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thinkingaboutjaedyn · 16 hours
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my heart over yours; part two | j.fleming x reader
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prompt: your attention is suddenly not fully on jessie and she's not taking it well.
author notes: here's the part two y'all wanted 🥳 thanks for all the love on the first part like i swear i seen everything, just too nervous to say anything back lmaoo. regardless i hope this meets expectations 💗 enjoy! p.s. i swear the fic reads better while listening to the song...
contains: ucla!jessie x reader, childhood bestie!jessie, jealous!jessie, jeffery is trying to not tweak out 💔 #failed, reader is sorta of a bad gf/about to be gf to blondie, slight guilt tripping (?) not on purpose, spelling / grammatical issues maybe ignore them, jessie is sorta mean in this..
part one
playing been away by brent faiyaz 🎵
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you don't answer jessie's question right away. easily being able to spot the badly hidden irritation in her voice, she could never hide her emotions from you. your heartbeat picks up as you look away from your screen. your eyes landing on your wall before you say anything. jessie asks something else before you can even answer her first question; "what did you say?"
"jess, what do you mean what did i say? if i said i forgot.. and.." you try to figure out what to say but can't find the words to tell your bestfriend that you forgot her game and technically can't make it because of a date with some girl you hardly know from class. jessie stays silent as she gets up out of the hotel bed. leaving her phone on the bed, her camera just facing the ceiling. you narrow your eyes in confusion, but before you could even say anything jessie comes back into the frame.
she grabs her phone then sets it up against something on the nightstand next to the bed. your confusion worsens as you notice some type of shirt in her hands as she walks back a little so that most of her is in the frame; now that you can fully see her you notice that she's wearing your plaid pajama shorts and your hoodie.
"so that's where my clothes went?" you say in a joking tone, trying to lighten the mood. you smile once you see jessie let out a soft giggle. she shakes her head before holding up the shirt; showing off the backside that has your last name on it. now that you can see what the shirt actually is you can see it's a national canadian team jersey. you let out a loud laugh of disbelief, not expecting to see your name on the back in of a national team jersey ever. "jessie..what..?" you say, a smile on your lips.
jessie holds up the jersey for a few minutes before moving out of frame to go put it back near her bag on the other side of the room. she comes back to the phone, picks it up, and lays down on her bed.
"all of the team said we should get you this since you're always at every game.. sometimes.." you giggle hearing jessie say sometimes, she gives you a little eye roll before continuing, "and we were going to surprise you with it this weekend but.."
her trailing off makes you frown. guilt rushes into your mind. you have been to a majority of the canadian national team's games especially if they happened in canada; it just felt natural to support jessie and pretty soon after attending your fifth game, you weren't just attending for jessie. you went to the games to see the other national team players as well. with the whole team becoming close to you just as they are close to jessie. you're basically a honorary player.
"god, jessie-" again you try to explain yourself more, but she cuts you off again. "sorry i just keep not letting you talk, but, god.. you don't have to come if you don't want to. it's not like i want to guilt you into doing something. never that," jessie says softly. you let out a sigh at how kind-hearted jessie can really be. she was a true sweetheart.
you go silent for a few moments. thinking about the current situation and how you could possibly not hurt anyone's feelings in the process. jessie was your top priority, but sasha didn't deserve to just be blown off. she wasn't too bad; she was really a good person too. it didn't feel fair to just drop her. you let out a soft gasp when an idea comes to your mind. jessie furrows her brows as you say, "i'll come but i have to talk to sasha first. you know about the date. don't wanna just blow her off."
"oh, okay. yeah that's.. whatever," the freckled woman tries to hide the irritation that's back in her tone. why did you have to talk to sasha about anything? especially something pertaining to you and jessie, not sasha. you hardly knew the girl and now you needed her opinion on decisions that frankly don't have nothing to do with her? it was slowly pissing jessie off. she fights off to urge to say that you actually don't have to talk to sasha first and you could just get on the first flight to san diego instead of wasting your time on some blonde chick who doesn't even know you; well, doesn't know you like how jessie knows you.
she wasn't even your girlfriend, just some date. hardly that, more like a project partner.
you can hear the irritation in her voice easily, again, jessie couldn't hide her emotions around you to save her life but you don't address it. reminding yourself to talk to her about it when you come down to san diego for the game.
soon enough the conversation moves away from anything sasha related with you not wanting to annoy jessie any further. she rambles to you about this show she's been watching throughout camp and how when she went to the beach she got thrown in the water and also how she saw this shop that she thinks you would like and so much more. that short time period where it felt like you two hardly talked really took it's toll on her, who else could she talk to about anything and everything? no one else. that period of time took it's toll on you too. you didn't realize how much you missed jessie until you talked to her for hours.
that night she refused to let you hang up, not that you were going to. asking (pouting at you) for you to fall asleep on facetime with her. you obviously agreed; falling asleep first. once you fully fell asleep, jessie took a few facetime photos. putting them in her folder in her gallery that she has for you. eventually she drifts off to sleep too. sasha long forgotten.
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in the morning you're the one who hangs up first at the dismay of jessie. the canadian player tried her hardest to get you to stay on the phone until she had to go training which was in two hours. unfortunately, you had a morning class and felt weird about staying on the phone while in a classroom of nearly hundred people.
"i'll be silent, c'mon," jessie pouts. her hair is an absolute mess, stray hairs flying everywhere out of her loosely tied ponytail. she's still so tired. you can tell by how she's trying to keep her eyes open; her tired voice makes you smile.
"no, jess, you c'mon. you are so noisy when you're getting ready," you say. jessie lets out a groan before shaking her head, "no i'm not. i think you confused yourself with me because that's all you."
"stop lying to yourself, freckles."
"whatever, whatever. go ahead and leave me here.. all alone.." you roll your eyes at jessie's dramatics. she groans again when even her dramatics don't work. you finally hang up after promising her that you would call her tonight. she texts you hardly a minute after you hanged up,
freckles 💗
you woke me up, left, and now i can't sleep 😐
you
that's not even my fault
blame ucla
freckles 💗
im not saying you should have skipped class for your long term bestfriend..
but im not saying you shouldn't have
you
did someone replace my bestfriend?
my jess always forced me to go to class so..
freckles 💗
👎👎👎
not replaced it's called upgraded
you send a few texts back before slipping your phone into your bag. it seems that jessie falls back to sleep as you don't feel no vibrations from your phone as you walk to your first class.
the day passes by slowly as you bounce from class to class. why did you pick this major again? you can't even remember at this point. jessie sent you a few photos of her eating breakfast earlier. those made you smile and feel a little less exhausted. if only she was here. the day continues on and eventually you reach the class where sasha is in.
you two haven't talked since she asked you out yesterday. you were busy talking to jessie and you guess sasha had other things to do as well. now she's sitting next to you in class. sasha's playing with your fingers while telling you about how she struggled to cook dinner last night. you make a few jokes about how she could probably burn water if she had the chance which makes her give you a playful push to the shoulder.
"uh, sash. can i call you that?" you ask softly, unsure about giving her a nickname. sasha smiles, "of course you can. it's better than blondie, you know."
"who calls you that?"
"idiots who don't know me," she gives you a cheeky smile before shrugging, "but you do know me so don't call me blondie. alright?"
you give her a nod while smiling. the woman has a good sense of humor, you won't deny it. not like jessie's but funny. you mentally scold yourself for comparing the two; they are two different people, obviously they won't act the same.
"alright. anyways, i have something to ask you," your eyes glance over to the door of the classroom where your professor now comes though, "after though. our professor finally decided to show up." sasha giggles at your jab before nodding, pulling away from touching your hand.
the lecture lasts for nearly three hours. with the professor at the end reminding everyone to turn in their projects next week. good thing you and sasha finished that huge hunk of work earlier in the week; you didn't feel like stressing about that while down in san diego. sasha holds onto your arm as you two walk out of class then towards her dorm. "i didn't know rather your question was something important, so i wanted to give us some privacy. you know," sasha smiles as she lets your arm go.
"yeah, i get it," you walk into the vaguely familiar space after she unlocks the door. dropping your bag onto the floor next to her bed before sitting on it. you watch sasha slip her shoes off before joining you on the bed; shoulder to shoulder. for some reason you shift away, not out of rudeness. you just didn't want to be that close right now. if sasha cared she didn't say anything.
"okay, so, do you know about the usa vs canada friendly that's happening in san diego over the weekend, right?" you say, remembering how sasha and you talked about soccer sometime ago.
"yeah. what about it?"
"you know my bestfriend, jessie?" you don't notice how sasha purses her lips hearing you say jessie's name, you continue, "she plays for canada and i always go to her games. i been missing her and her entire team, so i planned to go to the game this weekend and forgot to tell you. i don't regret saying yes to the date, but i was thinking.. instead of going on the date you could come with me to the game? it would be so fun, i swear!"
sasha was feeling conflicted at first. she wanted to spend time one on one with you, so you two could possibly further this relationship between you but having the opportunity to go to an international friendly wasn't usually given to her. "yeah! okay, let's go. i been wanting to see the usa play for so long anyways," she gives you one of her usual bright smiles. seeing that smile calms your nerves. now you just had to tell jessie.
you spend almost ten minutes in sasha's dorm. just playing around and talking before you notice how it's starting to get late. sasha walks you all the way out of her dorm building, telling you to sleep well as you leave. you give her a smile before continuing to walk away.
the moment you get into jessie and yours dorm, you text her.
you
i asked sash if she wanted to come to the game
she said yes
can you get her a ticket pleasee. all the good ones sold out
freckles 💗
who is sash??
you
sasha..??
jessie just came back from training, already having taken her after practice shower and changed into some sweatpants and a hoodie. she wanted to be ready to facetime all night, no interruptions. she wasn't expecting you to text her about sasha; at least not like that. after last night, jessie almost prayed for you to text her the next day that you were coming alone. she didn't expect you to text that you invited sasha to her game. and now you're giving this blonde chick nicknames? all jessie can do is roll her eyes. she fights the urge to lie and say that she couldn't get any tickets; that the game is fully sold out, but she knows you would catch that lie easily. while jessie's thinking about it, her phone vibrates with another text from you.
you
im going to get in the shower
text me yes or no
if yes send the ticket 🙏 ur a lifesaver if yes
your text makes jessie sigh. she doesn't want to disappoint you even if it kills her. around ten minutes after you sent that text, she starts to ask around if she could get a ticket for the game. claiming it was for "a friend" she cringed saying that, but regardless. it wasn't hard to get a ticket, she is a player after all.
you get out of the shower an hour later. you're drying your hair as you move over to your bed to grab your phone; noticing a text from jessie. you smile as you read,
freckles 💗
i got one
*photo attachment sent*
you can give it to her when she comes down with you i guess
i'll just give it to you
you click on the photo, zooming in to see what seat sasha will be sitting at. your eyebrows furrow in confusion as you realize the seat on her ticket is on the other side of the stadium, away from you.
you
bro jess
that ticket isn't even near me 😭
freckles 💗
you didn't say anything about wanting the ticket to be near you
be clearer next time what 👎👎
you
be so serious..
jessie facetimes you and obviously you answer. now sitting down on your bed, your phone propped up against a plushie near your pillow. you sitting slightly to the side, trying to braid your hair. once jessie phone connects, she's pouting, "i can't see your face."
"yes you can, jess," you giggle. jessie pouts gets worse, "hardly.."
"you're such a baby," you look at the screen to see jessie resting her face against one of the hotel bed pillows, her hair a little messy and out of a ponytail. the sight makes you giggle again; how she's looking is just proving your point. jessie is a baby.
"i'm not a baby. just miss you..wanna see you," she says softly. being away from you without talking much was already tiring her out. she wasn't used to it, if you two could be on the phone all day she would. the second you step foot into san diego, you aren't getting rid of her. irritation bothers her mind again as jessie remembers that you invited that blonde to come see the game. she smiles when you say, "miss you more. i feel so bad. it's my fault we haven't been talking and seeing eachother as much."
"blame ucla, isn't that what you said earlier?" jessie jokes, "no but seriously, it's not your fault. you're just so hardworking. it's admirable"
"i know jessie fleming isn't calling someone else hardworking," you joke back. trying to hide how jessie's compliment makes you smile so hard; it's her favorite thing to tease you about. she was addicted to complimenting you it seemed. the canadian always had something good to say about you, it's a habit she gained back when you two became friends in elementary.
she scoffs, "i swear you work harder than me." right after saying that she yawns. you don't even try to argue with her. knowing how stubborn jessie can be sometimes. you yawn too, the day was tiring enough and seeing jessie makes you even sleepier. you read somewhere about how people get all sleepy around others who make them feel safe? yeah, that's what's going on here. too bad you weren't in her arms right now, instead talking to a screen. you get up out of bed, going out of the frame to go cut off the light before coming back to lay on your bed. shifting to be in a similar position as jessie.
"god, now you're copying me? you're obsessed," she jokes, making you roll your eyes. "be so serious with yourself. you are the one always wearing my clothes."
"alright. i can't argue against that," jessie yawns again. you decide this is the best time to talk about the ticket situation before jessie ends up dozing off like she always does. you shift again, pressing your face against your pillow as you pull up the cover; making your lips slightly pouty. jessie smiles seeing you all pouty and sleepy. she couldn't wait to see you in person. too bad that smile doesn't last long as you say, "why would you get sash seats so far away from me? that woman is going to be so lost."
the canadian scoffs, not wanting to talk about this right now or talk about sasha in general, ever. she curses how kind you are; why can't you just not care about this blonde girl? like you don't even know her truly. "that's the ticket they gave me when i asked. don't blame me, all the seats around you were sold out," she pushes away your concern nonchalantly.
"and since when was blondie, sash?" she asks. it's your turn to scoff, remembering how sasha said only people who don't know her called her blondie, you say, "since today. and why do you call her blondie?"
"because i don't know her name."
"you literally called her sasha the other night."
"not my fault that it's forgettable. it's not like she's my friend," jessie says, not adding in how sasha isn't your friend either. you stop yourself from rolling your eyes at her childishness. it was funny and adorable, but slightly annoying.
"ugh, alright, freckles. i'll drop it before i annoy you to death," you roll your eyes once jessie smiles. she thanks you before the conversation falls into talking about how she failed a push-up contest earlier.
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you and sasha fly out to san diego the day of the match. unfortunately college made it a little hard to come out earlier than saturday with you having an exam on thursday, but still you two make it.
checking into the same hotel as the canada national team at around six, an hour before the game. getting from the airport to the hotel was easy but the traffic was not fun. at least it wasn't as bad as la traffic, but still horrible.
you're standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom of your shared hotel room with sasha. you texted jessie earlier before you boarded the plane that you would be there with her text back a quick okay since she was busy preparing for the game. there wasn't a need to text her that you were here, it's not like she would be able to answer it.
"wow, you betrayed me. canada really?" sasha playfully says as she walks into the bathroom. wearing a usa jersey that has s.mewis on the back while you're wearing your usual fleming canada jersey. you smile as you tease back, "i'm canadian. what did you expect? you betrayed me actually. really, usa?"
sasha shrugs, leaning against the bathroom counter, "gotta support the fellow tall blonde. sammy is a total beast." you just smile and don't argue back. what could say? sam mewis is a force on the pitch. it's been years since you played and even you knew that.
you finish getting ready after almost fifteen minutes. with sasha coming in and out of the bathroom while explaining that she actually really enjoyed the usa when they played, but is just a casual fan. you two leave out of the hotel room with just enough time to grab a drink before going to the stadium.
"sorry that your ticket is like so far from me. jessie couldn't get one closer," you say to sasha as you sit beside her in y'all's uber. the blonde woman takes it well, just saying that she will catch you after the game. you explain to her that you two are going to go down on the pitch after, so she shouldn't leave and go back to the hotel.
"forgot your bestie was a bigshot," she says when you two reach the stadium. shutting the car door after you get out of the backseat. "yeah. freckles is just that good," you smile, pulling sasha along to one of the entrances. once you two go inside, y'all split up. sasha joking that she'll see you on the other side which makes you laugh.
when you reach your seat, you get comfortable. sipping on your strawberry drink as you wait for the match to get started. the stadium has a nice amount of fans, with you even noticing that some seats around you are empty. shaking your head as you think about jessie's excuse last night; all the seats around you were sold out? as if. speaking of jessie, you spot her on the pitch. she waves once you two's eyes meet. quinn, who's beside her, waves as well. giving you a heart gesture that you return.
soon enough the game starts. it's fast and intense with players on both sides being aggressive in their own right. jessie even scores a goal for canada which makes you scream. she gives you a smug smile when she passes by where you are in the stands, making you roll your eyes. the match continues on with you screaming a bit more everytime things got too intense. the score line ends up being seven to six; the usa scoring a last minute goal to secure the win. your eyes look at the usa players fall into a group hug before looking around the pitch at the canadian players who obviously didn't look as overjoyed.
fans start to leave the stadium after some of the players walked around to interact. jessie is still far off somewhere on the pitch while you get out of your seat and walk over to the stairs of your part of the stands. leaning against the railing, trying to look around if you can see a certain tall blonde in the rapidly emptying stadium. you don't notice when she comes up to you. she playfully pushes your arm as she says, "told you the usa would win."
"yeah, whatever. canada is going to get y'all back next time," you tease back. you two stand near the bottom of the stairs, right where the pitch meets the tunnel. it takes a bit but jessie starts to make her way over to you. a bright smile on her lips. you can tell how excited the freckled woman is by her fast walking, making you giggle. when she gets close enough you walk onto the pitch to meet her. pulling her into a hug, your arms wrapping around her neck. sasha walks onto the pitch behind you but stays a few steps back.
"god, missed you," jessie's words come out half muffled as she nuzzles her face into your neck. her hands holding onto your waist. you sway a little, saying, "missed you more." soon jessie pulls her face out of your neck, still hugging you as she rests her head onto your shoulder. sasha and her eyes meet; jessie's hands moving lower onto your lower back, rubbing at the skin there with one of her hands going underneath the fabric of the fleming jersey you have on. the other resting on top of it.
"ew, your hand is all sweaty.." you mumble against her ear. jessie just chuckles, partially at your small disgust and partially at how sasha's eyes glance from where jessie's hands are on your body then back to meeting the canadian's eyes. the soccer player gives sasha a smug smile right before you pull away from the hug. you don't stray too far though, interlocking your hand with jessie's afterwards.
you pull jessie closer to sasha. smiling as you say, "sorry sash. we haven't seen each other in a while, so i got distracted." sasha nods, a small smile on her lips that don't really meet her eyes. she's about to speak when jessie cuts her off, "yeah, sorry.. savannah..? we just get carried away sometimes. i just been missing my bestfriend so much." you gently smack jessie's arm which makes her let out a soft ow. she looks at you and you look back.
while you and jessie are looking at each other, having a silent conversation with just eyes alone, sasha is looking at how you two's hands are interlocked. the way your thumb is rubbing on one of jessie's fingers; the way jessie gives your hand a light squeeze. her eyes look back up when jessie speaks, "sorry for forgetting your name. with the game and all, i'm just so tired."
"oh no, it's fine. we haven't even met really so i get it," sasha says. you let out a sigh of relief. just thankful sasha didn't take any offense; being rude to the only person in your entire lecture who actually talks to you would not be a good outcome. the conversation soon falls away into something else, with everyone wanting to move away from the awkward interaction.
eventually it's time to head to the bus to get back to the hotel. jessie doesn't let go of your hand once as she walks with you to the bus. sasha trailing behind. jessie stops next to the bus, glancing at sasha before saying to you, "are you going to come on the bus with me? everyone wants to see you and we were going to stop by this donut shop nearby that i know you'll like, i don't know where we're going to park such a huge bus, but we'll make it work i guess?"
you let out a giggle at her last sentence before considering jessie's question for a moment. stopping yourself from saying yes right away; jessie and donuts? you wanted to say yes badly, but then you looked behind you to see sasha and remembered that you didn't come to san diego alone.
"can't, jess. i don't want to let sasha take an uber alone. it's evening time," you explain. the blonde woman smiles hearing how you are so considerate. jessie wants to pull that smile off her face; what is she even smiling for? it wasn't some over romantic gesture. you're just a nice person. that's why blondie is here anyways because you want to be nice to people who frankly don't even hold value to you. jessie pushes away her annoyance, just saying, "okay. better come to my hotel room the moment i get to there, you have to get your donut." you smile and nod, pulling jessie into a hug before letting her go onto the bus.
sasha and you walk back to one of the entrances of the stadium. waiting for around five minutes for an uber, you hold the door open for sasha to let her in first and then you get in after.
the ride back to the hotel is awkward, but alright. you wanted to apologize for basically leaving sasha out the moment jessie appeared, but you thought that bringing it up would make everything else worse. while in the uber, sasha asks you a question, "there's this pizza place near the hotel that i been wanting to go to. never had the chance, college and all but i was wondering if you wanted to go. like tonight."
"tonight?" you look at sasha, seeing a hopeful look in her eyes. that look sealed your fate the moment you saw it; you been blowing her off all day, she deserves this one thing, right?
"yeah, sure."
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you two reach the hotel before the canadian national team bus does. after going to y'all's hotel room and changing out of your match outfits. you slip into one of jessie's t-shirts and some jeans. while sasha is changing in the bathroom into a yellow sundress. while you're sitting on your bed, waiting for sasha, you get a text from jessie that the team is back at the hotel.
"i'm going to go see jessie! she's here! i'll be back soon though, i swear," you shout out towards the bathroom before leaving out of the hotel room quickly. not even catching sasha's response. you find jessie's room, the freckled woman standing there next to her door. she must have put her bag inside of her room because it wasn't anywhere near her. she's holding two donuts, smiling when she sees you walking towards her, "gotchu your favorite. had to fight off ashley for it."
"you could've let her take it. we could have shared," you take your donut, taking a small bite. you enjoy it for a moment before remembering you have come here on a mission. "okay, jessie, listen.." by your tone jessie can already tell you're about to say something she wasn't going to like.
"sasha asked to go to this pizza shop that she's been wanting to go to for so long and i have been ignoring basically all day and i feel so bad, so i'm going to go with her but once i get back, i'm sleeping in your hotel room," you say. jessie lets out a soft groan at hearing that you were going to technically blow her off for blondie. that tall chick couldn't have to want to go to that place that bad. she does smile hearing you say that you'll come sleep in her room after, but still, she wanted you for the whole night. not as some afterthought.
jessie shakes her head before saying, "i don't wanna impose but can i come along? you know i'm always hungry after games." that sentence wasn't even a lie she made up to join in on your little pizza date. you knew how hungry jessie got after every game especially if she was a starter.
"your appetite can never be squashed. whatever, c'mon," you laugh, pulling on her arm to bring her along with you down the hall.
"i haven't even eaten my donut yet and neither have you!"
"we'll snack on the way to the room!"
"what about my clothes? i have to change, i don't even have my hoodie on anymore."
"god jessie, you steal my clothes any other time. just borrow again."
you two bicker like usual all the way on the walk to the hotel room. the donuts are half gone by the time you two reach it. "so is sasha like in the room on the left or right of yours?" jessie asks. you give her a look, about to tell her that actually sasha and you got a joint room, but you don't even have to as sasha opens the door.
jessie stares blankly from sasha to you to sasha to you and finally landing her glance on you.
"what..?" jessie doesn't even hide the irritation in her voice, this was really starting to piss her off now.
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author notes: woww another cliffhanger 😱😱 i hope y'all liked it because i enjoyed writing it, tell me your thoughts about it too 💔💔 all the engagement was fun last time
© THINKINGABOUTJAEDYN
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drjholtzmann · 1 day
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this is dreamling more than dead boy detectives but it's been in my head since reading issue #25 after s1 of sandman. so, now feels like a good time to release it into the world. i just want them all to get in each others way
(season of mists spoilers)
------------
It’s not often that Hob smokes. It’s an expensive habit, and secondhand smoke and all that. But it’s hardly going to kill him, so he’s usually got an ancient pack on hand somewhere. Handy, especially in situations like this. Not that there’s ever been a situation like this before but, well. You live long enough. 
He slips out into the beer garden of the pub, lighting up almost absent mindedly, the action still muscle memory. 
“What the fuck,” he mutters, rubbing his thumb along his lower lip, “what the fuck. Dream, if you have bloody anything to do with this, I swear to god, Morpheus. What the fucking fuck.” He closes his eyes, lets his head fall back against the brickwork. Despite it all he huffs an exhausted laugh. Because sure. Of course. Yeah, why not. Of course this would happen. “Jesus Christ, Morpheus. Even if this isn’t you, bloody… fucking wish I could just ask.” It’s all said barely above a whisper. Just in case. Always just in case. He blindly ashes his cigarette and heaves out a heavy breath, “Lord above,” he scoffs, raising the cigarette to his lips again. 
“Hob?”
Hob startles, eyes snapping open, head knocking back sharply against the brick. “Fuck – ow – Dream?” He raises his free hand to rub the back of his head, wincing slightly. “That, uh… that worked better than expected.” 
“You were calling for me?”
“Yeah… sorta. I didn’t… think it worked like that. Didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“You did not. I had thought briefly of you.” 
“Oh, yeah?” Hob grins. “How come? You miss me already?”
Morpheus sends him a withering look. 
“I, um… dreamt of you. While ago. Was that – real?”
“It was.”
He nods, thumb nervously tapping the filter of his cigarette. “Uh huh. Figured. With the wine, and…” he trails off. The hollow feeling of that dream, or rather, of that waking coming back to him in full force. “You said some ominous shit. Then I said some ominous shit. Was that real, too?”
Morpheus nods solemnly. 
“Right. Don’t suppose you’ll explain that?” Morpheus remains silent. “Right. Course not. Things okay, though? Now? I mean,” he gestures to his friend, “you’re here. That must be good, yeah?”
“Yes. And no.”
“Great. Fab.”
“What I thought I was facing has… changed.”
“...’kay. Well, can I ask you a question?”
Morpheus pauses but, after a moment, nods.
“S’it got anything to do with the dead kids hanging out in my pub?”
“What?”
“Yeah, couple of boys who look like they should definitely be in school – about, oh, fifty years ago. At least.”
Morpheus’ eyes don’t actually widen in alarm, but there is something to that effect happening… not quite in his expression, but in his aura, perhaps. Hob gets the feeling that if he were a cat the fur along his spine would be standing on end. 
“So… it is related?” 
“Perhaps.”
“Definitely, then.” Hob takes a short puff of his cigarette. 
“Show me?” 
“Uh… I don’t know if they know that people can see them. I don’t know if people who aren’t me can see them, actually. So just, um…” the caution dies in his throat as he realises who it is he’s talking to. Morpheus will do what he will, Hob’s advice be damned. 
Dream draws close, peering in through the windowpane of the door back into the pub. “How do you know?”
“You get pretty good at feeling when things are off once you’ve been around the block six hundred years or so. Also, they walked in through the closed front door. As in, passed right through the solid wood and glass.”
“I see.”
“Why are they here?” 
“To sample your fine selection of craft beer, perhaps?”
“Oh, he’s joking,” Hob has joined his side in peering not-so-surreptitiously through the door. “‘Mortal plane’ here, not here-here.”
“Death must have been busy… It is not like her to leave a job unfinished without good reason.”
“Must’ve…? What the fuck could be so horrific that Death is being kept busy?”
Morpheus, beside him, is silent. Deadly still. And it tells Hob all he needs to know. 
“Dream,” he hisses, “what the fuck is this? What’s going on?”
There is a long pause. “I ought not to tell you.” Dream murmurs, still facing the glass panel of the door.
“And I ought not have two dead teenagers in my pub. All things relative.” 
“They are causing no harm.”
“I don’t doubt that. It’s you I’m worried about now.”
“Your concern is of no use. What I mean is that they are no poltergeists, not aggressive, there seems to be nothing demonic about them.”
“Which means… there are poltergeists and demons running about at the mo?”
“I told you, I ought not say. There are diplomatic proceedings to take place.”
“You get that that makes even less sense, yeah?”
Dream seems to, at last, with an almighty eye roll, give in. “Hell is closed,” he hisses, turning to face Hob directly. 
“Hell is closed.” Hob repeats back, dumbfounded. “And that means… The devils are all here?”
“Precisely.”
“But the boys… aren’t devils?”
“They are not.”
“Okay. That’s good news. And the devils?”
Dream shrugs, sharp and languid. “Anywhere. Everywhere.”
“Great. Okay. Less good. Very much less good. So, uh. What… do I do? Am I supposed to exorcise them? Because, I have to be honest – would really rather not do that.” 
“You are under no obligations.”
“Oh.” 
“They could not be here without Death’s knowledge or her say-so. She will come for them in time.”
“Oh.” Inexplicably, Hob’s heart sinks a little.
“They are not alive, Hob.” Dream says, looking him in the eye. “They cannot live forever as the dead.” 
“Hm. Yeah. S’pose.” He looks through the windowpane at the two boys, chatting animatedly at a corner table out of the way. “They’re just kids, though. Barely got a normal life.”
“You cannot save them, Hob.”
“Why not?”
“You cannot. They may not be destined for Hell, but that doesn’t mean they can stay amongst the living.” 
“Says who?”
“The universe. Death, herself.”
Hob smirks, tilting his head down a fraction to look up at Dream from under a quirked brow. “You know what I think of Death.”
And Hob catches the tension at the corner of Dream’s mouth that he knows, whatever he might say to the contrary, is a suppressed smile. 
“C’mon, what if I just help ‘em live a little? While they’re here?”
“Hob.”
“What?! Can’t a guy be nice?”
“I have meetings to attend to.”
“That’s not a no.” 
“I think it a poor choice to flaunt immortality in front of two who have died so young. I would caution against it.”
“Okay. Fuck, fair point. But they don’t have to know about me. They wouldn’t somehow know, right?”
“I would caution against it, Hob Gadling.”
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nunalastor · 1 day
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Dark found family
(3 am brainrot got to me please help)
we’ve established that Charlie kinda does figure out that this is wrong and stuff, and there’s a fairy tale quest with the overlords getting all the keys throughout hell. And the overlords get to the hotel and each and every one of the hotel gang (Angel Dust, Vaggie, Husk, Niffty) just gives up their key because they know that this is WRONG. What if Charlie does the same thing and that’s what gets the overlords to kinda sorta forgive her. (But then they did an entire quest for nothing! NOTHING!) cue song apology (this is actually a recap of all their (Charlie and Lucifer’s) war crimes) (I feel this would be cannon for Charlie) (maybe not) so yeah. They go to the DOOR™️ and instead of inserting all the keys together because that would take a while and time is of the essence, they do Charlie’s instead. Because the DOOR™️ was probably made by Lucifer, and he’s probably (most likely) want to know if it was being opened with a key. So he has this feature where the DOOR™️ tells him if it’s being open, and if so, who’s key? Well, he’d definitely gonna know if the overlords are there cause who else is gonna use 20 different keys to open the DOOR™️??? Not him or Charlie! SO ANYWAYS (I’m getting off track ;-;) they use Charlie’s key cause A) it’s faster B) “Charlie” (the rescue group) visiting alastor is most likely normal behavior for her so Lucifer wouldn’t really suspect it.
So they enter the room and I see like three options here:
A) Alastor isn’t there.
Lucifer figured it out somehow (I don’t know how yet) and took Alastor away, probably to the royal palace to the ROOM™️ of that one ask where Lucifer takes Alastor to a room without windows or doors and there was a pantry with all the food he needs and the ceiling of the ROOM™️ is a false sky. ANYWAYS main takeaways here is that Lucifer knows, took Alastor away, and there is big boss fight right here right now. I don’t think they would win, so either Charlie talks him out of his decision or she doesn’t. Either way, people get hurt, just a matter of whether Charlie can convince Lucifer to let them live. (He’s killing them all for the crime of trying to take away his Alastor) (gods that felt wrong to type) I don’t think Lucifer would kill Charlie though, she’s a part of his family (family in italics to show importance) he would kill the overlords and anyone else tho. (Didn’t I already kinda allude to that?)
B) Alastor is there.
They see Alastor and it’s really heart breaking how detached he is, he probably doesn’t even realize they’re there (I don’t know anything about severe mental catonia) (is that how you spell it???) ANYWAYS (I’m so off track) perhaps there is an arguement with Charlie because while they knew what was happening, (maybe they didn’t know the full extent, after all, they only know that Alastor hasn’t been out in a while, and whatever Vox can scrape up in that one ask where he calls an overlord meeting with a giant cork board with red yarn and ANYWAYS) it’s different seeing it up close. I think they might spend valuable time arguing (mainly just everyone going after Charlie and Charlie doesn’t really have anything to defend herself) until someone stops them. (probably Zestial or Carmilla, they are maybe most likely to keep a level head in this situation, but then again, they really cared about Alastor, and I think this would break them to see him this way) They stop the arguing (verbal attack) against Charlie because they don’t have a lot of time and they should be using it getting Alastor out of here. I think they (those who can) try to teleport out but they can’t because Lucifer knows that they are there by now (the arguing was so loud, and he’s not the type to leave his beloved alone for long (possessiveness)) and did some sort of magical magic spell. Cue fight. (Look up at A) Alastor is not there for details).
C). Alastor is dead.
they were too late in trying to get to him and they see his dead body just lying there.
👀
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front-facing-pokemon · 9 months
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sea-jello · 6 months
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Day 21/October 21: Day of the Departed || Reminisce (??)
GRAHH ITS STILL THE 21ST SOMEWHERE i’m apparently using morrotober to try new things this one’s a new lineart brush that i’m sorta warming up to and the POSE and the BACKGROUND and the LIGHTING i’m surprised i finished this at all tbh. and also new morro design
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bg lineart and sword vs neither plus the green ghost fog thing i do basically if you zoom in really really close the lines aren’t smooth on the lineless bgs but icba the pedestal can be chipped or something. i kinda like without the sword and fog cause it gives him a more isolated feel yk (that was my original idea lmao)
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this one’s my attempt at funky mannequin hands
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rubitheracoon · 1 month
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Who knew the first humanoid I would ever draw decently would actually be the character I've been obsessed with for the last 3 months
ANYWAY I FINALLY MANAGED TO DRAW A PERSON IM SO HAPPY!!
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antirepurp · 3 months
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something something the appeal of palworld came largely from the concept of people intentionally parodying and/or ripping off pokemon designs to create an exaggerated and edgy interpretation of the stale pokemon formula, and that appeal gets lost immediately if those designs were generated with AI algorithms, because now the legally distinct piplup isn't an intentionally legally distinct piplup but rather the result of an algorithm creating its typical slop out of the work of artists who likely did not consent to their work being used for the purposes of training an algorithm. a sense of humanity that is required for parody to have an appeal is lost. the similarity to pokemon designs was funny when you believed it was the devs taking real pokemon and modifying them slightly, but now it only feels like the kind of shit you get when you ask an algorithm to generate you a picture of sonic. im less bummed that a game that i was looking forward to might be algorithm sludge and more worried about what the initial hype this game had before these concerns were brought up might signal to bigger game developers who want to replace human artists with algorithms so bad it makes them piss themselves in excitement
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astranauticus · 8 months
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oh lol i forgot to post this robit sketches! because i have one (1) bit and im sure as hell gonna commit to it apparently
#rolling with difficulty#art I made#'shut your up' is a verbatim quote from an ex classmate i just thought it was funny#i dont think it was intentional i think he was just so angry that Words Failed on him#anyway im absolutely not keeping that maxim design. god i fucking hate clothing design *so* much#austin: 'hes a gold plated mechanite dressed in blue and grey robes' me trying to figure out colour placement: 'what FUCK'#i had one (1) good idea and that was 'skeleton shaped robit' and every other part of that design went to hell apparently#bc all the other mechanites we've had were either like... flesh..? shaped?? like that sorta silhouette (basically most of the old crew)#or more mechanical/geometric (vr-la's designs and like.. k-lb? i guess? if that counts)#so. therefore. bone shaped mechanite. also if i was gonna try that concept on anyone it may as well be maxim if you think about it#idk i thought it would be interesting. and also undertale was my first fandom so uh#ANYWAY. MOVING ON FROM THAT THOUGHT.#this started as a 2am intrusive thought of like#'we (artists in the discord) keep joking abt how k-lb would be a nightmare to draw but like.. how hard is it really'#anyway as you can probably expect. famous last words#i mean genuinely mad respect to noir but i think i said to one of my friends when i showed them this sketch#'i mean this in the nicest way possible but you can just tell he was designed for an audio only storytelling format' LMAO#if anyone is unwise enough to attempt this (so basically @ my future self lmao)#do the lineart and colouring for the wires in front of the inner electricity skeleton (???) and the ones behind it on SEPARATE LAYERS#drew the wires all together then the electricity and had to painstakingly go over the electricity with an eraser it was a fucking nightmare
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bright-eyed · 6 months
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My friend texted me last night asking me if i'd ever watched portrait of a lady on fire because it reminded her of me <3 we're gonna watch it together tomorrow <3
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yuridovewing · 5 months
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yknow i wassss gonna gut the cinderheart reincarnation plotline for razorverse because of how clumsy and insidious the original was… but i have been playing pokemon rejuvenation and now i sorta wanna take influence from that game’s reincarnation plot. where the reincarnation is actually a curse that is detrimental to both cinders and has damaging psychological effects on everyone involved
#i mean ig the original plot had hints of that but it was less that and more ‘’omg we gotta make THIS life worth it!!! (aka not disabled)#which this wouldnt have#id totally gut the disability angle altogether tbh#but im imagining like theres legit magic going on. probably bc of the tunnels#maybe cinderpelt was the first cat to realize there was something up with the tunnels. and she accidentally cast a light spell in there#and she began to experiment a bit. and this is what drives her attention away from leafpool for a bit#i wouldnt know what EXACTLY shes doing. maybe she found it before the moonpool was found and wanted to try and create a starclan entry#for the other medics#and once the moonpool was found she tried to stop but realized she wanted to experiment more#like. can she try and contact starclan on her own? could she figure out how exactly starclan ticked?#and she gets in contact with rock who sorta takes her on as a disciple…#im thinking every cat is capable of reading starclan but it varies and cinders’s sense was very low#so she was trying to compensate for that#it distracts her from clan life and pulls her away and suddenly the bubbly cinderpelt everyone knows has just vanished#but they brush it off as the trauma from the journey#but then we get to her death- she’d been trying to create that pathway and as ive said RV!Starclan is a spiritual anomaly#where cats are supposed to reincarnate but instead they linger#creating the starclan group. but in tampering with magic- cinderpelt got locked out of the starclan cycle somehow and got cursed#the same curse as rock- every time she is slain#her body shifts and transforms and is ‘’reset’’ into a young kitten. into cinderheart#the soul of cinderpelt is trapped in there and it will stay trapped til the curse is broken. and the cycle will repeat when cinderheart dies#im thinking cinderheart reconnects with rock to look into this and shes tied in with the jayfeather plotline#and she struggles with feeling like a freak of nature who was born from tragedy#she gets added to sorrels litter and they pretend shes her bio kit but leafpool and the family knows the truth#razorverse
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hqmillioncorn · 8 months
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FFXIVWrite Day Two: Bark
With @winduphaurchefant 's Viggo Umbra
"And that was the only thing that happened?" Lunya asked. Babycorn walked around the room, juggling keeping Cherrypit entertained with a fish on string and talking to Lunya by linkshell, "Yeah! I promise! I talked with Viggo and everything and Cherrypit is totally-!" Babycorn was cut off by the sound of Cherrypit jumping onto the ceiling, the fish was in his mouth. "...as normal as he can be!"
One morning Cherrypit woke up with a pair of dog ears on his head and Babycorn had no idea what to do.
It had all happened so fast. 
Babycorn had just finished up putting the finishing touches on a sweater she had been up all night making as a present for Tilika. When she noticed the sun coming up she quickly made her way over Cherrypit’s designated play corner to close the curtains. 
“Sorry sun but I can’t have you burning my skin again!!” With an angry scowl on her face Babycorn closed the curtains. Just thinking about the week where her entire body burned after a fun day at the pool made her angry all over again. She was so caught up in the past that she failed to notice the blanket-covered lump right behind her. 
Then as she turned to go back to her sweater making, Babycorn tripped over the mysterious blanket lump and landed right on her face in the middle of a pile of Cherrypit’s toys. 
“Owwy…” Babycorn was well used to tripping and falling on her face by now but it didn’t mean that each fall hurt less.
Babycorn lifted her head up and looked up, noticing a small pink blanket flying over her. At that moment she remembered that Cherrypit had been playing ‘cocoon’ the night before and if history was any indication, he always fell fast asleep while playing this specific game. 
“Oh no…!” Babycorn panicked. What if she had woken Cherrypit up by accident?! Or even worse-?! Had taken off his cocoon before he had wanted to take it off?! She was truly the worst big sister ever!!!!
With leg strength that would be more useful in the middle of a battle rather than grabbing a flying blanket for her baby brother, Babycorn jumped up and snatched the blanket in mid-air. Babycorn flapped the blanket around to make sure it was still intact and sighed in relief. “Cherryyyy! I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-!” She turned around to give Cherrypit back his blanket and was met with a sight that left her speechless. 
Cherrypit was sitting down, sucking on his thumb and looking right at her, with a pair of dog ears on his head. 
“Haha! Bebe!! Yaaaay!!” He cheered and clapped for her. The ears on his head were wiggling alongside him. As if to prove to his sister that she wasn’t seeing things, Cherrypit reached up and wiggled them around himself. “Bebe! Look! Look! Bak! Bak!” he giggled loudly to himself and stood up to do a little dance. 
Babycorn fell to her knees and mentally began to beg her parents for forgiveness once again.
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Usually when it came to these sorts of things Babycorn would run over in a panic to the nearest person she knew that was smarter and wiser than her. And usually that person would be Lunya but Babycorn knew for a fact that Lunya wouldn’t be back for a few more days. 
(Meanwhile, thousands of miles away, Lunya couldn’t shake this feeling that something was wrong. Though she couldn’t discern it from the ‘Babycorn is eating bark off a tree again’ wrong or the ‘Babycorn thinks that a papercut she got is going to kill her’ wrong. Either way she would call about it in the morning.)
This left Babycorn with the smartest solution she could come up with. Which to be fair to her-was pretty smart. 
With Cherrypit riding on her head Babycorn made her way down the hall all the way to standing in front of the door to Viggo’s room. The scariest room in the entire mansion according to Coco. He had inadvertently filled Babycorn’s head with horror stories of what lied in this room. Horribly scary stories that Babycorn couldn’t bring herself to remember and not just because she forgot most of them and only remembered the feeling of sheer terror. 
But none of that mattered right now! She needed to be brave now! For Cherrypit’s sake!!
Babycorn began to pound on the door as hard as she could. “Viggo! Viggo! Mr.Umbra! Are you there!? I really need your help!! Please HEEELP!!! UWAUBBWUAWUANWAUNW!!!!” She loudly wailed. It should be noted that the current time was six in the morning. 
As the door opened Babycorn continued to panic and flail her arms around in the air. 
Viggo stood there watching her do this for a good few seconds before speaking up. “Good morning Babycorn, do you need anything?” Or was this the usual and regular morning wake up call by Babycorn that only wanted to say hi and then skip away. 
Babycorn froze and looked up, Cherrypit looked up alongside her. “Viggo!! I need your help!! It’s horrible!!!!!!” She was dancing around in a panic and screaming as loud as she could. 
“W-What?!” Viggo stepped outside of his room and held onto the door frame in shock, “Did something happen?!”
“I-I-It’s Cherry!!! Look!!! Something happened to him!!!” 
Babycorn moved her head into a position where Viggo could see Cherrypit. The dog ears that Babycorn had seen that morning were still on his head and unbeknownst to her, he had also grown a pair of little fangs in his mouth. 
Cherrypit gave Viggo a little wave, which Viggo returned with a little wave of his own. 
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Now that she was inside Viggo’s room Babycorn could clearly see that…
…Coco was 100 PERCENT RIGHT. This room was terrifying!! There were lots of glass bottles in things that she had no idea what they were and there were various papers all around her with big words she didn’t understand!!
“Brrrrr….” she trembled to herself. 
Viggo had placed Cherrypit on his couch and had begun a regular check-up on him. Which was usually a very short process when it came to Cherrypit, considering the lack of a heartbeat and the way most of his body was static and unchanging. 
…Most of the time at least.
“So, when did you first notice the ears?” Viggo handed Cherrypit a piece of candy to keep him distracted long enough for Viggo to examine his new ears closely. “Wow…Four pairs of ears…” Viggo said to himself, wondering if this somehow gave Cherrypit a heightened sense of hearing.
Babycorn ran over to where Viggo was and recounted the events of that morning.
“-And well it’s not like ears like that are a weird thing-! I know lots of people that look like that! Like B’ig and Cola and G’raha and B’rent and Linnet and Khloe and Zhloe and Centella and K’achow and-”
“Babycorn?”
“-Cait Sith and Vertical’s Brother Who’s Name I don’t Know and-”
“Babycorn.”
“-Himbo Hooters and Y’sthola and F'lhaminn-”
“Babycorn, do you want a candy?” 
Babycorn paused and looked over at Viggo like she was about to attack him. Really she wanted to attack the lollipop. “Omigosh! Would I?!” Babycorn jumped over and happily bit the lollipop and also Viggo’s hand. Something that Babycorn didn’t seem to notice she did but Viggo sure did. 
Babycorn had eaten both the lollipop and the stick. She thanked Viggo with a curtsy.
“N-No problem…A-Anytime Babycorn…” Viggo turned away and rubbed his hand which had a big ouchy on it now but he was being really brave about it. He may have been a doctor and not a dentist but he was fairly sure that lalafell teeth were not supposed to be that sharp. Ignoring the searing pain in his hand, Viggo continued to check over Cherrypit. Who happily continued to wiggle around in place. 
Babycorn popped out from behind the couch. “Is he dying?!” As usual she was jumping to the worst possible conclusions. 
“Well technically from what you already told me he’s already dead.” 
“Oh ya. That’s right!”
Cherrypit giggled, “Bebes funny!!” 
Viggo handed Cherrypit another piece of candy and let out a hum. “Cherrypit? Do you know where you got these ears from?” History had proven time and time again that Cherrypit remembered things much better than Babycorn did, and this time might be no different. 
Without any hesitation Cherrypit pointed straight at Viggo.
“BWA?! M-Me?!?!” 
Babycorn pushed herself up onto the couch and jumped in between Cherrypit and Viggo. “What did you do?” This was the scariest Viggo could ever recall Babycorn looking, even in the middle of battles.
Even so, he was determined to prove his innocence. “I didn’t do anything!!” Not that he could recall. “I promise!”
Evidently that was all the evidence Babycorn needed. Her deadly glare switched back to a cheerful smile. “Ok! If you promise!” she sat down and looked down at Cherrypit, her cheerful smile quickly switched back to her panicked expression. “NOOOOO CHERRYYY!!!” 
At the risk of having Babycorn turn his anger towards him again, Viggo decided to ask Cherrypit to clarify what he meant when he pointed to him. “Did I do something Cherry? Do you remember?” He watched earnestly as Cherrypit processed his question while he bit down on a piece of a steel ingot. 
Cherrypit looked up at him and smiled, one of his doggy ears wiggled. “Abbababayaaaaapoooogagagaweeeesaababanenebebeggyhabababa” he answered. 
“Ah. I see.” Viggo said. He did not see.
On the other hand, Babycorn had surprisingly stopped her panicking and let out a “Oooooohhh!!” Almost as she had understood the long string of baby babble that Cherrypit had just said. Mostly because she had. 
“Viggo! You did this!!” 
“H-Huh…?” That made two people saying he did this now.
Babycorn picked Cherrypit up and held him closer towards Viggo. “Rember’?! During dinner you were talking about how you could turn into a big doggy!! Cherrypit said he really liked that story and wanted to be more like you!!” That was what Cherrypit had told Viggo just now. He was really happy that Babycorn had been able to explain it. 
Viggo wanted to cry. “R-Really…?” He did remember talking about that particular topic yesterday but he was sure that Cherrypit hadn’t been listening at the time. Just how good was this kid’s hearing?? Besides that, it was really cute that Cherrypit wanted to be like him. 
Cherrypit let out a laugh and wiggled around some more. “Awoooooo!!” he laughed to himself.
Viggo and Babycorn let out a simultaneous “Awwww!” 
Though it didn’t worry Babycorn that her brother could grow dog ears in an attempt to imitate a grown-up he thought was cool, Viggo was a little concerned that Cherrypit found a way to do this. But before he could ask if Cherrypit had ever done something like this before…
“Haaaa! Vautreetrree!!”
Viggo looked over to Babycorn. “What did he say this time?” he asked.
“Oh! He said he was gonna go and eat some people later! Just like you! But don’t worry I’ll tell him that’s a bad idea! Haha!” Throughout that entire sentence Babycorn’s smile did not waver. 
“Yeah that’s…” Viggo adjusted his glasses and noticed the wagging tail that Cherrypit now sported. “...That’s a good idea.
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mitchell-nihil · 2 months
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Varen and Nat!!!
Varen looks shorter than Nat but he's just like slumped down a bit, they're supposed to be the same height...
I've been messing around a lot with what Nat's standard outfit in gonna be, I like how the hoodie rolled up with the under-shirt still at the wrists looks
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designernishiki · 8 months
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finished yakuza 6. but at what cost
#rambling#I really think. it was okay up til the last fight#the last fight is where shit started getting like. regressive#like we went right back to everyone sacrificing themselves and throwing their lives away for the sake of others again (namely kiryu)#when it’s like. you’d hope that the end of the game would have something to do with. NOT sacrificing yourself all the time and like. how#that doesn’t always have to be the answer to everything#but no it’s haruka about to sacrifice herself for her baby then yuta about to sacrifice himself for her and haruto and then kiryu#sacrificing himself for all three of them and fucking Dying* (allegedly)#like there was a whole thing earlier where kiryu was actively scolding yuta for running into something intending to die for the Greater Good#and trying to get him out alive because sacrificing himself isn’t the right or only answer#I know that’s a little different than a last second jump in front of a bullet sorta thing#but not really#point still stands#it’s just like. ok cool we’re back to square one#kiryu is sacrificing himself and running away again#gah hahah sh#and don’t get me started on the letter to daigo that was convoluted as Hell#I’ve already talked about why him being like a Son to kiryu doesn’t make sense to me and hasn’t been represented in any way on screen#but like. ghagsgsghhhh#that letter had some legit reflection in it by kiryu on familial/father figures and the bonds made with people and whatever#which is necessary to me to at least have some closure on that theme (not really but you get what I mean)#but I really don’t think relating it to how he’s apparently like a father to daigo was the way to go#I think that letter should’ve been to haruka and should’ve had some reflection on his father figure (kazama)#or Something like that. given he’s never really expressed many complex feelings about his own father figure and how that plays into how he’s#acted as a father and whatnot#or yeah at least the thing with daigo should’ve been worded differently. becuaee I do believe daigo has some father complex he’s assigned#to kiryu. even if that’s not properly earned (thankfully kiryu is aware of that).#idk man it’s just. complicated. and idk it felt kinda half assed tying it to daigo at the last second#believe me I want daigo to play an important role as much as anyone else this just sorta had like. no build up or connection earlier#anyway I have many thoughts about this ending and they’re all very complicated
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doctorwhoisadhd · 4 months
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im listening to the torchwood soundtrack on youtube while reading another life and huh... i guess i DO tune into non-diegetic music a lot, dont i??? and yeah sure i have a very good tonal memory especially being that i have a TON of practice with aural skills but i got to the woman on the roof and i remember thinking about how interesting the music was when i watched that episode. i remember what was happening visually on the screen when this played. and pearl and the ghostmaker, i remember this melody even though i lowkey hated that episode
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the-trans-dragon · 8 months
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I am eagerly waiting for my society to figure out that our sex is more complicated and nuanced than "male and female" and I think a nice baby step would be admitting that our concept of sex is...
...inadequate?
...incompatible with a comprehensive understanding of life?
...silly?
I don't think humans will ever have the perfect terms for perfect comprehension but...it's kinda human nature to try to find the words. Are you telling me that this type of terminology (link to the Wikipedia article) is the best we can do? Even when discussing creatures that clearly are not compatible with a binary view of sex?
Like, if we can't even admit that complex sexes exist somewhere on the planet, how could we fathom that they exist within us?
#sorenhoots#for now i give up trying to reseaech this funky little creature. its fascinating and i will try again later to learn how it works.#at LEAST after coffee.#i do kinda love this example because its elucidating the issue of sex being defined as 'reproductive capacity' versus 'gamete production'#versus 'chromosomes.' the way they say that the males have testes and the females have ovotestes and then the other source uses different#definitions to try to convey that REAL females are 'unknown' and i sorta understand that theyre trying to say 'we did not find any of these#that only possessed ova' but it fails to convey so MUCH! i cant wait to try to figure out what it means by that parasitism part. i like to#think about it myself before checking the data. maybe it's something like angler fish where they possess a sort of 'chimeric' testes? ah but#that is another word that has several incompatible definitions. i mean 'chimera' as in 'tissue originating from cells from a different#zygote' i guess (rather than 'from a different species.' and rather than the yknow :3 lion snake chimera).#but like if the sperm is just...from a male...what makes their gonad an ovotestis rather than 'this is a female who can store sperm which is#something seen in plenty of other animals'? do these reproduce by transfering their TESTES cells rather than just their sperm??? the part#about leftover sperm makes it sound like the testes gets reverse-engineered from the sperm. and if a creature can do that...i dont know what#'sex' that is but its REALLY not male or female. either way lol our current language is not able to contain the data.
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melto · 3 months
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something just like snapped in the back of my head like i Need to go like curl up in my room for like 5 days and play video games and not speak to like anyone
#^ guy who is not out of a depressive ep like he thought he sorta was#dont even like particularly feel the old urge of the anxiety/need to hurt my relationships like i used to..i just feel like shit.#short list of people i think i could handle like really speaking to rn but ultimately. i just want to be somewhere safe and easy#even if that feeling is like making me feel sorta suicidal still.#just dont have it in me to like figure out how to act normal right now. something i have to do around most people and nearly everyone#i intreact with irl right now#not healthy. Ofc naturally i know this. and i can push through it. im just not excited about it.#the exhaustion to like contain myself is greater than my lonliness even though that is rather large#and i would like to get this out of my system before like. the semester starts next week. which i know i cant like control but whatever#this is all sooooo stupid. i need to be alone but i need compaionship of someone i trust.#it feels like there is glue in my mouth and i can barely speak to people im not close with bc of how exhausted and anxious i am#man. thearpy is like. going to really . idk. probably not help my mood. bc it has been hard for me to word what has been happening to me#and im always so scared of saying something that will get me hosptizaled again. Even when it shouldnt. bc im not going to do anything.#but i am scared and tired simply. and while so much has gotten better and ive gotten so much better there are some things that i just.#cant seem to figure out how to fix or ask for help. whatever. Guy who is stupid and helpless and will have to just get over it at some poin#sry i just feel like shit. i should probably just eat something i havent been eating much. and then i will probably feel a bit better#news with isaac
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