#and this is the first time something this horrendous has happened somewhere I intimately know

[athetos]

Beyond heartbroken and furious that there’s been so little coverage comparably of the Buffalo shooting, whether it’s via social media, news sites, or local news (even though the shooting happened in my state). This wasn’t a random spur-of-the-moment killing spree; this fucker had this planned for months, even live-streaming it and creating a discord server to share details of it. He had a manifesto. He drove several hours to the market he shot at, solely because it was located in a predominantly Black neighborhood. He had an antiBlack slur written on his gun. He’s been spewing racist and antisemitic shit on 4chan and reddit. He wanted to radicalize other people, he wanted to inspire other shootings.

And barely anybody has fucking mentioned it. I know there’s been a metric shit-ton of awful shit in the news trying to keep our attention all at once. But Im just devastated and frustrated.

#this was very close to home to me #I knew the exact tops he fired at #I know those streets #and this is the first time something this horrendous has happened somewhere I intimately know #racism #antiblackness #shooting mention #Buffalo shooting #if anyone needs it tagged #antisemitism

[a-froger-epic]

Thank you for putting those psychotic Mary stans in their place. They are delusional. It’s mind boggling they keep insisting Freddie loved her above anyone else. Ummm, hello, the man confessed his sexuality to avoid being trapped in a marriage with her. I think he valued his own happiness more than he did hers, and I don’t fault him one bit for it. He could have carried on as a closeted bisexual man, but he chose to tell her “I DON’T LOVE YOU”. Love and affection are not the same thing. And what he felt for Mary was just affection. Tbh, I think she kind of manipulated him emotionally for leaving her and that’s why she stayed on as a friend and as an employee. Any woman that gets her heart broken like that breaks all contact and moves on. You learn to live without the person that caused you so much pain. It’s not like there were any children binding them together, she just couldn’t move on from the fairytale she wanted. Also, I am almost certain GL isn’t hers for life. I remember seeing a copy of his will somewhere and it states the house reverts back to his estate after 40 50? years. So it’s not like she can leave it to her children or anything. I’m trying to find a copy to verify.

I’m not really interested in putting anyone in their place. I have my own thoughts on the whole matter, is all.

I agree that it's pretty weird to insist Freddie loved Mary above everyone else. He had a lot of love for her, he did trust her, he also loved a lot of other people.

I don't, however, think it's as simple as "he confessed his sexuality to avoid being trapped in a marriage with her". First off, he had probably come to a point where he was forced to accept that he was gay. Yes, I'm aware he told her he was bisexual, but to me that really, really seems like him trying to spare her feelings and not make it seem as though their entire relationship had been a sham (because I don’t think it was, to either of them) or - we really can't know - perhaps even still hoping that it could be true. But I think it's the former, I think he was well aware that he was gay by then. He had, after all, been seeing a man behind her back for a year at that point.

And to his confession, Mary did not respond with shock or disbelief. She told him: Freddie, you're gay.

(This got really long, a lot of speculation and analysis under the cut.)

Mary knew, or as good as knew that he was gay. The confession was perhaps the final, definitive confirmation. And that leads me to think that, for one, their sexual relationship must have pretty much been non-existent for a long while at that point. This then begs the question, why didn’t she leave him? Now, anyone who hasn’t been in a long relationship might not be aware how common it is for two people, even without one person struggling with their sexuality, to end up in a sexless relationship. It’s actually really not uncommon. Sometimes, the physical attraction just fizzles out. I was in a relationship with a boy from when I was 16 to when I was 22, and in second half of that relationship we were pretty much down to being intimate every three to four months or so. He wasn’t gay, I was attracted to guys, we were just no longer really at all attracted to each other. But there are many other aspects to a relationship than just sex. I still felt that I was in love with him, I still had romantic feelings for him, even if the actual, sexual attraction was missing. I was the one to break up with him eventually and it broke my heart, too.

I think leaving Mary broke Freddie’s heart as much as it broke Mary’s heart, even though he was also in love with David. I think it’s possible to be in love with more than one person at a time, because that has happened to me - not for everyone, but I think that there are people who are more inclined toward feeling that way. I think Freddie was one of those people, which is evidenced by his insistence that he had enough love for more than person, he expressed so himself. At that point love becomes a conscious choice, because you’ll find few partners who are willing to share. You have to decide who you will and want to stay in love with and simply stay with. And that will be the relationship which is more viable. Clearly, when Freddie left Mary, his relationship with David had become more viable and being a sexual, sensual person, he was not fulfilled living in a partnership that had stopped being a sexual relationship. Whereas Mary, it seems to me, was someone who (and I’ve said this before) very readily brushed things under the carpet and just carried on. And likely would have carried on as long as Freddie was willing to. Yes, I think she loved him a lot, I also think that having been as young as she was when she met him, she couldn’t fathom not being with him anymore. But I think, in a way, Freddie felt the same. 

I disagree with what you say about any woman who has her heart broken removing herself from the situation after and moving on. That has not been my experienced and it is something that is highly individual and varies from person to person, from relationship to relationship, from situation to situation. I personally know more than one woman who has an ex who turned out to be gay and who is still very good friends with them.

I don’t agree that Mary staying in Freddie’s life was all Mary’s emotional manipulation. I would go so far as to say that she probably wanted to remove herself from the situation more than Freddie let her. Again, there is much evidence of Freddie not wanting to let go of people in his life. He had horrendous abandonment issues. In many ways, Freddie was needy. I think he would have been crushed and very distressed if she had broken off all contact with him. He would have found that very, very difficult to deal with. I think, rather, that Mary stayed in his life both because she loved him a lot and because he expressed his need for her to not abandon him completely. 

What comes to mind here is the relationship Kenny Everett had with his wife, which was by no means the same, but strikes some similar chords. So let me go there briefly. When Kenny proposed to his wife, who was a good few years older than him just by the way, she was aware that he was gay. She said she used to think of him as her little gay friend and was shocked at the proposal. However, they had apparently managed to have sex under the influence of LSD (yay, drugs? :/) and so Kenny had got it in his mind that he could marry and be in love with this woman, and that all the right feelings would come with ‘practice’, so he said, more or less. Now, from her perspective, she had already had a failed marriage and probably already understood that often sex is not all, and decided the companionship with somebody who cared about her so much, who she liked being with so much, was worth it. Here is the interesting thing. They went on to have what they both insisted later on was absolutely a real marriage, in their eyes. However, Kenny became depressed because of course he hadn’t ‘cured’ himself of homosexuality by getting married and eventually it was his wife who set him up with a waiter (during a night out to dinner with Freddie, no less, who was already with David at the time) and that waiter became Kenny’s first boyfriend.

But, the story of Kenny and his wife, Lee, does not end there. Lee ended up getting married again, and it was a bit of a shock to her when Kenny not only became quite upset that she would no longer wear his ring but also started popping over to her and her husband’s house for breakfast and such. Inserting himself into their relationship almost as a third wheel to some degree. Kenny did not want her back, he was very, very gay and ended up living with his two (!) gay lovers. But he also refused to let her go for a very long time. It had much to do with the fact that Lee really had mothered him a lot and clearly that was something he couldn’t quite get the same way anywhere else.

Now, Kenny is not Freddie and Lee is not Mary. But I think there was a part of Freddie which was very reluctant to let go of the aspects of Mary which his male partners couldn’t provide for him the same way. The practical care-taking aspect, the mothering, if you will. We are also talking about a certain generation here, please keep in mind, where men were not raised to be and not likely to be of a care-taking nature. I think Freddie solved that problem for himself the absolute best way he could, by keeping her close in a professional sense too and literally assigning her a business-related care-taking role. I’m nowhere near done speculating about all this, by the way. There are so many nuances here.

I do think that Mary felt she was owed something for having given so much of her time/life/energy to him, and I also do think that subconsciously she probably did express what a shame it was that they couldn’t have been right for each other, which fed into Freddie’s guilt and made him feel that he had to always provide for her because it was ‘his fault’ they could not be a happily married couple with children, etc. I have sympathy for both of them, to be honest.

So those are my thoughts on that. The ownership of GL and whether it runs out is not something I know a lot about, I’m afraid.

#ask response #Freddie Mercury #Mary Austin

[belladonna-behold]

Fire in His Throat

In which fire ignites in Chuuya's throat. It is an omen.

Or

Soukoku assassin fic WIP.

------

The charity is simultaneously everything that Chuuya has seen before and yet nothing like them at all.

That is a lie. That is a horrible, blatant lie because Chuuya sees this type of charity at least five times a year, and there is only one singular difference that sets this party apart from the others. One, single difference, and nothing more. One that puts all sensibility upside its head with its feet in its mouth, and he can only rationalize it as some sort of crude joke Mori decided to play on him. Or maybe god had. Maybe both. He is convinced that he'd spited them in a previous life.

And now his mouth stings of wine and gasoline. Paranoia burns.

In a perfect world, one that Chuuya can whittle to his whims and his needs, that is where it ends. That is all there is to it and Chuuya's paranoia is nothing but sleeplessness weeding through his bones and airway, nothing but water leaving his throat, an overreaction. But overreactions-be-damned, the mere thought of that one difference sets fire to his spine like a fuse sewn tightly to the skin of his back, dynamite in his stomach. An invocation of his name and Chuuya finds himself wary of every breath he takes lest it flicks the metaphorical match and blazes his lifeline flat. He might not have the best restraint on his nerves, but fire only ever comes to his throat when something terrible is bound to happen, and Chuuya's gut has never failed him before.

The flame in his throat is all but an omen. He can only pray that it will not come to fruition.

The party itself is common at best. Chuuya has seen prettier things, but it is not mud in a kaleidoscope. Marble under tacky, gilded seats—flecks of gold on creme-colored walls—tapestries fashioned from (what is likely overpriced) lace and silver silk—velvet curtains framing the south of Yokohama's cityscape: appallingly grand, yes, and a horrendous display of wealth. But not what he would call a picture of taste and aesthetic.

Creativity is not a trait of old money, Chuuya had learned, for creativity is partial to those who lack and old money never lacked anything. And though Chuuya would rather nothing to do with the noveau riche, one would presume that those born suckling on silver spoons would take at least a modicum after their forefathers— the old pioneers, the eccentrics. Alas, they never do. He once mused that all their creative inclinations were sucked dry from the womb to further inflate their parents' wallets. He wouldn't put it past them. He was witness to stranger phenomena.

It's not exactly a fair battle, per se. Galas, parties, charities– Chuuya's already seen it all, he thinks. And it's difficult to impress someone who's seen everything. What are gilded chandeliers when Chuuya's seen elaborate light shows on the rivers of Peru? What are the lights of Yokohama if not child's play compared to Las Vegas at midnight? Akutagawa says that Chuuya's always been stingy with compliments, more so with trainees. And maybe this party is not as dreadful as he sees it to be. But the one single difference burning holes through the back of his skull renders all of that musing moot.

His target is staring at him.

He curses. Why is he staring at him?

Why is The Dazai Osamu staring at him when he thinks he's not looking?

He snaps his head, swiftly, to catch the man amid the crowd. Only to see him mingling and smiling and fake-laughing at a joke he was told by a faceless suck-up as if he had not been staring at him for the last ten minutes. And for a moment, all he can think about is the audacity.

Chuuya is not going insane, he is sure of it. He knows the sensation of being watched more intimately than he knows incaution. Knows it better than he could any lover. Dazai is watching him, and that alone is dangerous. Dangerous, because Chuuya is not supposed to be noticed. Not by a lesser man.

So Dazai must not be such a man.

But that's the thing, he can't be noticed. He has no reason to be noticed. Maybe he is going insane and sleep deprivation is starting to creep up his bones and neck and brewing unbid paranoia—

Chuuya only has half the sense to look away when Dazai, the damned bastard, looks to meet his gaze, and then he smirks.

He smirks.

Dazai Osamu is audacious, and he's never even met the man.

Calm down, Chuuya. Breathe deeply. So he does and he profiles.

Dazai Osamu, aged 25, 181 cm, weighs 67 kilograms.

Dazai Osamu, proficient in Judo, Eskrima, mixed martial arts, and other forms of combat.

Dazai Osamu, an upstart socialite from the Armed Detective's Agency after appearing from thin air almost four years ago.

Dazai Osamu, the bane of the underground who has solved 136 major cases in his entire four-year run at the ADA, and counting.

Dazai Osamu, intelligent, dangerous, enemy—an enigma that even the head of the underground wants dead, his target.

Dazai Osamu, the one difference.

—And then the bastard winks.

He squints and pinches the bridge of his nose, stifling a groan with his lips. God, he needs another drink.

Chuuya calls Dazai the one difference because that is exactly what he is: a system error, an irregularity. He has never seen a man so coveted in all his years of mafia work (and that includes his newbie espionage missions). And someone so social too, though Chuuya can tell, from his eyes and in how he walks through the room with practiced composure strapped to his back, Dazai is guarded. More than others know. It is dangerous because Dazai is familiar when he shouldn't be.

Not to a mafia executive.

Chuuya has never been one for poetry or prose, but nothing defines Dazai better than oxymoron.

---------

Hey, it's a WIP!

So I'm thinking of making this blog a personal diary of sorts. I'm only ever articulate when I write things down, and I also frequently forget ideas, so might as well.

So about this WIP. This is supposed to be either the first or second part of a short-ish story: the Cendrillon AU, or, Assassin Cinderella. This is most of what I've accomplished for this particular project, but I do want to see this fic come to completion. Unfortunately, I frequently lose interest in most things I write because I don't have anyone to speak to about this stuff, and I'm not the type to join online communities (I'm an introvert, see?). But, that's only because I crave validation. So uh, validate me pretty please?

(^^ That's a joke. I'm working on that. >_<)

So, Soukoku. Chuuya's a real firecracker, at least when it comes to Osamu. And the first draft I made for this fic (currently untitled because I'm hopeless?) was quite a bit different from this. It focused more on personality (while this one focuses on pretty prose.) I wasn't that satisfied with it because it was mostly streams of thought in paragraph form, with angry Chuuya as the voice. My friend preferred that type of style, but what can I say, I like pretty prose better. I reworked it until I was decently satisfied, and ended up with this.

The thing about my writing is that I only have vague ideas of the beginning, middle, and ends (and sometimes not even that), with specific details I resolved to include somewhere somehow. So this is definitely going somewhere. I think.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #chuuya x dazai #chuuya nakahara #osamu dazai #dazai #chuuya #WIP #Cendrillon AU #Soukoku #double black #ship #romance #fanfiction

[halothenthehorns]

All in the Family

Chapter 38: Aunt Marge's Big Mistake

Remus had never really considered the smell of dog repugnant before, but the puddle he landed in and the odor that met his nose was really trying to change that. "Are you shitting me!" He howled in disgust as he pulled himself free.

Sirius whistled from atop a rickety pile of empty dog crates. "You must have really pissed off someone in another life."

"I hope you fall on your head from there," he snapped as he waved his wand to remove the mess, though that still didn't remove the lingering scent from his own nose.

The two took eyes off each other and instead spent a moment to glance around and realize they were the only two out here. Sirius, in his usual feats of ease and grace, landed on his feet beside Remus and the two cautiously circled the area to find themselves in some sort of barn, which mostly seemed to be used for storage. Stacks of dog-food, of a high premium quality, were in carefully managed containers as well as an assortment of collars, and even a few medical supplies.

"I'm feeling a little creeped out now," Sirius muttered, rubbing his neck and eyeing the cages he'd been upon.

Neither got the chance to make much more sense of it when the barn doors swung open wide, and Frank's surprised face peered in. "Oi, I found um!"

"Where are we?" Remus asked as they joined him at the door to find an even wider expanse beyond, quite the gorgeous acreage for some sight beyond, and a bulldog sitting at Frank's feet wagging it's tail curiously up at the pair.

"You're guess is as good as ours," James assured as he came up beside Frank. "Everyone else is inside that house," he gestured beyond the two where they couldn't yet see from the inside, "but I'm suspecting we're dealing with an animal lover. There's bulldogs all over the place round here."

The one watching at their feet was on the younger side, completely white, and rather healthy in weight Sirius decided as he knelt down and scooped up the pup.

"Let's go see if they've found the book yet, spread some light on this nonsense," Frank sighed.

Circling around the side of the barn found a very nice bungalow, clearly very well kept up with bright shutters opened wide. Even from their view as they approached what must be the backdoor they could already see inside the kitchen, where bright yellow wallpaper was abound and even more pictures of bulldogs hung from surfaces. Inside saw Peter at the table, face in hands and looking exhausted, with two more bulldogs sniffing curiously around his feet and Regulus at the table beside him. The two stopped talking when they entered, but to the others surprise there hadn't been much noise of hostility in either tones.

"Come on Wormy," Sirius said at once with chipper, going forward and clasping him on the shoulder while forcefully putting the puppy near his face. "Won't get back to our world tell we find the book, sitting around worrying ain't going to fix that."

"Alice already found the book," Regulus shrugged without concern.

"Well then let's get to it," Frank agreed going past them into the living room. Alice was sitting on the floor next to a snoring pooch as tan as the carpet rather than the plastic bound furniture, while four more dogs of the same breed were all lazing about comfortably, one nursing a litter of three. Lily was crouched down beside the proud mama, stroking a little fawn one.

"Don't be getting ideas now," he cautioned as he offered to take the book from Alice before sitting down by a brindle colored one with a rather rotund stomach and very round teets, likely promising another litter soon. "We don't have time to be hunting down formulas for puppies."

"I know," she sighed as she relaxed against the wall and glanced out the front window where a picturesque well stood on a hill. "It's just nice to land somewhere so pleasant for once. This isn't any of our houses, seems to just be some nice person who breeds dogs. I don't know what Harry has to do with this place, but it seems to be something good for once."

"Chapter title doesn't indicate as much," Frank said in surprise as he cracked the book open. The opening was as horrendous as usual, none of them ever actually enjoyed hearing of the Dursleys many ways they managed to make Harry feel as unwelcome as possible in that house.

Things picked up with interest though, when the Muggle news casually said a certain name.

The other five walked slowly into the room, eyeing Frank like they thought he was playing his first prank. Even Pettigrew was looking more lively again, still clutching the little white pup to his chest a little too tight as he went from looking at the book to not only his best friend, but the brother that shared the Black name.

"Did we miss something?" Potter demanded, wand clutched in one hand and the other balled into a fist. Frank found that a tad dramatic. It was the Muggle news after all, and while it had caught him off guard, there was certainly no reason for his him to be getting defensive over it.

"No, not really," he said calmly, already turning back to the book. "I'd think you heard as well as I, someone named Black broke out of a Muggle prison." The group remained cluttered in the doorway while Frank finished, though there really wasn't much more to be said from the news.

Lupin made an awkward sort of noise that may have possibly been an attempt at a laugh. He put a casual arm around his friend and eyed the brother with that same pained sort of look that was desperately striving for carefree. "Well, what do you suppose you two get up to in the future?"

"Stop exaggerating Moony," the elder of the two brothers pushed his friend away with a much more natural look of uncare. "Just something being stirred up in the Muggle world, how could anyone break out of Azkaban for it to be related to us?"

"Yeah," Regulus quickly muttered agreement, but his brows were still ruffled with confusion and uncertainty. Frank couldn't blame him. Of the two, he'd put money down the youngest would certainly break the news first in You-Know-Who's service rather than the toerag and self proclaimed savior to James Potter.

Harry very obviously had no reason to dwell on this, so it made sense he was distracted by the next interruption of someone named Marge coming about. His reaction to the news was distracting enough to get to them as well.

"What's that horrid woman done then?" Lily snapped in frustration. Already more than sick of the way these horrid people treated her son, she had half a mind to slap Petunia across the face when she saw her again, even if she still doubted herself to go through with it. This perverse future version of a life without her in it already featured a bitter best friend who treated her son so horrid and she was still bound and determined to find a way to an answer for that, her sister was a slightly lesser concern but one she'd have to deal with eventually.

At least this particular problem wasn't on her plate, this Marge was Vernon's sister, and the location they happened to be at suddenly made more sense. Then her hand froze on the little pups warm fur as the their surroundings went from cheerful to claustrophobic in seconds as the laundry list of misdeeds she'd done to Harry were listed. The bright wallpaper was sickening, the little box of dog treats placed sporadically had her clenching her jaw in disgust, and the walking stick left propped against the back door was something everyone was eyeing to be broken in half.

This was no innocent woman breeding dogs for a living, this was a horrible woman, just like every other person in Harry's life who treated that kid like scum, for what?! Lily felt fooled as she sat there shaking with rage, taken in by the beautiful countryside and calm animals around her not to realize there was always something repugnant under the surface.

Of course things only got worse when the woman arrived, Lily couldn't help but get defensive. Of Potter of all things! And not just Harry! This Marge woman shamelessly took to taking criticizing to an inhuman level in regards to Harry and even going so far as to putting this blame on his parentage. As many times as she'd wanted to curse Potter's face off, at least she knew why he deserved it! This woman didn't know anything about them, and what she was saying to a child was reprehensible!

Between this, Petunia not having the decency to say a single word in defense like some part of her still hoped for, and the revelation the woman actually had puppies drowned, Harry magically blowing her up was a blessing.

Lily didn't burst out with cheers like the Marauders, or even resort to the other three muttering things they'd like to do to this woman instead of something so mild, Lily just let herself relax. She released a stream of breath, her shoulders slumped, and she scooped the little ball of folded skin that was the wrinkly puppy just finished nursing and tucked the babe into her neck. It was by far the most mild victory Harry had ever dished out on his own, but really, it was somehow the most satisfying.

Defeating Voldemort, twice, was still such a fantastical thing for something of their future, let alone a kid of hers to be doing it, she still just hadn't quite grasped that concept. This however was something she and her son could readily agree on, no one would be saying such atrocious things and getting away with it.

The news that Harry was leaving that house was a welcomed one, she couldn't stop herself from laughing in relief. Of all the times she'd escaped a very similar house and words from her sister, the idea of escape was one she knew intimately. As Frank warned the closing sentence was upon them, she regretfully set the little pup back down next to its mother and watched Pettigrew finally do the same.

#Reading the books #Harry Potter #fanfiction #Marauders #Wolfstar #Jilly #Frank Longbottom #Alice Smith #Regulus Black #Peter Pettigrew #Lily Evans #Remus Lupin #Sirius Black #James Potter

[keenress]

Dreaming of you...

The first day in the office with Ressler was tensed, and as his recruit she felt like all eyes were on her, this case they were working on had so many twists and turns, she felt she could not keep up with.

They started early in the morning, as he picked her up from the University to take her to the Blacksite. They walked in his office where they were supposed to do all the work 

,,I analysed all footages and evidence you gave me from the last scene..I know the place was clean, I would say way too clean, so I thought, maybe, I could compare evidence from the previous potential crime scenes...5 hotel rooms so far

,,What have you got in mind?

,,Well they all have something in common

,,What is that?

,,A bathroom, a bathtub(not a shower room)

,,Yes...

,,I know it sounds crazy, but what if all our bodies left the room through the sewage system?

,,To do that you need to first dissolve the bodies

,, Yes, I believe as we never thought of this, we should definitely check it out, it’s worth giving it a try

,,Good work, Keen

Then Liz saw Ressler taking a call, he mentioned something about taking out the bathtub for the last crime scene and check any possible traces of chemical substances, other than cleaning ones, on the drains

He then came closer to her and watched together trough all the evidence they had to find some more supportive information to back this new lead up.

[..she found his scent distracting, as she found herself closer to him and she was no expert , but generally a perfume can turn you on or off...and his, his was making her imagining things..’’his skin must smell really good with that scent on, imagine wearing his shirt on my naked body, being wrapped in that scent of his, or waking up next to him as he is wearing nothing, but that smell in a set of cold bed sheets]

When he was teaching at the University she always thought there were flames and sparks between the two of them, and ever since, her imagination would lit up in his presence...

Today she was slipping down on this imagination lane again, when suddenly awaken by a loud phone call.

He had to be somewhere, him and her partner investigating this drug dealer that was related to this new case they were working on, who had been released from prison because the witness that was suppose to turn him in had vanished mysteriously from Court in that same day.

 They had a lead about an operation under the name of Lorca, guns and drugs involved, plus fake passport to leave the country, so this was their only chance to drain him for some intel over his protected killer

,,Would you like to come with us?

,, Yeah, sure thing

,, You will have to put your Kevlar vest on, I ll help you with that!

[..first time touching her, as he was adjusting the vest, made her body shiver, his fingers were sending electric shocks throughout her entire body, making her heart skip a beat]..

As they stepped into the Warehouse, where the exchange was due to happen he asked her to stay behind him at all times. The SWAT team was in place with Ressler coordinating everybody in their position

 The next thing she knew, all Hell broke lose, and everybody was firing at everybody. This was her first raw field experience that she had, and she felt scared and unprotected

Her and Ressler were hiding behind a van when the bullets started flying towards them, literally drawing wholes into it like they were shooting at a piece of cardboard.

,,Get down, get down, Ressler shouted, so she threw herself on the floor. The next thing she saw was him throwing himself over her, grabbing her hands, and shielding her entire body with his, while sheltered glass and bullets were falling all over him.

His mouth was over her forehead , his lips touching it , his arms positioned on both sides protecting her head and his body was pressing hard over her. She felt breathless, but safe, a man she didn t know for long was protecting her with the cost of his own life.

Then the bullets stopped and she could hear  ,, on your knees, arms behind you head, now..the SWAT  team had taken over the warehouse and arrested the shooters.

She was in shock, the sound of the glass and bullets made her ears hurt and the smell made her dizzy . Ressler was still on top of her and slowly started to move his arms and body.

,,Are you ok, Keen talk to me, please, he sounded desperate..

His hands started touching her for injuries and blood, and as she managed to lift her heard up, he grabbed her face gently , but with desperate looks in his eyes.

,, I am ok, are you? she said with a shocked expression on her face.

Next she found herself in the sweet embrace of his arms and he was squeezing her like he was afraid of losing her

That’s how his partner found them both safe in each other’ s arms

,,That was so stupid of me to drag you into this without protection, you could have been killed, I am so sorry..

,,Yeah , but I didn t, because you protected me

,,Still, you could have...[ she could read the pain into his eyes]

,,I didn t, I m here, I am safe because of you

HALF HOUR later

Cooper ,,Agent Ressler, a word...

 ,, What the hell were you doing? How could you take a recruit from the Academy with you in the middle of the disaster  that happened today. You broke all protocols, you could have had her killed and yourself too

 ,,I know, I am sorry Sir, it will never happen again

 ,,Sure as hell it won’t or I ll put you up for suspension...DISMISSED

He went back to her in the ambulance to check her out again

,, At least we got Lorca

,, Yes , but we nearly paid a bigger prize for it

,, It was worth it, Liz said

[..to me the only thing worthy today, he thought, was being able to feel you even under such horrendous circumstances being able to feel your skin on my lips, your perfume, your curves, that I have touched in the most intimate moments of my imagination, trapped under my roughness , you in my arms, SAFE, that is my victory for today].He said nothing, but his eyes were telling stories, stories of what he felt and what he was feeling for her.

He drove her home that night, after first going by the office to grab her stuff. As he parked in front of her apartment, he asked her again if she doesn t want to go to the hospital to get herself checked

,, I will come with you

 ,,No I am fine, I just want to go to bed, it has been a long day

,,Good night, he said!

 ,,Good night! 

That night he dreamt of her, everything was so real, so genuine.. the clock was showing 9 o clock and the Post Office was slowly turning silent, Cooper was off and Samar and Aram left half an hour ago. He was sitting in his office, alone, studying some cases when she stormed in his office. Her looks was a combination of office and sexy, a black pencil dress embracing her curves perfectly with a long split on her left leg showing off a pair of black tights wrapping her fit, sexy pair of legs .She was also wearing a pair of high heels black shoes and a vibrant, seductive red lipstick, to match her daring outfit.. her hair was loose... 

She stormed in without saying a word and pinned him in his chair with her longing looks. She came closer, pushing the chair back in the corner of the office.. slowly she started lifting her dress up, not enough to see her panties, but enough to make him swallow hard and throw her thirsty looks, She was ready to dominate him,so she parted her legs a little as she climbed over him to sit in his lap. Her legs wrapped in those beautiful black tights were incredible. He touched them looking at them first, then shifted his eyes to meet hers

She took his hand and started caressing her body , starting from her lips, going down on her neck,  then mischievously held his hand longer before touching her breasts 

He swallowed hard and bite his lower li which made her wanting to kiss him badly.. so she leaned over and sensually grabbed his chin and she clenched his top lip with her teeth and then his bottom.. he tried to pull her close to force her into a deep kiss, but she wouldn t take it, so she drew back

She carried on seducing him while she was touching herself with his hand on every curve of her body.. she carried on and on, while looking at him, his hands were on her legs feeling the heat of her body, as her blood was boiling in his veins

He tried to kiss her again, but she pushed him back, as she went to kiss and lick his neck, right there next to his ear, where his soft spot was.

Now she was getting closer to his mouth, wanting to reward him for letting her seduce him mercyless, boundryless with him not being able to do anything to her[..and the things he wanted to do to her..] The way he felt her burning lips getting closer and closer to his was the most seductive act he d ever experienced... she looked in his eyes first.. then her looks shifted to his lips devouring them 

Their lips were burning as their tongues met one trying to dominate the other, one of his hand was on her back pulling her closer to him , while the other was grabbing her neck so that he could feed himself with the passion that was only growing between them. Her tongue in his mouth was sending vibrations through his entire body , making it harder to keep himself under control while playing this game.

He wanted her out of that little dress of hers, and with that in mind he started unzipping it.. his touch was electric, making her kissing him deeper while rubbing her body of his. He took the top part of her dress off and with gentle moves he started touching her skin up and down, up and down....

He then broke away from their kiss and effortlessly lifted her up forcing her to sit up face against the wall, lifting her hands up, one hand holding her hands upon the wall so she can t move them, while the other shifted her hair on one side so he can devour her neck fully with his tongue .He positioned himself closer to her and he could feel her bottom hitting his joints hard, so now he freed his hand so that he can explore again , this time her naked breasts, moving swiftly down there, in her intimacy, making her curve her back and bottom even harder against him

...It was so erotic and intense switching the poles so that the dominant became the dominated..she rested her head back lying it on his shoulder

,,Please...I beg....she said

,,Tell me....he said

Before she could say anything, the fine blurs of reality were intruding the intimacy of his dreams..and he was trying to chase the away so that he could.. he could....but his  consciousness was stronger and he woke up with the sun rays caressing his face, all flushed, wet and hard with an immense desire to have her

#keenler #nomoreselfdoubtingishere #fanfictionkeenler #ilovekeenlerfans #keenlerthirsty

[tvcoroner]

Kara Deserves Better...Than This Fandom (Huge Rant)

I have a question to ask people.

Why the hell are you freaking out about William so much? You have no fucking clue where this is going to lead. Do you remember when you guys lost your shit for WEEKS after William asked her out the first time and the result was Kara telling him she wasn’t interested?

Sure, she only did that because Lena has made her feel so insecure about keeping her secret as Supergirl that she was scared to open up, but you idiots lost your minds for weeks for NOTHING.

And your dislike for William does not match his oh so horrendous crime of being mean to her a few times at the start of the season. Like seriously, book-fucking-hoo. Lena literally manipulated Kara and then encased her with kryptonite, a substance that is AGONIZING to her, and you people excused that away in an instant. William isn’t kind for a little while? Well, he’s canceled now!

But to me, the most ridiculous part is that so many of you are taking this like it’s a personal insult to you. Like this is only happening to give you the middle finger.

Get the fuck over yourself, you self-absorbed baby. This might come as a surprise, but decisions are made on this show without anyone giving a fuck what you think or feel, and I honestly don’t blame them for that after the years of literal bullying you have sent their way.

You cannot treat people like shit and then expect to get what you want, and treating people like shit has been your primary method of expressing yourself almost the entire run of the show.

If seeing Kara being happy is such a problem for you because she’s not happy in the exact way or for the exact reasons you want her to be happy, then I’m sorry to report the obvious here, but you don’t give a fuck about Kara.

I have seen way too many of you throw her under the bus at every opportunity. This season alone has shown more than any previous that so many of you people care more about what Kara can represent for you than the person she is or what she does.

I mean, the Supercorp fandom can barely manage to give a damn about Kara anymore. For a long time now Supercorp has been about Lena, and what’s good for Kara is secondary to that, if even that.

This season has just shown time and again how little respect so many of you have for Kara. Most of the time it’s because of poor baby Lena, so misunderstood with her mind control and human experimentation and torturing Kara with kryptonite.

I watch a lot of reaction channels. Probably too many. While some were sympathetic towards Kara when she told Lena enough is enough, a lot of them got angry at Kara for daring to call Lena out on her bullshit. I mean, when Kara said if Lena continues to act like a villain then she will be treated like one, a large chunk of them just turned on Kara for daring to hold their Queen accountable for her shitty actions.

Call me crazy, but I want something good for Kara. I want her to focus on herself and what she wants. If what she wants is William then I’m behind her completely, if she discovers she wants something completely different then I’m still right there with her.

This show is called Supergirl, not Lena Luthor, but so many of you treat Kara like her entire existence is there to fit whatever agenda you’re trying to push, and every single time she operates outside of your fantasies you tear her down.

And William hasn’t done nearly enough to earn so much hostility. For the vast majority of his screentime this whole season he has been a pretty good guy, and his reasons for keeping Kara at a distance at first made a lot of sense. People reaching to him being mean a few times as an excuse to give him shit are so laser-focused on such a minor, stupid thing that they use it to define his entire character.

Meanwhile, Lena can get away with FAR worse shit and have people in this fandom practically bend over backward trying to justify it. It’s extremely disingenuous.

This fandom’s constant need to demonize every male character on this show that even gets close to Lena or Kara is disturbing. I mean, they were still giving James Olsen shit for not trusting Lena for one episode in season 2. They were so desperate to demonize him that they completely ignored every single time he had her back after that, including taking a fucking bullet for her. And unlike Kara, he can actually be killed by one, so it’s much more significant when he does it.

You know what? I’m fairly indifferent to the growing relationship between Kara and William. 99% of my focus is on Kara doing something good for herself. That may change with time, because, and for some reason a lot of idiots are missing this very simple fact, Kara and William are not a couple yet. They’re going to see where this takes them. They’re not in a committed relationship, they haven’t done anything even remotely intimate yet.

You people keep acting like this is being rushed but nothing has happened yet. Literally nothing has been rushed. We’re 14 episodes into this season and they only just got to the “Let’s go on a date and see what happens” phase.

Just for the record, every single relationship on this has happened faster than Kara and William. Is Maggie and Alex’s relationship now less significant because it happened a lot faster? How about Kara and Mon-El? Alex and Kelly? Lena and James? Brainy and Nia?

The show rushes every relationship out there, and Kara and William are the least rushed, so using that as yet more ammo against them is kinda stupid.

I am just...so tired of this fandom’s selective memory and outrage. So many of you get almost psychotically angry at the dumbest shit. You treat people like garbage but still expect to get what you want. You bully actors, you misread things intentionally and then get angry when the show exists in spite of the fantasy you built up, and you have double standards for EVERYTHING.

I mean come on, Lena can experiment on human beings and you will excuse her for it, but if someone acts a little mean, and by sheer coincidence, he happens to be a man, you will tear him down for that for YEARS. But Lena Luthor gets a free pass on everything.

You know what, after watching this fandom go to shit over the last five years, I absolutely understand why most of the actors on this show barely interact with anyone anymore. I can understand why the writers ignore you at every turn. I can understand why Melissa and Chris turned off comments for both their engagement and baby announcements.

And just because it’s not plainly obvious to the professionally offended, if you don’t participate in this toxic behavior then I’m not talking about you anywhere in this. In a world where people didn’t look for excuses to be offended by people, I wouldn’t need to make this obvious statement, but if I don’t put down a disclaimer somewhere I will get one of those stupid comments about how I’m unfairly judging those who don’t do any of this. This entire fucking rant is one big qualifier, genius. If you don’t fit in then I’m obviously not talking about you.

#supergirl #kara danvers #kara zor el #william dey #mon-el #james olsen

[wanderlust-and-road-dust]

F’nor Azril

THE BASICS ––– –

Name: F’nor Azril. Formerly Fonn Byquist, but due to her leaving her people she’s adopted the Mi’qote mechanic of naming, not initially understanding the apostrophes in their names. She’s stuck with it though, as she finds bears to be a good representation of her solitary wanderings and stout self reliance.

Age: Seasons come and seasons go, so why count them? 87

Birthday: 30th Sun of the 5th Umbral Moon

Race: Viera, Rava.

Gender: Trans woman.

Sexuality: Pansexual.

Marital Status: Single.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE ––– –

Hair: A burnished copper that abruptly shifts to black tips. Recently shorn short after an incident with an ink pot, though she kept one long braid on her right side that she fiddles with on occasion. Usually brushing the end against her lips and chin as she’s thinking.

Eyes: Left eye Cactuar green. Right eye a startling vibrant purple, which she’s blind in. Usually keeps her right eye covered with a patch, or wears glasses to aid her ailing eyesight.

Height: 5 fulms, 10 ilms.

Build: Wirey, in a word. She’d look scrawny if not for lean corded muscles defining her arms and legs. F’nor’s physique is reminiscent of tough roots. Long hours of traveling by foot the length and breadth of the map, she’s in peak physical condition.  

Distinguishing Marks: A smattering of freckles across her cheeks and the oddity of her purple right eye. Beyond which F’nor is relatively free of any other distinguishing features. Perhaps ink smudges on her face, ink stained finger tips from absentminded quill work. Or a myriad of minor nicks and scrapes from hard travel, but they quickly heal and fade in due time.

Common Appearance:  Almost always in her orange poncho and traveling moccasins, she stands out like a sore thumb. Though often her poncho isn’t quite as flashy due in no small part to the large quantity of road dust she accumulates on her wandering.  Sometimes wearing an eye patch, sometimes wearing glasses, sometimes she just forgets either until reminded. An idle stance of crossed arms and bemused curiosity finish her ensemble.

PERSONAL ––– –

Profession: Vagabond story hoarder, cartographer and amateur botanist.

Hobbies Reading, collecting and sampling tea, retrieving odd little artefacts. 

Languages: Common, Vieran

Residence: Wherever she happens to find herself in the evening. Sometimes a travelers lodge, other times at a campfire by herself.

Birthplace: An out of the way corner of the Golmore Jungle.

Religion: Better to acknowledge the gods than to deny or doubt they exist.

Patron God: Azeyma, though she honestly falls under the patronage of Oschon more so.

Fears: Large crowds of people, confinement, spiders.

RELATIONSHIPS ––– -

Spouse: None

Children: None

Parents: As a Viera who has left the fold, F’nor is dead to her parents

Siblings: None

Other: None

Pets: A toad named Hopalong and her trusty chocobo Farstrider.

TRAITS ––– -

Extroverted / In Between / Introverted

Disorganized / In Between / Organized

Close Minded / In Between / Open Minded

Calm / In Between / Anxious

Disagreeable / In Between / Agreeable

Cautious / In Between / Reckless (extremely so)

Patient / In Between /  Impatient

Outspoken / In Between / Reserved

Leader (unless someone has a better plan or is more qualified) / In Between / Follower

Empathetic / In Between / Apathetic

Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic

Traditional / In Between / Modern

Hard-working / In Between / Lazy

Cultured / In Between (rather informal and not much for the strictures of civilized societal hierarchy and the like) / Uncultured

Loyal (extremely so) / In Between / Disloyal

Faithful / In Between (this one is more to do with faith as in belief than faith as in loyalty) / Unfaithful

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION ––– –

Smoking Habit: Sometimes after a hard days travel a pipe of weed is nice to unwind with, especially by a campfire with a good book.

Drugs: No particular habit for drugs.

Alcohol: Has a soft spot for harder spirits, particularly earthy and smokey flavored drinks. Like whisky (difference between Whisky and Whiskey is one without the E is Scotch and with the E is every other Whiskey besides Scottish Whisky. I don’t really know how that translates into game lore, but I’m sure there’s a distinction somewhere. There’s not an overly in depth dive into the alcohols brewed by the various races and regions. Or at least that I’m aware of)

RP HOOKS ––– –

Not all who wander are lost: F’nor likes to wander. To explore, to rove off from the beaten path and travel paths less traveled. The world is a wide and wild place dramatically different from the sweltering confines of the Golmore jungle. As such she can be found wandering the byways of Aldenard exploring ever outward from Limsa Lominsa. Currently her travels have taken her into the winter locked lands of Coerthas where she was not properly prepared for the cold and as such promptly turned back around to the Shroud of Gridania to better outfit herself for the horrendous cold. Though not one for staying in anyone one place long, who knows when she’ll move on to another portion of the world?

A message in a bottle? How curious... - A chance encounter of finding a stoppered bottle in a tree she was harvesting for mirror apples has piqued F’nor’s curiosity. Opening the bottle to reveal the contents to be a vague and crude map she’s avidly been tearing her way through every tree, bush and rock looking for more of these mysterious bottles. If you chance upon a madly muttering Viera diving head long into a bush or peering into every knothole on a tree, odds are good you’ve ran into F’nor. Treasure finding and the satisfaction of solving these vague scraps of parchment are one of her most favored past times. Not only does it set her off on a whirlwind adventure, usually on the spur of the moment, it usually has her go to places she’s never been. Truly a win win situation. If you have a map and are willing to share the journey with her, she’ll happily tag along for the journey alone. The trifles and baubles dug up might interest her, but she’ll happily abide by map owners claim for the rewards.

Tale as old as time - Besides seemingly wandering aimlessly and mapping her travels, F’nor’s rambling jaunts across hill and dale serve a greater purpose. Though the reason is equally vague as her meandering. She’s on the hunt for stories, folk tales, anecdotes and myths of the regions she roves through. If you’ve got some time and are willing to spin a yarn or two, F’nor’ll be more than happy to share her fire and company to listen to you.

Ramblin’ Woman  - Once primed to a subject matter, F’nor has a tendency to just... well... run at the mouth. Sometimes she’ll wax poetically. Other times she’ll just talk for what seems like hours. There’s no rhyme or reason to when she’ll set off like a chocobo in search of choice gysahl greens. Just prepare for a veritable deluge of talk about whatever topic has currently caught her fancy. That’s not to say some folks can’t get a word in edge wise, she’s attentive and will let whomever she’s bludgeoning with words have a chance to speak. She just fully intends to have her say first. At length. Much to many a persons dismay. Seemingly a rather quiet individual, she’ll often blindside a random stranger who just wanted to sit in peace and quiet by another seemingly quiet stranger. However if you’re up to the challenge of mincing words with the quirkily gregarious Viera, have at. She likes a good talk, particularly if it’s something she’s fascinated by. Truth be told, that can be just about anything. She’s an avid hoarder of information.

Absentminded Woolgatherer - Lost in thought, head in the clouds, feet off the ground. F’nor is likely off in her own little world thinking about who knows what. Caught in the rain without cloak or other rain protection, she’ll blithely wander around, gaze fixed inward as she plods on. Sometimes she’ll wander into an inn or market stall and blink in surprise and wonderment as to how she got to be where she is. Sometimes if she’s particularly caught up in her own thoughts she’ll run into you, your chocobo, that tree over there. She’ll bounce off random objects and reorient herself and go careening off until she runs into the next object in her path. Hells, she might even wander into a stream, cross it, and walk around with squelching boots without noticing what she’s done. She didn’t mean to startle you. Oh and if she doesn’t apologize, sorry. Thoughts in chaos and all that.

CONTACT INFORMATION and OOC NOTES ––– –

  ‘eyo and hello and hi and all that jazz, greetings etc. F’nor’s and old hat of mine that has been rattling around the byways for a long and long time. I’ve been role playing in a variety of different formats for... an astonishingly long time now that I think about it. Pen and Paper since I was twelve, other table top rpgs, video games and what not for a good going on twenty years now. Yes, that means I’m 32. Or turning 32 this year. I honestly stopped counting somewhere in my twenties. Honestly that’s just an excuse for me to say I forget regularly how old I am exactly. I’m in this community to have fun, to build wonderful stories. To revel in shared experience and craft truly remarkable things with you. So, why don’t you come and join me on this adventure? It’s a long road and best shared with good friends, good food and good drink.   Side note, I’m not really into ERP. Romance might happen, things develop organically. Might go the way of a pleasant night of shared company that gets a little more intimate. But I’m just flat out bad at it and even gets a bit tedious. There’s only so many ways one can write about sexual encounters before it gets repetitive. If that’s your thing, fine and good, just don’t try and drag me into it. Please and thank you.   You can find me here on tumblr on either this blog or my other inspiration blog @fnorazril. You can also get a hold of me on discord as well as Transdimensional Shambler#0179. Not to mention Balmung of FFXIV, though more often I’m on Mateus bumbling around chasing a courier.

#FFXIV #F'nor Azril #Character Hooks

[takaraphoenix]

I know sorta what's been happening with Voltron, my younger sister watches it and I don't care about being spoiled, but would you recommend it? (Like pretending I don't know.) I don't want to get emotionally invested in something not worth it, should I give it a shot or just not?

Uhm. Ah... I... *makes vague hand-gestures*

As of right now? No.

Come ask me again in a few months when the final season aired and I can give a definite verdict? Because right now, there might still be the chance that the final season puts a real nice bow on it and solves it all really well. Or that it completely ruins it.

But... The first two seasons? Really solid. Really good. Would have recommended without you even asking. Like. Seriously, went around telling everyone I know to watch this show.

And since season 3, there has been a very steady decline in quality, story-telling and character development.

There is also a lot of wasted space. Meaning filler episodes that were completely unnecessary and added nothing, not to the main plot nor giving side-plots to flesh out characters even though there are like 50% of the characters who still need fleshing out. Which is such a disturbingly bad writer-decision.

Latest thing, the gay-baiting (not calling it queerbaiting because... that’s something different, really. That’s straight characters acting a little intimate with each other and the fandom going wild even though official channels never confirm that it’s gay. This? This is official channels confirming something is gay and then not actually pulling through with the gay, making us expect actual representation just to have what constitutes as platonic friendship at best).

That’s been pissing me off horrendously and with how pissed I am currently, I could not in good faith recommend the show.

But like I said, there is one last season to be expected. And that can break it or make it. A good final season can really heighten the overall quality of a show, but a really bad final season can completely ruin what might have been a good show.

So, as of right now: Don’t waste your time.

It baited me by being the makers of Avatar (both of the cartoons) and knowing that, you’d expect spectacular redemption arcs and team-building and character development. The things I loved about the cartoons. But Voltron, while setting up with that very potential - a fun team of individual characters - very quickly settles into “This is the main character Keith. These are the second most important characters Shiro and Pidge. Oh, also Hunk and Lance are there somewhere too”. You... only... have a team of five and you’d think all five can be treated equally - you know, like they had been in Avatar. But they’re not and especially if you start watching it for the team, that’s pissing you off mighty.

I might change my opinion by the time the final season aired. Right now, all I see is that the quality of a show with really great potential has been dropping more and more the further the show went on and that’s just... not... the kind of thing I can recommend.

#Voltron Legendary Defender #DreamWorks #infinitesimal-thoughts

[cocoarosalia]

Truth or Shot (LadyNoir)

Follow A Sister on AO3

“Chat, i don't know about this” Ladybug said eyeing the high end bottle of tequila between them and the makeshift spinner that was aimed right at her.

“What’s not to know” Chat Noir rebutted with his famous sly smile.

“Truth or shot?”

When Ladybug asked Chat to be her drinking partner this wasn’t even close to what she had in mind. And yet, she shouldn’t have expected anything less from his usual grandiose theatrics. Especially after her tearful cries to him for comfort.

And it was so stupid too. What did it matter that her boyfriend for the past 6 months suddenly just decided to up and ditch her for some skank with massive tits? Wasn’t her fault she wasn’t packing a pair of state fair, blue ribbon watermelons under her shirt. But even with that ladybug still found herself buying the biggest bottle of vodka her wallet could muster and crying to chat to drink with her until she forgot who she really was under the mask. He agreed but only on two conditions.

A) she let him buy the alcohol for the occasion (because according to him her choice was “insultingly cheap”)

B) that they drink it his way (“What’s the point in destroying bad thoughts if you can’t have a little fun”)

Had she have known that his way consisted of a russian roulette of shots and dirty black secrets she would’ve easily settled on just chugging it alone in her apartment until she passed out watching old cartoons. But that was just the effect Chat had on her. One teasing smile and a gaze into those way too sexy emerald eyes and she could follow him to the ends of the earth.

Which coincidentally happened to be at the bottom of a Don Julio bottle.

Ladybug eyed the clear bottle again. On the one hand she could just keep everything buried in the shadows and just drink to her stomach’s discontent. On the other hand was the fact that she knew she had rather loose lips once alcohol got involved. So the way she saw it it was either voluntary truth or involuntary spewing of information….

She’d rather be aware of her stupidness first-hand

“Alright kitty, what do you wanna know?”

God, she could feel her hands pricking with pins and needles as she awaited her dreaded fate. This was such a stupid idea and she knew it but she was desperate for mental escape. But what would he ask? Would he ask of her identity, her true feelings of him, something even worse? Her heart beat erratically as she stared down his alluringly green eyes. She steeled her nerves, prepared to deflect anything.

“Last tuesday when you said my new scarf looked dumb and then said you were kidding...did you actually mean that?”

Oh that’s right, this is chat we’re talking about...he’s about as deep as water poured on a glass counter

Ladybug groaned in a mix of relief and annoyance “Yes kitty I meant that. The scarf actually brought out your eyes quite nicely”

“Works for me!” He grinned with his usual boyish charm. Taking the tequila bottle by the neck he carefully poured himself a shot and tipped it back. She couldn’t contain her composure as she snorted at his face twisted in disgust.

“Now explain to me why YOU’RE the one drinking again?”

“Oh simple” he said casually “Refuse to answer, you drink. Decide to answer, I drink”

“So either way, one of us is getting smashed”

“Or both of us, depending on how the night goes”

Ladybug’s lips split into an eager smile. “Sounds fair to me” She took hold of the spinner and whipped it around “Now let’s see how far we can really go”

Unsurprisingly, the arrow landed on everyone’s favorite feline. She looked at his face for any kind of discomfort but it appeared his poker face was air tight as he balanced his shot glass on the tip of his nose.

“Well kitty?” she said, leaning back into her chair atop a cafe roof “Pick your poison”

“Ooo sexy choice of words my lady” Chat replied, still relaxed in his own chair “But for the sake of fun i’ll choose truth”

Ladybug drummed her fingers along her chin, humming absently while she thought about her question. When it finally hit her, her eager smile slid into something more devious and rather mischievous.

“What was the last thing you searched on your phone”

A flurry of giggles spilled from her lips as she watched Chat nearly fall out of his chair and directly onto his poor kitty cat ears.

“W-why do you wanna know that?” He demanded

She smirked at his clear discomfort “Because either I get to learn about all those naughty fanfics that I KNOW you read on your off time OR I get to see you squirm and down another shot”

Ladybug was really starting to turn her opinion around on this whole game of his since it meant watching the inner machinations of her poor kitty’s mind (which of course amounted to nothing more than a knocked over milk carton). Chat wracked his brain endlessly for some type of loophole out of this, but, sadly he could find none and had to concede defeat.

He straightened out his back and cleared his throat. Ladybug rolled her eyes, all of this for a silly secret. What a ham.

“The last thing I looked at were porn fics about us”

She was stunned silent. She didn’t think he’d actually admit it! She moved to blindly just pour herself a shot but then paused. What if he was lying? Even better, if he was telling the truth...just how filthy were these fics of his?

“I’d like your phone please minou” She said plainly

Chat’s eyes were as wide as the twinkling moon above them “FOR WHAT!? I told the truth”

Ladybug clicked her teeth disapprovingly “Now kitty, such an outlandish answer demands proof don’t you think?”

“Not really, no”

she swooped up his phone into her hands before he could even have time to blink  “Isn’t that unfortunate for you then”

She fully expected for him to be lying, covering up something more embarrassing under something lewd and outrageous

Oh how she only wished

Pages upon pages, bookmarks beyond bookmarks of various levels of smut were plastered along his phone screen. And the worse part was that it ranged! One minute she could be glancing over a sweet intimate peace on them revealing themselves to one another and in a heartwarming flurry of emotions they would pour out their love in a beautiful show of trust and acceptance….

And the next she’s reading one where Chat has her strung up in a hotel room with a vibrator shoved up between her legs while he’s smacking her ass and she’s calling him sir and begging for more

Suffice it to say the cat was well out of its bag

Ladybug gently put the phone down with her face matching well to her suit and was instantly met with both shot glasses filled to the brim being pushed her way. She glanced up at him, considering protesting but his reply left her with nothing to combat against

“One is for me telling the truth. The other is for putting me through that humiliation”

She sighed and bravely downed both shots, the plan was to get wasted after all

Shortly after that little fiasco the pair fell into something of a rhythm. They asked about each other’s lives and families, experiences and regrets and within about 3 shots each they were pretty fucking comfortable with one another.

“Did your parents ever give you the birds and bees talk?”

“My father? Not a chance in hell. The man tossed me a ‘my body and me’ book and never looked back. Have you ever, you know, ‘walked in’ on your parents?”

“I so supremely do NOT want to relive that trauma (I still will never look at marshmallows the same ever again) so I move to drink.”

“Booo lame ladybug”

“Oh shut up you weren’t there in the fall of my 11th year”

“Was it really that bad-”

“YES IT WAS THAT BAD NOW LET ME DESTROY THE MEMORIES IN ALCOHOL”

It was about 4 more shots in and the realization that, yes, Ladybug has had a wardrobe malfunction once before (AND ON THE ONE DAY HE HAD TO TAKE OFF FOR OTHER WORK) that she began to finally feel all the booze hit her system. Suddenly the space around her began to feel hazy and warm while her suit felt itchy and too tight. Her glazed eyes peered over at chat gulping down another shot. And then, she had that thought. The kind of thought that only borderline drunks and rabid fangirls has.

Chat was stupidly attractive

Ok, obviously she’d never say he was bad looking at all but he was a FAR cry from what he used to look like when they were just plucky teenagers trying to figure out what the hell a hormone even was. He used to be nothing but skin and bone, Lithe, lanky, and in much need of a well cooked homemade meal. Not to mention his speech wasn’t much better with his sizeable collection of horrendous puns and white knight way of “courting” her. It was cute and all, maybe even charming sometimes, but she never felt anything more than a fluttering crush that would peter out under the immense weight of her puppy love crush on Adrien Agreste.

But somewhere in between their usherance into adulthood and agreeing that fucking during work time would NOT be the best use of their time, Chat decided to get all….stimulating.

I mean just a heads up that he would run off and be remodeled into the son of Adonis himself would’ve been appreciated. He grew to a dizzying 6”3 seemingly overnight, towering over her tiny frame and taking an annoying amount of pleasure from their height difference. He grew his hair out longer and was apparently hitting the gym EVERY. FUCKING. DAY cause while he wasn’t a beef cake he definitely was not the one you’d wanna fuck with in a bar fight

But on a rooftop with all her inhibitors drowned in a sea of Don Julio?

She’d fuck with him. Ohhhh She’d fuck with him goooooood.

Ladybug suddenly stood up from her seat and slowly raked her eyes over Chat’s sculpted body. He looked at her with a confused expression. ‘He has no idea, does he?’ She mused ‘That makes this even more fun’.

It was as if her body was running completely on autopilot, operating on nothing but blind desire. She sauntered her way to the other side of the table, her hips swaying to an almost exaggerated extent. She could tell that Chat was getting antsy now, his tail flicking around nervously. She was getting way too close for someone not saying a word.

So when she just plopped herself onto his lap and wrapped her arms possessively around his neck it was like the air was being knocked clean out of him.

“W-woah there cowgirl!” He sputtered nervously “I think your seat is on the other side of that table over there”

Ladybug ignored him, much to his dismay. She just pressed her body in closer, the smell of the alcohol seeping from her lips. It left his mind empty for a moment. Normally the smell of alcohol made him feel a little nauseous but with it being mixed with her cherry gum that she must’ve been chewing earlier it left him with a all too familiar tingle sitting at the meeting of his legs. She really needed to hop off him...preferably sooner rather than later.

She lifted her head from the cook of his neck and looked up at him. Damn, she was even cuter and sexier up close. Age clearly did wonders for his favorite bug. Her face still had its usual plush cheeks, dotted with freckled that looked like stars dancing across her face. And she even stayed pretty much the same height (to which he will never get over since it meant he could plop his head atop hers which, come on, who wouldn’t). But she must’ve sold her first born to Aphrodite cause when they met she was as thin as paper with the non-existent curves to match.

But now?

Now, she apparently just decided to have the body of a valley with abs of military grade steel and an ass that just refuses to quit (that he would honestly murder for). She was all the woman he could dream and drool for, powerful and athletic but still quite huggable after a bad day

And let him reiterate...she REALLY needs to hop off him

“Kitty” She sang sweetly in his ear “Let’s keep drinking”

Chat laughed nervously “I would say sure but first you’d need to be off of my lap for me to reach it and second I think you’ve had just about enough liquid courage in your system.”

She puffed out her cheeks defiantly. “Bullshit” She slurred out “I can get it my damn self! Just stay right here”

…….

“Oh this isn’t even fair”

Ladybug sat up on her knees, still nested comfortably on top of his legs and stretched herself backward to grab the bottle off the table. He had to hold on to her lower back with both hands just to keep her from falling off. Chat suddenly got a full open view of her smooth plane of stomach, delicately sculpted abs and soft peaks of breasts.

His mouth felt horribly dry, and there was really only one way he wanted to quench it

“Hah! Told you I could do it!” She exclaimed when she sat back up. Ladybug was a giggling mess, but not entirely at random. She knew what she was doing and she knew EXACTLY how it was affecting her favorite feline (These suits are obscenely thin). But she didn’t care. Chat wasn’t kidding about that liquid courage thing either, she felt like she could do anything her little heart desired. And unfortunately for his self-control that meant him.

“Congrats buginette but that still doesn’t change the fact that-”

“Chaton” She interrupted, the booze lightly clutched in her hand “Where do you go when we don’t patrol together”

He initially thought she was joking, teasing him about being unfaithful or something. Her eyes spoke to him differently though. There was a kind of mirth behind her eyes, a playfulness that gave him a feeling of high alert. This was still a game to her. But to what end? He hadn’t the slightest clue.

He attempted to laugh it off “Don’t tell me you think i’m swaying my tail for another superhero. I’m a one cat woman, Ladybug. Plus you could easily snap me in half over your knee so I’d rather not cheat on you”

He petted her head softly. If he could just lull her into passing out on his chest then he can just drop her off at her apartment and deal with his own biological problem in the comfort of his own apartment with some well written smut (Satisfaction Brought It Back, here he comes!). But Ladybug wasn’t giving in that easy.

She shook off his warm hand and started to giggle drunkenly “Someone’s a liar~” She cooed “That means that it’s BOTTOM’S UP KITTY CAT!”

Chat suddenly had the tequila bottle forced up against his lips. He swallowed down two big gulps of the burning liquid and spat out the rest. Ladybug laughed almost maniacally at his predicament.

“Christ that burns” Chat said after catching his breath “And are you insane? I’m not lying!”

Her laughing dyed down to a light chuckle “That’s not what that cute baker girl told me~”

The color that once painted his face was dyed a complete white. There’s no way she knew. He always waited at least 5 minutes before approaching her apartment. She’s just crazy! Yea...she was just being a crazy, deluded drunk…

Right?

Her lips were just a hair’s breadth away from his ear “From what I hear, you’ve been visiting that Marinette girl eeeevery night when you’re not with me”

“A-and what about you” He said defensively “It’s not like you’ve been able to keep your hands to yourself around that model Adrien….A-at least from what I’ve heard anyway”

Honestly he couldn’t care less that she was more into him as a civilian than a hero. As time wore on and they got older he realized that if she liked him one way then chances were that she’d like him the other way too. He was honestly just being a pussy about the whole thing but figured that he’d wait until she was ready. Until then he had no problem playing her mystery lover that she could visit in the dead of night. His window will always be open for her.

Ladybug hummed in agreement “Hmm that is true I do enjoy rocking his little model world whenever I can”

‘I know she’s talking about me but that salt doesn’t burn any less’

“But the way I see it” Her eyes darkened with a predatory hunger “He’s not here right now, is he?”

Chat felt like he was having an out of body experience. Ladybug, his partner in justice, woman of his heart and subsequent wet dreams was currently smacking her cherry alcohol tasting lips to his. It was all he had ever wished for in the dead of night. He had reached his nirvana!

….until his stupid conscious had to come kicking him in his leather bound tail

He let out a small whimper of regret. He could feel Ladybug just starting to poke her tongue through his lips right before he took hold of her face. He pulled her away and caught his breath. The look in her eyes set his whole body on fire, eyes foggy with wanton desire and lips tinted pink with what little kissing she could get in. Fuck, he wasn’t drunk enough for this!

“Look,” He said reluctantly “I want this, sweet merciful christ I want this so fucking bad it quite literally hurts to not have my tongue down your throat right now.” He sighed for what felt like the 15th time that night “But I am a gentleman first and I won’t take advantage of you like this. You’re drunk, possibly emotionally damaged as well, and it would honestly be scummy of me to prey on that just because I want to fuck you into the morning light. I’m taking you home, you’re gonna go to bed and we’re gonna forget any of this even happened. Plus, who knows, you might just reconcile with your ex or some sappy shit like that”

“Well that’s fucking stupid”

Huh?

Ladybug honestly looked annoyed by his impassioned speech. She put the alcohol back onto the table and wrapped her arms back around Chat’s neck. She even wiggled her butt on his lap to punish him a little.

“I don’t give a ripe, flying fuck about that dickless fuckboy.”

Chat doesn’t think he’s ever heard her say fuck so many times in a sentence….it was honestly super hot

“As much as i’ve been fucking Adrien I know he has his sights on another. So I’m currently 0-2 on getting consistent dick and it’s making me want to beat the nearest criminal till he bleeds out”

‘This feels like a one-sided conversation and I genuinely do not care’

“Now you listen here, kitty cat. I like you. Hell, I think I might even love you. Certainly enough to have been wanting to fuck you since entering college. So are you gonna let me have what I want?”

‘This night could not possibly get any better!’

He leaned in to give her everything he had and more but paused ‘Oh wait. Yes it can!’

“One question before we wake up the neighborhood”

Ladybug clicked her tongue in irritation “What now?”

Chat laughed at her eagerness and nestled in her chest “What exactly was your ex’s name anyway?”

“What does that matter?” She was getting impatient, how cute

“Because,” Chat dropped his suit and looked up at her with a dangerously playful look in his eye “Famous model Adrien Agreste wants to make sure he calls him by the right name while i’m bragging about how good i’m giving it to you”

Ladybug didn’t even bother making a show out of dropping her suit as she grabbed the tequila one last time, taking a massive swig “His name was Liam”

Adrien took it from her hands and swallowed the rest

“Let’s see if we can make you forget that”

#miraculous ladybug #ladybug #chat noir #adrienette #LadyNoir #tales of ladybug and cat noir #marichat #marinette cheng #adrien agreste #MLB #MLFanfic #ml fandom #ml fanfic #ML #aged up #drinks #alcohol #flirtatious #drunk #drinking games

[westfallingforchaol]

I’m incredibly conscious now of the fact that I start every monthly wrap-up post with a generic line about how the year is flying by so fast, and that I can’t believe it’s X month already, even though it’s always true. So, I refuse to do that from here on out. But then… how do I start these posts? I’m in sort of a sticky situation.

July was a month of ups and downs in my personal life.

It started with a bang – quite literally. For the first time since I moved to the US, I was actually in New York City for July 4th, so my parents and I headed over to Manhattan to the East River to watch the legendary Macy’s fireworks show. Getting there a few hours early just to score a good spot was worth it – the show was absolutely beautiful, and I loved a nice outing with my family. My parents are always so busy with their business, and I’m almost always away for school, we rarely get to spend time together. The occasion was nice, if only for that.

I’m such a lazy person, you have no idea. I can spend days inside the house, watching TV, reading books, listening to music for days without a care in the world, so it’s surprising how many times I actually got off my ass and headed into the city this month. I live quite far away when I’m not dorm-ing for university. I need to take a train for forty-five minutes, then a thirty-minute ferry just to get into the city… then, the Manhattan travel is another story completely. But one day, I set aside everything and headed to the city to hang out with a friend. We saw The Big Sick, I broke my book-buying ban for just a little while and bought four books from the Strand, and then I saw Spiderman: Homecoming at the iMax in Lincoln Square. I honestly thought Spiderman: Homecoming wasn’t worth the hype, but I still enjoyed the film; The Big Sick was wonderful though.

I finally joined the gym, much to the glee of my parents, lol. I’ve been meaning to lose weight for a really long time now, but I hate exercising – especially if it’s the gym. I like to swim, but there aren’t any good pools around me, so the gym is always my last resort. I almost never want to go willingly. But hopefully I’ll start making a change to my lifestyle. It’s needed.

In memory of Chester Bennington

Perhaps the one thing that hit me hardest this summer was the lead singer of Linkin Park, Chester Bennington’s death. When I was nine years old, I had just lost my younger brother to cancer, and my parents and I moved across the world from London to Pakistan to start over, for all intents and purposes. I had suddenly become an only-child, my parents’ relationship was fraying at the edges with more fights than I could handle, and I found myself in a surrounding that was completely foreign to me. At that time, I relied almost entirely on music to get me through the day. And when Linkin Park’s music came into my life, suddenly I felt that there was someone in the world I could relate to.

Ever since, I’ve turned to the band’s music – in its always-evolving creativity – to get me through some of my hardest times. The band wasn’t something that was there for me during my childhood or teenage years – they were there for me now. They were the first celebrities I decided to properly fangirl over, to the point of watching backstage videos of them goofing around, having fun. I sat through hours and hours of concert footage, in complete awe. I’ve cried with them, I’ve laughed with them, I’ve hurt with them… and then, to suddenly get the news that the person who literally saved your life has passed away by taking his own? That broke me for a while.

I spent days mourning Chester. I cried for him, and I’ve never cried over a celebrity death before- it just hit me so deeply in a place that hadn’t hurt for a long time. I spent days beating myself up: 1) I didn’t even know him, so how in the world could this hit me so hard, and 2) if he really did save my life, I strangely felt guilty that I couldn’t do anything to ease the pain he was in. But then I realized a few things – Chester’s music touched me because he was open about what he was going through, and by sharing himself, his heart and soul, he helped a lot of people. This became apparent as millions of people around the world mourned him, and wrote thinkpieces about how much Chester meant to them in their teenage years. And I realized that I wasn’t alone in mourning someone I didn’t know; he wasn’t just a singer, just some celebrity. He was my support system in my darkest of times, and I had come to consider him a friend. For me, losing him was like losing a friend, and it hurt. A lot.

I’ll miss Chester a lot, because for a while there after his death, I felt lost. Back in that nine year-old body. A kid who doesn’t know what to do anymore. How are you supposed to live in a world where the person who saved your life ends up taking his own? But with the support of my friends, the community and Linkin Park and Chester themselves, I’ve learned that it’s okay to hurt. It’s strange, but ever since he passed, I’ve shared more about my insecurities with my friends than I ever had before, and I’m slowly starting to learn that it’s alright to be vulnerable with people. We’re all human beings who hurt and suffer, and it’s so important to tell people what you’re going through. Ultimately, I’ll always be thankful to him, and the band for making me who I am, for staying with me when there wasn’t a light to hold on to. I’ll be… always thankful. And I’ll always remember Chester, both for what he’s done for me, and for the kind, funny, wonderful, brave person he was.

But you’re all here for my reading wrap-up, so enough of this, and let’s get into the books!

I read a lot this month. And by a lot, I mean a LOT.

Back in 2014, there was a time when I was reading an average of one book every two days. Somewhere along the way, I lost my mojo – I blame Netflix and school, but after years, this month was an incredible one. I was reading constantly – in the form of audiobooks, backlist books, ARCs, whatever. I’m on a book-buying ban; I can only buy a new book after I have read five books that I already own, and in an effort to buy a book I’ve been looking forward to reading, I’ve been reading my owned books quicker. Does that make sense? So in total, I read a whopping sixteen books! A bunch of them were great reads –  some of them were bad eggs, so here’s the breakdown by the order in which I read them:

🌟🌟🌟🌟

🌟🌟🌟🌟 1/2

🌟🌟🌟

🌟🌟

EARTH BOY (SON OF DJINN #2) BY SAMI SHAH // 🌟🌟🌟🌟

Earth Boy was an incredible finale to an incredible duology full of djinn, chudails, infused with South Asian and Islamic lore, full to the brim with genuine scares, beautifully constructed writing, dark humor, and complicated social issues. I am so deeply in love with the world Sami Shah has crafted, with the characters in these two books, and the fierce adventures they go on. It’s genuinely dark and delicious with creatures and myths from some of my worst nightmares, but not only that, Sami Shah also ensures that he discusses relevant things like intolerance, poverty and terrorism while he’s telling a fast-paced, action-packed story. I cannot recommend this duology enough. It’s so underrated, so please check it out!

Triggers apply for: Torture, rape, child abuse, terrifying scenes, strong violence.

🌼

LITTLE & LION BY BRANDY COLBERT // 🌟🌟🌟🌟 1/2

Little & Lion was definitely my favorite book of the month. It’s a wholesome contemporary by definition of the concept with a strong focus on one girl’s relationship with her stepbrother, her family, her friends, her two crushes, and herself. It’s a book with a diverse cast of characters, tackling issues of racism, microaggressions, biphobia, mental health stigma, and figuring out who you are at an age where very little makes sense. It’s a book I will recommend for a long, long time. It releases on the 8th of this month, so please jump on it. Here’s my review.

Triggers apply for: Micro-aggressions for racism, biphobia, lesbophobic slurs, mental health stigma, anxiety, bipolar disorder.

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THE GENTLEMAN’S GUIDE TO VICE & VIRTUE BY MACKENZI LEE // 🌟🌟🌟

This was a book I was highly anticipating, and considering the hype monster around it, I was super excited to get to it. It’s a tome of a book with almost 600 pages with a diverse cast of characters on a road trip in eighteenth century Europe. There’s adventure, humor, romance, sex, scandal and some magic thrown in the mix, resulting in an extremely fast-paced, action-packed book that’s just incredibly fun to read. But despite enjoying it, I couldn’t bring myself to like the main character. He was too frat-boyish to me, and I understand he’s meant to be unlikable in order for the redemption to happen, but he says way too many things and does way too many things for me to be able to forgive him over the course of a hundred or so pages. Moreover, I felt the paranormal aspect fell flat, and the plot could’ve been more cohesive.

Triggers apply for: racism, homophobia, misogyny, ableism.

🌼

THE 57 BUS BY DASHKA SLATER // 🌟🌟

Like most autobiographies/biographies, I’m uncomfortable reviewing this… It zooms in on a hate crime committed against an agender teen named Sasha, who’s skirt was lit on fire by a young black teen one fateful bus ride. Sasha’s story is a real one – they went through the very real physical and emotional trauma of the crime, while Richard – the person who uncharacteristically committed the horrendous crime – underwent the punishment. Dashka Slater, through real interviews, police files, news clippings, etcetera, pieces together a deeply intimate look at the failings of the justice system, how institutionalized and systematic racism is ruining black youth’s lives, putting them at a severe disadvantage. However, Slater – a white woman – uses the N-word several times in the book… and… that word is not for a non-black person to use. To me, while the criminal justice system’s exposé was important, I also felt the book was unbalanced and the emphasis was placed on the person who committed the crime over the person who was the victim. This made me uncomfortable.

Triggers apply for: use of racist and nonbinary-phobic and transphobic slurs, misgendering, hate crime against an agender teen, institutionalized racism.

🌼

🌟🌟🌟🌟

🌟🌟🌟🌟

🌟

🌟1/2

THE COLDEST GIRL IN COLDTOWN BY HOLLY BLACK // 🌟🌟🌟🌟

This was the first Holly Black book I’ve ever read, and it definitely will not be the last. It was perfectly balanced with the right amount of romance, the right amount of action, and the perfect creep-factor. I’m not big on vampire novels, because most of them have already been done already… what’s new to be offered in the genre? But Holly Black makes them sexy and interesting again; I loved the characters, and I enjoyed the main character’s feisty yet compassionate, kind, vulnerable self too. I’m so excited to read other books by Black.

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GOODBYE DAYS BY JEFF ZENTNER // 🌟🌟🌟🌟

Goodbye Days was a book that took me by surprise; I became more invested in the characters than I thought I would, and I found myself mourning people that were dead before the book even began. I loved the concept of saying one final goodbye to people who’ve been taken way too soon, and I think Zentner deals with topics of grief, loss and guilt extremely well. I did, however, take issue with some of the unchallenged suicide/self-harm jokes in the book. You can read my full review here.

Triggers apply for: Racist micro-aggressions against a Filipina character, suicide/self-harm jokes, homophobic jokes (mostly challenged), grief, death.

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CARAVAL BY STEPHANIE GARBER // 🌟

The hype monster for Caraval was one of the biggest hype monsters I’ve ever seen in my four years of blogging. And because of this reason, this book was a massive let down. I hated the main characters, the sisterhood bond was nothing short of a joke, serious issues were used as plot devices without exploring potential psychological ramifications, and the writing was inconsistent and seemed try-hard. You can find my full review here.

Triggers apply for: Suicide, physical and emotional abuse by a parent, self-harm.

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THE LOVE INTEREST BY CALE DIETRICH // 🌟 1/2

This was probably one of the most disappointing books I’ve read this year – mainly because I’ve had my eye on it ever since it was announced! It sounded amazing: a satirical take on dystopians with a love triangle where the two dudes fall in love with each other? Bro, that sounds so cool. But the characters were extremely flat, to the point where the satire became laughable on its own. The writing wasn’t special, and it read more like a contemporary than a sci-fi dystopian. I DNF’d at 55%.

🌼

🌟🌟🌟

🌟🌟🌟🌟

🌟🌟🌟🌟

🌟🌟🌟

THAT THING WE CALL A HEART BY SHEBA KARIM // 🌟🌟🌟

As a Pakistani Muslim, I barely get any representation in YA lit, so imagine my glee when I found out that this was a book that offered me just that. And while Sheba Karim does a great deal of things right in this book, much of it fell flat. It deals with open, frank discussions about religion, Islamophobia in the West, expectations from hijabis, assigning statuses and labeling people as “representatives” of a certain identity. I adored the main character’s best friend to the point where I wanted the book to be about her, rather than Shabnam, the protagonist. I hated Shabnam, and that was the point but her development and redemption doesn’t come soon enough to save the novel. The romance was cringe-worthy and cheesy too.

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THERE’S SOMEONE INSIDE YOUR HOUSE BY STEPHANIE PERKINS // 🌟🌟🌟🌟

There’s Someone Inside Your House was a delight to read. I read it in a couple of sittings, flying through it with ferocious speed. It was so incredibly fun, reminiscent of slasher flicks set in small towns. Stephanie Perkins is a talented writer, of course, and it shows because she strikes the perfect balance between her trademark cutesy contemporary (because the romance in this is adorable), while also doing justice to the thrill and horror of the serial killer storyline. The cast was diverse as well, and I enjoyed the atmospheric quality of the entire book. It would honestly make a great TV show.

Triggers apply for: some transphobic language was in my ARC, but I know Perkins has since addressed and amended it for the final copy; racist microagressions against the main character who is biracial black/Native Hawaiian; graphic depictions of murder & gore.

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THE EPIC CRUSH OF GENIE LO BY F. C. YEE // 🌟🌟🌟🌟

This was a book everywhere on Twitter, and rightfully so. The Epic Crush of Genie Lo is an incredible urban-fantasy inspired by Chinese lore with a feisty, relatable main character who’s trying to handle her schoolwork, her future plans for college, a separated family, and a bodyshaming yet loving mother… and now you’re throwing demons in the mix?! It was adventurous, fast-paced, action-packed, and at times laugh-out-loud funny, while never losing its charm of being subtly relatable with characters that you grow to adore. My only real complaint was that I would’ve preferred more balance between the action and the slower moments, even if that meant the book had to be fifty or so pages longer.

🌼

SAINTS AND MISFITS BY S. K. ALI // 🌟🌟🌟

I set myself up for disappointment for this book, mainly because perhaps I was expecting a little too much. For one, there is so much this book does right. It’s true that Western media often only promotes Muslim books that fit their own version of what Islam should be like. Saints & Misfits is unapologetically Muslim, with a lovable, wonderful main character who takes pride in her culture, religion and is fully immersed in it, while never being defined by it either. I loved her relationship with her family and friends, and I loved seeing her develop over the course of the novel. But there was virtually very little plot, which will eventually be the downfall of the book for readers who enjoy a more cohesive storyline.

Triggers apply for: sexual assault.

🌼

🌟🌟

🌟🌟1/2

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🌟🌟🌟1/2

FINAL GIRLS BY RILEY SAGER // 🌟🌟

After the magic of There’s Someone Inside Your House, I was in a bit of a thriller/slasher kick, so I decided to pick up Final Girls – which was a book I was absolutely certain I was going to enjoy. But I was left severely disappointed. It was exciting and unputdownable, that’s for certain, but the characters were flat, and it was more mystery than thriller or horror. The mental illness representation was awful, and there were so many insensitive remarks thrown towards someone who committed suicide- it made me stomach turn. The ending was cheesy and cartoon villain-y. It was just… a disappointment.

Triggers apply for: Poor mental illness representation, suicide, violent murder.

🌼

THE SERPENT KING BY JEFF ZENTNER // 🌟🌟 1/2

After loving Goodbye Days by the same author earlier in the month, I decided to give his debut novel a go too, but it definitely wasn’t as good as his second. The Serpent King explores the South, religion, guilt and feeling stuck as well as I expected Zentner too, but most of the characters didn’t connect with me. Plus, I felt that Dill’s mental health was glossed over – more emphasis needed to be placed on therapy and recovery. I also didn’t feel a connection between the two people involved in the main romance at all. I’ll avoid saying more for risk of spoilers. There’s also a lot of racism and use of slurs in the book – these aren’t unchallenged, and they’re clearly not Zentner’s views but rather an authentic portrayal of the backwardness of many in the South, but I felt this could’ve been done without the use of slurs.

Triggers apply for: pedophilia, depression, religious intolerance, racism, homophobic slurs, grief, death.

🌼

WHEN I CAST YOUR SHADOW BY SARAH PORTER // 🌟

Listen… I wish I could tell you what this book was, but I genuinely have no clue. It was so… weird and disturbing. For starters, the characters were all one-dimensional, flat and pretentious even when they showed the slightest bit of personality. The book was messed up on so many levels with some incest going on, some statutory rape that is never properly addressed, a dude possessing his own brother and then sleeping with his girlfriend, like… what the fuck was this book, and how was half this stuff greenlit?! It’s safe to say that I despised it, and I honestly cannot believe I made it through the whole thing.

Triggers apply for: vague incest stuff, sexual assault, statutory rape, drug use, death by overdose, suicidal ideations, self-harm.

🌼

NEVER LET ME GO BY KAZUO ISHIGURO // 🌟🌟🌟 1/2

Never Let Me Go had been on my TBR for approximately 4459679456 years, and I finally got around to reading it – and I must say that I enjoyed it more than I thought it would. I couldn’t put it down; it was definitely a page-turner, and I enjoyed the personal way it was written. It felt like Kathy was sitting in front of me, telling me the story as it happened, rather than me reading it from the eyes of someone who lived it. I enjoyed the duplicity and multi-faceted personalities of the characters, and was invested in all their conflicts; however, for a large portion in the middle of the book during their time in the Cottage, I lost interest, and much of that interest never came back. Plus, the ending was super info-dumpey.

Triggers apply for: disturbing thematic content, grief, loss.

🌼

Apart from reading, I watch Netflix and listen to music.

I’ve been re-watching The Office over the summer, and I’m almost done with Season 6 now; if you haven’t looked into watching it, I highly suggest you do. The first season is a little dull, but it gets incredibly funny during the second season. I’ve been meaning to watch a new TV show before the summer officially ends, so if you have any suggestions, let me know.

Also, Game of Thrones is back! I loved the first three episodes, even though parts of them felt very fan-fictiony. I’m just so stoked that these storylines are continuing, and I’m getting to see some of my favorite characters be bad-ass. Just crossing my fingers and hoping for George R. R. Martin to hurry up with the sixth book.

As for music, I’ve decided that instead of individually linking videos like I do every month, I would construct a playlist of what I’ve been listening to for the month. So here’s my Spotify list of great songs you should maybe (definitely) check out, including some pop, some rock, some electronic. All over the place, like it goes.

So that’s it for my July wrap-up. Let me know if you’ve read any of the books mentioned above, and if you did, what’d you think of them? I hope July was a wonderful month for y’all, and I hope August is even better. As always – thanks for stopping by, and happy reading!

Monthly Recap: July ’17 I'm incredibly conscious now of the fact that I start every monthly wrap-up post with a generic line about how the year is flying by so fast, and that I can't believe it's X month already, even though it's always true.

#books #Monthly Recap #reading wrap up