#and this screenshot expressed the sentiment better

[blujayonthewing]

my mom: I never remember to do things on time I'm such a worthless piece of shit LMAO

my aunt:

#I didn't want to imply that this was part of the same conversation #but I know my mom HAS expressed this sentiment in the past in the context of christmas cards specifically lol #how to express to my mom that her self loathing hurts other people even when she presents it as 'a joke' #anyway I screenshotted that 'if being hard on yourself worked it would have worked by now' for fb specifically to vague my mom lol #like I GET it you wanna self-flagellate a little to express to people your Issues have affected that you do know it sucks and you feel bad #but at some point you're just bumming everyone out if not causing collateral damage #it's a tough balance and I'm not good at it either but my mom is like this about. everything. constantly. it's tiresome #if you wanna start being better you have GOT to love yourself. you have to try #about me #posts from facebook #irl frens #(and family)

[random-thought-depository]

Lately a lot of people on Tumblr have been dunking on a couple of articles written by young women talking about their choices to date and marry older men, or, well, really mostly people have been dunking on a couple of choice (cringe, distasteful to left/liberal sensibilities) screenshotted quotes from those articles (I confess I have not read the articles). People have explained the sentiments expressed in those quotes as thinly veiled tradcath baby factory propaganda or kink that these women aren't acknowledging as kink, but my hot take on reading them was to wonder if these women were the kind of neurodivergent people who got along a lot better with adults than with their peers when they were kids.

The specific screenshotted quotes people were dunking on very much felt like they might be what happens when an autistic girl who was proud of how much Daddy, the English teacher, and the hall monitor liked her when she was 13 (because she related to them better and they were frankly kinder to her than her modal peer and she hoped her closeness to them would earn her protection from peer abuse) becomes a twenty-something woman and takes that mindset and applies it to romance/sexuality in an androphilic direction.

Cause I was the boy version of a kid like that and I think if my life had taken a couple of different turns my twenty-something self might have married an older woman and written a cringe and mildly politically/morally suspect essay about how it's awesome and more boys my age should consider it. It'd have sounded different from the girl version, cause gender roles and relevant physical sex differences, but I could totally see it including stuff that might creep out or anger a lot of people here (e.g. suggesting that smart and intellectual older teenage and twenty-something boys might want to try dating older women because older women appreciate smart and intellectual men more, a position that version of me might have arrived at by extrapolating from a comparison of the way adults tended to react to his nerdy/bookish interests and curiosity about the world/cosmos when he was a teenager to the way his peers, very relevantly including the girls, tended to react to those traits when he was in middle school and high school).

#people are complicated #introspection #maybe autistic #gender #TBH this isn't even some “dark timeline” speculation or something #I think that hypothetical alternate version of me would probably be net better off and net less fucked up than actual me

[boots-with-the-fur-club]

Chapter 6 of the reincarnation fic!

@daboyau

@rottmnt-background-screenshots

The memory world falls away into the real one. April, and basically everyone else, has tears staining their faces. Most of them had stop holding hands. April was wiping her eyes with her free hand while allowing Donnie to still hold her other. His eyes land on the yellow hair ties she has to hold up her hair poofs.

“Haru….”

“Donnie? You talking to me?”

“Did you see it? Please tell me you saw it.”

“Saw it? I was it! I was…..her, at the end. You looked exactly like Tomo too!”

He lets go of her hand and nearly barrels into her with a hug. She smiles softly, wrapping her arms tight around him.

“Nerdy pals for life in this one….and twins in the last. How absurdly sentimental.”

“Ha, I get to be older than you in every life.”

“Ohmigosh….April is Haru?” Mikey gasps softly.

“That does makes a whole lotta sense, I don’t think we would have seen what happened ourselves if she wasn’t.” Raph pats his eyes dry with his mask.

“I felt so bad that Tomo didn’t get to see Haru again, but now he can! Or, Donnie already has! Isn’t that cool, Leo?…..Leo?” Mikey turns to him and is immediately concerned by his expression.

Leo is holding himself, gripping hard enough to leave marks on his arms. His gaze is at the floor and his attention probably wasn’t anywhere near the conversation.

Mikey gently reaches out to him only to be met with flinching.

“H-Huh? Oh, yeah, totally Miguel.”

“Are you okay?”

“I….I think dad was right.”

“What!?” Everyone else says at once.

Leo stands up.

“We shouldn’t keep trying to find these memories. If they’re coming through anyways, they can happen on their own.”

“But I’m here now, I can help you guys! That’s why you told me about it in the first place. What’s going on, Leo?” April stands up as well, followed suit by everyone else still on the floor.

“Before you kept it going because you wanted to see more of Aoi, now you’re against it?” Donnie raises an eye brow.

“Nothing’s going on, I just…..changed my mind! You guys can keep doing it if you want, but I won’t.” Leo turns his head away and waves his hand at them.

“You know you can talk to us, if seeing what happened to Haru was too much then you can say so. No one is going to judge you.” Mikey takes a step towards him.

Leo moves away, still not looking at him.

“Okay, it did freak me out, but it’s not only because of seeing her….you know….”

“Then….what is it?”

“I-It’s seeing it and knowing it was April.”

April’s eyes widen.

“Leo, you should have just said so. Of course you’re freaked out! After everything we’ve been through with the invasion, seeing that is a lot.”

He sighs.

“There’s….more. Something I never wanted to tell you guys because it just made me feel like crap and it’s going to make you all feel worse. We moved past so many things about the invasion already!”

“Whatever it is, we can take it. It’s obviously botherin ya. We moved past things because you learned to talk about them. You felt better after telling us last time, didn’t ya?” Raph says gently.

They can all see Leo tense up.

“Right…..?”

“It did, I swear! It’s not about what you said or did!….I realized….that we’re all eventually going to have to watch each other….die.”

A silence falls over everyone. Of course they had been aware of what having a past life meant, and they had just seen the end of April’s, but they never fully thought about what they were going to see at the end.

April didn’t know it was her before she saw what happened. It probably would have been a different experience in that case.

“When I was thinking about me getting hurt instead of anyone else, it wasn’t because I was being dumb during our Kraang invasion. It’s because in the future we didn’t stop them, you all….died.”

The silence takes on a very tense feel. It’s broken by Mikey.

“How….how do you know that….?”

“When Casey Jr. and I were trapped by rubble, he told me that everyone died fighting the Kraang. He wouldn’t tell me how it no matter how many times I asked. All I can do is guess. I thought I wanted to know, but now that I have a chance with our past lives, I don’t want it.”

“Casey used past tense when referring to me…..” Donnie comments quietly.

Mikey looks down at his arms, the faint marks of his rescue efforts still there.

“He told me I sent him back with my magic hands….if I sent him back, but I didn’t come with….”

Leo’s shoulders start shaking.

“The only thing I know is that I was….I was the last one….what if it happens again? I-I can’t do it! I can’t feel what it’s like!”

Raph quickly goes over to him, moving his face back to see that Leo is silently sobbing. He hugs him as tightly as he can. Leo clings to him, nearly falling apart in his arms. Raph does all he can to hold him together.

“I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry….I love you guys so much, you know that, right? P-Please tell me you know.”

“We always know! Even if you didn’t say it as much as you do, we know. We…knew. I know we did.” Mikey doesn’t expand on that last part, he didn’t need to.

Leo understood what he meant.

“I was scared too.” Donnie suddenly pipes up.

Leo lifts his head to look at him.

“Why?”

“Because the way Tomo felt about losing Haru was the same way I felt when you disappeared through that portal!”

“Donnie…..”

“You were gone! Half of me was gone! I thought I was going to have to live without you! You don’t want to be the last one alive!? Well that’s too bad! I don’t care what you want! Because what I want is to never have to imagine a future you’re not in!”

Leo stares at him in shock before slowly descending into very tearful chuckles.

“How could any of what I said possibly be funny to you right now?”

“We all keep doing this!”

“Doing what?”

“Saving and protecting. Raph jumped off a building to save me, and jumped on top of you to save you from a demon in armor! I sent myself off to another dimension to save you guys and the world. Gram-Gram barely knew us and she still gave everything to protect us over her own evil dad.”

“Leo, we already know that the Hamato weren’t real good at keeping themselves alive.” Raph looks at him with concern.

He lets go of him.

“That’s not want I mean! Think about how many times we haven’t died, or have died or almost died and just kept coming back. Even our whole family power thing is about saving each other with it. Hamato didn’t use it right, but we did. For every sacrifice we also stopped them. We turn into ghosts with the rest of our family when we go. We can see each other whenever we want even when we die! Even when we didn’t have the power, what did we do? We turned into who we are now! The other us is fighting tooth and nail to be back together through memories.”

Mikey’s eyes light up.

“Something about us being a family refuses to give up.”

“Exactly! We’re different. We aren’t martyrs for the world outside our family, we’re protectors for each other. We’ll always fight about who gets hurt, who leads, who tries to take the brunt of the hits, even if it’s all changed around! We don’t even have to be related at all.”

Raph smiles softly and pats Leo on the head.

“I think that’s the smartest thing you’ve ever said.”

Leo smiles back, looking at Donnie.

“Even if we have one future, or a bunch of other ones because of a weird time thing again, I’m always going to be around. So will you. So are all of us. We can be scared, who wouldn’t be? But what matters is that after we see whatever we see, we’re still going to be here. I’m here, Donnie. You don’t have to miss me, and….I don’t have to mourn you either….”

Donnie takes a deep breath, smiling very slightly as well.

“You are becoming just like Raph with these speeches.”

Leo gasps loudly, putting a hand on his plastron.

“That was not a hero speech!”

“Hey, what wrong with a hero speech?” Raph looks between them, slightly offended.

“It’s only wrong when you’re not the one giving them, big guy.” He pats his shoulder.

“Are you two sure you’re okay about everything though? That was a whole lotta emotions at once.” April questions.

“I am severely tired and want to nap but I also don’t want another memory popping up.” Donnie answers.

“Maybe they’ll take it easy on us because of what we just saw?” Mikey says hopefully.

“That’s if the memories have some kind of sentience.”

“The ninpo should a little, right?”

“Now this is exhausting. April, could you help us out while we nap? Maybe try to steer it to something….happier?” Leo smiles awkwardly.

“I’ll try, don’t know how much it’ll help though.”

“You’re still the best for trying.”

They decide to head to the movie room to fall asleep to some Jupiter Jim movies. Splinter wasn’t there for once. Blankets and pillows are brought in. April carefully watches over them as they begin to drop off to sleep, one by one, focusing on the attempt to ease the memories they might get.

The dream they end up having happens to pick up where the Tomo left off in the cabin. It seemed to be after the explanation of what happened to Haru judging by the expressions of everyone else.

Kosuke didn’t seem as surprised as the others though.

“Tomo, I’m….I’m sorry. I wouldn’t have asked you if I knew.” Aoi frowns.

Tomo stares hard at the ground.

“It’s a regret that’s going to follow me no matter what I do. Even if her blood on my hands has been washed away, they’re stained forever.”

“You’re not the only one with stained hands.”

“I don’t find lies comforting, Aoi.”

“I’m not about to lie!”

“Who’s blood is on your hands? You who rushes into everything without thinking if it means protecting this whole group!?”

“Tomo-“

“In the end it’s only going to be us with your blood on our hands with how you act!”

“Tomo please-“

“Can’t you allow yourself to be a coward just once!?”

There’s suddenly a loud smacking sound.

Tomo’s face is moved back slightly, still in too much momentary shock to realize what just happened.

Once the stinging sets in, he holds his cheek and looks at Tora who’s tearing up heavily and still has her hand outstretched.

“Don’t you ever say that to him again!”

“Tora! We didn’t tell him, he doesn’t know!” Aoi pulls her back.

She struggles against him.

“It doesn’t matter! He thinks he can just say whatever he wants because he’s in pain! Other people can be in pain too even if they don’t show it!”

“What are you even talking about!?” Tomo shouts.

Tora stares hard at Aoi.

“Please tell him. I can’t tell your story for you, but I can’t stand what he’s saying either.”

Aoi sighs.

“I did let myself be a coward, once. That’s why I’m alive and the people from my village….aren’t.”

“The whole village….?” Tomo’s eyes widen.

“We were all raised to be warriors from the moment we could pick up a weapon without falling over. There was always a chance the rival village could attack at any moment. When they did…..I hid. It was at night, it was dark and I was scared. I covered my ears to try to drown out the screams of my parents, my friends, my neighbors as they fought….but that wasn’t the worst part. That came when I finally, finally left my hiding place. It was quiet. No sound coming from anyone. If I had done something, anything, maybe someone else could have survived, but I was a coward. My life mattered more than the people I cared about. I stopped caring about my life after that, I was a mess, I didn’t want to do a single thing because of the guilt I felt.”

He takes a breath, smiling softly as he lets go of Tora, patting her head.

“Then, I met my precious little sister.”

#2018 tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt #fanfiction #rise fanfiction #rottmnt fanfiction #tmnt 2018 #rise leo #rottmnt michelangelo #tw implied death #death mention tw #sibling death tw #tw past death #angst #rottmnt raph #rottmnt april #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt leonardo #rottmnt raphael #rottmnt donatello #the colors of yesterday

[wilsons-journey]

An unexpected reunion

After days, weeks - month! Kying never expected to see this man again. But there he was. He just stood there.

A strange mix of feelings boiled up. And all he could think of, was to talk to him. But the moment he saw Valefor standing there, he just disapeared.

Uncertainty rose in him. Had he just imagined that? No! Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Valefor scurry away.

Without hesitation Kying followed - no Idea why he even does that or what he wanted. His heart ponded, still with the strange mix of emotions. He was excited to see him. At the same time he felt sick.

And the moment he caught up with the red furred Charr, his heart sank.

"Leave. Or I have to make you leave.", he growled. His expression hidden behind the grim mask. Eye piecing right through Kying. Threatening.

//He will finish what he didn't do that night.// Was the only thought that went through Kying's mind. But yet he said "I'm glad to see you again."

Valefor was silent and just took a step forward. "Go.", he grolwed further.

Kying didn't moved a bit. Still Val's harsh manner hit him visibly and he didn't know what to think about it. Valefor took another step toward him, hastening the other's retreat.

With that Kying woke up from his ridgid state. "Alright! Alright!! I'm going!!" Kying raised his hands in defense and took a few steps backwards. But after a few steps he stopped and looked back. "I'm just glad to see a friend again,…", he muttered.

Valefor took a deep breath. It was impossible to tell what went through his mind. His expression was emotionless. The statement that left him shortly afterwards, did not express his actual thoughts. "I'll say it once and for all: We are no friends. Save yourself this sentimental garbage. You've made your decision, now stick with it. And fuck off!"

Harsh words that definitely burned into the warrior mind. For a short moment his eyes filled with sadness, before it changed to anger. "You're right. How could I be that stupid and think something like that. Asshole,…", with that Kying left. Angry and hurt.

- To be continued.

— Follow up of:

Huargh, this part just hurts. But it's important for later on. We're still on our way down, and it's getting faster and faster. Next part will hurt even more. :D And it only gets worse. (Until it gets better again.)

BUT making this comic out of ingame screenshots was fun ;v; Hope you like it, too! Next parts will be drawn again.

#gw2 #guildwars2 #guild wars 2 #charr #myArt #kying #valefor #valefor-kying-journey #*kicks val in the butt* #idiot #you need to hug kying not be a meanie :( #but he not ready for it

[rthko]

So, someone got mad about one of my posts so they found a sarcastic 27 note post a mutual made and my sarcastic tag on it. I’m not even sure how you found that post, but if you scoured my blog to find something problematic to win an argument against me, here are other posts you may have scrolled past:

-A 17,000 note post in which I affectionately describe myself as “faggy” and “feminine.”

-A 11,500 note post where I directly criticize assimilationism and defend expressions of gay sexuality.

-A 25,000 note post where I describe myself as having a gay voice and speaking favorably of other people who do.

Or, if we’re going by recent posts and not notes, for God’s sake in the last 48 hours I posted thong selfies and about how I find stereotypical gay qualities attractive. But because someone wanted to argue, weirdo tumblr users want to put me on trial for a post with 27 notes of me sharing a joke with a mutual. So to be honest, yes, I did expect people to read my sarcasm because on the day I posted that, it was one of several posts where I make fun of normie, anti-“stereotypical” gays. My tags were meant to be read in a larger context, and not caught in a screenshot by people who refuse to take me in good faith to begin with.

Anyway, why am I engaging in 2014 tumblr style callout drama against my better judgement? Because the real point I want to make is that this behavior is not normal! A few months ago I got several paragraphs yelling at me in my inbox about some innocuous post I made circa 2016. When I said I don’t even remember the post, they said “don’t try to hide it. I saved it on the wayback machine.” That’s not normal! It’s not normal to expect me to put a giant flashing neon sign next to every sarcastic post saying “THIS IS SATIRE,” even when it blatantly contradicts the sentiments of everything I say in earnest. It’s not normal to get mad at someone and dig through their blog trying to find some old out-of-context post you can use to claim the moral high ground. It is not normal that the state of discourse on “accountability” has been irreparably shaped by some depressed teenager in the early 2010s who made a blog about “problematic favs.”

So, when it comes to sexuality and gender expression, be your authentic self and defy expectations of “normality.” But when it comes to tumblr discourse, please for the love of god be NORMAL!

[shadowflash]

One of my favorite things to get into with 3Hopes / 3Houses are the comparisons between the English and Japanese scripts! In the past, I’ve seen people go over the difference between scripts, and discuss how some changes that happened were for the better or worse. For example, some of you reading this might recall all the talk of unfortunate mistranslations the team for 3Houses made some years ago. That sorta talk is what I’m going to try to get into but not from the angle of criticism in this case.

Like, I’m gonna be trying my hand at comparing the ENG and JP scripts. Mind you I'm not a proficient Japanese reader, and often rely on tools like DeepL + referring to dictionaries and language forums to fill in the gaps of my understanding (which is to say that I'm a super amateur), but I am able to at least note that there are some slight tonal differences here and there in 3Hopes plus I have seen other people do comparisons of their own between scripts.

Again: I’m not writing a criticism of the ENG vs JP stuff. What I’m going for is more like... “Oooh these differences are nice. Having both scripts on hand is good for supplementary understanding reasons!”

For this post, I'll be looking at a couple of differences between Claude's letter to Shez in English and Japanese under the cut.

ENG screenshots of the letter:

And the JP transcript of these same lines:

“お前には、いつも助けらてきたよな。愚痴を間いてもらったこともー度じゃない。”

“この節目に、改めて礼を言わせてくれ。ありがとう、心から感謝してるよ。”

“先のことはわからない、これかわも俺を支えてくてると助かる。いいよな？”

The differences between the last lines across both languages, I think, are the most interesting.. And as you might have seen, I tagged this as "claudeshez" as this is the lens I'm looking at this letter from. Anyway...

In ENG, we get this really nice page writing metaphor that Claude uses in his attempt to persuade Shez to continue fighting by his side. Which itself is so good. Love it.

And in JP, the equivalent line is pretty direct:

(very roughly): "I don't know what lies ahead, so it would be helpful if you could support me. Okay?*" * -> "いいよな？" = "ii yo na?" // It's literally the word "okay" (also “good” or “[it’s] nice” depending on its usage. Think: positive sort of context.) followed by the particles ‘yo’ and ’na’ which basically turns it into something like "Okay? :D" or more accurately “[Does that sound] good? :D” (cute). A plain “Okay? :D” might read as weirdly ambiguous in ENG, and so I think the ENG translation team made a good call to have it be "What do you say? :D" (also cute) since it acknowledges the meaning of those previously mentioned particles!

To me, the usage of "いいよな？" gives the impression that Claude already anticipates that Shez will continue to support him. To access this letter in the first place, the player would need to have had Shez give him the merc whistle. So the very context of this circumstance, I think, lends this line some deeper meaning.. A very sweet one underneath the surface:

"I already know your answer, but I'm going ask anyway after telling you that I would like to have you by my side."

Cuuute. Yes, this question sounds like something he would ask of any reliable ally who fought by his side. But, in receiving this request through a heartfelt letter (as a result of their gift exchange) rather than whatever else, this idea that 'naturally, he would be requesting this' is pushed toward a special direction! Like: "Why this letter.. It's such an intimate medium to communicate through. Hmmm!" Well... The letter is special for a reason. I feel like I’ve said "so cute!" a million times, and I'll say it some more because it's true. To me.

I love sentiments like, "Even if it's just for a little longer, please stay by my side." It's so, sooo cute. And watching Claude say this to Shez, it shows players how he can happily lean on them at this point... Again, it's not like he doesn’t depend on his other friends, but in the context of the two’s relationship, something like this expressed in a private letter is very good. It's not like he's opening up about something groundbreaking, but he's exposing emotional vulnerability as he has been to Shez: by being frank about his feelings. Like, there are times in GW where the metaphorical wall between their hearts is pointed out to be The Problem** (it's why they don't get too close close in a traditional sense) so "smaller" gestures like this are a bigger deal between them than it typically would be..?

Like, these (whatever Claude and Shez are doing whenever they're basically alone together) are fairly normal ways of being emotionally vulnerable with someone. Plainly saying how you feel and telling your friends that you are grateful for them is something that's pretty "d'awwww", but it's not a particularly 'out there' way to express your feelings to them. But in the context of two characters who both impose some kind of distance between their hearts and those of other peoples' while craving the very closeness they habitually reject, any gesture that suggests emotional vulnerability or emotional intimacy carries more significance.. If that makes sense. I don't have all the words to get into exact details while maintaining what little coherency I am able to write with. But I am trying. Argh.

Another line, this time from the second pictured dialogue box:

ENG: “Thank you. Thank you for everything.”

JP: “ありがとう、心から感謝してるよ。”

(very roughly): “Thank you, from the bottom of my heart thank you.”

UGH.. Both of these are really good..!! They both repeat the ‘thank you’ sentiment which is beautiful, and the differences in phrasing are just wonderful. The ENG version gives me this impression that it’s a ‘grand’ sort of thank you where we can feel a great yet gentle sense of relief float in the air, the sort that comes at the end of a long journey. Like a ‘thank you’ hug.

The JP version is... a little more... flowery?? fluffy (not in the light-hearted way but like.. really SOFT)?? sweet?? It’s also like a hug, but different. <- losing his fucking mind (I'm not a creative writer). For lack of better words: it’s dripping with a kind of sentimentality that feels more intimate from Claude’s end of this interaction. It’s wonderful.

BOTH VERSIONS ARE GREAT... Guys, I like it here. Claudeshez... yas.

If someone with better proficiency with Japanese happens to come across this post and would like to point out any of my misunderstandings and/or add more to this, please feel free to do so!

** -> The easiest example to point out from the top of my head is the cutscene that takes place after you watch Claude cut down Shahid. There, Shez notices that Claude is missing from the festivities and attempts to reach out to him.

Here’s a link to an imgur folder that contains screenshots of this exchange!

#few3h spoilers #this is for.. what. the 5 of us who like this pairing. hi 👋 #claudeshez #claushez #i keep staring at this like wow. words fail me whenever i try to make feeling-driven explanations lol. #shez #fe3h claude #few3h #fire emblem three hopes #fire emblem three hopes spoilers

[joshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

God I’m like, so bummed out about the Made in Abyss game lol. Cause like, a Made in Abyss game sounds hype pretty much inherently? Like I’m absolutely not the first person to express that sentiment - that this world and its mechanics would make for a really fucking exciting video game. And like we’re actually getting that! But it just looks so... depressingly budget. I know that most anime games tend to be budget, it’s not like Made in Abyss has any reason to be an exception to that rule, but. You look at some of the views in the Made in Abyss manga, and in its anime adaptation. And then you look at the cheap graphics and pathetic render distances of this game and it can’t even compare, and that sucks!

That feeling extends to the environments themselves outside of just graphics. Made in Abyss manga is impossibly pretty, and the anime went ahead and added even more locations, stuff to look at, things for Riko and Reg to explore. A video game could take that even further - really give us a massively expansive and “complete” feeling abyss. But trailers and screenshots just show locations from the anime lol. Nothing new, no hidden corners, just stuff we’ve all seen before but now it looks worse.

There’s also how the Curse of the Abyss seems to be being handled? It basically just seems to cause varying levels of debuffs to your stamina and hunger metre, which make it harder to keep your health high without obviously - as well as I guess stopping in place to puke a bit and seeing what barely qualify as hallucinations. Basically just stuff working in service of making dying easier. But then you just respawn at last save or whatever! That’s so boring! The Curse is this utterly terrifying and uncaring phenonemon that makes the abyss truly a place of no return! And in this game it’s just some slight debuffs that at worst are gonna send you back a savepoint and cost a bit of progress! That’s just annoying, not scary! Not even fucking kidding this should be a game where if you die it deletes your save file - that’s it. You weren’t good enough for the Abyss. You couldn’t face it. You don’t get another shot (but like you do it’s just you’ve gotta start from the beginning). I easily get why that might be cringe but bro it’s the fucking abyss it’s this force of nature beyond our comprehension, a place so impossibly intimidating but that we’re drawn to anyway due to its mystery and the sense of adventure burning in our hearts and eyes! The stakes should be as high as losing your fucking save file so we’re not commodifying the fucking thing!

That’s all I think. Rant over. I’m still sorta interested in buying this game but idkkkkkkkkkkkk I really fucking wish it looked better aaaaaaaa

#made in abyss #7.7.22

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

Any thoughts on jimin singing in with you and bad decisions? For me I didn't expected anything but when I listen to his voice n way of singing just got goosebumps! I'm thinking pjm1 gonna be at its best.

It's a breath of fresh air to listen to him in those two songs. He's so expressive so his line delivery is always on point, with the right emotion. I think that's probably always been his strongest ability as a singer, to evoke, to put weight on his lines and make them mean something. In any way, because he's able to convey emotions so well in both songs you mention yet they're so different. But the yearning is there in with you, and the flirty, cheeky vibe is also there in bad decisions. And it's even more noticeable imo without the distortion of autotune that makes voices sound too robotic.

Once he said that when he showed his first version of "friends" to a producer, the man told him that he felt melancholy looking at Jimin's face, or that there was melancholy in his eyes. I tried finding a screenshot or something, but I couldn't find anything. I'm pretty sure Jimin said this in a vlive where he's wearing the be a good human green sweatshirt in early 2020. And in the latest bangtanbomb too one of the other members called him "forlorn king" lmao.

So yeah, that's one of my favorite things about Jimin's singing and I think he's been getting so much better at it, which is why is so noticeable in with you or bad decisions. But it's there in BTS songs, too, mostly in their live versions of songs 😅

Editing to add this that I just saw. My sentimental babie 🫂

[robotsprinkles]

Analysing the Evolution of Destiny’s Art Style, Prelude 2: Disclaimers

This one’s gonna be a bit of a mess (and not particularly necessary to read), mostly just me listing claims/criticisms other people have made regarding the differences between D1 and D2′s artstyles, discussing my method for comparisons/analysis and the potential flaws, and some other issues.

The only thing I really want people to take from this is that if I make a claim you disagree with, please tell me and send me screenshots from the game that disprove my argument/show what you mean so I can correct my mistakes.

Disclaimers:

I will largely not be collecting reference for D1 using my own game and ps4, because a) my controller’s broken and I don’t want to buy a new one, b) it would take way too long to acquire every armour piece and weapon that exist in the game, c) a lot of people have already done direct comparisons of certain things between the games (the Cosmodrome, Luna, VoG, certain weapons, etc. Whenever I use someone else’s footage/pictures in a comparison I’ll link to the source. I’m aware that this method of sourcing references isn’t ideal and could lead to flawed data (for instance, if the place I’m sourcing from decided to put their images through a filter like bumping up the contrast or saturation, or if I try to judge average default palette using items that have shaders applied to them. I’ll try to avoid the second thing by double checking every item I use in lowlidev (the one site that actually has every d1 weapon and armour piece, albeit in the form of low-poly simple-textured models).

Throughout this series, I’ll often reference arguments and claims I’ve seen made by others regarding the topics covered, and I’ll often be phrasing my analyses and notes as direct responses to said claims. In these cases, I will probably not link to the posts I’m responding to (mostly because a lot of these claims have been made by more than a few people, and most of the posts are quite old. also most of them are reddit and bungie forum posts). 

This isn’t going to be one of those “d2 bad d1 superior bungie sucks and don’t know how to make their own game blah blah blah” things there’s already plenty enough of. D2 is one of my favourite games and is without question my most played game of all time, and while I do have my criticisms of the game and Bungie and certain things they’ve done, bashing them over something like this would be stupid.

In addition, while my current preference is for D1′s artstyle and design philosophy (a sentiment I have expressed and share with my friends who also play), upon D2′s launch, I actually vastly preferred D2′s art and design style over D1′s. I genuinely fully switched from being a warlock main to a titan main because I loved being able to make my titan an absolute unit. (in D1 I actually used immolation fists on my titan solely because they were the arms with the biggest spauldrons that I had)

Also while I would love it if Bungie ported every piece of D1 armour (except maybe exotics for perk balance reasons) into D2 (as ornaments or actual loot) Bungie can do what they want it’s their game and I’m just some random person on the internet. I also understand it would probably be hell for them to port however many armour pieces d1 has with all the retopology and retexturing and everything else they’d have to do.

Now, onto some claims I’ll be responding to/going over throughout this series:

“Destiny 2 has more contrast/higher saturation than Destiny 1″

“D1 looks better/more realistic because it’s darker and gritter than D2″

“D1 has a more mysterious atmosphere as a result of its technically worse graphics”

related to the previous: “the technically worse graphics (lighting/rendering/etc) of D1 forced bungie’s artists to compensate by adding wear and tear, grit, scuff marks, etc to everything, which gave everything a lived-in, realistic feel”

also related to the previous two: “bungie’s switch to PBR in D2 caused them to go really hard into eyecandy/showing off the improved graphics by ‘going to town on fancy effects like metal shine’ and light flares, etc. The increased focus on ‘aesthetic’ and making everything ‘pretty/eyecandy’ caused D2 to lose a lot of D1′s ‘used future’ and post apocalyptic character/feel”

“Environments in D1 felt more weathered/realistic/post-apocalytic/aged due the use of warm off-whites, while D2 uses more neutral and cool whites, making everything feel brighter/newer”

“D1 armour looks better/more realistic than D2 armour because”

“It’s modular and uses recycled assets, therefore everything feels like part of the same world/setting and makes everything look grounded and thus more realistic/better”

and “it’s all made from a library of the same Bits and therefore every piece of armour works with every other piece, thus allowing for easy mixing of different sets that look like they all fit together, while D2 armour pieces are all built as part of a single set, resulting sets being significantly harder to mix and match without design clash”

(for titans) “The shoulders are smaller”

“D2 armour is brighter/more saturated”

“D1 armour feels more layered than D2 armour”

(These aren’t the only things I’ll be going over, but this is getting long)

Some quick notes on my opinion of the oft-made claims on this topic based off what I’ve read:

A lot of the claims people make about the differences between the artstyles of the two games (usually in the form of bashing D2 because of course) aren’t necessarily wrong, but they’re often a combination of using a general trend/overgeneralisation and ignoring the existence of exceptions and outliers to form a thesis, and taking that one noted factor of difference and claiming it to be the only — or if they’re being slightly smarter about it, the most significant — factor of difference between the two. The most obvious example of this would be people whose only point on the topic of differences in D2 and D1 titan armour design is the size of the shoulders (again usually in the context of saying D2 sucks/is worse than D1), completely neglecting to mention or acknowledge anything else (backswept helms, more purpose-built techsuits, upswept cuisses, more flat planes, more machined details, etc)

People often make claims that feel true but actually aren’t, either due to flawed memory, or the way the game is made tricking their senses, or trying to come up with an example to prove a point and just saying things that are demonstrably incorrect/have multiple major/blatant counterexamples (VoG’s environments being generally darker in D2 than D1)

Gonna give an example here just because this one’s really easy to demonstrate. You’ll note that while for the most part, the materials and lighting are darker on average in D2, Bungie also significantly increased the strength of the lighting effects in D2, at least in VoG (I believe — based off my memory of previous comparisons I’ve done — that the the sun in D1′s Cosmodrome is significantly brighter than in D2, though, a) the sun is at different positions and it’s (therefore) a different time of day, and b) the sun isn’t really visible

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUA9abTBjWA

Also, just an addendum/note/correction on a claim I made in another post: I’ve previously stated that the Cosmodrome in D1 is more saturated in colour than it is in D2. However, having since done further research, I think it’s not quite as simple as that; it depends on what time of the day/night cycle you’re in (in D1, D2′s Cosmodrome doesn’t have a day/night cycle for some reason). During sunset/sunrise (and I think nighttime, though it’s entirely possible I’m wrong on that one since I’ve not yet done a proper levels check for that), D1 is more saturated, but during the sun’s peak, D1 is indeed less saturated than D2.

My current theory is that D1 favoured not simple washed-out colours, as many people claim, but instead that the average colour of the environment/objects was heavily affected by the colour of the dominant light source (during sunset, everything is pushed towards a strong red-orange, night is cool blue, midday is washed-out white, and so on), where as D2 favours more neutral (potentially slightly cool) base lighting that doesn’t affect the average hue of the environment near as much if at all (the moon in D2 is greyer and less blue than in D1, as an example)

There’s almost certainly more to it than that, which is fine, because I’ll be going over this in more detail in one of the actual in-depth posts.

Also, again, if anyone reading this disagrees with a claim I make and has evidence for the counterclaim, please tell me and send me the evidence so I can correct myself. (I’m asking for sent proof/evidence mostly so I don’t end up thinking the counterclaim is wrong due to taking my reference at the wrong time of the day/night cycle or anything like that, but also so I don’t end up wasting time checking a claim that turns out to be false)

End of Prelude 2.

#Robot analyses Destiny's artstyle #destiny #Destiny 2 #Robot's Rambles

[valerie]

TWITL - week 37 - slightly cooler days

The title of this blog is more wishful thinking than anything. Sure, we didn't have any triple digits days this past week but mostly 90s with a couple of higher 80s days can't really count as "cooling down," eh? https://flic.kr/p/2p2SK9K Nibbler didn't care that I was watching them snack... TV Nova Vita - I finally finished this 10-episode show. It ended on a cliffhanger that was only mildly interesting and I was rather relieved when it ended. It was worth it to watch Thomas Beaudoin and I've certainly watched worse for my fellas. He was the best part of the show and perhaps the most believable. I might have a better appreciation for the fake wife as I do a skimming sort of re-watch, mostly to do screenshots of Thomas. I don't think I'll ever care about the mourning wife. I don't think I can recommend this show to anyone but I wouldn't mind hearing what others might have to say about it, especially if they don't have a reason to watch like I did... https://flic.kr/p/2p2NZfn Thomas Beaudoin as Dave Harper in Nova Vita Ahsoka - Another well done episode this past week. I recognize the actor playing Young Ahsoka as the one who played Young Gamora in Avengers: Infinity War! See, I pay attention. Even though I am enjoying this show very much, I think my understanding of the show has depended too much on watching the re-cap shows after the episodes. I don't have the same emotional investment as the fans of Rebels or Clone Wars and the show hasn't really done enough to bring me in. It's a delicate balance but if I feel like this, what more for the even more casual fans? https://flic.kr/p/2p32etr at the library with my Z Flip5, taken by my iPhone 14 Pro Max Apple announced the iPhone 15 lineup. Of course, the iPhone 15 Pro Max is THE iPhone to get if you want the best camera of the bunch. No, I'm not getting the iPhone 15 Pro Max (though if I were in the market, the 256 GB version would be my choice) but I'll get to touch one in a week since R is upgrading his phone. I'll feel some tech envy and then I'll have to remind myself that I'm cosplaying a tech reviewer type by being a Captain 2 Phones. Spoiled, I know. https://flic.kr/p/2p3gNTV supporting my All Blacks The Rugby World Cup is in its second weekend. The All Blacks lost their first match but they won against Namibia on Friday, 71-3. Bonus points! I'm pretty determined to wear an All Blacks jersey on the days they play. So far it looks like they're playing on Fridays during round play, so good for me as I can get away with wearing sports wear on casual Fridays at work. Plus the superintendent is a rugby fan, so he might not mind so much. GO ALL BLACKS!!! https://flic.kr/p/2p3yqzE I got a new desk printer/scanner combo to replace my former printer and scanner this week. Maybe I'm a nerd (no, no maybe, I am) but I was excited to get the new piece of equipment even though my printer had been with me for eight years or so. It was so dependable but my scanner was less dependable. My new printer/scanner seems like a great printer (and mini copier) but the scanner scans ever so slightly crooked. How can I fix that?! I don't know but it's going to annoy me, especially if I have to edit the scans for some reason. But I can't complain too much. It's a great update that feels like a good turn of happenstance. https://flic.kr/p/2p2UsTj the dependable former printer Whilst scrolling through a friend's FB, I happened upon a post that made me stop. The sentiment expressed utterly disappointed me but it also infuriated me. I was glad to see that no one had liked that particular post nor commented on it. Perhaps we're all too civilized to counter the post's words. Go us? As a daughter of union workers and a union worker myself, I wholeheartedly support of unions. Unions are an important element of the working force, bringing us fair wages and benefits. Anyone who says they're pro-union but says they hate unions in their profession in the next breath doesn't understand what a union is or perhaps thinks they above people who work in unions. It's likely a combination of both but in this case I think it's the latter. I'm not going to say that all unions are good because I worked in one that I suppose did its job but allowed the department to reclassify us, which meant more money for the workers but also more money to the unions and works that the department could shuffle more easily than before. If you can work in a job that doesn't need union protections, good for you. Truly. Please don't act like you're better than someone who does work that depends on union benefits because you can somehow get inconvenienced, likely during negotiations. If it's part of your job to deal with such things, suck it up and get it done. But don't act like you support unions when in reality, you do not. You can't purport to support unions if you're going to say you hate it in your profession. Maybe you're in the wrong line of work if something you'd normally support turns into something you hate because of your profession. As I consider this more, I think I must say that not only did that friend's post infuriate me, it offended me. But you know what, they won't care or they'll try to say something like, "I didn't mean it that way." Well, I took it that way and nothing can really change my opinion about it. I'm tired of making excuses for other people, for giving them the benefit of the doubt. I've done this for too long and maybe it's time for other people to do it... https://flic.kr/p/2p2MHZ8 SOCIAL MEDIA Threads (@kiari) - I think I'm still enjoying this one the most, of the new places. I know it's still in early days and I should be happy we have web access now but I wish that hashtags worked there. I saw a post arguing that hashtags aren't needed but I feel like that random poster doesn't understand hashtags at all... Bluesky (@kiari.com) - I've been getting invites codes every week, which means I can share them with my friends. I also like Bluesky but it needs more people posting random stuff. I want my friends to post more there! Spoutible (@valerie) - This one is probably evolving the best and the conversations there are thoughtful and fun in turns. Some people are still so serious and this is the place that likes to act like they're better than the other places (and yes, in many ways they are) but too many people also seem to judge the other places and the people who post there... I try to post everyday (well, every weekday) to all three places and I do still post my Wordles to the place formerly known as Twitter. I'm not going to deactivate or delete my twitter account because I don't want someone to take my handle and use it for nefarious purposes. After all, it's a longstanding account. If Twitter burns, my handle will go with it. Until then, I'll post those Wordles and not much else... https://flic.kr/p/2p3fQjd The afternoon NFL games are on and I'm ready to publish this post. Go me! A good week to you all! https://flic.kr/p/2p2NTUx Read the full article

#techfreakchick #thomasbeaudoin #tv

[stuff-terfs-say]

Going forward

TERFs have been a big special interest of mine given the inherent irony of being pro liberation and anti trans. What can be more liberating than modern transition? Society, nature even, gives you a role and someone says "Fuck that." And suits their life and even body to better express who they truly are? Never made sense to me.

I started this blog to categorize the instances where TERFs would either get so far up their own ass that they were spouting gibberish or realizing that their movement was in a way (if not completely) regressive. I noticed this around when JKR posted her terf wars article in 2020. By publishing her views as one of the most famous and popular authors, she brought this type of discourse to the dinner table. Since the mainstream left is more pro trans and the mainstream right anti trans, there began the absorption of terf talking points into the conservative movement. It was slow. It was insidious. It was there.

It wasn't until last summer I realized more and more terf blogs I would see were just disappearing. I decided then I wanted to catalog the swan song of left wing anti trans sentiment, through this blog.

I didn't want to interact with TERFs directly, so I just screenshot the entries and tried to keep the commentary to a minimum. I'm not exactly how but, someone (I think monapill) found me. And now there's a good baker's dozen of you here. Cool.

As I went through, it was hard to find what I initially thought I would. TERFs weren't realizing they were wrong. And I was like "ok whatever, but wtf is happening to all these blogs?" It wasn't until I was watching (yes I know boo hiss ew gross) Vaush talk to a former Nazi, did I realize what was happening. The former Nazi said that not all of the people in far right started off wanting to exterminate all minorities, but they got there eventually. That's what was happening to the radfems here. They weren't getting better. They were getting worse. They were getting so bad that they were being kicked off for violating Terms of Service. This was so common that they have a word for it: getting "termed"

Looking at the recent events in Australia and how the gender critical/radfem reaction, I've noticed three intra community theories

1. The Nazis were just .... There. They had their own protest that had nothing to do with the woman's rally. It was a bad look, but nothing they could do about it.

The problem with this is, while possible, it's a really weird coincidence.

2. The trans activists staged a false flag situation to make TERFs look bad.

Why would they pretend to be Nazis? Why not either be in the pro trans counter protest that was already there, or if they really wanted to, pretend to be TERFs? If they wanted TERFs to look bad, why not disguise yourself as one of them, then do violence or whatever. Why Nazis?

And 3. The Nazis are on their side.

Only one of these makes sense. And they are going to have to look in the mirror and realize they are the baddies.

I just think at this point, what we think of when we think "Terf" will stop existing by the end of this year. Yeah the rhetoric will stay for a while longer, but it's been almost completely taken over by right wingers. It's not going to be some 20 year old femcel complaining about a hypothetical trans woman wanting to have sex with her, it's going to be Michael Knowles calling to protect women and children from the Satanic transes by banning women wearing pants.

TL;DR Transphobic radfems have always been a small group, but most likely there's simply not going to be enough TERFs to continue this blog for much longer, given the circumstances.

[beelovesnct]

𝐍𝐂𝐓 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝟎𝟎' 𝐕𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 [𝟎𝟓𝟎𝟑𝟐𝟏]

—aiko in the march 5, 2021 vlive of the 00' line

[0:08]—Aiko is sat between Jeno and Jaemin, and comparable to the latter, she also had her mask on. She is observed to be wearing a simple gray oversized jacket with some comfortable-looking pants.

[2:06]—The Vlive finally begins with Haechan's short introduction. Aiko absentmindedly nods at whatever the member was saying. Beside her, Jaemin attempts to remove the mask from her face. She swats his hands away but eventually complies and removes the item.

[4:30]—Following Jeno's complaints about Jisung's carelessness on his ring, Aiko was asked about the current condition of hers. Aiko responded by showing her index finger—where the ring was placed, evidently undamaged. The boys showed sounds of approval, with Renjun commenting, "That's sentimental Aiko for you." The comment earned him a small glare.

[5:14]—Right back at the topic of Jisung, Jeno was teased on how much he favored the youngest member, and Aiko was not excluded. "Jisung is the love of Aiko's life," teased Haechan, to which the member responded with a small shrug, "I won't deny it, Jisung is a better companion than any of you." This prompted Jaemin to ruffle her hair in mock disbelief.

[9:20]—"So how are you these days, Aiko?" Renjun proceeds to ask after a round-robin teasing check-up on the other 00' line members. Aiko let her eyes wander around the members before staring dead straight into the camera and feigning a sigh, "It's been hard." Her response made Renjun call her out, "Yah! If you say it like that, people will get the wrong idea!" The other three merely laughed at their interaction.

[9:35]—"Mark killed me by mistake and Aiko didn't even help me." Renjun sulked when they talked about the new game everyone in dream was playing. Aiko shrugged, "Sorry, but if Mark is a lost cause, you're a close second." Renjun scoffed, "Why are you so mean to me today?" His expression prompted Aiko to reach out and hold his hand, sheepishly smiling, "I'm just kidding, stop pouting."

[11:20]—"Who did you marry, me or Jeno?" Renjun teasingly asked once a fan placed a comment on wanting to marry 'Donghyuck.' Haechan looked at either of them before grasping Aiko's hand, "I'll get married to Aiko next month." Aiko swatted his hand away, not even looking up from reading the comments on her phone, "No thanks, I'll marry Daegal."

[18:48]—"What about acting cute?" Haechan asked after conducting a funny face screenshot time. "No." Aiko immediately responded, prompting the others to smirk. "Yah, let's do it." Jaemin encouraged, knowing full well Jisung won't be there to catch the fall for his beloved noona. "Tsk, I won't join then." Aiko threatened. Hearing this, Haechan started to act cute on his own, "Come on Aiko, hu~" Renjun supported, "Just play once, and besides you don't have to do it if you lose!"

[19:27]—The quartet rejoiced, as Aiko lost the game. "I told you I won't do it." With her persistence, the members found no choice but to confide in the fans, like what they normally do with Mark, knowing full well the female idol held a soft spot for their whims. "Everyone, Aiko doesn't want to do it. Don't you want to see her look cute?"

[19:41]—Aiko grumbled, but complied anyway. "Hu~" She made those typical adorable noises, making the others grin in response. Haechan pinched her cheek after.

[25:08]—Aiko let out a loud chuckle, nodding along with Jaemin's story of confidently calling himself Jeno at a concert. "I'm Jeno." She mocked, slapping Jaemin's arm as she struggle to control her laughter while Jaemin encouraged it, constantly repeating, "I'm Jeno."

[30:05]—The live ended with the members saying goodbye, stating how they had to eat so they consequently have to end the live. "Yes, everyone. We have to leave now for our next schedule." Haechan started. "To eat meat." Jeno chided in, making everyone chuckle. "Aiko is starting to get angry so we have to feed her now." Teased Jaemin to the quiet Aiko who was just waving her hands with a smile. Upon hearing his comment, a punch collided with Jaemin's arm. "He's lying, but we do have to go. Thank you for watching everyone!"

#nct 24th member au #nct 24th member #nct dream 8th member #kpop female addition #nct female oc #nct additional member #nct extra member #nct female member #nct female addition #neko #nct dream #nct #nct 127 #wayv #female oc #girl crush #kpop!oc #nct x oc #nct x reader #aiko in the media

[bridgeportbritt]

The Toxicity of Royal Simblr

alright guys. I was kind of hoping I wouldn’t have to make a post about this or that it would just go away. But, I’m seeing now that this is not the case. As the owner of the Royal Discord Community, I along with others in the community feel like this behind the scenes toxic behavior needs to be addressed because it’s been going on for a while now and a lot of people have been affected.

Please note that the intention is to bring attention to some of the toxic behaviors shown here so those involved will not continue further. We’ve blocked names of some people in the following screenshots to remove their identity as this is not about he said/she said stuff. It’s about bringing light to something that’s been affecting all of us.

This is a long post so be prepared to do some reading if you continue on. The following screenshots were provided to me because I took over the Royal Discord once the previous admins no longer wanted it. The rest is under the cut.

*Before you read on, I’m happy to let you know that a resolution has come since this initial post. Please read this post. Thank you!*

A lot of these messages are disheartening because myself, the other admins/mods, and the community as a whole has worked hard to bring the community back from a place where people honestly felt too scared to join because messages like these were playing in the background and this sentiment seeps into every part of Royal Simblr unfortunately. Due to how things were run previously on top of this toxic underbelly it’s made people hesistant to join in.

There is one thing I’d like to address first as it was directed at myself and I want to own up to anything I have done in this. When I first joined Royal Simblr, I participated in a Royal Sim Pageant. In one of the rounds, derogatory and racist remarks against Asians were made without the participants knowing. I truly regret to have been apart of it. When it was brought to my attention, I worked to correct the damage done with the owners of the pageant. I’m not perfect and don’t claim to be, but I’m always working to be better especially when it comes to correctly representing other cultures as it’s something I take very seriously.

To preface these messages, there are two things to know. There are two seperate servers. Server A) The server I’ve been admin of for a little over a month after the last admin transferred it to me. Server B) A smaller server that was created before Server A and made up a lot of the folks who also created and ran the Server A initially. The other thing is most of these people are not in Server A and haven’t been in over a month.

The conversation you see here started with a member of the community being accused of copying storylines. This person being accused is in Server A and this conversation took place in Server B on July 15, 2021.

The person speaking is saying they left Server A because a person is accused of copying storylines. For some reason, the whole community is then somehow involved in this as the conversation shifts. The person accused of copying happened to be a moderator in Server A which is mentioned. 

From what I’ve seen from this server, this is fairly common behaviour and multiple people have been bullied, accused of copying, etc. many stemming from this server.

In this shot, Server A is put into question. Many stating they left because they don’t want to pretend to be positive or show interest in other stories as if they are being forced to. As you can see one person states that this is not the case of the server since I’ve been admin and don’t encourage people to show fake positivity.

However, this person is actually in Server A which I’m guessing is why they decided to sort of defend it. But, then they agree that those running Server A are questionable (ie myself and the other admins/mods).

More of the same, but speaking about the previous ownership of the server when referring to being asked to step down. Also more just toxic talk about the entire Royal simblr community for no reason. This comes from those who have “built the community” and “do so much for it.” But behind closed doors this is what is done.

In this shot, those in Server A are accused of not “making an effort to be anyone’s friend” with those who rarely interact, being nice to each other for clout, and just overall being fake. Although, keep in mind, one of these people (”I stay for the drama”) is in Server A and never expressed any of this to me or other admins. Yet talking trash about us in Server B. Note: the pageant is also brought up here which I’ve addressed above and I believe I was the only admin or moderator apart of the pageant. 

Here they make fun of people speaking about their stories and other people encouraging them. Also, just want to point out if anyone ever feels unwelcomed in the server, please reach out to me of the other admins. It’s our goal to make everyone welcome, but we can’t do that if we don’t know. Also, being a jerk to people in another server for no reason isn't really a good way to make friends.

Some general nonsense about the server and those in the server. Again most of these people haven’t been in the server since I took over so sentiments about the status of the server are all from a month ago when those in Server B were in charge of Server A. The “felt like a corporation” and “crickets” is all things we’ve been working to reverse since we’ve taken it over.

In these shots, it’s talked about how so many people are stuck in their Royal stories and don’t plan methodically and decorate and how they take bad screenshots. Basically making fun of everyone else because they aren’t doing things exactly as they are or think they should be done. The community they “built” mind you. Then, they talk about some plan to rejoin Server A and bait people, but not wanting to get caught up so deciding against it.

This gives you a gist of what is happening in the Royal Simblr community. Some of the most beloved and talented among us are spending their time poking fun at everyone else, bullying, and being toxic in a server that is “not exclusive.” Many of my friends have been apart of this and even got swept into the toxicity which shows you the nature of this group. It’s very exclusive and meant to bully and mock others even going as far as making people want leave the community alrogether.

This is not me trying to bash anyone or continue bullying or single out these people specifically as bad people. There are a lot more screenshots that I did not share of just really mean stuff, but we’ve all done messed up stuff. I won't say who said what or even who had this particular conversation because at this point it doesn't matter, but I will address those who are in the server and actively participate in toxic conversations including @royaldevilliers @thesimsroyalfam @wa-royal-tea @royalfamilyofgrimalldi and @markinghamroyals​

We all have a vision for the community and we’ve been working towards that and this is NOT it. It’s not about who’s best or being being better than everyone else. It’s supposed to be about community, sharing stories, and overall just having a good time with a fun HOBBY. Others are just taking it too far and too seriously. Things like this ruin it for EVERYONE. 

When I took over Server A, no one interacted, people were nervous to join, and it was a place where people didn’t feel welcomed. Now, we just had a random 6 hour server stream yesterday, people are helping people daily and sharing their stories again. This is what we want for the community. But with behavior like this, we will NEVER get there.

To those who are doing this, please look at these nasty messages and see how this does so much harm. The toxic energy you bring does not stop just because it’s in your little bubble. 

This is who you want to be known as?

This is how you want to “build a community?” 

None of us are perfect and we don’t expect you to be either, but this is just mean especially to folks who haven’t done anything to you and even look up to you.

To those who’ve been affected by this, I’m really sorry. We have to do better if we want this community to continue and be a good place for us all.

[fictifile]

Sorry, friends – I can’t hold my essay voice back anymore. I absolutely adore this scene. I adore its implications for exactly what Monster Manor is about. Sure, we know it’s about an MC who renovates houses with supernatural presences – and we’ve been shown that sometimes that involves confronting traumas faced by the house and its occupants, or healing the relationship between them. But this moment – where Casimir has to admit that he sees his bedroom as entrapping him, and that he’s ready for that to change, before it can change – it’s such a beautiful metaphor for how we can become complicit in our own suffering in mental illness, sucked into self-perpetuating cycles of mistakes and self-blame and despair, and how sometimes what we need is to do something small to just start to break the cycle apart. The house, in this metaphor, becomes representative of our mental state, and – we need somebody like MC to help clean our walls or fix our favourite music box, to prove to us that it’s possible to make things better for ourselves so we realise that, one day, we might actually, genuinely be all right. And I also love the way Casimir expresses that sentiment, because he makes it clear that things aren’t immediately or magically getting better. The second-last screenshot makes the point that he still isn’t sure that he’s capable of this, or that he deserves it – but the realisation that he wants to be, that he wants to be in charge of his life again, is the spark that leads to his room transforming and the cycle starting to break. Yes, it’s a bit cheesy. Yes, this is an otome game about monsters released to profit from Halloween, and I’m probably reading way too much into it. But also – the scene above really did make me feel something, and think a lot, and write an entire essay post, and if nothing else that’s a sign of very good writing. So Happy Halloween, and here’s to good writing. May it continue to spark joy.

#fictif #monster manor #like clockwork #casimir gévaudan #screenshots #fandom essay #original post

[randomposterofstuff]

On the change of dynamics of Mikasa’s relationships with Eren and Levi

Author’s Note: Hi, all! I just wanted to share my personal analysis of two scenes that involve Eren, Mikasa, and Levi. The idea for the analysis just occurred to me randomly. And it made me think that these two scenes illustrate how much the dynamics of Mikasa’s relationships with Eren and Levi have changed over time. I don’t know if anyone has already made an analysis of this. But I just wanted to share my take on it. Haha. Fair Warning: This post is lengthy. Hahaha.

This is an analysis of two paralleling scenes involving Eren, Mikasa, and Levi. The first scene that will be discussed is the one where Levi beat Eren during the latter's military trial in Season 1. The second scene involves Levi striking Eren after the Raid on Liberio in Season 4. In the analysis of both scenes, I focused primarily on Mikasa's reactions. And at the end of the main analysis, I also posted my thoughts on what all of these could mean for Mikasa's relationship with Levi.

Also, SPOILER ALERT for those who haven't read Chapter 138 of the manga yet. While this post mainly analyzes the two scenes mentioned above, I also included some tidbits from Chapter 138 at the end to tie things up as neatly as possible. Hahaha.

So, anyway, here it goes:

-----

Season 1: The Trial

Back in Season 1, during Eren’s military trial, he was physically beaten by Levi. We all know that he did this to ensure that the Scouting Regiment/Survey Corps gets custody of him. The display was necessary to emphasize and prove that Levi, who is widely known as "Humanity's Strongest Soldier", is best suited to subdue Eren should he lose control of his abilities. Because of this, the Scouts were able to convince the Military Police and Premier Zackly that they should be given custody over Eren.

One of the most notable parts of this scene is how Mikasa was enraged by Levi's actions. Had Armin not stopped her, she would’ve probably lunged at Levi and struck him. At the time, Mikasa was gravely concerned about Eren’s well-being and was perhaps too furious at Levi to think about anything else. Because of this, she probably did not immediately realize that Levi had effectively secured Eren’s relative safety at the end of the day. 

During the trial, the MPs spoke of planning to dissect him, among others. Conversely, the Scouts proposed that he participate in an upcoming scouting expedition to determine whether he is a threat or not. They also suggested that Eren be placed under Levi’s direct supervision so that he could be subdued in the event of an incident. While the latter proposal still entailed some degree of violence, it was far less hostile and more beneficial to Eren than the MP’s proposal. 

Screenshots taken from Season 1, Episode 14 of the “Attack on Titan” anime

It is also worth noting that her primary concern during this time was Eren’s well-being. Mikasa is not cruel or heartless towards others. But it is worth noting that she was more concerned about Eren than the fact that he could have been a grave threat to so many innocent people. During this time, humanity inside the Walls was still ignorant of the truth, so the apprehension and fear directed towards Eren’s powers were justified and understandable. Yet, despite this, Mikasa was mainly singularly focused on Eren.

This is one of many instances which illustrate how she allows her affections for Eren to impair her judgment. She cares about him so much that sometimes her emotions get the better of her.

-----

Season 4: The Aftermath of the Raid on Liberio

Now, flash forward to Season 4 during the Raid on Liberio. When Eren was pulled onto the airship, Levi expressed his disgust and disappointment in Eren’s actions and behavior. He drove his points home by kicking Eren again. When he did so, Mikasa, probably out of habit and instinct, moved to intervene before Armin stopped her again. The difference here is that this time, she did not express anger towards Levi for beating Eren again. Instead, she had a sad and torn expression on her face.

Screenshots taken from Season 4, Episode 8 of the “Attack on Titan” anime

This is an indicator of growth and change on Mikasa’s part. While she still had the urge to protect Eren, she knew that because of what he did to the citizens of Liberio, Levi’s anger and disgust were justified. As a matter of fact, she herself was distraught when she saw the bodies of innocent civilians and children scattered on the battlefield. And what distressed her even more was the fact that Eren – her childhood friend, adoptive brother, and literal savior, was the cause of all the destruction.

Screenshots taken from Season 4, Episode 7 of the “Attack on Titan” anime

During this time, Mikasa had already begun to notice that the Eren she once knew was no longer with them. However, probably because of personal sentiment and their shared history, she still cared for him. It is likely that Mikasa still hoped that he would change for the better during this particular time. Even so, she is now wise and mature enough to not turn a blind eye to his terrible actions.

It can also be said that Mikasa is now better able to properly analyze the situation as a whole instead of just focusing on Eren. She understood the gravity of the problem and therefore acknowledged that Levi was in the right for feeling disgusted and disappointed. And maybe it can be said that she couldn’t blame him for kicking Eren again. (Lol.)

-----

What This Means for Levi and Mikasa's Relationship: Having Common Ground

As for what all of this means for Mikasa and Levi's relationship, I think that it can be said that Mikasa now has more common ground with Levi than Eren. 

The affection she has for Eren is rooted in a shared history and the kind of person he used to be before he became their ultimate enemy. Before the truth about the world and Eldians was revealed to the inhabitants of Paradis, Eren and Mikasa were long-time friends who worked hand-in-hand to achieve their common goals. The first was to keep humanity within the Walls safe from the threat of the Titans. And the second was to uncover the truth surrounding the mystery of the Titans. However, their relationship began to deteriorate when they finally learned of the truth, and when Eren gained access to his Attack Titan's ability to see the memories of its future and past inheritors. Over time, Eren began to slowly but surely drift away from her to the point that they had completely lost their common ground.

Conversely, her connection to Levi is based on trust and comradeship. Indeed, there aren't any explicitly romantic interactions between them (not yet, anyway. Lol.). However, it has already been established that Mikasa trusts Levi as a leader and as a fellow soldier. In the same vein, Levi also has faith in Mikasa's abilities. More importantly, it has been shown that Levi is capable of great empathy and that he has the best interests of humanity as a whole in both his mind and heart. This is another thing that he has in common with Mikasa. While she was heartbroken at the fact that killing Eren was the only way to stop him, she ultimately chose the rest of humanity over him and her feelings for him. She was even the one who dealt the final blow in Chapter 138. On this, I think that her act of choosing to kill Eren and actually seeing that choice through was her way of finally letting him go and choosing to move on from him. It's true that she said that she won't forget him, but then again, it's possible to move on from someone without forgetting them.

In relation to this, I think that it's symbolic (and perhaps even foreshadowing of events to come in Chapter 139) that Levi was the one to help her kill Eren. It's symbolic in the sense that by helping her kill Eren, Levi was the one to help Mikasa move on from him. It's also worth noting that when Mikasa declared her intention to kill Eren, Levi seemed to look awestruck and proud. He followed her lead - meaning that he trusted her resolve.

Images taken from Chapter 138 of the Shingeki no Kyojin manga.

This is particularly significant because, in the past, Levi (along with a few others) nearly always had to placate Mikasa whenever a dangerous situation involved Eren. Levi was completely aware of how reckless she could be whenever Eren's safety was in jeopardy. Even in the events leading up to the final battle, Mikasa still protested whenever anyone suggested that they kill Eren. However, when it came down to it, Mikasa decided that she would be the one to kill Eren. And when she asked for everyone’s help, he did not question her. Instead, he chose to trust her and believe her.

Perhaps this will lead to a deeper connection between them in the aftermath of the battle. Maybe this can be a foundation for the relationship that they will have in the future.

Anyway, that's all for now. I hope that this post makes sense. Haha. I'm sorry if it's a bit convoluted and messy. Lol. Let me know what you guys think!

#rivamika #levi ackerman #mikasa ackerman #mikasa x levi #levimika #levi x mikasa #aot #attack on titan #snk #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan eren #eren jeager #eren yeager

[byulsgrease]

if you arent too busy, can you write a idol!hwasa x idol!reader, wherein they both have to practice with each other for a special stage. However on the first meeting they become starstruck and cant believe somethings are real, but soon warm up to each other?

i'm not terribly busy but this still took a while anyway oops - sorry this took so long anon! here you go :D

if anyone has requests for the other members hmu cuz I've got 2 more hyejin reqs after this one (not that I'm complaining)

"who says we can't do something on our own?"

(hwasa x idol!reader, ~1.2k words)

cw: food + alcohol mention (y'all know how it is)

I named someone Minjeong - it's not Aespa's Winter, idk anything about 4th gen gg's - 민정 is my Korean name so it's just what came to mind

"Hey, wake up. You've gotta see this. GET UP," a voice piercing through the fog of your sleep.

What a rude awakening. Your shoulders being shaken vigorously by a pair of small hands meant they belonged to none other than Minjeong, your youngest group member. You rolled over to glare menacingly at her with one eye open, trying to pull your brain out of the slumber. All you could see was the bright light of her phone shining in your eyes - a video of some kind. But then you heard the audio:

"Have you seen the clip?" asked the interviewer.

"Yes, my members and many MooMoos made sure I saw it"— Moos? Oh, it's Hwasa. WAIT. Both your eyes flew open as you sat up and snatched Jeongie's phone out of her hand to stare at the video. Your mind immediately flashed back to the interview you did last week - they asked who you most wanted to collaborate with, if there were no limitations. Your ears started to heat up at the sheer thought of the flustered mess of an answer you gave - of course you said Hwasa. Both of you debuted relatively close to each other, within a year, but never interacted much over the years. Mamamoo as a group was a force to be reckoned with, but there was just something about Hwasa specifically. You mostly just admired her unique singing voice and undeniable stage presence, and her relentless drive to always be herself in an industry constantly trying to fit women into a box.

Finally snapping out of re-living that embarrassment, your attention turned back to the phone in your hand. The interviewer must've asked her to send a message in response to you, because you couldn't believe that she was waving and saying, "How haven't we gotten to know each other better over all these years? I'd love to work with you on something sometime," curtly dipping her head in a slight bow.

"SEE? You needed to see that," Minjeong rushed to say, full of energy. "And close your mouth, your jaw's on the floor," jokingly pointing.

You side-eyed her and shut your mouth. "Is this what Loco felt like when she called him during Hyena on the Keyboard?" you wondered aloud.

"At least she's not calling you while on camera," she commented, knowing full well that you'd probably embarrass yourself again if she did. "But hey, at least she noticed you! Can I have my phone back now?" It would be a dream come true to collaborate with her, but cross-company collabs... always a pain. that couldn't be helped. The fantasy abruptly ended with demands from your rumbling stomach. Done with your what-if's, you placed the phone back in your maknae's outstretched hand to get up and make breakfast.

~~~~

With award show season rolling around, the crazy scramble of rehearsing for special live stages without leaking sets and collabs began. Checking your email that morning showed a schedule to record the backing track for a special live stage, but that was it. With who? You texted your members a screenshot, but they all told you that block of time in their schedule was empty. A solo stage? The solo mini-album you released this cycle did relatively well, the title track got a music show win, but not a multi-week chart-topper by any means. Possibilities turning over in your mind, you stepped out from your place to head to the company, totally in the dark about what was in store.

The recording studio always smelled the same along with the couches, a comfort for all the insanely long nights and crack-of-dawn early mornings over the years. With a bit of time to kill, you plopped down on one and gingerly patted the worn cushions as some kind of symbolic thank-you for supporting you (literally).

A hesitant but loud knock sent your gaze directly to the door. Watching it slowly open, you leaned forward to see who it was. Needless to say, your jaw fell to the floor again as you clapped a hand over your gaping mouth, eyes widening. Like a soldier obeying a command, you immediately stood up as straight as possible and bowed profusely at Hwasa, sporting a very similar expression on her face (which you failed to notice, your mind running a million miles a minute).

After a series of frantic bows and miscellaneous utterances to each other, she spoke. "It's nice to finally meet you," she said with calm, surveying your frenzied state. "I guess we're granting that collab wish from your interview, huh?"

The red-hot embarrassment leapt to your face. "I...I definitely made a fool of myself answering that question. And our maknae showed me your interview clip too, which was cool, but never did I think it would actually happen," you stammered. I should probably stop talking.

"Well, here I am," she half-smiled coolly. "Let's get started, I'm really looking forward to finally work with you on this," a gleam in her eye and a hint of excitement in her voice.

The studio suddenly felt a lot smaller with her in it, despite there only being your managers, the producer, and the both of you - less people than you and your members alone. Both of you remained relatively quiet the whole time, rather unsure of what to say or talk about. You watched enough MMMTV to know that all the members on their own were shyer than together, and Hwasa knew the same was true for you. But the work basically took care of itself, seamlessly taking turns in the recording booth, witnessing each other's work style and process. The both of you knew your way in front of a mic, seasoned professionals by now. Upon wrapping up, you bowed politely to each other after a quick exchange of KaTalk info, a short and sweet goodbye.

That was... anticlimactic. I mean, it's finally happening - I can't believe it. But maybe I was too idealistic about maybe creating a meaningful relationship with her outside of work... What does she think of me?

~~~~

In the days leading up to the collab stage, you kept going back and forth on whether to reach out or not, despite now being in possession of her contact info. What would you even say? Thoughts of a witty one-liner or relatable meme came to mind, but maybe she'd assume the worst - that you were clout-chasing, or something. Anxieties abuzz, your phone vibrated in your pocket. The KaTalk notification sprawled across your screen. Speak of the devil, it's her.

"Hey, awards season has me stressed. I know you must pretty busy right now too, but I somehow get off early tomorrow if you wanna grab dinner after work?" You had to reread that one. Oh, what? She's inviting me?

Trying not to be weird about responding too quickly, you typed out, "Wow, yeah, that sounds great! ^^ wait, your company doesn't care about you going out to eat during award season?"

"nah, they stopped having that kind of control over us a while ago, we are the money-maker of the company, after all 😏"

"so I guess this means they don't check your phone either ㅋㅋㅋ"

"nope :)"

You proceeded to set a time and place to meet, someplace with meat.

In the process of feasting on an inordinate amount of gopchang imbued with a splash of beer, you learned a fair amount about each other. You talked career, professional aspirations, the weird habits of your members, and more. What surprised you most was the amount of things she already knew about you, having admitted to watching some of your behind-the-scenes content after seeing your interview clip.

"Ah... I'm sorry if I came across as distant during that first recording session," she confessed, pausing to sip her beer. "I honestly didn't know what to do with myself, I felt a little star-struck."

"Oh what?? I felt the exact same, so no worries - and sorry if I came off similarly distant," you rambled back. A bit of silence fell between you, acknowledging the mutual sentiment. You spoke up after a bit, "Thanks for inviting me out tonight, I didn't realize how much I needed this."

"Thank you for making the time, I had fun getting to know you better," she articulated with a smile. "Maybe it'll make the collab stage better," she added on jokingly. You responded with a nod and expression of mutual affirmation.

~~~~

After that, messaging each other became a regular occurrence, that gopchang outing having broken the ice. Honestly, you tried your best to talk about anything besides work, but the baseline of shared understanding connected you in a way that came more naturally than it did with your non idol friends.

You stood across the way from her at the sound check for the final stage, dressed in joggers and slides. Funny to think that you'd be recording this for real in a couple hours, making eyes with the blinking red light on the cameras surrounding you. It sucks that fans wouldn't get to experience the energy and atmosphere of the performance - Hyejin alone is one thing, but adding someone else into her stage presence? Unmatched. There's nothing quite like a live performance - and while you knew everyone in the industry dealt with the consequences of the pandemic, it certainly took a toll to perform and not feel the energy from fans. But realistically, nothing you could do about it. The sound check went over smooth like butter. The stage chemistry came flowing naturally between you both, even when bare-faced and dressed in just sweats.

And when the time came for the actual filming, you both absolutely killed it, an upbeat mash-up of TWIT and your title track. At the very end came a sliver of hesitation before throwing your arms around each other with a big smile for the ending fairy, proud of the work you accomplished together, and a mental fist-pump to yourself for making friends with one of the industry's finest.

Once again walking to a restaurant that served mostly meat to celebrate, you playfully proposed, "We... should do that again sometime." A little puff of air came out her nose in amusement.

"Yeah, we should. Too bad we're gonna have to wait a whole cycle before we can release anything else together again," she sighed longingly.

"Who says we can't do something on our own?"

#did not know how to end oops #mamamoo x reader #hwasa x reader #mamamoo hwasa #ahn hyejin #hwasa fanfic #hwasa imagines #hwasa #mamamoo fic #mamamoo imagines #mamamoo scenarios #girl group fanfic #girl group imagines #girl group scenarios #kpop #kpop fic #gg fic #gg fanfic #requested