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glimmervoi · 2 days

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A SEALED FATE: EMERALDS AND BLOOD - VI The Beginning of the Winter Ball

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e&b masterlist

notes: phew, that took forever for me to write ;-; i was really struggling with this one and Idk why because i was so excited to write it when i left off at the last chapter. oh well, it's up now - i hope you all enjoy it!! cant wait to get the next chapter up :D

The winter ball was a beautiful and lively event, full of laughter and music. It was a gathering that everyone in the kingdom wished to attend. Guests from all over the Kingdom waltzed around in beautiful, sparkling gowns and suits made by the best tailors that could be hired.

The ballroom, now finally finished and filled with these beautiful guests, was just as mesmerizing. The musicians positioned near the center of the room played a merry song as the guests excitedly mingled and sipped from thin, long stemmed glasses full of pale sparkling wine.

The ball was just beginning, and already you were impressed. Of course, you were more alarmed at the fact that you were even witnessing it, but it was truly a sight for someone who grew up in such a poor village.

You weren’t supposed to be serving at the ball tonight. You had been told by Rae that the service maids would be handling it, and that you would have the night off. You had been relieved, and had promptly made plans to visit the stables to finally see if you could find the man that you had met days prior.

You were almost certain that he was a stableboy from the way he was dressed, although when you had mentioned the handsome man to Rae, she hadn’t remembered anyone by that description. Still, you had to at least check.

He had been on your mind ever since your first meeting, and you had found yourself constantly craving that electric, bubbly feeling that had filled you when he was around. Your plans to go to the stables had been crushed as soon as you had entered the maids chambers to change though, as Sanria had been waiting for you.

An hour later, and you were standing in the small kitchen adjacent to the ballroom, looking through the open door at the guests as they laughed and enjoyed themselves.

Sanria had already left to return to her own duties, promising you a painful beating with the thin wooden rod that she kept tucked in her apron if you made any mistakes or pissed off Iseul, the head of the service maids.

Iseul, though not as intimidating as Sanria, was still not someone who you wished to anger. The young, raven haired woman had a deep frown on her lips, and her thin frame was tensed as if she were prepared to yell at any second. She had her own wooden rod tucked into her black apron.

The maid next to her, a bubbly blonde, was her polar opposite. Isabella, she had said her name was. After the initial shock of being told by Sanria that you had been requested by someone to serve at the ball, she had helped you push your stiff limbs into the all black service dress and frilly apron, a uniform only used for special events.

Even though she didn’t say anything in Sanria’s presence, she seemed to understand your confusion, discomfort, and alarm at the prospect of serving so many important people during such a large event while still being so new in the castle, while also wondering who had requested such an inexperienced servant for such a large event.

You had no choice but to shake off the feeling and try to steel your nerves. If you didn’t, you risked getting into more trouble. If you tried to be confident and sure of yourself, you had a higher chance of luck.

So, you watched silently as Isabella and Iseul filled two sleek black trays with the tall thin glasses full of sparkling wine, willing the slight tremble in your fingers to stop. Iseul didn’t bother to even look at you when she was finished. She simply snapped her fingers and turned, preparing to set another tray.

Isabella turned her kind eyes to you, nodding her head in approval when you approached. “Have you ever held a tray full of glasses like this?” She asked, her voice sweet. Her presence was comforting, and you found your shoulders relaxing slightly. You shook your head.

“It’s easy, really.” She said, sliding the tray from the table and onto her waiting hand. The liquid in the glasses barely wobbled, and she held the tray with ease despite there being at least ten glasses resting on its surface. “Just carefully slide it onto your palm. Don’t go too fast or too slow, though. It can practically sense your fear when you do it that way.”

Your brows furrowed, and you gently tugged on the edge of the tray. Not too fast, not too slow. So, just right. You hoped you would get Just Right on the first try, before Iseul turned and witnessed you dropping an entire tray of wine on the ground.

You tugged the tray onto your hand, like Isabella had, wincing when the wine nearly threatened to spill from the edge of the glass. The blonde nodded her approval and gave you a small smile. “Perfect.” She said, brushing a stray droplet off the surface of your tray.

“Now, when you go up to serve someone, you must first bow your head like this,” Isabella demonstrated by dipping her chin lightly, her eyes cast downward. A respectful and simple action.”Then, ask them if they would like a glass. If they ask what the wine is, it is a Sparkling Snowdrop from Shivermaw. It’s their specialty.”

You faintly remembered the name, Shivermaw. One of the girls a few beds down from yours was born there, but had left due to the crumbling economy of the winter city. Supposedly, the Duke and Duchess were doing just fine, and so were the wealthier inhabitants of the city. But the further out from the city's main area you got, the poorer the families were. And, that wasn't even considering the rural villages, comparable to your own.

You shook the thoughts of Shivermaw from your head and nodded at Isabella. “Alright, ready?” She asked quietly, approaching the doorway of the kitchen. You swallowed, wanting to tell her you weren’t, and that you just wanted to go to bed. But you followed her, again staring into the beautiful ballroom.

“Ready.” You said quietly. Then, you were both entering the ballroom. The music was louder, and so were the voices of the guests. The smells of their perfumes hit you a little harder, and suddenly it felt like the air in your lungs was gone.

So many people. You thought to yourself, trying to steady your breathing. It had been one thing to simply peer in from the outside. But to actually stand in it? Your legs began to shake. You were terrified. All it would take was one mistake, and Sanria would pull the rod from her apron. Standing in the ballroom made it feel more real than it had when you had only caught glimpses of it. The fear hadn’t hit you as hard as it did now that you were actually there.

Isabella seemed to sense your anxiety, and gently nudged your arm with hers. “Hey.” She murmured quietly. You looked into her bright eyes, your breath coming out shakily.

“Pretend that you’ve been doing this for years. As long as you pretend to be confident, they’ll never know the difference. They just want to get drunk, gorge out on the food, and then fuck each other.” She said, giving you a small grin.

Yes, she was right. They wouldn’t even look at you most likely. You were just a servant. You had one simple task. You took a deep breath, and gave her a small, half-hearted grin in return. “I’ll start on the right side, you start on the left?”

Isabella nodded, giving you a look of encouragement. There were already other maids, dressed like you were, who were handing out drinks on the right side of the room. You scanned the space, trying to track which guests did not have glasses in their hands.

You decided to approach a beautiful, ivory skinned woman with blonde hair the color of the sun. Her blush colored gown was beaded with so many pearls, you were surprised she could move around with so much weight attached to the fabric.

You bowed your head, just as Isabella had showed you, and offered her a glass of the wine. She paused her conversation with a handsome, dark skinned man and looked down at you, her face morphing from flirtatious to disgusted. She didn’t even bother to respond as she angled her back towards you, continuing her conversation.

You tried to brush off the annoyance and embarrassment that washed over you and turned, next making your way over to an older woman with graying hair. Her deep blue gown was much more simple but still caught the light beautifully. You bowed your head to her and once again offered up a glass of wine from your tray.

“Thank you, dear.” She said quietly, accepting the glass. You nodded again, pleased. You backed away, allowing her to drink her wine in peace. Slowly, you handed out your entire tray of wine.

For the next hour, you performed your own waltz to the melody that the musicians created in the center of the room. It had only five steps; go to the kitchen. Retrieve a new tray from Iseul, who still did not utter a word to you. Return to the ballroom. Hand out the wine. Return to the kitchen and repeat.

On your eighth tray, finally, Iseul stopped you. You had reached for the fresh tray, but she put her hand on it harshly. “Let Nidora take it.” She said, her voice raspy. You retracted your hand and allowed the tiny redhead to take the tray, her eyes not meeting yours.

“Is everything alright?” You asked quietly, resting your hands behind your back. You had thought you were doing very well, seeing as you had no experience with service.

Iseul sat the dark blue wine bottle that she had been opening down and looked at you, her eyes holding nothing but disdain and hate. “I don’t like you.” She said flatly, causing your brows to shoot up.

“O-oh.” you said, fumbling for a better response. Everyone was entitled to their own feelings but…you hadn’t done anything to the head maid. Why was she stopping you to tell you this now?

There was a few seconds of awkward silence, before Iseul finally spoke again.

“The only reason you’re here is because a Prince specifically requested you.” She said, crossing her arms across her chest. You took a step back, stunned by her words. Your mind instantly shot to Namjoon. He had been the only Prince to speak to you, and it was only a single order…had you bothered him in any way?

Rae hadn’t acted as though anything was off…surely she would have told you if you had done something wrong? And if you had then why would he request you? Wouldn’t he want to not see your face? Unless - he was planning on punishing you in front of the entire ballroom?!

You began to shake. What could you have possibly done to anger him like that? He had received the right tea from Rae. Had he wanted you specifically to serve it? Would that really be enough to make him want to punish you in front of an entire ballroom?

Iseul snorted at your bloodless face, her smile cruel. “You’re just like that whore Kassie. You slept with one of them, didn't you?” She asked, leaning forward. “Now my neck is on the line. If you mess up, it comes back to me. If I wanted to get stuck with an inexperienced cleaning maid, then I would have just taken Rae’s position-”

“What are you talking aboutI?” You asked, cutting her off. You braced your shaking hands on the counter that she had been working on and leaned forward, panicked. “I haven't been sleeping with anyone!”

Iseul’s nostrils flared, and she uncrossed her arms, snatching the bottle of wine from the counter. “Your reaction tells me that you’re lying.” She said coldly, resuming her task of pouring the wine into the glasses. “I want you to know that if you make a single mistake, I will be the one beating you. And my rod is much more painful than Sanria’s.”

You tried to open your mouth to defend yourself again, to question her - but she cut you off before you could get a single word out. “I do not care about your excuses.” She said, venom dripping from her lips. “Just get back out there and do your job. And do not fuck it up.”

You recoiled, flinching when she shoved a tray towards you. You knew that the dark haired maid wasn’t bluffing. If you messed up, she would know. And, standing there in an attempt to argue or get answers from her would only piss her off more. She was convinced that you were…involved, with a Prince. She had already made her mind up. It was best for you to try to brush it off and return to your duties.

Shakily, you slid the fresh tray into your hand and made your way to the doorway, peering in. You were tense again, just as you were the first time you entered the crowded room. If Namjoon had requested you then you wanted to avoid the tall prince as much as you could. Though, you hadn’t seen him all night. Maybe it was a blessing, or maybe it was his plan to catch you off guard…?

You tried to steady yourself again as you noted the change in the atmosphere in the ballroom. The tables were now being rearranged as guests ran around with metal keys in their hands. It was the key matching game…

Your mind shot to the stableboy from before, and you frowned. You would have preferred being around him than in the mess that you were in now. You pushed forward and began handing out wine to the newly formed couples that stood and flirted, their keys glinting under the candlelight.

You managed to empty two more trays, your stomach still uneasy from your interaction with Iseul, before a familiar tingling feeling began to flow through your veins. You reflexively gripped your empty tray as you looked around, a small shudder flowing through your back.

Then, a warm hand was on your shoulder. A warm voice whispered close to your ear, “I finally found you.” And you whipped around, your cheeks heating at the proximity. In front of you stood the stableboy that had lived in your mind for days, looking even more handsome than before.

You found yourself smiling and opened your mouth to ask him what he was doing there, why he was there instead of the stables. The question halted in your throat as a golden glint caught your eye from atop his head. A crown…

He was wearing a crown.

#bts #yandere bts #yandere bts fic #bts fic #emeralds and blood #yandere hoseok #yandere jimin #yandere jin #yandere jungkook #yandere namjoon

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muwapsturniolo · 11 hours

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✯𝐓𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐀𝐬 𝐌𝐲 𝐅𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬✯

IN WHICH... i explain my fav songs of the month and how they match with the triplets.

WARNINGS: sex is briefly talked about but its nothing really.

𝐀𝐋𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐄𝐆𝐎 ☆ 𝐃𝐎𝐄𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐈 𝐅𝐓 𝐉𝐓

I want to start by saying why this is one of my fav songs at the moment. I love Doechii THE BITCH ALWAYS SERVES CUNTTTTTTTT!!!!! this song just does sum to me, it makes me want to go to the ballroom and vouge and do five death drops in a row! the beat, the lyrics, THE MUSIC VIDEO! it reminds me sm of Azelia Banks (that hoe so problematic it's not even funny anymore) and i love it!

now on to why i think this song is perfect for nick

an alter ego is basically a persons second face/persona that we don't see until it's time for it to come out. and one thing i think a lot of people in this fandom forgets is that WE DON'T KNOW THEM! we as viewers have this image of them in our head based off of what they let us see through a screen, and nick doesn't let us forget that. he has stated many times that most of our opinions are wrong (them not being friends with people, la vs Boston debate etc.) and i think that's important.

I'm not saying nick has an alter ego or is two faced,but he is a leo man and them mfs headstrong! and that's what this song breathes!!! it gives a headstrong bad bitch that nobody can say shit to!!! THAT IS NICK!!! NICK ALWAYS PUTTING US AND OTHERS IN PLACE AND ITS NEEDED!!!

"NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH THESE HOES AINT PHASIN ME. NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH BOO BOO BITCH YOU DEAD TO ME" nick does not let this fandom phase him fr. he does wtf he wanna do when he wanna do it. of course he loves us and appreciates us, but he not with our bull shit!!

"UNFAZED UNBOTHERED UNFUCKWITHABLE BITCH, WHY BOTHER?" a lot of people like to sit up here and run they mouth saying nick is so bothered, and he cares too much about what people think. LIE!!!!! YALL JUST DONT UNDERSTAND HIM!!! HES UNFAZED WITH THE BULL SHIT, IT DON'T BOTHER HIM FR!!! HE FINDS THE SHIT FUNNY! HE LIKE MAKING YALL TALK ABOUT HIM BUT HE DONT UNDERSTAND WHY YALL START WITH HIM AND HIS FAMILY IN THE FIRST PLACE.

"IM THE PROBLEM, IM THE VILLIAN. I DONT SEE THESE HOES IN THESE RICK SHEILDS, THROWIN DIRT ON MY NAME AND HE GON HIT STILL!" people love to make nick the villain when he isn't!!! some people fr never had somebody tell them how it is and they just run with the narrative that someone is being mean when they not!!! he not being mean, he keeping it a buck fifty with yall!!! and tbh he don't care if yall see as the villain cuz why? he still got more money than us and we never gon be on his level fr.

@thenickgirl had to let ppl know to stop messing with him!!!!

𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐈'𝐒 𝐉𝐄𝐀𝐍𝐒 ☆ 𝐁𝐄𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐅𝐓 𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐄

i want to say this before i start. BEYONCE PUT HER WHOLE MF COOCHIE INTO COWBOY CARTER OMFGGGG!!!! IM SECRECTLY A WHORE FOR COUNTRY MUSIC SO I REALLY FEEL LIKE SHE MADE THIS ALBUM FOR ME!!!

OK LET'S GET INTO IT NO DOJA!

this description is going to be a bit different from Nick's and Chris's because I'm focusing more on the vibe of the song. the whole premise of this song (in my opinion) is two lovers just loving on each other! idk why i get big Matt vibes from this song😭 maybe because i love the idea of Cowboy Matt (before anyone say anything I'm making a Cowboy Matt series! it's already being written!) and yeah i don't have to say much more on that topic.

like yall know when Matt be smiling and giggling at his phone in car videos? i could already imagine his girlfriend sending him a pic of her ass in the new jeans and he just-

lemme stop before i write a whole separate fic for this song.

"YOU CALL ME PRETTY LITTLE THING, AND I LOVE TO TURN HIM ON." matt would deff call his girl a pretty little thing. she would be blushing and kicking her feet an ion blame her!!! and i too would love to turn him on!!

"BOY ILL LET YOU BE MY LEVI JEANS SO YOU CAN HUG THAT ASS ALL DAY LONG" matt would not resist looking at his gf ass and he would deff walk with his hand in her back pocket!!

"SO HOP OUT THE PHONE AND BRING THAT SHIT ON 'CAUSE IM GOING NOSEDIVE" matt the munch. pussy drunk. hurry tf up and bring your ass to him cause he bout to eat you out for hours!!!

thank you for coming to my ted talk on why Cowboy Matt is my fav and i need Matt eating me out ASAP!!!

𝐋𝐔𝐒𝐓 ☆ 𝐋𝐈𝐋 𝐒𝐊𝐈𝐄𝐒

I PROMISE IM NOT ONE OF THE FANS WHO LOVES SKIES CUZ OF CHRIS!!! I WAS LISTENING TO SKIES WHEN LIFE OF A DARK ROSE DROPPED!! i truly loves skies cuz his music just takes me back to the era of SoundCloud and i was actually happy lmao.

onto the topic.

now, i didn't pick this song cuz chris loves skies, i picked it cuz i feel like to a certain degree, it matches chris perfectly!!! lust doesn't have to mean sex, it could be towards money, adrenaline, etc.

Although Skies does talk about sex in this song, i think he's saying that he's lusting after money and the adrenaline that comes with fame and success, but he's lacking the love that was once there and he's lusting for love as well.

i think that relates to chris's whole being. he's constantly spitting out ideas and created his own brand to chase the bag, chase his dreams. i lowkey like to believe chris is an adrenaline junky. not in a sense of jumping off cliffs or anything, more in a sense of just doing stupid shit like fighting with his brothers and suggesting crazy plans.

idk if my description of this makes any sense i just can't put it into words so imma do the lyrics and try to explain further.

"GET IN MY WAY AND TRY TO BLOCK ME IMMA SHOW AGRESSION" this could be towards a person or himself. I'm not saying chris is money hungry, he's just about his bag. he wouldn't like for anyone, including himself to get in the way of making his dreams come true and if they do, i think he gets a bit hostile. it could be him cutting them off, or simply just distancing himself for a bit. if it's himself i think that's when he gets sad and beats himself up. he said it in a few videos that he becomes hard on himself, or he gets sad before bed and i think that's why.

"GOT NO REGRETS, I MADE MISTAKES, BUT I LEARNED FROM MY LESSONS" this lyrics speaks volumes for chris!!!! i feel like it was said by him that he doesn't regret things he's done in the past or experienced, but he's glad he's learned from them. i think all of them are big on "life's a lesson, learn from it." he doesn't dwell too much on the past, it's done and all he can do is move past it and learn to not make the same mistake with people or opportunities.

"DON'T BE ACTING STARSTRUCKED EVERYTIME THEY SHOW YOU LOVE." this could be towards friendships or relationships. it's no secret LA is full of fake people but it's honestly everyone at this point in time. i think chris realized that at some point. just because people smile in your face and act nice don't mean the friendship/relationship is real. people always want something, and its not always love, it could be sex, money, and or fame. it doesn't surprise him anymore. i think that's why he stick to who and what he knows, especially in the relationship sense.

i think imma do this every month, this was fun lmao. tell me what yall fav songs are atm!!!

TAGLIST 🍑

@bernardsgf @bernardsleftbootycheek @blahbel668 @mattfrfr @gdsvhtwa @sturniolo-aali @lily-loves-struniolos @kynda-avery @causeidontlikeagoldrush

@st7rnioioss @carolinalikesthings @mattslolita @suyqa @xxloveralways14 @pepsiimaxx @judespoision

@ivonchetooo1239 @imaslut4kehlani @that-general-simp @m4stermindd @itzdarling @gigisworldsstuff @adoreindie @braindead4l @pettydollie @chrissgirlsstuff @alexis007 @ratatioulle @yamamasjumpercables @luv4kozume @sturnioloslurps @kqyslyho3 @j3tblackt3ars @ilovestarz @lustfulslxt @soimightlikeoldmen69 @tastesousweet @slut4sebastiansallow @whicked-hazlatwhore @stasiesturn @loljackwasfat @nicksmainbitch @ninacutebee16 @mayhem-72 @sturniolosmind @breeloveschris @mattslolita @mattsivy @guccifrog @hysteria-things @mrssturnioloo @koris_009 @patscorner @mayhem-72 @worldlxvlys @nickuniversity @luverboychris @thenickgirl @riasturns @imwetforyourmom @junnniiieee07 @realuvrrr @milasturniolo @fwskullz @hearts4tatemcrae @mattandchrismakemewett @chrissystur @canthelpit0 @strnilo @demistyles @junovrsmp4 @heartsforchrisandmatt @maryx2xx @vecnasnose0 @freshsturns @xxsturnxx @pettydollie @crimsoncorpse @sturnssmuts @sturniolovoid @m0r94n

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placeinthisworld · 1 day

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ttpdta review part one 🤠

let me preface this by stating that i am a swiftie first and person second in this situation. i have grown up with taylor and feel as if shes my big sister- yes i can make fun of her but if i see anyone else do it i will get fiercely protective. i do understand her music is not only art but also her form of therapy. that being said, throughout these nonsense notes i am constantly mentioning that taylor should go to therapy. i am aware of what she has said about therapy (and why she doesn’t go) but i would beg to differ with her…especially after this album release lol.

taylor is an extraordinary storyteller and song writer. i believe this album is full of evidence of that, but it also has some faults that prevent from being as good as i felt like it could have been. overall the album feels rushed.

i also feel like it’s important to recognize the elephant in the room. i know we probably all expected this to be a joe breakup album, so the fact that it turned out to be a “fuck you matty healy” album shook us all a little bit. i know matty had a controversial history, im not gonna sit here and defend him. i don’t know much about him other than what is forced against my will. i do however know that he struggles with mental health issues/ substance abuse/ addiction. i’m not gonna comment much about his personal issues, i don’t feel like that’s right and taylor’s constant references to drugs throughout ttpd definitely rubs me the wrong way. i should also mention i grew up with an active addict and do view things from that perspective, so i feel slightly triggered by the topic and my feelings about that may just be personal but i do mention that in my notes when it’s relevant.

lastly, i am not a music production girlie idk shit lol. i only know i am a aaron dessner stan so any song with his name im already biased towards and i am aware, if u don’t like that idk what to tell u lol. i just know what i feel like is “good” or “bad” but music is subjective🫶🏻

1. Fortnight:

Hate the functional alcoholic part. Like the beat, the chorus is catchy. One thing i love about a taylor swift song is that theres always a story and its always visual. I like the metaphor of the “good neighbors” of like having this teasing/ longing feeling for someone that you could have had a life with. “Your wife waters flowers/ i want to kill her + my husbands cheating/ i want to kill him” feeling like you were robbed of her life, feeling “all my mornings are mondays stuck in an endless february” reminiscing about the short period of time where you were together and convinced it would last forever (only for it to end before it even started). I do not listen to much post malone but i enjoyed his verse!! So many florida references we get it everything bad happens in florida.

i have not seen the video yet oooopsies

2. Ttpd:

i thought this was the opening of Hey Stephen (the remix) or something at first. gotta say i absolutely love the way she sings “you left your typewriter at my apartment/ straight from the tortured poets department” i enjoyed the vibe of this song, and lyrics up until the “you smoked then ate seven bars of chocolate (OKAY SOOOOOOO ME CODED NGL I LAUGHED at this point i could let this lyric slide- bit then she had to mention the charlie puth and golden retriever thing and ngl it almost ruins the song entirely for me. Tbh when i first listened to the leak i thought this was a fake AI song and that i was sending around a fake leak bc these lyrics started to get a little weird to me. ‘Sometimes i wonder if youre gonna screw this up with me/ but you told lucy you’d kill yourself if i ever leave” …………girl i am begging you to see a therapist (side note did anyone else have a friend in hs whos bf would say that shit a lot?? I remember straight up fighting with a friend who refused to break up w her bf bc he would threaten to end his own life is she did and he was like 16? If an adult is saying that same shit i would be Very concerned not gossiping about it???) “i chose this cyclone with you” my first reaction was: ride the cyclone the musical? Overall i liked the first half but you lost me at charlie puth (hes the one with eyebrow right? I think i get him and miles teller mixed up) (i dont know who either of these men are)

3. My boy only breaks his favorite things:

Okay tbh i thought this was gonna be one of my least favorites, but the total opposite happened. I think this is one of my top 5 favorites on this album. I do think that there is a difference between a poem and a song and that they are not always interchangeable. I feel like if this was edited into a poem it would be KILLER. The visuals, the the story, the vocabulary, the sadness in it. “Im queen of sandcastles he destroys/ There was danger in the heat of my touch/ once i fix me/ hes gonna miss me/ i felt more when we played pretend then with all the kens / cause he took me out of my box” i feel like ever since folklore, taylors been trying to push these big fancy words and sometimes it feels awkward and forced, but this is one of the rare songs that doesn't suffer from that.

4. Down bad:

meh. Chorus is catchy. I dont love the narrative “fuck it if i cant have him/ i might just it would make no difference” but i also have never once experienced that over a person before lmao……….taylor go to therapy. Nothing really stands out about this to me otherwise. No offense, but it sounds like a generic jack antonoff song lol. Like maybe if another artist released this, i would enjoy it more but idk i wouldnt expect it from taylor i guess. Just kinda feels boring to me sorry if u enjoy it <3

5. So long, london:

oh man were done with british men now for real for real. “ two graves one gun. I'll find someone” its over for joe and matty (but thats fine if all she has to say about joe is what i think she said on this album i am happy i think We Get It…) Aaron dessner i love u (remember when he reposted me on his ig ahh).”i kept calm and carried the weight of the rift/ pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away” + “I stopped trying to make him laugh/ stopped trying to drill the safe/ i didnt opt in to be our odd man out/ im pissed off you let me give you all of that youth for free” oof i FELT that one a LITTLE too hard. I think this is both a song about matty and joe- i think she had a life and an attachment to london just in general through both relationships, “im just mad as hell because i loved this place” and so reflecting back on how both are over and how all those plans with either are done. “You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days” OKAY kinda hate this phrase bc it feels like shes placing blame on whomever’s mental health/ depression, like as if they made the conscious decision to sacrifice the relationship solely. This very much feels like “how much sadness did you think i could take before i got bored???” overall top favorite songs bc it doesnt have too many cringey or odd lyrics and the production is 10/10 thank u aaron dessner ilysm king

6. But daddy i love him:

tbh when i got the leak this was the first song i listened to bc i thought it was gonna be the worst one and i wanted to get it over with (i was RIGHT until she dropped that second half……..) and i DIDNT have the lyrics obviously so i couldnt for the life of me figure out if she really said “im having his baby…..NO IM NOT!” until the VERY end of the song and bro…….the cringe. The cringe. The cringe. This is also when i started to question if this was real or if i was passing out a fake leak, lol. I dont understand how she could be saying this shit about matty. And like we all know it lol. “Sometimes growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all” …….but like does it??? I feel like thats kinda an oxymoron or something like i understand what shes trying to say and MOST of the time her metaphors and comparisons make sense to me but like this one doesnt. Growing up precocious means to grow up more advanced in maturity, how would that also mean not growing up at all? Is it just me getting stoned and overthinking things? “Ill tell you something about my good name/ its mine alone to disgrace” true that bestie ur doin a great job by being so politically quiet over the past couple of yeats after making a whole asss documentary about wanting to be on the right side of history. But I digress i am just one of those bitches performing soliloquies you'll never see. Overall this song is very weird and cringey imo and i wish it stayed in whatever vault it was sitting in lol.

7.Fresh out of the slammer: “In the shade of how he was feeling” -_- dont like this narrative already. I could honestly go on a rant about why i dont like this song but im going to spare for the sake of my sanity in this review of thirty one fucking songs but its along these lines “to the one who says im the girl of his american dreams” oh brother. otherwise i dont care for many of the lyrics, the chorus/ melody/vibe is mid i guess. It sounds like another jack song (i was right)

8. Florida!!!: “all my friends smell like weed or little babies” okay i know what she was trying to say but im SORRY you cant tell me she couldnt think of ANY other way to say her friends are either parents partiers lmao. Deserves jail for that but luckily the vibe and the chorus of the song are really catchy and florence’s voice is beautiful in it. “Well me and my ghost we had a hell of a time/ yes im haunted but im feeling just fine” CHILLS i loved it. I didnt think i would like this song but (maybe as much as i like no body, no crime which is meh) but no i lowkey love this song and think its really fun. Once again the drug references start to get heavy here in the album and like i mentioned i do get slightly triggered by drug mentions.

9. Guilty as sin?:

okay taylor we get it you masterbate. Another strong jack song and it’s pretty similar to others on the album so nothing besides the sexual lyrics stand out.

10. Whos afraid of little old me?:

“if you wanted me dead you should have just said/ nothing makes me feel more alive” ooooooooooh i love that. I feel like a live or an acoustic version of this song would give me CHILLS. “Is it a wonder i broke / lets hear one more joke/ then we can all laugh until i cry” honestly so relatable, “i was tame, i was gentle til the circus life made me mean” oh :( that hurt bc it just reminds me of the vibe shift during midnights era/ eras tour where it *feels* like she started to pull back from being taylor swift and started to become Taylor Swift (™) and the way her fans/ media has treated her made her mean or cold or something and that just makes me feel sad. “Whos afraid of little old me? You caged me and then you called me crazy! I am what i am cause you trained me! SO. WHOS. AFRAID. OF ME? Again the narcotics line kinda makes me feel icky but thats bc i have that thing about drugs and just dont LOVE all the references to them. Like i know its not that serious but theres a reason why i dont seek out artists that typically talk or write about that stuff ya know so its weird. Overall i think the production is one of the most unique ones on this part of the album.

11. I can fix him (no really i can):

i hate it all around i think. I hate the narrative of “i can fix him!! I can handle a dangerous man!!! No really i can!!!” there is a reason why this song is barely 3 mins long lol it should have been cut but i think taylor wanted to Be Edgy. i dont care for the productions or the lyrics, its very forgetful imo.

12. Loml:

okay i really thought this was gonna be a joe song (rip) so i was thinking it was gonna be really deep and sad and like it IS but with the context of it being the pt 2 fling with matty it doesnt seem like it now. Anyone who thinks this is not about matty please look at the lyrics and be so serious “whos gonna stop us from waltzing back into reklndled flames/ if we know the steps anyway” I think matty just said too much shit to taylor during their fling and taylor WAS truly convinced this her invisible string and he promised her a lot that he couldnt upkeep and ghosted her and she took it SUPER hard, i mean two breakups in one year is a lot (me, whos never been through a single breakup once). I just dont understand how she feels like matty is the greatest loss of her life. One of my favorite tracks on the album, “our field of dreams engulfed in fire/ your arsons match your somber eyes” a LOT of these lyrics are actually really good imo. I think im the only one that didnt find the “mr. steal your girl and make her cry” line idk i thought it was actually kinda neat, the phrasing of it, kinda contradicts the title “love of my life” because he was never that serious or respectful of her and only use her from the beginning. This is another song that i think would make KILLER poem over song. Overall i think the piano is haunting and a live version of this will make me die, thank u again aaron dessner 10/10

13. I can do it with a broken heart:

ngl i thought this was the opening to mastermind for a hot second- also gave me a scare on whether or not this was a fake leak lol. Catchy ass chorus but very YOYOK. “Breaking down i hit the floor/ All the pieces of me shattered/ as the crowd was shouting “more!” ooffffffff seeeeee that is exactly WHAT i was afraid she was feeling durning the eras tour after the joe breakup/ matty situation and all these stupid twitter and tik tok swiffers were out here overanalyzing EVERYTHING and demanding rep tv like every other day. “Im so depressed i act like its my birthday” …….okay taylor. Like a lot of people have said, i think she interchanges “depressed” for “sad” a lot and the two are not the same. I think taylor wrote this song (but specifically the “i cry a lot time but i am so productive” and was like “yup this part is gonna go viral on tik tok,” initially i wrote “feels like taylor saw that depression barbie commercial in barbie 2023 and wrote a song based on that” lol which i still agree with. Overall the production of this screams midnights reject lol, very jack antonoff. Over time this song has grown on me a lot. Originally i didnt care for it but now its kind of a bop but i think its bc its so similar to YOYOK. “Try and come for my job” @taylorswift deadass you couldn’t think of anything else to say instead. cmon. I was mostly on board until that very last part, just seemed very cheesy lol like its not a big deal but i thought it delivered well without it.

14. The smallest man who ever lived:

(aaron thank u for saving me and this entire album) “they just ghosted you/ now you know what it feels like” OUCH. “i dont even want you back i just want you to know/ if rusting my sparkling was the goal/ and i dont miss what we had but can someone give/ a message to the smallest man who ever lived” oh this was somber af. I am obsessed with the phrasing of the chorus. I also LOVE taylors deeper voice its def giving me the same feelings MTR gave me from folklore, that made me CRY and this was very similar. This is another classic taylor song that i could EASILY write like a ten page essay about if someone put a gun to my head. I know that its about a *romantic* relationship, but it feels general enough to be able to relate to anyone who is close to someone with an addiction or struggles with substances. A lot of addicts dont understand the impact of their addiction or their behaviors that they display while struggling. To meeeeee, this feels very much like “you were self centered and betrayed my trust, was any of this true? Real? Am i paranoid or is this that deep?” “it wasnt sexy once it wasnt forbidden” has me thinking lots of things. I think that describes taylors “type”if that makes sense? Like i said i would need to literally break this song down line by line like its ridiculous i have too many thoughts about this song i have listened to it on repeat six times by the time im typing this. “In public showed me off/ then sank in stoned oblivion” FUCK. “you treat her like an also-ran” honestly i have never heard of that phrase/word thank u dr. swift. “Were you sent by someone who wanted me DEAD/ did you sleep with a GUN underneath OUR BED/ were you writing a BOOK?/ were you a sleeper cell SPY? IN 5O YEARS WILL THIS BE ALL DECLASSIFIED?/ AND YOU’LL CONFESS WHY YOU DID IT!/ AND ILL SAY GOOD RIDDANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” tears were formed besties. Also love the gracie abrams reference. “And you deserve prison but you wont get time” i feel like is very metaphorical like you DESERVE to be punished for what you did to me but you won’t admit to the guilt, you wont admit your wrongdoings, you wont admit that i would have done anything for you and you have no problem replacing me. “You said normal girls were boring/ but you were gone by the morning” first of all red flag girlie, nonetheless heartbreaking. “And in plain sight you hid/ but you are what you did” i say this with all the love in my heart, someone take taylor swift to a really good really private therapist. I could say more but i think i need to move on because i am now on my eighth cyle of listening to this song.

15. The alchemy:

already kinda hate it. “What if i told you im back/ the hospital was a drag/ worst sleep i ever had” do you think taylor swift has ever been admitted to a real hospital in this context. Feels very out of place and like i said earlier i dont love the psych ward visuals/ references she keeps inserting in this album. “He jokes its heroin but this time with an e” thanks! I fucking hate that line so much. Feels very icky, not funny. I get what shes going for but it falls so flat for me. The football references (yall know my opinion on meathead!!!!!!!! I will not engage!!!) are fucking dumb. Production is kinda lame and uninterested. Will only listen to this song if by force and will not repeat it ive head enough lets move on.

i have Lots Of Thoughts. i don’t think anyone cares about what i have to say though so i don’t think i’ll bother posting the rest lol but i did do a lot of work so ill post just a bit to make myself feel better.

#personal #ts ttpd #ttpd #the tortured poets department

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 5 months

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blurry sketchy puppets in a lime. line. limelight line

#having so much fun w/ these two In My Brain #peppy showman & her bodyguard horse #*unofficial bodyguard #they're platonic soulmates tho. thats important ive discovered #she's a bit of an arsonist. he's killed before and will do so again with no remorse. neither of them reach 4' in height #scribble garnish #forced idiots <3 #oc #original character #puppet oc #NOT WELCOME HOME. I AM HOLDING A LOADED SHOTGUN. THEY ARE NOT WH OCS #im still wishy washy on their relative sizes #i think sundown is too big...#also still wishy washy on her outfit's colors #maybe... blue gloves/boots & red tassels? idk!#anyway the correct song to put to this image would be the travel montage music from the first ice age #fuck what song was that #send me on my way I Think!

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sketchy-tour · 2 months

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Im SO slow with the update, I haven't actually poked at the secrets yet but I am LOSING MY MARBLES OVER WALLY SINGING AND SPECIFICALLY HIS SONG TOYLAND

Head in haaaaaands!!!!!

#welcome home #text post #just rambling #IT FEELS LIKE ITS ABOUT CHILDHOODS LOST #WHICH STRIKES ME JUST!!!!! AUGH TOO CLOSE!!!!!#holding my chest and wincing #he sings it with such!!!! care! There's something about the way he sings it that just feels like its important to him!!!!!!!!#HEARING HIM SING IS A DELIGHT BUT THIS JUST FEELS SO!!!!! THIS IS JUST!!!!! AUFFDKJFJK ACK!!!!!!#Singing a sort of longing of a feeling. A gentle warning #but also the transcript and lyrics of the song are different I notice. It doesn't mention “grow up” or “old” like the transcript #Idk why my brain honed in sO CLOSE to this song #I know there's wilder shit happening. Every ones talking about it but I'm sitting here....staring at Wally....thinking about toyland

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luck-of-the-drawings · 17 days

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[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]

saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS #REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT #NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS #THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS.#ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of #another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY..#i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her #idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had #when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them.#but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore.#but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think #i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow.#ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that #AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE #I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME #THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE #WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL #in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad #this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks-#-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl-#-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi #gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show #i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!!#anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM

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perfectly-clear-from-here · 8 months

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i swear to jesus, his mother and all the angels in fecking heaven if ONE more alex turner x reader oneshot comes up on my feed i'm going to go BALLISTIC. that man does not need me, he needs a lad sculpted by the gods with incredible guitar skills to throw him around till the sun comes up. preferably by the name of miles kane.

#the perils of following the alex turner tag #im not your target audience babes. ive got an otherworldly obsession with bands and their homoerotic tendancies.#FORGET ME GIVE HIM TO MILES #i wouldnt know what to bloody do with him!#so youre telling me if you were alone in a room with that man you wouldnt just stare at him like something in a museum and idk.#maybe ask him a few very important questions about a few very interesting songs like catapult and the jewellers hands and golden trunks??#anyway #milex forever #milex #alex turner

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analogwriting · 3 months

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Childhood Crush

Chapter 20: Adamantium

Killer x gn!reader word count: 3.2k a/n: this is completely different than anything i've published so far so hopefully it's okay ;a; next

Captain…where was the captain? Was he okay? He doubted so, that blast had been insane. Even with Killer moving in front to protect his captain - he didn’t stand any kind of chance. Shanks was just too powerful.

On his back, breathing heavy, staring at the sky above. He's praying to whatever deity, or maybe the universe, that this isn’t the end but he's pretty sure it might be. He tries to think of how he got here; all the events that led up to this moment but he can't even form a coherent thought right now. He can’t even move to see if he can find his captain; hell, he can hardly keep his eyes open. They slowly flutter shut as the world around him goes black.

His heart feels like it's beating out of his chest. He never thought...he couldn't believe that he'd go out like this. Not this soon. He thought there'd be more of some kind of a fight; not being annihilated by a single blow. He’s searching for a lifeline he just can’t reach. His vision starts blurring as the light starts to fade. Water suddenly surrounds his body - did he fall into the ocean? He can’t even swim now, so he’ll probably end up sinking. He slowly falls unconscious once more.

Inhale. Exhale.

Looks like someone fished him out of the water, he can breathe but not easily. With each inhale followed by its exhale, he swears his ribs are breaking. It wouldn't surprise him if they punctured his lungs soon. The pain, it’s unrelenting. He’s ready for the end if that means all of this would end… Going out at twenty-seven? He supposed he made it further than most pirates, but he still feels like he could’ve gone further. Voices can be heard, but he can’t make anything out. Again, his world goes black.

Suddenly, his life is flashing before his eyes like some kind of movie. The highs, the lows, his accomplishments, and everything that never happened; most of them are memories of you. There was so much that was unsaid - so much that he wanted to tell you. He had told himself he would finally tell you everything when you returned from Wano, but it seemed that wasn’t going to happen now.

Naturally, the first memory to surface was when he had met you. The captain and him had just gotten their asses handed to them by Victoria for laughing at her when she spilled brown curry all over herself. They had retreated to the captain’s house. Eustass had burst into his sibling’s room to declare not to come into his room, which, of course, would arouse suspicion for anyone. Not moments later, you had burst into the captain's room with such a confident look on your face that you had caught your brother doing something devious. You immediately swept him off his feet; had taken his breath away. It was love at first sight. He was certain he’d never seen anyone so radiant; his world had grown a little brighter that day.

It only grew from there. Seeing the way you cared for the captain and everyone else, it was admirable. You were patient with them; caring and kind. You never once complained about having everyone over or having so many mouths to feed. After all, it was only you providing for the lot of you for a long time. You had dropped out of school just to take care of the captain and you didn’t even bat an eye. You didn’t even hesitate to do what you needed to make sure that Eustass had everything he could ever need. You never once seemed to regret it. You were so strong in more ways than one.

The scene shifted to the first time you taught him how to cook. You taught him how to make spaghetti from scratch. You could've just bought box noodles, but you had gone the extra mile to really show off your own skills and show him how to really cook. You were patient with him despite him being really bad in the beginning. You never once lost your temper with him or raised your voice. Honestly, it's probably why spaghetti ended up being his favorite food - because it reminded him of you. Of the warmth you made him feel that day.

Each and every time you saved their asses from their own dumb decisions, it only solidified his love for you. You displayed such strength and grace when you fought, never once becoming overwhelmed, no matter how many opponents stood in your way. You always came out on top without hardly breaking a sweat. He admired you for that. You never hesitated in your actions. All they had to say was that someone was in trouble and you jumped into action with no questions asked; no complaints. Sure, there was teasing, but it was light hearted and you never meant it.

Eustass noticed Killer’s crush on you back on the island. He had been staring just a little too long one day and as Eustass had put it, “You just had a look on your face.” He had teased him relentlessly about it, but also kept pushing him to confess. Killer kept coming up with excuses as to why he couldn't. You probably only saw him as a brother as you did the others. The captain tried to argue that point; saying that the both of you acted more like a domestic couple than anything else. You both were practically parents of the other three.

The captain was actually the one who had given him the photo of you. It had been as a joke at first. "Take a picture, it lasts longer." It was a photo of you stitching up one of them, but you had been laughing at something that someone had said. Seeing you like that had taken his breath away. He loved it when you laughed, it was the most beautiful thing to him. He was so in love with you that it hurt.

Little did the captain know that Killer did end up keeping that photo. It stayed in his helmet - it was his treasure.

Heat and Wire caught on not long after and the teasing only grew worse from there. They had noticed when he started developing the habit of holding on to your hips whenever you would patch him up. Even still, he never said anything. He just thought you were out of his league, too good for him; much to everyone else’s dismay. They just wanted him to confess, but they weren’t about to do it for him.

When he had seen you near death in that alleyway - that was the first time Killer had experienced true anger. Someone pulling dirty tricks to get to you - you didn't deserve that. You never attacked out of turn, you had only ever attacked as defense. Never started a fight, just ended it. You were always just playing clean up. Cleaning up their messes and it had gotten you hurt. You were his ray of sunshine and he’d be damned if he was going to let anyone take that away from him. He felt like he had failed you that day somehow - like it was his fault you had ended up that way. He made a silent vow to make sure no one ever hurt you like that ever again.

After the attack, you weren’t the same. You were more skittish, had lost your sparkle and shine. All that confidence you had was gone. You did your best to pretend it didn't bother you, but he could see right through you. Aside from Eustass, no one could read you better than Killer. He still loved you with every ounce of his being, no matter what happened. He just wanted to hold you close and tell you that everything was alright, that he’d protect you from harm. Though, he still blamed himself somewhat for what happened, so he kept his distance.

Then he saw a shift in your personality out at sea. You had been growing your confidence back. You were happy and full of life again. You would cook with him, help your brother with some projects, even taught Heat and Wire how to smith. You still had your moments, but you seemed happy. You had your groove back for the most part. He was happy to see you in your element once more.

When you opened up to him on the island, his heart ached for you. Seeing you talk about yourself in such a manner, he couldn’t understand why you had thought that way. Everyone cherished you so much. It didn’t matter that you couldn’t fight anymore because you did everything in your power to help out wherever you could. He was determined to help you see just how much you meant to everyone; and for a moment, he thought it worked.

Something happened that created that drastic shift in your mood. Later, it was to be shown it was Kese, but at the time he couldn't understand. You started really pulling away and it had concerned everyone. No one knew what was going on. Everyone tried talking to you at one point or another, but you shut everyone out.

Then you announced you were going to leave the crew. It wasn't forever, but it ended up feeling like it. He had been upset just as Eustass had been, but he knew you had your reasons and he respected that. If this would help you, then he’d gladly let you take some time. After all, he said he’d never make you do something that you didn’t want to do.

It was during your departure that the terrible news came. The news that you had been taken from them far too soon. He was absolutely devastated just as the captain had been - everyone was. He felt like his world was crumbling. He did some stupid things - things he knew you would never have approved of - right along with the captain. The both of them held little value of their own lives, growing reckless in their actions.

The events of Wano then happened. He didn't recall too much of what happened in the snowfield. He wasn't fully himself when that happened and you were covered head to toe in robes.

But when you showed up, saving their asses just like you used to? Looking radiant and fantastic? He was pretty sure he had died and went to whatever heaven right then and there. He figured it had been a mix up cause there's no way he'd end up there, but as long as you were there, he didn't care. You looked like the guardian angel you had always been. The confidence you once held was back and he fell in love with you all over again. That shine, that sparkle, your shit eating grin, and cocky way you spoke - he had missed it so much.

He could hardly speak let alone move, he had been so glad he wore a helmet because he wouldn’t have been able to keep anything hidden. His heart would’ve been on his sleeve at that moment.

Both him and Eustass had honestly thought you were a hallucination after you left once again. They assumed they had just had a close run in with death and wanted to see you one more time so they both imagined you. Or your spirit had swooped down to save their asses one last time before ascending back to the heavens. There was just no way that they were that lucky - that the universe would bring you back to them just because.

Only to their surprise when you showed up with the rest of the crew. You were actually there - alive. You were smiling, laughing, and arguing with Eustass. Everything was right again. They both tried not to dwell on it too much because they both knew they wouldn’t be able to hold it together in the slightest.

He had wanted so badly to tell you how much he loved you - how much he always loved you. But, with what happened with the SMILE fruit, he just felt like he wasn't worthy of your love. Whatever confidence he had somehow gotten had been shattered because of the damn fruit. Insecurity took over, he felt like a monster. A monster you could never love.

Though, you never once showed an ounce of fear or disgust. Not even in the snowfields. That much he remembered. From the moment you had seen him both as Kamazo and as himself, both times he had only seen sympathy in your eyes. You saw right through his smile, you knew there was nothing but pain and sadness behind it. Even when you heard his hideous and terrible laugh, it didn’t seem to phase you in the slightest.

He had almost confessed to you that night in the kitchen. However, with everything else that happened and your welcoming aura, just you being back and in his arms, the miracle of you being alive, he broke down. You didn't judge him though, you didn't make him feel weak for doing so. It felt like the most natural thing, like it was okay for him to not be strong all the time, like he could finally let go. He felt he could relax again. You were there in his arms and safe. You held on to him in a way that gave him the resolve to keep going. He knew as long as you were around - things would be right. He could be content with just being by your side.

Then you dropped the bomb that you were staying behind again. The amount of anxiety he had felt when he first heard this was astronomical. Who was going to protect you? Why were you staying? Did you get into a fight with Eustass? He couldn't see why you'd want to stay. Especially not after what had happened last time. The excuse you gave the crew, he saw right through it. There was a reason you were staying but you weren’t telling anyone. Why?

It didn't help that you wouldn't tell him the truth either. What could it have been that you couldn't even tell him? You two had always been transparent with each other. The both of you always went to each other for everything. There were no secrets between the two of you. Well, except for his massive secret of being in love with you all this time.

Seeing the determination in your eyes, you had your heart set on it; and who was he to stop you from achieving whatever it was you had your heart set on? He knew it had to be important if it meant you'd be leaving the crew again. Eustass seemed to know why you were staying, but he also wouldn't tell anyone. It must have been a very good reason considering that the captain was a blabbermouth and couldn’t hardly keep any form of secret to himself. It also must have been a very good reason for him to allow you to stay behind.

Killer had tried to get the information out of him. And he almost did.

"I'll tell you, but only if you finally tell them how you feel."

That's what he had said and, dammit, he tried. Killer had never been one to convey his feelings in the least. He just wasn't good at it - especially when it came to you. You were just so perfect and so out of reach to him that when he tried any kind of confession, he ended up tongue tied. How could he admit his feelings for someone that he held so dear? What if everything went south? He couldn’t stand to lose you in any capacity - he wouldn’t be able to live with himself.

The night of the festival, he had taken the biggest risk he'd ever had. Sure, it started out of genuine concern. You were spiraling and he could tell - it had kind of been his fault for reopening such a fresh wound. He reached out, putting his hand on your thigh in an attempt to ground you. You seemed to come back and even welcome the touch. You visibly relaxed to his touch and he couldn’t help but…keep it there.

So, he decided to keep his hand there and you didn't push him away. That told him everything he needed to know. That little bit of contact that you allowed, and even seemed to enjoy, was more telling than words could give him. The both of you had always been able to communicate more silently. You were connected in that way. Words weren’t really needed.

Again, he didn't say anything. He didn't feel it was the right time. He didn't want you to feel like it was some last ditch effort to keep you on the ship. He decided that he'd finally say something whenever he saw you again - much to the captain's dismay. Eustass just wanted him to stop overthinking everything and get it out. Though, there seemed to be a silent agreement between you and Killer after that night. One that said there was going to be some kind of conversation when you were reunited.

And now, he'd never get the chance. You were in Wano, probably seeing the vivre card slowly burning, not knowing what to do. You told them not to go and get themselves killed, yet here he was, more than likely dying. Right along with his captain - your brother.

In the haze of his subconscious, he saw a face. Your face. You were leaning over him, saying something in a panic. Did you find him? Did whatever celestial being that's out there decide to give him mercy and bring you to him? Or was this all a dream?

Maybe this was a second chance, another life to live. No, he couldn't be that lucky. He was surprised he was still alive - was he alive? Or was he in limbo right now? He had no idea.

He did notice that your blurry face was crying. Why, in his last moments, would he imagine you crying? Was it because of the guilt he was currently feeling? You were going to be left all alone. Well, he wasn’t even sure how much of the other crew had survived if at all.

He knew that he probably wouldn’t survive, probably not the captain either. He had no idea where the rest of the crew was. He felt like a failure. He had failed to protect the grew, failed to keep his promise to you, failed you.

How could you forgive him? He wouldn't blame you if you were mad at him for the rest of your life. There were so many things left unsaid between the both of you. He felt you pull his head against your chest. Was this real? Or still the last ditch attempt to feel you in some way before he died?

"Everything's alright. Don't be afraid. Close your eyes - rest."

Those words rang through clear as day before he finally let go of consciousness once more.

#this is also HEAVILY influenced by room 138 by asking alexandria frfr #that song is SO important to me but also tw if you do listen to it bc it has to do with od'ing #it's just a song i relate to a little too much but it also is so good dude #anyway hopefully y'all like this the next chapter might just be the last #might be two idk yet #am fics #cc #one piece #one piece x reader #one piece x you #killer x reader #killer one piece #massacre soldier killer #i definitely shoved all the lyrics to that song into the fic

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shikai-the-storyteller · 2 years

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Two VERY different approaches to history and memory: ft. Eternal Duo

#foolish #eret #dsmp #eternal duo #eternalduo #dsmp video #Full disclosure: Eret already nabbed a lot of historical items from this area #so the stuff in the chest probably wasn't TOO important #but the contrast was too funny not to share #also I have Never Touched Minecraft In My Life so idk how important anything is based on an icon anyways #Idk why Foolish's video is so Crunchy tumblr video upload just munched up his half of this video #also it is SO funny to me that the song playing on Eret's stream is #''Men I Trust''#adds an extra layer of comedy to this #I personally would love to see c!Eret kick c!Foolish's butt #are they old friends? yes #Does that mean c!Eret shouldn't finally let loose and go crazy on someone? No

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bitternace · 5 months

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17 and marluxia?

and i'm the last one on the dancefloor as the chandelier gives way

[ID:a digital sketch of marluxia, partially shadowed in chunky faded brown. the background is grey with a white highlight behind most of him. he stares down at the audience, one foot stepping forward, either hand on the handle of the scythe behind his back. his only visible eye is golden. /End ID.]

#autumn-may #this took more than 15 minutes. hello #i didnt know what i wanted to do for half an hour but idk this was the one thing that came to mind. fights. imagine sora is off screen #also hi ty for asking smth so fun. i finally figured out how the tablet my bestie gave me for my birthday back in may works #IT FEELS. like swimming pools is a little more of an specifically lauriam song?? if #that makes sense. anyway.#having fun and that's the important bit #nano does reqs #marluxia kh

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oh-katsuki · 6 months

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i hold the INCREDIBLY strong opinion that hellfire is the best disney villain theme song. the orchestra, the composition, the animation sequence.... the LYRICS?? all of it is so fucking haunting. the hunchback of notre dame was kind of outside of the scope of things disney makes and it was sort of a gamble on whether or not audiences would react well to it. it paid off with story and animation nerds, but actually fell relatively "flat" for a disney film with general audiences.

hunchback didn't have any of the magic that is characteristic of disney movies. there were no spells or witches or magic solutions to problems, save for the gargoyles. it's a film about natural born evil and human reactions to those problems. it's very heavy handed talking about cultural problems that disney films rarely ever touch on so directly, as well as a critique of catholic hypocrisy present in the church. which is arguably... not disney.

hellfire, as a villain song, is so poignant and so outside of the scope of what disney usually creates. it's definitely one of the darkest disney songs, dealing with the concept of sexual desire in conflict with oppressive and hypocritical religious morals. in the movie, frollo is a judge instead of the archdeacon of the church (like he is in the book), though i think it's pretty clear to the audience that frollo is meant to be a religious authoritative figure regardless of his actual title.

the song builds this horrifying sense of dread and entitlement, particularly surrounding frollo's desire to own esmeralda, as well as the deadly blame he places on her for his own sexual desire. it's a song that shifts the fault for his own feelings onto a woman who is already part of an oppressed demographic and one whose narrative renders her powerless in the face of frollo's desired punishment. he's a "pure" character, but his claims to purity are grounded purely in his superiority over others, specifically the cultural group that esmeralda descends from.

it's a desperate rationalization of his feelings and a miserable display of his relinquishment of responsibility in the situation. a prayer sent from a hypocritical man to his hypocritical god. and in his desperation to absolve himself of his sins, he falls deeper into his own.

the chorus in the background chants the confiteor, which is a gregorian confession of sins, but paired with frollo's message, it's not quite a confession of frollo's sins. rather, the implication is that frollo is confessing what he views to be esmeralda's sins, which in turn are having an affect on his own. he absolves himself of guilt by confessing them, but in turn does nothing to actually seek the root of the problem, which is his own objectification of esmeralda and the dehumanization of the cultural group that she's a part of.

the gregorian chant also condemns frollo, showing the audience that despite his backwards confession, he will continue to sin. he confesses to them, but the chorus and the "eyes of notre dame" will damn him anyway because he fails to take responsibility for his own actions.

truthfully, the whole song is a chilling display of the hypocrisy of the church, as well as one of the hypocrisy of man in regards to their views of women. and it's complimented by the music and the swelling orchestra, which highlight claude frollo's anguish and violent internal struggle.

the animation is dark as well, particularly with the way the chorus or "saints" judge frollo as he tries to justify his own feelings, pleading for his eternal soul from his predestined position of "condemned", all the while condemning esmeralda. then, we have the sequence of her dancing in the flames, in which it's revealed that frollo not only hates esmeralda, but desires her sexually and hates her because of it, and that the root of this problem can be found in frollo's sexual desire and not his religious disagreement. the entire tone of the song shifts when frollo says "or else let her be mine and mine alone" and it becomes a chilling representation of claude frollo's misguided blame for his sexual desire. it becomes a song of subjugation rather than religious conflict because the moral is no longer "what she does is impure and a sin" and transforms into "what she does is a sin only if she does it for anyone but me".

in this, frollo reveals his desire to consume esmeralda and take her, as an object, for his own. finally, the animation of her in the flame moving from dance to burning on a pyre is a direct representation of what frollo intends to do with her should she not choose to be with him. it's a violent threat rooted in sexuality and misogyny. frollo does not love esmeralda, but lusts after her, and is willing to kill her in order to avoid the shame in rejection and taking responsibility for his own sins.

anyway yeah, i feel very strongly about this song and i feel very strongly about the overall message it delivers. as far as villain songs go, it is one of the most desperate and miserable displays of true villainy and the absence of magic only serves to make it more haunting. people like this exist. they have for centuries. even with no magic to corrupt or make them greedy, frollo continues to become greedy and drunk with power. and yeah. it's good. i feel strongly.

#i had to speak about it im sorry #it's really just.#idk i love it #and i probably missed a lot here #because the song is PACKED with religious symbolism #and cultural commentary #that can be read in bOTH directions #but MAAAAN it's GOOD #it's the BEST #i feel very strongly about this #sorry if this doesnt make sense #i typed it out in 10 seconds because i became so consumed listening to the song. it's important to me

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swinging-stars-from-satellites · 5 months

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I don't know how to write this without it being horribly obvious who I'm writing about

#but at the same time. since when have I cared about that?#I wrote an entire poem about another writer and then flashbanged you all with a song. idk. I want to post this and talk about it #I like what I've written #but it IS very directly and not even vaguely about another person and I don't have any right to say any of these things #I've never had the right to miss anyone. I always love too hard. far more than is reciprocated at least #everyone means the world to me but everyone has someone who means far more to them than I ever will #I'm not anyone's most important person. or even AN important person. but everyone is so so important to me #idk a song came on my playlist while I was reading and now I feel really upset about something stupid #like. a friendship lost that wasn't even that close. I don't think this person cared anywhere near as much as me. and I didn't #care as much as I should've/could've either. so. it's complicated #Lu rambles #sometimes I think I could write poetry

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rosemarytrash · 1 year

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an absolutely irresistible twitter trend

#homestuck #hom3stuck #for an HS creators thing which idk what thats all about but i wanted to draw my wife and i as god tiers teehee #idk if im actually a knight of rage but it sounded a lot cooler than Page of Breath which idk how well that fits my gay ass either #the most important thing is that im a january aquarius so whatever works for that #alli however slaps as a sylph of mind #i think that is just so cute and befitting of them #also shoutout to wife for taking a handful of hs quizzes for me i love them sm #in return i took like 3 swiftie quizzes so its fair #for those curious my midnights song and my classic ts song is paris and hey stephen #which is true #theres a lot of tags whoops #art

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wavesoutbeingtossed · 2 months

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I have thoughts about the TTPD speculation/two years/loneliness/sharing feelings through songs train but I'm putting them under a cut because. Yeah.

OK, so I'm giving a warning:

I'm talking about BTTWS, but NOT about the speculation/inspiration behind it. Just about the feelings in it and the Midnights of it all/the idea that sharing the difficult things brings comfort/companionship. So getting that out of the way so we can remove that part of the discourse out of it.

Regardless of whatever the inspiration/event behind BTTWS may be, whether it's about a loved one or personal, I've long felt that its inclusion on Midnights, an album about things that have kept her up at night, is significant in the feelings it portrays.

For instance, we can be fairly certain that Taylor wasn't actually turning in Scooter B. to the FBI and conspiring with his ex-wife to bring him down (or was she?) in Vigilante Shit, just as we can safely guess that she probably did actually pick up that pebble in Wicklow that reminded her of a peaceful time in Sweet Nothing. The line between fiction/reality, personal vs. narrative matters less on Midnights in this case than the feelings she was expressing in the songs, which are very personal and truthful. The revenge fantasy in Vigilante Shit is her working through her anger over having her masters stolen and how she's fought hard to have the last laugh over someone who is a sworn enemy. Sweet Nothing is her reflecting on the dichotomy of her (presumed) quiet home life she felt was safe and the noise of the outside world. (Now, we might speculate on why she was ruminating on this, but that's another story.)

So with that preamble out of the way, BTTWS's inclusion in the tracklist I feel is just as important, again regardless of the inspiration behind it or her personal connection to it. Even if it is a song about someone other than herself, including it as the only "not personal/not diaristic" song on an album as ostensibly self-reflective as Midnights would stick out if that were thecase, though obviously it's her album so she can do whatever she wants and could have her own reasons. (Just like she included Ronan on Red and Soon You'll Get Better on Lover about similar themes, it could just be a tribute to a loved one.) But given all the thematic arcs and parallels on Midnights, I do feel like it's there to include a specific set of feelings being processed, even if the origin on the feelings may or may not be her own. (I'm trying to be really sensitive in my word choices here, hope they make sense.)

BTTWS is a song about loss and grief, and specifically the fallout of an event outside of her/the narrator's control. The person in the song has nothing to turn to to deal with their pain: no faith to guide them, no wisdom to tell them everything will be alright. Throughout the song there is a pervasive sense of isolation: everything is over, they're living without something that was once theirs but suddenly was not. It captures the fog and confusion of living through a painful event without having any way to process. She even says from the start that, "no words appear before me in the aftermath," which for someone like Taylor who has stated over and over how writing is literally how she processes her life would be the ultimate reflection of the depths of her hurt.

(To be clear I do not think this is a song about a breakup whatsoever: IMO it clearly is not about a relationship dissolution of any kind. I just think that the feelings of grief and loneliness in the song may have felt relevant to whatever she was going through during the time the album was coalescing in 2021-22.)

Knowing what we know now about at the very least the period between 2021-2023, Taylor was going through a time of significant difficulty in her life behind the scenes, which is how The Tortured Poets Department came to be, right on the heels of her completing Midnights sometime in early 2022. She has said herself that making TTPD was a lifeline, that she had to keep writing to deal with whatever it was that she was experiencing and going through. And as I posted about earlier today, she's also said repeatedly on tour that not only is writing about her feelings how she processes her pain and loneliness, but that then sharing that music with fans brings her great comfort because it makes her feel less lonely to know people understand and relate to what she's going through.

And we know that she has self-edited her albums over the years (including Midnights) to protect herself and perhaps even the subjects of her songs, which we have seen with the inclusion of the vault/bonus tracks in the re-records and on Midnights. Obviously some of these reasons are logistical -- album was too long, cut songs sounded too much like others, maybe she or her producers felt the ones that were originally chosen were stronger, narrative or sonic cohesion, etc. -- but with what we've seen over the last few years, these songs also filled in the lines of the stories being told and reframed the narrative being told.

Nowhere is that clearer than with You're Losing Me, for example. It's pretty obvious why it was held back: presumably she wouldn't want to release a song about a relationship at its breaking point when she was still actively in the relationship. Yet as soon as the relationship ended, she released it, we can only assume because of her realization that sharing the music and having people respond to it validates her feelings and makes her feel embraced, as it were. Then with the announcement of TTPD and how it's been brewing for essentially the intervening period between when YLM was written and now, we can also surmise that these songs will be dealing with feelings she also felt the need to hold back for whatever reason at the time, but has now decided should be out there so she can feel more whole.

So coming back to BTTWS, it being included on Midnights the way that it was strikes me as a form of sharing feelings that may have been too difficult to process. Again, not implying I have any insight into what the origin of the song is about, or imposing my own beliefs onto her, or that she was sending some sort of secret message with its inclusion! But thematically, BTTWS deals with an intense loss and feeling completely unmoored and alone as a result, which is present in her other work. And that the dreams the narrator once held have gone up in smoke, leaving her reeling about what's to come next. She's cut off from the world because of the event, unable to speak about or grasp what has happened. Similar feelings are also explored in You're Losing Me for instance, and even Dear Reader (not to mention on past albums like evermore, this is my trying, arguably hoax, etc.). Just reading context clues from TTPD and her surprise song choices of late, I don't think it's outrageous to presume some of those emotions are going to be present on the new album as well.

So this is just a long-winded way of saying, I feel like the sense of loss, confusion and uncertainty about the future likely resonated with both what she had gone through in the past, and the story as a whole she was trying to tell on Midnights. And while the origin may or may not be personal or relevant to the new story she's going to tell, I also feel like these same kinds of themes are going to be present on TTPD because they're so important for her to share. (I could even mention that the response to BTTWS may even provide evidence that people sharing their experiences in general brings comfort to those going through it, but that may be veering too far into parasocial "why did Taylor do X" speculative territory.) She sings about these kinds of all-consuming losses so eloquently and mindfully that I know the new album is going to be an absolute gut punch.

(not being self-promotional but I delved a little deeper into the Midnights 3am tracks including this one a few months ago so it's why it's top of mind and why the connections and thematic parallels are so resonant to me lately.)

#sorry i tried to tread very carefully so i hope it still makes sense #i know we all kind of talk around this stuff so I was trying to do the same #while leaving room for interpretation and not getting stuck on the content!#i'm just talking about mood here etc #me thinking too hard about taylor lyrics #writing letters addressed to the fire #midnights #putting it under a cut may have been overkill on my part #but just trying to be mindful of people's dashboards etc #you're losing me #ylm #bttws #bigger than the whole sky #(bttws is a song i have thoughts on but not thoughts about its origin so much as its *metaphorical* (? idk) or perhaps narrative importance #(but it's hard to talk about it without the discussion turning into one about its origin)#(so this is my best attempt to do so)#just clarifying there is no speculation or discussion here just talk about themes #it’s not about the event it’s about the story being told in midnights

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