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#and this sucks MORE during the times I WANT and WISH to talk to people because whadda hell!! conversation hard!
aksm · 9 months
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People knock on Rhoam for being a bad dad cuz he's distant and stern to little Zelda and say how Rauru is the goat (heh) for taking her in like his own daughter. Like Zelda had her real parental connection with Sonia and Rauru. But frankly that's a little reductive.
Rauru literally descended from the heavens, married a priest, started a kingdom. Man didn't really know much strife yet. There's no looming threat of calamity or prophecy yet. Things are peaceful. Things are fine. Things are great. Zelda dropped in during this time, talking about a doom that's going to happen tens of thousands of years in the future.
This sad, lost princess.
Of course any reasonable person would take her in and calm her and tell her she is fine and listen and support her.
Rhoam not being able to be this kind of figure for Zelda is tragic. Just read this poor man's journal entries:
"It has been a year and three months since her mother passed. Perhaps she is held back by heartache too deep to heal. If the Ganon prophecy wasn't looming over our heads, I would tell her to take her time... To wait until she is ready. But our situation is dire and leaves no room for weakness—even on behalf of my beloved daughter. My heart breaks for Zelda, but I must act as a king, not a father. I must order her to train relentlessly at the fountain." Pg 4.
"In truth, I understand Zelda's feelings. Painfully so. She lost her mother, her teacher, before she could learn from her. Ten pointless years of self-training, without so much as a book or note to help her find her way... Those in the castle talk behind her back. And I, her only family, scold her for her shortcomings. No wonder she wishes to hide away in her beloved relic research. I'd love nothing more than to console her... But I must stay strong. She MUST fulfill her duty, just as we all must. Even if she comes to despise me." Pg 6.
"I have been told my Zelda went to the Spring of Wisdom... This will likely be her last chance. If she is unable to awaken her power at Lanayru, all hope is truly lost. If she comes back without success, then I shall speak kindly with her. Scolding is pointless now. I forced 10 years of training on her... and after all that, it seems her power will stubbornly awaken some other way. Perhaps I should encourage her to keep researching her beloved relics. They may just lead her to answers I can't provide. For now, I sit anxiously, more a father than a king in this moment. I sit and await my daughter's return." Pg 7. (He fucking dies and never gives Zelda this bit of closure uuuugggghhhhhhh Zelda I'm so sorry Rhoam I'm so sorry)
It sucks because most people remember the cutscenes (duh it's more immersive and important) and in the cutscenes of the first game Rhoam was mostly shown as being stern and mean to babygirl Zelda, who is closed fists explaining herself to him at the verge of tears. And in contrast everyone in the first royal family of hyrule in the second game treated her with such kindness and we can see how happy she was being there with them.
Rhoam was shackled by duty. By prophecy. By the looming calamity. And from the day he named his daughter 'Zelda' he shackled her as well.
And what does Zelda do with these shackles? She accepts them. She tolerates them. Because she loves her father and her kingdom and knows there's a power dormant in her that can stop the calamity that she must do her best to unlock. She does this dutifully. She does all the training, she does everything that is required.
But it still doesn't unlock. So she tries other ways. She isn't just going after the 'relics' because she's scholarly and nerdy and wants to learn about them. She does it because she's pragmatic. She knows her sacred sealing power isn't present in her. She knows she might not be able to control it or even unlock it in time.
So she tries this alternative approach. The Divine Beasts, the guardians. Ancient tech that was used to prevent the calamity of their time. And she awakened the tech. And her father chose the champions for each divine beast. And they were all prepared. And it's all thanks to Zelda.
And then... Fucking tragedy again. Ganon probably learned his lesson from the last time he was thwarted and immediately went for the tech, corrupting it and turning it against the new users. Against Zelda.
It's never really stated how fast it all turned to shit when the tech betrayed them (or maybe I don't remember) but every account points to it being almost overnight. The champions died. Rhoam died. And suddenly, suddenly Zelda unlocks her sealing magic.
I always always hate the literary trope of using tragedy to unlock a great power that could've actually stopped the tragedy from happening in the first place.
And it's no different in BOTW. I hate that Zelda had to go through all this to unlock her powers.
And then what happens next?
She's stuck in limbo (in an almost mocking parallel to Rauru in the next game with his imprisoning arm) holding Ganon back. For a hundred years.
This young woman had gone through so much only to be trapped with a calamity seeking to destroy Hyrule for a century.
Does she know her father died in the war? Does she know the champions died in battle? Would she know Link would survive in the Shrine of Resurrection? Would she know how long it would all take? The century she would have to wait?
I think she didn't. I think it all happened too fast. I think ultimately, she decided a stalemate with ganon was an agreeable outcome. I think in her mind she probably thought she failed Hyrule. When the divine beasts turned she must have been distraught. Distraught might not even cover it tbh. But at least... At least when the kingdom was brought to it's knees by the corrupted tech and was waiting for the final blow, she had the ability to ensure the final blow never came.
And oh boy I have a looot more to talk about regarding Tears of the Kingdom. But I do want to have a couple of more playthroughs of it to really formulate what I want to say.
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strawberrysturniolo · 3 months
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someone older pt 2 // chris sturniolo
summary: after chris and his new photographer have a successful first shoot, they struggle with the idea of them being able to have a professional relationship. teasing, degrading, spanking, rough sex, age gap, daddy kink, secret relationship.
part one
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The long awaited Fresh Love drop was a success. So much so that Chris called me, thanking me profusely for my addition to the project. He went on to say that he “hopes we can work together again,” but part of me knows there’s something more to it. 
The last time he was here, we made out and took a variety of photos during the act. 
He wound up getting a phone call from his manager, putting a hold in our activities. 
I’m not sure where that would have led us, had she not called and he had to leave. I don’t think it would have gone further. I don’t know if I would have allowed it.
It was fun in the moment, and I certainly don’t regret it. The only issue is that now with me staring at a new message from Chris about a future shoot, I have to make sure that we’re in agreement of this being simply work, not pleasure in any way.
Chris
Thanks again for the last session. I got amazing feedback from everyone. I wanted to send a message and ask you if you had time this week to do another shoot? That was kind of a test run of what pieces people might like, but now that we have more colors I need to get some more shots in them. Lmk when you’re free 
Me
Call me.
I set my phone down on my kitchen counter, trying to let the memories of him sucking my jaw flee my brain. He paid really well, but he was really great to work with, so if kissing him a little while I have fun working with him helps… then what’s the harm?
No, there’s so much harm in this. 
My phone rings almost immediately after the message is sent. I hesitate answering, but realize how bad it would look if I didn’t pick up the phone after I just sent a message asking for him to call.
“Hey,” I greet him casually.
“Hey. I assume this is to follow up my message?” he asks. 
I find myself pacing around my kitchen, trying to find the right words. “Yeah, but Chris–”
“But?” he cuts in. “There’s but’s now?”
I pause. “What’s wrong with there being a but?”
“This isn’t a work type but,” he goes on. “This is a ‘there’s an issue between you and me’ type but.”
I don’t respond. 
“Is there?” he asks, noticing my silence. 
“No. Maybe? I don’t know Chris. What I do know is that I did enjoy working with you and I’m glad the drop was what you hoped for–”
“More than what I hoped for,” he interrupts me again. “That happened because of you.”
“Maybe that’s true but if you want to keep working with me then what happened last time can’t happen again,” I say confidently, really trying to convince myself of the same. 
I can picture him searching for the words to say. He settles on, “Why?”
I wish I had a better answer. “Part of it just feels wrong.”
“What about it feels wrong? I kissed you. You kissed me back. We did that together. We talked about it afterwards. We said it was good and we were glad it happened.”
“I know,” I nod to myself. I got myself in too deep. “I’m five years older than you, and this is a workplace relationship. This shouldn’t have happened. It’s highly unprofessional and it makes me look bad as an artist.”
“This relationship is also two sided,” he refutes again. “Why do you get to make the calls and decide what’s right and wrong if I was involved in it too?”
Okay… This guy might be more mature than I was led to believe. 
“I mean,” he continues. “I could get in trouble too, you know? If my manager found out I was kissing all over my new photographer, I’d be toast. She’d insist on me finding someone else no matter how successful our shoots are. So if you don’t want to shoot with me anymore then fine, but if it’s because you can’t handle a little tension here and there then there’s something deeper that you need to resolve on your own.”
Part of that cuts deep until I’m suddenly stitched back up and determined to prove a point to him. Maybe this Chris Sturniolo is a fling kind of guy. Maybe he has the power over his own feelings to be able to disguise when he’s into someone, but I’m not able to do the same. It’s written on my face, and the last thing I need is for this guy five years younger than me to win this argument. 
So game on. 
“Come over tonight. Bring your gear and I’ll start setting up now.”
His voice is laced with a cocky tone. I can picture the smirk on his face. “I thought you’d say that.”
The rest of the day passes as I set up my studio with backdrops I spray painted a few days ago. This time, decorated with dark blue splatter designs and graffiti. In a daze and my mind wrapped around all things Chris, I graffitied the words ‘Fresh Love,’ which he went on to compliment upon arrival.
“I’m glad you came around,” he added. “They liked the shots of us together, and I didn’t want to have to search for another model for it if you were right here.”
I nod, trying to have my best poker face as if my eyes aren’t following his every move. “Stand on the X.”
He goes to his place with a smile, knowing my routine now. “Ah, test shots, huh? You do these every time?”
“Wouldn’t miss them,” I respond shortly.
He must have noticed that I’m trying to keep this as business as possible, seeing how he started making every fucking face he could to somehow turn me on. The most seductive smirks, hands in his hair, pulling his shirt a certain way so some of his skin would show more on his stomach.
I hate him.
I need more. 
“The lighting is good,” I say as I stand up straight, setting the camera to its flush settings. “Do what feels natural, just like last time.”
He smiles. “If I wanted things to be like last time then you’d be in front of the camera with me.”
I suck in a deep breath. “If you behave then maybe I’ll join you.”
That shuts him up as he starts posing for me. Eventually he asks, “Can I take this sweatshirt off now? Or are we still looking for a good shot?”
I shake my head. “I think we got it. We can do some without now.”
He peels his sweatshirt off, letting it stay stuck to his shirt he wears below it, allowing it to peel up in unison and reveal his stomach and chest. The minimal but dark hairs that decorate his lower stomach give me far too much to imagine as I stare at him. I want to see more of him, and I want those clothes gone. I’m aching for him, and he’s using it to his advantage.
“You taking pictures of my clothes or my body, baby?”
I snap out of it, brought back to him at the sound of the pet name. 
The name ‘baby’ leaving his lips almost has me buckling at the knees. 
He pulls his bottom lip between his lips, then glances between me and his own shirt. He peels his shirt off, standing bare from the waist up in front of me, dressed now in only his gray sweatpants representing his brand. Even those hang lower and give me too much to think about. 
“Put this on and stand in front of the camera,” he instructs, tossing me the shirt as he switches positions with me. “Don’t worry… I’ll turn around while you change.”
For some stupid reason I find myself listening to him. I swap my shirt for his brand, standing on the center point of the camera and allowing him to get comfortable behind it. 
He looks through the viewfinder at me, studying the shot before he snaps the moment. “Beautiful,” he mumbles, standing up straight again and smiling. He cocks his head to the side. “Now lose the pants.” 
“Chris…” I start to say, but he has more.
“It’s just me and you,” he assures me. “Plus, this is your camera. I have no access to this. If you really don’t want to then fine, but I promise, no one will see these besides me.”
His eyes stare into mine with a determination that says, ‘You know you want it.’
And I fucking do.
Maintaining eye contact, I unbutton my jeans and pull them off my legs slowly, tossing them to the side and standing in front of him in his own shirt and a pair of dark red panties, a thong that hugs my hips in the right way and makes my ass look like his new favorite thing. 
He licks his lips, swallowing as he steps back in front of the camera, trying to bite his tongue to keep from making a certain sound or saying something foul.
I want to know what’s going on in that head of his, but I refuse to ask and act interested even if I am. 
I start to take control, letting myself feel more comfortable standing in front of him half naked. I start lifting the shirt little by little as he takes more photos, the click satisfying me even more when my back is to him, my ass on full display.
“Fuck,” he sighs. “That’s it.”
My stomach is turning in the best way at every compliment, every look, every sound that leaves his mouth. He isn’t doing his best at hiding his physical reaction either, seeing that his dick is now pressed to the sweatpants around his waist. 
“You okay back there?” I tease, now smiling.
“Shut up,” he warns.
I let my body relax. “Business professional, remember?” 
He scoffs. “Yeah, fuck that.”
I give him a glaring look. “Chris.”
“Don’t say my name.” My stomach almost falls until he continues. “Not when you look like that and I’m trying to keep it in my pants. Do not say my name.”
My smile grows as I step closer. “So you don’t want me, Chris?”
His eyes fall shut.
“You’re saying you don’t need me, Chris?”
He takes a deep breath, lets it out, and grits out, “Fuck. This.”
He pulls me aside from the camera, his lips finding mine as I take my hands to his hair, finishing where we left off. A soft moan leaves my lips as his dick presses against my thigh. 
“Yeah,” he nods. “You did want me.”
I nod desperately back at him. “Really bad.”
“Mmmm,” he hums, kissing my neck. “You can have me right now, you know?” 
I have a mental battle with myself while I’m in his arms, and then without thinking clearly I’m pulling him to my bedroom despite the voice in my head shouting for me to leave this alone. 
I need relief, and he is exactly the painkiller I want. 
He follows me blindly, refusing to detach his hands from my skin. I can’t get enough of him. He’s grabbing my ass, feeling my everywhere, teasing his leg in between mine. His thigh presses against my core, earning a gasp from me as I sit on the edge of the bed.
“Poor baby,” he pouts, pushing me back onto the mattress. 
I lift my arms for him, giving him access to the underside of my shirt, lifting it off with ease. My hands find the desperation he is trying to satisfy, a pleased groan leaving his throat at my touch. 
“Looks like someone was struggling too, huh?” I notice. My hand makes soft movements over his length, stopping when his hand juts out and grabs it. 
He lowers his gaze to meet mine, our faces now level as I sit on the bed and he kneels in front of it. 
“I’ve fantasized about you touching me and sucking me off, but I haven’t gotten a clear idea of what you look like with your ass up, or what your pussy feels like around me. So you wanna show me what it’s like?” 
I’m ready to do anything he wants no matter how eager it makes me look. 
Yet I can’t find the words that convey this. 
I nod again. His hand grips my jaw as he pushes his mouth back to mine, shoving my body back onto the mattress in the process. He pins me down, grinding his hips into mine and teasing me with his cock before huffing out a breath and flipping me over. He lifts me by my hips, keeping my ass in the air for him. 
“You gonna be able to take me with no foreplay? Nothing but my dick fucking you senseless, baby?” he whispers, pushing my shirt up – his shirt – and kissing down my back in between words. 
“Yes, Chris,” I give in.
He tsks. “Don’t say my name. You know what you want to say. It’s on the tip of your tongue.”
Is he serious?
Because if he is… fuck this business relationship. I’ll need him in my bed every night. 
I must have taken too long to respond. His palm smacks against my ass, demanding a response. 
I wince. “Yes, daddy.”
“Good girl,” he says softly as he rubs his fingers where I was just spanked, soothing the pain. 
He kisses over the spot as he pulls my thong to the side. He then dips his head between my legs from behind, licking a harsh stripe on my folds. He hums in pleasure. 
“Fuck, you taste so good.” His finger rubs over that same spot. “Gonna have to taste you after I fill you up and see how good we taste together.”
Without realizing, I back my ass up to him, so much so that he smacks my ass again. 
“Needy girls get nothing,” he warns, and I find myself apologizing profusely. 
There is no way this kid five years younger than me is having this much control. There’s no way I put myself in this position. 
The tip of his dick teases at my slit, swiping it a few times before pushing in and pulling right back out. “So tight.” He does the same motion a few more times before shoving in completely, moaning loudly as he lays his chest on my back, tucking his head in my neck. His lips suck on the spot that has me gripping my sheets as he fills me up. His hips start thrusting into me, his hips railing into my ass as he fucks me mercilessly. The sound is the hottest thing I’ve ever heard. Me dripping wet while he fucks himself deeper. His skin slapping against mine while my bed shakes, trying to hold us.
“Taking it so good baby,” he mumbles in my ear. He slaps my ass again, keeping his mouth close to my ear so he can talk me through it. “You like it rough, huh? Don’t you, you fucking slut?”
I whine at the name. “Uh huh.”
His fingers dig into my sides as he drills himself as deep as he can. 
“FUCK– Yes, daddy,” I correct myself. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re so bad, baby,” he shakes his head in my neck. “Bratty as hell.”
I lower myself to my elbows, now unable to keep myself propped up the way he wanted me originally. He brings himself back up to his knees, fucking me at this new position. He speeds up, smacking my ass every so often, enough to where I can feel heat radiating off of it from the friction of his hand on my skin. 
He continues to mock and degrade me, talking me through everything before his hips start thrusting erratically.
My hand reaches behind me, clinging to his wrist as I look at him over my shoulder. The nerves building inside of me are struggling to hold on. I feel like I’m going to break. “Daddy, I’m-”
His eyes go wide as my mouth drops. Watching my face as I cum, Chris’ hips still, his dick deep inside of me as my pussy grips him. His lips part, eliciting a loud whine. I cum around him, and it’s only a moment later that I can feel him filling me up.
I lower my face to a pillow, trying to regain my breath and any strength left in me. Chris pulls out after a few seconds, fulfilling his promise and cleaning up our mess between my legs. I let out a few weak moans, too wiped to make much noise. 
He lays next to me, sweat on his forehead causing a few hairs by his ears to stick out straight, losing the natural curl in them and replacing them with a spiky style. 
“So,” he says, his breath lost. “Business professional from now on?” 
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delfiore · 5 months
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—MONTAUK.
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pairing: alexia putellas x reader
synopsis: you remember how it used to be whilst dealing with how it is now.
word count: 2.1k
a/n: alexia baby come home the kids miss you 🥲 this was the clairo - bags fic i promised months ago but now the premise feels completely different and i've changed the title also lol. a lot happens to one's state of mind in 3 months.
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After.
Under normal circumstances—as much as normal was nowadays—the silence in the apartment would feel like a blanket of comfort. It meant you were having a rest from your hectic days training and playing matches, it meant you could finally relax with the love of your life; it meant peace.
Now, the silence was deadly. It was sucking up the life in every room in this apartment, and it was draining the life out of you too.
The door clicked, and you shifted in your spot on the couch, quickly shutting off your phone on which you had bullet points typed out in the Notes app—bullet points of things you wanted—needed—to say, to lessen this inevitable pain. You cracked a smile when you heard tiny feet pattering on the floor, just as the little Pomeranian came to greet you with loving licks.
Nala was oblivious to the cracks that had been forming in her home, that have been left unamended for too long with the thinking that they would go away with time. You dreaded thinking of the day when the little pup came home from a walk and you weren’t there anymore. Would she miss you? How long until she starts to forget you?
“I got us dinner.”
“Cool,” you said, breathing in deeply. “You wanna eat now, or . . . ?”
“Sure.”
You helped her unpack the food without another word, the only sound heard was the clanking of plates as you pulled them out of the cupboard and set them on the kitchen island.
Alexia didn’t say anything either, just gingerly put the food on the plates. You felt her stiffen slightly as you walked towards her and placed a soft kiss on her shoulder.
She offered you a small smile—a forced smile—and brought the food to the table.
You cursed yourself and wished you hadn’t done it.
Before.
“And that concludes the tour of our facilities. Any questions?”
“No, I’m good.” You were way too excited to think about anything else other than the Barcelona crest on your chest.
“Great. Then, how about we go meet your future teammates? Some of them should be in the weight room.”
Patri greeted you initially, first in Spanish, then in English once she realized you weren’t catching on. Jana and Salma followed suit with friendly handshakes and quick hugs. It left the captain to be the last. And there she was; la Reina herself.
You were surprised to find that she was rubbing her hands together, waiting for her turn, almost like she was nervous. As you came to know her, you understood that she was in fact nervous when meeting new people, a polar opposite to the confident leader she was on the pitch.
But you saw the way her hazel eyes fixed on you, and as you approached her, a lingering smile played on her lips. Your heart suddenly leaped in your chest, and your cheeks felt embarrassingly warm, which you hoped she didn’t see.
You had admired her from afar, looking up to her as a role model in the game, but now that you were seeing her up close, something stirred inside you. There was something so endearing about Alexia’s shyness where you had expected assertiveness. It made her feel more down-to-earth, more like your teammate rather than a mythical figure up on a pedestal. One look at her and you understood why people had talked so highly of her—how could they not?
Extending a hand towards her, you had made your greeting, but she pulled you in for a firm and generous hug.
And that’s how they started—the butterflies, the attraction, the yearning—and they never went away.
After.
You decided that you were going to do it after dinner. Doing it during dinner is just tacky and downright disrespectful. You’d hate to be crying into your takeout after telling your girlfriend you wanted to break up.
When you snapped out of your train of thought, you realized that it was way too quiet. Alexia was eating on the other side of the table, scrolling through her phone as she did.
“Did you see Claudia’s banger of a free kick today?” You asked, smiling slightly.
Alexia looked up briefly from her phone. “Si. Really good.”
A curt answer. You nodded, and silence ensued again.
You didn’t talk to Alexia much these days. You used to be able to talk to her about anything, even in the beginning when the both of you were still testing the waters to see where you stood. When did it become like this?
Before.
Practice was going swimmingly. You found yourself catching on quickly with the rest of your teammates. Alexia has made it her mission as captain to make you feel welcome. “Anything you need, ask me,” she would say in English. You wanted to, but every time you thought about talking to her, your hands would sweat and you needed to practice what you were going to say to her. You weren’t scared that she wasn’t going to understand you, but because you knew you’d make a fool out of yourself tripping over your words.
“Hey, Alexia,” you said after practice, “I don’t know the city that well, and—well—since you do, would you be willing to show me around?”
“Si, claro.” She answered and looked around the field. “Maybe I can ask some of the girls to come with? They might know things to do that I don’t.”
Later she would explain to you that she panicked and that she knew she would be weird about it, thinking it was a date when it really was just a little outing between teammates. You wished she had treated it like a date, though, and was slightly disappointed when she mentioned bringing your teammates. Still, you had a great time watching Mapi banter with Lucy and Mariona while Alexia played the role of the disappointing mom trying to restrain her children.
You were grinning thinking back on the day when you came home. Her bashful smile after she offered to drive you home was so unlike anything you had pictured in your head before coming to Barcelona. You loved her calm nature, something that made her such a reliable captain, but also an endearing human being.
After.
You stayed seated by the dinner table and you watched her load the dishes in the washer. The scene was void of music that she would sway her hips to or a hearty conversation about a random fact she learned from one of your teammates. Now it was just robotic, lifeless movements, and your heart squeezed at the thought of what it used to be.
The end is near.
Somewhere, somehow, you gathered the courage to speak up. “Wanna watch a movie?”
And to your surprise, she turned around and said, “Sure.”
For a second, you let yourself hope that there was still something salvageable from this ruin. Then you realized that you had been here many times before, and everything accumulated and led you here to this moment.
Before.
“Really?! You’ve never seen Mean Girls?”
Alexia shook her head and chuckled. “I didn’t watch a lot of movies, Y/N. Growing up, all I had time for was football.”
“Yeah, but . . . I mean, it’s Mean Girls. That’s just a crime,” you clicked your tongue. “We’ll have to catch you up on all the classics.”
The discussion had been prompted by the imminent movie night at one of your teammates’ places. The movie of choice was Mamma Mia!, and you had been most excited to rewatch it. You and Alexia arrived together after an outing in town, and since you did so late, you both were in charge of stocking up the snacks.
“And by that, I hope you mean . . . you and me,” Alexia stuttered, leaning against the kitchen counter, waiting for you to fill your bowl with popcorn.
Your lips curved up. “Yes, I mean me and you. Just me and you.”
Your captain grinned too, like a devious little kid. “Good. Just making sure.”
“¿Qué diablos está tardando tanto? (What the hell is taking so long?)” Patri called from the living room. “¡Más te vale no estar besándote en mi cocina! (You better not be making out in my kitchen!)”
You let out a surprised laugh, as Alexia cursed under her breath, wishing silently that the girls in the living room would just shut up and stop snickering. Once the bowls in your hands were filled to the brim, you turned to her with a knowing look.
“I wouldn’t have minded, you know.”
“Mind what?”
“If we were making out,” you said before leaving Alexia in the kitchen to soak in your words.
She found a seat next to you after taking a minute to calm her racing heart so that you wouldn’t notice how crazy you drove her. She felt like a teenage girl having a silly crush, but there was nothing silly about the way you looked at her. And when you put your head on her shoulder midway through the movie, she knew she was gone. Patri saw it too across the couch apparently, and her knowing grin made Alexia want to bury herself inside a hole. While she wasn’t particularly into romcoms, she was already looking forward to watching Mean Girls with you, her fleeting heart hammering in its cage at the thought of getting you alone again.
After.
The silence was deafening. You didn’t dare to look over to Alexia to gauge her reaction. The screen continued to play the movie, blissfully unaware of an earthquake that had suddenly roared to life in the space on the couch between you and Alexia.
You swallowed. She hasn’t spoken for hours.
Then, she turned to you and said, “Okay.”
Okay.
You drew a sharp breath and nodded with finality. “Okay.”
The movie was still playing, though. It was one of your favorites, but it made you cry every time you watched it because you were so touched by the story and its main characters. It was about a man—grief-stricken with the loss of his relationship—who decides to get his memories of his girlfriend wiped, but during the process, he relives everything he shared with her and slowly rues his decision. You used to enjoy it because their story was fictional, but now it all felt like one big joke, like you were one of the characters in the movie, inching towards a certain endgame that you couldn’t escape.
You wondered if there were a different script written out for you and Alexia.
“Let’s finish the movie though, yeah?” She said, finally looking over to you.
You hadn’t expected that look on her face when you looked back at her—it was something almost like desperation.
Like it meant something to her.
You nodded. It was the least you could do after dumping her. What kindness, after the neglect she had shown you, what kindness.
Before.
Alexia was shaking when she brought the two glasses of wine out to her living room, where you sat. Nala, the ever-excited little puppy that she was, followed her like a personal little cloud.
“I heard it was going to be a sad movie, so wine it is.” She said, handing you your glasses.
“It’s a cult classic, trust me. It’s one of my favorite movies ever.”
“Well, I liked Mean Girls, so I trust you.” The truth was, she would have watched any movie with you, as long as it was with you.
You were right, it was quite sad. When she looked over midway through the movie, she could see a glossy streak running down your face. You laughed it off and wiped your tears away, embarrassed that you had cried in front of her, but Alexia thought you were the prettiest.
With feather-light touches, she reached over and brushed the tip of her fingers over your cheekbone. She knew there was no going back if she went ahead with this. She wondered if there was a script written out for you and her already, and she was just following it on its path.
Her lips brushed against yours softly, and only once she felt that you started to kiss her back was she brave enough to put her hand around your waist and pull you closer.
You were grinning so wide when she pulled away, that she thought it might have been a prank and you were somehow in on it. But you put your arms around her neck and pecked her lips again.
Whatever script it was, Alexia was sure it would be one of fairy tale endings and happily ever after, because that is what you believe when you’re in love.
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a/n: the movie is eternal sunshine of the spotless mind btw. made me ugly cry.
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sleeplesssmoll · 5 months
Text
Vertin's personality and traits based on in-game context.
Contains Spoilers.
Will update when I find more tidbits about our beloved Timekeeper.
Updated: March 15 2024
Vertin sucks at math.
Not much to say here. Although, this is another difference between her and Sonetto, who loves math. I hope they do something with this later because it'd be fun.
Vertin is 16 confirmed
While this isn't a personality trait, I did see some debate about her age since it wasn't officials stated until now and it was assumed through context. Prisoner in the Cave explicitly confirms her age. Vertin became Timekeeper when she was 12 and has been the the TK for the past 4 years.
Vertin is a pianist and a painter.
You can see a piano in the back of her office in the Suitcase by the window. It makes sense in regards to Vertin's musically inclined Arcanum. There's an easel and stool in her office too. She doesn't merely collect art, she creates it. Vertin also owns a camera (official artwork released) too and mentions her photography in the begining, so this isn't new but I thought I should add it.
Vertin's still playful under all her composure.
We know baby Vertin was a little menace, but we can still see a spark of that mischief in her later years. For example, Vertin slapping a fake mustache on Regulus to avoid Sonetto really captures this. We can tell from other characters' voice lines that Vertin will most likely play along with their shenanigans. She'll chirp like a bird in response to Rabies talking about his bird friends (Wilderness interaction). She'll help Sonetto during hide and seek (Wilderness). She watches movies with Eternity and An An Lee. X asks her for help with his projects. Going through her crew's voice lines really paints a better picture of how she interacts with others. The voice lines point to someone playful and curious when she's not in work mode.
Vertin was a gremlin.
Vertin's love language is giving.
We know baby Vertin loved to give gifts to a reluctant Sonetto, but that part of her still exists. She tried to grant everyone's last wishes during the 1929 Storm. We also know she gives Lilya alcohol as a gift upon her return from 1929. She is also very direct. We see her ask people what they want or what can she do for them throughout the story. To expand further, you could say she likes fulfilling people's desires instead of limiting it to material gifts. We can see more of instances of this during the Green Lake event, especially in the way she protects Jessica from the Foundation. She also tried to get Regulus funding for a ship. I love the Suitcase Dad meme, but it's rooted in nuggets of truth.
She was a crappy student, yet she was also a resourceful gremiln. Vertin never liked the institution! Honor student? Top of the class? Never. Teachers are filled with that "Godamnit Vertin" energy toward her too. I hope we see more gremlin energy in the future.
One-sided childhood friends.
Vertin is a collector.
Sonetto and Vertin were desk mates but Sonetto couldn't stand Vertin when they were kids. She even tried to avoid Vertin at times but Vertin persisted with her gifts. We can see this in the hallway scene. Sonetto's about to change routes to avoid Vertin but Vertin called out to her to give her a frog she caught. Kinda funny how Sonetto can't stand Vertin but also can't resist her when they were kids. Vertin and Matilda were actually closer back then. Well, at least until the tear gas incident. Sonetto changed after Vertin was hurt and the rascal wasn't around to bother her. I feel like this tidbit says a lot about Vertin and her influence on people.
Baby Vertin collected rocks, bugs, and frogs. Adult Vertin collects painting and mementos of people she's lost. Things were simpler as a kid.
Vertin is stronger than she looks.
She was a wild child and she's still got it years later. Vertin can run for long periods of time, endure injuries, and climb obstacles. That, and she's still essentially a child solider. We see her hold her own when she needs to fight solo doing stuff like dodging bullets. Sonetto and Matilda also exhibit these freakishly athletic traits, especially Sonetto.
Vertin befriends people in every Era, despite knowing she'll lose them.
Compared to the other children raised by the Foundation, Vertin's traveled the world and witnessed loss in every Era. This opens doors to a whole new set of questions. How did she change over time? How do the Arcanists she recruited before the story treat her? Did she have crushes in previous Eras? Were the oranges just as bitter? Vertin seems to get close to people very easily and doesn't build walls around herself despite the trauma. You'd think someone who's lost so much would stop trying to get close to people, but she doesn't.
Vertin is optimistic.
Even as a child, she was full of hope. It's why she fights for the future and is a core part of her personality. She needs to fight for all those she lost and stop the Storm from taking more lives.
Vertin gets quiet when embarrassed/shy.
She'll blush and fall silent, but she doesn't stammer or go all tsundere. We can see this in voice lines. Sonetto's high praises make her cover her face with her hands. Eternity gets a reaction out of her when she holds her hand. She also blushed when she received surprise smooch and fell silent.
Vertin has a unique scar on her back.
Vertin is a tactile person.
Arcana mentions the scar after Vertin was shot multiple times in the back by Schneider. It's a big scar and new theories about the scar are ongoing and interesting!
In several voice line interactions, Vertin is patting people's heads or holding their hands. Not all her crew mates are on board with it, some seem confused, and others play along. We can also see examples in story like her handing Sonetto a frog while gently grasping her hand or her taking Regulus's hand to lead her into the Suitcase. Here is a post with the evidence to back this claim.
Vertin sucks at arcanum but her deep understanding of arcanum is uncanny.
The story mentions her weak arcanum skills throughout the story. They really want you to remember this. Also, her arcanum didn't manifest until sometime after the break away event but before the events in the prologue. During her stay in the guardhouse, she doubts if she's even an arcanist and mentions her arcanum has yet to manifest, which is wild. Smoltin is fighting with her tiny hands and wit in this chapter. However, in the prologue it's mentioned Vertin's understanding of arcanum and her perception makes her unique amongst arcanists. She's also considered more "rationale" than other arcanists. You can read more about this here.
Vertin is stealthy.
Smoltin sneaks around to play outside. She steals food for herself and the Ring from the Staff Canteen, which has better quality food than what the kids get. This tells me she's done this before. Adult Vertin also sneaks around the Walden to find Schneider. She makes maps, tracks guard routes, and avoids detection since whe was a kid.
Tooth Fairy was one of the few Foundation members who cared about Vertin.
Tooth Fairy is the one who gave Smoltin the toffees (chit chat voicelines). She also covered for Vertin on a few occasions to protect her from punishment. She remembers Vertin faking her illness to skip class, but her bruises and wounds were real. The Foundation does have a few kind hearts that genuinely care about the children. The causes of Vertin's injuries is up to speculation.
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meanbossart · 2 months
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What is it about Astarion that DU Drow fell for? Which traits/habits/quirks/whatever were the ones that he first noticed/piqued his interest?
Oh boy, I mean, at first DU Drow didn't care for Astarion at all. He was extremely on edge around all of these people and Astarion's rather invasive strategy only put him off further - his insight checks may be awful, but he can still tell when someone is trying to suck up to him a little too hard. DU drow thought he was attractive, of course (see.: the narrator's comment about the quote-on-quote pretty corpse) but otherwise didn't think very much of, or very highly of him.
Once he got his confidence back, and after Astarion caught onto the fact that he needed to play hard to get to string him along, there would have been a little while where DU drow only saw him in the context of a trophy or conquest - but admittedly, he also thought Astarion was funny, and he thought he was smart - even someone as dense as him could see that the guy had read him perfectly, and proceeded to adapt as necessary to get what he wanted out of him - and DU drow fell right into it, willingly so. There would have been some mutual respect there between them from understanding each other's games.
Their ritual of letting Astarion bite him definitely planted a little seed of something too. I've talked about it plenty of times so I won't dwell on it, but DU drow enjoys the intimacy implied in allowing someone to hurt him. This was far from an emotional turning point in the relationship, but it did prompt him to start seeing Astarion differently (not better or worse - just differently.)
(I'm a little drunk and went on and on, enjoy LOL)
Then, after one or two intimate encounters, the Urge would have started taking too much of a toll - violent lust turned into lustful violence, and hence DU drow didn't want to have sex anymore out of a fear of losing control during the act; yet, he had learned to trust Astarion by then and would seek out his comfort and companionship all the same. Faced with the situation where sex is no longer an option, I imagine Astarion would have been caught off guard and let the mask slip more often than usual. Pair that with the fact that DU Drow is a surprisingly affectionate (in private) but highly withdrawn person, left him in the role of leading their exchanges. Astarion, I think, would have felt the need to talk; if for no other reason but to fill the air whenever they were alone together. Eventually DU Drow would have started talking back.
These were long nights of just looking up at the sky and going through things that happened that day, what led them here, what the companions are doing, talking shit about whats-his-or-her-name, often just straight up gossip. Astarion eventually realized he could say whatever he damn pleased in front of DU Drow and nothing seemed to phase him, and vice-versa. DU drow enjoyed his bluntness, his earnest impulsivity that matched his own, he laughed at his jokes (as well as some things that weren't meant as jokes) he enjoyed his teasing and his reactions when he said something putrid in return, he liked the way he smelled when he was clean and he liked his stink when he was filthy, he watched him fidget with his own clothes and hair until Astarion gave him a weird look and aggressively asked what he was staring at. He enjoyed when Astarion got angry at something he said, because it felt very genuine - and he didn't use to think of him as a very genuine person.
Astarion was the first to notice something was wrong with him - so DU drow felt comfortable talking about it openly. On the other hand, DU drow never pressed Astarion about his past unprompted - instead just letting him talk about it if he so wished and without trying to milk it for more details when he did choose to do so. Because they spoke a similar language of violence and operated under the same hedonist-based beliefs, it was easy to talk to each other even when there was friction between them - similarly, they were both always willing to move past and quickly "forget" when someone said something truly hurtful.
I don't know if there was a key moment where he realized this had turned into love; that was probably a word DU Drow dropped quite unabashedly sometime after they got to Baldur's Gate, and before they faced-off with Cazador (to no reciprocation or acknowledgment then, not that he minded). But sometime during act 3, DU drow simply assumed that after this was all over they would still stick together.
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strbymacaroon · 4 months
Text
Silent Love: Ch. 5 - "Good Guy."
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⊹ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐ Chapter Four
Previous Chapter: Project Week
Chapter One: New Roommate(s)
Master-List: Here!
.・゜゜・ 。・゚゚・ ╰┈➤ Sukuna x Reader
⁎̩͙ ⁑̩͙̩͙ ⁂̩̩͙͙ Sypnosis:
When moving out of your dorm and leaving your eccentric roommate goes to shit, you're offered by one of her friends to move in with him... for free! That is, if you don't mind living with two completely opposite college boys.
However, life isn't that easy, and there's a hot asshole around the corner to piss you off. Especially when he's always up late at night when you're studying, purposely trying to get on your nerves in the most perverse way possible.
You hate him.
⁎̩͙ ⁑̩͙̩͙ ⁂̩̩͙͙ Genre:
College/Modern World AU. Multiple parts.
Shameless Smut, Thin Walls, Mildly Dubious Consent, Roommates Fluff and Crack, Slice of Life, Kinda Slow Burn, Oral Sex Vaginal Sex, Slight Age Difference, Degradation Fake/Pretend Relationship, Dirty Talk, Dirty Thoughts, Enemies to Lovers, Spit Kink, Angst, Hurt/Comfort.
⁎̩͙ ⁑̩͙̩͙ ⁂̩̩͙͙ Word Count: 10,040
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・ 。゚☆:  *・ November 27th, 2023 ☽ .* :☆゚.
Monday
The weekend was… tense. 
That pissed you off. 
It still pisses you off.
You’re still hurt, too. 
Yuuji notices, he has yet to ask, but knowing that you came home upset with Sukuna after being happy the whole day with him, he has a feeling he knows the reason. “Do you want to watch this movie?” Yuuji asks, looking over his shoulder. 
You take your eyes off the computer, looking at the TV. “No, that one looks sad.” You look back at your screen, “Can you play a comedy, or something?” You jump up at a thought for a moment, “Oh, wait, I know what, play the movie Selena.” 
Yuuji tilts his head, “Selena?” He turns back to the TV, searching up the name on Netflix. 
You nod, “Mhm, Selena, I have a feeling you’re going to like her.” You continue typing away at the computer while glancing at your notebook. You’re content with all the information you gathered during the week, however, you don’t know how to go about Sukuna’s “Mental Evaluation.”
Now that the two of you aren’t talking–aren’t even looking at each other–it feels wrong to write about him, more a less do your project on him. You sigh, dropping your head on your keyboard, “I hate this project, and I hate Gojo.” 
Yuuji doesn’t respond, already sucked into the movie. Which is what you expected, Selena has that effect on people, even in her young age of childhood. You can’t imagine how Yuuji’s going to react when he finally sees her grown and a singer. 
You shiver, the window no longer flooding the sun’s light, “Yuuji, I’m cold.” You whisper. 
Yuuji waves his hand, “I have some extra blankets in my room, you can grab one–oh! There’s also some snacks in there, too. Bring them so we can watch the movie.” He starts to stand up, “I can help you find them–” 
“No, it’s okay.” You put your hand out, stopping him while you stand up. “You enjoy the movie, I’ve seen it a million times with my mom. I practically have it memorized by now.” Yuuji nods, while you make your way to his room. 
For a moment you pause and look at Sukuna’s door. It’s the same it’s been this whole weekend, closed and silent. It makes your stomach turn. You want to knock, you want to give Sukuna the benefit of the doubt, you really do, but you can’t. A part of you wishes you could go back in time and listen to what he had to say when he called your name on Friday, but you’re scared–no, you're terrified. 
You want to know if he was going to apologize. Yet, another part of you knows that isn’t the case. And that is what scares you. You care for Sukuna, you lik–you shake your head–the idea of him rejecting you, or using you is terrifying. 
What if he just tells you to leave him alone? You can’t bear to hear that again. You can’t bear to be a girl he forgets about. It’s so stupid. You’re being so stupid, you genuinely hate it.
You bite the corner of your bottom lip, pushing Yuuji’s door open and flicking on the switch. Only to quickly realize, it doesn't work, to be honest, you’re not entirely surprised by that, you were expecting much worse. Even when you open his closet and grab the snacks and blanket, you were expecting his unopened lego box collection to fall on you, luckily, it didn’t. 
You wrap yourself with the blanket, and hold the snacks between your arms, “Yuuji, I think I found all of the snacks.” You yell from his room, closing the door behind you, “Your lego sets almost killed me, but–” You feel your stomach drop, your words dying. Your fingers almost go slack, but you catch yourself, tightening your grasp on the snacks in exchange. 
Sukuna pressing his lips together, his eyes moving up and down your frame, before naturally looking at the women besides him. He can see your expression sour from the corner of his eye, and it makes his stomach turn uncomfortably. 
The blonde woman laughs, “Oh, hi, baby. It’s been a hot second, huh?” She gives you a satisfied smile, her hands hanging on her hips, “Interesting look you got going there.” She points at you, her finger moving up and down your outfit. 
It feels weird… knowing that he’s looking at you after actively avoiding you the whole weekend, and refusing to even breathe in your direction. You give both of them an uncomfortable look, “I’m home? What do you expect me to look like?” You want to move past them, you really do, but that feels embarrassing and uncomfortable. Besides… you’ve made a point to only wear your cute pajamas now that you live with two guys. 
She wrinkles her nose, “Who knows.” She turns to Sukuna’s door, pushing it open with confidence. “Something that looks even a bit cute.” She enters the room with a happy skip, leaving you and Sukuna alone in the hall. 
You look to the side, a bit of a hurt expression gracing your face. 
Sukuna mindlessly mirrors your body language, but keeps his eyes on you. He’s observing you, looking at the snacks in your hands, along Yuuji’s thick blanket wrapped around your shoulder. He can hear his little brother watching a movie in the living room, a part of him wonders if it’s a movie night. Another part of his wonders if he can–
“Can you move?” Your eyes are still looking away from him, your fingers tight around the bags of snacks, you can hear them crinkle underneath your fingers. “Yuuji’s waiting for me.” 
Sukuna bites the inside of his cheek, nodding. He pushes himself to the wall, watching as you pass him. He can smell you shampoo and perfume, he can also see the way your eyes look a bit glossy. But, he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t know what to say, and most importantly, he doesn’t want to say anything. 
You bite your bottom lip the moment you enter the living room, quickly wiping your eyes as you move behind Yuuji. Hugging him from behind while the blanket engulfs both of you. You close your eyes, sighing into his trapezius, completely relaxing into his body. You’re a bit surprised he can hold up your whole weight without even flinching. 
Yuuji keeps his attention to the screen while asking, “You okay?” You nod into his shirt, letting your arms drape over his shoulder as you hold him close. He just nods, leaning into you and taking one of the snacks you took from his room. 
You open your mouth, your eyes blurring and turning glossy again as Yuuji pops a chip into your mouth.Stupid Sukuna. Why is liking you so fucking hard? 
“I think I’m in love.” Yuuji mindlessly mumbles.
You laugh a tiny bit, moving away from him and back to your computer. “Don’t worry, I was too.” You’re back to typing away, stealing glances at the TV, but mostly Yuuji. Drinking up all his reactions to the movie. “Hate the way it feels, though.”
“I invited Nobara and Megumi.” He tells you randomly, looking at you with glossy eyes. “I’m sorry, but this movie is too good to watch alone.” He wipes his eyes with the back of his hands, “I also told them to bring pizza and tissues.” He smiles to himself, “Also those delicious cheese sticks from Claim Jumpers.”
You smile, happy Yuuji can give you some semblance of a break. If anything, you’re more than grateful you’ve met Yuuji. Of course, technically, he is the one who brought you into this mess, but is the same one who manages to make everything feel better. 
You nod into him, “Great call, babe.”
Megumi’s eye twitches, “What the hell is going on?” He’s looking at you like you're the reason. Which… you are, but he’s not supposed to automatically assume that. “Why is Yuuji crying…? Again?” Megumi places his hand over his eyes, and you swear you can hear him whisper, ‘Why is he always crying?’
You sheepishly play with the end of your shirt, “I introduced him to Selena, and this is the first time he’s seeing the movie.” You scratch your cheek, glancing back to Yuuji with a worried expression, “Uh, I didn’t expect it to affect him… this much.” 
Megumi furrows his eyebrows, his eyes twitching for a moment, “Oh…” He places the pizza on the dining room table, along with passing Yuuji the box of tissues. “I thought he was joking, but…” He’s giving Yuuji and uncomfortable look. 
Nobara looks at the screen, shaking her head. “Ah, no, it’s Selena. Completely reasonable.” She pops open the pizza box, picking a silence. “Cried my eyes out the first time she showed me this movie.” She bites the pizza with a distant expression, mumbling, “Memories.”
You grab a slice too, “I did, too. I just thought Yuuji would absolutely love Selena.” You glance at him, watching as he’s absolutely engrossed in the movie, you laugh a bit before grabbing a napkin and sitting down next to him, lifting the pizza to his mouth so he can take a bite. “Besides, this is supposed to be sad.” 
Megumi looks at the screen, “The music is nice.” 
“How can you listen to this song and not cry?” Nobara adds, however, she's eyeing you and Yuuji. “Dreaming of you," is a certified cry song. Something you listen to when your heart is breaking, you need a good cry, or just need a good song to listen to.”
You nod feverishly, agreeing with Nobara. Passing Yuuji another bite of his pizza. “Nobara gets it, Megumi, we just need to convert you now.” 
“Hard pass.” He sits down at the table, scrolling through his phone. 
You laugh. 
“You and Yuuji seem close.” Nobara sits down next to you with a smile, “Something happened during the week you’ve been here?” She wiggles her shoulder suggestively, passing you a look you can’t help but roll your eyes at. 
But, it’s quickly replaced with shock when her words settle in your mind, “It’s only been a week?!” There’s actually no way. “Oh my god, please say you’re lying.”
“It hasn’t.” Megumi shakes his head, which gives you some form of relief, before he quickly adds, “More like two.” For some reason, that makes it even worse. 
You’re almost spiraling at that, how the hell has it only been two weeks?! You blink a few times, “Uh, that’s amazing…” You let Yuuji take another bite of the food, “I genuinely don’t think that I’m going to make it till the end of finals.” 
Nobara leans her head on your shoulder, but a small worried look graces her face. “Hey, are you okay?” She examines your face, noticing the bags and dreariness in your eyes. “You look rough. Mostly tired.” Then, she gasps like a madwoman, her eyes growing with excitement. “Wait, don’t tell me! You and Suk–”
“I won’t tell you.” You cut her off, taking an aggressive bite into the pizza. Only to remember that the pizza isn’t yours, it’s Yuuji, and you internally scold yourself. You look at Yuuji, then Megumi, then back at Nobara, whispering, “At least, not right now…”
This makes Nobara light up, “Oh my gosh, I can’t wait!” She whispers back excitedly, jumping up slightly. She grabs your shoulders, wiggling you, “I’m actually so jealous, I can’t believe you actually—“
“Stop assuming things.” You whisper aggressively, narrowing your eyes, “I’ll tell you later.” You pout, looking at the screen with furrowed eyebrows. “That’s if I still like you by them.” You mumble.  
“I’m totally sleeping over.” Nobara says with a smirk, letting her head fall on your nape, “Girls night, you need to fill me in on all the shit the two of you did together.” 
Yuuji passes you a questionable look, which makes you groan, pushing her away and mumbling, “Shut up.” Yet, Nobara is quick at your side again. 
“Did you bring the cheese sticks?” Yuuji asks, looking at Megumi, he cocks his head in your direction, “We’ve been waiting patiently for them.”
You swear you imagined it, but you swear that you can see Megumi's subtle smile. Looking down at his feet while he bites the side of his cheek, a small huff of air leaving his nose. His voice comes in shaky as he says, “C-Cheese sticks?” 
Nobara burst into a fit of laughter, falling on her back while she points and laughs at the two of you. You give her a questionable look, confused on her amusement, “What? What’s so funny?” You look at Yuuji for support, only to see his equally confused expression, “We literally just want our cheese sticks.” 
Nobara’s laughter grows more frantic, while Megumi’s subtle smile turns into a full on laugh.
Yuuji raises an eyebrow, tilting his head to the side, you mimic his actions. “What? They’re good?” He says quietly, confused on what could possibly be so funny. 
Nobara points at Yuuji, trying to collect herself as she forces out, “W-Wait, you call them cheese sticks?” She wipes her eyes. 
Yuuji’s eyebrows furrow, absolutely confused. “Yeah? What… what else would they be called?” He laughs awkwardly, passing the two of them an unsure smile.
Nobara looks at you for a second, laughing lightly. “Yuuji, babe, love of my life. Man I will marry, and love for the rest of my days. Pray that one day I will die hand to hand with.” She hugs him, pushing you out of the way. “They’re called mozzarella sticks.” She whispers. 
Yuuji shakes his head, “Yeah, no. They’re not.” He looks at Megumi, desperately in your opinion, “Megumi, tell her. They’re cheese sticks, right?” There’s a bit of uneasiness in his voice, almost shaky.
Megumi slowly looks to the side, taking a bite of his pizza. “Yuuji…” He softly starts, keeping his composure, “I could’ve sworn we talked about this a little while ago, and..” 
Yuuji shakes his head, “Don’t tell me.” 
Megumi nods, “I’m sorry to tell you… again.”
“I feel sick.” He grabs your shirt, calling your name desperately, “Be here for me, be on my side, what are they called…?” You swear you can see some tears pearling in his waterline. 
“Uh..” You pass an unsure glance at Nobara, “Are they really called mozzarella sticks?” Your question is just as uneasy as Yuuji is right now, and you think rightfully so. Was your whole childhood a lie?
Nobara gives you a somber look, looking down and closing her eyes. Almost as if you told her your favorite celebrity had finally gotten into a relationship with someone. “I’m… not sorry.” 
Yuuji hunches over, grabbing his stomach. “Wow…” He whispers, “I feel like my life has changed.” He shakes his head, grabbing his mouth, “And, not for the better…” You pat his back accordingly, this is just as equally as a tragedy to you, as it is to Yuuji.
“So, every time I’ve gone to Claim Jumpers with you guys and asked for cheese sticks, the waiters just?... never corrected me?” Yuuji looks absolutely shocked, passing you a glance, “So, yesterday when we ordered some, we must’ve looked like dumbasses.” 
You let out a breath of disbelief, “What the hell…?”
Nobara plots herself on the couch, letting out a satisfied sigh, “I can’t believe you idiots thought they’re called cheese sticks.” She waves her hand cockily, “If you guys look like idiots, obviously the two of you are.”
Yuuji narrows his eyes at her, “Did you even bring them?” 
Nobara loudly laughs, “No.” 
“So, tell me babe.” Nobara slides the shirt you lended to her over her head, then jumps on your bed. “What’s going on between you two? Friends with benefits, situationship, maybe even secretly dating?” She smirks to herself, whispering, “Secretly dating…” One more time for good measure. 
You kick your lounge shorts to the side, bending down and grabbing some sleeping pants to keep warm, “None of that, Nobara.” You push your hair over your shoulder, “You and your imagination, I swear.” 
“Not true, I’m just trying to get the juicy details.” She gives you an annoyed look, pointing at your body, “I’m sorry, but with how hot you are and how unfairly hot Sukuna is, there had to be so much sexual tension, I’m so upset I couldn’t have seen it.” 
“Nobara!” You say, a bit louder than you would’ve liked. “I don’t like him right now, and you’re making it really hard for me to take you seriously.” Your face is burning up, her implications slowly starting to get to you. 
“Yeah, sure, honey.” Nobara places her hand over her lips to hide her catty smile, looking to the side and singing, “I’m sure you “hate” him.” She uses her free hand to make a lewd motion that looks similar to intimately shaking a soda bottle. 
You feel your eyes twitch, your face burning up even more. “Oh my god. I’m goin–I hope you kill yourself.” You place your face in your hands, shaking your head, “No. I’m going to kill myself, I swear…” 
She laughs, leaning back in your bed and picks up the stuffed bunny she gave you long ago. “You love me so much, I know, I know.” Yet, her face falls a bit, “Okay, but, seriously. Are you okay? You look… tired. More so than normal.” 
You press your lips together, moving to your vanity and sitting down in front of the mirror. Pulling at the bottom of your eyes, “Yes.” You shrug, “I don’t know, but…” You sigh, already knowing Nobara is going to absolutely lose her mind, “The whole week was–” You shake your head, just pull off the bandaid, “We did something on Friday at the party.” 
Nobara blinks a few times, before screaming into the bunny excitedly, “No way! No way! Yes, way!” She wiggles her shoulders, hugging the bunny, “You have to tell me everything that happened, did you suck him out?” She loudly gasps, “Did he suck you off? Or… eat you out?”
“No!” You yell at her, throwing a lipliner at her head. Which she dodges with ease, you turn back to the mirror, “Oh my god, can you like not for five seconds?” 
Nobara gives you an exasperated look, “What? I’m sorry but, can you blame me?” She taps her chest, “You’ve never done anything with anyone, you can’t be mad because I’m excited for you.” She does sound excited, but you wish it was directed somewhere else right now. 
You grab a wet wipe, removing your makeup, “I know and I would be too, if it wasn’t for–” You falter, your hand pausing, “Right before I…” You feel your face heat up, “When I was close to finishing, he–” 
Nobara tilts her head, sitting up in your bed and looking at you through the mirror. “Close to finishing? He was getting you off?” She smiles a bit, “Babe, you can’t throw these hot single lines at me and not tell me the juicy details.” 
“..Yes, he was… you know.” You let your eyes move to the side, “We were doing stuff at a party… in a laundry room, while my clothes were getting washed.” 
Nobara gawks at this, “Oh my god… I’m so jealous.” She shakes her head, “Okay, I’m sorry, actually continue now.” 
You continue whipping your eyes, “Remember how I told you about our deal? About how we’d only be friends for like a week for the project, then just kind of forget about each other?” You press your lips together. 
Nobara looks to the side in thought, “Maybe, I don’t–just tell me what happened?” 
“He threw it in my face while we were doing that.” You bite your bottom lip, “Told me he was happy I finally gave in before the week was over.” You toss the makeup wipe on your desk, pushing yourself away from the vanity. “I just–I like him, Nobara, and I know I shouldn’t, but I do. And, I thought he liked me too, he was starting to be… human, but I guess not…” 
Nobara wraps her arms around you, “Oh, babe, I’m so sorry.” She rubs your back, pulling away while her hands stay on your shoulders, “I genuinely feel so shitty now, I really didn’t know. You don’t deserve that.” 
“You were distracted by his hot face.” You give her a small smile, but there’s some pain littered through it. “I don’t blame you, I was too.” 
Nobara laughs for a moment, “I get it, my asshole has a hot face, too.” She leans close, her cheek touching yours, “He also knows how to use his hands.” 
“Tell me about it.” You pull her on your bed, pulling the thick blanket over your heads. Creating a small fort of sorts. “And now he’s in his room with the girl he told me he blocked.” You think for a moment, “Actually, it’s the girl he blocked twice, one of them then he told me to do.” 
Nobara makes a face, it’s a bit smug, “Okay, I know we hate him right now, but like…?” She lifts her hands, moving them up and down as if she were balancing something. “Ate…” She laughs a bit, “Devoured… I fear.” 
You place your hand over your mouth, shouting a small, “I know.” Before shaking your head, “Okay, stop, I’m supposed to hate him right now.” You look to the side, “But, yeah, I totally ate that shit up. He could’ve asked me to strip and I probably would’ve done it.” You shake your head, “Back on topic. Hate him, we hate him.” 
“Back to hating him.” Nobara says completely seriously. Creating an ‘x’ with her hands. “He’s not even that hot.”
You nod in agreement, before thinking, “Well… let’s not be crazy here.” 
Nobara sighs, “I know..” She says a bit disappointed, “I thought lying to ourselves would make us feel better, but I’m afraid I feel the same.” You nod in agreement. 
Your eyes light up, remember something, “By the way, I hope you brought some headphones.” You reach for yours, wiggling them in the air. 
Nobara gives you a questionable look, before slowly saying, “Why?” She takes them from you, allowing her fingers to run over the cold metal. They’re heavy, and feel really nice. She puts them on, and instantly notices their sound proof. 
That makes her stomach turn a bit. 
You pull them off her head, letting them fall into your lap. “Haven’t I told you what happened on my first day here?” You tap your bottom lip, thinking for a moment, “I could’ve sworn I did…”
“You probably did.” She falls back on your bed, getting comfortable in your soft sheets. “Sometimes I just stop listening, you tend to yap a lot.” She cattily smirks, closing her eyes completely pleased with herself. 
“I will make you sleep with Yuuji tonight, Nobara. Don’t test me.” You deadpan, grabbing a pillow and slapping it over her face. She dramatically puts one of her hands in the air. You smile at this, “I know you’re not going to be happy with how loud he snores.”
“No! Not again, I’ve been hit!” She laughs into the pillow, “Oh, but please do. I’m sure adding more blackmail into my Yuuji collection will make me happy.” She pulls the pillow away from her face, tapping your cheek. “There’s no winning for you here, babe.” 
You slap her hand away from your face, “I hate you.” 
・ 。゚☆:  *・ November 28th, 2023 ☽ .* :☆゚.
Tuesday
Eating breakfast with Yuuji is an activity you didn’t think you would miss, until right now. 
Yuuji hands you a paper towel, “Now, watch me.” He places the paper towel over the bowl, covering the flakes underneath the towel. “Watch carefully.” He whispers, now placing his palm over the towel and applying pressure to it, crushing the flakes underneath his palm. 
“Why are we–how does this enhance the eating experience, Yuuji?” You mimic his actions, feeling the flakes awkwardly poke and prod at your skin under the pressure.
“Trust me, I’ve done this since I’ve gained consciousness.” Yuuji reassures, peeling off the paper towel and looking at the now small flakes, then nodding to himself in approval. “Perfect, now we can add the milk. 
You remove your towel and allow Yuuji to pour in the milk, swirling your spoon in the food. “Okay, and I’m allowed to eat it now, right?” You narrow your eyes at him suspiciously, “You won’t throw out my food again, right?” 
Yuuji sighs, taking a bite of the cereal while mumbling, “Don’t patronize me.” 
You follow suit, taking a bite of the food and humming with satisfaction. “Yuuji…” You begin, chewing your food slowly to build suspense. Placing your finger in a curve above your lips. 
Yuuji’s eyes light up with excitement, nodding his head excitedly, “Yeah!” 
You nod a few more times, taking another spoonful and chewing slowly. “Yes, I see.” You look him dead in the eye, “It’s… exactly the same.” That’s not a complete lie, but you can admit it’s more fun to eat now. Less poky and hard. 
Yuuji collapses on the floor, crumbling to his knees. “You kill me a little every single day.” He sticks his tongue out, a small ‘bleh!’ leaving his mouth, “If I die at the ripe age of forty, I’m blaming you.”
You laugh, patting his head while you continue to eat your food. “It’s okay Yuuji, I’ll probably be in my death bed right next to you.” You quickly finish your meal, placing it in the sink while lowering Yuuji’s bowl to his height. Allowing him to take it from your hands and continue his food. 
“I’m going to be getting ready.” You pat his head again, a part of you tempted to kiss his head, but you suffice with the head pat. “You enjoy your food, babe, I’ll be getting changed.” You start to walk to your room, before pausing for a moment, “Also, I’m not going to my classes today.” 
Yuuji stuffs his face with food, while his eyebrows pull together in a worried expression. “What, why?” He stands up, shoving his plate in the sink. “Are you not feeling well? Or, did something else happen?” He’s worried, which is endearing.
“No, I’m okay.” You reassure him, and continue to your room with Yuuji behind you. “I just have some work to catch up on, and some other stuff happening.” You wave your hand dismissively, “Some family stuff I need to work out with my parents.” 
Yuuji pouts, “Oh, I hope everything works out, then…” He scratches the back of his neck, his cheeks tinting in red ever so slight, “If… if you have anything you want to talk about, I know Nobara is your best friend and all, but you can talk to me, too.” 
You stop, looking at him from your shoulder with a bit of a dumbfounded look, before a smile builds on your lips. Immediately turning on your heel and hugging him, arms snuggly around his torso. “Don’t worry, Yuuji, it’s nothing bad.” You squeeze him a bit tighter, then pull away while smiling at him. “And, thank you.” You tilt your head, “I hope you can also come to me with any problems you might have.”
Yuuji smiles at that, nodding eagerly. “I promise I will!” 
“You make it sound like you’re going to look for a reason to cry in my arms now.” You move to your door, pushing it open with a small huff. 
“Maybe, I am.” Yuuji grabs his red converse and sits down on the floor to put them on, “Uhg! Ouh!...” He groans, placing his fist against his chest as if he stabbed himself, “I think I’ve been stabbed, or worse…” He lets his head fall, “I think my childhood trauma is coming back again.”
You laugh, moving from your door and hugging his head, pulling it into your chest. “Awh, my poor poor baby, it’s okay.” You tap his head, kissing his hair. “It’s okay, it’s okay, I’m here.” 
Yuuji lets his hands fall slack to his sides, you can feel his lashes blinking, tickling your skin slightly. “I…” He slowly starts, a bit unsure, “Uh, I don’t know if I weirdly like this, or really, really hate it.”
You loudly laugh, finally standing back up, “Maybe, you’re touched deprived.” You enter your room, “It’s okay if you are, Yuuji, we all are.” You glance at your room, the clock on your drawer catching your attention. It makes you loudly gasp, “Wait, Yuuji, it’s almost time for the bus to be here!” 
Yuuji panics, shoving his shoes on while not bothering to tie the laces. “Oh crap! I completely forgot about the time!” He pushes himself on his feet, running into his room and grabbing his bag, sloppily throwing it over his shoulders.
You giggle a bit, pushing yourself on the hallway wall and letting him pass you, “Have a good day Yuuji, I’ll wait for you to come back.” You kindly wave goodbye, but it’s not returned, which you don’t dwindle too much on. 
You move to your room, picking out an outfit which was somewhat suitable for a nice day in, while being equally as comfortable. Some black yoga pants, with some white socks and matching leg warmers, along with an oversized gray sweatshirt.
You’re quick to grab your computer, opening it up only to get an unfavorable reminder of the unfinished project you have yet to complete. It’s definitely… close to being complete, but close in the sense of; You feel like it’s only a few more paragraphs, but the moment you start writing you realize how much more you have to add before it’s actually done. 
Whatever, you have the whole day to try and complete it. 
You open your contacts, click your father’s name for a facetime and hold your breath until he picks up. You’re immediately greeted by his forehead when he does answer, which makes you stifle a small laugh. 
“Hi, dad.” You whisper, waving politely as you scoot back and lean on your bed, your computer propped on the small coffee table, “You need to bring the phone back more, so I can see you.” You say with a small laugh. 
“Oh.” He extends his arm all the way, letting you see the room he’s in and a good chunk of his body. “Is that better?”
You laugh, nodding your head, “Mhm, it’s perfect.” You grab a blanket, wrapping it around your shoulders, “You can set up the phone on something, that way you don’t have to hold it.” You point at the desk behind him, “Set it up on your desk.”
You dad nods, setting up the camera–with a few slips–and nodding to himself in pride once it sits comfortably on the light. “I got it, baby, I told you I could do it.” He gives you a cheeky thumbs up, before narrowing his eyes at the phone. 
You mimic his actions, before crossing your legs over one another, “Do you like the place? I get free accommodation for this month.” You say with an unsure smile, twisting your computer to let the camera record the whole room. 
“Nothing is for free…” He tells you with an unimpressed expression. 
“No, I’m very much living here for free.” You push your hair behind your shoulders, “Although, I do have to live with…” You cringe, taking in a deep breath. “I have to live with two brothers…” You awkwardly wait for your father’s reaction, but it doesn’t come. Which makes you feel even worse if he just scolds you. 
He thinks for a moment, “Are they making you clean or cook for them? Or worse?” He grabs his chest, “...Are they–are they distracting you from your studies?” He seems extremely distressed by this idea, almost tearing up.  
You slap your head, “No, dad, they’re not distracting me from my studies, or making me clean or cook for them.” You lean on the table, resting your cheek on your hand, “You already know I can’t cook for the life of me.” 
Your dad thinks again, “Huh, I guess you’re right.” He sighs, “What are we going to do with you?” He stands up, “Here, I’m guessing you want to see your mom, I’ll go get her for you.” He pretends it’s a chore, dragging his feet on the ground, while loudly sighing, before laughing to himself and prancing away. 
You giggle, waiting patiently for your mom. When she does, she sits on the chair of the desk, passing you a small wave. Her face is extremely relaxed, drooping a bit. 
You wave with a smile, “Hi mom.” 
You watch as she lifts her hands, waving back. Her face remains the same, uninteresting and droopy. Paralyzed, and unable to move. But, you know if she could, she would smile back at you. 
You feel your bottom lips wobble, before you narrow your eyes at her, “Have you been taking your meds? I know you tend to get off them.” You point your finger at her playfully, “I know you tend to go long without them, too. It’s probably why you can hear colors now.”
She laughs, but it’s more gargled and tiresome, mumbled in an inhuman way, her face remains the same, but her throat contracts with her laughter. She lifts her hands, telling you, “I have been taking them, doctor.” 
You nod approvingly, finally looking at her face again, “Good. I don’t want to make a call again.” It’s a bit humorous now, but not three weeks ago when your dad—with full seriousness—screamed at you, ‘She’s off her meds!’ Which… is the situation boiled down to something funny and simple. It unfortunately didn’t feel like that when it happened. 
“You are living somewhere new? I heard you said for free.” Your mother tells you, her hands are a bit shaky with age. It’s something you’ve grown used to. 
“Yeah, I made a friend and they offered their place to me when the original apartment didn’t work out.” You sigh, waving your hand dismissively, “I’ll tell you all about it when I come for Christmas. It’s a long story.”
Your mom pauses for a moment, and you know, if it weren’t for her paralyzed face, she would be smiling at you right now. It hurts when you think about something in that nature. “Can not wait to hear, baby.” 
You nod, a bit of worry falling over your face, “Are you okay? I’m sorry I had to leave so fast, but I couldn’t miss another week of school.” You shake your head, scratching the back of your head. “I’m actually really behind right now, and had to skip today…”
“Naughty girl.” She shakes her head, “I thought I taught you better. But, I’m alright, just a bad episode. Nothing I couldn’t tough through.” She taps her face, looking at it through the call, “Besides, who knew it would be that bad, right?” 
You can’t help but feel your chest tighten a small bit, “Yeah…” You lean to the side, trying to find a way to change the conversation. “But, uhm, how has the family been? Anything interesting happened in the few weeks I left?” You pass her a shaky uneven smile. 
“Thank you for coming.” Your mother tells you, “I’m sure it was scary to receive that call, I’m sorry I put you through that.” Ever since you were a teen, she developed the ability to read you like an open book. 
You pass her an empathetic smile, shaking your head softly, “Don’t worry, I was just freaking out. Besides, I’m always happy to help, it’s why I stayed so long, mom.” You wave your hand reassuringly. “I love you.” 
She nods, lifting her hand. She points her pinky up, then, her pointer and thumb. Followed by her pinky and thumb, while she presses the rest of your fingers to her palm. It’s a phrase you’re more used to reading from her, than you are hearing from her. “I love you.” 
It makes your chest squeeze, your eyes glossing over just a bit. 
The rest of the conversation is brief, saying a quick hi to your sibling, and telling a few details about your academic life. Mentioning a few names such as Yuuji, Megumi, Nobara, and–of course–Sukuna. Of which she picks up on an unsure eyebrow quirk. 
She is all over that. All of which you shut down immediately. Well, not immediately… or very firmly. But, enough to where she’s sufficing with a small head nod.
Even when the end calls, you’re still reeling in slight embarrassment, cupping your face as you try to calm down. Curse, Sukuna. He can go away forever. Speaking of Sukuna, you really need to give that project more of your attention. 
You instinctively reach for your phone, for the video message recorded on it, only to remember, “Shit, I left it in the kitchen.” You open your door, moving to the kitchen. You can hear a muffled conversation, which you don’t think much of–unfortunately–in favor of your cellular device. 
You falter for a moment when your eyes land on the couple standing at the front door. Sukuna’s back is to you, leaning on the door frame, while the blonde woman is talking to him with a sweet smile. An airy laughing while occasionally pushing his shoulder, chest, or arm
You instantly want to turn back, come back to retrieve your phone in a few minutes, but before you can do that, you and the blonde woman lock eyes. Her sentence or obnoxious laugh–you can’t tell what the difference is–coming to a quick pause. 
She waves, grabbing Sukuna’s arm while saying, “Awh, look! It’s your little roomie.” She smiles, when Sukuna finally turns to look at you, “You should probably spend some time with her, I know she’s jealous since I have your attention.” 
You glare at her, hate and spite brewing in your head, venom to spite back at her bubbling your throat and burning to be let loose. But, you compose yourself, passing her a simple eye roll and walking to the kitchen to retrieve your phone. 
“Damn, looks like she’s scared of me.” She whines, “Looks like you aren’t his favorite anymore, huh?” She sings, tilting her head to the side, to peer at you from the door frame. “Don’t worry, I completely understand, I would be upset if I wasn’t his favorite toy anymore–”
“You’re ugly, and your sexy face is absolutely horrendous.” You tuck your phone into your yoga pocket, “I would know, I saw the picture.” You loosely point at Sukuna, “In fact, we laughed at you. Then, he told me to block you, for the second time.” You blink a few times, “Babe, we both know you’re not even a toy to Sukuna, you’re just a fly.” 
She blinks a few times, her eyes moving to Sukuna in some form of support, only to see it not given to her. It’s just a side profile of Sukuna looking at you while he bites the inside of his cheek. Is the fucker trying not to laugh at her?! She scoffs, turning on her heel and leaving the house. Slamming the door behind her. 
You’re upset, and Sukuna can see that. 
“You know, some support would’ve been nice?” You whisper, but your voice grows with spite as you add, “Defending myself is fucking embarrassing. Especially when you’re fucking her while I’m in the same house as you.” You go to the kitchen to grab your phone, tucking it into your pocket once you finally get it in your hands. 
Sukuna doesn’t say anything, “Things aren’t lik–” 
You shake your head, “I don’t want to hear it.” You wave him off, making your way back to your room. “You’re clearly too caught up in old nasty habits to be talked to.” You huff, instantly hugging yourself for some weird form of comfort.
Sukuna’s eye twitches, and something inside him snaps at your words. He doesn’t know why, but it sets him off, all the weird and unknown emotions from the weekend bubbling up and spitting venom at you. “What the fuck is your problem?!” Sukuna barks at you, moving after you with heavy footsteps. 
You instantly turn on your heel, making him stop dead in his tracks while you point at his face. “Don’t you even start with that! Don’t give me the innocent, ‘I did absolutely nothing!’ Bullshit, because you did. You know exactly what you did!” Suddenly, it feels like the stresses from the past weeks you’ve been through are boiling up and spitting out.
Sukuna takes a few steps back while shoving his head into his sweat pockets. “Sure, tell me then? What did I do?” He glares at you, passing you an annoyed eye roll. “What did I do to you that was possibly so fuckin’ bad?”
You scoff at this, rolling your eyes as you turn your head away from him. “Oh please, I know you’re not stupid, Sukuna. Why don’t you piece together the puzzle for me?” You wrinkle your nose, pinching the bridge of it.
“What? You’re going to be like every other girl and throw the ‘I was using you,’ excuse at me? God, that shit is so fuckin’ annoying.” He rolls his eyes, waving you off. “You’re acting like you’re so innocent and perfect, too pretty and sweet to ever hurt anyone.” 
You blink a disbelief, “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” 
Sukuna laughs at you, “Oh, as if you don’t know.” He pulls his hands out his pockets, sitting on the ledge of the couch. “You’re worse than me.” He looks away from you, licking his teeth, “I’ve seen the way you hang off Yuuji. Toying and touching his body. Then, follow me around with hearts in your eyes.” 
You scowl at him, “Are you kidding me?!” You slap your hands over your eyes, “I already told you me and Yuuji are just friends. How many times do I need to drill that into your head?!” 
Sukuna scoffs at that, “Right, and you’re telling me Yuuji knows that? That he’s just letting you do these things to him. Letting you get close and show him love without anything else behind it?” 
You can see where he's coming from, but you’re too pissed to care. You’re not looking at him, “Oh my god, what is this even about? I’ve already told you, no, I’m just his friend. I care about Yuuji, and I don’t want to do anything with him.” You explain, a bit desperately. “He is more than aware of that.” Yuuji knows I like you. 
“Right, you’re just so helpful. Never hurting anyone by saying or doing anything that could hurt them.” Sukuna rubs his face exasperated, “I swear, you’re just like everyone else–”
This makes you follow him into the living room, “I can’t believe you’re grouping me with other girls right now, I can’t believe you’re treating me like I’m some other girl you can just–” 
“Throw out?” He cuts you off, walking into the living room. Your expression falls at this, your shoulders tensing, while pain dancing between your eyes. Sukuna feeds off this. “Yeah, believe it or not, doll, you’re not that special, a week spent with me isn’t going to give you any sort of special treatment.” He laughs, pointing at the kitchen, “If you want, I can give you a cookie if that’ll make you feel better.”
You feel your eyebrows furrow, your bottom lip quivering ever so slightly. “Why is it wrong with you? Why are you acting like this? It feels like you’re trying to hurt me right now.” You gesture at him, “I swear, you’re acting like you don’t know me.” 
“Because, I don’t. You don’t know me, I don’t know you, this is what we agreed on.” Sukuna throws his hands in the air annoyedly. 
“Stop saying that!” You can feel your eyes glaze over a bit, which makes you turn your back to him and move to the dining room table. “That whole deal–is fucking bullshit, stop bringing it up. It isn’t helping you right now.” 
You can hear Sukuna sigh, rolling his eyes as he says, “Right, completely forgot. How could I forget the amount of times you threw it in my face during the week. Shit, completely my fault.” 
You furrow your eyebrows at him, your jaw dropping a bit, “Are you mad at me?” You ask in shock, “Oh my god, wait, do you think you’re the victim here? Do you really think that I’m the bad guy, and you’re somehow–”
“You’re not the good guy.” Sukuna barks back, “Fuck. Why do you think you’re the good person here? You’re just like me–” 
“What are we talking about?!” You yell, “I have no idea why you’re mad at me–just tell me what’s wrong, or what I did wrong.” You sigh, leaning your head back slightly with exhaustion, “You can’t throw an argument in my face, when I don’t even know what you’re talking about.” 
“That makes it worse.” He tells you, a bit more calmly than before, “You have your reason why you’re angry with me, and I have mine.” 
“But, you can’t be mad at me over something I’ve never done!” You’re raising your voice again, and you will scold yourself later, but right now your emotions are all over the place. “Just tell me why you’re mad at me.” 
Sukuna bites his cheek, looking away with an annoyed expression, “Oh please, I know you’re not stupid, doll, why don’t you piece the puzzle together for me.” Instantly, your words from Thursday bounce in his head, and his chest tightens in pain. Now, this conversation hurts. 
It really hurts. 
“The stuff you said at the party.” You start, your hands shaking, this conversation is what you’ve been terrified to have. Now, you’re forced to have it with your emotions running wild, and no game plan on how to approach it. “You did stuff with me, knowing you were just going to dump me the next day.” 
Sukuna passes you an unreadable expression, “Don’t pretend you didn’t know that, you constantly reminded both of us.” He passes you a cocky smile, “Don't forget, you were the one who literally said you were a burner phone the day before. What else was that supposed to mean? I’m supposed to keep you around after I make the call?” 
“Are you seriously saying that since I was used, you didn’t need me anymore?” You’re in disbelief, but more importantly, in so much more pain. “You just want to toss me out?” 
It’s silent. 
It’s so silent, you can hear your heart beating in your heart. A part of you thinks you can hear Sukuna’s. 
Sukuna leans back on the arm rest of the couch, licking his canines as he looks away from you. “What else would burner phone mean?” He’s still not looking at you, but his expression isn’t filled with anger anymore, it looks more… pained. It looks like.. Sukuna is equally as hurt as you. “You said it yourself.” When he says your name to punctuate the sentence, it feels like a weapon stabbing into your chest. 
You feel your bottom lips wobble, “No, stop.” You whisper at him, “You knew, and I knew, that wasn’t going to happen. You weren’t just going to pretend nothing happened, the deal was a lie from the moment we made it. We knew this. You knew this.” You finally turn to look at him, finding composure to finally speak. “I know–and you can lie to my face, say you don’t care about me, but I know you do.” It’s scary to say that, knowing he may disagree. 
Sukuna stills at this, unsure of what to say, before forcing the words out, “Don’t flatter yourself.” He crosses his arms over his chest, “I swear, it’s like you actually like me.” 
You feel your eyes water again, “You’re so!–Ugh.” You twist your head away from him, whipping your eyes with the back of your hand. You absolutely hate that you can’t so much as yell without your eyes watering. 
Sukuna laughs, “Wait, don’t tell me…” He tilts his head to the side, trying to look at your face, “You want to be with me, you actually want to be with me?” He laughs again, his hand placed over his face, “That’s so funny. Didn’t I tell you to drop that stupid fuckin’ dream?” 
This makes you snap, yelling, “I don’t want to be with you! Why can’t you understand that!” Your chest is hurting, your heart pounding in your chest. You’re lying right now, you’re lying to Sukuna and yourself, why are you lying right now?
Still, the words keep pouring out, “I would never want to be with you–be with someone like you. You’re terrible at communicating, an asshole, full of himself, and a horrible pers–” You slap your hand over your mouth, stopping yourself. 
Sukuna clenches his jaw, pushing himself off the couch, “You think so?” He laughs to himself, “You don’t even know how fuckin’ horrible I can get, you want to hurt?” He stands up straight, collecting himself in a way. 
It feels like your chest is tearing in pain, a part of you wants to ask, ‘What do you mean?’ But, you don’t have the strength, more or less the willpower to know the answer. What else could Sukuna possibly say to hurt you even more than now? A part of you is thankful he doesn’t finish, it’s a question left in the air, and you’re happy for that. You’re glad he has some power to not say something that will completely tear you apart. 
Sukuna sighs, nodding his head to himself, “But, I’m glad we can agree. Who would want to be with someone like you?” He says with a smile, but it’s uneven and shaky, almost wobbly, “So, does this mean you can stop bitching at me? You can finally hop off my dick and leave me the fuck alone.” 
You’re breathing shakily, you instantly open your mouth to spit more venom at him, before you stop. Letting silence fill the area, it is heavy, and painful. You can even hear Sukuna’s heavy breathing. “You don’t mean that…” It’s not even a whisper, but you know Sukuna can hear it. 
Sukuna doesn’t respond.
You finally feel your tears slide down your cheeks, hot and wet, “What are we even arguing about? Why are we arguing?” You sound tired, your voice is a bit strained and small. “If you want me to leave you alone–not talk to you, why are you arguing with me right now?” You thickly swallow, “You don’t just argue with someone you don’t care for, Sukuna.” 
Sukuna still doesn’t look at you, just walks to the kitchen and grabs his keys. “Sure.” He starts walking to the garage. When it clicks what he’s doing, you feel your heart squeeze in pain. 
He’s leaving. 
More tears slide down your cheeks, “Don’t leave.” You whisper, watching as he walks towards the garage door. “Please, don’t leave me.” You cup your face, trying to hide your tears. “I want to talk, let me talk to you…”
That seems to spark Sukuna, his body freezing mid step. You can see him shaking, his eyes trained on the doorknob. His lips together, his eyes narrowing, he slowly shakes his head. “I can’t.” He whispers, opening the door, then mouthing, ‘I’m sorry.’
When the door closes, you crumble to the floor. Sobbing with a heave as you break down. You wish you could go back in time to the beginning of the previous week, you wish you could take back everything you said, you wish you never agreed to Sukuna’s deal, and you wish… more than everything in this world. 
That you didn’t like Sukuna. You wish you didn’t fall apart over a stupid conversation, because he just doesn’t care about you. You wish the argument between the two of you wasn’t as painful as it is. 
You wish you could just hug him, and cry into his arms while he consoles you. Whispering, apologizing, and explaining how he feels. You just want to know what he’s feeling, what he thinks… You don’t believe he doesn’t care. 
You refuse to. 
It hurts too much to believe him. 
Little do you know, Sukuna crumbles to his feet with you. 
・ 。゚☆:  *・ November 14th, 2023 ☽ .* :☆゚.
Wednesday
Class was… it was something. You were distant, bored, and mentally not there. Even Gojo noticed something was wrong with you, but you shrugged him off. Nobara passed him an empathetic look, before quickly following after you. 
Even at your club, most of your peers were asking things along the lines of, ‘Are you okay?’ or, ‘Did something happen?’ and, ‘Do you just want to go home?’ maybe, ‘You look rough, president.’ But, it was all in vain, you remained silent the entire time. Keeping your attention on paperwork you had been avoiding up until the point, not bothering to even pass a single word to anyone. You were incredibly quiet the entire day. Even now, on the way home, you’re still incredibly quiet.
You lean on Yuuji’s shoulder, holding his hand as a form of comfort. Sneaking small pieces of his food to snack on. You’re wearing sunglasses, which constantly fall down your nose with each bump from the bus. 
Yuuji is resting his head on yours, his eyes on your head. He came home to you in your room, softly sniffling, while your eyes were red and swollen. Yuuji quickly pieced what happened by his brother’s absence and your silent cries. It reminds him too much of himself years ago.
Even when the two of you enter the house, discarding your blocky sunglasses on the counter, your eyes are still puffy, and Sukuna is still gone. Yuuji is quick to make an ice pack, wrapping it with a paper towel and holding it to you. “It can help with swelling.” 
You pass him a pathetic smile, but it’s more to the floor than to Yuuji, not only is your vision impaired by your swollen eye, but your vision is literally impaired, and wearing glasses somewhere outside the private space of your room sounds very unappealing.
You take the ice pack and press it to your eyes, leaning on the island counter and sighing. You reach your hand out for Yuuji, which he gives you immediately. “Thanks, Yuuji, this means a lot.” You laugh a little bit, “I feel like your child right now.” 
Yuuji laughs, “Don’t worry, I’m used to dealing with crying people.” He looks to the side, scratching the back of his neck. “My ex-girlfriend was a real cryer when we were together. And, you know, there was this one time a girl was sobbing at my door for Sukuna.” 
You groan at that, letting your head fall for a moment, “Are you okay with this?” You ask softly, “I don’t know, I feel like it can be so exhausting, especially since it’s your brother.” Especially with what you’ve been through, is what you want to say. 
Yuuji tilts his head to the side, thinking for a moment, “Uh, no?” He shrugs, “Well, maybe I did when I was younger, but… now it’s a bit different.” He notices the way you tense, a small smile building on his lips, “I’m guessing he told you what happened?” 
You cringe a bit, pulling the ice pack down from your eyes. “I’m sorry, Yuuji, I really didn’t want to pry, but I just feel… terrible. You know? I’m sorry, this is probably worse for you.” You look away from him a bit ashamed. 
Yuuji laughs, shaking his head, “It’s fine, I don’t even want to hear an apology.” He bites the inside of his cheek, mumbling, ‘Sukuna owes you an apology…’ Before placing his hand on your shoulder, “But, I know why Sukuna is the way he is, and I’m just waiting until he’s comfortable to talk about it.” 
That gives you some small reassurance, you wrap your arms around him, hugging him tiger then you’ve hugged most people in your life. You whisper, “Thank you so much, Yuuji, you’re really an amazing person.” You close your eyes, bringing him closer, “I’m sure it was really hard on you, too.” 
Yuuji sighs, hugging you back, “Yeah, don’t worry.” Your name punctuates the sentence softly, and lovingly. His forehead resting on yours, “But, this is nice.” You giggle, nodding your head in agreement.
Only for the cute moment to be ruined by a knock, both you and Yuuji popping your head toward the direction. You blink a few times, slowly asking, “Did you invite someone?” You slowly pull away from his arms, pressing the ice pack against one of your arms. 
Yuuji shakes his head, “Sukuna?” 
You cringe at that name, praying inside your head it isn’t Sukuna at the door. “Who knows.” You turn away, tempted to hide in your room. You almost do, your feet naturally turning in the direction, getting ready to leave. 
Yuuji notices, “Here, wait, I’ll check the peephole for you. I’ll see who's there.” He smiles, skipping to the door, trying to distract you, “Who knows? Maybe, it's a solicitor.” 
You raise your eyebrows, switching the ice pack to a different eye. “You sound way too excited for a solicitor…” You’re even tempted to follow after him, but quickly decide that is a really bad idea. “What if what they’re selling you is complete garbage?” 
Yuuji shrugs, “Don’t tell Sukuna this, but I buy everything they offer.” He smiles to himself, hand on the door knob. “On his card, phone number, and email, of course.” He laughs a little bit, “I can always hear him complaining about weird magazines, or email chains he’s mysteriously signed up to.” 
You pass him a curious look, Yuuji just shrugs at this, “Hey, I can still be over what happened, but I like to think this is my revenge for all those years ago.” 
You laugh again, making your way to the fridge. “Good for you, Yuuji.” You open the freezer, trying to find a frozen bag of peas, or any other frozen bag of vegetables. It’s also a way to hide your face when Yuuji opens the door, in the case where it is Sukuna at the door. 
Despite the distance being short between you and the door, you can’t really hear the conversation he’s having, which automatically makes you assume it is a solicitor. Until you hear a very distinct, “Oh, that makes a lot of sense!” From Yuuji. 
Weird, you think. Naturally wanting to look at who Yuuji is talking to, but you keep your attention on yourself. It could be a solicitor, and you sincerely don’t have the money to even entertain that idea. 
You close the freezer door, tilting your head at Yuuji with one good eye. He turns his head to look at you, passing you a kind and comforting smile, “It’s for you!” He takes a few steps back, a gesture that makes you naturally move to the door to take his spot. 
For me? You mentally think. Who would be here for you? You haven’t invited anyone over, more or less spoken to anyone besides Yuuji the entire day. So, who would be here to see you? Maybe, Nobara with a surprise ‘cheer up!’ visit? You hope not…
But, when you finally reach the door, you feel your lips part in shock, blinking at the person in front of you. Their white hair flutters with a soft blow in the wind, you don’t know how to react, more or less feel, to the sight of their face. It isn’t jealousy, but it isn’t excitement either. Their face is blank, emotionless, a stark contrast to when you first met them. 
“Uraume?”
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Next Chapter: Ch. 6 - Forgiveness?
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Tag(s): Tag(s)!: @openup-yourmind, @sherlock-holmes-jr, @maskedpacific, @gasp-a-homo, @diogodxlot, @beahappyhoeee, @tojimeow, @sukunamylovexoxo, @yoontaedotin, @sukunaloverrr, @lanadelreylover4l, @raininginthemoonlight, @blackjanexx, @ethereally-lyann, @fritzzbitzz, @lanadelreylover4l, @chayunwoo, @madamteller
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A/N: Hi hi everyone!! So, as of now, this was the last chapter that I pre-wrote, (excluding chapter 8) which means now, unfortunately, you do have to wait until I finish next chapter for an update. But, don't you worry too much, chapter six will come out sometime this, or next week. (Chapter 7 is more iffy on time.)
But, thank you for all the support so far, it genuinely has been so nice to hear what you think about the story, and how you feel about the characters. I'll try to have the next chapter out asap!
Thank for you reading! 🩷🥹
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kitashousewife · 5 months
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your company christmas party is just as boring as you thought it would be. old christmas music, bland food, a very uneventful gift exchange, and now for the worst part.
small talk.
you’ve been staring at the ice left in the bottom of your plastic cup for what feels like an hour, while some of your co-workers drone on about different work related topics. they held the party after work, so you’re still in business casual when really all you want right now is to be in some sweats on the couch.
“man, this party sucks,” kuroo pulls up a folding chair next to you, slapping the brand new desk name tag he got during the gift exchange next to your cup.
“why didn’t you help plan it?” your question comes out more desperate than you had intended, hoping maybe next year he’ll take this on to save everyone from boredom.
“i wasn’t asked,” he takes a sip of watered-down lemonade. “why didn’t you?”
“didn’t have the time,” you sigh. kuroo nods, understanding far too well. the two of you have worked together for a few months now, more recently on a report that was presented earlier today. he’s definitely become your favorite co worker.
for a lot of reasons.
“did you try the cake?” kuroo points to the food table, but you shake your head.
“everything i’ve tasted tonight has been so bad, i’m scared to try anything else.”
kuroo snorts. you give him a smile, and a silence washes over the two of you for a few moments. your co workers conversation at the table has picked up, louder and more involved than before.
“hey,” kuroo whispers, leaning close to your ear. “think we can sneak out of here without getting caught?”
you think for a second. your boss was adamant that everyone stay tonight, and you just know if anyone sees the two of you leave together that people will talk.
“you go first, i’ll meet you outside. just say you’re headed to the bathroom. i’ll grab my things,” you whisper back, and kuroo smiles. he clears his throat, stands up, and heads for the door. you give him a few minutes before making your own exit, only getting stopped once on the way.
“good, i thought you bailed on me,” kuroo smirks from outside the office door, back against the street light. he’s swinging his keys on his finger, clearly excited to leave.
“of course not. just had to wait for my chance to slip out.”
“well, i’m starving. that food was disgusting, and i need a drink. care to join?”
the warmth of your cheeks is a stark contrast to the frozen night air. you’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this moment, wishing it would come.
“yeah, i would. you lead the way,” you smile, but kuroo shakes his head. he slides off his pea coat before handing it to you.
“put this on first,” he grins when you’re finally engulfed in the wool, gesturing his hand down the street.
you feel dizzy, overwhelmed by the scent of his cologne that engulfs you, and the fact that kuroo tetsuro is now grabbing you by the hand to lead you around downtown. once in the restaurant and seated, you finally feel yourself slipping back to reality.
“next year, i’m not going to that shit,” kuroo looks over the menu for a moment before laughing. “do you think they picked the food as a punishment?”
you raise an eyebrow. “the food? what about the music? seriously, what century are we in?”
kuroo smirks. “c’mon, the gift exchange wasn’t bad. what did you get?”
you roll your eyes. “nothing, just something small.”
“tell me!”
you sip your water, shaking your head. “tetsuro, it’s nothing-“
“if it’s nothing, then tell me.” his grin is almost teasing. you sigh, and pull a mug out from your purse, printed with your name.
spelled incorrectly.
“amazing,” he laughs, examining the mug. “what if i told you i got it for you?”
you about spit out your drink. “then next year, i’d watch out. i’ll make sure to get your name.”
he raises an eyebrow. “next year? no, next year you and i are bowing the party and coming straight here,”
your heart skips a beat, but he doesn’t notice.
“sounds like a plan.”
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papercranesandpride · 2 months
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Can we talk about The Giver by Lois Lowry from the perspective of a loveless person?
I'm going to start with a passage that runs through my head all the time when I think about my lovelessness, because it resonates with me in pretty much the exact opposite way that it's supposed to.
"Do you love me?" There was an awkward silence for a moment. Then Father gave a little chuckle. "Jonas. You, of all people. Precision of language, please!" "What do you mean?" Jonas asked. Amusement was not at all what he had anticipated. "Your father means that you used a very generalized word, so meaningless that it's become almost obsolete," his mother explained carefully. Jonas stared at them. Meaningless? He had never before felt anything as meaningful as the memory. "And of course our community can't function smoothly if people don't use precise language. You could ask, 'Do you enjoy me?' The answer is 'Yes,'" his mother said. "Or," his father suggested, "'Do you take pride in my accomplishments?' And the answer is wholeheartedly 'Yes.'" "Do you understand why it's inappropriate to use a word like 'love'?" Mother asked. Jonas nodded. "Yes, thank you, I do," he replied slowly. It was his first lie to his parents
I agree with Jonas' parents here. You aren't supposed to agree with them, because they're expression the views of the average person in this dystopian society where love has been eliminated. You're supposed to think "wow, this is a really fucked up society if parents don't love their children." More importantly, you're supposed to think "wow, this is a really fucked up society if no one feels love at all." But I agree with them. "I enjoy you" is a vastly more correct and useful thing for me to say. I do wish people used more precise language instead of the term that's been diluted to meaninglessness. I would love a world where we say things like "I'm happier when I talk to you" or "it's cool to be able to say I know someone so talented" instead of "I love you." That's exactly what I'd like.
I just... As someone who grew up to be loveless, it scares me how much I loved this book as a kid. I grew up to be the kind of person this book views as missing an essential part of the human experience. Lois Lowry thinks that being like me is dystopic. It's not fun to realize that about a book I read over and over, and then read again in school as the first book I really, properly analyzed for English class. Some fundamental part of me was formed when I wrote my first very angsty fanfiction about it for a school project. And this book looks at me with revulsion.
Lois Lowry is just wrong. I used to feel love and then stopped feeling it (and I need to post about that sometime, because all the loveless people I see talk about never having felt love and so I want to voice my own experience). I don't think I'm missing out. I have no desire to get it back. To be clear, I don't think I'm better off without it, either. It's a neutral thing. Some people feel it, some people don't feel it, and neither group is worse off. I wasn't any happier with it than I am without it.
I don't really have a point, except just that it sucks that the whole origin point of the teen dystopia craze that formed all of YA during my peak YA-reading years sees lovelessness as bad. But you know. Of course it does. So does the rest of the culture.
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scaredofbrits · 10 days
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having the afton men as your bosses
william afton & micheal afton hcs
nsfw headcannons will be colored red.
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william afton ✦
• he was a very serious man, to say the least. he didnt want any of his workers to see him act like a goof.
• "none of you will be prepared for the real world if you cannot behave correctly at your job."
• but then you came along. and every bit of respect he had for his reputation was shattered. not with other people, of course, but with you.
• instead of seeing william as your tough boss, you saw him as your literal reason to wake up everyday.
• and to him, you were his pretty little assistant. his good girl, even.
• sometimes, he'd give you extra work just to see you everyday.
• and other times, that work would lead to staying at the job extra late.
• once you would finish all that hard extra work, he'd reward you in various ways.
• "you did such a good job for me." he'd grin as he fingered you with all his power and speed.
• "my slutty little assistant fucking herself on my fingers.."
• his praise and degrading could drive anyone crazy for more.
• when you two would have sex during work hours, he'd tease you about noise the whole time.
• "shhhh, you don't want all your friends to know how cock thirsty you are.." and he'd cover your mouth.
• he made more than sure to fuck you so rough that your moans were extremely loud, and youd leave his office embarrassed.
• but what you didnt know was that the walls were soundproof. he just liked fucking around with you.
• nothing surprised him more than seeing your whore side for the first time. and oh did he love seeing it.
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micheal afton ✦
• he was super sweet to all of his workers. bringing gifts, joking around, and being kind overall was his specialty.
• "how did you all sleep today?" he'd say over the intercom with genuine curiosity.
• once you had become his assistant, he could not resist you. a different side of him came along. a more needy one.
• he was always buying you gorgeous flowers every single day. and even though you were his assistant, he demanded nothing from you.
• and since he was an amazing conversation starter, you'd usually be found sitting on top of his desk talking to him.
• when your shift was over, he'd always say "time goes by so fast, doesnt it?" and that was his trick to make you stay.
• "a few more minutes, please? i'll do anything, gorgeous, please." was his other go to.
• he loved seeing you on top of his desk like you owned it. and he also loved seeing you mess around with his name plate on the desk. just fidgeting with it.
• and he wished youd fidget with him. just use him and treat him like your little fuck toy.
• one time, you wore a skirt to work. and of course that pervert kept sneaking glances at your revealed thighs and panties. those sights made his cock throb.
• and when he got horny? oh you were in for it. so much begging. "touch me please please please. look at how hard i am baby, please."
• "its okay if you dont wanna touch me, i'll touch myself and you can watch. tell me thats okay mommy. please."
• it was definitely hard to say no, especially with those puppy eyes he'd give. he acted like you getting rid of his boner was the best thing to ever happen to him.
• and when youd suck him off occasionally, he would absolutely lose it. he loved your mouth so much and he felt the need to repay you the same way.
• if you pleased him a certain way, he'd try his hardest to make it up to you the same way. suck him off? he'll eat you out. hand job? you get fingered.
• at the end of the day, all he wanted to do was be a good boy for his gorgeous girl. sometimes flowers didnt feel like enough to please you, so he had to try other ways.
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catt-leya · 1 year
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Fucking Brat || Rick Grimes 18+
This one was requested by an anon and I think it's not my best work but anyways I'm wishing you a lot of fun hihi 💗
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Summary: Rick and you aren't going along well because you can't accept him as your leader. Until you catch him masturbating and he shows you what you'll have to do to get fucked by him.
Trigger: throat fucking, degrading, humiliation, dirty talk, masturbation and my usual smutty stuff
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The sun burns pleasantly on your skin as you sit on the grass in front of the prison and let yourself fall onto your back.
It's been a long time since you've had a moment to yourself since you and your people joined the group in this prison. 
It's not that it's a bad place and you're forced to work hard, but in the world you live in now, hard work is inevitable. Everyone has to do their part and you too have your hands full most of the time.
That's why you enjoy every little free moment you can get, especially now when no one else is in your immediate vicinity either.
For a long time you were outside with your people and it was important to always have someone around to protect each other, but when Rick found you a few weeks ago, a lot of things changed.
Rick.
The man who's been acting like the man in charge around here and has driven you up the wall more than once.
You understand the position he holds with the people who have lived here for some time, but just because he gives them orders and they are obeyed doesn't mean you will immediately comply either. When you lived in the forest, they were your people and they still are. 
At least they are to you.
During the first few weeks, your people still asked your opinion when Rick ordered something, but the more time has passed, the less frequent the visits have become and you realize that they have accepted Rick as their leader.
That butthead.
The more they all defer to him and his bullshit speeches, the more you kick around and usually do the exact opposite of what Rick asks.
You'll do almost anything to get on his nerves while maintaining your pride.
It's gorgeous to see how close you can get Rick to the brink of insanity and sometimes blow a few fuses on him. The good thing is that while Rick is an ass, he's certainly not a wife beater. That's why you're not afraid to let him go nuts and didn't even flinch the one time he rammed his fist into the wall next to you.
Sure, Rick is taller and wider than you, but you're certainly not afraid of him.
Even as a shadow slips in front of the sun that was warm on your skin, you don't flinch.
Instead, you open your eyes, blinking, and immediately roll them when you see Rick standing in front of you.
Rick clenches his teeth tightly as you arrogantly raise your eyebrows and grumble, "You're standing in my sun, asshole."
Oh God, those words alone make his body shake with tension.
He hates how you lie on the grass in front of him and look up, only to make it sound like you're superior to him anyway.
He hates how you never do what he asks of you and always put him to the test.
He hates how fucking hot you look in that tight top, which shows off your breasts ridiculously well as you sit up and shoo him aside with your hand to get back to the sun that's now warming his own back.
With anyone else, he'd take a step back now, but with you, he only builds himself up more, completely blocking out the sun.
You stroke your hair on your face and he notices how he starts to stare, but that's when you open your mouth and no matter what you're going to say now, every bit of attraction to you is going to suck out of his bones.
Yeah, you're hot, but you don't know when to shut up, "Are you just standing here to bug me now, or do you have something specific you want to tell me?"
You watch him push his chin up a little and sigh out loud. Especially with you, he always lets the leader hang out and plays damn often with his physical superiority over you.
Yes, he's a good bit taller, and yes, he has a natural aura that makes him seem competent, which makes people listen to him when he talks, but that doesn't mean you'd ever defer to him.
You can hold your nose just as high as he can. Well, not literally, but metaphorically.
Rick looks at you from narrowed eyes, "If you did what I wanted you to do, we wouldn't be having this conversation at all."
You know exactly what he means, but bat your eyelashes innocently, "You gave me an order? I didn't catch that at all. Usually, in your presence, I only hear such a low and penetrating whirring. Hmmm, that must have been it."
You drop back onto your back, "But don't worry, my ears are otherwise perfectly fine, so it must be you."
You can literally feel Rick's body vibrating with anger and can't suppress a grin.
Rick squeezes his fists so tight his knuckles are sticking out white and he growls, "You do what I tell you."
"Nope," you let the "p" pop and know he's about to lose it, so you stretch out on the grass and calmly say, "I'll ride with Daryl."
Still Rick is shielding the sun and you feel like you won't get much of the slowly setting sun soon.
It's disturbingly quiet for a moment and you look to his tall stature.
He looks like he's having to decide whether to jump down your throat or rather throw you to the walkers as he says creepily quietly, "You're going to climb that damn tower and do the shift I assigned you to."
You'd never admit it out loud, but a slight chill coats your arms at the pitch of his voice and you clear your throat quietly, "You know, maybe I'd consider going up on the tower, except I also know you have absolutely nothing to do today and might as well take over while I go off with Daryl."
Rick lets his gaze slide over your small body, wondering if he'd be quick enough to grab you and throw you over his shoulder to take you to the lookout tower single-handedly.
It's clear you'd be kicking around and calling him the nastiest names, but that way you'd finally do your job and submit.
Annoyed, he puts his hands on his hips, "I've got enough on my plate and arguing with you is just taking up unnecessary time. YOUR job is the lookout tower, not mine."
Snottily you reply, "Because YOU assigned me."
He groans and puts his head back because, unfortunately, that takes your mind off things for a moment.
Rick has a nice neck.
In fact, he's really gorgeous in general, and you'd be lying if you said your little caboodle didn't turn you on a little.
You watch him as he growls, struggling for composure, "Just do it and don't act like a fucking brat."
Your eyebrows go up and he stares at you again with his blue eyes, "I have to take care of my people here, after all, and that means everyone has their jobs to do to keep us safe."
You clench your teeth and slowly straighten up to at least not look quite so small next to him, "Your people? It's MY group. MY family and you're acting like an asshole."
He takes a step toward you so you can feel his breath on your cheek as he leans down to you and hisses, "You lost them when you stepped through the gate. They've accepted that everything works when there's a chain of command and that's how you can ensure everything goes right. So get used to it already."
You jerk your head around and stare at him with a deadly stare.
Normally you're never at a loss for words, but right now, you don't know what to say other than "Son of a bitch" and you turn around to look for Daryl.
You're not going to do shit and you're certainly not going to stand on the lookout tower.
Rick watches you stomp away.
Your hips swing from right to left and he can't stop staring at your ass. At least this way he doesn't have to think about how good you smelled when he was just this close to you.
Shit, he's sure you'll never go to that lookout tower and is actually forced to take your shift now, even though he promised Beth he'd practice shooting with her. But then she'll have to wait for tomorrow, because he's now stomping off to the tower in his turn, and when he gets to the top, he slams the door. 
He doesn't care at all that the door swings open a little crack again in the process, and he sits down furiously on the chair that is supposed to make the shifts more comfortable.
With his arms crossed, he sits there and stares out into the forest.
Why the hell can't you just realize that you have to listen to him?
You're acting like a fucking brat and shit, he's dying to put you in your place.
He doesn't even notice as he loosens his arms at the thought and reaches over his pants for his hardening cock.
He wants you to crawl before him and finally do what he wants you to do.
He reaches harder for his cock.
He wants you to look up at him with your big eyes and ask him if there's anything else you can do for him.
Rick winces briefly as he realizes what he's doing with his hand and who he's thinking about.
But instead of stopping, he curses harshly and tugs at the belt of his pants.
The thought of you kneeling in front of him with your mouth open, begging for him to fuck your mouth, never leaves his mind and he pulls his pants down to his thighs and reaches again for his cock, which is now slapping against his stomach.
Rick moans hoarsely as he runs his hand down his length, thinking of how you would look at him and breathe his name.
Your name slips from his lips as his hand speeds up.
What he doesn't know is that a guilty conscience is starting to get the best of you, because Rick wasn't wrong about the division of labor and that's why you let Daryl know you wouldn't be accompanying him after all.
Instead, you go to the lookout tower where Rick must have taken your shift and even though it goes against the grain, you want to apologize to him.
You're certainly not going to grovel before him and beg for his forgiveness, but you do owe him an honest apology.
So you climb the stairs and see that the door is only ajar.
You frown in confusion when you hear your name.
Actually, he shouldn't have seen you yet, but with Rick, many things are possible, so you shrug and pull open the door to the room.
The door doesn't make a sound and that's why Rick doesn't hear you stop rooted to the spot as he thrusts his hips up, thinking about fucking your pussy.
Again he curses harshly and moans your name as you take a step back and loudly ram the door frame.
Rick flinches and jerks his head around, his hand still wrapped around his cock.
You stare down at his crotch and just can't take your eyes off it.
Fuck, he's big.
"I wanted to apologize for earlier," you barely recognize your own voice and speak to his cock, which you're still staring at.
He should be slumping in shame, but his heart is still beating way too fast and your eyes, completely focused on his cock, are only turning him on more.
He sees you blush and a crazy idea takes shape in his head.
Instead of pulling up his pants and panting at you to get you to go away, he just keeps looking at you and slowly continues to jerk off.
The fact that he doesn't have to imagine you anymore only makes the feeling that much more intense, and he has to pull himself together to keep from groaning out loud when he asks hoarsely, "You wanted to apologize for acting like a brat?"
You barely notice his snooty choice of words and nod silently, no longer trusting your own voice.
Your eyes follow Rick's fist and the urge to touch him grows stronger.
Roughly, he says your name and you can't suppress a soft whimper.
Shit, when did you get so weak?
"Yes?" your voice is, as you expected, way too high to sound normal.
You should leave.
You should turn around and pretend you didn't see anything.
Like you didn't see the best dick in the world.
Like you didn't see Rick jerking off while thinking about you.
You should go.
He runs his thumb over his tip, which is glistening wetly, and growls, "Come here."
Only now do you look him in the face again, and the excitement you see in it makes you tremble, "What?"
The door is only a step away, but you just can't move and he knows it. You could have left by now, but instead you're still there.
Rick lets his eyes wander over your body, then hisses, "Come here and apologize properly."
Your head is screaming to go. It screams to turn around and defy him again, but your body does what it wants.
With soft knees, you walk up to Rick and stop in front of him.
His normally bright eyes, are noticeably darker now that you are standing so close to him and he lets go of his cock.
Immediately your eyes are back on his crotch and he pushes his legs a little further apart, "On your knees."
A thousand thoughts buzz in your head and he sees your hesitation.
Sluggishly, he tilts his head and repeats with dangerous pressure, "You get on your fucking knees now or I'll make you."
He doesn't touch you, but you flinch and fall to your knees in front of him.
With huge eyes you look at him and he can't believe how easily he can direct you. 
Usually you fight him off with everything you've got, but right now you're looking at him like you're just waiting to get the next command from him.
And that turns him on so much that he could cum at the slightest touch from you.
Your whole body is electrified and you bend over to reach his cock with your lips, but he's faster and grabs you by the hair.
Just inches from his cock, he yanks you back and that puts some clear thoughts in your head about what you're doing.
Completely overwhelmed, you don't know whether to pull away from him to get away, or try again to get his cock in your mouth and let him cum down your throat.
Do you even have a choice?
You blink frantically, realizing how you're panicking from this unfamiliar submissive you've never known on you before.
Your voice is squeaky as you whine, "Rick, I-" your voice breaks and he mocks you softly, "Use complete sentences."
Oh god it's so humiliating as you actually try to get at his cock again, but his grip is so tight you miss a few inches that make him laugh harshly, "Look at you. Have such a need to suck my cock that you're about to start crying. That's just how I always wanted to see you."
Your voice is low and weak, "Stop talking to me like that."
You squeeze your legs together, realizing how wet you already are.
At that, Rick raises an eyebrow and grins at you, "Oh, it turns you on? If you could just see yourself. Big mouth a minute ago and now all meek and on your knees in front of me, huh?"
You close your eyes and he pulls your hair, "That was a question I want you to answer now."
Shit, shit, shit. You should have gone with Daryl.
Muffled, you mumble, "Yeah."
It turns you on when he talks to you like that, and fuck actually, he always turns you on.
You scrape together the last bit of dignity you have left and look him in the eye, "You were jerking off thinking about me."
The setting sun casts long shadows in the tower, making the silence seem that much more oppressive.
Rick just looks at you and you brace your hands on his thighs to straighten up a bit and are actually a little surprised that he lets you and doesn't reprimand you again.
At the back of your head, he presses you closer to him and murmurs far too softly, "I was thinking about how I was going to break you."
An unusual sound slips from your lips and by then he's already pressing your face to his cock, "Suck."
Willingly, you open your lips and let Rick push you down on his cock.
With your eyes closed you try to relax your throat to get as much of him in your mouth as you can and you hear him moan harshly.
Your mouth is warm and wet and his eyes roll into the back of his head as he pushes the tip against your throat.
Once he's sure you're going to suck him off, he releases the back of your head and crosses his arms behind his head to watch you do it under lowered lashes.
Your small hands cling to his thighs and you keep taking him so deep into your mouth, as if your life depended on your nose bumping against his pubic bone again and again.
His leg muscles tighten and he growls, "That's a decent apology. Plugging your pert mouth is the right thing to do, don't you think?"
Your words make you moan around his cock and you look up at him with tears in your eyes.
He looks down at you as he did before in the meadow, only now you don't have a clever line in store, instead you dig your fingers deeper into his legs and run your tongue over the prominent vein on his cock.
With a jerk, he pushes his hips further toward you and then grabs your hair again to tug you off his cock.
Pathetically, you try to lick him again and at the sight, he hisses, "Fuck."
Your lips are swollen and you realize your throat will be overstimulated tomorrow, but you mumble softly anyway, "Let me keep going."
He sits up a little, "What was that?"
His cock shines wet from your saliva and you try again, "Please, let me keep doing it."
Mockingly, Rick grins at you, "Are you begging to suck my cock right now?"
It almost physically hurts, but you nod and he rewards you with, "Good girl." And pulls you back to your feet, "Show me how wet you are for me."
Rick stares at your pants, but you don't know what he means by that and when you don't respond he sighs, "Take off your pants and show me your cunt."
At the last word you wince, but do what he asks and that you follow his orders makes his eyes glisten with pleasure and when you then also stand half naked in front of him and wait, he can no longer deny himself the comment: "You're pathetic. You already realize that, don't you? Just had to see my cock and gone is any resistance from you."
Your pussy clenches excitedly and that he talks to you like that makes you tremble again.
Never would you ever let someone talk to you like that, but Rick has this innate aura of respect and the more he talks to you like that, the easier it is for you to accept his superiority in that regard.
Shit, you actually enjoy him doing that to you.
You bite your lower lip as he murmurs, "Show me."
Jesus.
Slowly, you spread your legs a little, and you know your thighs are already glistening. It feels so dirty to feel his gaze right there.
You feel so incredibly vulnerable, and you see Rick's cock twitch as you slide a finger through your wetness and hold it out to him so he can see how wet you are for him.
He sees your knees shake and lifts his chin a little, "That's good and now you do exactly what I want you to do and then you'll get what you need from me."
With your heart pounding you nod and he grins dangerously at you and the way he looks at you makes you nervous.
It looks like he's about to pounce on you as he leans in and purrs, "I want to see you vulnerable. Humiliated and pathetic."
Rick wants everything from you.
He wants to break you, and he knows what will be enough humiliation for you.
His tongue darts across his bottom lip, "Hold your cunt open with your hands while I fuck you."
The words rush through your body and he looks at you sharply, "Do you understand or is it just another buzz in that pretty little head of yours?"
"No, I mean yes...I" you get the words stuck in your throat and he tilts his head slightly, "If you play dumb and let go then I will continue to use you to cum in your cunt, but you will not. If you're a good little girl, I'll let you cum on my cock."
You hesitate and he hisses, "Go on, or I'll fuck you and you'll get nothing out of it."
Your hands shake as you frantically climb onto his lap and reach between your legs with your hands.
The smacking sound as you open your lower lips with your hands is so incredibly humiliating that your cheeks grow hot and he laughs mockingly, "Just the prospect of my cock in your cunt makes you so fucking compliant. What did I struggle so hard to get you to do your assigned work when all I had to do was fuck you to make you my whore."
Your mouth is slightly open and you fall forward a bit before he holds you up by your shoulders so you stay upright and he pushes you down on his cock.
You feel his cock against your fingers as it presses into your spread cunt and you groan far too loudly to be considered decent anymore.
Your first reflex would be to release your hands and hold onto Rick, but you dare not let go of your pussy as he puts his hands on your hips and fucks you as promised.
He's big and hard inside you and almost makes you pass out.
Rick is so...good.
He's so fucking good and without warning you lean forward and press your swollen lips to his parted from moaning.
Kissing him is like a drug as he moves you on his cock the way he likes and you are wide open for him.
His voice is rough and husky, "You're inviting me to fuck you."
It's true.
It's humiliating and fucking hot to present yourself to him like this, and your pussy throbs hard on his cock as he continues to take you, growling, "This is my pussy, you understand?"
You breathe weakly, "Yours." And he penetrates you harder and deeper.
Your pussy is so fucking wet that he can barely think straight and slips almost completely out of you every time.
As he feels you clench tighter and tighter around him, he knows you're about to cum and lowers his lips to your neck to suck on it, eliciting a fucking loud moan of his name from you, "Rick...Oh God, I can't hold it in. I..."
He growls, "Beg me and when I'm satisfied, you can cum."
His thrusts get messier and you howl, "Please, please, please. May I cum?"
Rick's cock twitches, "Will you do what I ask of you from now on?"
"Yes, yes, yes."
He laughs, "Always resisting me, but when my cock is in your pathetic cunt, you suddenly become quite compliant, huh?"
The knot in your stomach becomes almost unbearable and you squeeze your eyes tight when he finally says, "Now."
With the first wave, your pussy clenches so hard that you almost crush him, pulling him with you.
Your body tears up and you release your hands to grab Rick's cheeks and turn his head so that you're kissing him hard and desperately.
You swallow his harsh moan as he comes inside you and you frantically ride out your climaxes, getting as much as you can.
Shivering, you collapse on top of him and press your nose into his neck to catch your breath and take in his scent.
Fuck, he smells so good.
Surprisingly gentle, he puts his hands on your back and pulls you closer to him, his cock still lingering inside you.
You're afraid to look him in the face after letting him do this to you, not knowing what's going to happen now.
Slowly Rick's hands slide to your round butt and squeeze lightly, "You're going to do your shift here on the tower, understand?"
Of course he would want you to.
After all, it's been your job and now he can always tease you about begging to cum on his cock as you held your pussy wide open for him like a cheap whore.
Tears well up in your eyes from shame, "Yeah, you can go do what you wanted to do in the first place, Rick."
He feels your body stiffen and has to laugh softly, "Relax. I'm staying here too."
Surprised, you lift your head and look into his blue eyes, "Yeah?"
His gaze slides down your face to your neck where there is now a dark hickey and nods again, "I'm not going anywhere."
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@hail-yourselves  @bean-is-reading  @chanlvr2  @criminalwalkingsupernatural  @sunshinevirus  @toxic-ink   @kingtwhiddleston   @bloodycherry22   @vane28282   @bamslover   @revesephemeres   @emo-potato-virgil   @tropodyn   @mrsashleybarnes18-blog   @igotbasicdrag @starsaroundmyscxrss @moonshine147 @1-800-isabellapotter @starkstiless @marvelfan789 @eternalrose81 @daryl-dixons-crazy-woman @darylsonlylove @your-shifting-gurl @strnqer
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simplepotatofarmer · 2 months
Note
This is just me but something I was a bit worried about for a while is that there might be some bitterness between the Dream fans and other people in the mcyt fandom. Like I get it, some of the people there were awful and did whole harassment campaigns. But…I don’t know sometimes I go to some blog and find a bitter post about a qsmp or some of the mcyt people and o get a bit worried that some might lash out against them. Like yeah they’re not perfect and I get why they’re angry. But sometimes I worried that some people might take it too far and end up doing the same as the antis. sorry if it dont makes sense but this is just me
I mean, you've got to understand that we went through over a year of not just false accusations (which people still spread despite being disproven and despite understanding how terrible false accusations are especially after recent events) but through absolutely awful harassment that hasn't stopped.
there's lies that are spread (dream had airhorns playing during the 'uieud' video?? which did not happen), people supporting not just assault but ableism, homophobia, and antisemitism solely because the 'other side' was dream, and people making posts in mcytblr spheres talking about how dteam fans should die.
and then as an ojibwe person who was watching the qsmp, it was awful and disappointing to see that all go down and to feel genuinely scared and unheard when voicing my feelings on it. and that's just one event, that's not counting being forced to leave discord servers or feeling unwelcome in them.
i don't know how to explain how bad it is. just recently a large mcyt blog made a post about chasing off dream fans:
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if there's bitterness, trust me, we'd rather there not be! we'd love to just be able to exist but it's not possible half the time.
things are getting better but man. i lost friends for venting about being harassed because they were more focused on how i was venting.
none of us want this. every single person i know would love for it to go back to how it was.
and i get what you're saying. i do think people take it too far sometimes. i'm absolutely against that kind of thing. i do understand, though, how deeply hurt people are. and i think there's a level of hypocrisy that happens where it's okay to lash out at and make pretty awful jokes about dream and his fans and when one of his fans calls something out, it becomes 'petty fandom drama'. like getting my concerns about racism on a server i was actively watching (and still do for people like niki) dismissed as 'well you don't like the server because you're a dream fan so of course' sucked. or people making jokes about death threats, stalking, and SA threats being called out becomes drama, y'know?
basically, i don't know man. it sucks. i had to change my phone number. i had threats made against my kids and pets. and a lot of it was dismissed so i'm not surprised there's bitterness. people were deeply hurt. people are upset at some of the hypocrisy shown (it's okay for this cc to do xyz but things from years ago are still brought up re: dream).
which means, yeah, sometimes they do take it too far and i don't like it and i think it's become this very toxic cycle that's probably never gonna stop until people just. leave things alone, y'know?
and stop thinking there's an 'acceptable' target for harassment because there's not.
i know you get it, though, and i appreciate that. i really wish other people would be as understanding.
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jenniferchaulam · 2 months
Text
MLP G4 LU Chain HCs!!!!
/inspired by @kenvamp 's (check the art out here)and @cheatsylu 's (check over here)
I had.. cutie mark head canons for Pony LU chain and I need to talk about them (these are my own HCs and you guys don't have to agree btw!!!!!!!) So, how and when each pony gets their Cutie Marks: Warriors: same time as his scarf. He was given the scarf and then the cutie mark appeared. He got it a bit later than his peers, but it's a very cool cutie mark. Fitting for a captain.
Time: can i be spicy? i want to be spicy, he got his cutie mark when he was 20. Not when he did OoT, not when he did MM. 7 year nap and woke up hoping for a cutie mark only to see a blank flank. and during MM, Everyone comments on it! like he never gets the mark of adulthood ever! okay not "ever" i want him to get it when he's 20 or sth and his cutie mark sucks,. and even twilight doesnt know what it looks like like he got it during a battle
a battle when he was TWENTY and it looks like the FD
and like, yall know Trouble Shoes who HATES his CM, yea Time loathesssss his
first he wishes he has one and now he wishes he didnt - only person who knows what his CM looks like is his Wife btw
Wind: OHO OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE SPECTRUM- Bro probably helped his sister and taught her how to swim or sth and get his CM at age 4 like by the time he does WW his cutie mark has been there for a While. He is a Big Boy. He deserves it
Four: Would it be funny if he has four different cutie marks and when he's merged they're like, blended together - and his cutie mark gains another shape each time he upgrades the four sword - but like, instead of the four elements for the four sword,.his cutie mark is the forge and it just becomes more detailed and has different colors - like a red fire, blue hammer, green anvil, purple tweezers
Twilight: Yall know Yaks and Cows exist in MLP as like... high sentient beings that also go to school and talk and stuff. What if Ordon Goats. like Twilight's Entire Village. Twilight stuck out like a sore thumb. And he's Very very disappointed that his cm isnt a goat. he got his cm at age 14 when he was helping everyone on the farm, and it's some generic rancher stuff like a hay bale or sth.
Hyrule: is the triforce. id like to imagine that full triforce wielders gets a triforce as a cutie mark. He has a bunch of magic of his sleeves, and if you know anything about MLP G4 naming conventions, magic-adjacent ponies are named after light-emitting things. So, Triforce emits a BUNCHA LIGHT
Legend: Oh my god I imagine he hides his cutie mark because its something very soft (bnuuy) and people wont take him seriously - he got it when he was very very young, before his adventures. But the rabbit cutie mark depicts a rabbit that's shaking an apple tree. (proof of courage. or sth. that's what im aiming for as a symbol of bravery, but I am no writer)
Sky: Got his CM at the same time as Sun!!!!! They have matching cutie marks. His is a sword and a Crimson Loftwing's feather, while hers is a pair of wings, one white (like the goddess, but she didn't know that before the adventure) and one blue like her loftwing.
Wild: He DID have a CM before the clammy, but one of the side effects of the Shrine of Ressurection is that it also erases that pony's cutie mark. he woke up with a blank flank. and my guy fought the clammy and found his own new cm that fits him. honourable mentions: Spirits! He got it when he got on a train for the first time, it. was. magical
the train
the train was magical. i hc that he didnt thought much of his CM
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peachfruitcake · 2 months
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did you hear about what Martin said about Susan and Linda on the Twitter space he hosted on the 27th? i thought of you instantly when he started talking about them and have been waiting for you to post your thoughts! :-)
HEHE YES IM THE ONE WHO’S QUESTION LED TO THAT!!!!!
Now for those who didn’t listen to that space, Martin said that Linda called her to say goodbye but never specified how it went of course. Besides “hey Susan I’m leaving sorry this is really impacting my mental health” “gaaaaaaaaaaey”/j
This is all a personal headcanon but I like to think that their friendship grew incredibly distant ever since Linda married Felix, Susan probably stopped talking to her altogether for a while and it would leave Linda very confused and upset. They might’ve started talking to eachother again a little bit as the series of events began to approach but only very brief small talk, maybe Linda complaining a little and giving Susan a few life updates and them both talking about stuff they’ve been noticing with others lately (especially Felix’s drinking), but nothing deeper than that.
I see Susan being extremely emotionally closed off to most people except maybe a select few that she knows very closely, so if you were to ask her what’s going on in her life she’d give you a very vaguely watered down version and not what’s actually going on or how she’s really managing herself emotionally.
So basically she used to be more open with Linda, but during that period she sort of just started treating her like a stranger.
So when Linda called her first to tell her that she’s finally leaving, Susan acted how she usually would, keeping it calm, understanding and respectful and wishing her luck, but she won’t really show any more than that. Or that she cried later and felt pretty bad that they couldn’t be so close anymore and that she’ll probably never be able to make up for herself acting so distant for the past many years again.
Of course this all comes from how I view Susan as a character myself though and also the fact that I refuse to pass up the idea that she has feelings for Linda. I like to think that she introduced her to Felix cuz Linda was getting more desperate to find a relationship and Susan was getting weird thoughts so in a panic she shoved her off to him so she could avoid the urges. They’ve been boiling within her since highschool and she always was able to push them aside or excuse them as “she’s just my very close friend I don’t have many close friends so she feels extra special” and as the years went by they began distracting her a lot from her work and were growing stronger and more unavoidable aaand they were really beginning to affect how she’d interact with Linda and you see Susan hates feeling like another has any control over her and Linda just wouldn’t shut up about hooooow badly she wants a relationship and hoooow many dates keep failing and Susan was at the point to where she was starting to get the kind of dreams that make you stare up at the ceiling in horror when you open your eyes in the morning so one day when she overheard Felix speaking about being single and wanting to start looking around, she decided to introduce her to him. Susan allegedly never finds a problem she can’t fix in some way so that was her solution.
They hit it off, Susan’s solution isn’t working for some reason cuz she doesn’t feel any relief at all and in fact feels worse but just sucks it up and just focuses on her work and looks the other way. Linda and Felix get married, Susan feels like throwing up the entire day and now feels somehow even more worse by now and suddenly whenever Linda wants to chat she’s suddenly always “busy” every time. Susan’s often busy anyways but you know yourself when there’s a difference between “shit I’m busy that day, let’s do Sunday instead” and “Sorry I can’t, I’m busy”, “I don’t know when I’ll be available.”
While Linda and Felix were dating, Susan probably assumed that she was just jealous that she couldn’t have a little fun at her age herself. When they got married, Susan told herself that she’s probably so depressed over it cuz it’s making her feel like she’s fallen behind others her age and that maybe she feels bitter that all of these people are moving on and going through these important life stages while she remains behind. Which made no sense otherwise cuz Susan couldn’t give any less of a fuck about starting any sort of family or going out. But that’s what Susan would tell herself that she feels so she wouldn’t have to think about it any further. By the time Susan thinks she’s over whatever it was, she begins having brief talks with Linda occasionally. Not often and still a bit distant, but way better than before.
So yeah can you imagine how shitty and guilty Susan felt that whole time of her weird bitterness toward Linda being in a relationship and not being able to approach her much anymore or how Felix turned out to be such a shitty husband.
If this headcanon is aligned with twf’s canon, she’d probably be dead before she even gets to actually acknowledge and accept her feelings as they are. Such is life though. Not like she could’ve done anything about it.
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l5byrinth · 2 months
Text
evermore
“and when i was shipwrecked, i thought of you.”
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pairing: finnick o’dair x reader
summary: even in the dark times, even when the pain seemed to be for evermore, the thought of you made that all go away.
requested!
warnings/contains: angst maybe, fluff, lmk if i should add more
a/n: with this fic i realised how bad i actually am in writing. i apologise anon for not doing your request any justice i will probably rewrite or edit it once i’ve finished writing all the requests. TYSM for this request tho i absolutely love writing tswift inspired fics 🤭🤭
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Where did it all go wrong.
That was the question that kept you up at night and haunted you during the day. It was strange how, no matter how hard you tried to please people, they still found a reason or way to stab you in the back. Finnick was one of the many people, who obeyed the capitols every wish. The main reason being to save his loved ones. And even that wasn’t enough.
No, because the people wanted entertainment, they wanted something more. They wanted to be astonished, blown away.
You knew that by now. Because why else would president Snow make the decision to reap from the existing pool of victors. Because why else would the love of your life, the person you called your home be reaped again. It was all to satisfy the capitol and make them feel even more powerful than they already are.
The moment the woman from the capitol fished a small piece of paper out of the bowl with the reaped one’s name on it, you knew it would be Finnick. When she said the first letter, your prediction was confirmed. And without even hearing the entire name, you broke out into tears.
You watched as your boyfriend tried to be nonchalant about it, smiling through the pain like he always did. But when they zoomed in on his face, you were crying uncontrollably. It didn’t help that you weren’t allowed to come with him either.
However, until the day he left the district you both lived in, you never left his side. Even if it weren’t allowed, even if it meant being threatened by the peacekeeper. Frankly, you couldn’t care less, because all you could care about was your Finnick. The one who was about to relive the torture he did when he was fourteen all over again.
All you could do now was watch him through a screen, something about it bringing some sort of comfort. Because you could see him.
The day of the ceremony was a tough one.
You could tell from everything you saw of him, that the stress and anxiety had gotten to him.
And you were right. He couldn’t function properly without you by his side. Finnick felt as if all the life was sucked out of him and that he would never feel alive again. Nonetheless, he smiled like he was enjoying fighting for his death again. He had to put on a show or else his chances of survival would decrease.
The way the crowd cheered when he was standing next to Caesar flew over his head. Because his thoughts were absolutely consumed by you. Flickerman talked to him, but he didn’t process a single word he was saying. “I heard from a little bird that you have message for somebody. A special somebody.” Caesar said, emphasising the special as he looked at the audience with a smug look.
Finnick’s smile turned more genuine when Flickerman mentioned the special somebody, which was you. The thought of hopefully seeing you again was the only thing keeping him from going insane. So with you in his mind, he started talking in the microphone. “My love,” The crowded room screamed hysterically, but he talked over it, his lips quivering, “You have my heart. For all eternity.”
The image of you sitting on the couch popped into his head and he wished desperately that he was with you right now. “And if…” He continued, but he had a hard time finding the right words. Flickerman nodded at him encouragingly, wondering where this was leading. “If I die in that arena… my last thought will be of your lips.” Your boyfriend tried his best to hold his composure and appear calm and confident, but inside he was breaking down.
After that, the games went by in a blur. The only thing you could vividly remember during the hard times, was the dream you had about Finnick. A dream that you would cherish forever, because it gave you hope of him surviving.
Soon enough, before you knew it, the capitol had taken you because of what happened during the quarter quell. You were watching the games, hoping that the plan your lover and his allies had made would go well. And remember Katniss shooting a bow at the middle of the dome. Before you knew it, the peacekeepers were infiltrating your house. They took you with them, but you can’t recall exactly how and what happened then.
When being held captive by the capitol, Finnick was the only thing you thought about. You weren’t aware if he was alright or not and it scared you more than anything. You snapped out of your thoughts when there was a knock on your door. President Snow himself walked in, accompanied by a woman you had seen by his side a lot recently. It took everything in your power not to jump at and attack him, so you did in your imagination. You imagined strangling him as he talked to you, however, you didn’t care one bit about what he was saying.
But as soon as your lover’s name was mentioned, your ears perked up. “We will find him, dear. And when he sees you, it won’t be long before he will leave district thirteen.”
Some kind of joy bloomed inside your chest, because even though his statement scared you, you were relieved that your Finnick was alive and well.
Finnick didn’t know anything about your state, but he blamed himself for everything that happened to you. He shut himself in his room all day, thinking about you, wishing he was with you, thinking about how things would be like in an alternative universe. He wasn’t aware of his surroundings anymore, being absolutely consumed by and in his thoughts.
Your name was the only word that left his mouth.
One day, Finnick heard about the plans to save you, Johanna and Peeta. And from that day on, he was more involved in everything that happened. Because all he wanted was for you to be with him again and he would do everything it took to get
you back to him. The day of executing the plan finally came and it went by swiftly, however for Finnick, it felt as if a million years passed by. Everything felt out of place without you.
After his interview, which was meant to distract both president Snow and the capitol, he rushed to Katniss. He interrogated her about if it had worked, but even she was unsure if it was a success.
Finnick waited for hours, pacing through his room anxiously. The only thing running through his mind being you, like always. He started to realise how just the thought of you had brought him so far. Because without you, he wouldn’t have cared if he passed away in that arena. Without you, he wouldn’t do his best to keep himself alive and to openly talk about what Snow did to him. Because for you, he would do anything. Anything you wanted him to do.
When he heard yelling coming from down the hall, his eyes widened. Was it possible that they were back with you guys already? Finnick didn’t waste any time and before he knew it, he was standing next to Katniss, waiting for Coin to tell them what was going on. But when he saw Johanna lying on a hospital bed, he knew enough.
You were somewhere here too.
He greeted Johanna, thankful that she was saved as well, before looking around to find you. Finnick asked every person he ran into, anyone that might know where you were. But everyone was so busy with everything they were doing, that they didn’t respond to him.
At this point, Finnick entered any room there was, in hopes to find you after the long separation. He searched every room, investigated every hall, but there was no sign of you.
Your lover was frantically looking around, when you awoke. And even though you were unaware about where you were, the only thing that mattered was that Finnick was right there. You wanted to call out his name, but there was no sound coming out of your mouth.
But you didn’t need words, because your boyfriend could feel your presence. When your gazes locked, Finnick didn’t waste a second when making his way over to you. He pushed away everyone that crossed his path, and pushed the doctors surrounding you aside.
Finnick halted right next to you, tears swelling up in both your and his eyes. He picked you up, not caring about the man that told him not to. He wrapped his arms around you so strongly, you were sure you would never get out of his grip.
Many tears left your eyes as you were finally in the arms of your home.
Finnick pulled away after a long time and took a good look at you, before pressing his lips against yours like a starved man. Hungry for you and your touch, he kissed you like you were all alone, with no one around. The only reason the two of you pulled away, was the lack of oxygen, and when you did you flashed him a smile.
“I finally kissed the lips that were on my mind the entire time.” Finnick whispered, his arms still wrapped around you. With a chuckle you planted another kiss on his lips, before pulling him in again for another hug. Being with your lover restored all the hope and will to live again.
And with him you were sure, that this pain wouldn’t be for evermore.
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