@eddiemonth prompt, oct 4th: Rejection | Arsonist’s Lullaby - Hozier | Lost
a/n: pre-steddie post-s4, angst with soft, happy ending because I'm a marshmallow. un-betaed because I'm challenging myself to write these in under an hour.
read on ao3 | link to series on ao3
All Eddie Munson has ever wanted to do is play music.
That’s it. There are other hobbies, of course, other things that bring him joy– D&D, fantasy novels, art– but ever since he was a kid, whenever a teacher would ask what he wants to be when he grows up, it’s always the same answer.
I wanna play music.
As a kid, it seems less daunting. He just has to practice, he just has to play, he just has to have the passion to make it big. To be the next Kirk Hammett, or Eddie Van Halen, or Ozzy Osbourne if he can teach himself to carry a tune.
Making friends is hard, but he manages to find a few in middle school who can play the instruments he can’t– drums, bass. Eddie takes the role of frontman, not exactly a singer still but he’s charismatic enough to get away with it at their school talent show.
High school comes, and Corroded Coffin is revamped. New vibe, new members. He’s older now, a little more jaded with each rejection.
No one wants their EP, recorded by hand in Gareth’s garage onto cheap cassette tapes.
No venue will let them play, and Eddie knows that it’s probably because they’re in high school but hadn’t The Cure started in high school?
No one believes in them, trying to push them– especially Eddie– to consider more successful careers, safer paths.
But eventually, they book a regular gig at The Hideout and Eddie’s certain this is it. This is their big break. Until they play week after week, staring at the same five plastered faces every Tuesday. If they can prove themselves though, the owner will have to let them play on a Friday or Saturday.
He never does.
The final nail in the proverbial coffin comes after Eddie’s final senior year. Being accused of murder should have beefed up his credibility if nothing else– he’s already been traumatized, terrorized, and hunted like a goddamn dog, nevermind almost killed via hoard of angry mutant bats. Surely, he’ll catch at least one break.
And then the owner at The Hideout tells him he can’t play there anymore.
The hoards of people who still blame him for Chrissy Cunningham’s death are too much for him to manage himself and, in his words, Eddie’s driving away good business. His heart shatters, his breath catches, and Eddie leaves without a word because if he were to try to speak, all that would come out is either an enraged scream or a choked sob and Eddie doesn’t want to risk either.
He drives around aimlessly for an unknown amount of time, just circles around the outskirts of Hawkins. Maybe I’ll just leave, he thinks. Indianapolis might be far enough. Maybe Chicago. Fuck it, maybe Argyle and Jonathan can put me up for awhile in California. Eddie wants to go somewhere that makes him forget just how lost he is, how unwanted and forgotten he’s become. Being the social pariah is only fun when he’s making speeches on cafeteria tables, not when it boots him out of his one and only career path.
Somehow, he ends up in Loch Nora. He can’t face Wayne right now, he doesn’t want to bother Robin or Nancy, he’s already let Jeff, Gareth, and Freak down in the worst way imaginable, and if he goes to his mom’s or Chrissy’s tombstones with one more sob story, he’s afraid they’ll start haunting him. Steve’s become a friend over the last year or so it makes sense. Process of elimination and all of that.
He doesn’t have the mental bandwidth to realize that he’d started driving that way before he ruled everyone else out.
Steve welcomes him like he always does and offers him a beer, sitting with him in companionable silence on the couch as they watch Monty Python and The Holy Grail and laugh at the same parts. Eddie knows Steve can see that he’s upset but instead of asking questions Eddie isn’t ready to answer, he just sits a little closer with their thighs touching and one arm strewn over the back of the couch, just barely grazing Eddie’s shoulder.
The movie ends and Steve moves to switch the tape when Eddie finally speaks up.
“The Hideout kicked us out. Can’t play there anymore.”
Eddie sees Steve freeze from behind before turning, his eyebrows knitted together above his nose. “Are you fucking serious?”
He nods and sighs, lifting one hand to chew on this thumbnail as he looks at the wall beyond Steve.
“That’s bullshit, dude. Why? Because of the protestors or whatever?”
He nods again.
“Want me to go down there? I’ve still got my bat around here somewhere. It might be nice to swing at something that’s not trying to like, eat me.”
Eddie huffs a small laugh through his nose and meets Steve’s eyes, their righteous anger blending with his own as he sees Steve cross his arms over his chest. It’s hard not to stare.
“Well, then at least I wouldn’t be the only guy in this town wanted for murder.”
Steve shakes his head and just chooses another movie, Howard the Duck this time, before returning to his spot on the couch. It’s one of Eddie’s favorite movies but he can’t focus to save his life because Steve is even closer now, his arm draped fully across Eddie’s shoulders and creating a space for Eddie to easily just… rest. So he does.
The title sequence starts and Eddie’s head drops to the side, resting on Steve’s shoulder. It’s one of his favorites but he can’t follow the plot to save his life. All he can focus on is the way Steve’s fingers trace symptoms and shapes against the cotton of his tee shirt, and the steady rise and fall of his chest, and the feeling of Steve’s head leaning against the top of his.
“I had a new song and everything,” Eddie whispers, surprising both himself and Steve.
Steve hums and tightens his arm around Eddie’s shoulders, a ghost of a hug. “Play it for me sometime?”
All Eddie Munson has ever wanted to do is play music. And maybe he still can.
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So Wackus idk if you’ve already seen them but when representation first came out there were some anons theorising in flightfoot’s ask box about whether Felix knew about Adrien’s amoks being in both rings or not. Since you are the fandom’s greatest expert on all things Felix, I wanted to ask your opinion on the “Felix thought Adrien’s amok was just one ring” theory, which overall contends that:
- Felix only has one amok and may very well assume that’s the same for all sentis
- He and Amelie both treated the Graham De Vanily rings as family heirlooms and nothing else; neither knew or believed they were Adrien’s amoks, especially not when Amelie kept asking Gabriel to give them back
- Gabrie deliberately pretended they were just rings so Amelie or Felix wouldn’t figure out they were Adrien’s amok
- Amelie and Felix probably thought that Adrien’s amok was either MIA with Emelie or just another object kept by Gabriel
- Felix realised one ring was Adrien’s amok when Nathalie gave him (disguised as Adrien) an order in Risk
And
- Assuming Adrien had only the one amok, and that that was the ring Nathalie wore, Felix gave the other ring back to Gabriel without any qualms
This is the first theory for Felix giving back the ring that actually makes a lot of sense for me - I especially wonder if Felix lashing out at Adrien during his titular episode was partially from envy - he has never seen Adrien controlled with his amok so blatantly and perhaps assumed Gabriel didn’t have it or didn’t use it (and imo almost definitely thought Emilie didn’t)
you know, i was thinking about this too! it's the only theory that makes sense to me as well, given how felix views sentis and how he feels about adrien especially.
this was ring 1, which felix stole from gabriel in "felix."
gabriel then took ring 2 from emilie in the same episode.
i do think amelie thought the graham de vanily rings were just normal rings. however, i think felix believed they meant enough to the agrestes that they would use one of the rings as an amok. and i'm sure when felix showed up again in "gabriel agreste," he realized that adrien was still being controlled, that probably confirmed his suspicions that it was ring 2 and only ring 2. so he ruled out ring 1 as being adrien's amok and went snooping around for the 2nd.
it probably blew felix's mind when he realized adrien had 2 amoks. especially because he'd realized he already gave one back to gabriel. my guess is that dusuu told him the truth - and maybe that's part of the reason he was so angry in "emotion."
i definitely think this season could have used some more felix-centered episodes, especially tracking the progress of his hunt for adrien's amok. however, they did give us enough clues for felix's actions to make sense now, especially that trade in "strikeback!" i don't wanna say felix did nothing wrong, because he certainly acted a fool, but at least with this theory his goal to keep adrien safe is consistent.
would love to know what your thoughts are now, @flightfoot!
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I feel like doing some liveblogging for today's entry because I love it a lot and I have Things To Say! Under a cut because this got longgggg
"They do not fear the Ringwraiths, for those who have dwelt in the Blessed Realm live at once in both worlds [...]"
I'm sorry, those who have lived in Valinor do what now???? I don't remember this ever being mentioned anywhere else
'Frodo was now safe in the Last Homely House east of the Sea. That house was, as Bilbo had long ago reported, 'a perfect house, whether you like food or sleep or story-telling or singing, or just sitting and thinking best, or a pleasant mixture of them all'. Merely to be there was a cure for weariness, fear, and sadness.'
This makes me tear up and I'm not sure why.
This is one of my favorite chapters in the whole trilogy. I just love how warm it feels. It's like curling up with a cozy blanket and a warm drink on a winter evening, but it's also like sitting in the sun on a bright summer day with a cool breeze in your hair at the same time.
'In the middle of the table, against the woven cloths upon the wall, there was a chair under a canopy, and there sat a lady fair to look upon, and so like was she in form of womanhood to Elrond that Frodo guessed that she was one of his close kindred. Young she was and yet not so. The braids of her dark hair were touched by no frost; her white arms and clear face were flawless and smooth, and the light of stars was in her bright eyes, grey as a cloudless night; yet queenly she looked, and thought and knowledge were in her glance, as of one who has known many things that the years bring. Above her brow her head was covered with a cap of silver lace netted with small gems, glittering white; but her soft grey raiment had no ornament save a girdle of leaves wrought in silver.'
MY QUEEN MY BELOVED THE LOVE OF MY LIFE IS HERE!!!! <333333 *ahem* anyway, moving on
The mention of Beorn's son and Bard's grandson being leaders of their respective folk really puts into perspective how the lifespans of Men compare to Dwarves and even Hobbits.
''I will come and see [the Lonely Mountain], if ever I can,' said Frodo.'
Hey. Want to feel sad with me? I don't think he ever gets to do this.
'This is the Hall of Fire,' said the wizard. 'Here you will hear many songs and tales – if you can keep awake. But except on high days it usually stands empty and quiet, and people come here who wish for peace, and thought. There is always a fire here, all the year round, but there is little other light.'
Actually obsessed with the Vibes of the Hall of Fire. It's one of the places in Middle Earth I would most like to visit. Also if it ever shows up in an adaptation I may perish of happiness.
'Why, sitting and thinking. I do a lot of that nowadays, and this is the best place to do it in, as a rule. Wake up, indeed!' he said, cocking an eye at Elrond. There was a bright twinkle in it and no sign of sleepiness that Frodo could see. 'Wake up! I was not asleep, Master Elrond. If you want to know, you have all come out from your feast too soon, and you have disturbed me – in the middle of making up a song. I was stuck over a line or two, and was thinking about them; but now I don't suppose I shall ever get them right. There will be such a deal of singing that the ideas will be driven clean out of my head. I shall have to get my friend the Dúnadan to help me. Where is he?'
Elrond laughed. 'He shall be found,' he said. 'Then you two shall go into a corner and finish your task, and we will hear it and judge it before we end our merrymaking.'
Bilbo and Elrond's friendship means a great deal to me and I feel it is tragically underrated.
'Don't adventures ever have an end? I suppose not. Someone else always has to carry on the story.'
Oh no here come the tears again.
'Strider!' said Frodo. 'You seem to have a lot of names.'
Oh Frodo you haven't heard the half of it yet... Also this has been pointed out many times before but I love that Aragorn remains Strider to the hobbits long after they learn his true name. It's really cute <333
He turned to Strider. 'Where have you been, my friend? Why weren't you at the feast? The Lady Arwen was there.'
Strider looked down at Bilbo gravely. 'I know,' he said. 'But often I must put mirth aside. Elladan and Elrohir have returned out of the Wild unlooked-for, and they had tidings that I wished to hear at once.'
*sigh* can't believe the Plot is making Aragorn miss out on quality time with his wifey :(( Also, twins mention!!! I love the twins dearly (mostly because of One Specific Fanfiction)
Near him sat the Lady Arwen. To his surprise Frodo saw that Aragorn stood beside her; his dark cloak was thrown back, and he seemed to be clad in elven-mail, and a star shone on his breast. They spoke together, and then suddenly it seemed to Frodo that Arwen turned towards him, and the light of her eyes fell on him from afar and pierced his heart.
THEY'RE TOGETHER!!!!! One of these days you will be getting my essay on Arwen's Presence in the narrative and that is a threat. Also she and Frodo have interesting potential as a dynamic. Also also if she looked directly at me my heart would also be very much pierced <333
That's all my thoughts I think! If you stayed until the end, thanks for your time <3
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