#and today it finally clicked

[kipp-your-secrets]

do u speak french 🇫🇷⁉️

reblogs and screaming in tags is always appreciated <33

#this is a THIRD attempt ar creating a phasmo piece #i was struggling so much and finally today sth clicked #i am SO so happy #impulse #impulsesv #tangotek #skizzleman #mrjoker #phasmophobia #kipp.posted #team jits

[artheresy]

I can’t stay quiet about this, I need to scream it to SOMEBODY ANYBODYYY

Dan Heng and Blade were Dan Feng and Yingxing. “Dh and Bld are Df and Yx!” Nope, their current selves aren’t them, that lacks nuance. “Dh and Bld aren’t Df and Yx!” THAT ALSO LACKS NUANCEE they are still connected and fundamentally shaped by their past identities, they aren’t entirely separate from them while also still being separate in a way. The best way I can describe it is like a venn diagram, there is overlap, but there also are still areas where they don’t.

To expand more, I wanna talk about the way they foil each other a bit in this sense. For Dan Heng, even if he is a botched rebirth, simply a “de-aged Dan Feng” not fully reborn, he is still not Dan Feng. While Dan Feng has made up the basis of his personality and he accepts him as his past, I think we forget that Dan Heng had his own entire childhood after the molting rebirth was completed. One he spent imprisoned by the Ten Lords Commission, and then he was exiled when he was old enough leading to his whole journey until he became apart of the Astral Express crew etc etc. Dan Heng is made up of a basis of Dan Feng + All of his own memories and experiences. While he shares traits with Dan Feng such as personality aspects like his stubbornness, his technique with a spear, and being able to connect with his old items, he also is very much himself with his own outlook and traits shaped by what he’s learned rather than what he has been born with. To treat him as if he is Dan Feng exactly is a disservice to both of their characters and the greater narrative that they apart of. He may still carry the burdens and karma of Dan Feng, but Dan Heng is still making his own future.

Now, Blade. Blade similarly is not Yingxing, not completely. Though he accepts Yingxing’s sin as his own and is intent of repaying the sin of Dan Feng and Yingxing (and getting Dan Heng to repay it too), there still are distinctions between him and Yingxing. In fact, I’d argue there are more things separating them. I could talk for so long again about the layered use of craftsmanship to connect, or rather disconnect, the two identities of Blade and Yingxing, but there’s more than that. “Now, ██ had died. His first — and only — death.” “From this moment on, that body will be the one and only "Blade."” Although Blade was Yingxing, a disconnect exists between them through the death of Yingxing. He awoke with no memories of his past, no even his name, until Jingliu came along, instilled in him her ideologies, made him remember, not only his past sins but the feeling of death so that he might inflict it onto others. As she said, he was reborn and had even given himself a name…

I want to add that the specific ways in which their current identities exist in proximity to their past ones foil each other. As I said, Dan Heng, in part as his sabotaged rebirth, is built upon the foundation of Dan Feng and all of his own experiences and memories. He has the capacity to gain back more memories of Dan Feng as his DH IL character stories outline, and though he is still himself and still moves forward, we see him accept his relation to Dan Feng eventually. Though that past life of his is clouded by fog and mist, he may eventually be able to push away the clouds that block him and understand more, about Dan Feng and in turn about himself. With Blade, it is so heavily emphasized in game from his relic lore to the very sword he uses that his mind is essentially broken, due both in part to the trauma of Jingliu’s “teachings” and the mara that was brought on by those lessons. He can’t fully remember everything about Yingxing, in fact actively remembering such or seeing familiar things is harmful to him. Like his shard sword, he is made of broken pieces, put together in a way that can never erase the cracks, and continuously shattering before being glued together again. His life is shaped by Yingxing’s past, the trauma he has endured is directly caused by his past actions. Unlike Dan Heng, he hasn’t had this whole life to build up and live. Though he’s experienced new things, they don’t shape him and change him in the way that Dan Heng’s built his identity up.

Where Dan Heng basically has supplements to Dan Feng’s identity that make him who he is, Blade is the broken shards and pieces of Yingxing that weren’t lost to the waves, making him who he is. Dan Heng is a next chance, finally free from the Preceptors’ control and of the role that stripped his past selves of their individuality, meanwhile Blade is the husk left behind of Yingxing’s regrets, broken by trauma caused due to Yingxing’s past actions, forever tormented by his past until he inevitably is able to die. If Dan Heng is more than just Dan Feng which is why he is separate but intertwined with him, than Blade is less than Yingxing, in a way that has caused such a severe disconnect that has caused Blade to have his own identity still shaped. And looking at this, not to again bring up my craftsmanship post about Blade, Dan Heng can connect to Dan Feng. He can clear the fog, remembering his memories through dreams even if he can’t fully connect emotionally to him, and he finds sentiment in many of items that once were his, smth not many Vidyadhara actually are capable of doing. To contrast, Blade is forever separated from connecting completely to Yingxing’s identity. His memories will always be fragmented, his own path entirely changed. He can’t connect to Yingxing’s past goals and passions, seen through the distinct decision made in his character stories to talk about how he can no longer use his hands to forge weapons (something that completely defined Yingxing’s life and legacy, tied to his childhood trauma and hatred of the Abundance, something that became his genuine passion), and how none of that mattered to Blade.

All of this, the ways they foil each other and the separation between their past selves and current, just makes me love their dynamic and their lore a lot. Makes me want to cry most days of my life if I’m honest. And it’s part of why I do take issue with the way nuance has completely left this argument, only having two extremes of “Dan Heng is Dan Feng!” Or “Dan Heng isn’t Dan Heng!” Again… Dan Heng WAS Dan Feng, he wouldn’t be Dan Heng without Dan Feng, but he is still himself. That’s part of the tragedy between them. They are still fundamentally defined and shaped by their past selves, similarities able to be spotted if they can be remembered, but they’ve also experienced so much that has changed them, and they can never truly go back to being Dan Feng and Yingxing. It would never be fully the same again.

#okay rant over #ahahahha #i hate seeing arguments about them #especially on tiktok this is unfortunately where i see the most nuance lost #i just needsd to rant #especially once my brain finally clicked how they foil each other in yet another element #that being ofc the supplement vs fragment style with their past selves #they make me insane #i hate them sm #(i love them way too much #they make me SICK #even if hyv has fucked up a bit in the actual quest writing at times #the sheer level of detail and care put into dan heng and blade’s lore is RAAAHH #i am having allergies #my leg pain is still awful today #and think about these two is only making my health worse HELP #hsr #honkai star rail #hsr blade #yingxing #dan heng #dan feng #renheng #hengren #xingyue #fengxing #I wrote this last night at 1 am but held off posting it until now o7

[fivewholeminutes]

Guess who FINALLY has started @a-s-levynn's Series Of Small Offerings!!!

PART ONE Thread the Needle

Just look at where we're lying / An invisible space

It turns out i look at the proposed lyrics and suddenly get a Thought™ and follow it, so prepare for the offerings to be weird. In this case i thought of the invisible space being between Vessel and his mask, at the very beginning, before Vessel, before Him.

You can interpret it any way you want, i don't know what that means either, I just like dark drawings with a single source of light. Prepare to a lot of offerings like this too.

And apologies for the quality, I hate this paper, but I like the size of this notebook, do you see my problem

#click for a better quality or sth it looks like shit anyway but i cannot be arsed with editing today #anyways i'm so happy i have finally stared this!!!!!!!!!!! #LEVYNN THANK YOU FOR THIS CHALLENGE #i was trying to start it ages ago i've had that idea in my brain for months #i have a few other pieces ready but i will try to post them daily #just trying to draw as much as i can while i'm still off from work bc i know that when work starts again #i won't have energy for anything creative anymore #i will try to be consistent though #sleep token #sleep token fanart #a series of small offerings #alex vs the mortifying ordeal of having her art perceived

[favoure]

PLEASEEEEE TELL ME THE SIDEBLOG i wont send any more than this but PLEASWE u dint know how desperate i am i love your art so much ive been lookinf for ur sideblog for ahwile PLEA......

SORRY ANON I SAW UR ASKS BUT I FELL ASLEEP </////333 anyways go follow hhhloml for the full version of this when it's done ��💥💥💥

#asks for ain #literally god's sleepiest soldier i woke up so early today but fell asleep and woke up again n fell asleep again n Finally woke up #idk if its my meds that r doing this to me but it sure is a thing that is happening #scarian #hermitshipping #trafficshipping #<- for da uhhhhh what do u call those again #if someone has those terms blocked #ya watever LOL clicking post now zzzzz

[skeletalheartattack]

im showing my friend clanker the awesome six eggs and single ice key i found today

#happy easter clanker #for the past three days ive just been playing banjo kazooie for fun #ended originally with a time of 8:22:12 #but that changed when i wanted to try getting the stop n swop stuff for the first time on my copy of banjo #so the final time is 9:32:33 #i forgot how much i disliked rusty bucket bay. good lord that engine room and stinky bad water #every other level was fine. though i got so confused at first as to what jiggy i was missing in click clock woods #it was just the one on the branch at the very top of the tree. i wouldve never found it had i not looked it up #notes and honeycombs though? did those purely from memory #jiggies too i guess minus the single 1 out of 100 #which i think is better than what i was hoping to achieve playing without a guide #i didnt get all mumbo tokens though. i DID get the ones you could easily lose if done wrong though. #i need 7 more mumbo tokens basically to reach 100% #i was also very tempted to 100% gruntys furnace fun (i.e. all squares) but. at a point i was like ''hm. no lets not'' #maybe someday. just not then. #i managed to blind guess a lot of grunty questions though #only talked to her sister like. once. and i didnt get any of those questions on the quiz #oh yknow whats fucked up? that one shortcut between rusty bucket bay and mad monster mansions puzzle #you cant break the gate for it if you raise the water level too high #also it took me until today to learn that CheatO's cheats are upgrades and not... cheats #fucked up. but i didnt have too much problems without it. <- he died to grunty once only cause he got knocked off the tower #anyway sorry for the strange photo quality. played on my n64 on an old crt ive had. and i only have a lamp on in my room. #its not as dark as it looks in the image atleast #i also learned that banjo kazooie has way more cheats than i ever knew about #before collecting all the stop n swop stuff. i gave myself the infinite air underwater cheat cause. god. #its so nice to swim around with any anxiety. mostly just used it to swim with clanker for a bit. :). #didnt need it for any other reasons. i done collected everything else girlies #though kid me used a lot of cheat codes in tooie. only because i had a magazine that had all the codes #i 100%'d that one a few years ago i think. jiggies atleast. i think. #anyway. :) clanker

[getofied]

i feel god doesn't want me to be a gamer

#i dont believe in god but theres something out there stopping me from being a gamer and its heartbreaking #i swear i was gonna finally buy the pc today and the one I wanted was sold out #ok screamed cried but next found another one and for some reason the site doesnt let me click to buy it #AND I SWEAR ITS THE ONLY PRODUCT ON THE WHOLE SITE THATS DOING THAT 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #should this be a sign 😭

[nedsseveredhead]

Finally figured out how to fill a gap in Wither's story and apparently it was with a woman who is also a deer who is also an angel(?)

#cryp txt #lillith #my art #ive actually been workshopping this character for a few months and she finally just sorta clicked into place today!

[wetchickenbreast]

today my friend helped me realize that the reason i’ve been clinging so much to the lesbian label despite literally having multiple crushes on men is because it was a defense mechanism for me while i was in a toxic codependent friendship with a guy who tried to force me into a relationship with him. he would try to pull some shit and i could always respond with “im a lesbian” and therefore he couldn’t get away with manipulating me into anything. so the thought that i might not actually be a lesbian after all that was really scary to me

#so anyways im ditching that label now #ive joined the bisexuals #this is my final statement on my sexuality <- girl who has been confused about this for a very long time but it all clicked today #girl with no problems

[millenniummmbop]

rivalshipping is about healing to me but like in a “well-meaning yet still ill-advised codependency” way

#*pulls down projection screen and extends my collapsible pointer stick thing* #Yugi was a lonely kid with unresolved anger issues who went too far w the whole revenge fantasy thing #until The Power Of Friendship TM mellowed him out and he finally landed in a more emotionally stable state #*clicks to next slide* #meanwhile kaiba over here is ALSO a lonely kid with unresolved anger issues who ALSO went too far w his own fucked up revenge fantasy #*quickly shuffles through slides of Death-T* #but two mind-shattering comas later and yugi at the very least was willing to bury the hatchet and try to start over again #the whole 'kaiba vs peg sus' fiasco was where everyone finds out kaiba's motives up to that point and where it all finally clicks for yugi #*clicks to next slide to reveal the 'he just like me fr' meme but it's yugi crying on the balcony inside peggy's castle* #it's after this that yugi starts thinking 'Well friendship fixed ME so maybe it can fix HIM too' #*clicks next slide and hits play on the embedded video* #Yugi: good morning kaiba-kun! nice weather we're having today huh? #Kaiba: I'm going to beat u in the face and in the ass #Yugi: haha alright bud I'll see u at regionals tomorrow #Yugi said so himself that he wanted 'friends he could count on and who could count on him' (paraphrasing) #i think he saw this mess of a human being recklessly barreling towards the edge at 100 miles an hour and said #'yeah this looks like something i can personally fix' #bc he's the type of person to just selflessly shoulder a mountain of burdens if it means helping someone he cares about #like his heart is definitely in the right place but i don't think he realizes that kaiba also needs like #therapy and mood stabilizers or some shit #*a voice rings out from the back of the class* #'op they had like 10 minutes of conversation MAX over the entirety of duelist kingdom this is literally all in ur head* #no no the groundwork is there for all of this i PROMISE #lion king rafiki voice: look harder #like yes i'm delusional but i'm also RIGHT #(⓿_⓿) #ignore me

[katyobsesses]

I think my glee obsession is returning in full force

#this is a nice feeling #i didnt have gleecast anywhere on my Spotify wrapped last year for the first time in... years!!! #but here i am listening to all the songs on repeat most of today #and reading glee fic #and looking at my currently abandoned fics #and having Thoughts™️ and headcanons and just... #special interest obsession shit #its calming and happy and sksgxkdk #also my reading brain is back which is SUCH a relief! #its been like 3 months of only being able to read a book in audiobook form #like my sister write this whol prophecy for our dnd campaign and i could not for the life of me understand it not matter how hard i tried #but last session i finally clicked #and im READING A PHYSICAL BOOK TOOOOOOOO #i just feel more settled because of it its nice #i think i really didnt like the weird weather the uk was having- it being HOT AS BALLS and then freezing like the next week #and then christmas and stress over bemefits happened #but now yhats mostly set... i think.. ish... its still confusing and scary #but ay least i have words i can read to escape it #katy liveblogs life #i am using tumblr like a diary rn ignore me 😂

[zorbs]

there’s probably meaning behind the fact the visuals only happen in proper physics when they rewind into the reverse but i don’t have the brain energy to think about it rn

#this is the final thought for today gn #link click #link click spoilers

[hella1975]

i have such a reputation that four separate people incorporated pringles into my birthday gifts. be that girl

#to the point my one mate today (the one i almost ditched in that seminar LMAO) ((WAIT I NEED TO TELL YOUSE ABOUT HIM)) #anyway! he was like 'oh i actually got you something!' which given our dynamic despite RECENT DEVELOPMENTS AHEM #is so unusual like he was NOT required to get me a gift. but then i immediately was like 'it's pringles isn't it' #and he was just like 'sigh. yeah' LMFAOOOOO #and you know what? chuffed to utter bits. ive already eaten half of them in 24 hours. scranning even more as i type this #anyway back to that guy. so you know i sometimes mention my flatmate from first year who also happens to be on my course #so off the bat we've got a weird friendship bc he's not just a coursemate bc i also lived with him #but also first year halls were assigned not chosen so it's not like we were actually FRIENDS #especially bc my flat did NOTTT get on lmfao so me and him were mainly just. acquaintances who lived and studied together? #very strange foundation to have with someone. but we went all of second year barely staying in contact #and then this year we live in the same area and for the LIFE of me i cant remember how we got back in contact #but all of a sudden we were messaging every day and meeting up before lectures and sitting together in them and stuyding together etc #and we get on REALLY well like he has my exact sense of humour i know ive posted about him several times #over the past three years being like 'me and this guy are the funniest people i know' 'he would do bits on tumblr' etc #AND THE OTHER WEEK HE ADMITTED THAT HE LIKES ME AND WE WENT ON A DATE #AND IT WENT REALLY WELL BUT I CANNOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME FIGURE OUT HOW I FEEL ABOUT HIM #SO IM TRYING NOT TO PUT PRESSURE ON ANYTHING and i was super clear w him also that im not actively searching for anything #so if smthn happens organically then it happens but if not it's my final year and that will always take priority and he was super chill #so i dont feel like i HAVE to make a decision just yet but we're going out again tomorrow #and it's like. even if it doesnt become smthn romantic i just really click with him?? like we get on so well??? IT'S SO FUN #AND THAT'S WHAT MATTERS! WOOHOO! pringles post derailed by a MAN. awful #hella goes to uni

[just-spacetrash]

💔

#waaahhh feeling BAD again..... #like few months ago my friend asked if i had new years free and i ASSUMED that meant we were like planning smth together????? #and today she mentions in a GROUP CHAT that shes spendingnnew years with her bf #and like. ok. fine. good for them i guess #but i just rly wished she woulda told me like before #and it happened while i was at a Christmas party toooo.... now im sad and just not drunk enough #feeling lonely #i rly thought i had like things going up things looking good finally friends and shit #and like obviously i know her bf is the most important person to her thats how it works #but likee feels bad yk #cause apparently to her this wasnt even that big of a deal cos she didnt bother mentioning it yo be before #and i have no one #my other friends invited us both (thats how i found out) but theyre a couple too so i dont wanns go third wheeling their new years yk #i just #u think its going so well #and suddenly i just feel like ughhhh #this is cringe even writing i might delete this tomorrow when im sober and awake #but like. everyones got someone and ive been trying to click with someone for 20 fucking years #and still #:((((((((( #and like it feels bad not being anyones most important person #and like i know so many ppl are in this situation im not trying to be like wahhh my suffering is unique but like it just feels bad #very bad esp when ur tired as fuck and alone and shit #:((((( #my post #everything SUCKS!!!!!!!!!

[mejomonster]

12k words written today!

#rant #mejo writing #>o> if anyone would like 2 read my oc (gigantic) snippets #i worked on Celest Sycay Monsters story today cause his pov finally CLICKED for me #fucking 15k words in 2 days and ill probably scrap the old 8k i did origijally a few months ago #this approach worked better

[angeltiddies]

libraries are so important. did u know u can stream movies and tv with your library card? did u know u can check out books and audio books? did u know u can sit there and use their wifi hotspots? did u know u can scan your art there? and then u can print it! did u know u can have literally everything at your fingertips at no cost?? why the fuck is streaming a thing??????? why the fuck are bookstores a thing????? WHY ARE WE NOT ALL USING LIBRARIES.

#anyways today i finally got my library card and i know we all know these things but it never clicked for me #like. i literally read a full book. #I DIDNT EVEN NEED TO BUY COFFEE TO BE THERE

[0wnw1sn]

hey guys just watched la la land i’m gonna do something really impulsive

#this is kind of personal? but there’s a cabaret night coming up hosted by the choir group that i’m in #and i was thinking of auditioning forever ago but i got sick with the flu and didn’t know what to sing #and i was gonna try to do city of stars but couldn’t find an arrangement that was good for me has sheet music and wasn’t a total headache #and i can’t whistle #but it didn’t work out and i missed the audition today #so i finally watched the damn movie and man #audition (the fools who dream) is like fr speaking to me #it just clicked #but i’m not sure if the head of this event is gonna let me one audition late or two even get it #and i’d have to learn it fast and i’m still sick #but something just Makes Sense #i don’t know what to do #i think i might go for it and send an email tomorrow… maybe #i needed to say something about it to someone but everyone in that program’s an opp so… #i think i should try? i’ve embarrassed myself worse before this can’t be that bad #yapping #for real life #la la land #not daredevil 🤞