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#and ultimately that's what he got

mymarifae · 1 year

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the project sekai fandom as a whole will never get akito's characterization completely correct because a fundamental part of his character is that he's hopelessly head over heels in love with an, kohane, AND toya. he LOVES all three of them so so so so so bad. and too many people insist on labelling akian and akikoha "Bad" because they're not akitoya. which is just too bad... because you literally will never fully understand akito as a character until you can admit that he's in love with everyone in vbs

#i was thinking about an's ski slopes card and got emotional because that card is literally from akito's pov #that's what he sees every time he looks at her...myngod come ON. WHY IS HE LIKE THIS WHYYY IS HE SUCH A GODDAMN SWEETHEART #akian is an incredibly good ship. seeing more people warm up to akikoha but like... akian too guys...ultimate lesbianism

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miraitrunks · 2 months

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my mom really tried to make me a disney princess girl growing up as a kid and now when someone asks me who my fav princess is i say jim hawkins since he’s literally the t-boy blueprint disney protag save for like mulan

ANYWAY… i had never heard of disney’s trading card game called lorcana before until i spotted cards of jim and you know i had to get those. LOOK AT HIS GAY LITTLE ADVENTURE OUTFIT?!?! I WAS GOBSMACKED.

#( and hes got 👏 NO LOVE INTEREST 👏 )#( DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW FULFILLING THAT IS FOR ME GROWING UP UNAWARE I WAS AROACE )#( the ultimate animated movie of boyhood to manhood branded as an INTERGALACTIC SPACE ADAPTATION OF TREASURE ISLAND ? )#( hell… HELL !! )#( anyway OH MY GOD THAT OUTFIT !!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!! MY BABY BOY )#( i might be drawing this later ITS TOO CUUUUUUTE )#jim hawkins #treasure planet #piggy podium #disney #merch

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scoopstomyahoy · 6 months

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thinking about a no upside down au steddie fic where steve and eddie run into each other years after moving away from hawkins, and eddie remembers steve and his fall from grace as king, and is kind of intrigued to see what kind of person he is now

and steve doesn’t remember him at all at first, because, look, eddie changed his hair again, and steve’s had a few head injuries (no upside down but i imagine he still went thru some shit with the party and with robin), and he didn’t really think about eddie in high school anyway, and he’s trying to forget about hawkins as much as possible (besides the kiddos, but they’re all moved out for college now, anyway) (obviously he lives with robin)

but steve is different now, happier, more open, flirts with guys, flirts with EDDIE, and eddie….. well, he wants to know more! and he tells steve he knows him from hawkins, and steve’s sunny little smile flickers a little, but he just apologizes for not remembering him and mentions he has some memory problems

and they get to know each other, and eventually as eddie tells him more (and maybe with the help of some yearbooks) steve remembers eddie. and. well. they like getting to know each other. and they like each other. and then they get together

eventually they’ve been together for a while, and eddie thinks he wants to maybe introduce steve to wayne, and he mentions he’s going to go back to hawkins for a long weekend (as he’s done a couple times) and this time he’d like steve to join him

and again steve’s sunny smile flickers a bit, but he says he’d love to meet eddie’s uncle, and… they go to hawkins. and it goes well— meeting wayne, at least, but steve seems a little on edge the whole time they’re there, tense when they drive in, fidgety when they go to the grocery store, et cetera. eddie thinks maybe steve is nervous about staying with the man who raised eddie, which is ridiculous, because wayne LOVES steve.

it’s not til they leave the town altogether that steve relaxes, and eddie realizes it wasn’t “meeting the parents” but rather going back to hawkins. and speaking of meeting the parents, steve didn’t ever bring his own up, even though eddie knew they still lived in hawkins. and the way steve glanced around whenever they went in public, like he was scared of getting recognized

and he asks about it, and steve doesn’t really want to talk about it, but he gives eddie snippets of it. people he wanted to leave behind in hawkins, memories that resurfaced, things he wants to forget

eddie goes back to see wayne sometimes, and the first time he doesn’t know whether to ask steve to come, so he just mentions he’s thinking about going to hawkins for some weekend and steve immediately starts making plans with him as if the invite is implicit. they go back to hawkins several more times, steve still tense and pent up the whole time they’re there

over time steve reveals more and more to eddie. everything that made hawkins hell for him, from the things he himself did in high school to the things people did to him. stuff tommy and carol and billy said to him. some of it is just typical high school bullshit (and oh, the nancy thing.) some of it is the tragedies steve went through, the horrors he had to protect his kids from. the injuries he sustained. more generally the homophobia that permeated the whole town, keeping steve from being himself. the lack of support in the indiana public school system for a high school senior who’s had two concussions and gone through incredible trauma.

his parents. the reason why steve’s mail is addressed to ‘steve buckley’ now, not ‘steve harrington’.

(that doesn’t come out until much, much later, and eddie is kicking himself for ever suggesting steve come back to hawkins.)

eddie, who hardly had an easy time of it in hawkins, is absolutely blown away by what steve had gone through in the same town, right under his nose. the entire persona that steve was trying to leave behind — the cool as a cucumber, unaffected, douchey mask he wore to hide all that he had endured. the head injuries. the emotional tragedies he had gone through. the way he had to be the rock for the kids even as he went through the same things as them.

he tries to tell steve they never have to go back to hawkins again, and steve is having none of it. he tells steve wayne can come visit them in their new city, and steve thinks that’s completely unfair to the man who had raised eddie, seriously, you’re going to make him come all the way up here?

and well i don’t know exactly what the ending is but steve is so stubborn about trying to love hawkins because it was eddie’s home and he wants to be able to go see wayne because wayne deserves to see his kid and eddie deserves to see his uncle and steve doesn’t want to be the problem :(

#steddie #stranger things #this isn’t very fleshed out but just. hawkins as an incredibly scarring place for steve #something built up in his mind as a very dangerous place for him not just because of what happened there but who he had to be there #i think ultimately it would culminate in them going back to hawkins and running into steve’s parents when they least expect it #and steve gets to yell at them in public and tell them they suck and ruin their image and eddie is being his little guard dog next to him #baring his teeth #for the no upside down part of the au i think it would have to be like. nebulous tragedy of season 1 struck them #barb still died (sorry barb) so that his relationship with nancy falls apart. will and el are twins and they disappear the same night #steve knows the kids earlier in the timeline in this one and has already basically adopted them when will and el go missing #eddie was never the victim of a massive witch hunt but jason still harasses him during his third senior year and gets ppl to gang up on him #so he was never like Wanted by all of hawkins and can never return but he sure doesn’t feel welcome there besides w wayne #oh i also think it would be important that one of the trips steve snaps at eddie bc he’s so strung out and immediately regrets it #and takes it as proof that when in hawkins Steve Is A Bad Person and tries to explain this to eddie #eddie meanwhile is trying to convince steve that he’s not a bad person and that he was being mean because he’s completely stressed out #and he wouldn’t be so stressed out if he didn’t make himself come back to hawkins #anyway ultimately. steve realized hawkins is just a place where bad things happened. it is not a place that makes people (including himself)#bad. it’s just. a place. and steve did not grow and change for the better bc he got out of hawkins. he got better bc he put the effort in #god i just. love steve so much and the version of him in my mind is so much better developed than what the duffers are doing

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carefulfears · 8 months

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top 5 (or 10 if you have em) scully taking care of mulder moments <3

she said IF i have 10 😭😭😭

1/ sein und zeit

i fear i have talked about this television scene more times than anyone has ever talked about a television scene....like. one, two, three, four, i was even foolishly invited onto a podcast to talk about it more...

my tags here:

she gets down on the Ground. there's something so primal about it. there's such a lack of pretense and sense of desperation about it. the way he hits the table. we so Rarely see him lash out like that. but it's just too much to Bear. like everything in him is just Breaking the only thing that he's even remotely been able to hold onto amidst all of the unbearable loss and trauma in his life has failed. he's fumbling around for anything that might make it better. that audries fic describing him in this moment as an 'addict out of a fix' with 'newborn anger.' “this is the world? this is it?” it's the way that he spends this whole ep cooking up some elaborate mythology about missing children and how they can be found and then the last shot of the episode is that wide shot of all of the children's graves. sometimes he's just wrong. the world is so much fucking darker and uglier sometimes than the way he sees it. and that's what is crashing down around him in this moment. and she's sitting in the wreckage holding him tight.

this is such brave, brave love. i keep thinking about CSM in the following episode, standing in scully's apartment, warning her. "allow him his ignorance, it's what gives him hope."

she doesn't know what will happen to him, to her, to them, when she breaks down the only method of coping that he has. his mother lost her bedrock too, and she didn't survive. from the moment scully enters, you can watch it break her. she does it anyway. she gets down on the ground, and she cries, and she holds him. god, it all just would've been so different, if there'd been just 1 person, 27 years ago.

(thinking about mulder reaching up to hold scully when missy died, and these tags asking: did anyone hold him, when it was his sister?)

i love the show's message on grief (and trauma), in that this is all that is necessary for "closure." there is no "Truth," (and there really isn't any closure, there's no "beyond" the sea). but it matters that someone knows. it matters that someone bears witness. it matters that someone tells you the truth, even when it fucking breaks their heart. sits in the destruction with you.

the exhaustion in her voice the next morning, when she tells skinner, "it's been a hard night for him." she's still wearing her work clothes from the day before. she was up all night. she's tired, and she's scared, and she's sad. it's been a hard 7 years. it's been a hard 27 years.

it makes me tear up every time i see it, the way she blocks him in the doorway. she's not moving. this is just so scully. it's not even starbuck, it's just so scully. she would keep him in that apartment where she could cover him and control what touches him forever, if she could. (she can't, so you're not taking him anywhere without her. the way she looks her boss in the eye and tells him he better book her a flight too. brave love.)

2/ demons

god, this one just makes me sad. this might be the one that makes me saddest. she's dying. she doesn't have it in her, anymore. i talked about this in my newsletter (and i wrote a fic about it once) but this is like...the only time where she never calls him out on what he's doing. she never yells. she never rolls her eyes. she never gets frustrated with him. she doesn't have it in her. she's dying. he will be alone. she won't be here the next time. what can she even do about it?

i always think about this post:

and you know she is thinking about how if she hadn’t been there he would’ve died. and how the next time he does something like this, she won’t have enough life left in her to keep them both alive. she might not even have enough left for herself. and she’ll give whatever she does have left to him, but it won’t be enough to save either of them. she’ll die cold and pale and he’ll burn himself out. and what can she do but hold him? who will he have when she’s gone? what will he do to himself? who will he call?

and these tags:

this is so cautious and tender and apologetic. sorry for all the pain he feels constantly. and sorry that nothing can ease it. and sorry that she is dying and leaving him like this.

she started writing to him as soon as she was diagnosed, begging. begging forgiveness, begging courage, begging grace. begging for him to not feel there was anything more he could've done, to not become the next cause he is lost in. for him to keep going, as she needs to know he's "out there."

but she's seen him hold a gun to himself too many times, and she knows he's coming down with her. and it's such a loss? this is a person she gave up everything, including her life, to follow, because she believed in him and what he wanted to do in the world that much. but things are different now. he won't survive this. he won't be "out there" saving the world.

what can she do? go to rhode island at 5am, wrap him up. stay quiet, stay still, but scream and thrash at anyone who's careless with him. sink down next to him, cover him, hold him. "maybe we need every answer in the world to survive a single question: how long do we have each other?" (x)

(also, her memento mori journal, in general. she sat in that hospital alone, for days, knowing she was going to die. and she wrote letter, after letter, after letter, to him. so that he would have something. so that he wouldn’t be left alone with nothing, again.)

3/ the end

"as mulder appears. the look on his face is of a man who's seeing, smelling, and tasting the loss of everything he has worked for. it's the look of utter defeat. angle on scully at the door. she sees only mulder right now...she moves to him now. putting her arms around him, holding on to keep him from breaking. off this, we fade out. the end." (script)

i think so often about the script notes of this scene. the description of mulder, as absorbed in destruction. everything that he's worked for, literally reduced to (cigarette) ash. scully only focused on him.

in the final angle of the season, you can really see how she's standing in front of him. her fingers clutching him. but when she first grabs him, it's so tentative. it almost feels like she's trying to see if he's still there, if he exists, if his work doesn't.

this is...the whole thing! there's a reason why this was "the end." the final image of this iteration of the series, before everything changes. this is what it is all about. it's mulder walking headfirst into the devastation of the world. drenched in loss. seeing it. smelling it. tasting it. surrounded by it. and it's scully knowing what he'll find even as he's still moving (this script note, from the hallway: "reverse on scully. returning the look. knowing what mulder is going to find. and what it will mean.")

following behind. eyes on him, while he takes in the ash. just holding on for dear life; trying to keep him close, whole.

(also, i love the moment before the fire, at his apartment, after diana was shot. the way scully tells skinner that he can reach her at mulder's if he needs her, because that's where she'll be. he doesn't even have a bed, or anywhere for her to stay!! she's not leaving him.)

4/ paper hearts

oh, starbuck. we are really in it now.

paper hearts is an ahab and starbuck episode, yes. but mostly it's about grief. mostly it's about harsh awakenings. mostly it's about confrontation with fear, scully's included.

one of the most haunting moments of the series, to me, is when they speak to the father of the 14th victim, twenty-one years after his daughter went missing. and through tears, the father says, "i used to think...that missing was worse than dead, because...you never knew what happened. now that i know, i'm glad my wife's not here. she got luckier."

in that moment, as mulder looks over at the photos on the mantle, missing is not worse than dead. it is not worse than knowing. and later that day, in his first scene, roche calls it exactly as it is: "i understand you take this very personally, mulder."

i've written about this scene in the hallway so many times, because it's truly the crux of this episode (my favorite episode).

from my newsletter:

There’s something so viscerally deep about this episode that’s hard to put into words, but to me, it is most palpable in the moment in the hallway when Mulder asks Scully if she believes that his sister was abducted by aliens. And you can see in his face that he knows the answer, and he’s challenging her to come out and say it. You can see in Scully’s that she would rather admit to anything else.

he's challenging her. he's taking their entire dynamic, and throwing it in her face. not to be cruel. not to disrupt. but just to say...so what now? isn't this what you believe?

i don't think that they've ever been so fragile, as in this hallway, honestly. they rarely threaten to break it all down. their entire lives are built on him walking up to tragedy and saying: it was aliens. it was XYZ. and her following behind saying: no. it was a killer, it was a man.

what does that mean? what is she really saying?

this episode is hard on scully. mulder has never been more haunted. there has never been a bigger reminder of what they are actually doing. they are not just chasing little green men, having adventures, studying sewer worms. they are trying to make sense of something that will never make sense. they are trying to find a "truth" that they do not want to know. they are living their lives in mourning, in bereavement, in remembrance, of a missing little girl, and scully is terrified that they'll find her. that it will be exactly like roche threatens. that missing is not worse than dead.

and there is no one else. there is no one else that even knows how haunted he is. how stuck he is, in that childhood bedroom, like he said all those years ago. how deeply sad it is.

it's all of the little things. it's the "you did good work, mulder" in the beginning. it's the way she asks if he's okay to go tell the 14th victim's family. it's way she exclaims "oh my god" when roche says that he just wants to see mulder's face, when he finds samantha's body. one of the few times that we ever see scully lose control, but she just stands up and screams, opens the door and wordlessly waits for mulder to get up and get out of there.

it's the way that she hears "help me, scully" and digs in the dirt, with her bare hands.

(you can tell in his eyes here that he's been crying, and it really gets to me. there's so much that we don't see.)

in the end, they're back in the basement. nothing left but one scrap of tattered fabric, one more lost failure. it's over. she just comes down to check on him.

the progression of scully's face in this last scene is just unbelievably gut-wrenching to me. her smile, when she tells him to get some sleep, and he laughs. the way it disappears when he holds her, and can't see her anymore. with his mother, flashing that smile and hugging her was all that it took to convince her not to worry. when he repeats the same actions with scully, she looks like she could break.

this post:

Episodes like this make me think how alone - not just lonely, but truly alone - Mulder was before her. Nobody lost sleep over him falling apart under the fist of decades old trauma. Nobody grappled with him, let him wrestle his grief against them, and still stayed. Nobody visited him in the hospital, flew to Alaska, lied for him, stayed by his bed for days straight without an extra change of clothes. Nobody else knew he was suffering or wanted to, knew it more than he knew. That end of Paper hearts where she tells him to get some sleep, he laughs at the ridiculousness of it, but also out of incredulity at having someone to wish for better on his behalf. The heartbroken look on her face as he’s laughing into her waist seems to be her coming to the same realisation; “Who looked after you before? How long did you feel like this on your own?”

she is heartbroken. there is so much grief, in being starbuck. there's grief in being needed. there's grief in following ghosts. there's grief in loving someone who is so encased in pain, in loss. he will not go home and get some sleep. a well-placed joke, that smile, a hug, does not convince her that he's okay. he hurts so much, for so long, and he has one person who knows it. and all they do is keep moving: closer and closer to that breaking point that she is so afraid of, and they can't stop.

5/ redux ii

remember when dana scully lied on her death bed and looked up at mulder as he told her that he was not willing to jeopardize skinner to save himself, and she replied, "well, then, you have to lay it on me."

the way he smiles and shakes his head, chokes out "i can't...i can't do that." through tears...they are so kind to each other. all that she has left in the world is her reputation, and she says: take it. take it all. take everything.

she cries when he won't do it.

6/ herrenvolk

okay, i wanna get into some slightly lighter ones, so y'all remember when she nearly fully knocked skinner into the wall, because mulder came in with a (checks notes) scratch on his face?

this is just so scully.

she is so panicked. she just wants to slow him down, to stand between him and the world for even one moment longer.

these tags:

she's almost begging him not to go in. the extent of her worry is heartbreaking. she loves him. it frightens her to know what awaits him.

one of the biggest conflicts of scully's character is that she just cannot stop him, she cannot shield him, she cannot protect him. the way she leans up here, and pulls him to her shoulder. covers him with a blanket. this is what she can do.

there is so much grief in being starbuck!! in loving someone who walks blindly into a world that you do not trust. in following someone into the worst night of their life: over, over, over. years, years, years. in being first mate, holding the responsibility on your shoulders of having to steer in a safe direction, only having one to choose from.

(i also think it's really special, all of the little moments where she checks in. in the previous episode, in the hospital hallway, the way she says "are you okay?" so softly.

in paper clip, when she makes him stop, and says "no, wait, hold on a second...i don't think you've had time to process everything that you've been through."

remnants of the girl who told him she'll cover for him and he should just go get a beer, take some time for himself, after jersey. who suggested he talk to someone, when jerry lamana died. she's always wanted so much for him, but she understands more now. there's still room to pause, for a moment, before he carries on.)

7/ anasazi

ladies, would you shoot your man with a gun, to keep him from endangering himself, while he was being laced with LSD, and then drag him across the country singlehandedly, while he was unconscious, despite him being twice your size? and this, too, is taking care.

the way she says, "i was certain they would have killed you, mulder." and the fear in her voice, his hand on her knee. (she is so young. she really doesn't know what to do, not as often as she seems like she does). the way he says, "thank you. thank you for taking care of me." they are so kind to each other. it'll break your fucking heart.

(i remember asking y'all a few weeks ago, if mulder and scully ever say "i'm sorry," if they ever apologize to each other. and we came up with a couple of times. i'll tell you what, though: not as often as they say "thank you.")

8/ fire

girlbosses when they singlehandedly solve serial murders, to get their best friend's shitty ex away from them!!! okay, i put this one on here because we were talking about it yesterday, but scully really does handle the entire situation with phoebe so perfectly, and that's hard to do, when you're dealing with friends and abusers.

trish, i loved this part of your post yesterday:

scully gives him the space to talk about it, never says too much but she says enough. her phrasing is SO important. she repeats what he just told her in a way that frames it as wrong.

she's a little rabid, lol. we can see it on her face when she's alone, or when mulder's not looking. but around him (around phoebe too) she's calm. she listens, she addresses what he tells her as bad, without pressing. when he tells her that she's off the case, that he doesn't want to expose her to what phoebe is doing, she asks one time: are you sure you don't want help?

he says yes, and she does it anyway. she catches that fucking murderer so that this woman can go home. just, like, an inspiration to us all.

trish's tweet:

really, truly, genuinely. scully solving the case in fire was the absolute best course of action she could have taken. get that woman out of here, an ocean away from mulder. (give him freedom, let him heal, teach him what real love feels like)

(her eyes locked in on him here, phoebe behind her. the way that when phoebe leaves the room, scully says, "you alright?" instantly.)

meeting phoebe just a few months into their partnership made her so fucking crazy like...i make fun of her for being sick in the head in regards to everyone he meets (men and women alike) and never wanting anyone around him other than her but like, my god, can you blame her!!! he's such a gentle person and people are so cruel and it makes her eyes bug out of her head.

yeah, i really don't have much else to say here, you guys. she solved a murder herself, a case that she wasn't even supposed to be working, so that his old gf would go away and stop being mean to him. she doesn't play!!

(also! while we're on the subject of abusive exes, honorable mention to scully cornering diana into an empty room and telling her to "just think" about who mulder is, who he was when she met him, compared to where he is now. "and then try and stand there in front of me. look me in the eye. and tell me mulder wouldn't bust his ass trying to save you.")

9/ deadalive

oh, you guys remember that time she raised him from the dead, right?

scully at 8 months pregnant, sitting in that hospital chair, holding his hand, for days. knowing he can’t feel it, knowing that there’s nothing that says he’ll ever wake up. that it’s impossible. that there is no science…yeah. she just sits there and holds his hand.

i love the moment when she finds out, and she comes barreling through that hallway. she hits skinner first, and starts yelling, “i want to see him. no, i need to see him,” slams her fists into his chest.

then she moves onto doggett. repeats, “i need to see him” through tears. and the way doggett says… “i know. but i wish you wouldn’t.”

she’s loved. they want to protect her, protect her image of mulder as she knew him. but they also both know she will fucking plow them down.

i always think of this fic and feel so ill:

“I pulled you six feet out of the ground,” she whispers, dangerously low. “Because I couldn’t live without you. I gave birth to your child.”

she fed his fish while he was in a casket. she planned a funeral and decorated a nursery alone, at the same time. she ran herself ragged all over the country, trying to keep his work going. she raised him from the dead.

(i also feel that i can throw in here, as related, the time that she busted him out of prison and then abandoned everything in her entire life including her career, her family, and everything she owns, to go on the run from the law and live secretly in seedy motels for years to be with him.)

10/ fight the future

there are too many contenders for my last spot, so i’m gonna keep it simple, and go with the most special movie moment. (of all movies).

from my newsletter:

“Mulder watches the spaceship as it flies overhead, his face glows with a heart-melting grin of childlike wonder and awe.”(x)

That’s exactly what it feels like to me, it’s an innocence and excitement that was so present in season one, that was all over him when he told Scully to come look in the second episode, but that’s rare to see in the later seasons. It’s rare to see at this point in their story, after all that’s happened. They are stranded in Antarctica, both of them injured, both of them freezing in the cold, and they are holding each other and gazing up at the sky. What a perfect thing in their big momentous feature, to bring it all back to what it started with.

there’s such a reverent sentimentality to it, in the simplicity. she had stopped breathing, a few minutes earlier. but when he passes out, she pulls herself up, and grabs onto him. keeps him alive, keeps them both alive, just by holding him close. that’s really the heart of it.

(also, i find it so moving that this film is the only time in the franchise that scully considers leaving, not working with him anymore, and it’s because she thinks she’s not good for him. that she’s holding him back. she never considers him as anything other than wanted, something worth believing in.)

some honorable mentions to: little green men, which i’ve written about here. (especially her secret-signaling him to their secret meet-up place, just to ask if he’s okay). the erlenmeyer flask, which i’ve talked about here. (she literally stops him in the street to tell him that she should have listened to him, and she’s sorry, because she should have trusted his instincts. that means so much, you guys). her telling colton she hopes he falls on his ass after he was making rude comments about mulder in squeeze, screaming at a serial killer that she’ll gas him into hell herself and no one will stop her, if mulder isn’t okay, in beyond the sea….she has threatened and shouted at and smacked around so many people for fucking with him, and this too is care!! (anger meaning you’re worth being angry over, etc etc)

how desperately she became frantic to find their son, after 17 years resigned to never ever looking for him, never ever endangering him that way…because she became convinced that it’s the only thing that would help mulder.

and how important samantha is to her. it matters. it matters, that sam is remembered. that someone else in the world knows. someone knows that they played baseball in the summers, that they fought over the television, that he’s looked for her in every room he’s ever been in. someone else cares about her; not as a white whale, not as a photo on a desk, as a little girl who broke her collarbone because she played on swings too hard. scully listened to her journal, and cried. listened to how much she suffered. how much she just wanted to see her big brother. (scully kept a journal like that, too, once. underwent those same tests. almost died at the hands of those same men. wrote her testimony to that same person.) it’s taking care of mulder, to love samantha. and she does.

#i got really really tired by the end but it is what it is #i want y'all to know #that i almost put 'trust no 1' on here #the way that she yells at doggett that she wants to see mulder 'SO BAD'#but in the end: writes to him that she just wants him to be okay even if she can't see him or hear from him #or even if he can't read what she sends him #and the way that she looks over at william in the stroller and puts her hand on his face #just like...that one semblance of mulder that she still has in her life and that she holds onto- in this baby #and he's growing up without his dad and she NEVER wanted that.#and mulder is writing to her that he just wants to come home to her and to will.#and how her voice shakes and she screams when she talks about how badly she just needs to see him. she feels so alone.#and there are only so many solar system onesies and star mobiles and lullabies from the florida woods that she can give #but ultimately she just wants him to be safe and alive and that's what she tells him and that's what she fights for with everyone else #but it's just so fucking unbearably sad and i couldnt do it after the first few i put on here ksjdfk #i would also say!! that her leaving him post-iwtb and their break-up was in a way taking care of him #getting the fuck out of that house. trying to save herself from that trap of grief.#then coming back when it was less haunted and he was healthier and it was able to be their home again #refusing to suffocate there just because he was. salvaging SOMETHING for him to come back to- and ALWAYS being available for that.#asks #sein und zeit #demons #the end #paper hearts #redux ii #herrenvolk #anasazi #fire #deadalive #ftf

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nerdsandbabyteeth · 1 year

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Can I just say for all the people saying Belos ‘deserves a pathetic death’ and alike, I agree but it’s not about the death itself. He didn’t suffer, he died thinking he was right and trying to continue his manipulation, trying to start all over again. I think for his death to be truly satisfying he needed to remember, he needed to be plagued with visions of the past and the consequences of his actions, how they have amounted to nothing and destroyed his body and his mind in the process. I wanted him to realise, and this could have happened AND them leaving him to die in the rain and stomping on his skull. I understand most people watching the owl house aren’t looking for signs Belos is completing the hubris, harmatia, peripeteia, anagnorisis timeline of tragedy like I was because I keep thinking abt him through the lense of my tragedy course lol but I really wish he had that anagnorisis, that moment of realisation. I just wish he didn’t die thinking he could be martyred in any way for his efforts and death for his cause hmm

Edit: SORRY I turned reblogs off bc this was meant to be just throwing a thought out there before I rewatch the episode tmr and my opinion may change and I am not in a mental state to debate things or respond to people atm

#toh #toh spoilers #owl house spoilers #noggin time #I Hope this makes sense and I didn’t forget anything. I just keep seeing posts like haha he got stomped on but it’s a STORY and stories #deserve to complete the things they build up properly #AND he was the most interesting part of the show to me the nuances of what brought him to this point and his own delusions and they just #boiled his character down to like he is evil and bad in that episode LOL #I did like it btw I will rewatch soon when I’ve gotten over the fact that none of the things I was looking forward to were in it #I ultimately need to accept this show was made for 13 yr old who like anime and fantasy novels and not me really lol ANYWAY. reading my book #about the witchcraft delusion of colonial Connecticut RAAAAAAAHHH #the owl house #guy who starts tumblr text post abt Disney tv show with can I just say… embarrassing

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towerofluin · 25 days

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god, what i would GIVE to see don post 11 year sainw see his kid brothers again, i would give anything to see that reunion forreal

your work is fantastic and just so gorgeous and i am in love with the concept already! their designs? beautiful. stunning. brilliant. show-stopping.

anon, we wed tomorrow at dusk

also THANK YOU???? you're genuinely so nice like this made my week, i've been keeping this ask close to my heart <3<3<3

I'm working on something right now :3 about half way done :3 (artblock hit me like a truck but i'm pushing through it) for you,,, a kinda preview,,,, a little prequel to the comic if you will

#anon #ask #art #fanart #digital art #tmnt #tmnt 2003 #tmnt au #extended stay au #donatello #2003 donatello #raphael #2003 raphael #michelangelo #2003 michelangelo #the ultimate drako #sainw au #ALSO I CHANGED THE ULTIMATE DRAKO'S DESIGN HES A MESS #you know how fanfic authors will come back with 'sorry i got evicted and then kidnapped but im back' thats what i feel like this month

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seriousbrat · 29 days

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what do you think lily's flaws were likely to have been? I hear so many people complain about her being a "Mary Sue" and I feel like it's true that the narrative doesn't really give us problems with her character in the way that it does for James/the other marauders.

Love this question!! I actually think we do see some of Lily's flaws in the narrative, they're just not quite as obvious (or grievous) as Sev's or James's.

In her conversations with Sev in the Prince's Tale, we see that she's willing to overlook pretty unforgivable behaviour because of her friendship with/loyalty towards Sev. He's friends with Mulciber and Avery, he calls the attack on Mary 'a laugh'. In the post-SWM conversation, she displays awareness that Sev calls other people 'mudblood'. Sure, she's not okay with it, but she still tolerates it; it's not until this actively affects her that she decides to end the friendship. I read this as a mixture of naïveté but also just willing blindness. She knows better deep down, but chooses to ignore it because of her love for Sev.

Another thing Lily-haters tend to harp on is her defending James, Sev's bully, to him in this conversation. And I do somewhat agree (although I think it's ridiculous to hold this as worse than everything Sev does to her) but I think it's another sign of her willingness to overlook certain behaviours that she shouldn't. She wants to believe that there's good in everyone because that's easier than facing reality. I don't read this line as 'you should forgive James for everything', I read it more as 'why can't everyone get along because that would be easier than dealing with conflict'. In some ways she's right, because there is good in both Sev and James-- it's somehow both her greatest strength and her greatest weakness. This blind trust is what gets her killed, it's what causes her so much pain in SWM, but it's also what saves her son in the end.

Another thing I think we see in SWM is her temper. Like I've said I think Harry gets his anger issues from Lily rather than from James, and I think she's impulsive, reckless, quick to anger. She leads with her heart. It would have been more rational to get a teacher but she dives into the confrontation personally. She insults both James and Sev pretty viciously in this scene (totally deserved, but still). Her giant squid rant is not some well thought out moral indictment of James's character or actions but an emotional response, a personal attack borne of anger. It's very similar to Harry's numerous all caps rages throughout OotP in which he takes out his anger on the people around him.

When thinking about Lily I think it's fair to extrapolate from Harry's character, because they're meant to be similar. Thematically, DH is largely about Harry realising that he's much more like Lily than he realised. Dumbledore says he was counting on Hermione to slow Harry down: Harry represents the intuitive approach, Hermione the logical. Too much reliance on intuition can't save the day, but neither can too much reliance on logic. It's about balance. Sev is the Hermione to Lily-- his learned ability to put aside his emotional needs and impulses for the greater good is ultimately how Lily protects her son through him.

#lily evans #that got long sorry but it always does when i talk about lily lol #or about anything. ive got to have my little essays #also i'm not saying harry's behaviour isn't understandable!!! it totally is im a harry defender 4life #but it is a flaw that he has.#i honestly see lily as more reckless than james weirdly enough. like i think james deep down is fairly pragmatic and thoughtful #he just represses this part of himself as a teen because he doesn't value it #this is the difference btwn him and sirius. sirius didn't think about the consequences of the prank. james immediately grasped them.#'the risk would have made it fun for james' not adult james. not james who faced voldemort to buy his wife and child time to escape #but sirius is so stuck in the past that he glorifies teenage james rather than learning the same lessons #again i think this is understandable given what sirius has been through. but ultimately irresponsible #meta #lily

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lunaviathan · 1 year

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You ever think about the idea that Sonic, Shadow and Silver all might have impressively long quills for hedgehog mobians? Cus I do. Cus they all have reasons to. Sonic’s constantly tearing through solid metal and wires, the more buzzsaw like he can make himself the better and the more layers between him and sparking machinery while spindashing also all the better. Shadow’s a living weapon and part alien and he has the same reasons as Sonic to maintain them, also, his quills must be So Weird to other hedgehogs. Why are they so dark? I’ve never seen that stripe pattern in my life. How are they going up so much?? And so on. Silver. Silver dude guy. Post/mid-apocalypse extraordinaire (had to look up that word. why the hell is it spelled like that) Between his insane quills and the telekinesis, touching him if he doesn’t want you to is guaranteed pain. Someone get him some industrial scissors his quills don’t need to be that long anymore.

Imagine being a normal little hedgehog mobian. You’ve been living your life, having your quills carefully trimmed and blunted for your convenience and others’ safety, trying to find a nice balance between lengths so it looks nice without ruining the couch. the couch probably gets ruined anyway but it takes longer than if you were doing nothing. You kinda wish you could grow them out more cus other mobians with just fur do some pretty cool stuff. And one day your town gets overrun by robots by this human dude and you get saved by this blue mobian who you haven’t been able to get a good look at because he’s going So Fast and when he finally slows down you’re like. oh. neat I’ve been saved by a superspeed porcupine-wait no. why’s he look like. hedge hog??? Quills? Why????????? Are they so long what.

This guy has done the equivalent of growing up in a world of sewing needle hair and decided to grow them out to goddamn knife points. How has he not stabbed himself. what does his monthly spending on couches look like? And then two other guys show up. they also get mistaken for porcupines. they are also hedgehogs. What.

They all look cool as hell. plotting to ask them about their quill care routine is in your future. Maybe you’ll ask the pink one that just showed up. She seems like the most normal (wrong.) She might know how they do that.

#got possessed or smthn #anyway #sth #sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #shadow the ultimate lifeform #silver the hedgehog #triple s #sonic headcanons #The fact that literally none of the main four hedgehogs except for maybe Amy can be considered reliable sources for what hedgehog mobians #normally look like drives me up the wall (positive) soooo much room for funky hcs #*definitely* none of them if you subscribe to the half echidna amy theory #I love thinking about sonic grooming his quills. he must do it super often to maintain the perfect balance of Shear Through Metal #and Not Debilitating In Every Other Situation #It's the best stim ever he does it each morning even if he doesn't have to #he's half the reason Tails' fur stays in such good shape cus every other day he drags Tails into it too each morning and cleans up his #fur too #there was a lot of trial and error when they were younger for Sonic to figure out how to groom long fur cus all of his is super short and #his quills are too stiff to tangle very easily #but now he'd got it down to a science #Tails can calculate how long it's been since he's seen Sonic on any given day by how unkept his fur is getting #it's not that he can't do it!! Sonic's just so good at it and it feels really nice #ohp got possessed again #gotta hit post before I keep going

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makotonaegiunderstander · 27 days

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sorry my brain is still going a million miles an hour. the Future Arc series had SO many problems. BUT. GOD DAMN that opening and credits sequence. The credits for Future arc genuinely have made me cry multiple times. The imagery is insane. Makoto holds a flower that represents his friends. Slowly the flower dies, falls apart, and more and more flowers start falling and dying and just burying him. His figure starts to bend, weighted down physically and mentally, and he begins to collapse. He’s completely covered eventually. But the moment he’s not visible anymore, suddenly the piles of petals begin to fall away. And he rises back up. He won’t stay down for good. And the flower he holds isn’t completely gone. The petals remaining hold on tenaciously, alive and fighting and hopeful.

#GOD #danganronpa future arc #makoto naegi #am I the only one that cried from those.#also the opening. makoto with the gun to his head was JESUS CHRIST YEAH THATS WHAT BEING ULTIMATE HOPE HAS DONE TO HIM #makoto falling like everyone else but somehow not comprehending that HIS life is in danger and trying to save Kyoko below him #grips my head so hard it bleeds. he developed a hero complex and it’s KILLING HIM #it’s morbid and horrible but I loved how many parallels makoto got to other doomed by the narrative character in dr3

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