#and we get bi mercedes

[booasaur]

P-Valley - 2x04

#pvalleyedit #p valley #pvalley #mercedes woodbine #farrah haynes #brandee evans #shamika cotton #p valley 2x04 #flashing images tw #farrah x mercedes #femslash related stuff #falling for your husband's mistress #well...lusting after her anyway :x #I don't expect this to go anywhere good or longterm #but they're pretty and interesting #and we get bi mercedes #my autumn/mercedes ship inches that much closer to reality :P #man that shot where mercedes is just hanging and rotating #it's one continuous shot despite the multiple gifs #and that little reflection in the end :o

[monzabee]

red, white and blue's in the sky (social media au) -

masterlist ||

Summary: The one where Charles has an olympian girlfriend.

Pairing: charles leclerc x reader (model used: zehra güneş)

Warnings: none other than some cursing and the internet being the internet, kym illman

Author's Note: hi, hey, hello! okay you guys knew i had to do something with my girls, and i had this idea in my mind for a few weeks that i just couldn't shake! just an fyi, if you end up researching zehra, the face claim, and see her height, just know that we are totally prentending her and charles are both complimentary heights. okay? okay, good. i hope you guys enjoy! xoxobee

Please also note that all of my works are protected under copyright, and not available for reposting on other platforms. 

ynyln18

Liked by charles_leclerc, volleyballworld, and 782,681 others

ynyln18: ready for the final round, biz voleybol ülkesiyiz!❣️

sauronyx: yn 'the wall' yln! turkey is proud of you!

derevclara: forza ragazze, faremo il tifo per voi!

yasemingul: even the italians are rooting for the turkish team😭

view all 3,381 comments

scuderiaferrari: go red team!❤️

charles_leclerc: ❤️❤️

(translation: the best moment of the match the man's life came out of his mouth) (it's a turkish idiom, so you know it makes no sense at all)

(tiktok transcript: Next up, is Charles Leclerc - who is currently dating Y/N Y/LN, best known for her position as middle blocker. Y/N is a player in the Turkish team, 'Vakifbank', and due to the national team season, she is currently away with the Turkish National Team. As one of the most followed volleyball players in the world, Y/N has been awarded the 'Best Middle Blocker' award from VNL two years in a row - quite the achievement to receive against tens of teams and hundred of players at the young age of only 23. I first met Y/N at the Turkish Grand Prix in 2020, where she was the person to award the Pirelli Pole Position award to Lance Stroll in a turn of events. She was there as the guest of Mercedes, as she is one of the athletes associated with the brand. Charles and Y/N met in 2020 in the Turkish Grand Prix, and the pair has kept in touch and became close friends, eventually coming out as a couple in the summer of the 2021 season. Though we don't get to see Y/N in the paddock very often, she is a delight when she has the time to come and support her boyfriend in the Ferrari garage - a great loss for Toto Wolff, I presume.)

charles_leclerc

Liked by scuderiaferrari, sebastianvettel, ynyln18 and 752,938 others

charles_leclerc: Always special to be part of @scuderiaferrari when in Italy. Thank you for the incredible support throughout the whole week ❤️ Congrats to Carlos for the amazing drive from FP1 to the last lap of the race. See you in Singapore 🇸🇬

ynyln18: je suis fier de toi, mon amour❣️ (i'm proud of you, my love)

charles_leclerc: ti amo❤️

leclerclechair: next weekend will be better!!

view all 6,948 comments

ynyln18

Liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly, arthur_leclerc and 688,515 others

ynyln18: champion’s dump🫠 (x2)

pierregasly: liked by pierre gasly

charles_leclerc: casse toi ynyln18: hon hon croissant🥐

tarkanofficial: ❤️🇹🇷🏐

powervolleyballofficial: CHAMPIONS 🇹🇷🏐🏆

harleytifosi: DAI!

view all 3,278 comments

abreusmelissavargas: ben malatyalıyım

charles_leclerc posted a story!

ynyln18

tagged location: Istanbul Contemporary

Liked by handebaladin, abreusmelissavargas, ebrarkarakurt18 and 897,647 others

ynyln18: a week off in istanbul before tokyo, aferin charles öğreniyosun bi şeyler (📸: bawsixteen)

ebrarkarakurt18: kolyen olayım tak beni

formulayolla: SHE TAGGED THE PRIVATE ACCOUNT

pennyzizzazz: yes queen!! make him drop the jpg account!!

ynyln18: working on it, chief🫡

romondo__cr: our turkish wall🇹🇷

view all 1,707 comments

paolaegonu: aşko dur

ynyln18: aşko duramam

charles_leclerc: j'ai une jolie prof😂

charles_leclerc

Liked by kymillman, pierregasly, and 817,524 others

charles_leclerc: Next stop, Japan 🤍❤️ @vistajet @thomasflohrvista

sv5yams: the way this man has no regard for global warming

cl16_tifazzi: really? reeeaaally?

ynyln18: 🥹❤️

volleyyn: is he coming to see you? is he?👀 charles_leclerc: of course❤️

charlesleclerc_fanclub_italia: good luck in suzuka!! we believe in you!!

view all 4,738 comments

ynyln18

tagged location: Tokyo, Japan

Liked by kpvolley, fileninsultanlarivn, and love4wags 765,928 others

ynyln18: daydreaming about paris in the summer

charles_leclerc: madonna mia❤️

paulaegonu: Y/N, chi è quest'uomo? ynyln18: la mia musa

view all 3,928comments

hasankaya: olympic medal is loading!

lilymhe: best of luck!🩷

#monzabee #formula 1 x reader #paddock #social media au #f1 social media au #f1 fanfic #f1 fanfiction #f1 x reader #charles leclerc #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc imagine #formula one x reader #charles leclerc social media au

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

María Félix (Doña Barbara, La Mujer sin Alma, Rio Escondido, La Cucaracha)—Maria Felix is still possibly the most well-known Mexican film actress. She turned down multiple-roles in Hollywood and a contract with Metro-Goldwyn-Meyer in order to take roles in Mexico, France, and Argentine throughout the 1940s, 50s, 60s. She was so famous and so respected as a dramatic actress that she inspired painters, novelists and poets in their own art--she was painted by Diego Rivera, Jose Orozco, Bridget Tichenor. The novelist Carlos Fuentes used her as inspiration for his protagonist in Zona Sagrada. She inspired an entire collection by Hermes. In the late 1960s Cartier made her a custom collection of reptile themed jewels. She considered herself to be powerful challenger of morality and femininity in Mexico & worldwide--she routinely played powerful women in roles with challenging moral choices and free sexuality. But even still, years after he death, she is celebrated with Google Doodles, and appearances in the movie Coco, and holidays for the anniversary of her death.

Marie Doro (Lost and Won)—I had never heard of this woman before the prelims a couple of weeks ago, but oh my GOD I have not been able to stop thinking about her since. Look at her!! She was often typecast as delicate, fragile types on stage and screen, but in real life she was "intelligent, an expert on Shakespeare and Elizabethan poetry, and possessed a penetrating humor and a sometimes acid wit"(!!!!) and known for bringing vibrancy and intelligence to all of her roles. Unfortunately most of her films have been lost, but she was considered a highly sought-after lead actress through the '20s, at which point she retired from acting. In her later years, she went back to school, taking university courses in theology, physics, metaphysics, and philosophy. She was also reportedly close friends with Maude Adams and Mercedes de Acosta, both known for their lesbian relationships, which has led some (me) (but also others) to speculate that she may have been lesbian or bi herself. She has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame! She was Charlie Chaplin's first love! She was so beautiful??? I want her to recite poetry for me while we picnic in the park.

This is round 3 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

María Félix:

She's Thee Hot Vintage Movie Woman of México. She's absolutely gorgeous and always looks like she's about to step on you. you WILL be thankful if she does.

"María Félix is a woman -- such a woman -- with the audacity to defy the ideas machos have constructed of what a woman should be. She's free like the wind, she disperses the clouds, or illuminates them with the lightning flash of her gaze." - Octavio Paz

María Félix is one of the most iconic actresses of the Golden Era of Mexican Cinema. La Doña, as she was lovingly nicknamed, only had one son, and when her first marriage ended in divorce her ex-husband stole her only child, so she vowed that one day she’d be more influential than her ex and she’d get her son back. AND SHE DID! María Félix rejected a Hollywood acting role to start her acting career in Mexico on her own terms with El Peñón de las Ánimas (The Rock of Souls) starring alongside actor, and future third husband, Jorge Negrete. She quickly rose to incredible heights both in Mexico and abroad, later on rejecting a Hollywood starring role (Duel in the Sun) as she was already committed to the movie Enamorada at the planned filming time. Of this snubbing she said, quote: “I will never regret saying no to Hollywood, because my career in Europe was focused in [high] quality cinema. [My] india* roles are made in my country, and [my] queen roles are abroad.” (Translator notes: here the “india” role means interpreting a lower-class Mexican woman, usually thought of indigenous/native/mixed descent —which she had interpreted and reinvented throughout her acting career in Mexico— and what abroad was typically considered the Mexican woman stereotype, with the braids, long simple skirts, and sandals. This also references the expectation of her possibly helping Hollywood in perpetuating this stereotype for American audiences that lack the cultural and historical contexts of this type of role which would undermine her own efforts against this type of Mexican stereotypes while working in Europe) She was considered one of the most beautiful women in the world of her time by international magazines like Life, París Match, and Esquire, and was a muse to a vast number of songwriters (including her second husband Agustin Lara,), artists, designers, and writers. Muralist Diego Rivera described her as “a monstrously perfect being. She’s an exemplary being that drives all other human beings to put as much effort as possible to be like her”. Playwriter Jean Cocteau, who worked with her in the Spanish film La Corona Negra (The Black Crown) said the following about her, “María, that woman is so beautiful it hurts”. Haute Couture houses like Dior, Givenchy, Yves Saint Laurent, Balenciaga, Hérmes, among others, designed and dressed her throughout her life. She died on her birthday, April 8, 2002, at 88 years old, in Mexico City. She was celebrated by a parade from her home to the Fine Arts Palace in the the city’s Historic Downtown, where a multitude of people paid tribute to her. Her filmography includes 47 movies from 1942 until 1970, and only two television acting roles in 1970. She has 2 music albums, one recorded with her second husband, Agustín Lara, in 1964 titled La Voz de María y la inspiración de Agustín «The voice of María and the inspiration of Augustín», and her solo album Enamorada «In Love» in 1998. Her bespoke Cartier jewelry is exhibited alongside Elizabeth Taylor’s, Grace Kelly’s and Gloria Swanson’s. In 2018, Film Director Martin Scorsese presented a restored and remastered version of her film Enamorada in the Cannes Classics section of the Cannes Festival and Google dedicated a doodle for her 104th birthday. On august 2023 Barbie added her doll to the Tribute Collection.

Marie Doro:

Unfortunately nearly all of Marie Doro’s movies are lost, and I don’t know a lot about her, but as soon as I came across Marie for the first time, I fell in love with her. The early Edwardian era is my favourite decade for fashion, and Marie wears it all so well! In every photo she looks like an angel made out of porcelain, too perfect to be real. She was Charlie Chaplin’s first love, and he remained in love with her for years after their first encounter, and let’s be honest, who can blame him? He said about her in his biography:

‘She was so devastatingly beautiful that I resented her. I resented her delicate, pouting lips, her regular white teeth, her adorable chin, her raven hair and dark brown eyes. But, oh God, she was beautiful! It was love at first sight. At the theatre I would time the moment that she left her dressing room so as to meet her on the stairs and gulp 'good-evening.' When I met Marie Doro again, it was like the second act of a romantic play. After we were introduced I said: 'But we've met before. You broke my heart. I was silently in love with you.' Marie, looking as beautiful as ever, said: “How thrilling”.

Doro retired from filmmaking in the 1920s and became very reclusive after that, so unfortunately there’s hardly any footage of her to watch. I feel sad that more people don’t know who Marie Doro is, because she’s very important to me.

Linked gifset to see Marie in action

#marie doro #maria felix #hotvintagepoll #fuck that old woman #ladies 3

[usaigi]

Modern Blue Lions headcanons

Dimitri

Has difficulties with fine motor skills following the car accident that killed his family and Glenn. Has to use accommodating tools like specific silverware and a laptop to take notes in class. Kids used to be jealous that he got use a laptop in class but he just wanted to be normal

Regular member of his school GSA but everyone assume he's just a straight ally because look at him. Look at his hair. He's straight. His classmates don't discover he's actually bi until a week before graduation when they see him kiss Felix

Also a regular member of the BIPOC solidarity club. Dimitri, Dorothea, Ashe and Constance are the token white allies.

(mental health spiraling) "haha puberty/hormones :) No need to discuss these new symptoms with anyone, it's just normal teenager things" (it is not normal teenage things)

Annette

banned from home ec after starting a fire while making a salad... She's was trying to make homemade croutons...

girl ADHD :)

she got a B on a chem test one and cried about it for 2 days straight

"Maybe if I get all A and get this many awards and get this many scholarships, my dad will love me :)" (girl.. :( )

Frenemies with Lysithea. They're buddies until it's time for exams. Then it's war. There can only be one valedictorian. (death note's "I'll take a potato chip and eat it" songs plays in the background)

Olivia Rodrigo stan

Sylvain

Hasn't said "okay i'm sorry that I looked at Mrs Riley and lightly grazed her left tit" but has said that exact same thing

friend with a car. "yeah we can all fit into my Audi; Annette and Ashe are tiny, just squeeze in and pretend you like each other. We can stick Felix in the trunk" "I'll kill you."

He's in Lacross AND theatre. Ice hockey AND Ice dancing and figure skating. He can do both, he's bisexual

Has to pick between a major sport game and his theatre show. His dad wants him to follow his dream and do the game but Sylvain is getting ready to tell him "no dad i'm giving up your dream." He backs out. He goes to the game.

"You got a perfect score on the college entrance exams?" "Why is it hard?" (he studied so much)

Ingrid

"Gay people are real??? They don't just exist in San Francisco and on Glee???" /gen confusion. Not in a homophobic way, she's just raised in a conservative environment and instead of going on the internet, she hangs out with her horses (Just wait till she finds out about trans people)

When her family was going through a particularly hard financial time, her friends started packing extra lunch. They all know she doesn't accept handouts but Ingrid will never say no to leftovers.

So chronically offline. Who's Billie Eilish? What's Succession? What is Rizz?? They're making another Spider-Man movie!?

Dedue

Vice-president of the BIPOC solidarity club. The school gives them club money and he uses it to make food for the members.

"..." "Go on" "Down with... gringo?" *Claude, Petra, Felix, Cyril, Hapi, Constance, Dimitri, Ashe and Dorothea all clap*

Football/Basketball/Hockey couches keep trying to recruit him. He just wants to garden.

(Tw racism and ref to violence to poc men) "I don't want to antagonist white people. As a large brown man, I'm already perceived as a threat." "That's ok! Your safety comes first. I got this," Dorothea says as she throws eggs at someone's car with a confederate flag.

Mercedes

"I'm joining the war on liberation theology on the side of liberation theology."

"Mercedes! Can you explain your tardiness?" "Forgive me, professor, I was at morning mass." (She was. But she's late because she stop to smoke a blunt.)

In her most angelic, big sister voice, "fuck TradCaths 😊"

Somehow still failing her religious studies class

(tw cults and implied anti semitic conspiracy) Raised in a religious cult where her step dad was the leader until she and her mom escaped. Because of this, did not know Jewish people were real. "I knew they were people in the bible but all I knew was [redact]" (Don't worry, she knows better now that she's not in a literal cult)

Felix

"I fucking hate my dad" "why? Is it cause he didn't accept you being queer/trans?" "No, he was cool with that. He's just fucking annoying."

"Ingrid, what the hell, I'm literally trans. You know this. We've been friends since we were in diapers." "Oh. I forgot." "YOU FORGOT!?"

Wasian. (tw sui joke) @ Dimitri and Sylvain "stop joking about killing yourself--you're appropriating my culture, assholes."

Secret Olivia Rodrigo fan. He only listens to her music on youtube + incognito mode. Only Annette knows. Annette manages to get them concert tickets were they run into Lysithea.

Ashe

Spider-Man stan on main. Somehow he convinces Dedue to be his Ned Leeds to his Peter Parker for Halloween

He knows Ingrid would like the MCU if she watched it, but she's scared of needing to watch 10000 movies

*slaps Ashe's back* You can pack so much anxiety in this guy

Started school in the middle of the year because he's a foster kid. Rumors started spread about him being a harden criminal because he went to juvie. He keeps tries to correct them and say he's never been but Caspar keeps fueling the rumors

"Caspar! Stop telling people I went to juvie! That never happened!" "...You... lied to me? :(" "You made it up!" "Oooh. Right."

#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #annette fantine dominic #dedue molinaro #sylvain jose gautier #ingrid brandl galatea #ashe ubert #felix hugo fraldarius #mercedes von martritz #dorothea arnault #caspar von bergliez #lysithea von ordelia #fe3h #fire emblem #fire emblem three houses #fire emblem three hopes fanart #fe16 #blue lions #usaigi speaks #heacanons

[umlewis]

lewis hamilton is interviewed on media day, saudi arabia - march 6, 2024 (transcript under the cut)

Interviewer: "Lewis, there's obvious discontent elsewhere in the paddock right now, and I'm wondering wehether or not, with the potential for some incredible talent to move, would you want to tempt Adrian Newey to perhaps come and join you at Ferrari? Or could you see Max coming here to Mercedes when you leave? Could you see either of those two things happening in the future?" Lewis: "I think my move has shown that anything is possible, and there's gonna be a really interesting next six months or so. I don't have an extra scoop on… I know that… I'm sure Max is on the list, but I'm pretty sure he's tied up, and also I couldn't see why you would leave a car that was that good. [laughs] But yeah, in terms of Adrian, having worked within the team… I know obviously Adrian gets all the praise for everybody's work. I know he's a huge part of it, of course, but I know there's so many engineers in the background that are a huge part of developing the team and the car that they have, and it's not down to one person, so… It's not my decision. I'm competing against them this year, at the moment, so I can't really talk about next year so far, just yet." Interviewer: "After the race last weekend, speaking to George about the cooling issue and the overheating, he said, 'We know what it is, we're confident,' and I said, 'Are you worried about Jeddah,' and he said no. So what's happened in the meantime? 'Cause he didn't sound quite so confident in the press conference. What have the team found in the week in between that suggests that there might be a little bi t more to it than perhaps the simple answer that you thought it was?" Lewis: "Yeah, I mean, I can't go into detail, but they understand where the issue is, where they perhaps missed things, and that's not only just within the cooling but in lots of areas of the car, so they'll try to make changes on that. They realized that there were certain things they didn't get right, and we've got a huge group of people back at HP who are doing such an amazing job, so I don't see it being an issue moving forwards."

#lewis hamilton #f1 #formula 1 #saudi arabian gp 2024 #fic ref #fic ref 2024 #saudi arabia #saudi arabia 2024 #saudi arabia 2024 wednesday #with george #adrian newey #tw max

[toulousewayne]

Batfamily Shenanigans:Head-canons Pt: 3

Even though has vigilantes they Batfam drive several different vehicles, most of them don’t have a license or got it late. Steph,Cass,Duke, and Damian don’t have licenses. Dick,Tim, and Barbara have licensed, Jason has a fake license due to the fact he and Bruce were supposed to declare him not dead but both have forgotten and he just gets Barbara to update it if it expires.

Speaking of cars I feel like those that can drive have favorite or one specific vehicle that use.

Bruce drives an all grey Lamborghini or a red Porsche.

Dick has a older Porsche in green.

Barbara had a yellow buggy when she was younger but now she has a black SUV.

Tim usually takes one of Bruce’s Mercedes.

Jason has two motorcycles and a older impala he fixed up in his spare time.

Damian likes to paint his sisters nails, he finds it calming. Stephanie is his favorite, Cass only likes her nails painted sometimes not all the time and Babs picks at her nails when she’s stressed. Stephanie let’s him pick the color and the just sit in his room while he paints.

Bruce has a large collection of alcohol but he himself doesn’t drink.

Alfred has a notebook with a contact for each family member in case they won’t listen to him or needs help. Bruce has Clark, Dick has Wally, Jason has Roy, Tim has Conner, Damian has Jon, and Barbara has Dinah. If plan A fails he’ll call plan B for any of them. Diana.

Tim has Hypoglycemia.

Dick has the most tattoos. It’s only five and their all small.

Bruce can’t stand the smell of gasoline it reminds him of when he lost Jason.

Alfred will order pizza once a month. One to give him a break and two because no eats the same pizza so he has order everyone their own whole pizza. It goes as followed.

Bruce doesn’t really like pizza that much but he eat what kind Alfred orders him, Dick is a Hawaii pizza Guy pineapple and all, Jason likes Buffalo chicken pizza, Tim likes pepperoni, Damian of course gets vegetarian, Duke what pepperoni and nothing else, Stephanie like plain cheese, Cass likes Pepperoni and and black olives, Barbara likes Supreme,and Alfred doesn’t like pizza he likes the cheesy garlic bread or flatbread pizza.

Personally I think of Jason has either half Latino and Italian or Puerto Rican, Tim has Korean American.

In that same vein, I see the Batfamily in this height range: Jason is 6’2-6’3, Bruce is 6’2,Alfred is 6’1, Duke is 6’0, Dick is 5’11, Barbara is 5’10, Stephanie and Cassandra are 5’9,Tim is 5’8, Damian is 5’5.

Also, we all know Tim is Bi,Selina is Bi and Kate is a lesbian. I see the other Bats as different sexual orientation as well. Dick is Pan, Jason is Asexual, Stephanie is Pan, Cass and Damian are both Aromatic, Duke is straight, and Barbara is Bicurious but is comfortable to enough to appreciate beautiful women. Bruce is Bi and just doesn’t know it yet.

Cass is very good a tending to different hairstyles and textures. She braids Babs,Steph and Dick’s hair. She’s also helps Damian and Bruce with their hair due to over styling it putting to much product in their hair. She also cuts Dick’s hair when it gets to long and greasy.

Duke is very good baking and his sweets are high on everyone’s lists like Alfred.

Stephanie definitely is the Big Sister Damian always needed. She pranks him, teases him about his crushes, but she also leaves her apartment window unlocked for Damian to enter at anytime of the night when he feels overwhelmed and doesn’t want to go to Bludhaven. She takes him to his favorite art supply store in Gotham Heights, and even gifts him stuff for his next project.

Tim is definitely the lost child of Dick and Barbara. Even though the two aren’t together and have different relationships(another head cannon), Tim is pretty much their child of divorce. They both have check his location to make sure he’s not trying to burn down LexCorp, or if he hasn’t left is room for three days straight Tim might find it strange that all tech disabled except for his phone but it’s reprogrammed to only call Barbara and only then will she fix it devices. Dick will just randomly enter Tim’s office at Wayne Enterprises and will mess with his stuff while Tim’s on a zoom meeting. And once he’s done he will ask Tim what’s their plans for lunch.

Selina and Talia both will make random trips to Wayne Manor to check on their children. Selina has threatened Bruce’s life numerous times for shouting at Dick or Duke. Bruce has woken up in the middle of the night to a dagger drawn to his throat he knows it’s Talia and all she says is, “Don’t make me have to have this talk again beloved, I’d hate for poor Alfred to have to clean up your room.”

Tim and Damian both hate mint chocolate chip ice cream. Cass finds it enjoyable and will help eat their portions if she needs to.

Duke taught Damian how to play Spades, and in return Damian taught him to paint so he could paint his girlfriend a gift for their anniversary.

#batfamily shenanigans #dc comics #dc universe #dc live action #batman #batfamily #batfam #dick grayson #gotham knights #jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #batman and robin #batgirl #batman tv series #batman the brave and the bold #stephaine brown #cassandra wayne #duke thomas #barbara gordon #dceu #dcu

[ummick]

A Night In Tokyo With Mick Schumacher and A Mercedes 190E Evo II

Driving around Tokyo is daunting. With no centre or suburbs, its road network is huge, spiralling, occasionally latticed and sometimes subterranean. At times, even Mr Roboto in the satnav gives up and shrugs directions your way. Which has happened. Meaning I'm lost while leading Mick Schumacher (behind the wheel of a stunning Mercedes 190E 2.5-16 Evolution II) through Japan's neon-lined labyrinth. It's a hot, humid evening and Mercedes F1's reserve driver (and son of iconic seven-time Formula One world champion Michael Schumacher) is cutting the perfect shape of a 90s boyband member. Where I'm perspiring like a burst pipe, he palms back his blonde curls and looks effortlessly cool in his loose-fitting, oversized Tommy Hilfiger contractual clobber. Sartorially, it couldn't be more of a perfect fit for the car he's driving. Born out of German touring cars, the Evo II is a deeply lustworthy, boxy and bewinged sports saloon. With a revvy, induction-tastic 232bhp four-cylinder engine mated to a dog leg close-ratio five-speed manual, rear-wheel drive and aero appendages that get petrolheads salivating, it's a proper tip one's hat 'if you know, you know' car. Mercedes only built 502 of them (as per DTM's homologation rules) out of some 1.9 million W201 models that it's based on, so they're properly rare beasts. The fact we've got a quadruplet of Evos following Mick makes the situation we're in a bit more mind-blowing. But that's the plan. We wanted to give Mick an evening to remember, to take him away from the repetition and rigmarole of modern media junkets. We don't want to know where he keeps his ketchup, or when the last time he thought of the Roman Empire was. We want to indulge his love for cars.

"I went looking for an Evo II to buy but decided against it… for now," Mick says in his soft, geographically hard to place international accent. "It's a beautiful car and has huge sentimental value to me, the main reason being that my dad had one as a company car when he was a Mercedes junior. He spent a lot of time doing lots of laps on the Nordschleife with Heinz-Harald Frentzen. I remember within a month they had to change the brake pads and things with the engine. So it's an emotionally important car to me." Growing up in Gland, Switzerland, Mick struggles to pinpoint exactly when he got bitten by the road car bug. "Honestly, I don't really know where I got into them. Driving them around the property as a child was a big factor. The first time I had a steering wheel in my hand from a road car was maybe four or five years old, on my dad's lap. I got to drive very nice cars, very soon and very early. I guess it just grew naturally. Especially when I turned 18; then it really turned into an obsession." Raised on a healthy diet of racing, the Fast and Furious franchise and gaming, Mick picked up a penchant for JDM cars by proxy. "I just love how raw and simple they are," he says. "I enjoy playing around with them, changing stuff, tuning them and making them more fun to drive." Knowing this, we head out of Tokyo towards Chiba to meet Japan's most inconspicuous bad boy: Kazuhiko 'Smokey' Nagata. Tobacco and turbo enthusiast Smokey is one of Japan's legendary tuners. He and his company Top Secret have modified every generation of Nissan GT-R, including an R33 Skyline GT-R that managed 0–186mph in 17 seconds at Yatabe test track and 204mph in Tokyo's famous Aqualine tunnel. Like Smokey, Mick is also a GT-R fanboy, with some tucked away in a shed at home, including his R34 drift car.

"I've really got into drifting. As an F1 driver, drifting, or oversteer, is the opposite of what you want to do, but if you control it and have the feel for it, it can really help you. So I took the step of saying 'I want to try it' after the 2019 Race of Champions skill race. I was quite good, finishing second against rally drivers and everything, so I thought, 'Okay, maybe I should try this a bit more,' so I got my own car and started enjoying sideways. I love the sensation of connecting turns and being in a difficult situation, because obviously the car is upset, to then be able to control it. I think that's what's so intriguing. It's a good feeling." Mick's curiosity and JDM love resonates as he wanders around Smokey's GT-R littered shop. Not being able to speak Japanese, Mick uses international hand signals for car nuts to explain various car parts, gets out his phone to show Smokey his cars before stumbling upon Smokey's VR32 GT-R (an R32 with all the mechanics and interior of the R35 transplanted) and trying to find a way to import it into Switzerland. But we've got no time for this, as we've got the legendary Bayshore Route to hit and a car meet to get to. For someone so young, 24-year-old Mick is at a rather quiescent point in his career. Having had a triumphant run in his youth coming second in karting in the World, European and German Junior Championships, then switching to Formula 4 in 2015 and finishing second overall in both the German and Italian F4 championships, before becoming European Formula 3 Champion in 2018 and FIA Formula 2 Champion in 2020, Mick made it to the big leagues and bagged himself a seat in F1 with Haas. It wasn't easy. In 2022 Mick lost his seat after a difficult second season that saw him struggle to match teammate Kevin Magnussen for form. He recorded a best finish of sixth in Austria, one of two points finishes during the season, but it was not enough to save his seat. For 2023, Mick dropped his Ferrari junior ties and linked up with Mercedes (the last team his father raced for in F1), picking up the role of reserve driver.

"Being a reserve driver gives you tremendous insight, especially at Mercedes," Mick says. "I miss driving, I'm not going to lie, but the main thing I've learned since moving from Haas to Mercedes is how the team operates, the tools they have, how they use them and the communication. They're big learning points. It has opened my eyes in a lot of ways and has made it clear why Mercedes is as successful as it is. The worst part is sitting in the garage and seeing everybody drive out and do what you love to do." Part of Mick's remit is to join Mercedes trackside at all F1 race. That's how we're able to blat around Tokyo for a night before he heads to Suzuka to support the team. But time in Merc's state-of-the-art sim back in Brackley is also key. Mick was praised by Mercedes' technical director James Allison for a 2 am shift he did during the British GP weekend, turning the car's "woeful" one-lap pace on Friday into a competitive car and set-up for Lewis Hamilton and George Russell to compete with during quali and the race on Sunday. With every mile behind the Evo II's wheel, Mick's smile grows to match the width of its monstrous rear wing, especially when he realizes it shoots flame on the overrun after a 7,600 rpm toll booth roll out. We cross over to Yokohama and swirl down a concrete pillared plughole, arriving in an unsuspecting parking lot that doubles up as the epicentre of cool Japanese car culture in Japan: Daikoku PA. Mick, having never been to a car meet before, has his eyes widened. Even though it's a school night, the place is pumping. Mick walks around curiously, showing his girlfriend, Danish model Laila Hasanovic, Veilside-kitted Mazda RX-7s, how riveted wide arch Liberty Walk bodywork hangs from an R35 GT-R for the ultimate kerbside stance, and the extended provenance from the flood of awesome, rare Mercedes (including the original 190E Evo I, an AMG-clad W124 and a custom Cosworth 2.5 boasting Penta wheels and Brabus brakes) that are all parked honourably in their uniform herringbone bays. As Mick gets under the bonnets and kindly signs carbon airboxes for marginally hysterical owners, I wonder if he's handy with the spanners.

"I wish I was," he says, "but I don't have the time. I'm starting to bring more of my cars over to my place so that I eventually will be able to work on them myself and change things that I want to change. Currently, I am very good at taking things apart… maybe less gifted at putting them back together." But since the meteoric rise of social media and documentaries like Netflix's Drive to Survive, racing drivers' personalities have been mainlined into public consciousness. Nowadays, it appears drivers' human interests need to be put on display like the plastic dishes outside Daikoku's service station restaurant windows. Yet here, tonight, Mick seems completely at home and relaxed. "It's risky because I feel like I'm a very private person. I like my privacy. Sometimes when you get people wanting to know more, they get a bit too snoopy. I feel it should be my choice how much I share, and what I share, not people trying to figure that out for me." In this job you get to sniff out the car nuts from the blaggers, and Mick's passion is palpable. It's refreshing to see, and a welcome break from the headlines and hearsay currently surrounding him given he's caught in a gloopy limbo where F1 politics, money and raw talent are all currently fighting each other to work out where he'll race next.

As I type, Mick's currently linked with an LMDh drive with Alpine in next year's World Endurance Championship, a move Mercedes F1's big boss Toto Wolff is fine with, as Mick is "part of the family" and "will always have a home." Mick's tone becomes more forlorn when talking about the future, obviously having had a tough few years and aching to get back into an F1 car. I wonder if it takes its toll, and how he pushes through in times of uncertainty. "Having the right people around you," he says. "You need to try and be mentally in the right space and try and get the best out of the situation so that you can, whenever it's necessary, be in the position that you can jump in and be ready to go." After an evening with Mick, you can't help but wish him the best of luck. If all else fails, he could always lean into drifting and see where that takes him. Sideways Schuey. Has a good ring to it, doesn't it?

#mick schumacher #f1 #formula 1 #japanese gp 2023 #fic ref #fic ref 2023 #japan #japan 2023 #japan 2023 thursday #not a race #2023 not a race #between singapore and japan 2023 #tw food #cw food #tw smoking #with michael #childhood photos

[daisyishedwig]

@cryscendo wanted to hear more about my Hevans AU so here are a couple of my favorite bullet points on my extensive outline.

Below a cut because I got too excited and it's long

Rocky Horror happens but like… what if Sam plays Frank and Kurt plays Rocky? Like they try to shoehorn kurt into frank and instead he says he might want to play rocky. 

Sam asks about playing frank n furter after Mike’s parents pull him from the show. It’s after he’s read through the script and now understand what the show is about and it’s definitely not because frank gets to fool around with rocky.

Sam is the one who sees Karofsky cornering kurt by his locker. No talking to shue or sue because they’re useless

Sam overhears finn refusing to help Kurt and goes off on him for it. 

Kurt being the one to fawn over Sam when he gets hurt in the fight with karofsky

Sam maybe offers to help Kurt teach finn and burt how to dance

That’s the first time Sam hears about karofsky threatening to kill kurt

Kurt and sam dance down the isle together, putting quinn and mercedes together

Same happens during just the way you are, kurt hands burt off to carole and he looks for mercedes but Sam appears to take over

Sam and Kurt get the duet for Sectionals 

"Kurt, I want you to look me in the eye, okay? And answer this question. If we lived in a world where noone cared about you being gay or me being bi and there was no reason to see us as anything other than two people who happen to be singing a love song… would you still be uncomfortable singing this song with me? Because I genuinely do not care what anyone thinks about it, I don't care if they think I'm gay, if they make fun of me, or any of that. But if you feel uncomfortable singing a love song with me for a reason other than protecting me, then I will drop it and we can sing something else. But I would love to sing this song with you."

Kurt being very uncomfortable during the sex ed lessons from miss holiday

Sam actively asking her for resources of queer sex

Kurt panicking and thinking Sam is asking for right now and not just because he wants to be prepared for the future so he can make kurt’s first time special if they get there

“I’m not ready for that”

“Oh, babe, I know. And that’s okay. I dont’ expect you to be ready today or tomorrow or even anytime soon. I just want to make sure I know what I’m doing, so that when or if we ever do have sex… I can make it special or you”

Okay, so why would the santana and karofsky thing happen in this? Would it just be because she wants to pull the jock vote? Is it just for the beard thing? How does she not turn the entire glee club against her? Did she still make him apologize to Kurt and the rest of the Glee club? How does Sam react to Santana dating Karofksy?

Oh, fuck it, none of that matters. Karofksy will just run with someone else, it’s just simpler that way.

Rachel could still ask Sam to go to prom with her “because obviously you can’t go with Kurt since you’re not out” You know, because she’s awful.

#hevans #kurt hummel #sam evans #glee #daisyishedwig writes

[tuiyla]

Do you think Rachel would or has struggled with her sexuality? If we read her friendships with Quinn and Santana, or example, as driven in part by some level of romantic or sexual attraction, do you think this would be challenging for Rachel to parse, or a point of tension? Or does she just never explore it in canon because the opportunity is never there?

Imma put canon aside for a second be she's simply just not canonically queer but it's SUPER fun to think about a better show where she was so, yeah. Rachel's bi as far as my version of Glee is concerned.

In terms of how I see that going down, two ways. One more comedic and one more dramatic, depending on which side of the bed Glee would have woken up that morning. The more comedic version would have her behave similarly to how she did in Blame It On the Alcohol. That is, she'd view newfound feelings of queerness as a great opportunity for artistic expansion and would be a little over the top and silly about it. So, say, Rachel realizes, preferably when she isn't currently dating Finn, that oh shit, maybe she's attracted to Quinn, too. And because she's Rachel she'd go all in and be very grand gesture about it because yolo and push! Push your feelings away, they're that big! She wouldn't feel conflicted about the queerness of it all for long because, given her dads, she's always always been comfortable thinking outside of heteronormativity. If anything, she's a little relieved and very pretentious about it because now she's not only an ally but bisexual herself! And she does not shut up about it for a while. Very out and proud, but also treating it as a very natural thing because to her it is. Also idk why I used Faberry in this hypothetical when I've actually read a REALLY good Pezberry fic that handles Rachel in a similar way to what I would imagine. Please read that fic, I'm still hoping it will get finished one day.

The more dramatic approach would be to have Rachel struggle a little bit with the realization. And that would be understandable as the two most obvious candidates for her to realize her queerness with are Quinn and Santana, both tumultuous and complicated relationships. I kinda feel like it being Quinntana would be more of a point of tension for Rachel than just bisexuality itself. Because, say, in a version of Glee where Rachel develops feelings for Mercedes I really don't see those feelings posing a challenge, as such. Not the queer aspect of it. Rachel Berry is a lot of things and a staunch ally from day one is one of them, even if she is misguided on occasion. So realizing that she herself is queer wouldn't cause a crisis of identity nearly as much as it would for other chs (cough Quinn cough).

In terms of Faberry and/or Pezberry, however, there's angst potential. Say, Rachel realizes just as the Pezberry feud is happening that oh, no! Not only is Santana hot, which is something Rachel's always known, but she's hot in a way Rachel's very attracted to and now that they're fighting she realizes she's missing Santana as more than a friend. And that would be challenging to parse because I think she'd feel like she's not supposed to like Santana and would somehow project that onto the whole idea of Sapphic tendencies. And it would make her reevaluate the complex dynamic she had with Quinn, too. Additionally, this coming just after Finn's passing, too, would make Rachel feel like she just doesn't know herself and what she wants. So I think grappling with her own queer identity would make her spiral in that way but even in such a scenario the root cause of any tension wouldn't actually be her sexuality. It's just the specific circumstances, you know. Why her, and all that.

That said I don't think that it would always cause Rachel to spiral a bit, like I said this is the more dramatic version of events. I think, ultimately, that I just have to approach this as a matter of what could have happened in an alternate timeline because as fruity as I read Faberry and Pezberry, any sort of romantic and/or sexual feelings on Rachel's part are not canon. So like, that's why it's never explored in canon. But even if we don't totally rewrite things and instead just pretend those feelings were there and Rachel grappled with them at some point, I think the queerness of it all still wouldn't be a big deal to her. If Rachel were to realize in retrospect that at least some of her relationship to Quinn and Santana was motivated by those sexual/romantic feelings she'd quickly come to terms with bisexuality and just go "oh okay, cool!" Given that those feelings were in the past and/or not possible to act on, such as her looking back on it when married to Jesse.

So I hope that answers your question; this is fun for me to think about because the Fapezberry triangle is delicious. Even though we don't have canon queer Rachel, adding her to the mix just makes things even more interesting.

#glee asks #anon #rachel asks #faberry #pezberry #glee sexuality headcanons #kinda #rachel berry

[nityarawal]

Sent to legal:

Aloha! Happy Presidents day! I spoke to my handyman about bullying from my landlord Daniel Hall for his lazy sauna bedroom bill. He and my other 7 handman feel he's giving men a bad name smearing our best moms as a gay man. His X Cougar gf Melody Gray lured me here to testify against her nurse IEHP mom in medical malpractice lawsuit with Dr Natalya. They treated me for Tick, lymes, and a brain cyst then coldly blocked me from any follow up since and try to mentally abuse me. Melody caught her mom on this phone number listed above smearing her and I. She's failed to procure screen shots she promised in June! Darlene worked at Dr. Browning office & Idyllwild Health Center with Ukranian Dr. Natalya murdering thousands of colleagues and clients since covid. My atty was Ken Carlsson but he's been found guilty of committing foul play with brokers & courts too for murder. America First Legal is handling refunds from Elon Musk now. I cc'd them. We just need all your testimony for Dr Adam Cash- he wrote "Psychology For Dummies." Thankyou.

This is the culmination of my work. Integrity. Lol A new president and my kids are coming home today to play with puppies. Make that happen. Melody also busted PNC Bank for harvesting clients with Pfizer and BBVA AI scams. She filmed pnc Pfizer executive office on record- caught them lying etc. Could y'all hurry and send in your testimonies so I can close out? Truth is I need heat and Daniel has been a selfish substandard landlord. I was soaking wet cold all winter and he kept unplugging electric because he's having bi-bolar, manic, schizophrenic episodes at all the tenants. Melody claims he violently broke her leg. I work on comission as a journalist for justice & housing rights as a realtor of 25 years. Melody took a bribe from her Idaho sugar daddy big pharma pimp and got a black Mercedes over Christmas- tampering with Elon Musk cybertruck give away for distressed moms. Melody also claims her step dad molested her and her 3 daughters. He's 10 years younger than Darlene and she's sold out to pedophilia agenda. Melody also said Daniel's step-dad Martin tried to molest a tenant. Could you explain what happens to men that molested children Dennis. I'll send the country club murder article about Adrian Denada so we're crystal clear what happens and please advise Martin not to come back to California. Robert Dreyfuss's dad was murdered from Aguanga on that addiction too. They'll put the gun in Daniel's hand and force him to pull the trigger. Only a 2.5 year charge for the child victims in self defense. Does that play book work for step-dad? It seems Sheriff Parsons is circling our home to set the groundwork? We'd rather Vegas handle charges humanely.

Thanks for cleaning up the hill. Please don't hurt Daniel or his pets & dogs or my x! Just get our kids. Melody has a 15yo Anjali molested by Darlenes pimp too.

All Love,

Nitya xo

[eiirisworkshop]

One More Notch

A Glee fanfiction Complete fic available to read on Ao3 here.

~

So here's what you missed on Glee:

Blaine got drunk and made out with Rachel so he thought he might be bi.

In Rachel's basement, she and Blaine kiss sloppily, surrounded by the rest of the glee kids.

Kurt didn't take that too well since he doesn't seem to think bisexuals are real.

Across a coffee shop table, Kurt gives Blaine a scathing look. "Bi is just what people call themselves when they're scared to admit they're gay."

Blaine got really fed up with Kurt so he dumped him.

"You're being so narrow minded and dismissive!" Blaine shouts across the choir room. "I'm sick of it! I'm done."

Then he went out with Rachel, but they had no chemistry so they called it off and Blaine's sure he really is gay. Kurt was really upset over getting dumped so he and Blaine just kinda didn't get back together. They're mostly over it but things are still a little weird.

At the end of a musical number, hugs and high fives are going around. Kurt and Blaine shake hands stiffly.

And that's what you missed on Glee.

~*~

"Again, winning Sectionals has done absolutely nothing for our cred," Mercedes lamented as she set her lunch tray down and dropped into her seat.

Kurt brushed his hair off his forehead with a sigh. "Let's face it, it's going to take a bigger win to earn us the respect we deserve."

"Yeah." Tina stared listlessly at her chicken nuggets. "On a less depressing note," she ate a nugget, "have either of you seen the new transfer kid?"

"Yeah." Mercedes made a face. "What kinda kid changes schools in November ?"

"Bargain store cowboys with no-name jeans and a ridiculously thick accent."

The two girls stared at Kurt. He shrugged. "He's in my math class."

"Oh," both girls said, nodding.

"He's kinda cute, though, in a pickup truck commercial kinda way," Mercedes said casually.

Tina and Kurt considered her, looked to each other, then nodded.

Meanwhile, a knock at his office doorframe startled Mr. Schuester into looking up from the stack of quizzes he was grading. A tall boy in a faded buttonfront, worn jeans, and scuffed boots was standing in the doorway under a thatch of sun-blonded hair, hands crammed in his pockets, shoulders hunched. "Mr. Schuester? I was in your Spanish One class this mornin'."

"Yeah, yeah." Mr. Schuester set the quizzes aside. "It's Joel, right?"

"Yessir. Joel Henry."

"Come in, sit. What can I do for you?"

Joel folded himself into the chair across from Mr. Schuester—quite a feat given the kid was at least as tall as Finn. He shook his head despairingly and met Mr. Schuester's gaze. "I don't know what I'm doin' in your class. I don't speak a word a Spanish. I been takin' German the past two years."

"We don't have a German program here," Mr. Schuester said carefully. "Shouldn't you be eating lunch right now?"

"I wasn't talkin' to nobody, didn't take long to eat." Joel sighed. "I'm gonna fail your class; I can't speak Spanish."

"It's an intro class, Joel."

"That I'm three months behind in! And I'm not good with languages."

"Okay." Mr. Schuester nodded. "Can you stay after school or do you have to catch a bus?"

"No, I drive."

"Great. Then right after school let's you and me go talk to Principal Figgins about moving you out of Spanish."

"Thank you, sir," Joel said. "But why couldn't we go talk to him during afternoon free period in a couple hours?"

Mr. Schuester held up his palms apologetically. "I coach the school's glee club and we meet during afternoon free period."

"Oh. Alright. Well, thank you, sir." Joel got to his feet. "Uh, before I go though, can you tell me how to get to the physics rooms? This school is a lot bigger than my old one."

~*~

After physics and history when afternoon free period came around, Joel found himself at loose ends just like he had at morning free period. So, just like that morning, he wandered the halls, trying to learn his way around. The handful of other kids not occupied with clubs, making out in corners, or smoking pot in the bathroom mercifully ignored him. He turned down another hall—the hall Mr. Schuester's office was on—and he heard music.

Oh yeah, glee club.

He lingered by the half-open door, watching as about a dozen kids danced around singing some pop song he didn't know. He recognized a few of the kids though—one of them, the kid who looked like the creepy Austrian ceramic dolls Joel's grandma collected, was definitely in his math class. The kid was hard to miss. Then there was the Latina cheerleader who'd blatantly offered him sex that morning. She scared him. And she'd noticed him. She'd stopped dancing to stare through the door at him, one eyebrow arched. Another of the girls—the short one in a cat sweater—noticed the scary Latina staring and followed her gaze. Joel gave them a pleading look and put a finger to his lips. The two girls shared a look, then resumed dancing, ignoring him.

The next morning, with his schedule fixed—home ec in place of Spanish, not great, but workable—Joel settled into his seat in the back of his first period math class. Suddenly, an argyle-clad butt perched itself on the edge of the table in front of him. He looked up to find the owner of the butt smiling down at him: creepy Austrian doll kid. "Hi, I'm Kurt Hummel."

Joel blinked. "Your last name is actually Hummel?"

Kurt frowned. "Yes, is that a problem?"

"No." Joel shook his head slowly. "The universe just has one hell of a sense a humor."

"I'm going to assume for your sake that that wasn't offensive. Anyway." Kurt leaned in, smile re-plastering itself across his rosy-cheeked face. "A little bird told me that you were spying on our glee club yesterday."

Joel gave him an unimpressed look. "Was it the sexy bird or the short one?"

"Both of them but that's beside the point." Kurt brushed away the question with a wave of his hand. "The point is, you should join."

Joel slid his math book and notebook between himself and Kurt. "I don't know, I don't really sing."

"Well, if you change your mind, we meet during free period every afternoon and on Monday mornings and after school on Thursdays. Sometimes after school on Fridays, too, but don't count on that one—it's on an as needed basis. Bring a song." Kurt's smile had turned fake. He patted Joel's shoulder and sashayed off to his own seat. Joel watched him go. He had no idea where the hell somebody would get purple argyle skinny jeans in suburban Ohio. He also had no idea why anyone would want to.

After that, class was uneventful. Trigonometry couldn't only be so exciting. Joel's next class, though, was unexpectedly awesome. It was home ec, and they'd been told to pair up to make no-bake cheesecake. A pretty blond girl in a cheerleading uniform walked right up to him, decidedly within Joel's personal space, and looked at him with intense, shiny blue eyes. "Santana told me that if I saw you I should seduce you into joining glee club so I think we should totally make cake out of cheese together." She leaned in to whisper, "What kind of cheese do you want?"

"Uh." Joel took a step back. "I already told your buddy Kurt I don't really sing." He handed her a block of cream cheese. "You really don't need to seduce me, either. Santana is the scary, sexy, Latina one, right?"

"Yeah, she's super hot."

"Well, I already told her I'm not really on the market."

"On the market for what?" The girl cocked her head to the side like a puppy.

Joel stared at her for a second then shook his head. "Nevermind. What's your name?"

"Brittany."

"I'm Joel."

Brittany's eyes widen and she whispered in awe. "You're a famous singer, we were just singing that song of yours about not being an arsonist."

Joel stared at her again. "That's Billy Joel. I'm not related to him."

"Oh...." She looked down at the cream cheese disappointedly.

He chewed his tongue briefly, then leaned toward her to confide, "But I'm a cowboy."

She immediately lit up with excitement. "A real one?"

"Mhm." He grinned.

"That's so cool."

At the end of home ec, Brittany handed Joel their cheesecake, then pulled him out of the room, ignoring his protests. She dragged him to the choir room where, despite the lack of an official club meeting, most of the club was hanging out—well, arguing.

"I think we should go caroling," the short one was saying. Her sweater had an owl today.

An Asian girl who looked like some kind of Victorian heiress who'd sold her soul to a demon butler gave the short one an incredulous look. "Do you remember how badly that went last year? We got a shoe thrown at us. By a teacher ."

"Hey, everyone," Brittany said pleasantly. "So it turns out he's not a famous singer like I thought when he said his name, but I brought the new guy and I didn't even have to seduce him." She grinned at Santana, who looked both impressed and disappointed.

"I was brought here against my will," Joel said. "But I have cheesecake if anyone wants some," he offered feebly.

"I will take some cheesecake," a curvy black girl with big heart-shaped earrings said. Joel handed her the pie pan he was holding.

"I'm glad you decided to join us," the short one said brightly, stepping forward to give him a salesman's smile. "I'm Rachel, I essentially run this—"

"I have not decided to join you," Joel said firmly. "Why are you all hounding me outta nowhere like this? I been at this school less than two days."

"We're pretty much always hoping for new members," Kurt said, lounging across two chairs next to the black girl. "You showed interest. And you're here now, so you might as well show us what you've got."

"I told you, I don't really sing." Joel shook his head and looked around the room. There was Kurt, the hip hop princess eating cheesecake, Rachel the American Girl doll, Asian vampire chick, a super nerdy kid in a wheelchair, a total of three cheerleaders, a guy with a mohawk, a guy in a sweatervest and bowtie, a blond Bieber-type, and three more dudes in letterman jackets. "Do you realize that most of you look more like cartoon characters than real people?"

Rachel huffed haughtily, Kurt and the girl next to him both frowned. The blond cheerleader who wasn't Brittany leaned on her elbows. "He's not wrong, though."

The guy in the sweatervest held his hands out and shrugged. "Yeah, pretty much everyone in this club is crazy."

"But, we're the most fun people in this whole damn school." The black girl stood up. "Look—what's your name?"

"Joel."

"Heya, Joel. I'm Mercedes. You gave me cheesecake, as far as I'm concerned that makes us friends. This is your second day here, so I figure you don't have too many friends yet."

"Not really, no." Joel admitted.

"Uh huh." Mercedes settled her weight into her hip. "And how many people not in this room have actually talked to you?"

"A guy with a jewfro shoved a microphone in my face...."

"Jacob doesn't count," sweatervest guy interjected. "He's a gossip blogger and you're the new kid, he'll harass you for a few weeks. I'm sorry. I transferred in last year, I never did find a way to avoid him entirely. Puck chasing him off is a good temporary measure though." He gestured at the guy with the mohawk.

"And," one of the letterman jacket guys said, "I don't really sing, either." He shrugged. "I used to sway in the background but now I dance."

Joel scrubbed a hand through his hair. "I'll think about it." He looked at sweatervest guy. "But you're right, you're all crazy." He walked out.

At lunch two classes later, Mercedes came up to Joel in the line. "Hey, Joel." She smiled and got a serving of tots. "You wanna sit with us?"

"Who's us?" He grabbed the least bruised apple available.

"Me, Tina, and Kurt."

"Uh," Joel hesitated.

Mercedes glared at him. "Kurt doesn't bite, you know."

"I know." Joel let out a breath and glanced over to the table where Kurt and Asian vampire chick were sitting. She must've been Tina. Joel shrugged. "I've just never met anyone like him before in my life. He's...a little overwhelming."

"I'll admit that he—and Rachel, and sometimes me and Santana—have a flare for the dramatic and it can get a little over the top." She shrugged. "Occupational hazard of showbiz."

Joel sighed.

"Who you gonna sit with if not us?"

"You got a point," Joel admitted. He followed her to the table and carefully sat between her and Tina the vampire. She and Kurt smiled at him. He nodded to them and focused on his food.

Brittany and Santana joined the table a minute later, paying zero attention to anyone else sitting there while they chit-chatted. After that, sweatervest bowtie guy came over carrying a tray. He and Kurt looked directly at each other, Kurt busied himself with his phone, and sweatervest pulled up a chair between Joel and Mercedes. Joel glanced between him and Kurt a couple times. “Well, absolutely no one can tell the two of you used to date.”

Both boys grimaced and glanced at each other.

“Is the awkward that obvious?” sweatervest guy asked.

Joel nodded and gestured between them. “There's laser beams of awkward.”

“Good God, he said what we've all been thinking,” Santana said in astonishment. “At least, I think he did. I'm only sure of every other word. Where the hell are you from, cowboy?”

“Wyoming,” Joel said flatly.

Santana blinked and tilted her head. “See, there's a problem with that: I'm pretty sure Wyoming really doesn't exist.”

Joel rolled his eyes. “I promise you it does.”

Santana shook her head. “I don't believe y—”

“Where in Wyoming?” Kurt interrupted.

Joel poked at his food. “Trust me, you've never heard of it.” He paused and took a moment to study Kurt. “But I'm gonna go way out on a limb and say you've seen Brokeback Mountain.”

Kurt nodded. “Everyone at this table has, even if only because I made them.”

Joel couldn't help but snicker. “Okay, so in Brokeback, Ennis—the blond one, Heath Ledger—and his wife live in Riverton. I'm from Crowheart, 'bout an hour northwest a Riverton.”

Everyone exchanged looks and nodded or shrugged.

“Well, I still don't think we have any idea where that is,” sweatervest guy said, “but that's a pretty good frame of reference.”

“Why did you move here in the middle of the semester?” Tina asked.

“My folks split,” Joel said quickly. “Me an' my mama an' my sister moved in with my mama's sister. Sorry, who're you?” He looked at sweatervest guy. “Never got yer name.”

“Oh, I'm sorry. I'm Blaine.”

“Pleased to meetcha.” Joel went back to eating.

~

End of chapter! Read the rest on Ao3 here.

#eiiri made this #fanfiction #glee #i still can't believe i wrote a glee fic but i did

[nick-close]

For the ship bingo thing: Nark and Oakson (or whatever Henry X Darryl is called)

Nark!!!

I have the tag blocked tbh, it’s uncomfortable to me- but I get it? I think enemies to lovers is cool, it has all the pieces to be something good- but I think that any chance of me enjoying it was lost when I started seeing it watered down to ‘hot angsty gays’, and I saw people really undermine/ignore Cassandra in a way I hated. Also, I only enjoy it as a ‘this was a past possibility that we lost when we both chose our own paths’ more than an actual ship dynamic.

Oakson!!!

This is the bread and butter of the fandom. It’s fine, just boring. I think it’s cool Darryl had a queer awakening, I think it’s cool Henry is bi, but at its best it’s two married men in a completely healthy and normal relationship- at its worst it’s villianizing Carol and ignoring Mercedes. There’s really nothing to say on this one. If you like plain fluff its good, not my thing tho.

#thank uuuuuu #I love talking ships #dndads #dungeons and daddies #dndads s2 #dndads odyssey #dndads s1 #oakson #nark #asks #ask bait

[normally-o-a-k]

Hey look a fanfiction

Scam/Jodie

Friends to lovers, multi chapter, no beta we die like Glenn, idk what to tag this I’ve never written fic before lmao, spoilers kinda? There’s some more chatting with the season one dads on the phone lmao it’s not the whole chapter don’t worry.

Rating: still Teen

Chap 6/?

(Double update today!)

Previous chapter:

Jodie couldn’t sleep at all, lying on his side, wings folded behind him, the tip of his tail repeatedly tapping the bed.

He was completely restless. Talking with Glenn had gone better than he expected, but still… his warning had made him uneasy.

Sure he liked Scam… but did he trust him?

He didn’t think he could honestly answer yes…

By morning he’d only gotten two hours of sleep, every minute of his dream spent back on the couch with Scam. He climbs out of bed, showers ,dresses and gets breakfast, knowing better than to expect Scam at the breakfast table this time, he leaves Scam’s dish on the table and heads back to his office to try and get some work done so they could go out later.

Out with his boyfriend…

Jodie buries his face in his hands. He hadn’t been out on a date in…. Over a decade at least… and Hell’s date spots were limited to say the least… with the Doodler on earth it wasn’t exactly like he could take him there… it felt just a bit fucked up to be worrying about date spots when the other daddies and the kids were off trying to find a solution in the forgotten realms…. Should he call someone and ask for advice? Glenn and Ron were really the only two that knew…

He calls Glenn again.

“What’s up?”

“Did you meet up with everyone else?”

“Yeah yeah, we’re good man. You want to check in with Nicky?”

“Yeah, can I talk to you a bit first?… is it Uh, a bit fucked up that I’m taking time to date right now when you guys are trying to save Earth?”

“Yeah a little bit but…” Glenn sighs “man, everybody deserves love, no one’s going tell you not to try for it if you think there’s a chance… besides, we’re doing fine! We’ll probably have this Doodler thing solved in a couple more months…”

“Yeah… okay… look it’s been a while since I went out… I stopped doing date nights after Nicolas turned five…what’s a good-… what do I-“

“Okay okay, here’s the move, you gotta impress him! what are you good at?”

“Paperwork, killing, maiming…” Jodie Frowns.

“So like cop shit. Damn, you really are screwed aren’t you? I’m guessing you don’t want to just bone down, you probably want that sensitive style dating…”

“It’s called taking it slow idiot… but yeah… I…absolutely have to take it slow with him….shit Glenn he’s a really good kisser, I’ve never felt so out of control in my life…”

“Gross…”

“I mean, that too…but I lost control of my flames and nearly set him on fire…”

“Well fuck, man I don’t know… maybe like set up something romantic? Chicks love candles so maybe he will too? Henry is bi, you should ask him how to romance guys…” he calls Henry over “Hey Henry, come help this idiot”

“Hey Jodie! How’s h-e-double hockey sticks? Jodie says you need help? I don’t know if I can help but I’ll give it my best shot!”

“Hey Henry, uh look I, can you keep this from the kids? I started seeing someone new… and I’m a little rusty on romance…”

“Oh Sure buddy! Mercedes and I do date night weekly, and I don’t mean to toot my own horn but I think they’re pretty darn romantic! What’s your new beau like? You know, A lot of romance is showing the person how well you know them”

“He uh, he’s clever, and he loves games… and stirring things up… he always dresses nice… his favorite movie is Hero… he smells like axe …” he smiles “he’s fun…“

“He likes games and stirring things up…and he smells like axe body spray?” Henry pieces it together pretty easily “Jodie… are you sure dating this guy is a good idea?”

“What..because of the axe? It’s not that bad, it kinda smells nice after a while…”

“No because it’s…” Henry whispers “Scam Actually?” He sighs “I know he’s mellowed out a bit, but I mean…you know what? No. you’re a grown guy, you can make your own decisions, and most of his pranks didn’t actually put any of us in real danger…I’ll support you! So …… you need ideas on how to romance him? ….Does he eat?”

“He ate yesterday? I don’t think he needs to though….? I think he might have been serious about feeding on misery”

“Well there ya go! There’s a lot of that down in Heck now isn’t there? Why not treat him to a misery buffet? He’d probably love that kind of thing!”

“Yeah I think you’re right… but is that romantic enough?”

“Probably? If you’re looking to tell how he feels about you why don’t you ask? A little emotional honesty is good for a starting relationship!”

“Henry I can’t do that!” He wasn’t ready at all for that kind of talk.

“Okay well you know, some people find that hard and that’s okay! there’s another way to get at least an Idea of what’s in his heart, it’s like that song by Cher says ‘it’s in his kiss’! So when you get to that point, you’ll probably be able to feel his emotions by how passionate it is!”

Jodie turns a brighter red “Henry I’ve kissed him twice…”

“Is it insensitive if I ask how that went? I’m sorry if it is, I’m just super curious!”

“It … was the best kiss of my life… he left me breathless twice… I can’t tell what his emotions were through a kiss like that Henry, I barely kept control of myself” He rubs his face with both his hands “it’s embarrassing….”

“With… with Scam? I mean I guess I can see that?… he’s pretty charismatic? He’s not…not good looking? How did it happen?” Henry sounded hesitant to say the least

“During truth or dare…and then once after he confessed…”

“You willingly played truth or dare with him?! Jodie is that safe? You remember last time-“

“I know but it was… it was fun Henry, I actually had a pretty good time…he didn’t make me do anything I didn’t already want to… “

“You guys are probably a better match then I thought… I wouldn’t have been brave enough to play another game of it with him that’s for sure…”

“I’m glad I did it.”

“Look Jodie, I know we said it was going to be a week, but the plan failed and we could really use him back, he’s actually a pretty good asset in fights…”

“yeah… okay” Shit, he’d been banking on having him stay the week.

“We can do without him for today, it’ll probably be fine…so maybe if you sent him back tomorrow morning?”

“Yeah…thanks Henry… can you put Nicky on the phone?”

“Yeah sure buddy… sorry for, you know..”

“It’s fine, priorities, I get it…”

He felt guilty now for wanting to spend more time with Scam. He could hear the phone getting passed off.

“Hey dad.”

“How was it? Are you alright?”

“You worry too much… I’m fine! We had to take out two giants because Henry blew our cover and then Glenn and Ron got separated from us. We should have sent you Henry to watch, he’s so bad at lying.” He laughs.

“Yeah Henry is a pretty bad liar” he smiles but then realizes that the pretty bad liar knows what’s up with him and Scam so it’s only matter of time before everyone knows.

“How’s it going with Glenn?”

“Good actually…”

“I know it’s probably a bit difficult remembering two different-“

“Dad I’m fine. We’ve talked about this I’m not you.”

“Okay…but you know if you want a break-“

“I don’t want to go stay with mom. I want to help my friends.”

“Alright Nicky.”

“How was babysitting Scam?”

It was an innocent question but Jodie felt instantly embarrassed. “Pretty good actually, we had a fun time.”

“He’s kinda fun I guess. He hasn’t messed with you?” He laughs

“No, nothing too bad, he took off for a bit and had me looking through repeating rooms for an hour or so last night but that’s about the worst of it”

“Weird….hey uh It looks like Ron’s about to fill us in on last night so I gotta go… see you Dad.”

“Love you, stay safe.”

The phone clicks and Jodie puts it back down on his desk, he leans back in his chair and closes his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. Shit, there goes his week… and it didn’t sound like Nicky and Glenn were coming back any time soon either.

He felt so guilty for wishing Scam could just stay…At least they had today…

He leaves his office and heads down the hall to look for Scam.

———

Scam had admittedly taken some things for granted. One of them had been the (apparently inaccurate) freedom to roam Jodie’s castle. He’d decided to take a walk after Jodie said Goodnight to relax, and said walk had led him past some really interesting looking doors, Interesting enough that stopping infront of them got him chased out of the hallway by guards.

Which is exactly when he’d got it in his head that breaking and entering was probably a great way to blow off steam. Jodie had forbidden him from using magic with his dare and he wasn’t going to break the rules of a game so he’d have to do it the old fashioned way.

By the look of the absolutely massive golden doors this was probably the treasury, which meant it wasn’t going to be easy to get in and out unnoticed. This also meant it had the potential to be very very fun.

He waits around the corner taking inventory of what he had on hand. He couldn’t change himself or summon other items without magic so this was a rather serious test of skill for him. He’d have to thank Jodie for such a fun evening in the morning.

He hums to himself, pulling on some fingerless gloves, fashion was the first step in any plan after all. He laments the fact that he’d have to stay in his burnt suit for this but there was no getting around it without magic, his entire wardrobe was tied up in glamor magic so he was sure it would definitely count as a spell if he used it. He reaches into his pouch and tosses a vial of alchemical sleep gas around the corner at the guards, waiting for a moment for it to kick in.

Once he heard the telltale thump of both guards hitting the floor he rounds the corner and pulls out thieves tools, getting to work on the lock, popping it easily. Feeling emboldened by how easy this was so far, he decides to add a bit of flourish to his ‘just go in and out’ plan, maybe he’d just take a single thing and give it back to Jodie in the morning as a souvenir of his little caper. He hops over a few obvious traps and heads straight for a crown set on a pedestal in the center of the room. Perfection! He could just imagine the look on Jodie’s face when he drops his treasured crown into his lap, he’d have to be impressed! His grin widens and he grabs the crown.

Which didn’t feel like a crown at all. Instead the metal instantly liquified, fusing to the pedestal and trapping Scams hand between the two.

“Uh oh~ This isn’t a very good look~”, recognizing that he was effectively trapped there, he just poses for the drama of it. It took less than a few seconds for a dozen or so guards to find him like that.

It didn’t quite hit Scam how much trouble he was actually in until His magic did not work when dawn hit. Unable to just teleport out of the cell they’d put him in, panic starts to set in, though he’d never show it on the surface. The dungeon was probably packed to the brim with magic cancelling items. “Hey Mr. Guard?~ yoo hoo, I need a little help over here~ you see this bar is a little loose, and if I were to move it I could just slip out~ and you wouldn’t want that would you?”

He waits for the guard to get close and keeps him distracted with the ‘not actually loose’ iron bar while he uses his tail to carefully remove the keys from the guards belt. He needed to get out of here and fast.

“I should have expected something like this.” Jodie descends the stone steps opposite Scam’s cell and frowns, looking exhausted and hurt.

Scam tenses, dropping the keys. He needed to play this off, so he backs away from the guard and leans against the bars, he laughs, trying to look sexy and unaffected by his own predicament. “fancy meeting you here~ do you come here often?”

It wasn’t working. Jodie’s frown deepens “I thought you didn’t care about money”

“Oh not at all, it’s pointless for someone like me~” He grins and reaches through the bars reaching for Jodie’s hand “you know me so well~ I knew you wouldn’t misunder-“

“Then why did you try and rob me last night? They literally caught you red handed…” Jodie pulls his hand away.

“Well Actually, They literally caught me Gold handed! I only broke in to see if I could and , what do you know, I was able to get in without any magic at all! Out not so much~ if I had been a bit less eager to surprise you it would have been fine~ It was all just a game! ” he was starting to get nervous now… Jodie was supposed to understand…

Jodie’s expression wasn’t softening. “How much of it was a game?”

“If I told you it was just the teensy bit of B&E would you even believe me?~ I think you have some wrong ideas about what I’d joke about~ you wound me Jodie!” He clasps his hands over his chest “How can I prove to you that you can trust little old Me~?”

“You’re in a cell Scam. I think it’s pretty clear I can’t.” Jodie sighs and turns to a guard. “Let him go. He’s leaving anyway.”

Scam’s expression drops “I thought we had a date planned?”

“Look around you Scam. Really take it in and ask yourself why you think that would possibly still happen?”

“You wouldn’t have been mad if I had pulled it off~ you would have even found it charming!” He steps around the guard who unlocked his cell, moving towards Jodie.

“Maybe, but How am I supposed to trust that you’re even telling me the truth about your plan?” Jodie still frowns but his expression does soften a bit. He stops making eye contact, focusing on the far wall instead of Scam’s visibly disappointed face. “Look, just…go okay?…they’re done with being undercover…and the date is off…so there’s no reason for you to hang around.” He opens a portal for Scam.

“I see.” He doesn’t try to defend himself any further, he steps through the portal and heads back to the Daddies.

#darn I really liked writing Henry’s dialogue. he’s my fave season one dad #dungeons and daddies #dndads #dnd dads #dndads s2 #dndads spoilers #dnddads #scam actually #scam likely #dndads season 2 #jodie foster #dndads fanfic #dungeons and daddies fan fiction #jodie/scam #scam/jodie #scamster #scodie #jodie x scam #scam x jodie #dndads tax evasion

[reallyintoscience]

Ten books to know me

Rules: 10 (non-ancient) books for people to get to know you better, or that you just really like.

I was tagged by @mathomhouse-e probably about fifteen internet years ago now. But here we are and thank you!

Who knows what "non-ancient" even means, so here's some books that feel important to me and the way I think about the world.

The Wood Wife by Terri Windling This is THE book to know me. It's about art, creation, what it's like to be a creator of art and poetry and it's also the most beautiful invocation of a supernatural world embedded in a real landscape. It made me love the desert. It has a wonderful trickster character, and found family, and stepping into your power as a creator.

Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson If you ask me, this is the foundational cyberpunk novel (I don't get on with Neuromancer). It changed the way I thought about writing, technology and transhumanism and it's so funny. It brings in memes in their original meaning, mythology and cyberpunk. One of the main characters is called Hiro Protagonist. It doesn't devolve into obligatory romance. (Fine and great in its place, but not when it's there in spite of the plot.) I have never liked anything else Stephenson has ever written, but THIS. This is wonderful.

The Last Herald-Mage by Mercedes Lackey Cheating: it's a trilogy. Formative Sad Gay Angst Wizards. This was such a revelation to read in the 90s, as a baby bi. A gay protagonist, actually on-page, not just subtext. Coming out and dealing with homophobia, having sex. Gay protagonist. ALSO the melodrama oh my god Vanyel. I really don't know who'd come out top in a drama-off, him or Dream. But also, Van's struggle with isolating himself to protect his feelings, and let's not forget the cool powers and the magic soulbonding horses. FORMATIVE.

A Land Fit for Heroes by Richard K. Morgan Cheating: it's a trilogy. Matured killer gay wizard-rogue. RINGIL ESKIATH OWNS MY SOUL. He wouldn't want it but too bad. He is my perfect character. He has a bloodthirsty, talking magic sword. It's probably trying to eat his soul. He has a Very Straight warrior best friend and together they have a Very Lesbian crack-addicted elf best friend. They are horrible bastards, and Ringil fucks so much and in all contexts. And the mythology is super cool. Also the politics. This is just perfect for me. (It has so so many content warnings; feel free to hit me up if you're thinking of trying it out.)

The Belgariad by David Eddings Cheating: it's a quintet. Two quintets, if you want to add in the Malloreon. I'm not sure I could go back to it now because the tropes have worn out so much and the gender politics are terrible, but I have read it so many times. This was my first high fantasy epic quest series, and the characters are so dear to me. The way that magic words in this world is refreshingly simple, and I can respect that.

Generation Loss / Cass Neary Series by Elizabeth Hand This is. So fucking good. Cass is The Last Punk Standing, an artist in a fine art street photographer sense, a nihilistic, substance abusing wonderful disaster. This series is part mystery, part grimy supernatural, part literary. It uses Cass's art skills to get her into and out of her problems. It embeds subcultures, eras and the supernatural or just the unsettling so well into the story that it doesn't really feel like an urban fantasy. Again, a lot of content warnings.

The Wicked + The Divine by Kieron Gillen and Jamie McKelvie Thiiiiiis graphic novel might still be cheating because there are ten trade books but whatever. It's everything I want a graphic novel to be and the art is fucking gorgeous. It has fandom, music, transformation, gods and monsters and it's just so so fucking cool. What if, every ninety years, twelve humans become gods from existing but not matching pantheons. The deal is they are loved and hated, they're famous for two years, and then they die. It is fantastic.

Machineries of Empire by Yoon Ha Lee Cheating... look I cheat. Whatevs. It's a series. Beautiful twisty space scifi built on a somewhat impenetrable system of math and torture to create the most interesting magic system you ever did see. (You do need a high tolerance for being thrown in the worldbuilding deep end; there will be no infodumps.) There's such wonderful politics and assassins and the best, best Magnificent Bastard ever written, and bodysharing and loyalty and an on-page uniform kink that has to be seen to be believed. It is a wonder and a glory.

Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke One of these things is not the like others, but this book is so important to me. The tenderness, the deep thinking about what it means to be a creator. I have it in multiple bindings because whenever I come across it I can't resist.

Close to the Knives: A Memoir of Disintegration by David Wojnarowicz Also a bit of a departure, but Wojnarowicz is so important to me. His art, his activism, but most of all the way he made journaling part of his arts practice. The queer history here, the utter bullshit genocide of the queer community in the 80s and 90s. But the love and the joy as well. His fierce criticism of the culture he lived in. Just. He's my art hero.

The almost made it but I've run out of space: Watership Down by Richard Adams and The Administration series by Manna Francis.

Um, I don't know who did this at the time and who didn't, but if you didn't and you'd like to: @issylra, @beholdme, @ml-nolan, @4ratsinatrenchcoat, @beholdingthegaytimes

#books and reading #tag games #long post

[yesterdayiwrote]

I don't think it's semantics. That's like saying anyone who has a pre-nup doesn't really want to get married. Lewis is loyal to Mercedes as it is now, but by its very nature as a business, it could change to something very different in the change of a few key personnel.

But I think we are all getting ahead of ourselves too. The contract Lewis signed in 2018 was only a two year one. He signed a 1 year contract at the start of 2021, and then another 2 year one less than 6 months later. Hell, his original contract was only three years, then extended to another 3 years in 2015. There is no history of long contracts between him and Mercedes which would make this one out of the usual.

I think you’re confusing ‘not committing long term’ with me making a comment on his loyalty. I’ve never questioned if he’s loyal to Mercedes’ or not, I’m literally just saying ‘he’s not signing a long term contract, he’s signing a short term one’. Toto wants them to get married for the rest of their lives, Lewis just wants to stick to bi-annual commitment ceremonies. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[tthankstoyou]

idk if you've done this before but if not what are your sexuality headcannons for all the OG new directions (like seasons 1-2)

HI JAKE SRRY FOR TAKING SO LONG TO GET TO THIS! I don't think I've ever posted all of them, ty for the ask : D

Kurt - gay (not a headcanon but I physically cannot erase ay characters canon sexualities)

Rachel - bi (but im not bad at lesbian!Rachel head canons!)

Tina - pan (i want her to date anyone and everyone LMAO)

Mercedes - pan (same as tina, give her all the partners in the world. she deserves it)

Artie - bi

Sam - bi (my fav bisexual man. I would die for him omg)

Finn - straight (unpopular opinion but I kind of refuse to headcanon him as queer bc of his reactions to kurt & Santana's gayness. like glee already gave us one homophobic bully turned gay, I dont think we need two 😭)

Puck - bi

Mike - bi

Matt - gay (for the funnies <3)

Quinn - lesbian (and I will be taking no other suggestions 🤨)

Santana - lesbian (same reasoning as kurt. she is not bi and she never will be. fight me on it)

Brittany - bi (once again, it's already canon and I will not be changing it)

#asks #jake