#and what hit me really hard is when she was doing the classic gaslighting bit. and his memory was manipulated | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wh6res · 3 years

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UP IN SMOKES — DOYOUNG

psych student! kdy | tw. college au, violence, a knife, GASLIGHTING, hallucination, psychosis, swearing, just pure manipulation, minor charac death, there's a court scene, this is a repost! | wc. 10k she a beast

life could’ve been simple;

you shouldn't have met kim doyoung.

what does a freshman in college hate the most other than the high-stress levels of moving into a new dorm? a shitty roomie and a smelly, moldy mattress. the girl you call roommate refuses to help move the mattress because it will ruin her new manicure. what a fucking classic.

"sounds like a 'you' problem. figure it out yourself, plain jane."

she said before heading out, annoyingly popping her bubblegum as she kicks a few of your scattered boxes by the front door. you roll your eyes; classes haven't even started yet, so why is she already making your life miserable? as much as you'd like to snap at her, you don't, merely glaring daggers at her back as she finally turns the corner of the hallway and disappears.

"bitch," you mutter under your breath.

you eye the abomination that is supposed to be your bed, cursing how you shouldn't have made a 15-minute pit stop to starbucks for a drink when you could've just bought one from the instant coffee vending machines in every corner of the hallway of this dorm building because if you didn't, maybe you could've beaten regina george wannabe from taking the better bed. sighing, you suck it up and start getting to work. life's full of shit, anyway; no point sulking.

moving a moldy mattress is easier than you thought, to say the least. you can't ask for help from the other freshmen you bumped into in the hallway because they, too, are under a huge amount of stress from the move and are busy getting their affairs in order. it was a good thing, though, that a committee was formed specifically for this day to help out the freshmen if they were to stumble upon problems or mishaps with moving in. they were all around the campus, and they prove to be way friendlier than your batch mates. since this morning, three people have already offered help in carrying your luggage — which you have politely declined.

"hey, uhm… is this the stall for the welcoming committee? oh, wait. i'm sorry, there's a sign right there —"ugh.

you mentally shut your eyes in humiliation. why do you have to be this bad, this awkward at communicating with strangers? why couldn't you be born like all those socialites who already (probably) got their contacts filled with new numbers on the first day of school or something?

"yeah, this is them — welcoming committee, i mean. how can i help you?" he smiles, sweet, radiating the epitome boy next door aura as he looks up at you from where he's sitting behind the stall. your eyes quickly land onto the name tag stuck on his varsity jacket before meeting his eyes again.

"i have an issue with my mattress. it has mold, you see..." your voice slowly trails, becoming quieter as you feel small under the weight of his piercing stare. oh, come on. he's just a guy with a beautiful face, woman the fuck up.

"really? let me see..."

he needn't finish rounding the stall when his nose is hit by the pungent smell brought forth by your mattress. frankly, you weren't that picky. you could've covered it with bedsheets and call it a day, but the odor is too strong to ignore. you mentally hope the smell didn't latch onto your clothes, especially not when someone so cute is around — what a bad first impression.

"oh, god!" he exclaims the moment he lays eyes on it, taking a step back. “now, that has to go. and you lugged it from the fourth floor?"

ah, yes. according to tradition in these dormitories, which you've only found out today, freshmen get the curse of climbing four flights of stairs up while the seniors strut into their rooms on the ground floor like the hallway is a goddamned runway.

"doyoung! help me carry these!"

someone calls his name as you both turn your head to spot a chestnut-haired girl clad in the same varsity jacket he's wearing. you grimace at the sight of her. for someone so small, she just had to volunteer to carry all those heavy bags. however, he doesn't move in front of you and brushes her off as if she doesn't look like she's carrying rocks over her shoulders. "i'm already helping someone else! go find taeyong or something. i'm sure that shit's loitering around here somewhere!"

"oh, it's okay, you can go help her. i'll just look for someone else —"

"nah, it's fine!" you try hard to school your face into indifference when you notice his gummy smile. "plus… trust me when i say no other person from the committee will help you with this. this shit smells like my roommate's sweaty basketball socks!"

you can't help the smile forming on your face as you help him carry the mattress off to the side of the hallway, the stinky thing leaning vertically against the wall and behind a huge terracotta plant pot. "don't worry, let's report it to student affairs so they'll get you a new one. congrats! you'll have to share beds with your new roommate tonight, freshie. it'd be a great ice breaker."

the universe truly hates you.

your expression must've been a dead give away because he's suddenly patting your shoulder, regarding you with utmost sympathy. "been there, done that. i hated taeyong, too, when i met him last year. still, for some mind fuck of a miracle, we've grown to be friends and developed a talent of not wanting to kill each other every two seconds."

"highly doubt i'd be friends with a regina george-level bitch, but thanks, anyway," you mutter under your breath. suddenly, you whip your head towards him after internalizing what he just said. "you met your roommate last year? you're a sophomore?"

he scoffs, leaning down to your height to lowly mutter against your ear as he eyes the lobby's front desk. "why? do i look like some 4th year who radiates 'don't touch me' energy?"

you feel the heat on your cheeks with how close he is, only releasing an exhale when he finally gets out of your personal space. "i'm kim doyoung. you've heard it from wendy earlier, but anyway — i'm a 2nd-year psych major."

"no way!" you exclaim, a little too excited. "i'm taking psych, too!"

"oh, you are? well, if you need anything or if you don't understand stuff…" he winks. "feel free to approach me anytime."

hmm… how sweet of him.

it was only hours later that you found out who kim doyoung is in your department during the acquaintance party. and for god's sake, you found out from your best friend who is a major in english lit and has never even seen the guy. "seriously, you didn't know he's a genius? i hear the professors call him a prodigy, girl! a fucking prodigy. if i were you, i'd ask for his help in every subject."

"you know i prefer keeping to myself. how'd i know stuff like that when i have no one to talk to in the psych dorms?" you look down, making the ice cubes in your drink clink against each other. "i didn't think he was this big shot or whatever. he looks normal, and everyone treats him normally."

"well, what do you expect?" she hisses, hitting your arm. "the other students don't want to make him feel alienated or something just because he's tons smarter than them. but anyway… the real question is…"

you roll your eyes when she pauses for effect, tentatively leaning closer to whisper under her breath.

"is he cute?"

you didn't want to answer her question, but he's been stuck in your head since he offered walking with you to the student affairs office. doyoung had smiled his cute gummy smile and had even ruffled your hair before leaving you for committee duties — saying he's cute would be an understatement.

"you have no idea."

for his first act;

he gains your trust.

fast forward to one year, many things have changed, but the only constant remaining is the handsome sophomore — who is now a 3rd-year, by the way — whom you've met on your first day. coursework has been pretty tough this year. instead of the content written in your textbook, your mind is plagued by the horrible twist of fate your best friend had encountered; she didn't have enemies. or so you thought.

she disappeared in the middle of christmas break last year. her beaten up body was found only a month later, in january, floating around the university's lake. happy fucking new year.

the first time she chose to spend the holidays with you instead of her family back in her hometown, and that happens? some rotten luck you both have. it's why you didn't put it past her family to hate your guts with strong convictions. it's okay. the feeling's mutual. after all, it had been your best friends' own family, the same ones who had been so willing to take you in when you got kicked out, that were so eager to pin you as the murderer of their child. all under the argument that you have been the last person seen with her.

oh, the things her mom said about you when she had stormed into the police station, red in the face, tears streaming down her cheeks..."i warned my baby not to hang out with that — that bitch. came straight out of a cursed family, that one. abusive dad, a nutjob mom. that bitch is a danger! probably got her dad's nasty temper and beat my baby to death! i want her on the electric chair!"

in those times, you once again realize this world is fucked up and cruel in every bit of its glory as you fought tooth and nail to defend yourself. but even then, they never believed you — the law will only favor the rich . the prosecution had been so sure it was you until a certain witness appeared and presented himself before the jury.

"do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?"

doyoung raises his right hand, fixing his stare straight at the judge. "i solemnly and sincerely declare that the evidence i shall give will be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth."

"how long have you known the defendant?" the prosecutor asks, arms crossed in front of her chest as she paces in front of the witness stand.

the boy briefly meets your gaze, and it's enough to make his heart sink. doyoung can't bear seeing you in those grey overalls when he knows it himself. you're being accused of a crime you didn't commit. "i've known her for one year."

"how'd you meet?"

and the questions went on and on; your defense attorney isn't all too keen on winning the case and had never once yelled "objection!" in her seat, but what could you expect? all the evidence kept stacking against you, and some of those you knew were even fabricated. you've never felt this hopeless in your whole twenty years of living.

"what's the point in this, anyway?" doyoung snapped in the witness stand, fiercely glaring at the prosecutor. "how is my history — or lack thereof — with the defendant any relevant to the case? you're not even asking me about evidence nor what my statement is!"

"easy there," the prosecutor retaliates, jaw locked. "i have to first measure what exactly your relationship is with the defendant for us to think twice about your statement. who knows..." the prosecutor makes a grand gesture of turning her head in your direction, affixing you with a condescending stare. "she might've just hired you to say these things."

your attorney doesn't come to your aid.

"perjury isn't my thing."

the prosecutor seems to have taken offense by the tone of doyoung's voice, but he doesn't let her speak further. "the victim isn't all sunshine and rainbows, you know. she'd been a part of a sorority and one with quite a nasty reputation in the college, too. i have to say she made very poor decisions, ones i'm sure her family didn't even know about. you see, they take their oaths and pledges very seriously. the victim wanted out. they didn't like that."

"and you have evidence to support this claim?"

without a moment to waste, he digs around the front pocket of his jeans before proudly presenting a black usb between his slender fingers. "knock yourself out."

the professor calls your name, snapping you out of your reverie. this isn't the first time your mind had transported you back to that particular day in the courtroom, where doyoung had swooped in and saved you from a lifetime in prison. the whole ordeal had been so scary, so frightening that you remember everything vividly as if it had only happened yesterday.

the classroom is empty. even your social psych professor has long packed up his stuff and is already standing by the classroom door. damn. were you that out of it?

"i'm so sorry." you mutter under your breath monotonously as you walk past him and out the door without another word. this is bad, very bad. no one would help, much less lend their notes to someone charged with murder — especially of their very own best friend. whether you were innocent or not doesn't matter to the student body. you've been ostracized, gossips of your problematic family spreading like wildfire, and the ridiculous part is only a fourth of the gossips are true.

the damage is done.

at this point, you realize with a heavy heart that you have to face doyoung again sooner or later. you haven't talked to him at all since the start of the new school year, ignoring his lighthearted greetings in the hallways, rejecting his calls, ghosting his texts. you are afraid people would judge him harshly for hanging around you. frankly, you were embarrassed to ask any more favors from him with how much he's done for you already and the fact that he had seen you in such a state of vulnerability.

but you also didn't want to fail your subjects and lose the one thing holding your life together — your scholarship.

that is why you found yourself standing before him, in his favorite spot in the library tucked behind shelves upon shelves of books, next to the windows overlooking the empty football field. he's wearing black-rimmed glasses and is clad in the usual navy blue sweater as his head turns to and fro between a textbook and his notebook. the air had been so silent, you hear the aggressive scratches his pencil makes against the paper.

you feel a little hurt when he makes no move to acknowledge your presence, but you think back to what you have been doing and figured he has a right to act this way.

"hey, doyoung." your voice is meek, hesitant.

"if you're not here to explain nor give me an acceptable reason why you've been ignoring me for the last few months, then please get out of my sight. i'm busy, as you can tell." he is brutally honest, knocking down the remaining hope you have left of ever reconciling with him.

something within you snaps, the steady streams of tears running down your cheeks as you pinned your stare on doyoung's open pencil case lying on the table. you have nobody left. your family — father, specifically speaking — has disowned you for taking a course your heart wanted, and the one friend you have lies motionless in a white coffin buried six feet under the ground. you didn't want to lose doyoung, too, no matter what role he plays in your life.

"i'm sorry," your voice cracks. "life's been… fucking shitty, and i'm sure you of all people know what i've been through. i've thanked you before for — for what you did, and i'm thanking you again right now but — i'm sorry, i'm really —"

your voice cracks when you feel him pulling you into an embrace. you feel the tension in your body breaking loose as you crumble in his arms. all those months grieving and wallowing in self-pity took such a heavy toll that you can't help but tightly clutch the sides of his hoodie, scared he'll slip through your fingers.

one of his hands comes up to push your face against the crook of his neck, muffling your cries in the silent library. doyoung felt like a jerk for snapping at you the way he did. how inconsiderate can he be? however, he felt elated because you sought him out yourself and wanted his help of all people.

his eyebrow raises in amusement.

well, not that you have a choice, anyway.

it took you a few good minutes to calm down, cringing when you see the wet patch on doyoung's sweater because of your tears.

"why don't you tell me everything, hmm? i'll help you as much as i can."

you sheepishly look down, fiddling with your fingers as you sit across him, the open textbook and notebook before him long forgotten. "well, i've been so out of it lately? my mind's just a whole bloody mess and i can't focus on any of my subjects at all and if i can't, then i'll lose the scholarship and it's the only thing i have in my life right now —"

"hey," doyoung cuts you off, placing a warm hand against your forearm to calm you down. "you won't lose that scholarship. trust me, okay? why don't we arrange tutoring sessions and i'll even lend you some of my notes from last year. what do you think?"

"okay... thank you, doyoung."

"for the record, you have me in your life, too. i'll always be here for you."

in the first session, you woke up from your deep slumber with only 15 minutes to spare from the scheduled time, but thankfully, your tutor only lives one floor down with the rest of the 3rd-years. bringing nothing with you but a pen and a pad of paper, your textbooks were destroyed as some students from your batch thought it'd be fun to throw them into the lake to "honor" your friend.

you offer a small smile when taeyong opens the door, sporting an oversized shirt and track pants, eyes wide in shock when he sees you. "hi? can i help you?"

"hello! i'm here for doyoung. he's tutoring —"

"he doesn't live here anymore. his mom bought him a place outside the campus."

what?

"i'm sorry for disturbing you, then. do you by any chance know where he lives?"

that's weird. doyoung never mentioned he's already moved out. you feel a wee bit irritated that he forgot to tell you; it would've saved you the embarrassment of interacting with the varsity player. you weren't stupid, you can see the hints of repulsion in taeyong's eyes the moment he opened that door and saw you standing before him, no doubt thinking about: oh, look, it's the crazy murderer with a fucked up family standing in front of me.

he had shut the door in your face. you stood awkwardly for a good minute in the hallway until the door reopens, taeyong handing you a small piece of paper with doyoung's new address scribbled hurriedly in black ink. he doesn't give you a chance to thank him for he's already closed the door again without another word.

you opted walking to his place instead of catching a ride because the money you have on you is enough to buy yourself dinner. to say the least, the apartment building is mediocre, not too grand, nor is it too rundown. double-checking the floor level written on the paper before pushing the elevator's button, you then realize doyoung lives on the very top floor of the building.

the hallways are painted a boring brown. some acrylic number signs plastered on the doors are broken, hanging vertically with one screw left. it says on the paper he resides in room 720. taking the right hallway, you mentally count as you eye the mahogany doors. 718… 719… there it is!

when you raise a fist to start knocking on his door, there is a tinge of hesitation surging through you. perhaps being alone with a boy in his apartment is not the best setting for a girl like you should end up in, but this is doyoung we're talking about. if he had ill intentions for you, it would've manifested a long time ago. you shake your head, feeling bad for thinking of him that way as you slowly knock on his front door. not long after, it swings open, revealing the 3rd-year in a white shirt and boxers as he lazily dries his hair off with a small towel.

"you're late," is the first thing he says to you before spinning on his heel to disappear further into his humble abode.

"you didn't exactly inform me you've moved out of the dorms. so, whose fault is it?" you retaliate, inviting yourself in and closing the front door shut.

"whatever. let's get started!" he plops himself on the floor, coffee table filled with loose papers as he struggles to find a specific one amongst the mess. "i've already scanned, exported to pdf, and emailed you my notes. it should be in your inbox by now. anyway, answer this quiz i made so i know what i'll be working on."

"you didn't really have to send your notes, doyoung. i could've just read everything from the textbook," you sit down across from him because otherwise, you'll be too distracted to remember information.

a thought crosses his mind. with what textbook?

"i just think it's missing some essence. that's why i love reading over other psych books in the library for fun. be grateful, those notes are like my babies and i don't simply give them to anyone," he looks at you pointedly. "they've all been summarized and explained in layman's terms so you wouldn't have to spend grueling hours of reading and trying to make sense of the big words as i did — i know that's not the definition of 'fun' normally, but it is for me, and that's why i do it."

"okay, doyoung. you sound so defensive when there's nothing to be defensive about," you tease, feeling pleased with the hint of red on his cheeks as he averts his gaze from yours, muttering incoherent words under his breath.

you spent the following tuesdays, thursdays, and sundays like that; hours upon hours with no one but your tutor, laptops with tangled chargers, a printed copy of his babies, and a mountain pile of loose papers filled with the specialized quizzes doyoung makes to measure your progress. the location varies from a cafe or his flat. but in what you've gathered from the time you spent with him, doyoung's a homebody. cafe tutor sessions are rare, and he always complained about how "noisy" the atmosphere was — "i can't stand it."

but the conversation hadn't always been about academics.

sure, for the first few sessions, doyoung kept an image of professionalism and had heavily insisted on it — "it's for your learning experience!" — despite your lighthearted teasing. but as time passed and he eventually grew more comfortable in your presence, you find the strict 15-minute break he had initially imposed between 45 minutes of studying turned into hours of talking about whatever; how he likes his eggs in the morning, your favorite coffee brew, his favorite show, your strongest pet peeve.

and you wholly welcomed the change, not minding that it's practically dark out whenever you go back to your miserable dorm. you feel butterflies in your stomach whenever doyoung offers to walk you home but never had you taken his offer, still cautious of other people seeing you both together despite his constant reassurances. you've already thoroughly ruined your image. you didn't want to ruin his, too.

kdy the cute tutor, 2:14 pm —last day of midterms! & its all majors today —good luck —remember what i taught u —lets get ice cream after u cant say no

you shake your head bemusedly. his texting style is the most doyoung thing he does and it's as if you can hear him say these things to you in real life. too caught up in your own world, you fail to detect another student sitting next to you and had nearly fallen off your chair in shock when they spoke.

"why are your notes like that?"

you fight the urge to glare at the person, especially when you turn your head and see lee jeno looking at you in genuine curiosity. he's the only batchmate that treats you a wee bit nicer among the rest. although he isn't technically your friend, at least he doesn't look at you like you're a piece of bubblegum stuck under his shoe like all the others.

"what do you mean?"

"they're… the definitions are all jumbled up. where did you even get that?"

what? jumbled up? doyoung himself said these notes are a combination of most of the psychology books he had read last year concerning his subjects. how would it be jumbled up? then again, lee jeno was not tutored by the prodigy himself. maybe things are bound to seem "jumbled up" when information is too great to understand for a feeble mind.

just as you were about to claim these notes aren't yours, the professor has already waltzed into the classroom with a thick wad of papers — the exams. after one last concerned glance directed your way, jeno averts his gaze with a confused tilt of the head.

hours later, you walk out of the classroom with the biggest smile on your face. aced it, you thought. your hands feel numb with how much you wrote on the essay portion but it's worth it if it meant you get the full 25 points, which you no doubt will as it was a topic you surely tackled with doyoung. speaking of... he sure is a man of his word.

"what are you doing here?" you hiss, head ducked with hair framing your face as to not draw attention from the rest of the students filing out of the testing hall.

"i texted you that we're getting ice cream. remember?"

"i did. but i didn't remember agreeing."

he shoots you a comforting smile, planting his hands firmly on your shoulder. “i told you, y/n. i don't care if they all see us together, so what? we all know you didn't commit that crime and it wasn't your fault you were born into the family you had. i don't care about the trivial things, baby, so don't shy away from me, okay?"

how the fuck can you say 'no' when he's looking at you the way he is as he brushed a loose strand of hair behind your ear? doyoung's just so bewitching that he has you wrapped around his slender fingers. he seems pleased when you stumbled over your words as you come up with a reply, caught off guard by his bold gestures.

"i just — you, uhh — fine..." you gave in, rolling your eyes out of pretense.

he just had to call you 'baby' and erupt the butterflies in your stomach.

it had been doing that for the last few months now and it had only truly manifested today when he took you out for ice cream to celebrate the end of hell week. and since you didn't want to go back to your dorm yet, you asked if you guys can watch some movies in his house but it had simply become background noise to your heart-to-heart talks. and what better accompaniment than the classic, chicken and beer?

you listen to him drone on and on about the little realizations he had on some of his past lectures even when you barely understood anything he's saying. doyoung's so lucky to be extremely good at something he's so passionate about, talks about the human mind and the complexity of a person's behavior will never fail to make his eyes light up in interest.

he calls out your name.

your eyes snap open.

"why don't we get you home? it's past 10 and it's alright, stupid, you don't need to pretend to be interested in my psychological findings." he chuckled light-heartedly, stealing the can of the now room-temperature beer from your hands before you can protest.

"i wasn't dozing off, i swear."

"i caught you in the act. stop lying."

like all the other times he has you as his guest, doyoung once again offers to walk you home and you decline for the thousandth time. it really isn't that much of a long walk anyway. you don't see the need for him to go out of his way to secure your safety. plus, you were the one who insisted on hanging out in his house anyway. you weren't that thick-skinned to let him take you home, too.

"you're drunk!" he scolds.

“no, i’m not. i can perfectly handle myself."

"but —"

"bye!"

you feel a little guilty for shutting the door in his face. still, a minute longer of his persistence and you would've taken his offer. unfortunately for doyoung, you are one stubborn girl. only if you don't make brisk movements with your head, then you won't see doubles. you'll be fine, it's just a quick walk and it's not as if you're stupid enough to pass by deserted alleys.

but you had underestimated the divine prowess of your fucked up fate.

everything happened in a matter of three seconds; one, the blinding headlights illuminate your path from behind; two, you hear the loud honk, and as you turn around — three, the vehicle sends you rolling against the asphalt.

you should have taken the alleyways.

for his second act;

he alters your reality.

when you open your eyes, you thought you were dead and your spirit is wandering elsewhere — because you don't believe in trivial things like heaven and god — until an agitated doyoung comes into view. for a split second, you thought, is he dead, too?

"i'm not dead, you idiot." too dazed, you hardly register his anger. "i can perfectly handle myself, she said. i'm not drunk, she said. this wouldn't have happened if you had simply let me walk you home! you're damn fucking lucky you're alive and breathing right now!"

a person clears their throat.

"i don't think it wise to… nag at the patient the moment she wakes. don't you agree, sir?"

pink splotches on doyoung's cheek as he looks down, embarrassed at getting scolded as he stands closer to your bed. "i'm sorry, doc."

you didn't know when your vision cleared or when you started hearing normally again, but it was enough to find out what exactly had transpired on the very night of your tragic accident. a hit and run. fifty-fifty chance of surviving. doyoung getting a call from the hospital in the middle of the night —"they were trying to contact your dad, but he wasn't answering. i was the last person in your call history."

six months in a coma. but today, you wake… only to find out your world has crashed and burned.

"what do you mean i lost my scholarship?"

"baby, listen to me —"

"why did they take it away? is it because of my accident? i'm behind by one term only and i swear i can catch up. they need to let me back in the program. there must've been some mistake —"

"your gpa didn't reach the cut-off grade."

that can't be possible.

"but you tutored me!" you claim with conviction, pointing an accusatory finger at him until you groan, bowing in pain as you clutch your head.

doyoung springs into action. the chair's legs screech against the tiles as he jumps to your aid, ushering you gently back against the hospital bed despite your refusal. "you're not well. lay back down, please."

you don't hear a single word he says, not when you had lost something so crucial. "i put in the effort and learned everything you taught me... i aced those fucking mid-terms! i know i did!" you were on the brink of tearing up as doyoung settled himself in front of you.

"i… i actually saw your papers," his lips set in a thin, hard-line. "everything was all wrong, sweetheart. what happened to you? i tried reasoning with the professors, mentioned your state — you know, with your best friend dying — but they didn't relent. i'm sorry y/n. i'm so —"

gone. everything is gone. the money. the dorm. what if they ask you to pay the fees from last year? what if they ask you to pay the tuition fee for this year? you have no money, no family, no relatives. no one to help. who's even going to pay for the hospital fees?

you weren't able to process anything after that. not with the sudden news of your now revoked scholarship. doyoung pulls you in a tight hug. "i was a bad tutor," he says, snapping you out of it. "maybe i shouldn't have pushed you that hard to learn them. why were your answers even mixed up y/n? i thought you knew those topics already…"

he pulls away, observing your confused state as your eyes dart everywhere in the room. "what — how are they mixed up? i know i got them right. there has to be some mistake. you taught me those topics, remember?"

"i did... "he averts his gaze. "but i don't remember teaching them to you mixed up, darling. i think you did that all on your own."

"but… why would i mix up my answers? that's —"

"see, what i mean?" he cuts you off, raising a hand to give your cheek the most delicate caress. "you're not well, baby. you need to be treated, especially with how much you hit your head during the accident. don't worry, i'm here. we'll try asking if you can stay in the dorms at least until you find another place —"

"am i a charity case to you?"

oh, the surprise on the junior's face when you push him away as you pin him with a hard stare. you just don't get it. why is kim doyoung so adamant about helping you? in becoming your hero, even when you never asked him to be? if you let him help you this time around, that'll be the 3rd time he came to save your ass. it's not as if you're ungrateful. simply, you've had enough of his help. you don't know how a person like you, who literally has nothing, can return the favor to someone like doyoung.

"what are you saying —"

"i'm saying…" you fix him a hard stare. "you helping me out doesn't even benefit you in the slightest. so why do you do it?"

he pauses, staring at you with hesitance in his eyes as this seems to be the very first time you've truly seen him speechless. when doyoung opens his mouth, he mumbles, and you hardly make sense of what he said.

"do you really want to know why?"

you urge him on with an arched eyebrow, his softened tone creeping into your heart.

"you're someone special to me y/n. i don't know how or when i admitted it to myself, but you are, and it hurts me to see how shitty your luck is," he cracks a small grin, slowly settling back onto the hospital bed as he grabs your hand. "it's okay to seek help from others. it isn't a sign of vulnerability or weakness. i help you because i want to, and i'm more than willing to take care of you. will you let me?"

you're not blind. you've noticed the way he had slowly started coming closer as he continued to speak, hands held securely in his as he looked straight at your eyes then down at your lips. and so, you act in a way you know that will surely answer his question — with a kiss.

the man before you immediately reciprocates, overpowering your own eagerness as he curls the tips of his fingers into the roots of your hair. he pulls you close, cradling you against his chest. you can taste his desperation in the way his tongue dances against yours, the kiss transporting you into an alternate reality where your world revolves around doyoung and doyoung alone.

when he pulls away bleary-eyed, both of you ignore the thin strand of saliva connecting your lips. "how about you come live with me for the time being, my love?"

still high off his kiss and natural scent, you hardly mull over the question he asks you. "okay."

days later, after you've been discharged (he wanted to chip in for your hospital bills but you had given him a firm no), doyoung had been the one to show up at the dorm to collect all your things after leaving you in his apartment. the cutie had refused to simply drop you off and had deliberately accompanied you up the elevator, through the halls, and finally into his apartment.

"i'll be out for just a minute, sugarcube."

"oh, can you get take out?"

doyoung had smiled, playfully booping the tip of your nose. "no, because i'll be cooking for us tonight as a little celebration for you getting discharged. you'll love it; i'm making your favorite!"

it was funny how the night had been nothing but utter bliss. the foreign feeling of being taken care of sprouting in your chest as you watch him cooking from behind the counter. it felt… nice. but funny enough, as if doing a 360, you both had immediately gotten into an argument the next day.

"i don't see the need for skipping another day if i feel perfectly fine! i'll figure something out once we get there, doyoung, so can we just —"

"you' re not fine, babylove — hell, you got discharged yesterday! i'm not just about to let you back into the arena with those students. they've only grown more immature since your coma, love. i seriously don't want you near them."

"fine! then i won't talk to them. simple." you throw your hands up. "there. problem solved. now, can we please just go to uni? i need to talk to the dean and the head of student affairs, too —"

"i'm going to uni, not you."

maybe it had been the way he firmly stated his claim, the way his eyes pierced through your soul as if daring you to argue further with him that made you snap.

"i'm not a prisoner in this apartment, doyoung! don't treat me like i have the plague! i'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself — jesus christ, i've been doing it nearly half my fucking life!"

too caught up in your anger, you've failed to notice the tears pouring down his face as he sets his gaze on the floor.

"you're right," his voice cracks. "i shouldn't be pushy like that. i'm sorry. you just mean so much to me and i'm so scared of losing you again. with your coma — i just — it's like i was fighting a losing battle each day that passed when i saw you in that hospital bed. i've never felt so scared in my whole life and i hated myself for not being able to protect you that night."

his tears run like waterfalls, and when you step forward with your arms wide open, doyoung sobs harder as he pulls you against him. you hardly comprehend what he says as he spoke, shaking against your frail body as you felt his tears stain your blouse. "i'm sorry, i never should've dictated what you felt — i'm so sorry."

"no, it's okay. i was feeling a little lightheaded, anyway. i'll stay here and i can come back to school next semester, right? doyoung? just… please stop crying."

he lifts his head, staring at you with bloodshot eyes before giving your forehead a kiss. you let a relieved sigh escape your lips, melting into his warmth as you prop your chin on his shoulder. if you had only been more attentive, you would've seen the reflection of his wicked grin on the tabletops. too easy.

living with him became a blur after that incident. everything fell into a routine for the next four days as you spent the day watching netflix, eating, reading, sleeping. nothing felt fun anymore. but your peaceful life had ceased during the fifth night — the whispers, they woke you up. you can hear them from behind your door at night, and when you rouse awake, you see doyoung walking around the hallway from the tiny gap at the bottom of the door. you had sighed, falling back into your plush bed as you pray to god, he keeps it down.

but what he told you the next day rendered you speechless. "me, walking around the hallways? whispers?" he says, confused. "i was already asleep, love. knocked out cold the moment my body fell on the bed."

"but…"

he doesn't spare you a glance as he takes his sweet time skimming through his notes on the dining table, coffee in one hand. "maybe it's just the meds kicking in."

"no, surely it was real! i literally woke up in the middle of the night," you repeat. "it's okay if it was you, doyoung. i'm not mad."

he sets his coffee mug down a little too loud.

"well, you can't be mad at me, sugar, because like i said — it wasn't me," it doesn't take a genius to notice he's awfully cranky today. you observe him, dark half-moons under his eyes as he relentlessly reads his notes with instant coffee in one hand.

"you're just imagining things, okay? stop acting crazy."

for some reason, the way he had uttered certain words like 'imagining' and 'crazy' made you curl into your seat in embarrassment. he was right that your doctor did prescribe a generous amount of pills per day, but his tone made it feel off, made you feel like there was something wrong with you even when there wasn't…

right?

you didn't say a word after that and had hesitantly pecked him on the cheek before he left for school. with the amount of time you're with him, two things stood out to you — his keen sense of observation and his knack for reading people. you highly doubt he didn't notice a shift in your behavior but a part of you thinks it's just the stress talking. he is about to take his finals and had recently started on his research paper.

every psych student is required to present a paper in accordance with the department's annual theme. it could be anything from proposing a theory (if you dare) to constructing a well-developed psychology model. if you don't turn one in, you don't graduate — the paper's that important, and you've been bugging him for so long about sneaking a peek on what his study is about. but he always refused.

the next week came rolling around, and both of you had been spending every day together due to the semestral break. the arguments have significantly lessened, but your episodes — eventually, you started calling it that way because that's how doyoung labels it — have only gotten worse. you end up moving out of the guest room and into his. privacy be damned. the whispers stopped momentarily but what came next became your imminent downfall.

the first time you heard it, you thought you were dreaming. but the doorknob kept rattling aggressively even as you sat up. just as you climb off the bed, your half-asleep boyfriend asks where you're going.

"bathroom," you lied.

you were always the one to snort when it comes to the supernatural, claiming it's all bullshit. yet, as whatever outside continues to fight its way inside the room, the rattling progressing into loud bangs against the door, you're not so sure of your beliefs anymore. you're not crazy. nothing is wrong with you, and you're perfectly fine. this apartment is cursed, and you are going to prove that to doyoung.

grabbing your phone from the bedside table, you turn the flash on, pointing the camera at the door as you take a footage of the mad entity that has been playing games with you. a squeal escapes your lips when a particular bang! reverberates louder in the room than all the others. the phone slips your hand, falling onto the floorboards. you don't bother to retrieve it as you scramble to get yourself back under the blanket and into doyoung's comfortable warmth.

you snuggle yourself plush against his chest, shaking as you wrap your arms around his waist, inhaling his natural scent to anchor you back.

bang! bang! bang!

you didn't get a wink of sleep last night.

"can't the video wait? there's a new episode of start-up, and i want to watch it already!" he whines, shoving his face further on the throw pillow situated on your lap.

you giggle, shaking your head as you scroll through your gallery to find the video. i'm not imagining things. i'm not hallucinating. i'm not crazy. "here! watch... i'm telling you this apartment is haunted, and the ghost probably likes you, which is why it doesn't bother you —"

your lighthearted rambling cuts off when you notice no sound emitting from your phone. weird. you could've sworn you started recording right when the loud banging has already started. your heart drops upon the wary stare doyoung shoots you before he continues to watch the video.

no, no, no, no — please!

you quickly scoot over to his side, watching as the video unfolds before your very eyes. the shot was messy as the phone was handheld, not to mention you were panicking at the time. but the video is silent. not a single noise of a rattling doorknob or banging on the door can be heard through your phone's speakers.

"maybe — maybe you didn't turn the volume up?"

you hardly contain the mortification in your face when you realize the volume's at 100 already. and as if on cue, your squeal is heard in the video and the noise of the phone hitting the floor.

doyoung's silence shakes your whole being. as you kneel before him teary-eyed, your voice breaks. "i swear, i'm not crazy."

but at this point, you don't believe yourself anymore.

for his third and final act;

he triumphs.

his deprivation began in minuscule ripples.

it didn't take much effort on doyoung's end to convince you to stop studying for a year or two, at least, only until your hallucinations aren't as severe anymore. everyday felt like hell on earth as the fine line between what's real and what isn't has blurred over one too many times. in sheer paranoia of accidentally hurting him in his sleep, you moved out of his bedroom and had started sleeping in the guest room again — much to doyoung's frustration.

but he's a smart man, one that recognizes an opportunity amidst the hurdles thrown on his path.

"why does my door need a lock outside again?"

he approaches you, who’s sitting cross-legged on the bed, after screwing in the last of the screws that came with the new doorknob. doyoung is familiar with the look written on your face, has observed and studied you enough to navigate his way inside your pretty little head with ease.

he can't have you doubting him, can he?

"you know i'm all about protecting you, right?" he starts. you nodded. "i've been doing it for a year now, and i will continue to do so until you need me to. the world is a bad place, sweetheart, remember? your own best friend's mother tried framing you. your dad disowned you. you've been ostracized in the whole college... do you think i'm just like the rest of them, baby?"

doyoung has already mastered the perfect expression of a kicked-puppy, one that easily pulls at your heartstrings and has you cooing at him.

"no!" you say with conviction, reaching forward to thread your fingers through his. "i know you're different, not like any of them at all. i know you're only doing what's… best for me."

he ignores the underlying hesitance in your tone. that will be corrected, sooner or later.

doyoung tightens his hold as he kisses the back of your hand. such an innocent gesture — but such ill intentions.

"the outside lock helps me in protecting you, love. you don't need to worry about anything. just focus on getting better, alright? i'll keep the bad guys away from you."

it was during his first semester of senior year, a few months back, doyoung and a good few students of his batch had been granted the opportunity to intern for a mental hospital located near the edge of the city. he was supposed to decline the offer but you convinced him to take the spot. it had only been a two-week “job” yet it was enough for doyoung to conclude — he’d rather kill you than subject you to the horrors of what the patients have to go through in the loony bin.

eventually, the small ripples shift into unforgiving waves, dragging you into the depths as everything comes crashing down before your very own eyes.

it should have been like any other day inside the apartment. doyoung's already gone in the morning to attend classes. though not before setting a tray of your brunch on the nightstand, making sure to lock your door on his way out. he knew your nightmares and anxiety kept you up at night, resulting in longer hours of sleep during the day.

turns out, you moving out of his bedroom had been a blessing in disguise. coming home to an empty apartment has become his biggest fear yet, and you unconsciously found a solution for him. one that doesn’t have him fidgeting on his seat as he counts down the minutes ‘til he’s back by your side.

doyoung smiles unconsciously as he listens to his professor drone on and on in front of him — his mind at peace, knowing you're safe and sound in your little prison.

until he received a text that made his blood run cold.

ty, 11:34 am —im done.

meanwhile, you rouse awake once more to thunderous poundings against your bedroom door. oh no, you thought. it's happening again. this time, there'll be no doyoung barging into your room, half-asleep and hair messy, as he tries to calm you down. you throw the blankets over you as you sob, hugging your legs against your chest as you try to 'wake yourself up' from the hallucination.

the person outside calls for your name, the desperation in their tone alighting a new-found fear in your heart. you don't know what's real anymore. is this truly happening, or is it another hallucination your fucked up mind has conjured up?

"please! it's taeyong! y/n, can you hear me?"

taeyong?

slowly, your head peaks above the blanket, warily staring at the door. doyoung has warned you about these kinds of things, has practically ingrained in your mind that whoever comes looking for you will take you away from him. not to mention, doyoung slipped one time and said he isn’t friends with taeyong anymore.

the banging on the door progresses.

“are you in there? answer me! i can’t find the key!”

you don’t say anything, merely pushing the covers off your body as you keep your eyes fixed on the beating door. it looks like it’s about to pop out its hinges as taeyong relentlessly fights his way inside your room. what are you going to do? do you open the door? oh. right. you can’t do that on your own accord. the key is with doyoung and he isn’t in the apartment at the moment.

all your thoughts come to a halt when the boy outside sends the door flying open, finally breaking the lock with one powerful kick. you flinch back, his actions pushing you on your feet, wanting to place a maximum amount of distance from the intruder.

taeyong looks frantic, disheveled as he immediately notices your alarmed state. he approaches you cautiously, hands up to show his empty palms. “hey, hey… it’s just me, y/n. i’m not going to hurt you. i’m not the enemy here.”

“doyoung doesn’t know you’re here, does he?”

the look of surprise on his face is an answer in itself. for someone doyoung had proudly claimed to have “broken” you’re still quite quick to catch up on things, taeyong observed. and he doesn’t know what to feel about it — pity? guilt?

“that’s not important!” he claims, boldly surging forward to grasp your shoulders with a firm grip. taeyong felt his heart dropping when you flinch under his grasp.

“listen to me. we need to get you out of here. doyoung isn’t — he isn’t everything you thought he is!” he can’t help but raise his voice, panic surging through him because there’s not much time left and you aren’t exactly cooperating. you’ve been trying to shrug off his hold the whole time.

“do you think he actually loves you?”

“he does! stop saying bullshit!”

“doyoung never loved anyone and you want to know why? because he’s too in love with his research to care for anything else!” taeyong felt bad to have been so direct, especially when he sees the tears now falling freely down your cheeks. “listen to me, y/n! i’m not the enemy! if there’s anyone you should be pushing away, it’s doyoung! he turned you into his lab rat! you are nothing but a variable in his study! don’t you get it?”

taeyong grabs a firm but gentle hold of your head, trying to make you look at him straight in the eye for the gravity of what he’s about to say to you.

“doyoung had his eye on you since sophomore year. i told him this was a bad idea and that he should change the topic of the research and he was. fucking hell, he was about to scrap the whole thing until your bestfriend died and did you know what that psycho told me? that it was a sign for him to continue the research! and i’ve been pestering him so much that he moved out because he claimed i was going to get in the way of his discovery.

tell you what, if you can tell me right here, right now, that he has mentioned anything — anything at all — about his study to you then everything i’m saying is a lie.”

you have asked doyoung for the longest time about that research but the answers have always been the same. “not yet, my love. it’s not time for it to be seen with your eyes. soon, okay?”

with a voice not louder than a whisper, you ask. “what… what’s his research about?”

you fail to see the sorry look on taeyong’s face. “in psychology, they say a person only develops psychosis mainly through genetics or drugs. although you’re technically already a worthy “lab rat” considering your mom and upbringing, he wanted to expand the external factors of what causes the disorder — grief, grades, toxic family relations…”

you hear a ringing in your ear and a sudden urge to throw up. only, you didn’t have anything to hurl because your brunch remains untouched on your bedside.

“but he hadn’t been successful. and that’s… that’s where i came along. doyoung thought the medications he’s been giving you isn’t doing what he wanted it to and he knew he needed a little push. i was… i gave him that push. remember the whispers, the banging on the door at night? it was all me. he made me do it. you know what that means, right? you’re not crazy. you don’t need to stay here cooped up like some kind of pet, believing all his lies as if it’s written in a fucking bible —”

he stops. and if he hadn’t, you wouldn’t’ve heard the familiar beeps of the front door’s automated lock going off. doyoung’s home.

in lightning speed, taeyong has you sheltered behind him, throwing his warm coat over you in the process, hoping to give the smallest comfort amidst the chaos that’s about to erupt. there’s no point in pretending or hiding — one look at that lock and his crazy friend would know something’s off.

taeyong feels you flinching behind him with every heavy footstep against the floorboards as doyoung wastes no time in getting to your room. and when he finally appears, hands braced against the door frame, you’ve never been this scared your whole life. his eyes are drawn into slits, fixated on taeyong alone. “how fucking dare you?”

“it’s over, doyoung. give it up or you wouldn’t have to suffer a longer sentence than you’ll already get.” taeyong tried with his whole being to appear intimidating.

“what’re you saying, yong? i meant, how fucking dare you barge in here and disturb my girlfriend in her sleep? that’s not very nice of you…” doyoung sports a disarming gummy smile as he approaches, hand outstretched and beckoning towards you. “c’mere, baby. i don’t think you’ve eaten lunch yet?”

“drop the fucking act, you psycho!”

“what act?” doyoung tilts his head innocently, gaze shifting from taeyong’s and yours, who keeps peeking from over his ex-friend’s shoulder. luring you out is a piece of cake unless taeyong decides to make things a wee bit more complicated, doyoung thought. “i’m just concerned for my darl —”

“we’re leaving.” taeyong cuts him off, breaking eye contact as he places a firm grip around your wrist. he pulls you towards him, farther away from your supposed lover as he tries walking past doyoung.

but the said man pushes taeyong back with a humorless smile on his face. “and who told you that you can do that?”

a pregnant silence befalls the room as the two men size each other up. they regard each other with such hostility, you can't help but unconsciously fist the back of taeyong's sweater in nervousness, prompting the man to turn his head over his shoulder for a swift second to check up on you.

but a second is all that doyoung needed to deliver the first kick towards taeyong's legs, throwing him off his balance. if it was one thing doyoung knew, is that he needed to eliminate taeyong's agility all together if he wants to win against him.

but taeyong isn't one to back down. the moment doyoung straddles him on the floor, with a fist raised to throw a punch, taeyong grunts as he rolls them around. doyoung now receiving taeyong's rain of fists as he yells. "fuck you! you manipulative asshole!"

you sat on the corner, horrified of the scene happening before you. you've never seen doyoung this way. he has always been your sweet, caring bunny, but after everything taeyong said, you aren't so sure you even know the man you've been living with.

"everything i did, i did it for her!" you flinch at the sound of bones breaking as doyoung kicked taeyong's ribs. "she had nothing to lose! i saved her!"

the door is open, you noticed. wide-open and inviting you to make a run for it. and you would have made a run for it... but taeyong. you can't leave him behind, not when he lays there bloody and grunting in pain as doyoung lets his anger take over him. so, as stupid as may be, you did it. you had to.

"you didn't save me," you say, schooling your face into indifference as doyoung whips around, forgetting about taeyong in the bat of an eye. "you caged me in here, treated me like there's something wrong with me, gaslighted me into believing everything you said! and... what did you say? 'saved me'? you made me go through hell!"

the whole time, taeyong tries his hardest to stand upright, but his broken ribs don't allow him to. the pain too great that he had no choice but to crawl instead, arms pulling his weight as he drags himself across the floorboards, desperately trying to get doyoung's attention back on him even if it meant getting beaten to death.

meanwhile, he had his eyes trained on you the whole time you spoke, sobbing as you walk backward in fear as doyoung approached you with a dark glint in his eye. he doesn't like what you're saying; that much is very clear. he wanted to yell at you, to scream of your ungratefulness despite his constant care but instead, he says.

"i thought we were making progress, baby. i guess i have to drill everything in your brain again. you're not okay, but you will be after i treat you."

you try to fight the urge to look at taeyong as he finds his strength, silently rising up from the floor to ambush doyoung while he's so busy preaching about you.

"what i said is true, baby. do you actually think this scum over here is doing this to save you? do you actually believe everything he said? i've been here since day-1, my love. literally. and have i ever let you down? no. everything i'm doing is for us. even this damned research!"

taeyong surges forward to put him in a chokehold, but everything happened so fast, and the next thing you knew —

"did you actually think i'd fall for that?"

you didn't know the sound of a knife cutting through flesh could sound that loud, but nothing could beat the strained gasp that tumbled through taeyong's lips as he shakily held the knife pierced through his heart. you would've been concerned about how doyoung got it so accurate in one go or where the knife even came from. but you were too busy screaming, collapsing against the wall as you let out a broken sob.

"no," you mutter. "no, no, no..."

you can't bear to avert your eyes from taeyong as he lies dying before you. the look of fear in his eyes would forever be ingrained in your mind, and no amount of brainwashing or gaslighting would ever make you forget.

doyoung killed him. you lost.

the knife clatters loudly on the floor as he slowly turns around as if he himself has yet to register what he did. you didn't know what to expect from doyoung's reaction but certainly not the eerie smile that starts spreading on his face.

"now... how about that lunch, baby?"

✉ : a repost no one asked but i respectfully dont give a fuck <3

#hmu if i missed a warning #yandere doyoung #yandere kpop #yandere nct #yandere nct 127 #tw swearing #tw manipulation #tw violence #tw knife

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canary3d-obsessed · 4 years

Text

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 04 (second part)

(Masterpost) (Episode 04, first part) (Episode 05, first part)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes

Continued from the first half of this very long post!

Lets Go! Gusu

Wen Qing is lovingly exploring the magical wards of Gusu. She tries a little digital penetration on the ward at the waterfall, but gets the hard nope.

Note: Here at Canary3d we don’t ship Wen Qing with any cultivator ladies because we’re too busy shipping her with modern-day infosec-pro ladies, if you get what I’m saying and/or have read my bio.

Meanwhile Wei Wuxian is fishing with Nie Huaisang, using the method of sneaking up and grabbing fish with his bare hands. This actually works, because he is good at literally everything. His “I’ll be the prodigy” speech to Lan Xichen, isn’t actually arrogant.

Aw, Look at Xiao Zhan pretending this fish isn’t already dead.

Nosy Parker Wei Wuxian

Wei Wuxian goes to chat up Wen Qing and none of his crap works on her.

If I want to admire a pretty face I’ll go look in the mirror

His interactions with Wen Qing help to mature Wei Wuxian quite a bit over the months and years. Initially she’s a mystery to him, and he wants her attention and esteem. And can’t get either.

Look how stunned he is to encounter a boundary when she won’t let him touch her needle. “Wards are made to be broken” but she’s not going to let him past any of hers.

Jiang Cheng, Insecurest Boi

Oh you beautiful sad angry boy.

(More after the cut!)

Jiang Cheng is angrily waving the laundry around practicing his angry sword moves without a sparring partner, which is noteworthy partly because it shows how dedicated he is, but also because it shows how much he depends on Wei Wuxian for social interaction and cultivation practice. There must be 40 or 50 kids he could go practice with, but he’s by himself.

Camera Operator: Why you gotta take it out on me?

When he bitches to Yanli about his Dad preferring Wei Wuxian, she gaslights him.

Yanli is so gentle and kind, and she’s been the real mother for both of these boys when she didn’t have to be. But she ain’t perfect.

Yanli found this soup recipe on youtube. The ingredients are: water

Jiang Cheng has such a complex about Wei Wuxian he won't take the fish from him directly. He just looks hungry until Yanli grabs a stick and passes it to him.

Look, Jiang Cheng, we know you have reasons to be upset, but you need to get the fuck over yourself.

Aw, look at Xiao Zhan pretending this fish is cooked/palatable. (note: it is not)

Xiao Zhan deserves multiple awards for this performance. With bonus points for gratuitously eye-fucking Wang Zhoucheng into next week.

Wang Zhuocheng is an amazing actor who plays an incredible range of emotions, but selling the “delicious fish” lie exceeds his abilities. Look how he steels himself before he opens his mouth.

Yanli tells Wei Wuxian to be good starting tomorrow, and WWX gives her his patented lying-motherfucker salute.

This one has 4 fingers, unlike the 3-fingered boy scout salute he gave Lan Wangji on the roof in the previous episode. The extra finger is for extra lying.

Lan Lecture: Goofing off

Wei Wuxian is bored and spends the lecture time goofing off or sleeping like any other smart kid with ADHD.

Eventually he draws a bunny while Nie Huasang tosses him a nut wrapped in paper and he eats it. It’s the same kind of nut he eats at the beginning of his second life, when he remarks that they tasted better 16 years ago.

Don’t mind me, just putting Nie-Xiong’s nuts in my mouth

It’s cute how WWX and NHS are so vaguely gay for each other without bothering to be seriously gay for each other.

Several of the rules that are read out during this part of the lecture are things that Wei Wuxian is doing during this part of the lecture, or will become known for doing in the near future.

sitting improperly

causing noise

teasing others

ignoring others and being undisciplined

borrowing money

being late

Lan Lecture: Showing off

The question & answer part of the lecture arrives, which is when Wei Wuxian gets to show off his gifts.

He is that classic kid who already knows the essence of the material, does not need stuff explained, and is super bored at rote learning.

Lan Qiren makes Lan Wangji show off his skills to the whole class, which would guarantee an after-school ass kicking for the teacher's pet except that LWJ is basically the most aggressive person in the entire Lan clan (thanks Mom for those "I'm going to kill you now" genes!) and is unbeatable.

Lan Lecture: Going off

Next, Wei Wuxian introduces an idea for sustainable energy.

He starts off challenging Lan Qiren's hypothetical scenario, and as Lan Qiren draws breath to answer him, Lan Wangji starts speaking. LWJ has been listening very carefully and is speaking out of turn instead of letting the master speak, which is...probably not how he usually conducts himself?

From Wei Wuxian’s perspective, this is just the run-up to his next outrageous suggestion, but for Lan Wangji, this has to be an enormous moment. This boy who is unexpectedly a good sparring partner with swords and words is also an intellectual sparring partner - someone who can give Lan Wangji an actual chance to debate something.

Wei Wuxian’s answer "it's such a waste" is directed to Lan Wangji, not to the class as a whole. Lan Wangji, Gusu’s loneliest boy, is suddenly in a relationship with an equal. The relationship is adversarial, but it's EQUAL.

Wei Wuxian carries on explaining his idea: How about digging up and desecrating corpses? No no no Not for fun, but in order to have massive, unthinkable power?

Seems like a waste to just leave the dead to their rest when you could be using them for something.

Lan Qiren: I can see we are going to have to kill you eventually, aren't we

Jiang Cheng: oh my god Wei Wuxian you can't just ask about decapitating corpses

Jiang Yanli: perhaps my unwavering loyalty to Dad's methods with my baby brother should be reexamined

Nie Huasang: my dude, conceal don’t feel, seriously

Lan Wangji: hmmm he’s not exactly wrong

Lan Wangji was a LOT more horrified at Wei Wuxian sticking a note on Lan Qiren’s ass than he is at this whole demonic cultivation thing. Lan Wangji is really really attracted to Wei Wuxian’s talent and intelligence, even when it's completely heterodox. You can see it much later when Wen Ning gets his personality back; Lan Wangji is impressed and congratulatory, unlike literally everyone else in the cultivation world.

Punishment

When Wei Wuxian gets sent to copy a chapter 1000 times, Jiang Cheng and Yanli are both horrified, whereas Wei Wuxian’s reaction is totally chill.

Basically he knows that he has reached the part of the classroom discussion where he is inevitably sent for punishment, because he is totally used to that being how things go in his education.

Similarly, kneeling doesn't bother him because Madame Yu made him kneel for everything. Wei Wuxian is the mascot for too-smart bored kids everywhere.

On his way out, Wei Wuxian hits Lan Wangji with this troubled look of yearning. In this moment where Wei Wuxian is sparking Lan Wangji’s interest and tentatively seeking a path toward Lan Wangji’s heart, he is also mapping out the unorthodox path he will follow away from him as they grow up.

Lan Qiren in his rage does the dumbest and, frankly, most irresponsible thing the parent of a teenager can do in this situation; he sends Lan Wangji to supervise Wei Wuxian’s punishment.

"This terrible WWX is a one-man bad crowd. Let me send my deeply conflicted, stubborn, intensely private, teetotling, abstinent and abstemious newphew to spend several days in a private location with him, being bored together."

Lan Wangji responds to this order with 100% calmness, not even an eyebrow furrow.

I'm sure no cussing, pornography, romantic portraits, flirty ink grinding, or changes in forms of address will happen.

Lan Lecture: Blowing off

Wei Wuxian meanwhile has fucked off to go make more friends, and is hanging out with Wen Ning. Wen Ning demonstrates his archery by hitting the worlds slowest falling rock in midair and Wei Wuxian earnestly praises him and offers to trade skill pointers.

I love how sweet and kind WWX is to this younger kid who is obviously a little different.

When Wen Qing shows up, Wei Wuxian takes another opportunity to get into her business, but he skips the charm this time. He also 100% correctly deduces what she is up to.

Swords by the Waterfall

Then comes another sexy sword fight as Lan Wangji sneaks up on Wei Wuxian and almost get his face sliced open as a reward.

Now that the swords are out it’s time for...homework, sigh. Summer school is the worst.

Outro

Writing Prompt: Lan Xichen’s letter to Nie Mingjue after meeting Meng Yao

Episode 05 Restless Rewatch is over here!

#fytheuntamed #the untamed #the untamed gifs #chen qing ling #the untamed stills #restless rewatch the untamed #wei wuxian #lan wangji #wen qing #lan qiren #weilan #the untamed spoilers #restless rewatch #the untamed meta

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slversoul · 3 years

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* mia goth, cis female + she/her | you know cecilia rutherford, right? they’re twenty-four, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, three hours? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to summer wine by nancy sinatra and lee hazlewood like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole strap of a silk slip falling down her shoulder, sitting on a sailboat and smoking, soft smile hiding shark teeth thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is june 1, so they’re a gemini, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( cornelia )

death tw, gaslighting tw, animal death tw, murder tw, attempted murder tw

born at 12:02 am on june 1, three minutes after her twin brother, making her younger — a fact cecil never let her forget.

the twins shared one name. one head. two hands. two feet. one heart. it was impossible to tell them apart as small children, everyone assuming they were identical twins with their matching haircuts and outfits.

their parents had met when their father was shooting a movie in brazil, sweeping their mother off her feet, and bringing her to connecticut where they were married within three months. only four years later she was moving to italy to live with her young lover.

back and forth the twins moved between their father’s home and their mother’s home. the constant shuffling around led them to be homeschooled in their youth. all the better for them. the twins ran through the large houses, barefoot, with laughter filling the corridors behind them.

it wasn’t that their parents didn’t love them, but they had other things to preoccupy their time. cecil and cecilia only had each other.

when they turned 11, they were enrolled in a middle school, settling in with their father full time during the school year. the other kids might not have known them, but they certainly recognized their last name. despite their lack of early socialization, they made friends quickly. calm and easy to converse with, they were respected among their peers.

(attempted murder tw) the first incident happened when they were 12. with their friend over and their father gone, the three of them were swimming in the pool. their friend, wanting to show off, dived into the pool. in the blink of an eye, cecilia watched red bloom from him, seeping slowly into the surrounding pool water. she wanted to run and find the housekeeper, wanted to call 911. do something. do anything. cecil held his hand up, stopping her in his tracks. his eyes were on their friend floating face down in the pool, and her eyes were on him, searching for anything buried in his cold, dark eyes. as the seconds ticked by, he finally lowered his hand, and cecilia ran screaming into the house. the friend lived, but from then on, there seemed to be a separation between the twins and the rest of the world.

they skipped eighth grade, too smart for any of the silly assignments their teachers had for them that year. they played tennis and golf and even learned to sail. all activities they could do together. all activities their parents had wanted them to learn on their own.

(animal death tw) it was their trips to italy that got them interested in architecture and history and classics. places they could explore first hand, reconstructing history with nothing more than their imaginations. one night, they snuck out of their mother’s villa and stole three chickens from a neighboring farm. deep into the woods they went until they came across the smooth stone. it was cecil that butchered them, but this time, cecilia’s eyes were cold as she watched the blood spill down the stone and seep into the forest floor. the gods were appeased cecil had said.

every time a friend encouraged cecilia to step away from cecil, the friendship ended shortly after. he was her older brother. he knew the ways of the world and was helping lead her through it. she went on dates but she never dated, preferring to limit her company. perhaps that’s why everyone clamored to be around her, and even fought for cecil’s attention. they didn’t walk, they floated, in a reality of their own making. a secret universe that no one else got a glimpse of. but their classmates and their teammates and their neighbors needed to know what made them so different from everyone else, blinding them to the coldness the twins wrapped themselves in like a large quilt.

off they went to college, both of them double majoring in classics and history with a minor in latin.

the tipping point came when they were placed in different recitations for some general lecture. they demanded their parents try to convince the dean to place them in the same one, and the parents insisted they tried their hardest, but in reality, they were happy to see the twins apart. it was there that she made friends. friends who didn’t know her brother, and didn’t care to know him. it started with study group without cecil, but it grew bigger and bigger, until slowly, she became cecilia rutherford and not cecil’s sister.

of course, he didn’t take this news well. he was sick every month, needing cecilia to nurse him back to health. or he wanted to do a family dinner the same night she was supposed to go out. she tried reconciling him and her friends, but they never seemed to get along. torn between two worlds, she was tugged back and forth, helpless in the middle.

(murder tw) bunny, siobhan, cecilia, and cecil were at the marina late at night. they were tying the boat up, having spent the whole day in the sun, still tipsy from an afternoon of drinking. a comment about one of their classes, one cecil wasn’t in, struck a nerve, and he launched into a tiraid. a move to grab cecilia, resulted in him being pushed away, slipping and falling over the pier and hitting his head on the boat before he landed in the water with a splash. nobody made a move to call for help. a relief really. he had been but a stone, trying to drag everyone down to whatever sad pit of despair he lived in. it was a secret that they would take to the grave, binding them together.

they stayed close throughout college, drifting away as they graduated. cecilia moved from pursuit to pursuit, treating everything as if it was some kind of game rather than a career. she even tried her hand at writing a novel, growing bored after only ten chapters in. she had more fun laying around on the yacht of whoever she was seeing at the moment.

her brother’s death hardly left a mark on the family. they cried together at the funeral, but they floated apart again, dealing with the grief in their own way. she never talked about it, preferring to block out his memory entirely than deal with the consequences of their actions. this proved impossible when she received a note, slipped under the door of the penthouse she was currently renting out. a note, in her deceased brother’s handwriting. you can’t get away that easily. fear left her cold, and she tracked down her old friends, packing up and moving to irving, north carolina to confront the past.

PERSONALITY

she’s friendly and charming and outgoing. she can talk to everyone and be kind to everyone, but that doesn’t mean she likes everyone. it’s all about appearances. is very good at hiding things and keeping things close to her. she’s still struggling with the loss of her brother because he was her best friend. she’s aware of his flaws, but it’s hard for her to reconcile her fairytale version of him and the truth. cecilia is super smart and pretentious and snobbish, but she’s also a bit of an airhead in that she’s not aware of how the “common person” lives. she’s very out of touch with things because she lives in the bubble of her parents’ money. she’s calm always. it always seems like nothing fazes her, and it’s all a façade. um i think i’ll add more to this later but that is all for now :)

WANTED CONNECTIONS

okay, so as she is new, like literally just moved in hours ago, she’s not really going to have recent connections. but i’m so down for doing past connections :)) maybe a love affair when they were both on vacation somewhere, or someone who she knew in the past who hates how calm she is about everything. also someone who knew her brother and either hated or loved him bt that would be fun angst bc she doesn’t talk about him anymore :) anyway, if you think our muses could have met in the past, just let me know and we can brainstorm connections :D

#irvingintro

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phoebehalliwell · 3 years

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Yo that anon with the Bianca/Dency 👌🏻👌🏻 but like ohhh Dency coupd totally meet a cute Phoenix in her universe tho!! 👀 Or maybe a dark Witchlighter? Idk I think her falling I love with a more “neutral” witch hybrid would be cute!

And like do you think her little agency would work with neutral magical sources like phoenixes to find people? Because like Dency could be like a Penn but for the opposite side? If that makes sense?? Like Penn is bringing all the “light” witches together but Dency is really the figures head for the “dark/neutral” witches like the witch hybrids and the phoenixes…like Dency is kinda like the unintentional beacon of light for that side…just by being herself? Like maybe she doesn’t actively campaign for more acceptance for hybrid witches but her mere existence alone and the good she does is enough to get the ball rolling?

tbh as far as dency love interests go i'm a little bit torn because i have this mortal rashid idk if i've talked bout him before but like. he and dency have a classic rivals to lovers arc going on in college liek they fucking Hated each other blah blah blah she definintely gaslighted him a lil with her powers nothing malicious jsut like. teleportation like ha there's no way she'll beat me 2 the best spot in the library bc i just saw her walking up the steps while i am already inside and then boom he walks over there and she's there how?? the fuck>? teleporation fuck u. the point is thru their quasi spy vs spy antics i think they start to gain a sense of respect for one another than and he goes political journalism did this question even mention love interests idk That's Not The Point rashid does politics while dency's a bit more of a muckraker kinda more on a corporate side fraud and all that so they no longer are competitors and um. like they can finally appreciate the other as they are no longer and opponent as with most dency characters they have hooked up a couple times i shouldn't say that because as far as characters that have been introduced dency has slept with none of them bc they are all her besties u should never sleep w ur besties only ur homies but i think. i've stated this before? for starters dency doesn't do a lot of long term relationships just because you know that level of vulnerabilty and like if u really like someone then it's just leverage thatcan be used agianst u Or if u die then ur gonna break their heart but i think she does casual relationships with literally anyone but witches i. haven't posted the chaapter fuck i'll post it now because i've been sitting on it for so long and like i'm worried i'm gonna back myself in a corner w a it's not a plotline i don't like maybe just a plotpoint but i've like. written half the next chapter anyway. i'm also sitting on about 10k i think not only. 7k? unpublished w&s because it's like ending the narrative is ending i really need it to be coherent Speaking of incoherent. dency. i'm gonna post the chapter. but dency hangs out a lot at p3 which has changed hands piper owns her restaurants the backstory for this is.

paige has a charge back in the late aughts she's in a coven the point is her bestie has some traumatic incident happen to her and she wants revenge and it's something that (imo) totally justifies revenge like a killing her rapist type thing and like. it depends how we're going with charmed morality but i've established before i think (?) it's canon that if a witch takes an innocent's life she becomes a warlock like it's possible for witches to defect and become warlock if they take a life Specifically an innocent's life and even tho like that guy would be a mortal he def doesn't get innocent status because he's fucking evil she's allowed to murder him but i think she would murder someone else in the process and then causes her to lose her witch powers and gain a couple warlock powers and the rest of her coven shuns her for it which could have easily sent her down a dark path but paige's charge her bestie like stood by her thru all that like. like it's shit cosmic rules tbh. maybe. for legal reasons: i am not endorsing murder. please for the love of god don't make me admit to a grand jury i have a tumblr that'll be so cringe bro do not murder anyone. but paige's charge stands by her and idk maybe paige gets her a job at p3 all that the point is when piper sells the club to open her restaurant she sells it to paige's charge and her gf the warlock. so p3 kind of becomes a neutral power for magic no vanquishes allowed and it's one of the few places dark magic has on the surface just to vibe u just have to be able to tolerate being served by a witch like she owns the place so that kind of filters it. idk if this is more rambly than it normally is. i promise i'll go back in later and add periods. maybe. i am also a liar. but the point is i think p3 is one of the few places dency can really be hersefl because herself is half demon!! and at magic school she really is suppoed to feel ashamed of that like she hates it or something wishes it gone and Yes. it does scare her. being the source's heir all that. she's always worried about giving in to dark magic but like. she's a demon!!! there's no changing that there's no fighting that pushing it under the rug like. she can't change it she does want to spend her life hating herself like. it's who she is. fuck. so i think she doesn't date witches but like the regulars at p3 some warlocks the occasional like darklighter. dency has had romantic trysts with.

beck to rashid her mortal homies who she has hooked up with who they've always had this rapport they have this thing. bc rashid's smart okay that's why he's at dency's level (respectfully she gets her brains from her father i love phoebe but she's intuitive not intelligent cole on the other hand passed the bar exam (i think) so like.) rashid knows something's up. the point is they each give the other three questions. three questions you ask that the other has to answer fully honestly cards on the table no half truths nothing just the answer. rashid used one of those to find out dency's a witch, but she made him work for it. nothing vague like what are you strange things happen around you why like she's like ask your question but you better be specific about it and he's like fuck it. whatever. magic. that's my answer i think magic happens with you and no i'm not flirting i'm dead serious is magic like. are you magical? and the answer was yes. and rashid like while he was asking while he was like confident enough to admit that out loud to ask that to her face Did not see that coming. of course. there's a difference between like yes i can cast a couple spells and yes i'm the antichrist so. : )! but i think that's like a rapport thing between rashid and dency like whenever they ask hard hitting questions like "is that one of your three questions?" but idk if he's gonna. if he's gonna be it for her. there's also jack dency's childhood bestie so there's the childhood friends to lovers thing but like. i just don't see jack being in love with dency in that way like they're best friends. but not lovers. (but maybe they are??? idk)

But. third potential love interest is if i weren't goign for those two i was actually thinking.

two options here a cupid who reocgnizes dency as "the demon with the cupid ring? yeah that's gotta be the source's heir". so there's that i like the idea of. yeah. : )

but also. and i came up w this in an ask which i will not evne attempti to find. i'm sorry i can't spell you guys but it;s not happening 2nite beloeveds. but if u'vemade it this far. i do love u w my whole heart. dency. love interests. old ask about a squad a half-grimlock. appeal of being able to see auras see good people. this was originally in the ask. a love interest for billie?? maybe. idk. but just like. for dency someine who's always known htey have this immense dark side like. hmmmmmm okay i just thot of somehting. for lili. whish is phillipa. which is the prandy thirdborn. she's phsycics. however tf u spell that sykick. that's not the point dency who has. the source on her soul. falling with someone who can literally see the good in her. i'm picturing the half grimlock just ot like like a normal albino human. and they run a halfway house for those born of evil. because he or she or they idk>??? maybe neorponounds idk!!> whoever they r they run a halfway house for these kids born from demons warlocks darklighters bc they can see the good in them and that shouldn't. you get so scared gifted with these powers you don't understand they need a place to turn to. and the grimlock grimmy offers that place. def not their name but like. grimmy lmoa. ao. yeah. i think jsut opening i think integating magic schoolesp in a dency timeline what with penn and the elders and their pomp and circumstance i think it'd be a pain in the ass. but at the very least A magic school for kids wihtout light magic like they deserve it. evil shouldn't just be their default option. like they're just kids man they're jsut kids they deserve a shot at not even good man not everyone has to go on to be exceptional cure cancer and save the world just like. a chance to understand themselves not be scared. not be hated, jsut be/ like. do they not deserve that? so if grimmy's not a li for dency at the very least they are homies and they like pull together a magic school for neutral/dark beings.

#i don't know what this says!!!!#ahaha lmao #i'll read this later i hope this answers the question #i love u #charmed #dency halliwell #just like. do u guys know how much it fills my heart when u guys ask me this shit>#like #like like like like it's like. like these are/ i've said this before but liek these are just lil guys and they live in my head #but they live in your heads too!! and i'm like wow <3 like. like like when you're like how would dency warren sheridan penn dove anyone lik #like like i'm like wow.#i am from california if is was not obvius from how many times i used the word like to convey my feelinfs but like. wow 🥺♥#next gen #charmed next generation #💌

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kuiperblog · 4 years

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Awards that the Academy missed

Now that the Oscars are over, I thought I’d put out my own picks for several categories that didn’t receive proper recognition from the academy:

Best emotional scene where Scarlett Johansson ties someone’s shoes

Jojo Rabbit is an incredibly kind, sincere, and deeply funny movie. It’s hard to be a single mother. It’s even harder to be a single mother in Nazi Germany, especially when your son is enthusiastically pledging loyalty to the Party. Rosie (Scarlett Johansson) hates the Nazi Party, but she loves her son, and we see that no more clearly than in the scene where she squats down to tie Jojo’s shoes and explains the meaning of love. “You’ll know it when it happens. You’ll feel it. A pain. In your tummy. And in your heart.” It is a reminder of just how dependent and inexperienced and naive young Jojo is. In the lands of a lesser performer, this little speech about the meaning of love would have felt a bit too on the nose, but Scarlett Johansson delivers it in a way that makes you forget that she’s not a German mother in the year 1945.

It’s one of the best scenes of the year, almost as good as the Scarlett Johansson shoe-tying scene in Noah Baumbach’s movie about divorce. Winner: Marriage Story

Best movie where Adam Driver plays a character who loses his temper and shares a fraught romantic relationship with a woman who accuses him of being a villain

I don’t think that Star Wars IX: The Rise of Skywalker is a good film. The sequel trilogy is fraught, and watching episode VIII followed by IX felt like watching two different writer/directors wrestle over the direction they wanted the series to take, kicking sand in the face of the audience in the process. In Episode IX, the plot is barely coherent, the pacing is bizarre, and so many of the creative choices are baffling. Yet, the sequel trilogy has one through-line that constantly works, and continues to work in Episode IX: the relationship between Kylo Ren and Rey. By episode IX, it feels like Adam Driver and Daisy Ridley are carrying the whole weight of this franchise on their shoulders, and their relationship is one of the few things that gets better and more interesting over the course of the trilogy. Is it love? Is it hate? It’s difficult to articulate, and yet they share a connection, bound by some tether of fate or compatibility or chemistry that makes a romance between the two of them seem both impossible and inevitable. Yes, Kylo Ren is a villain, but he also may be the man that Rey loves.

Adam Driver brings a truly excellent performance in Star Wars IX: The Rise of Skywalker. It’s the kind of performance that makes you wish he could be in a better film, with better material to work with. Fortunately, he got exactly that in one of 2019′s most dramatic scenes, in Noah Baumbach’s divorce movie where Nicole (Scarlett Johansson) screams at Charlie (Adam Driver), “You gaslighted me! You’re a fucking villain!” Winner: Marriage Story

Best movie about the culture of Hollywood and Los Angeles

Tarantino loves making movies that are about movies. He pays homage to so many classic film genres, and every bit of his love for cinema comes across in his movies. Inglorious Basterds was a film about the power of cinema, with a powerful scene coming at the film’s climax that literally takes place in a theater, as film itself is used by a Jewish filmmaker as a weapon against Nazis.

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood is more deeply concerned with the filmmaking process and the people who participate in it, and I really think that Trudi Fraser (Julia Butters) steals the show with her portrayal of a child actress who, in her own way, reacquaints our protagonist Rick Dalton (Leonardo DiCaprio) with his love for acting. And the parts involving Sharon Tate are purely about the love of cinema, a throwback to a more innocent time as we watch someone who loved making movies get to see firsthand the joy that her performance has brought to an audience of moviegoers.

Of course, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood isn’t just about Hollywood; it’s about the city of Los Angeles. There’s a scene when night falls and all of the signs across the city light up, and I’m left with the feeling that Tarantino really just enjoys giving us a retrospective tour of Los Angeles. It’s a joy to behold, and the movie constantly reminds you of where you are and why it’s special. It’s a lot like the scenes in another movie from the same year, where a man of New York (Adam Driver) gradually becomes acquainted with the city of Los Angeles, a place where people spend their days in their cars instead of on their feet and people constantly feel the need to remark about how much space there is. Nicole (Scarlett Johansson) discovers that beyond her talents as an actress, she takes quite naturally to the director’s chair, as Los Angeles offers her opportunities that she never could have had in New York City. Winner: Marriage Story

Best movie where the “villain” is portrayed as German, but actually the real villain is the system

1917 is a movie about the brutality of war. It is also a hauntingly beautiful film.

There is a particular shot in the movie, the first scene that takes place after nightfall, where we see flares lighting up the night as a church burns. We see shadows dance across the ground, and the score swells in just the right way, and the scene was just so nightmarish yet so striking that I couldn’t help but have a physical reaction to it. It feels like we’ve stepped into hell on earth, and yet...

So many shots in this movie are simultaneously terrifying yet magnificent in a way that doesn’t undercut the terror of war, but rather, underscores it: these characters inhabit a beautiful world that is tainted by the scars of battle.

There is a moment about halfway through the movie when the main character is confronted with the grim reality of human mortality, and from that moment forward, the specter of death looms over him. Every gunshot he hears -- and that we hear -- is a reminder of his mortality. Every step that he takes, he is surrounded by death, often in the most literal way possible as he finds himself in various settings surrounded by the remains of the fallen.

As we gaze upon fields and rivers and earth littered with death, we are left with the impression that God has given us a beautiful world, and the things that make it ugly -- the machine guns and barbed wire, the crashed planes and mortar craters, the sound of gunfire and the agonized screams of injured soldiers -- are a pox upon that natural beauty, a sort of corruption that could only be wrought by the hands of men.

War is an ugly, wretched, terrible thing, not only because of what it is, but also because of what it robs us of. 1917′s hauntingly beautiful moments give us fleeting glimpses of that.

1917′s plot is fairly minimal, but its basic construction facilitates the anti-war message: the climax of this movie is not about a soldier attempting to win a battle or kill enemy combatants, but to call off an attack in order to prevent soldiers from marching into the maw of death. German soldiers stand in the way of our protagonist’s progress, and he must defeat them in order to carry out his mission, but the Germans are not the real villains here: the true villain of this movie is war itself.

I had similar thoughts watching Laura Dern’s performance in Noah Baumbach’s movie about divorce: true, she is an opportunistic divorce lawyer. She exploits Nicole and Charlie’s pain for her own benefit, and in the end we’re left to think that despite all her claims to feel compassion for Nicole, she was really in it to win to satisfy her own ego. And yet, can we really begrudge her for what she’s doing? She’s a divorce lawyer, and she’s good at her job. It’s hard not to admire her for her sheer competence and work ethic. She is responding to the incentives that the court system has put in place. The messiness of divorce court is not the fault of any single individual; it’s a system that forces good people to do bad things, including the divorce lawyer played by actress Laura Dern, whose German ancestry makes this movie a valid candidate for this category. Winner: Marriage Story

Best movie about human parasites

Bong Joon-ho makes films in a genre that I sometimes have difficulty describing, but maybe if I do a poor job of articulating it you’ll still get the idea of what I’m gesturing at: he makes movies that are about ideas. (As opposed to, say, movies that are about things, or people, or events, or places.) There were some movies -- good movies, even -- that, when you leave the theater, make you say, “well, that sure was a bunch of stuff that just happened.” I don’t think Bong has ever made a film like that: his movies stay with you.

Every movie is informed by the worldviews of the people who created it, but it feels like Bong creates movies that are intended to specifically communicate a certain worldview -- and yet it never feels preachy, because the stories that he tells seem so real and genuine. Maybe it’s the performances that he’s able to get out of the actors he works with, maybe it’s the way he always seems to let the camera linger just a second longer than other filmmakers would in order to really let a specific emotion hit you.

It feels reductive to describe Parasite as a film about class. It certainly doesn’t seem like we’re meant to agree with the characterization of these members of the “underclass” as mere parasites: they’re clever. They exhibit wit, ingenuity, and if they behave dishonestly and selfishly, it’s only because they’re part of a system that has forced them to be this way. It’s similar to the dynamic presented in Noah Baumbach’s divorce movie, where Baumbach portrays divorce lawyers as parasites who are nonetheless human in a story that feels incredibly true-to-life without being vindictive. Winner: Marriage Story

Best scene (that has also become an internet meme) where a character explains who is winning

Uncut Gems had me glued to my seat in the theater, and it feels like an incredible cinematic achievement. I felt thoroughly sucked into the world of this movie -- a pretty unpleasant sensation, all things considered. Many shots give an incredible sense of claustrophobia. The camera work gives off a constant sense of frenetic energy that just makes you feel tense. The characters are all incredibly abrasive, and the actors all deliver world-class performances that completely sell that abrasiveness, all while talking over each other: no piece of dialog feels like it has room to breathe. Everything about this movie feels incredibly and unpleasantly crowded. It’s kind of amazing. It’s artfully done and incredibly immersive, but the world that it immerses you in is so unpleasant that I’m not surprised it got a relatively poor Cinemascore: this movie does not scratch the itch that typical moviegoers are used to having scratched, and in fact the main level it operates on is by making you itchy and refusing to scratch that itch. The ending of this movie is perfect, but it’s definitely not a crowd-pleaser that is going to leave you with a grin on your face as you leave the theater. I want to make it clear: these are all things that I love about this movie.

Adding to the visceral sense of unpleasantness is the fact that the film not only immerses you in a specific place (the diamond district of New York), but the perspective of a character who is pretty twisted, and lives an adrenaline-fueled life where every hour day is spent performing the incredible balancing act of borrowing money from one party to pay off his debts to another: it’s enough to give you second-hand anxiety as he weaves his way through a mess of loan sharks, trying not to lose his skin in the process. It’s like watching someone sprinting on a tightrope while juggling knives.

Howard Ratner (Adam Sandler) is a deeply flawed man with practically zero admirable or redeeming qualities, and yet he’s rendered in such incredible fidelity that everything about him feels believable -- and being thoroughly immersed in his perspective makes him deeply fascinating. Throughout the movie, I felt myself wanting to understand this character and what made him tick, and the movie delivers that in its third act with a scene of the variety that I like to call “the scene in the movie where the main character explains what the movie’s themes are.” If that description sounds reductive and dismissive, it’s not because I mean it to be that way: I love this scene. Howard Ratner (Adam Sandler) explains to Kevin Garnett (Kevin Garnett) what it is that makes him tick in a language that Garnett (and we, the audience) can understand: this anxiety-riddled thrill ride? This isn’t just the cost of doing business for him; he lives for this. “This is my fucking way. This is how I win.”

It’s a scene that’s almost as memorable as the line from Marriage Story where, in the midst of a fight between two people who are divorcing each other, Charlie (Adam Driver) punches the wall and screams, “you’re fucking insane! And you’re fucking winning!” It’s such a memorable moment that it’s no wonder that scene has become such an internet meme. Winner: Marriage Story

Best film of the year

It’s hard to overstate my love for Marriage Story. It’s one of those movies that just oozes competence from every pore, the kind of movie that makes me lean back in my chair and say, “This. This is how movies are supposed to be.” It’s so uniformly excellent that I hesitate to get specific with my praise, because while I can clearly put my finger on things that are great about it, the thing that I really love about it is all the things. I wouldn’t want to focus too hard on any one facet for fear of failing to recognize everything else about it that’s positively superb.

The set design is phenomenal. The film’s use of color is gorgeous. Noah Baumbach handles dialog in a way that makes you think “every movie should be like this.” Randy Newman’s score fits the film’s aesthetic to a T. And of course, the performances. Nearly every actor we see on screen delivers a performance that is Oscar-worthy: the array of character actors bat 1.000, and they’re not even the main event! Adam Driver gives the performance of a lifetime, and probably the only reason I’m not also saying the same thing about Scarlett Johansson is that she has to spend so much time sharing the screen with Laura Dern, who steals every scene that she’s in (based on Dern’s Best Supporting Actress award, it seems the Academy agrees).

Noah Baumbach gets great performances out of his actors, and he’s willing to frame the shot in a way that emphasizes the actor. There are so many shots that left me in awe of just how much confidence Baumbach has in his actors, his sheer willingness to just frame them in the middle of a shot and put the entire weight of a scene on their shoulders, only for them to deliver everything that’s expected of them and more. This film is beautiful from top to bottom, it has so much respect for its characters and it communicates all of that in a way that is just sublime.

Marriage Story is a movie about divorce. It has many incredibly emotional and contentious moments. If you have seen any part of this movie clipped or screenshotted on Twitter, it’s probably the scene of two characters shouting at each other, which really does feel like the performance of the year. I love everything about that scene. Two characters have reached a breaking point, and every bit of animus that has been stewing for the entire duration of their decade-long relationship comes to the surface all at once. It’s enough to make you terrified of what’s going to happen.

I like movies that make me uncomfortable. I like movies that are unsettling and sometimes almost anxiety-inducing, that have fully realized characters, even if those characters are abrasive. I love movies that are deeply immersive and pull me into their world, even if that world isn’t a place that is pleasant. For all of these reasons, if you’ve read this post this far, I think my pick for film of the year should be obvious. Winner: Uncut Gems

#movies #uncut gems #marriage story #star wars #Bong Joon-ho #1917 #all joking aside everything in this post is 100% my sincere and honest opinions about these movies

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nodesiretogrowup · 5 years

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I LOVED THIS EPISODE! It was nice to have a kid-focused episode. The past few have focused a lot on the adults, so it was nice to see the kids in the spotlight again. It was SO COOL to see the kids playing off each other. We NEED more of it next season. Lena is my daughter, so I was happy to see her back, though I’d rather she not have to suffer.

Spoilers and more detailed thoughts below:

YAY NERF GUNS! Also, it was super sweet of the boys to reassure Lena that they know she’s a good guy now.

LOVED all the different jammies on display. I usually rock something similar to Lena and Violet. Dewey in the footie pajamas gives me LIFE. And Huey with his hat. I’m surprised he didn’t say something along the lines of “Warm head, warm dreams.”

Super cute that Lena set this all up. My baby wants friends.

“Self defense weapons, all manner of booby trap.” I feel like Violet would have suggested having those no matter what. I love my slightly feral nerd daughter.

Beakley for BEST bodyguard.

“Nothing weird is gonna happen at this slumber party.” Webby, babe, you’re just ASKING for trouble.

Lena’s little song and cake! MY HEART! I think Huey may have drawn some inspiration from that cake, lol

“Time loses all meaning in the infinite night of the shadow realm.” HELP THIS CHILD! And again, I think Donald would be the perfect parent for her.

“You are a wordsmith!” Webby LOVES her shadow gf.

THE FRIENDSHIP BRACELETS! AND THEY MATCHED EACH KID! HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE THIS GIRL!

Of course Louie is suspicious. He was wary of his mom AND just spent the last episode getting betrayed by Goldie.

“You literally sound like that now.” Huey, you need to learn how to read a room.

“That’s just my voice, I can’t help it!” I feel ya there. And a nice bit of foreshadowing

“I’ve found it’s clearer to convey no emotion whatsoever.” Also not a good way to talk to people.

Aw, Lena. Like Webby said, you don’t have to prove yourself. That seems to be a running theme this season. Dewey wants to prove himself to his mom, Louie wants to prove himself to anyone, and Della wants to prove that she is a good mom and fits into this family.

“That makes you super-extra-good, right?” “Math checks out.” You two share one (1) brain cell and that’s adorable.

Webby has no table manners and that is valid.

“LET’S EAT PURE SUGAR!” That is just a bad idea in general, much less for Huey.

What happened to Huey? Why was his mouth all grey?

“You know who my best friend is?” “Me.” “Sleep.” A.) Mood, B.) Dewey’s face is PRICELESS! You can’t win them all.

Sleeping Beakley is TERRIFYING.

“It might be sleepy-time.” Webby, you are TOO PRECIOUS!

Anyone getting some Nightmare on Elm Street vibes? Specifically the third one? I guess that was what they were going for, what with the title and all.

Concerned girlfriend is concerned.

MY POOR BABY! HASN’T SHE SUFFERED ENOUGH?!

“Do you need, *whispers* you-know-what paper?” Not sure if Beakley told her toilet isn’t something you should go around saying or if Webby doesn’t want to embarrass anyone. Either way, cute!

Lena pulls of Dewey’s do well.

One of the most precious moments ever! And a reminded that they are still pretty young.

WEBBY IS SUCH A GOOD FRIEND/GIRLFRIEND! *happy tears*

LOVED the shot of Lena with the stars reflected in her eyes.

Heck, the animation for all the dreams is AMAZING! I love how you can INSTANTLY TELL whose dream we’re in.

I’m glad they figured out that they were in a shared dream early. Gives us more time for wacky dream shenanigans!

Webby/hamburgers is otp

I like that they used the “you can’t read in dreams” thing. Nice touch. It looks like at least Launchpad, Scrooge, and Donald had a corresponding emoji.

“Why are you dialing a banana?” DREAM LOGIC!

SWORD HORSE!

Webby CANONLY kins Scrooge!

EXTREMELY EXTREME OBSTACLE COURSE

Louie putting a stop to unicorn shenanigans before they begin.

Those directions. Better than Penny’s at least.

Violet is blunt and to the point. She’s probably a Virgo.

LIVING for all the cartoony sound effects!

POOR LENA! AND YAY SUPPORTIVE WEBBY! Also, love Louie in the background being confused as fuck.

That cute little smile! I WOULD DIE FOR LENA!

I don’t think the whole “don’t wake a sleepwalker” thing is actually valid in real life, but here it’s probably a goodish idea. Magic is weird and unpredictable.

“LET’S FLY, BECAUSE WE CAAAAAAN!” I like the way you think. I love that Louie’s wings have dollar signs. And Lena’s bat wings are DOPE.

“I HATE WALKING!” Louie is MOOD.

Huey and Dewey crashing, lol

That unicorn got DEEP. And I now crackship him and Manny.

Lena walked into Snow White.

“I probably grew horrible bat wings for non-evil reasons.” It’s because you are a baby goth.

“I ATE A BUG!” Dewey, you are a special boy and that’s valid.

“Ew, Webby, why is there a school in your dream?” Again, Louie is MOOD.

Ugh, I wish I could make out what the sign in front of the school says. I see EXCELLENCE though.

Dewey CONFIRMED HSM fan. And I’m getting some Saved By The Bell vibes. He’s binged ALL the high school classics. This is probably how Mabel dreamed high school would look like before the crushing slap of reality hit her.

His hair and jacket. Too cute, expect for his hair being alive. That was freaky. I fear for him when he learns what high school is actually like.

His song. Dewey is in for HEARTBREAK. LIVE YOUR DREAM WHILE YOU CAN!

I know most people are going with Dewey is bi after the whole romantic interest thing, but I feel like he might be aro/ace. Dewey is threatened by choosing a romantic partner. I’ve kind of always seen him as ace though, so it might just be me. Or it could be him trying to figure out his sexuality, which is cool. I love that the crew threw that in. The boy is not straight in any way though.

I love that Dewey’s singing rivals are Beagle Boys.

“Who knows what that’s about?” “I have some theories.” SYMBOLISM!

Dewey Dude is upsetting even BEFORE it turned into Magica.

The balance between comedy and STRAIGHT UP HORROR was handled well.

Lena has watched Wizard of Oz.

“You ruined my big dance!” Priorities, Dewey. Louie looks relieved though.

Dewey’s hair looked super cute when it was wet.

Why did he and Lena taste the water? Is there some sort of significance there?

“I just failed a class called Dew-ology.” “Well I’m the class Dew-torian.” That’s stretching it, Dewey.

“I gotta get outta here.” Haha, Dewey’s dream is Huey’s nightmare.

Louie-field. I WANT PLUSHIES. Also, Louie confirmed furry?

“This is your dream? To be even lazier?” Don’t be a hater, Huey! Louie’s got the right idea.

Wonder if Beakley taking care of Louie-field means anything.

Seriously, Huey is SUCH a hater! He wants out of Dewey’s dream and he mocks Louie’s.

“HOW ARE YOU SLEEP-SLEEPING?” Don’t hate cause you ain’t. Also, I have napped in a dream once so....

Louie’s sleep face is MAJESTIC. HE’S BEAUTY, HE’S GRACE.

“I just am.” Louie is so wise.

Wolf Lena is BEST

Violet, there is a better way to talk about people’s psychological issues.

Why would you choose the litter box?

“WHY, HUEY, WHY?!” No arguments here.

I’m the eldest sibling like Huey and I’m the shortest of the three of us, so I get you, Huey. But there are better, cooler, less upsetting ways to manifest that dream. Like switching bodies with a tall person.

His legs make rubber band noises when he moves.

“Don’t listen to him! Follow your lame dreams.” What a supportive brother.

Huey’s dream is Dewey’s nightmare. Nice.

I too use my feet to do things, like opening doors or getting stuff off the floor. But opening jars of FOOD?! UNSANITARY AND YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER.

Someone is a Spinel fanboy.

Or is he Slender-Huey?

“And it’s my dream to be in a montage.” While it is pretty dope, why does Dewey get two dreams?! Greedy little bastard. Are we sure he’s not the evil triplet, lol.

HERE’S HOW PHOOEY CAN WIN! Liked that they implied he’s the evil one. He’s a yellow, less 90s Dippy Fresh.

JUST SAY NO TO PHOOEY! His name means the f-word.

MORE DRAGON BALL Z!

NERD ALERT!

Huey has found a kindred soul.

I like that Violet even has Quackfaster as a librarian.

“It’s almost 6am!” Your old man is showing. Sidenote-I tend to wake up around 6. I’m old.

“Go get some jobs!” Scrooge, do you know about child labor laws?

This is the second episode of this set that Scrooge comes off as a bit of a prick.

POOR LENA! At least all the kids care about her. The poor girl needs some friends.

“She’s gonna be cold without her sweater!” His heart’s in the right place.

I love that all the kids jump in after Webby immediately. NEVER LEAVE A MAN BEHIND.

Louie just spinning in the background.

“I think this is more nightmare.” Thank you, Captain Obvious.

I want that castle as a playset.

Good lord this scene was hard to watch. It reminded me a lot of Raven in Ever After High (and Teen Titans Raven too). She’s so afraid of being predestined to become evil that it’s consuming her to the point that she can’t see anything else and feels stuck. Some of this really hit close to home for me because I deal with depression and anxiety and when a big episode hits it’s hard to find my way out. Luckily, just like Lena, I have a good support system.

Magica gaslighting Lena was really upsetting to see.

Lena becoming Magica then a literal monster? LET MY DAUGHTER HAVE PEACE!

“Ugh, why does everything I say sound sarcastic?” Callback

Was that a hint at a Gargoyles reboot? I JOKE TO EASE THE PAIN!

#youtriedDewey

Dewey’s spinny eyes, lol

Webby is most competent fighter

Poor Louie. The past two episode have not been kind to him physically.

Lena will ALWAYS be there for Webby.

POOR LENA!

HURRAY FOR SUPPORTIVE FRIENDS!

FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC, BITCH!

“It’s fine, FINE!” Just wait for puberty, Huey. It will be slightly less disturbing.

I TOTALLY CALLED THAT THIS WAS A PLOT FOR MAGICA TO GET HER POWERS BACK! YAY FOR BEING RIGHT!

Magica is meth aunt.

“I don’t need you. You need me!” THAT’S MY GIRL!

FERAL

I bet Magica is gonna lie about still having powers so she can get close enough to Lena to regain her powers and stab everyone in the back. Whether or not she succeeds...

Boyd and Lena should start a club. The “I thought/felt like I was a real, flesh and blood being, had an existential crises over it, and am trying to deal with my evil relative” club. Huey’s the moderator, he’s working on his consoling badge.

#ducktales #dt spoilers #MORE KID EPISODES

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mentalcurls · 5 years

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7. Ho fatto un casino

It’s been almost a week but here I am, back with my thoughts on episode 7 of the 1st season of Skam Italia. I talk about being calm and cool and chill, about toxic masculinity and the parallelisms between Silvia and Eva. The results for the Bechdel test for this episode are at the end as usual. Enjoy!

the episode starts on the most lovely note: the girls, alone, having a conversation about about a really interesting, engaging and thought-provoking topic *drumroll* the Villa guys. Yay.

the silence of the girlsquad while Silvia talk about Formentera, the perplexed stares

Eleonora is holding back from commenting so hard! Her “What are you doing with that sandwich?” is a bit judge-y, sure, but not as judge-y as the instinctive “What are doing destroying that poor sandwich?” I would have gone for

that fake nonchalance from Silvia! She’s being low maintenance! She doesn’t need to talk, it’s cool that the guy she likes made out with another girl, it’s fine! She didn’t take it badly, “ti pare”?

IDK why but I love Ele looking back towards Eva to look for confirmation and support when Silvia seems not to know what she’s talking about

Silvia is cool as a cucumber and just casually piling on justification upon justification and diverting the conversation as far from Edoardo as possible

she’s so casual!!! She made out with someone while she was so drunk she can’t even remember who it was and it’s whatever!! Chill!!!

and to continue the streak of super casual, nonchalant people, here’s Eva asking about Federico, just out of innocent curiosity, you know

that thank you kiss (that goes on for nearly 20 seconds) is completely chill as well

Gio: promises Eva 2am crepes also Gio: actually only ever brings Eva coffee from a vending machine that he only got because the machine ate his money in the first place

Eva casually asking Gio where he is going with his friends, despite complaining a lot in previous episodes about said friends and the person Gio becomes when he’s with them: not out of character at all, Gio won’t notice anything! She’s suave!

cue Gio noticing, but being too kiss drunk and letting himself be convinced (and oh how the tables have turned! This is some mild gaslighting from Eva!)

super casual, super smooth public declarations of love

and then Federica, cool as anything, asking about Marti’s relationship status

this clip was titled “Il panico” and I love this title so much. I would have gone for something like “And everyone was chill” but this antiphrasis-cum-Silvia-quote is pretty good too

going back a second, Marti’s face while Gio and Eva kiss! He’s awkward and avoiding looking at them exactly like the other girls, but there’s so much annoyance there too! We’ve already seen him break up at least one of their kisses (first clip with the “A zozzoni!”) and I bet he’d totally pull an Ammucchiate!Niccolò here if he thought he could get away with it

that pool is a really cool place, I really want Marti to take Nico there at some point cause it fits his aesthetic for romantic places perfectly

how smooth, how suave of Gio to lose control of his skateboard and end up falling on his ass in the mud

Marti’s hair! It’s tremendous! Baby, cut it please, I’m begging you (AND I KNOW THIS IS AN UNPOPULAR OPINION OK but you can’t deny he needs a bit of order on that head)

M: “I see things are going better” E: “Yeah, [...] everything is fine” COOL AS CUCUMBERS, the both of them. The fake nonchalance. The facade of chill.

then Eva swallows, takes a deep breath and it all comes crashing down

Eva is 100% talking to Marti instead of one of the girls because they would obviously tell her off for listening to a dumb boy’s advice and she’s scared they would turn on her for “making” another boy cheat like it happened with Laura over Gio, when in reality the girls would/will take her side both with the Federico/Alice situation and the Giovanni situation; on the other hand, she is convinced from their previous conversation Marti is on her side, she’s looking for validation of what she did when she took his advice despite feeling stupid for taking it herself, but she also wants someone who will tell her off for cheating on Gio, who maybe will fight her about it cause it’ll be cathartic, so Marti is the obvious choice of confidant here

and Marti is taken aback: I don’t think he expected Eva to actually go to Laura, Laura to actually tell the truth and most of all to cause such an earthquake with a half-assed line about going to the source

is Marti that concerned about Federica that he really thinks of her first when Eva tells him about kissing “Fede” or is he that unaware of what Eva’s social life has looked in the past few months and of the hierarchy at school? Both, I suspect. He’s a disaster.

“Hai capito” he’s so shook! He doesn’t know how to react! His mind starts going a million miles an hour

and again! He’s Gio’s best friend, he’d put himself in front of a bullet for Gio, but he makes it sound like he’s siding with Eva, like he’s giving advice based on what’s best for her and Eva believes him without a second thought! I just can’t with these kids. She even thanks him!

the shots focused on Gio skateboarding down in the pool are from both Eva and Marti’s point of view not only in the sense that they come from their position, where they’re sitting close to one another, but because they both see him in the same way: boyfriend material

what’s Silvia doing wearing that ugly jacket?? I mean she looks great anyways, but it’s so ugly and plasticky and it doesn’t compliment her figure at all??

and oh, this poor baby. She’s been so brainwashed into believing a) that she needs a man; b) that her self-worth lies in the social status of the man she’ll get herself; c) that men treating women like shit is par for the course and a sign they actually like them, they’re just being manly she just. Doesn’t. Get. It. Her first thought when Eva asks about Federico is that she likes him, not that she likes gossip, or that she needs blackmail to get rid of the guy who we know and the girls know has been hitting on her, despite knowing she has a boyfriend (which would have been my first thought tbh). She thinks that Edo’s silence is jealousy and she’s absolutely devastated when she finds out about the lows teenage boys can get to when it comes to status, sex and proving their masculinity

Eva and Silvia’s clothes have similar colors in this clip, but inverted (pink shirt and blue jacket for Silvia, blue t-shirt and red-purple shirt over it for Eva) which I think is significant: everyone knows Silvia’s been with Edo because she’s advertised it to be more popular, while Eva’s doing her best to prevent her story of her kiss with Fede from coming out, so the colors are inverted; at the same time, they are part of the same color families because Silvia and Eva have both “been” with one of the Villa boys and therefore they’re both on that wall and in both their cases there’s a third guy involved (Gio and Rocco Martucci); Eleonora on the other hand is in black, neutral.

and Ele calls the wall “posto di merda” and I couldn’t agree more: it is a sanctuary of sexism and misogyny, a place specifically created to celebrate the guys’ sexuality, while demeaning and ridiculing girls for theirs, along of course with other, “lesser” boys who are not in their circle and don’t have as much sex (in the Villa guys’ perception) as them or don’t get girls as hot as theirs: it’s obviously the new frontier of a classic of toxic masculinity, comparing dick sizes, with a dash more misogyny thrown in for good measure, and it’s public in a way notches on the bedframe (another great toxic masculinity classic) aren’t, since those are a twisted way of demonstrating how good you are in bed to women along with how you’re a casanova not looking for anything serious, the wall is a self-congratulatory group activity for the elite, accessible to anyone in theory, but unknown to most people; the only thing I have to say that’s even just vaguely positive about the wall compared to the Penetrators sweatshirts in the OG is that it’s less about “possession” of the girls, who are still objectified, but are not marked in an outward way to indicate they “belong” to a specific group or a specific member of the group

EVA, GUARDAMI EVA: why the fuck would you call him? You already know he won’t take you seriously, he’s never taken you seriously while talking to you face to face, why would he be any better on the phone!

Eva just really doesn’t know how to lie. She’s shit at it, with anybody. The only secrets she manages to keep are those who only require her to omit the truth without having to make up excuses: the only lie we see her successfully tell is about spending Easter with Sara and Laura, while was with Gio, and even then she kind of betrays herself later when she tells her mom her and Laura haven’t been talking much since they were put in different classes

I’ve been disproved! She successfully pretends Fede is her mom on the phone right then. Whoops.

cue Federico disregarding Eva’s requests and instructions because he’s a self-centered, sexually objectifying ass as usual and calling her and making fun of her

I don’t have much to say about the conversation between Gio and Eva on the couch, except that Gio is obviously avoiding the words “drug” and “marijuana” because he wants to ignore the potential addiction he has shown he could develop, that conversation in which people disagree on something important but them man distracts the woman by being silly always make me uncomfortable cause I feel he thinks her thoughts are valid and that Eva must be feeling so shit when Gio tells her he’s decided to tell her everything and never lie AND IT’S BECAUSE OF MARTI who told her not to communicate with Gio

fully siding with Eleonora on the wedges discourse

so much sarcasm in that conversation at Baretto

Sana’s first response to Silvia, who treated her like shit and was racist towards her, is to repay her in brutal honesty, and it’s honestly cruel sometimes, but genius cause what can Silvia do or answer?

“Sticazzi degli altri” and this moment is so important! Everything the girls have been trying to teach Silvia in the past few months about self worth, confidence, about not giving too much weight to other people’s opinions and about feminism coagulates in this single moment for Silvia: she couldn’t be low-maintenance enough for Edoardo to keep her? Fine, now she’s gonna be fucking high maintenance and loud and proud and hand him his ass.

except it’s all facade, she’s still a scared, naive girl who’s a bit of a pushover inside, so when she actually confronts her monster she caves immediately when the interaction doesn’t play out as she envisioned, and in the end she comes out of it destroyed and with the idea that being confident, proud etc. is only harmful for her social status

Silvia can’t even get Edo to listen at her! Not until one of the other girls arrives and calls him out

that “Ciao!” is the epitome of the fake confidence Silvia’s portraying, she’s trying to be cool and suave and destroy him like Ele or Sana would (and will)

and what an haphazard, unthreatening group the girlsquad looks when compared to the Villa guys, all in black, far taller, forming a more compact front, arms on shoulders, exchanging looks behind Edo

“If you think you can reduce me to an X on a wall” that would be bad enough! But even worse, Silvia is not even an X, she’s not even on Edo’s radar enough for him to know her name, despite her giving him her first time!

Silvia is a cautionary tale for teaching girls about consent too, both because of how she handled the sex with Edo and making out with Martucci, and conversely because despite all the signals and implied messages from Edo telling her no, that he’s not interested in her, she still continues to go after him

and like, I said before that I got why Edoardo is doing this, but he’s such an ASSHOLE about it, I wanna punch him in the face so bad

he throws her off straight away, pretending he doesn’t know what she’s talking about (Silvia should have predicted that, really, as I said before, it’s an ELITE thing, not many people are supposed to know about it so why would Edo acknowledge that something exists, that he knows anything about it and that it’s a secret Silvia has been allowed into too?

then he interrupts her! And I don’t think I need to say anything more about manterrupting than what has already been said

Silvia is completely frozen. This is the man of her dreams. She had sex with him. Only a little over a week earlier. The entire world crashes down on her. He doesn’t seem to remember her at all.

and after confusing her, breaking her heart, disproving her theory, treating her like a child and humiliating her, Edo just has to dig a bit deeper still and mock her

re: Ele’s roast, I’m just gonna 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

the girls though: while Edo is talking to Silvia, Sana and Ele are simmering with barely contained rage, while Fede is as chided as Silvia is and Eva is worried about Silvia, but also about Federico, I bet she was checking what he was doing out of the corner of her eye for the whole conversation; then when Ele talks, and afterwards, while they leave, their bearing completely changes, they stand up straighter, their chins are high and they leave with nonchalance and an air of superiority

Giovanni complaining about not answering perfectly a particularly hard question he was asked in a test is such a classico mood though

Eva is so cute, being worried for Silvia and checking in on her

Alice has anger management issues obviously, but I stan Mr Boccia’s female colleague who is an impressive example of female solidarity and teaching the right messages, even if her methods are not very conventional of pedagogically great; basically the whole PE department in this school is 💯

and then there’s the fight: Alice arrives with a group of friends, like a proper ambush; I love killer Sana with the dictionary, that poor girls on the other end of things will have some very nasty bruises; all the girls get in the fray, even Silvia and they form a shield behind which they hide Eva

Ele is super interesting to me here: she’s in proper boxer stance, like she knows how to fight, and she probably does, doesn’t she? What with being a beautiful girl in a big city in a sexist world and what with Filippo being her brother and gay and flamboyant and probably getting bullied when they were both younger. On top of this, as soon as Alice calls Eva “troia” she gets mad as a hornet ‘cause she just can’t stand people who use the derogatory terms that condemn women simply on the basis of how much sex they’ve had and stigmatize sex workers, especially when it’s women against other women (see also ep.1 with Laura calling Eva “puttana”)

and after that, much as she won’t believe it, Silvia’s moment with Edoardo is forgotten; more importantly, though, Alice and Federico’s fight during PE is forgotten, as is the fact that this situation is his fault since he cheated; no, the thing that lasts in people’s mind is the catfight between girls outside the school gate and how that redhead from 3B is a whore

Bechdel test: this episode doesn’t pass the Bechdel test. I’ve thought quite a bit about it, because there are technically two conversation that pass the test: one while the girls are at Baretto, in which they talk about Fede’s pink wedge shoes, but I decided not to count it just like I didn’t count the conversation on the windowsill about Margot in the last episode, cause it fades in and the topic changes after just a few seconds; the other immediately follows and it consists of Silvia telling the others she got 7 in Maths and that she found the ananas cake on a website: I decided not to count this one because it almost completely one-sided and Silvia starts talking about Edoardo the very next minute.

This post is part of my complete series of meta about Skam Italia season 1. If you’d like to read more of my thoughts about the other episodes, you can find the mastepost linked in the top bar on my blog under SKAMIT: EVA. Cheers!

#skam italia #skamit s1 #eva brighi #martino rametta #skamit meta #giovanni garau #silvia mirabella #edoardo incanti #eleonora sava #federica cacciotti #sana allagui #federico canegallo #alice (skam italia)#skamit #a. writes #1x07 ho fatto un casino

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