#and when i came to i had a drawing of jesper

[redamancyys]

All Around Me - Kaz Brekker

WARNING(S) ◆ smut, piv sex, oral (fem recieving), cursing, unedited.

WORDS ◆ 3.7k

REQUEST(S) ◆ based off of this request, though i did stray a little. basically kaz and the reader have sex for the first time!

AUTHOR'S NOTE ◆ sooooo this ended up being a lot steamy-er than i intended, but i hope that you enjoy it, because i definitely liked writing this one!

To say that the desire was eating you both up from the inside was an understatement. 

Kaz had never wanted a person the way that he wanted you. It was a raw, carnal desire that came from deep within him. He had never been a person who ached for touch until he met you, he wished that he was able to be the man that could grab you by your hips without spiraling into a panic, or could kiss you for as long as you wanted without having to take a break because his internal thoughts were becoming too much to handle. 

You would always explain to him that it wasn’t his fault. 

Hushed whispers, your hands placed ever so carefully on his clothed body, trying to keep him grounded whenever the aversion got too bad. You had seen him at his worst, where he had to put his head in between his knees in order to stop the flashbacks from coming back to him. Though sometimes no matter how hard you tried, Kaz would morph back into that little boy again, feeling his brother's dead motionless flesh against his own as he floated back ashore. He would feel alone, no matter how much you tried to explain that you were here, he didn’t have to worry, he wasn’t there, he was safe.

And what was even worse, he felt like he was somehow disappointing you. He was with you, but you couldn’t even touch his bare skin without him spiraling into a mess. No matter how many times you explained that you were there for him, that you were always going to make sure that he was okay, there was still a piece of him that wished he was different. But Kaz’s wishes never came true, it would never magically go away. He had to face this head on if he was ever going to be able to properly love you, and for you, he was willing to try anything. 

That had been a few months ago, and since then the two of you had worked very hard to overcome his aversion. You went slow, placing bare hands against each other, small kisses, anything that you could think of that would be enough to help but also just enough to not make Kaz feel uncomfortable. It had gotten to the point where you two were able to cuddle with one another, his hands could go up and down your spine and paint small drawings on the skin of your arm and legs. And you could do the same towards him. After a while, you both were able to take your tops off, explore those parts of your bodies, and every time you went farther, the desire began to creep its way into both of your chests. Both of you were aware what the next step was, you both weren’t dumb, but neither of you had the inclination to talk about it. It was like the two of you were dancing around the conversation, doing everything that you could to not bring it up. 

Wylan and Jesper were always talking about it. Well, that was a lie, Jesper was usually the one that would talk about it with you. He always talked about the pining, the excitement of getting to explore your lover's body . . . it was something that you wanted but had never experienced before and before you knew it, you were sitting on your shared bed with Kaz, trying to concentrate on a book while he did his paperwork at his desk. You took a moment to stare at him, watching as his hands pressed against the paper, quill etching sounds into the silence between the both of you. You took your bottom lip into your teeth, sucking in a harsh breath. You could do this. 

“Kaz, I wanted to talk to you about something.” 

You could’ve gone about it a different way, because the moment Kaz stopped what he was doing and turned to face you, there was a hint of worry in his expression. Most of the time when a person told another that they had to talk to them about something, it was bad news, and you were quick to assure him that it was nothing of the sort. “Nothing bad, I promise. I just wanted to bring an idea up to you.” His face immediately softened, one that you knew he didn’t share with many. You took a moment to study his expressive eyes, your own going from them to his lips, the ones that you wished were kissing the delicate skin on your body. Giving him a tiny smile, you said, “I wanted to see what you . . . thought about having sex with me? We’ve been getting to that point for a while now and I just thought that it wouldn’t hurt to ask if you wanted to go all the way?” 

This was definitely something that he wasn’t expecting to come out of his mouth, especially because of the unspoken barrier between the both of you when it came to talking about these types of things. Of course he wanted to, saints, if he could he would take you right then and there but you and him knew that it would take a lot more mental preparation on his end for this to happen. And perhaps for a moment you thought that you had struck a nerve with him, that he would dismiss the idea and you would leave to compose yourself, but that was far from the truth. Instead he set down the quill and turned to face you completely, his gloved hands playing with one another as an attempt to ground. You didn’t move, eyes attentively staring, waiting for him to say something. Kaz eventually opened his mouth to say, “Of course I want to have sex with you.” He said it as though you were dumb thinking that he wasn’t, but you knew that this was his way of trying to guard himself from the actual thoughts that came into his head. “I think I just need a little time to prepare first-” “Yes! I know, I just wanted to make sure you were comfortable first,” You cut him off, not wanting him to think that you were going to pressure him. 

Soon enough you two were discussing the logistics, almost as if you were scheduling a business meeting of a sort. It made you chuckle at first, but as the days went by, closer to the date that the two of you planned to finally go the final step, your nerves began to jumble up. 

~

You sat down at the edge of his bed, very reminiscent of a few days ago when you popped the question, but instead of Kaz sitting at his desk, he was sitting beside you. His breathing was slightly rigid, he was nervous which you completely understood. In order to comfort him, you placed your hand on his gloved one, looking at him with a look of kindness in an attempt to show him that you were nervous too. 

“I love you,” You said to him. 

“I love you too, Y/N.” 

One finger at a time, you began to pull his gloves off of his hand, and then the other one, setting the pair onto the bedside table. You held one of his hands with yours while the other one made its way to the back of his neck, pressing soft kisses to his lips. Kaz responded by putting his hand on your waist, eagerly kissing you back. He pulled you closer to him, until you got the idea of straddling his waist, legs on either side of him as you sat on his lap. This kissing went on for a while, semi for comfort but also for pleasure, as you knew that you would never get tired of kissing Kaz Brekker. His lips tasted like honeyed tea and you relished in the notion that you would be the only one who ever got to taste such a sweet thing. 

You were still sitting on his thighs and you needed him more than ever now. That familiar feeling that bubbled up inside of you whenever you two got this far began to resurface, causing the kissing to become even more fast paced, filled with want and need. Though the most enjoyable part was that the two of you were having fun, taking moments to stop and admire one another. For a moment a sly smile came across his lips and you wiped it away with a kiss, going back to the fast pace that had been set before. Your hands came and tentatively went under his shirt, feeling the taut skin of his chest with calm and courteous fingers, not wanting to upset him, though clearly beginning to fog up the idea of being gentle. The thought of him above you with a body like that? It made you falter in your movements. He was beautiful, and you were sure that you would never allow him to forget it. 

Using the break in your concentration to his advantage, Kaz began mouthing along your skin, knowing that your neck was sensitive in a multitude of places and skimming your skin with his teeth ever so gently, hands pulling up your shirt above your head. His eyes scanned your body, raising an eyebrow. “No bra?” He asked, making you shy away and look anywhere but at his face. You didn’t reply, but he seemed to not like that. His hand came and grabbed your chin, forcing you to look at him. You gave a small smile, “I wanted to be comfy.” He hummed, somewhat disappointed in your answer but not disappointed at how compliant you seemed to be with him. Kaz went back to kissing your neck, teeth grazing along your soft skin, making you jump whenever he bit down on a particular spot. 

You were beginning to grow impatient. Perhaps it was with the way that he was worshiping you, wanting to kiss every single inch of you and make you keel into his touch over and over again. Or maybe it was because no one had ever made you feel this way before. You hadn’t been with others before, never trying to get this far with the men of Ketterdam for fear of ruin or awkwardness in the morning. You had only longed for Kaz before. 

His hands found your breasts, squeezing them and kneading them together, fingers coming to pinch your nipples. Your back arched into him and you almost fell over on top of him, using your hands on his muscles to stop you. You reached and decided you wanted to please him, to show him how much you wanted him. You trailed your hands under his shirt and came to the band of his pants, pushing your fingers past it and making your way down. Before you could hit his obvious hard on, one of his own hands came and grasped your wrists, pulling your hand away. You looked up, thinking that you did something wrong. Tilting your head, you gave him a silent what? Maybe you had made him uncomfortable, and he was trying to come up with a way to tell you off. 

Though that didn’t seem to be the case when Kaz’s lips offered a smirk. 

“I’m not done with you yet,” Kaz explained. In one movement he put his hands to your back and flipped you two over, him now on top of you. Your head hit the mattress with a small humph and wondered what he had in store for you. 

You worked with him to shimmy your pants and panties off, throwing them to some side of the room. His hands splayed against your thighs and you watched with an open mouth to see what he was going to do. He gave you a look, a familiar one that reminded you that you were actually here with him, no one else, the two of you were doing this amazing thing together. Your heart swelled with adoration as you thought that this was the man that you loved, the one that you trusted more than anyone else in the entire world. You were also well aware of the slick that was beginning to coat your thighs, body betraying you and showing him how much you wanted him, how you ached for him. Kaz seemed to like it though, bringing his flesh hand to your slit and scooping some of it up. When he brought his hand back up, you could see the way that it glistened on his skin, popping a finger into his mouth and humming sinfully at the taste. He did it again and again, humming every single time your arousal hit his tongue. You looked down with heated cheeks, feeling a little embarrassed that you were getting so worked up over something so small. “You taste . . .” He trailed off, bringing his tongue to your folds and swiping up from your hole to your clit. “Amazing.” 

“It’s all for you,” You said, wiggling your hips and urging him to pleasure you again. Kaz smirked, feeling a sense of pride wash over him at your words. He brought a finger to you and pushed it in, watching your mouth open into a wide ‘O’ at the feeling. He curled it up, making your muscles tighten around him. Kaz built a steady pace and he came back up to your face, pressing a kiss to your cheek sweetly as if he couldn’t hear the lewd sounds that were being created when he added a second finger in. 

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do this,” He said, towering over you. His thumb rubbed against your clit while his fingers fucked into you. “To see you under me like this.” The both of you seemed to have this desire for each other for the longest time. 

You moaned out at his words, thighs clenching around his hand to keep him there. You couldn’t respond, too busy thinking about the steady fire that was building in you. You reached to climb higher, hoping he would grant you some kind of release. He didn’t give it to you though. Instead, whenever you were getting to that tipping point, he would stop all of his movements altogether until you stopped shaking, then repeat the process over and over again. It was making you go crazy, how he had the power to push you towards release but he just wouldn’t do it.

You opened your mouth to speak but you couldn’t. As if to test you further, he pushed a third finger into you, making you moan out his name loud and roll your eyes to the back of your skull. His thumb kept rubbing languid circles on your clit. You thought if you stayed quiet you could sneak an orgasm, cut him off guard. But as if he heard your thoughts, his movements stalled and he put his other hand firmly on your hips so you couldn’t even move against his statue-like hand. His dark eyes bore into your own and you squeezed around his fingers. “You make me feel so good, Kaz.” The praise fell from your lips with ease, lava pooling in your stomach as if threatening to burst at any moment. If only he would just rub a little bit more . . .

He pulled his hand away from you. Kaz didn’t even respond to your statement and you wondered if you said something wrong, if he had enough. And he had enough all right, but not enough of you. He wanted to see you cum, just around his cock and not his fingers. But you couldn’t hear what he was thinking, which made you whimper when he pulled himself away fully, standing at the edge of the bed. You opened your legs up to him, the farthest that you could go without hurting yourself and hoping that it would make him come back to you quickly. Your clit was aching from several denied orgasms, almost thinking about pulling your hand down to finish yourself off, though deciding against it when knowing Kaz would never allow something like that. He liked seeing you writhing like this. 

Kaz’s hands shed all his clothing. He wasn’t exactly putting on a show for you but you marveled anyways, watching the way that his muscles flexed when his shirt came off and how you wanted to lick all around his abdominal region and make your way all down to his cock, which was pressed against his stomach and slightly glistening with precum. It was big and felt your insides clench just thinking about it sliding into you. Once he was satisfied with his clothing off, he came back down to the bed and kneeled between your spread legs. 

“Kaz,” You whispered. “Please.” 

There was a hint of mischief in his eyes and it took all of your strength to not roll your eyes. “What do you want me to do to you?” Of course he wanted to hear you say it, to announce what he was inevitably going to do. You couldn’t ignore the way you loved how controlling he was with you, how he ordered you to do some things. And as much as you hated that he didn’t let you cum, you also loved how he would make you cum when he wanted you to, not you. He took his cock into his hands and rubbed the tip against your glistening folds, teasing you in the most sinful way possible.

“Please . . . Fuck me Kaz. Make me cum, I can’t take it anymore.” You just wanted him inside of you so badly, you were going to scream if this went on for any longer. He was right there, denying you both the pleasure. With a nod of his head, he pushed into you in one fluid motion. The feeling of him bottoming out inside of you made you grip onto his bicep, pulling him close so his warm chest was against your own again. He wasted no time moving, the sound of it deliciously sweet in your ears. Kaz took your legs and pushed them upwards, your feet hanging off of his shoulders and pressing your thighs further up until they were almost hitting the mattress. The change in position had you crying out, feeling him hit deeper inside of you. 

You could feel every single scrape of his cock against your walls, increasing that fire in your stomach until you were sure you were about to cum. He kept at it with such loyalty and vigor, his motivation to make you feel the best you ever had fuelling him to a tenfold. He was such a devoted man to begin with, so you should’ve known that he would handle things the same way in bed. 

You squeezed around him. “Please,” You whimpered. 

“Go ahead.” Those two words were all you needed, allowing yourself to scream out as your orgasm ripped through you, built up again and again and now it was finally here and it was amazing. It rippled through you like shockwaves, and made you go limp under him, legs completely boneless. Kaz didn’t let up as he rode through your orgasm, keeping the same pace with you. He was unforgiving, not giving you time to adjust and instantly making you feel the feeling of overstimulation. You were so sensitive to his cock ramming in and out of you that you could feel a second orgasm already building up. The tip of him hit a particularly nice spot in you and you yelled, curling your toes and your hands came to tangle and grip in his hair. You almost stopped for a moment thinking that you were hurting him, but when you looked at his face, you saw only fucked out bliss, white incisors showing in a ravenous grin. His eyes opened and they were almost fully dark, making you shiver. 

“You feel so good,” He mumbled, as though he was talking to himself. He was completely thrown into the pleasure that you were giving him, hot and warm and just perfect , like you were made for his cock to be rammed into over and over again. “Made for me, all for me.” He used your past words, them never losing their meaning no matter how many times he muttered under his breath. 

Time seemed to slow and grow faster at the same time, the whole room disappearing as both of you focused on only each other. You weren’t sure how many times he had made you cum at this point, you took whatever he gave you and took it well. When you got enough strength to crane your neck down, you watched as your hole enveloped his cock, it coming back out slicked with the remnants of your past orgasms. Kaz saw where your eyesight was and a sense of pride washed over him again. “Do you like watching that? Seeing how well you take me?” He asked, egging you on. His hand went to grab your own and placed it on your lower abdomen, and you could feel the skin slightly raising up every time he went into you. You could see it too, sliding in and out. Though, even if he didn’t want to admit it to himself, his movements were beginning to falter. He was becoming more sloppy with his hips and you knew he was about to cum. So, to give him what he had worked for, you wiggled your hips up, matching his hips. Your oversensitive clit rubbed against the base of his cock and you were clenching around him, and as if on cue, you were cumming again, feeling weak under him. Kaz wrapped his arms around you and pulled you up, his cock splitting you open until he was spilling inside of you. 

The moans that left his mouth were probably the hottest things you had ever felt in your life. You could feel his cum dripping down his cock, coating your thighs and dripping onto the soiled sheets. He put you down on the bed and followed you, eyes watching your own and kissing your sweaty forehead. He finally stopped moving and stilled inside, not wanting to leave you. He didn’t want to leave this moment and neither did you. 

#kaz brekker smut #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker fanfiction #kaz brekker #six of crows fanfiction #six of crows fanfic #six of crows #netflix shadow and bone #shadow and bone fanfiction #shadow and bone #kaz brekker angst #grishaverse fanfiction #grishaverse

[rainydaymiscellaneous]

Gorgeous (Kaz x fem!reader)

Summary: you get very drunk after being kidnapped and admit something to Kaz.

Trigger warnings: implications of SA, drunken antics

Jesper was beyond exasperated with you. For whatever reason you had drank yourself past your typical cut off point and put yourself into a stupor. You kept throwing back drink after drink until he finally cut you off. You had been so strange after one mission where you winded up being held captive. Kaz and Jesper retrieved you and by the time Jesper had found you, Kaz was standing over six bodies and you looked relieved by his presence. Jesper didn't find that odd, no not in Ketterdam. What he did find odd was your newfound avoidance to go home.

Kaz had finally walked through the door and Jesper ran over. "Kaz, thank the saints." He said relieved. "Didn't take you as religious." Kaz said, walking. "Well- not the point. Y/n is drunk-" Alarm bells went off in Kaz's mind. "She's drunk?" He asked. "Yes-" "she's never drunk." Kaz said, his grip tightening around his cane. "I know that. For some reason she's on this drinking binge and-" Kaz walked over to the bar, seeing play with a peanut shell. "Y/n." Kaz said.

"Kazzz!" You said, drawing out his name. Red graced your cheeks and it became glaringly obvious you were three sheets to the wind. Kaz lifted the empty glass in front of you, sniffing it. Whiskey flooded his sense of smell, making him stifle a cough. "I have been having sooo mush fun!" You said, Kaz raising a brow. You leaned towards him, Kaz moving back slightly. "Your eyez are so pretty!" You said, slurring as you did.

Kaz looked at you surprised. You never paid anyone a compliment, in fact you rarely said anything. "Words are secrets to a fools heart" you once said to him. Kaz didn't mind your quiet demeanor. It was what made you deadly.

To Kaz though, you were more than just a pretty face that could kill. You had this special way of making Kaz actually enjoy your presence. To many, you were an infamous figure. To him you were a beautiful storm.

You reached out your index finger, tapping his nose. Jesper was surprised you didn't lose your hand doing that action. "You are soooo cuttteee!" You giggled. No one had ever said he was cute. Deadly? All the time. An idiot? Most of the time that came from Inej when Kaz narrowly avoided death. Cute, however was unheard of as a category to describe him.

He grasped your hand and pulled it down to the table. "Y/n, we should get you home." He said. "Nooo!" You whined. "Why not?" He asked. "I don't wanna be alone!" You said. "You won't be alone, I'll be there." Kaz said. You looked almost... scared at the idea of going home. "Promise?" You muttered. "Yes. Now come on." He said. You nearly hit the floor, stumbling forward as you got up. Kaz gripped your arms to keep you in place. You looked as Jesper with a grin. "See you tomorrow buddy!" You said giving him finger guns. Inej, who just walked in nearly broke down laughing at the sight.

Kaz had to basically herd you out the door like a common sheep dog. You stumbled outside, Kaz finally putting his hand on your waist when you were out of sight of the gang. "Don't let them near me..." you mumbled. Kaz looked at you. "What?" He asked. "The Lions..." you mumbled. "Y/n, we're just going home, they won't find-" "thass how they got me last time" you said.

Kaz now had it click into place. You didn't feel safe at home anymore. Not after the Dime Lions managed to kidnap you. You stopped, Kaz looking over to see your eyes light up. "Puppy!" You said, seeing a stray dog. You rushed over, kneeling to it and petting it behind the ears. "Ohhh you're so sweettt! Whos a good boy! You! You are!" You slurred. Kaz couldn't help but crack a grin at the sight as he walked over to you and the dog. "Thas Kaz. He's gorgeous isn't he?" You "whispered" to the dog. Right now you were so drunk that your sense of volume was broken. What was a whisper to you was basically normal speech to Kaz.

"He is so good to me. Provides me with a job. Food. And I get to look at his pretty face everyday." You said. Kaz's grin grew. "Ah fuck I'm in love aren't I" you realized. Kaz froze. Sure, there was some undeniable chemistry between the two of you but this... this was big.

"You can't tell anyone. Issa secret. Shhhh!" You said to the dog. Kaz swallowed hard, staring at you. "Y/n we should... we should go." He said. You looked over your shoulder. "Kay. Bye doggy!" You said, walking back to Kaz. He couldn't take his eyes off you as you walked. There was no doubt in his mind that he loved you back. It was just telling you that that was the challenge. Plus, with your current level of intoxication, he didn't think it wise to say something you wouldn't remember.

You walked into your apartment, Kaz walking in behind you was you leaned against the doorway to your living room. You took off your boots and Kaz looked around, seeing the overturned chair and clearly moved table. "Did someone break in?" He asked. "Yeah. Lass week when I got kidnapped." You shrugged. Kaz looked at you confused. "You didn't set it back?" He asked. You looked at the chair and frowned, eyes distant. "I shouldn't have let my guard down." You muttered before walking upstairs. Kaz put a hand on the chair. "Leave it" you said, not turning to see him.

He stopped, following you up the stairs and watched you lay down. "Oooooh bad choice, really bad choice!" You said, abruptly getting back up and running to the bathroom. Kaz hesitated but followed you in, pulling back your hair as you threw up.

You groaned. "Drugs are bad, don't do them" you said, leaning back onto your wall behind you. Kaz rose a brow, seeing you eye him. You seemed tired and out of it. You shook your head with a sad laugh. "I muss be seriously fucked up to be hallucinating you" you breathed. He frowned. "I'm not a hallucination." He said. You chuckled. "You can't be real." You said. "What makes you say that?" He asked, looking at you. "Cuz you'd never hold my hair while I throw up. And you wouldn't have followed me home in the firss place." You declared. Kaz opened his mouth but you spoke again "My bess guess is that Jesper actually took me home. My mind juss likes you so much that" you tapped his nose again, him looking down at your finger as you did it "your gorgeous face iz juss what I see."

Kaz didn't understand the drunk logic but it seemed he couldn't convince you. You looked vacantly at the ceiling, sighing. "If you aren't real... then I have some things I wanna get off my chest." You said. "I don't think that's a wise idea-" "Sober me would tell the real you these things anyway. Iss only a matter of time." You said. Kaz hated the idea of you not truly consenting to having information shared with him, but it seemed you were deadset on telling him something.

"I wasn't juss attacked that night." You admitted. Kaz looked at you shocked. He knew there was a reason you wouldn't let Jesper touch you that night. He has tried to comfort you, put an arm around you but you put a blade to his neck with a face of fear the second he touched you. It appeared the only person you were fine with was Kaz. "I was going to be killed. That sick fuck that took me asked for my lass words." You said. Kaz watched you look at him. "I asked you for help." You said, clearer than any other speech during the night. No messups, no slurring. Just brutal honesty that was killing Kaz inside.

You put so much faith in him. In your last moments instead of cursing out the man that tortured you or praying to a random saint, you chose to ask Kaz for help. And it worked. That man, the second he found out you were taken, moved heaven and hell to find you. Jesper had never seen someone so panicked. No one's absence would have riled Kaz up that badly. Jesper knew then and there that Kaz would watch the world burn if it meant you'd be safe in the end.

Kaz held your hand and you looked over, a tear sliding down your face. "I'm so scared Kaz." You whispered. He brushed the tear away as you slowly laid your head in his lap. You cried yourself to sleep that night and that nearly killed him inside to see you like that. He played with your hair to get you to sleep faster, which worked.

As the sun rose, Kaz slowly got up. He went downstairs and set everything back the way it should've been and then he saw something odd out the window. The stray dog from last night had followed you home, sleeping outside your door. Then an idea clicked in his head.

You woke up on the floor, confirming your drunk thought that Kaz from last night wasn't real. However his scent was present in the house, which did confuse you. You heard something downstairs and you quickly snatched a blade from under your sink, rushing downstairs to see Kaz. And a... dog?

Kaz turned to see you with the knife and blinked. "I-I thought I was alone." You breathed. "No, uhm... It appears your friend from last night followed us." He said. There was a dog there with his tail wagging. Friend? You didn't recall a dog at all last night. "I don't remember a dog being present last night." You said. "Well you ran up to him last night." Kaz shrugged. You looked confused as Kaz stepped closer to you, taking the knife from your hand. "You are safe when I am here Y/n." He assured.

It felt like a flicker of a memory from last night. You remembered some sort of conversation. "What uhm.. what did I say last night?" You asked. "You didn't say anything too interesting. I mean, besides calling me gorgeous many times." He said. Your face flushed pink and you cleared your throat. "What should we do with the dog?" You asked. Kaz grinned at your slight embarrassment. "I was thinking you'd keep him. He already seems to like you. Plus it'd alert you to danger." He said. You kneeled to the dog and pet him from behind the ears.

You had that smile. That smile that would come out every so often whenever you thought you weren't being watched. Kaz was one of the lucky few that got to see it every so often. "I think I like that idea." You said. Kaz nodded. You looked past him. "You fixed the kitchen?" You asked. "And changed your locks." He said, handing you a key. You took it, looking at him. "Kaz uhm..." he waited for you to talk. "Why are you being so... nice? I mean... why do all this?" You asked. "Because I don't want you to feel scared in your own home." He said.

You looked down at the dog. There was a sadness in your eyes. "I will always come for you Y/n. If you are in trouble and need me, I will be there." He said. You looked at him and another drunk memory flickered. "I mentioned what happened to me, didn't I?" You asked. Kaz nodded. You sighed, sitting on your couch. "I must've sounded like a child." You said. "Not at all." He said, sitting in a chair next to you. The dog laid his head on your lap. "You should fire me. Tell me to leave Ketterdam." You muttered. "Why would I do that?" He asked. "Because you don't pay me to be scared. You- you don't pay me to get drunk or pay me to have you take me home!" You said.

Kaz frowned. "I pay you because you are good at what you do Y/n." He said. "I was kidnapped and had to have you save me. And I reacted afterwards like a child--" "You were hurt and confused Y/n. It wasn't your fault." He said, looking at you. "Yes. It was." You breathed. Kaz took both of your hands into his. When he slipped off those gloves, you didn't know but you were now holding his hands. His soft, beautiful hands. "It wasn't your fault. It never was. They took you because they knew you were vulnerable to me. If anything, what happened was my fault." He said softly.

You trusted this man with your whole being, body and soul. Right now it felt like he was showing you that he trusted you just as much. You'd follow this man to war, you'd sacrifice everything if it meant he'd be safe. You loved him more than anything. You didn't know how to vocalize that to him. You didn't know if you should vocalize that to him.

"I'm only a block away if you need me. All it takes is you calling my name." He said softly. Your heart was melting at his words. You swallowed hard, staring into his eyes when there was a knock on the door. You and Kaz jumped, Kaz immediately sliding his gloves back on. The dog barked and you hesitantly opened the door to see Jesper.

"Thank the saints. You made it home okay?" He asked. You nodded. "Mm. You should really decorate in here, it's kind of... plain." He said. You rolled your eyes. "What do you want Jesper?" You asked. "Y'know, you're a lot more friendly when you're drunk. Isn't that right Kaz?" Jesper asked. Kaz, who was now standing behind you rolled his eyes as well. "I am here to make sure you got home alright- is that a dog?" Jesper asked, seeing the dog by your leg. "Yes." You sighed. "What's his name?" Jesper asked, kneeling to his level. "He doesn't have one yet." You muttered. "Mm. I think Lev is a good name." He said. You said nothing, watching Jesper pet him.

"Well, you're checked on. Kaz is accounted for. All is right in the world and I can go home." Jesper declared before standing up to leave. "Oh and Y/n, don't think you're living down the whole 'gorgeous' thing. Or the fact that you were basically my best friend for the night." He said. "I'm really wishing I killed you when I got the chance." You said making him roll his eyes before he walked out. You closed the door almost immediately and locked it.

"How has that man not been murdered yet?" You asked. "I ask that question to myself everytime he opens his mouth." Kaz said making you smile. You slowly turned to Kaz. "Thanks for taking care of me." You said softly. He nodded. "Anytime." He said. "Really? Because I was thinking of going on another binge-" "Y/n." He said, rolling his eyes. You chuckled. "I appreciate you, thank you." You said. He nodded, reaching for the door. "Y/n. If you need me, come find me. Don't hesitate to ask." He said. You nodded slowly and watched as he finally left.

The feeling of dread returned soon after. You were alone, again. Not completely though, seeing as you now had a dog. You kneeled to the dog, sighing. "Kaz is a good man. We want him. But..." you pet the dog, looking at him with a sad look.

"We can't have him."

#kaz brekker #kaz x reader #kaz x y/n #kaz x you #six of crows

[valentinedaughtler]

Haven’t I Given Enough?

Kaz Brekker x GN!Inventor!Reader

TW: use of Y/N, mild, mild angst, slight ooc Kaz(?) (I think that’s it, let me know if I missed anything please.)

Synopsis: You’ve known Kaz for years, inventing gadgets to assist in heists and being his right hand ‘man’. One night you ask him if you can join a heist, but it doesn’t go as planned….

REQUESTS: OPEN✅

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My eyes flitted between the arriving guests in the bar. The Crow Club was packed tonight, and pigeons strolled in with restless naivety. I sat in the corner of the bustling room, sighing with exhaustion. I had just spent seventeen hours imitating mechanical watches in order to create a ‘fake’ for Kaz do swap with a real one. ‘Just something I need for a heist,’ was all he had said.

It would be worth it to know Kaz was proud of me in the end. Though, it was a long shot to think he would even do much as acknowledge anything I did.

I pondered whether I should slip through the crowd to find Jesper, but I couldn’t spot him. Instead, I pushed my way out of the suffocating bar out into the damp streets of Ketterdam. The cool air calmed my mind as I crossed toward the Slat. The cold made my cheeks rosy.

With the flick of a wrist, I flipped a switch blended into the old building’s exterior wall. It was hidden to an unsuspecting pedestrian yet, but it set off a system of pullies I had integrated into the inner walls a long time ago. A soft shlink was followed by the outward jutting of brick.

The side of the building became a rock-wall of sorts, since I could not climb up every surface like Inej. I began to grip the bricks, digging my nails into the gritty platforms.

Kaz was not always a fan of my inventions. A few had blown up in his face- literally- but it seemed he kept me around due to my many successes. I could fix any machine made by man. I didn’t have to know what it was, I could just take it apart in my mind, then do so in reality.

This was one of my inventions, a brick wall that was easy to climb, but could be hidden. Inej loved it- Kaz felt it was a waste of time.

He said there were stairs for a reason.

I shimmied the window of Kaz’s office open, the latch flipping and the glass sliding. I hopped off of the ledge and into the office, making sure to reset my brick contraption. I turned around and cleared my throat, but Kaz did not glance up at me. I rolled my eyes as he squinted at the blueprints that lay on his makeshift desk.

“Good evening, Brekker,” I greeted with a jokingly enticing tone. His eye twitched and he proceeded to turn his attention to me.

“Hello, Y/N,” his gravely voiced rasped in response. I smiled slightly, regretting so, and dig into my left pants pocket. I pulled out a shiny, gold watch with engraved initials. Whose they were was unknown to me, but if I asked, Kaz would most likely just shut me down. I had to respect his odd secrecy after all he had done for me. Out of all the years I’d known him, it has always been as if he kept me at an arm’s length. He was careful to never be vulnerable, as if that was the same as his skin touching mine.

I gestured for him to catch the watch when I tossed it, but he glared. I let out an exasperated sigh.

“You’re such a buzzkill,” I teased while handing the fake to him.

“You’re… difficult,” he retorted, but there was no malice behind his words- surprisingly. I huffed and plopped onto the blanket sprawled out on the windowsill. My eyes followed Kaz’s movements as he tentaviety inspected the watch. After a few minutes he placed it onto his desk and resumed his work. I waited patiently for any sign of recognition, but it never came.

“You’re welcome,” I mumbled while stretching out my legs. I opened up my leather sketchbook to doodle a new invention design. That or I’d just draw Kaz. But I was too annoyed with him to do so.

The dark haired boy sighed as he looked over at me. “You did good. It looks identical.”

I didn’t say anything in response, but I smiled slightly, my face heating up. It was embarrassing how easily I was flattered by Kaz, who could barely do the bare minimum.

“What ere you using it for— the watch, I mean,” I asked with growing curiosity. Kaz halted his work for a moment, most likely deciding if he felt like sharing or not.

“A local banker,-“

“The more-of-a-wanker-than-a-banker one?” I cut off his response, immediately feeling embarrassed. Kaz looked at me with mild confusion. “Inside joke with Jesper,” I elaborated.

He hummed in response, then continued, “He’s more of a swanker. For the past few months he has been flaunting his wealth a little too much. Especially his watch. It’s his most prized possession. I plan to take it from his vault; a simple swap.”

“What would you do without me?” I asked with a sly smirk. Kaz huffed, perhaps laughed.

“I’d have less of your inventions explode on me.”

“It was one time, Kaz,” I said with exasperation. My eye glittered as I met his gaze. I open my mouth to speak, but immediately close it again, pressing my lips together firmly.

“Kaz?”

“Y/N,”

“I want to go on a mission with you and the crows,” I blurted out. Kaz froze, only for a fraction of a moment, but Kaz Brekker froze. He nodded towards my left arm, where a tattoo of a crow craning over a guatlet was etched into my skin.

“You are a crow,” he finally rasped, dodging my question until I glared daggers into his skin. “And I have everyone we need for the mission-“

“Wylan is sick. You need someone who can easily disable complex machinery- the alarms, the traps-“

“I said no,” Kaz’s voice raised, sounding threatening.

“Why not?”

“Y/N,” his voice sounded as if he meant, don’t push it. But I did. I always did, and Kaz always kept me by his side anyways.

“I don’t understand- ever since I got hurt on that one heist you haven’t let me participate-“

“Exactly! You got hurt,” he said. His jaw clenched and his eyes avoided mine. I watched his Adam’s apple bob as he gulped.

“Dregs get hurt all the time- saints, some of the crows do too-“

“This is different,”

“How?”

“You’re an investment,” he stated blankly, “and I protect my investments.” I felt heat flush my face, my fists balling up and my shoulders tensing.

“That’s rich, Kaz, real rich,” I spat. Embarrassment pooled in my stomach and my eyes. “But that’s all you want, right? Kruge? Money? Power?” He didn’t say anything as I slitted my eyes and scrunched my nose. “Saints forbid the people who help you get to that point.”

Before Kaz could respond, if he even chose to, I got up and walked across his office, my shoes clacking against the hard, wooden floors. The old floorboards moaned and groaned at the pressure I subjected them to.

“Y/N-,” Kaz tried to get up, but his bad leg involuntarily spasmed at his abrupt movement.

The door slammed behind me. I knew it wasn’t a big deal, it felt like the last thing to topple a delicate card tower. Each card was a jab or a deny Kaz made regarding our… relationship, if you could call it that. He and I had been friends long before the other crows came along, yet I felt I’d come to know him the least. I sighed.

I turned back around on my heel, opening the splintered office door. On the other side was Kaz, reaching for the handling on the opposing side.

“You’re not an investment,”

I kept any snarky comments bottled up inside, along with my tears. I could tell what he was convey was eating away at him, so I let him speak.

“If I lost you, I’d have to burn Ketterdam down, and then I’d have no kingdom to rule,” his words soared through the air between us and to my heart.

“I just keep feeling like I’ve given enough, Kaz. I know I deserve to go on heists. If you see my as an equal, you have to treat me like one.” I met his deep, coffee-brown eyes.

He nodded. One of his gloved hands hesitantly, begrudgingly, came up to touch my face. He cupped my cheek and I leaned into the cold, leather touch. I knew this was the best answer he could give me at the moment. It was a more meaningful gesture than anything he could’ve said. He’d let me help on the heist, and for once in a very long time, it felt like he had let his high walls crumble a bit.

I knew I’d given enough.

____________________________________________

Word Count: 1460

____________________________________________

Part 2????

-Valentine

#shadow and bone #six of crows #fanfic #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker x you #gn reader #gn!reader #gn!y/n #gn #x reader #inventor #Grishaverse #hurt/comfort #confession #Ketterdam #kaz Brekker is bad at feelings #soc #soc kaz #sab

[shaykappa]

Favourite/Funniest Lines From Six of Crows

"I am a businessman," he 'd told her. "No more, no less." "You are a thief, Kaz." "Isn't that what I just said?"

"I like it when men beg, but this isn't the time."

"Go tell your general to keep the Black Tips out of Fifth Harbor and that we expect him to make amends for the shipment of jurda we lost, plus five percent for drawing steel on neutral ground and five percent more for being such a spectacular bunch of asses."

"Oh, it's worse than that, Van Eck. If I fail, I don't get paid."

"Really, Jesper? If I want to watch men dig holes to fall into, I 'll find myself a cemetery."

"Please, my darling Inej, treasure of my heart, won't you do me the honor of acquiring me a new hat?"

"I had a question. About your mother and whether the rumors are true."

"I won't trust you to tie my shoes without stealing the laces, Kaz."

"You wouldn't know a good time if it sidled up to you and stuck a lollipop in your mouth."

"Also the proper way to fold a napkin and dance a minute. Oh and you can play the flute. Marketable skills, merchling. Marketed skills." "No one dances the minuet anymore."

"What's the easiest way to steal a man's wallet?" "Knife to the throat?" "Gun to the back?" "Poison in his cup?" "You are all horrible."

"Moose is probably your native tongue."

"I don't need a nursemaid." "More like a chaperone, but if you want him to wash your nappies and tuck you in at night that's your business."

"I am glad I am bleeding all over your shirt." "I'll put it in your tab."

"Fine. But if Pekka Rollins kills us all, I 'm going to get Wylan's ghost to teach my ghost how to play the flute just so that I can annoy the hell out of your ghost." Brekker's lips quirked. "I 'll just hire Matthias's ghost to kick your ghost's ass." "My ghost won't associate with your ghost." Matthias said primly, and then wondered if the sea air was rotting his brain.

"I am going to pay someone to burn my kruge for me." "Why don't you pay someone else to pay someone to burn your kruge for you? That's what the big players do." "You know what the really big bosses do? They pay someone to pay someone to..."

"Wake up you miserable lump of muscle."

"It's not natural for women to fight." "It's not natural for someone to be as stupid as he is tall, and yet, there you stand."

"Just flip it open to the back." "So?" "Hold it up so we don't have to look at your ugly face."

"And I can tell you 've never given thought to your haircut."

"Nina is everything you say. It's too much." "Mmm, maybe you are just not enough."

"Well, we've managed to get ourselves locked into the most secure prison in the world. We 're either geniuses or the dumbest sons of bitches to ever breath air."

"What is he doing?" "Performing an ancient Zemeni ritual." "Really?" "No."

"Saints" he said. "That bad?" "No, you just have really ugly feet."

"If any of you survive, make sure I have an open casket. The world deserves a few more moments with this face."

"How do we cross? I don't see anything." "Because you are not worthy." "I am also not nearsighted. There's nothing there."

"Yes I know, then a tree tells you the secret handshake."

"If only you could to girls in equations." "Just girls?" "No, not just girls."

Djel says you're a fanatic, drunk on your own power. Come back next year.

They are in trouble. Or you were dead wrong about Matthias, and you are about to pay for all of those talking tree jokes.

"I. Should. Let. You. Die."

"Behave or Nina Zenik will get you?" "Well, I do like the sound of that."

"Son of a bitch." "What is it, boss?" Rollins held up his watch chain. A turnip was hanging from the fob where his diamond-studded timepiece should have been. "That little bastar-" Then a thought came to him. He reached for his wallet. It was gone. So was his tie pin, the Kaelish coin pendant he wore for luck and the gold buckles in his shoes. Rollins wondered if he should check the fillings in his teeth. "He picked your pocket?" No one got one over Pekka Rollins. No one dared. But Brekker had, and Rollins wondered if that was just the beginning.

#soc #six of crows #best lines #kaz brekker #kaz rietveld #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #nina zenik #wylan van eck #wylan van sunshine #wylan hendriks #matthias helvar #jesper x wylan #kaz x inej #nina x matthias

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Trust [K. B]

Kaz Brekker x fem!reader

wc: 7.8k

summary: something goes wrong with a heist and Kaz's anger lashes out at you, only later realizing it's not for the reasons you thought.

A/N: I feel like it took me literally YEARS to write this. Someone requested the central idea but I decided to expand a bit and since in anon he mentioned that they like hurt/comfort I hope I have achieved it. I hope you like it, thanks for reading!

warnings: trauma (again)

taglist: @be-lla-vie @milkshake0 @ladespedidas

As soon as you stepped foot inside The Slat, you felt enormous relief to think that you could finally get some rest. The day before, the boss had told you that it was necessary to recover something and had drawn up a general outline of how things would be carried out, so to avoid mistakes, instead of sending just one group, the whole team would go. But at a certain point things had gone wrong and then the whole mission had gone awry. You were scared and everyone else was scared, but you knew that Kaz was probably the most upset about it. He hadn't spoken to anyone since you had to flee the mansion.

“Well, I declare that a resounding failure. Good night, my friends,” Jesper said, holding his side with a wince. Wylan was at his side to catch him in case the pain buckled his knees.

You sighed, defeated, and started walking towards the stairs to take a shower to remove all traces of dust, blood, and shame that you had impregnated on your skin, however, Kaz's cane stopped hitting you in the stomach, blocking your way and suffocating you at the same time.

"Are you crazy?" he asked, his voice raspier than usual. You asked yourself if he was referring to your plans, which he obviously couldn't know about, and why he was upset, but it didn't take anything more to get an answer, "What the fuck was that in the mansion?"

Oh, that is what he meant. 

To recap a bit, your goal that night was to recover a few bags of cash that a new gang at The Barrel had stolen but originally belonged to the Crow Club, i. e you guys. It was a payment for an exchange that Kaz had made days ago with art supplies or something, it was a business that none of you were very involved in.

The black-haired man knew the place where it was kept (he always seemed to know the whole city like the back of his hand) and so he had drawn up a pretty solid plan with which you could get away with it. Regularly his plans contemplated in the most opportune way each of your abilities: guns, stealth, the Grisha qualities, strength, chemicals, and the skills with your hands in which you surpassed the man. It was almost like something in you and your friends used to joke that your hands were a kind of magnet for everything shiny, although those same hands also worked perfectly to use a pick and give access to many places.

Things were going well that night, until you had to make a last-minute decision when you found out that an unknown person was in the place and you wanted to get them out of there so they wouldn't be in the crossfire. That was the 'certain point' I had mentioned before, where everything got screwed up. It was about a poor and defenseless servant girl who started screaming like crazy when she saw you and although you tried to calm her down that was enough to draw the attention of the guards, who came towards you to capture you. And since you were very busy struggling with two armed goons, you couldn't fulfill your part of the plan, which was to open the vault where the money that you were going to steal was. It had been a rather unfortunate chain of events.

"Kaz, you know I didn't mean to…"

"Are you deaf, then?" he interrupted you, ignoring your attempt at justification. He took a step towards you, limping a bit due to the lack of a cane, and then you could see the expression on his face.

You'd only seen Kaz this angry once and the poor man who caused it was already resting in peace, so you cringed in on yourself like a scared little bird.

"Or why didn't you do what we agreed?" you didn't know if he wanted a verbal answer, but even if he had, what could you say to that? It was more than obvious why you had done it "If there is a plan, it is because that plan must be executed as I have said, if not, then what would it be?"

"I shouldn’t…"

"No, you shouldn't," he interrupted again, speaking louder than usual to look imposing. And boy he was doing it. “That was the stupidest thing you've ever done, and all for a damn maid? What were you thinking?

"I wanted to help her"

"Oh really? And how did she thank you? Yelling at the guards to come to get you! Did you think about that before acting? Do you ever consider the consequences?” his voice didn't drop in volume, but rather rose gradually with each word that came out of his mouth.

You were in a panic, somehow strangely having the strength to meet his angry eyes, for you didn't think he would start saying such things to you in front of everyone else, who had been silent since the exchange had begun. You tried to think of anything to defend yourself, but even if you found the right argument you knew you couldn't outsource it due to nerves.

Even with your devoted silence, Kaz did not seem satisfied and he continued speaking.

“You had to follow simple orders: wait for the signal and open the vault. Everyone stayed in their positions. Was it very difficult for you to do that?”

"Kaz, I don't think…" Jesper started to say, trying to help him out of the situation, but he fell silent as he watched the black-haired boy turn his head to look at him. It was true, you guys hadn't seen Kaz in that state more than a few times and even the gunslinger, who loved you immensely, thought it wiser to keep silent if he didn't want the opponent's anger to lash out at him.

"Look at Jesper," he said close to your face. If he hadn't been so averse to touching you, you were sure he would have held your face to keep your gaze on him, because by this point your eyes were cloudy and you were trying to focus on anything other than the conversation “He's hurt. You are hurt. Imagine what would have happened if we hadn't been able to get out in time or if Inej hadn't come to your rescue, do you think those men would have tempted their hearts before killing all of us? Of course not! There's no room for charity here because until that servant was in real danger, she wasn't your problem. You behaved stupidly and those actions affected all of us” Kaz fell silent and you thought that was it. You were with your arms crossed, perhaps as an unconscious act of seeking protection, not daring to look at him.

But he took a few seconds to examine you and then said something else:

It is your fault that we are now in this state; without a single penny in our pockets.

The words your fault, and without a penny were the cause of a tug across your chest. It was useless to hold back the tears that had already treacherously begun to slide down your cheeks and that you wished you had the strength to wipe off with the sleeve of the jacket you were wearing.

In all the time you had belonged to the crows he had never spoken to you like that. There had been disagreements, of course, and he'd even called you out for neglecting some tasks he'd given you, but those kinds of hurtful words were reserved for criminals from whom he extracted information or threatened. That's why you were so upset, because Kaz was terrifying when he put his mind to it and you'd just had the misfortune to experience it firsthand.

The rest of your friends were also perplexed by what had just happened, since most of them had found your outburst in the mansion quite justifiable, since it was an innocent life that you had tried to protect, a very present code always.

The other part that had managed to break you was knowing that the man's annoyance was actually due to the money you had caused him to lose rather than the fact that you or someone else had been in danger. Or at least that was what you had understood by the final sentence.

The silence was sepulchral, no one even dared to breathe harder than usual for fear that he would take them as the next victim, and only a small sob that escaped you broke the silence. You hoped that would soften Kaz’s expression a bit, but he didn't flinch.

A part of you thought, due to shock, to apologize to him, but you weren't even able to. You just stood in the middle of that room under his questioning gaze.

When your body finally wanted to react, you walked directly to the stairs to go up to your room, without even looking back, collapsing on the floor and crying as soon as you closed the door behind you. You didn't even think about taking a shower anymore and the burning pain in your ribs, which you hadn't mentioned to anyone about, intensified. You had to cover your mouth with your hand so that the crying wouldn’t reach the floor below and you felt that everything around you was spinning.

You stayed in that position for a few minutes, which felt like hours, until someone opened the door and stuck their head inside. It was Nina, who had surely gone of her own free will but also partly at the request of others. She could hear your erratic heartbeat and your lungs struggling to hold some air, so it didn't take her more than a second to kneel next to you to wrap her arms around you and start running her hand up and down trying to comfort you. She offered to heal you and you agreed, but through it all you thought that even though the blows on your body burned like hell, what was definitely causing you the most pain was the wounds you just received to your heart.

After that night you could say that the tension in The Slat could be cut with a knife. You thought that the others were also going to blame you for the failure of the heist, with justifiable reasons, but you were pleasantly surprised to find out that this wasn’t the case, since they all told you so explicitly as soon as they had a chance. Matthias, who was most of the time the most mature among you, told you that sometimes things went wrong and that at least he was glad that you were okay; with Nina there, the physical problems could be solved and the money would be recovered somehow. But, to your surprise, it was Kaz they weren't very happy with.

You never meant to start a mutiny against the boss, God knows you didn't, but as much as you tried to change their minds, they were distant and reluctant to talk to Brekker. And Kaz, in turn, didn't exchange a single word with you.

Jesper and Nina were the ones who showed it the most, the first one kept looking down at your friend as if he could make him combust spontaneously with his eyes while the woman simply didn't say anything, as if he were invisible. The rest of the group hadn't cut off the communication suddenly, but it was evident that they weren't entirely happy with the black-haired man's behavior.

Although there were few occasions when the seven of you, or the majority, coincided in the same space, since you were always doing other things around The Barrel or the club.

You weren't the proud type, yet you refused to offer an apology for something that wasn't wrongdoing and finally stopped feeling guilty for applying this silent treatment to thinking that Kaz deserved it. Just a little. Also, if he didn't bother to talk to you, everything would be easier for you, because, although you still did some general tasks, most of the time you spent locked in your room, doing anything to entertain yourself.

If you looked at it from the outside, unaware that you guys were a bunch of criminals living in the same horrible building, that looked like a real teenage fight. But you couldn't blame yourself too much, because you were teenagers.

Sometimes, when he didn't notice, you watched him from afar. You analyzed his expression, his posture, his eyes, anything that would help you figure out if he really cared about your absence or the silence of others. You tried to believe that he was in a bad mood (more than usual) because he wanted you to not be angry anymore, but after a long time you always came to the same conclusion; he was inscrutable, shielded in that armor that you highly doubted could shatter, much less by you. Sometimes you wished you could know what Kaz was thinking so you could figure out if he had noble motives for acting the way he did or if he was just a heartless jerk. And, although your desire to read minds wasn’t fulfilled, you began to bet more on the latter the day a new job was presented. It was, now, a kind of revenge against the men of the opposing gang (who had stolen your business payment in the first place), however, when the meeting took place you noticed that he was skipping a detail. 

"And what will Y/N do?" Jesper had asked, going ahead of you, after listening carefully to the plan and realizing that you weren't contemplated anywhere. You expected Kaz to say you were going to stick with him, even if it was so he could keep an eye on you and avoid another outburst, but when he shook his head you were completely offended.

"She's not coming"

It was one thing to have received a scolding for the mistake made and quite another to be removed from the team just like that. And that Kaz had responded as if you weren't there made you feel completely humiliated and, consequently, angry.

"Great, so now it turns out that I'm grounded," you said sarcastically. It was the first time in weeks that you had spoken directly to Kaz and he just looked at you sideways for a few seconds, as if examining you, which made your blood boil even more "Are you really going to leave me out?" you continued, now with more seriousness than before. You wished he dared to face you with an answer, and you were surprised at how quickly this happened.

"It’s not personal. This time it’s better that you stay” was all the explanation he offered you. The way he said it made it clear to you that it wasn't up for discussion and you felt powerless, but before any of your friends could say anything in your defense, you decided to take it the best way.

If Kaz didn't want you around, you weren't going to make him. If you didn't receive even a measly part of the money from now on, you didn't care. If it was true that you had screwed up, you weren't sorry for anything and you weren't going to give in so easily, despite the love and respect you felt for him.

“Good luck then,” was all you said, offering the best fake smile you could have and purposely patting Kaz on the shoulder. He watched you walk away with eyes wide open in surprise, even though you didn't even notice it when you got lost in the hallway, and it was hard for him to keep his composure as he turned around again to clear up any doubts regarding how the crime would be carried out; although he tried to hide it, almost most of the group could tell.

What the hell did Kaz have against you lately? The others had made mistakes countless times and never suffered consequences as harsh as yours, because probably the hardest part had been dealing with the boss's anger and being forced to find a solution for what they had screwed up. You probably would have offered to get the money back yourself if he had let you end the problem, but you couldn't even do that because you knew it would only fan the fires of anger.

So when you left there everyone thought that things had already gone on too long and someone had to point it out to Kaz.

"Is everything clear?" he asked, looking at the crows and receiving a general nod.

We would have to wait until night to work, so once there was nothing more to say, each one dispersed in opposite directions.

“Inej,” Kaz said, not even looking back. He knew she was there, he always knew, as if there was a connection between the two of them "Everything okay?"

“Everyone is where they should be. The carriage is on its way and the streets are free”

"Good"

“But there is something else we need to talk about”

Kaz was afraid it was something to do with you, and he closed his eyes for a moment at the possibility. They were on a roof, he too close to the shore to be able to supervise that the robbery was carried out effectively, and she took a few steps until she reached his side. The two kept looking down for a few seconds, preparing internally for what was coming; talking about feelings was never one of their strengths.

"What would that be about?”

"About who" she corrected him "This discussion with Y/N has already escalated to exacerbated levels, you didn't have to forbid her to come"

"And what did you want me to do?" he muttered, more upset than he would have liked, and he had to take a deep breath before speaking again, “She's… was impulsive and… she doesn't measure the danger she's putting herself in. She is like a child, without conscience or limits”

“We all know that, but you called her stupid. That's very different."

“I don't want her to end up killing herself,” he said, and Inej caught a hint of sincere concern tinging her friend's voice. Kaz hated seeing himself like this, but there was something about her that made him trust her with that part of him. “Y/N acts with her heart, that's the problem. And I worry that she doesn't know how to control it. I don't want anyone to hurt her and she just doesn't cooperate” he sounded desperate, helpless, and then Inej realized how many things were being ignored by the team about the boss's decisions, apparently cruel, but quite considered in the background. It was like… acting badly for the right reasons. Or something like that.

“Well, if you really do this to safeguard her welfare, you should tell her. Because I don't think you're giving him the right message with your actions” Inej told him. Then she decided that she wasn't going to pry into the matter anymore from that point on, wishing that the conversation had been enough to make the black-haired man see reason.

He thought about it for a second and wished he could ask her more, but then he noticed that, as always, she had already vanished into the night.

Kaz tried very hard to focus on the robbery and stop thinking about you or what it would be wise to say to you, but he was having some trouble. In the next hour, to everyone's surprise in general, things went perfectly; there was no guard, just a driver who didn't resist, and they were coming back with some juicy loot. Almost too easy to be true.

Kaz didn't give much thought to the nature of the success they'd just had and they all just set off, their group spirits much better now that things were looking up.

It would be foolish to deny that Kaz had been thinking about how quickly you would have managed to carry out the robbery and also had missed the joking duo that you formed with Jesper, who now had barely looked at the blue-eyed man.

On the way he got a bit withdrawn and was mentally torturing himself about what was the right thing to do when he got home. After thinking it through, he concluded that he should take Inej’s advice and talk to you to fix things. Brekker wasn't used to apologizing, but at least he could explain things to you the way he had with the girl, so that you would understand better and hopefully forgive him for the idiotic behavior he had been displaying for the past few weeks. Although he was still upset, it was worth putting that aside to try.

After going to the club to save the cash they went back to The Slat and when he stood in front of your door he never thought to feel more nervous in life, while he started to ask himself if that was a good idea. Maybe he should just let time wash away your bad face and carry on as before... but he was also aware that that wouldn't happen.

He hesitated for a long time about whether to knock on your door or not, but after a few minutes he finally did and was frustrated when no one answered, despite a strip of light coming through the door grate.

"Y/N, I know you’re there" he tried, but there was no response. Kaz ran a gloved hand through his hair and exhaled in frustration. "Fine, don't talk to me if you want, but that's not going to stop me from coming to tell you what I came to say," he muttered determinedly. Even trying to communicate assertively, he couldn't help but sound rude. “I didn't mean to yell at you like that when we got back from the heist, I just didn't know what else to do. And today I asked you to stay here because it could be dangerous and I'm trying to take care of you because apparently you don't give a damn about your own life, not because I hate you or because I'm upset with you. It's just that…” he was having a hard time talking, so he had to take a deep breath to collect himself a little “I worry about you. And I want you to be okay. Safe"

Kaz was silent, waiting for you to say something, but again there was nothing. He felt so foolish and embarrassed that he even thought his eyes were going to glaze over with helplessness. He was trying his best to go there, but you didn't seem to care, and honestly, he didn't blame you.

His gaze lowered to the floor, the pressing sensation of rejection flooding his chest, and only then did he notice the glow emanating from a section of the floor. With difficulty he knelt to take the substance with his fingers and his glove was stained with a fine powder that gave off an iridescent glow, which until that moment he had not realized he was scattered over various sections of the corridor. And next to that dust, there was a bloodstain.

Kaz didn't even wait for a second to lunge at your bedroom door and yank it open, which he hadn't done before out of respect for your privacy, only to realize that everything in there was turned upside down. There were remains of a smashed nightstand, books scattered on the floor, the bed in disarray, and sporadic stains of blood that he prayed weren't yours. The window was wide open and the white curtain billowed violently in the night air.

Someone had broken into your room and it wasn't hard to put the pieces together to find out what they had broken into. Someone had kidnapped you.

His eyes traveled all over the place looking for something that would give him clues and he decided to start rummaging through the books hoping to find a note, the amount for your ransom, whatever. When he read ‘We're even, Brekker’ written on yellowed paper and signed with the seal of a snake, he felt that his balance was missing.

That's why the robbery of the carriage had been so easy, because they had wanted it that way. Their plan was always to enter The Slat. You were there, alone, and they kidnapped you because Kaz had allowed it. Because in his eagerness to protect you, he had delivered you directly to the enemy.

It was all his fault.

"Jesper!" he screamed, on first impulse. He didn't know if it was difficult for him to get up from the floor due to dizziness or because of the limp “Inej! Wylan! Whoever!" he continued, wanting to get the attention of anyone who could help him. He was in a panic and he was also furious. He would be capable of torturing the men who had kidnapped you in the most horrible ways ever seen, as soon as he found out who they were.

All the people present in the building followed the sound of the boss's wailing and when they observed the state of your room a collective sigh of surprise filled the silence.

"Where is Y/N?"

“I don't know,” Kaz hissed, sounding desperate. That didn't even matter to him anymore "They took her, they set us up"

“We have to find her,” Matthias muttered, and he wanted to hit him for saying something so obvious. But he had to calm down, for everyone's sake.

"There's blood and this in the hallway," said the black-haired man, showing everyone the dust that still glittered on his glove.

"It's a trail," Wylan exclaimed, his features lighting up like when he had an idea. He stepped forward to analyze the sample and then nodded. “I gave this to her, it's a bioluminescent powder we were experimenting with. In theory, when…" he walked around the room as if looking for something until he found a box of matches that you had lying around "it comes into contact with the fire, it emits a blue flame" he explained, going into the corridor and demonstrating the information practically.

There was hope, if they hadn't taken you too far your friends might track you down and rescue you. You had been scared enough to leave a clue because you knew they would look for you.

In that moment Kaz felt so guilty that he had ever even suggested that he doubted your abilities.

“You have to follow it. We have to find where they took her right now” he ordered and, of course, no one argued. Everyone went ahead to get the necessary things to look for you and Kaz leaned against the wall for a moment, breathing slowly in an attempt to contain one of those panic attacks he sometimes felt, not imagining that this would only be the beginning of an awful night. 

And the worst wasn’t over yet.

The crows moved faster and more efficiently than ever before, and within minutes Wylan had figured out how to follow the trail. Sometimes there were long lines through the streets that were lit with a single match, but other times they had to look for them more carefully and that consumed time that Kaz considered vital. Although he wasn't saying anything the others could tell that he was quite upset by the situation, so they did their best. Also, you were part of the group, so they too were extremely worried.

By the time they reached Fifth Harbor, Kaz was already burning all the way down his leg, but that didn't matter to him. They were all out of breath, but that didn't matter. And the trail ended right at the pier, but that didn't matter because they saw in the distance a boat with two robust men, one of them holding a lamp and the other struggling with a girl tied by her hands and legs who was screaming in despair.

It was you and you were yelling Kaz's name.

They rushed to find a boat tied to the dock big enough for the six of them and when, luckily, they found it they jumped on it. Matthias and Jesper were in charge of rowing and the movement did not go unnoticed by the men who had you captured, nor by you.

A feeling of relief swept through you as you realized that the silhouettes approaching you were your friends and you felt that all was not lost. Kaz thought that they had arrived just in time and that calmed him down for a second, but he didn't count on the fact that the man would lift you off the ground and, with a sharp gesture that surprised everyone, he would throw you straight into the sea.

Your cry was drowned out by the roar of the water and the black-haired man's breath caught, while everything around him was spinning again. Until then he realized the position he was in: in the middle of the immensity of the sea, in danger of drowning. It was then that the memories of his brother's body came back to him like needles sticking in and he felt like he might vomit.

Kaz didn't know how to swim and even if he had known how to at some point in his life it was now impossible due to his limping leg. But he wasn't going to let you die. He can’t.

In the midst of the attack, he was dimly aware of what was happening. You were now within safe distance of the other boat which allowed Inej to throw a knife at one of the men and Jesper took it upon himself to put a bullet into the other. In hindsight, Kaz would have wished they had stayed alive so he could take it upon himself to give them a slow and painful death. There was no point in letting the men who had kidnapped you die so mercifully.

The water was dark and they couldn't see anything, but still Matthias was the one who ventured below the surface to find your body, hoping that when he did it wouldn't be too late.

Nina kept her hands up to monitor the beating of both your hearts and the rest stood without saying anything, looking expectantly out at the water that rolled in small waves. Only Kaz's erratic breathing broke the silence of the environment.

A few seconds passed, and when there was no sign of him or you, concern gripped the group. Now there wasn’t only the fear that you wouldn't get out of the water, but also that Matthias wouldn't and thus lose two members of the group. Nina winced when she heard one of the heartbeats slowed down considerably, though she didn't comment on it to the others.

When he finally surfaced everyone was relieved to see that he wasn't alone, even if your body was just an unconscious bundle that he was pulling with difficulty.

They still put you in the canoe and you had your limbs tied with rope, so Inej was in charge of cutting them with a knife, while the others crowded around you to try to see how you were.

“She's not breathing,” Matthias gasped. Nina knelt to try to expel the water from your lungs, but for some reason your body was resisting. If she didn't get the water out of your lungs, the lack of oxygen would permanently affect your brain.

"This isn't working," she snorted after several hand movements.

It was only then that Kaz dared to look at you. You were pale, wet, and a trickle of blood was coming from your forehead and you had some bruises. He never thought that he would feel the same pain that he seized when he traveled to the coast with the lifeless body of his brother.

Wake up, he wanted to tell you, but his voice wouldn't come out. You have to wake up.

Nina kept trying and until he finally saw you jump up to vomit up the salt water, he too felt like he could breathe again.

When you finally finished inhaling the air around you everyone bombarded you with questions to check your well-being and you just nodded to them all, a little dazed and scared. Nina took it upon herself to help with the cut and bruises, while the men took up the oars again to reach the dock.

Kaz was the last to get off the boat and he was also the last to enter The Slat, as if he needed to check that the rest of you had done it, since he didn't want to leave anyone behind again. Never.

“Let me accompany you,” he said. It was the first thing he had said to you after the incident and you were so exhausted that you didn't offer any resistance. When you walked up the stairs and into your room, you thought Kaz would leave without another word, but instead he stood in front of the door.

You looked at him with a neutral expression, trying to understand what he was trying to do.

"You were very intelligent" he began to say "When you left the trail"

"Thank you," you said quietly. Your throat was a bit sore from the water you had swallowed.

"How it happened?" he asked. The trip had made you recover a bit and you were calmer than before, so you didn't mind telling him things.

“They were supposed to be looking for your office, but they saw my light on and thought it would be a better idea to go after the helpless damsel. They got in through the window and… voila,” you said bitterly, gesturing with one hand at the mess around you. “They held me here and tied me to a chair, but the knots were so painful I got free in a few minutes. They interrogated me to ask about things of value or obtain some information, but I didn't say anything. My fighting could irritate them, but I think I really pissed them off when I smashed a vase over the head of one and plunged a knife into the other's leg. Maybe that's why they decided to throw me into the sea”

Kaz was a bit dismayed at how calmly you said things and he wondered if you really didn't care or were just pretending. Although he wanted to say the same things to you that he had said to your empty room a few hours ago, the truth was that remembering it made him feel ashamed. It had been a sincere apology, but he didn't think he could say it twice.

"I'm sorry I put you in danger," he said, stepping forward for more privacy. He watched your reaction to what he said and what he did, hoping that if you were still upset you would show it. But the near-death experience seemed to soften both of you.

"Why apologize? you didn't send those guys. It was just some… being in the wrong place at the wrong time. It could have happened to anyone."

“I know, but maybe if I hadn't asked you to stay here, they wouldn't have hurt you” he admitted and although you wanted to recriminate him for that, you decided to remain silent, feeling curious as to how far he could go with that talk "And if you don't… if you hadn't been smart right now you wouldn't be here”

"But I am" you answered with determination "And that's what hurts me, Kaz, that you doubt me" you expressed. You weren't going to forget so easily what had made you walk away in the first place and you thought it was the right time for him to know what you thought about it “I made a mistake, it's true and I take responsibility for that. But you didn't have to treat me like this."

"I know that too," he hastened to say, "I don't doubt you, I never have."

“It is not noticeable. Today you pushed me aside and you told us that trust is always the most important thing. And although I was stupid, I consider that this behavior is not worthy of making you stop trusting me just like that. You know I didn't do it to screw you over, I just wanted to save her."

“It's not about that woman, I don't care about her. You know that I too would have prevented her from getting hurt if the situation arose."

“Then what is it about? Is it only the mistake of the century if I make it?”

“This is about you, Y/N” Kaz said, pointing at you with his open palm and starting to sound desperate “I got so mad because you were the one who ended up in the hands of the enemy. I hate that you act like that because I care about you too much to allow myself to lose you”

You didn't expect that and he didn't expect to say it either. It was even more embarrassing than what he had refused to tell you in the first place.

He said that he didn't want to lose you and you thought about the meaning of that expression: did he not want to lose what you brought to the team or did he not want to lose your person?

"These weeks I thought you only hated me because I made you lose money"

"Oh, I do hate you a little for that," he said, taking a surprise "Not for the money itself, but for what that money implied" there was no point in keeping secrets, if Kaz had already started to sink then he preferred to do it completely and with dignity “The club is going through some difficulties, Y/N. I sold those things so I could keep it going. Because while our criminal jobs give us some kruge, you know that the main source of income for that group is the Crow Club. Also…” he felt his breath shake and had to take a moment to calm down “I've been thinking about something these past few months. A long time ago you said that you had always wanted to go to university, do you remember?” he asked you and you nodded your head “Jesper had the opportunity, but he is a lost cause, because he prefers this kind of life to having an office job or a quiet home and I respect that. But not you, you ended up here because you had no other options” Kaz was silent, hoping that if you had something to say you would say it now, but then he continued, “And I thought if I gave you some money you would have that opportunity. That way I could get you away from all these Dregs and you'd live the way you wanted. That's why that robbery was important”

You were totally stunned.

You never expected Kaz to have that opinion of you or even care about you to the degree that he had just confessed to you. He had listened to you, had seen beyond the apparent happiness of living in The Barrel to find your true dreams, so forgotten within yourself that you no longer thought you could reveal them to anyone else.

You mistakenly believed that the only thing that mattered to Kaz Brekker was dying suffocated by piles of money, but you had just realized that the true engine of life of the black-haired man was the love he had for that peculiar family that you made up.

“You… you know that's not necessary, right? You don’t have to do it"

"But I wanted"

The gap was less since Kaz had walked towards you and you decided, venturing a bit, to take another step towards him.

"Why didn't you tell us that the club has financial problems?" you asked softly, because you thought there could be no other way to talk to him in a situation like this.

"Because it wasn't important"

"Yes, it is, Kaz" you walked in his direction again. At that distance, if you raised your hand a little, he could reach to take hers "That's the point, you decide to swallow all the problems without talking to anyone and then we have no idea what ails you or why this or that is so important. Jesus, if you had told me that money was so vital, I would have put my life into opening that vault as quickly as possible” it was at that moment that you really regretted what you had done and thought that, if possible, you would have returned in time to listen to him and not just your instincts.

"It does not matter anymore. I can't spend my life telling you all the bad things that happen around here."

“You should do it, Kaz. We are a group and we can't just enjoy the rewards without knowing the sacrifice, stop burdening yourself with that alone” he warned seriously “You take care of all of us, but then who takes care of you?”

His reaction was the same as you had a moment ago: stupefaction. Kaz didn't know at what point in his life he had to become that, but he thought that perhaps Jordie's death was decisive for him to have to fulfill the role of the person he had just lost. To be for others what no one had been for him, so they would not suffer what he had suffered. It was quite an altruistic act if he thought better of it.

But after so many years it was exhausting and he wished he could just fall into someone else's arms to rest, figuratively speaking. And there you were right in front of him, probably the person he loved the most, with an expression that reflected a willingness to listen to what he had to say.

So Kaz thought that, maybe for once, it was okay for him to be vulnerable.

“I had an older brother” he murmured, after a long while and you were a bit confused by the sudden change of subject, but you nodded your head so he knew you were listening “He died during the plague epidemic. And miss him so much"

You knew little, if anything, of the personal life of the man in front of you, so you didn't know how to react to the disclosure of that fact. You imagined a little Kaz, scared and sad because his brother was gone. You didn't think for a second about the horrible things he had to go through and that he, with some luck, would dare to tell you later.

But even with this paltry piece of information you couldn't help but feel enormous compassion. He was human, like everyone else, and he was afraid that death would come to take another person important to him. Now you understood better.

"What was his name?" you asked in a whisper, as gently as possible. Kaz was silent for a moment, reflecting no sentiment, then swallowed.

"Jordie"

You weren't going to ask him any more questions after that, you just looked into his eyes and you knew that this was his way of telling you that he trusted you to keep that shred of his past.

"Well, I think Jordie would be happy to know that now there are six of us who love you as he did" was what you replied. You didn't know if it was the answer he expected, but at least it was the one that had come from your heart. When he looked at you, you swore that his eyes were teary, although later you convinced yourself that it had only been an effect of the light.

"I hope we're fine now" he murmured, regaining his composure, referring to the problems that had existed between you after that discussion.

"Calm down, everything is fine. I know you can't live without me."

"Actually, I've had enough of Jesper seeing me with those murder-eyes."

"Then you noticed," you joked. You were completely exhausted and at that moment you were even more conscious, as if you were going to pass out the next second “Everything is fine” you repeated “I just hope this doesn't happen again. I… will try to be less impulsive. And you have to tell me if something's wrong and we'll figure it out, okay?"

Kaz hummed back and you put on a tight-lipped smile. Then you looked around you to analyze the chaos that had been left by the fight with those men, feeling exhausted just thinking that you would have to pick up the pieces of wood, the books, or clean the stains, and he realized what you were thinking by the look on your face.

“I'll send someone to clean all this up tomorrow, I promise. For now, you just… lie down”

"For the first time, I'm not going to argue with you," you laughed bitterly. Then a yawn invaded you and you felt your eyelids tremendously heavy, which he perceived. Kaz didn't want to leave there, even if you were on the verge of exhaustion, however, he didn't know what excuse to use to stay “Good night, Kaz. You should rest too"

"Yeah, um... I'll do it"

“Good”

There was silence for a few seconds. 

"Have you really forgiven me?" he asked, looking to make sure you weren't upset anymore. You smiled and, amid your delirium from exhaustion, you stood on your toes to kiss him on the cheek. He paled and held his breath, but you didn't notice.

“As much as you have forgiven me for screwing up the mission. Now go and sleep"

Perhaps it was the shock of receiving something like this from you that caused Kaz to practically run out of your room, without even saying goodbye, staying in the hallway for a moment to process things. The speed of the contact hadn't given him time to panic, but that didn't stop him from feeling the pumping of his heart hammering like crazy under his chest and hot cheeks under the memory of your lips on them.

When he locked himself in his room he tried to calm down, when he was taking off his clothes to put on his pajamas he tried again, washing his hands and face, going through paperwork before going to sleep, lying down on the bed, closing the eyes... but nothing worked.

And eventually he fell asleep with the ghost of your kiss haunting him through dreams.

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #the crows #six of crows #jesper fahey #inej gafha #wylan van eck #nina zenik #mathias helvar #shadow and bone #shadow and bone netflix #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker fanfic #kaz brekker imagine

[mcntsee]

Letters to her

prologue

summary: kaz’s letter to y/n throughout the years.

warnings: Kaz’s past is kinda mentioned, mentions of death, cursing

note: I tried to express kaz’s feelings and growth with every start and finish of all the letters, hopefully you guys understand it too. I added a little something at the end, hope you enjoy! <3333

first letter:

Deer y/n

My da said you can came come play wheneber you want to come play with my me again can you please come play with me soon pleas?

I miss you and Jordie miss and da and the little kitteny miss you we all misses you very much

Love Kaz!

(I drawed a pist picture of you and me and spots playing)

2nd letter

Dear Y/N,

I hope you're doing okay. I wanted to say a big thank you for being there when we said bye to my da. It made me feel better knowing you were there, even though it was kinda sad.

Guess what? Jordie said we're gonna move to Ketterdam. He says it's cause he wants me to go to a good school there. I'm not sure about leaving this house, but Jordie says it'll be good for us.

The cool part is that you live in Ketterdam! That means we can hang out more and play together. Remember when we used to build forts in the living room and pretend we were pirates? Maybe we can do that in Ketterdam too.

I'll miss this house a bit because it's where we played hide and seek and had ice cream parties, but I think Ketterdam will be fun too. And I'm really happy cause we'll get to see each other more often!

I will see you soon, okay?

Love, Kaz!

3rd letter

Dear y/n,

I'm really, really sorry I haven't come to see you yet. It's not 'cause I don't want to, I promise. You're still my bestest friend ever. It's just that things got a little crazy since we arrived.

Jordie met this guy named Jacob Hertzoon. And guess what? Jacob offered us a whole bunch of money for our house! Jordie said it's a really good thing 'cause we can use the money for important stuff. But it also means we're super busy.

I didn't want you to think I forgot about you or anything. I miss you a lot and I still want to see you and play together. Maybe once we're all settled in our new place and get the money, we can have a big adventure like we used to.

Thanks for being the best friend ever. I promise we'll hang out soon, okay?

Love, Kaz!

4th letter

Y/N,

Are you okay? Please write back! Jordie is gone. I need to know you're alive.

Kaz.

5th letter

Y/N,

I heard you went on quite the journey to Shu Han just to retrieve my cane. I assume the trip was bearable. Your efforts are appreciated.

It's curious how life unfolds, isn't it? One day we're children playing in the streets, the next we're scattered across the world for various reasons. Yet, here we are, still connected by some thread of familiarity.

I imagine you'll return from your expedition when the time is right. Until then, business with the dregs continues as usual. The city keeps turning, and so do its dealings. As for me, well, I have my own matters to attend to as soon as I’m able to walk again.

- K.B.

First note

Get well soon! Let me know if you need anything else.

- Love, Y/n!

6th letter

Y/N,

Your letter reached me, and I must admit, it contained more substance than I anticipated. Word travels fast in the Barrel, and it seems that Haskell has taken quite an interest in your recent endeavors. His words carry weight, though they seldom come without a price.

If his assessment holds true, and you manage to prove your worth in the upcoming job, it could indeed elevate you within the ranks. Haskell’s recognition of your potential is both promising and concerning. The higher one climbs, the more treacherous the fall can be.

In the midst of this, know that I await your return.

May you navigate these challenges with the same tenacity that has carried you thus far. I wish you the best of luck, Y/N. Tread carefully.

- K.B

7th letter

Y/N,

You certainly have a talent for uncovering promising recruits. Jesper Fahey. The word on the street is that he’s got a steady aim that’s worth noticing. The skills he possesses could indeed be valuable, particularly in the line of work we find ourselves engaged in.

However, I must tread cautiously when it comes to individuals entangled in debts and vices. Jesper Fahey, from what I’ve heard, is no stranger to gambling. His tendency to wager recklessly has garnered quite a reputation, one that isn’t entirely favorable. The loyalty of a man buried under the weight of debts is a precarious matter. Whether his skills can outweigh the burden of his choices remains to be seen.

Your perspective on recruits is valued, and I’ll certainly keep a watchful eye on Fahey. I trust your judgment, and I’m willing to entertain the possibility. In the midst of all this, remember that your return is anticipated and your presence missed.

Return safely,

K.B.

8th letter

Y/N,

Do you remember Jesper? It’s almost comical how, after discussing him in my last letter, fate seemed to conspire to validate our conversation. Not long after I sent those words to you, I found myself intervening to prevent Jesper from getting himself thoroughly thrashed due to his gambling debts.

I hope I’ve made the right call by extending a hand to Jesper. It’s a calculated risk, one that I’m hoping will pan out in our favor. There’s potential there, no doubt, but potential doesn’t always translate into reliability.

This letter is short, I know, but I will tell you more about it when you come back.

Stay safe,

K.B

9th letter

Y/n,

It’s been days since your last communication, and the weight of uncertainty presses heavily on me. The quiet absence of your presence has stirred an unease I’m not accustomed to.

I’ve seen you handle insane odds, and I know you’re more than capable. But here I am. My mind keeps wandering to places I’d rather it not go, imagining scenarios that could have unfolded, and none of them are sitting well with me.

I hope that this silence is a result of strategic detachment, that you’re immersed in the intricacies of the job and haven’t had a moment to spare for correspondence.

I’m not accustomed to this vulnerability, nor do I care for it. Yet, here I am, plagued by the absence of information. I ask you, if you’re able, to dispel this uncertainty. A simple message, a token of reassurance – anything to quell this rising tide of apprehension.

I await word from you with an intensity I hadn’t thought possible. May it come soon.

Expectantly,

K.B

10th letter

Y/N,

I received the coat you sent, and I must admit, it's a rare occasion when I'm at a loss for words. It's unlike anything I would've chosen for myself, yet somehow, it feels surprisingly fitting. I can't deny its utility either – I appreciate it.

Jesper and Nina have managed to cultivate a special talent for driving me to the brink of exasperation. Their camaraderie is both amusing and bewildering, a chaotic symphony that I'm still attempting to decipher.

Today was no different. Jesper's antics at the club bordered on audacious, and Nina's unbridled laughter was enough to turn heads in our direction. As I tried to navigate the sea of chaos they create, I found myself, unusually, yearning for a return to some semblance of normalcy.

I must confess, the prospect of your return holds an allure I hadn't anticipated. There's a steadiness in your presence, an understanding that's often a rare commodity in these tumultuous times. The chaos, the hustle – they feel more manageable when you're around.

Till then, I'll persevere in the sea of antics that Jesper and Nina stir up, counting down the days until your return.

Until then,

Kaz

11th letter

Y/N,

Your mention of the jurda parem caught my attention, no doubt about it. It’s a name that carries weight, and I’ve got a feeling we’re treading on some dangerous ground here. It’s the kind of thing that’s best left untouched until we’ve got a better handle on what it entails.

Listen, I won’t preach, but I’ve got to say it – be careful and keep an eye out for trouble. The city’s not known for being kind to those who don’t tread carefully, and I’d hate to see you caught in something you didn’t see coming.

I’ve got a job for you. One that’s right up your alley. It’s always better discussing these things face to face, so when you can, make your way back. The sooner, the better.

Until then,

Kaz

12th letter

Y/N,

I’ve never been one for words, as you well know. My tongue seems to have a mind of its own, often saying the wrong things at the wrong time. And when it comes to matters like these, I’ve found that my eloquence takes a swift exit.

So, here I am, writing this letter in hopes that the words come out right, that they somehow capture what I’m feeling. I’ve spent years navigating the intricacies of this city, and yet the complexities of my own emotions have managed to elude me.

I’ve always valued our connection, from those early days of childhood mischief to the present. You’ve been a constant in my life, someone whose presence brings a sense of order to the chaos that surrounds us. And somewhere along the way, that bond transformed into something deeper, something I’ve been grappling with.

I find myself wanting to say more, to articulate the thoughts that remain half-formed in my mind. But it’s difficult, Y/N, and this letter might be the best I can manage.

What I’m trying to say is that you’ve become more than a friend, more than a partner in crime. There’s a depth to my feelings that I’m only beginning to understand. And if I’m being truly honest, I’d like to explore where this path might lead.

I understand if you need time, if my sudden candor is a lot to process. But I wanted to put these thoughts down, to let you know where my heart is at. And if you’re open to it, if you’ve felt even a fraction of what I’ve been feeling, then maybe we can navigate this new terrain together.

Kaz.

Second note

I’d like to explore where this path might lead too.

Love, y/n!

13th letter

Y/N,

I can't thank you enough for stepping in when I couldn't. I hope the contractor in Lij wasn’t hard to handle.

Now, I have a proposal of a different kind. How about we put our skills to use in a more relaxed setting? I'd like to take you out to dinner. No heists, no secret dealings, just you and me, navigating the menu instead of the back alleys.

I've made reservations for us at a place that's a bit more reputable than the Barrel's taverns. Consider it a step toward normalcy, a chance to enjoy an evening without looking over our shoulders.

Looking forward to your return,

Kaz

14th letter

Dear Y/N,

Your letter reached me, and I've got to say, the way you put it into words – how much you miss me – it hits home. The distance is a constant reminder of the warmth I've grown accustomed to, and I find myself missing you more than I thought possible.

This job is driving me insane, and my thoughts often wander back to Ketterdam, back to you. It's like a pull, a magnetic force that tugs me back to the life we've been building together.

I bought something with me – a box of those chocolates you can't seem to get enough of. The catch? I'm hoping they survive the journey and don't turn into a gooey mess.

I want you to know that with every sunrise and sunset that passes, I'm getting more restless to return to the city that's been our canvas, our backdrop. Until then, my thoughts are with you, and I'm eagerly counting down the days until I can wrap my arms around you again.

With all my longing,

Kaz

3rd note

I apologize, it seems the chocolates didn’t fare too well. I hope they’re still somewhat salvageable and that they manage to satisfy your sweet tooth.

- Kaz

15th letter

Dear Y/N,

I hope this letter finds you on the mend, wrapped in warmth and taking good care of yourself. It pains me to know you're unwell while I'm away, unable to offer even the smallest comfort.

My love, get well soon. I miss your laughter, your presence – they're a part of my life I can't bear to be without for long. The distance feels heavier when I know you're not well.

Today, during the heist, I saw a small brown cat with delicate white spots. The sight of it was like a reminder of simpler times, of moments when things were less complex. It stirred memories of my old cat "Spots," whose antics used to provide a reprieve from the realities of the Barrel.

As I look around, I find myself yearning for the day when I'll return to Ketterdam. Until then, my thoughts are with you, my love. Rest well, recover soon, and know that I will be there soon.

With all my affection,

Kaz

16th letter

Dearest Y/N,

There are times in life when words are inadequate, when even the most eloquent phrases fall short of capturing the depth of one's emotions. Today is one such day, and I find myself grappling with a sentiment that defies my usual precision.

I love you, Y/N. There, I've said it, though the words seem almost insufficient to convey the weight of my feelings. You've woven your presence into the very fabric of my being, and I find that I'm navigating uncharted territory, stumbling upon emotions that have long remained dormant.

In a world marked by uncertainties, you've become my constant, the one I turn to when the winds of the Barrel grow fierce. I cherish our bond, our shared history, and the future we're forging together.

As the days pass, my conviction only grows stronger. You've touched a part of me I thought was unreachable, and I find myself grateful for the warmth you've brought into my life.

Love,

Kaz

4th note

I love you too, more than words can express.

- Love, y/n!

17th letter

My Love,

I've stumbled upon something while on my trip to Lij, a revelation that caught me by surprise. My old house is up for sale. I confess, it's a notion that's been hovering in the back of my mind, a possibility I've been toying with.

And then, as if fate had a hand to play, it occurred to me – what if we made it our own? Y/N, would you consider it? The thought of creating new memories in a space that's intertwined with my past is something that holds a certain allure. A place where we could carve out our own sanctuary, away from the schemes and chaos that surround us.

If this notion speaks to you, let me know. It's a step I'd only take with you, a shared decision that would mark a new chapter in our journey together.

Love,

Kaz

18th letter

This is to certify that Y/N L/N and Kaz Brekker is (are) now registered as the absolute proprietor(s) of the land comprised in the above-mentioned title, subject to the entries in the register relating to the land and to such of the overriding interests set out in section 30 of the Registered Land Act as may for the time being subsist and affect the land.

Kaz Brekker __________

19th letter

My love Y/N,

I hope this letter finds you in good spirits, even though I’m far away in Shu Han. I wanted to share something with you – I stumbled upon the perfect dining table. It’s a piece that seems to embody the essence of what we’ve built together, a symbol of the life we’re crafting, even from a distance.

As I stand here, thousands of miles away, my thoughts are never far from Ketterdam, from you. Every corner of the city is a reminder of our shared journey, of the future we’re molding. And with every passing day, I find myself longing to return, to be by your side again.

The plans we’ve made, the dreams we’ve spun – they’re a driving force, propelling me forward through the challenges that Shu Han presents. I promise you, Y/N, I’ll be back soon enough.

Until then, know that you’re in my thoughts, my heart, every moment of the day.

With all my affection,

Kaz

20th letter

Love,

I’ve come across some interesting information that might be of use to you. It seems that there’s a rumor circulating about a certain merchant in the Fifth Harbor. This merchant, it’s said, has been trying to make deals with both the Merchants Council and the Whitecrows, something that has my interest piqued.

I’ve also managed to uncover some details about a potential source of counterfeit currency that might be making its way into the hands of certain unsavory individuals. The source, surprisingly, seems to be tied to a printing press hidden away in the Barrel. It’s a curious development, one that could have far-reaching consequences.

And finally, I’ve received word that a shipment of goods has gone missing from a storage warehouse near the docks. This might not seem significant at first glance, but it’s the timing that intrigues me. A missing shipment, coupled with the merchant’s deals and the counterfeit currency – it’s all connected, I’m certain of it.

Stay vigilant, stay cautious. And know that even in the midst of our separate tasks, you’re in my thoughts.

I miss you, and I love you.

Love,

Kaz

21st letter

Y/N,

Listen to me, and listen carefully. You need to come back to Ketterdam, now. What you walked into, it was a trap – calculated, deliberate. I can’t explain it all in this letter, but trust me when I say your safety is in jeopardy.

I don’t care what you’re in the middle of, what plan you’re executing – drop it, and make your way back. I can’t lose you, not now, not like this. The threat is real, and the longer you stay where you are, the more danger you’re in.

I’m begging you, Y/N, hurry back. We can sort through the details, I’ll explain everything, but right now, all that matters is your safety. Don’t delay, don’t second-guess. Just come back.

Kaz

22nd letter

Love,

I’m pleading with you, begging you to reach out, to let me know you’re safe. This silence, it’s a torment I can’t bear. Every thought is tinged with worry, and I find myself grappling with scenarios that are far too grim.

I don’t care about the details, the reasons – they pale in comparison to my overwhelming need to know you’re okay. We’ve faced down darkness together, navigated treacherous waters, and I can’t accept the idea of you being lost in the midst of it all.

Please, Y/N, come back to Ketterdam. If you’re reading this, if you’re anywhere, find a way to let me know you’re alive. I’ll make sense of the rest later. Just, my love, come back to me.

Kaz

23rd letter

Y/N,

I can’t wait any longer. The silence is a weight on my chest, a suffocating reminder of the unknown. I’ve agonized, I’ve begged, and still, there’s no word from you. It’s time I take matters into my own hands.

Please, hold on. I’m coming. I hope you’re okay, I hope you’re just out of reach, waiting for me to catch up. It’s a risk I have to take.

I love you.

Stay strong, my love. I’m on my way.

24th letter

My Dearest Y/N,

It's been a week since you left us, a week of darkness and aching emptiness that nothing can fill. I know you won't get this letter, that these words will remain suspended in the void, but I find myself needing to put them down, needing to release the feelings that have taken hold of me.

The pain is suffocating, a weight that's settled into my bones. I still can't grasp the reality, can't accept that you're gone, that your light has been extinguished. It's a void that stretches beyond comprehension, a void I'm stumbling through.

The memories are a double-edged sword. They're a balm, a reminder of the moments we shared, of your laughter, your warmth. But they're also a blade, a reminder of what's been taken from us, of the future that was stolen away.

I want you to know, even though you'll never read these words – I love you. I always have, and I always will. You were more than a partner, more than a confidant. You were my anchor, my solace, my reason to keep pushing forward.

It's impossible to fathom life without you, Y/N. Your absence leaves a void that can never be filled. I can only hope that wherever you are, you're at peace, free from the pain that's gripped my heart.

Until we meet again, my love,

Kaz

25th letter

My dearest Y/N,

Six months have passed, and the ache of your absence has only deepened. The city, our city, is a different place without you. The crows, the ones you brought together, are slowly finding their separate paths, their separate destinies. It's as if the world itself is reshaping in your absence.

I found the little box where you kept all those letters. Your letters, my words – I'm surprised, in a way, that you kept them all. It's a piece of you that I'll treasure forever.

It's in these moments of solitude that I find myself yearning for your presence the most. Your laughter, your insights – they're still very much alive in my memories, and they continue to guide me through the labyrinthine twists of this world.

I miss you, Y/N. More than words can say. The void you left behind is as vast as the Barrel itself, and there's a hollowness that's impossible to fill. I can only hope that, wherever you are, you've found the peace that eluded you in life.

Until the next time we meet, my love,

Kaz

26th letter

My Dearest Y/N,

Time has continued its relentless march, and two years have slipped through my grasp since you left us. The city, once our canvas, has taken on a different hue, a different weight. The crows have scattered, their paths diverging, and the life we built together feels like a distant memory.

I wanted to share something with you – I've made a decision about the house, the one that once held the echoes of our shared history. It's a decision born out of the reality that without you, it's ceased to be a home. The walls, the rooms – they're empty without your presence, and it's a stark reminder of what's been lost.

Putting it up for sale again, it's not just about letting go of a physical space. It's about acknowledging that our time together, our shared moments, live on in memories, not in bricks and mortar. I carry you with me, always, but it's time to release the hold the house had on me.

Life continues to move forward, though it's a path I tread with a shadow that can never be dispelled. I hope, wherever you are, you've found the peace that eluded you in life. And I hope, wherever I am, you're watching over me, your presence a guiding light through the darkness.

With a heart full of love,

Kaz

27th letter

My dearest,

It's been almost three years, and some days it feels like it was just yesterday when I last saw you. I miss you, fuck, I miss you so much. It's like this gaping hole, this emptiness that can't be filled. No matter how many schemes I plan, no matter how many crows I put to work, it's like there's this void that's always there.

I was gonna do it, you know? I was gonna ask you. I got this ring, this small little thing that I bought just a month before you fucking died. It's funny, you know, I never thought I'd be the one to feel this way, to want something that much, to want to stake a claim in this shithole of a world.

But I guess that's what you did to me. You turned this cold, calculating schemer into someone who wanted more, who wanted you. I'm sorry I didn't ask you sooner, that I waited, that I let time slip through my fingers like sand. I'm sorry I couldn't be the one you deserved.

You were my light, Y/N. You shined a light into my darkest corners, and now that you're gone, it's like the shadows have returned with a vengeance. I need you, I need you so fucking much it's like a knife in my gut every damn day.

I don't know where you are, what's out there after this life, but I hope you're somewhere better. I hope you're at peace, and I hope you know that I'm here, waiting in this shithole, missing you every fucking day.

I love you, Y/N. I love you so fucking much it hurts. And I wish... I wish I could've showed it more when you were still here.

With all my shattered pieces,

Kaz

28th letter

Deer Y/N,

This will be the last letter I write to you, and as I put pen to paper, I’m filled with a mixture of emotions that words could never truly capture. The passage of time has been unkind, separating us by years that have felt both fleeting and eternal.

It’s strange, the way grief works. It’s a steady ache that never truly fades, an ache I’ve grown accustomed to carrying. There’s an emptiness in my heart that’s become a part of me, a void that can never be filled by anyone or anything else.

I’ve learned to navigate this world without you, though it’s been a journey fraught with challenges and moments of unbearable pain. There’s a longing, a yearning, that can never be quenched. You were my constant, the force that kept me grounded, and now that you’re gone, there’s a piece of me that will forever remain incomplete.

As time marches on, I find myself grappling with a heartbreaking reality – the sound of your voice is fading from my memory. The way you felt, the touch of your hand in mine, it’s becoming harder to recall. It’s as though the vibrant details of your presence are slipping through my fingers, leaving behind a hazy impression.

And oh, Y/N, the thought that your laughter will never again reach my ears, it’s a pain that reverberates through my very being. Your face, once etched in my mind with unparalleled clarity, is beginning to blur around the edges. The little details that I once treasured, the nuances that made you uniquely you, they’re slipping away, like grains of sand carried by the wind.

I love you, Y/N. Those words have become a mantra, a whispered refrain that echoes in the corners of my mind. I carry your memory with me, every step of the way, and I hold onto the hope that, wherever you are, you’ve found the peace that eluded you in life.

As I place this letter alongside the others, a part of me hopes that somehow, somewhere, you’ll receive these words, that you’ll know that you were loved, that you’re still loved, even in your absence.

I miss you, “we all misses you very much.”

Love, Kaz!

#fanfiction #kaz brekker x reader #six of crows #six of crows x reader #angst #fluff #kaz brekker #i cry now #flangst

[green-typewriterz]

Please.

Kaz Brekker x gn!reader

Summary: Kaz struggles with affection and touch, but he has to do something to stop you from going on a heist that could possibly kill you. 

ASK: N/A

Warnings: Kaz being Kaz, maybe slightly ooc Kaz as its my first time writing, injury, talks of death, slight ptsd

word count: 1171

Kaz sat in his office with the door closed, not a single sound escaping from under the crack. It was something you and the Crows were used to but it didn’t stop you from wondering if he was ok. While you and Jesper worked the bar - chatting happily with the pigeons that you liked to call your regulars, Wylan and Nina sat in the corner of the room, drawing out plans, Matthias had just gone outside to follow after someone who hadn’t paid and Inej was probably somewhere near - you just couldn’t see her.

The next heist was days away and both yours and Inej’s talents with staying quiet would come in handy. Though you weren’t a master spy like your Suli friend, nor could you fight in the same acrobatic way as she, you were nimble and silent, an intimidating quiet in a room full of leaders. That and you were amazing with knives. However, there was one flaw in every plan the group came up with, one that could prove to be life or death for you and Inej. The guards were never off duty and they always had guns. You’d have to fight to get past them.

It eventually got to two in the morning and the Crow Club was finally closing, yet there hadn’t even been the sound of Kaz’s uneven footsteps creaking across the floor. You sat on the other side of the bar as Jesper cleaned glasses, annoyed look in his eyes.

Eventually he turned to you. “I could use some help, you know?” Jesper spoke in mock annoyance, but any joking emotions on his face dropped when he saw the worry in your eyes. “Look, y/n, if you’re that worried about him, then go up there. Bring him tea or something.” You met his eyes and sighed, nodded slowly as you headed to the kitchens to make him a drink and some sort of food.

You headed up to his office with a hot cup of tea and a few pastries you had found in the pantry. You gently pushed open the door and the slithers of light from the hallway seeped into the room. Kaz sat at his desk, face lit only by a singular lamp that cast sickly shadows on his sharpened features. He looked tired. He glanced up as you stepped further inside, a tired frown on his features.

“Y/n, I’m busy,” he muttered quietly, head falling gently over his eyes. His attention returned to the plans in front of him. You placed down the plate and mug on the table and smiled softly.

He looked at the plate in confusion as you spoke, “I brought you some food, and a drink.” He didn’t respond so you sat down in the chair opposite him. “You’ve been here for hours, Kaz. You need to take a break.”

He put a gloved hand against his temple and sighed, “There’s no time for breaks. Every detail needs to be perfect, this has to go smoothly for us.”

You nodded in understanding, this was a difficult thing for any person, let alone a group of teenagers. “I know, Kaz. we’re all working hard.” Kaz finally looked up at you for more than three seconds and his eyes narrowed into an unreadable expression.

“You and Inej are crucial to this plan, it wouldn’t be possible without you. But-” He cut himself off, breath catching in his throat. His next words were a whisper, “But I don’t want you to go.” Your brows furrowed in confusion, why was he changing his mind now, so soon before the heist?

You sat for a while, not knowing what to say, eventually, you assumed it was him not wanting to lose his two best ‘spies’ in one go. “Kaz, we’ve done this hundreds of times, Inej and I are fully prepared for whatever happens. You don’t have to worry.”

He stood up abruptly, his chair scraping across the floor, scratching over the previous marks in the wood. His eyes seemed to hold a fervour to them you had never seen before. “It’s more than just the heist, Y/N. This job is dangerous. I can’t afford to lose anyone. I can’t afford to lose…you.”

You blinked a few times in confusion, not understanding where his sincerity had come from. He breathed out slowly and, almost as if it were against his human nature to do so, gingerly stepped forward, his eyes glued to your hands. “You’re important to me, Y/N.” His gaze flitted up to meet yours and his brows furrowed in what looked like pain as he stepped closer still. “Promise me you’ll get out if things get too dangerous.”

A sigh escaped your lips and you shook your head, “I’m not a child, Kaz. I’ve gone through worse, multiple times. You can’t expect me to stop now because you suddenly gained the ability to feel empathy.” You whispered. You hadn’t meant it to sound harsh, but the words sliced through him and his gaze lowered. Turning to the door, you began to walk away, aiming to get a semblance of a good night's sleep before the manic day of final planning began tomorrow.

Despite this aim, you only got part way toward the door when you felt cool leather grip your wrist. You gasped at the sensation and turned to see Kaz holding you in place. He breathed out shakily and his eyes closed for a moment, almost as if he were trying to calm himself. You gave him time. “Please.”

It was one word, barely a whisper above the sounds of Ketterdam from Kaz’s open window, yet it felt like a stone wall he had spent years building with his own scarred hands had come crumbling down. Heavy rocks he had cemented together with avoidance and fear fell onto his feet, pushing themselves against his chest and Jordie’s pained body lay on the other side. He withered there for a moment, trying to calm himself. He could feel the warmth of your hands through his gloves - the sensation blurring the memories of the cold bodies beneath him. He breathed in once more, eyes still shut.

“Please.”

You found yourself unable to breathe, not knowing how to deal with his vulnerability, it wasn’t something the Crows were known for. “Kaz…” You trailed off, moving closer and readjusting to hold his hand in both of yours. You worked slowly, trying to keep the both of you as calm as possible. His hand shook under yours and you released slightly, the ghost of your hand still gently touching his. “I can’t leave Inej to go alone.”

He met your eyes and nodded. He knew it would be how you'd reply. You were too good to all the people around him, too good for him. Eventually, Kaz pulled his hand away, the feeling of another person that close to him becoming too much. “I’m sorry.” He whispered, “I shouldn’t have asked that of you.”

He let you leave.

#fic #fanfic #one shot #writing #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #six of crows #jesper fahey #inej ghafa #kaz is vulnerable for once #angst #a little angst never hurt anyone right #can i write a happy fic? its yet to happen

[thebadgerclan]

The Panther and The Fox

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x reader

Requested by @imabee-oralizard 

Summary: Sturmhond needs a job done...

Few things were certain in Ketterdam, but one thing was: when Sturmhond came to town, your life was about to get a lot more interesting.  You’d been in the common area of the Slat, helping Inej clean her blades, when Kaz had entered, the privateer trailing behind him.  “New job,” Kaz called, getting everyone’s attention.  “N–Sturmhond has requested our assistance.”

“What exactly will we be assisting with?” Jesper asked from his seat on the couch, his arm draped across Wylan’s shoulders.  Sturmhond stepped forward, clearing his throat.  “A rather large and valuable sapphire has been lifted from the vaults in Os Alta.  Rumor has it that it’s found its way here.  I was enlisted to find the gem and bring it home, and I found myself thinking ‘who in Ketterdam could help me?’”

“And we’re what you came up with?” you asked, drawing Sturmhond’s attention.  “Well,” the privateer replied.  “Your boss once helped me lift nearly 1 ton of titanium from a heavily guarded shipyard, I’d say finding and lifting a sapphire is within your skillset.  And might I ask…”  Sturmhond moved to stand before you, taking your hand in his.  “What a stunningly beautiful woman such as yourself is doing in the Barrel?”

It seemed Sturmhond wasn’t beating around the bush.  You pulled your hand back, setting Inej’s knife on the table.  “The same as everyone here: trying to survive.  And it’s pretty bold for a pirate to question me, don’t you think?”  You rose from your seat and made your way upstairs to gather what you’d need for the job, and as you left, you heard Sturmhond mutter, “privateer!” under his breath.

***

This was what the Crows did best: plotting and scheming.  The six of you–Kaz, Inej, Jesper, Wylan, Sturmhond, and yourself–stood around the table, papers and blueprints covering the surface.  You pointed to one of the portraits, Ericson Hills, a young and inexperienced mercher.  “He’s been bragging about a ‘new acquisition’ straight from Os Alta,” you explained.  “Saying that he wants to give it to his new lady friend, but it’s ‘too gaudy’ and ‘likely to be stolen by some Barrel rats’.”

Sturmhond nodded.  “So you’re not just a pretty face,” he said with a smirk.  “But sharp as a tack, too.”  It was almost painful how obvious he was being, and you’d be lying if you said he didn’t give you butterflies.  It was Sturmhond for Ghezen’s sake, the world renowned privateer. And thanks to Kaz, you knew that he was indeed King Nikolai.  But watching his flirt and flounder was too fun, so you decided to let it play out for a bit longer.

“You know what else is sharp, sailor boy?” you quipped.  “The daggers I keep up my sleeves.  Pray you don’t get the chance to see them.”  Your words were harsh, but you said them with a smirk, so Sturmhond knew the chase was still on.  Kaz obnoxiously cleared his throat, rolling his eyes at you.  “Now, the plan:  Inej will stake out Hills’ manor, learn the guards' routes.  Wylan will make a few flash bombs, and Jesper will be on scene in case of any trouble.

“Once the coast is clear, Inej will get Y/N inside.  Y/N will find the sapphire and replace it with a decoy.  With any luck, we’ll be in and out with no trouble.”  “I’m sorry,” Sturmhond said.  “I thought Inej was the stealthy one?”  Jesper laughed.  “There’s a reason they call Y/N The Panther.  She’s quick, nimble, eerily silent.  And she’s got a knack for memorization.”

It was true.  If you were handed a layout or blueprint, you could memorize it in 10 minutes.  Yes, Inej was a good spider, silent and quick, but no one had your talent for memory.  Sturmhond looked at you, just now realizing your choice of attire.  You wore an ensemble of black leather, the garments skin tight and form fitting.  Your hair was braided back, and your daggers were now plainly visible.

“I didn’t know panthers wore leather,” he said, and you tsked, crossing your arms.  “And I didn’t know foxes wore teal.”  Sturmhond couldn’t hold back his laughter.  Saints, she’s perfect, he thought, but before he could say anything more, you and Inej had left the room.  “A little advice,” Jesper said, clapping the privateer on the shoulder.  “Teasing will only get you so far with Y/N.”

“I…I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sturmhond replied, feeling the flush creep up his neck.  “Sure, man,” Jesper said, winking as he turned to leave.  Kaz was the only one left in the room, and he said nothing as he cleaned the papers from the table.  “Let’s talk payment, shall we?” he said a few moments later.  Sturmhond nodded.  “I can approximate the value of the sapphire and pay you in cash.”  Kaz nodded.  “Reasonable.  You can’t be seen at Hills’ manor, this job can’t be tied back to Ravka.”  The privateer nodded.  “Understood.  I’ll wait on the Volkvolny then?”

Kaz shrugged.  “If you want.  It’s Y/N making the drop, by the way, so I’d work out what you want to say to her before she shows up.”  “W-what are you talking about?”  “Please, Sturmhond.  You’re a smart man, surely you’ve seen the way she looks at you?”  Sturmhond balked.  “I…what?”  Kaz sighed.  “She likes you, privateer, it’s obvious.”  “How is it obvious?”

“Well, for starters, she’d have castrated anyone else who called her ‘more than a pretty face’, regardless if it was meant to be flirtatious.  Second, I saw how she was looking at you.  She wants you.”  “How…” Sturmhond was speechless, for quite possibly the first time in his life.  “How do you know that?”  “Because,” Kaz said, leaning on his cane as he stood.  “It’s the same way you look at her.  And don’t go getting any ideas, privateer.  I assess, I analyze, it’s nothing personal.  Now let’s go.”  As Sturmhond left the room, he thought he heard Kaz whisper something under his breath. “I know because it’s how I look at Inej.”

***

The job took an hour and a half, but to Sturmhond, it felt infinite.  He stood on the deck, pacing back and forth, anxiously waiting for you to appear.  Not just so he’d have the sapphire, but so he could see you, talk to you.  All night he’d been thinking about what to say, how to phrase it so he didn’t sound like an ass.  

You’re so beautiful, please don’t hate me.  I know we’ve only known each other for an hour, but I think I love you.  Do you want to come to Ravka and be my Queen?  Yeah, the last option was definitely too much.  Just when Sturmhond was about to go below decks, a shadow appeared on the railing.

“Y/N?” he whispered, and the shadow moved closer.  You pulled back your hood and held out your hand, the sapphire glinting in the moonlight.  “Kaz will be expecting your payment in one week’s time,” you said, and Sturmhond nodded.  “Thank you,” he replied, taking the jewel.  “My country is once more in your debt.”

You were silent for a moment before speaking.  “You asked me earlier what someone like me was doing in the Barrell.”  “I did, and I apologize, if-”  “But what’s someone like you doing masquerading as a privateer?”  Sturmhond cocked his head.  “What do you mean, lovely?”  “I mean, what in Ghezen’s name is the Ravkan King doing sailing to Ketterdam when he could easily hire someone to do it for him?”

“I… that’s…”  “I already know,” you said.  “And I have no plans on telling anyone.”  Nikolai sighed.  “Thank you.  And I am sorry, for what I said earlier.  I should have been more tactful, and-”  “Why are you sorry?”  Nikolai was officially at a loss for words.  “I…”  “You’re cute, Latsov,” you said, and Nikolai was sure he’d died and gone to heaven.  “I wouldn’t let just anyone call me ‘a pretty face’.  So…there’s a spot on East Stave that serves the best waffles in the city, if you’re interested?”

A smile broke out on his face.  “Are you asking me on a date?”  You looked over your shoulder at him as you walked away.  “Maybe I am, maybe I’m not.  But you’re paying, privateer.”  Nikolai followed you off of the ship, and once you were side by side, he reached out and took your hand.  And when you squeezed his hand, looking at him with a soft smile, he knew for sure: he was a goner.

#nikolai lantsov x reader #shadow and bone reader insert #nikolai lantsov x you #shadow and bone

[jackwolfes]

Wesper with 20 for the kisses ask game?

kisses on a scar (where it doesn't hurt)

CN: past physical abuse, implied sex

In the past two weeks Jesper has learnt many little things living in a Geldstraat mansion. He has learnt that he really rather likes having a private chef, and that he likes the way this chef in particular makes him waffles. He's also learnt that there is a right way to fold your napkin for dinner, a wrong way to dismiss a staff member when they bring up coffee, and that an expensive blanket really does make all the difference. 

Jesper has also learnt that Wylan Van Eck is a fantastic person to live with and love. 

Even though grief has worn them both down around the edges Jesper sees infinite light in his merchling's blue eyes. He hears unfettered joy in his laughter — because Wylan has laughed a lot lately — and savours every soft, lingering kiss. 

He has also learnt that he rather enjoys the other kinds of kisses Wylan gives him. 

Three days after that dreadful day a healer came round, sitting Wylan down and running gifted hands over each battered bruise. Jesper sat with him at his request, not holding his hand but wanting to. He watched each mark vanish, hearing the faint hitch in Wylan's breath as fractured bones knitted back together. Then the healer left them be and Wylan showed Jesper what sort of down payment he wanted to offer. 

Now, Jesper gazes lazily across Wylan's bedroom, still feeling utterly satisfied from the night before. A smile lingers at the corner of his lips as the memories dance across his mind. Wylan is still tucked beneath his arm, breathing easily. The past few weeks have certainly been a learning experience, but Jesper's most recent educational endeavor has been discovering what way Wylan likes to be touched best if they're aiming to make him come. 

Saints, had it been a good night. 

"We can't stay in bed all morning," Wylan murmurs. 

For the past fifteen minutes he's been drawing patterns on Jesper's bare chest with his fingertip. Naked beneath the blankets, the two of them are pressed together against each other. It thrills Jesper, feeling Wylan's bare thighs against his own. The very same thighs he was perched between last night. 

"Mm," Jesper finally replies, trying to force himself to pay attention before he gets distracted and finds his body betraying what he's thinking about. "You sure? I can be plenty convincing, merchling." 

Wylan laughs. He smacks his palm against Jesper's chest lightly, then pulls away. Jesper frowns at him and means nothing by it but joy. He watches Wylan stand, stooping low to snatch up the drawers he allowed Jesper to peel off him last night and tug them back on. He forgoes a shirt, though, meandering across the room to head towards his vanity. 

From the bed, Jesper stares at Wylan's naked back. He is struck suddenly by the fact that he has never actually paid attention to Wylan's body without a shirt on. Until last night they've been sleeping in separate beds. 

There is a scar. 

Wylan has started messing around with some of the lotions on his vanity, head ducked down. It leaves Jesper with a clear view of the scar down the length of his shoulder blade. It is thin and corded, tracking unignorable variation over his pale skin. Jesper hadn't really looked at his back last night when the two of them were naked together, and he hasn't seen much of Wylan naked otherwise. But in this peaceful moment he has a perfect view of Wylan's uncovered skin, and cannot look away from the mark. 

Jesper crawls out of bed, making his way over to Wylan almost cautious. No one can ever describe Jesper as careful, but Wylan is something he wants to take care with. 

"I don't need you distracting me over here," Wylan calls over his shoulder, having spotted Jesper starting to move in the mirror. He catches Jesper's eye in a reflection. There's still a smile in his words, but suddenly all Jesper can imagine is the ache of a boy beaten and bloodied. "Jes?"

He blinks, not having realised just how distracted that train of thought made him or how close he ended up getting. When he looks at Wylan in the mirror again he sees his pale brow furrowed. 

Before Jesper really thinks about it he's lifted his hand and brought his fingertips up to the scar on the back of Wylan's shoulder. Wylan's breath catches, a gunshot in the silence. Jesper freezes. 

With effort, he sees Wylan swallow. He shifts, weight adjusting, but he doesn't edge away from Jesper entirely. His hand stays on Wylan's skin, glancing over the scar. For an eternal second, the two of them are silent. 

Jesper breaks it first. 

"On Vellgeluk," he starts. In the mirror, he sees Wylan shut his eyes. The after-image of regret is obvious on his shut eyelids and it makes Jesper feel awful. It feels like infinite years since that afternoon on Vellgeluk but they both remember the things that were said. The secrets spilled against their holders will. 

Wylan stretches a hand up, brushing his fingers over the back of his shoulder. He can't quite reach it, but brushes against the edge of Jesper's finger. 

"He didn't do it himself," he offers. There is no need to acknowledge who he is. "There was a doctor that told him—" Wylan inhales deeply like the words are fighting him. Jesper wants desperately to tell him he doesn't need to carry on, but he can't bring himself to. Regardless, Wylan presses on. "The doctor said beatings would help. Beltings. He didn't seem to care about folding over the metal. Pain clears the mind, apparently." 

Jesper curses. Wylan's fingers twitch one more time, making Jesper too aware once more about the fact he's still touching something he shouldn't. He goes to jerk away but Wylan moves faster, grabbing for Jesper's hand and keeping it still. He has to stretch his arm backwards over his shoulder to do so but it does what he intends it to. 

"It doesn't hurt anymore. It hasn't hurt in years." His voice is the softest whisper that betrays his vulnerability. Jesper won't say weakness, because Wylan is not weak. He is basalt glass. No acid inside his soul burns him. 

But this kind of vulnerability is entirely different to the vulnerability they showed each other last night. This vulnerability is infinitely scarier. 

Jesper exhales. It makes his breath ghost over the bare expanse of Wylan's shoulder. It ruffles curly red hair and makes the young man shiver. Before he can overthink it Jesper ducks his head and replaces the touch of his fingers with his lips. Wylan gasps, adjusting the hand that had been touching Jesper's finger to brush against the side of his head. Jesper inhales the scent of sweat and lemon soap, leaving his lips on the mark like he can wipe it away.

"Your father is a monster," he finally whispers, lips moving against Wylan's bare skin. Jesper glances up to catch Wylan's eye in the mirror again and sees him smile. 

"Yeah," he says, "but the monsters I'm friends with are far scarier." 

The thought makes Jesper laugh. He wraps his arms around Wylan's waist, hugging him back against his chest and relishing the warmth of him. One more time, Jesper kisses the back of Wylan's neck. 

"Damn straight," he says. "Now, how about we ask your chef to make more of those waffles?" 

#this one got rather long (and i smushed two together) but i had a really specific idea for this! #also none of these fills are being edited or proofread and i wrote this one in a car so sorry if it's got glaring errors lmfao #kiss prompts #wesper #soc #six of crows #wylan van eck #jesper fahey #asks #ace-kaz-brekker

[targaryenluvs]

In a dark and rainy night, reader and jesper spend time cuddling in bed until next morning. anything for this man because he seems to give the best cuddles 🫣

Stormy Days and Warm Beds

jesper fahey x fem!reader

warnings: none really, bed invasion courtesy of reader, cuddles n kisses?? (hope you like it 🤭) pillow fights, this is so fluffy i love it

You and Jesper had been together for only a few months. You’d been careful at the start since you knew Jesper and his uh, extracurricular activities were a known fact. He was a gorgeous, flirt sharpshooter how could he not be having fun?

You didn’t want to get your hopes up since you knew how your friend was.

But overtime his flirty side seemed to only be on around you, his smile always beamed when directed at you, he’d straighten in his chair when you entered the room and you’d once caught him whining about you being sick since he wanted to take you out to dinner.

You knew he was only yours.

And the two of you were like koalas, always clinging onto each other as if the other was a tree. You’d play with rings in order to calm yourself down sometimes, Jes would play with your hair on the regular, you’d read to him but he’d never pay attention when he was feeling extra affectionate.

Kaz even had to alter the boarding at the Slat since the two of you (Jesper begging him in his office when he had the time) always whined about being so far apart.

So when the two of you were apart, it was dreadful.

Like now, Jesper was currently out scouting with Inej and they had been for over two days. Trying to draw up a definitive schedule of a certain Museum owners daily life. They were far from the Barrel on the opposite side of Ketterdam, night and day, meaning they hadn’t come back at all.

And it was so hard to not try and run over. But Kaz explained, (multiple times since you wouldn’t take no for an answer) too many people would draw attention and you would distract Jesper vice versa.

So you settled for the next best thing, his room.

The bed was warm for some reason, the reason being Jesper had convinced Nina to swap roles with him so he could come home under the false pretence of him being ‘Too beautiful to camp out in such a dump.’

He didn’t want to disturb you so he figured he’d see you in the morning but before he could sleep his hunger became evident, so he’d gone for food downstairs.

The pillow smelt so much like him it was crazy. You’d figured it would have faded a little by now but it was so strong you were bewildered but also absolutely knackered so you ignored it, until-

“Oh. Hello random woman in my bed.” He grinned as he crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. (iykyk)

“Jesper Fahey I am not a random woman.”

“Samantha is that you?” Jesper joked as he approached your side of the bed as you got up and smacked him on the side with his pillow, but he quickly managed to grab it from you and throw it to the side as he took off his boots and jumped beside you eliciting a large groan from the bed underneath.

“Careful you’ll break the frame.”

“Oh no, have I seriously put on that much weight in two days? Must be all the cake.” He fake panicked whilst touching his stomach.

“Oh yeah, you’re unrecognisable.” You laughed as you laid your head on his chest whilst he brung the duvet over the two of you.

“Saints seems like I’ll have to work twice as hard to keep you in my arms love. Might as well lock you in now.” He said as his arms cages you in, then promptly attacking your side.

“Stop! Stop! I’m already here! I’m not going an-anywhere.” You cried out as you tried to wriggle out and away. He stopped and smiled proudly, “That easy huh? What do I have to do to get you out of your-”

“Jesper!”

He laughed again and you settled your arm on his chest and looked up at him as he looked down, “You take my breath away. Every time I look at you Y/n.”

You grinned, “Star struck are we?”

“Oh everyday.”

The two of you giggled and fought and kissed until the sun came up. You wouldn’t change anything about him, and he would.

Your last name perhaps?

#jesper x reader #jesper fahey x reader #shadow and bone x reader

[fanfic-corner]

Kanej Fic Recs

I've been thoroughly sucked back into the Grishaverse fandom after Shadow and Bone S2, so here's some Kanej fics for you to enjoy! But don't worry - none of these fics have spoilers for the show.

not like this by rebel_hearts (865)

Inej has been kissed before, but not like this. Not as if she's everything somebody could ever want - and not just because of her body, or her talents, but because it's her.

Drowning by witteefool (1.2k)

The shock of cold sent any stray thought from his mind, his body sinking as his wool coat grew sodden and heavy.

Then they were back. His demons grabbed at him from the depths, their bloated, grisly bodies pulling him downwards to the reaper. His escape had only been temporary. Jordie was ready to take him back now.

Tantalus Skin Hunger by PestilenceandSunshine (1.6k)

Why should they keep our Secrets? Keep us Safe? The Demon in his mind spoke.

Because they love us. They're our Friends, our Family. The Child answered again. They love us.

Dirtyhands did not speak again. 

Or: Kaz Brekker platonically pines and yearns, but Recovery takes time and is not a linear process

a laugh I could recognise anywhere by onthelasttrain (1.7k)

“Jesper Llewellyn Fahey, domesticated at last.” He freezes, his breath trapped in his lungs. All those months looking at maps, wondering where she is, and now he doesn't have to wonder. She travelled farther than any merchant or sailor ever did, and then she came back to the Barrel.

(Back to him, he thinks selfishly).

two solitudes by sixappleseeds (2k)

“I was going to say,” Kaz remarked. “That memory is a tricky bastard. It takes cheap shots when you’re not looking. Cuts you up when you least expect it.”

we wear red so they don't see us bleed by A_7187 (2.9k)

jesper fahey: this really hurts. after everything i’ve done for you

kaz brekker: which is nothing?

jesper fahey: I LITERALLY KILLED SOMEONE FOR YOU. ARE WE JUST FORGETTING ABOUT THAT NOW???

inej ghafa: im sorry?

Kidnapped by Youknowit (2.9k)

Inej's parents and some of her caravan are kidnapped by slavers. It's up to Inej and Kaz to fight the encampment and free those who were stolen.

a foreigner called candor by kallliope (2.9k)

A new strain of parem is tampered with to make a truth serum, which Kaz unknowingly consumes.

the end of a movie i've seen before by downn_in_flames (3.3k)

And then, standing before her, in a sober black wool coat, ink-dark hair tossed about by the wind, a small rolling bag at his side, is the very same person who’s taken up permanent residence in her dreams.

She’s not entirely convinced she’s not dreaming now - though if she is, this one’s an entirely new creation of her imagination, with not an ounce of intertwined past memory to be found. She entertains the thought of pinching herself just to be sure.

Six Fifteen by orphan_account (3.5k)

Every morning at six fifteen, gymnastics instructor Inej Ghafa sings in the shower. Her apartment neighbor Kaz hears her through the connecting wall, and one morning accidentally joins in.

love is not love which alters when it alteration finds by cameliawrites (3.8k)

“I do look forward to meeting this husband of yours one day, Captain,” the deputy drawls sardonically at her back.

Inej finds herself dangerously tempted by the notion. She caresses the blade of Sankt Petyr at her side as she takes her leave, the metal smooth and sharp as her lover’s dark gaze. The thought draws her homeward, and she quickens her steps, a single utterance underneath her breath:

“No, you don’t.”

By the Book by marycontraire (4.2k)

“You look like a pirate,” Kaz says.

“I am a pirate,” Inej reminds him as they emerge into the dark storage room. 

Kaz holds his bonelight aloft to illuminate the rows and rows of garments.  “Not this morning,” he says. “This morning you’re the bride of a respectable gentleman farmer."

home by northyard (5.5k)

When the assassin spoke, his voice was gravelly and strange. "Smart." He mused. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Dirtyhands. I've heard a lot about you." His hands drifted to the two knives strapped to his thighs. "And I'm sure it'll be a pleasure to kill you. Most of Ketterdam wants you dead, Brekker." He added, hands deft as he unsheathed his knives. Kaz didn't miss the bulge in the forearms of his sleeves (more knives) nor the two tipped daggers that emerged from the end of his boots.

Kaz lifted an eyebrow, waving his hand in a nonchalant manner. "Tell me something I don't know."

The assassin grinned. "You've underestimated me," he fired back, teeth bared like a wolf. "Any person who crosses me does not live to tell the tale."

Kaz shot back a wolfish grin of his own, tipping his hat to the assassin. "It's a good thing I'm not a person."

Can I Watch You? by aknosde (6.7k)

The older they get the more late nights working on his bed mean. And sometimes they let themselves become a little more vulnerable. And sometimes their friends are nosy and annoying.

farmer kaz by cafatonin (7k)

Kaz cleared his throat. “It reminds me of home.” Inej’s head popped up, her senses finely attuned to Kaz’s sharing voice. She looked to where he was lounging on the bale nearest the door, bad leg lazily draped over the side. He didn’t dare look back at her.

my pain shouldn't be yours by dregstrash (11k)

In a world where soulmates exist, what do you do when you feel the pain of someone else? Kaz Brekker and Inej Ghafa share that singular thread, and neither of them wants to acknowledge it. Kaz Brekker, the boy who never admits to weakness, and Inej Ghafa, the girl who has her own scars, must learn to navigate the dangerous streets of Ketterdam while trying to ignore the bond between them.

Dinner & Diatribes by Thesuncameout (12k)

There wasn’t supposed to be a storm.

Time spent creating this plan had taken up almost a month’s worth of days and nights. Neither of them had slept more than four bells, too caught up in perfecting the swindling. Even Jesper had lost a few nights helping them figure out the heist. They planned everything. The ins and outs, the what ifs and possible dooms, the plan A all the way to Z.

And yet, they hadn’t bothered to look above and see the rolling clouds and rumbling skies.

i wanna hold the hand inside you (i look to you to see the truth) by hyperspecificplaylists (12k)

It's 7:00 a.m. on the day before Valentine's Day when Kuwei's listicle comes out and promptly exposes everyone.

Wherein Nikolai sings love songs for the internet and pretends they're not for Zoya (except they totally are).

O Loving Hate by this_pendent_world (13k)

‘The Ravkan Roast’ is the top coffee shop on the doorstep of Ketterdam University - or at least, it was until ‘Tooth & Claw’ opened up right across the street.

While her friends insist that they are at war with the rival coffee shop, Nina Zenik believes that Matthias Helvar is too cute to be her sworn enemy.

If only they weren't on opposite sides of the brewing war, and the street.

Ace by KatyaMorrigan (15k)

Healing takes time and work, but Kaz and Inej have been putting in the hours. While once it seemed that they may always have to love each other at a distance, it now couldn't be further from the case. Although, Inej's thoughts have been wandering, and now she isn't sure what they are working towards. Even though the possibility that had once seemed so slim is now an option, is sex something she wants? Is it something Kaz wants?

And if the answer is no, what happens then?

A coming-out-to-herself fic in which Inej and Kaz explore intimacy and come to the conclusion that, for them, sex isn't a part of the equation.

all in good time by terribletruths (15k)

Inej needs a powerful man dead. Kaz, busy conducting 'renovations' across the West Stave and feuding with famous stage actors, is glad to have the opportunity to eliminate a threat.

False Hearts by QHQ (16k)

This was the weirdest fucking job Inej had ever taken.

Kaz and Inej go to marriage counseling. The only thing is, they’re not married. They don’t even know each other.

Killing Me To Love You by venus_in_retrograde (31k)

Inej comes down with a bizzare illness that has her weak and feverish and at the brink of death. As a result, she is forced to confront some truths about her heart she's spent the longest time avoiding.

Truths meaning her feelings about Kaz Brekker. Feelings which, knowing him, are most definitely unrequited, and will therefore only make her suffer more.

All in all, it's a pretty dire situation. Things are bound to get messy.

But her time is running out.

Dealing with Our Demons by ravenyenn19 (747k, in progress)

Inej's first letter back to Kaz after she leaves on her journey to hunt slavers, reunion ensues! Will they continue to learn how to battle their demons in order to get close to one another?

If you have any other Kanej fics that you recommend, please let me know! And in the meantime, thank you to all the fantastic authors who shared their work with us and happy reading :D

#grishaverse #kanej #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #shadow and bone #six of crows #lina lore #fic recs #ao3 #sab #long post

[at1nys-blog]

Freedom pt.2

Pt.1

Pairing: Crows x fem!reader

Summary: New life, new name, new family. This is what your life was going to be.

Masterlist

tag: @queenofshinigamis

Faking your death wasn't as easy nor painless as Kaz Brekker made it to seem, but you trusted him, and you just went along with the plan.

The plan was easy: they would drench you in water; put some make up on you and Nina would make your heart stop for enought time for the doctors to conclude you were dead and that nothing was to be done to bring you back and least but not last the Crows where to exhume you.

It took them longer than anticipated but at the end you were out and surrended by the Crows.

"Now the only think that I need is to become unrecognizable. A Tailor I need one." you were about to walk out the graveyard when Kaz stopped you.

"Where are you going like this? Here." he said trowing a hoodded cape at you. "follow me." you walked opposite to the Katterdam, Wylan started rambling about the pox and some other historical facts you, and maybe no one else, cared to know about. At least not in that moment.

Kaz made Jesper open up an entrance to some sort of chapel, you didn't care much, the only thing that matter was living your life feeling free and doing what you liked the most.

Sleep was not coming to you, but at least you weren't alone. The same went for Kaz. The man was in his little bubble thinking only the Saints knew what. You pondered if it was a good idea to strike a conversation with him. No, let the man alone, he is going through so much just for you, it was what your thoughts kept telling you.

"Can't sleep?" you nodded your head.

"I'm just not used to..." you looked at the ground. "sleeping on concrete. I never had to before." Kaz smiled, for just a brief second but you noticed. "Yes, yes I know what I told you, but just because I'm not used it doesn't mean I'm never going to get used to it."

"whatever makes you sleep at night, your highness" he joked, making you roll your eyes. "Jesper and Inej will miss you" he added, tone once again stoic as his usual. "I know is been just a month but they grew fond of you." a pause. "and so did I." he said not looking at you.

"Same goes for me, but we all knew today was coming. I can't stay in Katterdam any longer. If my father's..." he stopped you, asking you to not even think about it. You were dead now and he saw it, there was no reason for him to search for you.

"You can always say you are not her, if asked." you never thought Kaz Brekker would go an extra mile for someone he had meet just a month ago, but here he was, trying to figure out a way for you to stay.

"Kaz, I'm very sorry for everything that happened in this past month because of me, but you were my only hope to escape the hell that was home." you didn't mean to out your abusive father, but there you were. Telling him the secrets you were too scared to share with anyone, feeling finally free from all the horrors you had to endure for the simple facts that you were born a girl. "he is going to pay."

"Is not worth it. I think you saw him acting like a caring father, sad about his little girl that is now with the Saints." you kissed your thumb and bringing it to your forehead, eyes closed a pray wishpered in the dark. "he always hated the sight of me. I made him and myslef a favour, now I'm in debt with you Kaz Brekker, for saving me." another small smile adorned his features, this time it was on display much longer.

"Now try to sleep. You need it."

It was after a couple of days that Nina came back, followed by a girl. She was a Grisha, one that could help you escape Katterdam without drawing too much attention to you.

"A tailor. I found her at the market. Kaz I promised she is to be payed good for her services and her silence." Nina left the girl inside the little chapel and went back out.

"You are Pekka's daughter? I thought you were dead. The news is all over the walls of Katterdam." she said looking at you up and down. You gave her a little smile, hoping she wasn't to out you to the Stadwatch or your father directly. "Don't worry, I won't say a world to him" she said rolling up the sleeve of her shirt showing you a bunch of bruises all over her arm.

"Oh he likes to hit on ladies now? New hobby of his?" said Jesper noticing the condition of her arms, imagining the rest of her body was filled with purple and green signs. You apologized for your father's wrong doings but is not like he meant those words you spoke and you knew it. You and him were two completely different people.

The Grisha in front of you started to move her hands like if they were dancing with each other, rays of color moved in the air between the two of you, sparks adding a sense of magic and mystic to the experience. You started to feel your flesh morphing under her spell and you imagined your face changing shape onto her magic. Some seconds were needded before Jesper handed you a tiny mirror and you noticed how different you looked now.

"is temporary rember this. I suggest you to leave now, and for my payment... Just for the service, I would not out you." she said and turned to Kaz, hands in a cup form waiting to receive her kruge. The man rolled his eyes but payed her non the less.

The port was calm and not as busy as in the morning. The fishermen were getting ready to leave in the early morning, but Kaz did not stop there. He walked until he stopped infront of a boat of a privateer. At its front two people, siblings you noticed.

"Where is Sturmhond?"

"Inside." said the woman and she walked in, you thought to call whoever that Sturmhond was.

"Is she the girl Nina talked us about?" was the man turn to speak. Kaz nodded. "Great. We are leaving anytime soon so say goodbye to your friend and on we go." he added, he too walking back on the boat.

"Take care of yourself." was the only think Kaz said to you

"I'll pray the Saints to keep you safe at all times and remeber, no mourners..."

"No funerals" you ended the phrase with her. "Take care of Kaz for me too, and tell him before is too late, promise me Inej you would tell him" you said.

"Oh come on now, is my turn to say bye" said joyfully Jesper hugging you and spooning you around. You giggled and when your feet touched land you asked Jesper to keep being like this, no matter what.

"One more think Jesper, do not hide your true self. Not anymore." he gave you a shy smile and then moved closer to Inej. You thanked Nina for the big help and wished for her to be reunited with her man, then it was time to say goodbye to Wylan.

"You left me for last" he joked.

"The best is always left for last. Take care of yourself and keep Jesper in his place from time to time" you hugged him as strong as you were able to. Before you could add something Kaz was talking to someone behinde you.

"keep her safe, if something has to happen to her you know I'll find out Sturmhond."

"Geez man, I haven't even spoke a world and you attack me like this. Do not fear I'll protect her, well actually Tolyan and Tamar will."

"WHEN DID I AGREE ON THAT?" he said surprised to hear his captain's words. His reaction made you laugh a little getting the man's attention. "why are you laughing uh?" You turned to Kaz and the rest of your new friends, that you were already leaving behind.

"I will write to you as much as possible so keep an eye to the mails. Now go, you guys need some good rest." to this Sturmhond accompanied on his boat and you gave a last wave before sailing to Saints knew where.

"Inej, would you pray the Saints to protect her for me too?" the Wraith didn't say a world, just prayed for him too with a little smile. Maybe she had a change at the end, maybe she had to wait for him to break out his shell but a change whatsover.

#shadow and bone #shadow and bone imagine #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker x y/n #inej ghafa #inej ghafa x reader #inej ghafa x you #inej ghafa x y/n #jesper fahey #jesper fahey x reader #jesper fahey x you #jesper fahey x y/n #malyen oretsev #the crows club imagines #the crows x reader #nina zenik x reader #nina zerik x you #nina zerik x y/n #nina zerik x yn #nina zerik imagines #shadow and bone season 2

[sixofcrowdaydreams]

Crow Names Written in Kerch

Here are all of the Crow's names written in a Kerch alphabet. Just for fun. (And the vowel discrepancy and subsequent meltdown I had trying to write Wylan's names.)

So some things of note while creating this...

I am not an artist and drawing fictional letters is hard.

Your eye/my lighting and camera are not bad, the paper is a soft purple color left over from Valentine's Day.

More importantly:

When in doubt about spelling, I stuck to the English direct letter translation for the spelling.

For example: Inej's last name Ghafa, starts with a G so I wasn't sure whether to use the regular G or the GH character, which in words like laugh, does not use a hard G and sounds more like an F. I used the GH.

While the Kerch alphabet uses a J/Y (ja/ya) the Y at the end of Jesper's last name is written as a vowel, EE.

I actually didn't see the second chart that went into more detail about the vowels connecting to the consonants until after I wrote the names. Therefore, I didn't see the difference between the soft A (example: apple) and hard A (example: can). Technically, that means soft A character in Kaz, Nina, and Matthias' should be longer.

Aaaaand now I realize I messed up Nina's name too. Instead of a soft I, the EE vowel should have been used.

Unpictured, I also wrote out Six of Crows. There is no letter X in Kerch, unless I read the charts wrong. So in Kerch there is only the Si-- of Crows. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Wylan (his names deserves their own list of bullet points) and Matthias:

There is no hard I (as in ice) sound in Kerch, according to the the two character/letter charts I saw (linked above). HAVE WE BEEN PRONOUNCING WYLAN'S NAME WRONG THIS WHOLE TIME?!

Seriously, did I not read the charts correctly?

So in the first photo (left) I wrote his Wylan's name using the soft I just in case the vowel, like English could be used as hard or soft depending on the word. But, given that the other vowels in Kerch, like hard A, E, and O are written differently than soft A, E, and O, I don't think this is likely.

The spelling with the soft I (example: igloo) would pronounce his name as Will-lan

I also wrote Wylan's name using the hard E (which makes his name pronounced Wee-lan) in the 2nd photo (right). Personally, I'm inclined to believe it would be written this way, but there's literally no precedent, the points are made up and the rules don't matter!

The lack of hard I vowel would effect Matthias too, but I didn't realize that until after his name was written. (Matt-- i-as or Matt-ee-as: he probably hates Kerch as a language for this reason, let's be real)

Mildly related, but I feel Wylan and Matthias's pain. I moved across the world and now live within a language and alphabet that does not recognize a letter in my name. The consonant just doesn't exist. So the sound and letter use similar sounding substitutes.

The English spelling of Eck uses the letters C and K, but I wasn't sure if Kerch would combine the letters into one sound. Therefore I wrote both for funsies. Not sure which I aesthetically prefer.

The same C and K issue came up writing Hendricks too. So I wrote an example of of the English directly translated spelling and the combined K sound too just to see what they would look like.

Thanks for letting me nerd out about the Kerch language used in Shadow and Bone. It was super fun!

#six of crows #shadow and bone #save shadow and bone #meta #wylan van eck

[restinslices]

Crows As Vampires

Idk why I chose that gif-. Anyway I have had no inspiration or motivation to do anything. The mental illness is hitting. I am on my knees begging y’all to let me have this😭. No one’s born a vampire cause I don’t think vampires should be able to reproduce and in this universe how you’re changed determines what kind of vampire you are. I’ll explain later.

Kaz Brekker 

Kaz has screwed over plenty of people in his life. That's how life is as a criminal and he was damn good at it. Almost an expert. 

Almost being the keyword 

Kaz screwed over the wrong person. Unbeknownst to him, this person was actually a witch. The witch cursed him to have these symptoms we would call “vampirism”

Immortality so he would watch everyone he loves die. A lust for blood since he was a leech that led others like a lamb to a slaughter. Burning in the sun so he could stay a rat in the shadows. Ect. Ect. 

This would've been terrible for anyone else, but this is Kaz Brekker we're talking about. 

Also this isn't how nature works. Things can't be only good or only bad so nature gave him a few perks. 

All it took was some practicing and getting used to then boom, he was living his best life. 

He doesn't need the cane anymore, but he keeps it to trick others. 

Genuinely thinks the witch that cursed him is the dumbest person ever because all the weaknesses he can get around. The sun? He doesn't go outside much and can have others do shit for him. Holy water? Does this man look like he goes to church? A wooden stake? What are the chances? Garlic? He prefers onion powder-

He's a traditional vampire so blood tastes good no matter what. I don't know if he'd go hunting himself though. He'd probably have another Crow bring him something, like bringing the homie Wendy's if you just got some. 

Best part of vampirism is probably the animal control. It's the perfect distraction and this man is nuts so he'd probably have a rat jump on somebody with a phobia. 

I'd say hypnosis but I feel like Kaz enjoys the thrill he gets from outsmarting everyone. Hypnosis would be so boring to him. It'd only be used if he absolutely needed to. 

I think the part of vampirism he'd struggle with the most would be the feeding though. Not out of guilt but too many dead bodies make people raise a brow and that would affect business. 

Kaz would prefer feeding on people who don't really have anyone. I know you're thinking “duh! That's so obvious! Who wouldn't?”. Jesper. More on him later though. 

Kaz wants to go after opponents but knows that'll stir too much shit up. 

I wanna say he refuses to feed on kids ‘cause it'd remind him of him and Jordie but this is the same man who threatened a little girl and said he'd kill all her dogs just to make sure she wouldn't snitch. And when Wylan was like “that's not ok” he was like “I could've killed her and made it look like an accident”, so idk. Man is deranged. 

Kaz has red eyes because… uhhh… I want him to. 

I think vampires should have another face when they feed and his gotta be the scariest. This is The Bastard of The Barrel we're talking about here. You gotta feel fear in your veins. 

Overall, he's enjoying vampirism. Big mistake giving this man powers. 

Inej Ghafa

Inej would get turned when she's at the Menagerie 

One of the regulars came in but he was off. He was way more jumpy and sensitive to things. Inej knocked something over and instead of annoyance, he seemed to be in pain. Like his ears hurt. 

She didn't say anything though. Tante Heleen would kill her. 

Suddenly the man attacked her and bit her. She screamed but he covered her mouth with his hand. Inej did the only thing she could think of and bit his hand hard, drawing blood. The man was in pain and after a short fight, he snapped her neck and killed her. 

Weirdly though, Inej woke up after some time. It made no sense to anyone. Not to the other girls, Tante Heleen, the doctor, anyone. Inej should've been dead. Instead all she did was crack her neck and describe the guy who did it. 

The next day Kaz Brekker came and she introduced herself. The day after that, she no longer worked for Tante Heleen. 

Turns out the vampire who attacked her was a newborn. He had some of the vampire strengths, like advanced speed and strength but he also still had human qualities. Like human skin, instead of the impenetrable skin older vampires have. Kaz was hunting him down because his uncontrolled killings were causing a ruckus, that's when he met Inej and noticed something was off about her. She smelt like death.  

Inej turned instead of dying because when she bit him, it drew blood and she ended up swallowing it. Drinking a vampire's blood then dying was another way to be turned. 

Because she was terrified when it all happened, as a vampire blood tastes better if it's from someone scared. The more scared they are, the better. If she drinks normal blood, it tastes fine but it doesn't make her as strong or taste as good as blood from someone frightened. 

Inej doesn't really like going out of her way to scare the shit outta someone. Don't get me wrong, Inej ain't no punk but she sees it as “I'm scaring people for my own benefit? No thanks”. 

During her newborn stage, Inej was not fucking with it at all. There were benefits but she hated the idea of murder. The only reason she started drinking is because she was starving and Kaz threw a random person in the room. When she snapped out of it, she was horrified and she was angry because Kaz knew what he was doing. 

So she attempted to run away but the problem was the hunger obviously didn't stop. One day she saw a man she knew frequented the Menagerie. A man who was extremely abusive and had cut and injured the girls plenty of times. Again, she got angry. So angry she stalked and killed him. 

A lightbulb went off. She didn't wanna scare innocent people but abusers? They weren't innocent. So that's who she targeted. Oh and obviously she returned to the Crow Club. 

Only problem with abusers is unfortunately they have money and people looking at them so she can't go after a lot of them which leaves her back to drinking regular human blood. Sometimes she drinks from animals or steals blood bags. 

Best part of vampirism is how nimble she is. Sure she was a great acrobat before but her speed and agility change is the best to her. She could do so much more without worrying about forever losing her legs in a stupid accident. 

She's called a spider for a reason. 

I don't even think she'd care for the other powers. Yeah they're there and she'll use them but she's not too concerned. 

Worst part I think is the feeding but not for the same reasons as Kaz. Inej has a guilty conscience and she's also religious. I think the fact that she has to take innocent lives (when she can't get to bad people) would make her feel cursed. Like the Saints were against her or didn't hear her prayers anymore. How could she claim her heart belonged to them when her heart didn't even beat anymore? She was sinning often. It's not like killing on a job, that's when your back's against the wall. She's literally killing for her own selfish needs. 

It'd take her a while to come to terms that she's killing for survival and she never asked to become a vampire in the first place. 

Once she comes to terms with that I honestly don't see her using her powers for straight nonsense. She uses them to get jobs done and feeds when she has to. She's probably the one bringing Kaz take out when he's too lazy. 

Idk why but I feel like she'd have purple eyes. I don't have a reason. Just roll with me. 

Overall, she'd have conflicting feelings. The first couple years would be rough but she'd learn to embrace it. 

Jesper Fahey

Jesper is my favorite Crow and my favorite in the entire show but my poor babe is not all the way there sometimes. He's not dumb by any means but ya know, sometimes he's in a silly goofy mood. 

Jesper was turned when he was in college. Keep in mind, my boy was only there for what? A WEEK?

He lost at a game of cards and instead of beating him they were like “there's this book that a dead witch supposedly wrote. There's a ritual and everything, you gotta do it or pay me”. 

Jesper was like “bet, I ain't no hoe” (probably not with those words) and did the stupid ritual which consisted of blood, rain water and some chanting and nothing happened, much to the disappointment of his college pals and him. The ritual was supposed to give him powers or something. Too bad. 

Something weird started happening. Jesper was a funny guy and liked socializing but he swore he started feeling more energy course through him when he made everyone laugh. And when he walked outside, the sun burned. It left a mark and everything. 

He started skipping classes to avoid the sun and the kids he knew were too busy to constantly visit him. Since he was alone for a couple days, he felt incredibly hungry. 

One late night he was walking to get food when a lady fell hard. Jesper, being nice, ran over to help. That's when he noticed the smell of blood and it smelt amazing. Long story short, he ended up attacking her. When he realized what happened, he took a closer look at that book. He realized they didn't inform him about the negative side effects. And sure, he somewhat got it. What were the chances of it working? But since they made him do that instead of paying up, they knew there could've been a possibility of everything going left. 

He had no idea what was happening and ended up leaving college. Not only was he out of money (that's why he was so glad he wouldn't have to pay) but he worried about who else he would attack. He ended up working for gangs and as we know, Kaz found him. 

They ended up finding out that Jesper was special. Jesper was always the main focus in a crowd so when he became a vampire, that ability turned him into an emotional vampire. He didn't have to hunt people down and feed the old fashioned way. He could feed on people by absorbing their emotions when they felt a strong emotion, such as happiness. It made him feel amazing but it made them feel drained and depending on how much he took, they could faint. 

Now he could always just bite people but absorbing emotions is bigger. 

Best part of vampirism is hypnosis. If he's well fed and feeling strong, he can just hypnotize his gambling opponent into letting him win. 

Worst part is probably the sunlight. Jesper likes nighttime, don't get me wrong, but the fact that he's limited to only moving around at night is nuts to him. Since he shouldn't be doing it, he wants to do it more.

Jesper has to be reeled in by Kaz when it comes to feeding cause Jesper honestly will go after anyone. The more challenging, the more fun. He has to constantly be reminded that the more challenging, the more chance of being caught.  

He also reminds him that he doesn't have to bite people to feed but Jesper sometimes just likes the rush. 

Probably makes a bunch of vampire puns and Kaz is tired of his shit. 

He'd be even more on edge when it comes to his dad. It'd be even more of a reason to never see him again. He would only think about it when he 100% had his hunger under control. 

Idk what eye color he'd have tbh

Overall likes being a vampire but the side effects are there. 

Nina Zenik

After Nina took Parem, things didn't look good. It was obvious to everyone that Nina was dying. 

Nina was in the know when it came to vampires. She honestly didn't care and didn't have any interest at first. But as she sat there slowly dying, she wondered what life would've been like if she asked to be bit. 

The Saints seem to be listening because Inej walked in and said she wanted to help her. Nina knew how she'd help. 

Inej was getting closer and Nina couldn't help but feel nervous. Suddenly though, she saw Matthias. Inej simply made her think she was Matthias, but Nina was so delirious that she actually thought it was him. She thought of their life together so far and what they could have in the future. Her thoughts started to slip towards something more lustful and that's when “Matthias” shoved “his” bloodied arm at her. She drank it then her neck was quickly broken. 

She awoke soon after, beginning her new life. 

Nina is a sexual vampire, meaning blood tastes the best when it's someone experiencing feelings of lust or orgasming. 

Matthias experiences lust for Nina and has said she can drink from him but she doesn't trust herself. She's worried she got him out of Hellgate only to kill him later on. 

Instead she flirts with unsuspecting men and women. No sex obviously and they don't taste as good as they could but just that little bit of lust adds something to their blood. 

Best part of vampirism would be immortality. She's living forever with her family and doesn't have to worry about getting sick or dying again. 

Immortality is also the worst part. Matthias has always said he has no interest in being a vampire and the thought of him dying makes her think she should've let herself die on the boat (until she changes him against his will but moving on-)

Probably targets men and women with low level jobs. Like the people who guard doors of some building, rich people go to. Or fishermen. People whose disappearance can just be chalked up to them being irresponsible. 

Being a vampire is kinda in the middle for her. Not great but not terrible. Sometimes she wants to go outside during the day and can't. Sometimes she wants to eat something like garlic bread and can't. Sometimes she wants to wear silver jewelry and can't. It can be a real pain. 

When Matthias is human she treats him like he's delicate, because compared to her, he is. They arm wrestle and he's down for the count. 

The stereotype is that vampires sleep in a coffin but with how big Matthias is? Yeah, no. They'll just sleep in a dark room. 

Nina doesn't exactly want kids, but with Matthias she wouldn't mind them. Now they can't have them at all though and that choice being taken away isn't fun. Honestly any choice now taken away rubs her the wrong way. 

I feel like her eyes would also be red like Kaz. 

Overall is half and half about vampirism. 

Matthias Helvar 

As we all know, Matthias ends up dying in Crooked Kingdom. He didn't want it to happen, but he accepted it. He knew this would be the end. 

Imagine his surprise when he woke up months later. 

Turns out Nina wanted to turn Matthias into a vampire but acted too late. She ended up finding a witch who was willing to do a ritual to return his spirit to his body. Side effects would be symptoms of vampirism. 

As you can imagine, Matthias was very unhappy. Nina didn't have the excuse of “oh I panicked”. No. She found a witch and instead of asking for her future to be told, she whipped out his corpse. 

As a vampire Matthias is a soul vampire. When he feeds it decreases the lifespan of his victim, sometimes even killing them. As he gets older he learns he doesn't even have to bite his victims, but he does have to be close to them. 

It'd probably take years before he forgave Nina. Matthias, like Inej, is religious and thinks Djel can't hear him anymore because of what's happened. 

For awhile he can't see a positive to this situation. When he comes around to it and starts accepting it though, I think he'd enjoy that he's strong enough to continuously help people. 

Negative is everything for a while. Especially the fact he can't be near any holy items. Also immortality. Human lives are supposed to end, now his can't end without it being extremely painful. 

Feeding wouldn't be easy for him either. Not biting them allows him to disconnect but he still knows what he's doing and that's hard for him.

He eventually would forgive Nina but would never forget what happened. 

His eyes would remain blue but it'd be a lighter and more glowy (?) blue

Doesn't wanna participate in any vampire stereotypes. No coffin, no dark colors, none of that. 

His feeding is the most discrete. Jesper's could be too but we know him. Matthias just kind of hangs around and feeds until he's full enough. 

Matthias also drinks the souls of animals. It doesn't feed him as quickly or make him as strong but he was already a big and strong guy. 

Overall is not having a good time. I think it would take years for him to accept his new life. After that, he's not exactly happy. He's just accepted it is what it is. 

Wylan Van Eck

Wylan had a terrible relationship with his father, we know that. What everyone didn't know was that the family was holding a huge secret; Jan Van Eck was a vampire. He was turned after Alys became pregnant and thought things were great. Now he could be an asshole forever 

Van Eck noticed how much better he felt so he thought if he bit Wylan, he'd be cursed of his dyslexia and could read. 

He was wrong. Dyslexia isn't a physical injury so nothing happened. This made him angry and ended up leading him to hire people to kill Wylan on the boat to Ketterdam. As we know, Wylan escaped. Van Eck was sure he'd die because of lack of food or be exposed and killed. Either was good to him. 

Wylan didn't die though. Wylan had only been a vampire for a month so his control over his thirst was terrible. He didn't wanna hurt people so he tried to stay away and hunt animals. 

Not hurting people was easier said than done though. Ketterdam is full of people and jobs require you being around people. As you can imagine, there were a few slip ups. 

Kaz recruited him not only to make bombs but also because Inej caught him feeding on someone. He just didn't notice she was there. 

Once Wylan has his thirst under control, he prefers blood bags instead of actually hunting and hurting people. 

He isn't sure what his favorite part of vampirism is since the things he loves doing (chemistry and music) don't require any vampire things. He likes telepathy once he knows how to block his own thoughts from people. It's efficient being able to “whisper” to other people and Wylan is a bit nosey. When you're gonna live forever, you're gonna wanna hear drama. 

I think his least favorite part wouldn't be a specific part of vampirism. He'd just hate how he used to be. Whenever he thinks about how little control he had, it'd scare him. It shows how much of a monster he can be and he doesn't want that. 

I wanna give everyone red eyes but I'll say his are orange or yellow. Why? Idk. 

The type of vampire that legit forgets he's a vampire. Inej is like “want me to bring you back something to eat?” and he's like “oh sure. I heard this new spot just opened-”. 

Probably was gonna walk outside for a casual walk and another Crow had to grab him by the collar and pull him inside. 

“What's wrong?” “Wylan. The sun.” “What about it?.... oh”

This isn't me saying he's dumb, he just genuinely forgets. His mind is on other stuff all the time. 

Vampires become his hyper fixation and he starts saying random ass myths about vampires at all hours 

“Did you know people used to believe that you could trick a vampire by throwing things like rice at it? Supposedly it'd be compelled to count them all” “It’s 2am Wylan. Enough is enough”

Overall I don't think he has a strong opinion on being a vampire. Having his little family makes enjoying this new life easier. 

idk why this in particular finally gave me inspiration, but FINALLY my mind isn’t completely blank.

#six of crows #shadow and bone #Six of crows au #six of crows imagine #six of crows headcanons #shadow and bone headcanons #vampire au #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #nina zenik #matthias helvar #wylan van eck #kaz brekker headcanon #Inej ghafa headcanon #Jesper Fahey headcanon #Nina zenik headcanon #Matthias helvar headcanon #Wylan Van Eck headcanon #crooked kingdom

[wesperbrekkered]

"Do I have a crush?" "You have whatever is after a crush." For Wesper Please

Maybe Inej or Nina says this to Jesper or to Wylan? Even Kaz possibly.

This is a lil snippet from Counting Down The Years, a wesper oneshot that is estimated to be finish between 10k and 15k words. Thank you sm for the ask!

_________________________________________

Jesper didn’t speak much on the journey home, choosing to look out the window of Matthias’ battered old truck instead. Matthias didn’t push, he just put on his Fjerdan folk songs on a low, manageable volume and hummed along to them.

He liked Wylan.

The realisation floored him, and he wasn’t entirely sure why.

It felt natural, because Wylan was always drawing Jesper in, always capturing his attention in the way that nothing, nothing ever could. It felt like the only sane way somebody would feel about him, because how could you not take a look at the magical creature that was Wylan Van Eck and want to give him fucking everything.

Wylan had always just been his best friend, but he supposed he never thought of an excuse to kiss his other friends every year.

He both thanked and rejected Matthias’ offer to stay with him, telling him to go back and enjoy himself and that ‘I can look after myself just fine, thank you very much.’ He shot Jesper a look at those words, but he finally left after giving Jesper a cartoon of leftover food that he’d smuggled with him.

Jesper could have cried.

He didn’t cry. Instead he placed the carton onto his nightstand and sat down on his bed heavily. His shirt was still wet, but he made no move to take it off.

Instead—

“Jesper?”

The voice over the phone was crackly and tired, and Jesper realised he probably should have remembered that timezones exist.

“Hey Da,” he whispered, feeling every string that was holding him together start to fray and snap.

“Jes?” there was more rustling, his father’s voice sounding more worried then sleep riddled now, “you alright?”

“I’m uh—” he hesitated, sucking in a breath, “I’m fine. I think.”

“Jes—”

“—Please.” His eyes burned like someone was poking them with red hot needles, his hand trembling where it clutched his phone to his ear, “please. I just—I just want to talk to you. I miss you.”

He could tell his father didn’t believe him, but Jesper didn’t feel ready to admit just yet what he’d saw, what he’d realised. He’d have to tell Nina tomorrow, he’d accepted that, but for right fucking now he wanted to forget.

Because if he didn’t forget he’d only end up crying, and Jesper felt too old to be crying over a boy.

He didn’t tell his Da about Wylan. He didn’t tell him that he’d only just realised that he liked his best friend. He didn’t tell him that he was struggling, that his course made him feel like he was drowning already, only three months in. He didn’t tell him that he already regretted ever coming here.

Instead, he lay back, shirt still wet, Matthias’ food sat unopened on the nightstand, eyes closed as he listened to his father talk about his week and what it was like being back on the farm and his Ma’s cherry tree.

“Jesper?” his father said suddenly, disrupting him from his sad thoughts.

“Yeah?” Jesper managed, forcing his voice not to crack.

“I love you, you know that right?”

Jesper inhaled suddenly, squeezing his eyes shut as tears seeped down his cheeks. “Yeah,” he tried, he tried, “Yeah I know. I love you too Da.”

When Kaz came back in the early hours of the morning, he wacked Jesper in the shin with the bottom of his cane, telling him to get dressed and eat something or ‘I swear to fucking Ghezen Jesper—’

Neither of them addressed his tear streaked face, or the way his voice was raspy and eyes red rimmed. He just ate his hutspot and let Kaz steal a few mouthfuls.

Later that night—morning—just as the clock turned to 5am, Jesper’s phone buzzed and he pulled it out on instinct, stomach turning to lead when he saw who it was from.

Wyvil

You OK? Nina said you had to leave early.

Jesper sucked in a breath. He could ignore. It was fucking 5am, Wylan wasn’t going to blame him for being asleep.

Jessie

im fine

someone spilled their drink on me and i nearly got sick

Jesper could never ignore Wylan, not really.

Wyvil

Well shit.

Want me to come over tomorrow with some stroopwafels?

And if any one word was likely to make Jesper cry, stroopwafel was the word.

Jessie

nah dw

i think nina has already claimed the nurse keeping position

Wyvil

Well if you need anything else, let me know!

Jesper promptly shoved his face into his pillow and he and Kaz both pretended he wasn’t crying.

You Wylan, I just need you.

“Alright. Spill.”

Jesper sighed.

The next morning—well, lunchtime—saw Nina sat in Jesper and Kaz’s shared dorm room, two steaming bowls of ramen balancing on his bed and Kaz grumbling about how he didn’t get any ramen.

‘If you want ramen you can get your own, Brekker,’ Nina had said, before turning her sharp, expectant gaze on Jesper.

“I may have... seen something,” he muttered, grabbing his bowl and cursing when it burnt his hands.

“I guessed that,” Nina huffed, “what did you see? Did you see what I think you saw?”

Jesper narrowed his eyes, “what do you think I saw?” He wasn’t appreciating this interrogation, thank you very much Nina.

Before he had a chance to answer, Kaz cut in, sounding bored, “he saw Wylan making out with that drummer.”

“How the fuck do you know that?” Jesper cried, nearly dropping his bowl of ramen at the exact same time Nina exclaimed, “I fucking knew they were making eyes at each other!”

Kaz blinked at both of them, flicking through his business book because only Kaz fucking Brekker would be studying on New Years Day.

Jesper groaned, abandoning his bowl in favour of burying his face in his hands. “Do I have a crush?” he whined, almost pitifully except he was moping too much to really care. Maybe he was a moper.

“You have whatever is after a crush,” Kaz said flatly, not even looking up.

“Alright Brekker, shut up or I’m kicking you out,” Nina snapped, turning back to Jesper. “Do you think you have a crush?”

Peeking at her from between his fingers, Jesper shrugged, “I mean, maybe? I think so. I don’t know. Ninaa.”

Nina huffed lightly, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips, “congrats Jes, you’re officially the last to know. Now eat your ramen.”

“Yes mom,” Jesper grumbled, but he felt eternally grateful for her anyway.

His phone buzzed from where it sat on the nightstand. Nina turned it off before he could even check who sent it.

Perhaps it was for the best.

#jesper fahey #wesper fanfic #send anons #wesper #six of crows #writing prompts #jesper x wylan #wylan x jesper #six of crows jesper #wesper fanfiction #wylan van eck #wylan van eck fanfiction #jesper fahey fanfiction #fic wip

[witchthewriter]

𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐆𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐚 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈𝐧𝐞𝐣 𝐆𝐡𝐚𝐟𝐚'𝐬 𝐬/𝐨 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

⤷ gender neutral, ambiguous race, and any size reader. Requests are open, thank you for reading!  

a/n: I love Inej so much oh my gosh, so this was a tad self-indulgent...

ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ      

SFW🌿

⭑ Inej has a lot of walls; she doesn’t like to show herself, nor her feelings. So your 5 interactions were just her ... being silent

⭑ And you knew she was aware of everyone in the room. Everything they did, their movements, their voices - hell even their breathing. 

⭑ From your own hypervigilance, you could see more than others. You noticed more. And Inej held your attention like no other

⭑ She was beautiful; well with what you could tell. Having seen parts of her face. Even the way she held herself was like no other. 

⭑ She noticed you too. But her attention was on your intentions; what did you want, why were you here and what did you intend on doing?

⭑ You were the one that first started a conversation ... well tried to. And you pursued Inej. Only because you wanted to better your life. To higher your station. You came from a lowly neighborhoodd, your family had died in an illness and you wanted to find a home. A safe one, with safe people and a steady income. 

⭑ It wasn’t until Helen had scouted you for the Menagerie, that Inej stepped in. She was quite cross with yo, until she learned of your reasoning. 

   “I have nowhere else to go!” You shouted, tears slipping from your eyes. 

“I- I know a place.” 

⭑ She took you to Kaz, and he gave you a barkeep job. And you weren’t that good at first (who is?) But over time you learned. Jesper seemed to take a liking to you. You had big emotions and were still learning how to understand them. Sometimes when you got too emotional ... things would happen. Unexplainable things. 

⭑ You stayed in one of the rooms above the club. Never making much noise, always being polite and never being late for work. 

⭑ You felt safe. Even if you were in a gang. Surrounded by criminals. You didn’t care - you had people. 

⭑ The relationship with Inej was grounded in friendship, trust and loyalty. She was your stable person; your rock. And you were someone new - a face that she was yet to open up to. But in time, she did. 

⭑ Kaz was distant and most of the time you thought he hated you. But Jesper said “he’s like that with everyone - and if he didn’t want you here ... well you wouldn’t be here.”

⭑ One day you were slumped at the bar, rag over your shoulder as you stared at your feet. The club had closed and no tenant was insight. But you felt like a burden, on everyone. Your thoughts were heavy and showed on your face. 

⭑ Inej noticed like she does with most things. And sat gracefully on the stool. 

     “I don’t think I’ve seen anyone this sad since Jesper lost his goat.” 

“Jesper lost a goat?” Your eyes found hers and a smile was already growing on your face. 

⭑ Inej liked your smile. And she liked being the reason for it. 

⭑ Her feelings slowly grew, but yours were already there. You loved being in her company. Her thoughts were so different from everyone around her. 

⭑ One night when the moon was full and high in the sky, you had kissed Inej. 

⭑ She didn’t speak to you for two days. But when she saw you, her lips found your own. 

⭑ As a significant other Inej is thoughtful and kind. She has a lot of love to give. 

⭑ She loves having a person. A safe person; someone she can go to for anything. 

⭑ You love giving her gifts, although she tells you not to spend your money on her. 

⭑ You two would share a room; and Inej doesn’t own many things but does love to create. She’s great at drawing and her desk is covered in sketches

⭑ You covered the walls with trinkets and maps. Showing Inej how big the world is. On tough days it helped you to know that there were millions of people out there. All living their lives.

⭑  You never touch her daggers; not because you’re afraid of what she would do. Absolutely not. But because you know how special they are to her. You’d only handle them with respect. 

⭑ She loves cuddling; although Inej isn’t big into PDA - she loves being close to you when you’re alone. 

⭑ You tell each other everything about yourselves; even if you can’t remember things, you’ll quietly whisper them as you walk past each other in the club, or out on the streets. 

⭑ You leave her favourite flower on her pillow, hidden in her boots, next to her daggers. You try to make her life more exciting in that way

⭑ Inej sees you as her hope. Her light in the darkness of Ketterdam. 

⭑ Jesper would tease the two of you, and he would be met with a firm slap on the arm.  

⭑ You hate Helen and do everything to stop yourself from killing her 

#shadow and bone #six of crows #inej ghafa headcanons #inej ghafa x reader #inej ghafa x you #headcanons #shadow and bone headcanons #six of crows headcanons #grishaverse #grishaverse headcanons #grisha #inej ghafa x grisha reader #alina starkov #mal oretsev #the female gaze #witchthewriter #kaz brekker #the crow club #jesper lahey