#and when i say i SCREAM every time | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

paellegere · 3 months

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i can't stop thinking about the first episode of season 6, when sam tries to convince dean to come with him, to come back to hunting. he says "it's just better with you around, that's all." it's an interesting line because sam is soulless, obviously. and even though he doesn't understand the details yet, he knows something's wrong with him.

"it's better with you around" he says, citing dean's compassion and care for others as the reason why. and how interesting is that? sam's working with plenty of other hunters who still have their souls—they're all more than capable of caring about the people they save. but sam needs dean specifically. he knows he's missing something, and he sees dean and recognizes that something in him. even cold and calculating and unrelentingly logical, sam recognizes that dean, alone, can "complete" him, give something back to him that he's supposed to have.

in episode 8 he tells dean he "needs his help." he doesn't elaborate; he never explains what he means by that. he has a whole family of hunters who'd be willing and able to help him, but still he needs dean. even without his soul, his hyperrational mind knows he needs him.

soulless sam isn't capable of caring about dean. but he doesn't need to care to know they need to be together, no matter what—to know dean is good for him, dean completes him, dean needs to be there for him.

it's like a sick reversal of season 1. sam drags dean back into this life because he can't keep going without him. because he needs him. because when you think about it logically, and sam has no other choice, there was never any other option for them.

#supernatural #wincest #i mean i'm absolutely looking at this through wincest-colored lenses but this isn't even a romantic observation #and i think that makes it so much worse #every time soulless sam gives an indication that he needs dean in his life even when he's incapable of caring about him. that's so fucked u #like what the fuck do you mean sam's dependence on dean isn't even irrational. that it's so normal to him that it's completely logical #to need him. that sam needs dean the way humans need air to breathe: an unalterable fact of nature and reality #'there are also things about it i remember that i... let's just say i think i should probably go back to being him'#What The Fuck Do You Mean By That Sammy #having a soul hurts but he should 'probably' go back to having one #he says in a conversation about how he knows he should care about dean but doesn't #like there's something inside him screaming for dean. and it's trapped and trying to claw its way out #he needs to care about dean no matter what the cost is. he needs to love him again #it's unnatural and wrong for him to exist without loving his brother. is that what you're saying. is that it #i just can't stop thinking about soulless sam. sorry. what's wrong with him seriously #besides not having a soul #.txt #sam #the winchester gospel

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softquietsteadylove · 2 months

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there can't be enough thenamesh reunion fics!

may i ask for more?

Gilgamesh yanked the Warrior back by the shoulder. She tried to regain her balance but he slammed his fist against her head, creating a gust strong enough to rattle the ship windows. She went down softly.

"Oi!" The Mind Reader was quick to respond to his fallen comrade. They all had a sense of togetherness that Gilgamesh admitted he found absent within his own team (himself, the Soaring Eternal and their Prime).

Ikaris took advantage of the team's sense of protectiveness. He grasped the Speedster's armour collar with his hand, using her as a shield against the puppeteer. He fired his eyes into the dark haired one's armour, sending him through the wall. Then, the Speedster was nothing but a burden.

Gilgamesh winced as she was thrown headfirst to the ground. Ikaris wasn't stronger than him - he knew that for a fact - but he certainly acted more brutally.

"Come on," he muttered in his accent, dragging the body of the Speedster behind him as he floated over to retrieve the Mind Reader as well.

Gilgamesh stared down at the Warrior Eternal. Her body was also limp, but he could feel the Cosmic Energy thrumming within her veins. He could practically feel the rhythm of her heart, if he let himself imagine it. He didn't know what made them so different, according to Arishem.

"You want a hand with 'er or what?" Ikaris snarled at him, piling both of his catches under his arms to bring back to Ajak at the helm of the ship. He was probably just going to sling her over his shoulder, or worse, drag her.

"Go ahead," Gilgamesh grumbled, kneeling down to her. She was his defeat, and his responsibility. Ikaris floated ahead, even banging the Mind Reader's head against the door frame in his lack of care.

Her face looked so peaceful.

Gilgamesh caught himself trying to move her hair away from her face before sighing. He slipped one hand under her arm and shoulders, and the other under her knees. She folded into his grasp so easily he wasn't sure if she weighed anything at all.

"Gil."

He stared down at her, ready for another fight if she was waking again. But as he drew his arms in, all she did was relax against him--him, the enemy. He couldn't imagine why.

But her head rolled to the side, and her tiara even met the cold, hard shell of his chest plate. And yet she had a little smile on her face, as if there were no place she would rather be. He adjusted her a little before making the trip to the head of the ship as well. He did have the courtesy not to smack her head against the door, at least.

She kept calling him Gil.

No one called him that. He didn't even think of himself like that. His name was Gilgamesh, and he was the Strongest Eternal, sent by Arishem to retrieve rogue Eternals who had been tainted by the Deviants of Earth. He had never met this woman before.

But his heart ached in his chest as he carried her.

He felt conflicted fighting her. He had felt awful knocking her out. And he had felt so protective at the thought of Ikaris laying a single hand on her.

"There he is."

Gilgamesh walked in with the Warrior Eternal in his arms. He held her gently, just briefly looking at the other two piled on the floor like litter.

"Well done," Ajak said, observing the difference in technique between him and Ikaris. She waved her glowing hands.

Gilgamesh stepped back slightly as the woman in his arms floated up out of his embrace and upright. The lines of her energy signature formed around her, creating a golden cage in a sense around her.

"These will hold them until we arrive at the World Forge," Ajak clarified as the three bodies floated to their places around the statue of Arishem.

Ikaris joined Ajak again at the front window, discussing their strategy. Those two seemed close but also at odds, in a weird way. Gilgamesh turned away from them, back to the blonde.

She was beautiful.

He wasn't a traitor just for thinking so. He walked closer, looking up at her floating just off the ground. The signature of her Cosmic Energy was weaker, but he could swear he still felt it calling out to him. It was like they were cut from the same cloth.

He reached up, tucking some hair behind her ear and out of his way. It felt familiar, in a terrifying way. Her eyes didn't even flutter. Not that he wanted her to wake up.

Gilgamesh looked back at his teammates, but they were whispering among themselves. They weren't any more concerned with him than he was about them. And that was just fine. They were a team, not some cobbled together family unit.

He looked up at her again. Thena. That name had been pulsing in his head since he saw her. He wasn't sure how; she was the Warrior Eternal, deadly and traitorous. That was all he knew about her. Except her name. And that she had a sweet sounding laugh. It echoed through memories he didn't have.

He hadn't even realised he was reaching up until his fingertips met her cheek. He didn't know what he was doing. He had no explanation for it to himself, much less to his team, let alone the woman herself. Her skin was soft.

It seemed impossible, but he could have sworn to all the stars in the sky that she leaned into his touch, however much she could. He didn't press his palm to her skin. That felt...wrong--like he had no right. Just looking at her felt like a betrayal of some kind. "Thena."

The Warrior's sandy coloured eyelashes fluttered. Maybe she was stronger than Ajak had assumed. She couldn't open her eyes, but he knew they were green (somehow). "Gil."

That name again. It made his whole body burn, like his chest was on fire. He stood back from the Warrior calling for him--someone. He didn't know who she was calling out to, but it wasn't really him.

"Gilgamesh."

He turned towards his Prime, and his fellow Eternal at the window. It seemed so cold over there. He nodded, walking over silently. Only when he was further away did he realise he had been holding the Warrior Eternal's hand.

"Are you prepared to hand them over?" Ajak asked.

He frowned, "why wouldn't I be?"

Ajak was silent, but Ikaris freely scoffed at him, "y'seem awfully soft on the traitor. There's no need for the gentleman routine with faulty scum."

Gilgamesh clenched his fists at his side, but he forced himself to remember his place. "I'm curious, but I'm not confused about the mission."

"Good," Ajak concluded, ending the conversation for both of them.

Ikaris let out one last laugh at him before floating off again. Did he have to fly everywhere just for the sake of it? He could walk just fine.

Gilgamesh tried not to seem like he was watching keenly as Ikaris walked by the prisoners again. Ikaris also looked up at the Warrior Eternal, and Gilgamesh tried not to yell at his teammate to keep his distance from her.

But Ikaris kept moving, and Gilgamesh wasn't eager to admit that his chest loosened. His eyes left the figure of Thena floating limply. He blinked, finding Ajak staring at him. "What?"

She looked back at the Warrior Eternal and then back to him. "You know her."

He shook his head. "We were briefed on all of them. She was a better fighter than I could have imagined. I think that deserves some respect."

Yes, he had respect for his fellow Fighter. She seemed very much his equal, all agility where he was sturdiness. He wanted her to be treated with respect and honour, just like any good warrior.

He wanted her to be handled so delicately a flower would weep with envy.

"I agree," Ajak sufficed to say. She gave him one last look before leaning closer, "keep your mission in mind, Gilgamesh. Whatever the traitors try to whisper in your ear...remember their deception."

"I will," he assured his team leader before she too departed. He stayed at the window, looking into the vast nothingness where eventually the World Forge would come into view. He looked over his shoulder.

It wouldn't be long until he could ask her why she called him Gil.

#Thenamesh AU #thank you so much love!!!#I hope you don't mind #this is a little bit different from some other reunion fics #but I do think this is what it might be like #if we ever get Eternals content ever again please god please anyone I beg of you #Gilgamesh has no idea why he sees this woman #the enemy #and he loves her #he can feel it in his chest every time he throws a punch #he imagines Ikaris grabbing her and throwing her over his shoulder and it makes him want to scream #he says don't fucking touch her!#I mean I'll carry her you go ahead #Gil carries her so gently #when Ajak lets them out of their bindings #Gil catches her before she can hit the floor #Ikaris is like what the fuck is up with this guy #grabs Druig and Makkari again #also I'm so sorry but he would not be gentle with them #Gilgamesh is like I'll carry her #and Sersi will see this and be like Gil #that's our way out of this mess #if we can talk some sense into any of them it's him #Kingo: not your literal ex-husband?#Sersi: no

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