#and when ur finally like

[inkskinned]

you didn't say sorry, not really. you said sorry only when i pushed about it, you said it like an afterthought, like - oh fine, if this is what you want. the apology was already tearing itself apart in the air. you said sorry, but you caused this. you said sorry you feel that way, i guess. you said: what else do you want me to say? you've already made up your mind to be angry about this.

you've moved on since then. i hope you found a therapist. i am stuck with all of the hurt you caused but - you've been working on yourself, on your multiple projects, on that beautiful life you live. happy - you look happier, lighter, free of all of it. you take artsy videos of yourself dancing; caption it - a friend recently abandoned me.

nobody else knows how hard you pushed. nobody else knows what you did. i am sure you tell everyone a version of the truth that makes out the best of you; turns me into a cold unfeeling bitch who just "doesn't understand" you. i am sure you leave out all the ways i gave you myself, over and over, for years. how many times before this you hurt me, crossed my boundaries, laid me bare - what you say to them about when i finally drew the line is - she is just being unfair.

sometimes i feel insane about it. i have to text my best friend, make sure that what-i-think-happened actually-happened. to double-check that i wasn't being a bad person. maybe i'm misremembering it. she often has to guide me back to the same two facts: beyond what any one person could reasonably expect, i gave you everything, and you still wanted more of it.

it makes me angry, when it doesn't make me sick. i force myself to journal about it. how fucked up it makes me, knowing your narrative will be the one that sticks - knowing you are out there, right now, making sure everyone listens. telling them how you are being targeted. how you, hurting me on purpose, making me feel small, ignoring my needs - how that was really my fault, in the end.

yesterday you made a post on instagram talking about how you used to feel guilty about something that had gone wrong in a relationship, but that you've freed yourself from those toxic idealisms. you said: i am not giving her the power to make me feel bad about my mistakes. i am just a human person - it's up to her if she wants to be the bigger person and actually forgive.

and i just sat there and thought: you haven't even actually apologized for it.

#narcissist #toxic #this is about like #when u have done literally everything for someone #who takes and takes and takes from u #and when ur finally like #hey dude this thing u did hurt me #they're like #OFFENDED that u finally stood ur ground #and they turn on u SO quick #you: um dude it really hurt my feelings that u said that #them: god you're so fucking sensitive #them on instagram: LET PEOPLE BE THEMSELVES. JESUS CHRIST #them to their friends: yeah idk she just FREAKED OUT about like a miscommunication #you: .... i uhhhh asked u not to say that about me and to apologize for saying that #them to their friends: she just wants me to fucking live in misery she's toxic #you: ??????????????????????????????????? i asked ... u to treat me ... like a human person #anyway don't let those people bait u #they're good at what they do and they'll make sure to act on ur weaknesses and #get u back #so they can keep taking from u endlessly #like.... stealing ur whole energy

[choccy-milky]

MC doing what we all wished we could do (aka napping on the floor with ominis )😴💕

#ill never get over how he just sleeps on the floor its so cute to me and seems so at odds with his personality which makes it better #hogwarts legacy #hphl #ominis gaunt #ominis gaunt x mc #ominis gaunt x oc #ominis x mc #hogwarts legacy ominis #hogwarts legacy fanart #hey look everyone its my nameless MC aka just brown haired clora LMAOOO #its like when u play a fighting game and you and your friend both choose the same chara. this is clora with a diff colour scheme BAHAHA #this has been in my wips for like a year im not even joking im glad to finally actually draw it properly LMAO #i also love how all of my ominis centric posts involve him on the floor/talking about the floor LMFAOO EVEN THE SMUT ONE #what can i say i just love a man who isnt afraid to chill on the floor ok #also i love a hypocritical man LMAO apparently. i always make seb a hypocrite and now im makin ominis one too #HOW COULD U SLEEP ON THE FLOOR MC? #meanwhile #also srry but dont get ur hopes up for more ominis content anytime soon this was just in my wips and i rly wanted to finally have it done #A RARE TREAT FOR THE OMINIS GIRLIES #choccyart

[mblue-art]

once again i was fueled with coffee (did not sleep the whole night) but this time i doodled college au to cope bc ofc i did (also did not feel like sleeping wooo)

#self insert #cross!sans #epic!sans #mblue art #cm #m rambles #(that tag is needed bc hoo boy u can tell i did not get sleep and is fueled by caffeine) #(do not be like me!!!!!!!!! do not deprive urself of sleep 💀💀💀) #(get a good 6-7hrs a day if u can. if 4-5hr works better for u then im not forcing u to sleep more 😤😤😤 as long as u rest well 😁👍) #(AND HYDRATE... if ur reading this try to take a sip rn 🥤) #campus au #(college au scenarios will be tagged that heehoo) #not colored just lines bby 😎😎😎 #idiots to lovers type shit where they both confide in epic n he's just chillin #waiting for the time when these dummies will finally confess to eachother themselves #(look i think it's rlly funny seeing cross be all cool calm collected in public but when he talks to epic abt his crush) #(he goes insane with a million different flustered/blushing emojis) #( 'they told me good luck on my test and gave me the nicest smile ever how was i gonna live after that' goofy ass. idiot /aff) #( 'DUDE THEY GAVE ME A MOTIVATIONAL NOTE. IN /PINK/ PAPER. ON CHOCOLATE. DOES THIS...... 😳' guys i love silly dorky cross to bits so much) #(man fucking explodes w his simping n epic just goes LMAO but he's v supportive for his bruh 💪😤) #(on the other hand my sona thinks he's sooo cool and awesome and smart and honestly fucking charming HHELLO THE TIMES WHEN HE LAUGHS AND) #(AND SMILES HELLOOO MR HANDSOME I MEAN WHATT) #( 'stars if he likes me back i wouldn't know what to do with myself. fucking EXPLODE? YIPPEE CONFETTI??' lots of flushge ) #(going ueueue at big bro epic bc they got a super massive crush on his bestie but) #(but the head is entertaining 'what-if's BUT i think kuya epic knows how to steer the thoughts away from those and smack em w teasing 😎✨) #(ultimately distracting and successfully reassuring them 😎😎😎) #(tsundere mblue no way not in here im down bad astronomically full on simping my guys) #(he might be a dumbass sometimes but he's my dumbass) (ok i'll shut up now fr) #anywayz campus au is the my highschool au but we're all adults and more tired yippeee

[stealingpotatoes]

luke and biggs… thoughts?

many thoughts + it means luke has a type

#its so insane when u think abt it as a 'they never acted on it' love story #like u finally reunite w ur bestie and childhood crush u think its gonna be great finally flying togehter properly #u think maybe u'll say smthn when u get back from this if u survive #u dont even consider that HE might not survive #and so on the same day u become a hero to the galaxy u lose the one last part of home u had left #and u know its not the same as leia but my god ur planet might as well have just blown up #cause theres nothing left of the place u called home. nobody to share ur childhood memories with #the one escaped tatooine first. the one u always loved. hes gone #and worst of all nowhere to put that overwhelming love you've been keeping inside all this time. it has to stay in ur chest forever #luke skywalker #thanks for the ask! #biggsluke #skylighter #< also it has a sick secondary ship name

[robiinurheart33]

CHAPTER 22 SPOILERS FOR THE NEON VOID‼️‼️

Haha wdym no I didn’t read the chapter almost one month after it came out wdym that’s crazy haha

ANYWAYS NEON VOID BRAINROT ANYONE?? As usual a magnificent read what can I say @sugarpasteltmnt is SO SO talented after I read this chapter I stared off into space for like a solid minute before laughing hysterically like Leo because MY GOD the adrenaline rush is so real. What compliment can I say that hasn’t been said about this fic. It gives me such goosebumps and the action sequences are just. Muah. Breathtaking. I cannot wait to read the next chapter and keep up the good work!! /lh /all pos

#my art #PLEASE TAKE UR TIME W THE NEXT CHAPTER #idw you to get burned out or anything #ur heath is the most important! #sorry this isn’t a full fledged drawing #I just read the newest chapter and completely blanked out #suddenly it’s 2am and the excited jitters in my brain finally calmed down #ur writing is like eating sour candy with a sweet aftertaste #SO GOOD #also is it weird that I have headcanons about ur fic?? #hope it isn’t #but I like to imagine when Leo gets spastic his Krang eye goes haywire and shoots all over the place #same goes for his krang parts like it squirms and wriggles underneath the skin #Or when Leo is bored the sharp end of his tail will poke the ground rhythmically #HOPE YOU LIKE THE ART #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rotten #save rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #The Neon Void #The Neon Void TMNT #TNV TMNT

[rebouks]

Previous // Next

Hi Alex!

I don’t think it’s stupid or cheesy to miss someone, I miss you too! Going back to normal after being on holiday is always horrible, especially after this one, and especially having to go back to school, I’m not a big fan! Do you go to school too? I wanted to ask if you did but I couldn’t… it’s nothing personal, by the way, sometimes I just can’t speak to people and I don’t really know why. I thought it was my decision if I did or didn’t before I met you but maybe not. My parents n’ the teachers at school call it selective mutism but I won’t bore you with all that crap.

I can’t see your new teeth but they grow fast so maybe next time! If they don’t maybe you could get some gold one’s like your dad has, unless you don’t wanna look like a pirate lol.. my littlest sister has four teeth now, and I have all my big teeth! I haven’t counted the twins though cos they’d probably bite me if I tried haha!!

Ava is the tiny one with the blonde pigtails! She’s cute but she still sleeps and poops a lot haha, she’s sorta chill though and definitely doesn’t cry as much as Wren and Byrd used to (have you noticed we’re all named after birds yet? I guess my parents thought it was cute since our last name is Finch) Wren’s the ginger one with plaits! She’s pretty funny but she’s super grumpy sometimes and likes to bite and kick (not me though, she loves me) I think it’s cos she’s tired a lot cos she never sleeps at night, kinda like dad.. they’re twins but Byrd is way different, I couldn’t get a picture of him cos he kept running off, he’s crazy like that but he’s super snuggly and loves playing doctor! He likes to pretend to break my legs so I can’t go anywhere then fix them for me haha. Brothers and sisters are fun but they can be a pain in the butt sometimes! We have a cat called Lou too, his full name is Toulouse and he likes to bring us leaves from the garden and scream about ‘em, and he loves stealing food when you’re not looking.

Dad’s been teaching mom how to cook cos she sucks at it (don’t tell her I said that though cos I always pretend it’s not THAT bad) she’s sorta getting better though so I suppose the whole practice makes perfect thing pays off eventually. I got a school project to make a lame volcano that I didn’t wanna do as well, but my parents made me do it anyway.. we all know that real volcanoes aren’t full of baking powder and vinegar though so I dunno if there was much point to it but they seemed to think it was important so I did it anyway, at least I got a picture of it “going off” I guess. No one likes homework, even if it’s supposed to be fun, right?!

It’s cool you set Amber free!! I’m sure she’s happier wherever she is now so I guess you could just think of that when you miss her? The rocks are way cooler anyway! My aunt Aspen has loads of crystals too, sometimes she even charges them in the sun or the full moon.. I keep forgetting to ask her why but I’ll try and remember so I can tell you next time!

Hahaa your poor dad with those birds! I’ll definitely keep the picture cos it’s hilarious, Wren found it the funniest but don’t worry, I’ll keep the picture safe from her sticky hands! I have a hiding spot in the attic for all the stuff I don’t want them touching. I guess birdwatching is sorta fun sometimes but you’ve gotta be quiet (easy for me I guess.. hah!) I’m not sure there’s any other birds round here other than seagulls since we live right next to the sea, those are the ones you can hear the most anyway cos they never shut up! My dad jokes that he used to be a seagull in a past life cos he’s loud and greedy like they are lol.. he’s been building me a treehouse too, I bet that’d be good for birdwatching!! It’ll be super cool once he’s finished but it’s taking ages cos he mostly does it all by himself, I try n’ help sometimes but I’m still too small to carry or lift most things.. I wanna be as strong as him one day, he can build and fix almost anything (he swears a lot during it though haha!) Do you ever think about what you wanna be when you grow up? I don’t really think about that sorta stuff cos working sounds boring, especially if it’s as lame as school!!

I’m ten, by the way! How old are you and when’s your birthday? Mine’s February 22nd. I don’t think I have a favourite food, anything my dad makes is amazing cos he’s a good cook and my mom makes the BEST pancakes! We’re always stuffed after dinner but dad says (lies) that pudding goes in a different part of your stomach so there’s always room for cake haha.. I think I like it best when he makes spicy food but Wren and Byrd hate it so he doesn’t make stuff like that too often. It’s fun to see how much you can eat before your mouth feels like it’s on fire and I’ve decided I’m gonna beat him one day so he better watch out!!!

I didn’t know what to write at first but I guess I sorta ended up writing quite a lot since I had some catching up to do! Are you and your dad on holiday in the tower or are you living there for now? It sorta sounded like you’ve been there a long time, where do you usually live? What kinda stuff does your dad dig up for work? It’d be cool if he dug up dinosaur bones!! I watched something like that recently and they were HUGE!

It’s hard to think of questions on the spot but you can talk about anything you want too! I probably owe you a million answers as well so you can ask anything you want too! I had fun reading your letter and I’m glad we can be pen-pals even if we don’t get to see each other! Maybe next time we meet in person I’ll be able to say something, but writing would still be fun too so I guess it doesn’t really matter, right?

Love Robin c:

ps. I’m keeping the funny photo of you yelling at your dad and there’s nothing you can do about it!!

pps!! I don’t have a way to print out photos yet otherwise I’d have sent some new ones. Dad gave me an old polaroid ages ago but it’s still broken, his friend said he might be able to fix it though so hopefully I can use that next time. Mom said you can have some of our old ones and the ones from her disposable camera whilst we were on holiday for now though so I’ll send those to you as soon as they come back!

#ts4 #sims 4 #simblr #ts4 story #sims story #forever in between #fib #robin finch #alexandra sampson #brodie sampson #wren finch #byrd finch #ava finch #ᓚᘏᗢ #love it when kids are like LOOK n shove stuff so close to ur face u can't see shit #😆 #sdkjsk robin doesn't know what to write #also robin.. writes a ten page essay #bless him #he could finally 'talk'!!! #🤸‍♀️

[ineed-to-sleep]

I've been sketching her between commissions and kglhbjlbgm I love her so much. bbygirl you are so Shaped

also I made her a lil playlist so she can live rent free in my brain for an additional 1hr3min 👍🏻

#bg3 #tav #girl I spent so long overthinking the songs in this playlist n their order 🫠 but I'm finally satisfied w how it is rn #when I play it I'm like yess YEESS that's you that's my girl I'm inside ur brain................ #oc.nawen #sketch tag #I still wanna add more songs tho 1hr is not enough #pepper has 3hrs I feel like that's ideal playlist size

[dinoserious]

lightly chewing on de again. disco buggys

#disco elysium #sketch #anthro #insect #ive been wanting to do a replay fir a while but never actually been in the right mood for it. maybe i can finally get arounf #*around to that #also beetle harry has been floating around as an idea in my head for ages now. here he finally is #hdb is like seven different animals to me #edit: when ur ten min silly doodle gets more notes then most of ur other recent work -_- #but such is the way of Posting. sigh

[guardian-angle22]

911 LONE STAR REWATCH 2024 -> MY FAVORITE SCENES | Carlos picking up TK at the bar in 1.01 Pilot

#911 lone star #911lsedit #tarlos #tk strand #carlos reyes #911 lone star rewatch 2024 #episode: s01e01 pilot #ok few things here. first off tk put that tongue back in ur filthy mouth #that eyebrow raise tk does when he gets on the dance floor? it's like 'huh did not see THIS being how my night was gonna go' #finally can anyone watch this scene without thinking about their back & forth in 2x04? #'i could not hold out that long' 'yes i remember the 15 minutes after we first met' DYINGGG #my gifs

[bucephaly]

It's kinda shocking to me how few people seem to know how prevalent the 'my great grandmother was cherokee' myth is and how it's almost never actually true, especially when it comes with things like 'never signed up' or 'fell off the trail' or 'courthouse burned down destorying the documentation' etc etc.

People just don't even seem to know the history like.. when the Trail happened. My great great great grandfather was 2 years old during Removal in 1838, so peoples 'my great grandmother hid in the mountains!' is so clearly wrong. And we have rolls. From before and after removal, rolls done by cherokee nation and others by the government, rolls that were not stored in one random flammable courthouse. It's not difficult to find the actual evidence of ancestry.

And just.. there are lots of ways those family stories get started. It was a practice during the confederacy to claim cherokee ancestry to show one's family had 'deep roots in the south' that they were there before the cherokee were removed. Many people pretended to be cherokee and applied for the Guion-Miller payout just to try to steal money meant for cherokees - 2/3rds of the applicants were denied for having 0 proof of actual cherokee ancestry. [We even see lawyers advertising signing up for the Miller roll just to try to get free money.] And the myth even started in some families in the cherokee land lotteries, where the land stolen from us was raffled off, including the house and everything that was left behind when the cherokees were removed. We have seen people whose families just take these things stolen from the cherokee family and adopt them into their own family story, saying that they were cherokee themselves.

If you had some family story about being cherokee and you wanna have proof one way or the other, check out this Facebook group run by expert cherokee genealogists that do research for free. Just please read the rules fully and respect the researchers. They run thousands of people's ancestries a year and their average is only around 0.7% of lines they run actually end up having true cherokee ancestry.

#and ive heard even dumber origins of the cherokee family myth #such as an ancestor having a silly sounding name so the descendents just go 'oh she mustve been an indian!!!' #i was one of the few people who had my ancestry done on the facebook and had genuine cherokee ancestry #[though i had found it before it was just really validating to get it double checked and i started finding cousins (:] #like. i was told once when i was a kid by my grandma that my dad had cherokee ancestry and i didnt believe her. its wild that so many peopl #will make it a Fixture of their identity [or even just smth they bring up ever] with Zero proof #at least for cherokees from what ive seen its usually considered really disrespectful to claim to have cherokee ancestry without #actually having the documentation [like ancestors on the rolls] #and no a dna test doesnt count. nor does 'my dad is Clearly not white!' or 'high cheekbones' or old family photos or anything #i had this discussion with someone recently whose dad had been calling himself 3/4 native but didnt know exactly what nation ???? hello? #and its like... sorry but ur dad is like. italian lol. #[and blood quantum is bullshit anyway im tired of the 'im 1/16 cherokee' comments its dumb #cherokee nation does not have a blood quantum requirement. its pointless bringing it up in the discussion of who is or isnt cherokee] #also mandatory disclaimer that im reconnecting. i didnt grow up connected to the culture of even knowing my ancestry #this is all from my looking into this stuff over the past year or so. i cant claim to be an authority over anything regarding this #this is p much all my repeating things ive heard said by people who know a lot more than i do haha #man. and this isnt even starting to get into the fake tribe stuff. the only legit cherokee groups are the 3 federally recognized bands #cherokee nation of oklahoma. united keetoowah band. and the eastern band of cherokee indians. #any others that are state recognized or not at all arent acknowledged as legitimate by any of the legit cherokee groups #anyway. my final message goodb.ye #cherokee #tsalagi

[superloves4]

I would fight Tolkien himself over my absolute belief that Maglor not throwing himself into the water but singing in sorrow on the shores forever is simply the best possible ending fo him

#silmarillion #the silmarillion #feanorians #maglor #tolkien #silm #i feel very strongly about this #it’s so perfect in so many ways #and I’m not even saying he’ll eventually be saved #him being saved is not a necessity for this #but maglor throwing himself into the water cluching the silmaril is dumb #and boring #and after maedhros just plain repetitive #like i get that ur all for that death = redemption something something christianity #but mags deserves for his final act to be the abandonament of the silmaril #after spending the whole story following his family even when he knew it was wrong #also the fulfilment of feanor added ‘sing of our deeds forever’

[haunted-xander]

I think about that scene in the Ocular where Ryne suggests she fuse with Minfilia properly so so much. It manages to very clearly demonstrate exactly what is wrong with her & Thancred's current dynamic.

First of all: Minfilia. The ghost of Minfilia is constantly haunting them both, it's the root of Thancred's grief and reticence as he doesn't want to lose her again, but nor does he want to lose Ryne. And for Ryne, she's the source of the constant objectification she's been subjected to her entire life, proof of her worthlessness as an individual person. The scene has the existance of Minfilia be the main point of tension, being that this whole plan will decide once and for all if she comes back or not.

And secondly: The complete lack of communication and, as a result, massive misunderstandings. Thancred says everything but the things he should, never telling Ryne anything regarding how he actually views or feels about her, be it in regards to Minfilia, or as her own individual person. And Ryne in turn assumes so much about how Thancred DOES view and feel about her, believing without a doubt that he wishes she was gone just so Minfilia could return.

This scene is the first and only place were Ryne actually confronts him about this, directly telling him 'I know you haven't told me anything because you thought it best for me'. She also says she thought it the best at first too, meaning that the sentiment she repeats throughout shb of 'I wish he'd just say he hates me' is a (relatively) more recent thing. What she has wrong, however, is that she actually doesn't know Thancred's true feelings like she claims. And when she says she does, Thancred immediately tells her 'No. No you do not', all while never actually saying anything to indicate what he actually feels (his ability to avoid voicing is feelings is almost impressive at this point. Also very depressing).

And the cherry on top is that the one who actually manage to grasp and voice the truth in this interaction is fucking Emet-Selch. Mr. I-dont-even-consider-you-alive is the one who is open about the feelings involved. Emet-fucking-Selch. Thancred gets so pissed off about it, too(tbf he gets pissed off at everything Emet does but, ya know).

And then he storms out and Ryne, who isn't looking at anyone let alone Thancred, doesn't really see his full reaction to Emet's words and therefore still hasn't quite grasped what Thancred is actually feeling, the poor girl.

#surprise surprise its another waters family post. very shocking i know/s #*shaking thancred violently* TALK TO HER #u know u fucked up when ur mortal enemy has to speak your feelings for u #im gonna chew them both like dog toys #ryne waters #thancred waters #do i tag emet #eh sure #emet-selch #final fantasy #final fantasy 14 #final fantasy xiv #ff14 #xander rambles #oh i said id make a ryne ramble tag didnt it #um. #xander being insane about ryne #yeah sure #ffxiv

[detco-hell]

she summed up the series quite nicely, yes

[movie 12 - Full Score of Fear]

#hes the main problem solver but also the main problem causer #lock him in a hamster cage and beika will finally know peace #also quick question regarding this scene: why did they even include him when he famously cannot sing... #like.... if ur gonna make fun of him anyway #seems kinda mean :( #detective conan #movie 12 #Full Score of Fear #2008 #movies #detco hell original #edogawa conan #yoshida ayumi #haibara ai #tsuburaya mitsuhiko #kojima genta #detective boys #blue jacket #red hood #yellow shirt

[inkskinned]

i've been in pretty much constant pain for the past 4 months. i have a slipped disc. the mri this weekend finally confirmed what i'd already suspected. mostly, i just put up with it.

i've been in a pretty bad mental space since winter began. my brain is leaking out from between my ears. i just don't care enough to listen to the rabid wet whispering of hope. i'm mostly just bored of being here, the swaddled joyless apathy.

the back pain ebbs and flows, but it's there, so i take care of it. i do my physical therapy. i get in with a specialist. i'm lucky - there's no immediate need for surgery. it's bad, but it could be worse. when i talk about how i did it (it was a very bad sneeze), i usually start laughing. it's funny! i am never comfortable, but hey. i'm young. i'll bounce back, or so they keep saying.

i just found out it's not normal to wake up every night with a category-five panic attack. i'm lucky if i am still able to remember how to spell my name right. i spend my days in a weird blank haze, exhausted, desperate for respite - only to be unable to rest during the night. i say with a laugh - i really hate it when my mental illnesses start working together. i mean, sure. unionize. it's fine. i have lost all sense of myself. there's nowhere that's actually warm in my mind.

i feel bad how often i complain about my back. my friends immediately shush my apology. dude, you slipped a disc. continue complaining.

as a kid, i think i only really admitted to the bad things... twice. for some reason, when he didn't just dismiss it - it made my dad angry. he slammed a door at me. you're fucking ungrateful. what do you have to be sad for?

what an odd delight: the slipped disc gave me the oddest wave of relief. i'm allowed to actually hurt about this thing.

i have chronic conditions which aren't "real" things. i could write a novel on the weird ways people respond to my POTS & the rest of my fun physical acronyms. i am kind of ashamed to admit - i like the way it feels to be able to say well, because of a slipped disc. a slipped disc is a real thing. a slipped disc is serious and painful. there's diagrams and infographics about slipped discs. upon my diagnosis, they immediately offered me narcotics.

i haven't been able to get up out of bed for more than a few hours. i do less and less and less and less. i have started to sit down in the shower. sighing my way from deadline to deadline. this again. in one day and out the other. people tell me i don't really need my meds. i have run out of times saying i have depression, it's become almost transparent. it's so bad my therapist suggested meeting more than once a week, but i don't want to worry her, so i never finish setting up a second meeting. every creative spark in my soul has been entirely ravaged - but that's just capitalism, baby. i don't even take the day off of work. i just show up and do a bad job and get yelled at for it.

it's not real, after all. the pain is just imagined.

#spilled ink #warm up #is this clear? #i have chronic pain & illnesses which i will not be discussing on this blog #and i will say that the way i'm treated about those is often just as bad #but since i don't have the room to give it justice on this post #it's ... about that weird sensation of... #''oh this is a real thing that actually hurts people'' #when u have spent ur life in pain and being told that pain isn't real #feeling like you are '''allowed''' to finally ACTUALLY feel pain #that sense -- oh thank god it's actually bad #idk maybe im a bad person #but sometimes i do like to write about. the actual symptoms of mental illness #and sometimes the Illnesses Do Make Me Think Bad Thoughts #so if this is weird just tell me i'll bring it up w/my therapist ig

[theloveinc]

OKAY hear me out but touya WITH a job getting ready at your cute vanity and pink room. struggling to put up his cargo pants/ slacks with the belt, while running over to get his coat off of the fuzzy pink chair in the corner. he's forced to fix his hair and check if his face looks the least presentable in your mirror filled with polaroids before he goes out and it's SO funny to watch him do that omg. i'm gonna die

(pt. i!)

WAHHH mismatched socks, the elastic of his calvin kleins (that u bought him) peeking out at his backside; he nearly trips over his work bag that's waiting for him on the floor and practically slides right into your full-length mirror--you're really rooting for him and even though he wouldnt say it, he'd try to strangle himself if he lost his job for being late just one too many times--because he's rushing to get out the door.

you can hear him from the kitchen where you're putting together lunches (not for him specifically, but because you already make something for yourself, you might as well...you're welcome, touya), AND YES IT'S SO HARD not to laugh when the door bursts open and he's looking like a little fool with his black and white hair actually combed down and smudges around his eyes from trying + failing to get your eyeliner off of him.

(also, did he use your hairspray that was sitting on your vanity? maybe. okay, yes. though it's no surprise he knows where everything you own is lmfao)

he stills refuses to let you put things in a lunch box, but no way in HELL he's not shoving the wrapped sandwich and bento full of fruit into his bag before !!! kissing you goodbye!!!

it's truly like a dream come true 'coz even though part of him feels like a DOG having to work for the man, making you happy is what MAKES HIM HAPPY and being able to fill your (and now! his) room with more cute and pink things is his new favorite hobby...

(and even though he blushes like hell doing it, the next lunch date he's picking you up from, he's paying the whole table's bill in CASH and not taking no for an answer. makes him feel the best he has in a while. even though he's still eating everyone's leftovers lmao.)

slay the house down HOUSTON I'M DECEASED!!!!

#dabi #sorry my grammar went oUT THE DOOR WITH THIS #HE (YOUR IDEAS ANON) MAKE ME INSNANNANANENENENSNSNANANNENEN #also him in big doc martens I AM ASDJFLKAJDHFJKADHSFNJKADHJN #i fiend.... for him....... #and i love u anon thank u for this blessing #also i wonder what he does for work i've been trying to think!! #i def think it's something funny like the dmv or post office or something #bUT IDK MAYBE it's something else entirely!! #this dabi universe is everything to me #also if u have ur little kitten nibbles too <3 and he finally can afford to buy it expensive food #WAH #he's so ... boywife like truly his friends( shiggy toga twice mags all of them) are all . 'okay when did YOU get married? #and he's like shut up . but then asks if he can invite them over for dinner sometime akljdfladjfa #yes now that u pay rent boi #MWAH #caitie things #anon #gen

[puhpandas]

here are some of my thoughts on how beckory could be if ggy never happened and gregory continued to live a normal life being abnormal

#i love beckory but i cant imagine ggy never happening #like WHAT DO YOU MEAN GREGORY WOULD NEVER MEET HIS FAMILY?? #HE WOULD NEVER MEET VANESSA AND FREDDY? #so its like. sorry tony if we're doing this ur getting attempted murdered but surviving #and then chasing ur friend who may not really be ur friend but you can just feel in your heart that you need to find him #and then learning u were right all along when you finally get to him #and then queue eeverything that comes after lol #beckory works better after gregory gains his real family anyway #because i dont think gregory all alone needs romance. he needs friends and familu #so AFTER he gains that in freddy and vanessa then we can go beckory #you know #i dont want to ship it just to ship it i want to make it best for their characters #beckory #thoughts #tony #gregory #ggy