#and whenever I have this much I make checklists to help me
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My request is a bit odd, but could you do a ghost x reader where it's late at night drinking coffee/tea and there just talking about soft things, specifically the reader just saying. " I'm really glad to have met you. " And ghost scoffs " why are you saying as if your going to die?"
“soft ramblings over tea”
includes: fluff, simon opening up, tw death
words: 1.2k
It’s the night before Simon has to leave you, yet again.
Because that’s what your relationship with him is; a series of lows whenever he has to leave, and peaks of elation whenever he comes back to you.
He’s been trying to distract you from the reality of it all day. Doing the laundry with you (your favorite chore), ordering pizza, putting on that new film you’d wanted to see. But now the night has started to set, and he’s got to check his bag to make sure he has everything he needs.
You’ve offered to help with going over the checklist.
He shakes his head, telling you, “Make us some tea. I’ll be done soon.”
You boil the water and find two mugs. Hearing the sounds of him shuffling around as he packs invites a hot, stinging moisture to your eyes. He’s so much better at this than you are. You wonder if it will ever get easier. After two years, you decide that even with all the challenges your relationship has brought, saying goodbye like this was easily the worst one.
Soon, the house will be empty. His scent in the sheets will fade.
You pick out the tea bags: earl grey for him, chamomile for yourself.
Simon’s just finished zipping up his bag when you walk in the bedroom with the two warm mugs in tow.
“Perfect timing,” he rasps, but quickly notices the faded redness in your eyes. Instead of commenting on it, he decides to pat the bed. “Come on, sit here with me.”
Handing him his mug, you sit on the bed next to him. His body radiates almost as much heat as the tea, and it relaxes you. You sit with your legs crossed, knee touching his, and both of you are already in your pajamas for the night. You’re certain you won’t be getting good sleep, if any.
“Do you remember when we first met?” Simon asks, splaying a hand over your knee. He lifts his mask up just to take a sip from his mug.
“It’s not something I like to remember,” you utter, a flush to your cheeks. “I nearly ran you over with my bike.”
“Coordination isn’t your thing, pet,” he hums low. “Can’t complain, can we? Led to good things.”
He’s distracting you, but you welcome it. He rubs his rough thumb over your skin and tells you about little things that he’s never mentioned before. Seeing you as the sad one, stuck in your thoughts, urges Simon to do the talking for once. He tells you how he remembers what clothes you were wearing that day you’d met, and how he remembers you telling him all the names of your childhood pets one time and that he can list them all back to you.
“What?” You shake your head. “No, there is no way you were actually listening to all that.”
“You think I don’t listen?” he huffs. Eyebrow raised, Simon informs you, “I’ve got a damn good memory. That bunny of yours, the one that ran away, was named Shoeshine.”
Your tongue pokes your cheek. “And the goldfish?”
“Easy,” Simon says plainly. “Tolstoy, for some reason.”
“He just looked like a Tolstoy to me,” you whisper through a sheepish smile. Distracting you seems to be another one of Simon’s precise talents, or maybe you’re an easy target, because now your chest is fluttering and the redness in your eyes is gone.
Now that you’ve softened, you start to do the talking. You tell him about your cousin’s engagement party next weekend. How excited you are to see your family members after so long, and how you’re pretty sure your cousin is actually just pregnant (“she’s only been seeing the bloke for six months”).
Simon is listening carefully, his eyes thoughtful, before he comments, “I’ve never met your family.”
“I wasn’t sure if you felt comfortable with that,” you explain to him, finishing the last sip of your tea. “Do you want to meet them?”
“Maybe I should,” he grumbles, though he’s already thinking about how he would have to do some serious mental preparation for that. “I mean, you don’t have to meet mine since they’re dead.”
You flinch. “Simon…”
“Just a fact,” he says, shrugging, and he was always saying that when he mentioned something dark so casually. “Do you… what do you think your family would think of me?”
You set your empty mug on the bedside table. “They would think you are a good man,” is all you say, because you know he’s probably overthinking it.
Sure, you’ll have to explain some things about him and your relationship before he met them. Particularly, why you’ve kept him hidden for over two years. And maybe also the mask that he wears. But your family would accept him just as you have.
Simon is about to say something when you scoot closer to him and peak into his mug. “You’ve got a lot left there,” you hum. “Could I try some of yours?”
Eyes flashing to the cup you just set down, he groans and pinches your hip. “You always do this. Finish yours and then come for mine.”
“You drink it so slow.”
“Fuckin’ hell, take a sip.”
After he offers you his mug, you somehow end up in his lap. Legs tucked to your chest and your head resting on his, you listen to the rhythmic sound of his heart as he silently finishes his tea.
The sound of it in your ear is enough to bring the impending thoughts back to you. His heartbeat calms you as much as it terrifies you. Somehow, it has grown to have so much power over you. If it stopped, if he didn’t come back to you this time, you wouldn’t know what to do with yourself. You would become a ghost of yourself, you think. Barely there.
It’s when your eyes start to flutter that you mumble to him, “Please don’t die on me.”
It’s weird to hear you say it. Simon can’t remember anyone else being so desperate for his survival. He’s finally got a reason to care about it himself: having you to come home to was one hell of a motivator.
“Don’t plan on it,” Simon says, planting a firm kiss to your forehead.
“I’m…” you reopen your eyes so you can look up at him. Fingers twisting the fabric of his thermal, you whisper, “I’m so glad to have met you…”
“Hey now,” Simon scoffs. “Why are you talking like that? Like you’re gonna die or something.”
You let out a small laugh, pitiful and playful, as you feel him cup your cheek.
“No one’s dying, yeah? Don’t be dramatic. You’ll be here when I get home, right where I left ya.”
#fluff#just fluff#simon ghost riley x you#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley#call of duty#simon ghost riley x reader#fanfiction#thank you for the idea!
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Sonamy Headcanons because I’m deprived and extremely delulu 🙃
🩷 Sonic has like- telepathic senses that tell him whenever Amy is in potential danger
“My Amy Senses are tingling..” 🤣
if you’ve watched Barbie Life in the Dreamhouse, you’ll get it lololol
💙 Sonamy road trips roles
Amy: driver, trip organiser, checklists checklist checklists, “DONT EAT THOSE THEY’RE FOR THE TRIP!!”, carpool karaoke *whips out her inner Ariana Grande*, “eughhh Sonic did you fart?!”
Sonic: passenger princess, DJ, snacc provider (and eater), sleeping beauty, “couldn’t we just use my speed to get there?”, argues with the GPS because he knows a faster route (one not requiring the road)
🩷 Sonic and Amy playing table tennis:
Amy: sonic, serve
Sonic: *💁♂️🕺*
Amy: no- serve the BALL xD
💙 Person: “are you two dating?”
Sonic and Amy: *while holding hands* “no”
🩷 Though he doesn’t admit it, Sonic also loves his quills massaged. Sometimes when Sonic and Amy are chilling under a tree together, and he ends up dozing off, Amy will rest his head on her lap and stroke her hand through his quills, resulting in a few faint purrs from the hedgehog, which she secretly gushes over about
💙 They could be arguing for 5 minutes straight and after be like:
“I LOVE YOUUUU!!” >:O
“I LOVE YOU TOOOOOO!!!!” >:O
🩷 Amy finds shopping twice as fun with Sonic because he will just sit her in the shopping cart, as they zip up and down the aisles whilst grabbing the items on the list…getting it all done in 2 minutes tops. They call it the Operation: S^2 (Speed Shopping)
💙 Sonic and Amy could already be years into marriage but will still do or say things that’ll make the other flustered, like the times when they were dating.
🩷 Amy knows that if Sonic is being really flirty with her, he usually wants something.
💙 If Sonic and Amy are both sick one day, they will tell off each other, insisting they should be at home resting.
It results in both of them at Amy’s house, snuggled up on the couch binging movies.
🩷 As much as Amy likes sharing the goss with rouge and the girls, there’s nothing like sharing it with her bf because he goes all “omg gurl no wayyy! 💅” or he starts spilling his own tea with her lmao “omg bestie you won’t believe who I saw the other day…”
💙 Sonic plans secret meet ups with Cream, who teaches him how to make her signature flower crowns…he hopes to master it so he can make Amy one, one day…
🩷 (this following hc was an idea from a comic I believe..don’t know who made it but if u do pls let me know for credit purposes ig kajsjwidj)
Amy knows how Sonic can sometimes struggle to speak his feelings and is often an action over words type of guy. So she came up with this thing that anytime Sonic wants to tell Amy he loves her, without verbally saying it, all he needs to do is squeeze her hand 3 times; I. Love. you.
💙 When Amy told Sonic she wanted to go dancing with him, she didn’t expect it to be just dance…anyways she had tons of fun!
🩷 If they have sleepovers, it’s a tradition that they wear matching onesies (guys comment what they should be hehe)
💙 Amy uses Sonic as the makeup tester. He ends up looking ready for the circus afterwards but he honestly doesn’t mind this because he gets tons of kissies when she’s trying out the lipsticks
🩷 Walks along the beach are nice and romantic until Sonic decides to be a lil shh and kick sand in Amy’s shoes *cue her dragging her naughty bf towards the ocean*
💙 Amy’s a sucker for old school romance; love letters, flowers, fancy dates…and Sonic knows this. (Well EVERYONE does actually…) So one day, despite how inexperienced he is in the whole romance department, sets aside time to work on writing a letter, buying flowers and arranging somewhere nice to take Amy out for her to fulfil her romance fantasies. She’ll even get to dress up for this occasion
🩷 Sonic helping out Amy in the kitchen be like:
“A-Amy…I burnt the water…”
“Sonic how TF did you BURN the water?!”
“I DONT KNO-”
💙 Amy is having a downer and is very clingy…so here is Sonic running his gf’s errands, with his gf clinging onto him. People will see this unusual phenomenon and he just gives them all the stare…nothing to see here! I mean it ain’t the first time he’s had to cart a pink hedgehog round the place
🩷 For the longest time, Amy has had a box sitting aside in her closet, containing a new special swim shirt, arm floaties, and a swimming kickboard, for when Sonic decides to finally learn how to swim. She can’t see the day any of the contents will be used but she could only hope.
💙 Sonic keeps an umbrella on standby for future “need to share an umbrella” emergencies
🩷 In the winter, they’re practically inseparable, using each other desperately to warm up. Because of this Tails had to design them jackets with instant heating, but they still end up back together even though they aren’t freezing anymore
#yep still normal about them guys mhm#I swear if someone draws out one of these hcs I might die#I love them so much ajsjwjaidjsjdh#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#sth#amy rose#sonamy#sonic x Amy#sonic and Amy#sonamy headcanons#sonamy brainrot
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okay, hear me out, a D/S dynamic with Ticci Toby. One day you leave the mansion and go into town to buy a couple of things with Toby, and while he's gone to go get something some random guy approaches you. You don't realize it but he's flirting with you and again without realizing it you're somewhat flirting back, but Toby definitely noticed and when you get back to the mansion he's decided that you need to be taught who you belong to.
- 𝙔𝙊𝙐'𝙍𝙀 𝙈𝙄𝙉𝙀 !! ⪼☆
TICCI TOBY X FEM! READER ♡
enjoy!
oh my gosh i literally love this OMGG
CW: hair pulling, being tied up, dom/sub, jealousy fuck, breeding kink, orgasm denial (like once) , light choking, degradation, name calling (slut, whore, cunt), fwb, dub con (if u squint..)
you can skip to the part where it becomes NSFW cuz its kinda long
"you ready to go?" toby asked, keys to the mansions shared car in hand. he wore a black hoodie and some grey cargos with a belt, a mask covering the lower half of his face. you were just gonna get groceries for the mansion, you and toby were the more "normal looking" people.
you nodded, heading towards the exit. he opens the door for you and you thank him in response. you heard the old van's engine begin to run, you were suprised how that old thing still works. you head to the van, opening the door to the drivers seat. toby grabs your wrist. "we both know you suck at driving, let me drive." he said so passive aggresively. you roll your eyes, "i also suck something else." you winked. he looked away, shoving you into the car.
you mostly sat in silence for most of the ride, the occasional sex joke here and there. the ride to get into town was almost half an hour with this old ass van, leaving you both plenty of alone time.
but, you and toby arent a couple. actually, you aren't even that close as friends. it's more of a friends with benefits situation, whenever you both are horny or whatever, you fuck. that's pretty much it. you don't really talk when you're not doing that.
you think hes cute and hot, and he thinks the same for you. thats for sure. but relationships in the mansion never really.. work. you asked toby out before, but he rejected you since it "distracts from work" or whatever he says, you guys never became more than just friends with benefits. you breathe in as you both arrive to the grocery store. just a few snacks and frozen meals, you both didn't want to be out for long. your faces have been on wanted papers lately, you didnt wanna risk it.
you looked at the checklist..
waffles
broccoli
kitchen knife
pizza
noodles
water
it wasn't much, so you took your time look through the aisles for something you wanted. as you walked, you accidentally bumped into some random guy who had tons of stuff in his hand.
"i'm so sorry-" you let out a little gasp, apologizing for the inconvenice. you don't usually apologize, let alone do you even say anything thats somewhat nice, but damn this guy was smoking hot.
"it's no problem," the guy laughed. you smiled back sheepishly. "would you mind helping me pick this stuff up? if you have time of course." he asked.
you nodded yes frantically. picking up this fallen cans of food and whatever else there was, as you were, he asks "what's your name?" while scratching his neck, trying not to make it obvious he was trying to get your number.
"it's y/n. what's yours?" you ask back. you finished helping him pick everything up.
"it's emir." he smiled. he was almost as tall as toby, he was about 6'1 (ik thats not tobys canon height) with (h/c) hair and (s/t) skin.. and he was mighty fine.
"sooo.. i think you're pretty cute. and i may or may not have bumped into you on purpose just to get your number.." he laughed nervously and you giggled in response.
"aw thanks! i think you're pretty cute too," you took out your phone, "my number is-" you felt an arm snake around you, and another snatch your phone out of your hand.
you looked behind you, a figure slightly towering over you. "what the f-" he shushed you.
"she has a boyfriend." it was toby, you realized that when he grabbed you by the wrist and dragged you to the exit, grocery bags in his other hand. you looked behind you to emir and mouthed sorry. he laughed awkwardly, disappointed.
toby let go of you so you could get in the van. you both went in and literal steam was about to come out of your ears. "toby, what the actual fuck was that." you said with furrowed eyebrows.
he stayed silent and turned on the radio. he began to drive and you scoffed. "the guy was actually hot too.." you mumbled under your breath. you faintly heard a grunt escape tobys mouth and you rolled your eyes. "while you were flirting with some guy, i got the groceries." he said, eyes focusing ahead of him while he started the engine.
"we weren't even flirting, he just wanted my number!" you told him, anger obvious in your voice.
"like hell you weren't flirting. you literally were about to give him your number dumbass." you kept silent after he said that, and looked out the window for the rest of the ride.
by the time you both were out of the car and at the mansion, he had a death grip on your arm as he dragged you up the staircase and into his room. he slams the door behind you, locking it.
nsfw below the cut! ★
he pinned you against the wall. "you're fucking mine." he whispered into your ear. he moved strands of your hair away and bit and sucked at your neck and shoulders, showing everybody who you belong to. you moaned out his name, feeling his dick growing through his pants against your leg. he shoved you onto the bed, getting ontop of you with his knee inbetween your legs. he took off his belt and took ahold of your wrists, tying you to the headboard of his bed.
his look softened for a second, admiring your body beneath him. "you're such a fucking slut. what makes you think you can talk to other men like that? you're mine, you belong to me." he said into the nook of your neck, lightly choking you as he was taking in the smell of your perfume. he took off your clothes that were already half off. he fondled with your breasts, smashing his lips against yours, your lipstick lightly smudged on his lips. his lips found their way across your body, he left occasional hickeys on the way down to your pussy.
he aggresively kissed your inner thighs, "all mine." he grunted inbetween kisses. hands gripping your thighs, his nails digging into your skin.
"i'm all yours, toby." you said under your breath, your back slightly arched.
"bullshit." he scoffed as he looked up at you, pushing your panties aside and putting his fingers inside of you, thrusting them in and out of your dripping wet cunt. a loud moan escaped through your lips as he began to eat you out while he fingered you, tongue circling around your clit.
"you love my tongue, don't you? slutty bitch." he said, words laced with venom and jealousy. his harsh words brought heat straight down to your pussy, you clenched around his fingers. you became increasingly hot, and knew your orgasm was coming.
"toby- fuck- i'm coming." you moaned, biting your lip. the knot in your stomach began to untie. you felt his pace begin to slow, then stop. you whined, bucking your hips up hoping to get some pleasure and bring you to your high. he retracted from your pussy and took back his fingers. leaving you a panting and sweaty mess, still tied up. he shoved his fingers into your mouth, making you taste yourself on his hands. "suck, whore." he told you, pushing his fingers further down your throat.
"please toby, let me cum, please. i'm sorry. " you cried out through his fingers, begging for your release. he chuckled at your pleas.
"you wanna cum so bad, don't you? fucking slut." he laughed at you, the humiliation brung red to your cheeks as you tugged at his belt that kept you stuck to the bed, begging to be untied and atleast finish yourself if he wasn't gonna do it for you.
you sighed in relief as he took off his shirt and pants, throwing them to the side and pulling down his boxers just enough so his dick would pop out. "i'm gonna put all of my babies inside of your pathetic cunt." he growled, eyeing down your naked body like a hungry wolf.
he pushed his dick into your pussy, already thrusting in and out at a brutal pace. you cried out, back arched. he admired how your eyes rolled back and how your beautiful voice was chanting his name. he messily played with your clit as he pounded in and out of you, the bed banging against the wall.
you felt the knot in your stomach being brung back once again, tears of pleasure flowed out of your eyes. he straddled your hips, nails plunged into your sides, enough to break skin. you tried to grip onto something even with your hands tied, clenching on his dick.
"fuck fuck fuck fuck- i'm coming, please let me cum." you begged. he looked at you for a second, as if he was making a decision. then he picked up his pace, going faster than before. you cried out in pleasure, a wave of ecstasy washing over you as you came around his cock.
you felt his hips stutter, his pace became slower and sloppy. he wrapped his hand around your throat, leaning over you while playing with your tits. you bit your lip, still riding out your high. his thrusting sped up, then came to a stop. you felt him release inside of you. "fuck, your gonna look so pretty with my babies growing inside of you." he told you behind clenched teeth, roughly caressing your cheek.
"i don't wanna see you acting like that with another guy again." he said, about to unbuckle your wrists. you scoffed in annoyance.
"i asked you out and you said no, that's your fucking problem." the sexual tension was still there, but you could see rage on his face.
"your cunt belongs to me, you belong to me." he growled, before he roughly took ahold of your face and connected his lips with yours. his hands creeped down back to your pussy, playing with your clit. you tried to speak, to tell him that you were still sensitive. but it was muffled as he aggresively made out with you. he untied your hands, leaving them free to roam all across his body. you traced his muscles with your fingers, caressing every scar.
eventually you guys stopped eating at eachothers faces, and he laid down on the bed. you held him close to you, the room still smelled like sex. he pulled his boxers back up and pulled the sheets over both of you, kissing your forehead.
you laid there, your body sore. slowly, you began to drift away and fall asleep, head on his chest.
its not proofread so sorry if i made any mistakes. another post is coming otw! ♡
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daily reflection: nov. 16th ❤︎
good morning lovely friends! here is what i accomplished and what i could have improved today, to hold myself accountable. it was really effective for me to know that i had posted my goals list on tumblr yesterday where others could see it; whenever i felt like giving in to my adhd brain that tells me that tasks are to be feared, i would simply remember that i had kind folks online who were interested in seeing me succeed hehe, it helped me so much! here is my first day ❤︎
accomplishments:
i completed all of my cleaning goals and more! it turned into a deeper clean than i thought it would be which felt really nice (and is usually how it goes once i get cleaning). it's so lovely to be able to start fresh with a clean working and sleeping space; it's so much easier to feel inspired, be productive, and take care of yourself when your environment is as ready for you as you are for it!
i wasn't going to complete all of my texting and calling tasks, BUT I DID! these types of tasks are the hardest for me to get done because i have pretty intense social anxiety and rejection sensitive dysphoria, and communicating with others both online and offline takes a lot of mental preparation and energy for me. but i did it, and i am so, so proud of myself! in fact...
self-compassion:
not only did i accomplish my original communication goals, i also ended up replying to two friends i hadn't seen in a long time, even though i was anxious! both of them were at my sister's show last night and i was so surprised to see them and a couple of other friends that i had to go have a bathroom cry from the anxiety lol. i had so many emotions coming up; the first was sadness and shame seeing that they had all come in a group together and that i wasn't with them. i joined them two seconds after i saw everyone, but the sadness was still there because i was positive they would have invited me into the group earlier if i had been less isolated this last year, which is where the guilt came in. i realized i had been isolating from my friends for so long out of fear that i wasn't wanted, didn't provide anything to them, and that maybe i didn't have people i liked being around after all, but that is so, so far from the truth; i do have friends who love me and who i love, and all of them were so loving, so kind, and actually sent me messages after the show telling me how much they loved me and how happy they were to see me! it made me cryyyy and feel so many feelings. i have plans to see them next week, and i actually feel like i'm overcoming my isolation era at long last; i'm really proud of myself for having self-compassion and using tools i've learned in therapy to better my life! :')
my next step is to learn more about and overcome this shame i have around letting my friends love me for who i am; the only way to learn more about it is to actually make plans to see friends and be vulnerable; wish me luck 😭💗
improvements to make:
as for my other tasks; i cleaned out one of my emails, but i have so many email accounts that it felt a little bit lacklustre to call that an accomplishment. today i'd like to break down how big the task of consolidating my digital life will actually be so that i can take measurable and consistent steps towards completing my goal (writing that sentence is baffling me right now - bunny from a few days ago never would have realized how much writing out her goals could help her in being less afraid of them! this feels like a huge accomplishment for my adhd brain!)
today felt like a really successful day, and i'm super proud of myself! this was only the beginning of what i actually want to accomplish in a day, but it was such a great way to try it out. i'm excited to see where this journey takes me and how these daily checklists and reflections will affect my productivity; they already have helped so much! if you've made it to the end of this, thank you for taking the time to read about my day, it means so much to me! lets try our best to have another successful day! ❤︎
#bunny's daily diary ✨💕🌷#becoming that girl#dream girl#dream life#girlblogging#glow up#it girl#productivity#that girl#pink pilates girl#pink pilates princess#clean girl#self improvement#self care
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I'm sure someone has asked already but there's no harm in asking this question again, I was wondering how do you plot out your drawings? Like your proportions and stuff? Because I have never been able to get proportions done very easily, the head is always too small for the shoulders, arms aren't the right length, torso is too long/short, ect ect. Do you have any advice to help with this? Thank you :) 💜
Hey! Okay, I'll start with saying that I'm not a qualified art teacher and everything I say are just things I've noticed over the years of drawing myself and thus can only share things that worked for me personally ✌️✨
I use head to measure the height of everything and make the width whatever I feel looks good 😅 The classic art anatomy teaches us that perfect human's height is 8 heads and legs take exactly half of it. I rarely stick to that model tbh, I prefer to draw in an even more stylized way, so I usually make legs a bit longer (making it 8.5 or even 9+ heads total) and head just a biiit bigger. Still, I started from classics and I believe it's much easier to learn it first, so I drew the 8 heads model for a better demonstration:
I've developed a little checklist of the most important proportions; usually if those conditions are met, the whole figure looks convincing enough to me.
Head + torso is 4 heads;
Elbows and waist are relatively on the same line;
Open palm is the same length as the face (head minus hairline);
Arm length ends a bit higher than half of the hip;
Knees are located at the middle of legs length minus feet.
Okay, it looks really easy for a frontal view of a standing still figure, but what about more complicated poses? My suggestion is to measure the stick figure inside the body (not forgetting about the perspective distortion though). Take the "spine" and the least bent leg to check everything, then make sure both legs are the same length.
Note that these measurements don't need to be exact as if made with a ruler! We aren't doing blueprints here. If you don't trust your eye, then try training it, whenever you have a free minute: just draw a long line and try to divide it into equal parts. Or draw a long line with many short lines of the same length; kinda like a dashline, but with no gaps.
Also, I think it's important to remember that measurements and proportions are cool, useful and make your life a lot easier, but often you may need to bend them for the final drawing to look good. And obviously, people come in many shapes and heights, so I suggest taking these classical measurements as a cheatsheet to draw a good standard stick figure, which you can shape into whatever you want later. The 8 heads canon isn't realistic anyway, it originated in Ancient Egypt and Greece and was used for art needs specifically (mainly sculpture iirc). It represents an idealized view of a human figure already, so no harm in changing it a bit further I think!
Art doesn't really need to be anatomically correct, it just has to look like it is.
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So at my workplace I (f26) have this employee (m29) who's a part of the management team. He is obviously disabled in some way, but doesn't feel comfortable sharing. Which is fine, no one treats him differently. He just has problems speaking sometimes and is forgetful. However he refuses to tell us any accomodations that would help him thrive better.
The problem is that he doesn't do his work, and whenever we ask him what happened he always claims he lost track of time or that he forgot. We are trying everything. We made a checklist everyone has to do because he said it would help, but he just signs off on stuff without doing and says he forgot. We've tried to help him set alarms to remind him to do stuff, but he turns them off. This has resulted in some pretty serious issues in the past that only impact the people in the next shift, so he doesn't seem to care much.
It's getting to the point where none of his co-workers or the employees who work below him want to work a shift with him. Especially because he doesn't have any sense of boundaries and makes inappropriate jokes, like the other day he asked a staff member if they have bipolar disorder bc "you sound annoyed when you speak to me and you don't sound like that with other people." And I also hate working with him because he just talks all day and doesn't do anything. He also has an issue with women and thinks he's more qualified than me, both because he's older than me, and because he's a man. But because of that he tends to never listen to my advice, and when I tell him he's not doing his job he tells me I'm nagging him like his mother.
He also seems to enjoy getting scolded for not doing his work cause I try to understand whats happening and how we can help him succeed, and he told me the other day that it's basically therapy for him. So I also kinda wonder if he's doing it on purpose, but it's causing real problems, and then he doesn't even use the suggestions I give him.
WIBTA if I asked him to step down? My boss thinks he could still improve but it's been over a year already, and he's doing less than the staff and getting paid more. And it's rubbing the staff and the leadership teams the wrong way because they feel like they have to pick up his slack and do more work.
What are these acronyms?
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I wish Dazai's entrance exam wasn't messed up by the anime.
But not for the reasons you might think.
See I watched the Anime first and I love these episodes.
Is it incredibly confusing, yes. Absolutely, I got no idea what was going on and it was definitely rushed.
But I hold it soo dear to my heart.
I love seeing Kunikida, Dazai and Atsushi all on a mission together.
Dazai pulling his usual shit. Kunikida being annoyed at him and trying to stay on task. While Atsushi is doing his best and very confused.
The dub of this is hilarious.
"What's your take on the situation Dazai?" "I think she's sexy as hell."
"So play dead you dog."
Kunikida's breakdown at the end, haunting. I absolutely love it, I already love Kunikida and this mini arc just hammered that home.
Seeing the trust Kunikida and Dazai have for each other, the way they fight constantly and than on a dime are a perfect team.
Love it.
That slow mo shot off them switching places, that smirk at the other.
Screaming.
Again, storyline lost me and it took a while and looking up stuff to figure our what happened.
But I didn't care too much because I was having fun.
And it sucks that this was done wrong, because I love those episodes so much. Whenever I think back on what made me truly fall in love Bsd with, it's this.
It's Dazai telling Kunikida all the victims had glasses and it's finally his time to shine.
It's Atsushi covered in bandages asking Kunikida for help because Dazai's lost it and Kunikida just giving up on them both.
Dazai and Atsushi judging Kunikida's ideal women checklist.
Akutugawa telling Kunikida he's a good partner for Dazai and seeing exactly why.
I haven't read Dazai's entrance exam. I know I'll probably enjoy it.
But I hope it doesn't make me hate these episodes.
I think it'll be like how I watched and loved Danganronpa: the Animation.... and than heard how much the Danganronpa fandom hates the anime.
And got told you need to play the game because otherwise it's all wrong and all that.
I watched a let's play and I definitely like em both. Does a lot of stuff make sense and hit harder by seeing the game, absolutely.
But did I still gain something and enjoy the anime for what it was.
Absolutely.
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Hi! Sorry for all the notification spamming, I just really really adore your art & the way you draw characters. It's so cool how recognizable all the characters you draw are, like their features/proportions/style idk its amazing. Do you have any tips for how to make a character consistently recognizable in drawings? Also, methinks Tim as Stray would be so much fun in a TimKon relationship, would you maybe pretty please consider doodling a bit of what you think that would look like?
Your brain is galaxy sized, your art is fantastic, and I hope you have a wonderful day<3
Ty! I’m just going to answer your first question, even though you asked forever ago 😭 I’ve drawn stray Tim before but we’ll see if I’m up for drawing it again
Anyways, as for making characters consistently recognizable, I think it helps to make character sheets.
Using my ocs for example, when I redesigned Rolin in my new style, I knew I wanted to have a very Shapey look, so I’d write notes on things such as: how the cheek should curve, what the nose shape is like or how many Fronds in his hair he should have lol
As you can see, I even have arrows indicating the motion of the lines. If you’ve seen some of my posts of my redesigns for the dc characters, sometimes you can see notes in them too. Sometimes I write them, and sometimes I just catalogue the set of “rules” I create for a character in my head.
So yeah, for further example, I knew keiko had to have softer shapes to contrast her with rolin’s personality. I can’t find it, but I have a page in my sketchbook just working out the shape of her hair, which was initially supposed to resemble a butterfly 🦋 but then I made it have boxy angles. Whenever I draw them, I guess I go through their Individual checklists in my head.
Like for rolin:
-more sharp eyes, in an almond like shape. Check
-cheek is curved but “steeper” and leads to a somewhat sharper chin. check
- I usually have to redo the nose a lot but once it’s in the right spot for me I check that off ig
Or for keiko:
- rounder, bigger, more oval like eyes. Check
- hair bangs should start a little to the left of the middle of her forehead line, then to the edge of her ear. Check
- her cheeks should be squishy and round, and she should have a smaller face with her features more closer together. Check
And so on and so on, and the character sheets help because then you get into the practice of doing those same lines over and over, and at different angles or expressions. So even though I want to stretch their face as they contort their facial expressions, I still follow the same structure and adjust accordingly to keep their form, if that makes sense, I’m not perfect at it but I like to think my designs are at least distinct from one another and consistently recognizable
And this is a recent example, which I haven’t posted on tumblr yet bc I have yet to color it, but this is me trying to explore barts design and making sure I could still make it look On Model despite the different facial expressions.
So in summary my strategy would be to
1. Sketch and explore the character design, write notes and study what lines or elements work or don’t work
2. Create a list or repository of the essential elements or a set of steps to recreate the same design
3. Practice and make a sheet where all you do is actually recreate that design over and over again, until your hand can just do it without your brain having to recall the steps one by one , if that makes sense
Of course, I like to redesign all the time as well but I try to at least capture the character’s essence 😗
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hello! may i request valentine's day with kaeya? 💕💕
bc i dont wanna post this too late im posting it pretty quickly!! i was gonna do more of a fic but ive got a lot of work to do so!! just doing this hc/drabble format helps me mitigate the time it normally would - it's also going to be posted at not my normal time for the same reason !!! this is actually pretty long but!! it is only lightly proofread and will be read over properly later!! there is a Valentines Day Crisis i am going to go resolve but!! i hope yall have a good day <3
Valentine's day is...a little stressful for Kaeya. He's not too sure what he wants to do for you, sure that even if he were to take the planets out of the solar system it still wouldn't be enough to prove to you just how much he loves you. Buying gifts is also hard since he buys you so many little trinkets whenever he spots something that reminds him of you.
Ultimately, he decides to put himself out of his comfort zone, inviting you over for a homecooked meal, complete with a few courses and a handmade dessert. It took him forever to learn how to make it, cramming in cooking lessons between his patrols and spending time with you but it's all worth it to see you smile.
The preparations for this special holiday began well before, Kaeya making sure that not a single thing was out of place. Everything was going to be the epitome of perfection, having everything prepared down to the placement of cutlery on the table.
It wasn't within his nature to be so precisewhen it came to doing anything with you, loving the look on your face as he acted spontaneously, but this was something he did not want to risk.
Kaeya takes a deep breath when he hears your knock on the door, running through his mental checklist one more time before finally letting you into his home. The smile you wear is so bright he doesn't think he needs the lights of the candles to brighten up the room. No, just your presence was enough.
"How are you?" you greet, pulling him in for a kiss that he happily returns.
"I'm doing alright," he replies, clearing his throat to try and eliminate the last minute nerves.
"Much better now that you're here."
"Oh, as if I haven't heard that one before," you roll your eyes, following after him as he leads you to his dining room.
Already, you can see the beginnigs of a lavish meal being put doiwn, about to sit when he interrupts your motions and pulls out the chair for you. You chuckle a little, entertained by this extra chivalrous knight persona he was wearing today.
"How kind of you sir," you joke, making him laugh softly in kind.
"Well, only thebest for the love of my life, don't you think?" he says softly, making your heart flutter a little.
"It is Valentine's after all, and just asking you in a grandiose way wasn't enough for me."
You think back to how he asked you, remembering the giant bouquet he insisted on buying and the lovely little poem he wrote and attached to the flowers.
As you ponder, you feel him press a kiss to your cheek, looking up at him adoringly.
"Have I told you I love you?" you say dreamily, making his hear melt.
"Yes, you have," he replies, sitting you down and helping serve your meal.
You didn't know what else to expect after dinner. The two of you were a little tired from your daily routine anyway, finding the time today to spend together to be enough for you. Maybe another day you can make a grand spectacle of it but not right now.
Instead, you focus your attention on returning his lavish attention and flirting with him, loving the way he averts his gaze when your sweetened words are too much for him to handle. However, he retaliates by upping the ante, both of you caught in some battle of affection. That comes to an end.
"Dessert is served," Kaeya says proudly, brandishing a plate of chocolates he made himself. Your eyes go wide, the intricate looking snowflakes decorated prettily on the plate making you gasp.
"Kaeya! This looks incredible. You made these?"
"All by myself," he huffs, taking one off and bringing it to your lips.
"Here, give it a taste."
You take a bite, happily chewing when you reach a creamy center. He can't look any happier you think, practically vibrating as he watches your reaction.
"Well? What do you think? Good?"
"It's amazing! I can't believe you did all this!"
"Anything for my beloved," he replies, taking a piece for himself.
You suddenly remember that your chocolates are definitely not up to par, simply a package you bought. That's not to say they weren't nice - they just paled in comparison severely when it came to your boyfriend's efforts.
"Well? What about mine?"
He pulls you into his chest by your waist, looking at you expectantly.
"You were carrying a bag when you came in here and I can only assume it's filled with sweets for me."
"Well...yes," you say hesitantly, pushing against his chest slightly.
"Then? Won't you give it to me?"
"I could, but they're not as good as yours," you mutter, fiddling with your hands.
"And?" he asks again.
"You still want them?" you say, surprised. "They're not that great Kaeya."
"They come from you, so as far as I'm concerned they're amazing. Is that not good enough for you?" he pouts again, making you sigh and get the package.
He was right. He didn't really care where they were from as long as they came from you. Honestly, you probably could have given him a rock and he would have reacted just as happily, hugging you tightly and telling you how this was the best day ever.
You couldn't help but laugh at his antics, hugging him close as you planned how to make it up to him next year.
#kaeya x reader#kaeya fluff#kaeya alberich x reader#genshin impact#genshin x reader#genshin impact fanfic
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Writing A Story Part 2: So... What To Do With A First Draft?
Well, What Is The Importance Of A First Draft?
Hey Zeeba!
Oh, a first draft is really important! You can't just go out there and write anything and then post it.
...Well, you can, but like, it would be way better quality if you did write a first draft first.
I'm not telling anyone to write in a specific way, this is just my experience and research! I hope it helps you.
* * *
You start your writing process:
Like they say, starting is the most essential yet challenging aspect of any project – including writing.
I want you to dive in without nay research. Writing down everything that comes to your mind creates a pattern you can follow as you proceed.
The ideas you type will lack quality in punctuation, grammar or presentation. However, when you actually write them down, you can say that your writing process has begun.
2. It lets your creativity do it's job.
When you know your writing is allowed to look its worst as a rough draft, you become willing to give your creativity free rein.
You become free to explore characters and writing styles because you understand that the planned book or content can take a different turn in the course of the writing refinement.
As a writer with a rough draft, it is okay to make mistakes. You should make mistakes, actually. It feels fantastic when you go back and fix them the next day or hour.
3. You can feel and touch your ideas.
With a rough draft in your hands, you have a better understanding of your ideas: what to add or remove, how to proceed, if you should follow the structured outline or create a new one.
The story may even change totally because you are now more aware of better ways to present your idea.
Creating drafts will help you visualize your book, article or fanfic, and understand how much more work you still need to do.
You can also have a beta [if you write fanfics] or an editor for your story! Someone with a fresh point of view. If you want, I'll even be ready to beta-read something for you! It's fun.
_____________________________________________________________
Okay fine, A First Draft Is Important, But... How Can I Exactly Write A First Draft?
Ok, here is a checklist of everything that I do in a first draft!
Obviously, things are gonna be a little different for you guys, but I think my methods would be a good starting point for you.
I've learned these things from experience, and I know that you might be like,
'Why does writing a first draft need to be this complicated?' but the act of writing itself is incredibly hard for a lot of writers out there. And I wish to help you with that!
1- Listen To Music:
I usually do this a day before writing, or a few hours before it.
Music inspires me a lot, and it is a big part of my life and my writing process.
Scenes flow to my head easily, and my mind feels free to explore different scenarios and options with the sound of the beats in my head.
Whenever I write fanfics, I walk and listen to music for a few hours before doing so. It helps my brain think: I'm not sure if this is scientifically proven, but it helps me a lot!
2- Write Everything Down On Paper:
I type my fics and stories on a computer, but I always enjoy writing an outline or rough ideas or literally anything that comes to my mind on a scrap of paper.
I might doodle, and I might write some sentences. It eventually helps me in the long run, but I totally get it if that's not your thing!
3- Get Infront Of The Computer:
I sit in front of my laptop, munch on an apple and think about what I'm gonna write.
Imagine scenes, characters, anything. Just it Infront of the laptop and stare at the empty google document to get myself emotionally ready.
4- Write Sentences, Not Paragraphs:
Write the beginning of sentences, not the actual paragraph. Like, Write something like this:
He stared out of the window.
The sky was bright.
He bit his lip.
5- Add To The Sentences:
Then, add to the sentences in a way that doesn't make you stressed out. Make it a simple rough draft, baby!
He stared out of the window. His face was ashen with fear, and he knew what was about to come.
The sky was bright. He knew it would be unbelievable to anyone he said this to, but it wouldn't be so clear and bright after tonight.
He bit his lip. He wished he could will the fear away, but it was not possible.
6- Write Anything That Comes To Your Mind:
The right order? Who the fuck cares.
Write anything that comes to your mind, anything. Just write the whole thing in under an hour and get away from your computer.
7- Go back the next day and finish everything up. Don't be ashamed of anything you've written, they were meant to be terrible pieces of writing! Your finished draft is much better
_____________________________________________________________
What Are Some Dos And Don'ts Of Writing A First Draft?
Again, my opinions and experiences, and other people's experiences pulled into this Article! I hope this works for you:
DO:
Just Write.
Many writers make the mistake of revising their work as they go—fine-tuning each sentence and reorganizing thoughts at every step.
Leave in typos and misspellings. Allow yourself to ramble and write nonsense. Go on tangents. You may be surprised with where they take you.
Keep an Open Mind.
Remember that often the end result of an author’s work hardly resembles their original intentions at all.
While your first ideas for your book may be wonderful, try not to get overly attached to that initial vision.
I write a bunch of things that don't even make it to my AO3 account to get published, they just get used in another story. It's okay! It's great actually.
Explore your options.
Think of revision exactly how it sounds, as re-vision—envisioning again. Reflect on your original goals for the book.
Then, take a close look at the pieces you have and discover how they can be manipulated; to either reinforce or improve that original vision.
Consider what new directions you might take.
Trust your instincts.
Write as many drafts as it takes for you to feel your book is complete. Generally speaking, the more revisions you go through, the more organized your ideas will become and the clearer your message will be.
However: Just because revision is important doesn't mean you’ll have to revise everything. Trust your writing and your voice, but be honest with yourself about what’s not working and what could be made better.
Be thorough.
This is the time to delve into the technical details. Comb your writing with comma splices, track down typos, and break out your dictionary.
.***.
DON'T:
Don't Worry About People:
What would my friends think if I tell them I’m a writer and then show them…this piece of garbage? What would my mother say? What would Mrs. Mcwhatever who I have never spoken to think when she sees this?
The good news is, I don’t need to worry about any of that.
You don't have to show your first draft to anyone, babe.
When I write my first draft, it can be as secret as I want it to be. And I never let anyone read a draft as I’m writing it. When it comes to novels, that sometimes means that no one can even look at it for about a year until it’s finished.
You're the one in charge. Don't worry about what people think.
Don't Write the First Draft for others
This may sound selfish at first, but the reason I first start writing a draft is because I came across an idea that I wanted to explore for myself, and only for myself.
Yeah, I see a prompt online and get excited, but that's because I wanna see where I take this story idea.
It’s not so much the destination as it is the journey that excites me.
Of course, once the draft has passed from the first draft stage to the revision stage, it’s important [if you want] to think about ideas that others have given you or to look at the story from an angle that you would never have thought of before.
As an example, doing multiple revisions can become a slog if the main character only knows what you know.
It’s fun to do research, and start incorporating different things into your story. But for the first draft, this is all you really need to worry about: Does this story excite me, the one whose writing it?
Don’t Think About It Too Much
Those who swear by writing with an outline will tell you that you can’t start even a rough draft without some sort of guideline.
And those who prefer to fly by the seat of their pants will say that outlines are a nuisance to society. I recommend finding someplace in between. I’ve had draft that went well without any sort of outline and drafts that were never finished when I had a step-by-step guide, and vice versa. It all depends on the story and on you.
But you don't have to think about that right now, when your writing the first draft, Zeeba.
You Don't Have To Know Where You're Going.
Hey! I hope that you enjoyed reading this, and that it helped you with your writing!
I'm still learning a lot of things, what with being a new fanfic writer and all, and this is going to be a big archive of the tips, the tricks and the hacks that helped me through my writing journey!
Again, let's all write with Gore <3
#fanfic writing things#fanfiction#how to write#how to write a novel#writing advice#writing problems#writing is hard#writing stuff#writing tips#writing help#first drafts
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You Can't Erase Me
One Piece fanfic, part 8
Previous parts are in my pinned masterlist.
A woman enslaved by the celestial dragons is found by a man with red hair. Angst and comedy ensues. (Y'all I SWEAR the funny stuff will come soon, I have so many ideas for shenanigans with the crew (Shanks) but I can't skip over the other stuff :/)
A/N: Y'all know the drill. Also certain foods not technically canon in One Piece exist now because I said so.
TW: discussion of trauma, medication withdrawal symptoms, going to the optometrist, self-deprecating language, mc gets made fun of by 8th graders, general angst
A/N: Gave up on the dash line divider thing cause it looks funny on mobile. But I digress.
Enjoy something a little more wholesome:)
It had been a week since Shanks and Hongo had sat me down, and a couple of days since my last episode. Hongo's theory that human touch could help had been correct, and now I was able to get some small amount of sleep while hanging onto some crew member's arm or leg.
It seemed that Benn felt guilty over our spat, as he was the one who offered up a limb most often. He'd tell me stories of the crew's journeys, explain different things about pirates, marines, or anything else I couldn't remember. I learned about different crews, the warlords, and different countries along the Grand Line.
It was also Benn that told me about the One Piece, and while he'd mentioned that Shanks had been on the crew of the late King of the Pirates, he never gave me any details, saying it was up to said captain to share that story.
Hongo kept me company too, although it was in part because he wanted to make sure I was eating and drinking plenty. It was a bit of comfort to hear him explain how my health was progressing, however. Yasopp, unlike Shanks, was good at making me laugh, and often made jokes about the crew to keep me in good spirits.
I probably could have written an essay or two on his son; when he wasn't talking about his own crew, Yasopp would excitedly tell me more about Usopp's adventures with his own crew. Usopp's crew, the Straw Hat Pirates, was a common name thrown around the Red Force, and Shanks loved telling me stories about their captain, Luffy. He especially liked telling me (bragging) about how he saved the kid from sea king that had then eaten his arm.
While I was grateful for the efforts of the crew, I couldn't squash any of the guilt that often bubbled in my gut. I felt like a chore, some kind of burden or part of some checklist they had to make themselves do. Every bump or lurch of the ship made my skin crawl, thinking that we'd made it to an island and they were going to finally be rid of me. I couldn't get it out of my head that whenever the door to the medbay was shut, every one of them complained about how annoying or whiny I was, and how they didn't understand why they had to take care of some girl that they didn't even want in the first place.
They didn't ask for someone that screamed all night, they didn't ask for someone who couldn't eat without it all coming back up. They didn't even ask for someone quiet and unassuming - without another choice, they just let me stay on board, and I'd caused problems ever since. I saw it in the way Hongo's brow twitched when I puked up my lunch again or the way Benn's jaw clenched when I woke him up at night.
Hongo said every now and then that no one on the ship minded me being there, and that they'd much rather help me than throw me out, but I knew that wasn't true. On the rare occasion I made it outside, no one outside of the senior officers wanted to be near me. I was sure the only reason anyone helped me was because they took pity on me, like I was some stray dog that didn't know any better.
At least a dog was cute.
-----
Things got better after I was able to eat, stand, and walk around without vomiting everywhere. The stomachaches hadn't ceased, and most of the time I'd have to sit down from the way my gut constantly twisted, but everything stayed where it was supposed to.
It also turned out Hongo did have a sense of humor after all, because there was a list tacked up on the medbay wall of any foods that upset me- and often those things were very specific.
Chocolate
Too much cheese (don't ask why we have cheese)
Sea king meat on a Thursday night after listening to Shanks sing
Anything past Benn's spice tolerance level (low)
Pop-Tarts - what even are these and why did Roux buy them
PB&J sandwiches, especially when she eats three of them
Homemade mac and cheese (????)
Fried chicken unless immediately followed up with fruit
And at the very end, in Shanks's messy (drunk) handwriting-
pussy>:)
There was also a list of things I could eat without little to no symptoms, and some of them were just as confusing.
Sushi, even raw
Canned Spaghettios - another Roux purchase, it doesn't even count as pasta, I swear this crew is INCOMPETENT
Boxed mac and cheese in small amounts
Copious amounts of chicken alfredo, WITHOUT garlic bread
And Yasopp's addition-
ATE UP Shanks's shorts, NO CRUMBS
As many times as Hongo tried to remove their additions to the lists, both the captain and the sniper would either rewrite what was already their, or in Shanks's case, write something worse. After I evidently couldn't eat "used pirate ass", the doctor just left it alone. Part of me wished he'd left it something a little less gross, like "Shanks's left arm".
----
We'd docked at a bustling island, and I could feel the ship occasionally shifting as the wind changed. I was holed up in one of the storage rooms, and having tried and failed to climb up into the rafters, I was curled up in a corner, keeping in the shadows. My hope was that if the crew never saw me before we left, they wouldn't find some place to leave me ashore. My newly returned hearing proved to be quite useful in times like this, and it wasn't hard for me learn how to pinpoint who was moving around outside the door or above me. I'd hidden like this a few times before, and no one had seemed bothered enough to look for me. I even almost relaxed, feeling confident in my ability to go unnoticed, when-
"Oi, girlie!" Hongo's voice echoed. "I need ya to come with me on shore!"
Fuck.
I stayed silent, trying my damnest to stay in the shadows of the corner, begging him in my head to just change his mind, that I wasn't going to be trouble any more.
"Come on, I want to get there sooner than rather than later."
Tears pricked the corners of my eyes. Was he that desperate to be rid of me?
"She's in the closet to the right, back left corner." Benn. A tear snuck down my cheek and landed with a soft plat onto the floor. I thought we'd made up. I thought he liked me.
There was a soft knock on the door. I stayed silent.
"I'm coming in, girlie."
Hongo pushed his way through the door and seemed to strain to look through the shadows in my corner.
"Damn, Jett, you're good at that disappearing act. The only ones who can tell where the hell you are are Benn and Shanks." He yawned, stretching some of the ache form his arms before he continued. "Alrighty, you're coming with me today to get some fresh air and-"
"Are you going to get rid of me?" I blurted.
Hongo stared at me like I had asked him to kiss Shanks on the mouth.
"What? No-" his brow furrowed, and his jaw clenched. "Did someone say something to you?"
"No," I said quickly, "I just thought that since- I-I've been causing so much trouble-"
"I'm going to stop you right there, girlie." He walked closer to me, squinting in the dim light. "No one here thinks you're too much trouble. You're someone who needed help and we wanted to give it to you. We want to be here for you because you don't seem to have anyone else, and we like you; it isn't because we just feel bad now and we'll dump you when we get bored or annoyed."
He held out a hand, waiting patiently for me to take it.
"No matter how many times you decide to upchuck Roux's shit cooking, or how many times you wake me up screaming like you'd seen Lime naked."
As much as part of me was screaming not to believe him, and to run and hide somewhere else, I laughed. I chose to laugh and take his hand and stand up.
"There we go," he said, patting my hand. Then he was back to his usual no-nonsense tone. "There's a pretty decent optometrist here, I'm thinking since your hearing has come back- which I want to test the limits of, by the way - that your vision should have come back by now. So, we're going to see if your problem is physical or purely neurological. Either way, it might be helpful to get you some glasses so you quit squinting at everyone."
I just nodded my head as he continued, watching some of the crew head off on their own errands. My feet felt a little unsteady as we hit the dry shore, now more accustomed to the rhythm and sway of the sea. Hongo offered his arm, but I waved it away, saying I'd be fine. He gave one of his small, rare smiles before continuing on about what Shanks had done to piss him off this week. Something about leaving his dirty sandals in the kitchen? I wasn't paying full attention.
I was wideyed at the busy city in front of us; people were everywhere and all of them seemed to be in a hurry. Most of them were yelling about various things - one couple seemed hellbent on getting a divorce because the husband's cooking was bad, a little girl was crying because her dog loved her older brother more because it didn't like its tail pulled, and someone else was talking about a warlord- there was a warlord here in the city? Did that mean trouble? Benn often said that there weren't many marine warships that would bother the Red Force, so had they sent someone more powerful after us?
I'd opened my mouth to ask Hongo when he turned to me and gestured to the large, shiny building in front of us. It was taller than it was wide, and the large red lettering on the front spelled "HOPITAL". Strange, but okay.
There was a large, red-faced man yelling at a smiling older woman at the front desk.
"We have told you, April, changing the spelling won't stop people who need a real hospital from coming in here-"
The woman, never ceasing her grin, waved us over. "Hongo, you old fart, I haven't seen you in forever!"
The man sputtered at her in indignation, clearly not having been ignored very often. "I ought to have you arrested-"
"For what, exactly?" The woman turned back toward him, her grin widening. "It doesn't say 'HOSPITAL' on my building, so you have nothing to complain about, Hank. Go bother someone else, I have an old friend to catch up with." She opened a door behind her, ushering us through, and shut the door in the man's face. I could still hear him squalling and cursing on the other side as April turned to us, her hands clasped.
"So, honey, what did you need?" Her eyes glimmered from behind her round spectacles, the bright blue irises almost transparent.
Hongo spoke. "I was hoping you could run a few tests on her. She's had-" he rubs the back of his neck and glances at me. "-a rough going of it and might have some brain damage that causes her vision problems."
"And you want me to prove that wrong, yes?"
He nodded. April sticks her hand out for me to shake, staring at me with fascination.
"It's lovely to meet you, young lady, and I'm sure this will be so much fun!" She dons a white coat, and hurredly starts opening doors, pulling out elaborate machines that get more and more comically large in size as she goes. My hand starts to sweat at the... unorthodox way this doctor ran her clinic, and wondered how close those machines were going to be getting to my eyeballs.
Hongo seemed a bit tense as well, but did his best to give me a reassuring look when he caught me looking at him. It didn't help much.
-------
An hour and a half of strange beeping, bright lights, and April telling me to 'Move your peepers this way, dear', Hongo and I were pushed out the door with a cheerful diagnosis. It didn't seem like the- whatever had been used on me had been the culprit of my most recent vision problems; I was simply 'Naturally blind!' as the doctor had excitedly told me. We had also been told to kill a couple of hours as she made my new glasses.
When she wasn't telling me to open my eyes wider than they could stretch, April had talked Hongo's ear off the entire time, evidently having known him as a doctor-in-training. I had to admit, it was funny trying to picture the gangly, nerdy Hongo she excitedly spoke of. He was a far cry from that now, having the same muscular build as most of the Red-Haired pirates, and from what I could tell, now sported no acne.
Said doctor was still a bit red-faced from that interaction as we wandered toward a small street market a few blocks over from HOPITAL.
He seemed to gather himself a bit as we drew closer, saying, "What all can you hear from over here, girlie?"
I tried to focus my hearing on the brightly-colored booths closest to us, and did my best to describe anything I heard.
"The merchant there is annoyed by his oldest. Apparently he was arrested for the-" I paused, trying to get an accurate number. "Seventh time for graffiti. And the woman buying from him isn't thrilled with the conversation." My eyes popped open. "Oh my shit, her wife is the marine that keeps catching him. Seems like she hears this story at home, too."
"Damn. You can hear all that from right here?" Hongo seemed to strain to try and listen too, but to no avail.
I hummed a mhm.
"You know, I wonder if your hearing overcompensates for your vision problems naturally, or if it's caused by your devil fruit." He seemed a little lost in thought at those prospects.
I tuned him out and focused on the booths now surrounding us, trying to catch a mention of the warlord I'd heard about earlier.
"I can't believe Shara would do that, she loves that man..."
"Are you wanting that scarf? Look, it's got a sea king tooth on the end there..."
"Look, Strawhat's bounty went up again, wonder what he did this time..."
"Woman, there is no way in hell you actually think Doflamingo is hot..." Oh, gross.
"The hottest warlord is Mihawk by far, I wonder what he's doing here..." There.
I went to tug on Hongo's sleeve, and he let out a grunt, still clearly lost in thought.
"Hongo, people are saying the warlord Mihawk is here, should we be worried?"
He seemed incredibly unbothered by this fact and shrugged. "No, the World Government isn't stupid enough to send Hawkeyes to mess with us. He's refused to fight Shanks since he lost an arm, anyway." He scratched his chin. "I wonder if he'll stay for a drink this time."
I'd heard of Mihawk and Shanks's past, but I'd gathered that the warlord barely tolerated our captain most of the time. I didn't love the fact that Shanks considered himself buddy-buddy with someone under the same government that considered me property, but I was often reassured by Benn or Shanks that he only held the title to keep from being disturbed, and often refused tasks the marines gave him.
I couldn't blame him for wanting that total freedom.
Continuing to listen to the girls' back-and-forth about which warlord they wanted to bang with mild interest, I started looking through a rack of bandanas that had caught my attention. I especially liked one with bright sunflowers on it, thinking it would look nice tied on my head to block my still partially-exposed scalp from the sun. Hongo, having noticed me eyeing it, snatched it up and bought it before I could protest.
"Pick out another one to wear out on the ship, you don't want that one getting too gritty or sweaty all the time." And he went back to looking at a few journals nearby.
He'd also bought the dark blue bandana I'd picked next, and I found myself excited to try them both on. It felt a little silly and childish to get so giddy over pieces of cloth, but I couldn't help myself as I snuck glances at the pretty colors in my bag.
We were contemplating getting Limejuice a t-shirt that said "piss is permanently in my Cheerios" when I heard giggling. It was a girl and boy, teenagers from the sound of them, and they were just far enough away behind me that I couldn't quite make out their faces.
"That's the doctor for the Red-Haired pirates, right?"
"Yeah, his name is Hon- Hongo, right?"
"Oh my God, he is so hot, look at those arms." I had to stifle a giggle of my own, and was about to whisper to Hongo that we were being watched when I heard-
"Who is that with him? You think that's his girlfriend or something?" Yeah, no.
"No way, her ass is ugly as hell, must be another crew member. I don't remember seeing her bounty poster anywhere though." What?
More giggling.
"Look at that ratchet-ass haircut, and that dumbass outfit."
Cackling, then a "Shhhhhhhhh, they'll fucking hear us."
"Wait, I saw her face earlier, her nose is so crooked, what the hell."
"And what kind of pirate is that skinny? And on a Yonko's crew?"
"Holy shit, do you think she's their who-"
My eyes watered, and I reached up to lightly touch the bridge of my nose before swallowing thickly, trying not to sniffle or let any tears fall. I tried focusing on any other sounds on the street, to the cats in the alleys nearby, to anything that could distract me from how badly my face was burning.
"Girlie? You spaced out for a minute, did you hear something?" Hongo leaned in closer and saw my face. "Jett? What's wrong? Do you feel sick-"
There was that damned giggling again, buzzing in my ears like a persistent mosquito. The two were getting closer, whispering about trying to get a peek of Hongo's ass, and was just within earshot of him when they pointed out I didn't have one.
"Oh." He straightened out, put on his "I'm going to murder Yasopp if he doesn't shut up" face, and strode over to the two. They squeaked as he got closer, and their excited grins vanished as he glared down at them.
"Did you know I've skinned grown men alive for saying nicer things than that to my crewmates?" A grin replaced his scowl, and I made a mental note to never try to make the doctor laugh. It was wider than April's, which was creepy enough, and nearly split his face in two, and his eyes nearly bugged out of his head.
The kids screamed and ran off, and I almost felt inclined to join them until Hongo turned toward me again, his face back to normal.
"What the fuck-"
He ignored my horrified expression and threw an arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer to him as we continued down the street.
"My secret weapon, girlie- the Doflamingo."
I decided to leave it at that.
------
Two hours, a long search for clothing that would fit me, and a pair of new glasses later, we were back on the ship, immediately getting harassed by our ginger captain.
"Oi, Spooky, lookie here-" he jabbered on about some bar he wanted to go to tonight, and I was thinking about laying in bed, not really paying attention.
"-and I hope you got some good digs, 'cause you're coming with us!"
Excuse me? I stared at him, waiting for him to say something else, that he was just joking and I could go.
"I'm- doing what?" I spluttered, shifting back and forth between Shanks and an approaching Benn.
"Coming with us! An old buddy of Benn owns this nice music club and I figured you could use some fresh air."
"But I just got some fresh air, and I'm tired-"
"Damn. Womp, womp. Go put some nice shit on, we're leaving after dinner."
Benn was the only one with the decency to look apologetic, but even he wasn't budging on the issue.
"You've got to get on your feet and out of that medbay at some point, lass." He smiles a bit. "This isn't one of the nasty places Shanks usually picks out, I promise you'll have some fun."
And that's how I found myself in a billowy white shirt tucked into a pair of flowy pants cinched tight at the waist. It gave the illusion that my figure was fuller than it really was- at least that's what I told myself. Nausea crawled its way into my throat, and I my face burned again thinking back to earlier that day.
Did everyone think that when they looked at me? Was I really so hideous?
Hongo had told me not to pay attention to anyone like those kids, and that I was plenty pretty, but I wouldn't be shocked if he'd said that just out of pity. I just wish he wouldn't lie to me.
I leaned forward closer to the mirror and scrunched my nose. It was crooked, like I'd broken it and it didn't quite heal correctly. I studied the bags under my eyes, and the way my cheekbones protruded just a little too much. My health had improved drastically since I'd arrived here, but I was still so scrawny and all sunken-in. My jaw clenched as I remember some of the women out today, their lips and cheeks full and dewy, eyes bright and curves- well- existing. I didn't have any sort of makeup to try and even out my skin tone; Hongo had offered to try and help but I'd had enough embarrassment for one day. Plus, it seemed stupid to have that kind of stuff on a ship.
"Spookyyyyy, dinner time!" Fucking Shanks.
I groaned and just splashed my face with water, patting it dry. The best I could do was put my new glasses on and hoped that hid the broken nose and buggish eyes well enough. The one thing I did like was the sunflower bandana I had tied carefully around my head at the base of my skull.
I grit my teeth as I emerged out on deck, ready to face whatever teasing Shanks or Yasopp were about to throw at me, or the stares I would get from the crew for my pitiful attempt at looking nice.
A low whistle greeted me from across the deck. I didn't even have to look over to know it was Shanks. I fought back the tears pricking at my eyes. Get a fucking grip, you aren't a child, you can handle-
"You look great, lass." Benn's heavy hand patted me on the shoulder before handing me a plate of steaming grilled chicken and vegetables.
At that remark I nearly vomited. Teasing I didn't particularly want, but pity was far worse.
"You feeling alright? Ya look a little green-" the damn captain again.
"Please shut up Shanks, you're already forcing me to look stupid in front of strangers tonight, at least try not to in front of the people I fucking live with." I snapped, earning a few snickers from the crew.
I wanted to slam that plate down over someone's head so damn bad, and just storm back down into my hiding place, throwing these stupid clothes I'm not pretty enough to wear overboard somewhere in between.
Benn's hand was on my shoulder again. "You don't look stupid, lass, I mean it, you look-"
"Don't." My hands shook. "Do not fucking lie to me Benn."
"I am the vice captain of one of the most dangerous crews in the Grand Line, lass. I haven't told a lie to save my own ass or anyone else's since I met this ginger jackass."
Fuck. I'd pissed him off again.
"Look," his voice was softer now, catching me off guard. "I don't know what goes on in your head, or how to live through what you have. But don't accuse us of being or doing anything we aren't. We aren't trying feed your ego or pity you."
I just swallowed and nodded, not liking the attention I'd brought to myself.
Benn settled beside me when I sat down to stab at my flavorless chicken. Fuck, I hated having stomach issues.
He started telling me about where we were going that night; a tavern run by a well-known pirate from Gol D. Roger's time. Evidently she'd retired after the Pirate King's execution, not interested in taking the One Piece for herself. I didn't understand what was so great about another old tavern, other than the history of the owner, until Benn mentioned that the former pirate was once world-renowned for her singing.
"Her music's considered a bit out of style now, but her voice is still as good as it's always been," he said, sneaking me a few pieces of spiced sea king when Hongo had his back turned. "People go to her place for dancing more than anything, but I've loved the music alone for the entire time I've been at sea."
Dancing? That caught my attention. I wasn't one for rowdiness or heavy drinking, but some dancing actually sounded fun.
AN: Sorry this one was so long, and honestly a little boring, but I needed this one to set up the next bit, which is a scene I've been planning out and looking forward to writing since I started this.
We may or may not be finally meeting our beloved goth warlord ;)
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Freedom to know yourself - the best advice you’ll ever get
I’m still figuring out the right way to be an adult and being in your 20s is weird. Everyone is at completely different stages of life and everyone is convinced they’re doing it wrong. It feels impossible.
But as someone who has been to career counselling and therapy and just about everything else I’m going to share the best piece of advice I have been given
GET TO KNOW YOURSELF
The reason you feel so indecisive about what your life should be is because you don’t know who you are yet, you’ve never given yourself the space and time to explore the different part of yourself.
I promise once you make it a habit you’ll feel the difference.
The first step for me was buying what I call my bitching journal. It’s a diary with a lock (pictured below) and has gotten a bit battered from use. It doesn’t have to look like this, it can be a file on your notes app if that’s better for you. The important thing is that it’s private, written with the intention that nobody but you read it. Then let it be a space to write all those horrible, mean, ugly thoughts and feelings you’ve repressed. It doesn’t matter what you say because it’ll never be seen. Let yourself feel safe enough to express anything you feel. don’t label anything 'bad', just let all that emotion out. Do this whenever you’re angry, it’s an excellent outlet.
The next step is asking yourself questions. There are lots of journal prompts online and those are a good start but I find the best questions come from you personally. This is especially good when you’re focusing on a goal, writing things out makes it much easier to be decisive. For example before I approach my romantic life I make a list of what I need in a relationship, what boundaries I have and things that make me feel valued. This gives me a checklist to apply to any relationship and helps me be more proactive about what I want.
I’ve been doing this religiously for a little over a year and it has definitely helped me to know and love myself.
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Guess who might have a hernia pushing into my stomach and intestines at the same time it’s me lol. God I think all the stress this past week or so has nerfed me lol. I can’t even eat what used to be, for me, a full meal (which for others is less than a full meal cause I have NEVER been able to fit all that much in my stomach to begin with) without like. Actually throwing up a bit. Like legit just burp and it’s not air coming out. Idk how people who truly stuff themselves do it like nah, if I reach close to full capacity I will eject it back out for my own health. But also whenever I have to Go Potty it’s like… so painful because it’s like my intestines are being squeezed????
Anyways. I’m prone to hernias and the stomach and bowel issues have only been like this a little more than a week so I think it’s like… just a stress hernia?? Idk can they come on from stress? Cause my stomach muscles tense up tight and I get a led feeling in my stomach when I’m stressed and I’m thinking… maybe that’s enough to shift your insides.
I’ve gone through a checklist of what this could all be lol. I’ve been like throwing up daily if I eat too much, only just enough to get that extra out, so it’s stomach def, but it’s also bowels because of bathroom issues making that clear, but it’s not allergies because I don’t have any allergy symptoms when this comes on- it’s all a big mess rn lol.
Anyone else prone to hernias and know how to help relieve them? I’m thinking muscle relaxers lol. I am prescribed to take up to two a day so it’s probably not a BAD idea. Yeah I’ll see my doc in the new year too lol, I go every 3 months. Something always crops up by that point. As stated above lol.
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I have downloaded the game but haven't opened it because i want to play it during free time. Now your blog makes me wanna start it now so i know some context of the characters 😭😭
Bcause i heard you can get free character if you play for whole 2 week straight? 🤔
Yep, that’s true! There is a daily list of things you need to do when you first start your account. If you manage to finish all of the things before the time limit is up (which is like 12 days I think) then you can get a free S-Class Sinner, which is NOX. NOX is a very useful sinner to have, as she makes the game so much easier once you get her, so I recommend logging in everyday once you activate your account! (Keep in mind you have to do this from day 1. Once you make an account, immediately begin working on the checklist so you have time)
Also, as for the characters and context of PTN, a lot of the more unique sinners have their stories locked behind limited events. But don’t worry, unlike Genshin, PTN will rerun limited events, so you get to play the events you’ve missed if you’re a later fan. (Ex. PTN recently rerunned the Dreamy Bubble event, so I got to play it for the first time as I missed it on its first run!)
Another thing is that all sinners who get released will also get reruns from time to time (with the exception of 2 limited, exclusive sinners). Whenever a new sinner is dropped, they have a banner where it increases your chances of getting them, and once that banner is up, the sinner(s) get added to the standard banner. Where you can roll for them anytime, but the chances of getting them are harder, as there’s so many S-Class sinners in the standard.
Hope this helps! PTN is one of my favorite gacha games ever, because it’s very easy to get the characters you roll for!
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Okay so I have to go to sleep, and I still have so many asks to get thru, I will leave the askbox opened for the night, and then respond tomorrow, to those that are asking a question or starting a discussion.
For all of the rest, I'm so grateful for all of the kind messages and I'll keep them in my inbox to re-read whenever I feel discouraged and like I'm not doing any good, it means so much to me that you feel helped and validated by my content and it honestly makes everything here worth it.
I'll also reblog a list of all checklists I've made, because I feel like some people might need some of them and not know they exist already. If you want to, you can request a new checklist.
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i’ve got issues with perfectionism due to my ✨many neurodivergencies✨, which makes being a leftist tricky sometimes, because my brain is telling me that if i’m not the best at infosec in the world, i am a failure. do you know any quotes or anything that might be a nice thing to fall back on when being a leftist is tiring? like a “if the situation was hopeless they wouldn’t need propaganda” sorta deal?
okay well the first thing is that whether you're a leftist or not, whether you ignore it or not, capitalism is an ongoing class war. so this is as much of a state of becoming/being as it is learning; what that means is your awareness is as much of an asset as your knowledge is. like most things in life, there is not an endpoint--so you cannot frame this as a goal to cross off or even a checklist to follow. it is a part of you that you will carry around. because at its core, your leftism needs to come from kindness, empathy, and love. there is no justice without these things. there will be no true liberation without these things.
“if the situation was hopeless they wouldn’t need propaganda” is like the tip of that idea: while true, it ignores the underlying fact that that Propaganda requires billions on billions of dollars to even function. Every. Single Year. There is quite literally no limit to the amount of money that capitalists would spend on anticommunist and revisionist propaganda in order to stop us from agitating against them. Nothing they wouldn't do to prevent actual, lasting change from happening.
In a way, that's fucking pathetic! How shitty of an existence that must be. They even understand how precarious their position is... we don't really see coverage about this, but the aristocrats and capitalists have admitted they're scared--especially about a climate collapse that would unequivocally destroy their power structures for good. They've lived with this fear, passed it down through the generations even. How fucking pathetic is that? To curse your entire ancestry with this fear because you refuse to share? Reductive maybe, but down at the core that's what it really is right? An absolute refusal to commune with the rest of us human beings, to the detriment of our lives and everything else on this planet. That and their arbitrary system that tells themselves they're superior and special.
Living under it is fucking terrifying though, which is why leftists, revolutionaries, and other radicals have always come together through the arts and oratory, as well as celebrations of community, culture, and shared history.
There is no comprehensive list I could give you on quotes or speeches to read, nor music to listen to. I've been digging around for a couple hours now and I'm not even sure what examples to provide. There is a ton, like truly a TON of stuff out there to help. My suggestion would be to dig into your country's history of leftists, its revolutionary speeches and music, its folk music, its art and agitprop first. Then save those and come back to them whenever you need them.
If you live in the US, this would be figures like Angela Davis, Ursula K Le Guin, Eugene Debs, James Baldwin, Pete Seeger, Bill Haywood, Fred Hampton, the IWW, Murray Bookchin, David Graeber, Cesar Chavez...
Learn about the historical figures who had their leftism whitewashed like Martin Luther King Jr, Helen Keller, Harry Belafonte, Paul Robeson, Jane Fonda, Albert Einstein...
Cultivating a love for humanity as a whole instead of fostering misanthrophy is also a big thing to help combat exhaustion and burnout. I have a #humans are good actually tag that I use to help with this myself. Even reading up on anthropology can help! Cases like Shanidar I teaches us that community support and care is what helped us survive, not the individualism that capitalism preaches.
This has already been pretty long so I'll leave you with my two favorite quotes on this subject, from Angela Davis and Ursula K Le Guin respectively:
“You have to act as if it were possible to radically transform the world. And you have to do it all the time.”
"You cannot buy the Revolution. You cannot make the Revolution. You can only be the Revolution. It is in your spirit, or it is nowhere."
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