#and while I'm fine with that it is just sort of incomprehensible to me if i think about it
I'm bi, and Ed and stede are not at all bi. There is no ounce of attraction towards women between them. If they wanted those characters attracted to women, they wouldn't hesitate to show it. Ed's only had relationships with men in canon (I think they would've made Anne/Mary an ex if they wanted to make that clear) and Stede, it could not be more obvious why his marriage to Mary didn't work on any level. I have no clue what those folks were thinking. It would be funny if it wasn't frustrating.
Like truely we need to demand more from bisexual rep. Like to me it doesn't count unless they either say they're bisexual or they express attraction to more than one gender. OFMD doesn't do the first one on principle but Oluwande, Archie (I'm counting her because there was a cut scene with a Jim/Archie/Olu three way according to Vico), Jim, Anne and Spanish Jackie all express attraction to more than one gender. It's not a hard bar to meet. I'm not saying you can't have headcannons about Ed or Mary but claiming that as rep is like... Should we not demand characters that you can't pretend aren't bisexual? Should we not demand our rep be explicit?
The exclusion of Oluwande from that list felt disrespectful on multiple accounts. Like first of all, way to erase him, second of all they included Jackie and Archie who have both been into Jim and then had a man/men that they were into (I'm counting Oluwande for Archie yet again) but they didn't count Olu who was into Jim and a woman(Zheng). Which maybe I'm a mad tranny who is too sensitive to this sort of thing but it feels like, if you're doing it that way, that you might be misgendering Jim a little bit there.
I'm on board with you on Ed and Stede are not bi. Bi!Ed is a headcannon where I'm like "I don't see it but whatever" because while I do think if they wanted to make him bisexual they had opportunities they didn't take, they didn't do what they did with Stede re: a whole marriage that failed because of how gay he was and then threw a woman who he absolutely would be into if he swung that way at him and had him not just reject her but be befuddled and distressed by the very concept of being intimate with her.
And it's like, this guy(Stede) is a fictional character, so no, we haven't ruled out all women because that would be boring and a waist of time, but they are telling you he's gay as firmly as they are telling you that Jim is nonbinary. His season 1 arc is tied up in not being into women and they have more proof in season 2. Like this show is giving you the L the B the G and the T pretty explicitly but no, Mary Read, Ed and Stede are bi, Oluwande is straight, Jim's a woman, everyone is either straight or vaguely bisexual and everyone's cis and there's not a plethora of varied sexual experience on that show just the two. Sure fine whatever. Fuck me I guess.
And they sure don't do this with straight characters. I didn't see them insisting that Mary Bonnet, the other half of the fail marriage, was bisexual, frankly they didn't even argue that Zheng was bi even though she joined the polycule at the end. They just take it for granted.
And it's not that big of a deal, they're just wrong about my show in a way that's vaguely problematic as it relates to Jim and fundamentally incomprehensible as it relates to Stede's marriage and as a gay person who's not gold star I'm a little peeved at their use of the term "gay washing" to refer to a gay character having a relationship with someone of the opposite sex before coming out of the closet, but ultimately there are bigger problems it's just like. Wow, how dumb.
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On My List
1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 + 1 Masterlist
Author’s Note: I'm gonna just post part 2 now because the response has been overwhelming and also I need to ride this train until it runs outta steam, yfm?
Pairing: Steve Harrington x Eddie Munson
Description: 5 Times Steve and Eddie kiss as friends, and one time they don't.
Warnings/Tags: Everyone lives, Nobody dies, 5+1, Kissing, Fluff, Idiots to Lovers, Friends to Lovers, some pretty brief mentions for drinking, smoking, being inebriated (the gang is drunk here but nothing too bad, just in a fun way), uhhh they're gay your honor, no beta we die like Barb, vague medical issue, fainting, let me know if I missed anything?
Every Breath You Take
Two
The second time Eddie and Steve kiss it’s not really a kiss at all. Robin and Steve are working a shift at Family Video - well, trying to work at least, because Eddie’s there which means everyone’s just sort of dicking around. Steve is processing some returns while Robin and Eddie argue about some sort of incomprehensible music shit. They’re both such fucking nerds about it that it makes Steve’s head hurt hearing them discuss the rhythm vs the beat and the symbolism of the song's accompanying music videos. Steve doesn’t understand why they have to analyze everything, why they can’t just like shit.
He’s not really paying attention until he registers the panic in Robin’s voice as she suddenly pushes off the counter and says Eddie’s voice just a little too frantically. Eddie has slumped slightly forward over the counter, eyes rolled a little too far back, and not responding to her calls for him. Steve immediately jumps into action, thinking about seeing Max in an eerily similar situation, about the fits Will had when he came back. Steve grabs Eddie and lays him gently in the ground, immediately crouching over him to do CPR, not bothering to check for a pulse or breathing. Just starting compressions, counting the way he learned how while hanging out at the hospital waiting for Max and Eddie to wake up. He couldn’t just sit there, and the hospital offered free training courses in shit like this, so he went. And he’s so glad he did as he starts doing rescue breaths on Eddie, ignoring Robin’s “ohmygodohmygodohmy-“ as she struggles to remember Hopper’s number when she finally stops freaking out enough to grab the phone. It doesn’t matter though, because by the time Steve is halfway through his second set of 30, Eddie’s eyes are fluttering open and he’s breathing heavily, but just fine on his own.
“Oh thank fuc-“ Robin starts as she drops to the ground on the other side of Eddie. “Are you okay? What happened? You just-“ Robin starts rambling, panicking that this meant the worst wasn’t over.
“Robs. Give him a minute. Go grab a water bottle,” Steve softly commands, his instinct to protect and help and heal outweighing his ability to do anything else. She does as he asks, and Steve starts to help Eddie move to a sitting position. “Easy does it, man. You can keep laying on the floor for a little if you need.”
“No, no. I’m okay. Sorry. I just, uh, had a minute. It happens sometimes. Happened a lot more when I was little. Stress, ya know? Was real bad right around the time I started living with Wayne. Had a really bad couple of weeks after Bonham died, too. But since, ya know- everything, it’s been happening again.” Eddie explains, rubbing the middle of his chest where Steve had previously been pressing. Steve just nods as Robin hands him the water bottle, watching, waiting for everyone’s adrenaline to slow.
“Jesus, dude. I think you almost cracked a rib. Way to put those muscles to use,” Eddie jokes, in between sips. Steve cracks a smile, but his eyes are still filled with worry. “Thank you for trying to save my ass, but in the future, I’m just fainting. No CPR required. Just make sure I don’t hit my head on the way down,” Eddie explains.
“Sorry,” now it’s Steve’s turn to ramble. “I just went into panic mode and I didn’t even check for a pulse or-“
“Don’t sweat it.” Eddie cuts him off. “I appreciate you wanting to save my life. Again.” He adds that last part a little quieter, knocking shoulders with Harrington. As Steve helps him to his feet, he adds even quieter “You sure you didn’t just wanna plant one on me again, Big Boy?” And Robin is too busy fussing over Eddie and asking questions about his fainting and yelling at him for not warning anybody that they’re both too busy to notice the blush that creeps up Steve’s neck and the way he flexes his hands like touching Eddie hurt.
A/N: Not so fun fact! John Bonham, drummer for Led Zeppelin died in 1980 after a heavy drinking binge. This would have been absolutely devastating to a young Eddie Munson, as it was for everyone else with ears and a soul at the time.
Also, Steve does the Pride and Prejudice hand flex every time he touches Eddie. Convince me otherwise. I dare you.
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@longerhuman asked: 🕯️ haaaayyyy ….☺️ // send me 🕯️ to hear my character's inner thoughts about your character.
it's a little scary , right ? not just dazai-kun's personality , but the uncrossed , untouchable sense of distance split between them . sometimes it felt like someday , any day , all-of-the-sudden and without any generous warning , dazai would quietly turn his back and silently vanish , taking everything else with him --- their friendship . daisuke's own quiet happiness . the sense of company that could only have been born between two people , the presence of their bodies and their very own live souls . was it really that easy for some people to vanish and let go ? ( does that mean i'm still nothing , then ? have i been able to make you happy too , at all ? at least ... even by just a tiny little bit ? )
--- was that the sort of thing he wanted to ask ?
no , it wasn't , even if he didn't expect a clear or honest answer either way . what he thinks is --- even if you're lying to me , i still want to trust you . even if i can't get a clear grasp of what i'm seeing , i still want to try to reach out . anything was fine as long as dazai knew that he was there . it's just like your artwork , too . half-finished before being cruelly ( carelessly ) tossed aside , harsh and intimidating sometimes in subject or brushwork , pieces and pieces-in-progress perpetually horrifying in a raw , vulgar way that would make anybody ask why anyone would ever want to keep something like this around ...
but even then --- i really like it .
at least this was something that he could hold close to his chest and warm alone . for all of the other boy's eccentrics there was still something about dazai that seemed to know far more than daisuke could ever even imagine himself knowing . someone who might have understood him even better than he understood himself . but then , the rest . bullets and bandages and the lonely-seeming agony of someone who supposedly hated it . the sense of a dire human piece missing . there's no guarantee that dazai would ever listen were he to speak his thoughts out aloud , but daisuke thinks it all the same .
... dazai-kun , i don't know if anybody's ever told you this before , but i don't think you can put someone into debt for friendship . it wasn't how it worked . people's feelings couldn't be controlled like that , or at least not the niwa's own . what he gave , he both willingly and readily allowed . did dazai understand that ? or was it incomprehensible to someone who didn't seem to want to ever keep anything for himself , or to have anything of his own ? not even their own life ?
you'd hate me for wanting to know you more , too . daisuke was sure of that much , already capable of imagining another instantaneous outburst , the flail and whine and verbal thrashing , but it had already become something unique and precious to him . another cut into a stark canvas , another harsh brush-stroke . dazai-kun was just like that . what did it mean , then , to helplessly cherish the existence of someone who helplessly didn't want it to be cherished ? what did it mean to be sincere in the face of someone who wanted to turn away , if not tried to make him turn away with harsh words , and sometimes even harsher acts ?
i don't want to let go --- even if he had to dodge death in order to reach dazai , vaulting over carefully plotted obstacles while twisting around razor edges and bullets . as long as dazai was there at the end of every gauntlet , laughing and applauding in a way that even daisuke might have gambled to consider sincere , then he couldn't let the other down . no matter what , he had to live , if only to prove dazai wrong : i can do it . even if he wasn't any intelligent . even if he was a clumsy , no good fool otherwise . they were friends , and he'd prove it as many times as it took until someday , it might have reached dazai's heart .
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Angie is so interesting from a morality perspective because while her ideas (that the need to escape is fueling the murders and that having some sort of order will help prevent murders) were largely good, she went about them in the most fucked up way. and I love that about her! it's such a cool character type where you're like "yeah I see what you're going for there's definitely logic in— aaand your morals are fucked"
plus she makes such an excellent foil to so many characters that exploring her through a relationship (platonic or romantic or anything else) lens is super fun
*holds Angie* I just think she's neat
100%!!!! ABSOLUTELY!!!!! I WANT YOU SO BAD!!!!!!!!
I just braindead watched 2 movies in the most overstimulated autistic way so I'm really bad at wording right now forgive me if I'm incomprehensible--
Her motives and reasonings (or as I perceive them) are soooo interesting to me and it sucks that people ignore her and brush her off because she's just Annoying, like yeah she wasn't meant to be outwardly likable and was absolutely batshit, but I understand her thought process and it's just not the kind of character I see very often. Like, yeah, she is annoying, this however does absolutely zero to distract from how unique but believable her characterization is!!!!
People just want cookie cutters of their favorite popular tropes of relatably flawed characters who are wholly good and easy to read, which is fine, obviously! They're popular characters for a reason! But I find that they're the easiest to enjoy and because of this characters with genuine out of the box creative ideas and concepts get SO stomped over. Angie is fucking weird! That's the point!
No interaction with her will ever be normal and that's what's FUN!!!!
And STILL, at the end of the day, she's still a relatable human being underneath it all if you dig deep enough with your little puzzle pieces; she's soooooo mmgngngngn SHAKING HER VIOLENTLY
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(( content warning for graphic blood and mild body horror in the form of a gross, dead monster. ))
[A video is posted.]
[Play video?]
---
The video begins with quite a mess- Something almost incomprehensible, there's so much information to take in all at once. There's some chatter going on for directions, to get something that sounds like hot water muddled in the audio. There's footsteps, and vaguely gator-like, wet gurgles. There's two men bickering more clearly over something.
The two men seem to be in what looks like a spill of gel, stuck in place by it somehow. Next to them is a nightmarish lump of flesh, teeth, limbs and eyes that still vaguely seems to be noncommittally in the shape of a dumpster, and one if them seems to be stuck to another hunk of meat in the spill. It's almost dyed entirely in a mess of what looks a lot like ink, or... some sort of dark colored sauce.
"So,"
A voice calls out from behind the camera.
"Belphie found the mimic... But uh,"
"Levi?"
"Levi!"
The men stuck to the ground call out almost in synch, and the camera jolts in surprise. The two talk over each other.
"If you're taking a video of this-"
"Is this really the time? Shouldn't you-"
"I swear, I'll rip your spine out and beat you with it."
"-be helpin' out or somethin'? Gimme a break!"
"Could you relax? We just got here! You think we knew you'd be glued to the ground after being here THREE seconds earlier than the rest of us?"
Levi talks with a bit of a whine in his voice, arguing. It makes Belphie groan, and Mammon's brows angle down. Before he can retort though, Levi's voice takes on a more sincere tone.
"Belphie, are you sure you're okay?"
He doesn't get any closer, doesn't zoom in. It's hard to see details, but the figure that must be Belphie looks pretty rough. Some of his clothes are shredded, and he's clearly exhausted and singed. There's hints of red that look too much like blood here and there on his person, but he's filthy. It isn't the clearest image. He sighs wearily, rolling his head as much as he can to express his exhaustion.
"... Yeah. I'm fine. I'd be more okay if stupid over here wasn't stuck to me and looking at me like that. Can we hurry this up?"
"How was I supposed t' know what the hell was goin' on!"
"If you waited... THREE seconds," Belphie seethes, "Then you would have heard me. And anyway, don't you know ANYTHING about a mimic??? I'd figure you've seen plenty of them with your sticky fingers."
The two begin arguing, and Levi sighs a little. His hand comes up, slender and with nails painted a deep shade of purple, and gestures somewhat helplessly at them.
"Okay, while they're occupied... Belphie, I know you're mad at me now. But later on, I know you're gonna watch this, and you're gonna thank me. Probably because you'll have something to bribe Mammon with when he royally pisses you off or something, but! Um..."
Levi gets audibly stuck before the camera darts down in a blur, a flustered noise coming out of the cameraman.
"N-Nevermind. Listen, just thank me later, huh?! You're welcome!"
"Levi! What are you doing over there? Come help already."
"Ah-- C-Coming! Do you think plain water would work? Maybe I could, uh..."
There's the sound of someone adjusting their hold and running their finger noisily across the mic, and the video cuts.
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Ninja Daily: Clarity 9
Obito took a moment to wonder at how the hell Bakashi, the Kyuubi container, and his youngest living relative had managed to end up in that dreadful Fuin woman's film.
'I don't care,' he decided viciously, stuffing popcorn in his mouth in lieu of glowering at his companion. 'I absolutely do not care at all that even now, Bakashi is spiting me by contaminating perfectly banal entertainment with his stupid big head. That's fine. I'm above that.'
Hey, there was some small bit of good out of this venture, though. Aiko seemed enthralled and got caught up in the energy of the film (at least, the parts with fighting) but she didn't say, 'oh, that blond boy is probably my brother.'
"What did you think about the fight scenes?" Aiko nudged him playfully, snicking a bit of popcorn out of the nearly empty bag on his lap (which put her hand in places it definitely should not be oh god no). She barely blinked when Obito abruptly shoved the snack over to her, used to sudden movements that made no sense to her.
"What about the fight scenes?" he tried. His honest answer; 'they make me incomprehensibly angry,' would probably just raise more questions for her.
The teenager shrugged, kicking her feet up on the seat in front of her as the lights came on and the other movie-goers stood. She was getting plenty of dirty looks for her rudeness in critiquing the film right away, but seemed barely aware. "Well, they were awfully dramatic," Aiko huffed, waving a hand in front of her face. "Wasteful, too. No ninja fights like that, with all the boring 'feelings' talk and pointing and shouting out the names of their techniques. The writing was sort of bad, but at the same time it was fun." She shrugged, making a wavery 'so-so' gesture with her hand.
'No ninja fights like that,' rang in his head mockingly. Obito stifled a Tobi-giggle, swallowing. 'Ha! So there, Bakashi. Apparently, you're not even a ninja'.
That did lift his mood a bit. Aiko had a point, he decided generously.
"If you ever meet a ninja like that," he counseled gravely, "get them while they monologue. Konoha nin do that sometimes."
He actually laughed at the appalled way her jaw dropped.
'I feel better now.'
Still, they were absolutely never going to see one of these grotesquely indulgent Princess Fuin movies again.
"And here I was thinking that we were never going to get along," Aiko chirped without looking up from the blade she was sharpening. "Yet here we are, spending time together socially. Tomorrow, I expect we'll be braiding each other's hair. The day after, we'll get friendship bracelets. I want blue and yellow on mine."
Kakuzu shot her a withering look, but didn't respond. They had been sitting in somewhat pointed silence ever since Obito left on his super-secret-not-telling-Aiko-mission.
'Peachy. Just peachy keen. Getting stuck with this guy is exactly what I wanted.' Resentfully, she scraped her whetstone with just a little more force than was habitual. 'What's Obito's deal lately, anyway? I'd rather work with Zetsu than Kakuzu. He's suddenly acting like Zetsu's going to eat me whole if he leaves us alone for ten minutes.'
Lately, Obito had been just plain fucking weird. He was terribly jumpy.
'And dramatic,' she reminded herself. 'I need to talk to you when I return from this mission,' Aiko mocked internally. 'Why not talk to me now? I don't know what he's so nervous about. Obito's been acting like he's nervous about something.'
Poor love. It'd been three days since his little fit, and he didn't seem much more stable. She didn't really want to leave him alone. He was quite possibly a danger to himself.
But telling him that she was worried about him hadn't stopped him from setting off on whatever job he had in mind. If anything, Obito had just seemed oddly guilty. The next day, Kakuzu had showed up in the safehouse with a disgruntled look, apparently under the impression that he was to babysit her while Obito was gone.
Which was just silly. It was called a 'safe' house for a reason. The only people who even knew where it was were her, Obito, Kakuzu, and Zetsu.
In other words, Obito was being really weird for no apparent reason.
'It probably wouldn't hurt to humor him by keeping Kakuzu around,' she tried to convince herself. It was annoying, sure, but not harmful.
"I need to go into town," Aiko spoke up, narrowing her eyes at her finished product as she held it up to the light. She tilted it slightly, letting reflections flash. "I'd planned on going alone to pick up some product for the next trip, but I suppose I'll have to ask you to come with."
Kakuzu offered an unenthusiastic grunt in response. She didn't mind or press. He eventually spoke up unprompted.
"When?"
"Day after tomorrow," she shared idly. She tested the sharpness of her blade on a fingertip—blood welled up instantly. Aiko made a sound of satisfaction and slipped it away, reaching for another dull kunai.
"Acceptable. Your initiative does you credit," Kakuzu admitted gruffly.
'Is he… being nice to me?'
She stilled, but didn't offer a smile or turn to look at him. Aiko was gathering the impression that Kakuzu didn't like being nice. Or at least, he didn't want to think he was kind. Calling excess attention to his statement would be unnecessarily disruptive.
"Thank you," she said carelessly. "I've been trying. There's not much challenge in the legal operations that Ando-san runs. She hasn't yet summoned up the courage to talk to me about using her organization as a cover for moving narcotics."
Aiko rather doubted that the civilian would mention a damn thing, assuming she knew. Ando-san was so twitchy. And thorough about keeping Aiko away from her son, actually. Hmm. What was that about? Aiko'd never threatened her even a little. That was all Kakuzu and that was like, forever ago. Weeks. Months, actually. Silly Ando-san.
"Narcotics are profitable," Kakuzu said approvingly. "How do you acquire your stock?"
She shrugged distractedly, working on her second blade. "I've made friends with a bartender who has a lot of contacts. We have a nice thing going on where I make troublemakers disappear, and her herbalist friend in Grass hooks me up."
There was a great deal of money to be made moving illegal substances into shinobi nations, which had a lot more restrictions and border surveillance than the other countries. Military states were just so silly about little things like recreational drugs, or medicines that hadn't been made in certified facilities, or odds and ends of counter-culture. They could afford to be selective like that, because the shinobi villages were fucking loaded (and needed to be intellectually controlled in order to maintain the hegemonic status quo). The quality of living and health care for a resident of a ninja village was so far above that of the people in outlying areas that it wasn't even funny.
That meant there were a lot of people desperate to get their hands on contraband for half the price of heavily taxed goods imported from the capitals. And Grass was a rich resource without years of infrastructure that she'd have to muscle aside to make space for herself: it hadn't been that long ago that Grass had been subject to restrictive policies itself. There was a lot of money to be made and only small fry like herself jostling for it.
"How is your accounting?"
She actually paused at that and looked over. "I don't keep hard records," Aiko admitted sheepishly.
Kakuzu looked downright appalled at that. "How do you know how much money you are making? You cannot devise strategies to improve profit and productivity without data."
"I don't really know how to go about compiling that sort of information," she had to confess. If she'd ever learned, it wasn't something that had come back to her yet. She expected it would eventually, though. She was remembering a lot of things.
The man at her side was still. Dangerously still. His voice was gruffer than usual when he managed to unhinge his jaw long enough to order, "Come. I have spare accounting books. You can have a set for two Ryo."
'That is ridiculously expensive. Like, three new outfits expensive. Twenty times what the cost should be, easily.'
Aiko gaped.
"I would suggest that you acquire your own materials upon the next time that you enter a place of business," Kakuzu said archly with an expression that was almost a smile.
"We could bump our trip up to tomorrow," she said a bit weakly.
He shook his head. "No. If I am going to get any information through that skull of yours, I must begin immediately. I have time now." He started off for the house without saying a word. "This project of yours is a superior beginning to anything that the other cretins have endeavored to undertake. Failure to improve upon it through record-keeping would be a pity."
"Oh." Aiko stood and followed, a little perplexed by Kakuzu's sudden interest and helpfulness. "So," she ventured as he extracted two small blue books from a drawer in his room. "Has no one else in Akatsuki ever-"
"Taken it upon themselves to pursue a useful endeavor? No," he said shortly. "Our previous associates were all addled simpletons."
At that point, he began muttering something angry about art and hobbies that she thought it would probably be best to pretend she didn't hear.
"What's your hobby?" she prodded. "I mean, I assume smuggling is a little pedestrian for your tastes."
Kakuzu made a noncommittal sound. "I hunt bountied shinobi. When someone else has gone to the trouble of compiling convenient lists of people whose heads they would pay for, it is a simple matter to memorize their faces and keep an eye out."
Wait. People would pay for-
"That's kinda cool," Aiko noted, morbidly interested. "Do I have a bounty?"
Her companion grunted, extracting a cheap pen and stalking out to the kitchen table. "You should. You had an unofficial one when you were a member of Konoha's military. Put out by Kumo, I believe. Or perhaps Iwa. In any case, now that you've defected, it should be replaced by an official one from your country of home origin."
'I wonder how much Konoha is willing to pay for my head…'
Well. There was a way to check that.
"Those bounties… how do you get a hold of them?"
"Your information broker would probably have a copy," he said shortly. "Now, pay attention."
Talking to Sayu was a mistake. Or at least, adding the new topic was a mistake. An unsettling one that brought up things she'd really rather not consider.
'That doesn't make any sense.'
"That can't be right," Aiko said slowly, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear.
The short woman shrugged. A streak of something suspiciously like mud moved on her cheek when she made a face. "That's what I have, kid. Your bounty hasn't been updated in years. It's still in the sketchy book, too." She waved said volume about pointedly. It was indeed not the official copy that Aiko had spent the last few minutes rifling through unsuccessfully. "It's not a bad number," she admitted grudgingly. A speculative look crossed her face. "Maybe I should turn you in and pay off my debtors, eh princess?"
"Very funny," Aiko grunted. She was too preoccupied to really enjoy banter at the moment, grabbing at Sayu's wrist to hold the book still so she could read it. The information was interesting. Seal master? Since when was she a seal master? And—she already had the chakra chains? That was a laugh. She thought that she would know if she'd activated a bloodline that made her eyes get all weird and purple. Clearly, these books weren't that accurate. And huh. She trained under Hatake Kakashi? That name was awfully familiar.
Maybe he was in the book too.
Sayu pursed her lips and flipped the book around to investigate it. "It's a seriously old picture, too. Look at the geeky smile. What are you, twelve?"
"No," Aiko muttered resentfully. Still, she had to squint at the date on the edition and count under her breath to put it together. "Fourteen? That can't be right. That's not a picture of me at fourteen."
God, she hoped not, at least.
The older woman snorted. "Shouldn't you remember? This looks like an official picture."
She knew perfectly well that grinding her teeth together was a terrible habit. It took conscious effort to unglue her jaw. There was no way she was going to admit that no, she didn't remember the picture, or in fact much of anything.
Who cared? It didn't matter anyway. She knew all she needed to know.
'Yeah, just keep telling yourself that,' Aiko thought bitterly. 'That'll make the weirdness here go away.'
"Thanks." Aiko bent, using her legs to lift the box of goods she'd come to pick up. "I'll see you in a few weeks, hotstuff."
"Am I going to get my book back?" Sayu asked, bemused. "I kind of need that, for that job that I do. You know, people pay me for information and I hook them up, pass over IOU's and verify kills. It's not fancy, but it pays. We can't all be in a super-special club that buys the dango, princess."
Aiko paused for a moment, before realizing that she'd tucked the little hitlist under her belt. "Oh, sorry. Can I-can I pay you for it? I'd like to keep that."
Sayu sighed. "Two ryo," she listed unenthusiastically.
Aiko's eyebrows shot up. "Why don't you just hit me over the head and rifle through my pockets? Jeeze, I thought we were friends."
"We're not that good of friends." The older woman cracked a wry grin, tucking the cash away. "Those are hard to get a hold of, if you're a civilian."
That actually made some sense.
"You took long enough," Kakuzu said gruffly, walking as soon as she exited the dank little building.
"Sorry," she apologized absently. "I got caught u-"
"I don't care," Kakuzu sighed.
Aiko pressed her lips together, trying not to let her eyebrows shoot straight up on her brow. 'At least he can be counted on. He's predictable.'
She'd thought that Obito was predictable too. But this put a wrench in her perception. She wasn't stupid. What he'd told her… well, now it didn't add up.
'If Konoha knew I was a traitor, they would have put out a bounty for me.'
Ergo, Konoha didn't know she was a traitor. Either they were spectacularly ignorant, or they knew something she didn't. That didn't fit with what Obito had said.
Wait. Don't get emotional. Don't be hasty. Think it through. Aiko licked her lips, attempting to consider every angle.
'I don't have all the information,' Aiko knew. 'I can't rule out either extreme: that Obito was telling the complete truth, or that he was completely lying. Not without more information. I can't think of a reason that Konoha wouldn't have put out a bounty on a missing nin, but that doesn't mean there isn't one. I need more data.'
Of course, getting the needed data would be very difficult while she was being watched (and how did it just now seem suspicious that Obito hardly ever left her out of sight, and needed to know where she was, and checked up on her? For all she knew, he or Zetsu kept an eye on her whenever she went off 'alone')
'I'm an idiot. I wouldn't know. They're both much better at hiding than I am at detection, and I haven't even been looking for watchers of their caliber. And now I can't check. If they have been watching me and I just now start looking, they'll want to know what's changed. That'll lead them to Sayu.'
"Hurry up," Kakuzu graveled out. "You're falling behind."
'It'd be a little faster if you helped carry. This is what, thirty pounds? That'd be nothing to a big guy like you,' Aiko thought resentfully, her bad mood spilling over to her current companion.
She didn't bother to apologize, focusing on moving and pushing her pace a little. Her arms were shaking and in outright muscle pain by the time they returned to the safehouse. She really should take the time to catalogue what she'd just brought and store it safely.
Aiko didn't care about that at the moment, so she dropped the box on the kitchen table and went to her room, barely hearing Kakuzu mutter about moody teenagers.
She locked the door and settled on her bed, desperate to put together a picture. All the time that Obito spent training her took a somewhat sinister cast when she wondered if he intended to use her rather than use her skills. Perhaps it was pathetic, but the nuance mattered a lot to her.
Shinobi were tools, in a way, yes. Aiko didn't mind being a valuable resource for reasons other than her intrinsic value as a person. That was different from just her skills being useful.
Then again, if what he was looking for was just a useful tool, it would have been stupid to pick her. There had to be people out there who would require less investment—she'd had to be retrained in her apparent specialties of mid-range weaponry, for kami's sake. No. It wasn't just her skills Obito was interested in. It was her; it had to be her.
'I don't want to believe that Obito lied to me.' Aiko rolled over onto her side and hugged a pillow to her chest. 'Or at least, not about the important stuff. I… I don't think he did. He really does like me. We're friends. He didn't lie about that. I can't totally distrust my own perception. He definitely does enjoy spending time with me, and he wouldn't spend so much time with me if he didn't care. He'd pass me off on someone else.'
So if she kept the assumption that Obito wasn't lying about feeling friendship with her, that left her with two options to extrapolate from. A. He had formed those feelings recently, after she had joined him in recent memory. B. They had been friends before what she remembered.
'Think it through, girl,' Aiko told herself, tugging on a bit of hair. 'Does it matter which of those two things is true? If so, why, and what difference would it make to my prospective course of action.'
Her intellect told her that it mattered. If he had only come to care about her in recent months, then that meant that he hadn't cared about her at the time that she remembered 'meeting' him in the hospital. That meant that whatever he had wanted from her at that time had not been coming from a place of concern for her best interest. If he had just been tricking a sick, confused girl into coming with him, then Aiko should be frightened, or at least interested in what he wanted from her.
Whereas if he had been emotionally attached to her before she remembered meeting him, that possibility seemed much less likely.
'Is friendship the only way to look at it, when the issue is better summed as emotional attachment?' She rolled over onto her back and dug her heels into the bed, pouting unconsciously. 'He would already have been emotionally compromised if he's telling the truth about being my dad's student. That would be much easier to verify than whether or not I really was secretly meeting Obito and narking on Konoha.'
How hard would it be to figure out who Obito's sensei was? He might fork over the information, and she could cross-verify it. Student-teacher relationships were probably well-documented somewhere, and someone somewhere would be willing to accept money for handing over information that seemed innocuous enough.
She felt a little better, having decided what she would accept as evidence that Obito had been emotionally compromised before eight months ago. Assuming that panned out, she could be reasonably certain that he wouldn't hurt her and hadn't planned to.
Of course, Obito could thwart that plan by refusing to tell her about his sensei, but she doubted that. He'd had much looser lips lately, though that might be due to his instability and emotionally compromised state than trust.
Those loose lips presented another plan: he'd let the name of his teammates slip. Assuming 'Kakashi' was still alive: well, that name couldn't be common. She could look up his sensei and teammates and verify Obito's story that way.
Actually… She twisted just enough to tug the book out of her waistband and rolled onto her stomach to flip through it. Obito hadn't said anything to make her think that his old teammate had defected, so he should be in the Konoha section if he was still active. She frowned when she didn't find anything under 'Kakashi', but some bit of stubbornness caused her to keep looking until she ran into 'Sharingan no Kakashi.' She huffed.
'That sounds about right, actually. Lines up with what Obito said and collaborates why Obito isn't with Konoha anymore, in a way. He's gotten famous off of Obito's eye? That's a little depressing.'
Really famous, apparently. He looked like that actor- no, that was backwards. The cute extra in that Princess Fuin movie had definitely been modeled off of him. That kind of resemblance was not an accident.
She shrugged off the tangent about his apparent presence in pop culture for more productive lines of contemplation. There was nothing listed about Sharingan no Kakashi's teammates, but his sensei had been—Namikaze Minato, the fourth Hokage? Aiko let out a low whistle. Nice. That was her dad? Hopefully, she bent the corner and went looking, but of course there wasn't still a page for the Yondaime. He was long dead.
'That's another thing I could check,' she decided. 'If I see a picture of him, I might be able to see any family resemblance. If I look enough like him, then Obito's been telling the truth.' Aiko paused thoughtfully, biting on her lip. 'Well, at least some of it.'
Aiko felt a little better as she calmed and worked through the logic, probably more content than she should feel. She now had an idea of what she wanted to investigate and several plans for how to get that information. Finding out whether or not she'd been lied to for over half a year wouldn't be impossible. She could do it.
But… god forgive her: despite what her brain told her, she had a hard time really believing that it made a difference if Obito had kidnapped and tricked her as opposed to being her friend rescuing her from Konoha's clutches.
It might be different if she had any reason to viscerally feel the betrayal. But she didn't. Aiko remembered bits and pieces from before Obito, but that was it. She didn't feel an emotional connection. So he just seemed more real to her than people she might have known in Konoha. Who cared if there were people out there missing her, if she didn't miss them?
That sounded awful, even in her head. But what would happen if she decided that Obito had kidnapped her and ran to Konoha? Even if she made it—and what were the chances of making that long trip, when she was watched— what would it be like to find herself in a place she didn't really remember, with people who had expectations and fond memories of her? What would they want from her—was she even the same person, in an appreciable sense, and would she measure up to what they wanted? Would they hold any changes against her?
'I'm getting overly defensive about the imagined reactions of people I don't remember.' Aiko huffed a little laugh, bringing the pillow on her chest up to cover her mouth. 'I'm ridiculous. I'm emotionally compromised, aren't I? Still. I feel like my life is here. I have hobbies, I have a friend, I have a job, and I have a- what the hell is Kakuzu, anyway? Is he friend number two?'
He probably wouldn't agree, but she thought that he was. So, yes. Friend number two.
That had a good ring to it. She grinned into her pillow. 'So, that's an emotional reason to stay. This is terrible form to come up with logical reasoning after I'm leaning towards a decision, but I still think my logic is sound in that I couldn't leave anyways. Obito checks up on me if I'm so much as a day late, which could indicate concern for my well-being just as much as it could be an attempt to keep me from running off. I wouldn't get very far if I tried to leave—not without help, which I appear to have no way of obtaining. So, following through that I have no apparent pressing need to escape… that seems like a lot of risk for low potential benefit. I can re-examine the issue if it seems that I am in danger or if additional resources present themselves, but as of now I seem to be both stuck and unmotivated to change my position.'
In other words, she'd pretty well concluded that without any game-changing information, she wasn't going to do anything drastic.
There was really only one question left, but Aiko had no idea to answer it. She couldn't help but feel that… Well. Now that she'd basically decided that Obito had probably lied to her in some capacity, shouldn't she resent him? Resentment would be one reason to leave, if only to spite him.
She couldn't muster up the emotion, however. It seemed dishonest to get huffy and indignant. If it suited her purposes, she'd do worse than convince an amnesiac that they were friends. Aiko had done worse. On her very first mission, she'd inadvertently led a man to his death and not lost a night of sleep over it.
(That would have been impossible. The nightmares already kept her up, or at least they had at that point. They were losing their effect now that their brutality was a bit passé.)
Aiko and Obito were shinobi, and that meant they were hired killers (and therefore not the greatest people already). Whining about a lie seemed a bit petty at that point. Although that didn't mean she had no sense of morality or things she wouldn't do. There had to be a line somewhere, of course, or else they'd just be gibbering loonies. No- not loonies. They'd be like wild dogs that needed to be put down, and not really people. Something separated even shinobi from mindless animals.
That line seemed like loyalty—to her chosen companion, at least, if not a cause or ideology.
'And I suppose I've chosen my side. Obito's been good to me. I want to stay with him.'
The thought of leaving him alone… Well, it made her sad.
He wasn't well, after all. Kakuzu was surprisingly decent, but there was no chance in hell that he would look out for 'Obi if Aiko took off. He just wasn't the touchy feely type.
Besides, if he had tricked her… He'd done a damn good job, actually, and she could appreciate the artistry there. From a professional standpoint, if nothing else.
'So,' Aiko decided firmly. 'If I find out that Obito was telling the truth, and I am therefore in little danger from him, I'm staying.'
The corollary being, of course, that if he didn't have her best interest in mind, she was going to run screaming in the opposite direction.
It was good to have that all figured out. Especially since it was Wednesday, Obito should be coming back soon for the weekly accounting paperwork party. (Obito called it a 'meeting', but Kakuzu had approved the name change). Anyway, she was just going to act normally.
His cycas revoluta were hardy and lush this year. Zetsu fancied that he could smell hints of the toxic sap as a break of new leaves was beginning to erupt from the base of the plant, but it was his imagination. They were beautiful, though, and this specimen was a fine plant that had been flourishing for hundreds of years. Convincing bees to pollinate had been a fuss that required other, more traditionally decorative plants to be relocated nearby, so he was well invested in the project. He carefully removed a pup, ready to transfer it to soil of its own. Beautiful.
Zetsu stopped his work when he heard the crackle of Obito's holographic communication jutsu, swiveling out of the sand to face the much younger being.
Black Zetsu might have snarled if it had possessed features at the moment. The child was a necessary tool in order to revive his mother, but taking orders from one so transparent and short-sighted did grate occasionally.
White Zetsu had no such thoughts, nor was he aware of the reasoning behind his companion's derision. If he had, he probably would have gotten in the way.
"As it turns out, it's a good thing that you put those spores on the girl."
"Oh?" the wood-clones asked in unison. They had already known that: the point had been to force Obito to finally commit to a course of action. That was transparently a beneficial course of action.
The image of their supposed master flickered. "Yes. I'll contact you telepathically when Aiko uses her chakra chains. Use up the spores draining her chakra to about 10%, but do not allow her to realize that the drain is being caused by anything but the activation of her genetic birthright. Time it so that she loses consciousness as soon as possible, before she has a chance to realize that her eyes are not changing naturally. I will bring you to her and conduct the surgery at that point."
"There are worse plans," Black Zetsu acknowledged.
It was a neat solution. Almost suspiciously neat, coming from someone with such dramatic flair. If efficiency had been Obito's du jour tactic, then his chosen aliases would not have been so ridiculously flamboyant. There would also have been no superfluous waste of Amegakure, Otogakure, and Mizugakure, countries that had all been under his indirect control at one point. World domination had been in the grasp of one man, and he'd carelessly tossed it aside in favor of pursuing a dead man's ambition for a genjutsu that only Kaguya could truly master.
(It was mildly entertaining that one man who was dead to the world could have so much power and use it so poorly).
The projection nodded, shadows covering the curved mask. "Oh, and Zetsu? Don't undermine my decisions again."
With that, the Uchiha cut short the technique and flickered out of sight. White Zetsu huffed. "It wasn't me," he pouted.
Black Zetsu didn't bother to respond.
At least Obito was making progress towards the ultimate Tsukyomi, in the defective and faltering way that Obito accomplished anything. As soon as that was cast, Black Zetsu wouldn't need him any longer. Kaguya would be revived and the worlds made anew.
If there was a problem, Black Zetsu couldn't see it. He might have suspected Obito's stalling was a hint that he'd become attached to the sacrifice, but that didn't seem to be in Obito's character. If that was going to happen surely he would have shown signs of that weakness in relation to one of the Akatsuki members in the past years.
He unclenched his hand, letting the pup that he'd crushed fall to the ground. White Zetsu made a mournful sound, but no comment.
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haven't talked to you before but i am really curious about valkyrie and crazy:b being similar. share your thoughts o valkyrie enthusiast
Oh, hello, hello!
So, I think to understand where I'm coming from, first you have to understand my horribly snobbish idea of art and artists (it's the ShuP in me), but I'm gonna try to keep that as concise as possible. I firmly believe that anything and everything can be art, as well as that anyone can be an artist regardless of their education, talent, skill or experience. However, art has to have a sort of artistic value. As in, anything and anyone has potential for this, but not everyone can achieve that potential. I'm sorry if you (or anyone reading this) enjoy hollywood and YA, but it's for the example - while film and literature are art forms, hollywood movies and modern YA books will rarely hold artistic value to them, as most are created to fit a mould and a set of expectations - there is no experimentation, development of personal style or distancing from the norms and rules, neither is there any philosophy or deeper message in most. I could rant about the l'art pour l'art movement again, but I'll just leave it at "While it's true the aesthetic [entertainment] is also important in art, you can't really call it art if that's all it contains". Of course, this doesn't make hollywood movies or YA books bad as forms of entertainment, but it does make them lose artistic value. This is in part because film, literature, music, and so on are these days treated as a means of profit before they are considered art forms, so there are naturally exceptions. I thought Parasite and Don't Look Up, for example, were artistic.
Anyway. I'm saying Crazy:B and Valkyrie are similar in the sense that they both exhibit this artistic value, the individuality and distancing oneself from the norms and rules of the art form and society through their work. They're both units that are part of the idol industry, but they're not what you'd think of when you think of idols. For me, that would be Trickstar or fine - they make very idol-like music (which ofc doesn't make it bad, they've got bangers, just for comparison's sake). Valkyrie are more straightforward with it, their music contains lots of orchestral sounds (violins, piano, even harpsichords at times), and their lyrics often reference classical literature and mythology. If they were just any music group, I'd call their theme artistic and leave it at that, but it's precisely because they're an idol unit that they stick out as Artists - despite being idols, they reject most of the norms and rules associated with it (just the way they treat their fans is enough to point out) and instead push their own philosophies and ideas through their own unique style that they've developed from the idol blueprint that they've distanced themselves from.
Every art movement started when new artists started rejecting the norms and rules set by their predecessors. Renaissance writers started talking about the superiority of the human, baroque writers went back to christianity and God. Avantgarde artists were called avantgarde, because they were "before everyone", pioneers of new, frankly almost incomprehensible, styles. Crazy:B are idols, yet Rinne they only ever cause trouble and chaos. As HiMERU said, their behaviour is extremely un-idol-like. The troublemakers. The ones who don't follow the rules or norms, yet despite that they used the idol blueprint to create their own style, still distancing themselves from the expectations of what an idol should behave and look like, in order to push and create music that contains their philosophies and ideas. And maybe their music isn't very "artistic" at first glance (though, again, if you look at it from a lyrical angle, I'd call some of their music artistic, too), but their behaviour and treatment of the form is.
I'm saying Crazy:B and Valkyrie are both artists and artistic units in the exact same ways. They only differ in their presentation. Thank you for coming to my TED talk
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(Please ignore this if it is too personal) When did you first know you were a man? How would I know whether I am a man or a woman? Is there certain feelings attached or something else? I’d like to hear more about your experience if you’re willing to share. Either way, thanks for your time and have a great day!
Oh boy gender stuff! Good luck anon!
I'll do my best to describe what it was like for me, but everyone's different and I feel like I had kind of a non-standard story anyway, maybe? (feelings were weird bc.... autism? trauma? depression?? all of the above??) But everyone's different, anyways. Some people know as soon as they have a concept of gender as small kids and some people find out super late in life, I figured it out the year after I graduated college.
There isn't really a specific moment I can remember, it was just sort of... steadily going "huh. hm. I think maybe.... huh..." and doing research and thinking about it. A couple days at the very end of August were the tipping point and I was sure by September, which is sort of a personal holiday for me figuring it out. For quite a while but especially for the year previous to this I'd been figuring out that I liked my hair short, and that I liked wearing more masculine clothes (my homophobic mom several times accused me of being queer and I was like WTF NO LEAVE ME ALONE I'M CLEARLY A COMPLETELY CISHET GOOD CHRISTIAN WAMEN WHO IS NOT SLOWLY DEVELOPING A GENDER CRISIS lol.) You can see why the um environment in my family might have contributed to me... not wanting to/feeling allowed to explore this earlier idk.
I was unsure for basically the first year of knowing I was trans, because I have issues with doubting my perceptions easily, but I logiced my way through it and was like. Why would I -want- to alienate my family and complicate my whole life if this wasn't real, like why would I choose extra inconvenience for funsies?? I wouldn't. I've gotten a bit more sure about myself and able to trust my perceptions since then, but also relaxed on knowing the specifics of everything. I'm still figuring out my gender and sexuality on some level (I'm some type of aroace but what fine print and where on the spectrum? idk but I'm something. I'm transmasculine, am I Completely Binary 100% Full Gender Man Dude or more nonbinary/agender? idk, I do know that I want to transition, for now I just tell people I'm a trans man and it's close enough and feels right.)
Emotionally, it's weird. For me, I didn't... at least I didn't notice dysphoria, at first? Because that was the way I'd always been, it felt normal. But here's the thing, "normal" felt dull and dead and just sort of empty. Like I wasn't interested in being my gender I was just sort of going through the motions because it seemed like I was supposed to. The big difference for me was realizing that I wanted masculinity and that it made me feel good about my gender, something I had not felt before. Before it had always just been like "eh, sure, okay, I guess. I mean, there's not another option, right?" (There was.)
I guess when I figured it out there was just sort of a sense of, oh, okay. There's nothing to go back to, because that was all just a lot of -nothing-, and now I've figure out how to actually feel alive, gender-wise. Like I didn't feel there was an option to turn that awareness off.
I don't know, it's confusing trying to explain it. Feelings weird. I want to say "you'll just know" but I did get super anxious and psyche myself out going "but what if I'm just completely deranged and making this all up for some incomprehensible reason?? or what if I'm POSSESSED??" (true story.) so like, it uh, took me a while to Know(TM) myself.
It might be easier to put aside the "am I trans" question for a sec and think about specific things that you do know that you are or want. Like this page! also this, and @transgenderteensurvivalguide in general. They're a good source. and I really like youtuber Jammidodger. There's sometimes a disconnect between finding community online and in the real world though, what I found out is that there were a lot more queer people and a lot more resources in my area than I thought! I was able to get top surgery like right down the street, I had assumed I'd need to travel to another state. So try to figure out if there's a local LGBTQ+ organization of some kind, they might have more information for what's in your area. I'm on a weekly zoom call with other trans people in the community, it's open to gender-nonconforming and questioning people as well as trans allies. I think a lot of trans groups generally are open for you to just come hang out and talk to other people and see other people if you're questioning your gender, you don't have to have all the answers on day one.
I hope some of this helps, it's really only something you can figure out yourself but @transgenderteensurvivalguide is a good compilation of resources to help figure it out. Good luck anon! Take your time, try not to freak out too much, I love you!
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Holy fuck a pinned post.. It's one of those pinned posts isn't it
What's up gamers I post Rain Code (literally just the peacekeepers) (it's a Yomi world no mercy). I don't tag spoilers so do with that what you will
Names include: Seweryn, Seth, Jaspis, Szczur, Hiacynt, Karneol, Sylwester, Datura and Stefan. I collect names like cool rocks, you can basically pick and choose on which ones you use to refer to me on any given day, I don't really care. He/it/xe exclusively, and yes, they/them IS misgendering can you not pleaseee *looking at you with my big wet eyes*. On a similiar note, I'm transmasc and I'll prefer to not be referred to with any feminine terms like ever, I don't care if it's a joke/slang/whatever. "girl" isn't gender neutral guys what the huh I am going to become the joker
Yomi Hellsmile fictionkin in like, the serious way. (Can't believe Yomi got real and is now prowling around somewhere in the bowels of eastern Europe that's so cool right). That's also why I drop the I/me oftentimes whenever I talk about Yomi, in case you were confused about that.
I'm generally pretty hesistant to interact with people that also call themselves kin (and especially "kinnies"), as I'd rather not involve myself with the kff crowd or other people that treat being fictionkin as an extension of fandom, and unfortunately I can't always tell whether somebody is using it in good faith or not, but I don't like to assume things about people based off of very limited information like a few posts, either. Where was I going with this? Basically uh, having my eyes pried open and forced to witness late 2010s (fiction)kin drama has turned me extra sensitive and it's day 2137 of me telling people to please look up what being otherkin even means before using it for themselves I'm begging
If anybody has questions of any kind concerning the whole thing (whether it's purely for info's sake or more personal) then I'm fine with answering as long I'm given basic amounts of respect (no calling me a kinnie, no making me into a punchline, no making weird assumptions about me based off my kintype, no getting weirdly personal about it if you're another fictionkin from my source??)
Very often I have trouble with memory and articulating myself and whatever I write may end up looking a bit weird or just near incomprehensible and unfortunately there's nothing I can currently do about it. While I love receiving them, I might take very long to forever to actually answer an ask due to either low energy or anxiety. This should should go without saying but if you make fun of me for it like ever you're getting hard blocked into the sun
I don't do "DNI"s as they're just objectively pretty stupid and ineffective, and just block people as I see fit. Instead, if you're curious about those, here are my boundaries under the cut which are optional reading - but might be helpful if you'd like to avoid getting blocked over accidentially crossing some of them:
I get very anxious over people leaving their negative opinions on/getting aggressive over Yomi under my posts, trust me I don't need nor want to hear it. You can go hate him literally anywhere else, why are you doing that here.
Nsft stuff might occassionally be referenced/discussed on this blog, but please never leave weirdly sexual asks/tags in relation to Yomi/me, even as jokes. It makes me incredibly uncomfortable and I will block over it from now on.
(continuing from above point: these sorts of comments are still usually perfectly fine to leave on the yaoihellsmile blog)
If you're wondering, or about to ask as to why I might have you blocked: I block very liberally over all sorts of stuff no matter how small, so I most of the time probably don't even know either.
I don't check carrds, sometimes I don't check pinned posts either. If you don't want me going through your stuff, the block button is simply the best way to do that. No hard feelings, I promise
If you bring up shipping discourse I'm compressing you into a cube. It's 2024 who fucking cares over which pixels you draw making out none of this is real consider logging off and caring about some actual problems
Probably will add onto those in the future. We'll see. anyway...
You're getting a krówka for reading all that👍👍
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Journal Entry | End of 2023
Pixel 7 | tumblr
Cascade Thinking
I work from home.
I work from home and the client contract I'm currently on is likely to move to a hybrid telework in-office approach in 2024.
I live about three hours from the office.
I'm not worried.
Why am I not worried?
Because I've decided not to worry about things that are three or more levels of contingency away from a change in my current trajectory.
This may go without saying, but I don't want to drive 3 hours to the office and back. Honestly, I'd be fine doing it once a month or so long-term, as it would give me a nice excuse to go see my friends in the city, probably crash on some couches for a weekend.
Okay I'm a little worried, they're discussing the logistics as I write over my lunch break. But I've decided I don't need to *act* on that worry.
Goin into the office two days per pay period would be unsustainable in the long run, but it's something I could manage of needed for a month or two, longer if absolutely necessary.
Instead of just riding an anxiety spiral into the worst case scenario, however, let's look at my cascade of contingencies.
Firstly, even though this whole process is still up in the air, there have been caveats in existing return-to-office plans in other departments that exempt employees who live 50 miles or further from the office. So even if they do make everyone go back in, I may very well be exempt from that requirement.
Secondly, the department I work in still hasn't made any announcements about contractors needing to go into the office, just employees. So there's a chance they'll leave it that way.
Third, if I did have to go into the office for a while it would be annoying, but there's a possibility I could do it for a few months and then request an exemption, and I maybe I'll get it.
Lastly, if it's a worst case scenario and I am expected to go in... well, I can do that while I consider my options. I already have a solid resumé of being able to successfully telework, so I expect things will work out.
Now, if I get fired and it's a worse worst case scenario, I have some savings and I have several rooms I can rent out, so I have a long runway to get back on my feet before I can't pay my mortgage.
By actually exploring the likely paths that the future may take, and seeing that there are ways to manage various outcomes, this is how I got out of a mental landscape dominated by anxiety.
This method isn't faith-based, and it allows for both unexpectedly good and unexpectedly bad things to happen without feeling alone and responsible for everything. I can take steps to lean towards certain outcomes, but at the end of the day things happen for a complex confluence of reasons and I am usually a small fraction of that process.
I'm neither responsible for everything, nor am I powerless.
It seems obvious, I think, when it's said directly. But I used to have a somewhat superstitious view of failure, assuming that any bad outcome was somehow my fault for not preventing. This grandiose thinking was something I was taught, and had to painstakingly unlearn.
I think that sort of superstitious anxiety spiral is something many people are caught in, and as of now the only remedy seems to be consistent and gentle reminders that bad things happening isn't a sign of moral failure, that the universe is not particularly interested in punishment or rewards, but simple causes and effects stacking up on one another until they are incomprehensibly complex.
Signed,
Dakota Schuck
Journal Entry | End of 2023
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What's your favorite creepypasta out of all of them? (Sorry if this question has an obvious answer I'm just curious.)
(btw love ur art)
Oh my god, I'm so terribly sorry for not answering this since forever.
I think people noticed my activity on here keeps dwindling more and more, there's just too much going on in my personal life right now, both literally and mentally. Trust me, I wanna create content again, I just don't know when.
But first of all, thank you for this ask and thank you for the compliment, I apologize for not having created any more art in probably months at this point-
And while the answer may be obvious, I always love getting to gush over my favourite boys. I could of course go the easy route and just say Ben and Silver are my faves... But I need to be honest with myself.
I think the posts, the headcanons, the tags and all make it obvious that while my favourite used to be Lost Silver it slowly evolved into it being Ben.
And I still stand by that. He isn't only my favourite Creepypasta, he is probably my biggest comfort character and one of my most favourite characters in general.
I don't even fully know why, my neurodivergent brain just decided to hyperfixate on him and hasn't let go of him since. He is in there 24/7 and better pay his goddamn rent soon-
He is lovable, he is so fun to design and draw and make headcanons for, he seems like a great MC to write for, he is genuinely such a nice person despite all he went through, he's so incredibly tragic, like I legit still think he is the saddest Creepypasta ever and you can not change my mind, I just wanna hug him and let him know everything will be fine. But I'm also thirsty for angst, so sucks to be him I guess, lol.
He just... makes me genuinely happy, but don't worry, his boyfri- I mean Silver is still very close up as the second most important Gamingpasta in my heart.
Silver has always been sort of an inspiration to me and a giver of hope which I probably show in my writing, like I often think I may kinda be a traitor to Silver fans or many SilvernMoon shippers, because most seem to care more for him and that's totally fine and cool; I just feel like a faker almost for it lol, but I still love him a lot, I just gotta acknowledge that I want Ben to be happy too, and even think he needs love and comfort more (That's right, I said it).
I'm really sorry if my rambles make no more sense or are becoming incomprehensible. Bottom line, my faves are Ben and Silver, but if being 100% honest my absolute fave is Ben, he's just a funky lil bean.
Stan Ben Drowned/Benjamin Lawman for clear skin!
PS: Also honorable mention to my boy Liu. Idc if he isn't written the best apparently (Tho of course I agree the DID was handled badly and the one thing I would change about him), I find his potential great and him very underrated. Sure is a shame his brother is one of the worst ones to ever exist and the fandom just needs to staple him to said brother instead of letting Liu be his own character.
But not the point of the ask lmao.
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i guess i should make an intro!
hi! i'm wyatt. i'm 17, and i use he/they pronouns. i also go by sammy! either name works, but most people just call me wyatt, and that's the name i use IRL as well. i've had this blog for a while (over a year? i had one in 2019 and then deleted it at some point, and idk when i made this one!) but i think i'll be more active here now because tumblr's interface feels more user friendly. who knows, tho ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
some info about me and this account (a BYF, i guess):
this is a very general purpose blog. i will post all sorts of crap here. from fanart to serious topics to cats with ridiculous names! i don't repost serious things too often (i don't think, anyway).
most of my posts are just reblogs! i don't have a large audience so i don't feel the need to make posts. i know you have to make posts to have a large audience, but i'm fine with a smaller audience as well. im just in my own silly little environment
i'm on social media for my own enjoyment, which means i will post as little or as much as i feel like at the moment! i will also block people for small or silly reasons (like, if i don't like the stuff they post, even if it's not problematic).
if anyone else remembers framecast/drawcast hmu because sometimes i wonder if that was just something i dreamt
FEEL FREE TO SEND ME PICS OF UR ANIMALS ANYTIME
please don't feel bad if i don't watch/listen to/read something you suggest. i have a huge huge huge list of things i need to watch, read, listen to, play, etc. i have not crossed off a single thing. i really just suck at getting into new content for some reason
that being said, i think learning about a piece of media through a person that really really likes it is much more enthralling than actually looking into it myself. so feel free to rant to me about things!
give me ur ocs this is a threat
i have my own ocs that i may post about from time to time! feel free to ask me about them. please.
i don't know half the shit that goes on in the online world. if i follow someone who is problematic, just assume i don't know anything because i probably don't!
if anyone needs me to give photo IDs/transcriptions of images i post, don't hesitate to ask! i'll gladly add one on
i can't read most fancy fonts. i know some (like zalgo text) are made with the intention to be incomprehensible, but if you use a fancy font (such as over-the-top cursive, some gothic/medieval fonts, or ɑׁׅ֮ꪀׁׅᨮ꫶ׁׅ֮tׁׅhׁׅ֮ꪱׁׅꪀׁׅᧁׁ ᥣׁׅ֪ꪱׁׅƙׁׅ֑ꫀׁׅܻ tׁׅhׁׅ֮ꪱׁׅ꯱ׁׅ֒ (anything like this), i will not be able to read it! a translation or caption would be nice if you use one of these fonts, but it's probably not something i'll unfollow you over
i use parentheses often (because how else will i communicate vital information in an easy and concise manner?)
that's it for disclaimers, i think! here's some of my interests:
five nights at freddys :(
the walten files
blaseball
my ocs!!
stardew valley
pre-2010s microsoft windows operating systems
will i get laughed off of this website if i say purble place? bc yeah
homestuck (im sorry)
anything with convoluted lore ig
backrooms/"liminal spaces" (idk why they're called liminal spaces, which is why there's quotation marks around them) (also i don't know shit about the backrooms lore i just like empty places that fill me with dread)
so yeah!!
i guess everyone is doing "before you follow" and "don't interact" warnings. i pretty much did a byf up at the top. but here's a dni ig:
DNI: proshippers. i think that's it really
YCIBYOTI (you can interact but you're on thin ice): tiktok kids y'all scare the crap out of me. genshin fans (i call y'all genshpacters so don't be surprised by that). danganronpa fand. again i don't want to tell people who like those things not to follow me, because no group of ppl are a monolith and there's definitely a bunch of people who don't live up to the stereotypes. but i am Slightly Wary of y'all. this isn't a hardcore "don't interact" but more like "proceed with caution & please don't tap the glass because it scares the animals (me)"
that's it!
a picture of my cat, for your troubles
ok cya 👋
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The exposure and vulnerability inherent in sex is so deeply horrifying tbh
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So earlier (in February maybe) @headgehug asked me for electro music recs, and here they are, under the cut (note: "electro" is very broadly envisioned here). What's in purple is what I'd definitely recommend. It's messy (you know me) hahaha
Pushing On - Boxed In My version on Spotify is longer but the gist is kept. If you like it I can also recommend Unable, London Lights, Pitiless,
If you're interested in more swingier stuff, Listen - Nekta is a nice one. If you like it, I also recommend Wanna Fete (Wanne Get Remix). Lemon Firebrigade,
Squeeze Me - Kraak & Smaak is more about the beats, maybe with a hip-hop feel? I'm not very well-versed in that side of music terminology. Check out Bentley's Gonna Sort You Out too! Hands of Time also by Kraak & Smaak is "sadder" but still has those delicious beats. See also The Night Terrors (Saint Etienne Remix).
Algorytme - Lindstrøm is the kind of repetitive, progressive stuff you listen while hyperfocusing on your work. With the same vibes, you've got Still Going Theme, Exploitation, Pacific 707, Small Hundred, Kiss You on the Cheek (King of Town Remix), Jumbo, Alpha and Omega, Neverless (Original Mix),
The next ones are more pop-ish and often well-known I guess? I Follow RIvers (The Magicians Remix), I Like That (Original Mix), Ghosts 'n Stuff, Home, Sometimes, We Can't Fly, Raw Vis Vision, Random Firl, Satisfaction, Fun For Me, Memories, No One in this World & Rollin'on Chrome (Wild Motherf*cker Dub) (btw I recommend the Hotel Costes compilation), Calabria,
For old-school vibes, check out Giant - The The, Inspector Norse, Windowlicker, One Club Town, Jam Fan (Chanel Show Version), My Future Girlfriend,
Shenzen V - Bon Voyage Organisation is one of my favourites. For more French touch, check out Randy, Just Need Your Love, Cause I Got a Chance, Fou (Poolside Remix), Stand on the World (Mima Remix), Civilization, Short Circuit,
Criss Cross - Shy Child is also a favorite of mine, I find the whole path and the climax absolutely exquisite. Similar: Breathe Deeper,
Reconstruct - Photay has very chill vibes with shoegaze attributes. Check out also Everybody's Got To Learn Sometimes, Say It, Sync, Blue Skies in Your Eyes, Broken Drum,
On another vibe entirely, and yet very similar to the last one in some way, Just Gazin' is much more "generous" (happy?) but still, slight shoegaze vibes remain. Also check out A Tune For Jack, Grey Lanes, Fredag, Isi, I'm Doing Fine,
Boards of Canada's famous Roygbiv is a classic, very accessible yet still "them". Happy yet melancholic. A very generous sound. 69 Police by David Holmes has similar vibes, that guy notably worked on the Ocean's 11-13 movies. Solar Flight Opus 1 by Mandré is an oldie but it's in the same vibe as Roygbiv. See also Infinite Realm of Incomprehensible Suffering by Clown Core.
Happy stuff: Autumn - Lunarbeam, Fool, Feelin' Good, Bonjour Mademoiselle Humanoïde, New Balance, Give It Away, Montreal, Jo,
Kinda heavy but generous sound: Head and Shoulders - Leftfield
Here We Go/Quasar (Hybrid Remix) deserves a mention as well here. I don't know how this kind of rock-ish electro-ish orchestra hybrid has become "car media music", but in any case, it works.
Down there are not necessary electro tracks, but more jazzy stuff that I still wanted to put there. Nordpool Orchestra's reprise of Radiohead's 15 Step, David Holmes's Lazy, The Bad Plus's Flim, Kamasi Washington's Truth.
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Conference
@dantelionwishes All the talk about parent-teacher conferences got me thinking and then I had this idea. So I obviously had to write about it. So here is the conference between Sato-sensei and Tsumi's wonderful mom Taeko Natsumi
Notes: This is kinda sad not gonna lie, y'all gonna get some insight about Tsumi's character (the sad portions of it cause y'all have only really got fun stuff with these). Also, the kid is probably supposed to be in the room during these conferences but it worked better without Tsumi in the room so yeah. Also it's unedited so it might be mildly incomprehensible
Sato sorted through some of the papers on his desk, sorting through the mess of notes he had prepared and taken during the night's conferences. Some went better than others and at this point, Sato was begging for a decent parent to come and save him. Sato didn't even look up as a quiet knock came from the classroom door. "Come in."
"You're Osamu Sato, correct?"
"Yes that would be me," Sato turned to see who had just entered his classroom. It was a woman who looked to be in about her mid-30s, she was decently tall with wavy black hair. Two black horns sprouted from her head and her eyes were a bright yellow that appeared to be dulled down by tiredness. "And I'm assuming that you're Tsutsumi's mother."
"Yes, Taeko Natsumi. I am so sorry that I'm late. Something happened at work last minute so I had to stay late but as soon as I got out I rushed right over," she apologized as she took a seat in one of the chairs positioned in front of Sato's desk for the conference.
Sato shook his head," No need to apologize. Now then let's just get right into it shall we."
Taeko nodded, she had been waiting for this conference since Tsumi told her about it the other week. This was her chance to make sure that everything was okay with her daughter.
"Now academically Tsumi is rather average, though she occasionally falls behind the curve. But it doesn't happen often enough for it to be of any actual concern. Though if you want I'm sure there's plenty of students who wouldn't mind lending her a hand with her studies," Sato explained.
Taeko thought for a second before shaking her head," That's fine. Like you said her grades don't sound like they're struggling. Plus I know she's never been all that interested in academics, so a tutor isn't necessary."
Sato nodded, "Now onto her hero training. Your daughter has a very powerful quirk, as I'm sure you're aware, and she is one of the most passionate students I've ever seen. I don't think anyone else in the class trains quite as much as her, and sometimes I wonder if there's anything I can teach her that she hasn't already started to teach herself," Sato chuckled a little at his overexaggerated praise. "Not to mention she's constantly aiming to help out all of her classmates, whether it is training-related or not. She's made it more than apparent that she already has the mind and heart to be a hero, I have no doubt of that in my mind."
Taeko smiled at the praise, it warmed her heart to hear how well Tsumi was doing. Not to mention that she was getting along with her classmates. She knew that Tsumi didn't have the best middle school, so the fact that Tsumi finally had people who she got along with and could call friends, it was almost enough to make her tear up.
Sato took a deep breath to prepare himself for what he wanted to bring up next. "Though that brings me onto what I really wanted to discuss with you. While Tsumi is really good at the hero thing, she doesn't seem to be very good at the being a kid thing," he paused," as I said she trains more than anyone else in class but that almost seems to be the only thing she does. I don't know the stories of all the scars she has but I see them and the occasional new ones and the dark circles around her eyes and I start to worry."
Taeko just looked down at her lap, seeming lost deep in thought. She didn't dare look Sato in the eye right now. Sato was about to continue but got cut off. "I know," Taeko didn't lookup.
"Tsumi's been like that for a while," she took a second to make sure she was collected before continuing," I used to think that the change started at middle school, but I know that it happened long before then. When Tsumi was around 6 years old she and her father got into an accident. Tsumi got messed up pretty bad but recovered fully, but her father wasn't as lucky. Tsumi herself was left with a massive scar, a reminder of what happened. That combined with all the other effects of the loss created the Tsumi we have today. Before it all went down she was quiet and cautious, but after the accident, she started to become more reckless. I guess as she got older that recklessness just changed targets and turned into what it is today."
"I am, so sorry for your loss," Sato paused, still processing what he was told.
"Thank you," Taeko gave a sorrowful smile. "I just know that event still has such a large effect on her life. She fights so adamantly to not let her life be a story of tragedy and rather be one of heroism, especially after middle school."
Even though Taeko didn't say anything about what happened to Tsumi during those years Sato could assume, especially with a quirk like hers.
Taeko spoke up again, a new emotion that Sato couldn't quite place in her voice," And I'm telling you all of this because I need your help. I want Tsumi to achieve her dream. More than anything else in this world I want her to be happy and that is what is going to make her happy, but I know I can't help her. At least not directly. But you, you can. So please he Tsutsumi achieve her dream while keeping her from tearing herself apart."
Tears started to form at the corner of her eyes," This is the only way that I know that I can assure she stays happy and healthy. So please, keep her safe and make my little girl a hero Mr. Sato."
Sato looked at her in stunned silence, all this woman wanted was the best life for her daughter. "Don't worry Mrs. Natsumi, you're daughter is in good hands. I'll make sure she is taken care of."
"Thank you," Taeko smiled. "Thank you so much."
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Imagine you're another being with the "shinning" and hunted by Rose Hat and her gang. Part 1.(my version of Doctor Sleep. Warning : gore. Horror movie. Also, you're a bad a**. 😉😂)
Little Danny loved to explore the hotel, he liked to think that it was an adventure. This is why that when the door of room 374 mysteriously opened on its own, he found himself inside before he could think about the consequences of his action. He looked around, it didn't seem any different from any other room, besides the fact that there was a huge mirror in the center of it. He approaches it and, finding his reflection funny, started making weird faces in front of it. However, his reflection quickly distorted, showing a little girl who was crying instead. Danny was a very curious little boy, and like many little boys as curious as him, he wanted to investigate. He sat on the ground and stared at the girl that hadn't noticed him yet and couldn't help but find her pretty. When she raised her eyes, they immediately made contact with the ones of Danny that smiled sympathetically at her.
" Why are you crying?"
He asked and she sniffled.
" My sister..She's done some terrible things..But I don't know what to do.."
He stared at the mirror for a moment before raising his index to his ear and whispered.
" What should I do, Tony ? She seems scared.."
The little girl raises an eyebrow at his strange gesture, but didn't interrupt him as he replied in another voice.
" I think she needs a friend.."
The boy smiled and nodded vividly in agreement before turning towards the girl again.
" Tony says I should probably be your friend. My name is Danny. What's yours ?"
The girl laughed a little before replying.
" Y/N..Where are you right now ?"
You asked, looking around him with a small frown. He seemed to be in some sort hotel..But, something felt off.
" I'm with my mom and my dad. We came here for his job.."
But, Danny didn't seem too happy about it and you decided to step a little closer to the mirror.
" You see bad things too.."
You said knowingly and Danny nodded frantically.
" I see them too.."
His eyes widened at your confession and he quickly asked.
" Really ? What do you see ?"
You seemed to look around, making sure that no one could hear you before leaning in and whispering.
" My sister..She has someone else with her, someone bad and that tells her what she has to do. This morning, she killed our dog..This is why I'm sad. The more the bad lady stays, the more my sister seems to change..I'm afraid that she will do something awful to my parents.."
Danny listened and put his thumb in his mouth, the only this that seemed to calm him down when he was worried or upset about something. He was afraid that you would find his odd behavior strange, but you only smiled before putting a strand of your hair in your mouth: your own calming process. He slowly took his thumb out and shared his own struggles.
" My father wanted to come here..but the hotel is bad. There are very bad things happening around and I'm afraid that he is going to hurt us.."
In a way, you both understood each other's struggles..But before you could talk more about it, you heard the voice of your sister calling you and freezed. She entered the room and her eyes were immediately drawn to the mirror. She smiled maliciously before standing in front of the glass.
" And who might you be, huh ?"
She asked, but Danny was too scared to speak..He had seen the old woman standing above her and her face suddenly distorted at the realization. She grimaced in anger and screamed.
" Get out of my house !"
The force of the scream was such that it send Danny flying against a wall. The connection stopped and Danny was on the verge of crying when he suddenly heard a door creak. He slowly turned his head towards the bathroom and his eyes widened as he saw someone in the bathtub. He stood up and seemed to be drawn in by the bathroom. He wanted to get out, but couldn't help walking forward, the door closing behind him..
A few years later :
You are walking towards the nearby cinema, unaware that you are being followed. You step in the cinema and buy a ticket before sitting down in one of the comfortable chairs of the dark room. There are other people, a blond girl and a man in his forties. You don't have to wonder about their relationship as the man puts his hand on the girl's thigh. You grimace and try to take a better look at the girl that seemed awfully young..You sigh loudly before looking up at the screen. They had entered together..maybe you were reading too much into this ? However, when you hear the small noises of pain, you stand up, ready to take the girl's hand and run..But imagine your surprise when you see that the moans of pain were coming from the man. You stay speechless, but quickly sit back down, looking at the girl that is whispering things in his ear, things that make the man physically shake. You look around, wondering if anyone else had noticed. Nobody seems to notice what's unfolding, only two people that seem to fix the girl with envy and..something else. You shiver as the eyes of the woman seem to stare straight at you. However, you pretend being as oblivious as everyone else by stuffing yourself with popcorn, making her grimace in disgust and look away promptly. At the end of the movie, you nearly run out of the cinema and enter the bus quickly. You see the two persons following..the blond girl from the cinema. She seems scared and you take multiple shaky breaths before running out of the bus. You curse yourself as you run past the two creeps to take the arm of the girl and put on your best fake smile.
" Hi girl ! The movie was sooo good, don't you think ?!"
The blond one frowns in incomprehension, but quickly understands when you significantly tilt your head backwards. She nods and smiles even wider before playing the game.
" I know ! I'm so sorry to have left you, but I really thought my date would show up !"
You glance backwards and see that the two have disappeared..But you don't feel like leaving the girl alone and whisper.
" My house is a few blocks away..You can hide there for a bit, just to make sure the two weirdos are truly gone.."
She looks back as well and finally nods in agreement. You arrive and lock the door behind you. You then turn towards the blond that is looking around curiously. You smile and look through the window to observe the street.
" Do you have any friends or family around here that you can stay at for the night ?"
You ask and the girl looks at her shoes sheepishly and shakes her head.
" No..I'm alone."
You feel her uneasiness and gaze back at her with a small reassuring smile.
" Don't worry, you can stay the night if you want. But, as I'm supposed to leave tomorrow..I need to know if you have anywhere to go ? A shelter maybe ? Do you want me to call child services ?"
At the mention of the latter, the girl looks up at you with frightened eyes and shakes her head negatively.
" No ! You won't take me there ! You'll allow me to stay here !"
The way she says it almost sounds like an order and you can see that she is trying to use the same trick on you than she did with the older man..but it doesn't work and you only sigh loudly.
" Fine. As I said, you can stay the night. But, tomorrow, I will be going to New Hampshire, so you better find something until then."
She slowly nods and you then make a sign for her to follow you. You open the guest room and she enters. She sits on the bed and seems happy enough. You smile and are about to tell her goodnight when she surprises you by telling you her name:
" Andi. My name is Andi."
You just realize now that you hadn't even asked for her name..You smile and respond.
" I'm Y/N."
Then you close the door and go to your own room.
The next day :
You wake up and get ready before preparing your breakfast. You enter Andi's room, but only find a neatly made bed. You feel a bit sad at the fact that she didn't even say goodbye..but that quickly goes away when you see that you are missing 20 dollars.
" Son of a..!"
You curse and sigh again..Well, it could have been worse. You take your car keys and get inside your car. You start driving towards New Hampshire while following a map. You are supposed to have an interview for the local newspaper and also..You kinda want to get away from the city for a while, too many entities there. You only stop halfway to get your sandwiches out of your bag. You search for through your stuff, but suddenly feel something moving on the backseat. You freeze and your brain starts gathering all the possible explanations..A raccoon ? A spirit ?..You wait and finally, a familiar fair-haired head peeks out from underneath a blanket.
"...Hey."
She greets you with an awkward smile and a small wave of her hand. You can't believe that she 1) actually slept through more than half of the road and 2) that she followed you ! Your shock passed6, you pinch the bridge of your nose in exasperation and ask on an intransigent tone.
" Andi. What are you doing here ?"
She doesn't answer, she just looks ahead with widened eyes and you grit your teeths..Is she actually ignoring you right now ?! You are about to start yelling when she points towards the road ahead. You sigh, but still look and your eyes widen as well when you see who is driving the small van ahead of you..the guys who was following Andi yesterday ! He seems to be following a young boy now. Your blood boils in your veins at the prospect that they were now actually attacking small children.
" Andi. Seat belt."
You say warningly, your hand gripping the steering wheel with such intensity that your knuckles turn white. Andi doesn't wait for you to ask twice and quickly buckles her seat belt. You see that the boy is about to get inside the car and suddenly hit the gas. You had a feeling, a feeling that this boy would never see the light of day again if you didn't stop them. You drive straight ahead and collide with van full force, continuing advancing even afterwards. You make them drive backwards and you glare straight into the other driver's eyes. He seems shocked at first, but when he recognizes you, he smiles. You grit your teeths and yell while raising your middle finger.
" Yeah ! Keep smiling, a**h*le !"
The boy is far away now. He will be able to get back to his parents safely. Andi doesn't scream, but can feel the anger radiating from you. The van drives away as well, and the front of your car may be in a disastrous state, but you don't care. When you're calm enough, you lean back against your seat and look back at Andi, making sure that she is alright.
" Everything's fine ?"
She nods affirmatively before looking at you with concern written all over her features.
" I know that they are creeps but..Wasn't it a bit too much ?"
You close your eyes and remember the screams of agony of a little girl that you had heard a few months ago..You don't know why, but the screams had suddenly reappeared in your head as you had seen the two individuals following Andi yesterday, and even louder with this kid. It is now your alarm when bad thing are about to happen. You hear the screams of this girl that seemed in such pain when she died..You had ran to get to her, but by the time you had arrived, she had disappeared completely. This is another one of the reasons why you had decided to leave your old town. You take a big breath before driving forward.
" You have to trust me on this. They deserved it."
You say confidently and Andi doesn't add anything. She only looks out the window silently for the rest of the way. When you finally arrive, you stop in front of a weird-looking house with dark-tinted windows and a bright red door. You had already seen it of course, but Andi hadn't. She pouts when she sees it and whines.
"Is that really where you're going to live ?"
You ark an eyebrow at the pronoun she uses and cough loudly for her to turn her attention towards you.
" Where WE are going to live, you mean ? You really think I'm going to let you go with those people out there ? Not in a million years. You stay with me, Missy. That you like it or not.."
Her eyes widen, but she quickly smiles excitedly.
" You mean it ?! I promise that I won't steal money from you again ! And I'll even give your watch back !"
" Yeah yeah..Don't get used to it though, as soon as the creeps are definitely off our backs, I'm finding you someone else to take care of you..Wait, what do you mean by giving my watch back ?!"
She smiles awkwardly and you look at your naked wrist and roll your eyes before extending your hand.
" Come on. Give it."
She immediately gets it out and gives it back to you with an apologetic smile. You both get out, and she even helps you with the luggage.
" No more stealing. I'll have a job and I'm sure it'll pay enough for the both of us."
She doesn't answer right away, but you suddenly turn around and wait with your arms crossed expectantly. She finally rolls her eyes and replies with her gaze lowered to the floor.
" Yes, "mom"."
You gasp in fake offense at her insinuation and she looks up at you with a small smirk.
" That's it, young lady. Come on. Get inside and tomorrow, I'll be sure to walk around and see if any schools can accept you. There is no way I'm leaving a fifteen-year old roam the street."
She seems to disapprove and says on an authorative tone, crossing her arms as well.
" I'm not going. In fact, you'll forget ever asking me to do so.."
She tries to use her powers on you again, but you resist her and sigh before entering the house. You don't answer her and she frowns, upset. However, she still enters after you and is agreeably surprised by the interior that is a lot prettier than the outside. You smile at her awed expression, however, you aren't that pleased to be back in this house..
" Home sweet home.."
You still remember how you thought that the walls were full of secrets and that the seemed to be whispering in your ears..They had warned you of what would happen, but you were only a child..What could you have done ? Andi gets you out of your thoughts by groaning loudly.
" I'm hungry.."
You sigh, of course she is..
" Okay, the money you stole from my wallet ? It was supposed to be used for buying groceries once here."
She looks at her shoes almost guiltily before admitting.
" I was hungry this morning..I used it to by a box of donuts and a milkshake.."
You want to be mad..but you can't. You only take out your wallet and open the door. She quickly follows you and you start walking, searching for a shop. You soon find one at the corner of a nearby street and enter. You start looking around for decent prices while Andy starts piling up sugary sweets upon sugary sweet in the...You turn in the soups alley and Andi grimaces in disgust at nearly every single soup on the shelves. You finally take some, ignoring Andi's complaining. You see that the last tomato soup is on sale and are about to take it when another hand shots up to get it. You turn towards the owner of the hand and see an Indian man with a nice smile. He gives you the soup while apologizing.
" My bad, you spot it first."
You smile back politely and take it. You are about to turn around and go when the man introduces himself while extending your hand towards you.
" I'm Billy. Billy Freeman."
You finally shake his hand with a small smile and nod in acknowledgement before replying.
" I'm Y/N. And this girl here is Andi."
However, the man frowns in confusion before looking behind you.
" Hum..Andi ?"
You turn around and see that Andi is gone. You sigh loudly before groaning.
" This girl I swear.."
You then flash your best apology smile towards Billy.
" It was a pleasure, Billy. But, I need to go."
You start walking towards the cashier, but Billy follows you before adding.
" Wait. I'll search with you."
You are about to refuse, but finally nod in agreement. You need all the help you can get to find the girl, hoping that one of those creepy guys didn't get to her first..You shiver just as the thought and feel the adrenaline rushing through your veins as you start yelling.
" Andi ! Andi ! Where are you ?!"
Billy calls her as well, but you finally have to go through the cashier.
" Please, I lost my...sister. Her name is Andi. Can you call her ?"
The lady only nods before making the call. You stay here, biting your nails out of frustration. One minute, and Andi had disappeared. You don't want admit it, but you like the blond midget. You don't want anything to happen to her until you find her a family or help in any case..Suddenly, the woman smiles and tilts her head towards one of the aisles where two individuals had just gotten out of. One is Andi, munching grumpily on a handful of crisps while the other person, a man, drags her forward. You sigh in relief before running towards them.
" Thank God ! Andi ! I was worried !"
She only rolls her eye dramatically before continuing eating, but you can see that she feels guilty when she whispers.
" Yeah..Sorry.."
You look up to thank the man that had found her and freeze on thee spot when your eyes meet. Somehow, you have this feeling to have already seen him somewhere.. However, he doesn't seem to feel the same way as he only smiles before tilting his head towards Andi.
" You're the sister of the little demon ?"
He asks with a small smile and you nod with a slight smile as well. He extends his hand towards you and you shake it accordingly. However, the moment your hand is in his, you feel as if electricity is coursing through your entire body. He seems to feel it too this time as he immediately steps away with a small frown of incomprehension. However, before you could say anything, Billy appears and takes him by the shoulders in a friendly way.
" Hey, Danny ! I see that you've met the new members !"
Danny ? The name is as familiar as the face, but Danny only shakes his head with a shy smile.
" Yeah. Just found the girl and decided to do a good deed..But, I have to come back to work. I'll see you around."
You don't know who he is addressing those last words too, but you still reply.
" I hope so.."
He looks one last time at you before leaving and suddenly, memories flash in your brain that makes you scream in agony in front of everyone. Andi is by your side in and instant and tries to calm you down, but you feel a painful pang in your chest. You open your eyes wide and feel as if you can't breathe..You thought you had locked her up..But, one glance at Danny, and your old demon got out of his prison. You feel cold arms around your neck as she whispers in your ear.
" hello, sister.."
End of part 1! Tell me what you think!
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