#and why do I not seem addicted to destructive things

[annabelle--cane]

I guess the thing that makes me not so fond of Jon's addiction allegory is that it's only coherent to a certain extent? Like I think people sometimes forget that he's actively violating these people

anon, through no fault of your own you have accidentally hit upon my sleeper agent trigger phrase. I have layers of answers to this.

so first off, yeah, it's not a 1:1 direct metaphor, it's a soupy dream logic fantasy plot device with flavors of a lot of different things. there's quite a lot of addiction in there, there's some abuse of power, there's some cyclical nature of trauma, there's a dash of disability, there's a few notes of gendered violence, there's a good bit of just. violence violence and being kind of a motherfucker because goddammit it feels good to be an active agent about something in your life, even if it's just choosing to be a worse version of yourself than you strictly need to be. a lot of tma's worldbuilding is very allegorical, but apart from aspects of individual statements nothing really matches up quite 1:1 with a real world counterpart, and if more things did then it probably wouldn't be a fantasy show anymore.

secondly. okay to contextualize this answer a little bit I have a kind of hypothetical video essay project about vampirism and addiction that I like to spend a few hours thinking about every so often but am almost certainly never going to make because the full research burden required is a lot higher than I actually have the time to properly do. but because of that I've spent a lot of time sorting through why framing vampires as addicts really works for me in a way that it doesn't seem to for everyone, and I think a lot of my thoughts on that also apply to jon. there's going to be a bit of a detour here before we get back to talking about tma, but we'll get there, I prommy.

I've seen a lot of people take issue with various paranormal addiction allegories because, a lot of the time, the act that is meant to metaphorically represent the act of use itself is something that is directly and inherently harmful to others, e.g. drinking human blood, handing over power to your hedonistic Evil alter ego, holding the cursed amulet and going crazy going stupid, slurping trauma out of the head of some guy you ran into on a boat to norway, etc., and yeah, I do get that. substance use is not inherently harmful like that to anyone except sometimes the user themself, and addicts are not inherently fucked up and destructive people; those are dangerous stereotypes that often lead to the demonizing of a whole group of sick people.

here's the thing for me, though: those are definitely truths I want explored and represented when it comes to portrayals of non-allegorical actual addicts, but fantasy fiction isn't for showing the world as it is, it's for showing a subjective fun house mirror version of reality where certain aspects are minimized and magnified depending on how it feels to live through it. and yes, absolutely in real life drug use is not an inherently evil act and it does not make you an inherently evil person, but... doesn't it kind of feel like that? sort of? absolutely no one is living their best life nor on their best behavior while experiencing any kind of major mental illness episode, and when it comes to addiction you've got a very clear tangible symbol of when The Episode is happening that it feels like you have much more control over than when it comes to other illnesses. it's also a thing where people are a lot more likely to be openly angry and distrustful of you if they find out it's happening. so you mix together the ideas of "I know I get worse as a result of doing this one specific thing" + "I act less like myself when I'm using, it rearranges my priorities and I care less about hurting people because that's what happens when you're experiencing The Horrors" + "society at large/people directly around me are pretty quick to say that doing this is evil," and you get the subjective emotional result of "I hurt people by using and it makes me monstrous." I tend to respond to those kinds of paranormal allegories like they're just cutting out the middle man of those subjective fears. "using makes me monstrous" -> "using is monstrous."

anyway. jon archivist.

don't get me wrong, I totally understand if this aspect of metaphor doesn't gel for some people and they only like taking it exactly as far as the text explicitly makes them, but I really get a lot out of reading jon's connection to the fears as addiction precisely because he does genuinely awful things to people as a result of it. he's a person in a very bad physical and mental place with little to no support who is constantly being told by both allies and enemies that he's already a monster just by being alive, and he copes with that by secretly falling further and further into an compulsive act of consumption that skews his priorities and makes him care less about hurting people because at least sometimes getting to be the cause of pain makes him feel a little bit less powerless when he has to be the subject of pain the rest of the time. then he's found out and is made to stop, and he has to grapple not just with the physical toll of withdrawal but with knowing there is a not insignificant part of him that will excuse any act of malice if he knows he'll feel better afterwards.

the end of tma is very explicit in the fact that the rules of its world are shaped by the subjective worst fears of those who live in it, it's "an exercise in unreliably reality" as jonny sims put it once, and I think that principle extends backwards in some ways to apply to the rest of the show. I don't think the fact that there are only entities of fear and not hope or love is meant to be a full commentary on the total nature of the real world, it's a reflection of what fear and suffering can make the world feel like. eric and melanie both go to really harsh extremes to extricate themselves from the fears and live peaceful lives, and in both cases something happens that foils their plans (getting murdered + the apocalypse, respectively), but I don't think the intended message is to say that is definitively how real life works, they are metaphors for the limits of individual agency in larger systems and represent two types of worst-case-scenarios. similarly, I don't think reading jon as an addict implies that addiction inherently involves violence or that the reactions of those around him were completely unjustified, it's just a subjective exploration of the kinds of fears that can come with addiction dialed up to 100.

#also to be clear after the first paragraph I'm using 'you' in a general sense not directly to You The Anon Who Sent This #I'm not trying to insinuate anything about whether You The Anon Who Sent This does or doesn't have any experience w substance use #tma #answered #anons

[sadnightforus]

ex!sunghoon who you have an on and off relationship with since your high school days and you can’t seem to let each other go, even in college. Your friends are visibly annoyed at how you wouldn’t drop him every time you complained to them, saying that you’ll definitely drop him because all you guys did was destroy each other but you never seem to do as you said anyway. 

ex!sunghoon who becomes your sneaky link and who lets you stay over at his place and vice versa. But every time that happens, you think he’s lingering into your life like a ghost because there’s no trace of the Park Sunghoon you used to know anymore, who is soundly sleeping next to you. 

ex!sunghoon who always says that he’s no good for you and you both are aware that the relationship drags on longer than necessary. It has become to the point that you both are unsure of where you’re standing at this particular point of your relationship with him. 

ex!sunghoon who always claims you’re too emotional but it’s not your fault that you never have a stable relationship with anybody beside him and you showed your vulnerability (part of the reason why you still keep him around). You know you’re tugging at his sleeve and you wear your heart out proudly, but you don’t want to lose the only romantic lover who knows you inside and out. 

ex!sunghoon who always has sad eyes and everything he said is a blatant lie that he whispers into your ears to get away with his wrongdoings but you cast it aside because you love the pain and you’re addicted to this cycle of the torturing love you both share. 

ex!sunghoon who kisses you like you mean something once you both are alone and you could’ve mistaken the intimacy as his confession of his real affection that comes true, but he’s too quick to tell you goodbye once you both are done for the day and left his place, feeling more hollow and emptier each time you did just that. 

ex!sunghoon who knows that what you’re doing is practically self destructive and both self harm but he doesn’t stop you. It feels as good for you as it does for him, but it also kills him that your presence will never hold a long longevity, which is something he wanted from you. He knows that you just need someone who knows you so sickeningly well that you don’t need to explain yourself, while preparing that one day you’ll no longer be in his life anymore. 

ex!sunghoon who is aware that your love will never be permanent and he knows you’re gonna leave. But he’ll let you do as you pleased, until you’re finally snapped and walk out on him, even if it hurts him and he wishes he can say ‘I love you’ to you. 

COPYRIGHTED BY SADNIGHTFORUS, 2024

A/N: the quickest thing I’ve ever written in my entire life. reblogs, comments and likes are appreciated!

#kpop au #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop fanfic #sunghoon au #subghoon x reader #sunghoon angst #sunghoon timestamps #sunghoon fanfic #sunghoon headcanons #sunghoon scenarios #enhypen scenarios #enhypen x reader #enhypen imagines #enhypen reactions #enha angst #enha x reader #enha timestamps #kpop timestamps #sunghoon x reader #park sunghoon angst #park sunghoon imagines

[narumi-gens]

https://www.tumblr.com/narumi-gens/743137015078551552/just-learned-that-nicotine-constricts-blood?source=share

ik this is for different fandom but this post just made me bigger believer of impotent hiromi :3 chainsmoker AND can't get his dick hard?? sign me the fuck up

angst, smoking, minors/ageless/blank blogs dni

instead of being a funny situation that you'll be telling your friends about for years to come, nicotine-induced impotence!higuruma is one big downer unfortunately. his smoking is definitely tied to the stress of his job and how burnt out he feels by it and the system, all of which bleeds into his personal life and it's hard to know if he can't get it up bc of the smoking or bc of his depression (or some larger medical condition that he's too unmotivated to see a doctor about).

he's tried to give up smoking, but all it takes is one long 14-hour day (of which there are many) to have him crawling into bed beside you in the early hours of the morning smelling like stale cigarettes. you don't ever press him about it, knowing that ultimately the decision to quit needs to be his and his alone.

but no matter how much you assure him that you understand how hard it is to give up an addiction, he can't help but let the cynicism that's begun to fester inside of him lash out.

"you want me to quit, don't you?" he asks unprompted over dinner. it's the first night in a while that he's been off work early enough that you can actually share dinner together and you suggested going out to the restaurant around the corner -- one that has an ashtray at every table.

"yes, I wish you would quit," you answer, glancing at the cigarette perched between his index and middle fingers. "but I wish for a lot of things that are out of my control. I wish it would stop raining so much. I wish we could win the lottery. you'll quit when you're ready and I'll be there to help you."

the sincerity in your eyes is too much for him and he takes a long drag from his cigarette. your sincerity is wasted on a world as corrupt and unjust as this one.

it's wasted on a man like him.

"really? you don't miss getting fucked?" he continues, unable to quell the urge to keep pushing you.

"hiromi!" you snap, looking around to make sure that no one heard him. thankfully the restaurant is busy enough that no one is paying you any attention.

"are you embarrassed that your partner can't get it up? you keep saying it doesn't bother you." in fact, you've said it on many occasions, but always in soft reassurances whispered into his ear as you hold him close from behind. you've never said it with as much derision as he says it now.

"I'm embarrassed about discussing our sex life in public," you hiss angrily. you then close your eyes and take a deep breath, paying no mind to higuruma's secondhand smoke that fills the space between you.

when you meet his gaze again, he can see the slight sheen to your eyes. it seems like he's finally pushed you far enough.

"I can't keep having this same fight over and over again, hiromi," you tell him, your shoulders sagging under the weight of your resignation. "I tell you that I don't mind the long hours or the smoking or the intimacy issues or this self-destructive spiral that you're in and you continue to doubt me at every turn."

you pause to let out a heavy sigh, and when you next speak, your voice breaks.

"I love you. why can't you just let me?"

it's a question he doesn't know the answer to. it's one that he refuses to have the answer to.

all he can do is bring his cigarette to his lips and take another long inhale.

#i didn't realize that impotence was such a turn on lol #my poor bathtub lawyer just needs a hug #higuruma hiromi x reader #higuruma hiromi #higuruma hiromi drabble #jjk x reader #jjk drabble #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk spoilers #mel writes #mel answers

[chaifootsteps]

Okay sorry I was talking with my mother

1) I hate sir Pentious’s new character. Sure, he’s fun. But oh my gosh, I miss his old character. The way that’s he’s not at all remorseful and just purely wants destruction  and to rule over the pentagram city. But now he’s too goody goody(I haven’t seen the new episode, pls don’t spoil it), and turned WAYYYY to easily over to Charlie’s anti-Christ ass, and wanting to be redeemed. He should have stayed a spy for longer and I would’ve loved to see his dynamic grow with the Vees(especially Vox) and how he worked for them as a spy. His rape scene wasp so uncomfortable and unnecessary, and speaking of that his and cherris relationship should of never of even been thought about. It’s such an awkward thing, as they’re rivals and Cherri has destroyed things that he’s made and insults him.

2) speaking of Cherri, she offered Angel drugs(which seems like it’s a normal thing for them as she’s so causal about it) when she knew he was there at the hotel that’s for redemption, but also she was so rude to Angel when he was trying to get Nifty out of the cleaning closet??? She’s a much better friend in the pilot and in the addict music video. She’s showing actual friendship and concern for Angel, nothing like she does now.

3) Alastor. Sure, I like his moments, but he’s so painfully edgy it’s not that good. His radio sound effects are good, I miss the old effects that he had in the pilot and his old voice actor, but of course viv is a “it’s my way or the high-way” gal and she dumped all of the previous cast. He’s nearly completely different now, claiming that Charlie is like his daughter(I swear to god he better be manipulative to her in that moment), when in the pilot he openly mocked her and what she was trying to do. He seems way to open about his emotions and wanting r help Charlie, using a TV(???) and playing along when what she wants to do. He also seems to much like an attention whore, which could be a good character trait if he wasn’t the way he is now. Also he’s too touchy touchy with everyone, especially Charlie.

4) Angel dust is not as interesting now as he was to me in the pilot. Now he’s just a porn star who gets raped and abused and is going to be redeemed. I’d love to see his old character traits(from before the pilot and during, such as mafia, insane, violent, ect), rather than just “oh he’s a gay sex spider who sometimes does violence but he’s such a good person now for finding love and refusing drugs!!!! :3”.

5) Husk’s new voice. I see the appeal of his new one, but his old voice actor just hit different. Make that skinny 1970s gambler man sound like he smokes 5 packs a day. Also I can’t stop thinking about the cat from Coraline.

6) almost everything about vaggie. Her design, her actions, and her backstory. It’s cool that she’s a fallen Angel but oh my gosh!! Don’t reveal that in the first season!! Slow burn that shit!! And why did she do quickly realize that he’s murdering ‘innocent souls’?? They’re in hell for a reason, she didn’t have to think that just because it was a kid it was innocent of any crimes it did. They revealed it too soon, it would have been a good twist for season 2.

7) vivziepop seemingly mocks Christianity and I had to look up how Saint Peter looked like, AND SHE WHITE-WASHED HIM SO BAD. HE LOOKS NOTHING LIKE HE SHOULD, AND HES SUCH A COMPLEX PEROSN FROM THE BIBLE AND AND SHORTENED HIS CHARACTER SO BADLY.

Anyways, my TED talk is over. Thank you

Thanks for your TED Talk, Anon. It was an excellent talk.

#Anonymous #vivziepop critical #hazbin hotel critical #viv stuff #actual blog post

[buck-yyyy]

actually i think theo should have done MORE drugs in the movie. there shoulda been more booze too. the goldfinch is not a story about a little rich boy who made One mistake being corrupted by scary teenage alcoholic drug dealer, it’s a story about love life and loss and how people are messy and fuck up and do shitty things, but the movie watered it down and placed so much emphasis on boris’ bad influence on theo to the point where it made it seem like theo only did drugs for boris’ approval, therefore seemingly making boris the cause of his addictions. what about tom cable as a sort of gateway? what about theo’s instant approval when boris offers him a beer? what about his zero mentioned hesitation towards drugs, with the exception of asking a couple questions about acid and turning down the Mystery Powder?

and that’s just the DRUGS, what about the fact that theo has never had a satisfactory relationship with a woman due to seeking out people who fuel his self destructive tendencies in an effort to fill the void that his mother left and that he fails to get pippa to fill? what about the woman who took advantage of him as a young teenager and bought him booze in exchange for sex, as a direct parallel to his prior concern about statutory rape with boris’ comments about xandra? what about the fact that he regularly cheats on his partners? what about how creepy and possessive he is with pippa, how he collects her hair and irrationally hates her boyfriend? why did they go so weak with pippa and make him seem like some sad pine-y puppy dog? what the fuck happened to kotku, further fueling his internalized homophobia by adding conflict around boris both with theo’s obvious feelings for him and boris’ blatant abuse towards her? what about boris mirroring the people around him, saying the N word to seem cool, or tattooing himself to appear jewish to mr. silver in hopes of getting a job? what about boris’ fake very real family to add even MORE subtle conflict with theo’s sexuality? why was hobie always so put together? why was hobie’s speech moved to BEFORE amsterdam and not after, because while i love boris’ ending speech in the movie hobie’s would have been far more impactful and painful? why does movie!theo seem to actually be in love with pippa as opposed to her being the morphine lollipop, as well as an attempt to fill the place his mother left as is specifically addressed BY theo in the book?

the book wasn’t made for thirteen year olds, why did the movie seem to be?

#i’m having thoughts. apologies #the goldfinch #theodore decker #boris pavlikovsky

[relaxxattack]

Hi i want to thank you for the QPR vs Moirail venn diagram. Its a rly excellent way of showing the difference. My gripe is about human romance, and how people will either 1- conflate it in a 1:1 ratio with Matesprit, or 2- claim it is “all the quadrants”. I personally feel both are false equivalency, and that the human romance is similar to both pale and red rom* and SO i was wondering if you agreed w that assessment, or if not, if you have the time to explain your thoughts on human traditional romance vs the quadrants (perhaps w another nifty graph)?

* which is why Rose’s destructive tendencies during sburb & her descent into addiction on the meteor were not addressed by kanaya, who feared palezoning herself like she did with vriska

OH MY GOD! YES!!!! why am i getting such great asks today?!

no, you're EXACTLY right. people are constantly conflating matespritship in those two ways; "all of the quadrants" being especially irritating (since Some humans occasionally argue, Occasionally in a kinky way, and i guess that means that they totally have all of kismesissitude covered?? :/).

matespritship is its very own thing. of the two interpretations above, i feel the idea that it's 1:1 to human romance is the closest to true. i mean, that's what they literally say in the comic, for gog's sake.

humans do not truly incorporate moirallegiance, kismesissitude, or auspisticism into their lives in any meaningful way. while it's possible for humans to sometimes have romances that might seem more like one of those than matespritship, they're considered abnormal or toxic-- and they often ARE, because humans do not have the same sort of biological drives or social understanding of these things that trolls do. humans do not understand the true needs and ramifications, or even the ROMANCE of moirallegiance. humans would be hard pressed to understand a kismesissitude in a 'healthy' way. i don't even need to mention how auspisticism flies over people's heads.

so, yes, humans only have the one quadrant. (and karkat vantas, i am sorry to say, is not going to "human date" anyone as the "solution to his quadrant problems". this would literally be the same as him trying to stick only to matespritship, and we all know exactly how that turned out.)

however! matespritship is not an exact 1:1 on human romance either. the direct quote from the comic is;

"[It's] the closest parallel to the human concept of romance trolls have." [x]

this is not really expanded on much in the text, honestly-- the intricacies of the social and biological traits of matespritship aren't shown enough for us to draw clear distinctions between them and human romance.

however, i think you're right that rose and kanaya are the best example we have of that-- despite them both aiming for matespritship, they have cultural misunderstanding quite often from some of rose's flirting, or even just her needs, crossing wires into a pale threshold that kanaya is weary of.

it's entirely possible that the differences between troll and human "hearts" might have made it difficult for kanaya to really connect with rose's problems and discuss them with her.

which might explain why when things go "better" for them in the retcon, they're portrayed reading a book on troll romance together:

it could be implied here that searching for a more in-depth understanding of quadrants actually helped rose with her ability to connect to kanaya-- and maybe, reading into it a little too hard here, this also could have been an opportunity for kanaya to work through her vriska-based hangups with the pale quadrant. that's entirely speculation on my part, though.

at the end of the day, we don't really KNOW enough about the details of quadrants for me to paint a clear picture of how matespritship differs from human romance. i mean, i could try, but it would certainly be more of a headcanon post than an analysis one!

#madam-melon-meow #homestuck #quadrants #rosemary #thank you so much for the GREAT fucking ask about matespritship ive literally been meaning to talk about it!!! askers reading my mind latel #and thanks double for the chance to ramble about rosemary lol #at this point i'm done apologizing for the quadrant-based autism. y'all are coming to me for it on PURPOSE lol #i am sorry this got so long though 0_0 #long post #hsmeta #op #matespritship

[romeulusroy]

Dependence (Roy!Sibling x Kendall Roy)

((SUCCESSION SPOILERS))

Character/s: Kendall

Word Count: 1,583

Warning: addiction/addiction mention

A/N: Baby girl!!!! I love him so much!!! I love how this turned out too :) it's v angsty, v sad, and hopefully in character! I'm having a lot of fun writing for Succession! 💞 Feedback is always appreciated 💜💜💜

Dependence Pt. 2 / Dependence Pt. 3 / Dependence Pt. 4 /Dependence Pt. 5

Being The Youngest Roy Would Include: Pt. 1

Being The Youngest Roy Would Include: Pt. 2

He smelled rich, sharp, daunting. The kind of scent your father would have worn, the kind men like him always did. Bared their teeth to seem more intimidating. It wasn’t like him at all. You sniffled against his suit, knowing your tears sat damp within the fabric, ruining the press he’d probably had. Ruining everything, like always. His arms wrapped around you so fiercely, so violently, holding you in place. Keeping you from running. Escaping. You were trapped on the boat sure, but there were stairwells, closets, you’d swim back if it meant leaving the scene of the crime. Your mind ran with exits, those bright red signs a welcomed attraction. Anything to get away, to be alone, to self-destruct on your own accord. You rubbed your palms against your pants, itching out of his grip, your sleeves balled into your palms. Whatever this attempt at love was, it was beginning to suffocate. He refused to let go. Anger rose in your throat like bile. A fury you’ve tried to outrun began to settle in the middle of your chest. You wanted to throw the same tantrums your father forbid. Kick, and scream, and break everything in sight. Burn the whole world down if it meant feeling an ounce of relief. Break your own bones if it meant putting out this fire. Numb it all like you’ve been doing your entire life. Maybe your brother knew this. Maybe he didn’t want the scene, the mess, to have to pick up the pieces. Maybe not. Maybe he was just sad, needing someone to hug. You would never be sure.

You stifled a sob, shaking despite yourself. You could see your brother and sister, talking, crying, saying what they needed to. Whatever you said, whatever you told him or begged from him, it was already gone. Forgotten. Your lips moved rhythmically, asking the same thing, but you couldn’t hear it. You couldn’t hear anything, but this high pitch whine.. He rubbed your back, awkwardly at first, hesitant, and then comfortably. Soothingly. His throat vibrating, speaking, again going unheard. You squeezed your eyes shut, not wanting to be here anymore. Not wanting this moment to exist. The last time you’d seen your sister cry, your brother retreat into himself like that, decades ago. Before you knew any of what you knew now. Before you’d been at one another's throats long enough to forget why. The inky black of your world could only do enough. Their voices, muffled, coming back to you. Closer. The hurt dripping from their words like honey. Sticky. Sweet. The fear. You tried to pull away, get some space, air. Again he refused. 

Did I tell him I loved him? Y, yes- of, of course you did. Did I tell him I loved him? 

Your father didn’t love you. He couldn’t stand to look at you in your later years. It was your brothers, sister, coming to your rescue. Scheduling cars, calls, making space for you on their couches, spare rooms, while you picked yourself up from rock bottom. Detoxing in their bathrooms, their beds. All you knew was excess. Excess wealth, yes, but also booze, drugs, pills. Everything except love. Using since you were a child, too young to understand, old enough to know no matter what you did, it would never be what he wanted. Taking drinks of silver platters, mixing whatever you found in the bathroom cabinet, what you found in your brothers pockets, sick as a dog in the morning. He had to know. There were always eyes watching, ears listening, someone to leave clean clothes on your bed when you threw up on yours in the middle of the night or when blood ran from your nose down the front of your shirt. And yet, he never said a thing. He never thought you should see someone, talk it out, get help. The baby of the family. The most expendable. Con was already out by the time you came around, the rest following. An accident, they’d all joked as soon as you were old enough. There was some truth to it, though. A hard truth. Logan ignored Connor, he hit Roman, disregarded Shiv, he thought Ken was incompetent, but you? He loathed you for reasons you’d never get answers to. Too much like your mother, your sister thought. Too much like him, your brother said. Whatever it was, whatever reminder you were, it was enough for him. You weren’t trying to outrun him, his disappointment, his wrath, but rather your own. 

You’d always been an angry kid. Overcome, blinded, by rage. You couldn’t put it into words. You didn’t have the vocabulary. You shattered glasses. Slammed doors. Banged your head against walls. Screamed into pillows until your voice was coarse. When bruises showed, when tabloids dragged your name before you were twelve, you’d receive the only fatherly advice you’d ever get in your life. Summoned to his study, barely taller than the door handle. He didn’t even look up from his papers. When he was done, only two words spoken, the housekeeper led you out. Quiet down. As if you weren’t barely keeping yourself together as it was. You’d kicked a hole through the wall after that, your shoes dusty with plaster. You threw everything in your room like a tornado until, eventually, he took those things away. A bed, a dresser, that was all you were allotted. They tried to help. To understand. To give you advice. What was there to say? How could you defend yourself? He was so much bigger than you, so much more powerful. When your fork ended up in the table, he sent you to your room for days at a time. The door wasn’t locked, but it didn’t need to be. Every so often you could see him, in the crack between the floor, standing there, not saying a word. It wasn’t long after that that you had your first drink. Romans, you think, left unattended. Brown, thick, smelling of gasoline and tasting of fire. It wasn’t a lot, but enough. Enough to settle the fury. Turn the heat down. Take the edge off. Everything clicked. This is what he must have meant. Quiet down. Do what you needed to do without the allegations scorning his name. Do it in secret. 

They didn’t always know when you were drunk, high, both. You weren’t messy, you weren’t about to cause a scene or ruin your fathers reputation. The volume was turned down, that was all. It took them longer than any of them would like to admit to realize that you weren’t okay. That the occasional drink or sip was an everyday occurrence, that those long trips to the bathroom and bloody noses weren’t a coincidence. They had their own lives now, their own affairs. What their baby sibling did was not that the top of their priority list. You didn’t mind. It wasn’t their job to take care of you, it wasn’t your father or mothers, who moved away soon after your anger disappeared, sure you were finally okay. It was your job. Always had been. Now you saw her on holidays if you were lucky, once or twice a year. She thought you’d be better off with him. Leaving a baby in a wolfs den. No wonder you ended up the way you did: a complete disaster. You tried to get sober on you own. Stop cold turkey. That never lasted long. Not that he cared. The first time you overdosed, the second, third, he swept it under the rug. It was easier dealing with you now that you were sedated. A shell. You wouldn’t have gone to rehab if they hadn’t forced you, tricked you with an intervention. Again and again, they did this. For years. When you stayed with your mother, things were more bearable, but she didn’t want a child. She didn’t want to be a mother, so, when she grew tired, she’d ship you off to him again. 

Today, you were clean just over a year. From everything. You didn’t do chips or meetings, that would mean admitting to the public that you had a problem, and that wasn’t something you were allowed to do. This was an internal clock. Every day you wanted to cave in and every day you found a reason not to. Today you didn’t have one. Not a single reason came to mind. Because the man you spent your entire life being afraid of was dead and your family was falling apart at the seams. Con didn’t even know. No one had told him yet. Tom stayed on the phone, but no one was speaking. No one had anything to say.  Kendall never loosened his grip. He never let go. He wouldn’t not for a long time, not until he knew you’d be okay on your own. Too many times he’d failed you as an older brother. Every time he let Logan near you was a failure on his part. He was dead. He couldn’t hurt you anymore, but you could hurt yourself and sometimes that was more dangerous. Of course you’d told him you loved him. Of course you did. Even when you didn’t, even when you couldn’t, you did. He did, for the both of you. He wasn’t a perfect big brother, he wasn’t even a good one, but he could try now. He had to try now. For all the times he hadn’t been there. All those years.

#writing #kendall roy #kendall roy x reader #kendall roy imagine #succession #succession x reader #succession imagine #kendall roy x sibling reader #kendall roy x gender neutral reader

[reyanfia]

the warrior and his healer — neteyam x reader ☄. *. ⋆➢ part three!

other chapters are up! read it here -> chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 4

setting: awa'atlu, pandora.

pairing: neteyam x fem!metkayina!reader

warnings: for this chapter, a shit ton of emotion, mentions of bl00d, & angst.

summary: the rda has targeted your village, and neteyam insists that you stay back. but being your stubborn self, you leave and follow after them anyway.

a/n: i swear teyam is not dying in this one, okay? he's alright. i wouldn't be so cruel. and uhh yesterday's chapter felt empty and boring so im going like all in for this one

anyways, enjoy!! this was barely proofread btw since i completed the other half of this chapter in a rush goodbye lmfao

after a few days of acknowledging your feelings, seeing neteyam, anywhere, was starting to become a challenge.

on eywa. you wished you could throw these feelings out the window. you wished you could see whatever you were feeling so that you could crumple it up and dispose of it.

but oh, that was not what your heart wanted.

those feelings that your mind despised — your dear heart yearned for more of it. it was addicting. it's new, and it is unfamiliar. and yet, it had become your favourite thing to feel.

when you would look his way, you would feel that sense of adoration and fondness. and if he ever caught you staring, he'd smile and everything around you would become meaningless. invisible.

people could see, how you started to stare at the ground more often. they didn't know why. in truth, you were trying your hardest to not let your eyes roam around, afraid of accidentally catching a glance at him and end up looking like a literal plum in front of everybody.

studying, whether alone or with him, was also becoming harder. the salves on those shelves would remind you of those evenings when you'd have to tend to him, and those nights where you'd try the ones you've created on him. and if he was there with you — accompanying you in your marui, your heart would start to race. looking at him. touching him in the slightest ways. everything, has become difficult.

but you don't know if he shared your feelings.

he was so hard to read, it's starting to drive you crazy. how he acted around you was just the same in front of everyone else — smiling at everyone, helping everyone. if you thought he did something he only did for you, it seemed pretty much like you were wrong. patting your back when you're down? sweet! but then he goes and does it to other girls too.

you could feel that hope dying. well great, that was what you always wanted. right?

nope. no, you were absolutely wrong. because deep down in your heart, you never wanted this feeling to end.

but everything comes to an end, doesn't it?

— ☄. . ⋆✧ .

"no. no no no, this can't happen."

a few days ago, the news about the destruction of the ta'unui clan spread like wildfire in your clan. you heard it first from tsireya, and others came to tell you the same thing.

your studies had become the least of your priorities. you could envision the villagers of the ta'unui, how they looked, and how they felt as the RDA demolished their home in the blink of an eye.

the ta'unui people in your head started to distort, and slowly they were replaced with the metkayina. the awa'atlu village. your home, and everything you loved.

neteyam.

and everything was at risk now. people around you are crying, scrambling around, not knowing what to do. are we done for? the tsahìk's spirit sister had been killed. aritxa could be next. so is this it? this is ridiculous. you didn't want to die this way. even if eywa told you herself that this was meant to happen, like hell would you accept it.

your mother wiped the tears off of your panicked face, bringing you into the longest embrace you've ever had with her.

"oh, my love, do not weep. it hurts me seeing you like this," your mother's downhearted voice struck you right in the heart. never in your life had you thought you'd see her so miserable, so dejected.

"let me come along! please, i can't just let you and father go, what if you get hurt? what will become of me—"

your words instantly turned into sobs at the thought of seeing your parents hurt, all bloody and lifeless. and though you were trying your hardest to conceal it, anyone outside your marui could hear you. yet, they wouldn't care. everyone's lives were in danger. another's tears would be yours.

both your parents hugged you so tight, you could barely breathe. you didn't care. if this is how you'd die, at least it was in your parents' arms.

your father kissed you on the head before leaving, with the saddest smile on his face, along with your mother.

they were walking right into battle.

in the corner of your eyes, you saw neteyam coming towards you, with such a disheartened look on his face. you were astonished as to how he wasn't crying. not a single tear. his eyes didn't look like he was crying.

"teyam, please let me come with you."

that hoarse voice of yours nearly convinced him. but it takes a lot more than that for him to put you at risk.

no words came out of him.

nothing.

because he didn't need words.

just like how your parents did, he held you in his arms, so hard he didn't want to let go. when you both pulled away, he held your face in your hands meeting your bloodshot, puffy eyes. he never wanted to see you liked this. and he's making sure he won't, ever again.

"i can't let you, ______. how i wish i could have you alongside me, but no. i can't have you hurt. you, are the healer. who'll be fixing my cuts and bruises if you're not there, hm?"

your eyes cast down to the ground, wincing at his words. but he only brought your head up again so you would look at him. "i'll come back, for you. alright? i swear."

you huffed. "you better."

giving his last smile before he left, he ruffled your hair, and then off he was.

— ☄. . ⋆✧ .

time was passing.

the village was dreary. there were a few younger children and their mothers who were told to stay back, still crying.

you were trying your best to not jump into the sea right now.

you looked into the distance. you could hear the slightest sounds of gunshots, screeches of the tsuraks, and the war cries of your people.

every second passing was riling you up.

you looked down, fiddling with your fingers, attempting to calm your cries. your thoughts went back and forth in your head, "should i stay? or should i go? no, they told me to stay, i'll only bother them. oh — but what if they are hurt?"

and you hated yourself for disobeying your loved ones, but if any of them got hurt, you knew you wouldn't forgive yourself if you didn't.

standing up to your feet, you pushed aside the marui entrance, called for an ilu and off you went.

it took some time to get to the three brother's rocks, and you were trying your hardest to stay out the radar of the sky people.

finally arriving at the ship, you unlinked your queue from the ilu and swam around, looking for your friends and the sully kids. your breathing was starting to quicken as you tried to push away any negative thoughts. you had to find them.

"get on!" tsireya's voice was heard.

you whirled around, swimming in the direction of her voice. sadly, your weak heart was not ready for what you saw.

lo'ak was putting pressure on the wound. and neteyam, he could barely speak.

"oh no. no no, there's no time for this. uh—"

you hushed your voice, and hushed your panicking. you called for the ilu, and it swiftly came in just a second. "lo'ak. we must go back. now get on, keep putting pressure on the wound. try your best to not let any blood out." you voice came out stern, and he followed your orders.

tsireya helped lo'ak carry neteyam onto the ilu. neteyam was in between you and the younger sully.

you told the ilu to ride back home. and fast.

—

reaching shore, all of you got off your ilus and dashed straight to your marui.

your breathing was heavier than neteyam's, as you started to work on his wound.

"tsireya, please prepare the tawtsngal bandage while i clean the wound."

she did as told and went to your shelves to get the necessary items.

all your healing salves were already on the floor next to you, so you didn't have to run back and forth through the marui to get things.

"the sky demon's weapon went all the way through. okay, that's good, i won't have to dig for it. oh, my eywa." you were trying to quiet yourself as you started to slather the paste onto the entrance and exit wound, the salve naturally cleaning up the blood on the skin. you winced when you looked at the bloody flesh, nearly crying.

your eyes glanced to neteyam's face every once in a while, making sure he wasn't in too much pain. he was still breathing, that's what mattered.

tsireya came running to you with the bandage, woven out of tawtsngal stem. you quickly wrapped it around his chest, tightly so the blood would stop pouring out.

"we — will stitch him up after the blood stops. it won't be too long — since this paste is quick to stop it," your voice gets cut off at every tight knot you made with the bandage to secure it in place.

"are— are his lungs unhurt?" lo'ak asked you. "looking at the position of the, uh, shot, it has missed his organs."

you took another look at the bandaged wound, as if checking to be sure. it's not like you could see it anyway.

neteyam's eyes were closed so you checked his pulse. it was stable. a little slow, but stable.

"he will be okay. i'll make sure of it." you said at last, comforting yourself and the younger sully. tsireya let out the biggest sigh of relief.

he will be okay. he has to.

©ronalsgirl

give this baby some love guys

tagging: @azaleaniath @theycallmesia @saturnheartz @mirikusashes @thesecretsoftheuniverse @fanboyluvr @neteyamforlife @xaoxin @naynay2808

tags that won't work: @amortencjja @thatonegirlwiththebeanie367 @goatmilkaddict @erenjaegerwifee [help im actually confused are these "not working tags" working or nah? cus when i type the user in after the @ it doesn't show up but it still links to your guys' accounts somehow]

those who request to be in the taglist under this chapter, will be tagged in the next one. thank you!

final part will be out soon! :]

#neteyam sully #neteyam imagine #neteyam #neteyam sully x y/n #neteyam x reader #neteyam x you #neteyam sully x female reader #neteyam sully x you #neteyam x metkayina!reader #neteyam avatar #neteyam fluff #neteyam sully x reader #neteyam fic #avatar 2 #avatar #avatar the way of water #avatar way of water #james cameron avatar #avatar 2009 #avatar fluff

[crescentmoonlupin]

If you need help, I'm here to listen..

There are days that are easier than others. When you have depression, you tend to feel like the world is against you and it just feels like a constant battle that no matter how hard you fight, how much experience you have with it, it just never seems to be enough to throw at the problem. And of course, giving up is never ever an option cause once you do, the monster you are battling just gets bigger. Bigger to the point you just must live with the drooling, foaming beast.

I’ve had depression for a number of years, as of 2024, it’s been about 14 years since I was originally diagnosed, but about 17 since it first manifested itself within my mind. It's never been an easy beast to live with. I’ve tried destroying it by destroying myself. I held it down, but the bubbles never stopped coming up. I tried to drown it in sex, making it seem like the reason I was upset so much was because I was alone and needed the company to get me through, I cut myself so I could hold some sort of “control” over it but, of course that never works. Eventually it becomes an addiction that you don't realize you started, and it takes everything in you to stop. Years even.

To this day, I am still self-destructive. Some days, I wish I could still continue hurting myself, but I know its counterproductive, it’ll never solve anything. It just hurts everyone else who happens to catch it when the wounds are fresh. Cutting myself didn’t make me feel better in the sense I thought it would, it just gave me a false sense of control over something I didn’t have control over. The chemicals in my brain didn’t do what they were supposed to when they were supposed to, and I suffered the consequences.

I wanted to blame everyone else for my problems. My mother, my father, my stepparents. Sisters. Everyone who wasn’t me. “You made me do this!” I’d say, when really, I was the one who put the razor or knife to my skin and pulled. I made it count, I counted every mark, and it’s not a pretty number. Not only did I cut but I carved words into my skin, so I would remember why I did it in the first place. So many initials. Failure. Perfect. HIT ME! I’M NOTHING! Sorry :] Smile. And the list goes on from there. Now it’s just a bunch of scars.

I’m not ashamed of them, and I don’t really regret them, they’re part of me and it was what I thought I needed at the time, ultimately, I was wrong in the end, but teenagers never listen, do they?

I do wish I could go back though, and just talk to myself. Tell myself it does, eventually, gets better. That things do start going right, years down the road. That it’s not worth it to be so angry all the time, and to learn to love myself sooner so I didn’t have t struggle as badly as I am now at almost 30, because yes, we do make it past the age of 18, as surprising as that is for me to even believe to this day. Eventually we meet a man who loves us in his own special way, and we have the most beautiful son to raise together. And he loves that little boy as if he was made from his own blood. He reads him bedtime stories and helps him learn to walk. He teaches him to ride a bike and plays in his sandbox with him, the one he made him for his second birthday.

Things do get better, but you have to fall down so you can get back up, so you can grow up the way you need to, because it is necessary. Because as soon as you heard that little boy’s heartbeat for the first time, you know, you just knew, that everything was going to change and you knew that you would do anything for him, even if it meant changing everything so he could grow up better than you did. So, he can go farther than you ever got. So, you can make sure he is actually stable and doesn’t have to recover from his childhood. Make sure he is okay and knows he is heard.

I just hope I’m doing the right things when it comes to that little boy because I don’t know where I’d be or who I would be without him. There’re days where I struggle and all I want to do is to curl up into a ball and cry till I fall asleep. But I have this little boy watching me every day and I just have to keep going to make sure he has everything he needs to grow into a respectable human and a caring man. Fight for what’s right but know when to step back as well.

#support #self harm #recovery #growing up #im here #ill listen #you are not alone #no matter what #seek help #you are enough #depression #cutting #cutter #you are loved #you matter

[fruitsoxs]

everything's changed

pairing(s); wolfwood x (GN) reader warnings; past self destructive thoughts from wolfwood- but it's really pure fluff word count; 500 notes; a little bit of fluff to make you smile on this wonderful ww wednesday

He can't help himself when he sees your face lit up by the stars in the night sky. Usually Wolfwood is reserved when it comes to physical affection, but tonight he finds himself reaching out without thinking. Putting an arm around your shoulders he presses you against him, rubbing his hand up and down your arm to help warm you up. His lips turn up into a smile when he feels you lean against him. 

“Why aren’t you in bed?” You ask tilting your head up to look at him.

He lets out a long breath and shrugs. “I just can’t sleep.” He admits. He’s just got too much going on inside his head. Too many thoughts. Not that he would even try to sleep knowing that you’re still up. You always did love looking at the stars. And he loves gazing at you.

His mind may be fuzzy at the moment, but one thing is perfectly clear; he truly has fallen for you. And he has no idea what to do with that information. In his position, love should be avoided. He’s used to being disposable weight in this world. Ready to be thrown out when the time comes. He shouldn’t anchor himself with silly things like feelings. Yet, the moment you waltzed into his life everything seemed to change. 

Now, he fights every day to keep himself alive. Just so he can see that sweet smile that so often graces your lips.

Your eyes seem to bear into his soul at this moment. With a slight frown you mumble, “What’s on your mind?” He’s so lucky to have someone worry for him as much as you seem to.

He doesn’t know how to say that everything is fine. His mind isn’t clouded by negative thoughts. He’s truly at peace in this moment- because the only thing on his mind is you. You and your beautiful eyes, your addictive lips, and everything else about you that he loves. He just can’t stop thinking about you.

He lets out an airy laugh and looks up at the sky. “You are.” he admits, staring at the beautiful balls of light that dot the sky. He tightens his hold on you for a second, squeezing you close. It seems as if you do not know what to say, and instead you look up at the sky as well. The two of you sit like that for a second, gazing at the sky in a pleasant silence. 

He could stay like this for years and be perfectly content. 

“I think I love you.” He knows he loves you.

“I love you too.” He’s not surprised by your words, but they knock the air from his lungs all the same. 

You love him too. 

He smiles up at the night sky.

#wolfwood x reader #nicholas d wolfwood x reader #wolfwood x you #ww wednesday

[cyberpunk-20xx]

Kerry's situation is a very painful reminder of how fucked up the game's canon society is, even to the rich people. Which is maybe my biggest gripe with the game. A game where I'm not given even the slightlest chance to change shit around me, a game that's just so pessimistic and cruel in how it treats its characters, so hopeless, is not punk. but that's smth else entirely to talk about.

Back to Kerry. He's less suicidal at the end of the game when V reached out and helped some to sooth his trauma about Johnny, even if one could argue it's maybe just, well, putting him back where he started or indulging a toxic fixation. Depends on your interpretation. But his situation hasn't actually changed, he's still held by his label in a death grip, even if at least his current manager's supposedly out of the picture. But even that i don't believe. All we know for sure is that we burned his yatch. Like. Kerry tells us that his MSM Record manager (can't remember his name and be bothered to check) makes him drink on purpose to get him to sign shit, which is blatant abuse and all we get to do is fucking burn a boat? Let me make the dude a corpse, even if you make me have to work for it jfc.

I really love when fanfic writers actually address that issue btw, because it really hurts me to think about him being left in this bullshit. And in so many endings we know his situation is less than ideal even with V.

Kerry's profound unhappiness is visible in many ways: the state of his house, his insinuated addictions, his impulsive, self-destructive behaviors, his tendency to lash out and paranoia to assume people are against him, and overall defensiveness, his fear of the unknown, his clinging to fame, his refusal to see his kids, his mentioned and hinted suicide attempts. He's a guy who, at 89, doesn't seem to me like he knows what he wants, what he needs.

Personally, it both hurts me and makes me really like him, because I find him relatable in how he reacts to despair. In that aspect, I find him very well-written, even if a lot of shitty tropes and pop star stereotypes are used. Yes, pop stars one.

(One other thing that's devastating about Kerry is that he's a rocker, but he doesn't act like one, according to his own definition (which seems to really just be Johnny's shitty macho definition altho it's a whole label that precedes both of them in the TTRPG lore). Which wouldn't be a problem to me if he also didn't find the genre inferior to rock.)

But what fucks me up the most is that he's dealing with despair at all, when out of the four LIs, he's the one that has the safest, most stable life. Hell, he could even easily leave Night City and never look back, and still create, he's got the money for it, it might sound terribly materialistic of me but the man has enough money to just no longer be dealing with all this shit. But he's stuck there because even at nearly fucking nine decades of life, he's not yet felt seen, heard, or acknowledged. He's still scrambling for his roots and something to look forward at once.

Kerry is 89 and has the self-esteem of a 23 years old still.

If I just listen to my basest instincts, I blame Johnny for a lot of that, but that's the easy way, actually. If I actually think about it, Kerry's responsible of his own life too, and Johnny got nothing to do with how he feels out of touch with his Filipino roots, or him being a burnt out rockstar, Johnny is not that powerful at all, and mostly I blame Arasaka and the corps, and i blame the music industry in the game especially actually, i blame the media and the fans for how Kerry bit by bit stops feeling human in the spotlight, but the thing is, it's harder to be angry at those, even in game. Because we're not actually given meaningful ways to do something about inequality in game, and when you're unable to fight something, your brain becomes apathetic to it. It's just a survival thing. my brain does that a lot. i prize my anger a lot because of that (probably why i am so attached to Johnny tbh).

I think Kerry craves to be seen as the man he is, but his ways to try and fix that is to feed the demigod image his career upholds. I'm mad we can't do something about it, nor see the change he deserves happen. I'm mad a game with "punk" in its name is so hopeless and cynical.

#kerry eurodyne #cp 77 #cyberpunk 2077 #cyberpunk kerry #cp77 kerry #just copypasted from my rambles and edited it a little #as per usual #discord thoughts

[flightfoot]

Plagg’s story

I’ve really loved how, over the course of the series, we get hints about Plagg’s backstory, what he’s done, how he’s been treated as a result, and how he’s been slowly healing while he’s been with Adrien.

For instance, we hear a lot about how he was responsible for killing the dinosaurs. He’s commented on it several times, and even Su-Han brought it up. That sort of destructive power, even though it being unleashed was accidental, is why people are so alarmed at the thought of him running free and using his power without a Holder (not that it’s super safe for ANY kwami to use it without a Holder)

Tikki: (to Plagg, who is trying to break through out) Don't waste your energy, we can't go through it, it's magic! This is all because of your cheese addiction. Plagg: I still have my catacly- Tikki: No, you can't control it! Your cataclysm could destroy the whole city and make things even worse.

Notably, Plagg actually has better control over his Cataclysm than he’s given credit for. He did a decent job reigning it in during Style Queen (though the damage still needed to be repaired immediately afterwards) and he was able to use it successfully during Heroes Day to help get Gorizilla to let go of Adrien - something Adrien trusted Plagg to do.

(Gorizilla is taking Adrien away from the fight; Plagg and Adrien look at each other, and after Adrien gives him an approving nod, Plagg sneaks behind the two and blows on the ground below them to make Gorizilla drop Adrien; when he does, Adrien runs and hides) Plagg: (flies over to Adrien) See that? I barely destroyed anything. Adrien: (pats Plagg's head) You're a true hero.

As much as Plagg’s given flak for the harm he’s caused with his destructive power, he’s arguably the one who’s been able to control his power without a wielder most effectively. As much as he likes to give the impression of being lazy and not caring about the consequences of those cataclysms, he seems to have worked to try and get better at not causing disasters he didn’t intend - with some success, even.

But his past damage has caused him to be treated as a kwami to be held on a leash, even more than the other kwamis. Su-Han, for instance, is alarmed at the thought of Plagg running around.

Su-Han: So this is the modern world: protected by a group of careless fools. Guardians must never wear a Miraculous! Some jewels missing and Plagg roaming free?! The end of dinosaurs and dragons - doesn't that alarm anyone?!

Even knowing that Plagg has a Holder isn’t enough to mollify Su-Han, since a Guardian isn’t keeping an eye on him personally.

We see how Plagg is used to needing to sneak around in order to do the things he wants, to have a bit of freedom, in Sandboy - unlike Tikki who just tells Marinette what she’s doing. And we get to see how deeply it affects Plagg when Adrien tells him that he doesn’t have to do that.

Plagg: (sees Marinette's and Tikki's snuggles and groans) Hmpf… (Plagg floats to Adrien in his room and hugs him; the latter is surprised) Thank you Adrien! Adrien: Plagg! Something wrong? Plagg: No… Just… Thanks for letting me do whatever I want. Almost all the time. Adrien: I know what it's like to have your freedom restricted, Plagg. You don't need to pretend to be a sock. Plagg: (hugs Adrien) You're the best Cat Noir I've ever had, Adrien! (lets go) But, let's not get too cheesy about it now, huh? (Adrien snickers)

All of this leads into Transmission, where Plagg has some little bits of his character come out in the way he tells Adrien that he’s taking his Miraculous from him in order to allow him to pursue the relationship he wants. We see both Tikki’s and Plagg’s approach to this, which makes the little differences in Plagg’s speech stand out more.

Like this little add-on, here - Plagg didn’t need to say this. Tikki didn’t. But Plagg’s felt bad about some of the harm he’s caused, as much as he pretends not to care, and he admires how Adrien’s stuck to his principles and been able to keep from destroying anything he didn’t want to, or anything he’d regret (the Christmas tree in Santa Claws comes to mind, with how he couldn’t destroy the tree, how he stopped himself and destroyed his own ad instead). 

And then there’s this little final farewell that both Plagg and Tikki gave:

While Tikki says “I’ll never forget you, Marinette,” Plagg says “You’ll never forget me, Adrien!” As opposed to how Tikki’s giving a pretty standard reassurance to Marinette that she treasured their time together, Plagg’s is a little nonstandard. I think he’s reassuring himself that Adrien treasured their time together, because Plagg’s not used to humans, at least, caring for him on a deep personal level. The audio even makes it sound like Plagg’s wildly sobbing as he flies off, which doesn’t happen for Tikki. Even though Plagg was the one to suggest doing this, it hurts him a lot - but he’s willing to go through that hurt for the sake of Adrien’s happiness, because he cares about Adrien like he’s never cared about anyone else before, with the possible exception of his fellow kwamis.

I really love Plagg and how the story around him has slowly been hinted at, as he’s gone through character growth over the course of the show.

#miraculous ladybug #plagg #ml analysis #ml transmission #transmission spoilers #ml spoilers

[allthecanadianpolitics]

Before I say anything else I want to be clear about two things.

One, if you don't have the energy to respond to this/don't want it on your blog I totally understand.

Two this really is in good faith. I'm not playing devils advocate and I'm not trying to prove a point or do a gotcha or anything.

In regards to the involuntary treatment for addiction(and for mental health issues in general), I don't entirely see the problem, and I was hoping you (or someone responding to your blog) could explain why it's such a bad idea.

I understand that these systems provide the perfect opportunity for serious abuse, and I also understand that they fundamentally are violating a person's freedoms.

I also understand that harm reduction options, like safe usage sites, are the best way to go, and that we should be putting our energy and resources into those.

But I also know in my own experiences I do not always have my best interests in mind, and sometimes I need someone to make me do the right things for myself.

My mental health has never gotten so bad that I have been institutionalized, so I may just not be fully grasping the depth of the flaws in the institutions, or I may not be properly understanding the state of mind of someone who is institutionalized.

However, it feels like assuming everyone will always make the right choices for themselves in the context of addiction and mental health, which doesn't seem like a responsible assumption to make.

Obviously I'd rather these institutions not have to exist, and instead provide people support before it reaches the point these systems are used, but we are not at that point yet, and it seems to me like involuntarily treatment is important in the interim.

Is this a situation where we should allow people to make a decision destructive to themselves rather than remove their freedom to make that decision? Or am I oversimplifying it?

I really am asking genuinely, and I'm very open to someone changing my mind. I just can't understand the issue at the moment.

Answer by @politicsofcanada:

There are a few reasons why I oppose involuntary commitment/involuntary treatment.

First of all, it doesn't work. Overwhelmingly, being institutionalized against your will does not benefit your mental or physical health. I studied this in college as well as having firsthand experience. The isolation and judgement that come with being institutionalized make people more likely to use substances to cope. Also, it is akin to being sent to jail for being mentally ill (which also happens but I won't get in to that right now). I've been in these places and they are not comforting, welcoming, or supportive environments. The concept of being sent to jail for being mentally ill should be more than enough to make people oppose this.

These places are rife with abuse and mistreatment. Staff are often violent, condescending, and sometimes sexually abusive. Much like the prison system, (because it operates in nearly exactly the same way) people of colour, poor people, and lgbtq+ people are overrepresented in the system. Marginalized people are more likely to experience addiction as a result of alienation from society, and involuntary commitment only makes that sense of alienation worse. Overwhelmingly, the best support one can offer someone experiencing addiction is safe supply, safe consumption sites, and community support.

Community support is far more effective than institutionalization. The only reason people prefer to lock people with addictions away is because its more convenient not to deal with them. Actually caring about people dealing with this means including them in your community, not locking them away.

[divinekangaroo]

The thing about Lizzie in S6 as well is she’s had to deal with the trauma of knowing Tommy would have actually committed suicide if not for Arthur. This wasn’t simply destructive or risky behaviour, this was an actual outright suicide attempt.

And the thing about suicide is those who are left behind can have that sense of ‘why was I not enough for them? What did I do wrong?’

So yes Lizzie lashed out in that scene in the mud, with pain and shame and familial duty because instinctively she would be aware of that pattern visible of Tommy responding to pain and shame and familial duty more than comfort, and she would have been feeling her own pain and shame, but those four years after? Watching him sever himself down but also watching him soften and reach out for his kids almost apologetically, in a way he’s never quite done before? She’s caught in a fear of him doing it again, she’s trying to work out how to make it not happen again, but she’s also afraid of having that responsibility, and I think sometimes that broken-carer relationship between her and Tommy in S6 is quite unfair on her because how is she supposed to help him the way he seems to want her to do, when he won’t fully explain himself or uses symbolic language she can’t interpret? (Arguably he is explaining himself very well, but it’s not on a wavelength she can interpret, and that’s the painful bit. He reaches, she reaches, they miss.)

So she desperately wants to be with him and see him demonstrate outright desire to live (passion), and I imagine post attempt he puts in a huge effort for this, and she sees his rejection of drinking and drugs as positive; but by S6 he’s instead closed right up and she’s very worried, matters like the addiction rejection she sees instead as hyper-control almost compulsive-in-the-inverse behaviours which are at another damaging extreme, plus it means he no longer is participating in his ‘nice things’ (desire to live and enjoy) and is at the point of maybe thinking, if this is inevitable, do I need to leave to protect myself from the pain of him committing suicide and feeling responsible? Hence that back and forth I see in her in S6, where she doesn’t really want to go no matter what he does but also can’t not think about leaving.

Problem is, by then even leaving wouldn’t help, because maybe the leaving is then seen as a trigger for the act, and she’d be left with even more guilt. I do think hearing he went off alone and died, with every implication that it was suicide, would absolutely destroy her in a way Ruby’s death and everything else he’s done hasn’t, and am keen to write this and how she comes back from it at some point.

#tw: suicide #peaky blinders #tommy x lizzie

[rockanroller]

Honestly episode 4 wasn’t too bad, and this coming from someone whose been SA. surprised Ralph isn’t credited as a writer some this pretty much is just there fan comics and Valentino animatics, like viv stole all their ideas lol.

introducing Valentino is episode 2 was a bad idea because he’s voice performance is the absolute worst, they stepped it up in episode 4 by not giving him many lines and putting a voice filter on him. The stuff with Husk was ok, I can’t see them as a ship I just see them as the friend Angel needs and not a boyfriend, I didn’t think they’d drop his backstory so soon into the show and honestly I’ve seen fans do better lol

Loser baby is a nice song but not something you’d sing for someone whose been SA and is on a self destructive path. it’s a song that should’ve been saved for Charlie and Husk. Poison was definitely voyeuristic like if they wanted to show the mental effect it has on Angel they could’ve showed the aftermath of him beat up, crying just having a full blown panic attack like they did with addict. Idk why they villanious and disrespect sex work so much lol it’s painted as a negative and something to be shameful about,

Animation was really good, just these designs are so ugly

that's fair. i've seen some saying it's absolutely god-awful, while others have said it was good, or it was ok and they can see the potential / the aim but the execution missed the mark, etc.

idk if i'll be able to watch it anytime soon, lots of what i've seen has left such a rotten taste in my mouth/stomach that i'll have to give myself a few days or weeks before i attempt it.

they...put a voice filter...on Valentino...? what kind of filter?? what??? i can also understand seeing Husk and Angel more as friends than boyfriends. even tho i haven't seen the episode, the bits and pieces that've come across my feed have given me that same impression.

for Loser Baby i haven't heard it but i got the same impression you did, and the concept of it being a Husk and Charlie song sounds like a *much* better and more fitting idea. Loser Baby *felt* like it was attempting to do a "this sucks so make the best of it" or "you'll only be seen as trash so embrace it" empowerment thing but all i've seen and heard it seems to feel more "it won't get better so don't try" or smth like that.

i just caught Poison on my feed w/o the music and it was rough. i def agree with you that if it'd been more like Addict it would've been better, but this felt very "sex sells" and i don't think that's the right "rise" to attempt to get out of your audience when touching on SA, it felt more like...i feel like there's term for it i'm forgetting but it's like a type of masochistic/pity fetish where the narrative attempts to get the viewer sexually invested in a tragic character if that makes sense? idk how to explain it, i'll make a follow-up post if it comes back to me.

animation was fine from what i saw, seemed to be the most consistent (so far) but it still suffered from the quick / constant unnecessary and jarring camera shifting the rest of the show suffers from imo.

ty for sharing your thoughts!

#poison critical #angel dust critical #hazbin hotel critical #vivziepop critical

[spaggyspagly]

a theory and some hcs i have on rocket anything after screenshots is what i speculate about him would've posted this sooner like on his birthday but i got nervous on how people would see this but oh well fuck it we ball tw for self-destructive behaviors, addiction, mentions of violence and ptsd!!! stay safe all ❤️ (copy and pasted from a friend's dms)

"me and another person did a long analysis on rocket since it's his birthday tomorrow and RAHHHH

it gave me a whole new perspective on who he might actually b

so rocket (he's 22) as you can see from his dialogue is very into fighting and will even sneak away from his dad zuka (who has been retired from fighting because he went into a big accident that costed him his right arm) so he can go off and fight

from the looks of it, he's one of the phighters who flame out more easily and he has a much shorter temper than the others

it's confirmed that he doesn't like t hang out with the people in playground (i'll mention why later)

some of what he says suggests that he doesn't actually care about whether he hurts himself in battle and that he jokes about his trauma (i'll get into depth about this too)"

(medkit dialogue)

(there's a little more dialogue with sword assisting but the wiki hasn't been updated)

"so he came from playground, a place full of energetic and extroverted demons but a specific group of demons went up on him and that resulted in his arm and leg blowing right off, hence his prosthetics zuka found him and adopted him before he himself went into an accident where his right arm blew off (so he can somewhat relate, however rocket started after his accident and zuka stopped after his)"

"from what happened with him when he was young, i wouldn't b surprised if he was still genuinely traumatized or isn't able t properly process what happened t him considering that healthcare is already low, so anything like therapists is out of the question as well"

theory time!!

"he can get a lot more easily agitated or aggressive than other demons which is deadass a sign of ptsd

he likely has flashbacks of that day (who wouldn't thas traumatizing as fuck)

he ALSO likely can't handle the stress he hasn't processed + the stress he has now because of how short his temper seems t b

he also makes lots of jokes poking around his limb being legitimately blown off which is something many people do t cope with stuff, which does involve shit like abuse or stuff like that

the reason why he might b into fighting so much is likely because he's used it as an outlet of the anger and stress that he could never get out otherwise

it's likely gotten t the point where it's an unhealthy addiction + a way of self harm for himself

the way he's so secretive about getting caught by zuka and that he asks other phighters not t tell his dad about it makes me think that he KNOWS the risk of fighting but does it anyway (which is a sign of addiction)

also, zuka found rocket while experiencing the same thing, so he full on knows the consequences of fighting and he knows why zuka is so persistent in not letting him fight, yet he does anyway and he goes out of his way t LIE t zuka on whether he went out fighting or not

the way he jus doesn't like the playground kids even when they very well may not b the ones that harmed him is a sign that he hasn't fully healed from what happened with him, that he still hasn't processed his accident

the amount of recklessness he shows for himself is very prominent, as he's too stubborn and too focused in fighting t even care that he's slowly killing himself

he has all the warnings, but he's addicted t how this is the only way he can feel better and that this is the only way he can even remotely cope with his childhood

whether he knos this or not, he's on the road of slowly killing himself if he keeps exerting himself like this" (bonus hc)

"honestly i thought that his trauma was so fucking severe that there's no way that he hasn't been affected, then when i saw that he was into fighting t the point where he will ignore zuka's reprimands despite knowing the harm that will happen i jus kinda thought that fighting was how he was coping this entire time

a friend said that this might b his norm or that he sees this as normal behavior and i agree!! because he was exposed t violence and the debilitating shit he went through when he was young + zuka found him before he retired so he more likely than not taught rocket his ways it's clear that rocket still does admire zuka because he carves his horns t look jus like his but he might even miss how approving zuka was of him for doing what he knows best before" side stuff: i mention his age t prove that he isn't doing this t b a rebellious kid since he's too old for that what i mean by "rocket started after his accident and zuka stopped after his" is by them fighting i'm aware that other phighters like banhammer and shuriken have shorter tempers too but they're also more aggressive demons when it comes t killing so my point still stands you could say that he isn't joking when he mentions his limbs getting blown off and thas fair!!! but the way he casually mentions that horrific event on a whim reminds us of how we did something similar with our trauma (don't ask, also yes most of it has been processed relatively healthily nowadays, we're ok rn) - if it isn't tru, then it also brings up another point that he might b completely desensitized t what happened with him + how he may not see the severity of the incident (we've done this too) - it further proves that he sees violence as something thas normal from how overly exposed he was t it (this was us a couple years back) and how his potential addiction is even more suggested

p.s.: keep in mind that these are all hcs and that i in no way think that i kno rocket more than the people who made him!!! i wanted t see him more than jus a silly guy who blows up stuff and i hope this is somewhat accurate t his character :,D 2/5/24 EDIT: i actually have no idea on whether zuka lost his limbs before or after he met rocket, i thought i read that he lost them after adopting rocket but iiiii can't remember if it was the opposite or not it doesn't affect my argument too much but i jus wanted t point that out also rocket says, "Dad's been helping me with my aim!" which i can't tell if he's being deadass or not but if thas so then AHEM? HEY?

#phighting! #phighting rocket #roblox phighting #phighting roblox #rocket phighting #character analysis #character theory #character headcanons #headcanon #theory #long post #tw violence #tw self destructive behavior #tw self harm #tw addiction #violence tw #tw ptsd #spaggy rambles