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#and y'all have to DEAL with it
They said spending a semester abroad would change you, but I don’t think they meant it would make you permanently partially insane.
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ticklepinions · 10 months
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This isn't a shot at anyone and although this is in response to a comment, this post is more for awareness.
Please, do not romantic my platonic. As an aroace person the way I perceive and experience love is very different from heteronormativity. I just find it so disheartening to like read that oh this friend you talked about definitely has a crush on you because of how touchy they are. Like my years of friendship with this person is just boiled down to romantic interest and to me that's real sad. I get that here in the West we are less touchy with our friends but why should I have to conform to that? Why should you conform to that?
Hug the homies, kiss them goodnight do whatever feels right between the two of you. Relationships do not have to be labeled all the time. It's annoying and frustrating to have people assume that one friend is falling for the other simply because they're comfortable holding hands platonically. "Oh but friends don't do that-" shut the fuck up. You don't get to define what's deemed platonic/romantic in a relationship you're not even involved in. I feel sorry for everyone that feels like they can't do things that are normally seen as romantic with your friends. Like seriously you're all missing out on the depths platonic love has. And idk why the world wants to make it my problem for its own ignorance.
Can't people just be? Without any hidden intentions or ulterior motives?
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warpedpuppeteer · 8 days
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GTFO I just know they didn't just fucking use Bisexual Lighting for this !! 😭😭😭
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kimdokjas · 3 months
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[major orv epilogue spoilers]
i was rereading the webtoon the other day and i had to Stop for a sec thinking about sys & od parallels. do u guys see my vision. okay listen hear me out
the way kdj was already living in a ruined world before the apocalypse even began. the way the words he typed all those years ago in a cold and lonely hospital room were "how to survive in a ruined world". how he was just a child clinging onto the one and only life raft he had found. and so he dreamed.
and then the scenarios begin and he looks at sys who feels unworthy of living for just trying to survive. and she's just a child and it's not her fault so he extends forgiveness to her as easy as breathing... but he's incapable of extending that same forgiveness to himself. so he takes up his sword in that subway and charges at od as if it was the only possible conclusion—and then he leaves. he stays behind and his eternity is his own form of atonement.
"your death has no place in the ending i wish for", he tells sys. and he means it. what he doesn't say is that he himself isn't part of that ending. because he never saw himself as part of the story at all. his salvation was always meant for others, not himself, and the most cruel and tragic kind of love is a hypocritical one.
and while kdj is hypocritical in his love with all his companions, the parallel between sys and kdj is especially poignant because they were both just kids who felt guilty for simply living. and they both felt responsible for dooming the world. sys realizing her 41st turn version would cause mass destruction, and kdj seeing od in that subway. they both felt the same despair and self-hatred so why wouldn't they be worthy of the same forgiveness? their bond is special because they understand each other at their core, but the tragedy is that kdj could see himself mirrored in sys and forgive his reflection but he could never in a million years forgive himself.
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katebeckets · 3 months
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GET TO KNOW ME  ✰ [1/5] Male Characters ⤷ Patrick Jane
"I hate to sound immodest, ma'am, but I rarely fail."
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t3chborb · 4 months
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This Mass Murder Machine is living in my brain rent-free so I'm making y'all Suffer™ as I have.
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viperwhispered · 12 days
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Too Hard
Woop part 2 of the trip inside Jamil's head. Part 1 here.
The next time Jamil caught sight of you on campus, his first instinct was to turn around on his heel.
What a stupid thought to have because of you.
Besides, that would only make him more conspicuous, not less.
So, when your eyes met his, Jamil gave you a short nod in greeting. He would’ve left it at that and kept on his way, had you not walked up to him.
“Hi Jamil! How’s it going?” you said with that impossibly disarming smile of yours.
Why was it so difficult to look at you like he normally would? You had no right to make him feel so stiff, so unnatural.
On autopilot, Jamil exchanged a few pleasantries with you - those lessons from his parents had been instilled too deep in him for him to falter too badly in a simple exchange such as this. Still, Jamil quickly excused himself by telling you he still had to find Kalim before his next class.
Jamil didn’t miss the way your smile faltered. Had you hoped to get something out of him?
“Oh, okay. I’ll see you two later, then.”
Something about that irked him, though Jamil did not allow himself to dwell on it further.
His heart really had no business still racing as it did when he walked away, unaware of the frown on his face.
Just act normal. That’s all he needed to do.
After all, he had no time for dwelling in silly fancies.
If Jamil had been acutely aware of you before, it only seemed to worsen now that he was making a conscious effort to not act any differently with you. In fact, the harder he tried to keep you out, the more you invaded his thoughts, unsettling him.
The most innocuous words from you looped in his mind, and even the simplest actions caught his eye. For goodness's sake, he’d found himself staring at you while you were queueing up in the cafeteria the other day, not even doing anything other than standing around and looking bored!
For once, Jamil found himself grateful for all his duties. At least they provided him with something else to occupy himself with.
After all, if he was busy enough, it was difficult to think about those bright eyes of yours, your sweet laugh, or the way you bit your lip while thinking.
Still, sometimes it felt like no matter which way he turned, you were there, ready to throw him off-kilter. Not like it was his fault that often the most convenient route to class intersected with your daily routines. Or that your face seemed to jump out from any crowd, catching his attention.
Which certainly did not help his basketball performance. Jamil certainly did not recall you having such an interest in sports before, yet suddenly you were always there, distracting him. What had changed?
Could you possibly-
Jamil scoffed to himself, forcing his thoughts back on track for the nth time that day.
He picked up the tray of food and started taking it to Kalim. After dinner, he’d need to help Kalim with his homework, there were some housewarden tasks that would need dealing with, not to mention the preparations for the next-
Jamil froze in his tracks.
The voice he heard was quiet, but it was unmistakably you.
Really, it should not have come as such a surprise to him. You had become a rather frequent visitor to Scarabia, and Kalim often invited you to stay for meals. In fact, Jamil had started planning the dorm’s meal prep with your tastes and dietary restrictions in mind, just in case.
Jamil rounded the corner with strange exhilaration, his heart fluttering needlessly.
Yet, his mood evaporated when he saw you.
Why did you stop talking and look so guilty as soon as you caught sight of Jamil?
Jamil knew that look you gave to Kalim, had used it himself a thousand times. The one telling Kalim to keep quiet about something.
What could there possibly be that you would be comfortable sharing with Kalim, but not with him? That would give Kalim reason to sit so close to you, a comforting hand on your shoulder?
Jamil's mind raced with possibilities, yet could not settle for any single explanation.
He’d have to ask Kalim about it later.
Jamil gave you a short, polite greeting, his eyes lingering on you in an attempt to read what you were hiding.
“If I’d known you were coming over, I would’ve prepared something for you to eat as well,” Jamil said, already thinking about which parts of the dorm’s dinner to spruce up for you.
“Oh, no need, just figured I’d pop by. I’ll get out of your hair soon enough,” you said, something sheepish about your expression.
As expected, Kalim asked you to stay and dine with them, and with just a bit more persuasion you agreed - though not before telling Jamil that he should join you too and have himself a breather.
And since Kalim agreed with you, Jamil soon found himself sharing a meal with you and Kalim. Yet, even as he sat down with the food, his mind raced.
Had you been getting particularly close to Kalim lately? But surely Jamil would’ve noticed such a thing. Maybe someone from the dorm had been giving you trouble? But if that was the case, then surely you could let Jamil know about it, too. Unless for some reason you did not want to? But if it was something that concerned Kalim, then sooner or later it was bound to concern Jamil, too.
All the while, Kalim was talking to you about this and that, the latest topic being the animals kept on the Asim estate.
“I’ve got some pictures, let me show you!” Kalim said with an excited grin.
Only, a thorough patting of his pockets and a look around confirmed that Kalim’s phone was nowhere to be seen.
Jamil pinched the bridge of his nose. Where had Kalim left it this time?
Before Jamil even had the chance to say that he would handle it, Kalim sprinted off. Jamil hesitated for a moment, automatically halfway up from his seat, before he decided that leaving a guest unattended would be a worse offense than not helping out his master.
Jamil slumped back down with a sigh, mentally tracing the path Kalim took today, trying to recall the last time he saw Kalim handle his phone.
“Breathe. He’ll manage,” you said. There was the faintest of smiles on your lips, and Jamil could not decide if it was knowing or amused. Perhaps both.
Somehow, despite his frustration, Jamil’s own lips wanted to curl up too.
“Hmm. Maybe he will.”
Sure, Jamil could’ve called Kalim’s phone, to make it easier to find, but it was not that urgent, was it?
Jamil took another bite of his food, keeping an eye on you from the corner of his eye.
How was his mind so empty and so buzzing at the same time?
“You know-”
“So-”
You looked at each other, both just as surprised that the other had spoken up at the same time.
Even your surprised look was so-
“You first,” Jamil said. The way you bit your lip... Jamil had to raise a cup to his lips, slowly sipping his drink.
“Just… Feels like it’s been quite a while since I’ve seen you be still, you know. Or exchanged more than two words with you,” you said. You were attempting a light, joking tone, yet it was quite clear there was more to it.
“You say that like it would be unusual for me to be busy.”
He was not prepared for the way your soft sigh tugged at his heartstrings.
“No. It is not.”
You were both quiet after, poking at your meals. Normally, Jamil would’ve cherished such a moment of peace, yet this particular silence between you two was decidedly awkward.
Where was your usual chatter? Why weren’t you looking at him like you usually did?
“If you’re worried about me, don’t. I’m fine,” Jamil said, some softness creeping into his tone despite his best intentions.
“That's what Kalim said too,” you said. Yet the way you looked at Jamil made it clear you were still skeptical.
Wait.
Had you clammed up earlier because it had been Jamil you had been talking about with Kalim? That Kalim had comforted you about?
The thought twisted his stomach into knots.
Hasdhfsdf the way I fought with that last scene I swear. I don't even want to know how many versions I went through, trying to figure out how to say what I wanted without rubbing it into your face or making it too veiled. The joys of trying to convey things through a limited pov. Hopefully it came out reasonably balanced in the end. Rip to all those sentences that were lovely on their own but didn’t work for the whole. Hopefully I can rehome y’all one day. I do have thoughts for part 3 and part x (might be some chapters between those two as well, who knows at this point), so maybe we'll see those at some point, too. Tag list: @colliope @crystallizsch @diodellet @jamilsimpno69 @jamilvapologist @twstgo If you'd like to be tagged for future works, let me know! (Just be aware that sometimes I do also write nsfw, though you can certainly ask to be tagged only for particular kinds of works.)
#twisted wonderland#jamil viper#twisted wonderland x reader#jamil viper x reader#ner writes#jamil definitely knows how to deal with his feels#also writing this is making me wonder how aware jamil is of his inner versus outer life#like he’s very aware of how he comes across because that’s what he’s been told to watch out for#but how well has he truly learned to understand himself and his own feelings wants etc?#(I mean as you can tell I’m assuming not very well)#originally this went to more of a “jamil hears just the wrong part of the conversation” route but#a) I kinda hate that trope especially when it’s dragged on beyond belief and#b) Kalim maybe doesn’t want to spill anyone’s secrets but he really is such an open book especially with Jamil so#also it’s not like jamil needs the extra help to catastrophize he already does that well enough on his own 🙃#tho then I went a little too far in the other direction and had to pull back#but let's just hope I didn't edit this to death by now#also also: since I seem to have a bit of a naming theme going on for this series#if I were to be the sort to go for the angst route what part would definitely be titled Too Late or something along those lines#also x3 but loved folks commenting on that part about reader being inoffensive in the first part#I certainly had fun writing that line#(and in general extra love to everyone who leaves comments on tags replies wherever always great to read those)#(and in general chat with y'all)
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skyward-floored · 26 days
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Febuwhump collab alt day - “I love you”
And here’s the last febuwhump fic (...on the 27 of March lol. what can I say, I get easily distracted).
This one was suggested by @webhead3345, and it’s really more hurt/comfort then anything, but after the last one some comfort is probably nice XD I hope you enjoy it!
And thanks to everyone who suggested characters/prompts for these! I appreciate you all so much <3
Today’s lovely art
Ao3 link
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Having six kids could be a challenge sometimes, Malon was willing to admit.
It would be difficult enough normally, but with five of them having superpowers, two being adopted, and all of them rambunctious boys who sometimes forgot their house was on the small side... it could be a lot sometimes.
But Malon always did her best, and Time along with her. Even when it got overwhelming, even when they disagreed, even through the sleepless nights and stress and fear and countless other worries from essentially living underground, they both tried their hardest to raise their kids well, and keep them safe and happy. Malon could only hope they were succeeding.
Especially in regards to their two adopted boys.
Hyrule and Wild had both been through such awful things, both due to factors they couldn’t control. It wasn’t always obvious, and they were both so strong for their ages, but sometimes the scars that had been left on them both reared their ugly heads, and one or the both of them would fall apart for a bit.
Malon always tried to pay attention and help when one or the other of them was stuck in a bad period. She had plenty of practice with Wild, and usually knew how to comfort him, but Hyrule could be a bit of a mystery still. She was still figuring out what tended to set him off, how he acted when he was upset, how his reactions tended to differ from Wild’s, and most of all, how to help.
And at the moment, she was at a bit of a loss as to what to do.
Hyrule had been acting quieter then normal recently, fading to the background of the typical chaos his brothers brought with them. He mostly just nodded if someone asked him something, and seemed a little more distant, taking longer to respond to things, and keeping to himself.
Malon wouldn’t have worried too much about most of that, but then she noticed the shadowed circles appear under his eyes, ones that only seemed to get darker with every passing day. It soon became obvious Hyrule wasn’t getting nearly enough sleep with the way he began to stumble around, and Malon’s worry doubled.
And then Wild started to act in a similar way, unusually quiet and withdrawn, tired-looking and cranky, and that really got her worried.
Malon just wasn’t sure how to go about getting to the root of the problem. Wild and Hyrule were both tight-lipped when things bothered them, and got defensive if pushed, and Malon knew a direct confrontation could be disastrous. She’d tried some light prodding, but hadn’t been successful in the slightest.
She could guess what it was that was bothering the two of course, and had a pretty good idea of what it might be, but she also didn’t want to assume and end up making things worse. Time didn’t have any ideas either when she discussed the problem with him, but he’d been swamped at work lately, and was barely thinking straight.
So Malon was left to try and figure out the problem mostly by herself, her worry growing by the day.
It finally reached the point where it was affecting her own sleep, and Malon found herself startled awake late one night after a week had gone by from the start of her sons’ odd behavior, and found herself completely unable to fall back asleep.
Time was snoring softly beside her, and Malon laid there for a while, trying to let the sound lull her back to sleep. She didn’t have any luck though, her brain too full, her mind too awake. She finally sighed, getting nowhere, and carefully slipped out of bed and pulled on her bathrobe. She made sure not to disturb Time at all, then walked down to the kitchen to try making herself a cup of tea.
The kettle didn’t take long to heat, and Malon yawned as she set her tea to steeping, walking into the living room with it to sit and wait for it to finish.
Then stopped in her tracks, realizing she wasn’t alone.
Malon hadn’t noticed on her way in, but there were two odd lumps huddled on the couch, both quiet and still. She stepped closer to study them, and realized one was Hyrule, wrapped tight in a blanket and staring silently at the ground.
He wasn’t the only there either, but whoever it was beside him was bundled up so tightly that Malon had no idea who it even was.
She could certainly guess though.
Worry crested over her, and she set down her cup, walking forward and shuffling her feet just a little to make sure Hyrule heard her coming. He startled a little anyway when he noticed her, but didn’t shield or run, just went back to staring at the floor.
The lump next to him shifted a little, and Malon saw a strand of long blond hair fall free of the blanket.
“Hyrule? Wild?” she asked gently, and Hyrule swallowed, wiping his sleeve across his eyes. Wild didn’t move. “It’s awful late you two, what are you doing down here?”
Hyrule didn’t look at her.
“Sorry, it’s nothing,” he whispered.
“If it was nothing, you both wouldn’t be out here and not in your beds,” Malon gently pointed out, sitting down on the couch beside them both. “What’s eatin’ you?”
Hyrule kept looking at his feet, a few sniffles escaping him.
“I-I, we just can’t sleep,” he whispered, not meeting her eyes. “That’s all.”
“That’s all?” Malon asked gently. Hyrule gave her a tiny shrug. “Well... is there a particular reason you two can’t sleep?”
Hyrule went silent.
The lump at his side shifted, and Wild poked his head out, Hyrule moving so he was more tucked against his side then before.
“...bad dreams,” Wild whispered after a few minutes, voice shaky. “‘Rulie too.”
Malon’s heart sank.
“Both of you?” she asked worriedly, and Wild nodded, rubbing at the shadows under his eyes.
“Sorry,” Hyrule whispered even more quietly.
“Honey, you don’t need to apologize,” Malon said, and turned so she could meet his eyes. “Neither of you do, it’s okay. Do you want to talk about them?” she asked in a softer voice.
Wild shook his head, and Hyrule shrank down in his blanket.
“No.”
Worry prickled at her, but Malon nodded, and didn’t say anything for a moment, Hyrule still letting out an occasional sniffle. Wild shifted where he was curled up again, and somehow he and Hyrule ended up snuggled against Malon, Wild’s head in her lap, Hyrule’s resting on her arm.
A shuddering sigh escaped Wild, and Malon ran a hand over his head, fingers ghosting past his scars.
She let out a quiet sigh of her own, looking at them both. She’d finally gotten the answer to what was bothering them (and had been bothering them), but she felt no better knowing the reason.
The nightmares must have been especially bad as of late.
Malon adjusted Hyrule’s blanket, continuing to run her hand over Wild’s head. She dearly wished she she could take away what was troubling them both, and let them get a full night’s sleep for once, but unfortunately that wasn’t a power she possessed.
Malon wished it all the same though.
Hyrule sniffled again, and Malon shifted her arm so it was resting around him, loose enough he wouldn’t be nervous, but tight enough to offer comfort. He leaned into it, and Malon ran her hand over his hair as well.
“Mom?” Wild whispered after a bit, and Malon hummed questioningly. “Why’re you awake too?”
“Did we wake you up?” Hyrule asked worriedly, and Malon shook her head.
“No sweetie, you didn’t. I just couldn’t sleep either,” she admitted, and Wild peered up at her, worry shining in his eyes.
“...was it cause of nightmares?” he asked softly, and Malon ran her hand over his head again.
“No, not tonight. But... sometimes I have them.”
“...What about?”
Malon sighed, thinking for a moment before she spoke. Wild and Hyrule certainly didn’t need to know everything about nightmares she’d had, especially the worst ones, but maybe a few details would help them feel better.
“Well... I worry about you boys, and your father. All sorts of things, really. And sometimes my dreams take my worries and just twist them up and make them worse then they really are. It’s hard,” she said gently, “to remember they’re not real sometimes.”
Her boys seemed to think about that for a minute, both staying quiet.
“...Mine’re like that,” Hyrule whispered. “With the mostly real things.”
“I never remember mine,” Wild admitted, voice still shaky. “Just... just how bad they were.”
“Oh boys,” Malon said softly, and Hyrule sniffled again, hiding his face in her arm.
She’d thought the ache in her chest couldn’t get any worse, but apparently it could, and Malon held both of them tighter, running a soothing hand across both their heads. Hyrule and Wild relaxed at the motion, and Malon kept it up, beginning to softly hum.
She couldn’t take her sons’ bad dreams away. And she couldn’t take away the memories that brought them on, and continued to plague them even afterwards. But she could comfort them now, let them know everything was okay and that they weren’t alone, no matter what their nightmares tried to tell them.
Not on my watch, she thought as she continued to hold them tight.
Wild and Hyrule’s eyes began to droop as she hummed her family’s song, and Malon watched as they both slowly nodded off, still snuggled tight against her.
After several minutes, both were soundly asleep, faces relaxed from the tension that had been there before. A part of Malon wanted to just stay here with them all night, but she knew her back wouldn’t like it if she slept upright on a couch, and they’d all be more comfortable in their own beds. So once she was sure they were both asleep, she shifted Wild and Hyrule around, careful not to wake them. Then Malon pulled them both up into her arms, standing and walking back to their rooms.
Despite her efforts not to jostle them, both Hyrule and Wild’s eyes blinked open as she moved, and they watched her walk up the stairs, barely awake.
“You can carry us both?” Wild murmured doubtfully, and Malon smiled as she easily reached the top of the stairs.
“Darlin’ I’ve lifted cows twice your size before, this is nothing.”
Hyrule giggled. “Really?”
“Really.”
Hyrule and Wild both let out sleepy giggles at that, and Hyrule set his head back against her shoulder, eyes slipping closed.
Malon dropped Wild off first, setting him down in his bed and attempting to fix his blankets. Somehow they’d gotten all tangled around and folded in on themselves, and it took her a moment to straighten them out enough to tuck Wild in.
“Goodnight hon. Sleep well,” she said softly.
“You too,” Wild mumbled sleepily, and curled up under his blankets.
Malon gave him a kiss, and noticed a furry head poking up from Twilight’s bed, blue eyes shining at her. She put a finger to her lips, then carried Hyrule out of the room, hearing pawsteps cross the floor after she was gone.
She brought Hyrule to the room he shared with Four and Wind, stepping lightly so as not to wake anyone. Malon set him down once she crossed the room to his end, and tucked him in like she’d done for Wild, adjusting his blankets around him, and fetching the stuffed rabbit he usually slept with that had fallen halfway under the bed.
Hyrule watched her sleepily the whole time, still clinging stubbornly to consciousness. Malon lingered a moment even after she finished getting him settled, running a hand over his head, and Hyrule relaxed into the touch.
“Goodnight honey,” she said softly as his eyes finally drifted shut, and she stood and began to walk out the door.
“...Mom?”
The whisper made her pause, and she looked back at Hyrule, his eyes open again.
“Yes sweetheart?”
Hyrule blinked sleepily, barely hanging on to wakefulness, but Malon heard his next whisper loud and clear.
“...Love you.”
Malon looked at him in astonishment, warmth blooming in her middle at the sound of the words from her son. She blinked back a bit of a sting in her eyes, then walked back over to Hyrule, smiling at him.
“I love you too honey,” she said softly, and kissed the top of his head. “Sleep well.”
Hyrule smiled back at her, and his eyes closed again, Malon knowing he was truly asleep this time.
She adjusted his blankets just a little more, then straightened and crept out of the room, back to her own bed. The anxiety and tightness that had been keeping her awake had finally settled, and her eyes felt heavy as she slipped back to where she and Time slept.
“...Everything alright?” Time whispered as she got back into bed, looking at her sleepily. “You’ve been gone a while, I was about to come looking for you."
Malon smiled as she got under the covers, and nestled up to Time with a sleepy sigh.
“Yes. Everything’s fine,” she replied, setting her head under his. “Nothing to worry about.”
And something to celebrate, she thought as she closed her eyes, Hyrule’s whisper still warming her heart.
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inkskinned · 1 year
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you wanted to be a good friend, because you loved your friends, but the truth was that everyone else somehow had a pamphlet on being normal that you never received. most of the time you learn by trial-and-error. you are terrified of the next big mistake you make, because it seems like the rules are completely arbitrary.
you've learned to keep the prickly parts of your personality in a stormcloud under your bed - as if they're a second version of you; one that will make your friends hate you. it feels feral, burning, ugly.
instead, you have assembled habits based on the statistical likelihood of pleasing others. you're a good listener, which is to say - if you do speak up, you might end up saying the wrong thing and scaring off someone, but people tend to like someone-who-listens. or you've got no true desires or goals, because people like it when you're passive, mutable. you're "not easy to fluster" which is to say - your emotions are fundamentally uninteresting to others around you; so you've learned to control them to a degree that you can no longer really feel them happening.
you have long suspected something is wrong with you, but most of the time, googling doesn't help. you are so-used to helping-yourself, alone and with no handbook. the reek of your real self feels more like a horrible joke - you wake up, and, despite all your preparations, suddenly the whole house is full of smoke. the real you is someone waiting to ruin your other-life, the one where you're normal and happy. the real-self is unpredictable, angry.
your real self snarls when people infantilize the whole situation. because if you were really suffering, everyone seems to think you'd be completely unable to cope. but you already learned the rules, so you do know how to cope, and you have fucking been coping. it's not black-and-white. it's not that you are healed during the other times - it's just that you're able to fucking try. and honestly, whenever you show symptoms, it's a really fucking bad sign.
because the symptoms you have are ugly and unmanageable for others. your symptoms aren't waifish white girl things. they're annoying and complicated. they will be the subject of so many pretentious instagram reels. if they cared about you, they'd just show up on time. you care, a lot, so deeply it burns you. you like to picture a world where the comments read if they loved you, they'd never need glasses to see. but since that's a rule you've seen repeated - "one must never be late or you are a bad friend" - you constantly worry about being late and leave agonizingly early. there are no words for how you feel when you're still late; no matter how hard you were trying.
so you have to make up for it. you have to make up for that little horrible real you that you keep locked in a cabinet. you are bad at answering emails so every project you make has to be perfect. you are weird and sensitive so you have to learn to be funny and interesting. you are an inconvenience to others, so you become as smooth as possible, buffing out all the rough parts.
all this. all this. so people can pass their hands over you and just tell you just the once -how good you are. you're a good friend. you're loveable.
#spilled ink#woke up at 530 to write this lmafo#me in a cold sweat:#how do i be normal#edit in the tags:#hey so i've seen y'all talk about like ... wondering if ur ''allowed'' to relate#like if this is about X specific diagnosis#and when i first posted it i really almost labelled it ''please don't assume this is about a specific condition''#because as an artist i am often walking this line of discussing a symptom or discussing my conditions etc#and sometimes yes ! i do want to talk about an experience that is specific to who i am and my condition#but sometimes the effort of the post is about the EXPERIENCE rather than the diagnosis#because yes i am not neurotypical and as a result that influences my work but it is ALSO true that there are many reasons#why someone might experience this particular vague horrible feeling that you are... almost being CHASED by what you ''really'' are.#that you're outrunning your symptoms... that you're not really normal you're just sort of a mockery of a person#.... that's a really isolating and horrible way to feel no matter why you are feeling it. and the nature of this PARTICULAR post is that#it is inherently talking ABOUT that sense of isolation & of feeling not-deserving & of minimizing your own experiences to make urself#palatable for society in a way that others find easy-to-deal-with....#this post is about a certain experience such that my impression is there's a higher likelihood that those who relate#would have more difficulty thinking they ''deserve'' to relate - that it doesn't REALLY belong to them#bc often we are the kind of people who are SO used to being alienated and set aside and ''different'' that we AUTOMATICALLY assume#that things are not ''for'' us... they never have been why would it start now#we are the kinds of people to be ... ''too normal for X diagnosis but too symptomatic to be normal''#[or as this post points out... so good at ''coping''/masking/hiding it that we essentially conform to whatever shape we're poured into]#but i have witnessed others already say in the tags ''thought this was about me but it's about X so it can't be''#and im like ... of course it was about you.#art is not a resource that is diminished by greater appreciation .#you reflect in whatever mirror fits your frame. not just the ones in your bedroom. not just the ones i specifically give you.#there will be - and often are - times that i will talk about my specific conditions... but if you're reading this#regardless of why you're here... we are here together. holding hands through space and time. and i love you for carrying it#and i know you're exhausted. i am too. but i understand. and i see you.
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leopardmuffinxo · 7 months
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i thought i had escaped the post that tried to take a statement on discord out of context, about durge and astarion being a 'canon ship' or w/e, but alas it showed up on my dash. i don't have the energy to go through this kind of bs w/ bg3.
THERE. ARE. NO. CANON. SHIPS. IN. BG3.
i don't care how much more dialogue a character has w/ another character. i don't care what you think is implied though a vague statement made by a writer or VA. shit like that is what caused a lot of people in the DA fandom to get harassed by so many braindead people in the fandom because their ships were "not canon". the fact that it was also added in because of crunch is a huge disappointment. it's allowed to be your canon but it doesn't make it canon for the game in general.
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zorgishborg · 1 year
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Steve Pinington stole my heart for the 15 seconds he was on screen
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bluespiritshonour · 2 months
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Something, something. Thinking about how Mai is constantly bored and craves excitement. Thinking about how exciting Blue Spirit could be.
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poisonousquinzel · 9 months
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thinking about just how likely it is that Batman was the only person Harley told about having suicidal thoughts whilst in Arkham in Detective Comics #831
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"I was seriously considering hanging sheets from the light in my cell and doing the maximum checkout when I heard this voice..."
Detective Comics #831
and how he knew when she strapped that bomb to herself in Batman (2016) #100 that he had to go after her because she was going let herself die in an attempt to end Joker's rampage for good but that she refused to physically do it because he didn't want to her Kill him and he told her that so she's found a middle ground
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"We don't need to end it this way. He needs to be locked back up."
that she'd rather die than keep living with his presence in the world haunting her, haunting Them.
That if he did choose Joker, she wasn't going to disarm the bomb herself.
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"Honey. You're talking to the wrong girl if you think he's not dangerous locked up in Arkham. It's like I said. That's not good enough for me. Not anymore."
the way he yells for her as she leaves.
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"You're only going to get to one of us in time, Bats. Who's it going to be?"
"Harley!"
the way the two men stare at each other in the way they have so many times before, in those moments when Joker stayed or prioritized their fight over her. the way he knew Joker loved the thrill of it all and thought it was funny, thought there was No way Batman would leave him and that this game had to end as according to the rules. And that Batman would do so, he would follow the rules and save him. The way he immediately assumed Batman would choose him, choose his life and choose to stay and disarm the bomb.
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And how Batman didn't do that. How Batman walked away from him, leaving him to die or escape or whatever, because He was choosing Harley and her safety and prioritizing her life over him.
The way he stared him in the eyes before choosing the woman Joker had always left to die over him. The way that it was always Him, it was never a question if he would choose Batman over her, but when faced with that type of scenario, Joker is the one that gets left behind to die.
The way she literally woke up in the hospital instead of them having a scene just outside after he removed it. because she didn't intend to live in one of the two options. the way the bomb probably did go off to some capacity because you don't just end up in the hospital knocked out for a week.
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Him saying that he's glad she's okay, after everything they've been through, this war and Everything else. and the way he didn't brush off her concern
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"I'm glad you're okay."
"Are you?"
"I had to bury my father again today. I did it with my family."
i just, i can't,,,,, i cant
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moongothic · 2 months
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...I... I do not know what on earth compelled me to make this nor why, but I will not be taking criticism at this time
#Moon posting#Break Week is rough y'all#Please I just needed to shitpost a little let me have this#OP Meta#I know this chart is incomprehensible you just have to accept it for what it is#No I was kind of thinking to myself it was kind of funny how of the OG Shichibukai half of them are either dads or borderline dads#And I was like. Can I make a chart of this. Can I make a Dad Chart of the Warlords.#I don't know why I made this nor what to do with this information but. Sure. Let me yeet this out.#Kuma is the Dadliest Dad to Ever Dad in One Piece. Moria canonically adopted Perona when she was little. We love the OG Goth Dad#Crocodad is real TO ME but if nothing else he does have the energy 100%. It's just short of Canon Confirmation at this point#Mihawk is a weird uncle to me. He has no dad energy. This man does not fuck. But he'll look after some kids (Zoro & Perona). Sure.#Blackbeard is like the opposite of Mihawk. He has never looked after a child but I'm sure he has spawned a bastard or two or three#(He may be a father but he is not a Dad) (But canonically as far as we know BB has no kids yet so I'm putting him in Not A Dad)#Jinbei is the new Token Father of the Strawhats according to Oda and so I'm putting him where he is based on that. Also vibes#Law's where he is kind of for similar reasons as Jinbei. This boy is too young to be a dad but dealing with Luffy gave him a few grey hairs#Doflamingo did arguably watch over Buffalo and Baby 5 as those two grew up so he's The Most Qualified in that square#Weevil is baby#Hancock could have Dad Energy in the right circumstances. Like she has THE POTENTIAL#Buggy does not fuck#...Thinking about it I probably should've switched Hancock and Buggy's placements on the chart but whatever it doesn't matter
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byronicbi · 4 months
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did you guys know i'm a writer? yeah i had no idea either.
anyway, AMAPOLAS IN THE DESERT is a new short story (3.4k words) that just went up for free on patreon if anyone's feeling zesty and wants to read about a displaced latino roaming the american southwest, coming across a questionable watering hole, getting flirted with by trickster gods, and getting torn asunder by a trans woman who may or may not be a primordial deity.
but also, for like a whole $1, you can get access to a T4T sci-fi romance short (8k words) inspired by H.G. Wells' The Time Machine.
but also also, i've got a couple of nonfiction essays dropping next year where i set out to piss people off by arguing that their favorite pieces of media are grossly mis-categorized (in a fun and non-judgy way; and who knows, it might make it onto podcast or even video format if i can afford to outsource editing). among other things.
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