#and yeah as for as i know jjong is the only one who has

[rollercoasterwrite]

I’M SO CURIOUS [CHAPTER 6]

CHAPTER 1 CHAPTER 2 CHAPTER 3 CHAPTER 4 CHAPTER 5

Prompt : Jjong is a college student with tight money, but manages to get into a prestigious uni where he becomes friends with Taemin. One day, Tae asks him to go out on a blind date with his cousin Jinki, a notable lawyer who still hesitates about dating someone. Jjong refuses, but the amount of money Tae offers is a sight he can’t ignore. Jinki adores him immediately and after several dates, Jonghyun falls in love with Jinki, but he doesn’t know how to tell Jinki about his agreement with Tae.

Chapter title : Lonely.

Pairing : Jongyu 

Genre : romance, fluff, angst, smut

***TW for this chapter*** some abusive exchanges

Word Count : 8000 words approx.

Links : AFF & AO3

Special thanks to Cheryl, my beta once again!!!

The room was plunged into a dead silence, the only sound cutting through the quietness being the rhythmic ticking of the clock hanging over the closed door. Its two hands were showing that it was close to 9 pm. Normally, no one would be there to witness when it reached this hour of the night, but over the past few weeks, this hadn’t been the case. Someone had been there without fault every night working until he couldn’t anymore.  

There was something about the calm and peace that engulfed everything around this time. He could pretend he was alone in the world and that nothing could get to him. This illusion had been his biggest comfort lately and he wasn’t ready to let it go, even if the dark circles under his eyes were telling another story. 

He was overworked, he was exhausted, but that’s the only way he knew how to survive. When everything else failed, work was always there to keep him company and give him a semblance of purpose. 

His eyes settled back onto the papers in front of him, looking for the best courses of action to tackle his newest case. This one was going to be tricky. Mergers were never simple. There were tons of negotiations and compromises to be made on each part to insure the best transition possible towards the new entity. The demands came easy, but never what each part was ready to let go to make things work. 

Change is hard, he thought with a sigh, before flipping on to the next page of his growing file. 

Before he could start reading again, a knock on the door interrupted him. He lifted a brow, puzzled.   

"Yes?" he answered from his desk. 

The knob turned and the door cracked open, revealing his best friend. He sunk back into his chair, relieved.  But that relief was short-lived as he caught a glimpse of his friend’s expression. 

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

The tall one crossed his arms over his chest, effectively emphasizing his disapproval. 

"Jinki, that’s enough," Minho finally said, making the other’s brows furrow from confusion. 

"What are you talking about?"

"You working that late every night," the younger one clarified. "I let it go thinking that it was only temporary, but clearly, this has become a bad habit and I can’t let you go on like this."

Jinki let out a long-drawn-out sigh as he rocked back into his cushioned chair. 

“I understand your concern, but I assure you that I’m fine. I just have lots of new cases I need to work on."

"Yeah, because you decided to take on more than you could handle," Minho reproved. 

"I can handle them just fine. Do you hear me complaining?"

"You never complain, Jinki. Doesn’t make it okay," his friend pointed out with the stubborn resolve he regularly displayed towards him. 

Sometimes, Jinki was grateful for it, but other times, like right now, he wished the other would just leave him be. He was a grown adult. And that meant that he was the sole person responsible for whatever decision he made. Even the senseless ones.

"Minho, go home," he gently ordered. "I’ll be done soon," he reassured before his gaze flicked down to his papers once again. 

For a moment there, Jinki had been hopeful Minho would comply and leave him to his work, but that hope was soon shattered as the taller one walked over to his desk and took the file away from him. 

"No, we are going home," the latter countered before opening the closest filing cabinet and sliding the file in. 

"That’s not where it goes," the one sitting directed. 

"I couldn’t give a rat’s ass about where that file goes," Minho snapped as he turned around to look him straight in the eye. "Work is over and you are going to get some rest now," he instructed with an authority that Jinki was more than familiar with. 

The latter knew there was no arguing when his friend used that tone. Minho would always be more stubborn about getting the last word than he would ever be. 

"Okay, Chief,” he conceded with another sigh before getting up from the chair that had seen him through most hours of the week. 

He slid his blazer on and grabbed the few things he needed, watching Minho staring at him from the corner of his eye. 

"Do I have something on my face?" he inquired as he slid his car keys in his pants’ right pocket. 

"You lost weight," Minho didn’t hesitate to say. 

That made Jinki smile. 

"Well, I’ll take that as a compliment. Thank you."

"It’s not," the other objected. "It means you’re not eating enough."

"I mean a few pounds off my bones won’t hurt," Jinki lightly dismissed. ‘’I had to lose some weight, anyway.” 

"No," Minho interjected again. "You didn’t have to lose weight. And even if you wanted to, that’s not the way to go about it," he went on in a disapproving tone.

"You need to take care of yourself, Jinki," he reiterated as the disapproval morphed into worry once more. 

That effectively put an end to the conversation. Jinki couldn’t argue with that. He knew Minho was right. He knew he wasn’t healthy in every sense of the word. The problem was, a big part of him didn’t care that he wasn’t. He didn’t see the point. He would build himself back up and then what? Something else would come along to crush him to pieces? 

He was so tired of fighting for his happiness. Maybe that wasn’t something he could ever get. Maybe his life was meant to be as plain as possible and dreaming for more was just pure madness. 

As he settled into Minho’s car after the latter won the debate about which car they would take, Jinki took out his phone to check if he had any missed calls or messages. 

“You’d better not be checking anything related to work," Minho warned as he started the engine. 

"I won’t answer, I promise."

Jinki looked at his screen and saw he had missed a call. When he clicked on the notification and saw who it was, his heart stopped. 

He immediately slapped his phone face down onto his thigh as he tried to will his heart back into a normal rhythm. Without realizing, he had closed his eyes to breathe through his internal ordeal, making his friend steal worried glances his way every few seconds. 

"Jinki?" the one driving finally called out as he brought the car to a smooth halt at a red light. 

The sound of his friend’s voice startled him, his eyes shooting open instantly. 

"Yeah?" he replied, trying to gather his thoughts back into an organized puzzle. 

"What’s going on?" the younger one pressed. "Is a client stressing you out?"

A client… I wish.

"Um, no… I just… Um…" 

Thanks for nothing, brain, he mentally kicked himself as it kept drawing blanks. 

"Is it who I think it is?" Minho asked as his eyes focused back on the road. 

Brain, you can still help me lie about this. Come on! 

His desperate request amounted to nothing more than an increase in his unease. He sighed, abdicating to the truth. 

"Yes," he finally uttered as his gaze shifted to the window where his eyes could focus on the landscape that was running past them. 

"Oh fuck," Minho let out loudly, eyes growing wide. "What’d he say?"

Jinki felt his jaw tense up. 

"I don’t know, it’s a voicemail…"

"Oh…" the other expressed in a much softer tone. "What are you going to do?" he then asked, treading carefully. 

Jinki let out a longer sigh, feeling his whole body abandon itself to the crushing feelings that had been looming over him for weeks now. 

"I don’t know, Minho…" he managed to utter under his breath. He bit on his lip as he felt it quiver. "I just…" he started again before realizing his throat was closing on him. 

Fortunately, Minho knew him like the back of his hand. 

"No need to talk about it right now, Jinki," he reassured. "We’ll get you home so you can eat, drink something warm, and rest."

Jinki nodded, knowing he wasn’t in his right mind to make any kind of decision at this very moment. 

As they finally made their way up to their loft a while later, Jinki felt his phone buzzing in his pocket. He cocked a brow as he felt it, trying to figure out when he had taken it out of its silent mode. As it buzzed again, he pulled it out, walking closely behind Minho as they stepped out of the elevator. 

It was an incoming call… 

It was him… His heart skipped a beat. Again….

Feeling anger fight its way through his turmoil, he picked up on impulse.

"What?" he harshly answered, forgetting himself. 

There was a pause, a brief window of silence. 

"Jinki…" 

And just like that, the voice he knew too well, but had tried his best to forget, came through on the other side. 

His grip tightened around the device at this ear, his knuckles turning white. 

"Why are you calling me?" he said through gritted teeth. 

Another pause. 

"I… was wondering when you were getting back, I-"

"Why’d you want to know that?" he sharply interjected, feeling the seams of his control rip apart thread by thread. He felt Minho’s gaze on him as he matched his pace, eager to reach his safe haven. 

But before he could do so or get an answer from the other, he came to a halt mid-way through the hallway, his arm dropping to its side as he saw what, or rather who, was waiting a few meters ahead.   

Everything suddenly seemed to come to a full stop. They all froze into place simultaneously, bracing for what was to follow. Jinki was in the middle of it all, caught between a worried gaze and a troubled one. He suddenly couldn’t feel his body, couldn’t even see clearly. Nothing was making sense anymore, throwing him into a panic that felt foreign, but all too familiar at the same time.

A steady hand squeezed his shoulder before lips grazed his ear. 

"If you want me to get rid of him, just say the word."

The words were clear, but his feelings towards them not so much. He felt torn between his lingering anger and his desire for closure. 

"Ming?" he quietly said, gaze still fixed ahead.

"Yes?" the other replied, staying close.

"What should I do?" he found himself asking as the internal battle continued inside him. 

The taller one sighed. 

“I can’t choose for you… But if you don’t feel like you can deal with this right now-"

"I don’t think I can deal with this at any time," he cut in, distressed. 

"So I’ll tell him to go then," Minho settled before moving.

But before he could continue on forward, Jinki grabbed his arm. 

"Wait."

Minho looked back at him, confused. 

"I’ll… I’ll deal with him," Jinki said, mustering up all the courage he had in him in that moment. 

Minho frowned, concerned. 

"You sure?"

"Yes, yes," Jinki quickly dismissed. "Can you, uh…"

"Want me to leave you guys alone?" the other guessed. 

Jinki nodded, gaze lowering to his feet as his request weighed on him. 

"Okay," Minho immediately agreed, as if it were nothing. "How long do you need?"

"Not long, I suppose… Like twenty minutes?" Jinki offered for good measure. 

"Okay." Minho turned fully towards him before adding in a low voice, "Don’t let him fuck you over, yeah?"

Jinki’s gaze met his and he nodded, grateful for the reminder. 

Soon after, his friend’s footsteps echoed down the hallway, gradually fading in sound before they turned silent. Now, he was truly on his own and that thought was terrifying. Yes, he was angry, yes, he knew what was best for him, but he was also feeling very vulnerable and hurt and those two things made for a very dangerous cocktail if not kept in check. 

Despite these thoughts, he willed himself into action and took step after step, closing the gap between them in a matter of seconds. If he had felt himself falter before, it was nothing compared to what he was feeling now. Gazing up close into those hazel eyes was like jumping headfirst into hot lava. It was threatening to burn him down to the core. 

And somehow, he could feel that it was a shared feeling as the one looking back at him started wiping his hands over his loose-fitted black joggers. It prompted a quick assessment of the other’s attire, feeling a flutter in his chest at the matching all-black attire, complete with his favored black Timbs. The younger one’s blonde hair looked as fluffy as ever and Jinki found himself wanting to run his fingers through it. 

Stop, he silently reminded himself, before fishing for his keys inside his pocket. Without a word, he led them inside, both pausing silently to remove their shoes.

"Do you want something to drink?" he instinctively asked as he made his way to the fridge.

"Um, no… thank you," the blonde replied, uneasy. 

"It’s no problem, really," Jinki said as he opened the fridge’s door. 

"I’m fine, thank you," the other reiterated. 

"Okay," he acknowledged before pulling out a can of beer for himself.

He definitely needed some liquid courage. 

He then made his way back to the lobby and gestured for Jonghyun to sit down with him in the living room. They naturally sat on either side of the center table, facing each other while keeping a comfortable distance. 

Now that they were in each other’s presence again, everything felt surreal. It felt like they were stuck in a plane of existence that wasn’t actually real. Jinki didn’t want to say it felt like a dream, but that was the closest way he could describe it. There was a part of him that just wanted to jump the gun and let loose while an equally strong part of him wanted to keep everything locked in. 

After all, Jonghyun had come to him and even left him a message prior to that, so it was probably best he let him say his peace before deciding on his best course of action. With that settled, he relaxed into the armchair and took a long sip from his beer. 

He watched as Jonghyun was almost folded in two before him, forearms resting on his thighs as he stared down at the nervous dance his hands were conducting on their own. 

Jinki felt impatient for him to break the ice, but he bided his time, willing himself to keep silent. 

After a few long seconds, Jonghyun straightened up and cleared his throat. 

"Did you listen to my message?" he asked in a quiet voice. 

The brunette shook his head. 

"No, I just saw it not long ago as we were coming back," he explained.

"Oh…" Jonghyun’s hand followed suit to rub the back of his neck, a gesture Jinki had grown accustomed to seeing whenever he was trying to soothe himself. 

"Don’t… um… you can delete that," he then said. 

Jinki frowned.

"Why?"

"It’s a bunch of nonsense… I didn’t think, I just, I left it impulsively and that’s why I came here actually, " he cleared up through his rambling before diving right back in. "I figured it would be easier to explain everything to you face to face, even though I wasn’t sure if you’d even talk to me."

"Well, I’m very interested in knowing more about whatever nonsense you left on my phone," the brunette persisted as his gaze zeroed in on the reddening cheeks of his ex-lover. 

Jonghyun’s head dropped down again, eyes stilling onto the space between his feet. 

"It’s mostly just me crying and sniffling… " he paused, swallowing down the lump that was forming in his throat. "And begging," he added in a voice close to a whisper. 

"Begging?" the older one echoed, frowning. 

The blonde nodded, still not looking up. 

"Yeah, I was desperate…"

Jinki kept looking at him, confused. 

"Desperate for what? More money?" he blurted out. 

The grimace he caught on the other’s face before he dared look up at him again was enough to tell him that the words he had chosen had stung like he had wanted them to. 

"Do you really think that’s why I’m here?” 

The response was filled with hurt, but Jinki wasn’t without noticing the undercurrent of anger in his tone. 

"I don’t know, you tell me," he threw back at him before taking another swig from his can. 

"You know that’s not why I’m here," Jonghyun fought back. "That was never why I kept things going with you," he reiterated as his voice grew coarser. 

"And why should I believe you? Just ‘cause you say so?" Jinki taunted, words dripping with contempt.

Jonghyun sighed to give himself a breather, letting his back rest against the soft cushion of the couch. 

"That’s what I thought," Jinki said as he took the sudden silence as confirmation of his words. 

"Can you just… give me a second?" the blonde requested, closing his eyes to think. 

"Why? So you can build up more lies?" the older one kept on, relentless. 

He wasn’t up to playing games. He wasn’t up to be fooled again. He was tired. 

"No," Jonghyun immediately countered, keeping his mounting frustration in check. 

"Why did you come here, really?" Jinki threw right back at him, straightening up in his seat. 

The silence that followed and the helpless look the other gave him told him he had won this round. 

"Ah," Jinki expressed in realization before delivering his next hit. "Did you come here to get your money’s worth?"

The blonde frowned, half-offended, half-confused. 

"What?"

"You were probably expecting sex after having put all that hard work into this charade," he coldly laid out as he fully unleashed all the resentment he had keep inside these past few weeks. 

Oh, and how much damage that did. Whatever composure Jonghyun had managed to keep instantly crumbled in front of him. Jinki’s emotionless gaze maintained the other’s devastated one, partly enjoying the power he was having right this moment. 

The other part of him knew it was a matter of time before the overbearing weight of guilt would come crashing down on him, leaving him breathless. Nonetheless, he didn’t want to regret his words. Not when he had been flip flopping all this time in between believing what they had was real or it being the product of a well-crafted scheme. 

Jinki wanted to be trusting, but he still had enough self-preservation instincts to know he couldn’t just give out that trust over and over again without any regard towards his well-being. 

"Jinki," the blonde managed to croak out between quivering lips. 

Jonghyun’s vision blurred despite himself, but he felt resolved to say what he had been wanting to say ever since their last encounter, ever since the moment they had last seen each other. 

"I love you," he finally let out, the words knocking the breath out of him for a split second before tears rolled down his cheeks and painful sobs rose from his chest. 

This was not how he had wanted to confess, but it felt like there was nothing else he could say, nothing else that mattered. 

Jonghyun couldn’t see the other’s reaction, too busy wiping the tears out of his eyes and off of his face and trying to get himself together again. He couldn’t see how Jinki’s eyes widened and how his body froze as soon as those three words hit the air between them. He couldn’t see how Jinki’s mouth fell open and how his chest heaved as the words wrecked his synapses, taking over the control board in his brain. 

Nothing could’ve prepared him for that. All the confidence he had mustered as he delivered blow after blow dissolved, leaving him stunned, almost knocked out. 

He might’ve won the battle, but Jonghyun was threatening to win the war. He couldn’t have that. 

"You love me?" Jinki echoed, making sure his tone was derisive and taunting. 

Yeah, he really couldn’t have that. 

But that didn’t seem to deter the one who had just bared his heart in front of him.  

"Yes, I do, Jinki," he reiterated. 

Finally being able to stare at him again, he repeated, "I love you. I love you so much, Jinki." 

Jonghyun’s voice dripped with desperation, and he knew it, but he didn’t care anymore. He wasn’t going to have another chance at this, he knew it. 

The older one’s lips thinned as his jaw clenched, trying to keep his guard up, still. He needed a moment to think, he needed a moment to figure out his next move, because clearly, Jonghyun wasn’t going to hold back anymore. 

And that was scaring the shit out of him. He could be tough and mean all he wanted, but under his hard armour, was an utterly vulnerable and needy human being. 

Not being able to find his words yet, he resumed his drinking, finishing up all the beer left in his now dented can. It had turned lukewarm inside the warmth of his hand, but nonetheless, the break it provided was quite appreciated. 

Once he was done, he set the can down by his feet, before getting up. 

"Where are you going?" Jonghyun asked from his seat, panicked. 

"Need another beer," Jinki mumbled under his breath before walking back towards the fridge. 

He welcomed the fresh air that hit his face as he opened the stainless-steel door in search of more liquid courage. But before he could grab another can, a hand met the middle of his upper back, startling him. 

He turned back around to see Jonghyun standing right in front of him, so close to him…

"What are you doing?" the taller one blurted out as he looked into determined hazel eyes. 

Jonghyun gnawed at his bottom lip, actually showing some hesitation, before pushing the fridge’s door closed with his hand. 

"I want to know how you feel," he answered as he searched his ex’s face for any clues. 

"How I feel about what?" Jinki feigned, in a poor attempt to buy himself some time. 

That made the blonde scoff. 

"I guess you have to be difficult about it."

That made the brunette mad. 

"You think I’m being difficult?" he exploded. "Did you really think that after only a month I would forget what you did to me? Did you really think it would be as easy as you just showing up, saying I love you, and then I would just forgive you and take you back?"

"No, Jinki, I-"

"I fucking hate you," he interrupted as his body quaked with rage. 

This was not like him. This was not like him at all. Yes, he could get mad, but no one had ever made him lose his mind so much before. He truly hated how this man could completely throw him off in a matter of seconds. His fists clenched by his side as he breathed heavily, waiting. 

Jonghyun blinked at him, taken aback. It took him a few seconds before he seemed to come back to himself. 

"You have every right to hate me," he acknowledged, keeping his voice soft to not add to the fire that was menacing to engulf everything. "I knew you would… I know you do," he went on, voice close to a whisper. "But it doesn’t change how I feel about you and what I am willing to do to be with you, even if it means waiting for however long," he added before stepping back to give the other more space. "I am sorry I just showed up like this and ruined your night," Jonghyun then said, feeling remorseful. "I won’t contact you until you are ready to tell me what you want… even if it is that you never want to see me again."

He then started turning to leave, but a firm grip on his arm had him spinning around and before he knew it, his back was against the cold stainless-steel door.

"You’re a piece of shit, you know that?" the taller one spat at him as his two hands settled at each side of the blonde’s head, trapping him. 

The latter just gulped, scared, hurt, and confused. 

"You really just came here to fuck with my head again and make me doubt everything, huh?" Jinki kept on, needing to let the venom spill out of him before it could kill him. 

He was looking down on the smaller man like prey, ready to rip him apart any moment now. 

"Jinki…" Jonghyun breathed out. "I am not messing with you, I never was," he once again stated, before adding, "I know the premise of us meeting shatters all my credibility, but what I have felt for you from the start has all been real."

When Jinki stayed silent, he took this as permission to go on. 

"And I’m really sorry I agreed to take that money. I should’ve never done that, that was fucking stupid and selfish."

"It was," the brunette immediately agreed. 

Jonghyun looked down at that, hit with even more guilt under the accusing eyes of his ex-boyfriend. But he couldn’t hide long. 

The older one pushed his chin up with a finger, locking their gazes together once more. Jonghyun waited for him to speak, to keep on raging, but nothing came. And before he could say anything, soft plush lips brushed against his, making him shiver. 

He gave an expectant look to those luscious lips, but before he could taste them, they travelled to one side of his face, connecting with his ear. 

"You drive me fucking crazy, you know that?"

Jonghyun felt his heart skip at that, his body inflaming with desire. 

"Jinki," he softly whined. 

This was so much and so little at the same time, but Jonghyun didn’t know what he could or couldn’t do at that moment. He could just keep still, anticipating. 

It felt like time was standing still, waiting for either of them to move before retrieving its course. Which didn’t take too long once Jinki grew more and more impatient. His lips travelled down to the blonde’s neck, leaving a trail of feather-like kisses, knowing how much he loved that. 

"Fuck," Jonghyun let out under his breath, biting on his lip right after to keep himself from whimpering. 

Jinki felt prideful of the effect he was having on the man who had hurt him so much, but who he desired nonetheless. He stopped his teasing ministrations to look at him again, allowing himself to admire his flushed face and glossy gaze. 

Something dark, something visceral coiled inside him and he suddenly wanted nothing more than to ruin the blonde completely.

"Bedroom," he growled before dragging the other with him towards said place. 

Something in the back of the other’s mind told him this wasn’t a good idea, but who was he to refuse Jinki after everything he had made him go through?

So he just followed and didn’t say a word when he was thrown onto the bed and was towered over immediately by the other’s heavier body. He felt a shiver run down his spine as he caught the brunette’s predatory gaze, all signs of the Jinki he knew, gone. 

A faint alarm sounded in his mind again and he couldn’t help but listen to it. 

"Jinki, maybe we shouldn’t-"

He was silenced by a brutal kiss, that was more teeth than lips, a stark contrast to the always gentle even when passionate kisses he was accustomed to. When he felt the other’s tongue forcefully roam inside his mouth as he pinned his wrists to the mattress, Jonghyun knew this wasn’t how this was supposed to go. 

He wanted Jinki to love him back, not use him and then discard him. 

"Jinki, stop," Jonghyun pleaded as the other pulled back to catch his breath. 

The brunette cocked a brow before snickering when the blonde’s serious expression remained unchanged. 

"What? Don’t want me to fuck you?" he mocked as he let go of the other’s wrists. 

"I don’t want that, not like this," Jonghyun said, pushing on Jinki’s chest to signal him to move off him. 

But Jinki didn’t move. 

"Oh, suddenly you’re a fucking prude, huh?" Jinki belittled in contempt. "You wanted me to fuck your brains out on the first date, but now you don’t want it?" he remarked snidely. 

It took everything for Jonghyun not to lose his temper and slap him right then and there, but he knew that was what Jinki was looking for. For him to further prove himself to be the asshole Jinki thought he was. 

He wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction. 

"No, I don’t want it," Jonghyun confirmed, voice steady and resolute. "I don’t want you to hate-fuck me. If we are ever in bed again together, I want us to have sex because we love each other."

"Aaaw," Jinki voiced sarcastically. "How fucking romantic… the whore who got paid to go out with me is now looking for true love. That’s really cute."

Jonghyun’s hand flew before his mind could stop him. He felt the sting of his slap thrumming through his palm as he watched the brunette retract in shock. 

Now that there was more space between them, reality seemed to sink in for both of them and it wasn’t pretty. 

"Jinki, I’m so sorry," Jonghyun started, eyes widening as he sat up on the bed.  

The brunette rubbed the side of his face, trying to get a hold of the situation. He suddenly realized what he had just said and what he had been about to do and it made him sick to his stomach. 

"No," he interjected. "I’m sorry, Jjong," Jinki said, shame washing over him. 

They just stared at each other, feeling awful for what had just transpired. 

"I think I should go…" Jonghyun finally said, cutting through the painful silence. 

Jinki just nodded, not knowing what else he could say. Part of him wanted to ask him to stay, but the rational part of him knew the best thing they needed right now was space. 

Nonetheless, Jinki didn’t want to leave it that way. He wanted to at least show that he wasn’t a heartless monster. So before Jonghyun could make it past the doorframe, he hugged him from behind, closing his eyes as the other’s body warmth settled his heart a bit. 

"Let’s talk at another time, yeah?" he carefully asked against him.

"Yeah, sure," Jonghyun accepted as he relaxed in his arms. 

After a few more seconds of shared silence, this one much more comfortable, Jinki let go of him, not without some regret. 

Jonghyun wanted to look back, but he didn’t, knowing he might lose it again. 

So he left the room, breaking away, despite the pain he felt doing so. 

Jinki watched him leave until he couldn’t see him anymore before slumping down back onto his bed, choking up on sudden tears. 

I love you, too, Jonghyun, I do, he silently admitted to the now empty room. 

I knew way before we met…

***

     6 months earlier

    (3 months before they met)

Jinki knew the obsession was starting to get unhealthy, but he couldn’t help himself. As he set the broom to rest against the counter, he looked through his phone for the song he hadn’t been able to get out of his head. It had taken some arguing and pleading with Taemin to get a hold of it, but now that he had it on his phone, there was no looking back. 

Soon enough, the first haunting notes of piano started playing on their wireless sound system, filling the empty loft with grief and sorrow. This was probably not the best song to listen to while doing some Sunday cleaning, but there was nothing else he wanted to listen to right now. Ever since, he had heard his voice, it felt like something had changed in him. It felt like he had found a part of himself again. 

Dust flew across the wooden floor to collect into a neat pile at the center of the living room as he pondered the words that were so beautifully sung. 

My reflection inside the closing elevator

Looks miserable

But still, I live on…

That was the bit that hit the hardest. It felt like the one singing had found the words he often failed to find to express how he felt about his life. To the outside world, Jinki was well accomplished. He was a successful corporate lawyer at a young age, he lived in a prized part of the city and owned a luxurious car and fancy suits. 

But Jinki had never cared about how he looked to the outside world. He had only cared about pleasing his parents first and foremost, but it seemed like nothing he did was ever enough for them. They never really acknowledged the life he had built for himself, the only words rolling out of their mouths being how he should’ve settled already, started a family, and attended country club events to be visible in the right circles. 

But Jinki was done bending every which way to please them. Now that he had entered his thirties, he realized it was time for him to make changes that would make him feel better, not worse. He wasn’t without feeling the harsh claw grip of guilt seize his stomach every once in a while when he thought about his parents, but he always tried to remember how much his mood had improved since he had minimized contact with them to the strict minimum. 

Speak your heart out

I can tell you're very lonely

Tell me some more

You know you can't take it anymore

Jinki froze mid-way on his way back to the kitchen as those words sunk in. 

Yes, I’m so lonely…

He felt a lump form in his throat as the realization dawned on him.

Since when have you been all by yourself? The song threw back at him. 

Seems like forever, he answered as if a reply was needed. 

The last bit of the song played out leaving the room in an eerie silence. Jinki just stared into space, his shaky hand threatening to spill the content of the dustpan he had been holding. He didn’t know how long he stood there, sitting in the immense void he had never seemed to be able to fill. 

But however long it was, it was suddenly interrupted by the door opening, signaling his best friend’s return. Jinki snapped out of his daze as the door shut behind the taller one and resumed his trajectory towards the trash can, getting rid of the mess.  

"Hey, guess what happened to me today?" Minho said as he swiftly made his way towards him. 

Jinki’s brow cocked for a second, but he quickly caught on to what that question hid. 

"Ah," he deadpanned. "You worked your charms on a girl again?"

"No need to sound so exasperated," Minho reproached, clearly taking offense. 

Jinki gave him a blank stare. 

"Am I wrong?"

Minho crossed his arms over his chest, defeated. 

"No, you are not, but this was different."

"I swear!" he then exclaimed as his best friend’s unchanging gaze had him vehemently wanting to make himself credible. 

"Okay, okay," Jinki conceded. "What was different about this one?"

He now set his cleaning supplies to the side to give his full attention to the one standing before him. 

Minho’s face immediately beamed with excitement as the memory of his previous encounter unfolded in his mind. 

Jinki couldn’t say that didn’t warm his heart. Despite his harrowing feelings of loneliness, he would always be happy that his friend could find companionship so easily. Even though he never kept his girlfriends around long, the time he spent with them always seemed to do him good. 

"So you know how I was out shopping for new suits?"

"Yeah…"

"Well that didn’t happen, ‘cause after I helped out an elderly woman cross the street-"

"Of course," Jinki interjected as he rolled his eyes. 

Somehow, Minho always ended up doing the most stereotypical gentlemanly things ever. It was quite literally impossible to hate the guy, but his seemingly effortless perfection could get on one’s nerves at times. 

"Hey, don’t roll your eyes at me!" Minho called out. "It’s only natural to help out someone who is struggling."

It took everything from him to keep himself from rolling his eyes again. 

"Yeah, yeah," he dismissed. "Get on with it now".

Minho glared at him for a split second, before going on with his story.  

"So as I was saying," he went on after clearing his throat. "I helped this elderly woman out and suddenly, this young lady came out of nowhere and grabbed her arm in panic. Before I could figure out what was going on, she started yelling at me and hitting me with her handbag," the younger one detailed as if recounting a movie scene. "Can you imagine? Everyone was just looking at us in shock, thinking I was being inappropriate or something."

Jinki’s brows furrowed in confusion. 

"I fail to see why you sounded so excited to tell me about this encounter."

There was a sudden shift in his friend’s expression, his face shining with delight as his lips thinned out into a self-satisfied smile. 

"Well… " he prefaced. "The elderly woman, who turned out to be her grandmother, started yelling at her in turn and explained how nice and helpful I had been to her."

The older one’s face lit up.

"Aaah, I see…" he exclaimed. "So you and that elderly woman hit it off, huh?"

The blank expression that instantly settled on his best friend���s face was enough to make him burst out laughing. 

"Ladies of every age love you," he stated, still laughing. "Don’t act as if I said the craziest thing in the world."

"If I remember correctly, older women are usually attracted to you," Minho knowingly threw back at him, effectively stealing his friend’s amusement and turning it into his own. 

"You will never let that shit go, will you?" was Jinki’s annoyed response. 

"How could I?" Minho promptly riposted. "I have to keep bringing up the same old anecdotes, ‘cause you refuse to get your grown man ass out there and date someone," he then reminded. 

Ah there it was. His Achilles’s heel. 

"I’m not you, Minho," he quietly replied, his jaw clenching with the underlying anger he felt towards his friend, but also towards himself. 

"No, you are not," the younger one agreed. "But that doesn’t mean you don’t have the same ability to make anyone fall for you. You just need to tap into your confidence again."

Jinki sighed as he felt the never far-gone ball of self-loathing roll inside his stomach. He wanted nothing more than to throw it away, but somehow, knowing it was there made him feel less lonely. 

"Well, how about you finish that story so that I can take notes from the expert?" he managed to swiftly turn around to get the focus off his pathetic state. 

Minho’s gaze narrowed at that. 

"I know what you are doing, but I’ll indulge you for now," he accepted, catching the other’s relieved expression. 

"So," he resumed. "Even though her grandmother explained to her what had happened, she still looked at me like I was a criminal," Minho recounted as his eyes grew wide from the passion of his storytelling.

"Okay…" Jinki voiced, still trying to figure out what was coming next. 

"So of course, I felt like it was my duty to crush that perception completely."

"Aaah, so you went all out," the older one gathered. 

"No, I couldn’t," Minho said with an amused smile that made him confused again. 

"How come?"

"She wouldn’t let me treat them. She said I was too nice and that it was suspicious," he added with his signature hyena cackle. 

"To be fair, I am surprised that has never happened to you before," Jinki observed. "I’m your best friend and I sometimes also find your kindness and generosity somewhat suspicious," he specified, half-joking, half-stating. 

Minho’s eyes almost popped out of their sockets at that. 

"Eh??" he exclaimed in disbelief. "Are you saying I’m faking it?"

"Not at all," Jinki refuted. "I just think that the universe gave you the most of everything and left the rest of us with crumbs,” he explained with an airy laugh. 

The tall young man crossed his arms over his chest, annoyed. 

"First, that is not true. Secondly, it’s sad that genuine kindness has become suspicious in today’s world."

Jinki nodded as he pondered those words. 

"I can agree with that, but unfortunately, a lot of people out here are using people as a means for their personal interests."

Minho gave him a sympathetic look. 

"I know where you and others are coming from, but it’s not everyone. There are still good, honest people out there."

"Hopefully," Jinki replied, tone heavy. 

"No, not hopefully," Minho countered. "There are and I know you will find that special gem that’ll prove it to you."

"Yeah, yeah, sure," the older one dismissed before he found himself entertaining that hope for too long. "So how did it end with that girl?"

A wolf’s grin lit up his best friend’s face as he was thrown back into the memory. 

"Very well. I saw that she had a squash racquet peeking out of her backpack and once I pointed it out and we started talking about it, it was pretty much a done deal," he boasted. "Her face lit up as if she hadn’t just thrown daggers at me with her eyes and she just marveled over the fact that I knew so much about the sport. So not long after, she gave me her number and we planned a squash game date for next Sunday," he finished with a proud smile. 

If Jinki had been drinking, he would’ve spit out all of his drink onto the floor. 

"A squash game date? Really?" he managed to utter before losing it to a fit of laughter. 

"I don’t see what’s funny about it," Minho said as he felt his ego get pricked. 

"How are we even friends?" Jinki let out between a wave of laughter. "You get excited about the weirdest shit, I swear. A few months ago, it was golf and now it’s squash. What’s next?"

His continued laughter granted him an immediate snarky response. 

"What’s next is me getting into the sport of kicking your butt, that’s what’s next."

Unfortunately, that only made the older one laugh harder. 

"Oh, you would most certainly excel at it, too," Jinki said as he caught his breath. 

"You know what sucks?" Minho started. "It’s that you are incredibly strong for a guy who doesn’t work out that much, but you don’t put any of your natural strength to good use," he pointed out with a tone of reproach. 

"I know you’re saying this so that I can accompany you on your sports’ outings, but that’s not going to happen," Jinki shut down, amused. 

Minho crossed his arms, pouting as if he were a five-year-old who had just been denied candy. 

"Suit yourself, then. But I still think you should get back into something outside of work."

The shorter brunette couldn’t dispute that. The monotony of his days and the encompassing boredom that had taken over his life was getting more and more unbearable. He felt like he had been stripped of any passion that could fuel him. He didn’t even know what it felt like to want something anymore. 

And suddenly, the song he couldn’t shake came to him again, bringing to life the exact way he was feeling. 

I think I know all the trifling stories in the world

But I don't know anything about you, with whom I've shared my breath my whole life,

I don't know, don't know who you are…

"I know," he finally said before looking downwards.

"You really have so many talents, Jinki," Minho kept on, emphasizing his point. "You just need to pick something and see where that leads you."

Jinki nodded, acknowledging his friend’s words with sincere consideration. 

"I was thinking about taking piano lessons again…" he shared, somewhat embarrassed. 

"Oh my fucking god," Minho exclaimed, almost jumping up and down in excitement. "Fina-fucking-lly!! "

Jinki laughed softly at that. 

"Calm down. I am only considering it."

"Still, that’s big. What made you change your mind?" Minho asked, unable to contain his bewilderment. 

Him. His voice. His words. His music. 

"Um… just heard a beautiful piano piece and felt like learning it," he vaguely answered as he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.  

"Oh nice. What piece was it?"

Fuck. 

"Uh… I don’t remember actually…" Jinki slightly fumbled before going on. "I mean, it’s been a while since I heard it, but it awakened something in me for sure."

"Whoever it is from, I am eternally grateful to them for bringing you back to life," Minho said in a tone that was meant to be teasing, but that was utterly sincere as well. 

Once again, Jinki had to roll his eyes.

"You are so dramatic."

"Seems like it works just fine for me, so I will take that as a compliment," the younger one turned around to his advantage. 

"You’ll take anything as a compliment," Jinki said with slight exasperation.

"And you’ll take anything as a flaw," Minho riposted. "That’s why you need to do the things you love. Maybe then that’ll give you the push you need to get into the dating scene again."

"Eh," the older one shrugged, indifferent. "We’ll see about that."

"Oh, we most certainly will," Minho affirmed with a grin.

Despite his air of indifference, Jinki felt a pang in his chest as if a string was menacing to pull his heart right out. 

I can tell you're very lonely

Tell me some more

You know you can't take it anymore

No, I can’t, he finally admitted to himself. 

And somehow, that realization was enough to make his heart race again, breaking free from its restraints even if just for a moment.  

#jongyu #shinee fanfic #sarastuff:jongyu #jonghyun #onew #i'm so curious #shawols #babywols #minho #platonic onho #angst #slice of life #music inspo : piano lessons by colin munroe and elevator/lonely by jonghyun #this chapter was started in May and then I had a blockage so really happy I got that done #I feel like that Jongyu scene is one of the realest most intense scenes I have written so far

[what-if-nct]

(same guy from last post — same warnings)

—

rahhhhh trust if i knew someone who was in a gang i would of set him up to get stabbed to death by like 4-5 men and then pray to jonghyun to bring him back to earth do he could suffer more before he goes where he would beat him up more but he gonna help me with this girl anyways because she might have some injury to her brain making her go into a coma or something he’ll always have my back i know it

if i ever go to court, my cousin will have my back. well… all of them will but especially the 28 year old one which i will call her mvp but the girl i beaten up is also a onew stan but i’ll call her an npc because it makes the most sense lol (i’m sorry but that nickname is hilarious when i sing it “noona you’re my NPC” 😭😭😭)

oh yeah for the others, i’m gonna call the dec 18th girl a locket (or a taemint since she changes it a lot in every comeback 😭), her best friend who she has comforted her through dec 18th a flame and one of the guys (we call him felix lol — ok fine i don’t have any ideas he had ginger hair ok) who had came up few years after the npc’s boyfriend (yes, THAT’S her boyfriend and also they were on a date together since she was wearing a dress (the type where you go out with) and they looked like the mean couple like the team rocket from pokemon where they were wearing matching colours like black and white — haha i ruined a date) came to apologise on what happened and that if anything happened, he would back me up in court alongside with proof (which i didn’t see the pictures since why would you want to watch yourself getting rApPé and reliving your trauma again?)

but yeah… my mom knew about it since i literally cried when i came back home because i ran home crying with just my bleeding underwear and a shirt i had. i haven’t washed the underwear ever since so we could show it for evidence and stuff. my dad knew either, but he just claimed that it was my fault i couldn’t keep my legs closed as a “young lady.” first of all, i was TWELVE. second of all, i’m a BOY. third of all, wow victim blaming, how original. didn’t see that before eh? fourth of all, just wtf- fifth of all, this is my second wtf and sixth of all this is my THIRD wtf like WHAT? i literally wanted to throw him to the moon so jonghyun could use his bat to hit him with like we’re playing baseball. yeah of course, this was a year before dec 18th but seriously, i still want to throw him to the clouds so he could hit him to the next dimension. i could imagine a smily jjong hearing me saying “BALL” and he would get his bat ready to hit so FRICKING hard that nobody could catch him.

naurrrr he better give that npc a sike when her ghost comes up like he be looking at her and be like “welcome to heaven! SIKE! now get back down you BITCH! not you cutie! aww you’re such a cute gurlllll- now make sure this npc doesn’t die for me, ok honey?” and then starts patting his dog like has never said those stuff. why is that so hilarious to think like that lmaooooo 😭😭😭 (it’s a coping mechanism to process what has happened)

but yeah… it’s nice to see that you’re doing well. i just got myself checked at the hospital and i only had a bruise and a cut on my right cheek so- also she had long nails so it probably cut me 😭

also my sister was unharmed which i’m glad, but she’e also gonna have my back since she remembered the day it happened and she thought it was just my period (because she seen videos) but then i explained it in a way her little mind could understand and that day on i even showed her some self defence skills i’ve learned that she could use since this could happen to her regardless of her age. i was 12 and she was 8 so this pretty much explains the age gap. she’s my little blinger i raised and she’s still a blinger until this day. she haven’t changed her bias at all and doesn’t plan in changing it, although she does love the other members. i could call her my little blinger, but i think sister makes sense unless if i do get another little sister which… may or may not happen but my mom is quite young so maybe…? she had me when she was about 28 making her 46 which i think it’s a little old but still a chance. she did tried to get another baby when i was 8 but had a miscarriage and haven’t tried again ever since. she might be done with kids, especially my dad.

I really hope that guy gets everything he deserves in which ever way the universe and Jonghyun sees fit. And what you're dad said is so horrible and I'm sorry that you had to hear that. You were 12, you were a child it wasn't your fault at all, it's really not fair that something traumatic happened to you and you were blamed. I am so sorry all of that happened to and I really am hoping that the guy and his girlfriend are haunted with what he did and her complacency of his actions as well as how she's treated you. I hope they have no peace. Also little sisters are like built in best friends and even if you're the oldest they will defend and fight for you like their older. And the relationship you have with your sister sounds so wonderful and I can tell you're the best big brother.

[katrinawritesthings]

Jonghyun/Taemin; fingies; PG

Anonymous asked: Prompt (?👀) Tae watching tv w jjong and playing w jjongs hand and talking about how weird fingers are 🚶 good shit meme anon

Jonghyun doesn't know about this trash tv. Taemin is always talking about it, telling him who said what and what the new drama is and who he wants to win, but Jonghyun is finally here on the couch watching with him and he just. He doesn't get it.

"This is just drunk people being mean to each other," he says. 

"Yeah," Taemin says. "Isn't it great?" 

Jonghyun glances at him; he's comfortable underneath Jonghyun's arm, grinning back and forth between the trash on tv and dance videos on his phone. Well. At least he's happy. "I don't think it's for me,” Jonghyun says gently. He likes cartoons where people learn the value of compassion. Or slice of life stories about existing despite how hard it is. At the very least, he likes his trash to be action movies where shit gets blown up to slamming music.

Taemin turns to him, lips pulled back in a half disappointed, half understanding smile. "Yeah,” he sighs. "I know.” He gently headbutts Jonghyun's shoulder to show affection. “Thanks for trying, though," he says. Smiling, Jonghyun smooches him on the tip of the nose. Of course he tried. Anything for his Taemin. While Taemin grumbles and wipes off his spit, his hands Jonghyun the remote control. 

Within a minute, Jonghyun has the tv on a space documentary. He draws his feet up on the couch, curling his knees in front of him and leaning more against Taemin. He feels a little bad; Taemin is about as interested in space as Jonghyun is in his trash tv. But there's a dinosaur documentary on right after this and he knows that Taemin will appreciate that. It'll be something that they can watch together today.

As time goes by, like Jonghyun thought, Taemin loses focus on the tv. He starts watching only his phone, and to divide his attention, he picks up Jonghyun's hand from around his shoulders and starts playing with his fingers. Jonghyun plays with him absentmindedly, wiggling his fingers and breaking free from Taemin every now and again to poke or pinch his cheeks. Every so often, Taemin will bite him and then Jonghyun will stick his wet finger right into Taemin's ear.

Luckily for the both of them, the dinosaur documentary starts before they can escalate that little war any further. Taemin puts his phone into his pocket to focus on the tv, keeping Jonghyun's hand between his. And it's like that, during a commercial, that Taemin speaks up again: "fingers are so weird." 

Jonghyun takes a second to process that, and then turns and looks at Taemin. He cannot begin to describe the depth of incredulity inside of him as he watches Taemin inspect his hand, his fingers, pinch his skin and rub the little hairs on his knuckles. “You are going to tell me that my fingers are weird?” he asks. “You?”

Taemin gives him an eyeroll that almost rivals one of Kibum’s. "I just said fingers, not your fingers specifically," he says. "Also, fuck you. My fingers are so normal and sexy.” Jonghyun snorts, trying to grab Taemin's hand, but he shoves both of them between his thighs without changing his haughty expression. “Also again, even if i was calling your fingers weird specifically, you know weird is a compliment from me." 

Well. He has a point there. Jonghyun doesn't know why he was getting ready to be offended. But still. "They're not weird,” he says. "They’re just, like, fingers.” He looks at his own hand, inspecting his own digits. A little short, a little stocky, a little dark, a little rough, a little cute. Just like him. They do their jobs and never give him any trouble. "What's weird –"

"Wait, shut up," Taemin says quickly. He points at the tv; Jonghyun gasps softly. Dinosaurs are back on. 

The next half hour is spent in silence, learning about fossil distribution and migration patterns, and then as soon as the program ends Jonghyun continues, "what’s weird about them?" 

“They’re, like." Taemin sits up straight, jostling Jonghyun until he's comfortable, and holds up Jonghyun's hand. He puts his own hand next to it so they can look at both of them together. "They're weird," he insists. "They’re veiny, and the knuckles look weird under the skin, and they're like, super strong for no reason –"

 "What– ?” Jonghyun splutters, baffled. That's not anything he was expecting in the slightest. Never in his life has he heard fingers being described as strong, let alone super strong. “What do you mean? My fingers can barely open a bottle of water half the time, hello?" 

 "Jinki," Taemin says simply, blankly, like he thought that would be obvious.

"Okay, well." Now it's Jonghyun's turn to roll his eyes. "Jinki doesn't count, Jinki is a fucking–” as soon as the word starts to leave his mouth, Jonghyun feels bad about it, but he says it anyway, "freak,” and then the rest of his sentence is huffed out through his guilty laughter. “He literally trained his fingers to be that strong for fun. Jinki is nowhere near the realm of normal human fingers. If Jinki finger blasted you he would rupture your intestines.”

Taemin bursts into laughter. With him going, Jonghyun can't fight his own laughter from taking over. They lean into each other, snorting and giggling, and they never come back to finish the conversation. Neither of them mind.

#jongtae #jonghyun #taemin #pg #drabble #fluff #Everyday I think about Jinx just jamming his finger through that cardboard box like it was nothing #And also when he was three fingers inside of that fish n it squirted all over his arm #And also also him four fingers into that clay #What did he train his fingers to be so strong for. What was the purpose.

[wooahaes]

Oh holy shit thank you for ur thoughts I love talking ab my boys as well sksnsksm and All the best for ur final I hope it goes great!!!

Also ab the stanning groups w at least 8 members? FUCKIN MOOD BRO

I’m into nct and svt and now treasure 💀

At this point I I’ve stopped trying to control my brain lol but like I remember being hesitant to Stan skz coz they had 9 members back then and look at me now 💀 also treasure itself has a lot of members who are younger than me which was also why it was kinda unexpected for me because I remember thinking when like the new wave of 4th gen groups started after like TXT I was like ahh yeah no they’re all p much babies I think I’m gonna chill for a lil bit and stick w my grandmas and grandpas (according to twitter which I quit because I swear that place is the ass of all fandoms) but here I am🤡

-baby teume

henlo im taking a break from final because im frustrated with this professor and her "cite at least one" preface only to get followed with like "cite more than one thing in this question" for all questions except one lmao

sdkfjsdf YEA i love getting to talk abt literally any of my groups... the day someone asks me abt SHINee will be met w immediate regret bc i love them sm. they might be the smallest group i stan with 5 members but i still

omg nct... literally im not huge into nct yet bc the number of members scare me lmao but i would live for both mark + haechan and potentially renjun too since hes a cutie and he has a pretty voice... my only exposure to nct was glitch mode + the song uhh "life is still going on" tbh. v solid stuff and im interested.

also mark's "NCTzens this is for YOU" only to miss. i saw the clip forever ago and didnt know it was him until like a week ago lmao what a cutie

ngl i wasnt into skz at first but then i think coming back to oddinary was enough to get me interested? they have a lot of rly good stuff even if im not a fan of all of it. mr chris bang... i love u...... and also innie... i wuv him...

yeah felt that abt treasure lmao im older than most of the group? which like. in junkyu's case is purely by a few months, but the rest are younger than me!! every time i find out im older than an idol im like wot. especially if they're taller than me. trsr has some babies who are fuckin TALL

i know little abt TXT except that i was given some recs by an acquaintance who i occasionally talk kpop with lol but i did see them perform at weversecon22 (via stream)!! im... literally older than almost all of them (i'm older than soobin by several months since we're both 00 liners but STILL!! hes 6'1"... fear... but also dude can u reach the shit on the top shelf thx)

also god... twitter.... my beloathed... i have a twitter i rarely use but honestly ppl over there are... cringe most of the time. the only good ones are the ones who were calling out that bee tee ess journalist for a shoddily written article that reduced jjong down to his death + had misinformation :/ i deeply appreciate that since ppl who do that piss me off

also pls feel free to send asks whenever u want <3 like i said i love talking abt my boys (and talking in general dkfhdsf)!! and ur absolutely welcome to tell me abt nct if u want since ive been meaning to get into them more <3

#wooahaes.ask #asks.anon #baby teume anon

[gaykey]

for anon asking abt problematic stuff, afaik jonghyun is the only one who’s ever officially apologized for stuff he said personally. this thread is a good read twitter com /jonghyunstory/status/1029889910466142208

oh wow, anon, thank you so much for this!

there were things here i didn't even know about or had forgotten about. i'll post a couple screenshots, but i really highly recommend everyone go read it if they haven't before.

i love him so much. what an amazing and inspiring person. i have never seen any other idol take such accountability for their actions, and actually make so much effort to do better.

we're so lucky we got to bear witness to him.

again, thank you, anon.

#anon #fave #jonghyun #shinee #and yeah as for as i know jjong is the only one who has

[tomakethisworldabetterplace]

푸른밤 : 140205/06 : “Love from the stars”

(Cr.) Translated by @BlueNight0525 - at twitter 

■ Jonghyun: When does a woman feel that the love of the man has gotten cold?

■ Joonil: Woman A who had hoped that things would stay unchanged would answer: “From the moment he told me: yeah, go back home safely. And didn’t walk me home”

■ Jonghyun: Woman B who’s sensitive to loneliness said: “When he doesn’t put down his phone when being with me. Ah.. it’s more lonely, than when I’m alone”

■ Joonil: particularly sharp Woman C said: "I can just know it. It’s women’s sixth sense."

(jjong laughs)

■ Jonghyun: Everyone, what do you think? We will talk about this together with guest Joonil Jung.”Love from the stars”. It’s the time to put a conclusion on all the indecisive dating stories by sending them. “Love from the stars”. The guest with us in this corner, the one who steers women’s feelings, sentimental music and the owner of sensibility’s face, it’s Jung Joonil-ssi! Welcome here!

■ Joonil: Hello~it’s nice to meet you!

[…]

■ Joonil: It was very pleasant to hear that Jonghyun-ssi is doing Blue Night. I too have monitored the show, it’s not that me and Jonghyun are of a close relationship, but because I have an attachment to Blue Night (Joonil was here during the previous DJ’s Blue Night), I’ve listened to the few past broadcasts.

■ Jonghyun: Oh, so you’ve tuned in

■ Joonil: You’re really truly doing magnificently great, you don’t have to worry even the slightest

■ Jonghyun: Ah, but as a DJ sunbae, can you give me some advice?

[…]

■ Joonil: I think the different aspect of it from tv programs is that you can truly hear the truth from the pretending. That’s why in the future I think that the words Jonghyun-ssi will say with kind and  warmth, they’re not onew that they will just go by and get thrown aways, but they’re words that the listeners can deeply feel.. That’s why I think, with sincerity, just like, you’ll lead the broadcast for a long time. I think it’d be nice if Jonghyun-ssi can do the broadcast for about 17 years.

■ Jonghyun: Around 17 years is my goal actually

[…]

■ Jonghyun: I wanna do it for a long time too. While meeting everyone for a long time, I want us to become familiar with each other just like family.

■ Jonghyun suddenly in the middle of talking: Your voice is really nice I keep listening with my headphones and it’s like my cochlea is getting a massage.

■ Joonil (laughs) I like how you expressed it I like it, like it

■ Jonghyun: Cochlea massage !

[...]

■ Joonil: Anyway, Blue Night is really a warm broadcast! (both laugh) It makes people feel really warm

■ Jonghyun: We’re approaching the concept of comfort and giving the feeling of healing to the other person in Blue Night

■ Joonil: Whoa, I like it. If you do it that way, then you can go on for 17 years.

(talking about woman B’s case)

■ Jonghyun: For me, I don’t like the fact of playing with your phone in front of the person you love. I think it’s a shame, really. It’s a waste of the time you can spend together and look at each other’s eyes. You’re getting that time taken away by just that little screen.

—1 am logo song

■ Joonil: Actually I felt it while listening to the broadcast, the logo song that came out right now and the middle section’s signal, it’s our Jonghyun who made them

■ Jonghyun: Yes, yes

■ Joonil: Honestly, even though it’s a short song, regardless of its short or long length, it takes a lot, a lot of devotion to make it. The music is really nice too, and honestly, with each one the listeners can feel, ah, this person thinks preciously of this position and this time. I really like this kind of sincerity, so really just like I said earlier, a goal of 17 years (laughs)

■ Jonghyun: (laughs) I’ll count it from today, the D-day for the 17 years.

[...]

(talking about dating advices)

■ Joonil: First of all, the people who criticise their gf’s appearance, first of all have yet to get a good personality! (jjong laughs) they gotta get scolded.

[...]

(talking about a story of a listener who’s friend treats her as if he loves her, but ended up wanting to introduce her to his friend, but at the same time texted her at 3 am that he doesn’t want her to start dating him, since it’d mean less time hanging out with him, Jonghyun reading listener text about that story:

■ Jonghyun: 6115-nim (Seems like the man likes her, but at the same time he doesn’t want to lose his friend, think of it as 계륵 //something that one hesitates to give up, even though it doesn't interest them much // 계륵 is also the word for chicken ribs//)

■ Jonghyun:계륵! chicken’s ribs! (laughs)

■ Joonil: Awo, you’re really smart! I read it as 계백 /gyebeak (a general in ancient korea) (laughs) I’m sorry, you’re really smart! Our Jonghyun really!!

■ Jonghyun: There’s no much meat in it, but it still feels like a waste to throw it away, that’s the kind of situation here

■ Joonil: MBC is really great, we gotta take the dj recruitment test so we can make really well wide-knowledgeable DJs  

■ Jonghyun: No, no (laughs)

(...)

■ Joonil: To be honest, in radio the best quality that a DJ can have is to be someone who lets their guest shine the most. I think that kind of DJ is the best and excellent one. Jonghyun-ssi already  has that quality, since he came prepared with such certainty. For me, not only for 17, but for 37 years! (both laugh)

■ Jonghyun: Thank you! To the point of even praising me!

#푸른밤 #kim jonghyun #jonghyun #shinee jonghyun #SHINee #blue night radio #blue night

[5hining-aus]

SHINee Proposing

proud-cat-mommy said to 5hining-aus: hi!!! i dont know how your requests work, but i would really like to read a shinee scenario with the proposal, and maybe one with the wedding planning! love your scenarios so muuuuch ♡

Hi there! I could’ve sworn that I had already done this, but I guess I haven’t! Anyway, I definitely had some ideas. Enjoy!

Onew

I know I’ve used this before, but I really like the idea of Jinki accidentally making you think he was breaking up with you when he was, in fact, doing the exact opposite

Just imagine it: you two are at a fancy restaurant, just finishing up dessert, when Jinki takes your hand in his, looks you right in the eye, and says “Y/N, I think we should stop dating”

The couple sitting at the next table is scandalized and you’re just sitting there processing your boyfriend’s (ex-boyfriend’s?) words

Like, he couldn’t have sprung this on you before the main course? And he was so nonchalant about it too

The weirdest thing was that he was still holding your hand and looking at you with nothing but love in his eyes

While you’re still trying to piece his words and actions together, Onew, oblivious to the mental gymnastics you’re performing, reaches into his suit jacket pocket and pulls out a small velvet box

Inside is a ring with the BIGGEST diamond you have ever seen. Seriously, this thing is a sparkler

You’re confused, the couple at the next table is confused, your waiter (who was hiding around the corner because he had come out just as Jinki said “We should stop dating”) is confused. Everybody is confused except for Jinki, who is waiting for your reply

Obviously, once you figure out what the heck is going on, your answer is an enthusiastic yes (though you do give Onew a light smack on the chest for making you think he was leaving you)

Jonghyun

It’s Jonghyun, we all know it’s going to be the sappiest, most sentimental proposal there ever was

He’d probably bring you somewhere that’s special to the both of you, like the place you two met or where you had your first date

To be honest, you kind of knew the proposal was coming

Your boyfriend is wonderful, but he isn’t exactly the stealthiest. He isn’t the best at hiding engagement rings either, considering the fact that you just stumbled upon it while looking for a sweater

You only saw the box, and you didn’t peek, but it was very obviously a ring box

You were still going to act surprised though

He has a whole speech prepared about how much he loves you and how happy you make him

Literal strangers who just happen to be nearby are getting teary-eyed because of how sweet his words are

He doesn’t even manage to finish his speech before you launch yourself at him, pulling him into a kiss and accepting his proposal

Key

This is another one where you know the proposal is coming before it happens. Only difference is that in this one, you know because you and Key had discussed marriage plans beforehand

You knew that there would be a proposal, but you didn’t know when or how it would happen

Basically, the proposal is a surprise, but the engagement isn’t

Anyway, that being said, Kibum’s proposal is this giant thing that probably has the media talking about it for like a week

It happens at one of his concerts. He had told you earlier to be ready and that he was going to do something. You figured that he meant something along the lines of him shouting “Y/N, I LOVE YOU!” at some point during the show. You were wrong

Instead, he pulls you up on stage and proposes to you right there, during his final part in Married To The Music

The other members are 100% in on it and they’re almost more excited to hear your response than Key is

All the Shawols in the audience are losing their minds (in a good way) and so are all the Shawols who are streaming. If you’re also a celebrity, then all your fans are freaking out as well (once again, in a good way)

You and Kibum both knew that the answer was going to be a yes (he wouldn’t have asked so publicly if he wasn’t 1000% sure of your answer) but you decided to tease him a bit and reply with something along the lines of “ hmm, maybe, I’ll think about it.” You make him wait until the end of the show to get his “yes”

Minho

Oh boy, you know that Minho has something big planned for when he pops the question

Two words: scavenger hunt

I am just now realizing that I must really like the idea of Minho planning scavenger hunts for his S/O, since this is the second time I’ve included that in a scenario

Anyways, he gets all of your mutual friends in on it and stations them at random places throughout the city, each one with a clue that’ll lead you to the next person

Well, the places aren’t totally random. They’re places that are important to the two of you, like the place where you and Minho had your first kiss (Jjong’s stationed there), or the café that sells your guys’ favourite muffins (where Jinki is stationed)

Ming put a lot of planning into this. He even made sure that you’d visit all the spots where important milestones for your relationship occurred in chronological order

And he even made all the clues into little riddles (with some help from the others)

When you finally find him (after pretty much running around the whole city), he’s all dressed up and waiting for you in a place that he had obviously been busy decorating for hours

You start putting everything together in your head and, before you can even say “oh my gosh,” Minho’s dropped to one knee and is pulling the ring out

Taemin

So, Taemin had a plan for his proposal. Keyword being “had”

His proposal plan was actually really sweet and, in his imagination, included you swooning and him sweeping you off your feet, whisking you away oh-so romantically

Yeah, it didn’t go as planned. Like, at all

He had gotten a call from the jeweller earlier, telling him that the ring was ready. He had to go to practice the next day, so he was going to pick it up on his way home from that

Well, that morning you asked him what he was doing for the day

I think we all see where this may be going

“Well, first I need to run some errands, then I’m going to go buy some groceries, go to practice, pick up your engagement ring…”

He realizes what he said pretty much immediately, but it’s too late. You had heard what he had said loud and clear

You both agree that you’re going to act surprised when he pulls the ring out later though

#SHINee AU #SHINee imagines #SHINee scenarios #SHINee x reader #SHINee #onew x reader #jonghyun x reader #key x reader #minho x reader #taemin x reader #5HINee #jinki #jonghyun #kibum #minho #taemin #Domestic!SHINee

[positeezity]

100 reasons to love song mingi !

Because he thinks when you kiss someone you’re transferring love to that person

Because while everyone else took 2-3 days to learn the boy with love choreo , he only took a few hours

Because he’s a strawberry

Cause he’s sunfish song

Cause he won the ‘i love you’ game without trying

Because during said i love you game he got spit on

After said game he also didn’t feel like a winner

Because he says he raised jongho

Because he gave yunho the softest kiss on the cheek

Because he gave his mom flowers

Because he wrote his mom a letter too

Cause he rocks any hairstyle at this point

Because he’s just a big baby

Because he looks intimidating but he isn't

Because he writes his own raps in songs

Because his rap voice is just perfection

Because “minki !!”

Because “ponyo ponyo !”

Because his aegyo

Because during charades he pretended to be a spider

Because he took advanced maths in school

Because he’s a comedy king

Because he’s a king and knows it

Cause he’s so pretty

Because sleeveless shirt mingi

Because he took a break and as a gift for fans he ripped his shirt open at mama and left everyone shook

Because he cried , feeling guilty he took said break

Because he writes his own songs

Because his fashion content called minkiway deserves more

Because his red hair stole everyone’s attention at mama

Because i can’t remember if he strangled someone or got strangled one time when he played mafia at the dorm and that’s why ateez got banned from playing mafia in the dorms

Because he started drinking cola cause of yunho

Because “i am song mingi , universal star”

Because “my parents think im an angel”

Because he always exaggerates jongho’s strength and brags about it

Because he’s such a leo

Because song mingi is the star of the show

Because song mingi

Because he loves giving forehead kisses

Because he’s sunshine as a human

Because he’s too cute for this world

Because he radiates big dick energy and that’s so sexc of him

Because im sure he loves backhugs

Because his pouty face leaves me crying

Because he’s so fucking confident YES

Because song mingi without makeup is just beautiful

Because his red hair is still missed to this day

Because seonghwa kicked a pillow and it hit his head

Because he’s the annoying younger brother we all love too much

Cause he kicked san’s um...yeah

Because his iconic ‘hakuna matata yeah’ is still chef’s kiss

Cause his voice is so deep and for whattt

Because his mic flips erghhhh

Because he’s a model

Because everytime song mingi wears a v neck I go insane

Because his feet are so skinny

Because his eyes sparkles

Because he steals the spotlight everytime he’s on screen

Because he volunteered to join oneus

Because he predicted ateez’s success in two years

Because when he feels himself while dancing , everyone swerves lanes

Because mingi in a suit

Because mingi likes watermelons

Because he single handedly established a friendship with Oneus

Because hes the main vocal

Cause he can sing amazingly well

Because his deep and soulful voice gives me shivers

Because his lyrics are always top tier

Because he cant wink

Because mingi used to be small ???

Because of how politely he rejected a girl who confessed once

Because his mole is cute

Because mingi in glasses

Because quiet and calm mingi has my heart just as much as loud mingi

Because he's the absolute best

Because hes your bias even if he isnt

Because he literally free styled a rap after forgetting and got complimented

Because his smile is the most precious thing in the world

Because mingi’s undercut

Because blond mingi

Because he is savage

Because im obsessed with his raps

Because he is an all rounded ace

Because song mingi clapping during From performance is just 🥺❤️😭

Because he and jongho were roommates for a long time and he said he would help jjong fall asleep

Because he doesn't give a fuck

Cause he stuck his hand down his pants during a live once

Cause mingi playing animal kingdom is funny

Because he's the main character

Because his acting is fucking off the hook

Because he played the part of a fighter/bully in diary film so well

Because he was a handsome strawberry

Because i want to hug him

Because he’d be the kind if boyfriend who’s your best friend

Because Princess Minki slays

Because he created the intro to his own show / content

Because his fashion sense calls me tasteless

Because Mingi works hard

Because mingi is very talented

Because no one does it like song mingi

[waitingforminjae]

Have you ever read the lyrics for Shinee's You & I or Key's I Will Fight? Key wrote them and it just hits me in my Jongkey feels.. You can tell how much he loved him and meant to him just from the lyrics. Taemin sounds like Jjong in parts of You & I it which is sad but beautiful in its own self cuz Tae admired Jonghyun so much and probably was influenced by him vocally. Onew also has a note in You & I that I could have sworn was Jjong.

Taemin really does sound so much like Jonghyun, it’s uncanny. It’s haunting when he covers his parts in songs tbh. 

I’m gonna stick the rest of this under a read more (that will hopefully work) bc I do have thoughts abt those songs, but they’re gonna be rambly and probably go between being objective and not objective, so.

[You & I Lyrics] [I Will Fight Lyrics]

First of all, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how sincere art is the purest form of expression. I believe art is our way of expressing things that we don’t have simple words for. That’s why it moves us, how it connects us together. Why it’s so beautiful, so precious, and so important. I think these songs are good examples of that.

The power of these songs is in their intimacy. They’re not for us. They’re to Jonghyun, and for Key and SHINee. I’m gonna try to respect SHINee’s privacy and not psychoanalyze or speculate about things to much, but I think it’s safe to say that they went through a traumatic experience in the public eye, and then they had to process it in the public eye as well. So, while fans are witnesses to these songs, they are not necessarily for us. That’s important to remember.

But, objectively speaking, both of these songs are absolutely breathtaking. They’re masterpieces, from a writing point of view. Which is how I’m going to try and talk about them, because I think the intimate nature of their meaning speaks for itself, and I don’t think it’s right to speculate abt it further.

The chorus in You&I is one of the most beautiful pieces of writing I think I’ve ever come across, honestly. “My heart isn’t just a decoration” is honestly devastating. Especially bc it’s delivered in such a soft way. The speaker of the song isn’t angry. They’re just being honest. It makes me think of the people who accused them of trying to use Jonghyun for clout. It’s a reminder that everything we talk about, SHINee actually experienced it. They’re the ones having to live with it. They’re real people, not just some abstract thing for us to talk about and dissect.

Honestly, the whole song is full of just really good phrases. Like, “flowers of space” is a really interesting combinations of images, and as a reader, I feel like even though it’s strange I can still see it perfectly. I do think of flowers as blooming outward, and so the simile to the words spilling out makes sense. It’s memorable. And the “handful of memories”. God. That’s just so so so gorgeous. I wish I could write like that. The “annyeong, annyeong, annyeong” makes me think of Jonghyun’s “annyeong, annyeong” in Elevator. And the line, “I’ll let you go now, but don’t think you’re just stepping over me.” GOD. The idea that the subject of the song think of the speaker as trivial, the idea that the speaker thinks the subject thinks of them as trivial, hurts so much. It’s a colloquial phrase too, which lends to that sense of intimacy I talked about earlier. But, yeah. Beautiful. So beautiful.

And I Will Fight. God. Well, first of all, if you aren’t familiar with Vinxen, I would recommend checking him out. He’s the perfect choice to feature on this song.

The lines that hit me hard were “I’m gonna be your light, so don’t be hurt anymore, I will live for you, for us,” and “the pages you couldn’t finish, I will write them,” and “I will make it so that you can find the you that you didn’t know tooA mirror of a shining me and fight for you, for us...”.

For me, this song is about the passage of time, which can be scary to think about. There’s nothing the speaker can do about the past, so all he can do is keep moving forward. He wants to keep living for this person, he knows he has to keep living, but he’s scared of how the memories will fade. Which is a deeply personal conflict, and so everything abt the lyrics are deeply personal, so I don’t really feel like discussing them to much. Because, like I said, the lyrics aren’t for us.

Anyway the tl;dr is that they’re beautiful songs that I love and only wish I could be able to write!

#the asks and the answers #i really am trying to not psychoanalyze them anymore but it's hard when talking abt 2018 stuff #shinee #key #kim kibum #kibum #key kibum #mine #p: key #god they're such beautiful songs tho #literally breathtaking #i hope this made sense anon and sorry it took so long

[norepangproject]

#1 Jonghyun and the art of storytelling

I waited a very long time before starting The Norepang Project. The main reason for my delay was that I wanted to begin writing about the perfect topic. Unfortunately, I simply couldn't figure out such a theme could be. And then, suddenly, came Spring. April is a special time of the year for me and thousands of other K-Pop stans in the world. This is the moment when we can cheerfully remember and honor one of the most talented and creative artists this industry ever had. This month is not about feeling blue or melancholic, it is about caring and cherishing his work, the other Shinee members, our fellow Shawols and our own love for him.

So, even though the 8th of April has come and gone, I decided to begin the TNP by digging in every single Jonghyun solo album. I am not talking about discussing his title tracks or B-Sides. What I intend to do is to read every single one of them as a book. Better, as a story. A story, Jonghyun, the poet, is telling us.

Our journey begins with Base*. Like most of Jjong's tales, this is one about love. But it may just be a little more poetic and less obvious than it appears at first sight. A man meets a woman, and he is rather taken aback by how attracted by her he is. Moreover, the temptation she presents is so strong that, even though she doesn't appear to correspond to his feelings, at least not on a deep emotional level, he can't help himself but pursue her. Or yet, as he seems to believe at the time, to fall into her trap. Truthfully, part of the reason why he likes her so much is that their feelings for each are unbalanced. He knows it. He enjoys it. He isn't blaming or shaming her for it, unlike his friends.

"They tell me not to get close to you, even your attractive eyes

“See, she targeted him again”

They say I’ll get hurt if I give her all my heart

The funny thing is, the pathetic thing is

Even when you’re being cunning

You’re so attractive, it’s so fatal"

- Crazy (Guilty Pleasure)

Because his desire is too big to contain, he runs after her. During this chase, his admiration for her grows deeper and deeper.

You give me greater

feelings than awe (feel so good)

You make me sing as if I’m praying

Singing hallelujah,

you got me singing hallelujah

The day I saw you for the first time

I probably used up all the luck in my life

But it’s worth it. You’re amazing, what to do with you?

-Hallelujah

And their time together is bright and sweet. It's a darling night under the moonlight. These are moments he keeps coming back to during the day, they are the source of his newfound joy.

Let’s get up now, why is it so sad?

We’ve been saying the same things for the past 30 minutes

I can’t hold your hand,

let go of your hand or hug you

So I’m only looking at your pretty eyes,

nose and red cheeks and lips

- Beautiful Tonight

But something is strange though. It is as if, under the stars' gaze, he is finally able to unravel her true self. A person she constantly tries to hide from the outside world with a cold mask. But this truer self is even brighter, is neon. She opens up a whole new set of colors for him to paint his life with.

"Don’t try to hide, I’m scared of your cold eyes

I saw the light that is you, who can’t be caught

Don’t let go of my hand

When morning comes,

when I meet someone, I feel it

The color of the world without you is boring

Even without lights, you shine even brighter

Even without lights, you shine brighter than anyone else

Show me today, show me your real face

She is a NEON, shine your light"

- Neon

However, simultaneously, he begins to be burdened by his circumstances. It's a paradoxical sensation: he enjoys their push-and-pull dynamic, the "danger" inherent to it, he can't even imagine being without her... but he seems frustrated.

"I knew I would get hurt if I touched you but I denied it

And I squeeze you even tighter

Both sides of the blade dig into me

I try to cut you out but I can take this much

I’m already disinfecting my weakened min with alcohol

Because the sin is so much sweeter than its consequences

It was already too late to stop

I’m falling deeper"

- Crazy (Guilty Pleasure)

And is due to this emotional unease felt by the narrator, that we reach the climax of the tale. These lovers to-be have a dialog. A dissonant duet, so intimate that it resonates like whispers in our ears. Love Belt is about two people opening up about their fears concerning love and a relationship. On one hand, they are scared together: about the external judgment, about the intensity and speed of these feelings. They wish to hold tight and protect one another. On the other hand, each one of them has their own concerns. This why here we are able to listen to two different voices. He is desperate and anxious: the yearning to fulfill his desires, the terrible sensation that she might slip through his fingers. She is fearful and insecure: about diving into the unknown (the dark night, the deep sea...), about the intensity of his sentiments.

"When you’re feeling frustrated

And want to get away

When you’re feeling nervous for no reason

We know, since we were born,

I feel you, propose a toast (cheers)

You don’t say it but I feel it, just like twins

I pretend to not care but I’m scared,

Hold me tight when I tremble

Because of my selfishness, I always hurt you but

Forgive me, I’m sorry"

- Love Belt

For me, the most beautiful aspect of this song is that, even though it's supposedly a dialog of lovers in despair, terribly needing each other's protection, the melody is soothing and intimate. At first sight, however, what might appears contradictory is natural: they need to open up and talk about their differing perspectives, but they are already in love. Furthermore, is if he already sensed the source of her insecurities. Jonghyun, through his lyrics, indicates that she is hiding her true self from the world, afraid of being exposed, almost as if she believes to be undeserving of affection. The narrator tries to sue her concerns.

I lack nothing when I have you by my side

I can do everything,

I can shine on my own

Don’t leave me alone in the dark night

Don’t go anywhere by yourself,

you know (You know what I’m saying)

Even without lights, you shine brightly

Even without lights, you dazzlingly shine

Show me today, show me your real face

(show me the real you)

She is a NEON, shine your light

- Neon

Jonghyun tries to soothe ours: You deserve love too. You have to love yourself.

Somehow the first track of the album, Deja-boo already outlines this whole plot. There is one-side love, growing affection, deep desire, and a promise of protection.

"Stay, Oh It’s a deja vu

Oh deja vu, I saw you before, yeah you saw me right?

I’m not like the others

I won’t make you cry and leave like him"

- Déjà Boo

I like to believe, that since Deja-boo is so upbeat and sensual and, like Fortune Cookie is about intertwining destinies, they lived happily ever after.

**** SO I HAVE TALKED ABOUT MONODRAMA BUT THE TEXT IS TOO LONG. PROMISE TO DO SO SOON.

Oh, please check out THE NOREPANG PROJECT Twitter, Instagram and Cronogram 

#shinee #5hinee #shinee jjong #jjong #jjongsmonth #april #jjongsapril #jonghyun #kimjonghyun #key #kibum #taemin #minho #jinki #onew #shineekey #shinee taemin #shinee onew #shinee minho #shinee jonghyun #jonghyun poet #jonghyun writer #base #jonghyun base #first mini album base #jonghyun and the art of storytelling #norebang #tnp #kpo #kpopblog

[rollercoasterwrite]

I’m So Curious [Chapter 1]

Part 1 of my story written for Jjong’s Month and for my lovely Dee @jjongyyu

Here are the ones I wrote last year : Just For A Day & Love Is So Nice

Prompt :  Jjong is a college student with tight money, but manages to get into a prestigious uni where he becomes friends with Taemin. One day, Tae asks him to go out on a blind date with his cousin Jinki, a notable lawyer who still hesitates about dating someone. Jjong refuses, but the amount of money Tae offers is a sight he can’t ignore. Jinki adores him immediately and after several dates, Jonghyun falls in love with Jinki, but he doesn’t know how to tell Jinki about his agreement with Tae.

Pairing : Jongyu 

Genre : romance, some fluff, probably angst, smut eventually XD

TW : I don’t know if it’s really triggering to anyone, but Jjong curses a lot in this one and is kinda crude so yeah at least you have been warned. XD

Word Count : 6500 ~ 

Links : AFF & AO3

Special thanks to Cheryl for being my beta and making it possible for me to release part I before the month ended.

"What's your type?'' The blonde cocked an eyebrow. ''What has that got to do with anything?'' The brunette shrugged. ''Just wondering...'' He said, giving his straw another mindless chew before going on. ''I've just never seen you show interest in anyone.'' The other frowned, confused.

''Again, why did that pop up in your mind just now?'' ''Jeez, can't I just ask a question?'' the younger one retorted, frustration now edging his tone. '' I know you, Tae,'' the blonde immediately clapped back. ''You never just ask a question.'' His statement had the other snorting in indignation.

''Is that really what you think of me, Jjong?'' ''Yes,'' the blonde squarely replied before taking another sip of his iced coffee. He watched as his friend settled into grumpy mode with a scoff and a determined cross of the arms. He couldn't help but puff out laughing at the childish display. ''I know you'll eventually spill it…'' Jonghyun taunted, lopsided smile dancing on his lips. ''I hate you,'' Taemin spat with spite that only manifested when he didn't get his way. ''Good luck with that,'' Jonghyun replied with a chuckle. A sense of victory swelled in his chest as he watched his friend struggle to come up with a comeback. The silence gave him some time to look around the nearly empty café they regularly visited to get some school work done or chat. He could never stop himself from taking in the peaceful setting, even though he’d probably seen it a million times now. With its white-framed casement windows that let the natural light in, its bare white walls opening up the space, the various-sized potted plants adding life and color around them, and the rustic furniture that contrasted so perfectly against all the light, it just felt to him like his little corner of paradise. It was even more beautiful now that the setting sun bathed the space with dancing lights of pink and orange. If the moment wasn't already perfect, the warm and full aroma of fresh coffee filling up the space left not even a modicum of place for discontent. Jonghyun felt good, and not even the sight of his friend's disgruntled expression was going to change that. ''Can I order us another round of coffee or are you just going to storm out like a little bitch and leave me hanging?'' he half-asked, half-baited. Taemin's gaze narrowed at the jab. Jaw tense, he replied, ''Call me a little bitch one more time and that coffee will end up in your face.'' '' I'll take that as a yes for the coffee then, '' Jonghyun concluded, not at all fazed by the other's threat.

He knew of his friend's evil ways, but for some reason, the latter seemed to know there was no point trying anything with him.

As soon as they received their refill of iced coffee, the younger one seemed to relax and, soon enough, he was back on topic. ''Jjongie...'' he cooed, shifting into his characteristic charmer mode. ''No.'' Jonghyun didn't need to hear the rest. He already knew he wasn't going to like it. ''You don't even know what I was going to say," Taemin whined with pouting lips. ''Right, but I already know my answer.'' ''What if I was just going to ask for a ride home?'' the fluffy-haired brunette argued. ''But you weren’t, so cut the crap,'' Jonghyun bluntly dismissed. He caught the glare that his friend shot him before he took in more caffeine.

The younger one's frustration soon turned into a desperate sigh, signalling he was about to crack open. ''Look, I need a favor,'' he finally revealed. ''Ask Kibum,'' Jonghyun indicated. The younger one scrunched up his nose in disgust.

''Ew, no. Just imagining them...'' The retching gesture that followed wasn't enough to distract the blonde from what he had just caught in the other's unintentional admission. ''Them?'' he echoed, confused. ''Who is the other person?'' Taemin froze at that, the only movement perceptible being that of his furious blinking.

''Tae??'' Jonghyun called out as confusion and nervousness simultaneously grew inside him. ''Yeah, um...'' the brunette cleared his throat. ''The other person's my cousin,'' he finally said. Jonghyun frowned deeply.

''What's your cousin got to do with anything? '' ''He has to do with the favor I need from you,'' Taemin outlined before deflecting his attention to his chewed-up straw. ''The fuck?'' the older one exclaimed as he stared incredulously at his friend. It was a few more seconds before the other stopped his balancing act of chewing on plastic and drinking. ''You know my cousin, Jinki, that I sometimes talk about?'' Taemin started. ''You mean, that you always talk about, '' Jonghyun rectified, not without an edge of annoyance to his tone. ''That is not true,'' the other instantly countered. ''Riiight,'' Jonghyun derided. “I must be imagining all these times you've been going on about something he said or did.''

''No, you're not. But it's definitely not all the time.'' If there was something that Jonghyun had come to learn about the beautiful young man he spent a lot of his waking hours with, it was that he was incredibly stubborn. Jonghyun had seen that attribute work in amazing ways, especially when it came to his dancing skills. But he had also seen it work in the most annoying and infuriating ways, and this moment was definitely more proof of that. ''Whatever,'' Jonghyun brought himself to say to avoid any blood being shed on the beautiful table between them. ''Anyway,'' Taemin went on. ''Jinki's been feeling lonely and I thought I should help him out a bit, you know, since he's helped me so much throughout the years.'' ''Are you going to suck his dick or something?'' Jonghyun couldn't help but voice. ''Eeeeew,'' the younger one all but yelled. ''He's my cousin!!'' ''The way you get all excited whenever you talk about him makes me wonder sometimes... '' ''You're fucking gross, Kim Jonghyun.'' That made the blonde's eyebrow cock. ''Interesting...'' he mused. ''What?'' ''Seems like I hit a sensitive cord,'' Jonghyun noted matter-of-factly. ''Stop that,'' the brunette said in his most authoritative tone, which didn't feel that convincing to the other. ''Don't worry about it, Tae. Apparently, that happens between cousins more than we think.'' The death stare he received made it hard for him to keep a straight face, the tickling edge of laughter bringing a twitch to his lips. ''I swear... '' Taemin grumbled as a visible clench graced his jaw. He forced himself to roll his tongue in his mouth a few times like his mom had taught him as a kid before resuming. ''I need you to go on a date with him.'' ''No. '' Jonghyun didn't even need to hear more. He wasn't going to entertain any of it.

His response had the other sighing deeply. ''I knew it would play out this way,'' Taemin indicated as he looked straight into the older one's eyes. ''That's why I'm ready to pay.’' ''Excuse me??'' Jonghyun loudly exclaimed. The other's silence and serious expression only got him more riled up. ''Do I look like a fucking prostitute to you?'' ''I'm not asking that you have sex with him. I just want him to get back into the dating scene,'' Taemin calmly explained. ''That's cool and all, but why me?'' Jonghyun had no choice but to ask, bewilderment splashed all across his face. ''I feel like you two could get along,'' Taemin answered. ''Plus, he's always had a thing for petite guys.'' ''I'm not petite,'' Jonghyun growled, gaze turning dark. ''Fine, you're a fucking mountain,'' Taemin conceded with a slight eyeroll to spare himself a pointless argument. ''Look,'' he quickly followed with. ''You just have to go on one date and in return, you won't have to be so stressed out about money all the time.'' The tension that had settled on the blonde's face morphed into another look of disbelief. ''Are you actually hearing yourself right now?'' ''Yes, I hear myself just fine,'' Taemin replied without shame. ''Sex or no sex, what you are asking of me is still prostitution,'' Jonghyun pointed out bluntly. ''No,'' Taemin squarely countered. ''I asked for a favor and you said no, so I'm adding money into the mix so that it's still a win for you in the end.'' ''I can't accept your money.'' ''Yes, you can, and you will.'' The blonde gave him a wide-eyed stare.

''The fuck?'' The brunette sighed.

''I know you've worked really hard to get to where you're at, but you deserve to have some space to breathe. That's what I'm really offering you,'' he added for emphasis. Jonghyun was at a loss for words. He knew Taemin meant well, but that whole deal didn't feel right. On the flip side, getting some extra money would definitely alleviate the burden he carried with him all the time. Getting into his dream school had been a big part of the battle, but actually being able to pay all the fees that came with studying there was a strenuous challenge in itself. He could only do so many hours of work without it affecting his grades and he had already reached that limit. ''Like I said, I only ask for one date,'' Taemin reiterated. ''And you can consider this whole semester dealt with.'' If Jonghyun's eyes could've grown any bigger, they would have at that moment. ''You're tripping...'' That made the younger one laugh. ''I've actually had time to think this through,'' Taemin informed him. ''So I understand if you need some time to think about it, too.'' ''I...'' Jonghyun's eyes darted towards his half-filled cup as his mind mulled over the offer. He knew he should stick to his no, but Taemin had effectively spoken to the part of him that ached for some relief. ''I'll think about it,'' he finally said as he brought his gaze up once more. Taemin grinned. ''Thanks, Jjong.'' In that moment, a lump of nervousness formed in the blonde's throat. He realized he had just sealed the deal.

                                                         ***

I can’t believe I’m doing this, he thought as he stared at the restaurant’s elegant façade.

It was probably now close to ten minutes since he had parked on the other side of the street, building up the courage to follow through with the offer his evil best friend had made him.

He still couldn’t believe he had agreed to it, but here he was, all dressed up, black dress shirt and black pants sticking to him like a second skin and the shaggy bangs that usually covered his forehead now slicked back with some gel to make himself look a bit more presentable. He had even traded his worn-out pair of converse shoes for polished leather loafers. The only thing that had been a non-negotiable for him was the tie. He felt like a fraud, but having agreed to do this, he wasn’t just going to half-ass the task at hand. Despite everything, he still didn’t want to make a bad impression on his best friend’s cousin.

He hated to admit it, but he was nervous. He didn’t know what to expect or what to do, or even what to say. This could be a whole disaster, and if it was, he knew Taemin would never let him hear the end of it. He didn’t do dates and he didn’t do formal wear. But again, here he was, getting ready to play the part.

I’m fucking pathetic.

He dropped his bare forehead onto the steering wheel, rapidly losing all resolve he had mustered up on his way there. He could’ve pretty much stayed in that position for the rest of night, but the sudden buzzing of his phone in his pocket jolted him back upright.

He looked at his screen and his heart jumped. He couldn’t hide anymore.  

''Hello?'' he answered as his body temperature jumped up a few degrees.

''Am I speaking to Jonghyun?'' the voice at the other end uttered.

The blonde froze for a moment, taking aback by the soft but deep tone that had just graced his ear.

''Hello?''  

''Y-yes, it’s me,'' Jonghyun stammered despite himself.

Fuck. They hadn’t even met yet and he was already screwing this up.

''Hi, it’s Jinki. Taemin’s cousin,'' the other man went on.

''Ah, yes. Nice to- I mean, um-''

He cut himself off, realizing whatever would come out of his mouth now would just further embarrass him.  

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

His obvious clumsiness was apparently amusing to the other one because he suddenly laughed.

And that laugh did nothing to help Jonghyun recover brain cells.

''I’m already in the restaurant. Are you here yet?'' Jinki asked.

''Um, yeah… Well, I’m just outside. I’ll be right there,'' Jonghyun answered.

''Okay, well I’m in a dark grey suit and I’m wearing glasses,'' the other informed.

''Cool,'' Jonghyun uttered as he tried to form an image of what the other looked like.

''So…''

The sound of the other’s voice brought him back to reality. He instantly gave himself a mental kick for getting lost in his thoughts.

''Yes, um, okay, I’ll be hanging up now,'' he indicated before doing exactly that.

Okay, Jjong. You’re already making a damn fool of yourself. Get it together.

He took a few deep breaths before finally turning off the car’s engine and stepping out into the mild weather.

For a moment, he thought about bailing out and getting back into the car, but he knew how much of an asshole that would make him feel like. And he definitely was no asshole. Plus, he couldn’t help but think about the money involved.

Well, maybe that made him an asshole.

He managed to push back all of these thoughts in favor of finally getting himself past the entrance door. Hand on the handle, he pushed it open and stepped inside, relinquishing his fate to the wicked hands of the universe. He barely had time to look around when his eyes fell on a sight he was sure he’d never forget.

Jonghyun froze midstep as his gaze took in a gorgeous man whose clothes fit the description he had received a few minutes earlier.

''Jinki?'' he managed to utter despite feeling like his whole nervous system was about to collapse on him.

The man’s face lit up at the sound of his name and as soon as their eyes met, he flashed him a stunning smile.

''Jonghyun!'' he reciprocated enthusiastically as he took a few steps towards him.

It took Jonghyun everything not to step back and run out through the door. This was definitely worse than he had expected. The man was… A few words popped up in his mind, all of them just making it harder for him not to lose his composure.

''Happy to meet you,'' the brunette said before bowing before him.

Jonghyun returned the gesture, bending further down, since he was the younger one.

''Happy to meet you, too,'' he echoed once he rose back up.

He tried a smile, but it felt too forced, too staged. If there was something Jonghyun wasn’t good at, it was definitely acting.

''Have you ever been here before?'' Jinki promptly asked.

''Um, no…'' Jonghyun answered, slightly embarrassed.

He had done his research earlier that week when Taemin had sent him the address only to learn that this restaurant was one of the finest in the area. He could barely afford the essentials so there was no way he had any extra to be visiting these places. Nor did he ever really have any interest to.

''Ah, it’s okay,'' Jinki reassured with a softer but equally dashing smile. '' I’m glad this is your first time. ''

Jonghyun froze again, eyes wide, as his mind ran straight to the gutter with the other’s words.

The latter seemed to notice as he suddenly chuckled nervously, ''That probably didn’t come out right. I’m sorry.''

Jonghyun’s eyebrow cocked as he stared at the other. Is he for real?

The subtle blush he caught on the taller one’s face told him that it was indeed an honest mistake.

''I’m- I’m sorry…''

Jonghyun instantly felt bad. He was the one catching double entendres where there was none.

''Don’t be, please,'' he implored. ''I’m sorry, it’s me… I’m being a little weird …''

The brunette seemed to relax at that. Retrieving his smile, he said, ''This is a little never-wracking, huh?''

''Yeah,'' Jonghyun admitted as he rubbed the back of his neck with one hand.

''Well, it’s nothing a little alcohol can’t fix, right?’' Jinki playfully remarked.

That made the blonde laugh.

''Definitely.''

Any words he would’ve said next died in his throat as the brunette’s eyes zeroed in on him in a focused and extremely unnerving way.

''Um… should we go to our table now?'' he found the courage to say as he deliberately avoided the other’s intent gaze.

That fortunately was enough to snap the other out of whatever trance he had been in.

''Yes, of course,'' he replied, quickly clearing his throat.

They first stopped at the front desk, Jonghyun just tagging along as Jinki gave the elegantly clad lady before them his name for the reservation. She then led them into the restaurant, walking them past the tables until they reached the back where a beautifully set table awaited them.

Along the way, Jonghyun had stolen glances around, taking in the contrasting elegance of the furniture with the robustness of the ceiling-to-floor pillars that gave the space more character and charm. He was even more pleased by the warm lighting that completed the portrait like icing on a cake, giving the room an intimate vibe.

Once the lady had finished setting the menus on the table and another came in to fill up their glasses with water, they sat, finding themselves alone.

''So, what’s your poison?'' Jinki immediately asked.

The blonde’s brow cocked.

''Shouldn’t we be ordering some expensive wine or something?''

''We could, if that’s what you want, but I’d rather you tell me what you like,'' Jinki indicated.

For some reason, that was enough to make Jonghyun’s heart jump inside his chest again.

''Um, well… I don’t drink often, but I really like rum,'' he shared as he tried not to linger on his body’s unsolicited reaction.

''Great,'' Jinki exclaimed as his face lit up even more. ''That’s my favorite.''

Immediately after, he gestured to one of the waiters in sight and ordered two glasses of a brand of rum Jonghyun was sure he had never tasted before. The order was served to them a few seconds later, the golden-brown liquid swaying beautifully inside the clear glasses.

Jinki was the first to pick up his glass.

''To a beautiful evening,'' he softly said as he lifted it.

''To a beautiful evening,'' Jonghyun reciprocated with a small smile before they both brought their glasses to their lips.

The taste that graced the blonde’s tongue was a perfect mix of strong, velvety, and sweet, making it impossible for him not to moan from contentment.

''That is the best rum I’ve ever had,'' he enthused, before realizing the other’s gaze had changed again.

He didn’t know what it was, but he could definitely feel himself tense up because of it. Fortunately, he didn’t have to speak this time for the other one to get back into conversation.

''I would have to agree with that,'' Jinki finally said with a smile.

''I’m guessing everything here is great, huh?'' the blonde gathered.

''Yeah, I’d say so,'' Jinki confirmed. ''Although…'' he went on immediately after, ''I pretty much always order the same thing, so I’m probably not the best person to ask,'' he admitted in a somewhat apologetic tone.

''What’s your order?'' Jonghyun asked with genuine interest.

''Their duck confit.''

The blonde stared blankly at him for a few seconds as his mind tried to figure out whatever that could be.  

His confusion must’ve shown clear because the other chuckled before saying, ''It’s basically duck cooked in its own fat.''

Jonghyun grimaced at that.

''That doesn’t sound very appetizing to me.’'

''I can understand,'' Jinki said with another soft laugh. ''So what kind of food do you usually enjoy?''

''Um… pretty simple stuff I guess,'' Jonghyun answered, suddenly feeling embarrassed.

The brunette acknowledged those words with a nod.

''To be honest, I just love to eat, so give me anything and I’m in.''

The blonde snorted out a laugh at that.

''Sounds like Taemin.''

He was answered with a broad smile.

''I guess we have some things in common.''

Yeah, a stunning face seems to be one of them, Jonghyun replied in the safety of his mind.

''By the way, I’ve been curious to know how you two became friends,'' the older one went on as he picked up his glass again.

''Oh, that…'' Jonghyun uttered mindlessly. ''I don’t know if it’s a funny story or if it’s just really cringy…''

''Now you have me even more intrigued,'' Jinki prodded with a grin.  

''Well, if you must know,'' Jonghyun started, realizing this was another chance for him to get back at the little brat.  ''I first met him at a school party last year. I didn’t want to go in the first place, but a friend of mine insisted, so I tagged along. When we arrived there, my friend quickly abandoned me for a girl, leaving me alone in the midst of hundreds of strangers. At that point, I was just going to leave, but someone approached me. At first, I thought he looked cute, but as soon as he started talking, I could see he was pretty far gone. He said a lot of things, things that could’ve gotten him in deep shit if he had said them to any other guy. ''

''Oh god,'' Jinki suddenly interjected as a look of worry settled on his face.

''Don’t worry, this ends well,'' Jonghyun reassured with a small laugh.

''Good, please continue.''

''So, like I said, I wanted to leave, but I couldn’t help but fear what might happen if I left him there. I ended up asking him to follow me and we got out. Then I asked where his dorm room was, but he never managed to tell me, so I brought him back to mine. I got him into bed and he immediately fell asleep before waking up a few minutes later and puking all over the floor. He didn’t even seem to notice though, because he went right back to sleep after that. And then the next morning, once he was alert enough that I could walk him through what had happened, he apologized, thanked me a million times and hung around for the rest of the morning. I still didn’t understand what his deal was, but it felt weirdly comfortable to have him there. And then, I guess it just picked up from that.''

''That’s Taemin’s charm for you,'' Jinki acknowledged with what seemed like a prideful smile.

Jonghyun snorted again, ''Yeah, I guess.''

A full laugh rolled out of the brunette.

''You’ve obviously seen all that comes with that charm, too.''

''Definitely,'' Jonghyun replied immediately.

Jinki laughed some more.

''Well, thank god you were there that night and that you’re still in his life. You seem to be a good influence on him.''

The blonde’s brow cocked.

''A good influence?''

''Yeah,'' Jinki validated. ''Tae talks about you all the time and one of the things that always comes back is his admiration for your passion and work ethic. You seem to have rubbed off on him because I can see how serious he is about things now.''

Jonghyun was trying to keep his face under control, but he knew he was failing at hiding his surprise and utter shock.

''He’s never…. I didn’t know he…''

And he was also failing to verbalize any coherent thought.

''Taemin will never outright tell you this, but what I know is that he doesn’t hang out with someone if he doesn’t really love them.''

''Yeah… I guess,'' Jonghyun admitted as he unconsciously rubbed the back of his neck again. ''What about you and Tae?'' he inquired to get the focus off of himself. ''You two seem pretty close.''

He was first answered with a beaming smile that turned his mouth dry. He quickly reached for his glass and took another sip.

''Yes, we are. It’s just always been like that despite our age gap. I’m an only child so my parents would bring me to my aunts’ and uncles’ houses a lot and I always had the most fun with Taemin. He was always so joyful and full of life, and that always made me feel happy. As we grew up, that bond deepened and now, I just see him as my little brother.''

''That’s… really nice,'' Jonghyun said, feeling touched despite himself.

''Yeah,'' Jinki agreed. '' He’s always bringing good into my life.''

Their eyes locked at that and Jonghyun’s heart did another somersault.

''Um, so… shouldn’t we order or something?'' he uttered as his eyes darted back to his glass.

''Shouldn’t you look at the menu first?'' Jinki pointed out with a teasing edge to his tone.

Shit.

''Uh, yeah. Of course.''

After looking at a bunch of items that didn’t make any sense to him, he finally settled for the swiss chard and goat cheese cannelloni. He was pretty sure a pasta dish wouldn’t disappoint his taste buds.

Once their orders were placed, the conversation lulled for a bit, leaving Jonghyun time to assess everything that had happened up until now. He couldn’t say things were going badly. On the contrary, but that just made it all the more confusing for him. Without thinking, he brought his glass to his lips again and downed the rest of the liquid, which he immediately regretted when the fire that suddenly blew up in his throat made him cough uncontrollably.

''Are you alright?'' Jinki asked as he gave him a worried look.  

Jonghyun nodded through his coughing fit. It took a few more seconds for his airways to clear out and bring him back to a peaceful state.

''I’m sorry… I…''

''Are you okay?''

The genuine concern he could read on the other’s face made him feel even more self-conscious and stupid. He couldn’t help but look away.

''Yes, I just…''

He didn’t even know what to say. And he couldn’t even use his glass as a distraction anymore.

Dammit.

''Can I tell you something?''

Jonghyun looked up again, curious as to what that thing might be.

''Yes?''

''I haven’t been on a date in years,'' Jinki shared.

Jonghyun blinked at him in surprise.

''Seriously?''

''Yes,'' the brunette reiterated with a sheepish smile. ''I’ve never really made time for anything that didn’t have to do with work.''

''So, what’s changed now?'' Jonghyun couldn’t help but ask.

''Hmm…'' Jinki pondered. ''Well… I guess I’ve finally realized how much I was missing out on.''

''Oh, well, from what I’ve heard you’ve made a pretty good life for yourself already,'' the blonde pointed out.

''I guess in terms of social status, yes, but in my everyday life, things were starting to get…'' he paused, looking nowhere in particular. ''Repetitive.''

''Oh, and here I thought lawyers had the most exciting lives,'' Jonghyun mocked without thinking.

His eyes instantly grew wide as he realized what he had just said.

''I didn’t mean to-''

Jinki laughed, ''I get it. I could try to defend my job, but being a corporate lawyer really isn’t exciting.''

''So why do you do it?''

''Because that’s what was expected of me. And I’m good at it,'' Jinki laid out openly.

''But… ''

Jonghyun couldn’t even begin to understand how someone could just go about a job without being really passionate about it. He had fought all his life to be able to pursue music as a career because, in the end, there was nothing else he could see himself doing.

''It's alright,'' Jinki laughed off. ''I dodged having to go into the medical field, so that's a win in my book." Jonghyun was tempted to dig further, to understand why the other had settled for a life without much agency, but he didn't feel like it was his place. ''Have I just lost you?'' the brunette inquired. Jonghyun caught the flash of fear that went through his gaze and felt his chest tighten. ''No, not at all,'' he instantly reassured. ''I'm just... intrigued,'' he chose after a moment of thought. ''Okay." A second after, the brunette picked up his glass and downed it just as he had a few minutes before. The gesture surprised him and even more so the absence of coughing that followed. ''Let me order us another round of rum and you can ask away," the older one indicated before doing just that. What followed was a pretty intimate exchange on how they had been brought up, an exchange during which the blonde found himself revealing a lot more than he would have ever imagined. They had just met and there he was talking about how the only good thing his mother had ever done for him was kick him out. By then, they were both half-way through their meals and the place had become even more crowded, but that did nothing to distract them from one another. ''She kicked you out?" Jinki exclaimed, eyes growing wide behind his thick frames. "Well, yeah. She couldn't have a defiant son disturbing her peace all the time," Jonghyun intoned with full-fledged sarcasm. "That's horrible," Jinki voiced in shock.

''Yeah, but it turned out for the best,'' Jonghyun observed. ''Living with my sister helped me get my shit together and get me to where I am now." Silence followed his words as the other looked straight into his eyes. Jonghyun felt a shiver run down his spine. "You're incredible." At that, he was pretty sure the man before him was out to kill him. His heart raced as the words rang loud in his mind. "I'm sure I wouldn't have had that resolve if I were in your place," the other then noted. The blonde wanted to argue and dismiss any credit the other was attributing him, but the dark chocolate orbs he was plunged into took the words right out of him. A little voice in his head told him to stop staring, but he felt paralyzed. He was praying the other would break the spell by looking away, but he didn't. "Do I have something on my face?" Jinki inquired, titter vibrating in his voice. Yes, your face. "No, I'm sorry... I just zoned out..." Jonghyun excused as convincingly as he could. "I get it. I would zone out, too, if we were talking about my painful memories," Jinki remarked, offering him an apologetic look. "It's fine, really," Jonghyun quickly replied as to not blow his cover. "Even so, why don't we move on to lighter stuff now?" the older one proposed with a broad smile that crinkled his eyes. Or perhaps, could we move to a bed? Jonghyun couldn't help but think as the sight before him awakened a part of him he usually managed to keep under control. "Yeah, sure," he said, reciprocating with a smile of his own. The conversation went on from there to discussions on their favorite things, like books, movies, and music. Even though they didn't always share common knowledge or taste in these things, their openness to each other made the rest of the evening go by pleasantly. "Did you enjoy your meal?" Jinki asked after the table had been cleared. "Yeah, it was pretty good," Jonghyun genuinely answered. The brunette grinned. "Glad it was. Do you want dessert?" he then offered. "Hmm... I'd say yes, but I'm pretty stuffed," Jonghyun admitted with a breathy laugh. "We can share," the other proposed before crossing his arms over the draped table. "Their crème brûlée is fantastic and I'd love for you to have a taste." Jonghyun felt his mouth go dry. Even if he would've wanted to say no, the eagerness he could hear in the other's tone had him do the contrary. "Okay, sure," he uttered, hoping his answer came off as nonchalant. He received another eye-blinding smile before the other took the lead again and ordered the aforementioned dessert. It was a few minutes before a small ceramic dish was placed between them. Jonghyun stared at the caramelized crust with interest before his eyes went to the utensils. There was only one spoon. "Um... They forgot a spoon," Jonghyun indicated as his eyes flicked up to the brunette. " I'm not averse to sharing a spoon, so you can eat first, " Jinki naturally settled before picking up the spoon and handing it to him. Jonghyun took it, feeling somewhat uneasy. "Have as much as you want," the other then added with what was meant to be a reassuring smile. But Jonghyun just felt more unnerved by it. All the attention was on him and even though that was something he relished in regards to his music, it wasn't something he loved getting in any other context. Especially not right now, when the attention was coming from a man who seemed to know just what to do to get him riled up. "Please, eat," Jinki urged as his smile grew wider. At that, Jonghyun had no other choice but to comply. He scooped out a spoonful of the creamy custard that hid under the thin crust and brought the spoon to his lips. A subtle flutter graced his lashes as he had his first taste. The sweet eggy flavor mixed with the creamy but light texture felt like a true gift to his taste buds.

"So? Do you like it?" Jinki inquired as a soft smile danced on his full lips.

" Oh, yeah, so good," Jonghyun drawled as his eyes zeroed in on the dent he had made in the dish.

A full laugh rumbled out of the brunette's mouth.

"Enjoy."

Jonghyun met his eyes for a second before he plunged the spoon right back in. The second bite felt even more divine than the first and before he could let himself think, he went in for a third, fourth, and fifth spoonful.

It was only when his mind caught up with his stomach again that he realized that more than half of the receptacle was empty. His eyes widened.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry," he apologized as he put the utensil down and lowered his head like a child awaiting punishment.

He missed the expression of confusion that splayed across the other's face, but heard his words loud and clear.

"You have nothing to be sorry about. This was for you."

Jonghyun dared look up, inheriting the confused look in turn.

"I thought you wanted to share," he pointed out.

The brunette shrugged.

"I've had this dessert a million times. I'm not missing out."

"Still, I-"

"You can have it," Jinki interrupted purposefully.

Jonghyun blinked at him for a few seconds.

"Is it because of the spoon? I can ask-"

"No," the brunette interjected again. "I just want you to have it."

Jonghyun searched his face for any sign that he was lying, but found none.

"Plus," the older one went on, "I've put on a few pounds from stress eating so you'll be doing me a favor if you finish this," he ended with an embarrassed smile that leaned into an airy laugh.

Cute, Jonghyun’s mind prompted without notice. The thought had the blonde looking at the dessert again, not trusting himself one bit if he kept his eyes on the other man facing him.

Best that I just eat this so that I can get out of here.

Jonghyun did just that and soon enough, one of the waiters brought over the bill, immediately handing it to the brunette.

"Shouldn’t there be two?" Jonghyun immediately inquired as he furrowed his brows.

The older one let a pleased smile stretch wide across his face.

"Should there be?"

A shiver ran boldly across the blonde’s spine at that.

"Well, yeah… I mean… "

"I brought you here, so it’s on me," Jinki settled gently.

Before Jonghyun could slide in a word of protest, the brunette made his move and gestured to the same waiter that had lingered nearby. Jonghyun just watched as he felt robbed once more of a parcel of his dignity.

A few minutes later, they were finally heading out, the now cooler breeze of the evening meeting them upon their first step out of the restaurant. A moment of shared silence grew between them as they stood before the entrance and gazed into the half-busy street.

"So… " Jonghyun trailed off into silence.

He really didn’t know what to say at this point. The reality of this only being a one-time thing suddenly loomed in the forefront of his mind.

"Can I be honest with you, Jonghyun?" Jinki suddenly asked as he turned a bit more towards him.

The blonde felt himself tense up a bit at the additional proximity, but composed himself enough to nod.

"I would love for this to happen again," the older one instantly voiced.

His expression seemed serious enough for Jonghyun to believe his words, which only made his heart leap and his stomach flutter.

How does he do that? he couldn’t help but wonder as he felt all control seep out of him through now sweaty hands.

"Me, too," he agreed before time stretched too long between them.

Jinki smiled wide and bright.

"Glad to hear that."

Jonghyun made it a point to keep holding his gaze and return his smile, despite his main effort being on keeping himself together.

"I’ll be texting you soon, okay?" Jinki asked, his tone soft and easy.

"‘Kay," Jonghyun replied as he retreated to his nervous habit of rubbing the back of his neck.

"Did you come here by car?" the brunette then verified.

"Yeah, it’s right over there," the blonde indicated as he pointed towards an early 2000s white Corolla across the street.

"Good," Jinki acknowledged as his gaze followed. "I’ll let you go then. Goodnight, Jonghyun," he offered as departing words before flashing a last smile that read as soft but straightforward.

"Goodnight, Jinki," Jonghyun echoed as his face broke into a bashful smile.

They parted ways right after, Jinki heading farther down the street while Jonghyun headed straight to his car.

The blonde settled quickly into his seat, his head yearning to find the comfort of the steering wheel again. A big sigh left his lips as his forehead hit the sturdy surface.

As his eyes closed, his mind immediately formed an all too vivid image of the man he had spent the evening with. He could once again see his coiffed, but oh-so-soft looking hair, his beautiful bushy eyebrows under which thick frames sat perfectly on a proud nose, and his full lips that didn't waste a chance to stretch into one of the most beautiful smiles Jonghyun had seen in his life. The image could've trailed further down, but Jonghyun knew to draw the line there if he didn't want to make his pants any tighter.

He wasn't going to fool anyone, especially not himself. He was wildly attracted to this man.

And that was a problem.

                                                          ***

#jongyu #jjongsmonth #jjongsmonth2020 #jjongsmonth3rdedition #sarastuff:jongyu #jonghyun #onew #taemin #kibum #minho #shinee #shinee fanfic #yooo I don't even know how I've written stuff these past few weeks but hey at least got something done before the month ended #please let me know if you read and enjoyed it or didn't enjoy it haha #oof

[shawol9196]

Off-Air (Oneshot; Jongho; ~2.2k)

When Jinki drives Jonghyun home from the radio station meeting, he learns a little more about his off-air life than he’s expecting. 

“So why do you dislike that Choi guy so much?” one of the other DJs asks as Jinki sits down next to Jonghyun. 

It’s weird for them to all be here together: a huge gathering of DJs and radio staff all gathered into a tiny bar. But Jinki’s excited for a night out without having to be on interacting-with-consumers behavior, so he figures he’ll let it unfold as it will. 

Jonghyun takes a sip of whatever soju concoction he’d ordered before looking over. 

“Well first off he’s my number one competitor for my time slot.”

“You know you don’t own the hours of 12-2am, right?” Jinki teases.

Jonghyun glares and Jinki isn’t sure if it’s at the comment or the interruption. “Second, it’s annoying to have listeners calling in to talk about another DJ while you’re DJing, if you didn’t know. His music is too broad in genre. Like I get it’s a show of soundtracks but I’m not and never will be emotionally ready to switch from “My Heart Will Go On” right into “Footloose.” Also he’s too damn tall.”

Jinki nearly spits out his drink at the last item in the list. The other DJ had wandered off halfway through the spiel, but now Jinki’s interest was piqued. 

“Too tall?”

“He’s 6’2” and that’s too tall.”

“And that matters...?”

“Jinki I know you’re my boss and you know I cherish you in that way and also in a friendly way but you’re too tall to understand my feelings about people who are too tall. Your complete averageness in terms of height prevents you from understanding the full plight I speak of.”

“First off I’m the show producer not your boss. Second of all I’m only two inches taller than you, tops. I thought you had to be under 5’4” to complain about height. Third, how do you know his exact height?” 

Jonghyun ignores his comments in favor of finishing his drink. As silence falls between them, Jinki finds himself reminiscing of the now locally famous Choi-Kim radio rivalry. 

“Hello?”

“Hello, is this purple dusk radio?”

“Yes it is. I’m DJ Jonghyun and you’re lucky caller number 4!”

“Oh my goodness!”

“What’s your name?”

“Miyoung.”

“I’ve got the prize package right here for you, Miyoung, all ready to go, I just need you to do one thing for me alright? Just tell me one thing you enjoy about purple dusk radio.”

“Well, to be honest, normally I listen to silver screen on channel 99...but I just happened to tune in to this station for the first time tonight and it really fits in with my music taste.”

“So what I’m hearing is purple dusk has a better selection than silver screen does?”

“It fits better with my likes, yes.”

“Well congratulations, Miyoung, you won! Just promise me you’ll stay tuned in to the better midnight show, okay?”

Jinki listens as the girl on the phone starts squealing in excitement and Jonghyun signs off for the commercial break. Once the “ON AIR” sign is deluminated, Jinki laughs at Jonghyun’s little victory wiggle. 

“Did you hear that, Jinki? We saved another poor soul from having to listen to silver screen!”

Jinki jumps at the feeling of a hand on his shoulder. It’s Kim Kibum, producer for silver screen. The rivalry between DJs didn’t extend to them -- mostly due to graduating from the same college program. 

“Mind if I join you?”

“Not at all.”

“You looked pretty far away there for a second, I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”

“No, not at all. I was just remembering an old show.”

Kibum slides into the seat that previously held Jonghyun. 

“Any particular show? I mean you’ve only been on this show for six years now.” 

“A particular one but for no particular reason.”

The conversation is interrupted by the bartender appearing. Jinki waits for Kibum to order, turning around to glance around the restaurant for Jonghyun. He finds him at another table with a few other DJs from their station. 

“Minho’s got a significant other but he won’t tell me about them.” Kibum huffs once he gets his beer. 

“If he won’t tell you about them how do you know he has one?”

“I overheard him on the phone and ‘I love you, honeybun’ doesn’t seem like something you’d say to everyone, now does it? Also he has a new ring, one of those ones that leaves an impression of a heart when you take it off.”

“Kibum, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; you make a great producer but you would’ve been a great detective.”

Kibum laughs before sipping his beer. 

“So how are things at PYQK, besides the fact that Minho won’t share all the naughty details of his love life with you?”

“I never said I wanted the naughty details; even some sweet vagues would be nice. The station’s doing well. And at PYXQ?”

“Basically the same. Why doesn’t Minho ever come to these, besides the fact that Jonghyun’s here?”

Kibum scoffs as he puts down his beer. “He goes to work out after the show finishes like some kind of weirdo.”

“To each his own, I guess.” Jinki goes to take a sip of his drink, but pauses. “Weird question that I’ll explain the context of afterwards, but how tall is he?”

“Who? Minho? Bit over 6’ I’d say. Why?”

“Someone was asking Jonghyun why he doesn’t like Minho and one of the reasons was he’s too tall, but he said a very specific height, which I thought was a bit odd.”

“I think Jonghyun may be trying to get in on that sort of experience,” Kibum says with a giggle, pointing to where Jonghyun’s begun standing on a barstool and thanking people for coming to the party that he absolutely did not partake in planning. 

“Oh jeez...I’ll see you later, dude.”

Jinki makes his way over to Jonghyun quick as he can; persuading him to come down off the stool isn’t easy but eventually he manages. 

“I just wanted to make sure that everyone could see me!” Jonghyun explains with a hiccup as Jinki pulls him out towards the parking lot. 

“Where are we going?” Jonghyun slurs, clutching Jinki’s arm to help steady himself.

“I’m going to drop you off at your house since you’re in no condition to drive.”

“How do you know that?” 

Jinki gives him a stern look and continues guiding Jonghyun to his car. It takes Jonghyun a few minutes to remember his address to punch into the GPS but soon enough they’re on their way. 

It surprises Jinki to realize he’s never been to Jonghyun’s house. The latter had visited him many times for holiday parties and garden dinners but not once in the four years they’ve worked together on purple dusk had he ever gone to -- or been invited to -- Jonghyun’s place. The house isn’t that big, but it has a pretty little garden in front and there’s something charming about it that seems perfectly Jonghyun. As they walk up the driveway, Jonghyun seems to perk up and Jinki is somewhat relieved to see a light through the living room window. 

“My house!”

“Well I’m glad you recognize it.”

Just as quickly as it appeared, the perky feeling dissipates and Jonghyun stops in his tracks. 

“I don’t have people over at my house.”

“I just want to make sure you can get in, I’ll leave right after okay?”

“I...don’t want...can’t let people know about him.”

“About who?”

“Him.”

“Come on, I just want to make sure you can get in.”

Begrudgingly he starts walking again, searching his pockets for his keys. Eventually he finds them but after four attempts to unlock the door it's clear he’s too drunk for such a delicate operation. Just as Jinki goes to offer to try, the door opens. 

If Jonghyun revealed himself to be an alien at this very moment, it wouldn’t surprise him more than seeing Choi Minho standing in Jonghyun’s doorway. 

“Oh, hello, Jinki. I...wasn’t expecting anyone to be with him.”

“I wasn’t expecting anyone to be here either, least of all you.”

It takes Jonghyun a moment to process that the door is open but once he does he immediately wraps himself around Minho, seemingly forgetting about Jinki’s existence.

“Baby I had fun at the party and I missed you.”

Minho’s cheeks turn pink as Jinki’s jaw drops to the floor. 

“Do you...why don’t you come in for a bit so we can talk?”

“I...if that’s fine with Jjong I’d like that.”

It takes a few minutes of fussing and denied kisses for Minho to send Jonghyun off to shower. He joins Jinki in the living room after a moment, sitting opposite him. 

“Don’t the two of you hate each other?” Jinki asks before Minho has a chance to say anything. 

An odd smile crosses Minho’s face. “Only publicly. We’re very affectionate at home, as you can see.”

“How long have...”

“Have we been together?”

“I was going to say be friendly but yeah that’s also included in the question I guess.”

“We met in college, partnered for a project in a journalism elective.”

“Really. Did you get unpartnered for bad behavior or something?”

“No, actually-”

Minho’s interrupted by Jonghyun unceremoniously plopping on the couch with the highest amount of dramatic flair he can muster, still oblivious to Jinki’s continued presence. He’s snuggled up to Minho and asleep before he can even react. As confused as Jinki is, it’s a warming sight.

“As I was saying, we actually got along really well. Got bonus points on the project for being cooperative. We got into the habit of hanging out and things just...kinda went from there. We’ve been living here since I graduated. Sleepy here inherited it from his grandparents.”

“So wait...why the rivalry? Like we all legitimately thought that you two hate each other.”

Minho chuckles, but Jinki can’t tell if it's in amusement or in sadness. 

“It was his idea, oddly enough. I don’t know if you remember the predecessor to silver screen, but it was... to put it kinder than Kibum would, it was a mess. So when I got hired, it was made very clear that if I didn’t make it successful, I would get fired, Yunho -- the producer that pitched it -- would probably get fired, and the station would basically have to resort to playing ads and royalty free spa music during that slot. Jjong had already got purple dusk comfortable by that point so he was trying to give me pointers and things. It didn’t really help though; Kibum always said it wasn’t my hosting that was driving people away, it was the bad taste left from the old show. Obviously he couldn’t just give me a shoutout, being on different stations at the same time and all, so he came up with hyping the competition. I always thought that we should’ve included you guys on it, but he said it’d make it feel manufactured if you all knew and also tried to play it up.”

“Oh, so that’s why I’ve had to hear Kibum complain about not knowing about your love life for two years now.” Jinki teases. 

“Oh man, he’s got you hooked in on that too? I swear I can’t make a personal call at the station without at least 4 people scooting as close as they think they can get away with to eavesdrop.”

“If it makes you feel better, he was just as inquisitive about when I started dating my now-wife back in college.”

“I am not surprised in the least.”

An awkward silence falls between the two as Jonghyun starts to snore and Jinki struggles to process.

“It was hard to get used to the act, when we first started it. We’d both come home all apologetic -- ‘I know I said you sound grating but your tone was so nice today’ or ‘I’m sorry I was so mean today, but how can you not be mean when the theme of the show is noir films’, that kind of thing. Now it’s just a bit of a game. I always listen to the podcast recording when I go to the gym and come home telling him he’s recycled insults.”

Jinki chuckles and checks his phone. There’s a few messages from Kibum, asking him where he’s headed off to and if he took Jonghyun home. 

“I suppose you should probably be heading home now. I know we live the night life already but I’m sure your wife would appreciate you coming home before the sun.” Minho says as he tries to wiggle his way out of Jonghyun’s grasp. 

“You’re probably right. We don’t have the luxury of the same working hours like some people do.”

They walk to the door and Jinki half expects Jonghyun to wake up, but he doesn’t. 

“Thanks for bringing him home. While it is amusing that such a lightweight enjoys gatherings so much, I do worry about him getting home in one piece.”

“Oh it’s no trouble. Even if it was, this dramatic turn of events made it worth it. Good luck with your show tomorrow and surviving Sherlock Holmes- I mean Kibum’s investigations.”

Minho cracks a smile and nods a thank you, waiting til Jinki gets into his car to close the front door. Through the living room window he can see him carrying Jonghyun to bed. His phone pings again, Kibum continuing to be nosy. For a brief moment he thinks to share the news with Kibum but instead closes his phone and heads home. What Jonghyun and Minho do in their off-air time really isn’t any of his concern; plus, he’d grown fond of Kibum’s investigations being thwarted. 

#hello fellow youths its been a while #this is just...........a thing #my idea was a bit different but this is how it turned out and ive missed writing so here it is #jongho #1 shot 2 shot just for 1

[inspired-by-the-music]

Your Fool (Jonghyun)

requested by my shinee anon! requests are encouraged, please read my guidelines before submitting your request

Genre: fluff, kinda humorous

Word Count: 1406

Note: this is a part of my ongoing shinee drabbles storyline! to get the full impact of the story, I suggest that you read the other installments.

You knew Jonghyun was excited to talk to the other SHINee members on the radio; that was all he talked about for weeks. 

“Just promise you’ll listen, okay, Y/N?” Jonghyun begged, looking up at you from the foot of the bed. “Even if you’re busy, please listen.”

“Alright, Jjong.” You smiled as you rubbed his shoulders tenderly. “I promise— even if I’m really busy, I’ll listen to you and the guys.”

You were on the bus home after work when your phone alarmed you— with both a preset reminder and an enthusiastic text from Jonghyun— that the radio program was about to start. 

By the time you fished tangled headphones out of your purse and plugged them into your phone, you were instantly greeted by Jonghyun’s laughter. That sound alone convinced you to abandon your planned relaxing evening at home. You couldn’t stop imagining how Jonghyun would smile if you visited him at the radio station, so even though the trip would lengthen your bus ride, you decided to chase the daydream.

However, shortly into the broadcast, you noticed something was off about the guys. Jinki could barely finish a sentence before being interrupted harshly by Minho, and Taemin had talked three times at the most. And you could tell from how quickly and delicately Jonghyun frequently changed the topics, the conversation was much more tense in person. 

Despite Jonghyun’s attempts to keep the peace at least until the end of the program, Key finally demanded, “Yah! What’s the matter with you three?” after Minho’s most recent outburst. 

When granted the opportunity to openly air his grievances, Minho remained silent, and Jinki made no efforts to defend himself. Taemin, on the other hand, immediately answered, “Minho keeps kicking me under the table because, obviously, he wasn’t satisfied with kicking me in the face the other day.”

Ignoring Key’s stifled laughter, Minho retorted, “I told you that was an accident. I’m only kicking you now because I know who you’re texting, and you should be paying attention to our conversation!” “This isn’t the time for all this arguing,” Jonghyun spoke into his microphone over the chaos. You could imagine him running a frustrated hand through his hair. 

Key seconded, “I agree, you guys should cut it out, but I have two questions. First, why was Taemin kicked in the face? And second, how does that explain the tension between Minho and Onew?”

“Taemin was kicked in the face because he was being a sneak,” Minho explained shortly. 

Jonghyun reminded, “I thought you said it was an accident.” “It was.” And without further comment on the Taemin incident, Minho said, “Onew ruined my anniversary. Would you believe that he walked into a restaurant— for a date I arranged with my girlfriend’s friend— and gave my name to the hostess when he realized he needed a reservation?”

You couldn’t fathom the glare Key must have received for laughing. As if to apologize, Key said, “I mean— I can believe it, but I don’t think it was right or anything.”

“It gets worse,” Minho assured. “By now anyone who follows any kind of celebrity news knows hat Onew acted like— actually, I don’t even know the word to explain how clumsy he was. But he did all of that in my name, so I can never make a reservation at that five star restaurant again!”

“That’s not so bad.” Jonghyun spoke softly. “You don’t have to go to a nice restaurant to have a romantic date.”

“That’s not the point! What he did was selfish, and he hasn’t even apologized!”

Jinki finally spoke, “Hey! I did say I was sorry!”

“Yeah! And then you concluded with some bullshit about how you would do it all again to see that girl smile at you!”

You recognized Jonghyun’s furious breath. “Yah! Watch your language!” He scolded, and you wondered if he swatted at Minho. “And since this has turned into some weird conversation about this scandal— I don’t think what Onew did was that bad. Sometimes when you really like someone, your mind goes a little blank, and you do dumb things to make them happy.”

“Yeah!” Taemin agreed eagerly, as if speaking from experience. Then, like a child seeking guidance, he asked, “Jonghyun, have you done anything like that with Y/N?”

You blushed at the mention of your name.

“Of course,” Jonghyun answered immediately. Then, through laughter, he clarified, “I mean, I never stole anyone’s dinner reservations, and I’ve never wrecked a five star restaurant.”

Jinki interrupted with a sarcastic “Thanks Jonghyun, I’m grateful for your support,” which earned laughter from everyone, even Minho. 

“So what embarrassing thing did you do with Y/N” Key asked.

“Ah. . . Y/N, I know you’re listening, so promise you’ll still love me after this.” Following encouragement from his members, Jonghyun began, “So, you all know Y/N wrote a book—”

Minho jumped at the opportunity to tease, “How could we ever forget? You were obsessed with it.”

“Wasn’t that before you started dating?” Taemin questioned. 

Jinki corrected in a wise tone, “That was before they even met.”

“Right,” Jonghyun verified. “So I was recommending it to everyone. And I ended up going to one of her book signings. I was wearing a mask to avoid causing a scene. I had this whole little speech prepared about how much I loved her art and how it moved me. But when I finally got up there, she recognized me by my eyes.”

Key hummed, “That’s romantic,” and you smiled at Jonghyun’s retelling of the beginning of your love story. 

“She asked if I was Jonghyun, and I nodded, so she started gushing about how I’m her favorite artist. She was saying all these beautiful things about how sometimes I’m all she can stand to listen to when she’s lonely— and I was so close to crying, I completely forgot my speech. So I ended up reciting something Key said about the book-”

“Yah!” Key suddenly yelped, causing you to falter as you stepped off the bus. “So you mean Y/N is supposed to love me?”

“No!” Jonghyun disagreed instantly. “We were already in love! We were just soulmates who hadn’t met yet!”

Minho grumbled, “Well, that’s still not the same as Onew stealing my reservations.”

“My point is— wait, I just thought of a better example. For Y/N’s birthday, her mom sent these beautiful flowers to our apartment. And I woke up early to make breakfast and to check the mail and all that, so I was the one who brought the flowers in. Y/N walked into the room and assumed I bought the flowers. She looked so pretty, I couldn’t think clearly enough to explain that her Mom sent them.”

“You’re being too mushy,” Jinki groaned.

“Yah! This is what happens when you love someone!” Jonghyun defended himself but laughed nonetheless. “Anyway, then her mom called to ask if the flowers arrived safely, but Y/N was like—” Jonghyun cleared his throat and mimicked your voice, “‘I only got flowers from my sweet, precious Jonghyun.’” And once the other guys’ laughter died down, Jonghyun continued, “But her mom didn’t press it. But then later, she texted to ask if I’d taken credit for the beautiful birthday bouquet.”

Taemin squeaked, “Ah— just hearing this is embarrassing me.”

“Did you tell Y/N the truth? Or apologize to her mother?” Minho asked. 

“Of course I didn’t tell Y/N!” Jonghyun elaborated, “I was humiliated enough already! And I offered to pay her mom for the flowers, but she said I could repay her by loving Y/N. And, you know, that’s not really all that difficult.”

“So,” Minho hummed, trying to derive a moral from Jonghyun’s ramblings. “What you’re saying is, I should forgive Onew as long as he loves his girl?”

“That’s what I would do,” Jonghyun advised. Then, to Jinki, he said, “But you should probably apologize to the restaurant, Onew, and maybe not make a habit of stealing people’s reservations.”

“But Jonghyun—” Taemin interrupted softly. “This flower thing happened a long time ago, right? You don’t still do stuff like that with Y/N, right?”

“Taem, Y/N’s birthday was last month,”  Jonghyun admitted matter-of-factly. “I’m always a fool for her, that’s just a part of love.”

And that last sentence is why you smiled as you waited for your precious fool in the lobby of the radio station.

#shinee #shinee drabble #shinee drabbles #shinee fluff #shinee one shot #shinee fic #shinee fanfic #shinee fanfiction #shinee request #shinee requests #shinee reaction #shinee reactions #shinee scenario #shinee scenarios #shinee moodbaord #shinee moodboards #jonghyun #jonghyun drabble #jonghyun drabbles #jonghyun fluff #jonghyun one shot #jonghyun fic #jonghyun fanfic #jonghyun fanfiction #jonghyun scenario #jonghyun scenarios #jonghyun moodboard #jonghyun moodboards #jonghyun request #jonghyun requests

[lordsicheng]

Im currently in love with lee eunsang💖 i even looked up his chart😳 i didnt expect a gemini moon but hes so mercury and mars libra!

omg EUNSANG he’s very good looking??? and i’m surprised at the gemini moon tbh he seems... calm LOL but the libra placements a definite YES!!!

okay so my current top 10 broduce list goes like this atm?? (only the top 4 are sure idk about the others sldkflsd)

1. SONG HYEONGJUN/HYUNGJUN MY MOST PRECIOUS CHILD!!!!!! I LOVE HIM SM HE’S SO SHY AND TALENTED AND LOVELY WHEN HE CRIED THE MOMENT HE RANKED WITHIN THE TOP 10 BECAUSE HE COULDN’T SAVE THE OTHER X RANKED TRAINEES I FELT THAT TO THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART??? HE’S SO CONSIDERATE OF OTHER PEOPLE AND FUNNY ENOUGH HE’S A LIBRA MOON??? ALSO HOLY SHIT HE HAS SO MUCH FIRE IN HIS CHART SDLFKSLFKS

2. NAM DOHYUN!!! dude i’m not gonna lie at first i thought he was gonna be one of those hip-hop wannabe trainees (probably bc of the editing in the first ep) BUT BOY HE IS ACTUALLY A FLUFFBALL?? HE REMINDS ME OF A TIMID PARK WOOJIN.... he’s so young??? and awkward??? but so many talents in him I’M AMAZED i love him!!! (just not his management i’m so sorry)

3. Son Dongpyo!!! HE IS LITERALLY LIKE... THE DAEHWI OF THIS SEASON LMAO I LOVE HOW STRAIGHTFORWARD HE IS BUT DAMN HE’S LIKE A WILD CARD.... okay he may be the center of X1-MA but he?? deserves? it? i won’t lie he’s shortly becoming my #1 pick he’s just so talented and very headstrong!! he seems super childish but i believe he’s quite mature for his age!

4. JOO!! CHANG!!! WOOK!!! THIS ISNT EVEN BECAUSE HE DOES RESEMBLE AND SOUND LIKE ONEW (BECAUSE HE REALLY FREAKING DOES) BUT HE’S ACTUALLY LIKE... A HIDDEN CARD?? REMEMBER WHEN HE CHOSE THE MEMBERS FOR HIS TEAM FOR LULLABY I MEAN HE DOES HAVE A GOOD EYE FOR TALENT BECAUSE HE KNEW THE ONES HE CHOSE WERE VERY STRONG TRAINEES IN TERMS OF VOCAL... I’D SAY HE’D DO VERY WELL IN THE VOCAL ASPECT IF HE WAS IN THE FINAL LINEUP LIKE HE’D BE THE BAE JINYOUNG.... BECAUSE BEFORE BAEJIN’S VOCALS WEREN’T RECOGNIZED AT FIRST AND MANY FOCUSED ON HIS VISUALS BUT KNOWING HIS HUSKY AND VERY WELL DEVELOPED VOICE DURING MID-BRODUCE AND WANNA ONE AND NOW? HIS VOICE IS MY FAVE. ALSO ONEW IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE VOCALISTS EVER TOO (him and jjong have been the reason i got into shinee immediately aka my first ever kpop group). THEREFORE. CHANGWOOK IS IN MY TOP LIST OFC

5. Yohan.... yeah you may kick me if you’re very iffy about the final lineup being mostly about visuals but he’s? actually quite a talent? HE SAID HE’S A VOCAL BUT HE ACTUALLY GOT THE RAP PARTS FOR BOSS IN ONE GO... he’s improving a lot as the show progresses and it’s actually very refreshing to see this in a trainee (all of them are improving a ton, but Yohan’s one of those trainees that I notice a lot of progress from)

6. Ham Wonjin!! DUDE IF HE AIN’T ONE OF THE CUTEST AND MOST CONSIDERATE LEADERS.... He led the Starship trainees and even cried for those who got an X..... the fact that he focuses on others a lot in comparison to him, who is very up there in ranks, makes him very much a good leader. He’s softhearted!! I adore

7. MOON HYUNBIN!! HE REMINDS OF OF A LITTLE KIHYUN LIKE BOTH VISUALS AND THAT TONE OF VOICE??? STOP! SLEEPING!  ON! MY! BOY! Mnet y’all better give him some shots on the latter eps

8. Kim Shihoon!!! DUDE EVEN BEFORE BRODUCE I LIKED HIM A LOT ONCE I KNEW THE OTHER BNM TRAINEES I really hoped for him to get into AB6IX tbh but he’s def one of those trainees to keep an eye on!!

9. Choi Suhwan!!! VOCALS AND DANCE AND HE MAY BE GOOD AT RAPPING TOO? STOP SLEEPING ON HIM COME ON

10. this is so hard but I’m gonna cheat and put Lee Hangyul, Kim Wooseok and Song Yuvin together in this because they’re all VERY strong competitors. Yuvin has been my fave vocalist since Superstar K6 tbh my irl friend and i are huge fans!! and Myteen has good songs?? y’all slept on them :/ Hangyul is also very strong I forgot he was in The Unit, I would say... he could have one of those very good leadership skills! Kim Wooseok is also quite strong for me, he may look intimidating but honestly I think it’s because he’s a little bit more experienced than the majority of the trainees (also Jinhyuk!!! I’d add him here too).

So yeah that’s my top 10??? I HAVE LOTS OF FAVES I’M THAT BITCH WHO PUTS A NEW PERSON ON MY LIST EVERY SINGLE MINUTE WHILE WATCHING BRODUCE LOL

#broduce list #tagging that so i can keep an eye of my list lol #replies #ask

[noona-clock]

MADE 🖤 Loser

A BigBang songfic series by Admin B! 🌟Enjoy!

Genre: Mafia!AU/Angst

Pairing: Jiyong x You

By Admin B

Loser 🖤 Bae Bae 🖤 Bang Bang Bang 🖤 We Like 2 Party 🖤 If You 🖤 Sober 🖤 Zutter 🖤 Let’s Not Fall In Love 🖤 Fxxk It 🖤 Last Dance 🖤 Girlfriend 🖤 Flower Road

Loser, loner. A coward who pretends to be tough A mean delinquent. In the mirror, you’re Just a loser. A loner, a jackass covered in scars Dirty trash. In the mirror, I’m a...

“I don’t think I can do this anymore,” Jiyong muttered, holding his head in his hands as he sat glumly on your couch.

“...Do what?” you asked hesitantly. You were fairly certain you knew what he was talking about, but you wanted to make sure.

“Everything.” He moved to run a hand over his face, and you could tell his emotions were getting the better of him. “All of it. How did I even get here?”

You opened your mouth to answer but closed it again after only a few seconds because... what could you really say? So you simply reached out, placing a comforting hand on his back.

“I don’t want to be like this. I don’t want to live this life anymore. I don’t like who I’ve become, I just... I can’t even look at myself in the mirror. How are you even still friends with me?”

“Because you’re still you,” you assured him, scooting closer. “You haven’t changed. Your heart hasn’t changed, Jiyong. I’ve known you almost all your life, even before...” You couldn’t even bring yourself to say the word ‘Mafia,’ but you didn’t have to. He knew what you meant.

Sure, he looked different. He dressed differently. He had scars from knife and gunfights. But he was still the same kind, warm-hearted, loving ball of fluff you’d grown up with. Even if he couldn’t see that right now.

Honestly, I’ve never fit in with the world I was always alone It’s been a long time since I’ve forgotten about love I can’t listen to hopeful love songs anymore You and me both We’re just sad clowns, tamed and scripted I’ve come too far, I’m coming home. I wanna go back to when I was young

“I just wanted a place where I could fit in,” he explained, even though you already knew this. You knew everything about him. “I’d always been --”

“A misfit,” you murmured.

“And I never really had anyone I could call my own.”

You bit the inside of your cheek to keep from saying anything. Because his words stung. He’d always had you, just... not in the way he meant. He’d never seen you in that way.

“None of that even seems to matter anymore, though,” he chuckled, his tone devoid of emotion. He turned his head to look at you then, one corner of his lips lifted in a humorless smirk. “Look at us. We’re two sad sacks who can’t even find love.”

“Right,” you agreed. Little did he know you were single by choice. Because the man you loved was sitting right next to you, unaware of your feelings.

“I just wish I could go back to... before all this. Back to when we were kids and all we had to worry about was getting home in time for dinner.”

“I would love to go back to those times,” you said softly, rubbing his back reassuringly. “But we can’t.”

“Yeah... I know. If only.”

At some point, I started looking at the ground more than the sky It’s hard even to breathe I hold out my hand But no one holds it. I’m a...

“I mean, when I really think about it... what the fuck have I been doing?” Jiyong asked, shaking his head. “I went into this thinking I could just do it for a job, do it for the money, you know? I wouldn’t let it define me, I wouldn’t let that whole world get to me.”

“But it did,” you whispered.

“It did. And I can’t even pinpoint when it happened. I just... I feel so... helpless. Hopeless. Like I can’t do anything. Nobody can do anything.”

You swallowed back tears before moving to take his hands, squeezing them. “Jiyong, don’t talk like that. You can do something.”

“Do what, exactly?”

“You can leave the gang. You can start over.”

Jiyong looked at you like you were certifiably insane. “And how am I going to do that, huh? Who’s going to help me?”

“I will!”

He let out yet another emotionless chuckle. He didn’t say anything, but you knew he didn’t think you could actually do anything.

Like he said... he felt hopeless.

And it killed you.

I curse the blue skies Sometimes I wanna lay it all down I want to say goodbye When I stop wandering at the end of this road I hope I can close my eyes without regrets

“What if I just...” he whispered, his voice trailing off.

“What if you just... what?” you asked. Your heart was pounding at the possibilities.

“...Left?”

“If you just left? Like... left left? For real?”

“Yeah.”

“I mean... you don’t think they would look for you? And find you?”

“I don’t know,” he muttered. “If they catch me, they would kill me. And so what? At least I tried to get away.”

“Jiyong, don’t even talk like that.” You couldn’t keep the emotion out of your voice because just thinking about a world without Jiyong... You couldn’t comprehend it.

“I don’t see that I have any other options!” he cried. “Besides, no one would miss me.”

You stared at him, unable to speak for at least a whole minute. And then you managed to sputter out a “How dare you?” before swiftly rising from the couch and going to lock yourself in your bedroom.

How dare he say no one would miss him? When you were sitting right next to him! 

You! The person who had known him for so long! The person who had loved him for so long.

If only he knew.

And that’s when you realized... you had to tell him.

Loser, loner. A coward who pretends to be tough. A mean delinquent. In the mirror, you’re Just a loser. A loner, a jackass covered in scars Dirty trash. In the mirror, I’m a...

The next morning, you woke up more determined than ever to tell Jiyong how you felt about him. The way he’d spoken yesterday had scared you enough to make you understand you didn’t want to live with regrets.

And if you never told him you were in love with him, you would regret it.

You shuffled into the bathroom to splash some water on your face, letting out a huge yawn as you flipped the light switch.

When you approached the mirror, you jumped a little.

There was a note stuck to it. You recognized Jiyong’s slanted scrawl even through the sleep in your eyes, and your hand darted out to grab the piece of paper.

I can’t stay here anymore. I can’t tell you anything, for your own safety. Please don’t come looking for me.

Tears immediately filled your eyes, and you basically collapsed against your bathroom counter.

No.

No, this couldn’t be.

The only person in this godforsaken world you actually loved... and you’d just lost him?

I’m a loser.

Part 2

Tagging @jjong-dae77 , @sweg-imsorrywhatwasthat , @wildest-dre4m , @tabicsco , @cramelot , @into-the-kpop-void , @xiusmybeautifulnightmare , @tokyoseo , @lovebuginlove , @dongjunma , @haveanotherkpopblog to let them know this has been posted! Readers, let me know if you would like to be added to the list!

-Admin B

Master list // RULES // Submit a Request! // Read About the Admins

#bigbang #bigbang scenarios #bigbang imagines #bigbang au #bigbang angst #gd #gdragon #gdragon scenarios #gdragon imagines #gdragon au #gdragon angst #jiyong #kwon jiyong #jiyong scenarios #jiyong imagines #jiyong au #jiyong angst #kpop #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop au #kpop angst #admin b

[exid-though]

i think people just like to sleep on hyelin in general... like people would call her ugly and fat although her visuals are amazing, they’d call her a bad singer compared to solji and would completely disregard her talents, and would call her a bad dancer although she isn’t. i honestly don’t understand why people don’t like her compared to the others... as a hyelin stan i actually too contemplate this. i think it’s because, as far as looks, jeonghwa and heeyeon look very unique and

(2-4/4)not generically “korean.” like, yes they are koreans but their features are very western and different from the usual korean woman. although hyelin does have very big eyes and such, her features are very eastern and she obviously is a korean, so she doesn’t stand out as much. i’m not saying that she’s not a visual because she looks korean (because in most groups, heir visual fits the korean beauty standards to a t) it’s just that she stands out less than jeonghwa and heeyeon so people don’tnotice her immediately. solji and hyojin already have their names known to the korean public as the first king of masked singer and the girl from jiffy fellaz, so they had other ways of getting into the public eye. however for the other three, they needed to rely on their visuals to get initial attention, which worked for heeyeon and jeonghwa. you can see that it’s difficult for actual visuals that don’t have those unique western features to get attention in other groups, for example jisoofrom blackpink, jin from bts, etc. so when hyelin couldn’t get initial attention from the gp, people just started to focus less on her overall. not because of her lacking in any one talent, but she just didn’t stand out anymore to people. it sucks, but at the end of the day, the gp only really cares about visuals. honestly i think hyelin has the most best personality out of all of them and is very entertaining so her lack of stans is unfortunate to them. sorry for my long rant lmao

I think the main problem is something that people have actually said more about Jeonghwa lol? Solji is the vocalist, Heeyeon is the popular one, Elly is the rapper, so Jeonghwa and Hyelin seem less useful. When I saw someone saying this they were using it to call Jjong useless but it works thinking about Hyelin too cause like even if she isn’t as recognized as she should be, Jjong is the main dancer and Hyelin’s place seems to be unnecessary ig? She seems to just be a backup to everyone but not someone with her own part to the general public ig. The same/a similar thing happens with Jjong though with people thinking of Jeonghwa as “the boring one” because she seems so much chiller to people who have only really seen Heeyeon compilation v ideos like she seems like the less 4D member and more of the “lady like” “calm” “quiet” member to people that don’t know EXID well. Before EXID was super popular the members had a more like even? fanbase and I even remember being like “wtf this is weird” seeing a 2012 fancam where the fans were quieter for the unnies but screamed super loud for Hyelin and Jeonghwa. Back then I think the people that were fans of them were more often fans of the whole group/knew the whole group and once EXID got super popular they gained a bunch of fans a lot of which were really just bandwagon fans or were there for Hani only so idk. These days Hyelin is getting more popular and not just for her vocals but also for being the weirdest member in a weird ass group like EXID lmao she is popular in a way just not to the general public/kpop fans I think she’s more popular like “I’m a fan of x group and I’ve seen a video of her she’s pretty funny” like I don’t think most people actually get really into EXID or Hyelin when they see her they just kind of think she’s funny or a good singer but aren’t really fans you know? 

It just bothers me when people think/act like she isn’t talented or useful or skilled or anything because another member is more well known for it. Like how people called Lini fat and never really say her body is amazing but people continue to say Heeyeon’s body during like 2012 was great and she was “thick” and they wished she was like that again even though she literally said she only looked like that bc EXID had no career back then and she didn’t have anything else to do with herself so she ate ramen every day and didn’t work out of leave her house like yeah that sucks that’s unhealthy but guyssss she was thiiick or how people immediately jump on Hyelin for being slow or seeming lazy on stage like “she’s the worst dancer” but if someone dared point that out about Heeyeon not being where she’s supposed to or being behind or ahead of the other members it’s like “ummm it’s her dancing that saved the group sooo”, or if Lini lipsyncs or if someone compares her and Jeonghwa they could say “well at least jeonghwas pretty” (ofc they could also and do also do the opposite and say at least hyelin can sing like it really just depends on who they want to hate) or does anything like she isn’t popular enough to have a bunch of fans going against them all the time and because she was called the “visual hole” and she didn’t have this specific “necessary” place (to the netizens) she was just an easy target like it’s just easy for them to be on her about stupid stuff and only really get people agreeing with them or not caring in response you know? this is more in the past though (like when people got mad at her and called her dumb for misspelling smth on instagram or when people got mad at her and called her dumb for not bringing a lunch to school on testing days because “everyone knows that she’s so stupid”) these days she really is getting more love but like if Hyelin and Jeonghwa could both just be more appreciated for their very important roles in EXID that’d be fan freaking tastic