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avaritia-ffxiv · 6 days

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5 Songs I'm Into RN

1. Tuoni - Kuolonpyörä

I LOVE the lyrics in this. But it's Finnish. And if you look up a translation, the chorus is wrong. And the chorus is the best part. So I'm a lil salty about that and had to translate it MYSELF for captainqster when sending it to them like "OMG THIS IS SO GNB GIOVANNA"

But it is, it really is her.

(Also the correct chorus goes like this:)

Pyörä pyörii - läpi ihmiselämän (The wheel turns - through human life) Pyörä pyörii - aina nauttii vähemmän (The wheel turns - always enjoys less) Pyörä pyörii - ei hellitä ikinä (The wheel turns - never relents) Kuolonpyörä - liekki ja kipinä (Wheel of death - flame and spark)

2. Beyond Awareness - Crime

This is from Nazaire's playlist.

Will I ever be fine? Do I belong in another life? Oh please show me the place where I can leave this behind Can't replace what's inside I'm all out of will to carry on with this life But if I just closed my eyes for now It's a crime

Apparently this is a Finnish band too?? The more you know. Anyway yeah very Nazaire, makes me vibe in his name.

3. Bloodbound - The Warlock's Trail

Hey it's a Swedish band this time. That's so far off.

Either way, this is from D&D Gia's playlist

In the mist of the morning a winter's day Came a man in robe from far away Out of ashes and clay of the magic vale 'Cause sorrow sail on the warlock's trail

Idk if I've ever talked about him? He's a ruthless little thing, and a warlock, so the song suits him p nicely.

4. Hozier & Bear McCreary - Blood Upon the Snow

It's not from some version of Gia's playlist!!! It's from Damonient's. I fucking love this song and it really... Gets his mood across, I feel? The melancholy, it's so good.

To all things housed in her silence Nature offers a violence The bear that keeps to his own line The wolf that seeks always his own kind The world that hardens as the harsher winter holds The parent forced to eat its young before it grows It's not my arms that will fail me But this world takes more strength than it gave me The trees deny themselves nothing that makes them grow No rain fall, no sunshine No blood upon the snow

I still haven't gotten around to doing a lil gpose to it with him.

5. Project Vela - War on Falling Stars

Embracing the darkness Telling you that it'll be okay But it's more than harmless This disease will rip your soul away I don't want to live my life by your beliefs I don't want to be caught up in vanity I don't want to swallow pills you offer me I just need to suppress these memories

This is from Saga's v2 playlist, soooooo himst after his corruption arc 'cause we can't have good sweet pure characters in this house, must ruin their whole outlook.

Tagged by @captainqster

Tagging idk who hasn't gotten tagged yet so if you've already gotten tagged or don't feel like it just ignore this but @soulshards-ooc @shadesofblades @vmbral (YES I KNOW YOU ALREADY GOT TAGGED BUT I WILL TAG YOU AGAIN) @cosmicharm (same at you) @midnightmagicks

@abalathia @shieke @briar-ffxiv @allyennah

Honorary mentions and a whole bunch of spotify links under the cut:

Bad Omens - Kingdom of Cards (from Amthan's playlist)

I made my way through hell again, I paid for my mistakes Next time, I think I'll stay awhile and pour myself a drink When I return, I'll look for you, so listen for your name If you can make it out above the roaring of the flames If it's the mask you want, then it's the mask that you will get But when I take it off, remember that you asked for this I tore myself apart to give you all that I could give Don't think that I will let it go, don't think that I'll forget I thought I wanted legacy, I thought I wanted fame I didn't know I'd lose all my loved ones in exchange Left 'em all behind and yeah, for that, I am ashamed But that's the price I'm paying 'til I'm buried in my grave

Blacklite District - Goodbye (rock mix) (from Gia and Saga v2's playlists)

Goodbye Say goodbye to the knife That you sharpen with your life Say goodbye To the dark side Goodbye Say goodbye to the lies And the pain You hold inside Say goodbye to that old life Goodbye

Hollywood Undead ft. Hyro the Hero - Comin' Through the Stereo (from Narin's playlist)

I'm going to the top and nobody's gonna stop me now Another nightmare and it's coming through the stеreo Keep going 'til I drop, 'til the hands on the clock run out Anothеr nightmare and it's coming through the stereo Straight out the gate, got them bodies dropping Ain't no grave that can hold my coffin I'm going to the top and nobody's gonna stop me now Another nightmare and it's coming through the stereo

Battle Beast - Where Angels Fear to Fly (from Nazaire's playlist)

I spread my wings and like the midnight sun I will be rising Into the frozen heights, where stars are born And where they die I'm lighting up horizons With thunder and lightning Through the darkest skies Whеre even angеls fear to fly

I COULD GO ON FOR SO MUCH LONGER, DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH MUSIC I LISTEN TO. But also yeah if I can't make it related to one character or other, it can't keep my interest.

Good thing I have a gazillion characters!

#memes #i'll refrain from going on a rant about how european music is superior to american music #but often gets less exposure #not to say i don't also listen to american music 'cause clearly i do #and enjoy some songs #but comparing my favorite american songs #to my favorite songs by european bands? bruh #not even close #Spotify

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magnetocerebro · 1 year

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15 questions, however many people

Tagged by @constantvigilante, and since my son is awake at four this morning, I’ve got time ;)

1. are you named after anyone? Yes! My first name is actually my great-uncle’s, but my mom saw a movie where it was used as a girl’s name, and she fell in love. My middle name is my grandmother’s first name.

2. when was the last time you cried? I literally just finished watching EXU: Calamity on Monday, and that was a solid, solid cry.

3. do you have kids? Yes! I have a little girl and a little boy.

4. do you use sarcasm? I used it way too much when I was a teenager, but I barely use it now that I’m a mom. Being a mom changed a lot of the way I communicate.

5. what’s the first thing you notice about people? I am always very aware of whether people are smiling. Living in the South, I’m used to people being friendly, but sometimes overly so, and eye contact with a big smile means they want to talk to me when I’m busy 🤣

6. what’s your eye color? Green

7. scary movies or happy endings? Listen, I get nightmares just from having accidentally seen a TRAILER from a horror movie.

8. any special talents? Shameless plug time! I write books for a living, and I am super proud of my Scaleshifter series.

9. where were you born? Utah, but we moved before I was old enough to remember living there, so I call Georgia home.

10. what are your hobbies? I love gaming in all its forms: board games, video games… I got to DM a DND game over Christmas and it was so fun!

11. do you have any pets? I’m horrifically afraid of dogs, and my sisters are allergic to cats, so I don’t have pets and probably never will.

12. what sports do you play/have played? I used to be really good at soccer but dropped out once I got to high school and it stopped being fun and started being only about winning.

13. how tall are you? 5′3

14. favorite subject in school? I liked my English classes when they were focused on language and writing (literature was meh… there were some genuinely disturbing assigned readings that made me dread class sometimes), but my real jam was history and government classes. I ended up majoring in political science because I love it so much!

15. dream job? I’m living it! I finally make enough from book royalties that I don’t need to freelance to cover bills (though I do work as a fact checker for the news on an extremely part-time basis). So I get to be in politics, write books, and be a stay-at-home mom. I love it!

Not tagging anyone specifically, but if you see this and wanna do it, go forth!

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torahtantra · 1 year

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A New Chazakah on Independence and its implications to Judaism, the Nation of Israel, and all Nations and Faiths.

אפוד וענם

Eph’od and Anam, “Faith Binds.”

Rubric:

Independence for Israel was supposed to create a safe place for Jews and their neighbors to reside and prosper. The place and the dream were called Israel. Neither is complete yet due to obvious competing ideals and factors. The word Israel “He Who Confronts” is the most contentious and aggravating in all human languages, invoking anxiety, anger fear, and suspicion.

It has no honor, no standard, provides no holiness or happiness to the world, as God Decreed.

The Temple has not rebuilt, there are no musical instruments permitted in Synagogues, so worship is technically invalid, the People are aghast. The People of Israel, we, are all operating independently of God’s Authority and because of this, the world is dwindling in possibilities.

All the world turns to Israel all the time, but to confront, not to Confront. This Presumption searches Torah, Talmud and Tanakh etc. for ways to engage life with Dependence on God and change our ways.

Hypothesis:

Only through Dependence can we ever hope to separate ourselves from the vile, rotten, bitter fruits of our past actions, blight their seeds and become an Independent People of God.

1. Cleave to God and He will Cleave to you; Cleave not to Cursed Things:

Deut 4:4:

But ye that did cleave unto the LORD your God [are] alive every one of you this day.

and 13:4:

And there shall cleave nought of the cursed thing to thine hand: that the LORD may turn from the fierceness of his anger, and show thee mercy, and have compassion upon thee, and multiply thee, as he hath sworn unto thy fathers;

There is not one hint of “Independence” in the Torah.

2. Dependence Through Halakah.

“Halakah is a way, a discipline …. Halakah requires a careful observance of food, a devotion to family and the community, a life of prayer, and the keeping of ritual… flexible and always aware of life’s needs, of the living imperative implementing the experience of God.” Walking with God integrates the inner encounter with God and the outer expression of faith.

3. The Gathering.

Torah speaks of a Gathering when people and God and will come to Depend on each other for establishment of Nation and Religion, see Deut. 30:

1And it will be, when all these things come upon you the blessing and the curse which I have set before you that you will consider in your heart, among all the nations where the Lord your God has banished you,

2 and you will return to the Lord, your God, with all your heart and with all your soul, and you will listen to His voice according to all that I am commanding you this day you and your children,

3 then, the Lord, your God, will bring back your exiles, and He will have mercy upon you. He will once again gather you from all the nations, where the Lord, your God, had dispersed you.

4 Even if your exiles are at the end of the heavens, the Lord, your God, will gather you from there, and He will take you from there.

God says through reliance on Him, by binding our hearts, to Him through a return to Worship we can become Sons of the Sun, God will remove us from all the cursed places we wandered off to in search of Independence and once again take us in and bring us to life.

4. Conclusions and Call to Action:

Stories about meandering persons and their return abound in Torah and all the faiths. We have a tendency for it, this need to test limits, we always have.

Only through sincere and steadfast obedience to the Law can we ever hope to walk and talk and behave like civilized adults around each other. As the Rabbi said, this means, “Ritual and also flexibility in order to meet life’s needs.”

Once these needs are met, then and only then are the elective permitted. Temple is a need; Synagogue, Mosque, Sunday Morning, these are all needs. They underwrite Civil Society by telling us how important it is to listen for God’s Voice, always.

His name is Israel, and He has already Confronted all that causes us to falter and fail, and is eager for us to trust and rely on Him, and give up all notions of independence and come to a state of legislated interdependence that is easily observed with our ordinary humanity.

When we decide at last to try, one precept at a time, the world will at last gain independence from all the diseases, despots, and desperations that are bringing it near to one very final surrender to the consequences of its flawed judgements.

To find these very precepts, and how they logically and legally enforce all notions of Interdependence, the final fulfillment of God’s Will, see:

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the-hem · 1 year

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From The Perfect Series. 6.7 Independence.

A New Chazakah on Independence and its implications to Judaism, the Nation of Israel, and all Nations and Faiths.

אפוד וענם

Eph’od and Anam, “Faith Binds.”

Rubric:

It has no honor, no standard, provides no holiness or happiness to the world, as God Decreed.

Hypothesis:

Only through Dependence can we ever hope to separate ourselves from the vile, rotten, bitter fruits of our past actions, blight their seeds and become an Independent People of God.

1. Cleave to God and He will Cleave to you; Cleave not to Cursed Things:

Deut 4:4:

But ye that did cleave unto the LORD your God [are] alive every one of you this day.

and 13:4:

There is not one hint of “Independence” in the Torah.

2. Dependence Through Halakah.

3. The Gathering.

Torah speaks of a Gathering when people and God and will come to Depend on each other for establishment of Nation and Religion, see Deut. 30:

2 and you will return to the Lord, your God, with all your heart and with all your soul, and you will listen to His voice according to all that I am commanding you this day you and your children,

3 then, the Lord, your God, will bring back your exiles, and He will have mercy upon you. He will once again gather you from all the nations, where the Lord, your God, had dispersed you.

4 Even if your exiles are at the end of the heavens, the Lord, your God, will gather you from there, and He will take you from there.

4. Conclusions and Call to Action:

Stories about meandering persons and their return abound in Torah and all the faiths. We have a tendency for it, this need to test limits, we always have.

To find these very precepts, and how they logically and legally enforce all notions of Interdependence, the final fulfillment of God’s Will, see:

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incorrectskyrimquotes · 3 years

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a friend of mine asked if i had seen that skyrim is considered problematic now and

1) no

2) how.

#i mean yeah that racism stuff but thats presented as? bad?? the game is p fucking clear that racism is BAD????#you get to punch SEVERAL racists in the mouth #my biggest problem with skyrim is its use of cults bc im a cult survivor but i can overlook that in a game this fucking big #and yes i am aware its 2 in the morning where i live but listen i felt #i felt actual confusion and a bit of anger that skyrim is being cancelled i guess??????#i mean we're coming up on a decade of skyrim so we've had plenty of time but NOW? now its bad #i guess.#(its not)#(also im a person of color do not come at me about the racism thing)

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boldlyvoid · 3 years

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can u do a blurb about reader wanting a baby and asking her co-worker Spencer to be the donor because he's smart and nice and she wants a cute baby?

you said blurb and i read 2K word fic apparently lmao

Late nights behind a desk were the worst. Y/N hated reading over case file, after case file, of horrific things as she tried to choose where they went next.

The only plus side was that she wasn’t alone, Spencer was at his desk just beside her. Like he always was. They had an interesting friendship, to say the least.

Ever since Y/N joined the BAU, Spencer and her were glued at the hip. They had all the same interests, liked the same music and movies, and they spat out information the same way, they were like each other’s dorky other half— but it was just a friendship.

They had a tradition to watch at least one movie together after a case, to just chill for a bit together. Always randomly picking one of their apartments to go to, spending the night together until one of them eventually wandered off to bed. Leaving the other on the couch.

They weren’t aware of their feelings for each other for a while. Both of them being so used to being alone, and never having anyone be interested in them before. It was hard to understand if the feelings they had were pure friendship, or if it could ever be more. If the sex would fuck everything up and take away that perfect happy place they found in each other, or would it make the bond stronger?

She noticed the crush before Spencer showed any signs of liking her back. She woke up every morning thinking of him, that's when she came to the conclusion that it was more than just a friendship. She wanted him in her life forever, she wanted to kiss his perfect lips and hug his soft body, wake up beside his messy hair and just love him for the rest of eternity.

She sighed as she picked up another file, not excited to learn about the horrible acts taking place in what people called, “the best country in the world.” She’d disagree any day of the week.

This one was a file about some missing kids apparently being spotted in a van altogether in Georgia, it looked interesting enough to be the next case. She hated reading all the info, seeing every kid's happy face in the file knowing that’s not how they looked now.

“Good god,” she groaned as she flipped through the case.

“What’s wrong?” Spencer asked over the divider.

“Nothing,” she shrugged, “just a bad case.”

She handed it to him over the desk, hearing him flip through all the sheets as he read a million words a minute. “We should show this to Emily first thing,” Spencer agreed, pushing himself over to her desk in his wheely chair.

“I will,” she smiled softly, taking the file back from him and placing it on her desk.

Spencer stood then, making his way into her space and rubbing his hand over her back slightly. “Are you okay?”

She sighed, “actually. no, I was telling Garcia I want to have a baby soon, and then I see things like this and I’m scared to do it alone but I don’t have any other option?” Ranting to him like he was her therapist.

“What do you mean?”

She turned in her chair to look up at him, his soft brown eyes really caring to hear the answer. “Sit,” she insisted.

He pulled the chair over more, sitting close enough that their knees touched. “I’m 36, I’m not having any luck finding a husband or a wife, I want a baby and if I have to do it myself I will, but what if I’m not enough? What if I have a boy and he grows up to be a killer cause he never had a dad?”

“Y/N,” Spencer’s voice was soft as he looked at her with a confused scrunch on his face. “That couldn’t happen, you’re a wonderful person, I love having you on the team and in my life, I know you’d raise good kids, you should do it.”

“Really?” She beamed at him, the words touching her heart and making her swoon a bit.

“I mean, it would be hard,” he added reason to the conversation. “You’d have to take time off, which would be good for bonding. My mother raised me alone and I turned out semi-fine, I don't hold any resentment for her not finding someone for me to call dad or even step-mom for that matter. I think if you give them all the love in the world like I know you’re capable of, your child will love you like you’re their whole world.”

She laughed as she noticed the tears welling in her eyes, waving her hand's in front of her face so she wouldn’t fully sob. “Do you want to be the donor?” She made a joke to change the topic.

Spencer laughed then too, “sure!”

Everything got serious again then, she looked at him a little differently. “Really? Cause honestly, you’re like a Grade A donor profile in the most expensive clinic!” She couldn’t help herself from laughing again at the absurdity.

“I’ve always wanted to be a dad, 40 isn’t too old to have a child, is it?” He seemed to have decided that rather fast.

“Okay,” she nodded with a smile, “okay. That’s cool, sick,” she felt the words get smaller as she thought it over.

“I get it if you were kidding,” Spencer spat out. “I realize now that you might have been making a joke, I hope it’s not weird that I agreed so fast, it’s just that I think you’re a very beautiful and smart woman and the idea of helping you make a child makes me really excited. I think it would be a very good idea if you were being serious, but I get it if you’re not.”

She let him get it all out, always loving when he got like this on a case or in person, nervous or just because he wanted to talk, she loved to listen. And no one ever let him finish his thoughts, always wanting to beat him to the punch.

“Spence, I think you’re really handsome and smart too,” she smiled. “If you’re also serious, I am too.”

“How would we?” He asked as he pulled at the top button of his dress shirt, swallowing like he couldn't breathe all of a sudden.

“If you’re not opposed, I’m sure the good old-fashioned way would work?” She laughed, laying her hand on his knee softly.

It was like sparks flew at that moment as if all the fluorescent lights in the bullpen could have exploded and she wouldn’t have even noticed. Captivated by Spencer's eyes as he gasped at her touch.

“Not opposed in the slightest,” he said softly as he held his own hand over hers.

She couldn’t help herself from smiling. “Well, I think I’m all done here if you want to come to my place for a movie?”

“Sure,” he replied, offering her a hand as they stood up together.

He returned his chair to his desk, both of them grabbing their coats and bags and rejoining at the door.

“I should go say goodnight to Penny,” Y/N said softly. “Wanna come?”

“Yeah,” he followed her through the door and down the hall to the tech room.

“Knock knock,” Y/N said as she walked through the open door. “Oh great and knowledgeable one, I’ve come with my nightly farewell.”

“Oh my knight, I shall miss you,” Penelope played along, sauntering over to her and wrapping her up in a hug. “I leave you with this until your return.”

“Through scorching deserts, and blistering winds, I will make it back to you, always,” she tried not to laugh as she hugged her back. “I also brought forth the jester.”

Spencer was laughing in the doorway as the two of them looked at him, “hi?”

“The pretty boy, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Um,” Y/N smiled, “Spencer and I are just going back for our nightly movie.”

Penelope looked at both of them, jaw slightly gaped, “nightly? I thought it was a case by case thing?”

“It’s a good excuse for us to talk,” Spencer smiled at her.

“Mhmm,” she smirked, “well have fun.”

She pulled Y/N back into another hug, hiding her face from Spencer, “I need all the dirty deets in the morning.”

Y/N smacked her arm softly as she pulled back, “goodnight pretty penny.”

“Farewell brave knight, handle with care, Jester,” Penelope pointed her finger at him, giving him a knowing glance.

“Yes, oh Knowledgeable one, always,” he blushed.

He reached out his hand for Y/N, interlocking their fingers as they left her office and headed towards the elevator. A rare moment of bravery on his part, holding hands like this didn’t spread a lot of germs.

“We’re going to have to discuss a lot of logistics like realistically this isn’t going to be just a fuck and oh look its a baby. This is a real live baby that we need to raise and care for,” she reminded him as the elevator doors shut.

“I’d like to be as involved as you’d let me be,” Spencer replied. “I don’t have to be 'dad' to them, I could be uncle Spence that’s fine too.”

“Oh no, you’d be Dad for sure,” she nudged him slightly. “I mean like, weekends and holidays and birthdays, your mom will want to see them surely, my parents will want to see them. Housing,” she looked at him horrified. “I have an apartment with 2 bedrooms, I don’t think I could let them sleep somewhere without me.”

“I have been looking at houses,” Spencer added before the doors opened to the garage, “you’re driving right?”

“Yeah, you were saying?” She replied, digging her keys out of her purse and leading him towards the car.

“Derek Morgan, I’m not sure if you’ve met him yet, he fixes up old homes in DC and Virginia now. He just finished one and I helped him with it. I think I’m going to buy it from him. It has 4 bedrooms, we could all live under the same roof? It would be easier to co-parent.”

She was amazed at how fast he adapted to this as if he’d been having the same thoughts she was having. At a certain point wanting kids becomes a pipe dream filled with desperation and emptiness, he looks like he’s experienced it too.

She opened her door and sat down before replying to him again. Thinking about how wonderful he was going to be during this process, “thank you, Spencer.”

“For what?” He asked as they both closed their doors.

She sighed, relaxing into her seat as she started the car. She turned to him softly, not wanting to cry as she spoke softly. “Being a mom is more of a dream to me than joining the BAU was, this is the best gift you could give me.”

He reached his hand out again, holding it softly. Running his thumb over her knuckles. “Can I tell you a secret?”

“Yeah,” she nodded softly.

He couldn’t make eye contact with her, staring at their hands as he rubbed her skin.

“Um, I’ve been pretty infatuated with you since you joined,” he let it out finally. Like a ton of bricks off his back he relaxed a bit, “after everything with Maeve, Cat and Max… oh god, and JJ... I was so worried that if I got too close to you I’d lose you. I tried to keep the feelings in, that's why I said what I did to Penelope. She knows how I feel about you.”

It was like fireworks were going off in her chest as the butterflies erupted inside of her. She sat up, turning to him more and ripping her hand from his grasp.

It startled him, he looked at her anxiously as if she was going to yell at him. But she placed both hands on his cheeks and pulled him into a kiss.

His arms snaked around her waist, wishing they could get closer if it wasn’t for the damn centre console of her car. Pressing their lips together, hard, as they breathed each other in. Desperation taking control, she wasn’t able to let go of him.

When she finally did pull away, however, the look on his face was priceless. Like expensive art, every line and freckle had a meaning. He was surprised, enamoured, grateful, desperate for more.

She smiled softly, rubbing her thumbs over his cheek. “Good, cause it would be awkward having your baby and not getting to love you every day too.”

taglist: @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria @spookyspence @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @samuel-de-champagne-problems @jswessie187 @k-k0129 @calm-and-doctor

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid request #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine

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dreampathic · 3 years

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┇haikyuu boys on facetime w/ you┇

❥characters: hanamaki, bokuto, tsukishima, suna, and kenma

❥warnings: foul language, suggestive??

❥genre: crack, fluff

❥a/n: this is unedited bc i wrote this at 12am with my head filled with facetiming thoughts

part 2

HANAMAKI

he was so nervous to call you, he had to text mattsun if it was the right time to. mattsun called him a pussy and that’s what gave makki the confidence to call you

but now he calls you for everything just to get a reason to see your face and talk to you

it’s also canon that he has a younger sister and an older one and most sisters are nosey as fuck

like me

so I 100% see that one day, when makki was taking a nap, his younger sister stole his phone and called you

ya know it freaked you out because you didn’t expect a pre-teen’s face on the phone but then you didn’t really care because you thought it was funny as fuck

what ends up happening is this girl deadass starts asking you questions like it’s a whole ass interview and she’s writing them down in her sparkly justice notebook to tell her older sister later because they wanted to know as much shit about the person on the phone with their dumbass brother 24/7

you two ended up having a great conversation and exchanging phone numbers and she texts you almost everyday about anything

makki isn’t aware of this.

BOKUTO

mans would not hesitate to facetime you the first time

if he wants to see your face and actually talk to you instead of text, he will

besides, he’s the type of person that prefers facetiming over text messaging anyway

like @katiea03

not me being on the phone with her right now

he would call you bright early in the morning, waking you up

he would feel bad for like a second but then not care because now see your pretty face <3

even though its the morning and you look crusty as fuck

he legit stays on the phone 24/7 with you it’s fucking insane

he eats on the phone with you

does homework on the phone with you

you have to force him

works out on the phone with you (smirk face goes here to indicate that yes i’m imagining bokuto shirtless and working out in front of me with his rock hard abs and juicy thighs and bootylicious ass)

showers on the phone with you..(eyeballs indicating that yes if i were to be on the phone with him when he takes a shower, you best believe i’m imagining how big his shlong is)

sleeps on the phone with you (cute eyes indicating that the other two things i just said weren’t vulgar at all and I’m not a horny fuck when i am)

you get the gist

also, since his older sisters don’t live in the house anymore he could be as loud as he want when his parents aren’t home

you don’t mind him being loud as long as you get to see him shirtless

i mean talk to him.

you don’t mind him being loud as long as you get to talk to him.

TSUKISHIMA

honestly this man would be a dry ass texter so he prefers facetiming like bokuto

he is kind of hesitant to call you the first time but then he’s like, “fuck it”

and when he does you guys don’t really talk that much

it’s a comfortable silence whenever you guys call

he does his thing, whether it’s homework or scrolling through social media while you do yours

he always asks, “which playlist do you want to listen to?”

obviously every now and then you guys would have a full ass conversation but most of the times you guys are just chilling, listening to music and enjoying each other’s company

there was this one time though where his brother came home from college unannounced and you two were chilling as usual, his laptop was sitting in his lap as he leant his chair back a little, propping his legs on top of his desk, typing away on an essay while his phone was leaning against the wall while you were focusing on your own homework when his brother bursts through his door saying, “I’m home!!” which scared the fuck out of tsuki, making his chair lean ALLLL the way back, causing him to fall to the floor lol

you and akiteru laughed your fucking asses off and he was so embarrassed, he hung up on you which made you lowkey sad but he ended up calling you back later that day and falling asleep on the phone with you<3

SUNA

mans is on his phone 24/7...

so he prefers texting over facetiming 100%

he expresses his emotions with memes

so he was kind of nervous facetiming you for the first time because what if he isn’t as entertaining?

but turns out he is

he loves talking to you

but so does his little sister

while he’s in his room and his sister hears that you’re on the phone??

she literally swings his door open and jumps on his bed and is like, “I KNEW IT WAS Y/N!”

it annoys the fuck out of him omg

he just wants to talk to his s/o without her interrupting every time

another thing she does is whenever he has his phone propped in the kitchen or where ever, she goes over, grabs his phone and starts fucking bolting LMFAO

my sister does this shit omg

he has to fucking CHASE her

he obviously catches up because it’s a 4′3 little girl vs. a 6′3 teenage male

you get a kick out of it either way

KENMA

you actually call him first

and his heart dropped when he saw your name popped up asking to call

honestly kenma doesn’t have much social interaction with anybody other than his volleyball team and the only person he really talks to is kuroo so he just doesn’t want to be awkward on the phone with you

he’s like tsukishima where you guys don’t really talk

he just plays his video games while you do your own thing

sometimes you just talk to him, or rant and he just listens to while also focusing on his game, replying every once in a while

he loves hearing you speak and he’s glad you don’t mind that he doesn’t talk that much

when he isnt playing video games or doing homework, he’s usually laying in his bed watching gameplays as he shares his screen with you

i know this isn’t a facetime feature but let’s pretend it is

you guys usually fall asleep watching youtube together

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ayamturd · 3 years

Text

bisexual│mcyt hc

warnings: small mentions of hate, fluff

prompt: (requested 1 & 2) “Hello uh I saw one of your posts about the dream smp reacting to you coming out so I was wondering if you haven't already done it can you do dream smp reacting to you coming out as bisexual?”

“Hello yamturd so I was wondering if maybe you could do tubbo, Tommy and Ranboo reacting to reader coming out as bisexual or lesbian if you haven't already done it :)”

pairings: irl platonic! dream, ranboo, tommy and tubbo ; c!technoblade

a/n: if i offend or misinterpret anything in this hc, please feel free to message and correct me otherwise. i will always try to correct or delete this post if asked so <33

sending my love to all those who identify as bisexual <33

wc: (1.5k) - m.list

dream -

considering his prideful personality sometimes, you probably wanted to play with his ego and drop subtle hints

not anything too obvious, but enough to make him kick himself when he realizes

though it was admittedly difficult since he plays into the dnf ship so much that he thinks you’re also joking more than half the time

imagine you two were in a voice call one evening and randomly discussing the recent fanon and what would be funny to turn into canon (to mess with the fandom)

you’ve been recently shipped with two other content creators, both of opposing female and male gender, separately and together

“Honestly, I wouldn’t mind hitting that.” “Which one?” “Both.”

He’d laugh, but you didn’t.

“Wait, you’re serious? You actually identify as…?” “Bisexual. Yeah, I’m pretty sure anyway.” “Y/n, that’s amazing.”

takes pride in the fact that you trust him, but would feign being upset that you messed with him for as long as you did

be jokingly offended if he found out someone knew before him

“Wait…” “Yes?” “You told Bad??” “Yeah, he was one of the first.” “W— Why??”

It was your turn to laugh while he gawked in disbelief.

“It’s Bad! Of course I told him.” “… Fair enough.”

hate is a given, and he’ll always be there to support and defend you

he’ll always ask your permission before taking any action, however, because he respects you too much and knows you can fight your own battles

dream is someone will show relentless support, whether that be through words or moral support, he’ll always be there for you

c!technoblade -

i honestly feel like you never officially came out to techno

as you began to recognize yourself as bisexual, you slowly expressed yourself around him more openly to the point where he unconsciously knew

it’d probably would have hit him in the most random moment after months of assuming he knew

imagine you’re in the midst of battle when techno paused entirely with wide eyes

“Y/n!” “What!?” “Are you gay??”

you would tease him when discussing your love life in one-sided conversations with him; him basically choosing to ignore you when you talk to him

“Honestly, Techno, how could you not want to hit that?” “Please, just stop.”

(i’ve written this before but will stand by this that) he truly doesn’t care for your sexuality

you’re a friend, someone he trusts and relies on, he doesn’t need to consider who you’re attracted to since he sees you for your skills and friendship

the only, and only time he is mindful of your sexuality depends on others unnecessary comments about it

the smp is a known judgement free land, but there will always be someone with ignorant opinions that he is always quick to shut down (or kill)

nothing much can be said besides the fact that you’ll always be y/n to him: a loyal friend and someone he would fight the world for

ranboo -

oh sweet ranboo, dear ranboo

considering how openly supportive and kind he naturally is, you didn’t question the idea of telling him

i’d like to imagine that unlike most where you planned or waited to tell, the moment you knew, he would know soon after

imagine you called him before he began his lore stream to hype him up

you both were talking about more mundane things to calm his nerves as people joined when you brought it up

“Oh actually, before you start, I wanted to tell you something.” “Sure, what is it?” “Well, I— I’m Bisexual.” “…You’re tELLING ME THIS WHEN I’M ABOUT TO START MY STREAM??” “Y/n! I’m so happy for you, that’s amazing!”

he’s incredibly patient concerning how you wanted others to know or when you were ready to be completely out

similar to c!techno with the same beliefs you’re still y/n, and nothing has changed besides you coming out as yourself

he’s your go to when days are rough, because he knows how to help you understand you’re still loved as the same y/n and nothing less

“Hey, hey, listen to me. I love you, y/n. We all do, and you’ll never be alone when things get rough, alright?” (love /p)

knows how to silently deal with hate in his chat unless it becomes evident enough to address it (doesn’t want to bring attention to meaningless words until it becomes serious)

ranboo’s your rock and makes show that he’ll never believe anything other than that you deserve love

tommyinnit -

as someone who took pride in defending the LGBTQ+ community, you had no hesitation when coming out to tommy

if any, your reluctance would come from accepting yourself to the point to be open with other people

it’s not as if he didn’t accept you, he could never imagine doing so in the slightest, but he probably wouldn’t know what to say initially

imagine you both were in the midst of playing bedwars together in a recording for a video

he had been busy gathering emeralds while you remained at the base, and the comforting silence gave you the confidence to blindly address it

“Hey Tommy?” “What, y/n? I’m in the middle of something right now.” “Oh, um, I’m pretty sure I’m bisexual.” “…” “…Tommy?” “…” “T— Tommy?”

it’d be dead quiet for a few seconds before you heard the noise of him rustling in realization

“Wait wait wait, you’re serious? You’re bisexual?” “Haha yeah, yeah, I am.” “WHA—!”

he was happy for you, to say the least

tommy loves to joke, and one he loved to make would be your attraction to both genders

you like women? pog!

you like men? a shame, honestly

if you were publicly out, his favorite bit would be to include you in his obnoxious swooning

imagine he was streaming while talking about his love for women

“Boys, honestly, the ladies just can’t resist me.”

The ding of discord notified you entering the call, the sound of your laughter immediately coming through.

“I agree, Tommy, I definitely agree.” “Y/n! You are attracted to women, and I am also attracted to women. You can agree women are amazing, yes?” “I can, Tommy. Women are indeed amazing.” “Good lad!” “Tommy, you do realize I’m not only attracted to w—” “Shush, we don’t speak of that.”

he showed his support by normalizing your sexuality, his acceptance quick and easily integrated into your lives

(this is getting long but—) tommy was well aware he lacked some knowledge when being in the LGBTQ+ community, but openly voiced his ignorance as a sign of awareness itself

he was always quick to correct either himself or others, he refused to accept slander of any type in his streams

would probably try to keep it light heartedly, but scold nonetheless

tommy was your figurative cheerleader, always there to include and uplift you, whether that be through the smallest gestures or loudest cheers

tubbo -

poor tubbo

since he wasn’t the most careful with secrets, you probably withheld telling him till you were ready for most to know

this isn’t to deter anything of not trusting him, he’s still supportive and loving tubbo that wouldn’t dare do anything purposeful against you

if anything, you might have forgotten that he didn’t know when you were casually taking about it within a group

imagine you and Ranboo were trying to get him to sleep one early morning but gave up

you started talking about personal stuff and the topic of your love life came up, specifically the attraction to someone of the same gender

“I don’t know, Ranboo, I mean, I think I like them but at the same time I’m not sure.” “That’s fai—” “Wait, y/n. You’re gay??” “Bisexual, actually.” “WaAA—”

his very sleep deprived state was extremely happy and emotional for you

he’s like the little duckling with a knife, like he loves you completely but will try to hurt anyone that offends you

like tommy, he has no personal knowledge when being in the LGBTQ+ community but will solely learn for your sake

whether you’re younger or not, tubbo never fails to remind you that he looks up to you

he gives his all and won’t hesitate to provide in any way he can if needed

“You matter,” he’ll always say, “you’re important and no one else’s opinion matter.”

is proud to be your friend and expresses his platonic love in full, for you’re you and are so brave to be yourself despite all

choosing not to tag my usual taglist just cause its a headcanon with a specific request <33 (huge ty to @basilly and @inniterhq though for the advice/motivation to finish this)

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lubdubsworld · 3 years

Text

物の哀れ ~ ( the sadness of things )

( Note : This is just a personal post for myself. I’m trying to just make a record of how the fic was conceived and all that I experienced, writing this fic )

Inspiration :

So, I ran into an article on Japanese words and I was incredibly fascinated by the phrase , Mono no aware or the pathos of things : Basically the sadness of things. It was a very unusual concept to me because it could be interpreted in so many ways.

A little bit of digging around made me realize that some people linked it to the cherry blossom season where the flowers come into full bloom and add such a delicate beauty to the landscape. But of course, being seasonal, the beauty lasts for a very small time. The flowers die and their life ends .

its fleeting and passes by quite soon. So the sadness of things is basically how, the fact that something is fleeting or seasonal or about to end, should not take away from our enjoyment of things. Because yes the cherry blossoms die but people still flock to watch the cherry blossoms.

The phrase came to me at a very troubled time in my life.

My mother’s sister passed and she had raised me for a few years. I loved her deeply and she was only a couple of years older than my mother. Death was a thing that I had always viewed in abstract. The loss of a loved one was not something I had experienced on a very personal level, so it shook me.

And of course, being the person I am , I did what I always do when I get overwhelmed : Research.

I combed through reddit forums on grief, through blogs written by people who had lost loved ones , through blogs by psychotherapists, through online websites offering grief counselling and everything I could think of.

What fascinated me were two things :

1. ) The non linear nature of healing ~ the stages of grief is a myth. Nobody goes through stages of emotional turmoil and then magically becomes better.

By the way the whole stages of grief was formulated with reference to a terminally ill person coming to terms with their own death .

So, it couldn’t really be applied to people dealing with the loss of a loved one. At least not directly.

And the second, one,

2.) The very personal nature of grief ~ depending on how the relationship with the lost one is, grief varies. I realized then that only someone who had lost a loved one would know what its like. No one else could ever possibly understand the grief and pain that comes from loss.

As Heejin says in the sadness of things,” I would never know what his loss was like, because I would never know what he lost.”

It gave me a whole new perspective on how grief at the end of the day has to be a personal journey of healing , one that no one else can help you through. You need to live and hurt through every excruciating second of it.

There’s still so much I want to say about this but I’ll stop here. I’ll probably add to this as days go by. But yes, this wasn’t a fic that i wrote on a whim. It was something of a research project for me. An exploration of grief and healing.

Thank you for joining me in this journey. It was definitely one of the most fulfilling ones I’ve ever had.

The Story :~

You can read it here :

⋆⋆✵ 物の哀れ ( ‘the sadness of things’.) ✵⋆⋆

Chapter 1 ⋆ Chapter 2 ⋆ Chapter 3 ⋆ Chapter 4 ⋆ Chapter 5 ⋆

Chapter 6 ⋆ Chapter 7 ⋆ Chapter 8. ⋆ Chapter 9. Chapter 10.

Extra Drabble

Completed.

Alpha! Jungkook x Omega ! OC.

ABO Dynamics.

Genre : Arranged Marriage / Temporary contractual Marriage.

Warnings : Non- Con/ Extremely Dubious Consent . High functioning alcoholism. Genre related consent issues. Implied suicidal thoughts.

Summary : A recently widowed Jungkook agrees to a contract marriage to keep his company afloat. His grief overwhelms him and it is hard to look at his new wife as anything other than an intruder .

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The characters :

Oh, boy.

I could go on about these two for years.

Jungkook and Heejin.

Let me start with Jungkook :

Jungkook in the fic came to me as a very troubled young man. In the fic he starts off as a very depressed young man. The opening scene of him staring listlessly into a bowl of cereal while his friends talk to him and Heejin just watches if from my own experience with depression in 2017.

I would be numb in my body and mind with no idea what was going on around me and it seemed like everyone made all the choices for me while i just flowed along. It was a battle getting up in the morning. I had nothing to look forward to. Nothing to hope for.

So Jungkook , depressed and confused and reeling from loss is our hero.

Our main man.

The one I wanted you guys to root for.

The one I wanted you guys to see yourself in, in those moments when your pain and trauma changes you.

When you’ve always been a soft spoken, kind hearted person but suddenly the pain overwhelms you and you just want to scream the place down. You want to hurt and hurt and hurt because you’re hurting and you don’t know how to process it.

Jungkook’s journey is fraught with pain, endured and inflicted . He loses himself and his identity.

He’s a CEO, a father and a husband and he can’t be any of those things, because of his grief. So there it was the three things I wanted him to find and love and enjoy by the end of the fic :

His career doing something he loves :

Fatherhood raising the daughter he was blessed with : our lovely mina who I modeled on my own daughter ( and loved just as much )

and finally,

A Love that was unconditional and beautiful. That maybe new and different from what he had lost in his wife but just as, if not more fulfilling.

And so I stumbled into the woman who forever changed the way I perceived myself : Lee Heejin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Writing Heejin in this fic is so cathartic for me.

For years, I’ve been her. The voice of reason, the one to compromise. I would be the one every single person in the family would call , anytime anything went wrong.

Kind. Smart. She’ll know what to do. She’ll never say no. She’s always laughing. So witty. She’s so funny.

The phrases just blur in my head. I’ve been this emotional punching bag for people for so long. I had a very abusive father and honestly no one was there to listen to me talk about him. If i tried, they would always ask me what I did to make him behave that way.

So , if you think Heejin is a pushover, that she’s giving too much of herself to people who don’t deserve.....just know that sometimes, saying no and standing your ground is a privilege not everyone can afford. And because I’d been there i understood her.

That isn’t all she is though. She is also someone who knows that she doesn’t deserve to be treated that way. At no point in the fic does Heejin see Jungkook’s actions as anything other than the abuse it is and for that i will always be proud of her.

Heejin’s healing is much more complicated. She isn’t really healed at the end of the fic...because to be honest , I’m not healed and I don’t know what its like to be ....But she is on the path to it, and that’s what matters.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

#the sadness of things

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hawksky · 3 years

Text

You wake up on your ex's fire escape; wc 2.5k

A/N: I don't really know how to categorize this ? starts as funny, gets into angst with a happy/hopeful ending. I might write this again for another character and make it 0 angst but using Megumi just let this get away from me. Thank you @sixeyesgojo for reading through my first draft, it helped me edit a lot since 😘. Although I have not looked over the ending since I wrote it, I'm done working on this fic so sorry if it falls flat.

CW: Mentions of excessive alcohol consumption.

Suggested listening: song 1 and song 2 you can pick just one to cater your experience (they are VERY different vibes) or switch over around the shampoo situation.

Objectively, there were good ways to wake up. In the arms of a beautiful person, with cold sheets and a warm body, or with the scent of your favourite breakfast wafting through the air. No disrespect to mornings at all, there were good ways to wake up, you were mature enough to recognize this.

A perplexingly rough, wet, and warm sensation gliding across your cheek, while last night’s jeans dug into your waist, and there was a pounding in your head? It was fairly safe to say this was not a good way to wake up.

It spoke volumes for how out of it you were that it was only just beginning to register in your brain that you weren’t at home, you were not even on a bed, and that the continued licks across your face were the work of animal far too large to be one of your friends cats.

“Fucking hell you’re supposed to be intimidating” you hear a voice grumble without much heat behind it.

As you forced your eyes open you are met with an excited dog tapping its paws in excitement of your presence, and the man behind the half hearted grumble. His gaze was unmistakably familiar, but his expression could not be more foreign to you.

“uhm, Hi” you croaked out while plastering a wide grin in hopes he wouldn’t murder you.

His eyebrow raised on instinct in response. You knew he was waiting for you to explain what you were doing, but the reality was you didn’t have an answer.

“I wish I could explain, but honestly I’m not sure what happened – last thing I remember was being bought another shot… Wait, where am I exactly?” You were desperately hoping you came off as charming instead of pathetic given the circumstances.

“How out of it are you?” he scrunched his face in confusion as he muttered to himself. “You’re on my fire escape, it’s in Ikebukuro? Tokyo… Japan, in case you needed the reminder”

It felt infantilizing to have him scold you like this, which only made this next part all the more difficult. You were not supposed to be Ikebukuro. You were not supposed to be in Tokyo. You were supposed to be in Yokohama. What was even more concerning is that you were definitely not supposed to be on your old fire escape, the one connected to the apartment your ex still lived in.

As you painstakingly pushed yourself upright, a warm weight laid on your upper thigh, a furry face nuzzling into your stomach – you wondered if she was aware of tension between you and her owner. You scratched behind her ears, letting Jade know she was in fact a good girl despite the earlier reprimand from her owner.

As much as you’d love to spend the day sitting on a fire escape petting your ex’s dog, you had to go home, you just need to call –

Your phone. Where was your phone? You felt around frantically for your phone, only to come up with nothing. A light sense of panic bubbles in the pit of your stomach, only to be swiftly interrupted.

“it’s already charging, I plugged it in last night, you dropped in inches away from falling down”

So, he was still watching you despite having returned inside long ago. It was difficult for you to parse this sort of gesture, how caring could it be to plug someone’s phone in when you still left them to sleep outside? Maybe he was just doing everything he could to get rid of you. It was too much to try and analyze for someone who blacked out and woke up in a different city.

“Why did you come here?” you hear him bite out from inside. It sounds harsh, but it feels like his stange way of inviting you inside.

“I don’t know what you’ve picked up from these circumstances, but not knowing is kind of a part of the problem. Believe me, there’s no amount of conscious desperation that would leaf me to sleeping on a fire escape, even yours”

You glanced around the apartment to avoid his void expression; it was spotless. But it was even harder noticing, the turned over picture frames, your favourite quilt still on the back of the couch – remnants of the past living in the present.

This tension only increased as a mug of freshly brewed green tea was placed in front of you. How thoughtful to remember you hated coffee, to realize your throat was probably killing you – you would have tasted a creeping bitterness from all these emotions, if it wasn’t overpowered by what was the distinct taste of your favourite brand that had to be special ordered.

He had always complained, there were plenty of good options for tea at the grocery store, why wasn’t that enough for you? It was so much extra effort to special order from a tea shop across town, the only place that you were able to charm the owner into ordering for you.

“How are you still so fucking awful at taking care of yourself?” he spat the words out like an insult, it was jarring honestly. Despite the time away from each other, it was no less strange to feel his detachment.

He moved towards the door beckoning Jade to follow. “There’s a towel and change of clothes in the bathroom, you should probably take a shower. If I’m not back by the time you leave, just lock up before you go, I haven’t moved the spare key.” Without looking back or waiting for a response he left.

You were starting to recognize your growing frustration – you had known him how long? Dated and lived together for a not-insignificant amount of time? Yet here you were, no idea how to interpret this strange morning, much less his last comment. Did he want you to be here when he returned? Were you supposed to leave and act like you had never been there? Could he genuinely be as indifferent as he wanted you to believe? It pissed you that your feelings were probably plain on your face.

You searched for your phone, finding it on what used to be your side of the couch. It felt ridiculous to think you ever had a side of the couch, but you were both creatures of habit and slowly without even thinking you both made your own little sanctuary mere metres away from each other.

You awoke your phone, expecting a flood of texts and phone calls from your friends, only to find nothing. Not a single check in from anyone. You open the group chat and furiously tap out a message.

Your phone vibrates rapidly as you place it down but you’re not in the mood to field their questions.

You’re tempted to leave now, just to get it over with, go home and crawl into bed and forget any of this ever happened. But, you felt gross, it was late enough in the morning that you could run into someone you knew, and you missed the water pressure here.

As you got ready for your shower you surveyed your options. You refused to smell like him, but the only other bottle in the shower was doggy shampoo. Surely dog’s fur and human hair weren’t so different right? Jade did have a beautiful coat, very soft and shiny… You reprimanded yourself for the ridiculous idea, but the point remained, there had to be something else for you to use.

Your brain, far more alert than it was 30 minutes ago, thought of all the things he hadn’t changed, all the fixtures still in place. You had always kept an extra set of all your supplies under the sink. By the grace of all that is good on this cruel cruel earth, they were there, in all their dusty glory, your prized hygiene products sat unmoved under the sink. It would have been sick and twisted to have to leave your ex-boyfriend’s apartment smelling exactly like him, left to spend the rest of the day agonizing over whether you should take another shower.

As you entered the shower you wondered more. He had to have noticed the softness in your eyes, the faint smile you wore just having an ounce of his attention again, the way ti widened at every caring gesture, and falling with every biting remark.

Yes, it hurt every day missing him. Yes, it would hurt if he hated you. But none of that compared to the feeling of not knowing. What were you supposed to do with all these residual feelings that have yet to go away? Were they worth the suffocation or should you strip them away?

You were proud of yourself, all these reminders of what you once had, in a place you once loved, and you had yet to break down, not even shedding a tear. If you weren’t wrapping yourself in a towel, you would’ve given yourself a pat on the back. This victory was short lived, everyone’s strength has its limits and you had taken yours too far past it already. But then you saw it, something you were completely unprepared for.

Laid neatly on top the closed laundry basket was THE outfit. It was nothing special to anyone else, just a grey sweater and loose joggers, but how many days had you spent alone breathing in his scent for comfort while he was gone? How many hard days at work had you reaching for these exact pieces as if they were the cure to all your problems?

Unable to support your own weight anymore, you fell to the tiled floor, tears spilling out, as your already sore throat grew even more hoarse – you felt like everything was collapsing around you. You weren’t expecting to see him, and you certainly weren’t expecting to need him in so many little ways. It was easy to forget how easily he weaves himself into your life, encroaching on everything you do.

The world disappeared behind each shallow breath, and an endless stream of tears you couldn’t control. Your fingers scratch against your forearms repeatedly, trying to ground yourself in some reality you could no longer grasp. It is so exhausting trying to be over him, going through these cycles of strong emotions, over and over and over again.

Suddenly, for the second time in as few hours, you felt an overwhelming weight encompass your body.

Of course, his stupid fucking perfect dog would still know how to bring you out of a panic attack like he had spent so much time training when you started dating. You clutched to Jade as your breathing slowed, but it did nothing to stop your sobs, if anything it was just another painful reminder of everything you let go.

“Uhhh….” Megumi was frozen at the door, for the first time today he didn’t know what to do. His indifferent façade dropped as he observed the scene on his bathroom floor.

There’s nothing left to lose, not for a moment that he has seen this morning have you possessed more than an ounce of dignity, “So that’s it? You don’t know what to do either? You know it’s been a whole fucking year and I still haven’t figured out how to live without you. A whole year and I’m still a mess. I can’t survive being reminded of us, look at me. And yet every attempt to get over you was a knife twisting because they’ll never be you. Now I’m here and I get to witness the wonderful Megumi Fushiguro, unaffected, and you… you have it all together.” You trail off, giving to him everything left in you.

You weren’t expecting the confused and indignant expression on his face, “You think this is having it together?” His voice lightly raising with each word “This place might as well be a sealed shrine to you and our relationship. I haven’t thrown a single thing out, moved any furniture, bought anything new – the only thing that’s ‘new’ is your stupid tea I keep buying even though I hate it, and for fucks sake y/n I should’ve moved out. Every part of me that looks like I have it together is just my version of a mess.” He brushes a stray strand out of your face, his own face moving far too close for this to be purely platonic anymore “y/n I’m no better off than you are, I’ve just kept everyone from looking”.

“So what are we supposed to do with all this?” Your eyes shining, naïve hope seeping through your defenses at the confirmation that he couldn’t live without you either.

“We could try again” Somehow, it wasn’t quite what you needed to hear. “I, am going to get dressed, and then we’ll talk, I’ll meet you in the kitchen.” He nodded lightly, pulling himself up and exiting with Jade on his heels.

Dressed in the clothes you thought would burn your skin to even touch let alone wear, you let out a long sigh as you sit on at the breakfast nook. “Look, Megumi, I need to know if you’ve worked through it, any of it? I can’t, I can’t wait another three years for you to tell me you can’t say the words I love you, that you can’t commit to more than a yearly rental, I can’t just have you here I need more security than that”

He pursed his lips, unsure of what he could say to that, how he could make sure you didn’t leave again.

“Megumi, I don’t need you to say it to me today, I don’t need you to commit to anything today, but I have to know you’ve tried that I can’t keep waiting for you”

“I… Just give me a minute, please” his voice weak pleading with you. You waited, knowing better than to rush him, laying a hand on top of his assuring him you weren’t going to run out the door.

“y/n, I’m supposed to be honest and vulnerable, I’m supposed to tell myself that people won’t abandon me just because I give them access to who I really am. I want to tell you I love you, because there’s no other explanation for feeling this way. For feeling like your eyes outshine the stars, that your mind is more brilliant than the sun. I’ve tortured myself for a year with the idea of you meeting someone who could give you everything I couldn’t, and selfishly I prayed they were awful, I wished you were miserable so I pretend the truth wasn’t real that I was not enough for you, that I couldn’t give you what you needed. I’ve never seen a loving relationship, certainly not for long enough to form memories, but I look at you and I can’t imagine anything else”

Your thumb reaches to brush away the stray tear sliding down his face as he spoke to you. Manoeuvring yourself around to be on the same side of the nook as him, you pull him into you, letting him bury his head into the crook of your neck. You placed a gentle kiss into his hair before whispered into his ear “You were always enough, I just needed you to know it too.”

not not a tag list: @satosuguslut @sandyscastle

#megumi fushiguro x reader #fushiguro megumi #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jujutsu kaisen angst #megumi fushiguro angst #megumi fushiguro fic #jujutsu kaisen fics #im so bad at tagging yall i never know what works or what people use sos #megumi fushiguro x y/n #i give up ok bye

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romanceboys · 3 years

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(interview) gq korea february issue 2021 — shinee minho “i’m still as passionate as ever”

1. i heard that your schedule ran until dawn today. you still look energetic. no matter how exhausted i am, my condition improves once i wake up and take a shower. because it’s like the usual morning routine. 2. you take pride in the fact that your stamina is second to none, right? it reminded me of something you said long ago. i wouldn’t go as far as to say that it’s my pride, but i do know my stamina is stronger than most. my energetic appearance is my positive characteristic as well. 3. moreover, it hasn’t been long since you were discharged from the marines. well, it seems like my stamina has gotten better. hahaha. 4. there must be a lot that you want to do. what do you enjoy doing the most these days? since it’s not the kind of situation where i can roam about freely, i’ve been spending a lot of time with my family. i was with them on christmas and new year’s. i’d barely done this since debut so i think it was a good thing. even in the military, i missed my people the most. 5. that must be why on the day of your discharge you made a surprise appearance at taemin’s music broadcast waiting room. in your military uniform. i rushed straight from pohang. the shinee members were gathered to support taemin, and the staff that had been with us for over ten years was present too. when i looked back on shinee’s activities in the military, the very fun and enjoyable memories felt vague, but on that day they became clear to me right away. this is why we’ve continued together for so long. 6. what do you talk about with your members? since we’re currently preparing for our album, we’ve been talking about us as a team a lot. things like shinee’s (future) direction and what we ought to show. 7. did you figure something out? up till now shinee has often attempted unique and novel challenges, musically and stylistically. there were times when things were derived from what we did first, or even times when we had to question ourselves “is this okay?” before taking a bold step. but because we're an idol group, we folded under inevitable stereotypes and could not ignore them. however, we now collectively agree on preserving our artistic aspect well in order to show off a more distinct musical colour. 8. agreed. can you tell us which song represents shinee’s identity? the title track of the 4th album ‘view’ was shinee’s turning point. prior to this, the group was mostly known for its strength in performance, but through this song we were able to show the type of musical colour we pursued. we tried deep house at a time when the genre was unknown to k-pop and though it was not done without reservations, we got the response we expected. it’s basically what the entire (odd) album stands for. 9. besides music or performance, is there any other scene that can portray shinee well? having overcome many obstacles, we can’t define ourselves simply by saying ‘yes, this is us.’ rather, if there were to be a documentary made on shinee, i wonder how it’d be like to have the opening scene unveil the members’ perfectly human state instead of their moments of glory. for instance, saying whatever i want to without hesitation. without worrying, without walking on eggshells. 10. are you a quiet person? though i do joke around easily, i try to be careful with my words. i’m more of a listener than a talker. 11. you lived entirely as choi minho in the military. did you live true to yourself or were you able to discover a new side? it’s both. i had a lot of time for introspection. i reflected on the time spent and thought about what was good or disappointing, it unveiled a side of me that i hadn’t even considered while working as shinee minho. rather than saying it changed me, i was able to understand myself more definitively as a person. what i could be honest about and careful with with people became clear to me, i also realised that my strengths can become my weaknesses. 12. what made you think that? i thought i had an outgoing personality, but in retrospect i was more concerned about the people around me than myself. the other party can only be at ease if i’m comfortable... i was so busy being considerate that i ended up becoming stressed without realising. 13. an upright and serious image comes to mind when we say minho, turns out there was a complicated reason for it. it’s because i wasn’t even aware of it. i believe it’s something i need to work on to become a better person. this is also why i’m looking forward to my thirties. i’m curious about the areas i’ll mature in. 14. among the expressions that describe minho are passion and giving it your all. when do you think was your most passionate era? when i debuted as shinee, practicing blindly and then promoting made me feel like i was lacking a lot which affected my confidence. after our first concert, however, i became less anxious and worried. i realised that there were many fans who supported me. all i could think of was that i had to give it my best. my passion from back then is still the same as ever. it’s my understanding that i’ve come all the way to the present without cooling down. 15. what meaning does passion hold for you? does it mean that you’re very ambitious/greedy? i used to think passion and ambition meant the same thing. i was very certain that you could achieve anything if you were ambitious enough and worked hard. i hypnotized myself into believing that because i wanted it so badly, not because i was being reckless. as i started gaining more experience, i began to differentiate between the two. if passion means doing what you can to the best of your abilities, then greed is limiting yourself when you try something new because you wonder whether you can do it well. and that is why confidence is important. if you’re confident, then you can carry greed with a positive energy. 16. have you now gotten used to acting and promoting as shinee at the same time? at first i thought i could do it even if it was difficult. turns out that wasn’t the case. killing two birds with one stone wasn’t as easy as i thought. i don’t want to let either go. instead of saying yes it’s hard or i’m disappointed in the results, i believe this is a problem i need to solve. 17. your first activity after discharge was acting. you made a special appearance in the drama ‘lovestruck in the city,’ what was your first line? “please wear this.” i cannot forget it. 18. why not? one of my favourite words is ‘first.’ your first experiences are always unforgettable. seconds are usually a vague memory. that’s why firsts are extremely meaningful. standing before the camera for the first time after discharge felt like i was starting anew. the scene wasn’t even that hard, but i was very nervous. just like the first time i acted, i vividly remember the day’s situation, people, the atmosphere, and the weather. 19. do you remember your first scene as well? it’s been more than a decade. it was a one-episode short drama; the scene was filmed inside a tow truck. i don’t remember my line very well, but the actors, the hustle and bustle of the staff outside the window, the glaring sunlight, the tow truck i sat in for the first time are all still very vivid. i try not to forget it. 20. do you remember the first praise you received for your acting? hm, many people around me say nice things, but i’ve never considered those as compliments. it’s because i don’t think i’ve done anything praiseworthy yet. so let’s just say my first praise doesn’t exist for now. 21. that is a very objective yet cool answer. then what do you think is something you need courage to do? everyday things.... like cooking. i can’t bring myself to even think about it, but i should attempt it before it’s too late. 22. by the way, you started sns. you did say in an interview that you did not see the need for socials, so what changed your mind? i received so many letters from fans in the military. i read every single one of them, and in most of them fans asked me to share my daily life through sns. though i did joke around saying that i’d rather hold a personal photo exhibition than create socials, i got one as a present for fans who spent two years waiting for me. but i’m not sure if i can manage it well. 23. do you tend to record your personal life through pictures like others? haha. not at all. i’m working towards it these days. 24. when was your sns profile picture taken? when i was three or four years old. i racked my brain over this too. whether to upload a sefie or to go for a cool vibe.

translated by romanceboys — take out with full credit (source)

#shinee #minho #interview #210121 #translations #gq korea february issue 2021 #e:the story of light epilogue

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stopeatingwhales · 4 years

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about a girl (pt.2) x kurt cobain

hi guys :) so sorry for my inactivity, but i’m here finally lmaoo, this is a part two to my kurt fic that i wrote about a month ago, due to school its been much harder for me to keep up writing as usual, but i will absolutely try my best to finish your guys’ requests soon! anyways, hope you enjoy this <3 Pairing: pre-bleach era kurt x reader

Warnings: nothing :)

Word count: 2.167

Requested by anon (the second part was my idea, but i felt like i should still credit the anon for giving me the idea for this x)

༉‧₊˚✧

The wind exhales short, breezy waves as you lay there, engulfed in your dreams. From the night succeeding to your outstanding performance, you were requited to a favourable hibernation which by admiring you, was needed for not only the sum of a few hours. Your solemn features are painted still, the only movement stimulating from your body is heavy breaths accompanied by a light snore from time to time. I question whether it's righteous of me to allow my eyes to adorn themselves in your serene features, yet I simply cannot stop myself. I find it surreal to witness you in such fragility; for all the pain and sorrow you’ve had to experience in your life, it’s almost like you shouldn’t be sleeping in such a tranquillic state. I wonder if you prefer sleeping than being awake, I wonder if you think it’s a chore to get out of bed. Does the world haunt you? Every click, flash, snap of a camera, does it devastate you? The image you portray to the world is magnificent, yet flawed. It’s almost as if you’re hiding something, yet you don’t care what others think of you, so you do whatever you please. My heart skips a beat every time you shift slightly, cradling your body in the duvet. I advert my stare to your arms, sculpted perfectly in God’s chamber, the lankiness of your bones withering an appearance of discrepancy. You’re not like the rest of them. Your steady breaths softly ease in and out of your flawless torso, your hair so impeccable it looks untouched even when you’re shifting around in your slumber - the hair you willingly dyed and strained with a flavoured drink mix. As I admire you, sleeping beauty, it reminds me of how lucky I am to have you in my life - regardless of where we stand. When you’re awake, you’re the only thing keeping me sane during the day; spending even just a day without you would feel as if I had lost my legs, lost what’s kept me steady for all these draining years. In all my time of knowing and understanding you, have you never not known what to say, for you have such a way with words, it's unfathomable. You carry a sort of intelligence that no one can seem to obtain; you speak words out of a bible and it’s ironic I say that, Mr ‘God is gay’, but it’s true. You’re the reason I wake up in the morning. You’re like a hard candy, sweet and delicate, although the texture is very hard making it a burden to get through to you. I want to taste you on my tongue every morning, if you would like me to be honest. I crave for things as little as your scent even before I’ve risen from the cushion. Your grace must be envied by the heavens; there is and will never be anyone as alluring as you, not that I’m surprised.

As my eyes continue to wander on him, a sudden stretch of his arms and a small groan echoing out of his vocal chords results in my body almost instantaneously sitting up. I watch him as he blinks his eyes a few times, his vision still not clear enough. “Good morning,” he whispers, his arms thrown to the skies; he’s like a baby, reaching out for their mother in the early hours of daylight, moaning and whining for affection, warming my heart with soreful ease. Quickly taking note of the small clock situated beside him that I was aware of for the many hours I had been trapped in thought, it read a bright and early 11am. My stare continues to linger onto him as I watch him shifting around, the heart situated in my upper chest now beating as fast as drum solos in heavy metal songs. A short silence stood in between both presences; I assume that he hadn’t taken note of my pondering state adjacent to him, though was that idea contradicted by his light greeting. “Did you sleep well?” he chirps, now using both palms to rub his what-seemed-like itchy eyes.

Now what is humorous from this scenario is that he asks this as if it means nothing; a simple conversation starter it may be, though, to me it means so much more hearing those light words roll off his tongue, compared to if someone else had said it, even if it was in the exact same moment living right now. A whiff of bad breath hits my face as I laugh lightly, shaking my head in a sort of admiration towards the man lying down ahead of me. He again blinks a few times, now in attempt to adjust the bright scenery to his view. For a couple seconds the room is frozen, Kurt’s alteration in position to sitting up becoming the only sound ringing through both our ears. As I find my gaze glued onto him once again, I subconsciously repeat the question he asked me, this time directed for him. However, from what I’ve seen, I’m certain he slept wonderfully.

A tired chuckle escaped his mouth. “I asked you first,” he mutters, the morning rasp still prominent in his vocal chords. This makes me smile. The raw, genuinity forwards the idea of realism that this moment was actually happening, coming like a pinch snapping someone out of their daydream, though my thoughts will never be known to understand how I was able to spend time with such a man. “I slept well, though.” he adds, a warm smile playing on his lips.

“I couldn’t sleep,” I answered, my face now being cradled by my palms.

I now feel the stare of Kurt burn onto my face. “Why didn’t you wake me up?” he asks, a hint of annoyance laced in his words. “We could’ve stayed up together,”

A small chuckle breezes out of my nose. How considerate, how caring must you be to, even when you have performed such an exasperating gig, stay awake with me because of one night of my mind’s continuous ambles? For all I know, Kurt wouldn’t sleep for days if it meant I would be in absolute glee. It’s those sorts of traits in those who are lost which draw you towards them becoming the significant other to stay with for life. It’s that sense of attachment, connection you hold with someone, so strong that you would give up the roof over your head if it meant a smile to be drawn on their face. ”You looked so peaceful in your sleep,” I replied, staring directly into his loveable eyes, the shade of blue brightening as the sunlight melted onto his face. His hair was now a little more messier compared to how it was less than ten minutes ago, and the urge of me running my fingers through his golden locks only seemed to grow even more as time passed on. For a moment I decided to hold back my words, inhaling sharply to gain composure to my fatigued state. “I didn’t want to disturb you,”

Kurt sighed - knowing that he needed sleep more than anything, though a hint of sadness dwindled in his stomach, his mind conflicted from the idea of me drowning in worry as I tended to do when I couldn’t sleep. Reaching his arm towards the table sat beside him, his fingers got lost in between the opened packet of cigarettes that slept reverently on the white wood, grabbing a random one at choice before placing it in a loose grip between his lips. With the known information that you need a torch to light a cigarette, I threw the one I had on his lap, a small laugh escaping my lips for no apparent reason. Actually no, there was a reason. “Who the fuck smokes first thing in the morning?”

Before he torched the lighter, he stopped, his piercing blue eyes locking in contact with mine. “Me, I do,”

Another laugh tempted to flee itself from my throat, yet I held it back. If you would’ve said that to me the first night I met you, in that small, cramped room, littered with amps that Krist had dragged me into going in to listen to your material, I would’ve scoffed at your blown attitude towards such a random question. Watching you now as you’re admiring the cancer stick with pure attachment, my mind begins to wander over such a topic. I look at you and see a troubled, young kid who just wants love and affection because he seemingly never got enough from the people who designed his childhood; for you haven’t grown up since then. Perhaps in size and features, yes (and definitely the fact that children do not smoke), but hidden inside you is the same boy that was hidden away all those years ago - following onto your parents’ divorce. You say you’ve never been happy since then, you’ve never been able to think optimistically, and maybe you haven’t. Maybe the smile you give to me isn’t genuine; with continuous assurance I’ll consider it to be. Maybe I’ll never heal those bruises that were once your only source of living, and that’s okay, if you’re able to cope with the imprints. If you’re the Kurt Cobain that prefers smoking than having a normal breakfast, so be it; I’d give up my heart for you, and if anything, you’ve already stolen it. Words merely brush the surface of my adoration for you, and sometimes I believe that I’m just lying to myself, that nothing I’m saying in my head is true. Yet, as every minute, every second passes throughout the day, even in silent, contented situations with ceilings bright as yellow from the smoke like these, everything I say to myself simply strengthens in morality. My sweet, you deserve more than one could wish for. You deserve things that this world cannot give you, yet all you believe is that you are worthless. If only you saw yourself in my eyes, maybe then you’d realise, realise the impact you’ve sincerely doused onto me and my mind, you’ve got the moves to empower a generation and perhaps hundreds more - even if you don’t see that yet.

“Give me one,” He hands me one, the strong gusts of cloud escaping his mouth creating a want for the rough substance to coat my throat in brutal ways; even if it’s slowly murdering me. It was a murderous addiction, nicotine, yet it kills us all, our addictions; and we are too blinded by the goodness it seemingly overshadows what we force to neglect in our minds - the bad in it all. We become so unbelievably enthralled by the pain we choose to accept it; we believe it is favourable, not disastrous and catastrophic. Drugs are frowned upon dearly, as they should be, but once you’re stuck, it takes more than simple courage to escape out of the deadly grip it chokes you in. Placing the cigarette in between my lips, identical to how he had just done, I reached my arm out to obtain the lighter that was in my clutch merely seconds ago, swiftly lighting it with one hand. As I breathed out the first tar-filled cloud from my cigar, I fixed my gaze onto him once again, sucking in my top lip as I allowed the droplets of ash fall onto my shirt. “I know I always say this,” I began as I studied his features, trying to identify any solemn, unpleasant emotions, noticing that there was none at all for the time being. “You’re going to make it big one day, I’m now for certain you’re going to take over the world,”

His eyes now locked into mine, a short chuckle leaving his throat as he blew out an even bigger gust of smoke. “I don’t want that,”

Smiling, I took hold of my cigarette and inhaled deeply, holding it in my mouth until my body was unable to carry on without oxygen for longer - not that the air in the room was even oxygen; it was more corrosive chemicals than anything else, yet we’ve become so dependant on a small roll of tobacco to guide us to a path of slow death, its unnoticable. I watched as Kurt’s eyes drifted on to admire the elusive sunlight gleaming through the window, the whiffs of grey contrasting the happiness that was attempting to journey itself into the silent room. No matter how many times I may tell, his belief that he will never be as big as acts like the Sex Pistols will empower over anything I endevour on to phrase. It was inevitable though, whether he dreamt of it or not, that they will be big, bigger than anything they’ve ever seen. The path bridging onto it may cause destruction, heartbreak, and even more addiction, but the future is never in our hands - only until it is close enough for the present to capture it. Time is simply a mantelpiece, the light eventually burns out when there’s not enough coal to keep it going. You continue to refill it as the days go by until you simply cannot any longer, which is what all youths fear and avoid. Surprisingly enough, Kurt wasn’t one of the many crowds in devastating apprehension; he wanted to burn out more than anything else, for there were only small things keeping him going, or perhaps he was waiting for a longer, more agonizing death, hence the many packets of cigarettes vanished in a day.

There was nothing left to say in the room; there was no need for a response - it was only going to result in the same bicker as it resulted in many a time. The room, now physically undergoing a change in colour from the smoke, held a significant ambience, one so serene it left you more relaxed than the aftermath of a crazy high in drug use, though sometimes the relaxation is more pain than anything else. Even when my mind was so consumed in ideation earlier in the morning, my thoughts were louder than ever in this given moment. My mind was mulled over the concept of Kurt and stardom. He would never like it, nor does he even want it. It’s humorous to an extent; how much authenticity can one acclaim, to not even look up to the sugar-coated concept called ‘fame’? You’re not like the others. You don’t want fame, you want to create music. And in all honesty, I wish I lie through my teeth whenever I mumble those encouraging words of how you’re going to make it big; I can’t stand the idea of losing you, but like I said, it's inevitable, one day simple moments like these will just be memories to look back on when you’re old and laughing about your previous attachment to drugs. Maybe you won’t look back on times like these however, maybe you’ll remember the more vivid, buzzing moments like your first gig as Nirvana, and maybe I won’t remember this either, maybe these moments aren’t to be remembered, to be lived in instead. If only you knew how much I loved you, would you be surprised that I haven’t ruined my life because of it. You mean more to me than the stars mean to the night sky, more than a memory means to a person’s mind. It hurts my heart knowing I can’t heal you, though I dream that one day, you’ll wake up, just like you did today, turn to me and say, ‘I’m happy,’ because that’s all I ever dream of you to be.

#kurt cobain x reader #nirvana #dave grohl #krist novoselic #kurt cobain #band imagines #my writing #smut #fluff #angst #grunge #90s #music #imagines

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mldrgrl · 3 years

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Broken Things 2/24

by: mldrgrl Rating: varies by chapter, rated R overall See Chapter 1 for summary and notes

Mulder blinks in surprise at the widow’s sudden dismissal. He’s overwhelmingly concerned for the welfare of this woman he’s just met and he has no idea what to do about it, but he does know he can’t just leave her here.

Moments ago he was looking around this house, thinking that it might just crumble around them where they stood. The place looks to be already abandoned, far worse than when Old Man Goodwin was living here, and he wasn’t much of a housekeeper. There are no furnishings. No dishware or pots and pans that he can see. No lamps. Not a knick knack or vase of flowers. She has nothing. Less than nothing, really, and he finds that to be unbearable.

The only thing Mulder knows about the widow, Katherine, is that she’s well-spoken and has been educated. Somewhere along the way there has to have been a fall from grace. Life has handed her a raw deal, that much he can gather, but there’s a spark of determination in her to keep her head above it all. She’s utterly captivated him and he’ll be damned if he’s going to let anything happen to her.

A wild idea pops into his head and he’s never been one to pass on a whim, wild or not. His gut tells him what he’s thinking might be crazy, but he’s followed his gut on crazier notions before and he’s learned to trust his instincts.

“Marry me,” he says.

“I’m...sorry?” Katherine asks. Her right eyebrow lifts into a perfectly peaked arch and he’s never found anything so endearing in his life.

“Hear me out before you object.”

“I’m listening.”

“Do you have a copy of the lease your husband signed?”

“I do.”

“May I see it?”

She hesitates for a moment, but then turns and moves to the back of the room. She reaches under the bedstead and returns with a tattered bible which she thumbs through and takes out a folded scrap of paper. He takes it from her, unfolds it, and then reads it.

“This is good,” he says. “Exactly as I’d hoped. Your husband signed a five-year lease with an option to purchase at the end of the term. Do you know if he has a will?”

“None I’m aware of.”

“And there are no children?”

Her lips part on a breath and then she closes them again and swallows before answering. “I am unable to have children.”

“I see.” He folds the lease agreement back along the original creases and hands it back to her. She slips it into the pages of the bible again. “Well, in the absence of any will, you would be the sole beneficiary. If we were to marry, I would assume your assets as well as your debts. I can pay what’s owed and if Mr. Skinner will allow it, make good on the option early. And you do know that it would also mean that what I own becomes yours as well.”

“I am quite certain you could own this land without marrying me.”

“That’s true I probably could. But, then where would that leave you?”

“I haven’t quite solved that particular problem yet, but you certainly don’t need to concern yourself with it.”

“Oh, but I do. Now that I know you, I can’t leave you here. You’ll be removed from the property soon enough and with no people to come for you or to return to...well, I couldn’t stand by and see that happen. My conscience would not allow it.”

“I could find work.”

“Out here? The only spot in town that would hire you is a house of ill-repute. Unless you plan to walk to Fort Worth, and even then there aren’t a lot of...look, I bet you know how to mend things? Cook some? Clean?”

“Of course.”

“I would offer you a job in that respect, but towns are small and people talk. If I take you on as a single woman to a ranch with six men about, people may think something improper was going on and that would affect business.”

“I’m not your responsibility, Mr. Mulder.”

“All my friends just call me Mulder. You might not be my responsibility, but I happen to like you.”

“You don’t even know me.”

“I know you’re smart and you’re kind and I enjoy speaking with you. And I know you don’t deserve to be put out on the street with nowhere to go and no people to turn to.”

She looks down and away from him and he moves his hand out to lift her chin, but thinks better of it and doesn’t touch her. He knows horses a lot better than he knows people, and hardly knows a thing about women, but she reminds him of a spooked colt and he doesn’t want to overwhelm her and cause her to retreat. Horses will hurt themselves out of fear, and she just might do the same.

“Think of it as a business arrangement,” he says. “You will be in charge of the household duties, and if you ever decide you’d like to leave, I will be sure you’ll go with the value of this land in your pocket.”

“Cooking, cleaning, mending,” she mumbles. “What else might you be expecting?”

“I’m not looking for sport, if that’s what you’re thinking. I told you, there’s a house in town and If it was sport I was after, there are certainly far cheaper alternatives. Excuse me for being blunt.”

“No, I appreciate your honesty.”

“You can trust me.”

“I’d like to believe that.” With her head still lowered, she reaches up and brushes the side of her hand across her eye. “What if one day you find a woman you actually wish to marry? Start a family. What would happen then?”

“You don’t have to worry about that. I have a singular focus and nothing else matters to me. But, if you should wish to marry, one day-”

“I won’t,” she says quickly, and firmly, shaking her head down at the floor. “I do not wish to marry again. I mean...aside from what you’re proposing.”

“Is that a yes?”

“You would really do all of this for a bit of land?”

“It’s good land.” He pauses and twists his lips for a moment or two. “But, as I’ve told you, it’s not just for the land.”

She finally glances up at him, but then quickly looks away again.

“Do you believe in fate?” he asks.

“I believe God has a plan for everyone.” Her brows furrow. “But, fate? Logically, I would have to say no.”

“One of my horses threw a shoe today. I wasn’t supposed to go into town this morning, and yet I did. If Faithful Jenny hadn’t thrown that shoe, I wouldn’t have been in town and I wouldn’t have found out about your husband. If I hadn’t found out about your husband, I wouldn’t have ridden out here. If I wouldn’t have ridden out here, I wouldn’t have met you.”

“But, if you weren’t away on business, you could have had this land six months ago, as you said.”

“Exactly my point. If I had purchased this plot six months ago, you never would’ve shown up here. I think this is meant to be. I think this is fate.”

“I don’t know about that, but...may I have a day to think this over?”

“Of course you may. And please, let me take you away from here. There are coyotes and bears that are apt to prowl around at night and this door doesn’t look very stable. Not to mention the drifters that pass through and the Indians that roam about, though they won’t usually do you any harm unless provoked. Still, I’d feel better if you’d come with me now.”

“Wouldn’t that look improper?” she asks, and her brow quirks again, only this time it feels a little more playful.

“Yes, Ma’am, it would, if I were to bring you home. I was planning on setting you up in town.”

“Surely not to the house of ill-repute?”

He smiles, glad that she’s in good enough humor to engage in a bit of banter. “John Byers and his wife Susannah operate the mercantile in town. They also have extra room since their boy, Franklin, has gone off to school. When I tell you that Susannah would be delighted for a lady friend, it might be an understatement.”

“If I leave with you, what if Mr. Skinner shows up?”

“I’ll handle Skinner.”

↭

Leaving with this stranger will not be the most rash thing she’s ever done, but it will be high on the list amongst the impetuous things she has done in her life. There’s something about him though that calms her insecurities and makes her feel like she can trust him. Besides, there really doesn’t seem to be any other option except to sit and wait to be evicted.

“Bring with you whatever you might need for a short time,” he tells her. “We can come back with a cart for anything else.”

But, there is nothing to come back for once she packs her nightgown, her bible, a tin cup, a broken hair comb, and a deerskin blanket into a burlap sack she’s been toting for the last few years. He looks at the sack and then at her and around the small sod house as if he’s waiting for more possessions to magically present themselves.

“This is everything I have,” she tells him.

“Alright then.” He nods and puts his hat back on.

His horse is very fine looking. Yellow, with a white mane. It whinnies when it sees him and he scratches it under the chin and rubs its nose. For a moment, it almost looks as though they’re holding a private conversation, with the horse nodding and whinnying and Mulder whispering softly to it. The horse scrapes a front hoof into the dirt and Mulder pats it gently on the shoulder.

“This is Blondie,” he says, smiling as he turns to her. “I was letting her know to be on her best behavior while you’re on her back. Do you ride?”

“I’ve ridden some when I was younger. I can walk, though.”

“We have to cross a creek up a bit and you’ll be safer and drier up here. Don’t worry, she’s nice and gentle. I’ll lead her. All you have to worry about is sitting straight and not falling off.”

“And getting up.” She eyes the stirrups on the saddle and estimates they’re at least as high as her shoulders.

Mulder chuckles and takes the sack from her. She notes the consideration he takes in placing it down on a patch of grass a few feet away and doesn’t drop it in the dirt. He comes back very close to the horse’s side and lunges forward a bit and slaps his knee.

“Go on and grab the saddle horn with your left hand and step on up with your left foot. You may have to lift your skirts a bit to throw your leg on over.”

It takes her three starts to gain the momentum to hoist herself up. She does what he tells her to though and gathers her skirts up. She knows she should be embarrassed by the holes in her shoes and that she has no stockings, but she lost the ability to care about such things a long time ago.

“Well done,” he says, and then passes the sack up to her. “I’m going to adjust these stirrups to fit and we’ll be on our way.”

He works the buckles and straps swiftly and expertly and apologizes for touching her ankle when her foot momentarily gets in the way. After he’s done, he brings the reins down over the horse’s head and turns it away from the house. Katherine realizes, once they’re some ways away, that she never even had the thought of turning back for a last look.

He tells her about the potential he sees in the land as they walk. He tells her about the corral he’d like to put up and how he would like to expand his business of training horses.

“You’re not from here,” she says at one point when he’s lost in his rambling.

“No, I grew up back east. Massachusetts.”

“How did you come to be so interested in horses?”

“Hand down that sack and hold on tight here, we’ll be crossing the creek and the horse could slip.”

She gives him her burlap bag and holds firm to the horn of the saddle. He throws the sack over one shoulder and guides the horse towards a small embankment and then tests the footing before they cross. She’s barely jostled by it. He stomps his boots once they’re back on dry land and hands the sack back up to her.

“That’s my girl,” he says, patting the horse lightly on the neck. The horse snorts and its ears twitch. “That creek was the dividing line of our properties.”

“Perhaps not for long.”

“Hopefully.”

The faint aroma of fire is in the air and she can see a thin curl of grey smoke in the distance. She sees Mr. Mulder breathe deep and then smile broadly.

“Looks like Melvin has noon dinner on the stove,” he says. “We’ll eat before we head into town.”

She doesn’t tell him, but she hasn’t eaten for almost three days. The pump behind the house gave plenty of water, but their food stock was depleted even before her late husband left last Saturday. She was able to boil some dandelions for a couple of days, but quickly ran out of matchsticks. Her stomach clenches and her mouth waters at the thought of food.

“So, you want to know how I came by the horse business,” he says.

“Mmhm,” she murmurs.

“When I was five years of age, there was a cholera outbreak in Boston. My parents, in their wisdom, felt that the city was unsafe for their children and they sent us away to live with my father’s dowager aunt at her country estate.”

“Was that difficult? Being away from your parents?”

“Not at all, actually. Auntie was a great lover of the outdoors and of children. She cared for my sister and I like we were her own, spoiled us as though we were as well. She gave me a little pony with a little cart for my birthday and that’s where it started, I suppose.”

“What happened when you went back to Boston?”

“Ah, well. I didn’t.”

“You didn’t?”

“The cholera took my mother. My father was not as equipped to care for children as Auntie was. He allowed my aunt to adopt us and then he eventually remarried and I have a younger stepbrother named Jeffrey who I don’t know much about except that he’s probably of the age to start college soon enough.”

“And what about your sister?”

“Her name was Samantha.”

“Was? Oh. I’m sorry to have-”

“You do not have to apologize.” He stops the horse and looks up at her. “It was a long time ago. She was eight when she passed on. Smallpox. She loved horses even more than I do. Blondie was actually her horse. Of course, she was a bitty little filly at the time, but Sam made me promise to take care of her, and I have. She’s been with me nigh on thirteen years now.”

Katherine doesn’t know what to say to this. The small smile Mulder gives her after he stroke’s the horse’s cheek is a sad one. It’s a painful reminder of the grief she also carries that she’s never spoken so freely about. She’s never spoken about it at all, in fact, and she can’t ever see a time when she will be able to.

The rest of the journey to the ranch is in silence.

#i wrote this #broken things #chapter 2 #AU #MSR

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destielhasmedead · 3 years

Text

this is the first part to a story i started - thoughts?

It had been two hours in the Impala for Cas to suddenly crack, he cleared his throat,

“Uh, Sam.”

“Yeah?” Sam turned around to see the angel. Cas made a head-nodding motion towards Dean and pointed to his ears.

“What y’all playing charades now? What is it Cas?” Dean laughed and took his eyes off the road for a minute to look at the two passengers,

“What…..”

“Dude, we’ve been listening to the same song for the past hour, and the same album for the past two, even Metallica isn’t that good,” Sam said.

“You watch your mouth Sammy, I'm the one driving here!”

“Dean, I do too thoroughly enjoy the melody, but perhaps we could hear something else?” Cas piped in from the backseat nervously. Dean moved his attention to the rearview mirror, took a good look at Castiel, then back to his brother, and with a deep sigh begrudgingly agreed. Sam grabbed something from his feet,

“An aux cord? You have to be kidding me”.

“Dean, unlike you I enjoy living in the 21st century. You should try it, upgrade from your cassette tapes.” Sam scoffed, but let out a soft chuckle.

“Fine let’s see what garbage you listen to.” Said Dean annoyed and skeptical. Cas moved eagerly towards the space between the two front seats to get a good look at all the commotion. Sam plugged the wire into his cell and proceeded to scroll through till he found the playlist he was looking for.

Sam had always been a soft rock, jazz, and even pop kind of guy. Though, he was sure to always have a playlist that wouldn’t get him kicked out onto the side of the road. Soon, Lodi by Creedence Clearwater Revival came on through the speakers. Dean's face fell flat but remained silent. They were on their way to the beach, so Sam knew he had some leeway and extra room to play with, and Dean was fully aware of the opportunities Sam had. It had been years, decades even since they had a proper visit to the beach. The only times they’ve been there was on a case. Sure, when the boys were younger John had let them stay a couple of days afterward from time to time, but even then it was stress-filled and tense.

A few songs in, Cas reached, sitting up higher, and pointed out the sign that read of the hotel they had booked. Cas had all the windows of the Impala opened, his hair flopped about as the salty air flowed around him. The hotel was located on a quiet street, just a short walk from the shore. It was nicer than the places they typically stayed at.

Sam helped his brother find a parking spot, and closed the doors almost simultaneously. Sam stayed back for a minute grabbing their bags, while Dean and Cas ventured inside. It was quaint, a typical beach hotel. Whiffs of sunblock, the squeaking of damp flip flops, bright lights, and inspirational signs filled their senses.

“Hi, we have three rooms booked.” Dean leaned on the counter and put down a credit card that wasn’t his.

“I see only two on the reservation list..” the clerk said clicking on his computer. Dean looked at Cas nervously, searching for a response to give to the man. Sam strolled in with their bags.

“What’s going on?” Sam butted in on the conversation.

“You only booked two rooms,” Dean said, glaring at his brother. Sam shrugged and turned back to the desk for answers.

“I’m sorry there’s nothing I can do, there aren’t any extra rooms”

“We could stay somewhere else..” Sam started to say but was interrupted.

“No! The reviews said this joint has great water pressure in the shower and I’m not giving that up!” Dean exclaimed passionately. Suddenly Cas cleared his throat,

“Well, I could um share a room with Dean. I don’t sleep anyway.” Cas’s face grew flushed and he shifted his weight on his feet.

“Ok, that works for me. I’m sick of sharing with you anyway, you snore real loudly.” Sam commented about Dean. Though Dean didn’t respond. His eyes had glazed over, staring at the wall deep in thought. He felt his heart in his throat as if he had been chasing a vamp. He gulped it down and felt a soft palm on his shoulder that pulled him away from his thoughts.

“Are you ok?” Cas looked him in the eyes.

“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine just thinking” Dean gave him a smile, and Cas’s head straightened once again out of its tilt. Both of the men were visibly flustered from the string of events that just occurred. Sam cleared his throat,

“Ok, wanna find our rooms and get some rest, I for one would appreciate getting more than four hours of sleep for once in my life.” The guys nodded, now aware of the time. Dean bunched up his sleeves till they reached his elbows, and looked at his watch. It was eleven pm, which in hindsight made sense since they had arrived when the sky was darkening.

They started towards the elevator and to the 4th floor. Dean had been iffy about not getting their usual spot in the corner on the base level. But Sam just poked fun at him saying,

“Dude quit overreacting, we aren’t on a hunt, and we’ve saved the world like 12 times. We can survive two nights in a room that doesn’t look at a parking lot.” But Dean had just rolled his eyes. Soon, he found himself following Cas into their room, and Sam walked down the other end of the hallway to his.

“Have fun you two!” Sam teased. The new roommates' faces reddened. Cas swiped the key card over the black square and pushed the door open.

“You have to be kidding me,” Dean said under his breath, yet still audible for Cas to hear. He tossed his duffel bag a few feet away from him and rubbed his hands through his hair until his nails dug into his neck. Before them, they saw a couch, a TV, other typical Hotel amenities (bathroom, mini-fridge), and one queen-sized bed. But, looking back on it, the man at the front desk hadn’t said there would be a second bed in that room.

“Dean, I don’t sleep much anyway, you have the bed and I can hang out on the couch.”

“You sure Cas?”, Cas nodded. Dean felt his eyes getting heavy, he tugged at his duffel and got out his Men Of Letters robe, Led Zeppelin T-Shirt, and his hotdog pajama pants. Meanwhile, Cas had found the TV remote and started channel surfing. He paused it on a show called Lucifer, which he had found very amusing. Dean walked back in to find Cas hunched over in front of the screen pointing at the different characters and saying how inaccurate they are.

“You having fun over there?” Dean said through a smirk as he drew the blanket toward him.

“Though it’s ridiculous, it’s also very comical!” Cas nodded to himself with a smile, maintaining his focus.

“Alright, well you two have fun, just turn the volume down a bit so I can sleep? We’ll come up with a plan for tomorrow in the morning.” Dean kindly shook his head.

“Alright goodnight, Dean.”

“Night, Buddy.”

--------

chapt 2 (not completed?)

It’s 9 am and Dean awakes to Castiel pulling the curtains open, letting the effulgent sunlight bounce around the room, filling Dean’s face with the brightness. He cups his hands by his eyebrows, grabbing at the covers while doing so. Once Dean’s eyes stopped ping-ponging and the static washed over, he grumbled “good mornin.'' and tossed around the clothes in his bag till he found what he called his “summer flannel” and shorts. Cas moved out from by the windows and shuffled over to Dean’s ill-made bed and began to meticulously tidy it up.

“Alright, you ready? Sam’s meeting us downstairs for bacon. Well, he’ll probably have some fancy-schmancy healthy smoothie, but I’m having bacon.” Cas turned towards the bathroom doorway where Dean was still a few feet away from, nodded to Dean in agreement, and walked towards their room’s door.

“Wow wow wow there champ, you’re wearing that?” Dean held out his hand in a stop motion, running over to block the door from him.

“Y- Yes?” Cas replied, unsure of the question.

“Okay, I know it’s your outfit and stuff, but it's the beach! it’s hot outside!”

“But, you’re wearing your summer flannel, and this is all I have.” Cas gestured to Dean’s extra layer and then proceeded to look down at his overcoat.

“Well, that’s different.” Dean said, slightly defensive, and followed up with “We’ll ask Sam downstairs, but I for one am starving”. Dean swiveled, now facing the door holding onto the round silver knob, letting Cas walk through first.

Once the two arrive in the food court, they find Sam already set up with, as his brother had predicted, a bottled smoothie and eggs.

“Hey! Bacon’s over there, Dean.” Sam’s head tilted in the direction of the food. There were lifted metal container-looking platters lined up each with lids to keep what was inside warm. Excitedly, he grabbed a plate and piled on his food.

Castiel joined Sam at the circular table.

“So, how was last night?” Sam asked, showing genuine curiosity.

“It was fine. I did what Dean refers to as channel surfing, and I read all of the brochures on the table.”

“Oh yeah? Find anything interesting?”

“Not particularly, I saw a couple of different restaurants, there is an ice cream place down the street though.” Yes, Cas didn’t need to eat, but recently Rowena cast a spell for him so that he could at least taste it without feeling every single molecule. He hadn’t gotten around to trying Ice Cream yet though, he was still getting used to the sensations.

“What’d I miss? Oh, Sam! Cas refuses to change his clothes. The son of a bitch wouldn’t listen to me.” He had put emphasis on the word “refuses” to get his point across. Cas rolled his eyes at him, recalling the interaction and being fully aware that there hadn’t been anything he would refer to as a refusal.

“Cas only ever wears that trench coat though. And you on the other hand,” Sam turned to Dean,

“Are wearing your summer flannel which by the way does not exist.” Sam lightly laughed as Dean bites dramatically into his bacon.

“Well, this is a vacation, remember? So, if I even see your asses walking to the beach without wearing bathing suits, or at least not long sleeves, I swear I will shoot you.” He waved his fork in the air as he spoke. The men in question, who had been sitting next to each other, locked eyes. The two, without talking seemed to come to the consensus that Sam would in fact shoot them in the leg. Sam himself had been wearing dark purple swim trunks and a T-shirt. Having spent part of the night reading about the town, Cas mentioned a nearby store for him and Dean to walk down to.

#original writing #deancas fic #mine #spn #work in progress so please don't hate me #deancas #destiel

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reinerispretty · 4 years

Text

like i do (sokka x reader) modern!au

hello :) this is part 2 to this lil thing i did a little bit ago! loosely based off of ode to a conversation stuck in your throat by del water gap! so give that a listen if u want :)

also...just a smidge 18+ ! all characters are adults

She pouted at him, her heels dangling in her hand. “I couldn’t walk all the way home,” She said.

Sokka chuckled as he brought her inside. “I wouldn’t expect you to.” He sat her at the kitchen table and went to the kitchen to pour her a glass of water and grab some Advil for the hangover he knew she’d have in the morning. “Didja have fun?”

Sokka, for lack of a better word, was fucked.

It had been a few weeks since (Y/N) had pulled him from his hole and forced him to go outside. Since then, she had spent nearly every day at his apartment. He didn’t mind. He welcomed it, really. Having (Y/N) around was a nice distraction from the heartbreak that had been crippling him from weeks. She brought her schoolwork with her during the weekdays and worked on assignments while he lounged around his apartment. He’d hover over her shoulders as she studied and asked that she explain what she was learning to him. Sokka had never been particularly interested in academics, but when they came from her mouth, he was completely entranced. She had a way of making even the most mundane things sound exciting.

On weekends, they got breakfast together in the mornings. Sometimes she would stick around for lunch, but usually she went home and spent some time to herself. “I’m just a text away,” She would say before she left, a bright smile resting on her pretty lips. And she stuck by that. More often than not, Sokka found himself calling her just because he missed the sound of her voice.

He realized what this looked like of course, and that scared him. (Y/N) had been one of his closest friends before he had started dating Yue and he worried that if things changed between them, he’d lose her again. So he kept it to himself, not even sharing his feelings with Zuko or Aang. And he definitely couldn’t tell Katara, because while she was his sister, she was also (Y/N’s) best friend and he had learned a long time ago that the two had absolutely no secrets between them. So Sokka was perfectly fine just hanging out with (Y/N) and enjoying her company.

That was, until the dreams started. He would shoot up in bed, sweat peppered across his tanned skin as he tried to catch his breath. If he closed his eyes, he would see the images again. Limbs tangled together, her nails pressing into his biceps as his head dipped into the spot between her neck and shoulder. Even though it was a dream, he could feel her breath against the shell of his ear and hear her soft little moans as her eyes squeezed shut. They had started out as being few and far in between, but recently they had become an every-night occurrence. When he saw her in the mornings, he would try his best to suppress the memories into the back of his mind. Some days it was harder than others.

So yes, Sokka was royally screwed, and this fact was confirmed further when (Y/N) arrived on his doorstep on a warm Saturday night, absolutely wasted. Her hair was tousled and her makeup was smudged, but as Sokka opened the door, he saw the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. She pouted at him, her heels dangling in her hand. “I couldn’t walk all the way home,” She said.

(Y/N) huffed as she adjusted the little black dress she was wearing. “Not even a little bit. Zuko was in a horrible mood.”

Sokka straightened up a bit. “You went out with Zuko?” He asked, trying to keep his voice level. (Y/N) hummed in acknowledgement.

“It was supposed to be like, a date, I guess, but who even brings their date to a club? It was too loud and he hates being around people, I don’t even know why he brought me there.” Sokka brought the glass of water and medicine to her, which she gratefully accepted. She popped the pill in her mouth and chugged the water.

“More?” Sokka asked. She nodded. “Maybe Zuko wanted to try something new?”

“Whatever he did, it was weird. We got into a fight.” She stood. “Can I borrow some clothes? I don’t wanna wear this dress anymore.”

“Sure,” Sokka said. He imagined that she’d come back wearing an oversized Water Tribe t-shirt and some pajama pants, but when he turned around he almost choked when he saw her. She wore one of his grey hoodies that was much too large for her. Its sleeves went past her fingertips and it came down just a little bit above her knees. “Are you wearing pants?”

(Y/N) giggled and shook her head. “Nope! I never sleep in pants.” She paused as she made her way to the couch. “I can sleep here, right?”

“Of course!” Sokka said, perhaps a bit too excitedly. (Y/N) smiled, hugging a throw pillow close to her chest. “What did, uh, you and Zuko fight about?”

(Y/N) groaned, tossing her head back. “He thought I was flirting with the bouncer and I was like dude, chill out, I’m barely even flirting with you!” She pursed her lips. “I think that made him mad, because he didn’t talk to me for the rest of the night.”

“You know how Zuko is,” Sokka said with a wave of his hand. “He’ll be fine in the morning.” (Y/N) patted the cushion beside her, and he sat down with a grunt. She cuddled into his side and rested her head on his shoulder. This wasn’t a new position for them, but Sokka felt hyper aware of every movement she made. She wrapped her arms around his.

“You’re right,” She said as her eyes fluttered shut. Sokka squirmed under her touch and cleared his throat.

“Do you...do you think you’ll go out with him again?”

(Y/N) shrugged. “Maybe. I dunno. I wanna sleep.” She whined as Sokka stood up and she flopped over on the couch.

“C’mon, you can have my bed tonight.” He took her by the hand and led her into his bedroom. It was small, but just big enough to fit a king sized bed. It went wall-to-wall and was covered in furs from back home. It was easily (Y/N’s) favorite part of the apartment, as she had told him this many times.

She crawled into bed and although he wasn’t trying to look, he caught a peak of her bum. He looked away quickly, trying to suppress the blush that was raising to his cheeks. She burrowed herself underneath the blankets and was asleep within seconds. Sokka smiled at her before grabbing a pillow and blanket and making a bed for himself on the couch. He fell asleep to the sound of the George Lopez theme song.

When (Y/N) woke up, she was heavily disoriented. It took her a few minutes to register where she was. Sokka’s bed. She looked at the clock on his bedside table. It read, 4:36 AM. And then, the dream came back. A murderer chasing her through a dark forest. She tripped over tree roots and her own feet, causing him to catch up to her. She woke up right before he plunged a knife into her heart.

Her heart was pounding in her chest and the shadows of the room struck fear into her, even though she knew she was being irrational. Quietly, she slid out of bed and tip-toed to the living room, where Sokka was snoring peacefully on the couch. “Sokka?” She whispered.

She walked over to where he lay and poked him with her finger. “Sokka!” She whispered again. He sat up, obviously confused. (Y/N) felt bad for waking him up, but she could count on her hands and feet times when Sokka had rudely awoken her, so she thought this was well-deserved.

“What time is it?” He asked, squinting to look at the TV clock. “Are you okay? Did you throw up? I have a mop in the broom closet.” He stood to go get the mop but (Y/N) grabbed him by the wrist.

“No, I didn’t get sick,” She said quietly. “I had a nightmare. Really scary.”

“Oh,” Sokka said, blinking the sleep from his eyes. “Do you want to talk about it?”

She shook her head. “I was wondering if you could sleep in the bed with me? It’s pretty big and I can stay close to the wall so we have enough space.”

“Definitely,” Sokka said. He gave her a sleepy smile and followed her back to his room. They both crawled into the bed, staying as close to their respective walls as possible.

“Goodnight, Sokka,” She said.

“Goodnight, (Y/N).”

When Sokka awoke the next morning, he was no longer near the wall. During the night, he and (Y/N) had traveled to the middle of the bed. Her head rested on his chest, her arm slung around her waist, and Sokka had one arm around her shoulders. Their legs were completely tangled. He listened to (Y/N) breathe softly as she slept. He could stay like this forever, he thought.

(Y/N) woke up a few hours later, rolling over and stretching her limbs. She nearly hit Sokka in the face. “How long have you been up?” She asked.

“A couple hours,” He said. (Y/N) furrowed her brows at him.

“Sokka! You should’ve woken me up.”

“But you looked so pretty while you slept.” Both realized what he had said after he said it, and both felt their cheeks get extremely hot. (Y/N) crawled to the edge of the bed and unlocked her phone. She sighed. “What’s wrong?”

“Zuko wants to get lunch today.” She turned back to Sokka. “I care about Zuko a lot, but I don’t really feel like seeing him today.”

“Then don’t.” She laughed. “No, I’m serious. Stay here today.” Sokka’s voice was oddly steady. He crawled over to her. (Y/N) hadn’t noticed it when she had brought him into the room last night, but he had changed into blue checkered pajama pants and nothing else. She swallowed. His face was so close to hers. Her eyes flitted down to his lips for a second before she looked away. She stood up.

“I might just hang out at my apartment. Could I borrow a pair of pants? I’ll wash them, I just don’t wanna do a fake walk of shame back to mine.” Sokka grabbed her hand.

“(Y/N)...” He started, but she closed her eyes tight and shook her head. She knew what he was about to say, and while it was something she had been wanting to hear for years, she wasn’t sure if she was ready. If he was even ready enough to mean it. “I want you to stay with me, please.”

“I can’t, Sokka.”

“Why not?”

“Because!” Her eyes shot open. “I know what you’re thinking, but I don’t even think you do. Something like this isn’t a joke to me.”

“Who says it’s a joke to me?” She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out.

“How do I know you’re being for real?” She whispered. “That you’re not just saying this to help you get over Yue?”

Sokka’s blue eyes searched her face, his brows furrowed in confusion. “(Y/N), the weeks we’ve spent together, I’ve been happier than I’ve been in years. Happier than I’ve been with anyone else. I’ve been in love with you for so long! Ask Katara!”

(Y/N) laughed. “You’re so dumb! Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t think you wanted to be with the guy who dropped out of college.”

(Y/N) grabbed him by the shoulders and kissed him. Sokka’s eyes fluttered shut as he wrapped his arms around her hips, pulling her down so she could sit on his lap. When they pulled away to breathe, he smiled up at her.

“So you’ll stay with me?” (Y/N) nodded, a shy smile playing at her lips. “Forever?” She laughed and rolled her eyes.

“Don’t push it.”

---

Tag List!

@beifongsss , @mdgrdians , @aroyaldarknessblr , @musicalkeys , @aimee1602 , @awesomelupe , @itsivyberry

#writing #fanfiction #atla #sokka x reader #zuko x reader #aang x reader #katara #sokka #zuko #aang #toph #iroh #azula #suki #modern au #momo #appa #woohoo happy!!

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feverdancing · 3 years

Text

when it rains we run, okay?

I’m cross-posting this on Archive of Our Own and Wattpad. enjoy.

Chapter Two can be found here.

Chapter One.

It was raining again. It pounded against the buildings. Large puddles in the dirty streets already pooling up.

‘Walking to work tomorrow will be a pain’ Nene mused to herself as she watched from her small tiny apartment.

She glanced around her living room, a small dingy couch against the wall with a rectangle coffee table in front of it.

It was right next to her, and just a few feet forward, a small old tv, that barely works sits, off. It was sitting on one of those antique dressers they, her and Hanako, got at some yard sale.

Antique? She huffs with a smile forming, Hanako called it that, when in reality, it was just really old and on the verge of collapsing.

Nene looked back out the window, drawing her gaze to the street below. It was busy, as it normally was at this time. Black umbrellas rushing past each other, she tries to see if one of the many people down there is him.

This was normal.

She opened the dresser and grabbed a book sitting in it, before sitting onto the couch she tapped the arm of it, a random melody off the top of her head.

She waited for Hanako to come home,

They’d eat what he had brought home.

Hanako and she would discuss what happened that day on that misshaped couch, and she’d watch him fiddle with the tv, trying to get it to work correctly.

Then they would both go to bed in their room that’s practically a large closet.

He would mumble facts about the stars as she drifted to sleep.

And in the morning she’d go to work.

It was fine.

They were safe here.

Ama- Hanako wasn’t going to get hurt, she wasn’t either.

They were going to be fine.

The rain wasn’t going to hurt them.

Rain is good.

Rain is why they are safe.

Blinking, Nene drew her head to the door, hearing the sound of it unlocking. It opened slowly, Nene sucked some air, her ruby eyes focusing on it.

Then, a black tuff of hair appeared. Hanako walked in, placing his umbrella in its stand.

He turned his head towards her, a childish grin on his face,

“Mokke! I missed you!” Hanako beamed at her, haphazardly throwing his bags to the side and moved to her.

Nene giggled, shaking her head in faux annoyance,

“Hanako!-” He pulled her into a hug, making her squeak, “- told you to stop clinging to me like that” Nene groaned out as he held tighter.

“No!” he whined, “I don’t want to not hug you”

She manages to free an arm, and brings it to his head, ruffling his hair.

They stay like that for a few moments in silence, listening to the thundering rain continue as heavy as it had been all day. Nene’s gaze softened as she notices the tenseness oozing off of him.

“That bad of a day?” she whispers to him as she sets her hand on his neck, rubbing softly.

He nods, loosening his grip.

“The rain makes it unbearable to not be at your side, Mokke,”

Humming in agreement, she closes her eyes and leans into him.

“We don’t need to talk about it,” her voice small, barely able to hear, a tactic she has used in the past, to give Hanako control.

Nene felt the same, the uncontrollable urge to be in control, to be able to make your own decisions. Besides, when Hanako was ready, he would confide to her about his thoughts.

He nods, lifting himself off her.

He bounced back into the normal.

“Ne, Mokke, I brought noodles,” his amber eyes gleamed, “And donuts and rice cakes for dessert, how about it?”

Nene’s eyes widen at the mention of dessert, they didn’t have good-paying jobs. They were scraping by as it was.

It really must have been difficult for him to not be beside her in this weather.

She pauses, before deciding it was good to treat themselves to dessert.

Nene cheers, “That sounds nice, lets start cooking!”

Dinner was nice, they joked about current events, Kou wrote an article about the abnormal about of rabbits appearing around the city. Tsukasa was of the news because he got stuck on a lamppost, Nene briefly wonders how that boy always manages to get stuck in situations that don’t seem plausible.

The rain continued.

Nene and Hanako decided it’d be best to retire early for the night.

Nene Heaved a sigh as she slid her arms through her coat.

Sneaking a glance out the window to see the light rain, she shook her head.

‘I wonder how long it’ll take to walk ’ Nene thought as she zipped up, grabbed her bag and, walked to her work building entrance.

Pulling her hood over her head she made her way into the busy streets of Kagome city. It had been about 2 years and 3 months since she and Hanako ran away, leaving everyone they had loved behind. It was the only way out. After what they- no what she had done, she couldn’t bear to face them all again.

The police were going to find them eventually.

Nene clenched the strap of her bag,

Blood coated the ground, A male’s body with a kitchen knife sticking out of his chest--

Nene ripped the phone from her bag and dialed Hanako’s number. Her knees were shaking as she moved quickly, frantically trying to find somewhere away from people.

Ring

Ri-

“Hello? Mokke?” Hanako’s voice cut through the phone, her hands were barely able to keep it to her ear,

“I-” Nene stammered, gasping for air, “Fuck, I-”

“Mokke? What’s going on.”

She shook her head violently, taking notice that the rain was falling harder,

“I can’t Hanako,” inhale “I’m sorry,”

“Where are you?"

Exhale

She stiffened. Her eyes darted around her, taking in where she was.

The rain was unbearable.

“...park… near my work.”

“Breath for me, I will be there as soon as I can be,”

Click.

The phone slipped from her hands, she barely managed to catch it before it hit the ground. She pulled it tightly to her chest, screwing her eyes shut. Nene took a deep breath, before looking around her.

She needs to find somewhere dry.

Spotting an abandoned bus stop, inhaling she walks to it and sits.

Nene shivered, looking up towards the gray skies.

The weather report said it was supposed to be light showers, not thick and heavy rain. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, she was supposed to be composed, collected, calm.

She messed up. Once again. Her ruby eyes filled with tears, watching the rainfall.

Yashiro Nene never liked the rain, it was always dour. Back in middle school and high school, she’d groan when she saw the rain, it meant she couldn’t work on her plants.

Ao-chan tried to comfort her, saying that it was good, the plants were being watered. And yes- that was true, she still could rid herself of the irritation the rain brought to her.

Amane and her would study together at his house on those days.

She’d moan and bitch about how she hated math and science and that she’ll never be able to wrap her mind around it. Amane would encourage her to at least try, and then promptly tease her. Making jabs at her unnaturally thick ankles.

She remembers that Tsukasa, without fail, always barged in to bug the two of them. He had good intentions, he didn’t want them all cooped up and grumpy just because of the rain.

Amane hated the rain because he couldn’t see the stars.

He’d always be mopey when she’d have to leave for the night, His dad driving her home. His mother had always made the best donuts, more accurately, the best desserts. She and Amane have always had a sweet tooth, didn’t they?

Now she doesn't like the rain for a different reason. It was raining the night she-

The night she had killed that boy.

It rained the night she and Amane made their escape. Too many questions, too much on the line.

Nene tensed up, hearing steps walking towards her

“Mokke? Are you okay?” Hanako’s voice broke through the rain.

Nene raised her head, her hair gently swinging, as she looked up at him. Her eyebrows furrowed slightly and tears in her ruby eyes,

“What am I… doing wrong, Hanako?” she whispered, remorse flooding her voice.

Hanako stood, silently watching her, his head tilted down towards her, and shook his head.

She released a shaky sigh, her hands gripping tightly onto her skirt.

Inhale

Exhale

Inhale

Nene tightly shuts her eyes. And shakes her head sharply.

“Please, Amane…” she trails off, choking on her tears

The mention of his name, his real name, makes him tense. He grits his teeth, grimacing at her before he sits down on the bench beside her.

He was always weak to her. Bending to her every wish and request. Completely and aware of his love for her.

Hesitating, he watches her trembling before he sets his hand onto her shoulder, pulling her into his chest. She sobbed onto his navy trench coat. Gripping to it, trying to tug him even closer.

“Nothing, ” Hanako mummers softly, Nene barely hears it through the loud rain and her gasps for air, “You did nothing wrong, you only did what you had to, Mokke,” Her new name, sharp coming from his mouth

Almost like he was… reminding her.

Nene froze, opening her eyes and looking at Hanako panicked,

“Hanako, ” her voice wobbled out, as aggressively pawed at her face, wiping her tears,

“I’m- I didn’t mean to slip up-” she squeaked out as his hand squeezed her twice,

Her ruby eyes stared into his amber ones, his glare softened. A small teasing smile forms,

“Mistakes happen, there’s nothing we can do but move forward, right, Mokke?”

Fervently, Nene nods her head, her eyebrows furrowed.

“Are you done crying,” Hanako asks softly, raising his hands to cup her cheeks

He rubs them with his thumbs, wiping the last of her tears as she nods her head with a small, albeit sad, smile.

“Let’s go home, and get you cleaned up starlight,”

#hananene #amanene #yugi amane #yashiro nene #tbhk #toilet bound hanako kun #jshk #jibaku shonen hanako kun #Yashiro murderer au #everyone is alive

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