#and yes i say this fully aware of how i tend to romanticize everything always

[darthkruge]

heyy Megan!! , I read a few anidala relationship analysis posts on my timeline and it really got my wheels turning. The more I read about them the more I feel as if they really rushed into establishing their relationship & from their character/personality stand point I feel as if they weren't compatible from the get go. I may be wrong but don't really think they loved each other, i think Anakin just idolized her and she saw something more in Anakin that there was idk if this is making any sense

hello!! and yes that all makes sense!! i’m gonna add my thoughts and i am going to preface this by saying that i don’t want people to yell at me because it seems like i might have an unpopular opinion lmao

i personally really like anidala and i think that a lot of their flaws isn’t to the fault of their characters. i shall explain :)

in my opinion, the prequels, which i absolutely adore if that’s not painfully obvious, could have been improved timing wise. espeically the first two movies. so i think that a lot of the rushing felt in AOTC is due to this. 

i know a lot of people are confused when it comes to their compatibility and honestly i get that. here’s padme, this amazing, intelligent, well-regarded, former queen and current senate member. and then there’s anakin, reckless, occassionally immature, young jedi. on paper, it feels out of left field.

and anakin did idolize her, espeically in the beginning. i’m not going to deny that. but i don’t hold that against them, either. listen, it’s normal for people to romanticize the person they’ve fallen for. especially when anakin fell so young. speaking from experience, especially when i was younger (i mean i’m still young but-), i had a tendency to latch on when i felt romantic feelings for someone. 

but anakin grew throughout the prequels! he had a lot of development and i think this was mirrored in his relationship. you can see in ROTS how he acts when he finds out padme is pregnant. instead of freaking out or wanting to run (as escapist tendencies are major signs of immaturity), he reassures her. he stays and he says that he’s happy and they’ll figure it out, together. so, yes, while the idolization happened at first, i think he outgrew it, at least outgrew it to the point where it would be like toxic and weird. because when you love someone, they’re gonna seem perfect, at least to some extent. it’s just how that shit works. 

and in AOTC, their romance felt juvenile at times. it was flirty, awkward, young. but padme was reckless at times, too. remember, she was the one who wanted to go to geonosis. it’s in moments like these that i remind myself that, yes, she was a bit older than anakin and definitely more mature, but she wasn’t this poised, perfect woman that people try to paint her as. further, she, herself, was also young! this was her first major love and she was trying to navigate those emotions, too. and while senators are allowed to be in relationships, they’re not allowed to do so with jedi. as much as anakin struggled with the secret relationship and not being able to talk to anyone for advice in it, padme did, too. i think she and anakin were more alike than people assume.

another reason i like anidala was because they had to put a lot of effort into their relationship. because it was secret and because they don’t initally seem like soulmate material, it wasn’t laid out for them. they had to fight, and they did. so i like them for that reason and i think it shows their committment to each other. they chose each other, repeatedly. that relationship wasn’t one they could have just stayed in because it was easier than breaking up. splitting apart would have been the path of least resistance but they fought for it because they loved each other. or, at least, that feels like love to me. 

perhaps they were both a bit blinded. but i think they were happy. and i’m a bit biased, i’ll admit; i love anakin with my entire heart and you can tell that he was happy with padme. because of this, i always rooted for them. i didn’t want to watch his heart break.

and i saw a bit of myself in padme. she was strong, she was kind, she was good. and she couldn’t control who she fell for, just like anakin couldn’t control his emotions. she might have seen someone who allowed her to let go, to be a bit reckless, herself, and who wouldn’t judge her if she wasn’t a perfect, mature senator all the time. maybe their inbalance allowed them to balance each other. 

again, these are just my thoughts. i just personally do like anidala and i tend to give them some slack. but maybe im just projecting because im a romantic at heart and cry when i listen to “across the stars”. or because i watch the prequels and, everytime, hope beyond hope that things work out differently and they get their happy ending. because they did want that happy ending. and they wanted it together, as a family. 

yeah <3

also i’ve been in school all day so i haven’t seen all the discourse but i scrolled through a bit and yeah i am aware that i’m probably the one with the unpopular opinion. and this is an opinion. if y’all don’t like anidala, that is 100% cool and okay with me, you are fully entitled to your opinion! if you don’t really care, also totally valid, you don’t need to have a strong viewpoint on everything! if you love them, awesome! as long as people don’t invalidate me or act like assholes, i reiterate that i am open to any and all perspectives. 

ok i wrote this on my break in 15 min so if it makes no sense, whoops! also ik they have flaws, i just saw a lot of people pointing those out so i decided to say why i liked them, bc, personally, i do! on that note i gotta go back to class!! see y’all later today <3

#anidala analysis #star wars analysis #character analysis #anon

[carylspookie]

This was not wrote by me but I had to share it 💔

Credits to addieanatomy on instagram.

its so difficult for me to understand those who never feel the slightest bit of sympathy for norma and those who blame norma for being a bad mother, for nurturing her child into a serial killer. since the beginning on the series, norma had been a whole person. she has a backstory filled with emotional abuse and neglect at the hands of her awful parents. and emotional and sexual assault at the hands of her brother. and then she gets married to an abusive husband with a son born of incest because of her brother raping her. and another son who blacks out and becomes violent to the point of murder. norman blacked out and murdered her abusive husband/his father and had no idea. and he continues to kill several ppl that come into his life. but that’s just a whole other discussion for a later date. it makes my blood boil when i see ppl want to hate norma and blame her for all norman does. they want to. hate norma for what norman is. in some ways. yes. i can see why we all should give her some blame. because of numerous events in her life, norma’s incredibly broken which doesnt make motherhood too promising for her. i mean. i would argue that the worst thing norma has done has been having a lack of understanding the causes and effects of her actions. and just having a lack of insight in general.

norma feels that nothing outside of her and her care is safe for her and her beloved child. but eventually, she starts to see norman as a threat, to herself and himself. okay and quite honestly. im surprised norma didn’t end up being the damn serial killer given her fucking upbringing and the experiences she faced… anyway. alright norma definitely allowed for levels of intimacy between her and norman that are pretty uncomfortable. and some ppl would say shes reluctant to admit that there is something wrong with her beautiful child. but in my opinion. i believe she was always fully aware of normans troubles and knew that theres was smth wrong with him. but like i said before. she didnt see safety in anything outside herself. bc shes so fucking stubborn! but she truly believed that she was the answer to normans problem and she thought she could help him and protect him. i think it is very harsh for ppl to classify norma and anything she does as a mother as being neglectful. or abusive.,..,. she certainly comes close but. she doesnt cross the line into that territory. and yes. she did tell norman things he shouldnt have to know as her son. like. the situation with her brother. but. if u think about normas role as a mother overall. within the context of her own life experiences. she tries really fucking. hard. to be a the perfect and ideal mother. and i believe her efforts should be applauded considering she had no good mother or father to have as an example for her parenting. this woman did whatever she could to protect her son. and when she realized that she couldnt give him the help he needed,... she sought out help. she went to pineview. she begged dr edwards or whatever to help her son. she did her best to get her son the aid he needed in order to not be a threat to himself, norma and everyone else.

i would find it absolutely ridiculous if u didnt feel an iota a sympathy for norma in that moment in 401. she even explained herself in that moment with dr edwards. she realized that she couldnt control what she thought she could. and that she was afraid of going to the doctors bc she thought they could take him away from her. and i believe that she didnt want him taken away bc he was the last bit of love she had left in her life. she had no one. she loved norman so passionately bc they were all each other ever had. its just. in that fucking moment with dr edwards. norma was showing so much of herself. so much honesty. which is smth she tends not to do. and she was revealing in that moment that literally. like all parents. she didnt really know… exactly what she was doing. she was just hoping that what she thought was best,.,. was good. and she had a moment of great fear that what she was doing was hurting her child. and she wanted to do smth else to change and make it better for both of them. all norma has ever had is good intentions. love makes u do crazy things. and she did crazy things out of the sometimes dangerous love she had for her child. but she cant take full blame for what norman is and became. being the parent of a psychopath is not gonna be fucking easy and a literal cake walk with a manual on how to succeed. all norma fucking wanted was a normal life for her and her son. and normal life that she never got to have throughout her childhood. and teenage years. and into her married life with both of her husbands.

she could never catch a fucking break. and she never did. she never. fucking. did. shitty childhood, 2 shitty marriages, a kid who resulted from being raped by her brother, a kid that was more than just mentally unstable. and her own mental wellbeing never treated was just. the fucking cherry on top. and even after she dies she didn’t even get peace until after norman died, considering he was lugging her dead body around. when ppl talk about norma, her mental health is not often in the conversation. but quite honestly. norma's entire mental state had to have been absolutely exhausting for her. she needed serious help. and she needed it well before norman even came into the her life. i think the only time she realized that… this isnt how normal people live. is when she was with alex... alex gave her a real glimpse into a type of normalcy she had never experienced. honestly. i would like to believe she eventually would have gone into therapy had she survived. and even if norman had stayed at the live-in hospital and didnt try to kill her, she and alex were not going to magically start living a beautiful, good life. she was going to need some serious therapy herself. and i just know she wouldnt bring herself to do that all by herself. i think if anyone could help her decide to help herself... that person would without and doubt be alex. norma truly was beaten down by life at every corner. anyone in her shoes with that kind of history and mental wellbeing would be in an unbelievable amount of pain on the inside. when thinking about how this all plays into her relationship with norman... i just think she loved norman to the best of her ability. but it was from a perspective warped by extreme mental illness, fatigue and injury of her own. to add to this exhausting amount of mental turmoil, came her exhausting love for norman. god i love this woman so much. she is everything to me.

This hit me so damn hard. People ask why I love this show so much and the reason is above. Vera Farmiga portrays Norma so brilliantly and I couldn't think of anyone else who could do it better.

Romanticizing the relationship she and Norman had is unhealthy yes, but she loved her son so much she would do anything to keep him safe. Norma Bates is a fucking warrior- fictional character or not.

#not my words #veraannfarmiga #verafarmiga #batesmotel #normabates #normanbates #i love this so fucking much

[jennifersylvesters]

on the air ( prologue )

Synopsis: Your radio program receives its first ever caller...only to complain about a certain segment. Little do you know that he’s not going to stop bothering you both on the air and off. Pairing: uni!Harrison Osterfield x reader Word Count: 3.1k~ A/N: i’ve got absolutely no knowledge about radio stations so i’m so sorry if anything’s wrong. also - laying all the foundation for this - probably will start to pick up in part one. as always, i appreciate any - if at all - feedback. aka please give me feedback.

There were certain aspects that made autumn reign the supreme season in your mind. From the colorful leaves that swirled around to coziness of the sweater weather, you lived for the moment the air turned crisp and autumn came to visit. While others considered January the start of a new change, your heart said that fall season signaled new beginnings. After all, autumn meant the start of a new school year which had just as many resolutions as a new year did. 

You knew it wasn’t a popular opinion, but you loved coming back to campus after break. Summer was great, but there was something comforting about returning back to the quad. Yes, of course lugging up all your belongings into your new dorm room was always a pain. Yet there was a satisfaction when you finally tidied up your room making it feel like a home away from home, a small victory that you relished.

And nothing excited you more about arriving back on campus than getting to see your uni friends. Even though it had only been a couple months, you would break into a sprint and crash into all your closest friends with a hug when you spotted them; the reunion may have been a bit dramatic, but text messages and FaceTiming didn’t have quite the same effect as seeing someone in person.

Coming back to campus also meant another year of being a radio host. What started off as a fun proposition during your university’s activities fair turned into one of your favorite activities. 

The concept seemed simple enough. The station managers explained that all you needed to do was submit a radio proposal on what you planned on broadcasting. They would show you how to work the equipment and because it wasn’t a particularly popular activity, the station accepted just about every proposal thrown their way. 

In the couple of years that you broadcasted, you mostly kept to yourself. Of course you politely smiled at passing DJs, but you didn’t branch out fully with them. It wasn’t as if you viewed them as competition so much as you weren’t sure what to say to them. The only people you really spoke with were the station manager and the engineers.

Most of the engineers who worked at the station were students, taking the job in order to enhance their resume. It also helped that the position was an easy gig. Rarely did things go wrong and if it did, they were tiny blunders that engineers could quickly fix.

Which is how you came to work with George. For the most part he kept to himself, occasionally commenting a one word response. You were well aware of how he tended to tune out your broadcast, focusing on homework. Yet he was a reliable fellow, quick to fix whatever mistakes arose without being asked and never casting blame on you. 

About a year into knowing George, you suggested the idea of interviewing him which he surprisingly agreed to. It shouldn’t have surprised you how poorly the interview went. The struggle to have interesting questions combined with his stoic personality made for a terrible segment. The only positive outcome of the broadcast was that you learned three odd yet interesting facts about George: he typically had terrible luck with the exception of technology, he hated his roommates, and he was Greek. 

By now you and George mutually understood one another. He got the gist of your programming, knowing that you still struggled with cues and always lent a helping hand during those difficult moments. You understood he was friendlier to you on the days when his roommates weren’t being as annoying as usual.

Unlike some radio presenters that attempted to broadcast new, fun and exciting concepts, you kept your proposal simple: half of your program would be a talk show while the other half would play whatever music interested you at the moment. “So basically like a regular radio show?” the managers confirmed when you pitched, to which you slowly nodded your head. Your proposal wasn’t extravagant, and they could work with that. You requested if at all possible to you go by a pseudonym which they had no problem with. The station managers understood you weren’t trying to be ambitious; it was the presenters who wanted multiple sound effects and crowded the booth worried them more than your show. 

You settled for taking the nine to midnight slot on Thursdays, not wanting to fight for prime times the way other presenters did. This meant you couldn’t party with your friends that day, and you secretly loved using it as an excuse. You assumed no one except your group of friends actually listened to your show when they weren’t going out, and you didn’t mind. At least someone was listening. 

The music aspect of your show came naturally to you. Every week you would decide on a genre and let whatever music peaked your interest play freely. While you knew it was expected to make a set playlist, you found the managers let you skate by on that expectation because it wasn’t particularly busy that late at night. 

You found the talk show aspect was more difficult than you expected. Speaking about different subjects for an hour and a half took more work than you realized. Still, you always managed to find a couple of topics that peaked your interest to discuss on your show. 

Your favorite segment that you always included was something you dubbed “Romance Report” where you discussed the adorable romances you noticed on campus. You gushed about the cute couples, vividly describing certain people and the gestures that made you believe how in love they seemed to be. While you didn’t personally know any of the couples, you chose to give them the benefit of the doubt that their relationships were going strong.  

After a month and a half of being back on campus, you finally found your rhythm once more with programming. As you gently bopped along to the beat of Kehlani’s “Distraction”, you situated yourself to start “Romance Report” once the song ended. 

This week you spoke about a certain couple you saw where the boyfriend lovingly tucked a dandelion behind his girlfriend’s ear before kissing her on the forehead. The two of them laced their fingers together as they walked away from your vision, but the interaction left you full of butterflies in your heart. As you jabbered on about how adorable the gestures were, the phone line lit up. You stared quizzically at the blinking button, almost unsure if it was truly happening. The phone line only lit up when it was just your friends wanting to chat with you, but they normally texted before actually calling the station. It took you by surprise when you answered and an unfamiliar voice spoke. 

“Hey. Uh, yeah, would you please just shut up about the couples on campus?” the voice berated you, irritation laced in their tone. Naturally you were taken back. The first actual caller you got was upset with your programming? 

“I-I’m sorry?” you stuttered, unsure of what was occurring. You looked up to see George looking up at you. Like always, he rarely had an expression on his face but it was odd for him to pay attention unless something interesting was happening.

“Listen” the unknown voice sighed. “I’m not trying to be that person, but hearing this whole “romance report”...Honestly, it’s idiotic.”

The caller certainly wasn’t one to mince words. The comment stung, but you tried your best to remain civil. “Well, you don’t have to listen if you don’t want to?” you slowly responded, not wanting to offend the caller. 

“Yeah, but my mate says the music you usually play is pretty good. Which, yeah, you do have good music taste. So can you just stick to that?” It sounded more like an order than advice, and you could feel yourself becoming vexed. 

“No. You know what? I think I’ll keep talking about this couple” you decided promptly. You heard the caller on the line groan. “Listen pal, just change the station if you’re really that upset.”

“Or maybe just stop doing this segment in general.”

“This is my radio show” you snapped. “I’ve literally been doing this since I started.”

“So I’ve heard” the voice grunted. “And some of the couples you choose are ridiculous, you know that? Absolutely ridiculous.”

“How are they ridiculous? You don’t know what you’re talking about” you scoffed. 

“A couple weeks ago you talked about some couple sharing a croissant near the library’s coffee shop. You went on and on about how they must share everything. Pretty sure he’s not sharing the fact that he’s cheating on her.”

Your eyes widened at this statement. “What are you talking about?”

“Not to call him out on the radio, but he’s probably not listening anyways. So the guy you were talking about: his name’s Marcus. Saw him hooking up with some girl that was definitely not his girlfriend last week at that bar, Checkers.”

You exchanged glances with George. Even for someone so stoic, you noticed how he raised an eyebrow at that statement. Clearly this wasn’t what he expected during his shift. 

“Y-You don’t know that” you stammered out. 

“But I do” the voice insisted. “Love’s a joke. People like you think that it’s this everlasting magical feeling when it’s not. It’s work and when people realize that, they leave.”

“You’re being cynical” you retorted. 

“And you’re getting played by the biggest con job of them all.”

“N-No, I’m not” you defended yourself, but you heard how weak your response sounded. 

“Stop living in a fantasy world, romanticizing couples like that. It’s not real.” The comment cut deep, triggering something in you that you weren’t particularly sure you liked. 

“I think that’s all for now” you dismissed as you cut the line. You didn’t wait for the caller to respond, done with his attitude. 

You fumbled around with the controls before playing something - anything - to buy you some time. Somehow you managed to start up Mahalia’s “Never Change”, letting her song kill three minutes so you could formulate what to do for your remaining air time.

Glancing up, you noticed George still looking at you. You swallowed nervously, unsure if you wanted him to say anything or not. 

“Christ. Thought that’d be one of your friends” he finally commented before taking a sip of his coffee and returning back to his studies. 

“So did I” you agreed, leaning back in your chair. A loud sigh escaped your lips before you sat back up and began queueing up songs, at least long enough for you to compose yourself once more. The caller’s comments rang in your mind as you tried to process what just happened.

Despite your consistent praising of love, you hadn’t truly experienced it yourself. While some of your friends had significant others in high school, you only had a handful of crushes that eventually fizzled out. You never bothered to get a boyfriend, believing you would eventually get one in uni. Yet somehow that expectation never came true. 

The last thing you wanted to focus on was searching for someone to date. The majority of your time was spent hanging out with your friends or studying anyways. Occasionally your friends dragged you out to parties and bars, but you believed that no serious relationship could start at these locations. So you politely declined the idea of hook ups or handing your numbers out to strangers who offered to buy you drinks. 

You found solace in your radio show, just enjoying the idea of love rather than putting yourself out there. Because you wanted something cute, something real. But it didn’t seem likely on your campus. 

Still, you enjoyed the fantasy loves in your life. They were attractive guys whose small acts of kindness fueled your fantasies of what love could be. 

There was Kendall, the barista whose eyes always crinkled happily when you thanked him for your drink. During freshman year you generously tipped and politely thanked him after a huge rush, never once pestering him about how long he took to make the drinks. From discussing the different types of roasts to asking about his day, you always made polite small talk with him. At this point he memorized your usual order and always had it prepared by the time you finished paying. 

There was Logan, one of the student librarians who always let you eat in the biography section of the library despite no food being allowed near the bookshelves. You suspected it was because you consistently visited the place that he gave you a free pass. But you liked to believe it was due to you helping him shelve books during a particularly awful finals week. Whenever you passed him on campus, he would nod in your direction and the two of you would share an understanding smile of the secret that you both kept.

And then there was Harrison, one of the students in your art history class. If there was one thing that made an eight in the morning course more bearable, it was getting to see him. You couldn’t help but steal glances at the boy whose disheveled hair somehow looked so perfect.

Two weeks into the class you curiously watched as he fumbled through his pockets before letting out a low groan. You were caught off guard when he turned towards you asking to borrow a pen. After a brief moment of rummaging around your backpack, you pulled a pen from the front pouch. As you began to hand the pen over, you spotted bagel crumbs scattered on his shirt. 

You held out the pen to him, nervously silent. But something told you to let the cute boy know about the crumbs. “Don’t mean to be rude, but you have a little mess going on there” you whispered, leaning in towards him. 

Looking down, he spotted the little bits of his breakfast scattered on his shirt. He lightly blushed before mumbling a thanks, wiping the crumbs to the floor. 

A week later as you studied on a bench in the quad, you felt a light tapping on your shoulder. You looked up to see Harrison smiling down at you. He made brief small talk before asking to borrow your notes after missing the previous class. You pretended that you hadn’t realized he hadn’t shown when in reality you glumly spent the first couple of minutes of that class staring at the empty seat besides yours.

You handed over your notes as he thanked you. Harrison paused, opening his mouth to say something but stopped upon hearing someone call his name. Both of you glanced around only to spot a boy a couple feet away waving his arm excitedly. Harrison nodded towards whom you assumed was one of his friends. “Well, I’ll see you in class” he said as he headed towards the cheerful fellow.

As the next week rolled around and you tiredly staggered in to the art history class, you were caught off guard by something you weren’t expecting to see: on top of your usual desk were your notes along with the pen Harrison borrowed weeks before and an iced coffee with two sugar packs on top of the lid. The kind gesture touched you, especially since you hadn’t been able to stop by your usual cafe and were in desperate need of caffeine. You tore the sugar packets into the coffee before stirring, thoughts swirling of how Harrison must’ve noticed your preference of coffee. You gratefully sipped on the beverage before the professor walked in and began the lecture.

By next class, you found yourself buying him a breakfast muffin. You knew he only bought the drink as a gesture of showing thanks, but it was too sweet and kind for you not to thank back. It took all your courage not to chicken out, but you placed the pastry on his usual spot before class started. 

Upon seeing Harrison enter the classroom, you whipped your head around and immediately pretended to focus on your notes. The sound of his chair sliding out indicated he was next to you, but you ignored it. It took a brief moment for him to actually take his seat, which you figured meant he saw what you left for him. You could feel his gaze on you, but you continued  to stare down at your notes as your face heated up. It wasn’t until the professor walked in that you finally looked up. 

The first couple of minutes you desperately tried to concentrate on the subject at hand, refusing to look anywhere but straight ahead. But a soft tap on your arm brought you out of your trance, and you turned to Harrison who had halved the muffin and was offering a part to you. 

Your face heated up once more as you politely shook your head and raised a hand to indicate “no thanks”. But there was something about his gentle smile and him gesturing once more for you to take it that you eventually caved in. 

And that was the start of your art history tradition with him. One of you would bring in a breakfast food and split it with the other. No words were exchanged except the occasional thanks. While you couldn’t help but think that it didn’t mean much to Harrison, it only fueled your imagination about the potential of falling in love with him. 

Out of all your fantasy crushes, you enjoyed your thoughts about Harrison the most. Perhaps it was because you spent the most time with him, even if it was during a two hour lecture course filled with silence between the two of you.

You knew about Harrison even before this course. He was one of the many foreign students on campus that people fawned over. Perhaps it was his personality or maybe just his looks, but there was something about him that had girls hooked. You occasionally saw him at parties, but girls always clamored over him that you hadn’t paid mind until recently.

Fantasies now plagued your mind of him being yours, him taking you out to bars not to get drunk but to show you off as his girl. You couldn’t get over the idea of Harrison laughing along with your mates while his arm casually wrapped around your waist. And that at the end of the night, the two of you would go back to his dorm room and cuddle, falling asleep in one another’s arms. When his alarm would go off in the morning, you’d bundle up in his sweater and stroll hand in hand to the art history lecture hall. 

But of course you knew it was just fantasy. Still, you loved the idea of love and scowled at the idea of love being a joke like your caller implied. 

#harrison osterfield x reader #haz osterfield x reader #harrison osterfield #harrison osterfield x you #harrison osterfield x y/n #haz osterfield x you #haz osterfield x y/n #harrison osterfield imagine #harrison osterfield fic #harrison osterfield fanfiction #haz osterfield #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fic #my writing #fic: on the air

[couchuretalk]

HOW TO GENUINLY STOP GIVING A FUCK (aka stop pleasing others)

Yes, we need a pack

I get it: being accepted by a certain group of people and having the feeling of belonging to them is something crucial for the human being. Even though some of us might perform the lonely wolf to the outside, we all crave to be a part of something bigger, something special, something which nourishes and gives us energy.

However, in our journey to find the group of people that really serves you, I feel like we tend to romanticize as much as we might do in the dating scene. There are clearly some parallels, right? We either get introduced to them by people we already know, meet them at the gym or at university. Like dating, we all get a first impression by someone who is new to us and whether we want it or not, we get a certain feeling about that person within seconds.  

Tools for (social) life

People make experiences, they meet several different people along their journey of life, build their own values and dreams. Out of all of this, they create certain pictures of how people, situations, and things are and that’s what they will work with. Imagine all their experiences, values, books they’ve read, etc. as their little tools to go through life with the most minimum of risk. It’s like a frame, built around us, our behavior and perceptions. Whenever we meet someone new, these little tools are working their magic.  

People will always perceive you in a certain way, no matter how much you try to please them in order to become a part of their group or convince them of anything you’d like to be. Another big lesson I have learned over the years: Stop being a people pleaser! Always be yourself, always be true to yourself and always speak the truth. That doesn’t mean to speak unfiltered and just say what’s on your mind without thinking, but to be honest in a gentle way. Especially in my early twenties, I always tend to please people as I am a sucker for harmony and balance. I hate fights. But with age, I have learned that I don’t want to be liked for someone or something I am not. I don’t want to be liked for a projection of someone I thought I had to be in order to belong. I want to be respected for the woman I am, for my own values and even my quirks. You can’t please everyone and more important: you shouldn’t. The only person who should always be happy with who you are and to feel comfortable around you is yourself.  

There is no such thing as being too much (for the right people)

I’ve always been a creative mind, a positive thinker with a deep interest in several fields, such as psychology, philosophy, fashion, and beauty. I love talking about topics that do not only scratch the surface and I am passionate in everything I do. My biggest fear has always been to be too much for others. Too deep, too talkative (even though I am a good listener, too), too passionate. Basically, just too much of everything. I always felt that I had to focus on only one (maximum two) interests to really being able to belong to a certain group. Philosophy and fashion? Doesn’t make a match, does it? Do you stop thinking for once? Do you have to think about everything? I was afraid of talking about my dreams because my so seemingly “friends” (and my family) would most likely talk them down. Sentences like “You have to do something normal in order to earn money and live a stable life” had been told me daily. As someone who is afraid of anything and everything, I tend to listen to them and to slowly believe what they said. Now I know: if you surround yourself with the people who really belong in your life, there is no such thing as being too much. The right people will support you, yet gently tell you when you might be a tiny little bit over the top (we’ve all been there). The right people celebrate your ideas and will brainstorm with you. They take an active part in your life in both – happiness and sadness. They won’t just be there if something negative happens to then tell you they told you so and neither would they just pop up out of nowhere, just to harvest the sweet fruits of your success.  

You attract what you are ready for. Energy is contagious

I highly believe in energy and I believe that we attract a certain kind of people in our different stages in life. If you feel unhappy with yourself, doubt yourself and aren’t aware of your own values and your worth, you’re more likely to be tricked by your own senses. You will more likely get into the state of pleasing others and to be treated poorly. You are sort of the kid in school who always tried to buy themselves into a clique with sweets. The sweets here, are the ways you try to please someone who, if you’re honest, might not even bring you any value in your life. You invest, yet don’t get something in return. Nobody would invest money in something they know wouldn’t bring them any value in return, right? Start thinking about your energy and time as an investment.  

Finding your group of people, your pack, takes time and even I am still struggling with this. It’s a progress, it’s a trial and error (for many of us, not for everyone) but the more we learn, the more we get into the right direction. With every disappointment and lesson, we get to know ourselves better, understand who we really are and what we really want.  

It’s right: 

You can’t fully control how other people receive your energy. Anything you say or do gets filtered through the lens of whatever personal stuff they are going through at that moment. Which is not about you. Just keep doing your thing with as much integrity and love as possible. Stay true to yourself and stop pleasing people in order to be a part of their group. If you must put on an act in order to be part of a pack, or just in order to keep a friendship alive, then this one isn’t for you.  

You might not always have full control over the way others perceive you, but you have control about your own time and energy. You have the power to be aware of your worth, your needs and the person you want to become. You are the most valuable asset you have. Invest in it.

xo

#philosophy #love #friendship #relationship #people #peoplepleaser #advice #social anxiety #anxiety

[pathfindersemail]

Do you think people like Reyes because he's the spicy Latino character? im trying to understand the hype. I kind of think people just like him for being hot brown boy with hot accent.

lol wtf you’re like the third nonny to ever ask me to speak for the entirety of Reyes stans and tell you why we like him. I mean, whatever answer I give will be personal and not necessarily a reflection on the community, so let me get started on something I can generalize: fetishization.

[*Note I have a small postscript answer anticipating Sloane Kelley’s characterization at the end of this post.]

Short answer: No, but… Long Answer: Yes, but… >both buts lead to: but racism is something we participate in regardless of whether or not we are anti-racist.

Basically, we consume and propagate tropes and images regardless of how we problematize it, and it’s really up to your consumption of Reyes’s character to determine your complicity in the fetishization that inevitably follows a character like him.

The Unintentional Lecture on the Spicy Brown Boy with an Accent Trope

I think you’d all be lying if you say you didn’t get a wee bit charmed by the accent when you first heard it. It’s subconscious; it’s ingrained in everything we consume; the person with the accent is exotic, mysterious, and jarringly different from the identities you formed in the creation of your protagonist.

Writers, filmmakers, and artists have constantly employed accents for characters to instill a very impermeable yet nonetheless alluring sense of “difference.” This is why George Lucas racistly gave the aliens accented English in the prequel trilogy despite having given them acceptable yet unintelligible (to us) alien languages in the original Star Wars trilogy. The bureaucrats starving Naboo for a trade deal get the haughty Japanese businessfolk accent; the slaver who owned Anakin and is “stingy” has a vaguely semitic accent; Jar Jar Binks with his “massah” lingo and incoherence eerily mimics the language white writers ascribed to black slaves in 19th-century fiction (as seen in Uncle Tom’s Cabin and Huckleberry Finn), and it’s weirdly reminiscent of Jamaican accents as well, so you can’t help but think of his “tomfoolery” in a racialized undertone. I’m sorry to call out George Lucas in this (I’m really not tho), because he isn’t alone. My point is that in the most blatant of cases, accents from real communities and groups are transposed onto alien or monstrous creatures in a move that simultaneously anthropomorphizes them (i.e. giving them voice and characterization) without granting them the dignity of being fully human and an American or British accented English seems to be the dominant mode of doing this. [Let’s not talk about how Bioware has handled accents for aliens in GENERAL in the ME Original Trilogy for now, because this is complicated]

On the flipside you can dehumanize human characters by giving them this same treatment of accents. See this post for an elaboration.

What happens when you give a human character an accent?

Oh all sorts of things. I’m gonna just drop it right here and lay it on y’all this foundational and phenomenal book called Orientalism by Edward Said. Being a product of the late 70s, updates and headway have been made in this mode of literary criticism. But basically, artists and writers have always romanticized “Eastern” tropes, cultures, and artifacts (including speech) in a way that hides the violence of imperialism while inundating the “motherland” with its stolen wealth. Writers loved them their muslin fabric, their jade jewelry, their olive-hued women; the sexual provocativeness of 1000 and One Nights. It was a way for the “West” to impose and project its imagination on cultures they do not and refuse to understand.

Spanish accents (whether from Spain, Latin America, and other spanish-speaking post colonies) are not exempt from this “Orientalism” despite its emphasis on the East. As some of you might recall, Spain was once part of the Islamic empire of Al-Andalus in the fifteenth century; Western Europe (cough cough mostly England cough cough) constantly ascribed to the Irish and the Spanish a “blackness” associated with “Moors” - no doubt a result of their trade dealings with Muslim cultures at the time. There is a long history of Spanish figures and characters being treated as malcontents - they are outsiders who fit remarkably well in their courtly contexts. [See this post for examples, but I also recall Spanish Tragedy as an early modern example]. 

So to sum up what I mentioned above, Reyes definitely is a product of all these tropes at work. As a prominent character, his accent does have a function. Everything you’ve absorbed via your good friend Cultural Osmosis Jones will subconsciously make you alert to the following descriptors: enigmatic, elusive, charming. I also think it’s interesting that he walks up to you as Umi is aggressively making her customer pay by brandishing a dagger. Your introduction to Reyes are therefore associated with: seedy bar fight and accent.

The complicated part of this answer is, as I’ve mentioned elsewhere, Reyes is nonetheless well developed and humanized. He does not flirt with you at every turn (contrary to what some people say), and he does not make advances if you choose the non-romance options for dialogue. He also expresses genuine vulnerability WITH you (so you’re not manipulated into pitying him). But perhaps the most human part of him (that arguably makes him more exciting than other Andromeda characters) is that he is unapologetically flawed. In the culmination scene of their romance, he either thanks you for accepting these flaws, or he makes a cheesy line about how you have him figured out.

“You’re the encrypted one.”

“haha… I was about to say something cheesy.”

“Say it.”

“Consider me hacked.”

We can say aw cute how cheesy, but what he’s really trying to say is that he likes you because, like any hacker, you mastered his code and can read them, whereas with others he maybe constantly misread to be what they want him to be (a smuggler, the Charlatan, etc). The sweeter option where he thanks you for accepting him is a more straightforward way of admitting the exact same thing. 

To return to the question, YES the accent plays a heavy part in hooking the player into his backstory (conscious or not), but Courtney Woods really did a great job psychologizing him into a very relatable and refreshingly honest figure whose irreverence makes for an interesting experience of a game that otherwise poorly handles ethical quandaries.

Skin Color?

There’s no question that people LOVE a brown character. The aforementioned “classic” Uncle Tom’s Cabin has an array of enslaved black characters, but the only ones who get a happy ending are… “quadroons,” which is a derogatory term for black slaves who are visibly mixed/mostly white (i.e. they pass as “a quarter black”) whereas the unambiguously black character like Uncle Tom dies horribly. But that was the nineteenth century. What has happened since? I don’t have to explain to you that when casting for a protagonist who is also black, Hollywood tends to hire light skinned black characters. Why? Frankly because people are racist and tend to criminalize dark skinned black people. “Brownness” goes along with the orientalism mentioned with accents; it hearkens to an exploited colonial wealth that speaks of exotic flavors. The description of darker skin as chocolate, caramel, or other foods grown from colonies and plantations relies heavily on the consumer/reader/viewer’s acceptance of brown as exotic.

Again, Reyes gets better and more humanizing characterization than his skin color and accent, but this history is nonetheless present in our consumption and imagination of him. And fandom has to be aware of this history if they want to avoid fetishizing a Latino character in their artistic works and contributions. 

So nonny, I think the trope is sedimented in our love for Reyes, but to not be able to see past it and appreciate the better parts of his development would be reductive and, frankly, just as racist as sidelining the few representations of Latinos we get.

Postscript note: Sloane Kelley is also a victim of all this baggage and history. As one of the few black women in the game, she was written to be disposed of and unliked. Even if you side with Sloane from the very beginning, she doesn’t get as much fun developments and moments with Ryder as Reyes does, which means Bioware deliberately made her not easily sympathetic. And unlike the original trilogy’s Aria T’Loak, she isn’t presented as competent given how her mob boss antics are shown as unnecessarily violent (it’s the first thing you encounter when you arrive at Kadara), and she is presented as tactlessly uncompromising whereas both Aria and Reyes are allowed room for a business savvy maneuver. 

I still argue that you should be given the option to broker a truce between the two. It’s so fucking shameful that you basically lock the romance over her dead body (which is why I rarely share gifs and images of the cave scene). It’s violent, and I really expected better from Bioware.

#Anonymous #Reyes Vidal #Sloane Kelley #Racism tw #Orientalism tw #tropes