Okay my ‘why Kipperlily hates Riz’ theory: She handed out business cards first day, he handed out business cards first day, she’s tiny, he’s tiny, they’re both obviously overeager teacher’s pet type A rogues, they’re like male and female versions of each other and it’s obvious to everyone. What would most high schoolers do, in that situation, seeing another kid so similar to your friend on the first day that they somehow BOTH made business cards to hand out at school? AND they’re going to be taking classes together? You say “Omg, he’s literally the boy version of you, you’re SOULMATES, you’d be perfect together!” And what do you do when your type A tight-ass friend acts embarrassed by that? You tease her about it more obviously. You think it’s just good natured ribbing, and she KNOWS it’s just good natured ribbing, but for some reason she gets unreasonably angry any time she sees Riz after that. Maybe even uncomfortable? But she KNOWS she doesn’t have a crush on him, so why does it bother her so much?
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Hi, I just wondered what your favourite part of the Fenhawke romance was? Like, a scene/moment that really made you fall more in love with him? I love your writing so much!!
Oh, that is very kind of you to say! 💗I'm glad you enjoy the things I've written. I've really been enjoying writing for this ship, especially the past few months c:
As for your question...
Man, that's tough. I have a hard time picking one thing---I mean, *gestures to all the fic* you know? But I can narrow it down to a couple of scenes/elements:
The fact that a romanced Fenris still calls you "my friend" even after the act 2 romance scene. This is just...the bedrock of their relationship to me. Yes, that night went very poorly (understatement, I know), but at the core they are friends and he trusts Hawke in a way he's likely never had the cause or opportunity to trust someone before. I believe he never stopped loving Hawke, and it was a matter of laying those feelings out and understanding them one at a time. Romantic love not replacing platonic love or eclipsing it, but building or twining together is just... *chef's kiss* that's the good stuff.
The moment during the romance conversation in Act 3 when you can see Fenris go from hoping (painfully hoping!) that there is still some way he and Hawke can be together to actually believing it will happen. There is a shift in his body language that I could watch (and...have) over and over.
The element of choice? This is not going to be coherent, but the fact that he is learning for the first time what it means to have options and preferences, and he spends a lot of time exploring and understanding himself...and after all of that, the thing he keeps coming back to is Hawke. I think it's gorgeous. A song with refrains of pain or fear and choruses of decision and hope. He's loyal to a fault, in many ways, but understanding how much of himself exists to share and then still choosing to share it is just...man. I said this wasn't going to be coherent lol, so there you are. "If there is a future to be had..." like he doubts its existence but he's willing to chance it for Hawke. Man.
But, honestly? I've played DA2 a lot of times and never romanced another character, even though I've played through multiple romance storylines in each of the other games. I can't shake the Fenris romance. Every time I open a new playthrough, I tell myself that this is the time I'm going to romance Isabela, and every time Fenris rips that dude's heart out and I just......alright, yeah. Okay. Here we go again.
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“You know, Angus, last time I was here—wow, it feels like forever ago—it was the night everything changed. The night we found Zym’s egg, right over there! And it was the night I met—”
It was impossible to say her name out loud.
Rayla.
It still hurt. She was still gone, and Callum had no idea if she’d ever come back.
Callum shook his head. He couldn’t think about her. Not now.
—TDP Reflections, Vol. 1, Inheritance
“I’m okay,” Rayla told her, patting her on the head with a gentle finger. “I’ll be better in a moment. It’s land, it’s got to stay still eventually. Well—it’s an island, I suppose…”
An island is land, said a voice in her head, so playful and cheeky she could almost see his smile.
Rayla winced.
Get it?
She shut the voice out. Rayla would not humor his haunting. Not today. Not now. She had come to Scumport stowed away in the belly of the Wanderer’s Maw chasing a shadow—and that shadow was close. She only had to find it. Rayla got to her feet.
—TDP Reflections, Vol. 2, Chasing Shadows I
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i do love the contrast between dean in 2017, throwing the black chair aside because he knows that fundamentally, what happened between him and seth was not about a chair to the back and cannot be fixed by it, vs roman in 2022, who breaks the chair on seth's back and comes back to hit him again when it doesn't fix anything.
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OMG I I wgehejej I was writing a post about some soulmate AU and and while writing it just occurred to me-
Both Jean and Marco lost their gear during Trost. They both got in a situation where a Titan was going to kill them while having nothing to protect themselves.
Marco was there to help Jean get hold of a gear and survive. Jean wasn't there for Marco aka why he died.
Omg. I'm not crying you are
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late Carlo and Moretti (during vinci-moretti war) are like Luca and Clemente to me. Moretti will never raise his hand on Carlo but! will he drive him into guilt in ways that are not direct? insult him in passing? convince Carlo that he's doing everything wrong, when in fact it's the opposite? of course
such a painful kick to Carlo's ego, it's unfair, he doesn't deserve it. and it's not a father-son relationship, it's a professional relationship and he can't say anything back & defense himself in any way
maybe Moretti's more favorable to Eddie in this period because he's more blindly loyal and Carlo feels he's about to explode
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Okay okay part of me has always leaned towards Ivan dying when he has to go up against Till. Because like listennn... Ivan ALWAYS being the one who's looking at Till, while Till is never ever looking back at him just has unbearable affect on my brain. So like I've always imagined him dying with the expectation that FINALLY FINALLYYY Till will truly LOOK at Ivan and really see him for the first time like Ivan has always seen him (Does this mean in a romantic sense? Potentially. Maybe. But most of all just finally seeing how Ivan feels about him and just having THAT realization), but also with the added gut punch that it took Ivan dying for Till to truly realize Ivan's feelings and aooughh. BUT flipping it around also ties into the same ooggily booggily affect that the first option has on my brain. Because having Till die could mean that from beginning to end, after EVERYTHING that has happened, he never looks back at Ivan. The tragedy and pain of that feeling, and you KNOWW that from the very beginning of the round that Ivan would know that if Till dies he'd die never knowing about Ivan's true feelings. Now is this all incoherent rambling that will likely not happen? Yes. But they are like little worms in my brain sooo
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A love song for anyone who tries
So there's a lot of posts about Zerxus being a damn fool, and that's fine. Some are mournful, some incredulous, and some don't blame him.
I've also seen a post or two about Zerxus being more clear-eyed than he seems, being clever with his words, negotiating for himself and his son, maaaybe his city, as selfish and ambitious as the wizards around him - and that's also fine.
But I wonder if there's something in between the naivete and the cynicism. Remember that Zerxus is the one with the visions; he has seen the end. He's the one who feels it coming. He's the one who knows what it feels like to stand in the palm of a god, to feel small and useless in the face of certain doom. Zerxus, paladin of the people, First Knight of Avelir. Useless.
What does a good man do in the face of unavoidable, terrible fate?
I think maybe, he just tries.
"I know you took your pain out on us. Don't you forget the kindness we're capable of. We're your children too."
That doesn't sound to me like a total lack of understanding of what Asmodeus is, but it doesn't sound like an arrogant attempt at manipulation, either. It sounds like a desperate plea. What else would you say to a god, if you had once chance to speak to one, before they tried to wipe your people off the world? What words could you justify, knowing one day you would answer for them? That you would have to explain them to your husband, or your son, in the afterlife?
What could you do but try?
The best weapons Zerxus carries are his compassion and his conviction. He is a paladin. A fighter. He will not lay down his arms in the final hour. He cannot. Hopeless though it may seem, he's giving it everything he has, the greatest strength he can muster.
Let it not be said that Zerxus Ilerez didn't try his damndest.
What else is there to do?
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""desiblr"" is disgusting
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Season 3 Aethelwold is so Macbeth coded
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oh apparently im in the minority for thinking todays episode was pretty great actually
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me remembering that as of s5 callum following in viren's foosteps is also the only thing, narratively, that encompasses and enables him to likewise break free from aaravos' hold/control
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so much of the most compelling bits of ofmd are about abuse and community. like i think we can all agree the best run of episodes is 1x08 to 2x03. most of the major characters are both victims and perpetrators of abusive behaviours depending on shifting power structures and how they move through the world. and so much of the fallout is about how they deal with that as individuals and as a queer community crew.
izzy dying isn't grim because he's uniquely queer, or troubled, or disabled in a cast full of queer and disabled characters. it's grim because it flattens the dynamic of characters (izzy but also ed and stede) who are all reckoning with their abuses of power and how they can renegotiate their spaces within communities. sometimes that means leaving - stede had to leave his wife and that was dealt with well. but i want stories about harm within community that doesn't end with a redemptive death, or running away to start an inn.
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