Hmm. It’s now 5:30am. I’m now actually ruining my sleep instead of just lying here trying. I should put my phone down and stop reading but everything feels wrong. I need to be awake earlier than usual tomorrow. Feels like self destruction can I get a hell yeah
On the stoop, she’s still wearing her prom dress. It’s after eight and it’s dark. Through the window in the living room, she can see her brother crouched over his homework, doing his best not to watch her get soaked in the rain. Her mother, she knows, is just inside in the hallway. But Jake told her he’d be there to take her. Not that she could go like this now, not with her mascara running. She can’t see any headlights on the road even standing up on her tiptoes in the driveway. Jake called and swore that he’d be there. She really wanted to go.
When men talk in that soft, light, Nonthreatening™ voice, ough,, thank you sir
my tros hot take over a year after a movie is that rey palpatine wasn’t necessarily the worst way they could’ve gone (like it’s ridiculous but in the endearing way that all star wars is kind of ridiculous) but the way it’s revealed by kylo just being like “you’re a palpatine” in the last movie of the trilogy is still really funny to me for some reason
There’s fanfic discourse on Twitter tonight because some random woman I don’t know had a Bad Take™️ and it makes me want to write however I am in an inexplicably bad mood and I have to go to bed soon or else my tomorrow will be just as bad.
But I want to prove her wrooooonnnngggg.
I meant to answer this last night, and uhh…had such a chill night that I was asleep by like 10. But! My journey as a writer over the years. Honestly, I don’t know. I started writing in earnest for fandom when I was about 19, when Glee happened to us all, and I don’t….know that I prioritized things any differently, so much as wasn’t as good at doing what I do now? Like I was a lot less experienced, both in life and in writing itself, and I think that had a huge impact on how well I could craft character voice and dynamics. I’ve just sort of slowly been creeping my way toward doing it the way I want to–and I’m certainly not there yet; might never be, being something of an artistic perfectionist–over the past 12-ish years. I think my reason for writing has even changed; when it was Glee, or Pitch Perfect, or even Orphan Black, I think I wanted to fix things that didn’t feel right, or feel enough, in canon. With Bly? I’m mostly writing because these characters feel really real to me, and I want to steal more time with them. I want to keep them alive for myself–and anyone reading–a little longer. I think that’s the newest facet of my writing, honestly; it’s the first time I’ve ever processed playing in a sandbox as “I miss them, and I want them to have more time.”
In terms of writing smut: I think I used to come at it with a lot less grace. I recently thought, “Huh, this Control series is the most recklessly sexual thing I’ve ever written”, and then happened to scroll back through some Glee and Orphan Black pieces and went, “Oh. Oh dear. That’s not true at all.” With how I write it now, I tend to care a lot more about what’s happening with the emotional state of the characters and what the sex says about them/their dynamic, and a lot less about writing up a play-by-play for the sake of eroticism. I also try to keep clear of some kinds of phrasing, at least with this particular set of characters; you’ll notice I don’t use a ton of euphemisms for body parts, or whatever, largely because the more real the characters feel, the weirder I feel describing their bodies in unnecessary detail. I’d hope the scenes are still getting across a level of passion and interest and all, because that’s…what they’re there to do, but I would also hope it doesn’t feel like “the author just wanted to see them bang in new and interesting ways”. It’s just not really what I’m trying to do. The hot factor is, in writing, secondary to the introspection and emotional resonance, which sounds…truly pretentious as fuck, but no less true. Character always comes first, no matter what kind of story I’m writing, and I try really hard to make that clear.
Which is also a part of where the balance comes in–there are just some requests that are made that don’t seem to suit the characters as I’ve translated them in my head. For instance, I don’t know that I’ll ever write a hardcore jealousy sex scene, because it doesn’t fit the way these two women relate to each other in canon. I wouldn’t say I feel pressured, because…if I take something on, it’s because I want to explore it. No one is making me write the way I’m writing. But there have definitely been prompts–both smutty and perfectly innocuous–that I’ll probably never fill, because the version of Dani and Jamie living in my head (and, after 40-something stories, they are very much a translated version built by repetition of both watching and writing–I try to get the voices as right as possible to canon, but in the end, this is a “copy of a copy” kind of thing) don’t suit said prompts. I feel that way about people asking for bondage and jealousy, and I feel it about people asking me to write them as parents or with pets. It’s interesting combing through and seeing “okay, I see why you asked for that–the way I see them, it doesn’t fit.”
This is just a thought I was having all morning: Sam Winchester is the best Winchester brother. I would die for him. He deserves better than he gets. #LetSamBeHappyForOnce2kforever.
i love when fans block me for their hatred & pure vendetta towards alysa and me calling them out & defending her from those asshats, they’re all cowards, and i mean each and every one of them!
and, they know i’m right, and they’re wrong. plus, their excuses as so awful, and not able to be backed up with anything, and it makes me laugh, yet feel sorry for them, they try to find just any little thing that they can to hate on this kid, they are all sick in the head. they can leave, no one needs, wants or claims them, and their sorry excuse of a persons’ ass(es)… alysa does not need them, and kamila and any other skater wouldn’t aprove of this behavior, they would be disgusted and not want you as fans, just saying, and it’s kinda like how nathan & yuzu are when people attack the other, they always defend on another or try to divert the situation to stop the hater or their negativity, and i love to see it, and as i said in one of the responses!
ps, you all should read my tags because i ranted more there! i feel much better now, and i hope you all do too, bless you all, you deserve it bbys!
alysa gain so many fans from this, so this was a win for us and a loss for them, alysa mf liu world domination will come, i know it will, and they’ll be sorry, and eat their words one day, and i’ll be like, “remember when you said that shit bs, you fake fan?” i will never forget! they are clowns!!!!!
Thanks Kayla :)
I know I made a post like this the other day but it would appear Dr. Loomis stans also have a really hard time living with the fact that I personally disagree with them and hate the man.
just wanna gently take people by the hand and help guide them back to a life that is good and worth living. I want to remind them that they matter and that they are more than their anger, hurt, and emptiness. I want to help them see that the world is a beautiful thing and that there is good to be done and experienced in it despite the pain.
Oh no, but Mor is an absolutely EVIL person who “lied” about her abuse and “let” the IC “abuse” and “assault” Eris! /j
Whatever. Rice, eris and cassian are all cut from the same fucking cloth. They’re all men who’ve harassed or abused women. Being vehemently anti rice is worth fuck all if you’re just going to go ahead and find another awful male character to stan.
the most embarrassing thing about being someone over 30 on tumblr is hitting post limit. like.. lmao
I have two main moods when I’m depressed:
1. *wallows in self misery under pile of blankets having an existential crisis while eating chips and staring blankly at the floor*
2. SCREW THIS IF I CAN’T MAKE MYSELF FEEL BETTER I’M GONNA MAKE OTHERS FEEL BETTER *paints rocks with positive messages to hide around the neighborhood, writes cards, comments on and reblogs a ton of art and writing*
Those “its okay and normal to not have had any romantic/sexual experiences before, even in your 20s/30s/forever” used to be really comforting to me. But now they kinda bum me out MORE for some reason??? Like YEAH it’s okay and it’s fine and I know that’s not the only important thing but I Crave Intimacy and Attention, and the idea that “its okay/you’re not some kinda freak for not having had any experiences” is like Okay but I’m lonely as fuck and still pretty sure I’m unlovable
A girl with short black hair and black eyes whimpered as she tripped over, landing on the concrete below her. Under her pastel pink dress, she was riddled in bandages that peaked out her clothes. She looked bruised, even to the point that one of her eyes was surrounded by bandaging as well. A single black tear fell down her cheek, but she immediately wiped it away. “This sucks.” She’d say. “Everything sucks.” However, she stood up and attempted to dust off her dress and knees with her hands.
He had just been carrying on, a backpack with a single broken strap was tugged over his right shoulder. It was heavy with a number of supplies but the zipper was still in place, keeping anything from falling out. The rest of his wears were in no better condition. However, his skin was spotless of any visible flaw or scar. Porcelain pale with snowy white locks that framed his face and swayed gently in the chilly breeze. Dusk was rapidly approaching with the sun just dipping over the horizon when he heard the soft scuff of feet, followed by palms smacking into concrete. His gaze swept over just in time to catch the brilliant pastel colors of a dress and female gathering herself again.
“Ah—” He announced himself without any immediate introduction. “—I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you there, are you alright?” If he had paid closer mind to those present, rather than what might be lurking in the shadows or the simplicities of life, he might have been able to catch her fall. As she regained her composure, he glanced around to see if she had dropped anything in particular. His nose picked up on a strange scent but he couldn’t fully depict what it was. All he knew was that it derived from her hands—“Did you need any help? I can walk you to where you’re heading?” He offered, unsure if she might need to sit to catch her breath, regain consciousness, or perhaps she needed something to eat… he didn’t think she merely tripped.
the crop cha/wis dynamics are so much and for WHAT
My muse(s): Alastor or Vox!
Do I know your muse(s): yes | no | a little | tell me about your muse
Setting: our verse | my verse | your verse | modern | alternate universe | other (default to canon but im absolutely open to discussing specific aus!!)
Pre-established relationships? yes | no | depends on the relationship
Possible relationships: friends | classmate | co-worker | roommate | family, real or adopted | dating or blind date | married | friends with benefits | unrequited love | lending a hand | teacher - student | rivals | allies | partner-in-crime | enemies | protecter - guarded | business partners | spy - infiltrated | manipulator - manipulated | star-crossed | first meeting | other
I’m in the mood for: fluff | angst | horror | romance | humor | crime | hurt / comfort | action | supernatural | slice of life | crack | dark threads | light threads | any genre | multi-para | shorter para | one-line | any length | plotted threads | unplotted threads | other
Feel free to: message me ooc | message me ic | tell me your ideas | write a starter | answer one of my opens | send a meme | reblog this with your preferences–let’s find common interests!
my sister to the rescue