#and you can’t control how you feel

[kairospy]

When i say James Potter is the little spoon I mean Regulus hates having his back turned to anyone, hates having people where he can’t see them, hands on him while he’s unaware, but James loves being held at any given moment

Movie date? He’s pressed against Regulus’ side. Hanging out with Sirius? They’re essentially holding hands. He will plop down on Regulus’ lap randomly and all Regulus does is change the book to the other hand so he can play with James’ hair

#rbjp #as in by being the big spoon Regulus can control how much touch he offers #and you can’t convince me James Fleamont potter wouldn’t prefer being the litte spoon anyway #and regulus pressing kisses to James nape- #yeah no James wouldn’t give that up for shit #and Regulus would love the feeling of getting to hold onto James #this man who never stays still for a second postivekymelting the moment Regulus’ arms are around him #and James would feel so *safe* #having this guy who’d snap someones neck for breathing wrong at his back? #he’s never felt (and been) safer in his life #jegulus #james potter #starchaser #sunseeker #marauders #regulus black #regulus x james #regulus black x james potter #dead gay wizards #slytherin skittles #the pantheon #sirius black #r.a.b #marauders headcanon #james potter hc #regulus black headcanons

[starbuck]

the thing is, i love The Narrative, but i also absolutely adore a truly character-focused tragedy where everyone’s downfall is caused not by larger narrative forces, but by hundreds of tiny decisions made by characters who, despite their best efforts, just suck.

#like. The Narrative is inherently a factor in every story because that’s how fiction works #there is ALWAYS a writer pulling the strings #but sometimes characters are written SO well that you legitimately forget #and you can just focus 100% on them and their choices #most characters can’t make choices but some characters are so good that they can #i can only think of a few examples of this - but it is real and i stand by that #there are stories that were created plot-first #where the author had a plot in mind and then made up characters to play it out (who are controlled by The Narrative they were forced into) #and then there are stories that were created character-first #where the author made up some fucked up characters and then let them loose to see what they would do #and THAT is some good stuff #and like. tbf i have ABSOLUTELY no idea if the story i’m thinking of was created that way - but it just feels like it #because the characters feel so much like real people #it’s fucked up. i love it

[ariesbilly]

Not to be sad on main but like if in season 2 timeline after the fight at the Byers steve planned this whole scenario to publicly humiliate billy and get back at him and finish their rivalry once and for all

But once it’s been executed billy doesn’t look angry and embarrassed like Steve was expecting. He just looks…really sad. And still embarrassed but not in any way steve can enjoy. He looks scared. And what Steve doesn’t know is billy had gotten into a real bad fight with neil earlier that day that already left him shaken and downtrodden so this hit him at the absolute worst time and there’s no glory in it for steve when he sees billy sneaking off to the bathroom or his car or wherever. Is pretty sure he saw tears sun the guys eyes and Steve thinks he SHOULDNT feel sympathy for him after what he did to his face. Fuck that guy. But it doesn’t stop this remorse eating away at his chest, pulling him in billys direction to check on him

#harringrove #and then of course billy puts up the angry front and curses steve out and Steve gives in for a second before remembering how stupid this #all is and don’t you just wanna call a truce billy? be done with it? what does any of this even matter? #and the thing is steve doesn’t even KNOW how much this matters #how popularity is all billy has. his image. it’s the only thing he can control #and he needs neil to know he’s not a bitch and he needs everyone to keep off his ass and not realize the ladykiller doesn’t want ladies at #all and that billy needs to be around steve all the time otherwise he feels like he can’t breathe and #he of course can’t tell Steve any of this #but a truce…could be good too #MAYBE them being at each other’s throats isn’t the only option for billy to get close #maybe they can try… friendship 🤢 #and of course maybe it will grow into something more 🥰

[puppyeared]

I made a lmk oc

#they’re supposed to be some sort of experiment to see if people could recreate Sun Wukongs stone egg. the goal was to make a more controlled #and tame version using carved wood and cultivation. but eventually they got worried about it becoming too powerful and scrapped it #eventually they come to life and live in the abandoned temple they were built in #their bottom half is made of wood because when they came to life their creator/s left them unfinished when they scrapped the project #they had to carve the rest of their body out of hunger and frustration because they couldn’t eat or move much by crawling on their top half #this is also why they spite their creators and hate irresponsible creation. because of abandonment issues and feeling like they have no #purpose or direction in life #their power is also very limited to due being man made since they were originally a wood carving #meo gave me the idea but one reason would be because they’re half finished. the sculpture was still half stump so it was completely untouche #that half can channel power in its raw form but the other half cannot once it’s been carved by man #so technically they could have the same level or potential for power as the stone but that was dampened #the other thing is how they were created to be a duplicate or recreation of a stone monkey and a celestial looked at that and was like #‘we’re not doing that again’ LMAO #i think the case of them carving their own legs doesn’t take away their power though. that balance was made #before they came to life so carving the legs or not can’t affect it anymore. like making a cake and slicing it #their energy levels are also naturally low because of that so their movements are sluggish and they aren’t very active overall #constantly lying in the sun to charge their batteries and get some stuff done. just like me fr #I actually don’t know what I’m gonna do with this character besides Put Them In Situations with other ppls ocs.. so if you have #a lmk oc you have been warned /lh /j #I wanna make some backstory art for them though.. maybe even the animatic treatment if I can get through dear wormwood which is 25 #SECONDS OUT OF 3 MIN BTW #doodles #Lego Monkie kid #lmk #Monkie kid #lmk oc #monkie kid oc #myart #my art #xin ya

[dykedvonte]

Ulysses obsession with the Courier is a special type of sad to me cause the Courier’s part was so important but so unwitting. They had no idea what was in the package they delivered and neither did he. Neither had an idea of what it could’ve done and the Courier was only caring out their job (mind you the Courier could be killed via notes in the express contract if they don’t). To them it was just another regular delivery to the divide and one that they likely thought would help, just like all the ones before.

It’s so tragic for Ulysses to hold so much ire to the Courier when it really was the case of it could’ve been anyone. Anyone could have delivered that package but they did and so he focused the blame on them and it destroys what he is trying to instill in the courier on a fundamental level.

#like yeah the courier delivered the package but in the end that’s a job #any random courier could’ve delivered it especially since we know in the past the factions were farther apart and this travel was a smidge #safer but courier six got it and this Ulysses blamed them #like I don’t care much for Ulysses because I think lonesome road embodies don’t shoot the messenger at it core #and what people focus on doesn’t focus on the fact that in the bigger picture #everything went wrong because two factions were at war and at some point the codes would have been delivered #and the divide destroyed cause with how close it is to NCR territory it would of been found #like there is an inevitable and too many people treat Ulysses as if he knows more or is more aware of the idiosyncrasies of conflict #when he’s like fundamentally flawed just at the standard of being a legion apologist STILL and just how focused he is on one persons #involvement cause yeah choices matter even the small one but I think Veronica’s quest says it best with a line from the courier #you can’t control what they do #like the courier couldn’t and can’t control what they deliver and yet it’s got them in hot water multiple times #like do you think they enjoy being shot or knowing they are indirectly responsible for activating the annihilation of a community #to me it’s hypocrisy to be willing to end the world or one world to prove a point and whatever argument made that only military factions #suffer forget there are innocent civilians suffering that had no part and Ulysses is no better than the Courier #I don’t like devils advocate and a lot of the dlc just feels like that but idk I know people love it but the depth is just not there for mr #ulysses fnv #fallout #fallout new vegas #courier six #the courier #lonesome road #the courier has very little personality outside what we give them but some lines and delivery paint a picture #like uhhhh undertale deltarune rules ig

[theswedishpajas]

#my art stuff #comic #beetlejuice #cartoon #toonjuice #lydia #toonlydia #aromantic #aromatic #lgbt #digital art #wordplay #he’s somewhere under the umbrella maybe #he’s not gonna bother with a label tho prolly #he just kinda feels however he feels at any given moment and that’s that #please don’t tag as beetlebabes #I can’t control how people see this or engage with it but I’d appreciate if you didn’t tag this as such

[bumblebree1903]

Edit: Please checkout my reblog, I didn’t articulate myself very well in this and come across as a massive dick. Sorry about that, seriously. I am legitimately curious as to the reasons behind the positive Ascended Astarion interpretations/what in the text makes people feel that way.

Okay I read something about this over the weekend and it’s been bothering me since because I feel like people are missing the point.

People were upset it felt like BG3 was forcing you into the role of a victim if you ascended Astarion during your romance. They were insistent they and their character HAPPILY and WILLINGLY ascended him and would be more than happy with him and his behaviour after. Which, don’t get me wrong, can be true.

You can very happily ascend Astarion and give him the power he wanted and support him throughout. It doesn’t stop the fact he’s going to abuse your character and that your character is going to become a victim. Because that’s the point. That’s what the whole deal with the characters are, finding freedom from unhealthy relationships of some kind. Astarion’s specifically touches on the cycle of abuse. Cazador abused Astarion and the other vampire spawn, and maybe Astarion isn’t making you eat rats and locking you in coffins, but he’s still abusing you. He will always have power over you if he ascends and he will never treat you as or respect you as an equal. He will isolate you and ignore your wishes and treat you as an object, because ascending him continues that cycle. He doesn’t respect you if you ascend him.

I’m not faulting anyone that ascends him, it’s not something I would do but that doesn’t mean you’ve done a bad or are “playing wrong.” There’s no wrong way to play the game, especially if they give you the option. I am saying, however, that regardless of how happily someone ascends Astarion and how much they support it they’re still going to become a victim. Even if it’s not right away, it will happen because ascending Astarion continues the cycle of abuse, just in a different form.

#i don’t know if that made sense #just like i feel people are missing the point of his story and the consequences of his ascension #if it’s a kink for you that’s FINE #it’s just not the story they’re telling #i’m also not saying larian’s writing is PERFECT or anything #or that the frustration of not FULLY having control of the character is invalid #alas it’s a consequence of the medium #HOWEVER you can’t just dismiss the fact that doing astarion’s romance and ascending him DOES that #it DOES put your character in an unhealthy if not abusive relationship #regardless of how willingly they ascended him #bg3 #bg3 rambles #bg3 astarion #bg3 astarion ancunin #bg3 ascended astarion #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate iii #baldurs gate astarion #badlurs gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 astarion

[goldkirk]

excuse me for a while guys. tonight I just now figured out that people ACTUALLY like me. Like for real.

#I feel so stupid. #and then I’m also so excited that I can feel stupid about it a little bit now #because that means I’m finnnnnnnnnally shifting perspectives on it #slowly #oh my god. some of you people LIKE ME. I am SOMETIMES LIKABLE. genuinely some people like me and don’t just obligation do it #what. what #what. #I daydreamed about having lots of friends. I daydreamed of getting to control my body and feel my feelings and move and be how I needed to #and I’m finding out now that people aren’t just pretending to like me???????????? #INCREDIBLEEEEEEE #I’m so excited for this to be true #I can’t consistently feel like it is but it’s already way more than I felt a few hours ago so!!!!! #god. LOOK AT THE POSSIBILITIES #I AM ACTUALLY SEEN AS SOMEONE WORTH LIKING #this is like magic is starting to come back into the world. literally #personal #trauma evolution

[ekuboo]

Needle felting my boy……

Process breakdown (disambiguation) in tags :)

#i’m out of control #I have no idea how many hours I spent perfecting his head shape #I have to stab him because I love him 😭 #i calculated it… #360 STABS PER MINUTE #6 STABS PER SECOND #21600 STABS P E R H O U R #I’m not stabbing at full speed constantly though #I count 40 stabs per minute when I go slowly and deliberately like laying lines #and then sometimes I pause to deliberate and stare into space #so if we say that over the course of an hour I’m going full speed for 15 mins and low speed for 35 mins and no-stab deliberating for 10 mins #and we say I spent 7 hours on his head so far (that’s not a high estimate… I’ve done way more fine tuning since posting this) #……..15x360=5400 35x40=1400 5400+1400=6800 6800x7=47600 #my god…. my dear boy…….. #OVER THE PAST TWO DAYS I STABBED MY BABY BOY APPROXIMATELY 47600 TIMES IN THE HEADDDDDD 😭😭😭😭😭😭 #is this worth it……? do you feel it…? do you know that I’m doing this to bring you to life???? because I love you?????????? #how can i go on #but i can’t leave him without a body either???? #i am stuck…. no way out but through…… #i must……. finish the job………… #this mob truly is psycho 100 #saint mob of a million needles #needle felting #mob psycho 100 #kageyama shigeo #shigeo kageyama #mp100 #mp100 fanart #fiber art #my art

[what-if-i-dont-want-a-username]

Just thinking about how cathartic it must have been for jawbone to give Adaine that “this is not your fault, you’re sick” talk because he never had anyone to tell him that with his lycanthropy… anyway-

#cece says things #dimension 20 #fantasy high #jawbone #I feel so bad for him #also think about it- with lycanthropy everyone sees you as this horrible and violent monster when really jawbone can’t control any of it #and is victim to his own impulses and subconscious actions #like of course he needed to hear that #and seeing Adaine so clearly struggling with things going on in her own mind #OF COURSE HE WAS GONNA DO THAT #He knows exactly how she feels and just wants to help #thank you for coming to my ted talk #I love jawbone so freaking much aggg

[stealingyourbones]

Ok so here’s my list of videogames I’m going through rn:

Half-Life series

Batman Arkham

And now Zelda

All of which I know jack shit about the stories or spoilers. I’ve started Batman Arkham Asylum and I’m in the middle of Half Life 2 Episode 1. So far I’m having a blast

#i tried using a controller for Batman Arkham Asylum but quickly went fuck it and used my keyboard instead #how do y’all do it??? there’s so many fucking button combinations?!!! #i tried to remember the patterns but it was really diffficult and keyboard simplifies a lot so keyboard it is #and WHY IS THERE SO MANY RIDDLER BULLSHITS TO COLLECT??!! #240?!!!! WHY #so far I have little over 25% of them and it’s going to be a pain in the ASS collecting the stuff I need to go back through levels #i will say the facial expressions for Arkham Asylum are super stiff and the dialogue is very very rough #but visual and gameplay wise this shit aged wonderfully for a game made in 2008 #it’s very neat and fun and I’m having a blast but I really don’t feel the motivation story wise to do what I need to do??? like in Half Life #you got backstory and motivation and everything #with Arkham Asylum you’re just in the Asylum and you now have to stop Joker but it’s not as pressing of an issue #I’m also not used to open world games #like sure you can’t go TOO far but you can explore an entire island?!!! how cool is that?!?!! #I’m so used to railroad shooters that this is so neat I’ve never played an open world game #bones speaks

[jittyjames]

ptsd is being such a bitch to me tonight guys. your girl is not doing well.

#i don’t want to feel this way #but i don’t know how to stop it #i just feel myself spiraling out of control again and all of these thoughts keep coming with it #it wont leave me alone #i want it to leave me alone #i don’t want to go on more meds bc they fucked me up even more and i want to be able to think #but my heart has started pounding so quickly again that i can’t focus on anything else #i feel so empty and weird and vague #december is always a bad time and it’s hard when i don’t have class or work as a distraction #i’m always on the verge of crying and #i just do all these breathing techniques that don’t work #and i just lay in a ball on my bed shaking and hurting #you know it’s bad when even writing doesn’t calm me down #ocd combining with ptsd is a hell of a thing #how can you calm yourself down when you’re not thinking rationally and it won’t leave your head #part of me just wants to panic and get it over with but i feel like if i start i won’t be able to stop and just simply fly into hysterics #idk #just haven’t felt this bad in a while #i just want to get out of my head so bad #i wish i could turn thinking off #sorry i know y’all aren’t my therapist and i should get my own #but im still on my parents insurance and i don’t think they would allow that #i don’t mean to vent #i just feel really hopeless and shit rn #anyway #i’m going to try to sleep and hope it will be better in the morning #it wont be tho lol #nothing is ever better #bc the universe and god hate me

[truck-stop-tiger]

FINE. Drawing Violet and Brody. But they’re NOT gonna be happy about it

#whatever *angsts your yuri* #they’re hopeless and tragic to me ok #do you think brody was scared to tell violet the truth #it probably took so long for any kind of resolution because apologizing would probably feel fake if she didn’t know what really happened #she can’t maintain that many lies but she can’t tell the truth #can’t find surrender can’t keep control. how’s that big thief song go again?

[transmechanicus]

Brb crying on this friday night

#my stuff #my ex texted me they’re having a rough time but they refuse to let me help #i feel so thoroughly useless to them and i feel like they should/will give me up as a friend if i’m not useful #like if we’re really friends like i think we are LET ME DO SOMETHING TO SUPPORT YOU #i’m actively offering to help and they refuse every time and it hurts bc i know they’re struggling and if we were partners still they would #they would let me support them like they deserve #i know at least some of what they’re struggling with is beyond my control but there’s a non-zero chance part of why they’re upset is me #in the sense that they’re struggling to navigate our friendship after they broke up with me #and i don’t want that to be a source of stress if so. i’ve offered to provide any and all reassurances that might help them #but they’ve said they don’t need to hear anything and need to work it out on their own #how’s uhhh how’s that going for you champ?? #they need support and i’m willing to give it but they won’t admit it even at cost #so i just get to sit here and hope they’ll be ok. and that i’m not making it worse in some way i can’t see #Spotify

[quietwingsinthesky]

there’s a progression in there, somewhere, of even going from ‘the master might kill me any day now :(‘ to ‘the master is going to kill me :) she’s not going to let someone else do it after all this time’

#i wouldn’t call it hubris exactly. more like this pretty secure surity that that’s how they’re going to die. #and to them that makes sense. they chose this. they keep choosing it after the doctor offers them a way out. #because this is. they understand this. and they feel safe in the reprieve before their death. #how do you control death? choose who kills you. the last defense of a prey animal. #something something dark mirror to clara’s ‘i am owed’ speech for even is if this ever. doesn’t work out the way they thought it would. #clara tried to threaten the doctor so that he’d reverse death for her. even would turn on the master if she tried to spare them. #i am owed better. i am owed the death you promised… i am owed the knowledge that you don’t care enough to save me… you know. something like #that. #even is. kind of. meant to mirror the doctor’s companions at the time. they are a martha who can’t leave him. they are a donna who has to #remember and never speak about everything they know. they are clara if during deep breath clara reached back and truly didn’t expect. truly #hoped. that no one would take her hand. because if they can be certain it will happen they can know never to reach again. #jesus christ. go to therapy boy. you have so many trust issues. #but that’s why they’re Like That with the master because at the end of the day. who is easier to rely on? the guy who comes in to put out #fires but only sometimes. or the guy who. really really fucking likes starting fires. #better to get burned hoping someone is coming or get burned knowing that’s what would happen. and even. chooses the latter. #AND ALL OF THIS. for me to say thats why i cant actually let the master ever kill them. #i think she needs to do something worse to even. i think she needs to abandon them. #and that will either set them free to go have healthy normal relationships or. lets be honest much more likely. completely fucking break #them. which would be fun :) for me. #dw oc

[polyamorouspunk]

I hope I'm like you when I grow up

#super depressed; bitter and lonely; hates everyone + everyone hates? #jk thank you so much you have no idea how much this means #imma be honest a good 50% of the time I wish I was fucking dead #I’m so tired of living event to event like ‘oh I can’t kms my best friend is visiting’ ‘oh I can’t kms I have to go see INK’ etc. #and honestly I’m such a bitter and angry person I mean some of it is valid #like when my managers are like oh I can’t finish all my shit can you clean the bathrooms for me and I’m like sure #only to get to work this morning and told that they were messy and gross and I did a bad job etc. like okay I just won’t next time #but also just like can’t control my emotions having so many meltdowns at work + home + on this fucking blog #feeling like I’m ugly and no one’s ever going to love me again etc. #but also like you know what I’m cool. I’m smart. I’m hot. I got some good qualities #be like me: have bpd and fibromyalgia and love horror and metal bands and listen to true crime and donate to victim funds. #be gay do crime post about it online #punk gets mail #personal