#and you can't tell me otherwise

[edeluarts]

Who broke it - EPIC edition

Hermes: so, who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know

...

Polites: I did. I broke it-

Hermes: No. No, you didn't, Odysseus?

Odysseus: Don't look at me. Look at Eurylochus

Eurylochus: What!? I didn't break it.

Odysseus: Huh, that's weird, how did you know it was broken?

Eurylochus: ... Because it's sitting right in front of us. And it's broken.

Odysseus: Suspicious

Eurylochus: No it's not-

Circe: If it matters, probably not, but, Polyphemus was the last one to use it

Polyphemus: Why- I don't even drink that crap! Not after what happened last time

Circe: Oh, really? Then what were you doing by the wine amphoras earlier?

Polyphemus: I Use The Wooden Stirs To Put Back My Cuticles EVERYONE KNOWS THAT

Polites: Okay, okay, let's not fight, I broke it, let me pay for it-

Hermes: No. Who broke it?

...

Odysseus: Grandpa, Zeus has been awfully quiet-

Zeus: REALLY?

*A loud argument ensues, it may or may not involve some sheep and lightning. Polites is trying to calm everyone down*

*Hermes sits down with Athena and Poseidon, who were watching the whole thing unfold*

Poseidon: I broke it. It hit my toe so I punched it.

Athena: I predict ten minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with war paint on their faces and a boar head on a stick.

Hermes (knew everything from the start): Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

#epic the musical #the odyssey #epic memes #epic the musical memes #Polyphemus takes care of his cuticles like he takes care of his sheep: meticulously #and you can't tell me otherwise #i don't know what else to replace the coffee cart with except wine #so let's pretend that there were some sort of wooden stirs lying around to help with mixing wime and water like ancient Greeks did #who broke it

[lasssoh]

my supportive besties <33

#donna noble is the number one tenrose shipper #and you can't tell me otherwise #and yes she put that bag over his head #as well as the note #donna noble #tenth doctor #doctor who #tenrose #ten and donna #catherine tate #david tennant

[sga-owns-my-soul]

Every time she closed her eyes, Elizabeth could see every moment they almost lost him. His arm bloodied when she came back from showing the Genii the supplies, the way he stepped in front of a gun for her, the way Kolya was ready to shove him over the edge. Elizabeth shuddered as she thought about how far over the edge Rodney was being held.

#i'm always having elizabeth rodney storm thoughts #and here's one of them #they definitely ran to check on each other more than once after the storm #nightmares about the other being shot #or taken through the gate with kolya #they're besties and we're terrified of losing each other #and you can't tell me otherwise #my writing #rodney mckay #elizabeth weir #sga the storm #sga the eye #fanfic #sga fanfic #sga #stargate atlantis

[zmorak]

Someone has to say it so Barbie spoilers below

I literally forgot that the character played by America Ferrera has a husband, and spent most of the movie living my asexual lesbian fantasy

And then homie has the audacity to pop up in the last 5 minutes

#barbie the movie #barbie #i see lesbians #listen #barbie is transgender asexual homoromantic #and you can't tell me otherwise

[meili-sheep]

If you wouldn't mind: from not much to completely doubling down, how deep in denial would the harem be if they were confronted by their closer friends (i.e. Amber for Eula, the Kamisatos for Thoma, etc.) about their feelings for Diluc?

So let's low here to the people who would actually be in denial about this loves for Diluc. So check out this post for my Diluc harem confessions.

So if you recall. My deniers were Thoma, Zhongli, Eula, and Xiao.

Thoma is the one probably in the most denial, to be honest. Mostly because he put himself in the friendship zone. Like, bro literally put himself there and plays off everything Diluc does as

"Oh its just because we are friends."

KNOWING FULL WELL DILUC ISN'T LIKE THAT WITH JUST FRIENDS.

And honestly when Ayaka sees it first hand. She's absolutely confused.

"Uh Thoma. Are you certain you and Master Ragnvindr are... "just friends"..."

"Of course! I know he looks mean but he's really sweet and gentle."

"Yes... but he's only like that with you."

"Well he's not very social."

"But the bard and the sister. He's very close with them."

"Oh yes! He's actually told me the bard is his best friend." And Thoma looks a little sad.

"But does he hold Venti's hand?"

"Hmmm not really."

"Does he lean on him?"

"No."

"But he does that with you."

"Yes!"

"..."

"..."

"He likes you."

"Well of course he does we are really good friends."

And that's where Ayaka gives up. Ayato (we are going to ignore my Ayatoluc preference here) is a little more forcefully and just straight up gives Thoma dating/flirting advice. While playing into Thoma's denial.

"Tell him his eyes are beautiful."

"Uuuh would friends say that."

"Only really good friend. Which you and Master Ragnvindr are."

Ayato is smart and realize Thoma is so hard in denial only rock bottom is gonna wake him up. So yeah. He's making it worst lamo.

Now Eula. She's not so much in denial as more she's worried about the consequences. Like people hating her? She can deal with that. It's lonely but she can deal. She has her friends.

Diluc tho. He's Mondstadt's golden boy. He's like a shining star everyone looks up to him and he's worthy of the admiration and respect. Even when he acts a little aloof. She doesn't want people to think as poorly of him as they do of her.

So she does her best to avoid him. Amber tho. She is the best at not only translating Eula speak. But she's really good and translating Diluc speak. So she learns pretty quick Eula and Diluc respect each other. So Eula and Diluc might have a conversation like

"Oh good day Captain Eula. Your coming back for patrol? Did it go well?"

"Master Diluc. Of course it did. Your question of my abilities is quite offensive."

"Oh I have no question in your abilities. Acutally I find you among the more competent."

"Tsk. Well Master I will still have to take Vengeance for this insult."

"Very well. I'll accept my punishment."

Now the Amber translation

"Oh Eula your back. Are you safe? Uninjured?"

"Diluc. Yes I'm well thank you for your concern."

"Well I'm glad. I admire your strength."

"Thank you. I'll visit you later."

"I'll welcome you."

Honeslt she finds it so cute that they like each other. She acutall thinks they fit each other so well and often will tease Eula and always bring Eula to Angel's share when Diluc is working. She doesn't really confront Eula but does play match maker. And I think one drunk night Eula is just staring at Diluc and being particularly down and Amber would just gently push.

"Maybe you should ask him out."

"No way. A Ragnvindr would never like a Lawrence."

"Uh... Eula. Master Diluc likes you. A lot."

"Beside I could not stand other disrespecting him.

"Eula. He's likes you."

"And he's gets marriage purposals daily. I refuse to just add to that number."

"Eula!" Amber just grabs her and forces her to look at Diluc.

And he quickly notices them and es gently smiles and waves.

"He's not smiling at me."

It will take a bit for her to work up the courage. But she does, and he happily accepts it.

Moving on to Liyue and Zhongli. He is just a little more unaware of himself and human courting customs. And the idea actually makes him a bit nervous. As with the value of mora he has trouble relating to human standards of affection.

Yet he will still often wax poetically about Diluc's profile and his noble personality and how he might not be from Liyue, but he still holds such noble values and respects their customs. And there are 2 main recipients of these lectures. Hu tao and Venti.

Hu Tao is also the one who ends up picking up the tab on items Zhongli suddenly bought outta the blue because "it reminded him of something Diluc important." She most of the time is used to his lectures, so it's a little more white noise to her at this point. But she does occasionally just say.

"Just ask him out already."

To which Zhongli vehemently denies any romantic feelings for Diluc. He's just "appreciative of his beauty and gentle nature." Hu tao just rolls her eyes and continues working on her new coffin ad.

Venti, on the other hand he's more active in the situation. And he's a little torn because wanting to see his dear old friend happy. And smacking the living shit out of Zhongli and calling him a cradle robber. He eventually gives in to the first after seeing Diluc clearly having a crush on Zhongli. But he still gives him one good smack upside the head for being so dense to start.

"You have Romantic feelings."

"What are you going on about Of course I don't."

Smack! "You have romantic feelings for Diluc."

"That's absurd-" Smack!

"You know what people who don't have romantic feelings don't do? They don't stare longingly. They don't talk for an hour straight about one person. They don't constantly buy things that remind them of said person. "

"You've just listed off things I do."

"Yeah. Dumbass."

"..."

"Come on... Out with it now."

"I... Might have romantic feelings for Master Diluc."

Smack!

"I... *sigh* definitely have romantic feelings for Master Diluc."

So finally, Xiao. Xiao to be honest the most confused outta the bunch. Like Zhongli, he doesn't quite understand human attraction but like Thoma, he also denies it with everything he has.

Like he is supposed to defeat evil and he, most of the time, sees protecting humans as more of a residual effect. It's important. But it's more important to protect the good of the whole rather than the individual. But after he starts meeting Diluc, he suddenly starts feeling that this individual. He's very, very important. He needs safekeeping. He too often puts himself in danger he shouldn't be in for the sake of others and that greatly upsets Xiao. And he has no clue why he feels this way.

But the problem is Xiao isn't going to be very forthcoming about his feelings. Like there is a chance he'd bring it up to Zhongli, and Zhongli might help. But I can also the staff of the inn noticing and reporting it to Ningqung. Who might decide a last-minute visit to the yaksha.

"I have something very important to ask of you, Yakxha Xiao."

"Yes, Tianquan."

"It's very important in this new age for us to get along with other nations. Especially our neighbor Mondstadt. Master Diluc Ragnvindr. Is not only the biggest trader in Mondstadt, but he sits atop the whole alcohol industry."

Xiao slowly putting it together. "Yes."

"When he is in Liyue. I humbly ask that you keep him company and see that he's well protected. As yaksha, you are not only the strongest for the job but your knowledge of Liyue and its contracts might prove useful to him."

And Xiao just, while having a very serious expression, just lights up with excitement. Because he knew Diluc was important. And now he's got a reason to watch him more carefully.

Meanwhile, Ningquang is happily smiling to herself and making plans for precautions they should take when Xiao takes his 'trips' to Mondstadt. And She defiantly sends a through a certain channel to a certain colleague telling him. He can thank her later.

#diluc harem #Zhongluc #thomaluc #Xiaoluc #albedo #itto #zhongli #xiao #thoma #eula #euluc #Ninquang and diluc at in the same secret organization #and you can't tell me otherwise

[themistymountainscold]

fang: i wish for infinite puppies!! *throws a coin in the ocean*

ivan: NO! MY MONEY! *absurdly loud splash*

#this is them #and you can't tell me otherwise #ofmd meme #ofmd #ofmd incorrect quotes #ofmd fang #ofmd ivan #incorrect quotes #correct but not #fang #ivan #imma miss ivan next season :( #fang better get a fucking dog istg #our flag means death #can you tell i love this show?

[luv-stargazer]

MY lily evans

#and you can't tell me otherwise #lily evans #this is mathilda mai btw #they're both so cool #lily potter #i'm so gay #lily just give me ONE chance

[animefan299110]

Nobara: Dammit, Itadori! It's obvious this demon has a cursed finger!

Itadori: You don't have to sound like you have a dick up your ass.

Nobara: First off, screw you. And second, you mean, "stick" up my ass.

Itadori: You forgot about Friday night, haven't you?

Nobara: O//////^///////O

Megumi: Wait, what the fu-

#jujutsu nanami #itadori yuuji #itakugi #nobara kugisaki #fushiguro megumi #nobara is an ass girl #and you can't tell me otherwise

[crunchygreengrapes87]

"Not all men" you're right Conan gray would never

#i love him #conan gray #he's a girls girl #and you can't tell me otherwise #because i'm right

[paramores]

convinced taylor york was inspired by dave grohl’s shoulder length rock dad hair and ‘stach 

#and you can't tell me otherwise #ignore me

[sunny-jade]

Pipin's Disguise

Without bothering to knock, Raubahn strides through the door to his son’s chambers.  The highlander stops short and stares as Pipin looks at him wide-eyed, half of a ridiculous-looking mustache adorning his upper lip.

“Father! I wasn’t expecting you home so soon…” As nonchalantly as he can, the lalafell turns back to the mirror, deliberately avoiding his father’s stare as he continues attaching the other half of the mustache and then a matching goatee on his chin.  Tugging lightly to make sure they’ll stay, Pipin takes a deep breath, steels his back and turns to face the confused and slightly concerned highlander.

After a moment of his mouth moving without sound, Raubahn manages to speak, his gravelly voice full of slight amusement now.  “And what, exactly, are you doing looking like that?”

Pipin’s cheeks flush slightly, but he holds his father’s gaze.  Fighting to keep his voice even, he mentally reminds himself that the most Raubahn would do is forbid him to continue.  “I have been…buying and taking supplies to Stonesthrow and Lost Hope.  Selling them for…basically nothing…to the refugees.”

As he explains, he becomes more passionate, the anxiety leaving him in the face of the terrible things he knows the refugees have to do just to survive.  Raubahn is content to sit and watch his son, quietly pleased with the fervor in Pipin’s tone.

“If I was to just hand them the supplies, they would see it as charity.  And even as badly off as they are, they are still proud, Father.  So I sell things to them for far less than they’re worth, allow them a bit of dignity to make it to the next day, to keep fighting.”  The lalafell is breathing hard as he gets himself back under control, eyes on the floor now, unsure if he’d gone too far for a man whose father is on the Syndicate.

There is a rustle of cloth and then a sack of gil appears in his field of view.  Gathering his courage, Pipin looks up to meet Raubahn’s eyes, confusion in his own.

“Take it, boy.  And when it runs out, let me know and I’ll replace it with more.”

Dark eyes flit to the bag and back up before he reaches out, having to brace a bit at the weight of coin now in his hand.  Crinkled lines appear around the highlander’s eyes, mischief and pride dancing in the depths.  Without another word, Pipin slips out of the house, careful to not be seen by anyone who could link him to his father in this disguise.  As he heads toward Hammerlea and the man he’d paid to keep his cart safe, his steps become lighter and his head is held high, glad he doesn’t have to hide this from his father anymore.

Back inside the house, Raubahn chuckles lowly, remembering the half-formed mustache on Pipin’s face.  If only he could get that painted…

#pipin tarupin #raubahn aldynn #ffxiv #ffxivrp #this totally happened #and you can't tell me otherwise

[glacierruler]

I'm starting off the new year right, as a cute emo guy. Tomorrow I might be a hot girl, or an attractive nonbinary or agender person. But today, starting off the new year, I'm a cute emo boy.

#glacier rambles #i am a genderfluid mess #half the time i can't figure out what gender i am #and pronouns are always a mess #but today is quite crisp and clear #i'm a cute emo guy #and you can't tell me otherwise

[asleep-kat]

A CAT JUST RUBBED THEMSELVES AGAISNT MY LEG I-

Is this a sign from the heavens?

#Not Kirby #Oc #my characters #original character #my persona #uhh #cats #yeah #Art #my art #digitalart #digital art #cats are cool #and you can't tell me otherwise

[acharnemcnt-a]

Lounging on art deco sofas in a robe while casually manipulating his guest with a mixture of praise, allure & underhanded threats? He got it from his mama @vipis

#⭒✧ 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌 ✧⭒ » ooc #enna taught her boy to be coy & sneaky af #and you can't tell me otherwise

[therelentless]

ooc;; thinking of the keychain his mommy gave him and how he carried it around with him all the time until it got stolen.

#{ house meeting! } ;; ooc #his shit got stolen #and you can't tell me otherwise

[polararts]

#spiderverse #the prowler #miles morales #across the spiderverse #atsv #fanart #art #he's a good boy you can't tell me otherwise #sketch #doodle #he's A GOOD BOY #I am convinced #spoilers