as someone who has experienced abuse from someone with a personality disorder, it's actually incredibly easy to not dehumanize everyone with a personality disorder. i've seen people do borderline eugenic rhetoric surrounding people who have npd, aspd, bpd or other personality disorders, and then be like "I'M allowed to say these things because i'm a survivor, and if you disagree you are hurting abuse victims."
and frankly? i'm tired of it. as an abuse survivor i'm here to say that you're NOT allowed to turn into a fucking eugenicist the moment you're hurt by someone with a personality disorder.
does hurting and belittling other people who happen to have the same disorder as your abuser, people that are already suffering and that are already looked down on by society, bring you any healing? does it bring you peace?
Being hurt by someone isn't an excuse to hurt others that you feel justified in lashing out on. you're literally in control of your own actions,
you may claim to be making a safe space for abuse survivors, but i will never feel any solidarity with you, and i ESPECIALLY don't feel safe with you considering i might have a personality disorder.
you are excluding a large amount of abuse survivors in the name of "advocacy". a lot of people with personality disorders developed one or multiple due to heavy abuse. in the aim of creating a safe space, you are excluding the ones who need a safe space the most.
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disappointed but not surprised at the number of posts saying snow's moral depravity is because of his apparent low empathy and not because he. yknow. supports and upholds a fucking fascist regime.
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not to be a hater on main but i just stumbled on a tik tok claiming that tsh both takes itself too seriously and could use more absurd comedy and it nearly made me punch a wall
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haha oh no im definitely not at all disturbed by the prevalence of leftists on all platforms who are loudly 'anti-genocide' when it comes to the palestinian cause (and a couple others at best :3c) yet the only time ukraine [ʊkrɐˈjinɐ] leaves their mouths is in critique, in stark comparison to the former or in complaint about their (american) government sending aid.
at first what i saw often was pointing out the differences in western media framing [ukraine vs palestine], and that's fair (until the words and the agenda of western journalists are used to paint, as a whole, ukrainians who have been actively going through genocide as some kind of white supremacists hogging the blanket of global attention when they kinda just want to live and have the rights to their own land, culture, names and families)
but no one is even caring to do that anymore, today bitches just invent metaphorical scenarios and people to get mad at and to throw an entire ethnos away because wahhhh i decided that you care for X but not for Y!!!.... all while doing the exact thing they are condemning. the exact absolute same and they don't even hide it but do lack the self-awareness to realise
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"other countries have poor people but worse, don't speak usamerican" fuck you actually. Shiver in my freezing ass cockroach infested poisoned water mold ladened lead paint flaking ass apartment with me. "At least you're not the REAL poor or getting bombed or whatever" repeat what you said back slowly and then jump into the poisioned river down my street. Starve with me. Bitch.
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✨Stuck at the airport tag game frenzy brought to you by spirit airlines✨
I already got here an extra hour early and now my flight is delayed an hour so I've got some time to kill lol
Game #1: your color + your bias
I was tagged by @jiminsproof and @blueside-hobi to play this. Thanks guys, your posts looked beautiful ❤️
Ummm I know these colors don't match at all but in my defense I was identified as beige. You really can't expect me to have an eye for color or layout or anything really 🤷 also that is not even beige? Wtf is analogue? I hate this
Game #2: on repeat
I was tagged by @blueside-hobi to play this 💕
Sorry for the repeats I didn't feel like typing everything out lol
Game #3: Receiptify
Tagged by @blueside-hobi and @hopeinthebox to play this!
Umm I will tag @chocolatnoir @joon-rkive @cheekyquokka @courtthisdisaster @senor-hoberto if any of these games appeal to you! And anyone reading this who wants to share!
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The Slope by @megatron-fucks provides a great scene where Pharma gets to blow up on Ratchet about how he lost everything good in his life and faced a fate worse than death so Ratchet has no right to judge him.
But you know what else I really want to see and might write myself?
I want a post-Delphi scene where Pharma gets to verbally rip Ratchet apart about how he disowned Pharma and is acting as if the 'new Pharma' is a completely different person, but in reality Ratchet is just desperate to convince himself that Pharma was always a bad apple and the "best friend" Ratchet knew was either a lie or a person who's "died." Basically Pharma getting to lambast Ratchet about how 'the person he used to be' isn't some separate entity, that the old Pharma LITERALLY IS HIM and it's Ratchet who's a piece of shit for being unable to reconcile that Pharma could be his former best friend and also the monster he ended up becoming.
Mostly in regards to the aspect of canon where despite being former best friends, Ratchet made basically zero efforts to have any sympathy for Pharma or extend help/mercy to him and mostly used their former friendship to prey on Pharma's insecurities to manipulate him into doing what he wanted.
Of course it's a narration by Pharma so it might not be 100% correct or unbiased, but like. I just desperately crave some sort of resolution between Ratchet and Pharma. Or if not a resolution, at least some catharsis where Pharma gets to unload and Ratchet acknowledges he was a bastard.
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wait explain to me the destiel hatred i’m curious what abt it angers u that doesn’t apply to the other two ships
great question! the answer would unfortunately require 3 hours and a powerpoint presentation, so i will try to do a brief summary:
a ship sucking only ever has about 25% to do with the ship itself. destiel is bad in the sense that i think dean winchester is an annoying character that gets treated with kiddie gloves by the narrative, which makes him irritating to see on screen, because i personally dislike it when "men are angry and abusive because they just love too strongly, and don't know how to express it :(" is played straight as a character's primary internal conflict. especially over 15 seasons. it's boring, he's boring, and 35 year old men shouldn't be going to colleges trying to figure out which freshman girls are legal or not. hate him.
however the real sin of destiel, beyond the fact that dean winchester and i have beef that will only ever resolve when i get to reincarnate as the rusty nail that kills him, is that the fans are so so so fucking annoying. like yes the narrative frames dean as a golden boy who can either do no wrong, or "well, i guess he did wrong there, but what about how tortured he is :(" but good god. at least the show isn't trying to convince me that destiel is some groundbreaking lifechanging love story, complete with "omg this moment" montages where they romanticize scenes that feature dean either insulting, threatening, or humiliating cas. like this entire show (post season 5) is dean chronically either infantillizing and attempting to keep cas under his control, or holding him up as the only person he can rely on, thus giving cas expectations that are impossible to fulfill.
and don't get me wrong! people can like a shitty person and a fucked up ship. that's basically everything i enjoy on here. but at least like. acknowledge it. aldfkjalka. and if you're gonna like a shitty person and a fucked up ship, at least write about it in an interesting way. 90% of fic and posts written about destiel aren't even about destiel as presented in canon, they're about two generic men with generic personalities who suffer from the world's most generic tropey problems. cookie cutter ass basic relationship. the high school au of ships. boring.
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Let's be honest, and I say this with full offense, Lucerys Velaryon is the Archduke Franz Ferdinand of the Dance of the Dragons. He is meant to be a sacrificial lamb to kick off the entire war proper. If we had gotten a full season of development with him like we did with the younger cast in Game of Thrones, I guarantee more people would've felt something. The only reason I personally feel bad is from a baseline level of empathy, because he was a child who was placed in an unwinnable situation due to his mom being completely irresponsible with him and his brothers.
However…
The comparison between Lucerys and Aemond is no contest. Love him or hate him, Aemond has an actual personality and goals when we first meet him. There's enough dimension in Aemond as a child to showcase the potential for sympathy between him and Jace at the funeral, a scene they didn't need to put in, but they did, which emphasizes his own innocence. Even before he breaks bad fully in S1E10, he's still far more compelling to watch due to the number of scenes allocated to him and his dynamic with other people.
This is where you and I are going to disagree just a bit, because Lucerys does do something in S1E07 and S1E08. He gouges out the eye of a family member and petulantly whines that he “didn’t do anything!” when confronted with the possibility of getting in trouble for it, then years later has the nerve and complete lack of sense to giggle at the person he permanently maimed only hours after his legitimacy was publicly called into question (again) and resulted in a murder. The narrative (perhaps unintentionally) glosses over these moments in favor of portraying him as good, whereas if you read between the lines, you can see that as being an oversimplification. The problem is that because S1 was truncated, secondary characters like Lucerys don’t receive screentime dedicated to portraying anything other than a single personality trait. Unfortunately, because of his role in the text and the way it was adapted for television, there was never a chance that Lucerys would be interesting.
I don't even have anything to add, this is just objectively correct.
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and y’know i don’t think too much on tumblr about gender bc 1) i’m agender and that’s kinda my whole thing and 2) tumblr general anonymity of gender is nice and lovely. however... thinking about the whole “this afab person doesn’t know what a foil, a staple in the high achieving degree they earned and now teach other people in for a living, is” does have misogynistic overtones if/when it comes from cis men, y’know?
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and I'm having thoughts again
so I've been watching that John Larroquette interview that I reblogged on repeat for half an hour now and I'm just. man I am so very....... okay I'm trying not to say that I'm stupid anymore but god what else is there to say. it's making me feel like my brain just turns off and all there is is static and [insert very high frequency screaming sound].
like I would love to be able to have actual thoughts about this shit but I am not. I just love love love people who think about shit and face their issues and work on getting better. and talk about it. like it's just a thing that happened. because it is. it's not 'oh you did bad shit in your past so you're fucked forever now'. it's 'bad shit happened, I did bad things, I confronted it, I made different choices' and that's it. I just. man I'm feeling really emotional and am probably gonna have a good long cry about this now.
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Re-read Oboro's backstory in Vigilantes tonight [Lyre will see it when they wake up later] and I am once again so pissed off at how fucking stupid the fanon is about Aizawa. Genuinely have no idea how so many of you could read through that and come to the assumption that he's a terrible horrible friend to Hizashi when there's a whole year of time that we never get to see between the death and their graduation
If Aizawa had really pushed Hizashi away, then Hizashi wouldn't have been with him when he was training. If he'd actually pushed his friends away, he wouldn't have been playfully smirking at their graduation when he erased Hizashi's quirk because guess what? He wasn't being a dick there, he was just doing what friends do. If he didn't want to be seen at all, he would've left before Hizashi started calling out for him, but it's very obvious he was standing there waiting for him. He erases Hizashi's voice because he doesn't like large groups and photos but he still smirks and holds up his graduation scroll to have a private, personal moment with his best mate
It's nothing more than a "Hey. Look at us. We did it" gesture. Some of you really do read way too far into things. And as for Hizashi's reaction to his voice going, this is just a general "wait what happened to my voice? Shit did I overstrain it - oh it's just Aizawa nvm" moment
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After seeing some of the absolute worst takes last night, I need to say this;
If you're following me just to try to "figure out" my trauma or abusers in any way, kindly fuck right off and never touch my blog again. What the actual hell is wrong with you?
I'm well aware that this is ultimately a public space and that sometimes the things I post are incredibly personal and reflect my trauma in many ways. Most people who follow are probably more here for the traumacore/ventcore posts and aesthetics, considering they're a good way to express a lot of things it's hard to find words for- which is all good- but if anyone is here just to try to "evaluate" or "figure out" my trauma or the abuse I went through, and "spot mistakes" or whatever, 1. Actually what is wrong with you. 2. Leave and never come back. 3. That is actually so deplorable and disgusting in so many ways, and you shouldn't be in survivor spaces.
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i think it is probably a sign of the process of healing from the trauma of having every word out of my mouth ripped apart, mocked, and treated as an unforgivable offense warranting Extreme Rage and Vitriol, and having it explained to me in excruciating and hateful detail why my thought processes and basic turns of phrase and the things i thought were worth expressing were stupid worthless gibberish, unbearable to listen to, and the root of everything wrong with society, by redditor-ass faux-intellectuals in my life growing up for being awkwardly phrased/not concise enough/mildly whimsical, that some days i'm proud of my meta and some days i can barely stand to look at it. but god that does not make the second one more fun.
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yesterday my supposedly best friend for the last 5 years sent me a message that she doesn't want any contact with me and that i am toxic and that she's gonna block me without waiting for my response to all of those accusations when not a week earlier it's was my GODDAMN BIRTHDAY and she wrote me a happy birthday message that i let my girlfriend read because of how sweet that was..... and now i found out she literally. blocked me on every other social media and now i am just. so angry
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