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backseatloversz · 2 years

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is it too late to post messy pre-slash anderperry hurt/comfort n say its for anderperry week. its called it's the small things <3

todd has a headache. todd has a headache, and its fucking killing him.

he knows he needs to study but he cant focus on anything, can't even fall asleep. hes laying on his bed above the covers and his arm is thrown over his eyes because there's no curtains on their windows and the sun hasn't set yet so its right in his face. (well, not really. there's a shadow over his face, mostly, but still. the room is too bright and it makes him mad that there's nothing he can do about it.)

and neil.

neil's sitting against his bed, reading a book for class. he's silent, because they'd been bickering earlier until todd broke and told him the reason he'd been so irritated all day was because he had a splitting headache so would you stop shouting at me please. neil told him to lay down and todd told him to shut up. i can go then, i should be studying anyway- neil snapped, and todd said wait.

he'd sat down on his bed and fought back tears because he was upset - upset with neil and upset with his headache but not really upset with neil, or anyone else, really, anyone but himself. 'm sorry i snapped at you. can you - he trailed off. neil had been at his desk, paused from grabbing his books, and he walked over to sit next to todd.

what?

no, nothing. it's stupid.

neil pressed their shoulders together. he was silent for a moment.

im sorry, too. im sorry you have a headache and im sorry i shouted at you. and whatever it is, im sure it's not stupid.

can you just - todd's voice was quiet. his face is burned and he rubbed his nose. can you just stay here? his head was pounding. (dont ask why dont ask why dont ask why.)

neil looked at him and todd looked at the floor. another moment passed before he responded. sure. (thank god thank god he didnt ask why.) is it alright if i read?

yeah. yeah, of course.

and that's how he'd ended up sitting on the floor, back against todd's bed.

he's staring at his book and they're both quiet because they'd been bickering, and it's still kind of tense. todd's head is pounding and now neil's is, too, and he can't focus on any of the words because his mind is too busy wondering why why why why why.

he hears todd sniffle.

he sets his book aside and twists his body, rests his chin on the edge of the bed. todd. he says.

todd doesn't respond. his chest is shaking and there's an arm thrown over his face.

todd. he says again.

this time, todd moves his arm and turns to face neil. hm.

you're just gonna make it worse. neil whispers.

what?

not - not crying. holding it in. the pressure- it'll make your headache worse.

every fiber of his being is telling todd, look away. turn your back. ignore him and go to sleep and maybe this humiliation will wash away. but his throat aches, and the way neil's staring at him -- he can't. i don't even - i don't even know why im - why im crying. todd swears and his voice breaks and he tries to cover his face, but neil reaches it first.

the back of his hand presses to todd's cheek and it shocks him. he he prays neil will assume it's just burning from the humiliation. you're stressed. aren't you? welton does that. todd swears he stops breathing when neil moves his hand so it's holding his face, instead.

yeah. he manages. yeah, stressed. hot tears streak down his face and he squeezes his eyes shut. he knows why he's crying now, knows it's because he's overwhelmed -- overwhelmed by neil, neil and how close he is, neil and his warm hand on his face, thumb gently rubbing circles on his cheek, so tender and for what --

neil. he whispers. neil hums. neil. can you - his voice shakes. he sniffles again and opens his eyes and neil's looking at him, softly.

hm?

can you get me some water? please.

neil takes his hand back and todd immediately misses his touch. yeah. of course. his voice is soft and low and when he stands todd does bury his face in his hands, draws his knees to his chest, bites his palm. of course, of course, of course echoes in his mind.

the door clicks shut and he lets himself cry. neil was right, his headache had only been getting worse. a massive part of him is being consumed by and overwhelming why? whats wrong with me why am i reacting like this what am i even reacting to why am i even crying why did i ask him to stay -- and he barely hears the door click again.

he sits up when he hears footsteps approaching, and neil sits down next to him, handing him a glass. thanks, he says.

neil's watching him, and todd wishes he'd do something else. pull him into a hug or put his hand on his shoulder, ask are you okay? or did the water help? do you need anything else? or maybe put his hand on his face again. but instead he just sits there. maybe he's waiting for todd to make the next move. it's out of character. maybe he thinks he did something wrong.

after a few minutes, todd's breathing steadily again.

neil silently offers to take the glass, which todd accepts, handing it over and watching as neil leaves his side to set it on his desk.

well. he starts, quietly, and todd aches, again, for him to do something more. lean over him when he lies down, press the back of his hand to his face and mumble something about how a kiss makes everything better before kissing his forehead, like a mother, or maybe his mouth, softly, like a lover.

but he doesn't do any of that. instead, he says, well. you should try and sleep.

todd nods and, after a moment of watching neil watching him, he lies back down. he closes his eyes and listens as neil walks over and sits down beside him again. there's no way he'll be falling asleep anytime soon, with the sun in his eyes but mostly on neil, so he throws an arm over his head.

#cannot decide whether i love this or hate it. take it out of my hands #dont say anything mean abt it tho i'll cry #ok tags #anderperry week #anderperry week 2k21 #anderperry #todd anderson #neil perry #dead poets society #dps #dps fanfiction #dps headcanons #jbs words #cowboy posts

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poetofthedyingstars · 3 years

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DAY 01: Childhood Best Friends

well, it is time for me :D and for the first day, i give u angst. jk hehe... am i? also, okay, this got long but believe me. i tried to make it shorter- enjoy reading mwah

taglist: @aedan-mills @crispin-kreme @theluminoussunflower

They have known each other ever since birth. Matching cribs, matching clothes, matching strollers that can be seen in the old photo album each of their parents’ still hide and keep. And for that, Neil was thankful because it seems like this is how far they can go; with memories and affections. For him, it has always been more than that. Unfortunately, it was only for him.

Neil remembered when his parents were out and Todd was the only one in the house with them. They were playing hide and seek and Todd was it. Neil hid upstairs, in one of the big closets of his parents. Surely, Todd can't find him there Neil was wrong, of course. Deep down, he knows Todd will always find him. And, he did. But this time, Todd didn’t open the door to shout “Got you!” in Neil’s face. He walked in front of the closet, Neil could see it in the crack. Neil heard a giggle and then footsteps and then he heard the door closed. Why hasn’t Todd caught him yet? Neil thought. That’s until he heard Todd call him from outside the door.

“Neil, your parents are here!” Neil knows too well they’re not, otherwise, Todd wouldn’t shout. He got out of the closet though and ran to open the door. But because Todd opened it before he could and the door hit Neil in the face. It hit his lips, Neil’s brain cell flew- because one of his teeth just fell out.

“Oh my god, Neil. I’m so sorry. Are you okay?” Neil looked up at him with the tooth in his hand.

“Todd… a fairy is going to visit me tonight! My first tooth just fell out!” He jumped around.

“My parents told me they’re not real, you know?”

“Of course, they’re real. I’m going to put this under my bed tonight and I’ll share with you whatever they give me!”

Todd pursued his lips. “Okay. I’m sorry I hit you with the door.” Neil assured him it was okay because a fairy will be happy with it. And when tomorrow came, Neil spent the dollar he found under his pillow with Todd.

It has always been the two of them. They spent their day together, they’re inseparable. They’ve been with each other whether the other one is crying or laughing. Neil was there when Jeffrey left for boarding school and Todd was crying. Todd was there for Neil on his birthday when his parents weren’t even around. They told each other their dreams and how they want their future to be still full of each other’s faces. It has always been the two of them, they thought, but of course not. Fate was a third party, watching them, sometimes getting in the way but Fate was a secret party they didn’t acknowledge much. Neil wished he had known about the future now.

They were twelve when Todd’s parents decided to put him in a boarding school far from their neighborhood, far from their secret hideout, far from Neil. Of course, Todd cried, as one does. He will be away from everything! Neil comforts him a day before he leaves, saying it’s going to be alright, they still have to spend summer right? To read books like they used to, role play, biking and watch their favorite cartoons. Just like before.

But, of course, once it changes, it’s going to change constantly. Neil went to their public school while Todd went to the boarding school. They write to each other every week. Neil found new friends, he wrote, “they’re not you but they’re great people. I hope you can meet them when you get home by summer.” Todd wrote back saying he missed Neil because “none of the kids here likes me.” Nei assured him everything will be okay for him. And, Todd believed him, of course.

But things get busier and the time for them to write to each other lessens. And, when summer came, Neil was the happiest kid ever. They talked about everything. Todd ranted a lot about his teachers, and how they always mention Jeffrey in front of his face. Neil told him about his school friends and this great guy Charlie.

“You’re going to love Charlie!” he said. Todd grunted as if he didn’t care. But, boy, oh boy, Neil was right again. He knows Todd more than he knows himself. Todd adored Charlie and Charlie found him amusing. Their duo just became a trio. Each summer, they ride on their bikes, play arcade, and stuff. During school days, Neil writes letters for his story and Charlie’s for Todd to read. Charlie grew closer to both Todd and Neil. They’re like a family.

But Neil is about to realize something as his 18th birthday comes. It’s December and the snow is pouring. Nobody was in the house but him because his Dad was on a business trip with his Mother. They left him a gift, is all. But the thing is, Neil didn’t expect Todd to burst inside the house in the middle of the night just to greet him happy birthday. Just to tell him that Neil’s parents sucks at leaving him tonight. Just to give his gift to Neil and spend this night with him. Neil almost cried.

That’s when he realized how much he loves Todd. How much he’d been suppressing back his feelings because he was afraid to ruin a fragile and precious friendship. He wanted to cry. Ever since then, every kind thing that was perceived as a ‘friendship’ thing was subtly mixed with romance, hoping that Todd would notice it as Neil can’t word it out. He is, after all, the greatest actor of all.

But Neil swore he’s going to confess after college. It’s only a matter of time. How could it get worse, right?

As they grew older and closer, Neil started to pursue acting, in a deal with his Dad that if he ‘fails’, he would continue his medical studies. It’s a lot of pressure but it’s better than dying not being able to do what he actually wanted. Charlie confided in him, and he started writing. Like Todd. Sometimes, Neil would get scared because he sees how similar and close Todd and Charlie are.

It was then, the day of Neil’s play performance, he found himself in a tangle of fundamental truths. It was the Midsummer Night’s Dream they were performing. He was good, really good. Good enough for his parents, hopefully. His friends were watching him, Todd and Charlie. When Neil looked at the audience before he got on the stage, his eyes caught two of the best people in his life, sitting there and enthusiastically watching. His heart warmed as he watched Todd.

It was ironic, the way Neil loved Shakespearean tragedies but never have he thought to starred in one. He noticed how Charlie looks at Todd the same way he does. The adoration, the longing and the ticking bomb of a secret love. He felt a pang in his heart. Something shattered. Was it his heart? Was it his world?

He might have known because he needed to put his shits together to act again.

He received claps, praises and bouquets and a kiss he wished were from Todd instead. But after that revelation, how could he betray his bestfriends? To love the other and to break the second’s heart. He should have listened when people told him he can never serve both.

So, as one does, he left the neighborhood. Cut off Todd and Charlie for a little while. It’s going to be alright. That was his thought years ago.

He succeeded in being an actor, now, of course, there were a lot of down moments but he can take it. He’d been through a lot of neglect, anyways. Like the night of his 18th birthday, he didn’t expect Todd to burst in one of the rehearsals.

“Todd,” he whispered when they were finally alone. “I’ve missed you.”

Todd looked at him with longing and joy. “I need to tell you something.”

The world stood still and both of these young lover’s hearts beat fast and loud. Todd started talking, softly the way Neil remembered it and he started talking fast, anxiously like chasing Father Time. Neil would be chasing the time too right now, just to relive all of their memories.

“... have I ever told you… that I love you?”

Neil cried. He can’t believe he’s watching his best friend, the love of his life, walking in the aisle. He can’t believe Todd’s getting married, is all. And to Charlie too! Neil always knew they would click together.

After all, Todd is his childhood best friend, bond since infancy, soul dust that came from the same place. He loved him so much and nothing makes him more happier than seeing Todd settle with joy with the one he loved truly. Just like before, Neil will always be there for Todd. Whether laughing or crying. Just like before.

#dead poets society #anderperry #anderperry week #dead poets #todd anderson #neil perry #sig writes #ace 🧱#charlie dalton #anderperry week 2k21

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regina-della-poesia · 2 years

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✦─day six: sick/hurt-comfort

✦─wordcount: 1.3k+

✦─genre: angst (pretty heavy, ngl), hurt-comfort is it really tho??, on and off relationship, poetry/verse, just overall very sad sjfhdjghdf

content warnings (tis how yknow its gonna get bad): su*cidal/s*lf h*rm thoughts; brief mentions of guts, organs, and such in a mildly grotesque way [pls do tell me if i need to mention something else in here!]

✦─fandom: dead poets society

✦─pairing: anderperry (todd anderson x neil perry)

✦─summary: neil hasn’t been in the mental space for years now. the last thing he wants is to hurt the only good thing that has ever happened to him. he often runs away from him, trying to disappear from his life. but he always comes back, and todd’s always waiting for him by the door.

✦─inspired by the song neptune by sleeping at last

✦─banner made by @regina-dei-fiori (aka, moi), beta reading done by the beautiful @iemondropsss <33

✦─ao3 link to be added soon

a/n: is this prompt a day earlier? yes indeed. do i still have to complete a bunch of previous prompts? absolutely. but as one very famous poet once said, ✨let’s forget how any of this works✨ anyways, hello besties, today i have chosen violence sdkfhdjfgfd

quick side note, you may or may not have seen that i said i wouldnt be posting the anderperry week on schedule anymore (i only lasted one day smh) due to the existence of e x a m s. thankfully, i already finished all of them, so i’ll get into writing asap.

so, my favourite thing (for both writing and reading purposes) is angst/hurt comfort, so i had a blast with this one, lemme tell you. writing sad shit helps me get bad feelings out ig, and it also helps me remember that im alive lmao

my other prompts are going to be pretty fluffy, i was just not in the mood to write something cute. i dont want peace, i want problems, always >:))

moral of the story, dont let me write angst (too late tho). enjoy yall lol <33

I'm only honest when it rains If I time it right, the thunder breaks When I open my mouth I wanna tell you, but I don't know how

I'm only honest when it rains An open book with a torn out page And my ink's run out I wanna love you, but I don't know how

-Neptune, by Sleeping At Last

For as much as I’ve tried to escape, to keep distance, it is, in a way, incredible how I always come back to the same place. My feet truly are more independent than I initially thought.

I write about my regrets everyday, did you know? I count them down, with paper and pen. I write down: I regret ever wanting to live different lives, with costumes and scripts. I write down: I regret ever loving the people I wasn’t supposed to love. I write down: I regret not having controlled my black holes in time, the ones that suck the life out of me without mercy. I write down: I regret forgetting who I really was.

I write my regrets down everyday. And even though it’s always on the tip of my tongue, your name I have never written. Todd Anderson. It jumps around, inside the walls of my mind, like a bird trying to escape its cage. It wants to be free, I know. It wants to travel cities and seas, it wants to see the cliffs and the bees. It wants to rip the most violent scream out of me. It wants me to jump in front of traffic and wait for the sweet embrace of the afterlife. Todd Anderson. My light in my darkest nights, the air I breathe when there’s no oxygen around me. O me, o life.

But would you believe me if I told you that you’re not one of them? I’ve made so many mistakes in my life, so many impulsive decisions. But you're the thing I'm most sure of. You’re the only good thing I’ve ever had between my arms, as I felt our inevitable end surrounding us. Our terrible fall. So terrible, that we haven’t stopped falling since.

I regret so many things in life, but not you, my love.

Who would regret meeting the personification of the moon herself? Quiet and serene, wild and captivating. Caring and loving, with a smile that carries the light of moonshine; that has the power to move oceans.

Who would regret endless nights in which we thought our crazy fantasies could become reality? Jumping and dancing and singing at the top of our lungs. Thinking we were the only ones, thinking we were on top of the world. The pills that I keep in my bathroom drawer will never compare to what you make me feel, to what you make me see.

Who would regret waiting years to see the cocoon finally crack, only to see the most beautiful wings emerge? Butterflies aren’t able to see the patterns of their own wings; they’ll never know the beauty they hold. You’ll never fully understand how much you make me want to rip my skin off, how much you make me want to run away to a lost country and never look back. When you laugh, when you talk, when you speak, when you cry. When you look at me like I’m the most precious person in the room, and when you look at me like I’m the scum of the earth.

You're not a regret of mine, honey. But am I not one of yours? Don't you regret ever believing that I carried the magic that I've always faked? Can’t you see that you sold away your sanity the day you laid eyes on me?

I don't deserve the things you think I do. Congratulations, you have fallen into the trap! The one everyone falls inside of when they meet the mighty Neil Perry. The one everyone wants to pay attention to. The one everyone trusts to be the truth. The one you can now see through, my love. I don't deserve any of the things that you do. It's a facade, an act. Can't you see? Can't you just run away from me, instead of making us reach our painful end?

I live with maggots inside of me. Eating me alive, eating away my brain, my liver, my lungs, my heart. Eating away my feelings, my emotions. Contaminating the memories. Our memories, my darling. I’m nothing more than a lifeless shell. I’m a dead man walking. We both know that death is the only thing men can never escape, my darling. Who can love a man that can no longer love? My departure will be as insignificant as my arrival. You should start planning the way you’re going to keep on living without me, love.

I’ve noticed the way you look when I completely lose sense of myself. I’ve noticed the terror in your eyes, I’ve noticed the way your feet make you go three steps back, I’ve noticed your hesitant arms as you ponder if it’s a good idea to give me your warmth or not. I’ve noticed, don’t you try to bullshit me. I know I scare you, Todd. I know how much you wish I’d just never exist. Or at least not in your sight.

When I erase myself from the phase of earth for a moment, there’s not a step I take without you in my thoughts. There’s not a second I don’t consider running up the stairs of that building we used to go to, and just go ahead and fly with the stars that show up at midnight. At least I would die out in a place where we’ve kissed a thousand times, at least I would vanish on the rooftop we claimed as ours.

Why do you keep following me, in my days and in my dreams? Why do you keep embracing my dampened body when we lock eyes in the doorstep of the apartment that was supposed to be home? Don’t you see the way I only search for your touch and forgiveness when the waves are already drowning us? Don’t you see the way I start being honest only when the rain starts flooding the city that was once ours? Don’t you see that I’m making you sick? Don’t you see the way my eyes lose their spark more and more each passing moment? Don’t you feel sorry for yourself, for dealing with this corpse before you? The one you once wanted to spend your whole life with, the one you once called your lover.

Who am I to ask you to stay? And who are you to stay even when I don’t ask you to?

And yet… And yet, my body is not strong enough to move away from your touch. And yet, my lips aren’t strong enough to stop the tenderness in which you kiss my tears away. And yet, my mouth’s not strong enough to tell you to escape from this disgrace of a man I have become. And yet, my mind is too stubborn to want any of this to go. To let this go. To let you go.

I know, I am aware. I’m probably the most aware of both of us: I’m selfish.

Let me spill my guts on this wooden floor. Let me rip my ribcage open, and let my heart be exposed. Let the amount of tears I’ve dropped make me weak. Let me wail and cry and scream. And then hold me, my love. Even if I’m up in flames, even if my skin stings, even if the cloth from my clothes becomes velvet. Your touch makes me believe that not everything that is warm burns. Your arms make me believe in a fortress that mad hands who tear my skull in half cannot enter. Your pulse reminds me that my whole world’s beating still. Your lips melt like sweet chocolate between mine. You are the reason I believe living is a blessing.

Because I am selfish, honey. I know. I am aware.

Todd Anderson. My moon on an empty sky. The butterflies that fly in spring. The brown leaves that fall in autumn. The sunsets that you can only enjoy on top of mountains. The one that has loved me in a way no one else ever could. The only thing worth living for.

Would you let go of me if I asked you to?

tag list: @cupiiid @aedan-mills @pelicanchaos @tuskofthyme

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aedan-mills · 2 years

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me reading anderperry week submissions

/lh /pos

they're all literally so beautiful lkajlksdj i love this fandom

#anderperry #anderperry week #anderperry week 2k21

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sapphicnoel · 2 years

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anderperry week 2k21 day 3: future fic/domestic fluff

A/N: sorry this is going up later than usual! tumblr decided to be stupid and wouldn't let me schedule this post. anyway enjoy xx -sam

When Neil slid around the corner in a pair of socks, Todd was only a little annoyed. He sets the book he’d been reading down on the couch cushion beside him. Todd watches his fiancé make a fool of himself in their apartment for a moment, the stereo on and playing some obnoxious local pop radio station. It’s cute. God, he loves Neil. So much.

“Neil, what the hell are you doing?“ Todd asks from the couch, trying and failing to glare daggers at his companion. There’s a book in his lap, still open. It’s their one collective day off and Todd would like to spend it cuddling with Neil while trying to get some reading done for the literature class he has on Wednesdays, but it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen. At least he loves Neil, or he wouldn’t be nearly as forgiving.

“I’m… Sliding around on my socks. I got bored,” Neil replies. “Wanna join me?"

“Oh, no,” Todd laughs at the question. “Nope. You’re on your own. I’ll stay off my feet, thank you.”

Neil pouts, honest to God pouts. Todd almost feels bad, until Neil’s crossing the minimal distance between them and pulling Todd to his feet. Oh, come on.

“Neil, what the fuck?”

“Come on, Toddy, live a little!”

“I live plenty!”

“Sure you do. Just this once, please?”

“Fine,” He sighs, “But if I fall on my ass or break something, it’s your fault.”

Neil just laughs. It would be a comforting sound if Todd weren’t trying to be annoyed with him. Trying and failing, mostly. He could never stay truly mad at Neil, not often.

Two hours later, they’re both out of breath and grinning like fools at each other. They’d ended up on the floor towards the end after nearly falling flat. Neil was right for once. It was nice to just let go and dance around on the hard wood of the living room floor. Todd managed to not fall over, which was nice. He stole a glance at Neil, who leaned forward and kissed him in the mouth. It isn’t anything new, of course, but still a sweet gesture. This year marks their sixth year of living in New York and their seventh as a couple. So you can imagine that they’ve kissed a fair amount over the years, even before they decided to get married and long before Neil proposed.

“I love you,” He breathes against Todd’s lips when they’ve parted. His hand cups one of the other’s cheeks, the touch warm and soft.

“I love you too,” It’s Todd who kisses Neil this time, slower than before but no less passionate.

The moment breaks when the cat, Walt, comes up to them where they sit on the door. Walt meows then settles in Todd’s lap. Because he can’t resist, Todd pets the cat and lets him stay even though his legs are falling asleep. With his free hand, Todd grabs one of Neil’s and laces their fingers together, laying his head on Neil’s shoulder.

“Todd?”

“Yeah?”

“Can we get takeout?”

“If we do, you’re buying.”

“That’s fair. Is Chinese okay?”

Todd smiles a little and lifts his head to look at his fiancé. He nods the affirmative and whispers something in Neil’s ears, prompting his cheeks to flush red. Walt scampers away to the couch and plops down on it. He falls asleep there.

Neil gives Todd’s hand a squeeze, then presses a kiss to each of his cheeks. Todd giggles at it and smiles lovingly at Neil.

This feels like home, he thinks, where the heart is.

taglist below as usual :D @regina-della-poesia @maisietheweltoncow

#anderperry week 2k21 #anderperry week #anderperry #anderperry fanfic #sam does things #my writing

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justarandompjofan · 2 years

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This takes place around 2009, a few years after they graduated from Welton.

Neil wrapped an arm around Todd’s waist, “Morning, love.”

“Morning. I made you coffee, it’s on the table.”

“You’re the best,” Neil said. He was about to kiss him when his phone rang. It was Charlie’s ringtone.

He sighed, “Mind if I pick this up?”

“Not at all.”

“If it were anyone else I would call them back, but since it’s Charli I’m e...for all I know he could’ve tried to befriend a pack of rabid raccoons.”

Todd laughed, “Let me know what he got into this time.”

Neil picked up the phone, “What happened?”

“Is Todd there?” Neil could hear the excitement through the phone and instinctively worried.

“Yeah, hold on, let me put you on speaker,” he turned around, “Okay you’re on.”

“For once I am so glad we live in Vermont.”

“Are you going to elaborate or…?” Neil asked, trying to search through what could have happened.

“They did it. Vermont legalized gay marriage.” They looked at each, breaking into huge smiles. It had taken forever, but it had actually happened. They were able to get married. Todd ran to Neil, throwing his arms around him. They were both on the verge of tears, the happiest tears possible.

“Neil? Are you there?”

Neil wiped away a tear, “Yeah. God, that’s amazing Charlie, thanks for telling us. I’ve got to go.”

“Why-“ He hung up the phone and set it down, turning back to Todd.

“You know what this means don’t you?”

Todd nodded, choking on his words, “Yeah. I do.”

“I know I don't have a ring, but Todd, will you marry me?”

“God yes.”

#dead poets society #dps #anderperry #anderperry week #anderperry week 2k21

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ughgclden · 3 years

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is it too late to participate in anderperry week..? 👁👁

#anderperry week 2k21

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tornfabric · 2 years

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Dead Poets Society (1989) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Todd Anderson/Neil Perry Characters: Todd Anderson, Neil Perry (Dead Poets Society), Charlie Dalton, Richard Cameron, Steven Meeks, Gerard Pitts, Knox Overstreet Additional Tags: Sharing a Bed Summary:

Charlie is clumsy when he’s distracted and now Todd doesn’t have bed to sleep in for the night. What is he going to do?

#anderperry week 2k21 #anderperry #todd anderson #neil perry #The poets are there too :)

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ameliterature · 2 years

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AnderPerry Week 2k21 Day 2: Blind Date

Somewhat rush, maybe has implied bonk, I ALSO SUCK AT KEEPING THE WORD COUNT LOW

Rating: Teen & up

Words: 2532 (OOPS :((( sowwy)

Todd Anderson, a dreary-looking fellow studying under an English degree, was standing outside one of those ‘Dining in the Dark’ restaurants. Before you question why on Earth someone as bleak-minded and as pessimistic as Todd would somehow land him in some gimmicky restaurant, you first have to know one of his friends: Charlie Dalton.

Now Charlie, for as impulsively indulgent, as crude and obscene, and as irritable as Todd would like to avoid, was actually very traditional when it came to love. He didn’t get why so many people relied on apps to match them with their ‘true love’ when he could do it himself. The self-proclaimed matchmaker wanted to make Todd his first successful blind date match.

Well, second, if you count the one time he set his 4 friends up on a double date and the two girls (Ginny and Chris) ended up going home together.

But tonight, Charlie promised Todd that his blind date would be someone he’d really find interesting. With semi-high hopes, Todd trudged himself inside the dim lobby and spoke to the receptionist.

“R-Reservation for Ander-- I mean, Dalton, uh-- party of 2?” Todd corrected himself, not used to the whole fancy dinner talk.

The receptionist nodded, “Right this way, sir.”

As they crossed the black curtains that separated the dining area and the lobby, Todd felt an immense sense of dread. It was not because of the location or the awkwardness of how he had to hold the arm of the waiter-- nothing trivial like that. It was because this was the first time Todd has ever been set up for a blind date.

For all his excessive complaints about his life being stressful, Todd found love being the most complicated aspect of it. He couldn’t hold a conversation to save his life, he was self-conscious about his appearance, the way he makes a lot of unnecessary gestures and that he has trouble with eye-contact.

As Todd cautiously sat down on his chair, he steadily opened his eyes. Of course the room was still pitch black, what was he expecting? So he sighed rather audibly.

“Hello?” A guy’s voice resonated in front of Todd.

Okay, at least Charlie remembered he was into guys, this was 1 good thing.

“H-hi, are… you the blind date Charlie picked out?”

“Yep, Sorry. You’re stuck with me.” The voice chuckled from across the table. “I’m Neil Perry by the way.”

Todd tried his best to allow himself to smile, Neil couldn’t see his crooked teeth or his forehead begin to sweat. “I’m Todd Anderson.”

“Well, Todd, I’m excited to be your blind date tonight.”

“M-me too…”

They started off by trying to order their food. The waiter came by to dictate their menu for them and Todd did his best to remember. Fortunately, Neil remembered every single one of the items listed and helped Todd pick out what he wanted to eat.

As the waiter left, Todd leaned in to whisper: “Thanks, by the way.”

“It’s no biggie, ‘sides, you sounded pretty mortified.”

“Did I?” Todd replied in panic.

Neil stifles his laughter. “I’m kidding, Todd.”

“O-oh, right.”

“Charlie told me you’d be the jittery type. Just relax, okay? I’m not gonna bail on this date just because you can’t pick between garlic chips or a salad.” Neil punctuated, endearingly so.

“Well-- You’re my first blind date ever… I’m just really-- nervous about it.”

“Then I’m a lucky guy.”

Neil was unbearably sweet to Todd. Aside from how well-read and intelligent he was, matching all of Todd’s interests in a lot of things, and the fact his voice sounded so charming that Todd felt like his heart would flutter out of his chest, Neil was incredibly patient with him.

Tood could hear his own heartbeat because of how heightened his hearing was. He figured that was the point of a Blackout Restaurant in the first place. You remove one of your senses and the ones that remain become stronger. He took note of this when he ate the steak Neil ordered for him, revelling in the sanguine taste of the meat and the buttery texture of it as well. The wine made things crisp and punctuated that taste of their food beautifully, thanks again to Neil’s recommendation.

“You’re pretty good at picking food, huh?” Todd commented as he took a bite out of a sinfully decadent chocolate cake. He missed his mouth a couple of times as well but he was glad Neil couldn’t see him.

“Well… I guess you could say I have a good eye for these sorts of things.” Neil chuckled. “But I’m glad you enjoyed this experience with me, Todd.”

It wasn’t just the fact Neil was an overall good person, but it was the fact he saw Todd for who he was. They exchanged bits of their lives, riffling through the noticeable similarities between them. He learned that Neil was a painter, making several paintings each day in a frenzy. Todd told him he was an aspiring writer who had crippling anxiety when it came to publishers.

“Don’t be afraid to reach for your dreams, Todd. You’ll never know when you’ll lose the chance to get this kind of vision in you.” Neil said sincerely and Todd felt his heart skip a beat.

As they finished dinner, they decided to meet outside, to finally see what each other looked like. Todd volunteered to step out first because he needed fresh air while Neil said he just needed to use the bathroom.

Todd stood by the curb in front of the restaurant, nervously awaiting what Neil could look like. Would Neil be handsome? Would Neil be unattractive? Not that it would matter to him, Neil was a great guy and his looks didn’t matter! Oh no… What if Neil wouldn’t think Todd was handsome, or what if Todd’s smile would turn him off? What if he’s not into blondes like him?! All these random thoughts swam in Todd’s head like some children’s pool party, all chaotic and erratic.

“Todd?” Neil’s voice caught Todd’s attention. He turns around to see a jaw-dropping handsome brunette man, wearing a black turtleneck shirt under a brown coat and… holding a cane.

“Neil..?” Todd, still trying to understand what’s going on. Neil’s eyes were beautifully dark, the street lamp’s light shining magnificently on it, yet they stared off into the distance in Todd’s direction. Slowly, Neil puts on his sunglasses and carefully follows Todd’s voice.

“Yeah… I’m sorry…”

“N-no! Don’t be sorry! You’re unbelievably handsome, really-- it’s just… I wasn’t expecting my blind date to be…”

“Actually blind?” Neil’s soft chuckle made Todd’s heart skip a beat.

“I-- well, yeah but-- Wait, you said you were a painter… How?”

“Well, I was a painter, still kinda am. I’ve still got a bit of my vision left, I was able to see how shocked you were, well, at least I think you were shocked.”

“How much can you see?”

“Imagine like a severely near-sighted person’s vision but like it gets worse the more I open my eyes. The doctors say it’s something about my eyes being so sensitive to light that it burns them over time or something.”

“Wow… I’m sorry…” Todd inched closer to Neil.

“It’s alright! Gives me more urgency, y’know, helps me appreciate my talent more.”

Todd could see Neil’s passion clearly, how jubilant he was about his life despite his body practically demolishing his career. Todd felt awful that he’s been brooding this long when it came to his life as a writer, when all he’d worry about was if publishers were going to care about his works while Neil was literally going to lose his eyesight-- the one thing he needs for his art career.

“Could you walk me home? My house is nearby.” Neil asked, putting his hand out to hold Todd’s.

“O-Of course!”

They walked to the building Neil mentioned, the walk was long enough so Todd could hold Neil’s hand for a bit without needing a reason to let go yet.

As they reach the foot of his building, Todd tried to let go of Neil’s hand but the brunette kept their hands locked.

Their faces were close and Todd could see Neil’s eyes squint through his sunglasses.

“Y’know… My room’s pretty dark and stuff, it helps my eyes see better.”

“That’s good to know,” Todd commented, still not getting what Neil’s saying.

“Did you… wanna see some of my paintings?”

Todd thought, for a moment, this was a genuine offer, because he actually did want to see Neil’s works despite how he knew Neil’s sight was diminishing. But then he feels how warm Neil’s arm was pressed against him.

Neil slowly leads Todd into his apartment, carefully counting his steps leading to his room. Todd marvelled at how meticulous Neil was to memorizing things, how he’s already begun accepting his fate.

When they entered Neil’s apartment, it was as dark as Neil described it, almost as dark as the restaurant they were from. After hanging his walking cane by the entrance of his home, Neil started to shed himself of his coat. He turns around to coyly beckon Todd to follow him to his couch.

Todd followed suit, stumbling out of his own coat. He noticed a few of Neil’s paintings by the walls and on the corners of the apartment, how bright and saturated they were despite the dark room. Neil was incredibly talented, Todd could see that, and that made Neil’s words sting even more.

Neil stood by the window, just beside the couch and motioned Todd ‘to come hither’.

Todd stood in front of him, watching how Neil’s eyes squinted at the sight of him. He was trying to see Todd’s face. He inches a bit closer to Neil.

“Better?” Todd whispered.

“Not quite.” Neil shakes his head innocently. Todd takes another step closer, now just a couple of inches from each other’s chests.

Neil could make out Todd’s eyes a bit more, the contrast of the light outside and the dark shadows it gave Todd made him look like a piece of art. A blurry piece of art. He inches just a bit more.

“Close enough for you?” Todd smiles, seeing how Neil’s head was already tilted and extremely close to his face.

“Am I allowed to be this close?” Neil asked him, his nose bumping Todd’s. Neil could start to make out Todd’s eyes. They were… light… like a blue of sorts. They were light enough that Neil could tell they weren’t dark like his own.

“I’d prefer you closer.” Todd whispered before closing the gap between their lips.

They both closed their eyes, savoring the kiss like they did their date. Even if Neil closed his eyes, he saw various colors and stars forming behind his eyelids-- almost like a galaxy that signified the feeling of kissing Todd.

It was all stars and galaxy-like blobs behind Neil’s eyes. As they took to the bedroom, they kept everything dark, not turning on the lights to keep both what little vision Neil had left and magnify the warmth of their fingertips. Neil kept his eyes closed most of the time, letting Todd lead, guiding his hands carefully and placing kisses by his ears.

Todd followed his example, closing his eyes when the moment called for just the overwhelming surrender for their bodies. Todd, too, saw stars and galaxies behind his eyes that night.

The next morning, when Neil opened his eyes, all was still blurry, except for Todd’s face. It was still incredibly unclear but somehow his brain could still make out his face, his nose bridge, his strawberry blonde hair, his delicate blue eyes opening.

“Good morning,” Todd mumbles, turning to Neil carefully.

“Morning, Todd.” Neil said, still keeping his eyes on Todd despite the brightness of the room.

“Watcha’ starin’ at?” Todd smiled shyly, nervously brushing his hair away from his forehead.

“You, dummy. How could I not? You’re really handsome.”

“How are you so sure? Thought you couldn’t see?” Todd raised an eyebrow.

“Hmmm…” Neil pursed his lips before placing his hands on Todd’s face. He traced his nose, from the tip to the middle of his eyebrows. Then, his thumb and index finger massaged Todd’s browbones before Neil kneaded both sides of Todd’s cheekbones traced the sides of his face towards his chin. “Yep, I can confirm, you are very handsome.”

Todd‘s grin grew even wider, kissing Neil’s hands in the process.

“Thank you by the way,” Neil closed his eyes yet his face was still towards Todd. “For not leaving so quickly.”

“What? Why would I?” Todd brought his hand up to Neil’s cheek, slightly surprising him a bit.

“Well… It’s just that… All the other people Charlie set me up with… They all left once they knew I was blind. “

“Neil.” Todd’s voice became stern. “You’re the most profound and most interesting person I’ve ever met. Even before I found out you were blind.”

“R-really?” Neil peeked through his eyelids a bit.

“Seriously,” Todd brought his arms around Neil’s waist, hugging him closer. “And… If you’d let me… I don’t mind going on more dates with you.”

Perhaps it was the fact Neil was blind or that his eyes were shut that Todd could confidently speak so courageously, but it could also be the fact Todd’s never been so surely and positively in love before. Neil could feel Todd’s palms get clammy and fidgety around his waist, despite sounding so suave just now.

“I’d like that. But this time, we’re picking a better restaurant.” Neil smiled again, nuzzling up to Todd. As Neil buried his face by Todd’s beating chest, he could hear Todd’s heart tell him he loved him back.

That’s how Todd met the love of his life.

Todd found his life-long muse in Neil Perry. He saw Neil’s determination as he struggled to finish his last few paintings, endlessly putting together works of art that varied from blobby portraits to abstract colors.

Neil’s inspiring words helped Todd get out of his writing-slump, he got to be the first to hear Todd’s first book before getting him to finally publish it. Todd learned to truly enjoy being alive because Neil was there to help him appreciate things more. He was infatuated by how Neil shared his inclination to poetic experiences. Todd marveled at Neil’s eloquently-made speech during his last exhibition.

And Todd loved Neil as they held each other on the last day he had his vision.

“Todd, I’m really happy that you’re here. That you’re the last thing I’ll ever see.”

“Come on… Don’t say that like you’re dying…” Todd caressed Neil’s cheek, watching his now-pale eyes scan Todd’s features.

“Well… It kind of is like dying… Like I’m losing a part of myself. But I gained some of it back, when I met you.”

“I won’t leave you, y’know. You’re literally my boyfriend.” Todd smiled.

“Well, yeah, for now.” Neil smirks, watching Todd’s face turn bewildered.

“Huh, what?”

Neil pulled out a small velvet box from his pocket, carefully opening it in Todd’s line of sight. One of the last things Neil saw was a teary-eyed Todd nodding.

End.

taglist: @anderperrytheplatypus, @poetrusicperry, @poetofthedyingstars @time-plus-night @auxctor @she-nuwanda @maisietheweltoncow

@cupiiid @nik-knacks @justarandompjofan @iguanamuppet @nocturnalnewsiestrash @deadpoetsbythelakes @tall-my-beloved @theluminoussunflower @andersonsdeskset @palinoic-poet @toddtakefive @gerardpitts @chloe-octavia @@feathers-arts-52 @jegerepplet @deadpoetsbythelakes @pelicanchaos @the-cat-sat-on-the-mat @spaced-out-state @nee-naw-nee-naw-beepbeep @a-cowboy-needs-a-hat @tuskofthyme

#anderperry fanfic #anderperry #dps #anderperry fic #dead poets society #fanfic #dps fic #anderperry week 2k21 #anderperry week #anderperry week 2k21 day 2 #anderperry week 2k21 day 2 blind date #blind date #the drawing isn't the best i draw but hey

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backseatloversz · 2 years

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smth super sketchy for a late anderperry week 2k21 day two; blind date :)

hhhuhauhah get it bc.....they r on a date and neil is blind.....ok

todd teases him 4 his new glasses the doctor said he should start wearing more often, saying he looks like a dad, then very casually says we should have a daughter. neil doesnt miss a beat responding a daughter and a son. n todd echoes in agreement; daughter and son. and that is that

taglist my beloveds :) @charlies-cigarette @finding-an-angle @in-love-with-their-relationship @babo0shka @aedan-mills @nothing-gonna-wake-me-now @squidwards-fave-tentacle @cresswell-for-life @tuskofthyme once again if i missed u or messed up ur @ or u wanna be added lmk :)

#anderperry week #anderperry week 2k21 #anderperry #todd anderson #neil perry #dead poets society #dps #dps fanart #dps headcanons #art #sketch #jbs art tag #cowboy posts

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poetofthedyingstars · 3 years

Text

hehe here’s fluff for u,,, i didn’t proof read this btw so notice what u notice.

taglist: @aedan-mills @crispin-kreme @theluminoussunflower

“I don’t want to go,” Todd whines as he lays his back on the bed. “Come on, Cam, let’s stay indoors and sleep.”

Cameron looked at him, exhausted and patted his shoulders as if to say ‘i want that too but’. “Charlie, Todd says he doesn’t want to go.”

Charlie ran in their room, hands on his comb and hair. “Why? I thought you said it was okay? I already promised to you that it’s nothing batshit!”

Todd avoided their gaze. “I dunno,” he said, almost a whisper. “Blind dates are weird.”

“And saving people in Halloween costumes isn't?” Charlie eyed him and snickered.

Cameron glared at him. “I swear to God- I’m going to strangle you with your most hated halloween costume.”

Todd chuckled. “First of all, may I remind you that the costumes are your idea? It was also for the kids! And, secondly, blind dates are different. I need to share interests, talk, chill- whatever. It’s exhausting! I don’t even know who I am meeting.”

Charlie, done fixing his hair, was putting on his suit. “Alright, let’s make a deal. I know this guy by heart- he’s really nice. So, if anything happens that makes you uncomfortable, we’ll fetch you up immediately. Is that okay?”

Todd sat up and looked at his friends and pursued his lips. “Fine, I’m already dressed up anyways.”

Charlie smiled and clasped his hands. “Great, Toddy! Also, Cam, honey, will you help me with the ties, please?”

Cameron stood up to help Charlie and grunted, saying, “You know, you should really learn how to do your ties.”

Charlie just smiled cheekily and simply shook his head. Todd sighed. Always being with his two married-like bestfriends could sometimes trigger jealousy. That’s why Charlie offered a blind date to him. Todd hesitated at first but well, he figured, if he doesn’t try he’d probably be stuck with these two. Plus, if it fails, he’s never trying it again. Simple as that.

After a whole week of a bit of work - he might get a rest tonight. And hopefully, love too.

Todd tapped his feet on the floor, uneasily. The restaurant was full and the two had already left him for their own date. He texted them again, just to make sure he’s not going to get stood up.

T: “What is he wearing?”

Chicken boi: “IDK bro he said something green u jus chill there k”

T: “It's taking too long, should I leave?”

Chicken boi: “toddy you’ve only been there for 3 minutes. calm down you'll be fine”

Todd sighed and put back the phone in his pocket. He wished he was sleeping right now. In his comfortable bed, while the TV is on, showing whatever’s on the godforsaken news. Or maybe just read a book on the cozy sofa. Or maybe watching a movie while wearing his sweaters and socks. He sighed again. Anywhere but here, he supposed.

Suddenly, his thoughts were interrupted when somebody sat on the chair in front of him. He’s incredibly handsome, wearing a green sweater tucked in leather pants.

‘It must be the guy Charlie was talking about,’ he thought.

“Hi,” Todd forced an awkward smile. The guy looked at him, seemed uninterested, but forced a smile too. They both stayed quiet as one did not know what to say and the other seemed to be bothered by other things.

Todd bit the insides of his cheeks and decided to break the silence.

“Look-”

“So-”

They both said in unison. Todd gestured his hand to let the Guy go on first. They cleared their throat and sat up straight.

“Okay,” they coughed again. “So, you look pretty nice, yea… cause erm, see, I’m having dinner with my buddies here and I forgot to have a reservation…”

Oh, my god! This is the worst date ever. Todd stopped listening after they said something about inviting someone else over. Because that means Todd probably needs to leave or endure the whole evening with more strangers. If they ask Todd to stay, he would just leave. The Guy stopped talking after a minute.

“... so, like, i hope you understand my situation- like-”

Todd stopped him midway. “It’s fine, you can have this table.”

The Guy looked at him as if hesitating. “Really?”

Todd raised both of his eyebrows. “Sure. whatever. I’m leaving anyway.”

“Oh- uhm, thank you,” they smiled but Todd didn’t spare them any attention anymore and left the resto. He didn’t even look back.

Walking away, he felt very frustrated and embarrassed and had the urge to rip his face off- which is becoming a common occurence now. What a jerk. He didn’t even ask Todd’s number or say sorry.

With no ride and purpose for the night, Todd searched for the nearest convenient store and bought Mogu-mogu. He bought two which are both strawberry flavored. He walked back to the resto’s parking lot. It’s spacious and eerily lonely so Todd chose to sit there. Plus, if he ever decides to call Charlie- which probably is not going to happen- it’d be easier to find him there.

For now, he’s just going to sit here and wait an hour or two. Maybe just until his drink ran out. He sighed. Oh, to be in his bed right now. His only problems are what he is going to say when they ask him about the date.

He stood up- walking back and forth. His shoulders slumped and his face looked like he was bombed by the sky and earth. He walked left and he walked right. He was so lost in thought he didn’t notice someone was walking behind him. They bumped into each other. Todd’s drink spilled on the other one.

“Shit! I’m so sorry!”

He heard them sighed. “It’s okay, I swear. I’m harvesting a lot of bad luck today.”

It wasn’t okay with Todd. “I’m really, really, sorry. I’ll- I’ll buy you a shirt- is that okay?”

They chuckled and looked at Todd. “Well, sure. I don't have a choice, eh?”

Todd smiled. “Yeah…” he mumbled, embarrassed. They looked at each other for a moment. Todd swore that if he’s blushing right now, he’ll bury himself later when he gets home. Because, this beautiful man that came from god-knows-where, probably from the stars or a sculpture from the Gods itself.

“So…?”

“Yeah, uhm, right, shall we… go now?”

They went to a nearby dress shop they could find. Todd said he’ll buy anything they want.

“Oh, don’t worry, I’m not a very dress-up person,” is what they replied but surely it was not true because they’ve been picking clothes one after another. Which is fine. But, you know.

Todd sighed and promised himself not to get out of his house for at least a month. This is the worst day of his life and if this bottom rock can still have a downhill, he'll lose it.

Sitting down on one of the benches in the store while his new found friend fits whatever clothes he wants in the fitting room, he checked his phone.

New messages from Chicken boi (charlie).

Chicken boi messages:

yo??? how's it goin?

my guy just texted, he'll be late

he's wearing a brown flannel he said

u ok?? guess u both r busy

Todd widened his eyes when he saw that the messages were not far from recent— so, like— the guy from before at the resto, wasn't it? Todd facepalmed.

Well, it's something to be thankful for! However, if that weren't his date— then, who?!

As if on cue, the one Todd bumped into just came out from the fitting closet, wearing a new polo.

“Is this okay?” they asked.

“It looks great on you,” Todd answered with a smile. They sat beside him.

“Well, hopefully, my charm would swoon my date and forget eventually about why I'm late.”

Something hit Todd.

(More like, todd.exe broke.)

“Uh, do you know any Charlie, perchance?”

“Wait… Don't tell me you're Charlie's blind date?”

Todd felt a refreshing warm water was thrown at him. Felt relieved. “Yeah, well, YOU'RE Charlie's blind date!”

They looked at each other for a second and laughed.

“I'm Neil Perry,” he said.

“Todd Anderson,” he paused and smiled. “You won't believe what happened to me before you came.”

Neil smiled widely and laughed. “You won't believe what happened to me either—”

Before they could catch up to one another's experience, one of the saleslady approached them. She cleared her throat.

“Are you going to buy that, sir?”

“Uhm, yes, sorry!”

They gave each other a meaningful look as they hid their laughter. Todd felt so silly right now. He never enjoyed rollercoasters but this day was like one.

When they got out of the store, Neil offered to drive somewhere in the park. To stargaze he said. Todd agreed, of course. Better to spend the date wisely, right?

The green grasses stretched under the car where they laid up to the forests behind them. Like the parking lot where they met, it was spacious and eerily lonely— but the mood changed. Todd forgot how he yearned to be cozy in his apartment, he felt pretty cozy right now, with Neil, and that's great.

It's great, he supposed. After a long day, he found peace.

“Is it just me or was this night crazy?”

Todd nodded his head while smiling. “Definitely! So, I was waiting for the resto before I was in the parking lot right? So this guy came up to me, wearing a green sweater and just sat down— not saying anything! I thought it was you. Then, I don't know, he started talking about forgetting to reserve, blah blah. So I just left and gave him the table for them and their friends! I was so freaking annoyed and embarrassed.”

Neil chuckled. “I'm so sorry for that! But, if that happened to me, I would've done the same. Now, on my part, my friend borrowed the outfit I was supposed to wear tonight because they have a gala and his supposed outfit— you won't believe this— got eaten by moths! So, of course, yeah I gave it to him. I have another outfit, after all, but get this, I went outside and then this dude from our apartment spilled white paint all over me. I had to change again! And my car had problems before I could even leave. It was a mess.”

Todd laughed. “Oh my God— maybe blind dates aren't for us?”

“Yeah… we still met though. I'm glad.”

Todd glanced at him. “Me too.”

And then they were silent. Sighing while the stars stared back at them. Todd wondered if they were singing to them, right now. Whispering a new story to the Gods. Weaving the tale of this chaotic and unlucky couple in the making.

“Can I play some music?” Neil asked after a moment. He whispered a soft yes.

Neil got down from the roof of the car. Todd heard the door open and ruffle and then some music playing.

Todd was sure now that the stars sang for them.

“I know it's all withered and dying now, but here,” he said and handed a bouquet to Todd. It was lilacs. Todd loved lilacs. In the middle of the flowers, there was a small card. He took it and read it.

“Passing stranger! You do not know how longingly I look upon you // you must be he I was seeking, or she I was seeking, (it comes to me as of a dream) // I have somewhere surely lived a life of joy with you // All is recall’d as we flit by each other, fluid, affectionate, chaste, matured.

Yours Truly, Neil Perry :)”

Todd bit his lip. “Well, this is very sweet-” he didn't know what to say. “And, Walt Whitman too?”

“You got a man of taste,” he smirked.

Todd chuckled. “True, true.”

They both laid on top of the car in silence again. Todd loved how peaceful they are now— felt like they belonged nowhere in the universe; nowhere in time and it's just the two of them. He felt a strange comfort in him. It's nice. It wasn't totally a disaster, after all.

“Know what I was thinking?”

“Hm?”

“I bet it would be more chaotic like this when we get a second date.”

Todd smiled. They have a second date.

“Me too.”

BONUS:

Neil woke up with peace that morning. Not tired, motivated, even! Which doesn't happen a lot.

“Good morning, Meeks,” Neil greeted his friend, Meeks.

“Morning, Neil! Oh, by the way, there was a delivery for you,” Meeks said.

“What? I didn't order anything, though?”

“I dunno, it was a box. PITTSIE, can you please get it?”

“Hold on-”

Pitts entered the kitchen with a box in his hand.

“I think it's from Todd Anderson,” says Pitts, reading the mail sticker. Neil felt like something kicked him. He was fully awake.

He snatched the box from Pitts’ hand and opened it. It was a green coat with one pink carnation on top of it. It comes with a handwritten letter too.

It reads:

“I am not to speak to you, I am to think of you when I sit alone or wake at night alone // I am to wait, I do not doubt I am to meet you again, I am to see to it that I do not lose you.”

And, on the back, it says:

“For our second date. x Todd Anderson.”

Neil felt like it's going to be the best and happiest day in his entire existence.

#anderperry week 2k21 #anderperry week #anderperry week day 2 blind date #todd anderson #neil perry #sig writes #ace 🧱#anderperry #steven meeks #stephen meeks #charlie dalton #hes chimken boi #richard cameron #gerard pitts #guess where and when knox showed up in this #spark spark #hehe enjoy

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regina-della-poesia · 3 years

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✦─day one: childhood friends

✦─wordcount: 2.2k+

✦─genre: fluff and angst (idk how this happened this was suppoused to be fluffy only im-), friends to lovers(?), unrequited love or so do they think, modern highschool au

✦─fandom: dead poets society

✦─pairing: anderperry (todd anderson x neil perry)

✦─summary: he knew it was wrong. god, was it so wrong. he knew from the beginning and yet… he couldn’t stop. he couldn’t stop getting lost in that smile, getting drunk on that laugh, getting blinded by his talent. he would rather keep his secret until the day he died than possibly destroy the bond he had created with the most beautiful star he’ll ever lay eyes on.

or: todd is in love, and he highly doubts neil feels the same way

✦─inspired by the song bags by clairo

✦─banner made by @regina-dei-fiori (aka, moi), beta reading done by the beautiful @iemondropsss <33

✦─ao3 link to be added soon

a/n: hello there, pals lol

so, since this is gonna be my first appearance in the dps writing scene, i shall present myself. hi, im regina, i very recently fell down the rabbit hole that is the dps fandom, and writing is what i do best :D

i decided to hop into writing something for the fandom by joining anderperry week very very late sjfhdkjdghd. tis gonna be a hot mess but i’ll work it out somehow :”))

i wanted to mention before starting, i would recommend watching the genius interview of the song this is based on. i think it adds dept to the whole story so go check it out if you’d like!!

anywho, i really hope yall enjoy this very humble one shot i wrote. happy reading uwu

Can you see me? I'm waiting for the right time I can't read you, but if you want, the pleasure's all mine Can you see me using everything to hold back? I guess this could be worse Walking out the door with your bags

-Bags, by Clairo

You know the kinds of friends you have at each stage of life? You have the friends that you played with in kindergarten, then there's those you meet in elementary school that you never really see again unless you make a serious effort to keep in touch. Then there are the friends who you meet in middle school and highschool, who have more potential to stay with you as years go by. From there comes college friends, coworkers, and so on and so forth.

And after all of those friends, there’s Neil. When Pitts talks about how Meeks and him have known each other since middle school, or when Knox tells them that he and Cameron started hanging out when they started highschool, Todd can’t help but feel strange when he calls Neil a “childhood friend” or a “friend who he met in elementary school.” It never felt like it did justice to the relationship they have.

Neil was… He was more than just “a friend”. Not only because Todd now knew that the feelings he had for him were (very unfortunately) more than just friendly. Even if that weren’t the case, it would still be unfair to give Neil such a simple title.

They both met when they entered elementary school. Todd had always been a rather small child: he was always loomed over his classmates, and people often thought he was even younger than he was. He had just moved to the town of Welton, and didn’t know anyone. So it wasn’t surprising that Mrs. Anderson almost had a heart attack when, just a couple of minutes after arriving on the first day of school, a taller kid came from behind Todd and picked him up like he was nothing more than a doll.

-Hi! I’m Neil, what’s your name?-, the other kid said, now holding Todd’s hand and running away with him to catch their first class. Neither of them remembered the day themselves, but Todd’s mom would tell them the story at almost every sleepover.

Neil had always been an “odd” kid. He was very open about his opinions, sometimes a little bit too open. This had always surprised Todd, as he wouldn’t even fathom saying things like “That dress doesn’t really look good on you, Miss Lopez!” or “I wish dad would treat me more like a grownup.” When Neil would get told off for saying those things, it hurt to see the genuine guilt in his eyes.

-I didn’t wanna hurt anyone’s feelings, I mean it…-, he would say when Todd would find him crouching down on a corner of the school's patio.

-It’s okay, Neil, I believe you!-, Todd would respond while patting his friend’s (friend? best friend?) back.

Then Neil would look at him like he had just told him the secrets of the universe.

-Really…?

-Of course! You’re my friend, and I know you wouldn’t hurt anyone on purpose. I believe you.

And he meant it. He always did. Every time Todd would tell him: I believe you, Neil. Todd knew the way Neil would carry spiders out of the classroom, balancing a cup over paper on his palm, or the way he defended that cat who lived in a nearby alleway from the harassment of older kids. Or the way he worried when Todd fell from his bike while he was still learning to ride it.

It was also surprising how much of a rebel Neil actually was, considering how strict of an upbringing his father gave was.

-I made an Instagram account!-, Todd remembers Neil saying one day during a fifth grade recess. Todd could’ve sworn he was going to pass out.

-What!? Neil, are you insane? Your parents are gonna kill you!

-Not if they don’t find out. Besides, if I don’t ask them, I won’t be disobeying them, now will I?

Todd had to stop himself from hitting that boy in the face, just so he could erase that dumb smirk Neil would always do when he knew he was doing something mischievous.

Of course, around two days after that conversation, Neil arrived at Todd’s doorstep with tears in his eyes. On those days, they would stay inside Todd’s bedroom for hours, either playing board games, or laying down on the floor while making stories up. Neil never stopped doing rebellious things though, no matter the scoldings. In fact, they only encouraged him to rebel even more.

-And then, the Dragon Princess defeated the King Lizard in an epic battle that lasted just mere seconds after it started!!-, Neil would exclaim, while imitating explosion sounds and making exaggerated hand gestures. Without noticing, Todd would always pay attention to the way Neil’s eyes would light up when telling those stories

-And, she did all of that while never getting her beautiful magic dress dirty-, Todd would add between laughs.

-Damn sure she did!!

And damn sure she would. Because as time went by, those stories became performances. Neil would steal utensils from his kitchen to use as weapons (something he would also get scolded for), and Jeffrey would help them with the costumes. Sometimes, they would even go as far as forcing the older brother to film said plays. Every time Neil would make the both of them sit down to rewatch those tapes, Todd would feel the worst second hand embarrassment ever.

-C’mon Todothy, you look so cute as the Princess Dragon!

-I think the word you’re searching for is “fucking stupid”, Perry.

And then Neil would laugh while pulling Todd close to his side, by wrapping his arm around his shoulders. And then Todd would notice the way his heartbeat would start going stupidly faster and faster.

The truth was that Todd didn’t mind watching those tapes. Hell, he never minded being any role he played. He would even go as far as to say that he loved doing all of it. Not because it was his favorite thing in the world to dress as a princess and breathe imaginary fire, but because it was important to Neil. It was because it meant something to him, and everything that was important to Neil became important to Todd.

They never outright said it, but it was always a thought that would run in each other's minds: “You’re the only that has ever got me, you’re the only one that gets me, and you’re the only one that’ll ever get me.” Once middle school ended, they were both enrolled in different highschools, and it didn't take long for both of them to make new friends. But Todd would never have the same connection with Cameron, and Neil would never talk about his family situation with Charlie. Those long night video calls, those memories, those conversations; they were all reserved for both of them only. Nothing more, nothing less.

So you can imagine Todd’s concern at how, on June 12th, Neil wouldn’t answer any texts or phone calls.

-You okay, man?

Todd looked up from his phone, checking his notifications for the millionth time that day, completely forgetting to close his locker’s door after taking the books for the next class. Cameron was the one to ask the question, obvious worry showing on his face.

-Ah.. Yeah, it’s nothing-, Todd responded as he shoved his phone back in his pocket, closing his locker door in one quick move shortly after.

-Are you sure? You’ve been really out of it all day, and you didn’t even touch your food when we had lunch.

Cameron knew Todd’s modus operandi at that point of their friendship. He wouldn’t often answer honestly when people asked those kinds of questions, especially if the person asking was beloved to Todd. And Todd knew Cameron wouldn’t stop bothering him until he told him the truth. There’s no way to get out of this, is there?

They stayed like that for a few, silent moments before Todd had the courage to give an honest answer. He sighed in defeat, looked up, and then proceeded to talk.

-It’s just that…-, he fiddled with his fingers while explaining. -You remember Neil, right?

-Of course, Todd-, “you talk about him all the time” left as the implicit comment. -What’s up with him?

-It’s just that…-, Todd laughed in a bitter way. -Today’s his birthday and… He hasn’t answered my texts, and I’m kinda worried, y’know?

His sight went back to the floor, and then he felt Cameron’s hand patting his back. Cameron wasn’t sure as to how to comfort people, but Todd always appreciated his efforts.

-Hey, it’s okay man. I’m sure he’ll let you know what came up once he gets the opportunity, and you know that, right?

Todd nodded, trying hard not to worry so much. Cameron knew a little of Neil’s troubled situation, as Todd had only ever shared what Neil had told him was okay to tell. He didn’t know the details, but he didn’t need any to understand the situation. Which is something that Todd will forever be grateful for.

The sinking feeling in the bottom of Todd’s stomach didn’t disappear though, and he carried it all through the next class, as well as the last one. Todd himself knew the anxiety was pointless: Neil’s probably just had a busy day. He was on the school’s newspaper, and he was also both on the soccer and theatre team. Plus, he was pretty well liked around his own highschool, so he was also probably washed with gifts and celebrations.

But the late night phone calls with shaky voices and scared whispers would always come and go in Todd’s memory. It was like a broken record that had the mission to make him go insane. And then the unsaid phrase that would always linger in the air after the storm had passed, when they were cracking jokes to make each other feel better. With runny noses and puffy eyes, Todd always had to stop himself from saying those words. Those three damned words.

He had to promise himself to never say them. Not to Neil, not ever. It was too dangerous. But as he watched the blue sky from the classroom’s window, he couldn’t help but let his mind wander. The picture of a perfectly made jaw, of dark brown eyes in which he could get lost in for hours if he had permission, of hair that felt like clouds under Todd’s fingertips. A boyish smile, dimples on a white canvas, a touch that could burn down a whole forest if it wanted to. Those lips, those moles, that magic.

He then had to snap out of it. It was a cycle that he now was accustomed to. A cycle that he would have to get accustomed to, whether he liked it or not. Impossible, Todd. You know all of that is impossible. That jaw would never be for him to praise. The permission would never be granted, as those eyes aren’t his to get lost in. He would have to get used to the softness of cotton only; the future wouldn’t let those friendly hair touches exist anymore. A dimpled smile that would become a shared one, and a fire that would never start. How Neil tasted wasn’t his business to find, where Neil's constellations ended wasn’t for him to know.

Neil’s magic would never be for him to hold.

Cameron was right at the end; Todd knew once he saw a disoriented guy, dressed with a soccer’s team hoodie, searching for someone in the multitude of kids trying to get home.

-Todothy!!-, he screamed, as he almost tackled Todd to the floor with that death-grip type of hug that would leave anyone without air.

-What happened to you, Neil? You haven’t answered any of my texts-, Todd said once he was able to breathe again.

-Yeah, I’m really sorry. Charlie wanted to surprise me by shouting happy birthday straight into my ear and I was sitting by the fountain and…

Before even finishing his sentence, Neil took out a plastic bag full of rice from his hoodie’s pocket, his phone buried inside of it.

-Oh.

-Oh indeed, my good friend-, Neil gestured for Todd to give him his backpack, and he hesitated a bit before giving in.

-Where are your other things, anyway?

-Ah yeah, my mates from the newspaper covered me so I could get out early. I went home to get the rice, and also to leave my books there. Thought you would need some help with your things-, he responded, matter of factly. Todd had to blink twice to process things. All these years knowing each other and yet Neil kept surprising him.

You’re too nice, I swear to fucking god.

-I… Are you sure it’s okay? I mean, I can carry my own stuff. Plus, it’s your birth...

-Shush Anderson!-. Neil made a dramatic stance, emphasizing each word as if he was a king saying a speech to his people. -As today’s birthday boy, I declare my first wish of the day to be... For Todd to get some help with his school bag!

Todd couldn’t help but roll his eyes while smiling an uncontrollable amount.

-You’re an insufferable idiot, Perry. You know that, right?

-Oh, shut it! You know you love me.

And he did. He knew it when they went to ride their bikes around the neighbourhood that evening. He knew it when they arrived at his house and layed down on Todd’s bedroom floor. He knew it when they watched a scary movie in the living room while sharing a blanket. He knew it when Neil fell asleep by his side, peace showering his features.

I know I love you, Neil Perry. That’s the problem.

@cupiiid

im only tagging this fella bcs they started the anderperry week, but should i do a taglist??

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aedan-mills · 2 years

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Me being the only one who made the day 5 prompt bonk-worthy lasdjlkasjd

i'd say im sorry but the only way you'd read the bonk version is if you went to my ao3 ahahah (pg version is on my lit acc)

#anderperry #anderperry week 2021 #anderperry week 2k21 #anderperry week

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sapphicnoel · 2 years

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anderperry week day 6: sick!fic or hurt/comfort

A/N: hello lovelies. welcome to day 6 of anderperry week! it just turned midnight of the 24th for me, but i wanted to post early in case tumblr decides to be a little bitch again. anyway, for today i bring you the 2nd option: hurt/comfort. so... beware of angst. there's a happy resolution, though, I promise. also: i nabbed a couple dialogue bits from here to jumpstart my writing process. enjoy, i'm quite proud of this one :D - xx, sam

‘I’m okay, Neil,” Todd repeats for the millionth time. It wouldn’t have gotten to this point if Neil would stop pestering him, but... Todd supposes the other shoe had to drop eventually. This is what he gets, honestly. “Stop lying to me!” Neil shouts after a long moment of silence, a new fierceness rising within him. “Stop telling me you’re okay. I know you, Todd! I know you’re looking right at me and lying. This isn’t like you. What’s wrong?”

Neil looks about as terrible as Todd feels, now. His eyes are wet with tears and his face… Man, Todd hopes he never has to see that sort of expression ever again. It strikes his very soul, chilling him to the bone. The hurt on the face of someone he loves so dearly does something to his fragile heart. It gets to all the parts of him that love Neil and the parts that wish he hadn’t spent the last half hour lying to his face. Todd sighs, barely beginning to accept such a mistake. He looks up at his boyfriend, their gazes meeting. Todd stares at his crushed expression for a minute, taking it all in. A tear rolls down Neil’s cheek, unbidden.

Oh, no, no, no. Fucking hell, Todd thinks as a sense of dread and desperation wash over him. He wishes he could take it all back and just tell Neil the fucking truth.

“Neil, please don’t cry,” He whispers. “I hate it when you cry.”

That part is true. Todd hates to see Neil cry, this handsome young man who’s smart and kind and so many things Todd hasn’t managed to be yet. His brown eyes are best seen under bright stage lights, not filled with tears in the dimness of a cheap floor lamp.

Neil, though, stays silent. The silence says so much; it’s clear how hurt he truly is.

You did that to him, Todd’s mind reminds him, you made Neil cry.

That’s when he finally shatters. Todd slumps forward with the weight of the emotion as he starts to cry, gross sobs wracking his thin frame. Neil is there to hold him up. He envelopes him in a warm, welcoming embrace. Neil’s always been there for him. From fights with his father to his older brother’s sudden illness. It makes the hurting that much worse. As if Todd didn’t feel bad enough about this whole thing. Damn.

“I’m sorry, Neil,” Todd sobs into his shoulder, “I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to, to be a b-burden. M-my dad called this morning to tell me that Jeffrey’s taken a turn for the worse. I didn’t want to say anything, because you just got that new role you were so excited for, and-”

“Hey. Everything’s gonna be alright, I promise,” Neil cuts off Todd’s rambling swiftly, but not unkindly. “I’m sorry I yelled at you, baby. I’ll wait for you here if you need to make the trip back home. Take as long as you need. I’ll always be here for you. You’re never a burden to me, okay? Never.”

Todd’s too stunned to stay anything in response, he sits there for a minute and processes Neil’s words. Even after six years together, Neil’s patience and devotion never waver. Todd often wonders what he must have done in a past life to deserve someone like him. In this life, though, Neil holds him through the onslaught of tears. And everything that comes after. Even as Todd stops crying and shaking, finally going still in his arms, Neil doesn’t let go. Todd’s never loved him like this. A rush of pure affection washed over him. The heater clicks on, but they stay right where they are, sitting on their bed. A faint bell-like noise grows louder, and Walt comes in to lay on the blanket at their feet. He curls into a ball and falls asleep; typical cat behavior.

Todd sniffles and says, his voice rough, “Thank you. A-and I understand why you were angry with me.”

He rests his head in the crook of Neil’s shoulder for a little while longer to prolong this tender touch. Neil’s hand runs over Todd’s back soothingly, drawing circles on the skin under Todd’s Welton Academy alumnus sweatshirt. It’s comforting in the midst of this emotional roller coaster. It reminds Todd of their first year away from home and living in New York. There were many fights and many more sleepless nights, but they got through it. Just like they’ll make it through this rough patch. Todd makes it a point to remember to call his mom later. It looks like he needs to get a plane ticket for Vermont. His hopes that his older brother would get better are all but dashed now. Neil’s voice jolts Todd back into this moment and out of his head.

“There’s no need to thank me, my darling,” Neil replies as gently as ever, “I love you. We don’t have to talk about anything if you don’t want to. But I’ll be here when you’re ready, okay?”

“Okay.”

Todd pulls away from him a little, then presses his lips to Neil’s. Neil smiles into it and kisses back just as fervently.

They part all too soon, the moment of complete closeness gone in a flash. Neil smiles softly and swipes away a tear from Todd’s cheek with his thumb. Todd blushes at the gesture, the skin warm.

“Neil?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you, too.”

Neil wraps his arms around Todd again and squeezes him by the middle. Todd hugs back, failing to keep the silly grin off his face.

Todd joins Neil on their living room couch that evening with a blanket splayed over them. Walt lays nearby, guarding the arm of the couch. The TV is playing some trashy Hallmark flick, but Todd isn’t watching. He’s staring at Neil, at the man he’s lucky enough to call his. He reaches out for one of Neil’s hands and grabs hold of it, lacing their fingers together. Todd rests his head on Neil’s shoulder, staring at the screen as he tries to figure out what’s going on. He fails miserably. Instead, Todd lets his thoughts wander elsewhere.

Maybe Neil’s right. He’s been wrong before, as humans so often are. But it certainly feels like everything will be alright after all. There’s much more to come, Todd’s well aware. But Neil makes it all feel worthwhile. The difficult parts of life suck far less when there is the assurance of his steadfast love for someone else, and Neil’s own utter fondness to match.

taglist :D @regina-della-poesia @maisietheweltoncow @aedan-mills

#anderperry week 2k21 #anderperry #anderperry fic #sam does things #my writing #my fic

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