#andrew doing goalie things brings me joy

[the-chicken-or-the-banana]

as a former soccer goalie, here are some very specific things andrew minyard does while playing exy

he has crazy good aim. that cone drill kevin and neil keep doing? andrew's an icon at that

he's gotta hit the balls directly at the strikers (or whoever else needs the ball) from a static position so his aim is probably better and stronger than most people on the team

andrew's literally shit at cardio. man literally doesn't run aside from normal conditioning (and chasing after neil) plus he smokes so his lungs do be constantly dying

also, i feel like people really underestimate how boring being in goal can be

like if the ball's not near you, there is nothing. to. do.

honestly, he probably just puts his racquet down or straight up sits on the floor when the action is on the other end of the court

(this is coming from someone who literally left the field for a few minutes because she had nothing to do)

another thing: the man can jump.

like, put him on a trampoline (not that he'd ever do that lol) and he'll fly above everyone else, no matter his fear of heights

especially because he's so short compared to the goal, he's gotta stretch in every direction to be able to reach the ball

he's mad flexible, is what i'm getting at

penalty shots are his worst enemy

idc how good of a goalie he usually is, most of the catches/blocks he makes are pure luck

and like. his height doesn't help with this at all

most of the sweating he does comes from his extra armor rather than the game itself

again. goalies literally don't move most of the time. for the longest time, nicky just thinks that andrew has some kind of magic deodorant he isn't sharing with the rest of them

(there have been more than a few raids into andrew's toiletries looking for it)

i literally used to get those misty fan water bottle things bc everyone else had one and it looked cool, not because i was ever tired after games lol

he likes interlocking his fingers to see how obtrusive the goalie gloves are

idk it's a thing that all goalies i know do, for absolutely no reason. it do be fun though

goalies have to do a lot of agility and reflexive drills. one of these is kinda like quickly running in place and jumping/rolling to the side to catch a ball someone throws at you

i'm just imagining andrew doing this bc it looks so. funny.

like the person doing the drill looks like some spider on drugs with how fast their feet are moving

(also it makes lots of goalies pretty good at dancing/stuff that requires lots of feet coordination. i'm not saying... but i'm kinda saying, if you get what i mean)

this isn't during exy, but sometimes catching things is so reflexive

once i caught a glass full of water before it shattered on a restaurant floor, and i imagine andrew does shit like that too

but the difference is that he gets so annoyed whenever it happens

being unintentionally helpful is andrew's least favorite thing (but neil finds it so goddamn funny)

sometimes neil randomly drops things near andrew just to watch him get annoyed at his reflexes

(also, i'm just imagining the foxes randomly throwing things at andrew. he's stuck between two situations: catch things and have the foxes laugh at him or let things hit him in the face and have the foxes laugh at him)

#andrew doing goalie things brings me joy #this brought back memories though #i forgot how fun it was #but yeah lol it does get pretty boring #also wow #my posting is horribly inconsistent #oops #andrew minyard #andreil #neil josten #the foxes #aftg #all for the game #tfc #the foxhole court #nicky hemmick #aftg headcanon #aftg hc #my headcanons #exy