xiao x gn!reader “exist for love”
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@: this is an empty canvas (i guess ??) sooooo you can do whatever you wan't ^^^ but can you write for xiao x reader kinda songfic where it's all lovey dovey and he realizes that he has feelings for the reader no matter how he denies it, it's just there... your song choice adds a little bit of ✨s p i c e✨ and as the song ends or somth he confesses to the reader !
notes: requests are open. thank you so much for requesting!! i love this idea and i am totally going to enjoy writing this. the song is exist for love by aurora. i don't usually like love songs but this shit is real good and i always find myself listening to it, anyways, enjoy!!!
summary: love was nowhere near what xiao expected when he had gotten the second chance of starting his life again, but why does he feel this way whenever you linger near?
warnings/contains: fluff, xiao realising that he has feelings and him being wtf, not proofread so errors ahead.
pairing: xiao x gender neutral!reader
word count: 1406 words, approximately 5 minute read.
they say there is a war between the man and the woman
he had witnessed it all, the great suffering, the fire burning brightly at every corner of what seemed to be the world... he had lived for almost two thousand years. xiao can never miss a thing, him, a monster, a devourer of dreams, an untamed beast, enslaved on what he thought was freedom.
i've never felt like this before my heart knew that i couldn't
suddenly one day, it felt like the stinging strings attached to his limbs broke free... and he breath an extra breathe, all thanks to rex lapis.
and then you take me in and everything in me begins to feel like a belong like everybody needs a home
he wouldn't be lying when he thought you were such a hindrance when you first met, quite annoying and too stubborn... you would always flock together with the funeral parlor director and cause mischief that not even him can stop...
you were annoying, very annoying, how that (stupid) smile of yours never fail to ignore his presence, whenever you walked or ran in his direction... what were you trying to do anyways?
why does your smile feel warm...
and when i take your hand like the world has never held a man
there wasn't a time where you try to invade what seemed to be his personal space, it being 3 meters... you would sometimes stick to his side like you were moulded together and he can't do anything about it, he would push you away, he'd fail, and you will succeed.
i know i cannot heal the hurt but i will hold you here forever if i can, if i can
he can't stop thinking about you, maybe because you are the reason for him to committ mass murder of such but also because of something else, sometimes when you are near he'd stomach would grumble, it didn't felt bad surprisingly, it felt... pleasant.
but not as pleasant when you held his hand for a few seconds, for the first time — he could see luminous stars.
and then i learned the truth how everything good in life seems to lead back to you
the feeling on his stomach gets worse and worse everyday, he tried to eat anything he can to aid whatever it is, it wasn't hunger, he was always full, and it never seemed to go away.
he would always feel this way whenever you are around and he would sneer at you sometimes.
were you trying to hex him?!
he asked zhongli about this before, but the man before him would simply shake his head and suggest that something else is happening, something else is happening, he was losing his sanity, what the hell is it?
he'd become so desperate for help that he had to ask hu tao about it, it was a bad idea honestly... he wouldn't go into details about what she said; even ganyu... yet she doesn't even know who, or what is causing this.
that leaves him with the traveler, aether said he might be... in love, xiao raised his eyebrows at him, even paimon agreed... him? in love? since when? why? how? what?
he asked for help on how to settle it. both of the outlanders agreed...
and every single time i run into your arms i feel like i exist for love
your smile, your touch, it was something else, everytime you do almost anything it always seemed as if things were getting better... better and better everyday.
maybe... maybe...
your touch feels like love, this is love...
i can't imagine how it is to be forbidden from loving
xiao promised to himself to never love again like he did before, because it led to nothing but his will to live withering away.
but now was a different case, a different time, a different love... theres harm... in trying again, but can you even possibly try to hurt him? all you did was make everything... great again...
he has the ability to do so, to try again, xiao always thought of this, to start again.
maybe this time it will get better, he couldn't imagine himself without love, whenever you're near.
'cause when you walked into my life i could feel my life begin
the best part of him existing was laying his eyes on you...
finally...
he was thankful, he'd thank the archons, because of them, xiao would be able to exist and get a sight of you, the only thing left and added into his life.
and every single time i run into your arms i feel like i exist for love
you were confused on as to why he started to tell you more about him, it's always usually you, blabbering about nonsense... the only thing you know about him before is that he liked this food and that.
you were confused on the way he looks at you that way, it wasn't as scary as before, it feels comfortable
you're his sight to behold...
and when you say my name like white horses on the waves
you were now baffled by all of this — he'd hold your hands sometimes, he'd put a hand on your waist sometimes, he'd stroke your hair sometimes... he'd hold you all the time and you don't know why, but don't have to know why it all felt pleasant.
before, he would spat your name like a venomous susbtance, you're used to it, but now it trickles like honey, and you enjoyed your name being called out by him.
i think it feels the same as an ocean in my veins and you'll be diving in like nothing is out of place
you are up the balcony in wangshu inn as usual... waiting for the adepti to come and talk about anything in here as usual, verr goldet is used to both of your presence here and she honestly don't care as much, as long as you don't burn the inn down, given by the infamous name you would carry along the harbour and your close friend busy burying that one zombie kid from the pharmacy.
looking back at jueyun karst... you had always wanted to go there but couldn't, you will forever be curious of what lies there... maybe you'll have to ask xiao, and maybe he'd take you there if he's in the mood.
you heard a silent cough and looked back at the sound, you gave the adepti a warm smile. and he looked anywhere but you.
how curious.
xiao walked towards you and faced you, and you both stare at each other, not trying to talk or even do anything.
"y/n..." you flinched for a second because of his voice. "uhhhh yes xiao" you inquired silently, you feel nervous all of a sudden. "our bond is too strong to be ignored, i am certain that you can sense it yourself, this is new to me, i am not used to this situation at all..."
what is he talking about? your bond? what's with it? you hoped he wasn't trying to part ways with you when all you wanted was to befriend him, he always seemed to be lonely and always hid it bitterly from the world to see, but you can see through him.
and you know, he just needs someone to be there for him... and that is you... if he was trying to get rid of you, he'd atleast have to try harder, but then again, you'd always stick to his side.
"xiao... i refuse to part ways—"
"—i like you"
this was not what you expected, he wasn't being specific, you tried your hardest not to choke on your own spit.
"i... like you too?" it sounded more like a question than an adamant answer. "no." he shook his head, and sneered, he held your hands roughly and you were one sweat away from collapsing to the ground. what is happening
"you are my desire... i think that's the adequate word..."
and we exist for love only for love
those words felt good on his tongue, and they felt good in your ears... you let out a relief sigh and he gave you a confused look. you quickly dismissed it with a laugh, and he raised both his eyebrows slowly, expecting an answer from you...
you slowly took your hands from his grasps and placed them on his cheeks.
everything was blissful, a feeling inside of you kindles, you had always liked him.
"of course, me too xiao..."
he hesitantly enveloped you into a hug and you gladly hugged back.
maybe you'll bring the topic about going to jueyun karst with him next time, right now, you just want to stay like this.
and i love you, i love you, i love you and i love you, i love you, i love you
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