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royallyprincesslilly · 1 year

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Title: If This Is Love, You Need To Mean It {3}

Title: If This Is Love, You Need To Mean It {3}

Lewis Hamilton x Reader

Warning: Heavy Angst, Plot Heavy, LOTS OF WORDS, Heartbreak, Cursing,

Words: 6.3k

Summary: The fallout of Lewis’ actions is real, as is the freeze-out. You’re fuming but brokenhearted. Not only do you feel like a fool, but you also feel used. Was any of it real? Making sense of this mess is the first thing you have to do.

Note: Part 3 is here! The plot thickens, as does the tension and angst. LOL. Part 4 is coming because it was too long.

Note II: Italicized text is a flashback/memory or someone’s words all from some time in the past.

As always, thank you all so much for reading. I truly appreciate it!

If you enjoyed this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!!!

***NOT Edited/Proofread***

Previous: If This Is Love, I Don’t Want It {1} | If This Is Love, You Need To Prove It {2} |

~~~~~~~~

-Lewis-

“Y/N.”

You didn’t respond. Hell for the last fifteen minutes, you’d been unresponsive and the longer you remained this way the more he panicked.

“Y/N?”

He gently shook you not wanting to be too rough. He was already in such deep shit that he didn’t want to make things worse. He always felt like he was one step away from just catastrophic failure. He had failed, he thought.

“Y/N.”

“Should we call 911?”

“No. The paps will be here in seconds. I don’t think she’d want even more stories about her out there,” Daniel replied ending Miles’ panic.

“Fam, just—let me—shit.”

He gripped his head and tried to think. Daniel was right. After the last week and change the stories running wild about your hospitalization had only increased and the longer you went without making a statement it only made them more brazen to make things up. He cringed feeling renewed guilt over the situation. It was his fault. It was all his fault. To think he’d only wanted to defuse a situation and keep you safe this entire time, but he hadn’t kept you safe.

“Lew,” Anthony began placing his hand on his shoulder.

“What do we do?”

He began to dig in his pocket ready to call your father. He’d have a lot to explain as to why you were there let alone passed out, but he didn’t see any other way. In the back of his mind he himself thought about the reason why you were there.

“Why was she here? How?”

“She was hiding behind the bar when you told us to hide,” Miles said.

“Hiding?”

“Yeah, with bags. Maybe she came to clear her stuff out.”

His chest tightened at the thought of that. Had you been there to get your stuff making this breakup final? He didn’t like that one bit. He didn’t want this break up; he never did. Renewed hatred for Aleeza sparked within him but part of him felt like he too held blame.

“She’s not waking up. What if she needs a hospital?”

Andrew sounded panicked now. Normally he and Daniel were the calmer ones. Their panic made him panic more. Maybe you were still suffering from whatever had landed you in the hospital. He pulled his phone then to dial your father, but a soft moan filled the room. All four of them hovered closer watching you closely. Again you moaned, then groaned as you shifted on the leather couch.

“Oh thank god,” Miles said dropping into one of the other couches.

“Angel Eyes?”

Your eyes opened and slowly focused. He couldn’t read you at all but after several moments your brows knitted together and you sprang up.

“Oh my god,” you groaned gripping your head.

“Are you all right, Y/N?”

“Should we call 911?”

Daniel and Andrew’s questions blended together.

“No,” you croaked out as your hands framed your face.

“Are you sure? You passed out just now. You were out for almost 30 minutes,” Miles inquired.

“And you were just in the hospital,” he said.

You looked at him then and if looks could kill, he would have been ten times over. Flinching, he looked away from you.

“I’m fine,” you snapped, swinging your legs over to rest on the floor.

“Can you guys give me some space—please?”

Getting the hint, they backed up. Daniel and Andrew joined Miles on the couch while he took a few steps back never taking his eyes off of you. He watched as you rubbed your temples with circular motions. It was an action you did often usually when you were trying to stave off a headache or trying to relieve stress or when you were trying to make sense of something.

“What the fuck is going on?”

It was an expected question at an unexpected time. Glancing at his boys, they exchanged looks of various levels of panic and confusion. When no one spoke you looked at them expectantly. You didn’t look at him, he noted.

“Hello?”

“We don’t fucking know. She shows up here and he tells us to hide then we see you hiding already and then we hear the biggest villain masterplan I’ve ever heard,” Miles recounted.

“What are you doing here?”

It shouldn’t have been his question but he wanted to hear the words from your mouth. You glanced at him but dropped your eyes after a few short seconds. You bit your bottom lip and then shook your head.

“That’s not important. I’m asking the questions. Why was Aleeza here waltzing in here like it’s not her first time and what the fuck were you talking about because—what the fuck!?”

“Fellas,” he began, ready to ask them to leave. “Maybe y’all can give us--.”

“No. They’re staying. Now explain.”

Your eyes were cold, and it broke his heart. You’d never looked at him like this before until that day in Monaco. The day he’d set all this in motion. Taking a deep breath, he rubbed the back of his neck and then began pacing. If you’d been behind the bar from the beginning then you’d heard everything. There was no point in trying to keep the details from you now. still, he hesitated not wanting to put you in any more danger or hurt you more.

“I don’t want you to get hurt, angel eyes.”

“Don’t call me that! And you don’t want me to get hurt!? That’s fucking rich, you’ve already fucking hurt me!”

You bolted to your feet, and he felt the heat of the flames of your anger. As if something inside him snapped he darted up seconds after you shouted.

“Do you think you’re the only fucking person hurting right now, Y/N?!”

He knew he probably shouldn’t have said it because you had every right to be furious with him right now, but he couldn’t stop the words. He was hurt too. You had no idea what it took of him and from him to put on that fiasco and live with the fallout. You had no idea what he’d been through, you had no idea how he felt during all this. Was it fair for him to be this angry at you, no, but in truth, he wasn’t angry at you at all. He was angry with himself, angry with the entire situation.

You stepped closer to him and threw up your middle finger at him, “Oh fuck you, Lewis! Don’t you fucking dare throw that at me. This was you! This was your doing!”

“Ehm,” Daniel cautiously began stepping forward and wedging himself between the both of you.

“Let’s all calm down.”

You spun around sharply then paced back and forth. He was very familiar with your anger, but this was different. He hadn’t ever seen you this angry before.

Daniel sighed, “Man, I think you should just tell her everything.”

“I second that,” Andrew added.

“Me too, cause I’m lost as fuck,” Miles finished.

He sighed then gripped his head. The slight force of his squeeze helped alleviate some of the pounding in his head but not much. Now that it had come to this, he had no choice so he conceded. Dropping down to the couch, he rested his elbows on his knees and then took a deep breath.

“Aleeza’s been blackmailing me for weeks.”

“Why?”

He dropped his head backward then steepled his fingers under his chin. “She found out we were together and has been using that to--.”

“From the beginning Lewis,” you hissed.

If he were a weaker man he would have flinched from the pure rage and venom in your tone.

“About a month ago Aleeza came over here with an envelope filled with pictures of you and me.”

“What pictures?”

He walked across the floor then into his office and unlocked the safe to pull out the dark yellow envelope then walked back out to you. He placed it on the table and waited for you to take it. You stared at it like it was an untrustworthy foe that could strike at any moment. He could guess what you were thinking. Rather than talking more, he waited for you to take up the envelope. A full minute passed before you did. Once you’d dipped your hand inside and came away with the stack of pictures, he watched your face closely.

He knew the photos well. They were of you coming over, leaving days later, you guys making out in the car, jogging together, a few of you having sex that he still didn’t know how she’d gotten. It still made his skin crawl from the level of the breach to his privacy he’d been victim to. However it wasn’t only his privacy, it was yours too.

“Shit,” you whispered.

He knew it was the picture of you on your knees in front of him with his dick in your mouth.

“How did she get these?”

“I don’t know,” he replied somberly. He knew what you felt. Violated.

After a few moments of silence, you slipped the pictures back into the envelope and then looked at him.

“Then?”

Your eyes were cold once again, he couldn’t decipher anything inside them, and it hurt more than knowing he’d fucked up. You were so, so far from him. He couldn’t reach out to you, but you were right across the room, close enough to touch. Only he didn’t dare try to.

“She said she’d show them to your father, so he knew that I breached my contract in a way that warranted immediate dismissal. She knew the specific details of my contract, she knew shit she wasn’t supposed to, shit only Toto and your dad should know. She said she would blow up my entire life and move on to Wednesday like Tuesday was nothing. I asked her why and what she wanted, and she said she wanted me to end things with you.”

“And you agreed,” you spat at him as if the words tasted like chewing tobacco.

“What! No! I told her no that there was no chance in hell. I told her I’d take my chances with your father and my contract. I told her I wouldn’t. I even went as far as to call your father then and there, but she snatched my phone away. I must have pissed her off with that because she saw she couldn’t control me, and I was ready to drop napalm on my life and career for you.”

He chanced a glance at you hoping his words were making it through the hard shell of your anger, but you gave nothing away. You still looked at him like he was a stranger you didn’t trust. Again he sighed, then shook his head.

“So her threat turned lethal. She said she would see to it that you had another accident that was worse than the one outside the gala that night. It didn’t make any sense to me how she worded it, but I didn’t put it together then. I didn’t think it was possible, that someone would be able to do something like that, especially to her husband's daughter. I just—I didn’t think. I did see that she was serious though and I didn’t want to risk you.”

“Why didn’t you tell my dad?”

“With what proof, angel eyes?”

“Stop!”

Clenching his jaw, he took a few calming breaths, “I had no proof. It was my word against hers. What reason would your father have to believe me? I couldn’t take the chance of that setting her off and her actually doing something.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I wanted to protect you. I wanted to keep this as far from you as possible. I thought fine I’ll just end things in a way that I knew we’d find our way back to each other, a way that I knew wouldn’t mean anything because of what we felt for each other.”

Your eyes softened then but within seconds they hardened again. Had he really lost you?

“I thought I could handle it,” he said, his voice low.

You scoffed. “And handle it you did. Con-fucking-gratulations!”

“Y/N,” Miles cautiously said as if he was trying to cut through the aggression you were charging the air with.

You sat, crossed your legs and arms then glared at him.

“And then?”

He hated this part. “She said she wanted it done in a way that—that--.”

“Spit it the fuck out you’ve already done the deed, own it.”

“That’s not really fair,” Andrew piped up.

Your glare slid to him. “You can get the fuck out if you want Andrew.”

He lowered his eyes but didn’t speak again. You then brought your razor blade glare back to him.

“She wanted it done in a way that what?”

“That broke your heart, a way that you wouldn’t recover from.”

“Wow. I guess all those actors in Hollywood don’t have shit on you. Lewis Hamilton for best actor, best screenplay, and best heartbreaker,” you said in a condescending voice as you clapped loudly.

“Y/N, I’m sorry.”

You rolled your eyes. “Whose idea was it?”

Shifting his eyes to the ceiling, he tried to buy himself some time, however, your disgusted laugh filled the room. It went from disgusted to hysterical, almost like the Joker’s unhinged one. When he looked at you he could see your eyes glistening with unshed tears.

“Tell me? Who came up with the plan?”

This was harder than actually following through with the plan. Sitting across from you seeing the pain in your eyes, hearing the betrayal in your voice he wanted to do anything to take it away.

“Y/N,” he began on a whisper.

“Tell me!”

“Mine. I knew there was no way you’d believe anything less, no way you’d accept it, no way it would feel real unless it was this.”

“And how did you know that?”

Your eyes remained on his and you waited.

“Because of how you felt for me.”

It was then your tears fell and those droplets felt like ice shards embedding themselves in his chest. Daniel held out a box of tissues for you, but you ignored them and opted for the backs of your hands.

“Eh-em, so you planned that day in Monaco, planned it to perfection and had her there watching?”

“It was her idea. She wanted to see it to be sure it happened.”

You nodded.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. It was hands down the second hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I could barely get through it, could barely breathe saying the words to you. I—I didn’t fuck them though. I couldn’t do that to you—I wouldn’t.”

You looked dazed now and everything in him screamed to go to you. He stood and took a step to you.

“Don’t you fucking dare come near me!”

Just like that, he stopped in his tracks. It wasn’t your words, but the hatred in your eyes.

“And tonight she came to collect the rest.”

You snorted then wiped your cheeks again. “All of this for your overly used dick. All of this to be one of the many in a long, long line.”

“Okay look that’s not fair,” Andrew said standing.

“It’s all right,” he said trying to stave Andrew off.

“No, it’s not. Look, Y/N, I get this is a lot and fucked up on so many levels and you’re hurt—a lot--.”

“Hurt.”

You giggled. “Hurt?” More giggles came until they turned unhinged again. “Hurt? Stubbing your bare toe is hurt. Hearing someone you trusted telling the secrets you trusted them with hurts. Hearing the person you’d been spending the last 18 months with didn’t feel inclined to share something important with you hurts. Hearing that the man you’ve spent the last 18 months with may not be who you thought hurts. This? What he did, doesn’t hurt. It destroys. I am fucking destroyed. I’m gutted! You gutted me, Lewis!”

“He didn’t have a--,” Andrew began but he cut him off.

“No, she’s right Andrew. I fucked up. I’m to blame, no matter why I did what I did or my intentions, I fucked up. My actions—I’m sorry angel eyes.”

~~~~~~~~~

-Y/N-

You sprang up again and began pacing. It was then you flipped your switch. It was one of the many skills you’d developed being the daughter of Jordan Y-L-N. One of the skills you’d been trained in to prep you for living life in the public eye and being a constant target for any and everything. It was a skill you’d perfected when your mother passed. Each and every time you did it, you found it easier to separate yourself from your current reality to focus and dull every useless emotion.

All the pain, hurt, sadness, anger, and feelings regarding what Lewis had done were blocked off as you sequestered yourself far away from them. You knew you couldn’t handle them now, there was no scenario you made it through this without sealing yourself off. There was a bigger problem. Aleeza.

“She knew my mother and had a rivalry with her. A rivalry she lost. She made a plan to ruin my life using you to do it, the only person who probably had to power to do it. She watched me crumble, laughed at me in the hospital, then tried to convince my father I was at fault the whole time it was her doing. She was behind the accident at the gala. She wanted to kill me so she could be the sole inheritor of daddy’s estate when he died. Now she wants to fuck Lewis as a married woman and she’s sure he’ll give in because he’d lose his career if he didn’t, making him have lost me and his career—everything.”

Wow, you thought to yourself. This truly was insane. She was insane. You turned to the four faces on the other side of the room but blocked Lewis out completely.

“She tried to kill me.”

“That’s fucked up,” Miles said standing again.

“She almost succeeded,” you muttered.

“Well, we all heard her. She won’t get away with it,” Daniel said.

“Damn right she won’t,” Andrew said holding up his phone.

He pressed a few buttons and then placed his phone on the table. After a few seconds, Aleeza’s voice came on. Your eyes widened.

“Andrew, you--.”

“Recorded everything from when Lewis said hide. It was weird she was here. Something felt off.”

He took his phone up and stopped the recording. “I can text it to you.”

A wicked plan unfurled in your head, a plan that she deserved. She thought your mother was her rival. Your mother had never mentioned her, never dwelled on her a day in her happy life with you and your father. She was a speck of nothing in our lives. If only you’d been such a speck for hers.

“She wanted to destroy me. This bitch is going to finally understand the definition of destroy,” you said.

“What’s the plan?”

You looked over Miles, Andrew, and Daniel. They looked ready and eager to be a part of this like they planned on being involved no matter what.

“Look, y’all don’t have to be part of this any longer,” you began.

“Fuck that,” Daniel said.

“She came after the fam, and she tried to kill you,” Miles declared.

“She’s the one at fault for all of this. The way she hurt you—you didn’t deserve that. We’re in,” Andrew finished.

You clenched your jaw trying to fight off the barrier that was trying to drop so you were overwhelmed with everything again. You couldn’t afford that right now. If it did you’d be crippled with the pain, you’d be down for the count and right now you had a bitch to pay back.

“Andrew text me and email me that recording.”

“Got it.”

“What do you need from us?”

“I need the footage from the gala and the accident, I need to get the plates and anything I can so I can trace it. I can’t use my family’s investigator because there’s a chance it could get back to her.”

“I’m on that,” Miles said. “I know a cop who knows a detective.”

“Thank you, Miles.”

He nodded and took a few steps away pulling out his phone.

“I can use my company to dig into her some more,” Daniel offered.

His tech, cyber security, protection, and information agency would be good to handle that.

“Thank you Daniel.”

He reached for your hand and gave it a squeeze. Again the barrier threatened to drop. You yanked your hand away and gave him a tight smile. Nodding, he quietly told you he understood. He stepped away and you watched as these three guys who didn’t owe you anything went above and beyond to help you. Three guys who owed all their loyalties to someone else were showing they were also loyal to you.

Emotion bubbled within you making you turn your back.

“Y/N,” Lewis began softly.

You froze, back tensing and heart pounding. You were not strong enough to do this right now. The only thing fueling you right now was the need for vengeance.

“What can I do? I want to—I need to help.”

You fought the sneer, but you couldn’t fight the words. “Don’t you think you’ve done enough? Just bask in the glory of my virginity.”

He sucked in a sharp breath and without needing to look at him you knew you wounded him. The part of you behind that barrier cared, the you with that switch flipped couldn’t. You stepped away and grabbed the bags you’d packed earlier then walked out the door without giving him a backward glance.

On the drive home, you took the long way passing it a few times driving clear to the countryside. Movement helped you think, movement helped you suppress the thing inside of you that was simmering. Every moment of inactivity made it reach a bubbling boil and you did not want to find out what would happen when it bubbled over. You knew yourself well enough that you knew it would be catastrophic.

So that was how you’d driven your tank empty three times and didn’t arrive back home until one in the morning. You couldn’t even stop to eat though you felt the hunger pains. Instead, you used the pains to fuel a workout. What was supposed to be maybe a thirty- or forty-minute run on the treadmill turned into a marathon sport event. Forty minutes at the punching bag, Thirty on the cycle machine, thirty on the rowing machine, twenty pumping weights, then an hour and a half on the treadmill.

By the time you made it to the shower, you were dead on your feet. Matter of fact so dead you dropped into your bed still wet and instantly fell asleep. The thing with the switch was, when you were awake it was easy to maintain, however, when asleep it was a bitch and a half. The nightmares were the worst because they never ended. They turned into terrors where you jumped up time after time after time only to realize that you’d done so in a dream and were still asleep and unable to actually wake yourself. Sleep paralysis. It was something you hadn’t experienced in years, and it was something you wouldn’t wish on anyone, except Aleeza.

So as you were paralyzed in this dream and unable to wake, you remained trapped in the nightmare of the day you’d walked in on Lewis. It played over and over and over. You would think the more times it played the more desensitized you were to it but no, it only intensified the pain you felt. No matter how you tried to run away from the scene or hide, it never worked. You were forced to live it again and again.

“Come out of it, angel eyes. Come on.”

You gasped loudly then sprang up panting for oxygen against the awful cotton mouth you were experiencing.

“It’s okay, I got you,” Lewis said.

You looked around the room, realizing you were awake. The sky was black, and the city lights twinkled around your condo.

“Y/N.”

You snapped your head to him, and everything flooded you again. Before you could stop yourself you wailed out as your body shook uncontrollably.

“I know you don’t want me to touch you, but I have to.”

Lewis wrapped his arms around you and squeezed you tightly to his body. He’d seen you like this before. You’d gone through this after the accident and during those long weeks he didn’t let you out of his sight, you slept beside him, so he was near when you had an episode. He even got trained in how to take care of you during one.

The soothing circles he rubbed into your back barely registered, but the effect was nearly instantaneous. So very slowly the shaking lessened, and your breathing evened but the tears continued.

“Tighter,” you whimpered hating that you needed his help.

How twisted was it that the person you triggered this sleep paralysis was the person you needed to help soothe them? Lewis’ arms tightened around you feeling more like being Shibari bound than hugged.

“It’s okay. I’ve got you angel eyes.”

You wept louder though you were biting your tongue trying to hold it back.

“I’m sorry, I swear I am. I never meant for any of this to happen. I never wanted to hurt you in any way. It breaks me, straight kills me to know this is my fault.”

With every word, his hold on you remained tight. With every word, his warmth seeped into your pores and rushed off the cold chill that had taken over your body. Slowly your body relaxed, releasing you for the after-terror. Your body wanted to stay wrapped in his arms so badly. It wanted to forget everything that had transpired but your brain didn’t know how, your heart refused to.

“Get off of me,” you said on a shaky breath.

Lewis sighed before he complied. When he had you realized then you were naked. Snatching the comforter away, you wrapped yourself in it and dashed to the other side of your bedroom.

“What’re you doing here?”

“Daniel, Miles, and Andrew have tried to get in contact with you for almost two days, but you haven’t been answering.”

You spun around to face him. “Two days? I’ve been here for--.”

You turned back around and tried not to panic. You’d been in a sleep paralysis episode for nearly two days. Fuck you said to yourself.

“When did your sleep paralysis come back?”

“None of your business.”

“Y/N. Come on I just want to help. Please let me.”

Spinning around to glance at him you lashed out, “I don’t want your help Lewis! I can barely fucking look at you!”

To prove your point, you turned away from him again, your mouth turned up in disgust. A few tense moments passed in silence where you fought the dizziness overtaking you until you lost your balance and went tumbling to the floor. Before you hit the hard marble surface, Lewis’ arms cocooned you in safety lowering you gently to the floor.

Three of his heads danced around the air making it confusing for you to figure out which was the real him and which were the illusions. Lewis sighed then spoke again.

“You may not want it, but you need it. When was the last time you took your medication?”

You tried to figure that out for yourself but after several long seconds with no answer Lewis sighed again, this one disappointed. “How about eaten? When did you last eat?”

You knew this answer, “Two days ago.”

The three heads drifted into one and you saw the look of horror on Lewis’ face. “Please tell me you haven’t been in sleep paralysis for two days.”

You didn’t bother lying, you felt too weak.

“Fuck, Y/N.”

With that, Lewis hoisted you into his arms and stood bringing you back to your bed. He tucked a few pillows behind your head.

“I don’t need you Lewis. Just go.”

“I’m not leaving you like this. I’ll get your meds and make you some food then after you eat and take your meds only then will I leave.”

You kissed your teeth annoyed with this chivalrous show he was putting on. At this point, you didn’t know what was the real him and what was a fabricated illusion made up by you or forced onto you him. Without waiting for you to object, Lewis walked over to the mini fridge you kept in the bedroom and took out a bottle of water.

“Here, hydrate. Two days of no water, your body needs it.”

You glared at him but snatched the bottle from him and took a few gulps. He remained there clearly unsatisfied with the small gulps you’d taken. You took a few more and only stopped when you drank half the bottle.

“Wait here,” Lewis instructed before he walked out of your bedroom.

You were so annoyed right now it was crazy. He had no right to be here, no right to want to take care of you, no right to even try to pretend like nothing had happened and he hadn’t completely gutted you in two flawless moves. That barrier you’d forced up was slowly cracking and you were more than terrified of when it crumbled altogether. Taking some calming breaths, you tried to focus on what needed to be done and the fact that you needed to be in the right state of mind to pull it off.

Before you realized it, Lewis walked back into your bedroom with a trey. The scent of tomato soup filled the room and your stomach rumbled.

“Garlic and basil tomato soup with a grilled cheese, a cup of chamomile tea, a little cantaloupe, honeydew, and strawberry salad. I was going to add a salad but maybe keeping it lite is best.”

He placed the trey at the foot of the bed and then bent to grab the portable table you kept under your bed. After unfolding it he put it over your lap then the tray on the table. It boiled your blood knowing that he still knew where everything was and was moving around like he owned the place like he was still welcomed.

When he came back and put your medicine beside the bowl of tomato soup you snapped again.

“You can go now. Don’t you have a deadline looming in a matter of hours? You should go prepare for your pussy appointment.”

Lewis sucked in a sharp breath, but he didn’t move. “You really think I’d sleep with her? You really think that’s who I am?”

You snorted, “I don’t know who you are,” you spat.

“Bullshit. You know exactly who I am. You’ve seen who I am over the last 18 months. You know everything about me. You know you are the most important person to me next to my family. You know you mean everything to me.”

Lewis reached for your hand, but you yanked it back before he could touch you. A defeated look crossed his face and a small part of you felt guilty for it. A very small part, but no matter how small, that part was wreaking havoc and prompting the fall of your barrier at a breakneck speed.

He pulled over a chair and then sat. “What can I do? Tell me what I need to do to make this right.”

“Nothing. There is nothing you can do. I don’t know who you are. I don’t know if I can ever believe anything out of your mouth again. I don’t know if I can ever trust you or rely on you. I just--.”

Shaking your head you took a deep breath and began eating.

“Please, angel eyes.”

You sighed. closed your eyes and squeezed the spoon. “Please stop calling me that.”

“No. You think I don’t know what you’re trying to do? You think I don’t know that you’re trying to push me away and compartmentalize the shit out of this situation so you can numb yourself toward me? I’m not stupid, Y/N.”

“You should have told me!”

You loud shout went everywhere. Lewis didn’t speak for a while but when he did his voice was low.

“I see that now. I swear Y/N, I was trying to protect you. I was trying to--.”

“Do what you always do, try to control everything and handle it all by yourself.”

He sighed then dropped his head. “I’m sorry.”

“What does sorry do now? The damage is done. Like I have never allowed any man in and here I let you in and you shattered me, ruined me, broke me. You did to me what I didn’t think any man had to power to do because I never allowed it, but I see now though it’s too late. I’d given you something no one had ever gotten.”

He looked guilty now. “Your virginity. I didn’t know before; I didn’t know fully until you said the words. I suspected but—.”

“You took more than that Lewis. You took all of me—everything.”

“Please, Y/N, let’s start over, let’s try again.”

“I don’t have anything else to give.”

“Then let me do the giving. Let me give everything to you. Let me love you because I do. I love you.”

You stared at him with your head cocked to the side. They were words you wanted to hear a month or two ago. They were words you were so sure he wanted to say one of the last times you’d had sex. They were words you swore he’d said in so many different ways but now he was saying the actual words.

“I love you, Y/N. I love you more than anything, I love you so fucking much I can’t breathe, so much I can’t do anything without thinking of you, thinking of keeping you safe, happy, and carefree. I love you so much that I can’t do anything without you in my life. I love you. Y/N. I love you.”

He clasped your hand between his large ones, and you sat there searching his eyes. Could you believe these words? Were they also lies to get you to forgive him? Could this be real? Uncertainty swarmed within you making it impossible to decipher what was real or fake.

“I don’t know what’s real and what’s fake,” you whispered.

He held your hand tighter. “This is real, I’m real, how I feel about you is real. The last 18 months were real, the depth of how sorry I am is real. Me being willing to end my career for you is real. Loving you more than my love of the sport—that’s real. Believe me.”

You pulled your hands free from his then averted your eyes to the food before you. After you focused for a few moments you went back to eating as if he’d said nothing. Your mother taught you that love was an action, not a word, and if the action was authentic the words wouldn’t be needed and if the love was genuine then it would be forever something you could bet on without hesitation. You didn’t know if you could bet on his “love.”

After about thirty minutes, you’d finished most of the food and taken the medication. You then looked at Lewis ready to tell him to leave. He held his hand up.

“You don’t have to say it. I’ll go.”

He stood, dug in his pocket, and held out a zip drive. “Daniel and Miles came through. They said if you need anything else call them.”

You took the zip drive and nodded. “Thank you.”

He nodded then somberly walked to the door. You watched him move. Before, he always had a pep in his step no matter what he was going through, now he looked just as broken as you felt. Fighting the urge to feel sympathy for him, you closed your eyes.

“Angel eyes.”

Your belly quivered at the sound of his nickname for you. It always quivered no matter if you were alone or in the middle of a crowd. You heard the name and your body reacted. He knew it very well and it was knowledge he capitalized on. It was a nickname he refused to give up on. You met his eyes cautiously.

“I could never and would never sleep with anyone but you. No matter what, from this day on there will be no one else. Just you. Even if you decide that you want nothing else to do with me, I will love you from afar, but it will still forever and always till my last breath, just be you.”

That was a bold ass declaration you thought. It came with a shit ton of implications and a shit ton of silent promises. The look on his face said he knew each and every single one of those implications and promises. Your body began to shake all over again only this wasn’t the aftereffects of the paralysis. This was the weight of his words seeping into your very being and attacking the barrier. You opened your mouth to speak but in a matter of seconds he was gone, and you were left with too much to think about.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TagList:

@chaneajoyyy @caramara3 @valkryienymph @babyflowa07 @est1887 @halfrican-heat @mauvecherie-writes @nunya7394 @lovebittenbyevans @gardenwonders2 @sweetlikecoffy @dillie60 @ olabelle757 @ophiaedits @kenequa @triton08 @skyesthebomb @shipatheart @keytodespair @xsweetdellzx @labella420 @coldmuffinbanditshoe @ak329 @shar74nett @youremysuperstar @whore-like-behaviour

@alookintohersoul @asiaaisa77 @jd-now-jq @naturalthrone22 @mrsbarnes-rogers @beyourownkindofbeautiful @beccacupcakesxo @toni9 @wonderlandfandomkingdom @partypoison00 @queenoftheworldisdead @doublesidedscoobysnacks @sophiealiice @richonne4life @coffeebooksandfandom @siempremamita @raveviolet @dumbchick @amennariee @briellableu @leebabe444 @31miw-inkpsycho

@rororo06 @disaster-rose @bugngiz @yourwonderbelle @queenbetter @melaninhawtie @bekindbecoolbeyou @heartfullofgolden @idkiwantchocolatee @missuniee @avngrsfangirl @a-highly-opinionated-mess @19jammmy @nunya7394 @eltima02 @motheroffae @luckydiorxoxo

@majx00 @bbhyuneee @queenanababy @ravenqueen27 @multi-fandom5 @xsweetdellzx @bqueensweet @misswolff @g-l-o-b-e-w-h-o-r-e @blveeeeeee @majx00 @rowansshit @tian-monique

#lewis hamilton fanfiction #lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton fanfic #if this is love you need to mean it 3

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just-sp-in-inginthevoid · 3 months

Text

Translations for

These

This

And, this playlist!

Dumpster

Louane, Si t'étais là/if you were there

Mansfield.YTA, Soir après soir/Night after night

Marc Lavoine, Chère amie/Dear friend

Pomme, Adieu mon homme/Farewell my man (Eng sub on the video)

Alice et Moi, C'est toi qu'elle préfère/It's you whom she prefers (Eng sub on the video)

Lomepal, à peu près/more or less

Casseurs Flowters, Le mal est fait/The harm has been done

Bigflo & Oli, Rendez-vous là-haut/Let's meet up there

[Mikey] The face of a tired murderer

Igorrr, Tout Petit Moineau/ Really little sparrow (no subtitles needed, no lyrics)

Mansfield.YTA, Je ne rêve plus/I don't dream anymore

Lomepal, Ne me ramène pas/Don't bring me back

Mansfield.YTA, Pour oublier je dors/To forget I sleep

Mansfield.YTA, Jamais, Jamais/Never, Never

The ghost by the water tank (Japanese song without English subtitles available on youtube)

Please let me die early (Japanese song without English subtitles available on youtube)

Pomme, Ceux qui rêvent/Those who dream (Eng sub on the video)

Bigflo & Oli, Autre Part/Somewhere else

[Takeomi] Bring us rain, God of War

Orelsan, Le chant des sirènes/The sirens' song

Orelsan, La fête est finie/Party's over (technically Black Dragon 1stGen, also could fit in Dumpster)

Casseurs Flowters, 06:16 - Des histoires à raconter/06:16 am - Stories to tell (technically Black Dragon 1stGen, also could fit in Dumspter)

Eddy de Pretto, Ego

GARGÄNTUA, Immoral & Illégal/Immoral & Illegal (technically could be put in Dumpster)

Charles Aznavour, Hier encore/Just yesterday (Eng sub on the video)

Satine, Applaudissez-moi/Applaud me

[Baji] Funereal lullaby

Satine, Remède/Remedy

Biglo & Oli, Dites rien à ma mère/Don't tell my mother anything

[Chifuyu] Funereal lullaby

Françoise Hardy, Mon amie la rose/My friend the rose (Eng sub on the video)

[Toman @ Mikey] Nothing remains but our regrets

GARGÄNTUA, Lucifer (je pense à toi)/Lucifer (I think of you)

Manu Chao, Je ne t'aime plus/I don't love you anymore

Bigflo & Oli, Alors, Alors/And so, And so

Eddy de Pretto, Urgence 911/911 Emergency

[Izana] Snow Angels

Eddy de Pretto, Mamère/Mymother

[Takemichi] Endless Trials

Daniel Balavoine, Je ne suis pas un héros/I'm not a hero

[Shinichiro] Turn the Ocean Black

Igorrr, Figue Folle/Crazy Fig (No subtitles needed, no lyrics)

edit: forgot that a part is in french, eheh, oopsie

Orelsan, Dans ma ville on traîne/In my town we hang out (technically Black Dragon 1stGen, also could fit in Dumpster)

Eddy de Pretto, Genre (technically could be put in Dumpster)

#Next time I have to translate Eddy de Pretto #make sure to stop me. Bc ill go and kill someone (most likely me)#The songs are so gooood but i dont have the vocabularyyyy anddddd sometimes the vocabulary doesnt even existttt #Translating is hard guys. Even more so with well-made and complex lyrics #anyway the translations for the playlist are here! yayy #I used my main blog for this

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nightcovefox · 4 months

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~Christmas Vines (Super Mario Edition)~

Warnings(?): Have some Oc’s there, swearing (A bit), A bit ooc-

Heads Up: R.P (Rabbid Peach), R.L (Rabbid Luigi), R.M (Rabbid Mario), R.D (Rabbid Daisy), R.Y (Rabbid Yoshi). (But it’s very obvious, yes?)

Enjoy Reading~!<3

~Hanging the Christmas Lights Outside~

R.L and R2: *tangled the lights together with the tree and both tied up*...HEEEELPPPP/LUIGI/PAPA!!!!

~~~

Beep-O: British Robot/AI don’t have an angel on top of their Christmas tree.. BUT WHERE THE €%#£&$ DID THE TEA BAG GO?!?-

~~~

R2: Merry Christmas everyone! *holding a little present*

*knock knock*

R2: Who is it?

Tom Phantom: Bonjour, mon fils~! Votre père préféré est là pour vous voir~! *picks him up and hugs him tightly*

Beep-O: EXCUSE YOU?!?

Jeanie: Not again…

~~~~~~~

Koopalings: *getting ready for family photo*

Kamek: *holding the camera*

Bowser: TAKE THE PICTURE!!!?

Iggy, Roy, and Mortan: WHERE ARE WE LOOKING-?!

*picture snaps*

Iggy, Roy, Mortan: *looking at the photo*

Iggy: Burn it?

Roy: Burn it.

Mortan:*holding matches*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Luigi: R.L it’s Christmas!

R.L: *gets up out of his bed* CHRISTMAS?!

Peach: He’s coming downstairs?

Luigi: Yep-

R.L: *falls off the balcony* IM COMING SANTA-

*CRASH*

Peach and Luigi: …

~~~~~~~

Larry: Toss me my keys-

Wendy: *throws a Christmas tree at him*

Larry: ..I said my keys.

Wendy: I thought you said ‘Christmas Tree’?

Larry: WHY THE FUCK WOULD I SAY ‘CHRISTMAS TREE’?!?—

~~~~

Shroom: *gasp* Look at the Christmas lights! *points at Traffic Lights*

Kin: Those are Stoplights! *pushes her away a bit*

Shroom: Ehhhhh, pretty sure they’re Christmas lights-

~~~~

R.D: All of the sounds are trapped in your mind.. *doing yoga*

R.Y: *starts screaming*

R.P and R.L: Wha-

~~~

Kamek: First day of Christmas my true love came to me~ Nothing cuz I’m single and I will forever die alone.

Bowser: *setting a dating pfp for Kamek*

~~~~

Toad: *setting up a Christmas gift*..You got this.

*1 minute later*

Toadette: *walks in the room with her gift, notices Toad* Are you okay-?

Toad: *wrapped up by Christmas paper*..CALL 911!!!-

~~~~~~

R.M: *sitting next to Edge, looks up and see a mistletoe, then looks at R.Y*

R.Y: *gives him a thumbs-up*

R.M: Hey look~ ..A mistletoe~ *tries to kiss her*

Edge: Do that. I won’t hesitate to break every bone in your body.

R.M: .. *kisses his hand*

R.Y: *whispers* Perfect!

~~~~~~

R.P: How are we supposed to put the star on top?

R.L: I got it! *jumps on the tree, but fell off with it* oW-

R.P: I should’ve recorded it. Damit.

#m+rsoh #rabbid mario #rabbid peach #Rabbid Daisy #rabbid yoshi #rabbid luigi #Beep-O #super mario #mario bros #mario and luigi #princess peach #bowser #kamek #koopalings

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angelloverde · 6 months

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"Mo Soul" Player Playlist 29 October

Brownout - 911 Is A Joke

Tower Of Power - Ebony Jam

Ernie Hinez & Kool Gang The Chocolate Buttermilk Generation (Jorun Bombay Edit)

Incognito - Incognito

Modulo 5 - Infected

J-Boogie's Dubtronic Science Feat. Rich Medina- Same Ol' Thang

Webster Lewis - El Bobo

Ron Disko - My Feelings

The Sure Fire Soul Ensemble - City Heights

Nightmares On Wax - 70s 80s (Rjd2 Remix)

Johnny Hammond - Call On Me

Alice Russell Feat. TM Juke - Hurry On Now

Brand New Heavies - Party

James Moody - First Thing In The Morning

Little Beaver - We Three

If you really want to enjoy music and help musicians and bands, buy their lp’s or cd’s and don’t download mp3 formats. There is nothing like good quality sound!!!

(Angel Lo Verde / Mo Soul)

#mo soul #playlist #music #soul #blues #funk #jazz #lounge #reggae #rock #fusion #house #r&b #afro funk #disco funk #acid jazz #nu jazz

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vineofroses · 29 days

Note

A, E, I, U please, Rose!! (Omg my autocorrect tried to change it to Rosé, do you think with your glasses makeover you should also change your name to Rosé? Whole new persona!!)

hello lemon :) thanks for these asks!! Rosé goes perfectly with the glasses, i am probably gonna change my username now. vine of rosé. take me to that vineyard. EDIT: TUMBLR DOESN'T LET YOU PUT SPECIAL CHARACTERS INTO YOUR USERNAME WHICH IS KINDA FUCKED UP. i was gonna do it though, i swear lemon.

A. of the fan fic you've written, which is your favorite and why?

honestly? I think it's this Old Guard fic from 2021 called large popcorn with a bag of m&ms. i keep rereading it because i finally decided to write the sequel for it and im always like, wtf. why can't i write like this anymore?? not that im saying it's sooooo well-written but it's got the vibe and pace i keep striving for in Lone Star fics. trying to get there again. for lone star fics, i think my favorite is the most recent one, halted beginnings because i think im getting pretty good at writing more poetically?? idk. and also kinda sorta writing sex scenes lollllllllllllll. really just the beginning of them so far. hahaha.

E is answered here!

I. How many fandoms have you written in? do you have a favorites?

so, counting the ones i wrote in on a different account, it's 9. Those include Angel, Buffy, Bones, Daredevil, Star Trek 2009, The Old Guard, RWRB, Shadowhunters, and 911: Lone Star. lone star is kinda favorite by default because that's the fandom that's i've made the most connections with through here. the others ones i didn't write for long, and didn't dive deep enough into those fics to really get into the zone with them the way i wanted to. for the current slate of fandoms im writing in, which is Lone Star, RWRB, Old Guard, and Shadowhunters, i literally cant pick a fave. i love them all, but i definitely want to write more for shadowhunters and rwrb and old guard.

U. Is there a pairing you would like to write but havent tried yet?

Judd and Grace would be really cool too. and maybe Paul and Asha. for RWRB, i reeeeeaaalllyyy want to get into June/Nora. I sorta wrote them in my one currently posted RWRB fic, but they were definitely secondary to Alex and Henry. so diving into them ore would be great.

send me an ask!

#fic writer asks #and answered

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chuuyasfanboy · 5 months

Text

currently in class, and I have a request to work on later, but I just wanted to share bsd music headcanons... you may notice my music taste is dominated by a certain William woodiam, it's okay guys don't mind that

If you haven't heard these songs listen to them right now they're so bsd coded, I might write fics based off of em someday..

Not nearly as many as I could, if someone requests it I can go back later and make a whole post with even more of em cuz omg

Dazai

Ofc the classic Skeleton Appreciation Day in Vestal, NY by Will Wood. I like this call this one the Dazai love ballad. "All love starts as a scheme", "Some of the best liars only want the truth", "If I come home baby will you show me your bones". Also, " A selfish book is always open" is SO Beast Dazai coded it's UNREAL.

Speaking of Beast Dazai, Yeah Yeah Yeah (V2) by Jack Conte. "I knew it all along", "I felt it in my heart, if theres even one to feel".

And for dark era/15 Era dazai, Haunt Me (x 3) by Teen Suicide is my go to. "I want a lo of friends and a lot of drugs", plus the speech at the end about self esteem guys it's such a vibe too it FEEEEEELS like dazai.

I can probably fit any Will Wood song to Dazai actually...

Chuuya

LEMONS by Brye and Cavetown is SOOOOO angsty one sided skk. Like it feels like chuuya ranting abt how horribly dazai treated him? Such a mood, he listens to it every day.

I also feel like chuuya would listen to jazzy phone? There was one I knew a while ago but I forgot the name but I swear guys it is so vibey.

Also it's so iconic, but those power boost songs. The ones you find in edit audio Playlists yk? The one in mind rn is Taking Over the World by Coyote Theory.

ALSO I can't remember the song, but it's by the Crane Sisters or something? All angsty feeling, and all like fire feeling. I think it's called Curses or smthn? Really good.

Poe

just one thought cuz it came on, but Bugbear by Chloe Moriondo. The music vibe feels a little too modern for him, he's definitely into classical music, but guys it is literally him simping for Ranpo I LOVE this song its cute asf<333 "I feels braindead next to you" ughhhh gay

Odasaku

Advice by Alex G. It feels so angsty and kinda like the vibes of when he dies? As well as Momento Mori by Will Wood just cuz of that same reason </3

Akutagawa

LAPLACE'S ANGEL BY WILL WOOD GUYS. GUYS i love this song. "The only ones in need of love are those who don't receive enough so evil ones should get a little more", "run your diagnostic tests it's positive nobody dies agnostic but we still dial 911", "from up here you look like ants in a row" GYSSSS this song is my favorite.

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blorbodiaz · 1 year

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- phoenix mode

#angel edits 911 #911 on fox #911 season 6 #evan buckely #buddie #poem edits

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jeeperso · 2 years

Text

D&D Quotes Without Context

Ravenloft edition, Invidia Arc FINAL

“SIR! I am trying to marry my girlfriend! I have to ask you to sit down!” "You're going to get married? How sweet. We should have a bridesmaid.” Mallochio snaps his finger and the Yochol appears. "And a priest to officiate.” He snaps another finger and the Yugoloth appears. Gorbash: “He's definitely not ordained.” yugoloth: ”I'm a notary. And I am licensed to marry people in most lower planes.” "He threatened to lay eggs in us, of course we killed him after that kind of threat.” "Also you turned me into a turtle and stuffed me into a desk. I'm going to skin you and make your faces into festive hand puppets.” Gorbash: “You will try. We'll find another desk to stick what's left of you.” "Dearly beloved... We are gathered here today in the name of -- Turtle.” "I have had just about enough of YOU.” "Wait till you get to know us more, you're sure to loathe us.” Vesh: “Guys, I am beginning the process of getting my powers back from Jim Henson's antichrist babies. I need you guys to hold on and not die.” Gorbash: "You heard the lady. No Dying. It's a rule." "You are going to pay for that one. Time to cut some hands off.” "No promises…” “ALL THE PROMISES!” “Can it, Jeoffry!” Gorbash: “Try and look down on us from the dirt bitch!” "I will drink a cafe latte with almond infused foam out of your FUCKING SKULL.” OOC: Casting Jonni’s Grabby Hand to grapple the Arcanaloth. "So help me, I'm going to see you punished and dressed in a stupid sailor suit for this.” “Wait, he’s not already dressed in a stupid sailor suit?” Poom: "Let's fight tentacles with tentacles." And summons an octopus to flop uselessly on top of the yochlol. The Yochol messily eats the octopi. "Thank you I was feeling a might peckish.” Gorbash: “Poom... don't give the enemy free snacks.” "That was your nephew!” "I'm a demon. You think we don't eat family members?” "Not raw or without seasonings at least.” "OW! QUIT IIIIIT!” Gorbash: “No, I don't think I will.” "Son of a Charcoal!” "Too many fire resistant beings in these domains.” Gorbash: “He died as he lived... like a [rude word].” His body then dissolves then flies over to the spirit board, which causes an arc of energy to strike Mallochio, causing him to writhe in pain. Azathoth: "Oh, so it's that kind of boss battle. ‘Kay." Nyx: ”Jonni, you can think of a better insult than that. Like 'Your mother was an angel and your father smelled holy to her.” Jonni: “I’m concentrating on the board, Vesh, and a giant fucking energy hand!” PHRASING! "You're lucky your friend distracted me with her unimaginative insult.” “I will use this hand to shave [sic] your tentacles down your own nose!” Yog-sothoth: "I'm not sure that's physically possible.” "Yog, if anyone could find a way to do it Jonni can.” Poom tries to hit the yucklol with a hammer with a clock face, but misses. Yog-sothoth: "Time-travel intervention!” And it misses the second-first time. Yog-sothoth: "Aw, poopy.” “Marsh, before he can do anything else do the fast, fast version!” "Then by the power of Lord HADES and DREAD PERSEPHONE, thou art wed.” GM: Alright how do you want to do this: Sailor Moon vs. the Doom Phantom or Ending of G Gundam? "I love the make the bad guys cry at weddings!” Then all that knows fear burns at the touch of Jonni’s Hand. Phrasing! I KNOW WHAT I SAID! "Nanny Marshall 911.” Gorbash: “Now let's finish this bullshit, and get the hell out of here so we can have the reception somewhere nice.” Poom: "Yeah: fire-hair goes out too easily.” You guys find yourselves all standing on a sunny beach. "Jonni! Don't antagonize the sun!” "Wait! We didn't set the place on fire before we left!” “Oh, Nyx. I did that thirty five minutes ago.” GM: Sadly the Vesh and Jonni honeymoon adventures: AKA the Yawning Portal runners vs. the Surfing Werewolves from Hell, will have to wait for another day. Nyx: ”Where did Marshal get the cowl and cape?” Jonni: “Muffin button.” Azathoth: "So much better than the capuchin button.”

#dungeons and dragons #dnd 5e #quotes without context #ravenloft

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daughter-of-melpomene · 1 year

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Alright, seeing as how I’m watching this show now and seeing as how @claryxjackson, @0itmelex0, and @lucys-chen all make such amazing edits for their OCs in this fandom, I have gone and made myself a 911 OC.

I introduce you all to Bowie Forrester!! It might take me a couple days to make a formal intro post for him, but right now please know that he’s a poly Buck + Eddie ship, the dorkiest firefighter Los Angeles has ever seen, and my precious baby already.

I look forward to introducing him to all of you!! 🖤🖤🖤

#oc randomness #new oc #oc: bowie forrester #911 oc #fic: ho hey

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twwpress · 1 year

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Briefing #17 - October 16th - October 22nd

Welcome back to the Weekly Press Briefing, where we bring you highlights from The West Wing fandom each week, including new fics, ongoing challenges, and more! This briefing covers all things posted from October 16 – October 22, 2022. Did we miss something? Let us know; you can find our contact info at the bottom of this briefing!

Challenges/Prompts:

The following is a roundup of open challenges/prompts. Do you have a challenge or event you’d like us to promote? Be sure to get in touch with us! Contact info is at the bottom of this briefing.

Trope Soup: A Josh/Donna Tropes Fest is open for prompt submissions and claims. Fics were revealed on Saturday, October 22. The collection remains open to submissions. Learn more here.

The October 20 prompts in 20 days are up on Tumblr.

Big Block of Cheese Day is celebrating its one year anniversary with October’s prompts.

Photos/Videos:

Here’s what was posted from October 16 - October 22.

Allison Janney posted a photo from the Academy Museum Gala.

Allison Janney posted the trailer for her upcoming film, The People We Hate at Weddings.

Janel Moloney posted a photo of her son’s Flobsters.

Rob Lowe posted a photo of himself on a motorcycle taken while filming 911 Lonestar.

Richard Schiff posted a photo with The Good Doctor co-stars Freddie Highmore and Noah Galvin.

@JanelMilfoney: October 16 | October 17 | October 18 | October 19 | October 20

Edits/Artwork:

#JOSHDONNA: mastermind by @EditsbyLu/@thehellisL [VIDEO EDIT]

#JOSHLYMAN: everybody agrees by @sinistercherubs [VIDEO EDIT]

Creator Spotlight:

Each week, we will talk to a fandom creator and interview them about their work and their process. We’ll also give you the opportunity to ask them questions, too! Want to be a featured creator? Find us via one of the methods listed at the end of the briefing!

This week’s creator is @thefinestmuffin on twitter and thefinestmuffins on ao3. You can find the spotlight on tumblr or on twitter.

This Week in Canon:

Welcome to This Week in Canon, where we revisit moments in The West Wing that occurred on these dates during the show’s run.

Season 1, Episode 5: The Crackpots and These Women aired on October 20, 1999.

Season 2, Episode 3: The Midterms aired on October 18, 2000.

Season 3, Episode 2: Manchester Part II aired on October 17, 2001.

Season 4, Episode 5: Debate Camp aired on October 16, 2002.

Season 5, Episode 4: Han aired on October 22, 2003.

Season 6, Episode 1: NSF Thurmont aired on October 20, 2004.

Season 7, Episode 4: Mr. Frost aired on October 16, 2005.

Editor’s Choice:

This week, we’re featuring some fics related to the episodes that came out this week in years past!

Season 1, Episode 5: The Crackpots and These Women:

let me give you pinky promise kisses by fleurfemme | Rated E | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | Complete | Josh can't live with the guilt. Donna can't live without knowing how it would feel to kiss him.

“I’m not going to be brave,” he told her. “If something bad happens.”

“You don’t have to be.”

Voices of His Better Angels by nubianamy | Not Rated | Jed Bartlet/Leo McGarry | Complete | While the rest of the senior staffers eat chili, the President attempts to fix Leo's marriage.

to remember or to forget; by LookingForShadows | Rated G | Josh Lyman, Joanie Lyman | Complete | "What do you do with the memories of someone who's gone?" Josh thinks of his sister.

Season 2, Episode 3: The Midterms:

sacred new beginnings by JessBakesCakes | Rated G | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | Complete | But now, he doesn’t need her anymore – or he shouldn’t, anyway. So she’ll go back to her apartment, and he’ll go back to work, and things will go back to normal, whatever the hell that means.

There’s something about that idea that makes his stomach churn.

Season 3, Episode 2: Manchester Part II:

Insomnia by orphan_account | Rated G | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | Complete | Deleted scene from Manchester Part II. Josh can't sleep, so he goes to bother Donna.

Season 4, Episode 5: Debate Camp:

Maybe She Always Knew the Ending by IDreamofAJ [archived by westwingfancentral_archivist] | Rated T | C. J. Cregg/Toby Ziegler | Complete | Maybe she never really wanted him.

Season 5, Episode 4: Han:

getting caught up in a moment by payback16 | Rated E | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | Complete | He looks up from the files on his desk and sees her leaning against the doorway, shrouded in soft light, a gentle smile playing at her lips, looking like she belongs there. Here. With him. It settles something in his chest.

or: donna ties his bowtie and promptly unties it

Season 6, Episode 1: NSF Thurmont:

all we know is don’t let go by mikaylawrites for defendingtheearth | Rated T | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | Complete | Donna nods, but a tear slips down her cheek. Josh reaches for her, wishing he weren’t wearing gloves so she could feel his skin on hers. She grabs his hand with both of hers, clutching onto him with surprising force until the anesthesiologist puts her under and her grip slackens. He watches her eyes close, unable to tear his gaze from her face.

The last thing he wants to do is let go of her hand, but one of the nurses gently tells him he has to leave. They guide him out of the room, and the moment the door closes behind him, Josh knows.

He’s in love with Donna.

In which the events of the Gaza arc bring Josh and Donna together rather than drive them apart (and Donna’s mental health gets the attention it deserves).

Season 7, Episode 4: Mr. Frost:

does she mouth “fuck you” forever by JediAnnieScrambler for claudiasjeancregg | Rated T | C. J. Cregg/Toby Ziegler | Complete | he tells her. she doesn’t want to hear.

Fics:

Presenting your weekly roundup of fics posted in the tag for The West Wing on Archive of Our Own. If you are so inclined, please be sure to leave the authors some love in the form of kudos or comments. Be mindful of posted warnings/tags for each story.

Josh/Donna

if you were in an accident by helsinkibaby | Rated G | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | Complete

Books, Board Games, and Bow Ties by mlea7675 | Rated G | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | Complete

Congresswoman Lyman Meets the Press by mlea7675 | Rated G | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | Complete

leave what's heavy behind by WitchyPrentiss | Rated G | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | Complete

OMG! They Were Roommates! by WitchyPrentiss | Rated G | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | In Progress

How Will He Find Me by Shinyrosa | Rated T | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | Complete

Let’s Go Home by Shinyrosa | Rated T | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | Complete

we are a wave of white noise by flowersinapril | Rated T | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | In Progress

darling, so it goes (some things are meant to be) by mikaylawrites | Rated M | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | In Progress

You Deserve Better, Baby. by casliyn for thefinestmuffins | Rated M | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | Complete

the moon’s never seen me before (i’m reflecting light) by JessBakesCakes for thefinestmuffins | Rated E | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | Complete

what the head makes cloudy, the heart makes very clear by phos3 | Not Rated | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | Complete

Jed/Abbey

out, out damned spot by jazzjo | Rated G | Abbey Bartlet/Jed Bartlet | Complete

Miracle by imperfectirises | Rated M | Abbey Bartlet/Jed Bartlet | In Progress

Wait For Me by imperfectirises | Rated M | Abbey Bartlet/Jed Bartlet | In Progress

Inauguration by AndAllThatMishigas | Rated M | Abbey Bartlet/Jed Bartlet | Complete

Other Pairings/Gen Fic

enumerated powers by jazzjo | Rated G | Evelyn Baker Lang & Christopher Mulready, C. J. Cregg/Evelyn Baker Lang | Complete

(taught me) how to fail by jazzjo | Rated G | Evelyn Baker Lang/Christopher Mulready | Complete

it started off with a kiss... now it ended up like this by imawkwardlysoc | Rated G | Sam Seaborn/Original Female Character | In Progress

The Language of Tomorrow by silasfinch for justdreaming88 | Rated T | Ellie Bartlet/Original Female Character(s) | In progress

We’re Not Done Yet by krazykitkat | Rated T | Danny Concannon/C.J. Cregg | Complete

Figures of Speech by Darsynia Rated T | Toby Ziegler/Original Female Character | In progress

You’ve Got Time by youvebeenlivingfictional | Rated E | Josh Lyman/Reader | Complete

Pieces Form the Whole by eowyn_of_rohan | Rated E | Josh Lyman/Sam Seaborn | In Progress

Multiple Pairings

The Short List by mlea7675, Spybaby47 | Rated T | Abbey Bartlet/Jed Bartlet, Alexandra Bartlet/Logan Huntzberger, Donna Moss/Sam Seaborn, Danny Reagan/C.J. Cregg, Helen Santos/Matt Santos | Complete

rewrite an ending or two by jazzjo | C.J. Cregg/Andrea Wyatt, Danny Concannon/C.J. Cregg

31 Days of Halloween by sam_writes_fics | Rated T | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss, Abbey Bartlet/Jed Bartlet, Josh Lyman/Sam Seaborn, C. J. Cregg/Toby Ziegler | In Progress

Not Quite the Parent Trap by eowyn_of_rohan | Rated T | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss, Ainsley Hayes/Sam Seaborn | In Progress

air force ones by rearviewmirror | Rated T | Zoey Bartlet/Charlie Young, Josh Lyman/Donna Moss, Abbey Bartlet/Jed Bartlet/Leo McGarry | Complete

Red, White, and Boo by fleurfemme (Scream crossover) | Rated M | C. J. Cregg/Toby Ziegler, Josh Lyman/Donna Moss, Dewey Riley/Gale Weathers, Ellie Bartlet/Sidney Prescott | In Progress

THE WEEKLY PRESS BRIEFING TEAM CAN BE REACHED VIA THE FOLLOWING METHODS:

Twitter: @TWWPress

Email: [email protected]

Feel free to let us know if we missed something, if you have an event you’d like us to promote, or if you have an item that you’d like included in the next briefing!

xx, What’s next??

#the west wing #tww #tww fandom #tww fic rec #weekly press briefing #josh lyman #toby ziegler #cj cregg #donna moss #sam seaborn #jed bartlet #abbey bart #leo mcgarry #josh/donna #cj/toby #tww rare pairs

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biketalkla · 1 year

Audio

Transcript: bit.ly/40mUafj

Intro: Seamus and Don at the San Fernando Valley CicLAvia

0:52 on.soundcloud.com/vXEK4 Counsel: Los Angeles' City Council District 4 Councilmember Nithya Raman at CicLAvia on biking, the need to get people out of cars, and what can get the LA City Council to implement the City's mobility plan. With Seamus Garrity.

13:14 on.soundcloud.com/CFyTx Beautiful day: Metrics of success at CicLAvia in Los Angeles' San Fernando Valley, with Tafarai Bayne, CicLAvia's Chief Strategist. By Seamus Garrity.

14:20 on.soundcloud.com/4Gq7J Origin story: How a volcano may have inspired the invention of the bicycle, with Lindsay Sturman and Seamus Garrity.

17:45 on.soundcloud.com/86ap6 Culture: Although France is thought of, rightly, as surpassing countries like the U.S. in bike and safe streets infrastructure, rural roads can be unsafe for cyclists. Recovering engineer Charles Marohn and Beate Kubitz, a new resident of Feuilla, France, discuss the need to create cycling culture in rural areas.

35:49 on.soundcloud.com/crKgo 911: A state of emergency has been declared in Carlsbad, California because of rising cyclist deaths. Taylor Nichols discusses the issue with Del Mar Times reporter Luke Harold and San Diego Bicycle Coalition Advocacy Director Will Rhatigan. www.delmartimes.net/news/story/2022…cycle-accidents

48:50 on.soundcloud.com/4rPGA Visualize it: The U.S. Department of Transportation has released new charts showing the cities with most and least traffic fatalities per capita, a departure from the USDOT's more car-centric metric of traffic deaths per vehicle mile travelled. Streetsblog USA Editor Kea Wilson unpacks the data. twitter.com/streetsblogkea/stat…1623753663863717889

Editing by Kevin Burton. Closing Song, "Bike," by Mal Webb. Interstitial music, "Just Moving," by Don Ward. Visit BikeTalk.org to be involved.

#BikeTalk #ciclavia #sanfernandovalley #nithyaraman #tafaraibayne

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angelloverde · 11 months

Photo

"Mo Soul" Player Playlist 19 May

1. Brownout - 911 Is A Joke 2. Tower Of Power - Ebony Jam 3. Ernie Hinez & Kool Gang The Chocolate Buttermilk Generation (Jorun Bombay Edit) 4. Incognito - Incognito 5. Modulo 5 - Infected 6. J-Boogie's Dubtronic Science Feat. Rich Medina- Same Ol' Thang 7. Webster Lewis - El Bobo 8. Ron Disko - My Feelings 9. The Sure Fire Soul Ensemble - City Heights 10. Nightmares On Wax - 70s 80s (Rjd2 Remix) 11. Johnny Hammond - Call On Me 12. Alice Russell Feat. TM Juke - Hurry On Now 13. Brand New Heavies - Party 14. James Moody - First Thing In The Morning 15. Little Beaver - We Three

If you really want to enjoy music and help musicians and bands, buy their lp’s or cd’s and don’t download mp3 formats. There is nothing like good quality sound!!!

(Angel Lo Verde / Mo Soul)

#mo soul #playlist #music #soul #blues #funk #jazz #lounge #reggae #rock #fusion #house #r&b #afro funk #disco funk #acid jazz #nu jazz

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masterofd1saster · 1 year

Text

CJ current events 10nov22

Fair point by Nellie Bowles

→ Someone please protect Paul: Paul Pelosi, the 82-year-old investment banker husband of Nancy, was brutally attacked in his home late last week. A lot of theories sprang from that assault. On the right, the alleged attacker, David DePape, was Paul Pelosi’s gay lover. On the left, the attacker was a totally sane Fox News MAGA-inspired soldier on a mission from Tucker. Both of these are wrong. The suspect seems to be a mentally ill psychotic on drugs. And whenever we talk about psychotic people on drugs, I think of Michael Shellenberger (in a good way!). He delivers this week with a piece that includes interviews with the suspect’s ex and neighbors who say the guy’s insane. He’s a familiar character out west.

One sticking point for the right-wingers: Why would the alleged attacker let Paul Pelosi make a phone call to 911? Doesn’t that seem a little odd? To me, no. You tell a crazy man the phone is a banana and you’re making a call to the moon, and it might work. Why were they both in their underwear? I see semi-naked men in psychotic states wandering the sidewalks all the time, and I try to count how many blocks they are from my house (fewer than four blocks, and I don’t love it). It sounds to me like Paul Pelosi managed to talk his way out of being beaten to death.

Stepping back, though: Between driving himself around Napa after dinner parties (pleading guilty to a DUI with injury) and the fact that he seems to have little to no private security when Nancy is out of town, it’s clear no one is taking care of Paul Pelosi. TGIF worries about Paul.

https://www.commonsense.news/p/tgif-matches-made-in-hell-edition

***

Killed someone for that?

A Denver man who used an AK-47 to kill a woman and wound a man while the couple was walking their dog near Coors Field was sentenced Friday to life in prison without parole.

Michael Close was sentenced for the June 10, 2020, death of 21-year-old Isabella Thallas, according to the Denver District Attorney’s Office. He was also sentenced to a 48-year prison term, consecutive to the life sentence, for wounding Darian Simon. Close was ordered to pay $37,000 in restitution.***

On Sept. 22, a Denver jury convicted Close of one count of first degree murder – after deliberation, and one count of first degree murder – extreme indifference; two counts of attempt to commit first degree murder; and two counts of first degree assault.

On the day of the shooting, Close first yelled out his window at the couple as they urged their dog to “go potty,” then went to another room, retrieved an AK-47 he’d taken from a friend who was a Denver police sergeant, returned to the window and began shooting.

He fired 24 times, prosecutors said. Thallas was hit in the back and died instantly; Simon was shot twice. He ran from the scene until he collapsed not far away.*** https://www.denverpost.com/2022/11/04/isabella-thallas-murder-michael-close-sentence/#:~:text=A%20Denver%20man%20who%20used,the%20Denver%20District%20Attorney's%20Office.

***

Accessories

DENVER — Police on Friday arrested the brother of the man wanted in connection with the murders of four people in Aurora last weekend for investigation on a charge of accessory to first-degree murder after the fact.

The Aurora Police Department said officers arrested Juan Angel Castorena, 18, near West Belleview Avenue and South Federal Boulevard in Denver sometime Friday.

The department says it is investigating him for accessory after the fact but that “there is no evidence indicating Juan was involved in the shootings on Geneva Street on October 30, 2022.”

Joseph Castorena, 21, is still at large, Aurora police said. He is accused by police of shooting and killing 51-year-old Jesus Serrano, 22-year-old Maria Anita Serrano, 20-year-old Kenneth Eugene Green Luque, and 49-year-old Rudolfo Salgado Perez at a home around 2 a.m. Sunday in the 900 block of North Geneva Street in Aurora. Two young children and a woman who were at the house at the time were unharmed, Aurora’s police chief said.

The department said investigators believe the shooting stemmed from a domestic dispute between the woman and Joseph Castorena. Castorena has a restraining order against him that prevents him from going near the home or his domestic partner.*** https://www.denver7.com/news/local-news/brother-of-suspect-in-aurora-quadruple-murder-arrested-in-denver

***

You cut him off, and you rage?

A 26-year-old Aurora man has been arrested on suspicion of attempted first-degree murder of a peace officer after authorities allege a passenger in his car shot at an officer during a road-rage incident.

Jaquey Talone Wyrick cut off an off-duty officer on Thursday morning near a fast food parking lot near Mississippi Avenue and Chambers Road in Aurora, police said. He then chased the officer to Interstate 225, where a 16-year-old passenger allegedly fired multiple shots at the officer’s car.

The teen, who has not been identified, later died by suicide after barricading himself in an apartment in the 1000 block of South Elkhart Way, police said.*** https://www.denverpost.com/2022/11/04/aurora-road-rage-arrest-i-225/

***

Repub report on politicization of FBI - it’s only one party

https://republicans-judiciary.house.gov/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/HJC_STAFF_FBI_REPORT.pdf

It’s only the Repub view.

***

More weird Paul Pelosi news - how urban legends grow

NBC News has sparked backlash by pulling a segment describing the attack on Paul Pelosi, claiming the segment did not meet NBC News reporting standards.

The report said NBC had learned from sources that “when officers responded to the high priority call, they were seemingly unaware they had been called to the home of the speaker of the House.”

“After a knock and announce, the front door was opened by Mr. Pelosi,” the NBC video report said. “The 82-year-old did not immediately declare an emergency or try to leave his home, but instead, began walking several feet back into the foyer, towards the assailant, and away from police.”

“It’s unclear if the 82-year-old was already injured or what his mental state was, say sources,” the report continued. “According to court documents, when the officer asked what was going on, defendant smiled and said ‘Everything is good.’ But instantaneously a struggle ensued as police clearly saw David DePape strike Paul Pelosi in the head with a hammer.”

NBC has since pulled this report.*** https://www.dailysignal.com/2022/11/04/nbc-raises-eyebrows-pulling-paul-pelosi-segment/

DePape is probably just some random freak from Berkley, but all the secrecy and suppression is fertile ground for conspiracy theories and urban legends. If you don’t want conspiracy theories, be transparent, report the facts, publish the pertinent parts of the videos, etc.

***

While you were gone

Five adults were found dead inside a Maryland home Friday, sheriff's officials said.

Deputies from the Charles County Sheriff's Office and La Plata Police Department officers responded to a report of a shooting at the home in La Plata about 4 p.m., the sheriff's office tweeted.

The La Plata officers found five adults dead inside, the sheriff's office said.***

The sheriff's office initially told the station the homeowner discovered and reported the bodies.*** https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/five-found-dead-maryland-home-rcna55783

***Tues

A cargo ship sailor was sentenced to 20 years in federal prison Monday for stabbing to death his supervisor off the coast of Los Angeles during the pandemic.

Filipino national Michael Monegro, 44, pleaded guilty in May to stabbing Manolito Santillan 31 times in the face and body with a pair of knives that he wielded in both hands, the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the Central District of California said.***

The MSC Ravenna, a 153-ton Liberian-flagged ship, was 80 miles off the coast finishing up a two-week journey from Shanghai. Monegro began arguing with Santillan in a hallway outside the ship’s locker room, saying, “You are the one who destroyed my family.”

Monegro then began the attack, knocking Santillan to the ground and climbing on top of him. This was witnessed by several crew members. At one point, the crew heard Santillan say, “What is happening, Michael? I hope the Lord forgives you. I’m dead, Michael.”

Someone threw a trash can at Monegro to stop the attack, and he was eventually restrained but not until after Santillan had died.

“Monegro stopped stabbing the victim only when he became too tired to continue,” the U.S. attorney’s office said in a statement.*** https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/news/crime/sailor-gets-20-year-sentence-for-cargo-ship-murder

***

If your livelihood is threatened by crime

Until this year, Carlos Collado would never have put political campaign signs in the windows of the supermarkets he runs in the Bronx and Harlem. But all that changed when the state’s controversial bail reform initiatives threatened to derail his business.

Now, there are signs in Spanish supporting Lee Zeldin, the Republican candidate for governor, in the windows of four of his six establishments. Collado, who describes himself as a life-long supporter of the Democrats, said he changed his allegiance following a rash of shoplifting and sometimes violent encounters at his stores.

“We normally don’t post political signs because we don’t want to offend any of our customers, but we were pleasantly surprised with Zeldin’s promises to get tough on crime,” Collado, 55, told The Post Wednesday. “Since bail reform, there has been a tremendous uptick in shoplifting. Now people are getting aggressive and they feel they have the right to commit these crimes. They feel more emboldened.”

Collado said he is a member of trade group the National Supermarket Association, which has now contributed more than $80,000 to Zeldin’s campaign.*** https://nypost.com/2022/11/03/why-democratic-latino-supermarket-owners-support-lee-zeldin/

***

irony

President Joe Biden, former President Barack Obama, and Democratic candidates John Fetterman and Josh Shapiro held a rally in North Philadelphia at Temple University on Saturday night. They discussed several topics ranging from abortion to violent crime. All of them expressed how much better Democrats were at helping people than Republicans and told the crowd they were the ones who truly cared about people. Yet, less than 2 miles from where they were rallying, a gunman opened fire and shot nine people.*** https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/opinion/obama-biden-gun-violence-philly-mass-shooting

***

The battle to be San Francisco's district attorney has gotten ugly since the recall of soft-on-crime predecessor Chesa Boudin — and voters will now have their say to cap off a bitter campaign waged by four main candidates.

A series of issues plagued Brooke Jenkins, who was appointed by Mayor London Breed to clean up the city’s crime-ridden streets after Boudin's exit. Jenkins has cracked down on crime, specifically drug dealers and felons, but several slip-ups have also dogged her campaign for reelection.

However, some say her biggest problem in deep-blue San Francisco could be that she is actually enforcing the law rather than looking the other way.*** https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/news/california-san-francisco-da-election-brooke-jenkins

***Wed

I hope that cat video was adorable

A former American military contractor pleaded guilty [8nov22] to involuntary manslaughter for fatally striking an active duty U.S. Air Force medical doctor with a forklift as she was walking on Al Dhafra Airbase in the United Arab Emirates.

According to court documents, on Nov. 27, 2020, Ari Taylor, 32, of Roxboro, North Carolina, was operating a forklift to deliver pallets of water on Al Dhafra Airbase in his role as a civilian employed by a U.S. military contractor. He drove the forklift through a space shared by vehicles and pedestrians, between a medical clinic and living quarters. Taylor acknowledged that pedestrians were frequently present in this area.

At the time of the fatal collision, Taylor was distracted while using his cell phone and never saw Captain Kelliann Leli. A crash reconstruction expert concluded that Taylor had almost nine seconds to prevent the crash, but Taylor admitted that he did not see Capt. Leli and failed to take any steps to avoid striking her with the forklift.

Taylor pleaded guilty to one count of involuntary manslaughter. He is scheduled to be sentenced on April 25, 2023. *** https://www.justice.gov/opa/pr/american-contractor-pleads-guilty-death-us-military-doctor

***

stupid can be a crime

Two police officers face criminal charges for leaving a woman handcuffed in the back of a police SUV parked on railroad tracks and failing to move the vehicle as a train was barreling down the tracks.

Fort Lupton Police Department officer Jordan Steinke is charged with one count of criminal attempt to commit manslaughter, one count of second-degree assault and one count of reckless endangerment, according to a news release from the 19th Judicial District Attorney’s Office.

Steinke is on administrative leave, Fort Lupton chief John Fryar said.

Platteville Police Department Sgt. Pablo Vazquez is charged with one count of reckless endangerment, one count of obstructing a highway or other passageway, one count of careless driving and one count of parking where prohibited, the DA’s news release said.*** https://www.summitdaily.com/news/police-officers-charged-for-leaving-handcuffed-woman-inside-cop-car-on-train-tracks-before-locomotive-crash/

***

is that a crime?

Cain Velasquez was granted $1 million bail Tuesday after eight months in custody.

The former UFC heavyweight champion is being charged with attempted murder and 10 other gun-related charges in Santa Clara County (Calif.). Velasquez is being accused of chasing down a man, Harry Goularte, in his vehicle and shooting at him. Goularte is being charged with sexually assaulting a young relative of Velasquez.

Velasquez said in a civil lawsuit filed in June that Goularte molested Velasquez's 4-year-old son.

Velasquez will have to wear a GPS tracker and not come within 300 yards of the alleged victims in the case, per Velasquez's attorney, Mark Geragos.***

Velasquez, 40, had been in jail since Feb. 28 and pleaded not guilty in August. He was granted bail Tuesday by Judge Arthur Bocanegra at the end of a pretrial hearing after previously having been denied bail four times by Judge Shelyna Brown. Velasquez allegedly shot Goularte's step-father Paul Bender when he fired into the vehicle Goularte was riding in. Bender sustained no serious injuries.

Velasquez followed Goularte's truck in his own vehicle on an "11-mile, high-speed chase" through the city of San Jose, rammed the truck and fired a 40-caliber handgun multiple times into the truck, which carried Goularte, Bender and Goularte's mother, Patricia, according to the DA's office. Bender was hit with a bullet, though he sustained non-life-threatening injuries.

Velasquez's son told police Feb. 24 that Goularte took him into the bathroom of a daycare center and touched his genitals, per a court document. The child said Goularte told him not to tell anyone what happened and that this situation might have occurred "100 times." The child told police that they witnessed Goularte go into the bathroom with other kids, as well.*** https://www.espn.com/mma/story/_/id/34981513/ex-ufc-champion-cain-velasquez-freed-bail-murder-case

***Thurs

Not bad for a capital crime

A Maryland man and his wife were sentenced [9nov22] for conspiracy to communicate Restricted Data related to the design of nuclear-powered warships.

Jonathan Toebbe, 44, of Annapolis, was sentenced today to 232 months, over 19 years, of incarceration. His wife, Diana Toebbe, 46, was sentenced to 262 months, more than 21 years, of incarceration. The Toebbes pleaded guilty to the conspiracy in August 2022.***

According to court documents, at the time of his arrest, Jonathan Toebbe was an employee of the Department of the Navy who served as a nuclear engineer and was assigned to the Naval Nuclear Propulsion Program, also known as Naval Reactors. He held an active national security clearance through the Department of Defense, giving him access to “Restricted Data” within the meaning of the Atomic Energy Act. Restricted Data concerns design, manufacture or utilization of atomic weapons, or production of Special Nuclear Material (SNM), or use of SNM in the production of energy – such as naval reactors. Jonathan Toebbe worked with and had access to information concerning naval nuclear propulsion including information related to military sensitive design elements, operating parameters and performance characteristics of the reactors for nuclear powered warships.

According to court documents, Jonathan Toebbe sent a package to a foreign government, listing a return address in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, containing a sample of Restricted Data and instructions for establishing a covert relationship to purchase additional Restricted Data. Jonathan Toebbe began corresponding via encrypted email with an individual whom he believed to be a representative of the foreign government. The individual was really an undercover FBI agent. Jonathan Toebbe continued this correspondence for several months, which led to an agreement to sell Restricted Data in exchange for thousands of dollars in cryptocurrency.

On June 8, 2021, the undercover agent sent $10,000 in cryptocurrency to Jonathan Toebbe as “good faith” payment. Shortly afterwards, on June 26, Jonathan Toebbe serviced a dead drop by placing an SD card, which was concealed within half a peanut butter sandwich and contained military sensitive design elements relating to submarine nuclear reactors, at a pre-arranged location. After retrieving the SD card, the undercover agent sent Jonathan Toebbe a $20,000 cryptocurrency payment. In return, Jonathan Toebbe emailed the undercover agent a decryption key for the SD Card. A review of the SD card revealed that it contained Restricted Data related to submarine nuclear reactors. On Aug. 28, 2021, Jonathan Toebbe made another “dead drop” of an SD card in eastern Virginia, this time concealing the card in a chewing gum package. After making a payment to Jonathan Toebbe of $70,000 in cryptocurrency, the FBI received a decryption key for the card. It, too, contained Restricted Data related to submarine nuclear reactors. The FBI arrested Jonathan Toebbe and his wife on Oct. 9, 2021 after he placed yet another SD card at a pre-arranged “dead drop” at a second location in West Virginia.*** https://www.justice.gov/opa/pr/maryland-nuclear-engineer-and-wife-sentenced-espionage-related-offenses

***

Blast from the recent past

FCI TALLAHASSEE

A low security federal correctional institution with a detention center.

https://www.bop.gov/locations/institutions/tal/

***

Naturally occurring drugs are a little different

Proposition 122 — decriminalizing psilocybin mushroom possession for adults, and eventually allowing state-licensed treatment centers to administer the drug under the supervision of trained staff — is headed to victory.

By Wednesday afternoon, the initiative led by more than 49,000 votes out of more than 1.8 million that had been counted. That represented slow but steady growth in the margin that seemed to point toward a win for the measure.

The Associated Press had not yet called the race, but opponents of the measure conceded that it had passed.*** https://www.cpr.org/2022/11/09/colorado-proposition-122-psilocybin-mushrooms-decriminalization-results-2022-election/

Still, do you want people driving while tripping? Flipping your burger while tripping? Walking down the middle of the street?

***

Good luck with that

BOULDER, Colo. – As we approach the 26th anniversary of JonBenet Ramsey’s homicide, the Boulder Police Department and Boulder County District Attorney’s Office wanted to provide another update about the ongoing homicide investigation.

Since JonBenet’s murder, detectives have investigated leads stemming from more than 21,000 tips, letters, and emails. We have traveled to 19 states to interview or speak with more than 1,000 individuals.***

As in any cold case homicide, the investigation can always benefit from the perspective of outside experts. So, in addition to talking with the private DNA labs, the Boulder Police Department will be consulting with the Colorado Cold Case Review Team in 2023. The Cold Case Review Team is comprised of professional investigative, analytical, and forensic experts from across the state. The Review Team is another tool to help further cold case homicide investigations, including making recommendations based on best practices in the investigative field.*** https://bouldercolorado.gov/news/news-release-jonbenet-ramsey-homicide-update

***

No! Don’t use deadly force to defend property.

NORTHGLENN, Colo. — A suspect was shot Wednesday morning while stealing a car from someone's driveway in Northglenn, police said.

The Northglenn Police Department said officers responded to the 300 block of Brigitte Drive on a report of a car theft at around 8 a.m.

Officers were told the car's owner saw someone trying to steal it from their driveway. The owner fired a gun into the vehicle as it was being taken, police said.

The suspect drove away, and the car was later found a few blocks away with no one inside.

Police said the suspect was later found and taken to the hospital to be treated for gunshot wounds. There's no word on his condition, but police said he is stable.*** https://www.9news.com/article/news/crime/car-theft-shooting/73-5a005017-ca29-4729-9ae4-fd6d8730287c

***

Kind of have a point?

The Washington Commanders accused the top prosecutor for Washington, D.C., of neglecting to tackle rising crime in a swipe ahead of a scheduled press conference expected to provide updates of an investigation into the team’s alleged misconduct.

A spokesperson for the NFL team denounced Attorney General Karl Racine just hours after his office announced it would “make a major announcement” on Thursday, accusing Racine of “making splashy headlines, based on offbeat legal theories, rather than doing the hard work of making the streets safe for our citizens.”

“Despite the out-of-control violent crime in D.C., today the Washington Commanders learned for the first time on Twitter that the D.C. Attorney General will be holding a press conference to ‘make a major announcement’ related to the organization’ tomorrow,” a spokesperson for the team said on Wednesday. “The Commanders have fully cooperated with the AG’s investigation for nearly a year. As recently as Monday, a lawyer for the team met with the AG who did not suggest at that time that he intended to take any action and, in fact, revealed fundamental misunderstandings of the underlying facts.”

The team's representative pointed to an incident earlier this year when Commanders running back Brian Robinson Jr. was attacked by two juveniles in an attempted carjacking that left him with non-life-threatening injuries. Police later arrested a 17-year-old in connection to the shooting, officials announced last week.*** https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/news/justice/commanders-slam-dc-on-crime-as-attorney-general-teases-investigation

***

Not much to say

A man convicted of strangling his mother and burying her body in her own yard nearly 20 years ago was executed in Texas Wednesday.

Tracy Beatty, 61, uttered “See you on the other side” before he received a lethal injection of pentobarbital at the state penitentiary in Huntsville.

The inmate was found guilty of murdering his mother, Carolyn Click, who was just a year older than Beatty is now, after an argument in her East Texas mobile home in November 2003.***

“I just want to thank …,” Beatty spoke directly to his wife watching from the viewing room behind glass. “I don’t want you leave you, baby. See you when you get there. I love you.”

He blew a kiss to her and then offered his gratitude to fellow death row inmates, naming several.

“I love you, brothers,” he said. “See you on the other side.”

Prosecutors said Beatty strangled his 62-year-old mom and then buried her body beside her mobile home in Whitehouse before blowing her money on drugs and alcohol.

The mother and son had a “volatile and combative relationship,” prosecutors said. Click confided in a neighbor that Beatty had assaulted her several times before her murder. She said he once had “beaten her so severely that he had left her for dead,” the neighbor, Lieanna Wilkerson, testified.

Beatty moved back in with Click a month before her death and she had been excited for his return so that they could have time to mend their relationship, Wilkerson said.*** https://nypost.com/2022/11/10/texas-death-row-inmate-tracy-beatty-who-killed-mother-carolyn-click-shares-final-words-before-execution/

***

Was a little concerned

For all my professional life I have fought for the rights of others. Then, eight years ago, I was accused of sexual abuse and found myself fighting for my own rights.

The accusation against me was unique: In other “Me Too” and related cases, the accused and the accuser knew each other. Sometimes they were lovers, office colleagues or friends. The issue was often one of degree: Was there consent? Did the flirtation amount to harassment?

My case was different: The issue was black and white; there was no gray area. Either I was totally innocent or guilty.

Now my accuser has recognized she may have made a mistake in identifying me as one of the men with whom she had sex. She has dismissed all claims against me and has ended the litigation. The accusation against me, it turns out, may have been a case of mistaken identity. The bottom line is — and as I have asserted from the very beginning — I did absolutely nothing wrong.

This case of mistaken identity has taken a terrible toll on me and my family. It has silenced my voice on behalf of Israel and other causes so important to me, especially now with recent rises in anti-Semitism and anti-Zionism. As a direct result of this mistaken allegation, I was not invited to speak at Temple Emanu-El, the 92nd Street Y, the Ramaz School and several universities.***

I wish I had never met Epstein, but I did the right thing in defending him, especially because he was so hated. People can disagree with my choice of clients, and as a law professor for a half-century, I welcome reasoned disagreement. But no one should misuse these disagreements as a justification for blindly supporting accusations in a rush to judgment.***

Since the biblical Joseph was falsely accused by Potiphar’s wife, civilizations have struggled to strike the appropriate balance in recognizing that accusations can be truthful or false. I commend Virginia Giuffre, who suffered much at Epstein’s hands, for having the courage to come forward and admit she may have made a mistake in identifying me. Now we can both move on with our lives.*** https://nypost.com/2022/11/09/exonerated-why-i-fought-to-clear-my-name-in-jeffrey-epstein-allegation/

***

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