#angst with happy ending

[munariplans]

the arrangement, part 2 | natasha romanoff

synopsis: part 2 to the arrangement // the happy ending for those who love natasha as much as i do :)

natasha romanoff x reader

word count: 4.1k words

a/n: let me know your thoughts, and i hope this warms your heart that there are happy endings in this world too!

masterlist

a month after yelena’s wedding, natasha approached you for a talk that turned your life upside down. she explained that when you left after the slow dance and bucky found someone new to play with, a woman had approached her, and asked her to dance. one thing led to another, and she was now asking for your permission to stop whatever arrangement the both of you were having, because she had wanted to make the woman her girlfriend. 

you scoffed internally, almost. asking for permission, natasha had always been too considerate for your feelings. even when she was pursuing someone else, she had wanted to make sure that you were fine with it. 

and how could you not be? you were the one who rejected her advances, kept a safe distance, respected her rules, after all. you were the one who let her go, first. 

so you swallowed the rising bile and resentment in your throat then, gripping the rails of the emergency staircase she had chosen to speak to you in harder, until your knuckles turned white, and nodded convincingly. 

“of course,” you had said, as nonchalantly as you could. don’t make this weird. don’t make this harder for yourself than it should be. “of course, we should stop.”

“oh, thank you,” natasha said in relief, before instinctively pulling you close to kiss your cheek. it was only when her lips landed against your skin that she froze, and immediately pulled away, “i…should probably stop that now, too.” 

you smiled sadly. “yeah, you should.”

she cleared her throat. you hugged her goodbye to save her the awkwardness. then, just before she shut the door to the emergency exit, you called, “natasha?”

she left the door open, head turning back to you, almost as if giving you a second chance. almost as if letting you say what you truly wanted to say, to fight for her instead of letting her go just like that. but you could only say, “i hope she treats you well, and i hope you’re happy.” 

“i hope so too.”

– 

you first met natasha’s girlfriend at a cafe, two weeks after the staircase incident. you had returned from a run with a friend, the very same friend that you had told about your not settling down, the very same friend that you then told how much you regretted those words, a day after yelena’s wedding. 

both of you waited for your coffees by the counter, but when a voice called out your name, you could instantly recognise it even from a mile away. 

your friend tried to hide his snicker as you made eye contact with natasha, who was just leaving, with a woman behind holding her hand. then you saw the reason why he did. she looked just like you. 

you tried to hide your shock as natasha came in for a side hug, you awkwardly patting her back. “hi.”

your eyes drifted to the woman behind, and you offered her your hand, “you must be…”

“...emily,” she told you. you realised natasha hadn’t even told you her name, “and you must be natasha’s best friend.”

“oh, i wouldn’t–”

“–she speaks very highly of you, so, i know.”

you snuck a look to natasha, who shrugged unconvincingly. she looked rather uncomfortable, even though she had been the one to approach you first. she must have known you would notice, and you were sparing her the embarrassment of asking why her girlfriend looked just like you. 

instead, you muttered a thanks to the redhead, and turned your attention back to her girlfriend, “well, i’m just glad she hasn’t chosen to speak about all the embarrassing things i do, as well.”

she chuckled, and natasha smiled back at her. you tried to hide your hurt from the gesture, turning back to the barista who had prepared your drinks. it was your cue to leave first. 

“it was nice meeting you, emily,” you said, then looking at natasha again, “and i’ll see you around, natasha.”

she noticed you stopped calling her natty.

–

yelena invited the both of you over for lunch at her new place one day, and when you asked if natasha would be bringing her new girlfriend, yelena was kind enough to tell you she was, allowing you to mentally prepare yourself. 

“please never forget that this is all your fault,” the blonde said, shutting the oven door as she peeked over your shoulder. you were helping her prepare said lunch, arriving an hour earlier to cook the pasta that she and natasha both loved. “you fumbled my sister. i tried to help you.”

you stopped stirring the sauce for a minute, before admitting, “i am happy for her.”

“no, you’re not,” yelena quipped, and you almost threw your spatula at her, “but you try to be. because that’s the kind of person you are. and while natasha may find that terribly endearing, i find it incredibly stupid and frustrating.”

“...not anymore.” you said under your breath, but yelena caught it. 

“what was that?”

“not anymore,” you clarified, “she doesn’t find it endearing anymore.”

“like i said, your faulttt!” she trailed off, walking to retrieve more ingredients from her garden.  

but then, natasha arrived without her girlfriend, almost two hours late. you knew natasha couldn’t stand being late. 

yelena asked her about it before you did. you thanked your lucky stars the woman had such a busybody for a sister. 

the tension in her shoulders, and the slight furrow in her eyebrows gave away the lies she was saying, when all she could come up with was, “she was busy. had a last-minute thing.”

you chose to look away when she made eye contact with you, returning your attention to the other guests. 

–

but when the lunch stretched into the evening and the other guests had begun to leave, you noticed natasha’s sadness hadn’t dissipated, and it was only left with you, her, and yelena in the house. 

you wanted to make sure she was fine, as you accompanied her outside on the porch when she promptly got up to get “fresh air”. 

“what’s bothering you?” you kept a safe distance, leaning against the side of the front door as natasha sat on the wooden bench.

she let out a soft smile. “there’s no hiding from you, huh?”

“i’m your best friend,” you replied. she nodded, defeated.

“i was just…a little annoyed that i waited for her to pick me up for nearly two hours, but she never came. i mean, it was fine if she couldn’t give me the lift, but i would’ve appreciated her telling me earlier, rather than cancelling and leaving me stranded at the last minute. and i wanted her to meet you, and yelena, properly, too. too bad she had a work commitment.”

you unfolded your arms, moving to sit beside her then. she looked like she needed the company. but natasha was strong, and she wasn’t so ready to show herself so vulnerable so soon. “but it’s stupid, it’s just a small thing. i’m okay now, and i really liked your pasta earlier.”

“i cooked extra and packed them into leftover containers for you. there should be enough to last a few more meals.” you replied. natasha’s smile looked genuine for the first time that day, upon hearing your words. 

you brought her in to rest her head on your shoulder. she sighed at the comfort of your perfume. it was one she missed inhaling dearly. rubbing her back then, you told her, “next time, if you need a lift, anytime, anywhere, just call me. i’ll come pick you up, no matter what.”

she never had to doubt or second-guess your words. you kept your promises. 

– 

natasha’s girlfriend showed up during the friendly bowling night that steve organised, you noticed, as the pair arrived an hour later than even tony, which was a feat.

“sorry,” emily was the one who apologised, although she looked anything but apologetic, face hiding a proud grin, “we got busy in the car.”

you were the only one in the group who didn't participate in the raucous boo’s and eww’s, instead turning your attention to counting the number of balls the team needed for the game. natasha looked almost embarrassed at the confession. she never was one to enjoy making her affairs public with others. 

–

halfway through the night, in the lane next to yours, natasha hit a strike for the first time in her life. you knew, as you caught her jumping excitedly mid-air and pointing towards the knocked down pins to her girlfriend. however, in response, the woman only gave her a half-hearted thumbs-up and returned to scrolling on her phone. she didn’t seem to acknowledge her girlfriend’s achievement at all. 

you turned an annoyed look at her, before your eyes found natasha, and she smiled at you, shrugging sadly. you immediately went over and congratulated her. 

“that was incredible,” you said excitedly, giving natasha high five. 

she didn’t look convinced. “yeah, i think i got lucky.”

“even so, you looked so cool,” you reassured her, “i definitely was jealous.”

she let out a small chuckle at your words. 

later on in the game, where the rounds had all bled into one long match and people were growing restless, natasha’s girlfriend got up to buy them drinks upon her request. maria elbowed you to talk to natasha alone for the first time that night, but you didn’t want to start anything you weren’t sure her girlfriend was comfortable with, even though natasha was left sitting alone in her own lane, eyes trained on you to walk up to her as well. you only gave a small wave.

you watched as her girlfriend returned after a while, handing natasha a blueberry soda, and cringing at the fact that you knew natasha didn’t like blueberry. 

“can we exchange it?” you heard natasha whisper, but her girlfriend wasn’t so kind. 

“it all tastes the same anyway, why can’t you just drink it? i paid an overpriced amount for that, you know?” 

you suddenly felt the urge to punch the living lights out of the woman, hearing what she said. you wondered why, when you were never a violent person before. perhaps the resigned look on natasha’s face played a vital part in your own feelings, as she nodded numbly and sipped the soda that she oh-so-didn’t enjoy. 

when her girlfriend had returned to hitting the pins again later on, you took the opportunity to leave your own team for a moment, ordering an extra cherry coke under the guise of buying your own snacks. 

you handed it to natasha as you came back, sneakily taking her blueberry soda away from her and throwing it in the trash nearby. you gave her a small wink, but the woman looked like she was ready to risk it all for you then. 

– 

it was emily who reached out to you first, regarding a six-month anniversary gift for natasha. you hardly believed it had been six months since natasha had broken your heart with another; it felt like time hadn’t moved at all. 

you agreed to it, accompanying her to the mall to look for things to get the love of your life and “just a girlfriend” to emily.

“anything in particular you’re looking for?” you asked. emily didn’t know. it was clear she had never gotten a gift for natasha in the duration that they’ve been together. you swallowed the annoyance down; different people had different ways of showing their love, you guessed. 

she stopped outside a jewellery shop, and said, “she has this necklace she’s been wearing since before i even met her. small one, with a flower pendant on it. it looks cheap, don’t you think? i should get her a new one.”

you struggled to hide the hurt and offence you took from her comment. “well, if she likes it enough to keep wearing it, i don’t think it should be an issue.” 

“you’re right. and a necklace is too expensive, anyway. i don’t think i’m ready for that kind of commitment yet,” she joked. you wondered why she would say that, when natasha had told you she was a successful banker. 

“six months is a pretty big commitment, no?” you stayed outside the shop, when she had clearly walked a bit of a distance away. she turned, chuckling at you. 

“i don’t know. i just don’t…feel it yet, that connection. i’m pretty sure natasha hasn’t either. oh well.”

you caught up to her, sighing. “come on, emily. you need to start treating her better, because if you don’t, someone else will.”

she stopped, turning to look at you, still the amused smirk on her face. “didn’t realise you were so protective over her. if you wanted her so bad, just take her off my hands then, jeez.”

it had been a joke, but the way emily had regarded natasha as something more of a possession, an object, than an entire person who was perhaps the best thing that can happen to a person like her, had you seething in rage as you went home later that day. 

–

“your girlfriend’s an absent asshole.”

“come on, she’s not that bad.”

“but she is.” you sat up then, readjusting natasha’s head position on your lap, looking over her. she had been crying, mascara lines down her cheeks and dried tear stains on her face. 

emily had stood her up for the third consecutive date after their six-month anniversary, on top of the shitty grocery store box of chocolates she had given to the woman. 

you had picked her up from the restaurant she was supposed to be at for her date earlier, when natasha called you in the middle of a work meeting, crying that she was afraid she had been stood up stupidly, yet again. your hands had been shaking with fury as you drove to where she was. 

natasha rolled halfway to wrap her arms around your waist. “maybe i’m just expecting too much. maybe i was expecting from her…what i received from you, when we had that arrangement back then.”

there was a lump in your throat, as you answered, “you are not too much, and you shouldn’t be too much, for the people who love you, natty. and you know i want to so badly respect your relationship, you know i have been the most patient, out of all our friends, in giving emily a chance, but i cannot sit here in good conscience and tell you it is okay for her to keep treating you like she has been treating you.”

there were tears in the material of your shirt then. natasha had hidden her face in your comfort. “...i miss us. what we had, what we were, back then. can’t i just go back to that time, the last time i was happy?”

you continued running your fingers through her hair, staying silent. it was best to stay silent.

natasha then looked up at you. “don’t you miss it too?”

she saw you look away. you didn’t want to face her then, and it broke her heart. “...i do. but i don’t wish to go back there.”

“why?”

the fingers in her hair stopped their ministrations. your body stiffened. it was right at the tip of your tongue, what you wanted to say. natasha deserved to hear it from you first, at least. 

“because i broke our arrangement first.”

natasha had her hand holding your face now. you sighed into it, wondering if this was what friends did. “what do you mean?”

“i caught feelings for you, i’m sorry.”

the hand on your face was still there when you shut your eyes, choking down the sobs that had wanted to overflow. it was still there when natasha got up from her position in your lap, sitting on you then, it was still there when she brought her other hand onto your face, and pressed her lips against yours.

when you dared open your eyes again, she was still there. she hadn’t been a figment of your own imagination. and she was smiling at you, soft, unsure. 

“oh i had feelings for you too.” 

your first thought had been oh god, what a relief, which morphed into really? and then, we wasted so much time. 

“why didn’t you tell me?” she frowned. 

“i didn’t want to ruin what we have. i didn’t want to ruin the friendship.”

“i wish you hadn’t been so considerate.”

“i wish i hadn’t been either,” your gaze cast downwards, you were cruelly reminded that natasha wasn’t yours. not then, not now. she still had a girlfriend to return home to. “if i hadn’t…i probably would have the opportunity of loving you right now.”

natasha nodded in agreement. “you would have.”

then, you confessed, “is it bad to wish for you to not be with emily? you don’t know just how much it hurts me, seeing her treat you the way she does; not when i know i could treat you, and love you, so much better.”

you let out an uneasy smile as natasha laughed through her happy tears, “oh, i was planning to break up with her anyway! an absent lover, an even worse girlfriend.”

the shared smiles and laughter between the both of you awakened the butterflies that had long been dormant in your stomach again. “and after which, i’ll ask you, officially ask you, to be my girlfriend.”

“you better.” natasha said, nuzzling her face to your neck as she hugged you tightly.

–

you waited for natasha as she met up with emily one last time, and after a few tearful exchanges and goodbye hugs, the redhead was already jumping back into your car, gazing lovingly as you reached out for her hand, thumb grazing over hers while you drove away. 

it was movie night at yelena’s, and the two of you took up the last two empty seats at the far-end of her sectional sofa. you asked natasha briefly if she was feeling a little sad at the breakup, and what six months of her life with emily had been reduced to, but all she could tell you was that she felt guilty, that she had spent the past six months trying to picture someone else as you, but also thankful, that those months had been put to an end. she then draped the two of you with a blanket she stole from yelena, holding your hand underneath it. 

thor took the seat beside yours, steve took the floor, and when everyone was settled in, the movie played. 

natasha rested her head on your shoulder halfway through the movie. you guessed she didn’t really care if anyone saw it by then, perhaps everyone knew. and when her breathing slowed and the climax of the movie dwindled, you noticed she had fallen asleep, her arms now around your waist once more, cuddling into you. you readjusted the blanket to keep her warmer.

when the credits began to roll and everyone had gotten up, however, you were still frozen in place, refusing to move. at tony’s questioning look, you could only mouth “i don’t want to wake her” before you were met with eye rolls from the rest and yelena taking a photo of natasha’s drooling face. 

an hour passed and natasha still hadn’t awakened, so yelena gave in and told you the two of you could use the guest room in the house to crash for the night. you felt the need to explain to her that natasha had broken up with her girlfriend, and that you weren’t trying to take advantage of her sister, and that– 

“–i know, i know,” she cut you off, holding up a hand, “i trust you, you know my sister better than anyone else. just…take care of her, okay?”

you thanked her, and began carrying natasha up the stairs, still asleep in your arms. “and don’t let her drool on my new silk sheets, please!”

– 

you once again helped natasha remove her makeup and washed her face before bed, and when she felt the coolness of the wet washcloth on her skin, her eyes slowly opened, revealing the emerald green orbs underneath. you didn’t need to deny that the green in them always left you a little breathless any longer.

sleepily, she let out a smile, and pulled you in closer to her. “i love it when you take care of me.”

“and i would happily do it for the rest of my life.”

you snuggled in next to her when you were done, pressing a kiss to her hairline. but before you could drift off to sleep, natasha poked you in the ribs and asked, “when are you going to ask me to be your girlfriend?” 

you faked contemplating for a moment, and the poke to your ribs this time came harder. “so impatient, my love.”

“i think i’ve been very patient. i waited for you during our arrangement, waited even longer when i was with emily, i want to be with you now. i can’t stand a second longer not being yours.”

your heart could burst with just the love you had for this woman. so you held her hand, pressed it to your heart, and earnestly asked, “fine, then. natasha romanoff, would you make me the happiest woman alive, and be my girlfriend?”

she transferred your intertwined hands to her own heart. “yes, yes, yes, please.” 

the bed erupted into a fit of giggles and soft kisses as the both of you embraced each other then.

– 

natasha announced your relationship officially to the rest of the team a few days later. she claimed she hadn’t wanted to hide anymore, and that she was very lucky to have the privilege of being by your side. you supported her during her confession, holding her close and peppering her in kisses after, as the team congratulated the both of you. 

the both of you showed up together to the wedding of another friend. and this time, you slow danced with her to all the songs there were. you didn’t leave early, your body was in sync with hers the whole night, and you carried on the celebrations to the hotel room you both shared. you absolutely loved natasha romanoff, and you didn’t have to hide it anymore. you proudly told everyone you knew, you showed it to everyone who didn’t know. 

you brought natasha out on dates weekly, no matter how busy either of you were, no matter what the occasion was. some dates even included just you and her cooking in her apartment, relaxing into the night with a bottle of wine and dreamy conversations until either one of your hands travelled too far and began the initiation for making love. and when natasha suggested moving in together precisely because of those dates, you weren’t afraid, or reluctant at all. you welcomed the idea with open arms. 

the domesticity of sharing a life with natasha wasn’t boring, and the repetitiveness gave you a sense of comfort and a safe haven to come back to after long days. you would cook for her, she would clean the house, and when the both of you were tired, you would give her massages and she would wash your hair in the bath together. it was a life the both of you had dreamed of when you thought of a lovely, ideal one. 

and when there were fights, there were fights. but you were too soft-hearted for the woman you loved, and after each fight, you would crawl back into her arms and beg for her forgiveness if you were in the wrong. when she was in the wrong, you would do so regardless, with her then apologising as well for her mistakes. it was natural, and normal between the two of you. you refused to let fights simmer or last overnight, and natasha was thankful that you were so kind to her even when you were so angry. 

– 

more than a year later, the very same friend had asked you again if you had any thoughts about marriage, since you were with natasha now. 

the both of you had been looking around for an anniversary gift for natasha, and you had passed by the shop where you first bought her the necklace with the flower pendant. the very same necklace that she had never taken off ever since. 

there, lay a brand new line of engagement rings. and when you were just about to walk away and shrug and avoid his question, a particular one caught your eye. it had a jade as green as natasha’s eyes. it would fit on her finger so well. 

you looked back at him, and he was already grinning at you. he laughed, patting your back, and told you he knew you would be taking back the words you said to him that day. 

“fine, i am ready to marry her now.” 

#natasha romanoff x reader #black widow x reader #natasha romanoff #black widow #marvel cinematic universe #angst with happy ending

[sidekick-hero]

tangled with what I never said

(steddie | mature | 994 words | @steddiemas angsty sentence starters and @steddieholidaydrabbles modern au prompts)

NOW WITH A PART 2

"I don't know what you want from me!" Eddie yells, his face contorted in misery.

He doesn't want to fight. He doesn't want to feel the way he does, confused and angry and miserable. He doesn't want to lose Steve.

"I want to know what's wrong. You can talk to me, man. You know you can, right?" Steve's voice wavers at the question, his hazel eyes imploring Eddie to tell him what's wrong so Steve can fix it.

The problem is, Steve can't fix it. Not this one.

Eddie lets out a deep sigh, feeling all his anger drain out of his body, leaving behind a weariness that feels too big for his body. He's just so tired of feeling like this.

"I don't know what to say, Steve. I told you, I'm just tired, okay? Go back to Sam and enjoy your date. I'm fine."

Steve doesn't move, just looks at him with that hurt look on his face and Eddie doesn't know why, but it reignites that seemingly ever-present flame of hot anger in his stomach.

"Stop. Stop looking at me like that." He snaps and sees Steve jump at the sharpness in his voice. They've been roommates for two years now, and friends for almost as long, and Eddie can count the times they've fought on one hand.

"Like what?"

"Like I killed your puppy or something. Like I hurt you when you're the one -" Eddie snaps his mouth shut, but it's too late. Fuck his traitorous mouth that keeps running off and ruining his life.

Steve takes a step forward, then another, inching closer like he's approaching a wild, cornered animal. "When I'm the one hurting you? Is that what's going on, Eddie, have I hurt you?" His hand reaches for Eddie and Eddie wants to take it so badly. That's the problem, isn't it? He wants and wants and wants.

He wants to be happy for Steve, he really does. He wants to smile and congratulate him for finally finding someone he likes enough to take out on dates and kiss good night and hold his hand with that happy smile on his face. Someone to hold him and fuck him so good that Eddie can hear it through the wall separating their bedrooms.

But most of all, Eddie wants to be that person for Steve.

"Eddie?" Steve's voice jolts him from his thoughts as a warm hand settles on his upper arm. "What did I do? Please, tell me."

"You didn't do anything..."

"Bullshit!" Steve shouts, and Eddie swears he can hear that one word echoing through his mind. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

"Steve," he tries, but is cut off by Steve's shaking voice, a stark contrast to the tight grip on his arm.

"No, Eddie. You can't... I can't do this anymore, watching you pull away. It's like. I don't know. Like you're disappearing before my eyes. And I... fuck." He runs a frustrated hand through his hair, messing it up even more than it already was after the heavy make-out session Eddie had come home to earlier than planned. His eyes find Eddie's and Eddie's stomach drops when he sees the tears glistening in them. "I miss you, okay? I fucking miss you."

"I'm right here," Eddie whispers. There are so many things he wants to say, needs to say, but they're all stuck in his throat, slowly choking him.

Steve moves even closer so that their faces are only inches apart, his eyes never leaving Eddie's, and whispers back, "No, you're not. Not really. You're like a ghost story." Eddie can feel Steve's breath against his own lips and thinks Steve must be trembling before he realizes that no, that's him.

"Steve, please." He doesn't know what he's pleading for. Maybe to take back those stupid words he said to Steve fourteen months ago.

It was a mistake.

We were drunk and high and I didn't mean it.

We can still be friends.

Maybe he's begging Steve to take the thoughts out of his head so he doesn't have to say them.

I'm sorry.

I was scared because I didn't want to lose you.

I'm so in love with you that some days it feels like it's killing me and I want to let it.

Steve's big, warm hand cradles his face and Eddie leans into it like a flower starving for the nurturing touch of the sun. They are so close that Eddie can feel Steve's body shaking as well, and Eddie doesn't know what it means, but he wants to take Steve and hold him until it stops. Until they can both be put back together again.

"Eddie, I -"

A knock interrupts what Steve is about to say. "Babe, is everything okay?"

Eddie feels his heart crumple in his chest at the sound of Steve's boyfriend's voice.

"Yeah, just give me a second." Steve calls over his shoulder, but when he turns around, Eddie steps away from him.

"Go to your boyfriend, Steve." Eddie tells him before grabbing his jacket and walking out of his bedroom and towards the door. He doesn't know where he's going, just that he hopes they're both gone when he gets back.

He walks aimlessly through the night, replaying their fight over and over again. The way he reacted when he saw Steve and Sam making out on the couch, how Steve followed him, confronted him. Steve telling him he missed him with tears in his eyes and holding his face so gently afterwards.

Maybe it's his Hail Mary, but he has to tell Steve how he feels, if only to make him understand that it's not Steve who's the problem, but Eddie.

Letting himself into their apartment, he finds it dark and quiet as he tiptoes to his room, and he's glad for the delay.

What he isn't prepared for is the sight of Steve lying on Eddie's bed, fast asleep, clutching Eddie's favorite hoodie to his chest.

#steddie #steddie drabble #steddieholidaydrabbles #steddiemas #my writing #angst with happy ending

[kairukitsuneo]

⚠️Spoiler for Transformers: Rise of The Beasts⚠️

This is the alternative gayer comic version + post credit bonus. Please proceed with caution~♡

(Added freckles for Noah)

☆ Bonus ☆

Thank you for reading 💕💕

#transformers #tf rotb #rise of the beasts #rotb mirage #noah diaz #rotb noah #mirage x noah #mirnoah #norage #fanarts #tf fanarts #arts #doodles #my arts #kairukitsuneOart #s note drawings #angst comic #sad angst #angst with happy ending #rotb minor character Reek

[acerathia]

"You don't want me... I'm broken."

These words escape Katsuki, grating in his throat, tasting like blood, iron, smoke, and fire. And his heart thumps in his ears, these tiny explosions remind him of the life he took, of the exchange, sacrifice, a life for a life, a heart for a heart. His body won't ever truly belong to him anymore, but he learned to deal with that, to drown the pulse with explosions of his own.

That only made him trust himself less, his fingers trembling to hold your hand, too afraid of hurting you, too afraid of scaring you. He isn't anything but a bomb with a broken timer, he himself doesn't know when he's going to blow, his fuse diffusing, slipping from his fingers, catching fire due to every little thing.

So he turns away, runs from the problem for the first time in his miserable life, he can't even bring himself to take your hand in his, as much as he wants to dip his thumb between your knuckles, enjoying your skin against his worn callouses. But he never could have indulged like that, never could have just touched you like he wanted, like he desired. Because who is he going to be if he hurts you? Nothing but a liability, nothing but empty anger, only truly filled with fear, with guilt.

And he's right, he's broken. Nothing about him has been right, he's a messed up patchwork, with pieces not belonging to him, with the wrong pieces, the seams fraying, and there's nothing holding him, nothing saving him.

"So what? I'm gonna spend the rest of my life putting you back together." You shrug, taking his hands in yours, calm fingers against trembling ones, dipping between his knuckles, swiping over the delicate skin.

He can't help himself, he puts your hands against his forehead, hiding his face, appreciating the soft love on his face. The echo of the heart inside his chest accepts this prayer, quieting down, replacing the explosions inside his veins with tranquility, with snow and water.

If he can't take your hands in his, then you may have to take his, to appreciate his callouses against your soft skin. And maybe, maybe everything can be alright, maybe you can simply rework the seams holding him, fixing him, making a beautiful tapestry out of his soul.

#eh. i guess? happy ending #whatever #it wrote itself. and now i dont wanna look it over. so ignore any mistakes. thanks lol #angst with happy ending #lol #katsuki bakugou x reader #katsuki x reader #bakugo x reader #bakugou x reader #bakugou katuski x reader #bakugo katuski x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsuki x you #designing the web

[the-24-7-lawlu-library]

Can you rec me the lawlu must-read classics?

Also, thank you for creating this!! You rock!! ❤️

Hey there, thank you for your aks! We actually collected some classics already so here you go:

Into the Sea by shishiswordsman (E)

He looks around, but the Sunny and their broken off battleground are both vacant. His crewmen and the Straw Hats are far away already, probably congratulating each other for their triumph, which means… No one else saw it happen. No one else knows that Luffy’s — Luffy’s sinking. And Law can’t swim.

talk without speaking by trell (qunlat) (G)

They’ve been fighting for days, in that complicated sort of way where everyone wants to be on the same side and can’t be.

Not a Ball or a Chain by HollowIsTheWorld (T)

Trafalgar Law grew up hoping he would be one of the handful of people to never develop a soulmate mark. Now that that hasn't panned out, however, he's willing to settle for just never meeting them. Unfortunately for him, Monkey D. Luffy is a hard person to avoid.

Your Pain on My Skin by GinnyRose (T)

In a world where you share your pain with your soulmate, Law had spent many years believing his soulmate probably hated him. And he wouldn't have blamed them – Law had been sick, beaten, shot at and had gone through hell not just once, but several times from when he’d lost his family to when he lost Corazon and in the struggling years after that. But now, at 24 years old, he knew better. Not only did his soulmate hate him, they were bound and determined to pay back every scrape, bruise, and cut ten times over. When Law finally found the bastard, soulmate or not, he just might kill them himself.

Luffy's Law by JadedCoral (G)

Law thoughtlessly starts a rumour about himself, and it doesn't take long for it to boomerang right back to him in the form of a bloody-nosed Luffy.

The Twillight Phone by huliganships (T)

Ace has a shitty handwriting. Is that a 9? A 0? An 8? Who even knows. Certainly not the person that Luffy accidentally texted.

Acclimating by justira (E)

There are things that Law learns the hard way. One is that, if you involve yourself in Luffy's life, the Strawhats will involve themselves in yours. The other is that he is allowed to want, sometimes. In which Luffy is goodness, and light, and love, and the Strawhats all saw it coming.

no matter how much everything hurts by Tsume_Yuki (T)

In a universe where you can accept half the pain your soulmate is feeling, Luffy wishes he could take it all on.

Curiouser by xairylle (E)

Law wondered whether there was any sense to doing this—reading to a younger pirate stripped down to just wearing boxers straddling your equally as naked self. And expected to be turned on while doing so. [LuLaw]

and all the things that keep us here by trell (qunlat) (G)

In which there is an invitation, and Trafalgar Law gets a second chance. (Or: the one where they get married, in secret, at someone else's wedding, and make Usopp late to his.)

My Love For You Is Choking Me by ObsidionWingsofMidnight (T)

Hanahaki disease: an illness born of one-sided love that causes flowers to grow within the infected patient’s lungs. If left untreated it will suffocate the host and kill them. The growth can be removed through surgery, but it will also remove the feelings along with the flowers. It can be cured without side effects if the feelings are returned. Law wished he had died back under Doflamingo’s gun more than ever.

Dots by petiteneko (T)

It all started out as a joke. But, there was some legitimacy to it too… (Soulmate [AU] where your tattoo shows the first thing your soulmate thought when they saw you, but same universe)

What's A 'Closed' Sign Between Friends by teaandtumblr (G)

A tired, hungry surgeon drops in after hours once and Sanji doesn't have the heart to turn him away. What he doesn't expect is for his friend and this doctor to fall in love right under his nose. A 5+1 story.

heartstrings by hopipp (fancy2na) (NR)

A retelling of events had the Ope Ope no Mi given Law a little more than he bargained for. AKA: the red strings au that's probably been done already

Meat Cute by marimoes (T)

“Meat? I’m hearing you correctly? Your dog is named...Meat?” Law asks putting together everything for the first time. His mind swimming much like his dignity at the moment. The man laughs ruffling Meat’s ears, “Yeah. Meat. Because she’s red and white like a good marbled piece of meat.” “And your name?” Law asks, twisting water from his shirt. “Luffy.”

Stow Away Captains by xairylle (M)

Law sneaks into the men's quarters of the Thousand Sunny. Zoro contemplates on how to deal with it. And Luffy, well, Luffy is just Luffy.

Sating Hunger by xairylle (M)

At the end of the day, even with all the major blunders that almost cost him his life, Law decided that this alliance had been worth it. Until he fucked it up by not being able to hold himself back from kissing Monkey D. Luffy.

This Is What Personal Looks Like by JadeFlicker (G)

So Law had thought the Straw Hats had taken the battle with Kaidou as a personal vendetta for all the tears shed by Momosuke and all sorts of new Wano friends. The Hearts captain had been badly mistaken. Apparently, this was what personal looked like. (In which, Law and the Straw Hats will get angry for Luffy when he's not able to.)

Exchanging of the Hearts by KivaEmber (G)

Post-Dressrosa AU. All they did was exchange hearts, just to make the alliance 'til death did them part. It wasn't as if they were married or anything.

Falling by chenziee (M)

The timing for Law's heat couldn't have been worse; their attack on Doflamingo was just days away, and here he was, too busy fighting tooth and nail against hormones and disgust. Law would really rather jump into the sea and drown than deal with one minute of this.

-Mod Raiya

#Slow burn #Hanahaki #Soulmates AU #Fandom classics #Fluff #Angst #Angst with Happy Ending #Explicitly Lawlu #Asexual Luffy #Aromatic Law #Asexual Dom #Canon Universe #post-dressrosa #monkey d luffy #trafalgar law #lawlu #lawlu fanfic #lawluffy #lulaw #classics

[cutie4me]

Best Soukoku Fanfics That Bring Immense Nostalgia!

Someone on YouTube asked for recommendations for Soukoku fics so how could I give up such an opportunity to share some of my all time favourites?! Some of them will make you cry. Some of them will make you smile. But most importantly, the immense wave of nostalgia you’ll feel after reading some of these fics are surreal! I swear, sometimes I wish I’d forget about these fics just so I could rediscover and read them all over again! All these amazing works are on AO3 so please check them out and support the authors! I’ll continue to update this each time I find a new SKK fanfic!

“Overturn even the heavens and the earth” by sssoukoku

Chuuya uses corruption but Dazai’s too late to save him, or is he?

“My skull crown” by YunaYamiMouto

Mori is dead so Dazai has to go back to PM and take the throne as the new PM boss.

“Baby Executive” by BlowingYourMind

Chuuya gets turned into a child and goes through the life stages growing older under Dazai’s care, Dazai manages to develop empathy and a widespread of new emotions around each new stage of Chuuya. (Cross posted on Wattpad!)

“I Was Screaming Your Name Through The Radio” by ElectricSplatter

I’ve not read this yet but it’s really popular and has a lot of positive reviews from what I’ve heard. It’s a rockstar/band AU but it’s super long, probably the longest one here.

“The God and his Vessel” by Churroburrito

Arahabaki lives in Chuuya and they can interact and sometime Arahabaki can come out to talk to people. Arahabaki is surprisingly sweet and overprotective of Chuuya, quite like an older brother. (I absolutely adore Arahabaki and Chuuya’s dynamic in this fic!)

“Silly delusions” by Grinch1234

Arahabaki and Chuuya are one person and Arahabaki is a God stuck in a human’s body confused with how humanity works. He tries on many occasions to convince Dazai that he is a god to only one time in which Dazai actually believes him.

“I’ll always come for Chuuya” by anonymous

Dazai and Chuuya back in PM and Dazai tries to distance himself with Chuuya cuz of his feelings to the point Chuuya loses trust in him and thinks Dazai’s grown bored of him because of his new friend, Odasaku. (Such a shame we don’t know who the actual person one because this fic was so well written and such an emotional rollercoaster!)

“We Are Never Ever, Ever Getting Back Together (Right?)” by sabiEMr

ADA and PM do an exchange thing where Chuuya works at ADA for a while and Atsushi works at PM. Chuuya tried to get over his relationship with his ex Dazai but it’s not really ideal when you’re now stuck with your ex at his workplace.

“Unexpected” by lemoncandy751

Soukoku get paired together for a project and they hate each other… except when they start to fall for each other. Well that was unexpected!

“It takes two, to create a whole” by X_DRAMA_QUEEN_X

Roommates/College AU. Dazai’s a player and Chuuya gets stuck being his roommate and they absolutely despise each other with a burning passion. Chuuya gets a little too close to Fyodor and doesn’t know who to trust anymore. Is it Dazai playing the mind games to make Chuuya fall for him or is it Fyodor? (It’s over on Wattpad as well!)

“If we can’t run together, why did we from the start?” by amythecinnabunny

Immortal Dazai x multiple reincarnation of Chuuya. Dazai loves each of them differently and learns to find and fall for each Chuuya reincarnation again and again! (I cried too much with the angsty ending of this. Lots of character deaths).

“Inseparable” by milwritescausewhynot

Highschool AU where Chuuya and Dazai have known each other for 12 years and are practically inseparable! They love to pull pranks on each other but when a certain prank of Dazai’s is taken too far that it puts Chuuya’s life at risk they must face the consequences of being apart for each other’s safety (due to Dazai’s guilt) yet still yearning for each other.

“Pretty Little Thing” by wallows_4

Chuuya, an assassin, is assigned a job to kill the Prince of a very wealthy and successful kingdom. Chuuya walks in thinking this will be easy when no threats are present, but the next thing he knows everything is dark. When he wakes up again, he is "interrogated" by three idiots. And the stupid prince is insistent on him being his personal pet!

“Of Libraries and Liberties” by Grinch1234

Chuuya Nakahara is the escaped government experiment known as A5158 seeking refuge as the librarian of his own little library sanctuary. Osamu Dazai is the notorious boss of the Port Mafia and by some illogical miracle, they manage to cross paths.

“Still, Still, Still” by icedlightroast

Actor/popstar Dazai x Rockstar Chuuya idustrial rivals AU! After a public drunken tweet confession professing his true feelings for his rival, Chuuya has no choice but to play the ploy of fake dating his rival, Dazai, to help this mess he’s made in his career. Except Dazai is a completely incompetent asshole who Chuuya can’t help but hate himself for falling for. Besides, there’s more to Dazai that meets the eye.

“Untainted Memories” by serenathea

BEAST! Chuuya shares his memories and emotions with the original Chuuya, and Dazai has to fix the mess and pain he has created.

“I can’t dare to dream about you anymore” by kiroiimye

High school AU where Dazai and Chuuya have been best friends and next-door neighbors since childhood, never seen apart despite their differing, respective lifestyles as the genius class president and the school’s beloved soccer star. Everything is perfect, except for the fact that Chuuya’s been in love with Dazai since forever and Dazai has a girlfriend.

“Always Yours” by anonymous

Kingdom + Omegaverse AU where Dazai has been betrothed to Chuuya since they were both children—an arrangement that never particularly interested him—until their wedding night, when he sees the omega’s face for the first time. (EXPLICIT Rating for NSFW scenes but you can skip those if you wish)

“The Shepard and His Shadow” by LynyrdLionheart

Everyone knows the monster in the woods is why the village suffers a lack of resources. It's been that way for centuries. Then Dazai meets the monster, and everything he knew turns out to be a lie.

“The Life We Could've Lived” by Xena_Lemon

A very confused Dazai wakes up in a Highschool AU instead of his usual Agency dorm room. And strangely enough, Chuuya’s the only one who seems to be from his world (him and the mysterious girl who keeps watching them).

“Four Years Ago, Four Years Later” by Nightingale231

Chuuya knows before Dazai, does, really, that the younger man will run. Before anything - even before Mori and the home he has carved for himself in the Port Mafia - he will take Dazai's side where it matters. He hates the mackerel, he does; yet he wants Dazai to follow the goals that Odasaku set for him, because he… (loves him).

“Silver Claws, Silver Tongue” by CandiWolfe

In which Chuuya gets turned into a cat whilst on a mission and (unwillingly) seeks the misfortune of Dazai’s help to not only temporarily nullify the ability but to track down the bastard who dared turn him into a wretched feline. Except doing so is easier said than done. Especially when they’re from a whole new foreign organisation.

“How To Woo Your Husband in Seven Days” by moonlitsorrows

When Dazai accidentally performs a grave accident that angers his precious chibi husband and forces him out of their shared apartment and out onto the streets, he tries his hand at his backup operation of “How to Woo your husband in seven days” with seven articulate plans in hopes that it would finally convince Chuuya to invite him back home. Except each plan just seems to fail and give the redhead an even bigger blooming headache. Plan 7 was the last straw. Maybe Chuuya should finally invest in some long awaited (and deserved) divorce papers after such a hellish week of putting up with that stupid mackerel of a husband’s BS.

“Another Love” by infernaa

Dazai desperately wanted to get rid of everything dark and ugly in his life. Even if it meant leaving his love for Chuuya behind. (Slight Sigma x Dazai).

“When Will You Confess?” by Chuchu_hua

Dazai and Chuuya have been best friends since childhood. One day, Dazai gets himself a girlfriend and Chuuya feels jealous. He then realises he has feelings for his best friend, but doesn’t want to confess. One night under the stars plus the influence of wine becomes one heated make out session. The two continue to have random make out sessions, but don’t think to put a label on their relationship. One school dance is what it took for Dazai to grow a pair and finally admit his feelings out loud.

“Empire of Dirt” by arkastadt

Artist Dazai's bored and lives in a mansion, Mechanic Chuuya's the mysterious garden boy working for his family, and fate brings them together over and over again only to rip them apart. (Super angsty major character death! You have been warned! EXPLICIT Rated for NSFW).

“They said the eyes are the windows to the soul.” by Aprusalve

5+1 fic of Kyouka as she observed Soukoku and tried to guess their relationship and one time she finally decided to ask.

“catch me once, catch me twice” by seedus

Chuuya gets stuck in an ability loop where he’s basically wiped out of existence and Dazai decides to become the Demon Prodigy once more to hunt down the ability user responsible for daring to target his dog and bring him back.

“Something More Than A One Night Stand” by ShireHorses

It was supposed to be a one night stand and nothing more. The last thing Dazai expected was to catch feelings for Chuuya. Much less hurt him so badly by saying the night they spent had meant nothing. It hadn’t mattered when Dazai had said that to all the previous women he’d slept with so why did it pain him so much to see Chuuya cry and act so cold? (EXPLICIT Rated for NSFW scenes).

“build a temple in me” by oursorrows

Dazai wants to surprise his husband, Chuuya, on their one year anniversary, and he can't help falling in love all over again. (EXPLICIT Rated for NSFW scene).

“Tempus Fugit” by Imabukuhoe

Teenage Soukoku time travel to a their future are in for the shock of their life as they witness many (good) things they never expected to happen in their lives- and that they’re gay for each other but we don’t talk about that just yet. (EXPLICIT Rated for NSFW scene! Cross posted on Wattpad as well! It’s angsty midway through but with a happy ending!).

“No Longer Human” by Wolf___Spirit

When a stranger starts stealing people's abilities, the ADA and the Port Mafia team up to figure it out. However, something goes wrong and Dazai loses his ability in the process. The big problem? His ability not only nullified the abilities of others, but also his own emotions. And now, for the first time in his life, Dazai has emotions, chaotic and in turmoil. In the midst of this identity crisis, Dazai sets out to explore the world with Chuuya as his grumpy bodyguard, only to discover that he has never felt so...alive. And then they find out that if they don't find a way to give him back his ability, Dazai will die within two weeks. In a race against time, chaos ensues.

“Twisted Ties” by Cutie_4Me

Serial Killer Chuuya tries to hunt down his stalker who's been stalking him by breaking into his apartment only to be met with an unexpected and (un)pleasant surprise. (Yes- I’m shamelessly promoting my own fic)

"Backstage Pass" by the_most_unhappy

When world-famous violinist Dazai Osamu announces his early retirement, a part of him is sure he will never love music again. He’s in his twenties, but he’s already tired of everything. Meanwhile, up-and-coming frontman Nakahara Chuuya is everything Dazai is not: reckless, smug, and a rockstar. They’re total opposites. They could never fall in love, right? (Implied Sexual Content But Nothing Explicit)

"More like a crash" by Jickas

Chuuya loses his memory and Dazai decides this will be a great opportunity to mess with him. But what happens when he goes a little too far and old feelings begin to resurface?

"Everything or Nothing" by Wellthathappened (Cataclysmic_Calamity)

College AU where Chuuya finds out that the boy he drunkenly made out with the night of orientation is his new roommate. His arrogant, smug, very straight roommate. And the boys are each convinced the other is trying to ruin their life by making them go absolutely insane. But of course, things don't go as planned and they somehow ended up with the typical fuck buddies arrangement. Feelings become more complex and they both soon find that the other is hiding something, a secret that could very much rupture everything in their relationship. (EXPLICIT Rated for multiple NSFW scenes and sexual exploration).

^Based off the song 'Everything or Nothing' by Picture This.

"Lost in Translation (Found in Love)" by archerwrites

Dazai is convinced (forced) to join his friends for a year spent in Paris, and he doesn't know a word of French. Chuuya is just hoping to get through school without any strange encounters, and he doesn't know a word of Japanese. They collide (literally) and the situation devolves from there. They figure it out. Falling in love in Paris is a very romantic cliche, after all. Even if there's a language barrier between them.

#fluff #angst #anime #angst with happy ending #fanfiction #anime ships #soukoku #soukoku au #soukoku angst #soukoku fanfiction #soukoku fluff #soukoku fic #Soukoku high school AU #rockstar #bsd anime #BSD #bungo stray dogs chuuya #bungo stray dogs #chuuya nakahara #dazai x chuuya #bsd chuuya #bsd dazai #dazai osamu #bungo stray dogs dazai #bsd au #fic recommendation #bsd fanfic #fanfic rec #fanfic reccomendation #double black

[harrywavycurly]

Trouble Next Door Part 7: Note

Masterlist: Here

TW: Mentions of cheating, lying and language

Tag List: @sinczir @rach5ive @bruher @hollster88 @kellyxo1 @tiannamortis @makingmunson94 @angelina16torres-blog @tlclick73 @gretavankleep37 @melaninjhs @amira0303 @robyn-118 @idkjoequinn @jaydaaasworld @squidscottjeans @rockstarmunsons @alanamarie @dandelionnfluff @aol19 @eddiesguitarskills @vampdaisy @br66klynbaby @raven-rust @daisyridleyyyy @i-love-ptv

A/N: Everyone hold on it’s about to get dramatic and also thank you to my lovely roomie @agoddamnbeautifulidiot for writing the note for me✨

*You just need a hug and for Eddie to tell you it’s going to be okay*

#trouble next door series #eddie munson friends to lovers #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson social media au #eddie munson angst #eddie munson x best friend reader #eddie munson au #eddie munson x you fluff #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader fluff #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson series #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x fem!reader fluff #Eddie Munson angst #angst with happy ending #Eddie Munson #steve harrington and eddie munson #steve harrington angst #steve harrington x chrissy cunningham #tw cheating #tw infidelity #stranger things social media au #stranger things au #modern!eddie munson #steve Harrington #my little dungeon master baby #my little fluffy haired baby

[feralforfrank]

WHEN I PICTURE MYSELF HAPPY, I SEE YOU.

BRADLEY "ROOSTER" BRADSHAW X FEM!READER

summary rooster and reader fight, but they make up in their own way.

cw angst with a happy ending, miscommunication trope (?), NON-DESCRIPTIVE READER.

a/n THE DIALOGUE PROMPT: "When I picture myself happy, I see you."

masterlist | taglist

Your day had been shitty from the start. Bradley had left before you had a chance to wake up again but not to mention there was no note about his departure again. He usually wrote you a cute letter about where he was going and would kiss your forehead before leaving. 

That wasn't the first time it'd happened. 

You know exactly when it started. One day you woke up while he was getting ready to go to the base and waited with your eyes half-open and your body unmoving until he gave you your kiss to go back to sleep. That never happened. Bradley walked out of the door without so much as glancing at you.

It's okay. He forgot. It's no big deal—at least I'll get my note. But you never did get that note.

After that incident, the date cancellations started. "Sorry, babe, I have a few training exercises to complete, so I'll be home late. Go to the movies without me." "Ah fuck, darlin', you got me in a rough spot. The squad and I are going to the Hard Deck to celebrate Nix's successful mission. You're welcome to join!"

Something was happening with Rooster, and you desperately needed to find out what it was. Work? Maverick? Another woman? Your breath hitched at the thought, and you shook your head in annoyance. 

There were so many other things you had to worry about right now, and the thought of Bradley cheating couldn't get in your way. I trust him with my life—he'd never do anything like that.

You pushed your apartment door open and stepped inside, immediately letting go of the shredded grocery bags. Another sigh escaped your mouth as you watched the oranges and apples roll down the ground for the second time.

The first time the fruit fell out on the street was before you got to your building. The apples mostly rolled down the road for a good few seconds before you could put them back in the bag.

You had to wash them before Rooster got home, for he has a habit of eating them off the bowl without caring if they're clean or dirty.

After cleaning them, you placed the fruit in their respective bowls and moved on to the rest of your groceries. You hadn't even realised Bradley was behind you until you felt arms wrap around your waist. 

You startled, moving away from the counter and into his arms. A content sigh escaped, and you closed your eyes, relishing in how his warm chest felt on your back. The kiss on your temple that follows leaves your heart a sputtering mess. 

You groan, discontented, when he moves away, opening your eyes and turning around just in time to see him biting down on the apple.

"No, Bradley, don't eat that!" You try to stop him, but it's too late.

"Why not?" He speaks when he's swallowed. "It's delicious."

"God, no. The apples fell on the street right before I got here. I've washed them, but still, you should eat them without the peel."

"Seem fine to me." He shrugs. 

"Well, they're not," you snap. "So, let me peel it." You reach to grab it, but he pulls it higher, where you can't touch it.

"What is it with you? You know I've eaten more disgusting things and survived, so what's your problem?!" He looks at you with a mix of annoyance and confusion. 

You grit your teeth. "My problem is that you won't let me do a simple thing for you. Why do you have to act like such a baby?!"

"What?" Bradley is left breathless at your tone. 

You admit there's no reason to get this worked up over fruit, but the stress-filled day and now, Rooster not listening to you was getting too much. 

He tries again. "What's the matter, baby?"

"Nothing's the fucking matter, Bradshaw!" You're even surprised by how loud your voice is.

"Jesus Christ," Bradley mutters. "I'll be at the Hard Deck if you need anything." He grabs his keys and wallet, and before you know it, you hear his Bronco speed down the road.

God, what have you done? 

—

You take up on his invitation (was it an invitation?) to come to the Hard Deck in the late evening. Well, you couldn't have come, for it's Nix's birthday today and you loved her too much to miss it. 

Your dress is one of Rooster's favourites, and you hoped that if he noticed it, it'd make the apology you composed in your head better.

After greeting everyone, surprisingly even Hangman, you walk to Penny. You're looking around the packed bar in an attempt to find Rooster while Penny reaches down for your favourite beer.

"Thanks." You spare her a glance. 

Before you can ask her if she has seen Bradley, she points to the other side of the bar where he's laughing with a...a woman. He's talking to a woman about your age, and they're laughing. 

You feel weak. Your knees almost give out, your eyes slightly widening at what you're watching. Whatever smile you were giving Penny and your friends is gone, for your lips have turned downwards in the most saddening way possible.

He hasn't noticed you staring yet, but you can't look away. The girl is beautiful—dark hair, tall, and skinny. Her dress is much better than yours, and you can see her body shines with jewellery. 

"That's my cousin." Someone whispers in your ear. You turn to look, and it's Phoenix.

Your head snaps back to them when the cousin laughs loudly. Wetness has gathered around your eyes, and you don't know if it's because you haven't blinked in so long or because your heart is twisting painfully in your chest.

"U-Um. I'm going for some fresh air." Your voice is shaky, and you don't dare look at Nix as you speed walk out of the suffocating bar. You make your way to the last steps of its backdoor, dropping on the sand-filled wooden steps.

Unbeknown to you, Bradley had seen the way you left the bar. He looked at Phoenix, who only shook her head disappointingly as an answer and then motioned him to find her. He didn't hesitate.

—

The beer was cold in your hands, so you set it beside you. You desperately wanted to go home but felt guilty when you thought about leaving. Phoenix was one of your only non-testosterone-filled friends, and it wasn't her cousin's fault for talking to Rooster. It could've been anyone on the team.

Bradley could never cheat, the rational voice in your head kept grasping at the little hope you had left. He was just making casual conversation. Right? Right.

You failed to comprehend the footsteps behind you until the person stopped and sat next to you. The familiar cologne drifted to your nostrils, and you decided to keep your head forward, wanting to hide the unstoppable tears that ran down your cheeks.

"Hi," he tries first. "Nix told me you'd be here."

You hummed, sipping your beer. "Yeah, well, I saw you were busy again, so I decided to let you have your fun." Your voice is barely collected.

"What does that even mean?" You shrug. 

"You know, I don't understand what's with you. I asked you about it, and you yelled at me, so it has to do something with me. I can't resolve the issue if you don't tell me what's wrong, sweetheart."

Rooster's body has half turned toward yours now, trying to get a look on your face, but you hide it from him. 

"It's a silly reason." There's no way you're telling tell a naval pilot you're lonely and sad without him. He has bigger problems than this. "Sorry for yelling at you. I did want to peel the apple for you; so you don't get sick or something."

"Wh-What? That's it?" 

"Oh, um—I'm sorry for calling you a baby? You're a grown man, and I shouldn't take my anger out on you, especially when you're around only once every week."

You didn't mean for the last sentence to come out, but it did anyway, and the sarcasm was evident. 

"That's it!" Rooster exclaims. "It's because I'm always working, isn't it?" When you don't answer, he knows it's true.

"You know I do this shit for you! So we can have enough money to buy your dream house in whichever place you'd like. So you can have food and water and clothes. You knew what you were signing up for, so why are you doing this right now?!"

"Because I miss you, Bradley! I fucking miss you—there I said it!" You inhale, holding the tears back. "Of course, I don't want you to quit the job that you love so much! But I've been waiting for so long, after every mission, for you to come home, greet me, and spend time with me, but you don't!

And I don't know if I'm the problem—are you tired of me? Are you not happy with me anymore? Do you have another girl that's more exciting than me? What is it?!"

At this point, your voice is on the verge of breaking. You still haven't looked at Rooster. A tear escapes your eye, but he doesn't notice. 

"Baby..." He moves to hold you.

You push him away. 

"N-No, Rooster. Just tell me." 

His heart breaks when he hears your voice crack. His body goes rigid, and his breath hitches. Have you been crying this whole time? He reaches for you again, being more gentle this time, and you let him. He turns your head and tilts it upward to meet his eyes. 

Bradley can feel how wet your cheeks are as soon as he touches you. His stomach drops. He made you cry?

"Sweetheart, you're crying." You bite your lip to keep your breaths steady but look away, fearing you'll burst if you don't. 

"It's silly." It's almost a whisper.

"No, no, no, no, you're crying," he says your name and your eyes meet his unconsciously. 

"I made you cry."

"Well, I made you angry."

"Do you seriously believe that I'm not happy with you?" Your head faintly moves affirmatively. 

He stares in disbelief for a second, but then his face morphs into something sweeter. Both of his palms find your cheeks and lightly squeeze.

"When I picture myself happy, I see you. Not planes, not Mav, not our friends. I only see you."

"Really?" You whisper.

"Yes."

"Then why have you been so distant? Why don't you kiss me anymore? Where did your notes go?" You know you sound like a child, but you don't care.

"I-I thought they were corny. Didn't want you to get sick of me. And as for the kisses, I thought you didn't want them. You pushed me away in your sleep once, but now that I think about it, you were dead to the world—so it might've been an accident." Your chest felt lighter now.

"A-And the girl?" You couldn't help but ask.

Rooster laughed. "I told you, baby. You're the only one for me. Plus, she doesn't swing my way." He wiggles his eyebrows, and you can't help but laugh. 

"There's that beautiful laugh I haven't heard in days!" 

He lets go of your face, and it falls on his lap as you try to hide the blush creeping up your cheeks.

"I love you, Roos," you mutter, a small smile on your lips.

"I love you more, sweet girl. Next time you feel lonely, remember I'm only one call away." You nod.

Bradley's fingers travel through your hair, and you let him comb it. This is the first time in weeks that you have felt peaceful. You didn't want this moment to end.

—

[ taglist: @roosterschanelslut @maverick-wingman @amnmich @mattyskies @wildcole @gretagerwigsmuse @bespinnn @collaps3r @caldodemazapangourmet @oikawasblueearbud @rip--tide @barryswifey @fanboyluvr @spookys-girl @lonelywitchv2 @j-deimos @heywheresemily @avengersfan25 @piceous21 @sarahjoestewy-blog @n3ssm0nique @mouseymagines @xx-kate-xx13 @vaporub4ever @reading-rosa @marie1115 @dxvanadeline @plaboneruda @awesomebooklover17 @mxlsmith @mak-32 @torresbarnes @depressed-focker @kwanimations @magicstrengthandcourage @graysondanvers @danielmarie @giuliamunson @this-is-a-bad-idea @bordelhoe @melody-death @studentville-struggles @desert-fern @tw1l1ghtlvr @idkwhattodowithmylife67 @kenobiow ]

#bradley bradshaw #bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster top gun #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw fluff #bradley bradshaw angst #rooster x reader #rooster fluff #rooster angst #bradley bradshaw fic #rooster fic #miles teller #miles teller x reader #top gun #top gun: maverick #top gun fic #angst with happy ending #fluff #fluff and romance #frank's asks #frank writes

[marchsfreakshow]

It's A Sin [Jimmy Darling]

Angst. Maybe a good ending.

Dandy stole you. That's what Jimmy thinks anyway. You wanted to take a break, and you left the Freakshow for a while. In that time, Dandy wooed you. You didn't come back. Even if you did, Dandy wouldn't let you.

I'm so sorry for this, I just thought of it and thought it would be good to get back into writing for Jimmy<3

No one's perspective

⊹˚.⋆ ₊꒷ᘏᘏ︶ଓ︶꒷꒦⊹˚ᗢ₊꒷︶ଓ︶꒷

Weeks passed.

Months.

You hadn't come back.

"leave it, Jimmy. Seriously...they would've come back by now." Eve mentioned. But he couldn't. He couldn't just live his life without you to help him and live by his side. Fucking Dandy.

Jimmy sat by the ticket booth, day after day. Not eating, drinking, not even looking back once. Still with a glint of hope in his eyes that you would come back. Back into his arms, and into the Freakshow where you belonged. He held the picture of you in his hands, always. Standing with Elsa and Ma Petite, performing together, smiling the night away. But Dandy just couldn't help himself.

He couldn't stop himself from wooing you with the possibility of a warm meal and a fluffy bed every single night. Being with a man who won't be charmed by other women and was 'normal'. You defended Jimmy at first, saying how he was as normal as you or I. But the baby wasn't having it. He stomped around screaming nothing until he picked you up and threw you in the car. "You're mine now." He seethed. You spat and tugged at the car door. Locked. A shit-eating grin appeared on his face when you realised you couldn't get out.

The drive was silent and awkward. You muttered insults. Dandy ignored. But when you got to the manor, you ran. You ran as far as you could. Away from Dandy.

That's what Jimmy hoped anyway. He hoped you were running. Back towards your home. In reality, you were swooned ever so slightly. You were Dandy's now. Sleeping in a plush, big bed every night with a warm breakfast in bed in the morning. You could live like this forever. Everything you ever wanted, right at your fingertips. Where was your Jimmy in your mind? The last thought in your mind when you fall asleep at night. How he could also be happy like this, but he refuses.

Every single thing about you was missed. It was starting to feel wrong. To love you and miss you so much. Heartache, heartbroken, lost. Desperately waiting and searching for you every morning. Waking up every morning wishing you were still asleep in his arms, missing the way you kissed him so gently, and how Motherly you were with Pepper and Salty. Pepper cried when she realised you were gone. One of the kindest souls, abandoned her, more heartbreak. Jimmy felt guilty for you. He couldn't look them in the eyes anymore. The man spent hours staring at your photos, missing your pretty laugh more day after day.

"I miss them so badly..."

"I know Jimmy. I know. But there's no point sittin' and mopin' around in front of the tent all day. Come eat."

"go away Ma.."

He couldn't bear to look his mother in the eyes. He was betraying everyone, but he wanted nothing more than to see you running towards him on the road, jumping into his safe, protective arms once again, and being back home. She sighed, and just turned away, walking back into the Freakshow tent.

Time passed.

A cold October night.

No one around here, no one there.

Breaths, and slowing down footsteps. A lit-up sign in front of their eyes. 1am. No one behind them, to the right, left or in front of. No car following them quietly. Opening the curtains, they walked in. Radio silence. It felt like they had to walk on air. Everything was the way it was when they left. When they walked out of the door, and out of the freaks' lives. You heard your beloved nickname. "Schön..?" Elsa asked quietly, standing in shock. Whether it was happy or angry shock you didn't know until she rushed to you, a grip around your tired body pulling you up. "Mein gott.. schieße.." German mutters and swears.

"I never shoulda left Elsa. Darl', I'm so sorry.." you whispered into her shoulder, knowing to hold in your tears. Both of you spoke for what felt like hours, and now you were standing by the stage, waiting for Elsa to signal you.

"seriously Elsa? This has to happen now?" You missed his voice. You felt like putty already, but you silently coughed and stood up straight.

"Yes! It cannot wait any longer." Jimmy tiredly chuckled. Oh, how you could be a puddle right now, entranced by him just like you were when you were first introduced to him. Lights cut, you stepped onto the stage with shaky legs and hands, facing the wall. The sudden awareness of lights made. You take a deep, incredibly shaky breath. Jimmy recognised you instantly. He stood up, anger, confusion, and love filling his brain. And in a second, you spun on your heel. Eyes meeting eyes. Seeing the sadness in Jimmy's look made you want to fade into the wall and never address him ever again. He muttered your name as the urge to fall to your knees grew.

"Jimmy.." you muttered back, half smiling. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." You were almost cut off as Jimmy jumped to meet you on the stage, holding your hands tightly.

"Why? Why Dandy? Of all fuckin' people?"

"Because I was selfish." You looked away at the ground, feeling too guilty to ever look in his eyes again. "I was fucking selfish and lacked judgement. This is home." A hug was the last thing you expected as a response, but Jimmy held you tight, what you had craved for the last two months. He sobbed into your shoulder, and everything hit you like a freight truck. Hearing the one you loved to cry, realising how badly you fucked up. It made you burst, gripping the loose fabric on his back.

"Jimmy Darling, darling, I never shoulda left you. I'm sorry for being an asshole."

"My pretty sweetheart.." he muttered, holding your face, both your eyes and his, glassy. And a kiss. One like never before. Desperate hands around his neck, your back, weak knees, small giggles and smiles. Being held by the one who gave you the world despite everything. This felt right.

"I'm so glad Elsa woke me up." He chuckled, resting his forehead on yours.

"I'm glad I came back."

⊹˚.⋆ ₊꒷ᘏᘏ︶ଓ︶꒷꒦⊹˚ᗢ₊꒷︶ଓ︶꒷

Tagging: @taintandviolent @babygorewhore @slvt4jamesmarch

#ahs #evan peters #american horror story #jimmy darling #ahs freakshow #freakshow #jimmy darling x reader #jimmy darling x you #angst with happy ending #angst #ahs imagine #Jimmy Darling angst #evan peters x reader #evan peters x you #x reader #Spotify

[roseallisonparker]

I’m With You

I’m With You

Premise: soulmate!au, takes place in a world where when you first lay eyes on your soulmate, you see color for the first time.

Inspired by Avril Lavigne’s “I’m With You”

Pairing: Matt Murdock x gn!Reader

Word Count: 9.2K words

Warnings: a brief description of losing virginity, mentions of drinking, violence, fluff, angst with a happy ending, a tad bit canon non-compliant

Note: It’s taken me a few weeks to fully write this but please let me know what you think! I’ve never written for this fandom even though I’ve loved it for years. I hope y’all enjoy. Special thanks to my sisters, my friends, and the mutuals here on this site that constantly inspire me with their talent every day.

Taglist: @mattsgirlsworld @stilldreaming666 @hellskitchens-whore @bellaxgiornata @acharliecoxedfan​

I’m standing on a bridge,

I’m waitin’ in the dark,

I thought that you’d be here by now…

There’s nothing but the rain,

No footsteps on the ground,

I’m listening but there’s no sound…

Wandering aimlessly in the rain through the city's wet streets felt like the best way to clear your head from the overwhelming loneliness that arrived with your final few months of college. The party you were just at was raving with energy from a successful finals week, but seeing all of your friends celebrate the end of this chapter in life with their partners had begun to burn a hole deep in your once hopeful heart.

Growing up, you had always imagined you’d find your soulmate in middle school like your parents had. They had run into each other in the cafeteria on their first day and had finally seen each other, their worlds blossoming with their first glimpses of color. The telltale sign that they had met their soulmate. You would fall asleep to this story they had shared with you running over and over in your mind, ideas of that rainbow-filled time of your life coming true fueling your sweet dreams.

The first day of sixth grade was filled with so much excitement. You had dressed well, eyes bright with hope as you walked into the first class on your schedule, awaiting the moment when you would finally see the world turn from dull greys into bright hues.

Nothing happened that day. You had hoped for the next few days that you would finally meet him, that you had missed him in the cafeteria.

Days became weeks. Weeks became months. Months became years.

Isn’t anyone tryin’ to find me?

Won’t somebody come take me home?

Moving to New York was an easy choice for you. After all of high school had passed without ever finding your soulmate, you decided that living in a city with a high density of population mixed with a large tourist rate would be your next course of action. Getting accepted into Columbia University with a scholarship was the perfect catalyst for you to pack your things, stuff them into a Uhaul, and drive down the highway until you reached the bustling island of Manhattan.

You chose Journalism last minute as your major but lacked the enthusiasm for it until you realized just how many people you would meet and the endless number of stories you would hear from those with similar experiences to yours. It helped lessen the loneliness and disappointment you experienced and strengthened your optimism. Investigative work became something you were fond of as well. Discovering the truth and using your resources to find the answers you craved was a skill you ended up being quite competent at.

In an effort to increase your chances of seeing your soulmate, every day you’d made it part of your schedule to take a walk around the surrounding neighborhood in the Upper West Side, scanning over every single person’s face, yearning to see the sky transform into the blue color you were told it was. 

One day during your sophomore year, you were taking one of those walks with your classmate Diane, the both of you blabbering about mindless things, making your way to your next lecture. 

“No, but Professor Stevens has to have it out for me! I swear, it’s gonna be impossible to pass.” You complained while the setting sun felt warm on your cheeks.

“Oh, I’m gonna place bets on that.” She teased, nudging into your shoulder. “Don’t let me down, babe.” She jokingly pleaded, the both of you laughing when suddenly she looked ahead and gasped. You froze, thinking something was wrong but you followed her eyeline to see another woman staring back at her with the same awe-struck gaze.

You’d never seen it happen before. That all-too-important moment when two soulmates found each other was something you hadn’t been fated to see yet. But here it was, and wasn’t it a sight to behold. You captured every look on Diane’s face, the wonder that washed over her features as her eyes flitted over everything surrounding her. Her smile was beaming. Almost unknowingly, she slowly pattered over to her soulmate, the other woman looking at Diane like she was the only other person in this world.

It was truly a beautiful sight, and yet you couldn’t help but feel the envy crushing your spirit unlike it had before.

Your senior year of college arrived quickly considering just how much studying you felt like you’d done in the past few years. The first day of classes for your second to last semester came around and you had to add extra credit to your transcript, choosing the most far-fetched language Columbia had to offer: Punjabi.

It wasn’t your first choice, but you were already set on Spanish, French, and Italian 101 courses, so Punjabi it was. The lecture hall assigned for the class was small, and you chose a seat in the back.  A few other students were quietly filing in, and you still had a few minutes to spare, so you got around to taking out your notebooks. The door to the room opened, and a loud voice accompanied the action. A student with shoulder-length blond hair, a cross-body bag, and a big, infectious smile spoke to someone down the hall.

“Yeah, yeah, you’ll thank me later for this.” He dismissed the unseen person, their voice popping up next.

“Let me know if that girl ends up asking for your number, Fog.” The voice said. ‘Fog’ threw his hands out and shook his head.

“Shush, I’ll update you, Murdock.” ‘Fog’ loudly whispered, proceeding to close the door. He then turned around to face the room, every student including yourself staring at the mild commotion. Eyes widening slightly, he bowed his head and made his way to the seat beside yours in the back. Once he settled, you turned to him, curious.

“What girl?” You questioned in a whisper, your eyes scanning the small group of about fifteen students in front of you.

“Huh?” He squinted, confused.

“Which girl’s number are you hoping for?” You clarified, endlessly drawn toward love stories.

‘Fog’s’ gaze landed on a pretty girl seated at the front of the classroom, his eyes softening. “Her name is Charlotte,” His voice was quiet, sharing the secret with you, “She mentioned the class being on her schedule during a party. Thought she’d maybe ask to study or something…” He trailed off. Looking back up, he grinned at you. “What about you? Why’re you taking the class?” 

Foggy, whose name you properly learned shortly after your meeting, became your friend and study partner for the class after Charlotte started dating someone in her Sociology class. 

Punjabi was a complex language to learn and Foggy was sure to attend every class to make sure he didn’t miss anything. But one day, as class passed, he never showed. You shot him a quick text. U good? Missed u at class today.

You waited a few minutes, a reply popping in. Im downtown in the kitchen. Dad in hospital.

Your eyebrows furrowed in concern and you quickly typed out your response. srry. hope Dad is ok. I’ll drop off notes at dorm. Roommate in?

A minute passed, and another text appeared. Yes. tysm.

You made copies of your notes at the library and then headed to Foggy’s dorm, heading down the hallway towards his room, having never been in this particular building before. You made it to the door, and knocked quickly, calling into the room, “Hey, anyone in there?”

You heard some mixed giggling from a woman and the guy who you assumed was the roommate Foggy had spoken about. A loud bang came from inside the room followed by a few rushed footsteps, and the door quickly opened slightly, revealing said woman covered in only a button-down shirt. You felt heat rush up your face at the sight, clearly interrupting something. The beautiful woman smiled with mischief in her eyes, her panting breath puffing out of her.

“Can we help you?” She asked with her mildly accented voice, smooth and playful. You then heard a slightly familiar voice coming from deeper in the room.

“Elektra, who’s at the door?” The voice, which you assumed was coming from Foggy’s roommate, rumbled in the background. In a panic, embarrassment taking over, you quickly shoved the notes into her hands, not wanting to interrupt any more than you already had.

“These are for Foggy. Tell him I said ‘Hi’ and that I hope his dad is alright!” You squeaked out, quickly turning away and walking down the hallway and around the corner.

Matt had shuffled up to Elektra by the door, hearing your booming heartbeat and rushed footsteps heading out of the building. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he nuzzled his nose into her neck, breathing deeply. “Who was that?” 

He felt her shrug and heard her carelessly shuffling through the papers in her hands. “Looks like Punjabi…” She said offhandedly, turning into his arms, “Now… where were we?” They got lost in each other once again, the notes falling to the floor, forgotten.

It’s a damn cold night,

Trying to figure out this life,

Won’t you take me by the hand?

Take me somewhere new,

I don’t know who you are,

But I, I’m with you…

I’m with you…

You didn’t think you would ever come to this. You had spent every night walking around town, making sure your eyes met every face they could. You made the big move, you got an entry-level job at the Bulletin, a career that would help you constantly be around new people. And you had saved yourself in every way possible so that when the time came for you to finally meet and be with your soulmate, you could reassure yourself that it would be perfect. That he would have all of you.

But now you found yourself on a random guy’s couch, whiskey running through your veins, your pants on the floor, and your head spinning with the realization of what you had just done. 

You had been sitting in one of your low points, drinking your sorrows away at a dive bar around the corner. He had begun to hit on you and the sweet words coming out of his mouth sounded so lovely to your ears. His name was John. He had shared his loneliness, sensing the same coming from you. And he had asked if you wanted to head over to his place. You answered yes. One thing lead to another. He didn’t know it was your first time.

It was quick. You were both inebriated and once it was done, he had left to use the bathroom. The shame of feeling like you were cheating on your soulmate and the meaninglessness of the ordeal filled your mind quickly, and you shoved your pants back on, running out the door into the cold night. You threw up outside on the steps of the apartment, falling back and hugging your legs to your chest, crying into your knees at three in the morning.

You couldn’t live like this anymore.

Since you were a child you had been living for the idea of your soulmate. Everything from what you wore to school to your extracurriculars in high school, where you moved, which college you chose, and which major you picked.

It hurt, and it was exhausting how nothing amounted to your efforts.

One day, you decided. You were no longer going to live for your soulmate.

You would start living for yourself.

Being cuffed to a table wasn’t your idea of living for yourself.

The dim lights of the interrogation room filled you with anxiety when you wondered just how stupid it was you were even in there. You were getting close to a breakthrough in the illegal heroin distribution going on throughout the city. You finally got a name; “Steel Serpent.” You knew there had to be more beyond that, so you began investigating different leads on where production could be. It turns out, once you entered one of the empty warehouses on the pier, you gave the space a once over and found the small packet of the drug, the now familiar script on the front marking the brand you had been searching for.

Before you could even put away the evidence with your gloves to take it back to the authorities and the Bulletin, the doors to the building burst open, and two detectives with their guns drawn headed toward you quickly with handcuffs ready in their hands, reading your Miranda rights, not even saying what you were being detained for.

And that’s how you found yourself staring at your tired reflection in the mirror, refusing to say a word to Detective Blake.

On the other side of the double-sided mirror, stood two up-and-coming lawyers. Foggy was given another call from Brett Mahoney (those cigars he bought his mom were really paying off) and he recognized your name from the one class you had shared in college, and it had been quite a few years since you’d last seen each other. Matt stood to his left, speaking to the officer who had arrested you, wondering why this innocent investigative journalist was arrested for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

“Why are they being held here? On what charge did you arrest them?” Matt had asked Detective Hoffman with a bite in his tone, knowing this was the same corrupt detective who had arrested Karen just a few weeks ago. He knew something was up and that quite a few cops were dirty at this precinct, and possibly every other one in this city. 

Just before the two were to enter the room to assist you, Matt got a phone call on his other phone meant for his nightly duties. 

“Please, excuse me.” He quickly excused himself to go and pick it up, hearing Claire’s screaming in the background. The Russians had found her. “Claire?”

Her muffled yells sent an immediate chill down his spine, the devil itching to claw his way free to save her. He shut the phone in his hand, turning to his partner.

“Something’s come up,” He calmly told Foggy, “Let me know how this goes.” He left the precinct without waiting for an answer, trusting Foggy to take care of this situation. 

Little did you both know that you just had your second close call for finally meeting your soulmate. 

When Matt lost his sight, one of the first things he mourned was how he would never get to know what color looked like. His memory of the world was bleak and grey, but when his senses started to kick in and paint a picture of the city around him, the world on fire was the best he would ever get. 

One night, after the accident, Jack Murdock sat with Matt as his son stitched up his wounds from a fight.

“Matty… have I ever told you about how I met my soulmate?” Jack asked softly, knowing the answer to the question, but sensing that his son would benefit from hearing about it.

“No, Dad. You haven’t.” Matt responded, feeling around his father’s forehead for the rest of the gash he was closing up, his usual swig of whiskey soothing the shakes in his hands.

“Well, it wasn’t a huge moment like you may have heard people say it is-” Jack winced as the needle entered his skin, “But it was magical.”

Matt’s hand froze, “Magical?” He parroted, intrigued. Jack nodded.

“It was about eight, no, nine years ago, and I was fighting in the ring of course. It was an open fight, and I didn’t have anyone to back me up when I was in the corner. A break between rounds came and I looked into the crowd.” His voice softened as he reminisced, encouraging his son’s hands to keep up their work.

“Your mother was there, looking at me, and the room was overwhelming me with all of the sudden color. But the timer was ticking, and I didn’t have time. I waved her over and asked for her help. To just clean my wounds and squeeze the water into my mouth. And even though the moment came and went, we both knew…” Jack trailed off. Matt finished tying off the last stitch, the quick pain snapping the older Murdock out of it.

“I was wearing red and yellow shorts that day, turns out. I stuck with them.” He finished.

It was the only time Jack had ever spoken about his soulmate. About Matt’s mother. 

When Elektra came into his life years later that night at the gala, they both knew they weren’t each other's soulmates. She had once told him that she thought she would never have one. And Matt resonated with that. He had once thought that God had punished him. That he was cursed. That he wouldn’t know he had a soulmate until they found him. 

But being with Elektra made him feel like he could go on through life without needing one. She saw that darkness in him and leeched it out, encouraging his dependency on her for making each day more bearable than the last. And when she faced him with the opportunity to finally get revenge on the man who ended his father’s life, Matt almost took it.

But his father didn’t want him fighting, let alone killing others. His father would’ve never wanted Matt to sin on his behalf. He couldn’t do it.

Even if he was fated to be damned to live life without his soulmate, he wouldn’t give God another reason to punish him. He’d at the very least have hope in that regard.

Turns out that simple false detainment without real cause was pretty illegal, and you were let out shortly after Foggy threatened to sue the NYPD, not only for your case but for a few others he had heard about. But it seemed even after you left the building with an old’s friend’s phone number and your freedom, you weren’t gonna be left off the hook that easily.

A few nights later on your way home late from the Bulletin, threatening footsteps were closing in from behind you, making your heart rate spike, your chest tightening in preparation for what was about to come. The man behind you had followed you for a few blocks and you had purposefully walked in a circle to affirm he was after you. Once the man had caught on, he decided to strike. And you were right because not even a second later were you shoved down into an alley, and a second man appeared from behind a dumpster. 

You screamed for help, your voice already hoarse from the tense energy you held in your body. You had landed on your hands and knees, feeling the asphalt scratch bloody wounds into your skin. You tried to scramble back up to run, but the second assailant had wrenched your arm to the side, pulling you into the brick wall of the building adjacent. Your head hit the wall first, immediate stars blinding your vision (definitely a concussion) and you heard their footsteps coming closer, your leg instinctively kicking out and making contact with one of them. They grumbled in pain but you weren’t strong enough, another helpless scream coming out of you. 

“Anyone, help me!” You screeched until you felt a knife placed against your throat. You immediately stilled and your breath hitched in your throat. They were speaking in a language you didn’t understand (it could’ve been Russian?) and you sent a quick prayer to the universe, feeling yourself calm down as you slowly accepted that you were probably not gonna make it out. Just as you closed your eyes you felt the man holding you shift to the side, the metal against your neck disappearing, the sounds of punches and grunts filling the alley. Another person had joined the altercation, but for the better, because it seemed like they were saving you. You kept your eyes closed, your knees giving out, falling to the ground. 

You huddled in on yourself, feeling a panic attack coming along as you reeling from the realization that you thought you were ready to die. 

You weren’t. Not really. 

And it baffled and scared you at how easily you gave up the fight.

Lost in your thoughts, you didn’t realize the sounds of attack had stopped, the only things you could make out were the sound of your heart pounding in your ears and the sound of heaving and panting coming from someone near you. You looked up to see him, a yelp coming out of your throat.

His chin was red with blood.

Red with blood.

Red.

Red blood. Faded orange lights coming from the streetlamps by the sidewalk. A dark blue dumpster. A green flyer for a dry cleaning service on the asphalt.

“Oh my god-” You let out in awe, looking back at your soulmate. The man in black that had been wreaking havoc across Hell’s Kitchen. He was your soulmate. You finally found him. You already felt the tears of relief falling down your cheeks. You smiled up at him. “It’s you.”

But something was off. He just tilted his head, as though he was listening for something. He wasn’t excited, surprised, happy. There was nothing to show that he was also going through the incredible moment of finding his soulmate. 

“Why are the Russians after you?” He gruffed out.

Your heart fell to your chest. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go. You’ve dreamt of this moment for your whole life, awaiting that time when you could continue through your new colorful existence hand in hand with your soulmate. And he was acting like not a single thing in his world had changed. Your chest began to clench with dread. 

You stuttered out a confused answer, your tears now coming down your face for a different reason, “I-I don’t know why… Russians? I was investigating heroin leads and money laundering schemes…” Your voice was losing energy, your eyes searching the man in black for any sign that his life was changed as much as yours just was. Your chest felt like it could concave on itself with disappointment.

He just nodded, his head tilting once more, as though he was hearing something you couldn’t, and then he began to walk toward the darkness. “Take a cab home.” He gruffly said, walking away from you, and disappearing into the night.

You watched as your soulmate left you on the floor of the alley, bodies strewn on the ground beaten and bleeding. Your heart joins them there. 

He heard your screams from a few blocks away and started running on the rooftop, quickly making his way over and under any obstacle in his way. He could recognize the Russian coming out of your assailants’ mouths and could hear the knife’s sharp edge scratching against your throat. Matt leaped from above onto the first man, taking him down to the ground, but felt the second snap into action and pull him off of his partner. 

You had huddled down on the ground a few feet away, so Matt head-butted the second Russian, kicking the first in the chin. He could all of a sudden hear your heartbeat getting way too fast, and it distracted him for a moment, one of the assailants getting an uppercut in. Matt felt blood rush into his mouth, so he spat it out, blood dripping down his chin. Fueled by the pain, he made quick work of knocking the both of them out, his attention turning to you. 

He heard your breath stutter, and your heart race once again, assuming that you were looking at him. He could taste the salt from your tears and the fear in the air. You finally spoke, “Oh my god… it’s you.”

He knew the man in black was being spoken about across Hell’s Kitchen, with residents fearing his wrath. But you didn’t seem scared. He guessed you were thankful from the sound of your smile in your words. 

But he had questions he needed answered. “Why are the Russians after you?” He’d asked.

He could hear the confusion in your voice when you answered, and even though your heart was still racing, it wasn’t skipping with any lies. You truly didn’t understand why you were being targeted. He nodded and realized he wouldn’t get much out of you. Before he could ask if you were alright, he heard some more cries for help in the distance. 

“Take a cab home.” He muttered, swiftly disappearing deeper into the alley, making his way towards the violence he craved, violence that would soothe the devil that resided inside of him. He made a mental note to call the police as soon as he got the chance to report the two bodies he left there and moved on with his night.

After Ben Urich’s murder, you had officially stopped all leads you were chasing, too fearful for your life in case you were close to cracking something open. But low and behold, with the newly named Daredevil to thank, Fisk was in prison, those involved in the money laundering schemes were arrested, and the dirty cops that had plagued the NYPD were out and gone for good.

You had decided to make a quick visit to Nelson and Murdock to thank and congratulate Foggy on his win. You appreciated the new signage and made your way into the building, knocking on their labeled door twice before entering, being greeted by the sight of a blonde woman at the desk in the center of the room. She stood up and smiled at you, “Hi there, welcome.”

You smiled in response, stating your name. “I’m looking for Foggy, is he here?”

You heard quick footsteps coming from behind the office door and Foggy burst through, his arms outstretched, a wide grin on his face. “I thought I recognized your voice.” He walked up to you and you hugged him in a greeting.

“It’s so good to see you now that everything had settled down.” You said, pulling away and giving him a friendly smile.

“It’s good to see you, too.” He then gestured towards the woman who had initially greeted you, “Please meet Karen, our lovely secretary here at Nelson and Murdock.” You shared your name and shook Karen’s outstretched hand, her energy exuding kindness and beauty.

“Pleasure to meet you. Would you like some coffee?” Karen offered.

“Oh, sure! Thanks.” You gratefully responded. You reached into your bag fishing for the item you brought as you directed your question towards Foggy, “I’ve never met ‘Murdock’, by the way. Is he in?”

“Yes, he is.” You heard a new voice come from the office on the left, a man in a grey suit, red glasses, and a white cane stood in the doorway to what you presumed was his office. He made his way over to the two of you, his hand outreached. “Matt Murdock. I wanted to apologize for my absence when helping you get out of that situation a few weeks ago.”

His hand was warm in yours, his voice was deep and inviting, and his smile was downright gorgeous. You immediately felt a strange pull towards him. You played it off as common attraction, which Matt seemed to emit naturally.

“I finally get to meet you after all this time. You were Foggy’s roommate in college, right?” You remembered briefly running into his lover as you were dropping off homework and notes for Foggy when he was out for a day. Definitely not your proudest moment. 

“Yeah, we got lucky with that, didn’t we, Fog?” Matt smirked in the direction of his friend, the two of them obviously the closest of friends. During this, you finally found the piece of paper in your bag just as Karen came back out with your coffee. ���You seem like two creams, two sugars.” She said, guessing correctly. 

“Yeah, thanks.” You giggled, holding the piece of paper out to the three of them. “So, I never did pay you back for helping me out.” Foggy began to open his mouth to protest the check in your hand, but you insisted. “No, please, that was a really scary time you helped me through and you deserve the compensation for your work.” You then handed the check to Karen, who gasped when she saw the contents of it. 

Matt spoke up, “What does it say?”

Karen exclaimed, “Ten thousand dollars!” Everyone’s eyebrows rose in disbelief, and you just nodded and chuckled at their reactions. 

“I genuinely had so many savings in the bank and saw how much you guys love this city and how hard you’d work to make sure justice was served.” You’d explained, their faces still full of shock, “Not many firms can say the same.”

Foggy shook his head, “But why so much for about two hours of work?”

“Well, if it’s too much for your services, then think of me as your investor!” You took a look around, taking a quick sip from your coffee, noticing the simple state of the office space. “No offense, but maybe it could help this place feel like an actual attorney’s office?”

Josie’s was not too packed for a Friday night, and when Foggy had reached out inviting you to drinks with the rest of the firm, you accepted, hoping to drink away the loss of your soulmate. Not that anyone knew who your soulmate was. No, every time you saw Daredevil mentioned in your coworker’s piece for the week or his name splashed across the tv every other night on the news, you kept your misfortune to yourself.

It hurt. Being left there on the ground of the alley after the life-altering moment of seeing the world bloom with its bright hues. You couldn’t sleep that night and stayed up to watch the sunrise. You saw the sky blossom with purples, pinks, yellows, oranges, and blues. The sky was something you didn’t care to look at often unless it was to see if rain clouds were coming in. Now you craved the view of a crystal clear sky next to the vivid trees on the sidewalk.

With a glass of whiskey swirling in your hand, you zoned out from the different conversations at the table.  Karen was seated next to you, with Matt and Foggy opposite of you. You didn’t know how long you were silent for, pondering over just how shitty you felt when you felt a knee nudge against your leg from under the table. You looked up and caught Matt’s gaze directed towards you, his eyes hidden behind his glasses as usual. 

“Everything alright over there?” He had quietly asked, trying to not interrupt the animated conversation Foggy and Karen were having. You took a deep breath, trying to live a little more in the moment.

“Uh… yeah.” You muttered. 

“You sure? Anything on your mind you wanna talk about?” He offered. His red glasses reminded you of the blood on your soulmate’s fists. You felt a pang in your heart. 

“Maybe later.” You acquiesced. You threw back the rest of your drink and caught Matt's grimace from the corner of your eye. Your glass made a solid thud as it landed back on the table.

“Anyone wants another drink?” You asked.

You definitely needed another drink.

“And so, Matt and I walk into the conference room, most of the interns are in there already because someone’s alarm wasn’t set.” Foggy accused pointedly at his friend.

“Typical Matt Murdock.” Karen chimed in.

Matt shrugged in a ‘what can you do’ way. 

“And in the rush, all of a sudden I noticed her pink blouse. Pink! Marci was sitting there, not even looking up at me while my whole world changed. Matt was so confused why I stopped walking, he asked if we were in the wrong room, and when she heard that and looked up…” Foggy’s gaze when thinking about the memory was so fond and lovestruck.

You and Karen shared an awed gaze, reveling in Foggy’s clear emotion.

“I remember her gasp and that look in her beautiful eyes… well, the rest is history. We did have a few bumps in the road, but we eventually made it out the other end together.”

“Yeah, you did.” Matt agreed.

"Still can’t believe I got so lucky.” Foggy laughed in disbelief.

“That was a beautiful way to meet your soulmate.” You complimented. You were happy for your friend, but your voice was a little slur, the liquor you had throughout the night building armor around your heart which was useful since you were hearing someone’s normal experience when meeting their soulmate.

Karen sighed, her shoulders slumping a little in disappointment, swirling around the beer in her bottle, “You’re the only one out of all of us Fog, we’ll live through you for now.”

“He’s not the only one-“ You blurted.

You weren’t supposed to say that.

Whoops.

You felt everyone’s eyes turn towards you, their wide-eyed stares ranging from shock and excitement to confusion.

“Why haven’t you told us, what-?” Karen exclaimed.

“Oh my god, when did this happen?” Matt asked.

“And this important fact wasn’t mentioned?” Foggy complained.

“Woah, woah guys.” You shook your head, their questions hitting you quickly, but being drunk did a horrible job of keeping a lid on your information. “I didn’t tell you guys- well, I haven’t told anyone actually- because my soulmate rejected me.” You said factually, trying to not let the emotion slip in, but failing.

Your friends deflated, Karen then taking the lead. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry. You must’ve been so hurt.”

“Well, it was a few weeks ago and I’m genuinely considering the theory that maybe I wasn’t rejected.” You felt tears well up in your eyes. "Maybe something is wrong with me and I wasn’t his soulmate. Maybe I’m nobody’s soulmate.”

You felt Matt’s hand touch yours on the table, a sympathetic expression directed toward you. Karen also rubbed your arm in comfort. Your grin was sad and pitiful.

“Who is the guy? Have you tried contacting him again or something?” Foggy piped up, his genuine need to help others so clear at that moment.

You shook your head, a delirious, helpless laugh coming out of you, “I can’t contact him, it’s impossible.”

“We can help. Just give us a name and we can get to the bottom of this.” Matt encouraged you.

You felt insane with your next words. “Well, if you can contact Daredevil, let me know.”

Everyone froze again, but for some reason, the air felt incredibly tense. Matt and Karen’s comforting gestures stiffened, and Foggy’s eyes wandered quickly around the table, something akin to fear and shock in his eyes. You took the sudden silence for agreement.

“See, told you. The Devil of Hell’s Kitchen left me on the floor of an alley after he saw me.” You felt a small sob bubble up in your throat, “My life in an instant had finally changed for the better, and he didn’t even give a hint that his had changed as well.” You dropped your head into your hands, trying to shake the sadness out of you.

“I’m so sorry to bring the mood down, guys. Forget I said anything, please. I don’t wanna think about this anymore.” You pushed out of your chair with a screech and began to go to the restroom, not looking up to see their faces. “I’ll be right back.” You muttered.

Once you closed the door behind you, you felt the tears quickly coming back, the embarrassment of your story hitting you. You felt their stares and knew that Nelson, Murdock, and Page were a supportive group of people but you couldn’t tell if they believed you or not. Their reactions to your soulmate’s identity were confusing and hard to decipher, but the pain and helplessness of your situation came back in full swing once you finally let it out and told them. It felt freeing yet shameful simultaneously and the mix of emotions threw you for a whirlwind.

You quickly splashed some water from the sink onto your face, washing away the tear tracks, and rolled your shoulders back, hoping to walk out ready to end the night on a high note. Giving yourself one more look over, you walked back out to the busy bar, watching your three friends speaking very animatedly to each other, Karen and Foggy seeming like they were talking to Matt while he was just sitting there looking a little dumbfounded. Probably something that happened while you were gone.

You pulled back up to your seat, smiling at the group, “So, what did I miss?” You looked over their faces, silence filling the space once more. Matt’s face had lost a significant amount of color. “And why do you look like you’re gonna faint, Murdock?” Matt barely opened his mouth when he was interrupted.

“Oh, he’s fine. Karen and I were talking about the dreadful upcoming election…” Foggy interjected.

And the conversation about your soulmate was forgotten.

Or so you thought.

He had left them there.

He had found his soulmate and he was too distracted to even notice.

‘Well, if you can contact Daredevil, let me know.’

He was in too much of a shock when you said those words. He froze. He could barely think. And his friends didn’t know what to say either. The minute you had gotten up to head to the bathroom, they bombarded him.

“Matt, what the fuck-?” Karen started.

“How did you not know?” Foggy was baffled.

“-How could you leave them in an alley?” Karen was pissed.

“I could’ve sworn you both had met in college. How did they meet Daredevil before Matt Murdock?” Foggy’s harsh whisper-yell filled Matt with a confusing sense of shame.

“I don’t think we ever had the chance, I-” The guilt began to eat him alive. “I was following a lead on the Russians and heard two of their assailants attacking so I saved them but I couldn’t hang around.”

“Matt, they think their soulmate doesn’t want them. Hell, you now know you have one!” Karen exclaimed, trying to find a solution to this seemingly huge problem. “I don’t want to tell you what to do since it’s your identity on the line, but you should tell them.”

“Dude, she was heartbroken,” Foggy added, not quite forgetting just how messed up you looked like you felt.

“I didn’t notice in that alley…” Matt muttered in disbelief but suddenly remembered your words from that night.

‘It’s you.’

You had tried to tell him. It was quick and easily a misunderstanding, but he didn’t sense how devastated you were when he was leaving. And you of course didn’t know that Daredevil was actually blind and couldn’t see so you mistook his lack of reaction for both of the worst-case scenarios possible.

God, how could Matt ever reject you when you’re what he’s been waiting for his whole life?

He had given up hope for years, settled for less, and pushed relationships away through self-sabotage because nothing ever felt quite right. It was really just his luck that he’d met you in the way he did, in a way that would mess up everything.

You returned to the group, your heart beating steadily in your chest, and in an overwhelming realization, the sound became the most important thing to him. Your voice was a treasure, and your scent was cherished, your presence was all-consuming. In an instant, it was like all of his senses were attuned to you, and Matt didn’t know what to do about it but run.

Quickly finding his voice, he interrupted, “I’m gonna head home for the night guys.” Gathering his coat and briefcase in his arms, he then turned to you.

“I’ll see you again next week?” He carefully questioned. He heard your heart skip at the question, pleased that it seemed something about you was tuned to him as well.

“Yeah… for sure, yeah.” You nodded, your breath hitching when you realized he was speaking to you specifically. You wished you could see his eyes from behind his glasses because something was telling you that his gaze was deeper than it had been. Or maybe it was the alcohol.

He grinned with tight lips and took a breath to say something, but stopped himself, shaking his head and going for a simple, “Good night.” Matt walked out of the bar, leaving you echoing the sentiment as you wondered why Foggy and Karen were giving you strange looks and why Matt had suddenly left you craving more of him than ever before.

‘Next week’ came two nights later in the form of a visitor you weren’t expecting.

Even with the streets of Hell’s Kitchen feeling safer than they did before, your hand was in your bag, keeping firm contact around your taser. You made it around the corner of your block, the flickering street lamps unsettling you, when a clang from above frightened you.

Quickly looking up, you saw a shadowed figure on the fire escape above, your stomach dropping to the floor, fear flooding your system. A scream began to bubble out of your throat when the figure leaped from the platform, but it was quickly paused when you caught sight of the short horns, the deep maroon of the suit recognizable. You flinched and took a few steps back, startled by the sight of your soulmate and confused why he was there in front of you.

“What do you want?” Your words were cold and questioning, the weeks of pent-up pain and betrayal fueling the anger behind your question. Daredevil flinched at the sound, his voice gruff as he spoke.

“Can we talk somewhere private?” He requested. Your eyebrows furrowed in curiosity, and your anger almost made you refuse him immediately. But you couldn’t deny the need to hear what he had to say, to understand why he didn’t want you even if the answers hurt you.

“My apartment is a few buildings down. You’re welcome to come up, but I don’t think there’s a way my neighbors won’t see you.” You offered nervously, wringing your hands together after a sudden bout of anxiety. Daredevil gently nodded.

“They won’t see me.” He responded softly, moving into the alley nearby.

“But it’s this way-” You gestured to your right, confused.

“I’ll be there.” He assured, slipping into the darkness.

You stood there for a few moments, dumbfounded, but made your way to your building, trying to tame the anticipation building in your heart. Once you locked your apartment door, you set your bag down and walked further into the living space, waiting for the sign of your soulmate’s arrival. 

A few knocks on the window to your left made you jump, the figure on the fire escape giving a small wave. You walked over, unlocking and opening the window. 

“So that’s what you meant, huh?” You teased as you backed away, and the absurdity of the moment made you laugh with a hint of shock, especially when you took in the sight of The Devil of Hell’s Kitchen standing next to your couch. He chuckled as he closed the window, the sound pleasing to your ears. But you sobered up very quickly, clearing your throat and settling on the couch, taking the initiative, “What do you want to say?”

He took a deep breath, his body language a little shy, and nodded, “Well, I’d like to explain myself… and tell you how sorry I am for what I must’ve put you through-”

“Why?” You interrupted.

He stood bewildered “Why am I sorry-?” 

“No, why did you leave me there?” You stood, the built-up frustration flowing out, “Did you not want me? Are you already with someone else?” Your voice quivered a bit, tears beginning to well up in your eyes.

He whispered your name and shook his head, taking a few steps closer.

“Why did you act like nothing happened, like it wasn’t the best moment of your life-?” 

“I didn’t know!” He exclaimed, his hands reaching out helplessly.

You froze. “What?” 

“I didn’t know… I couldn’t have.” He explained as he stepped closer, and you couldn’t help but let him.

“What are you talking about?” You asked, confused as ever.

“I… I’m…” He stuttered as he struggled with his next decision.

“You’re what?” You implored, not quite expecting what came next.

He ripped his mask off, and suddenly you were staring into Matt Murdock’s eyes for the first time, his gaze landing around your shoulder. His breathing was heavy and yours felt stuck in your throat.

“Oh.” You muttered, your knees feeling a little weak at the onslaught of information that you just absorbed. You took your seat on the couch once more, not trusting your legs to hold you up. 

Matt stood still as his eyes begged for understanding, “Please tell me you’ve realized why I didn’t treat you like you deserved.” He spoke quietly, slowly walking to where you sat, kneeling on the floor by you, “If I had known, I would’ve gotten down on my knees and thanked God for your existence…”

The tears in your eyes overflowed at the sight of your soulmate in front of you. He gently rested his hands on the sides of your knees and reverently placed his lips against them, next reaching for your trembling hands to hold them in his own.

“I would’ve kissed your hands, and asked for your name…” He continued, and you noticed the shine in his eyes, your hand squeezing his in return, as his gaze pleaded for mercy, “I’m so sorry, sweetheart.” He whimpered guiltily.

“Matt…” You whispered as your palm laid on his stubbled cheek, “I understand.” It all made sense now, and you felt the anger and hurt slowly leave your soul. You comfortingly kissed his temple and rested your foreheads together, a small smile gracing your face. “I forgive you.”

His lips quivered in relief, your cheek being caressed by the back of his hand. “I don’t deserve you.” He breathed out your name like a prayer, his head bowing down before he wrapped his arms around your waist, pressing his ear to your chest, the beating of your heart sounding so sweet from that close. Your hands felt for his shoulders as you embraced him, pressing another kiss to the top of his head, reaching to run your fingers through his mussed-up hair.

Matt shuddered at the feeling of your hands on his back and craved more, pulling away and leaning closer to you, his digits running over your lips, “May I?” He hoarsely whispered.

He felt you nod, your voice breathless as you pleaded, “Please.” 

And his mouth met yours, your lips curiously getting acquainted with each other. Your sharp intake of breath at the sensation of the kiss encouraged Matt to lead with all the passion he felt. You leaned further into him, taking and giving as the sensations almost overwhelmed the both of you. Nothing had ever felt this right in your life.

He slowly raised over you, adjusting both of your bodies lengthwise om the couch, your hands running over the hard planes of the suit, his lips still connected with yours, a certain heat expressed in his movements. You pulled away, panting, running your fingers over Matt’s face, admiring him.

“You’re so beautiful,” You softly spoke as your breath mingled with puffs of air, your nose nudging into his, and your eyes closed as he guided his lips over your features, worshipping every part of you. You wrapped your arms around his figure, shuddering when his hips pressed into yours, his stubble rasping against your neck. “And we should take this slow.”

He took your suggestion literally, slowing his intent kisses, pulling himself up to his hands, “Would you like to stop?” He asked with concern, his eyes still glazed with an emotion you knew you matched.

You nodded. “Yes, please.” He began to sit up, but you grabbed his hand before he could fully get off the couch, “I don’t want you to leave.”

A soft smile graced his features, the fond look directed towards you causing butterflies to erupt in your stomach. He squeezed your hand in return, “Would you like me to stay?”

“I would love for you to stay the night…” You lowered your head in mild embarrassment, “I’m not ready to let you go yet.” You admitted.

He shook his head in agreement. “Where’s your bathroom so I can get out of this?” He gestured to his suit, and you giggled as you pointed to the far end of the room.

“It’s over there.” You told him, and he began walking, awe filling your brain as you tried to wrap your head around how he did what he could. “How do you do… everything you do?” You struggled with how to explain his nightly duties.

“Well, for one, I wasn’t born blind.” He started, not closing the door or turning on the light in the bathroom as he began to strip the suit off. “I lost my sight when I was eight in an accident where chemicals spilled into my eyes. My senses became incredibly heightened and I was trained by someone like me to hone in on them and use them to fight.” He explained his past and his abilities and you tried your best to not to stare at his bare chest through the dimly lit space, his chest piece off and on the ground.

“Your senses? Like, echolocation?” You questioned as you moved into your bedroom to change into more comfortable clothes yourself.

“Well, yes, but it’s not just my hearing that’s amplified, it’s everything else as well.” Matt’s voice sounded closer to bedroom, and you froze at his words.

“Everything else?” You nervously inquired, pausing at your drawer as you looked for a shirt that could fit Matt.

“You had sushi earlier today from that shop down the street. You’ve got eggs, leftover rice, garlic, and an onion in your fridge.” He took a few steps closer to your bedroom. “I can hear your neighbors on the first floor watching Jeopardy. And your heart is pounding.” You could hear the smirk in his words, and turned around to see him clad in only black compression shorts, feeling your heart race some more.

Matt moved his way closer into the room, continuing his list of things, “I can tell your shampoo has tea tree oil and the scent of it is fresh in your hair, so I’m assuming you washed your hair either this morning or last night.”

“Last night,” You confirmed, your eyes wide at the impressiveness of the information he was providing you with, your voice stuttering nervously, “S-so you really can sense everything, huh?”

He nodded with a cocky smile, pausing a few feet away from you. God, he looks glorious, you thought.

“Does that make you nervous, sweetheart?” He teased.

“No!” You lied, feeling so nervous with your really attractive soulmate just a few steps away from you calling you such a sweet name.

“Are you sure?” He asked, closing the space in between the two of you, your change of clothes and the shirt you found for him bundled up close to your chest. “I can also sense when people aren’t telling the truth, you know.” 

You anxiously giggled, shoving the shirt into his hands, walking around him and heading towards the bathroom to change for the night, “Uh… do Foggy and Karen know about your nightly duties?” You diverted, hoping to change the subject away from you.

Matt nodded, “Yeah… they didn’t find out in the best way” You detected disappointment and regret in his tone. “They don’t want me to be out there every night.” He admitted. 

“Because you get hurt?” You assumed, walking back into the living space where he was now clad in a shirt, waiting for you.

“I did… I do,” He looked down, guilt overshadowing his next words, “And I will get hurt. This isn’t something I can just stop-”

“Matt-” You interrupted him, sensing where he was going with this, and you walked up to him, resting your hand on his arm, “Is that what you want? To stop?”

He took a deep breath in, closing his eyes and shaking his head, “No. I don’t. I can’t stop.”

“Then don’t.” You said it like it was the simplest of solutions, and Matt was shocked by your generally calm and accepting reaction to his second life, “You’ve made a difference in Hell’s Kitchen, Matt. You’ve saved me amongst countless others when the law failed to.” You explained, finally able to express your gratitude for his selfless heroics. It became clear to you at that moment just how good of a person your soulmate was. Not only did he spend his days helping people without payment, using his knowledge of the law, but he also spent his nights saving those who were tormented by the evil that worked in the darkness.

You had always known that you would love your soulmate, but Matt was genuinely someone you could love not only because of who he was, but for the kind of person he was.

How did I get so lucky?

You looked down, continuing, “I don’t want to pretend like I won’t be nervous and worry about you when you’re out there, but please don’t feel like you have to change who you are. I want to be a safe place for you to be who you have to be.”

Matt simply wrapped his arms around you in response, trying to convey his appreciation for you with his tight, secure embrace. He sighed once more, tension leaving his body slowly as you ran your hands up and down his back.

“What did I do to deserve you?” He mumbled, but you quietly shushed him and place a small kiss on his cheek, grabbing his hands to lead him to bed. Once you were both settled, he nuzzled into your neck, the front of his body pressed against yours, your legs entwined.

You were silent for a few minutes when Matt interrupted the quiet, “I’m shocked you didn’t know the Russians were after you.”

You gasped in faux offense, “Woah, I was close to the heroin production sites and the script on the packets was in Mandarin! How was I supposed to know the Russian Mafia was connected?” Matt’s huffs of laughter warmed your heart, the feeling of cuddling with someone you were meant to care about filling you with happiness.

“I dunno, maybe Daredevil has to help this journalist once in a while to help connect the dots.” He jokingly suggested, rubbing his hands up your arms, his voice gruff with the late night.

You giggled, “I’ll take all the help I can get.” You closed your eyes, feeling sleep begin to overcome you.

“What are we gonna tell people when they ask how we met?” You asked, every bone in your body relishing how calm and content you finally felt.

Matt’s breath was warm against your ear when he sleepily replied. “We have the rest of our lives to figure that out.”

fin

#Matt Murdock #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x gn!reader #gn!reader #angst #oneshot #angst with a hopeful ending #angst with happy ending #happy ending #misunderstanding #daredevil

[shu-box-puns]

Shell-Shocked

(Neteyam x Reader)

Previous Chapter <- Part 3 -> Epilogue

Summary: Eywa loves you, but not enough to save you. So good luck taking care of yourself.

Word Count: 6,934

Metkayina Reader uses they/them pronouns.

<”Someone is going to die.”>

Ronal simple statement nipped at your heels and quickened your steps. It made neteyam lighter in your arms, as adrenaline ran rampant through your bloodstream. Usually, you would have found it difficult to carry Neteyam for so long, but somehow, lying limp and injured in your arms, it was easy. As if Eywa had transformed your rage into additional strength. Your heart pounded like a thousand tsurak wings taking flight, headed straight for a dangerous but glorious battle. 

As you strode purposefully across the white sands of Awa’atlu island, Neteyam’s brother hurried to keep pace. The boy glanced periodically from your stony face, to the village that lay ahead. Its occupants beginning to prepare themselves for sleep. 

<”Stick close to me.”> You hissed quietly. 

<”They won’t let me in.”> The boy whispered, looking moments away from peeling away from your side and disappearing off into the darkness. Instinctively, your tail curled around his waist, not holding, just encouraging to keep in stride with you. You had seen his concern for his brother, had witnessed his reluctance to abandon him even after you had gotten there.

<”Hold onto me.”> You growled under your breath, <”no one will harm you.”> For Neteyam, you would fight tooth and nail for this weird boy, who looked at you with wonder and badly concealed mistrust. 

Hesitantly, he reached out and curled his ridiculously small hand around the end of your tail, his fingers squeezing slightly to still their shaking. The sensation did not bother you. As a toddler, Tsireya had tended to do the same thing to ensure she didn’t lose you whilst playing or when wandering aimlessly around the village.

At some point during the exchange, the course sands had given way to the familiar spring of the walkways as you entered the village. The boy stuck close to you as you passed the outer pods of the village. Predictably, your presence was detected rapidly, as several heads popped out of the walkways. Adults who had watched you grow from a child, appeared in the openings of their pods, and upon catching sight of you, immediately leapt into action.

<”GET THE TSAHIK!”> Someone’s father ordered, sending a flurry of boys to run full pelt down the walkways to the heart of the village.

And without you so much as having to open your mouth, the village came alive.

Hunters emerged from their pods, spears in hand, shouting orders to one another as some called for their tsuraks, whilst others followed the bloodied trail in your wake back to the island. Parents ushered their gawking children back into pods, whilst kids your age stood motionless on either side of the walkways, bug-eyed and motionless.

To think, not even an hour ago, your roles had been reversed. The mood had been amusing as Neteyam carried you out of the village for a much needed talk. Whereas now, the mood was heavy and suffocating. Neteyam lying limp in your arms with his head pressed heavily into your shoulder.

Two women approached to take Neteyam off your hands, but you found yourself holding him tighter, your lips peeling back to snarl at them. Their sympathetic looks made you feel sick. Neteyam groaned in your arms, his hand weakly clutching at you even as his strength failed him. You hushed him lightly, trying to soothe even as your own heart pounded painfully. 

The women did not try to take him again, and instead flanked you as you hurried to Ronal’s pod. One stood at your elbow, hands half raised in case you faltered, and barely spared the boy a second glance, whereas the other strode ahead to clear your path to the Tsahik’s hut.

The air was tense as you rounded the woven structure and pushed your way through the string curtains. 

Ronal was already laying down an assortment of herbs and shells beside a bed roll near the fire. Her expression faltered at your appearance, her hand half reaching out before she collapsed her fingers with a snap and allowed a professional calm to overtake her features. 

<”Set him down here.”> She instructed plainly, reaching up to steady Neteyam’s head as you knelt beside the mat and gently lowered him. You latched onto the authority in her tone, allowing it to guide your foggy mind. 

You felt numb. Or like you were holding your breath and simply drifting at the bottom of the open ocean. Any emotions you had had slipped away, leaving behind a cold fury that burned in the hollow of your chest.

Another set of hands appearing in your peripheral, weathered and large. Steady and comforting as they gently supported Neteyam’s back. Tonowari’s expression was grave as his eyes raked over the damage. 

Neteyam winced at the movement, his eyes fluttering behind their lids but not opening. It sickened you to see him so pale, his freckles barely illuminated in the dim pod. His back hit the mat, and the boy cried out, a hand flying to your forearm and holding on with painful tightness as he gritted his teeth. 

<”Tsireya!”> Ronal prompted, the rest of her instructions not reaching your ears as the pod exploded into a flurry of movement. 

The bitter bite of herbs stung your nose as Ronal gingerly lowered herself to Neteyam’s side, Tonowari supporting her arm as she tried to get comfortable around her pregnant belly. In the background, you could hear Tsireya scrambling for bandages, for ingredients and fresh water. Her tail thrashed anxiously, threatening to upend countless stacks of Ronal’s carefully organised stash.

<”What happened?”> Someone asked you, but you couldn’t pinpoint who. Neteyam was still clinging to your arm, barely hanging on. 

Someone called your name. A hand fell on your shoulder, but you were too overwhelmed to respond.

At some point, Neytiri and the rest of the Sully’s burst into the pod, only for Tonowari to intercept the kids and Jake. You heard Neytiri’s knees hit the mat beside Ronal before the teary eyed woman snapped for something to do. Anxiety rolled off of her like a miasma. 

<”What happened?!”> She yelled, with all the authority of a future Tsahik. Blarily, you blinked and glanced up.

Her eyes were wide with panic, whilst over her shoulder you could see Jake pacing and the kids greeting their demon brother. Kiri had the boy in an uncomfortably tight looking hug, her shoulders shaking with what could only be described as stomach churning sobs. The boy clung right back, his fingers digging into her back as if someone would rip him off of her at a moment's notice.

You did not know what to say or how to even begin explaining what had happened. Your throat was tight, your mind slow and sluggish. The world seemed to still be moving at its usual pace around you, but you felt stuck in time. Frozen and distant. A moment in time you were terrified of shattering. 

Your mouth opened with an audible crack of your jaw, but nothing came out. Neytiri glared back at you, looking at you as if you were something small. Something untrusted. 

<”What?”> She asked slowly, dangerously. <”Happened. To my SON!?”>

Your ears flattened at her increase in volume, but you did not cower. Not with Neteyam clinging tightly to your arm as Ronal applied salve and pressure to the wounds. 

<”They shot him.”> You finally said, your voice small and pathetic but audible. You swallowed, the world finally slowing down to your pace as you forcibly blinked the fog from your eyes. Neytiri did not demand that you specify who ‘they’ were, because you both knew who you were referring to.

<”They shot him, and I killed them.”> The words dripped off of your tongue. As fowl and forbidden as they were disturbing. You swallowed loudly, <”I killed all of them, any of them I could find.”> Their dried blood was tight and flaking around your chin, the copper still staining your tongue. 

Neytiri’s righteous rage faltered. She blinked, some of her fury subsiding as she looked at you in a new light. Probably taking in your exhausted, blood stained appearance, your own bullet wounds bleeding sluggishly. Absorbing the way Neteyam held onto you, despite her presence. Something seemed to click in her mind and she softened. 

<”All of them?”> She pressed. 

The numbness was subsiding now, leaving you feeling weak and shaky. Neteyam’s grasp on you was a grounding for you as it was no doubt for him. 

<”All of them.”> You promised. 

Tsireya broke the staring contest between you and Neytiri by handing over bandages to Ronal, who instructed you to help her move Neteyam into a sitting position. You complied, allowing Neytiri to help as you tucked Neteyam’s head into your shoulder and held his hand. Ronal shuffled closer and began meticulously covering up the bloody wound with soothing green.

The commotion of the clan beyond the pod and the Sully siblings anxious whispers were the only sounds as Ronal did the best she could. 

<”He will sleep.”> Ronal said simply after coaxing Neteyam into swallowing a sleeping draft. 

Tsireya took the statement as a dismissal and quickly exited the pod in the last direction Lo’ak’s stressed pacing had taken him.

Neytiri however, didn’t move as she sat unnervingly still. 

Ronal was gentle as she continued to speak. <”He will still be here if you look away.”> Ronal soothed with a steady hand to Neytiri’s shoulder. <”In the meantime, whilst he rests, you must check on your other children. They need you as well.”>

Neytiri looked torn but, at a soft sniffle from Tuk, managed to convince herself to pull away. On silent feet, she padded across the pod, ducked through the curtains and threw herself into her mate’s arms. Jake caught her automatically, with the arm he wasn’t using to hold Tuk, his expression grim as he simply held her. 

Ronal smiled sadly after her before pointedly turning her back to you, a silent offer of privacy.

You remained sat where you were, stuck to Neteyam’s side, simply holding him and regretting everything that had led up to this. If only you hadn’t been an idiot. If only you had fought harder against going to the island. If only you had ignored the shells or worked up the nerve to do something about them. If only you haven't told Aonung about anything. If only-

You cut the thought off and focused on carding your fingers through Neteyam’s braids. He grumbled weakly at the contact, his grasp on your forearm loosening a fraction as the sleeping draft began to take effect. 

<”You’re going to be okay.”> You promised quietly as he began to drift away. Little by little, his strength left him and he slumped deeper and deeper into your arms. <”Eywa made a mistake. The black shells were not meant for you.”> You were talking more to yourself than Neteyam at this point, but you had to speak the possibility into existence. <”Surely She would not be so cruel.”>

Neteyam did not respond as sleep finally claimed him. His grasp on you grew lax, so you gently laid him down. He looked as still as the dead, reclined on his back with blood seeping through the thick bandages, but not hardly as peaceful as someone who had already passed on. There was still fight in him, you knew. You could see it in the tense set of his jaw, the way he was still somehow clinging to that bloodied token. It’s soft pink shells, now a steaky seashell pink from his blood.

What had he been trying to tell you before everything happened? 

You squashed that thought too. It would only be cruel on yourself to entertain it.  

With a shaky breath, you backed away from Neteyam’s mat, something squirming and melancholic writhing deep in your chest. You felt your lower lip threaten to wobble, despite your best attempts to keep your expression neutral. With a wet breath, you bit your lower lip and stood. 

Across the fire, you caught sight of Aonung watching you, his expression grave. You hadn’t even noticed him slip into the pod. He looked at you with pity now, his demeanour screaming fear and vulnerability. If you had felt more stable, you might have gone over to soothe him. But right now, you knew you were one wrong look away from harming yourself or someone else, so you headed for the pod exit instead. 

The sun was beginning to emerge from behind the moon when you stepped out from the pod. Your gaze immediately went to the beach, to the hunters milling around in the white sand and ducking in and out of the trees for an enemy that was no doubt long gone. 

A short distance away, you could see the human in the embrace of a sobbing Kiri. She had swept him up in her arms so that his feet could not touch the floor, to which the boy clung back fiercely. 

Around you, the village was abuzz with organised chaos. Hunters carrying torches, combed the beaches, the island forest and the bay upon their skimwings. The fishermen sported extra weapons before venturing out of the reef for the morning catch. Even children lingered in the doorways of their homes, reluctant or unable to sleep with all the noise.

And amongst it all, you stood motionless outside the Olo’eyktan’s home, your fated potentially dying within. Regret sat bitterly on your tongue, it enhanced the stickiness of the blood on your skin, sharpened the sting of sand grinding into your thighs. Your muscles were beginning to ache harshly now, whilst your injuries smarted with every movement, and yet you felt nothing but fear for Neteyam.

>_<

A wall of shadows blocked out the morning sun some time later.

You were curled up and tucked out of sight of the main walkway, behind the Olo’eyktan’s hut, your knees drawn up to your chest and your tail curled around your feet. Mud and blood still obscured the ripple pattern of your stripes, but you couldn’t bring yourself to get into the water to clean any of it off. Irrationally, you were convinced that any time spent away from the pod, might be the last precious seconds of Neteyam’s life.

And although you were nothing to him, you still wanted to be close by. Even if all you ever would be was just friends that fell out over something dumb, even if he did not have the time to see you as more, you still wanted to be there. You wanted to be able to look back and know that you had stayed. That you had tried your best with what you had had at the time.

Tsireya stepped forward first, leaving Lo’ak and Aonung exchanging uncertain looks whilst Kiri and the human remained further away. 

<”How long have you been here?”> Your friend asked softly. She knelt before you, her expression pinched but kind. You didn’t dare meet her gaze and curled in tighter on yourself. How pathetic you must look. Couldn’t they leave you to grieve in peace? Surely they didn’t expect you to be a supportive pillar after the evening you’d barely survived through.

Aonung was the next to step uncertainly forward, but he did not speak. His movements were slow and obvious, as if he were approaching a cornered animal. With surprising gentleness, a hand fell to your shoulder and squeezed. 

It was like someone had brought down a knife hilt on a rock. Your expression split and the tears immediately began slipping down your cheeks. You felt yourself crumble, as your ears folded and you shoved your face into your knees to try and stop them from seeing.

Tsireya made a wounded noise before she was pressing into your side, her arms around you and squeezing tightly. You collapsed against her, no longer the seasoned killer, no longer a protector. Just a kid. A scared little kid that was in desperate need of some reassurance.

<”I, I tri-tried-”> you sobbed against her, fighting to keep your words steady only for your panicked sobs to fuck them up before they could leave your lips. <”I tri-ied so har-hard to, to, to pro-protec-t him-”> <”I know you did.”> Tsireya hushed you, as Aonung’s hand slid up to your head and began gently combing through your braids. Tsireya began to gently rock you. <”I know you did.”> She promised. <”I know you did everything you could.”> <”I’m-I’m so-rry-”> <”You don’t need to be sorry.”>

<”Sorry.”> You repeated anyway as your friends held you together. “<”So sorry. Sorry. Sorry-”> <”Just try and breath.”> Tsireya soothed, <”you did wonderfully. Spider is all right, and Neteyam is going to be just fine.”> You didn’t dare contradict her. Not with Lo’ak looking like he was on the verge of tears himself. But there was a very real possibility that Neteyam wouldn’t pull through. People died all the time. What made Neteyam any different from all the other hunters that were killed by those aliens?

<”Children, what are you-”> Tonowari suddenly spoke up, appearing around the corner of the hut, only for his voice to stop in its tracks when his eyes fell on you. <”Oh. Oh Y/n.”> He said softly, softly enough that you suspected he thought you would splinter apart if he spoke too loudly. <”Aonung. Tsireya. Bring them.”> 

His children obeyed easily, and you were too shattered to bother fighting it. Hands guided you to your feet, held you tenderly by the wrists and smoothed down your braids as you were guided away from the Olo’eyktan’s hut to your own just down the walkway. 

Absently, you noted that Lo’ak did not follow. Although his eyes tracked the three of you, his feet remained rooted in place beside the Olo’eyktan’s hut. Standing guard in your stead, you decided. It eased something in you to know that he would remain whilst you were shepherded away. 

Numbness dulled your senses as you were guided down onto a mat. Tsireya’s hands fell away from your body as the clinking of jars sounded from the shelves you kept your salves on. Across from you, Tonowari lowered himself down onto his knees with a grave expression, whereas Aonung hovered at your back, still standing with his hand ghosting against your shoulder, as if expecting you to topple over at a moment’s notice.

You were tired, you realised. Drained and more exhausted than you had ever felt following a training session. And boy, what a training session that adrenaline filled adventure had been. If you weren’t confident in your reflexes before, you were now fully assured that you could hold your own in a fight - given the right incentive.

With care, Tsireya deposited her findings down beside her father, before kneeling beside him in the typical position she would take up when assisting Ronal with her duties. 

<”I am capable of patching myself up, you know.”> You croaked, wincing at how tight your throat sounded. The statement sounded weak, even to your own ears. 

Tonowari nodded in that infuriatingly neutral way of his that both validated and debunked your claim. <”Perhaps.”> He agreed half-heartedly, taking the water filled sponge that Tsireya passed him with a thankful nod of his head, <”but I would feel better if you allowed us to help you.”> <”Do you even remember how to bandage a wound, Olo’eyktan?”> You challenged before you could stop yourself, startling a small smile onto his face.

<”It’s Tonowari to you.”> Tonowari repeated for the hundredth time, he paused in the conversation to shuffle closer, carefully taking your chin in one hand whilst the other began wiping away the blood stains clinging to your chin. <”And with children like you,”> he continued, <”I have never fallen out of practice.”>

As if summoned by the rustle of leaf bandages, Ronal chose then to slip into the hut. Her eyes cut rapidly across the scene before her, a nod of approval following her quick assessment as she stepped in further. <”I see you have begun without me.”> 

<”You were busy, my Pearl.”> Tonowari returned easily, focusing now on taking your hands in his and getting at the blood drying between your fingers and under your nails. 

His mate clicked her tongue, but offered no further comment as she took a slow circle around your back; assessing the damage. <”There are exit wounds.”> She noted aloud, eyes raking over the peppering of bullet holes shot into your legs and torso, <”but due to Eywa’s design they have already begun to clot.”> 

Something in you eased at her soft reassurance. Thank the Great Mother for her foresight. Without the thick layer of fat tucked beneath your thick skin, usually intended to insulate you against the freezing temperatures of the deep sea, there was no doubt you would also be in the Olo’eyktan’s hut clinging to life.

The healing session that followed was comforting and familiar. Tonowari finished cleaning off the worst of the blood and mud before beginning to patch you up with Tsireya’s assistance, whilst Ronal rested her swollen feet by reclining back on your hammock, offering pointers if Tsireya forgot a step. Meanwhile, Aonung continued to hover, a ball of anxiety, watching intently as your wounds were treated and covered by layer after layer of soothing green leaves. 

<”And you’re all set.”> Tonowari narrated with a proud smile as he secured the last bandage. <”Now, I recommend a full night of rest and plenty of food, and with any luck you’ll be back to being a nuisance in three short weeks.”> With a roll of your eyes and a huff, you staggered to your feet, much to Tonowari’s annoyance. <”Yep, sounds nice.”> You said dismissively, having already decided you didn’t have time for ‘three short weeks’. 

<”Um.”> Tonowari joked good naturedly as you hobbled past. <”What did I just tell you?”> He made no move to stop you. <”I’m going to rest.”> You assured him, <”I’m just going to do it out here.”> <”Y/n.”> Tsireya whined softly, sounding close to tears. <”Your body is tired. It needs rest.”> <”I’ll rest once he’s awake.”>

<”Don’t be so stupid.”> Aonung jumped in, his hand once again taking hold of your elbow. With a growl, you shrugged him off. The younger boy flashed his fangs in response, but refused to back down. <”You’re no use to anyone if you drop dead from exhaustion.”> <”I’ll literally be sitting-”>

<”Y/n.”> Ronal cut in, her tone enough for your current sentence to die on your tongue.

<”Tsahik?”> <”In your vision, who held the black shell?”> Her tone was uncomfortably calm, a start contrast to the tense way she held herself. Slowly, you turned back to her, finding the calculated gaze of the Tsahik fixed on you.

<”Neteyam.”> You said with a swallow.

She hummed thoughtfully. <”Perhaps, but earlier, the new Sully boy told me he saw Neteyam pluck the black shell from your hair. Is that true?”> Expression scrunched in confusion, you nodded. Ronal sat up with too much speed for someone as pregnant as her. <”You stupid child! You did not tell me you were the one in possession of the shell in your vision.”>

<”I never actually held it. Neteyam was giving it to me.”> The explanation did little to calm her. 

<”How could you leave out something so crucial? It was meant for you. This was supposed to be YOUR dying day, not Neteyam’s!”> She was on her feet now, looking moments away from panic. Your throat went dry again. <”Well shit.”> You breathed before glancing out of the pod towards the sky. <”Well, eclipse isn’t long over. There’s still time.”> Aonung’s expression twisted as he lightly pushed at your shoulder. <”Do not joke about that!”>

<”Sorry, sorry.”> You waved him off before continuing out of the hut. 

This time, none of them tried to stop you. Ronal’s muffled voice began speaking as you turned the corner, Tonowari was quick to jump in. You blocked them out, unwilling to hear anything else. You’d survived. Neteyam would hopefully pull through. What else was there to discuss?

Stiffly, you hobbled back to the Olo’eyktan’s hut, as the sun slipped fully out from behind the moon, bathing the village in the full force of its light. As you passed the hut, you peered in through the beaded curtain to find Neteyam laid out on his rug, pale and bandaged, his jewellery removed and Neytiri softly combing back his braids. In the weak light, you could make out his laboured breathing, could see the sweat beading on his brow.

Alive; for now. You reassured yourself, before stepping away. 

>_<

As eclipse stole all light from the sky, you prayed that the glow of Neteyam’s freckles would not extinguish with the end of the day.

You hadn’t moved in hours. Your muscles were stiff from disuse and your bandages in need of changing. But no one asked you to move. 

It wasn’t until the bioluminescence had turned on, that Tonowari found you again. This time, he did not try to coax you away from the hut, and instead sat down beside you. He leant back on his hands, head tipped back to look at the stars as you sat together in companionable silence.

It was quiet enough that between the rhythmic laps of the waves, you could hear hushed voices from within the Olo’eyktan’s hut if you really strained your ears.

<”I can’t sleep yet.”> You said, before he could tell you to rest.

Tonowari laughed softly. <”I was not deluding myself into believing I could convince you.”> He admitted lightly, <”although, it is getting chilly. Would you not feel more comfortable sitting inside, where you can see him? Keep an eye on him.”>

Wordlessly, you shook your head.

Tonowari did not push, his arm slid around your shoulder and gently pulled you into him, allowing some of his warmth to transfer into your cold limbs. <”I understand this is hard for you.”> He soothed, <”but you are handling it remarkably well.”> The gentle praise was almost enough to reduce you to tears again. <”There is no comfort I can offer you, for a pain this deep and personal.”> <”I don’t need comfort.”> You stubbornly denied, hating the way your voice threatened to shake. <”I just need him to wake up.”>

>_<

Neteyam woke up around noon the next day. 

You were passed out against Tonowari’s shoulder after spending a restless night watching the water, when Lo’ak came charging out of the Olo’eyktan’s hut yelling, <”HE’S AWAKE! GUYS HE’S AWAKE!”> 

In a scramble of limbs, the other Sully kids - who had also been lingering outside the hut since the end of eclipse - tripped over themselves to get through the doorway. Energised by their eagerness, you followed suit. 

Chuckling lightly to himself, Tonowari helped you up, pushing at your lower back when your knees faltered in the doorway. <”Go on.”> He encouraged lightly, pushing again until you finally stepped out of the sunlight and into the low light of his home.

Neteyam was still laid out on a mat, expression pinched as Neytiri kissed his forehead and stroked his braids. <”Mother, I’m fine.”> He kept insisting, unable to keep the laugh out of his voice. She refused to relent. 

<”Never, scare me like that again!”> Neytiri threatened between kisses, pulling back to hold her son’s head in her hands, her gaze piercing. 

<”I won’t.”> Her eldest promised, and judging by the narrowing of her eyes, she didn’t believe him. She relented regardless, allowing Jake to crowd in close, alongside the rest of the family. 

There were lots of tears. With little Tuk crowding in close for a cuddle, whereas Lo’ak tearfully offered jabs about Neteyam being more careful next time. His brother rolled his eyes, calling Lo’ak a skxawg, which just made Lo’ak’s watery grin grow. Kiri watched from the sidelines, her hand in Neteyam’s but otherwise offering no words. After checking his son over, Jake rocked back on his knees, content to hold Neytiri. 

<”Wait, where’s Spider?”> Neteyam asked suddenly, to which the boy from before was quick to shuffle forward. Amongst so many blue bodies, he had almost melted entirely into the background during the reunion.

<”I’m glad you’re okay.”> Spider offered with a tight smile. 

<”Yeah, me too.”> Neteyam sighed, before another thought struck him. <”Your mask-”> <”We’ve switched it out.”> Jake jumped in, quick to soothe the sudden anxiety out of Neteyam’s tense body. <”Bob and I took it far away and dropped it in a current. With any luck, the rest of those fuckers are merrily sailing the archipelago.”> <”That is good.”> Neteyam offered.

<”It will give you a chance to heal up, and for us to move on.”> Your breath caught painfully in your throat at the same time as several other na’vi in the room. Neteyam and Lo’ak both looked panicked, whereas Kiri looked appalled at having to uproot her life again. Tuk was still cuddled into Neteyam’s side, oblivious to what her father had just implied.

<”Dad,”> Lo’ak spoke up, <“you can’t be serious.”>

<”It isn’t safe for us to stay here.”> Jake pressed. <”We’re putting this clan at risk if we remain. Best to slip away now before more recoms come.”>

<”But we have lives here.”> Lo’ak pressed. <”We have friends.”> He glanced at Tsireya who looked moments away from breaking down in tears. Her ears were lowering as realisation dawned. Lo’ak’s tail began whipping to and fro as he turned back to his parents. <”And you’re just expecting us to uproot all that again.”> <”Lo’ak-”> Neytiri tried to sooth, but the boy was already on his feet.

<”No. I’m tired of running.”> Lo’ak snapped, and he looked it. They all did. <”They’re never going to stop. Quaritch isn’t going to leave us alone just because we disappeared again. We need to fight back. We need-”>

<”Lo’ak!”> Jake repeated more firmly, cutting his son off mid rant. There was no anger in him this time, no spare energy left to scold him for speaking out of turn. <”As your father, I need to keep you safe. All of you. And I’m sorry, but this is the only way.”> Jake continued, his voice stern and as unmoving as a cliff face. <”As soon as Neteyam is strong enough to mount his ikran and stay on it, we’re going. And that is final.”>

Lo’ak glared right back at him, his tail raised high in silent challenge. But he didn’t bite back this time. Instead, he squeezed Neteyam’s shoulder in far well before turning on his heel and storming from the hut, Tsireya falling into step beside him.

Jake sighed tiredly, deflating a bit. His expression was pinched as he looked from the entrance of the pod, to his remaining children. You could practically see the decision weighing down on his shoulders, how the guilt had sapped his energy as much as his anxiety had. 

<”Rest, Jake-Sully.”> Tonowari suddenly spoke up, making himself known for the first time. Amidst all the commotion, he had slipped into the background just like you, a silent observer to the scene. <”You too Neytiri, today has been stressful.”> <”But-”> Neytiri began only for Tonowari to put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

<”Do not worry, Y/n and myself will be around should Neteyam require anything.”> Uncertain, Neytiri glanced from the Olo’eyktan to you. Your eyes met, to which you nodded once. Neytiri must have seen something she trusted in the gesture, because she relented. 

<”Thank you, Olo’eyktan.”>

With that, he coaxed the pair outside, leaving Neteyam with Tuk still cuddled under his arm and Spider and Kiri fussing over him. You watched them for a moment, your heart suddenly aching with the slowly dawning realisation that this sight now had a time limit. For however long it took Neteyam to heal, there would be an imposing countdown in the background, ticking closer and closer to their departure. 

You swallowed with a dry click of your throat. To think, a day or so ago, you’d almost figured it out. There might have been a chance at salvaging your relationship with Neteyam, but now? Was there even a point?

<”Um, Y/n?”> Kiri said aloud, startling you out of your thoughts. <”Oh good, I thought you’d fallen asleep with your eyes open or something.”> Despite yourself, a small smile tugged at the corner of your lips. 

Pulling yourself off of the wall, you shifted further into the room, feeling out of place in an environment you often frequented. <”Do you need me to get you anything?”> You asked carefully, eyes finally meeting Neteyam’s and finding him looking back. The expression he wore startled you into silence.

There was pain there, hidden deep in those golden depths. But also a relief. A pride. Strangely, you saw no fear, despite everything he’d watched you do. Despite how he’d watch you tear apart na’vi twice your size and enjoy it.

<”Get over here.”> Neteyam ordered, wincing as he waved you closer. You hesitated, glancing from his bandaged injury to his pleading look. 

<”I don’t want to hurt you.”> <”Don’t care. I want to hold you. Now, get down here.”> <”Why?”> You asked stupidly, hyper aware of the other three glancing between the two of you uncertainly. 

Neteyam frowned, looking at you now as if you were being stupid on purpose. <”Because you scared me half to death tackling trained soldiers, got shot several times, and then carried me across half a beach like I weighed nothing. The least I can do, is give you a hug in thanks.”>

At Neteyam’s nonchalant confession, Kiri glanced at you with newfound respect clear in her expression. 

You ignored her, <”you don’t need to thank me for that.”> You said truthfully, to which Neteyam nodded. And deep down, you knew he understood what you meant. That he knew you would have played far dirtier, would have fought harder if it would have saved him. 

<”Maybe not.”> He agreed, <”but I would like to.”> Again, he extended his arm, inviting you to fall into it. With every heartbeat that passed, you were finding it harder and harder to resist. Your expression must have crumbled, because Kiri finally lost her patience and gave you a firm shove. Once you were moving, you couldn’t stop. With your own bandaged wounds pulling from the sudden movement, you dropped down on your knees at Neteyam’s side, before carefully enveloping him in a tight hug. The arm not cuddling Tuk curled tightly around your shoulders, pressing you impossibly tight to him. He was a warm, solid weight within your arms, and that in itself was more reassuring than periodic glances through the gap in the curtains. 

Neteyam’s arm was a steady pressure across your back, firm and comforting, even more so when his hand shifted to gently cup the back of your neck, applying lovely pressure. For the first time since the guns had gone off, you found yourself breathing easier. 

<”There you go.”> Neteyam coaxed softly as you melted further into his side, most of your body lying beside him on the mat instead of on top. 

Someone chuckled quietly, before getting elbowed. <”The hell was that for Kiri!”> Spider whisper shouted, earning himself another hard knock.

<”Do not ruin this.”> Kiri whispered back, barely quieter than her brother. <”You have no <i>idea</i> how painful the last few weeks have been because of these two.”>

<”I just thought the purring was a cute touch!”> Spider hissed back, to which you abruptly realised you had in fact begun to purr now that you were finally in Neteyam’s arms. Strangely, it was a struggle to muffle it with how relaxed your body had become.

<”Look what you did!”> Kiri growled.

<”You know we can hear you,”> Neteyam cut in smoothly, <”right?”> 

Neither of them replied. 

Neteyam continued to periodically squeeze you, applying alternating pressures until you calmed, falling limp and compliant again. Perhaps later you would regret acting so openly affectionate, but for now, held securely in your fated’s arms, you couldn’t care less.

Surprisingly, it was Kiri who cracked first. <”Well, whilst you two are doing, um, that I’m going to go and speak with Dad.”> There was some rustling, which you assumed was her getting up. <”I’m going to try and talk him out of moving.”> Neteyam grimaced. <”Good luck with that. He seemed pretty set.”> She chuckled dryly. <”Well, we’ve all got to try. You just stall getting better to get me enough time to work on him.”> The way she said it implied that Jake was vulnerable to her charm. <”Tuk, I need your puppy eyes.”> <”Aye aye captain.”> Tuk grinned, giving Neteyam one last parting squeeze before hopping up. In her absence, Neteyam wound his other arm around your back, letting out a soft sigh. 

<”Do you think they’ll manage it?”> Spider asked as the two ducked out of the Olo’eyktan’s hut. 

<”We can only hope.”> Neteyam said sadly, <”best keep an eye on them.”> 

Taking the hint, Spider hid a little knowing smile before getting up and following. 

It was quiet in the hut without the three of them, almost peaceful with the rhythmic lul of the waves and the distant chatter of the clan all around. 

<”Thank you.”> Neteyam repeated again, a soft purr starting up in the back of his throat. <”You don’t need to thank me-”> <”No, listen. Please?”> He insisted, tail thumping lightly against the mat. You went still, giving him a large enough opening to say his piece. He took it. <”You didn’t have to protect Spider, he was my responsibility, but you did. You protected both of us, even though you were mad at me, and you didn’t have any reason to put yourself in that kind of danger on my behalf. So thank you, you’re incredible.”>

Something large and uncomfortable blocked your airways as the full force of his words hit you. How there was nothing but gratitude in his tone. A soft sort of awe that left you reeling. <”Thank you for waking up.”> You said stupidly, for lack of anything better to offer. <”Now we’re even.”> <”Almost.”> Neteyam agreed, his arms slackening slightly. <”Could you pass me my jewellery please? The whole bundle?”> He lifted one of his hands off your back to motion to the pile in question. 

Nose scrunched in confusion you complied. With care, you scooted off of him to retrieve the bundle and offer it to him. Neteyam took it out of your hands with a soft hum, his fingers carefully carding through the pieces until he unearthed the token from before. 

The soft pink of the shells looked gorgeous in this light, despite the flecks of blood that had dirtied them. Neteyam made a face at the sight of the mess, to which you wordlessly retrieved a bowl of water from beside the rest of Ronal’s healing supplies. 

<”Thank you.”> He said again as if he hadn’t already thanked you at least three times in the last few minutes. With care, he took a moment to lightly dip the necklace into the water, before gently rubbing the blood out of the woven knots. The angle was a bit hard on his shoulder, but he worked well enough with one hand.

<”What I was trying to say before,”> Neteyam said, <”before everything went sideways, was that I want to be more than friends. I want to get to know you with the intention of fulfilling what these shells suggest.”>

<”I see.”>

<”And,”> Neteyam continued, <”that if you hadn’t overheard Lo’ak and gotten the wrong idea, that I would have gladly accepted your courting gift if you had presented it to me.”> <”You would?”> 

<”Of course I would have.”> He promised, glancing away from his task to smile warmly at you. 

It was only because you had already been looking at him that you’d noticed a shell caught in one of his braids, previously obscured by his head. Thankfully, this one was not black, or grey, it was not blue or green. It wasn’t even white.

It was small. Clearly a suggestion by the Great Mother. There was hardly any pigment to it, and in the wrong light, you would have certainly mistaken it for white. You didn’t need Ronal to tell you to know that it represented new love, or at least some form of blossoming adoration. It was no longer a sign for the fated, but a symbol of what Eywa predicted would one day come to pass. 

The thought unclenched something in you, allowing you to return to the present quickly enough to accept Neteyam’s courting gift as he handed it to you. <”Thank you.”> You offered, carefully lifting the gorgeously woven piece to your neck and securing it in place. 

Neteyam smiled. <”It looks good on you.”>

Taglist: @rainbowsocks @kylobensgirl @queer-griffin @emphatic-af

#Neteyam x Reader #neteyam lives #neteyam sully #Angst with happy ending #part 3 of 3 #I lie still got the epilogue #injury #tonnes of bloody shells #too many fucking shells at this point #Also up on Ao3 #avatar twow #avatar the way of water #metkayina reader

[knockyasocksoff2022]

Everyone, please read this.

It's about Chuuya getting Hanauso, the Hanahaki variant in which flowers grow out of your neck when your beloved one is lying to you.

SUMMARY:

Dazai loves Chuuya.

Chuuya loves him.

There’s something square about that statement that soothes Dazai’s raging anxiety.

When they married, it was in spite of their organizations. In spite of his fragile mental health, in spite of Chuuya’s dangerous life. They are soulmates, and their loyalty to each other comes first.

Now that Chuuya might die with a necklace of Loving Memory roses blooming from his neck, choking him with every passing day, they are willing to sacrifice everything to choose each other again.

[Or: Married Soukoku loving each other above all else.]

More info under the cut.

Rating:

Mature

Archive Warning:

Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Category:

M/M

Fandom:

文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs

Relationship:

Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs)

Characters:

Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs)

Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs)

Armed Detective Agency Ensemble (Bungou Stray Dogs)

Language: English

Words:11,518

Chapters:1/1

#bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #soukoku #dazai osamu #nakahara chuuya #ao3 fanfic #ao3 fic #fic rec #hanauso #hanahaki #hanahaki disease #angst #skk angst #soukoku angst #bungou stray dogs angst #angst with happy ending

[pollyna]

Prompt: the things you said over the phone while here was morning. It's always morning when you call.

Or five times Mav calls and Ice pick ups and, for some reason is always morning where Ice is, + one time it's morning for both of them and Ice doesn't need to pick up the phone because Mav is right in front of him.

#random prompts #so i won't lose them #icemav #angst with happy ending #note: #things you said when i picked up the phone: i'm seeing someone bradly likes her #things i would have said when you called: i never missed my home until i met you #things i said after the things you said: that's great i can't wait to meet her

[creative-caramel-coffee]

Hiii, can you do something where the reader causes trouble and is always irritating to Weems, but when y/n gets sick, Larissa becomes caring and gentle to the reader, and since y/n has a fever, she says she never causes trouble on purpose and that he apologizes for everything.

English is not my first language, sorry for any mistakes.

Ms Sniffles

Pairings: Weems x Thornhill x Reader (platonic)

Word count: 2.6K

Summary: You’re an alleged troublemaker who had been on Weems nerves all week, but now you're sick and Weems is feeling guilty.

TW: mentions of vomit (no actual tho), flu symptoms, angst (w happy ending tho), anxiety, embarrassment, lectures, mentions of childhood trauma (implied), crying (lots of crying)

A/n Kinda angsty at the start but very fluffy and cute at the end.

You hadn’t meant to. You were just passing by one of your classmates' desks when you knocked the small pot of ink into their lap.

It was an awkward situation, and it was times like that, that you hated your nervous habits.

You had felt the anxiety spike and of course that meant you started laughing.

The teacher of course had assumed that meant you had done it on purpose and now you were stood outside the principal's office for the second time that day.

The first was for a similar reason, you had been going back to your seat and had knocked one of Ms Thornhill’s plants off the bench in botany class and again you had laughed feeling guilty and embarrassed.

She had been so mad she had sent you to Ms Weems’ office.

So here you were again getting lectured by the principal, she was fuming. But as you were yelled at you retreated more and more inwards.

You hadn’t dare explain yourself, not wanting to be called a liar.

You held back tears as you sat ramrod straight in a chair as she paced in front of the fire.

“Ms L/n I am severely disappointed. After out chat this morning i had hoped for your behaviour to have fixed itself. You have been in my office for your acts of rebellion and disobedience time and time again. If you cannot find it in yourself to fix your behaviour, we may have to decide whether or not nevermore is the correct school for you.” She said.

It felt like you had been stabbed in the heart. You loved nevermore. It was your home. You were accepted here and could finally be yourself.

Ms Weems had stopped talking now and was simply looking at you.

“If you have nothing to say for yourself you may return to your dorm. I don’t want to hear another peep from anyone that you have been acting out again or you will have detention for the next week. You are dismissed.” She said with an air of finality.

You stood face blank as you had trained it to be after countless similar situations at home.

You exited the lavish office and slowly walked back to your dorm.

Tears began to fall down your face as her words played on repeat in your head. She was disappointed in you. The tears fell faster as you walked, and you scrubbed at them with your balled fists.

You didn’t even notice as Ms Thornhill passed you in the hall on the way to your dorm, she frowned in concern seeing you cry but you were gone before she had a chance to stop you.

She felt slightly guilty knowing you were stressed and feeling bad for sending you to the principal earlier today.

Getting to your dorm you flopped down on your bed not bothering to change from your uniform. Curling into a tight ball you sobbed.

The strong school lights had been hurting your eyes all day, you had a killer headache and your muscles aches like they did when you were coming down with something which had resulted in you being even more clumsy than usual hence all of today's accidents.

You sobbed until the tears stopped coming and you drifted off the sleep.

It was nearly midday and Larissa was yet to hear anything about you from her teaching staff. To be honest she was actually growing concerned.

She hadn’t meant to be so harsh towards you yesterday, but she has spent the previous hour before she met with you, debating logistics with the head of the board on the phone, so her nerves were thin, ragged and raw when it had come time to deal with you.

She had heard from Marilyn you had seemed to take it hard after she reported seeing you crying in the hallways.

Larissa felt guilty for taking out her anger on a student and even more so when she realised you hadn’t attended classes all day.

Worried you had retreated into yourself and worried she had no reports from any of her teachers of unruly behaviour from you she had checked attendance records to find you hadn’t been present in classes all day.

Feeling equal parts guilty, worried and annoyed at your continued disobedience she stood from her desk. Deciding she would go under the guise of a welfare check she exited her office with keys in hand.

Standing outside your dorm she hesitated and knocked three times, frowning when there was no response. Waiting for a beat, she knocked again and sighed.

“Y/n if you don’t open the door i will have to use my key.” She said and was met again with no response.

She huffed and slid the key into the door and twisted, listening for the pop of the mechanism.

Gently she removed the key and pushed open the door. She was having doubts you were even in there as all the lights were off.

Slowly she came into the room spotting the lump in the bed. You were rolling around and thrashing slightly, tangled in the sheets still in yesterday's uniform.

Larissa knew it was yesterdays as it still had splotches of ink on it from the disaster in literature that had landed you in her office the day before.

Turning on the light she let out a small gasp at the sight of you. Three things happened all at once.

The first your eyes snapped open, tired and bleary with deep bags under them as tears gathered on your waterline thinking you were in trouble for skipping.

The second Larissa’s guilt increased tenfold.

The third the headmistress studied your face. The pink flush of fever in your abnormally pale skin. You honestly were on par with Wednesday's ghostly pallor. Your eyes were tied and bagged. Your hair and uniform crinkled and messed up. Your bottom lip quivering. Your forehead and baby hairs damp with sweat.

“Oh dear.” Weems said at the sight of you.

She should have known something was amiss yesterday in her office, but she had assumed you were flushed from the heat of the fire in her office not the beginnings of a fever.

She quickly crosses the door floor to sit on the end of your bed. Pulling out her phone she shot off a quick message to her favourite botany teacher to bring her some supplies before slipping it back into her pocket.

You had watched her with the tears in your eyes thickening and threatening to spill down your rosy cheeks.

“Oh, my sweet girl what’s wrong hmmm?” Larissa asked softly and sweetly like a mother may talk to a crying toddler.

That was all it took for the floodgates to open. Your tears fell and small sobs bubbled up in your chest. You cried and threw yourself into Larissas lap.

She was surprised at your boldness but crossed it out as the possible fever you may well have, talking.

She wrapped her arms around you tightly to ground you and you tucked your head under her chin and into her neck.

Rubbing circles on your back she rocked you and her sideways back and forth to calm you down. You were babbling incomprehensibly into her neck as she shushed you softly.

Once you were slightly more aware of what was going on you tried to explain the last few days and how you never meant to cause trouble.

As she listened the principals heart broke for you feeling so much more guilty all at once, she had never even given you a chance to explain before herself and her staff had assumed the worst.

She paused her thoughts as she realised how warm you felt against her neck.

“Darling, you feel quite hot, do you have a fever?” She asked her voice hinting her concern.

“Don’t know. Sorry.” You mumbled and sniffled softly, holding her tighter.

“Shh shh its ok I’ll take care of you, my sweetheart. It’ll all be ok.” She cooed.

Larissa was still rubbing your back with your legs straddling her lap with your face buried into her neck when someone knocked on the door.

You let out a small whimper and Larissa shushed you tenderly.

“Hush darling its simply Marilyn.”

“I’ll be back in a second my sweet.” She said trying to set you down, but you cried out and clung to her sounding your protests in the form of small wails.

“Ok ok.” She said and stood hoisting you up with her she her arms was under your thigh as she held you to her front while you straddled her waist above the hips your face still in her neck crying quietly at the idea of being put down.

Larissa moved over to the door and opened it. Ms Thornhill stood there, doing a double take at the sight of her most troublesome student clinging to the elegant, ever-formal and proper headmistress like a koala and crying into her neck.

Leaving the door open Larissa went back to your bed and sat down.

“Well, come in and shut the door.” The principal instructed and Marilyn complied and came over to sit next to her on your bed.

Breaking out of her stupor Ms Thornhill laughed.

She patted your back and said “well, I think your broke our principal sweet girl.” She joked and you let out a small huff and buried deeper into the principal's chest.

Larissa patted your back softly for comfort and glared at the teacher who put her hands up in surrender at the death-inducing look from the headmistress.

“Shh shh shh its ok sweetheart” Larissa cooed bouncing you slightly, before turning to look at the botanist to explain, “I think she may have a fever it’s messing with her head a bit.”

Marilyn nodded sobering quickly, “good thing I brought just about half the infirmary with me. You need to be less vague in SOS texts Lars.” She said still very serious.

Standing she grabbed a cloth from what she brought with her and went to the bathroom, running it under the tap and wringing it out before returning and setting it down on the table.

She came over to crouch in front of Weems and tapped your shoulder.

“Darling i need to take your temperature sweetheart.” Marilyn said and you whined softly.

Larissa gently pried your blotchy face from her neck, and you whined.

“Yes, yes i know I’m so mean.” She said and Marilyn chuckled and felt your forehead with the back of her hand humming softly.

Withdrawing her hand, she turned and grabbed something from the bag and slipped the thermometer into your ear.

After a minute it beeped, and she withdrew it and frowned.

“Your right Lars, 102.3. That’s a fever alright.”

Turning back to the small bedside table she picked put the washcloth and laid it on the back of your neck seeings you had already burrowed back into the headmistress's chest.

“Have you been sick at all?” Ms Thornhill asked softly, tracing pattern on your shoulder-blades.

“No.” You mumble still not moving from your burrow.

“Do you feel like you might be?” Larissa asked.

“Do feel kinda sick.” You said sheepishly, your fingers playing with a loose thread on your sleeve.

“Alright thats ok.” Marilyn said and patted your knee.

“Im just going to put this here just incase” she said and set down a bin by the bed.

“If you feel like you need to use it just let one of us know, it's much better than throwing up on yourself darling. It doesn’t hurt to ask.” Marilyn attested.

“What else are you feeling darling?” The principal asked rubbing your back again.

“Hot. Cold. Sore. Head hurts. Throat hurts. Sniffly.” You muttered and punctuated it with a sniffle and small cough into your fist, your cheek now resting on Larissas chest, head still tucked under her chin.

“That’s quite the list isn’t it hmm.” Marilyn said turning back to the bag she brought and procuring more items to help.

You nodded wearily and closed your eyes.

“Alright well we will start with some medicine which should help with the headache and fever. Then some cough medicine for that poor throat and the sniffles. How does that sound?” The botanist asked stroking your cheek to stop you falling asleep before they were done with you.

“Good.” You mumbled eyes still shut.

“Alright. You take these.” She said and helped you drink some water and take some medicine.

You gagged at the taste of the allegedly cherry-flavoured cough mixture and Marilyn was quick to shove the bin under your face.

“No. No. Im ok.” You said pushing the bin away. “Just tastes bad.” You whined and Marilyn nodded, leaving the bin there for now.

“Alright darling.” Weems said. “How about we change you out of yesterday's clothes and into something comfier. Hmm?” She asked and you nodded sleepily fighting off a yawn.

“And then maybe a nap.” Thornhill chuckled, finally taking away the bin from your lap. Larissa nodded.

“Good idea.” She said.

The two women helped you out of your clothes as you were slow and weak from the fever and sickness that was pervasive in your body.

Leaving you sat on the bed in the headmistresses' arms in your underclothes, Marilyn was rooting around for a t-shirt and sleep shorts in your wardrobe.

Pulling out a light pink shirt with a pretty red and black moth on it she helped pull it over your head and slide your arms through.

They helped stabilise you by holding almost all your weight up, while you stepped into the black fabric shorts and then you crawled back into Larissa’s lap.

“I guess you're more comfortable than the bed huh?” Ms Thornhill joked, and Larissa glared with no heat, at her.

“At least I’m wanted.” The headmistress huffed moodily.

“I do believe it was you that texted me.” The botanist joked and Larissa rolled her eyes.

“Whatever. Can you bring me my laptop from my study, I feel as if I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.” She asked. Marilyn chuckled.

“Of course. I’ll be right back and then I have a class, but I’ll come check on your both later to see if you need anything. I’ll bring all of us lunch later as well. Soup for Ms Sniffles over here.” She said with a nod.

“You're a lifesaver.” Weems said and blew her a kiss. Thornhill glared playfully and swatted the invisible act of affection out of the air, making the headmistress gasp in mock offence.

“Look after your limpet,” Marilyn teased, rolling her eyes affectionately, “I’ll be back with your tedious and boring work in a minute.” She said, shutting the door quietly.

Larissa smiled and looked down at where your chest was steadily rising and falling against her own. Your arms tucked into your chest, hands under your chin.

“You really are quite harmless aren’t you darling.” She said stroking your hair. You made a noise in your sleep and snuggled closer to her.

“Im sorry my love.” She said and pressed a kiss to the crown on your head.

Weems would be having a meeting with her staff later that week, once you were better of course as she wasn’t planning on leaving your side until you were.

The meeting would be about the assumptions of teachers and the necessity of letting students explain themselves before they were sent to her.

She never wanted this to happen again to any of her students and least of all, you, her little snuggle-bunny.

MASTERLIST

#sicfic #Wednesday addams #enid Sinclair #weems #larissa weems #principal weems #ms Thornhill #marilyn Thornhill #student R #platonic r #comfort #sick comfort #hurt/comfort #angst #angst with happy ending #whump #fluff #flu #sickness #sick #sick r #cold #illness #nevermore reader #outcast reader #trouble maker #reader insert #female reader #fever #crying

[bradtomlovesya]

Choices 3

Three: Take Me Back To The Day We Met

Peter Parker x Reader series

Summary: Everybody forgot who Peter Parker was. All his world tunerd grey until he met you and you started dating. It could have been perfect if it wasn't for the fact that MJ comes back and, surprise! She remembers EVERYTHING.

Warnings: Pure Angst!, mentions of cheating, swearing, descriptions of sex +18, fluff!

w/c: 3k

a/n: Enjoy this chapter! As always, coments, reblogs and likes are completely appreaciated. Thank you so much for all the love and support this series is having. I will be forever grateful! Thank you for staying 'til the end ❤️. Gif not mine.

Series Masterlist

Peter felt his heart sink in his chest and could blame no one but himself.

There you were, laughing with Austin at something trivial he had said. You had only gone on one date. You told yourself that you should move on and get on with your life just as you thought Peter had gotten on with his.

But that wasn't true because Peter was standing there holding back tears and the roses he had bought you behind his back.

He had set it all up, flowers, invite you, dinner, apologies, tell you the whole truth, promise ring, hug, kiss, happy again. Everything exactly in that order and without skipping a step.

However, Peter had overlooked one small detail. You guys had broken up almost two months ago and that made you free to date someone else.

Even more so if that someone was as cute smart and kind as Austin.

Austin was the exact opposite of Peter. Tall, blond, thin, blue-eyed, bad at science but very good at history. That explained why he was studying literature. Austin loved the attention, going out to parties (though not too much drinking) and spending time with his many, many friends.

Peter... Peter was totally different from that.

Probably for that reason you had agreed to go out with him. Because he was different from Parker and you didn't want to go through the same thing. He had already made you suffer enough.

Spiderman followed you on several of your dates. 3 to be exact. He wanted to make sure Austin didn't get smart with you and that you were healthy. Although it was probably also out of pure morbid curiosity. Peter felt a thousand knives go through his heart when he saw him kiss you and yet he didn't take his eyes off you for a second.

His mind wandered and he imagined himself in Austin's place and it was then that he resigned himself. He had lost you. He had lost you through his own fault and you weren't coming back.

That day Spiderman stopped following you and you wished he had continued to do so because Austin was starting to turn a little dark.

One night, you were in your bedroom watching a movie when Austin started kissing your neck. That was fine with you. What wasn't fine was that he slipped his hand under your skirt and between your legs and you weren't ready for that.

"Austin, I'm sorry. I'm not ready for this yet" you pulled his hand away.

"Please, y/n. We've been dating for two weeks, do you want to make me wait any longer?" The blond asked and moved his hand back up between your legs.

Peter would never have done that.

"Austin, seriously. Please stop" you pushed his hand away and sat down. You were not at all comfortable right now.

"God..." he swallowed deeply and then exhaled. "Can we at least do something oral? Seeing you wear that skirt has given me a huge hard-on. I need your help."

Peter had already seen you in that skirt and had only said it matched the color of your eyes.

"I'm not going to do anything. I don't feel comfortable and I'm not going to do it" you said firmly. You feared his reaction but you weren't going to give in to something you didn't want to do.

"Then I'll have to find someone to fix what you caused?" he stood up and took your arm. "A little unfair, don't you think?"

You wanted to scream. You wanted to spit at him. You wanted to tell him you were going to finish him off but you'd seen too many documentaries on female homicide to act any better than that.

"Austin, I'm on my period and I ate tuna in the morning so if you don't want your penis bloody or smelling like a fish fry we'd better save it for another day." You looked at him and he just nodded.

It was the best you could say... you weren't very proud but at least you could get out of that room in one piece. The documentaries had taught you that you don't tell a man you're going to leave him and take the kids. You just disappear the next day without a trace.

Obviously you weren't married and you didn't have children. But you weren't going to give him any more reason to get upset in front of you and earn an aggressive action from him. If he could run his hand up your legs without your permission, he could certainly do other things and you weren't going to stick around to find out.

You broke up with him by text message and talked to some of your friends, teachers and the principal. If Austin ever went crazy and did something to you, everyone would already know it was him because you had told them.

This news reached Peter's ears. Now he knew what Austin had done to you and his blood boiled like lava in an active volcano. Parker decided to take revenge. He didn't beat him, he was too good for that, but he did make him take off all his clothes except his underwear and threw two spider webs into his hands to stick him to the campus pole. It took several hours for the web to dissolve and by then everyone had seen him apologize to you in public, because it was part of the plan. Obviously you knew this was Peter made.

Parker still cared about you. You didn't know how that made you feel...it was like something about him drew you to him and your heart always ended up going back to him.

Peter had it in mind to use this to get you to come back to him or to at least listen to what he has to say.

Parker decided to start small. He knew he couldn't just walk up and ask you out after what he had done so he took it slow.

The first thing he did was leave you a note over a pizza box outside your bedroom that said: Thursday is pizza night.

When you saw the note you couldn't help but smile slightly. Too bad he wasn't around to observe your reaction.

The next thing was to leave you a stuffed dog stuck to the window with his web. The note said "No dogs allowed on campus but I know how much you want one. It's the best I can do... For now."

Your heart went out to him. If Peter was trying to get you to forgive him...he was succeeding in a small way.

Although, it still hurt that 1. he betrayed you like that and 2. it took him so long to try to fix it. However, it was you who asked him for time and space. So you were just mad and hurt.

But you had the right to feel whatever you wanted. He lied to you. He hurt you. Your feelings and reactions are yours and yours alone. You had learned that you shouldn't keep them to yourself. In part, Peter was the one who helped you to be more open emotionally...

The last of his moves was a small box with a note taped to it that read. "Sorry, can we talk?" And inside the box was the key to his apartment.

With this Peter wanted to tell you: I'm not with MJ because I didn't give her the key.

That's exactly what you thought. But it's never good to have false expectations so you took it as calmly as possible. Under the keys was another note that read. "7 pm. My apartment. Please."

You were going to go. But you wanted it to be a last minute surprise for him. If you were nervous, Peter was six times as nervous.

His spidey senses were driving him crazy. He was pacing back and forth all over his apartment as he counted the candles (artificial because we don't want fire accidents), dinner in the oven...lasagna. The only thing he had learned to cook from his Aunt May and nobperfectly because the cheese was a little browner than it should be.

The music, his favorite songs on a playlist and some of his own choice that repeated the word "I'm sorry" a lot, the message was explicit and implicit. Peter was sorry and wanted to make amends more than anything else in the world.

Parker was about to go crazy. He even hung upside down from the ceiling trying to calm his nerves. You were 16 minutes and 37 seconds late (not that Peter was counting) but you arrived and he was more than relieved.

He opened the door and there you were. Wearing that cute skirt again. Autin had ruined it for you, yes. But nothing Peter's smile at seeing you in it couldn't fix.

"You came" he looks at you like you're not real. Like you were a product of the blood pooling in his head after hanging from the ceiling.

"I'm sorry. I'm late... Anya needed help with the hem of her dress and it was torn so it was tedious to get it fixed" you bite your lip. If your heart is going fast you know hers is going with propellant.

"It's okay" he quickly replies. "It doesn't matter" he smiles that smile you missed so much. "The important thing is that you're here now."

"I think so..." you nod slightly and bite your lip walking into his apartment.

You inhale deeply and there's that signature smell of his home. It's an indescribable scent that every home has and you missed that smell so much...

"Did you like my gifts?" he asks hoping to hear the answer.

"It was nice... I didn't think you still remembered I wanted a dog" you fold your arms. You're here to talk. But you're still hurting and you were never good at being a hypocrite pretending everything is okay when it's not.

"I pay attention to you. I have always done" walks over to the dining room table and pulls the chair over to sit you down. "I made lasagna...the cheese is a little burnt so we can order food if you don't want to eat it or I can-"

"Peter" you stop him before he talks too much and smile. "It's okay... I like the golden cheese on the lasagna." You sit down and thank him as he pulls your chair into the dining room.

"Okay..." he inhales deeply and takes the lasagna out of the oven which wasn't on but, he kept it in there so it wouldn't get cold. "Water, right?" He asks as he places your lasagna in front of you.

"That's right" you watch the water fill your glass and then him sit down across from you. "You wanted to talk?" You blurt out once you both start eating.

"Yes...I did. I wanted to apologize for everything" he sighs and looks down at his fork after taking a big bite. "What I said about MJ last time didn't-."

"You don't have to explain that to me." You interrupt him.

"Please let me finish..." he looks at you pleadingly. "I want to explain to you why my choice of words wasn't the best and made you think I had called you because MJ couldn't and that's not true." He denies. "I didn't call MJ because I didn't want to call her. I called you because you're the one I wanted around, I want around." He clarifies.

"I see..." you take a sip of water. You know how hard it is for him to express himself in a good way.

"About what happened at the fair..." he sighs heavily remembering it. He hated himself for what he had done. "I got carried away with my emotions. I regret that every day and it will never happen again. I will never put you through that again if you decide to give me a chance."

"Why did it take you so long to ask her? Couldn't you decide between me and her?" You raise an eyebrow.

"No. I chose you. It took me so long to tell you because you'd asked me for some time and.... then I saw you with that asshole Austin." Her jaw tenses. "He's a jerk. And if it wasn't for my mistake we never would have broken up and you never would have dated that monster."

"You can't blame yourself for that. It was my decision to be with him" you close your eyes for a moment. "Thanks, by the way. Friendly neighbor spiderman came to the rescue." You smile and your eyes meet his.

"I couldn't sit still" he shrugs.

"And I'm glad you didn't" you move your hand across the table and take his.

"I...I'm really sorry for everything, y/n" his voice cracks. "Absolutely for everything and I miss you and I love you and I need you. Please..."

"So... to clarify..." you pause. "You and MJ didn't get back together?"

"No," Peter denies flatly. "We never kissed again or tried to go out as anything more than friends. That kiss was a mistake. Our relationship ended then, we moved on with our lives and I found you. The only good thing that has happened to me in so long...please don't tell me I blew it."

"Peter..." you sigh "it's true that you hurt me like I never thought you would but... there's also more to this story like the fact that you guys never had closure because of the multiverse" you laugh lightly thinking about how crazy that just sounded.

"Does that mean you don't want to get back together with me?" he asks in a low tone of voice.

"No, Peter" you sigh. "I do want to get back together with you" you look him in the eye. "But if something like this happens again I promise you that will be it. No more chances, okay?"

"Wait wait wait wait" peter gets up like a bolt of lightning and runs to his room to get the promise rings. He comes back with you and opens the little box so you can see it. "They're promise rings. I'll never put you through anything like this again, I swear."

You nod with a smile and Peter places the ring on your finger.

"You don't know how happy you've made me" he helps you up from the table and takes your cheeks to kiss you. "I love you, I love you, I love you..." he repeats over and over as he leaves kisses all over your face.

"I love you too, Peter" you laugh lightly and grab him by the collar of his shirt to kiss him deeply.

It's a needy kiss, so in the blink of an eye you're already on his bed as he kisses your neck.

"We can stop if you'd rather go slow" he pauses to watch your eyes.

"Are you kidding me? Peter, I need you" you moan and kiss him again.

Peter smiles and his hand goes up the inside of your skirt. Peter looks at you and asks if you agree before his hand lands on your underwear.

That's your Peter, the man you love more than anything in the world. A man who respects you, values you and makes you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.

As his cock slips in and out of you, you try to maintain eye contact. His face of concentration mixed with pleasure as he feels your walls squeezing him just as only you know how is the most precious thing to look at.

"Is that okay?" He increases his speed a little and holds your hips.

"Harder, please," you beg. You arch your back to give him a better angle and pull on his hair.

"Fuck, princess... you're going to be the death to me" his hands intertwine with yours and he penetrates you deeper keeping up the pace. His Spider-Man skills make him last longer and tire less. Which you are infinitely grateful for.

When you both finish. Peter helps you clean yourself gently and lies down next to you extending his arm for you to lay your head on his chest. His fingers run lightly up and down your arm and his lips kiss your forehead.

"I'm sorry for being a jerk" He is the first to break the silence.

"It's okay...it's in the past" you leave a chaste kiss on his left pec and feel him bristle.

"No more secrets, no more lies, I won't ruin it again, I promise" he looks you in the eyes and takes your chin to kiss you.

"Remember the day we met?" you smile slightly at the memory.

"Of course I remember, I was going through a bad time and you made some horrible jokes that lifted my mood" he lets out a chuckle.

"That's when I knew you were the one" you laugh and caress his cheek.

"Why?" he frowns in confusion.

"Because you were the one who always laughed at the stupid things that go through my head." You scoff.

"You know when I realized you were the one?" He kisses the tip of your nose.

"When?" you ask intrigued.

"When you cooked a whole dinner to tell me you liked me and didn't run away when you found out I was Spider-Man" his eyes sparkle watching yours.

"I love you, Peter Parker" you lean in to kiss his lips.

"I love you too, Y/n Y/l/n" he kisses your lips deeply and full of love. "Forever and ever."

~~~♥︎♡♥︎~~~

Peter Parker Tags

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'Choices' Tags

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#peter parker angst #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker #peter parker au #peter parker and reader #spiderman x reader #spiderman fanfiction #spiderman #no way home #spiderman tom holland #tom holland spiderman #tom holland #fanfics #fanfic #fanfiction #angst #angst with fluff #angst with happy ending #spiderman smut #peter parker smut #tom holland smut

[imfinereallyy]

Steve Harrington isn't sure he's ever felt beautiful.

He is sure it would be a surprise to most.

However, Steve is overwhelmed with himself. And not in a good way. The constant feeling of the stretch of his skin, every lump, every scar. It's hard to breathe sometimes for Steve.

There is too much of him. Hair everywhere. Worried lips. Voice fluctuating.

Too many errors. Picked cuticles, bitten nails, and crooked noses.

Too many flaws. Loudmouth has nothing to show for it. Big money, but not enough to fix.

When Steve Harrington looks at himself, he doesn't see something he defines as beauty.

Sure he's been called many things across the board. Hot, sexy, and even the occasional handsome. That is typically reserved though for old women at Family Video and his mother's book club in 79' (a disaster of an idea considering it was mostly day drinking). And although Steve is called all these things and more, he hasn't really felt them. They are just more meaningless words he is supposed to nod his head along to. It's rude not to take a compliment, he can hear his mother's voice saying.

But Steve Harrington does not feel beautiful. He knows it's not a masculine word. He can almost hear the unspoken slur every time his father calls Steve a pretty boy, good for nothing but his looks.

(Steve doesn't think it's his father's insults that make him feel this way. He thinks that his comments might have to do more with his repressed bisexuality though. That's a talk for Robin for sure.)

Steve knows he shouldn't feel this way. Should be grateful for the compliments, the praise. It's rude, he knows. To be so ungracious. He can't just push them off, he can't argue.

He knows it isn't good, and isn't healthy to put this on other people. That he should work from the inside than out. Even so, Steve can't help but wonder if it's all his years being put inside a particular box that is the problem.

Who is he to argue with everyone else too? They always know better. The girls at school have told him what eye candy he is. His old buddies would tell him they wish they looked like him. Even the kids would mostly compliment him aesthetically. Talk about his way with women. Talk about how he's lucky he's got looks.

(He thinks he should be bothered more by the value of his looks than his intelligence, but that problem feels separate to Steve. He isn't really sure if he can explain it.)

Maybe that is the problem. People talk more about his looks than to him. Around him, through him, but not to him. Or maybe it's because Steve thinks they are just being kind, being pitiful. If Steve can't be smart, can't be creative, can't be talented all that is left is looks. People can't bullshit the other things, but they can all pretend he's a good-looking guy.

He is probably being dramatic if he's being honest. He can feel the sinking weight of the words selfish, self-centered, vain. It's like a horrible thrumming in his chest, every time he thinks too hard about it. Thankless and paranoid, Steve usually keeps quiet.

It's when Steve meets Robin Buckley, things start to change just a little bit. She's the first to come the closest to making him believe he can maybe be beautiful.

It's after a shift at Family Video. Robin and Steve are sitting on the hood of his BMW at the quarry. They're stargazing. Something that before Robin, Steve would have considered a waste of time.

He is so very glad he met Robin.

Steve has never really told anyone how he feels about himself. He doesn't think it would do him any good. He comes close though when suddenly Robin turns from looking at the sky, looks directly at his face, and says, "Sometimes, you remind me of the stars."

Steve startles and comes up with an eloquent "Huh?"

Robin giggles softly. "It's the moles. Reminds me of the constellations. I sometimes want to connect them, see if they match."

Steve just stares, unsure of what to say. Feels captured by her. Can feel that familial love between them grow even more.

Robin reaches out. Carefully, delicately, as if Steve might stop her. She brushes against the moles across his face and lightly connects them. "Pretty."

It's just one word, but for a moment Steve believes it's true. It's only a second, but he thinks he might remember this moment forever.

"Thanks Rob." He whispers, afraid to break the moment.

Rob pauses for a second before continuing the journey back and forth on his face. It's if she can tell how fragile he is when she whispers back "No problem Dingus."

He doesn't believe it for very long, but it at least makes him more grateful for Robin.

———

Steve Harrington isn't sure he's ever felt beautiful.

Well, until he meets Eddie Munson.

It's small at first. From the second Eddie meets Steve, it's almost as if he can read every single thought that comes across his mind.

And when they become friends, after Vecna, after it all, it's as if Eddie can see completely through Steve.

Eddie notices when Steve gets uncomfortable with backhanded compliments on his looks. When Steve tenses in the slightest towards what the kids, customers, or even Nance are saying (he remembers a distinct can't believe another woman hasn't been fooled by the Harrington looks yet, from her). And at first, Eddie seems to just catch on and change the subject. Shifts the attention to himself instead.

Steve's grateful.

But then Eddie starts to correct people. Shape the compliments better, more suited to Steve. There is a girl trying to flirt with him in Family Video once when Eddie is visiting. Steve isn't super receptive to it and even shrinks away a bit when the girl—Sadie he thinks her name is—looks him up and down and says "Sorry I'm taking so long, just I can't help if you're so distracting. You look so good today Steve,"

It doesn't feel good, even though he wants it to. But then there is Eddie cutting Sadie off by saying, "It's the smile isn't it?"

Eddie looks directly at Steve, chin in his hands as he leans across the counter. There is a slight uptilt to his lips while ignores Sadie's confused "Huh?"

"Can't look away when you see a smile that bright."

Steve doesn't think too badly about himself for the rest of the day.

After that something shifts in Eddie too. The verbal comments don't become fewer, but the looks do become more frequent. It's these absolutely intoxicating looks, that shake Steve to his core.

Eddie's eyes trail him, whisper to him, fucking follow his every movement.

There is this one time when Steve throws his head back and laughs harder than has in his life when Robin trips into Nancy's lap. He is sure it really isn't that funny, and he knows he looks awful with the snorting and tears running down his face. But Eddie, Eddie's eyes just follow the line of Steve's neck, connect all of his moles with his gaze, and just beams at Steve.

For a moment, Steve feels gorgeous.

———

Even with these little things, Steve Harrington doesn't feel beautiful.

After everything with Vecna, what little he liked about himself is quite literally torn apart. The stares are mixed now. Some admire him, some look upon him in horror. He can't decide which feels worse. They both make him feel so distinctly other. Something to look at, something to hang on the wall and contemplate.

And moments like these ones, sitting in his backyard in broad daylight, in 90-degree weather for a pool party the kids begged him to have, he can't help but cover himself up. Hide away.

Eddie sits next to him in the lounge chair on his right with a distinct plop, shaking Steve from his spiral momentarily.

"You doing alright there big boy?" Eddie raises an eyebrow.

"Yea. I'm good man." Steve tries to shake off.

"Really? Cause like I know you and Rambo—" Eddie points at Nancy "—don't exactly go in the water anymore, but the least you can do is take your shirt off. It's hotter than Satan's ass out here, and that's a lot coming from me. Considering my reputation with knowing him personally and all."

Steve looks out at the backyard, at the kids in the water, at Robin trying hopelessly not to stare at Nancy, and he contemplates for a moment. He could lie to Eddie, but that didn't feel right. They had grown too close for that. He could tell him to shove off, and Steve knows that Eddie would, no questions asked. It doesn't feel right either. Because for once, Steve wants. Steve aches. So he turns to Eddie slowly and says "I don't want them to stare."

Steve doesn't specify who. He doesn't think he needs to. It's not really anyone really. Or maybe it's everyone.

Instead of telling him they won't stare, or he has nothing to be ashamed or that he's a hot piece of ass, Eddie says "Why don't you want them to?"

Steve feels like he's been hit by a truck.

He takes a sharp breath "I—I just feel—" He tilts his head back trying to hold back tears before looking at Eddie again "—It just makes me feel like a thing. Like something to observe. The scars, they are just awful. And I know yours are the same but it's just different. It fits you, not me. I'm not sure anything fits me really. And—and even if it's not the scars they stare cause they think I like it, like it's a compliment. But I don't believe it. It's not true. It never has been, even before the Upside Down. I'm just Steve. I'm just here and..." he trails off. Steve doesn't even think he is making any sense in the slightest. But then he sees Eddie's face through the tears, so serious and kind, and Steve sees that Eddie just gets it.

Without hesitation, Eddie stands up and grabs Steve's wrist lightly, and drags him up. "C'mon" is all he says before taking Steve inside.

Steve expects a speech, Eddie is famous for them, but instead all he does is pull him into the kitchen. "Let's make the kids lunch, yeah?"

So they do. For the next five minutes, they work in comfortable silence, preparing sandwiches. Steve's shoulder's relax, the tension begins to leave his body. He can feel Eddie's warmth at his side. Can hear Eddie start to hum the tune of "Everybody wants to Rule the World" next to him, even though Steve is certain Eddie hates Tears for Fears. And because Steve knows it's for him he can't help the smile that blooms across his face, dimples and all.

Suddenly, Eddie stops humming and takes Steve's face into his hands, caressing his cheeks with his thumbs. Back and forth. Back and forth.

Steve's smile, albeit softer now, remains on his face when he asks, "What?"

Eddie leans in, a whisper away from his lips, and replies "Beautiful."

He then kisses Steve in the only way that can be described as devoted affection. It's warm and true. It's like coming home.

And Steve Harrington for the first time feels beautiful.

———

When time moves on, and Steve has bad days, where he feels like he's rotting from the inside out, he remembers this moment. He remembers when his boyfriend saw him covered in sweat, tears, and mayo, and can't help but kiss him for the first anyway.

He remembers Eddie can't see anything beyond Steve's smile and think that he was anything but beautiful.

———

Do I develop Steve's character more than necessary? yes. Will it ever stop me? no. Sorry I love a good character study. I need to do one for Eddie next.

Not much to say here except, like steve says this might not make a whole lot of sense, but it felt good to get out. Sometimes it's okay to want to be called pretty. It's not shallow or vain. It's good for the soul. Hope the pacing was okay. Llet me know what to write next <3

#steddie #ficlet #steven harrington #there are different ways of being called beautiful #sometimes we just need reassurance #eddie munson #robin buckley #stranger things #ao3 #angst #angst with happy ending #hurt comfort #character study #my writing #fanfiction #steve x eddie #steddie fanfic #words of affirmation #love languages #eddie munson is a softie #nancy wheeler