#angsty w/ happy ending

[kaladinkholins]

Thinking about the crazy love triangle situation in Blue Eye Samurai and debating heavily with myself on how I'd like to see it conclude. And yeah this discussion can be thought of purely as shipping, headcanons, and fandom fun. But when analysing the show and engaging with it in a more in-depth, almost-literary level, it's impossible to dismiss who Mizu's potential love interests are and how different endgame romances would affect her character arc and the overall story and themes.

So in this post I'd like to look at the love triangle a bit more closely, and speculate on where the story will take this.

DISCLAIMER: It is my personal interpretation of the text that Mizu is non-binary—I use this as an umbrella term denoting any gender that does not adhere to the binary restrictions, norms, and expectations of what it means to be either a man or woman in a particular society; it's not just an androgynous "third gender" that exclusively uses they/them pronouns. Thus, while I personally believe Mizu is not strictly a cis woman, she does still identify with womanhood, despite definitely feeling a level of detachment from it due to living as a man for so long. With that being said, I will be using she/her pronouns for Mizu in this post, but please note that this is purely personal preference. Everyone is free to interpret the text the way they like. That's the fun of fiction. Now, without further ado, let's proceed.

Okay so, thinking about the pairings on a purely surface level, and even before i got into the show, I was pinning my hopes on some lesbianism going on between Mizu and Akemi, and the show does hint at this; in Ep1, during their first encounter in Kyoto, there is the famous slow-mo shot of their eyes meeting, Mizu's lips slightly parted as she is unable to tear her gaze away from Akemi, while sweet string music plays in the background. This is clear romantic framing, and a marker of attraction. If Mizu was a cishet man, there would be no question that this is a potential love interest.

But then, in the same episode, we meet Taigen, who is introduced to us firstly from hearing Akemi's father describe him as "a fierce and undefeated young samurai", the "best swordsman in the best school" and "a fisherman's son from Kohama [...] whose rise reminds [him] of [his] own."

In the next scene, we meet him in person as Akemi's fiance, and he seems sweet enough. He even gives her sweets! In exchange, Akemi gives him gold, and he feels a bit ashamed that he doesn't have anything better to offer her. But Akemi accepts him and his gift wholeheartedly and flirts with him a little, which makes him smile kinda shyly.

When Akemi confirms their engagement, Taigen is in disbelief because he has no status or noble background, but Akemi reassures him.

So from these first few scenes, we're introduced to Taigen as an honourable and strong samurai, but also as a man who is sweet and gentle with the woman he is about to marry, as well as aware of his own inferiority when compared to Akemi's high station.

Our view of him then changes as his true self is revealed: he is an arrogant and smug bastard among his peers, but more importantly, he is the terrible bully from Mizu's childhood.

And it is this side of Taigen--pompous jerk and unrepentant xenophobic bully--that we continue to see as the show goes on, and it's safe to say that this is his real self, sans any pretense of humility and modesty. Around anyone who isn't an outright superior in terms of class and power (ie. Akemi's father, the shogun), Taigen never hesitates to assert his own authority and "greatness."

But as the show goes on, he gets caught by Heiji Shindo's men, and then tortured. And that's when we see, okay, turns out he's not that bad. He's honourable; "honour" is not just meaningless and superficial pedantry for him, but an internalised, guiding principle.

He was a cruel asshat throughout Mizu's childhood, but in a prejudiced and xenophobic society, he was just playing by the rules. As a child, he knew he was at the bottom of society, but when met with someone even lower ranked than him (Mizu), he can project all those prejudices and insecurities onto someone else. This way of thinking--"if you can't beat 'em, join em"--is what allowed him to climb up the ranks despite being some dirt poor kid from an abusive household*.

*Well, that combined with his cismale privilege of course, because this would not be an option for a woman in similar circumstances.

Thus, his upholding of honour also exemplifies how Taigen embodies the ideals and rules of his society. His insistence on duelling Mizu is another more blatant example of this. He doesn't want revenge like Mizu does. He wants to be accepted by society, within the bounds that society has placed, and that means that his only two options following his defeat at the Shindo dojo were to either chase Mizu down and get his damn duel, or kill himself for his humiliating defeat.

Now! Moving on from Taigen, let's go back to the other end of this little love triangle: Akemi.

Mizu and Akemi only properly meet in Ep4. During their first meeting, when Akemi tries to poison Mizu in Madame Kaji's brothel, she compliments Mizu's eyes, calling them "beautiful."

This seems to genuinely take mizu off-guard for a second before she coolly plays along. We know that Mizu recognises Akemi from the get-go, and thus sees through Akemi's ploy from a mile away. It's also safe to assume she'd expected false flattery, because Mizu understands full well that this tactic is how women get what they want: by using their 'feminine wiles' and playing up their naivety and innocence. But even so, it's interesting that Mizu actually seems surprised by Akemi's compliment.

Then, after Mizu subtly taunts Akemi by lying about Taigen's death, she and Akemi have a bit of a scuffle, and then we get to Mizu saying this:

"Women in our world don't have a single good option. Except you, like some magical forest creature. You could have anything you want, but then you beg to eat trash."

(no screenshot because it's quite a long line but you get it)

Here we see Mizu's opinions on the marginalisation of (mostly poor and under-privileged) women stated outright, and underlying her words is also resentment. Because even though she and Akemi have shared experiences of female oppression, Mizu, unlike Akemi, was also poor, from a rural village, and is a racial minority. Mizu is triply oppressed, while Akemi only faces one primary form of oppression, and to someone as embittered by the world as Mizu is, to see Akemi "beg to eat trash" is a slap in the face, practically tone-deaf to the other injustices around her--injustices which Akemi has not shown much, or any, acknowledgement for at this point.

Then, after this scene, Mizu kills Kinuyo, and this unsettles her to a degree we've never seen from her before. She is visibly distraught, and the entire sequence hammers the theme of this episode (and arguably, a large portion of the show) into our heads: women in this world suffer. And even though Mizu is well aware of this fact, to commit this act is so visceral that is shakes her to her core, and it's what ultimately leads to the ambush of the Thousand Fangs.

But before the ambush, Mizu and Akemi talk a little again, and during this time Akemi taunts Mizu some more.

Right now, Mizu is exhausted to the point where (I believe) she even downs some sake, despite not usually drinking. Thus, worn down, she cuts Akemi's ropes and tells her, "Just go." Akemi recovers from her initial fear of Mizu's blade and taunts her some more, accurately seeing through Mizu's facade of coldness, recognising the raw anger there, and says this:

"I thought you had to be something special. Your face isn't even so scary. You're just... angry."

At this, Mizu is amused and compares Akemi to Taigen ("I see why he likes you. You're just like Taigen when we were children. A fucking brat.")

The reveal that Mizu and Taigen knew each other in childhood surprises Akemi, but before either of them can say more, everything goes to shit.

That's when we get to Ep5. This episode focuses primarily on Mizu, the central piece of this love triangle, and does the most out of all the episodes to shed some light on her character and goals, fleshing her out to be more than just the vengeful, highly proficient samurai we've seen thus far (symbolised by The Ronin), but also a person who is capable of love, domesticity and gentleness (symbolised by The Bride). But in the end, Mizu rejects both these ideals, instead becoming an Onryo, who is neither guided by pride/honour, nor love.

By 'reincarnating' into an Onryo, Mizu is able to win the day and save the women in the brothel. However, as she has now fully embraced her status as an Onryo, and is exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally, she lets the Tokunobu clansmen take Akemi away while Akemi's screams echo in her ear.

Mizu says this choice is for Akemi's own good, that Akemi's better off; because Mizu is jaded and weary, and cannot afford the luxury of idealism, and thus must always be strictly practical and realistic. So of course that's why, in her view, yes, Akemi should not be wasting her time in a brothel where women are exploited and abused, nor should Akemi be so naive to think that her marriage with Taigen is even still possible. However, regardless of Mizu's views, it is not for her to decide, because though Akemi is privileged in some sense, she is still trapped and voiceless, and deserves the right to choose her own destiny.

But as it happens, in the end, though Akemi did not choose who she gets to marry, she DOES get to choose her next move when Edo burns down.

"I want to be great."

This one line is the key to her entire arc, which is only just beginning. We see she quickly has acquired the affection and good graces of the shogun's son after their wedding night and consummation, and with Madame Kaji and the girls now serving her, Akemi will only grow to become a prominent political player.

NOW, only after analysing the characters as they are within this season, only can we speculate how their arcs will continue as the show progresses.

First and foremost, I will reassert the popular opinion that Mizu and Akemi are foils. The climax (pun intended) of Ep7 illustrates this as it parallels the turning points in both Mizu's and Akemi's arcs:

Mizu melts the steel of all her loves and shames, the people she's collected: the broken blade wielded by both Chiaki and Taigen, Akemi's knife, Ringo's bell, Master Eiji's tongs - this symbolises her beginning to accept herself, and in doing so, also accepting the help of others;

Akemi consummates her marriage with Takayoshi Itoh, gains his affection, and cements her position as a woman in the shogun's palace - this symbolises her taking charge of her situation, no longer playing the damsel, but using her position to her advantage, empowering both herself and the underprivileged women around her.

These are thus two directly contrasting, diverging journeys:

Mizu's arc moves inward (yin). It is an internal path of self-love and self-discovery, focused on finding peace and tranquility inside herself, and this involves allowing herself to let others into her life, opening herself up to friendship and empathy once more.

Akemi's arc moves outward (yang), it is an external path of growth, transforming from a naive, caged princess to a powerful woman and a force to be reckoned with.

Akemi is always dressed in red, even her eyes are a bit of a reddish-brown rather than brown-black like most other characters, and in her penultimate scene she stands against a backdrop of flames. She is fire: quick-tempered, passionate, full of energy. Red is powerful, authoritative, and in eastern cultures, it is associated with prosperity.

Mizu is blue: her eyes, her sword, her clothes. She is also named after water; it's where she goes to recover, reflect and meditate. Water is fluid like a brook weaving around a stone in its path, always changing and adapting, it is graceful, it is beautiful and ruthless, tranquil yet swift.

Thus, in the future, I expect we will see plenty of political manoeuvring and intrigue in Akemi's plotline, where she fully embraces control of her life, and begins to take action to help others as well, realising that her own oppression is just one piece in a much larger picture. Her main conflict is with society.

In direct contrast, Mizu's main conflict is with herself. She must realise that her desire for vengeance is a projection of her own deep-rooted self-hatred. Her arc must move towards unpacking her feelings and trauma so she can be at peace with herself and allow space for love in her heart. Because as we saw in Ep5, Mizu had come extremely close to achieving peace and joy, as she had not only loved Mikio, but also had briefly believed that Mikio had loved her (and accepted her for who she is) as well.

Thus, assuming the story is not planned as a tragedy, Mizu will likely end up getting her vengeance, but it will not satisfy her, because it is not what she needs. What she needs is to let go of the Onryo within her and to reconcile both The Ronin and The Bride within herself, as she is both a fighter and a lover, but not a monster.

(Edit: I recommend checking out this post by @stylographic-blue-rhapsody for a much clearer analysis about Mizu'a symbolism as Ronin, Bride and Onryo!)

And now that we've mostly covered each of the characters individually, we can finally get to the main point of this post: the love triangle.

--

Let's talk about Option A: Akemi.

As I covered extensively earlier, Mizu and Akemi are foils, a yin-yang pair. But while they play off each other very well in a thematic sense, I personally believe that a serious romance between them will be more complicated if they become endgame. This is because Akemi's natural resolution is to embrace a position of power and influence, where she has both freedom and control over herself and to make much-needed changes in a prejudiced society. Meanwhile, Mizu's natural resolution is the opposite; her happy ending would to find a peaceful life where she is safe and free from prying eyes, and able to be her true self.

Thus, it would make very little sense for Akemi to forfeit power and run away with Mizu and start a humble life together. Akemi wants to be great, and that is absolutely what she deserves. On the other end of the spectrum, it would also make little sense for Mizu to dedicate her life in service of Akemi, such as acting as a bodyguard or something similar, because a life in a palace full of court intrigue and conspiracies is far from what Mizu needs to be happy.

With that being said, if Mizu/Akemi is endgame, and assuming their overarching character arcs do not shift directions, their love story would likely be either tragic, doomed, or bittersweet. I do absolutely love this type of story because personally I'm a sucker for catharsis, so it would be very interesting if the writers do decide to take this route.

Also, as a note, please do not take this as me dunking on this pairing. This is just my personal opinion and analysis and I completely understand if you disagree!

--

Then, of course, we have Option B: Taigen.

Between Akemi and Mizu, Taigen is a bit of a free-floater here, because Season 1 leaves off at a point where his arc is very ambiguous as to where it's headed. While Akemi climbs for greatness and Mizu goes on a journey across the ocean to (presumably) discover more about her heritage, we have little clues about where Taigen is headed. And if I'm being honest, I'm sure he has no idea either! He still hasn't reclaimed his honour, so he would be unable to rejoin the Shindo Dojo; he's been rejected by Akemi; and while he showed loyalty to the shogun, the shogun is now dead, and all the shogun's men who had witnessed his "humiliating" death were left to die by Lady Itoh, who is now pulling the strings within the palace.

Therefore, Taigen has very few options here.

And when considering his role in the story is as Mizu's begrudging ally, his arc will undoubtedly be focused on unlearning his xenophobia and misogyny, the latter of which we have not seen yet, but is surely present. Now, whether he will do this in Mizu's presence or absence will be unknown until we see Season 2. Following the Season 1 finale, he might return to Kohama and wait for Mizu there as he learns humility and remorse over his past cruelty; or maybe he will follow Mizu to London, and the two of them will continue to butt heads until he finally admits to himself that he cares for Mizu more than he would like to admit. There is no room for doubt that his growing feelings for Mizu are more-than-platonic, because we all saw him get turned on by sparring with her in Ep7 lol. Thus, regardless of the exact choice he makes, I am sure that his overall arc will be focused on redeeming his character.

Now, when it comes go redeeming him, I know there are many who simply don't want him redeemed because he was such a jerk to Mizu, and while yes I agree he was awful, I do believe there is also nuance to his character.

Previously I've discussed in great detail the colour and elemental symbolism with Mizu and Akemi, but have yet to touch on how they relate to Taigen. So, let's talk about that for a second.

While Akemi is red and Mizu is blue, Taigen is green.

Green is a complementary colour to Akemi's red. Complementary colours are directly opposite each other in the colour wheel; when mixed, they neutralise each other, but when put side-by-side, they form a pleasing and impactful contrast that boosts the brightness and prominence of both colours. This mirrors Taigen and Akemi's relationship. They are an "ideal" pair because they complement each other very well, and bring out each other's most prominent traits. Mizu's comment about their similar "brattiness" comes to mind here.

Green is also an analogous colour with Mizu's blue. These colours are sitting right next to each other on the colour wheel; their natural similarity makes it easy for them to form a cohesive overall appearance, but using both in equal amounts will make a design overwhelming and too busy. Thus, the best way to use analogous colours is to make one the dominant colour, while the other will serve as an accent. I feel this also speaks to the dynamic in Taigen and Mizu's relationship. They came from the space place, both from nothing; they're both strong fighters who love the sport, and work well together when fighting side-by-side; however, they butt heads too easily, mirroring how analogous colours can be too overwhelming when used in equal amounts. Thus, to work together in harmony, one has to be the dominant colour, while the other serves as the accent. In this case, the dominant force would be Mizu, as she is the protagonist of the story, while the accent would be Taigen.

By fulfilling this role as an "accent" to Mizu, Taigen's character would easily be slotted in as a the love interest. This is in contrast with a Mizu/Akemi relationship, whereby Akemi is Mizu's foil before she is Mizu's love interest. This is because, by being a love interest, a character usually takes a backseat in the story, serving the plot and the themes by playing a purely supportive role, and this is not possible in Akemi's case because her character exists to parallel and contrast Mizu (red and blue), and not to support her.

It is possible to serve as a supporting love interest in Taigen's case however. And this is because he, unlike the other characters, does not currently have a definitive place within the story. He initially served the plot as an antagonistic force, but now as he is slowly unlearning his prejudices and becoming a better person, he can no longer serve the story by acting purely as a rival.

Instead, he will serve the story by literally supporting Mizu. And this relates to Taigen being earth, which is steady, firm and reliable, unwavering in loyalty and principles, hardworking and rooted in stability, which is seen in Taigen's staunch and inflexible obedience to the traditions and rules of society. These traits are what make him a perfect samurai, but not a good man. However, unlike most people in their world, Taigen is still capable of change and redemption, which is why Mizu says that he has the potential to be great. Not great by way of power or glory, but great in character. Already, he is honourable to a fault, and does not betray Mizu even after she technically robbed him of everything he was striving towards. And when he was shot by an arrow in the chasm, he did not hesitate a second to tell Mizu to use him as a human shield and save herself.

The trigger for his redemption is Mizu. If she had never beat him in that duel, Taigen would live on to become a man like Akemi's father. Cruel, power-hungry, controlling, conservative. But through Mizu, Taigen's sharp edges are ground down, much like water that wears down the stones in a river.

Where Mizu and Akemi's possible love story would be a clash of wills, full of passion and even heartbreak, a possible love story between Mizu and Taigen would be the wearing down of souls. Mizu would make Taigen a better person, and in turn Taigen would dedicate his full respect and support to Mizu as his equal, thus getting her to slowly open up and love herself. Already, Taigen has grown enough to admit (begrudgingly, and in his own Taigen way) that Mizu is better than him; though, clearly, he still has a long way to go, as he still calls Mizu a demon shortly after that.

But basically, Taigen is a very simple man (his main goal now is "to be happy"), and Mizu has great depths that he cannot yet fathom. For this love story to work, it has to begin with Taigen changing for the better. If he succeeds in that, and is able to accept Mizu for all her complexities, I believe that they will make a formidable pair. And though he'd likely still throw a jab or snarky remark at Mizu every now and then, I think he'd come tl wholeheartedly admire Mizu as a brilliant swordsman and a kind soul. Thus, should things work out and this be endgame, Taigen would be able to provide Mizu with what Mikio could not: an idyllic life that is not built on a lie, but mutual trust, respect, admiration, and equality.

Or hey, maybe they could both make their own dojo together! I don't know.

(Edit: This post by @rinandsketches does a great job at delving into Taigen's character and a potential Mizu/Taigen relationship if you'd like to read more about this angle!)

--

Now, as I move on from Taigen, there are a couple more options on how to resolve this love triangle and that includes Option C: Ringo.

In this option, Mizu does not have an endgame romance with either Akemi or Taigen. In this route, she finds peace and love through friendship, solidarity, and a found family between herself, Ringo and Master Eiji—a bunch of outcasts in society who make a strong trifecta of sword-makers.

Also, as an aside while I'm talking about Ringo, I'd like to point out that I believe his element is air and his colour is a neutral grey; he is talkative, easy-going, wise, curious, light on his feet (stealthy) and free-spirited, which are all traits linked to air, and traits that complement Mizu nicely, as he is capable of getting Mizu to open up and trust others again, while Mizu helps him reach his true potential for greatness.

--

And finally, there's Option D: Polyamory.

This is basically an "all of the above" option, in which everyone wins and it's a super duper happy ending. It would also be awesome to get some polyamorous representation, and seeing the dynamic between Akemi/Mizu/Taigen play out would be very entertaining and refreshing. So, you never know, this just might be the true endgame!

--

AAAAND with that, I close my extremely long analysis of what is essentially Mizu's love life. Whatever the final outcome of this love triangle though, I just hope it will be well-written and satisfying to all the characters' respective arcs. (Also I just want Mizu to be HAPPY goddamn it because she deserves the world and her coochie eaten out)

Now, I highly doubt anyone will read any of this (especially not until the end!) but that's fine. I just have so many thoughts and feelings about this show and I just needed to get this out of my system lol! But if by some miracle you did read this far, I wholeheartedly welcome any sharing of thoughts and ideas because man am I obsessed with this show! But of course, if we have an opposing opinions, please be respectful when letting me know; I am very open to friendly discussions.

#blue eye samurai #mizu x taigen #mizu x akemi #mizu blue eye samurai #mizu x akemi x taigen #blue eye samurai meta #also if you ask me PERSONALLY. based on my own analysis which you can read above. personally i'm placing my bets on option b (mizutaigen) #and this is simply bcs i think mizu deserves nice things and that includes getting dicked down and pampered and worshipped #whoops who said that #also mizu deserves to live a life where she can hand taigen's ass to him on a daily basis. ykwim. #BUT i am def open to a change of opinion regarding the mizuakemi rship as the story progresses #i just dont want the writers to reduce akemi into nothing but a love interest for mizu #the only way i can see a happy mizuakemi endgame scenario is if blue eye samurai becomes purely an angsty romance story #in which case then yes i fully endorse the akemi ending <3 #but that would probs require a whole genre overhaul? bcs currently the show is firstly an action-epic where the romance is just a subplot #but even tho i dont reeeeally want a mizuakemi endgame i still DEF want mizu & akemi to be romantically and/or sexually involved plsss <3 #like they cant have that slow-mo shot between the two of them as their first encounter and NOT DO ANYTHING W IT!!! #also i want mizu to be at LEAST a little sapphic plsplspls #shut up haydar #meta dissertations.pdf #haydar's fandom posts #i wrote this whole thing while delirious and covid positive

[limeartichoke]

mmm idk how i feel abt this but I'm posting it anyway cause i know someone will appreciate it ‼️‼️

#idk if I'm happy w the ending tbh!!! #originally had 3 more frames which made it kess ambiguous #but i feel like that softened the little impact this already had #i guess the “good bye” meant more of a like #hey you're good now lemme go do my own thing in my spiritual state #idk man #interpret it as you wish #angsty techza makes my heart ache #i do it anyway though #techza #q techza #qsmp #art #qsmp fanart #q philza #q techno #mcyt lore #mcyt shipping #mcyt fanart #qsmp shipping #c techza #chayanne #chayanne pov #ender king #fanart #Minecraft #philza #technoblade

[meli-mouse]

Some sad boys

#kazuscara #scaramouche #kazuha #genshin #genshin impact #from an au ive been doodling where they wear basic clothes bc genshin designs lil me every time #they're in college and struggling in their own ways #extremely self indulgent angsty au w a happy ending tho! Might post more

[kodaiki]

valentine’s day has gotten me in the angstiest mood rn

#like the urge write something angsty w a happy end #sigh #all bc i’m single 😋😋 #𐀔 babbles

[welcometogrouchland]

[ID: digital fanart of Luz and Eda from the owl house set after the season 2 finale King's Tide. The image depicts a crying Luz, sat on the floor and holding an acoustic guitar as if to play it. She's looking down with a frustrated expression, and a dark shadow is cast over her. Behind Luz and faced away from the viewer is Eda playing the lute and kneeling down. She's smiling and is drawn with lighter colours and lineart. There's a soft light coming from off screen illuminating Eda and Luz. The background is white, except for a minimalistic depiction of a floor, which is done with a peach gradient. End ID]

It's not time to make a change / Just relax, take it easy / You're still young, that's your fault./ There's so much you have to know

Things she never got to teach you

based on the HC of Luz having learned guitar from her dad, and me realizing how similar it is to Eda's lute. Perfect recipe for musical angst </3

#the owl house #toh #toh spoilers #(i know its been a couple weeks since the finale but just in case) #luz noceda #eda clawthorne #eda the owl lady #this started as a quick posing practice that then evolved into colouring practice that THEN became lighting practice #it spawned from the hc that luz plays an instrument of some sort #i love projection so i hcd that she plays guitar and that her dad taught her (tho she didn't really pick it up again after he died) #which was all fun and games until i remembered that Eda canonically plays the lute #(which is kind of like an old timeu guitar if you think abt it. kind of) #and suddenly post kings tide the thought got VERY angsty. I'm a big fan #anyway tried out something new for the shading/colouring here and actually ended up pretty happy w/ it??? #I've never done it outside of sketches so i was worried it'd look weird w/ lineart but it doesn't!!! huzzah!!! #anyway put father and son by cat stevens on more toh playlists. its thematically relevent!!! #edit: added in the hc context from the tags cause i felt like the post was confusing without it lol

[ykhdc1w]

Love is a disease My messed up heart still remembers you Even if I die in the end I come back to you

LOVE VIRUS (2050) eng translation by Imbabey

+

#onewenet #weusnet #kbandsnet #onewe #giuk #lee giuk #lee giwook #cya #gi #to #ms #no this isnt the correct narrative #but these shots were too pretty not to use in an angsty gif fic #it might look like happy ending w the bonus #but she'll disappear when he reaches for her because the time machine breaks #so does his heart

[cerealmonster15]

im having. treycay fic idea.

#a little angsty but like happy ending bc i simply cannot bring myself to write for them ending on a sad note i just Cant Do It #but. but. the problems. im thinking about them. oguhhfhghhgh #hitting them with a broom i have to write more of the kalim/silver story. but!!! #i gave the disclaimer that that one would update slowly. i am at the whims of the brain juice #and this plotbunny is starting to scamper around my mind quicker and quicker #there is angst potential for them i am not ignorant of this. however. i refuse the perma angst i simply cannot do it LOL #im all about that hurt/comfort ther HAS TO BE COMFORT IF IM DRIVING #actually i think the very first fic i posted on ao3 was just straight angst #and i mean it probably wasnt very good LOL but yknow we all start somewhere #i mean. this might not be very good either. but it's FINE im just. we have ideas and we express them w/art it's FUN #ok bye lol

[blobbei-art]

Turns out the big harpy monster is actually a nice and depressed ex-human so you become buddies and hang out with him

#oc #kasifer #hadiye #harpy AU #oc art #art #my art #artists on tumblr #he basically tells her 'oh yeah x thing happened in this town. idk the full details but thats what it was like from my perspective' #and she didnt expect to immediately get exposition? but shes happy about it so she just ends up exploring the town w him #he goes 'oh this is where i used to go shopping' giving her a little tour #hes also very angsty about being a harpy #hadiye makes him feel a lot better thoug #theresia is ALSO there except i dont really have a design yet

[devilishdelights]

thinking…….

#i am not writing fic for this fandom help #like……. #my mind won’t shut up about the possibility of the first time never vanishing #and mc just knocks on mama door and opens it to find barbatos’s room. it takes awhile to click bc i imagine it’s been so long #then they’re like oh shit. oh shit. and have a complete breakdown #bc like. it’s an absolute mindfuck. i hate it so much. it’s so. angsty. but it’s sooooooo. interesting #also an au where mc doesn’t go up the stairs and belphie uses more and more demonic ways to convince them to go up there #like giving them sleep paralysis or making them sleep walk. #i want the horror!!!! #fuckin typos 😭 timeline* mams* #like what do you think the og timeline is even doing rn. to keep my sanity i imagine it dispersed and merged with the past when mc died and #merged w/ past mc’s body? #but afaik.. the og timeline is still going. mc didn’t come back bc they live in the past timeline now. #i imagine mc going to barb saying yo? bring me back to the og timeline? and he says it doesn’t exist anymore and that they have to stay here #breakdown ofc. eventually copes and adjusts. they’re fine. years down the line they somehow get back to the og timeline and realize barb #just fuckin lied #mc suffers and they should show it methinks #AND they’re all the way at the beginning too. #then happy ending bc i am the writer i forcibly merge everyone together so they’re all in the same timeline and mc doesn’t have to choose :) #obey me

[lovelyhan]

I’ve just stumbled across again & again for mingyu and tbh I haven’t read something this good in a while! Thank you for taking the time to write it so beautifully and I was hoping you would be able to give us a 2nd part of it.. I’ve been hocked 🥹

ahhh, thank you for these anon msgs! so glad you liked these stories, but i think i ended all three of them (not the Best way but) in ways that felt most right for me already? EJHFSDF ESP the two angsty ones LOL so a second part for any of them isn't really on the horizon rn

#🍵 tea time #anon #i Might add little snippets of mingyu and mc from again and again tho :3c #in conclusion #fics w happy endings can get more extras in the future #but the angsty ones will Stay angsty <3

[soov-archived]

finishing the hoon drabble i was writing some weeks ago, i'm literally on verge of tears :(

#so happy w how it's turning out #BUT ITS SO SAD #i mean 😭😭 the ending is kinda sad but cute #its not completely angsty but it has some angst n im liek 😭😭😭😭💔💔💔☹️☹️☹️💔☹️☹️🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹😢😢😢😢😢😣😣😣😣😣🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁 #my fav work atm!! i just need to finish this crucial part n post it #OH AND PROOFREAD IT #if anyone wants to proofread the drabble when i finish it just tell me 🫂 it'll be a big honor #uahdgan i forgot the word that is used to talk about the person that reads a work before it is published #yall know what i mean #so yeah :( that was the update #⚹︎ ─ spam.

[ghostbeam]

Once I figure out how to make the Dabi soulmate au I’ve always wanted to write work it’s OVER!!!!

#I overthink soulmate aus a lot #they are like some of my fav things ever tho #I just think it would be very difficult w him #and idk if I could do it in canon #maybe I could #it would be soooo angsty tho #possibly no happy ending and idk idk!!!! #idk if I want thaaaaat #we will see #I don’t even have a Single idea so #but it is something I’ve always wanted to try w himmmmm #just got out of class am thinking am thinkinggggg #I shouldn’t be thinking of other wips when I have bkg to work on!!!! #(who btw would be amazing in a soulmate au) #anyways #I’m gonna go get a little drink<3 #ghost thoughts

[tetsoorou]

ahhh i finally was able to sit down and write last night and it felt so nice :’) 

#ૢ་༘; lily talks. #it’s been like a month !!!!!! i’ve had no inspiration or motivation at all !!! #so i’m so happy it’s starting to come back :’) #it’s childhood best friends to strangers to lovers hehe #also it’s very angsty #LMAO #love that the one thing that inspired me is making one of my favs suffer <3333 #it has a happy ending tho hehe #also !!! can’t decide if i should end it w them fucking or not <333

[uglyducklingofthe2000s]

heyyyy💘💘💘 can u pls do either an angsty charles (w/happy ending ofc) abt like them getting back together after a break up OR i saw a vid of lando with an interlinked love cartier necklace and thought it’d be a cute idea if him and reader had like matching necklaces! LOVE U THANKS

Linked - LN

Hey, I do want to say I still have that Charles request, I know you'd sent it in. For some reason right now I'm just slow with Charles fics. I am going to try and get it done bc it's been ages since you sent it in so dw. I do a lot of requests out of sequence. But I promise it is coming.

Also, I looked into the necklace (I think it's the necklace you're referring to). It's actually not Cartier, I thought it was APM Monaco but it's not that either it's by a brand called Metal Noir as part of their signature collection. But for the sake of the request...we're going to pretend because I like your idea. I am going to say I'm a gold jewellery girl so...reader is too soz

Lando has always quite liked jewellery, having a small collection of some staples and recently fans have given him enough beaded or braided bracelets that he's having to find new storage for them.

"Is matching necklaces too much?" Lando asks looking at Jon who looks up in shock. He's done a lot for Lando, but giving relationship advice or even gift advice isn't really his forte.

"Y/n gets excited when you make her a sandwich mate. I think getting matching necklaces is definitely not too much." Jon states honestly while Lando smiles since his girlfriend did get very excited the other say when Lando made her a sandwich after he'd noticed she hadn't really eaten anything all day.

Lando likes having things that remind him of y/n when she's not around. He loves the woman, she is one of the few things that he can truly just say is all for him. He's almost greedy with her, only wanting her attention on him, hating to share her with anyone else.

"I'm getting them." Lando declares earning a slightly amused expression from his trainer.

-

It took a couple days to arrive and Lando was waiting at the door like a puppy while y/n was experimenting in making something in the kitchen. She'd already kicked Lando out for purposely bothering her while she tried to focus.

He'd done it intentionally so he'd be given the chance to keep an eye on the door for the delivery.

When it arrived he tried to pick between giving her the necklace in a box to open or to just give it to her. Or to wait till she's done.

Ultimately he puts his on first deciding he wants to see if she'll notice. He's pretty sure she could tell if he plucked a single eyebrow hair out. So no doubt a whole addition of a necklace will get her attention even if she's trying to shoo him out of the kitchen.

"Ooh...baby it smells good in here." He states walking into the kitchen and to his surprise she doesn't stop him.

"Thanks...I'm making a one tray roast...I think it's going to be good." Y/n mumbles clearly just in the process of clean up before she looks at him and does a double take.

It takes a couple seconds while Lando smirks a little at her.

"Where's that necklace from? Is it-Is that a Cartier necklace?" Y/n questions, eyes narrowing on it. "When did you get that?"

"Today. It just got here. But close your eyes, I got you a surprise too."

Her expression is immediately unimpressed since while he knows she's going to be happy, the girl hates surprises. At least in the sense that he wants her to close her eyes and wait.

"Please. I promise it's worth it." Lando pouts making her sigh and close her eyes.

Thankfully she's too with enough space for him to move behind her. And place the necklace around her neck, her body jumping slightly clearly not expect it before she raises her hand and tries to look down while he does the clasp.

"What-?"

"And now we match." Lando smiles making her pick up the connected loops.

"You got us the same necklace?"

"Well kind of, yours is gold because you're a little weirdo." Lando smiles earning a small laugh from the young woman before she smiles leaning to kiss him.

"You are the cutest boyfriend ever. Honestly, the cutest man ever." Y/n smiles before kissing him a couple times. "It is part of the love collection."

"As if I'd get you any other collection." Lando scoffs earning a grin from her. "Thought it was a nice metaphor for us. Linked together."

"Stop because I'll melt." Y/n pouts before kissing him a couple times. "I'm going to show this off you know."

"I expect no less." Lando laughs making her grin at him.

-

The post of their matching necklaces with the slight hint that Lando had been the one to get the necklaces kind of sent the fans feral. It didn't help that on his Lando.jpg account he posts a picture of his hand around her neck with the necklace just peaking out and her face hidden.

Hell even she had to admit the photo was hot. No surprise it's now his lock screen.

At the moment they're his driver room and he's changing for FP1, wanting her there. Y/n is playing with his reaction lights when suddenly a line drops past her eyes and she jumps feeling Lando's hands at the back of her neck.

"What's that?" She questions standing up from the hunched position she'd put herself in.

"I don't trust anyone else with the necklace. So if you wear it while I'm on track, I know it's safe."

"Baby...seriously, you're going to have to stop. That's the cutest thing you've ever said and done. Even cuter than getting the necklace." Y/n pouts actually feeling herself tear up that he's having her wear the necklace so he knows it's safe. "I'll guard it with my life."

"No, if it's the necklace or your life. I can buy another necklace to match you. Can't get another y/n."

"Alright, get ready and leave. I'm going to curl up and sob for a while. Seriously, I don't know why you're trying to break my heart by like...loving me so hard, but it's hurting." Y/n laughs though there's genuinely tears escaping as she moves to kiss him a couple times while he laughs at her.

"I just want you to know I love you."

"I know. Now stop being nice. I need my sarcastic, sassy boyfriend who doesn't know how to filter his words."

"No...he's gone when it comes to you." Lando grins then wrapping her tightly in a hug. "Alright, I do have to go. But you are not staying here to sob."

"I guess I can accept that." Y/n hums before smiling as he kisses her again. "You look good in these new fireproofs. Upgraded."

"Yeah, I like them." Lando states as he places her down. "Come on then."

Taglist: @namgification @hiireadstuff @jsjcue @geniusalpaca @itsjustkhaos @llando4norris @partyinpitlane @lpab @xoscar03

#f1 #fanfic #formula 1 #lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #ln4 x reader #lando x reader #lando norris x y/n #lando #norris #lando norris mclaren #mclaren f1 #lando norris fanfic #mclaren formula 1 #lando norris one shot #lando norris fluff #lando norris x you #lando norris fic #ln4 x y/n #ln4 #ln4 imagine #ln4 fic #ln4 fluff #ln4 x you #ln4 one shot #ln4 fanfic #ln4 mclaren #mclaren racing #mclaren

[gyuswhore]

Fifteen to Forever

"I can’t not be happy when I know I have you."

PAIRING: hockeyplayer!choi seungcheol x f!reader

SYNOPSIS: Fifteen was the age you had met Choi Seungcheol at a school hockey game. Forever was the age you would find yourself spending with him.

CONTAINS: fluff, angst, smut (MINORS DNI), growing up, tears (a lot), distance, this is so emotional you will be in your feels, kissing, p in v sex (unprotected), clit stimulation, handjobs, happy endings bc we love them, i think that's it

WORD COUNT: 6k

masterlist

[AN]: thank you so much @ressonancee for birthing the idea of hockey player cheol in the first place, reading over some of the bits and helping me w some of the plot!!! ty for letting me ramble in your dms lol. hockeyplayer!cheol WILL reappear in other fics bc I'm obsessed with the idea, for now, I hope you enjoy this angsty fluffy creation <33

It wasn’t until the last echo of the slammed car door had faded that you realized, yes, mom, I do actually want you to go in with me. 

But alas, as the last tresses of exhaust from her car fade into nothingness, you accept that you’d have to do this alone. Gripping the straps of your brand new backpack helps you ground yourself as the increasingly erratic breathing takes over you. It sinks in now that you’re alone. 

There’s a honk, and you realize you’re still frozen in the drop-off zone, the mom in the Subaru not appreciating the 7 AM delay to drop off her own high schooler. You wonder if her kid would let her drop them off inside. 

Scurrying into the entrance of the open gates, you find the courtyard full. Huddles of teens laughing and yelling despite the early morning hour, not a spare square foot on the grass. You try to find someone who looks like an adult but fail, hoping you’ll be luckier once you’re inside the building. 

You do find yourself lucky as you find a line of teachers at the entrance, ready to greet the new batch of freshmen on their first day of high school. There are a few other kids who look as tense as you, but you feel better with the way the administrator pats your shoulder as she hands you your schedule, assigning you to a lanky sophomore to show you around the building that’d become your second home for the next four years. 

Jeonghan tells you his name as he leads you into your homeroom, where you deposit your bag before going back out. He’s peculiar, you decide. He tells you to never walk without looking at the floor on Monday mornings to save your shoes from the occasional start-of-the-week breakfast hurl. He tells you in the cafeteria that the lasagna was horrible, but not the sloppy joes; the sloppy joes were good. He tells you in the gym that the coach would let you off if you rubbed a little eyeliner under your eyes, “he’s an empath.” 

By the time he’s listing off clubs and teams, you feel a little less nervous, pushing you back into your fuller homeroom with a sign-up sheet and a goodbye. You don’t get to say thank you. 

Kwon Soonyoung slips into the empty seat next to you, introducing himself a little louder than you’d anticipated, but you suppose you needed the enthusiasm. He innocently slips you his home number and hopes out loud that you’d be the best of friends. 

You get in the car that afternoon, responding with a wider-than-expected smile at your mother inquiring about your day. 

“It was great! I think I’ll like it here.”

You found it strange that the rink was so packed for a high school hockey game, but that was before you saw the ten-foot banner and face paint. Soonyoung sits on your right as Jiwoo places herself on your left, both donned in blue and yellow, sandwiching your uncoordinated outfit. For whatever reason, you’d thought movies exaggerated the hype around high school sports, yet the support for the boys entering the rink roars into your ears to prove you wrong. 

They win, and with the way the rest of the team pats him on the back after sending in the last puck, you assume it’s all thanks to the boy with the Choi on the back of his jersey. 

He removes his helmet, hair flopping into his eyes as you realize you know him. He was always in the cafeteria with Jeonghan, the boy who gave you a tour on your first day, along with many other boys from his year. It was hard not to notice them with the ruckus they were always causing, yet you found them easy to drown out with the rest of the noise. 

“What’s his first name? The guy with the 08 on his back?” you ask Soonyoung. 

“Oh, that’s Seungcheol. Dude’s a fucking progidy or something.”

“Prodigy,” Jiwoo corrects. 

“Yeah, that. Jihoon said the only reason they got to finals last year was ‘cause of this guy.” 

You watch as he drinks from his bottle from the benches, smiling at his coach and teammates as they debriefed. At least you were guessing that was happening; the only thing you were thinking about was how you could hear his laugh from where you sat. And how it was making you smile, too. 

You stare at your worn shoes that glow in multicolors as the beats in the gym warp and stagger through the speaker. You’re on your third punch, finding yourself awkward without something to occupy at least one hand. 

You had danced a little with Jiwoo, watched with bright eyes as Soonyoung dance off-ed yet another senior to his victory, giggled as you let another freshman, Jun, take Jiwoo away for the next dance. You now lace the edges of the party, taking a breather as you down the remnants of your punch, already trailing the memorized path to the snack table. Maybe you’ll try some of the lemonade this time. 

There’s already somebody occupying the lemonade cooler when you get there, back to you as you patiently wait for him to finish up. He moves away, leaning against the table. He takes a sip from his cup, and you move forward to fill your own. 

It’s Seungcheol. You recall his name as you recognize his face. He somehow looks as haphazard as you last saw him from yesterday’s hockey game. 

If he had come in with a tie, it’s long gone as he has his collar popped and shirt unbuttoned the first few steps. It doesn’t end there as you note the hair that dresses his eyes, soaked in what you cannot imagine is water with the way you saw someone with a similar build typhoon across the floor with nearly as much vigor as Soonyoung has had tonight. 

He’s downing the cup in haste, and you take a sip of the slightly tart drink as you debate if you should say something. 

“You did really well yesterday. Congrats,” you decide to say. 

He emerges from his cup to acknowledge you sipping on your own lemonade, “Oh, thanks. Were you there?” 

“Oh, yeah, I was. First hockey game, went with my friends,” you let out a little chuckle, not understanding why you suddenly felt so awkward. 

“Cool,” he answers plainly, mouth glistening and posture stagnant. “You’re friends with Soonyoung, right? Seen him hang around Jihoon a lot.”

“Yeah, he’s — he’s friends with everybody,” you laugh a little, and you hear him laugh with you. 

“How do you handle him? He’s giving a run for everybody’s money out there,” he gestures to the dance floor with a smile. 

“He mellows out after a while; he’s just excited,” you say, understanding his bewilderment.

“How’re you finding high school so far?” he asks when he runs out of things to say, yet forgets that he can easily excuse himself. But he doesn’t.

“Pretty alright. I’m having fun so far.” You don’t need to ask him the same, knowing well that the sophomore was having the time of his life.

“Good to hear, hope it stays that way for you.”

It’s another painful five seconds before you see Jiwoo waving at you from afar, pointing at something Soonyoung is doing. 

“Uh, I’ll see you around, my friend’s waving me over–”

“Oh, sure, uh, I’ll see you around.”

You give him one more tight-lipped smile as you wave from waist length before retreating. 

“Wait!” 

You turn around at his voice. 

“I never got your name.”

Seungcheol took you on your first not-date in the spring.

Not-date because neither of you had labeled it as such, but you were pushed to reconsider when both Jiwoo and Soonyoung insisted.

He had brought his car that you slipped into after school to drive to the movies, where he bought you popcorn and paid for both of your tickets. He held your hand as you walked out of the theatre, wide-eyed and all smiles as you discussed the film you had just sat through for two hours. 

His palm fit in yours like it belonged there, and maybe it was your fifteen-year-old brain talking. Still, you never expected to be this comfortable with him — especially after the possible insinuation your friends had instilled. 

He drove you home that night as you searched for a million excuses to stay a little longer in his car as he parked in front of your door. But alas, you open the car door at the end of the night and are surprised to find him doing the same as he walks around to where you get out. 

“I had a lot of fun today,” you say in your rehearsed line.

“Me too,” he smiles. “The weather’s getting nicer, we should see the cherry blossoms next weekend. If you wanted to. We can take the car again.” 

He didn’t kiss you, at least not on the lips as he hugged you at your front door and pressed his lips to your cheek. 

You were quick to squeak out your goodbyes after that happened, slamming your door shut as you vaguely heard him drive off. 

With a hand to your racing heart, you count to ten. Perhaps you’d reconsider that not-date after all. Besides, you had cherry blossoms to look forward to. 

Choi Seungcheol kissed you, really kissed you, when he brought the team to the cup they missed out on last year, throwing himself at you as soon as you appeared before him. He was sweaty, half-dressed in his gear with his skates still on as he embraced you tighter than anyone ever had before. 

He put his lips on yours the second he saw your face as you pulled away, unable to help himself despite the groans and retches of his teammates, despite the fact that an entire bleacher’s worth of people saw you both. 

Not that either of you cared; you were just happy he didn’t have his mouth guard on (and that he kissed you before you couldn’t help it yourself).

It was in your junior year and Seungcheol’s senior year that you began to hear the absurdities about the strength of your relationship, that you wouldn’t make it, that high school sweethearts never do. 

With shaking hands, you grip your boyfriend’s arm as he has a conflicted look in his eye. 

“No,” you say. You wonder where all of this strength was coming from when you all wanted was to cry. “You’re gonna go. You will go. I won’t let you throw all of this away because of something that’s never gonna waver.” 

He’s silent as he refuses to meet your gaze. The voices were getting to him, his older college friends laughing when he suggested that his relationship would last both college and the distance it would bring. He realizes he’s not so sure anymore. 

He sits cross-legged in front of you on your bedroom floor, mentally prepared to walk out for the last time. 

“You’re supposed to be happiest about this; I don’t understand why you insist I leave. And so far away?” he looks slightly bewildered. 

“Because you’ll regret it if you don’t. This isn’t about me, Cheol, it’s about everything you’ve worked for all these years—”

“Us, what about us? I’ve worked on us, too.”

“Why have you gone years without listening to a word what other people say to only listening to them now?”

“Was it just me, then? Because it feels like I’m the only one worried about our future together—”

“Choi Seungcheol, stop right there.” Your voice is brittle, and you don’t know how long you can keep the tears at bay. 

“I…I don’t know what to think,” his shoulders slump even lower. 

His hockey scholarship would take him so, so far away. He thought you were strong enough for this, but with every anecdote, every comment, every dejected “have it your way” to his resilience, he wonders if the both of you would be forced to fight a losing battle if he left. 

There were sports universities here at home, but there was no you with his scholarship. 

“I’ll tell you what to think. Will you listen to me?” 

Slowly, but surely, he nods. 

“You can get the scholarship you’ve always wanted, and we can stay as we are, although a little farther away.”

He looks like he wants to say something but doesn’t.

“I believe in us. And if you don’t right now, I’m ready to believe for the both of us. We’ll get through this.” 

In the end, Seungcheol believed you over everything the world told him, praying he wouldn’t let you or himself down as he laid with you on the last night he’d call his bedroom home. 

Graduation was a happy endeavor, momentarily forgetting what lay ahead as he enjoyed his last hours with all his friends in one place. The heavy feeling returned as the night progressed, agreeing to spend the night with him, tucked under his covers as you listened to his heartbeat. You wonder how long it will be until you're able to do this again. 

As you lay in his stripped bedroom, there’s little either of you say, an unspoken agreement to not sleep, not tonight. He has an early morning, but he doesn’t really seem to care as he continues to fiddle with your hair, kissing you at intervals like he's trying to bring back the feeling when it begins to fade. 

There’s little you can talk about when you’re trying to memorize each other’s scent. You remind yourself to give him your sweater when morning comes, already noting the hoodie you need to remember to pick up, the lone one he left you in his closet. 

But as the first rays of sun peeked through the blinds, sending stripes of sun into the bedroom, you tried not to feel the hard clench of your heart as the bare room came into sight. Despite the snoozing of alarms, the multiple knocks on his door, and the dawn of a new day, you let yourselves have an extra five, ten, fifteen, twenty minutes. 

Just you and him before it would be you, and it would be him.

Seungcheol called you more than you called him. It was everywhere, even if it was just to say a quick “I love you” before a game, to hear your voice before he went to class, to listen to you complain about an assignment before he had to do his own. 

As resilient as you showed yourself to be, you’d be lying if you said there was a part of you that was afraid of how much faith Seunghceol held for the both of you, but at ease you were with the constant bugging he’d do and the bugging he seemed to appreciate back. 

By Christmastime, he’d texted you his itinerary for the holidays, explaining how he couldn’t spare a second to things like thinking. Most of his list involved spending all day rotting indoors with you. 

As much as Seungcheol had hoped you’d pick a college nearer to him, he was less scared when you finally announced your college decisions close to graduation. The past year had proved a lot, mostly that you both were stronger than the distance. Which is why he was the first to congratulate you when you got into the college of your choice, despite the fact that you’d be even farther away, leaving home in what felt like the opposite direction to him. 

You were scared too, mostly of how Seungcheol would react, but seeing the smile break out on his face when you told him gave you all the reassurance you needed. That summer brought you the best memories of your teenage years, with Seungcheol, preparing for you both to leave. Except this time, the air was less tense, fewer tears shed, fewer solemn goodbyes at airport gates, and less desperation in both of your hearts. A surety that you’d come back to each other. 

Seungcheol was offered a contract with his dream hockey team when you were on the cusp of your final year. He told you nearly two weeks after he received the first email, not believing it until he was pestered to do so by the representative. 

You cried on the phone that night, the ache in your chest unbelievably present as you wished you could hug him at that moment. He denied his own tears, but you knew his glassier-than-normal eyes weren’t just through the camera lens. You told him you were proud, you told him this was only the beginning, that you needed to sit in the bleachers with his jersey on for every game he’ll ever play, that he was about to have an entire career to be proud of soon. 

He let a couple tears slip. 

And when he showed up to your graduation, sitting next to your family, you gave him the biggest hug you could muster from your bones. That year may have been the last you’d have to endure apart, but it was somehow the hardest. 

It was in that moment, when you pulled away to look at his smiling face, that the years registered in your mind. 

You’re fifteen again, seeing Seungcheol for the first time, donning the features he hadn’t grown into yet, the features you hadn’t grown into yet. You have to tiptoe to meet his lips now, see a man where there was once a boy, the deep set of maturity behind his pretty eyes. 

When he drops the last of your boxes into his — your shared apartment, you’re brought to the stark realization that you're going to stay here.

It’s when you’re unpacking your toothbrush, placing it in the cup right next to his that you realize you could do whatever you wanted with each other without having to work around flight schedules. It’s when he’s hobbling around wooden planks and screws in the bedroom, putting together the brand new queen-sized bed to replace his too-small twin, that you realize that you weren’t here for the week, or for the month or for any set amount of time; you were here forever.

At least that’s what you hope as you watch him collapse the last of the cardboard boxes to recycle, shoving in the corner of the entryway, leaving that job for tomorrow. 

By the time you emerge in the living room after a shower, Seungcheol has already begun to unpack the delivery food on the coffee table. It’s an array of delicious smells, slightly soggy food, and mounds of styrofoam and plastic wrap; a feast for your tired, tired bodies. 

The dumplings are amazing, and the warm feeling in your chest expands as you realize you can now order them whenever you like. 

Seungcheol picks out the chopped chilies from his food, migrating them onto your own plate as he talks about his next practice session without interruption. 

A thought occurs to you in that moment as you watch him down his cola. “Hasn’t coach put you on a diet plan?” 

“Yeah,” he says normally. You merely stare at him, not understanding how any of this junk could be any good for his form, especially when you know he’s good about abstaining when it comes to training. 

He smiles at the questioning look on your face, setting down his utensils, “It’s our first meal, in our first home. I think we deserve to share this with each other.” 

A smile breaks out on your face at the thought of this being your first meal, the first of many meals together in this home. Of all the meals you’ll share in every home after this, every day. 

And while Seungcheol finds himself sacrificing his diet to enjoy all of this greasy grub with you, you will also find yourself occasionally sharing his awfully bland chicken breasts and salads. All to share with each other. 

Walking into the bustling restaurant in your uncomfortable shoes and your arm around Seungcheol’s, you’re quick to find the group you’re looking for. 

The noise is a dead giveaway, and you quickly realize they haven’t changed. 

You hear Soonyoung before you see him, his distinct laugh echoing the loudest across the sea of mingling heads. A loud banner hangs at the end of the room with your high school grad year. 

You detach from Seungcheol as he finds his junior friends, and you find yours, taking both Soonyoung and Jiwoo into a bone-crushing hug. It’s been a while since you last saw them. The crowd of familiar faces greets you, making small talk with everyone as they introduce you to their partners and even their children. You’ve grown; all of you have. 

“Seungcheol’s here too. You guys were together in high school, right?” somebody asks you at some point during the night. ���He graduated before us, though; wonder who he’s here with.” 

You don’t blame them for assuming, considering both of you have been in your own circles all night. That, added to the obvious assumptions of high school sweethearts, you only laugh a little as you reply with a wider-than-usual smile. 

“Oh, he’s here with me,” 

You go home with a permanent smile stuck to your face, talking more animatedly than usual in the car ride home. Seuncheol mirrors your smile as he listens. 

Your good mood prevails for the rest of the night, even as you slip under the covers, ready to end the night on a happier-than-usual note. Seungcheol is reading his book when you crawl under his arm, head on his chest, and your arm slung across his torso. You feel his lips on the top of your head, the faint sound of his book being placed on the bedside table.  

“What’s got you so smiley?” he asks with one of his own.

You shake your head as you reply, “Nothing. I’m just happy I saw Soonyoung and Jiwoo.”

“I’m glad you saw them too. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

You hum in response, suddenly remembering a conversation you had. “You know, Jess asked me who you were there with.” 

“Figures,” he shrugs before laughing a little.“How much did she hesitate before asking you?” 

“Looked like she was holding it in for a little bit. Don’t blame her, though. She probably thought we ended it in epic teenage fashion.” 

He snorts at that, “Probably would’ve if you didn’t talk some sense into me.”

“Probably would’ve if you didn’t trust me like you did,” you crane your neck to look at him. 

“Glad I wasn’t that far gone,” he whispers, a faraway look in his eyes despite looking directly at you. “Haven’t doubted us ever since.”

There’s that warm feeling that spreads throughout your body, an overwhelming feeling of contentment coming over you. There was nothing, nothing, that could convince you to be anywhere else, especially anywhere that wasn’t in his arms. 

“Sometimes…well, a lot of the times, I think about us,” you start. “I thought us hitting six months was enough to tell me I’d be with you forever.” 

He smiles at the thought of high school you, starry-eyed, awkward little kids. He remembers the way you blushed when he kissed you for the first time in front of the whole school, the heat that had risen to his own face at the time. 

“And then we hit a year, and then two years,” you remember every surprise for every anniversary, from when you’d collect your allowance for weeks to get him something he’d like. 

“And then college happened. I tried being so positive, but I had never been more scared for us. I hope we never have to go through something that hard ever again.” You almost sound like a child not wanting to go to the doctor’s office, but with the way you feel yourself tighten your grip around him, you don’t think it’s any different. 

You can feel your eyes begin to well, and your voice begins to shake. It was nearly comical how quickly the smiles were turning into sentimental tears. 

Seungcheol places a kiss on your lips, and you know it was meant to be reassuring, but it only wrenches open the floodgates. The tears begin to make their way down your face, sniffles muffled as you go back to burying your face in his chest, his shirt soaking the wetness. You can feel a rumble in his chest as he laughs at your state. He’s also squeezing up your sides and placing kisses in any place he can reach. 

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” you murmur into his shirt. 

“It’s okay. Today was very reflective,” he reassures, letting you stay hidden. 

“I just—” you sniff. “I just wanna stay happy like this all the time.” 

It’s only then that he guides your stained face away from his shirt to bring you to look at him, wiping the remnants of your tears as you try to keep the fresh ones at bay. “We’ll be happy, even when we’re sad. I can’t not be happy when I know I have you. I love you too much for that.”

“I love you,” you whisper into his lips, arms around his neck as you pull yourself to him, chest to chest. You kiss him properly, pecking him a few times to have your fill. 

And then he’s pulling away, ever so slightly to bring a bare millimeter of gap between your lips. His hands burn where they rest, one on your waist, one on your thigh. He’s breathing hard. Both of you are. 

“I’m gonna say something so not fit for right now,” he breathes.

You can’t help but freeze in his hold as you register his words, hesitating before you ask. “What?”

“Marry me.” 

It comes out as the same whisper, directly into your lips as he utters the words. Like he was keeping a secret from the walls and the furniture, like they were only meant for you; because they were only meant for you. Your heart stops, and you vaguely wonder if you’re breathing at all. 

“I—” he takes a long, shaky breath from his nose. “I was supposed to do this a little differently, but…”

You watch him reach over into his bedside drawer, the one you never touch, and bring out the smallest velvet box. Opening it reveals the prettiest, most delicate diamond you’ve ever seen, the jewel glinting and sparkling even in the dim bedroom lights. 

That’s when you let out a tiny gasp, feeling the tears return, dripping down your face one after the other. “Choi Seuncheol, you bitch.”

You’re sobbing at this point, and it has him sitting up straighter, leaving the box to the side as he lurches for you when you pull away. 

“Wait, fuck, sorry, I thought,” he exhales in frustration, hands trying to pull yours away from your face as you cry into your hands. He sounds desperate. “I got carried away, I don’t know what I was thinking—”

“No, it’s not that,” you finally manage through hiccups. 

“Yes, of course, I’ll marry you, I’m just fucking emotional.” 

You hear him laugh again, no doubt out of pure relief, as he nearly doubles over at the situation. 

You’re a little calmer as you continue to sniffle, watching him with a half-disgruntled, half-amused expression, “Put it on, stupid, or do I need to cry again for you to do that.”

You don’t need to tell him twice as he slips the ring on your finger, the perfect fit, the perfect jewel, the perfect ring. 

Bringing him closer, you kiss him again, lips pressed hard on his as you try to communicate every last emotion into it. You’re out of words, and you hope he knows what you're feeling. You know he knows; he always knows. 

He’s reciprocating with the same vigor, arms coming up to wrap around you so tight it pushes you flush against his body. He nips at your lip, running his tongue over it for good measure before letting it enter your mouth. You let him take the lead, let him guide you through every motion, every step forward. 

You’re putty when he pulls off your clothes for you, feeling your heart scream in protest whenever he pulls away to get rid of the obstructions. Your emotions were in a delicate place, and you suddenly couldn’t handle not being able to feel him against you consistently. 

He does well to make it quick, moving back on top of you to occupy your mouth once more. He tries to migrate lower, latching onto your neck to continue his ministrations there, but you don’t let him as you pull his face back to yours again.

“I love you,” you whisper against his mouth before latching onto his lips.

He lets out a low grunt, pulling away for breath as he whispers it back, “I love you more.”

If you won’t let his mouth move, you let his hands do whatever they wish, feeling them move lower against your sides to reach your hips. His thumbs draw circles on them as he slowly moves his hands to where you can feel the arousal grow. 

His fingers hit your bare heat as he plunges them into your folds, encasing your clit between his fingers. He drags them up slowly before moving back down, all the way to your now sopping hole to brush against the opening. 

You sigh against his lips as he pushes his finger in slowly, lips releasing yours as you throw your head back to feel his digit around your walls. He pushes a second one in without hesitation, and you know he’s just as desperate as you right now. 

He’s only two fingers deep, and yet you feel yourself beginning to come undone. He always knew what to do when he wanted to stretch you out faster, always knew what to do when he wanted to draw the pleasure out, keep you writhing for hours. 

Right now was different; it felt like he was holding himself back to the point where it was almost painful. If he wasn’t worried about the stretch, he would’ve buried himself inside you already, and yet, when he feels you clench undeniably hard around his fingers as you orgasm, he feels like he might’ve cum himself. 

His low moans echo off the walls with your louder, more desperate ones, riding out your high as you feel him bring his other hand up to rub your clit in fast circles, making the pleasure last. Coming down from your high, you feel him pause for a moment as he peppers kisses on your face, down your jaw and neck, finally coming to press his lips against yours. 

“You okay?” 

You nod in response, already grasping at his boxers to yank them down. Despite having just orgasmed, the satisfaction is yet to come, needing to feel him inside you before you combusted entirely. 

He helps as he discards himself of the final obstruction, letting you stroke his painfully hard member in your hands. The face he makes is heavenly as you watch him feel your hands wrapped around him. The impatience takes over as he finally removes your hands, instead pinning them beside your head as he guides himself to your entrance. 

Seungcheol goes back to planting himself onto you entirely, knowing exactly what you wanted from him, needing to feel him against you so flush and tight. He lets you wrap your hands around his neck as he finally begins to push himself into you, letting his tip graze the beginning of your entrance. 

He breathes into your neck in deep, deep exhales, trying so hard not to cum before he’s even entered you entirely. He takes his time pushing into you, focusing on your fingers as they play with his hair, your palms running down his shoulder blades in a pathway. He closes his eyes as he sheaths himself in you completely, continuing his steady breaths to not come undone before you. 

He begins to move when he feels like he’s gotten a hold of his bearings, feeling you hold onto him as he starts thrusting into your cunt. The sounds you make are bliss; the feeling of every inch of your skin on his is making him lose his already lost mind. 

Your arms drop when they can’t hold onto him any longer, your hands remaining on him regardless, in some way or the other. Seungcheol takes hold of your hand, emerging from the crook of your neck to bring it to his mouth. He kisses it, your palms, the back of your hand, your fingers, directly over the rock he slipped on you himself. 

The tenderness of his actions makes your brain rattle against your skull, the building feeling in your abdomen coming so close to collapsing into release. You find yourself pushing yourself up on your elbows, face finding the crook of his shoulder as you push yourself back into him when pulled back in the slightest. 

You’re so close now, so, so close. “Cheol,”

“I know, darling. Cum for me, baby, I’ve got you, I’ve always got you.”

You release to the sound of his voice, the words that tumble from his desperate mouth, the feeling of his own cum shooting inside your spent walls. He continues to thrust into you as you both let out the loudest moans of the night, letting yourself get wrapped up in the feeling of each other before you lose your peak. 

You register nothing as you feel him drop his weight on top of you, letting the moment pass. 

Despite having had nights rougher, more lengthy than this, you somehow feel more spent than you have at the end of any of those escapades. The answer comes to you in the few minutes it takes for you both to catch your breath, Cheol being just as fatigued as you despite his athlete stamina. 

You feel him continue to press his lips onto your skin, letting you do the same to him in between kisses. Neither of you speak for another few minutes, letting the heaviness of your hearts come forth in the showers of love you seem to want to give each other. 

He’s grasping your left hand, toying with the ring fitted there. “I can’t wait to spend forever with you.” 

A picture of the both of you hangs on the wall in your bedroom, dim yet decipherable in the low lights. There’s a moment where you have a flash of that same photo on multiple different walls. Different shades of neutral, in different rooms in different houses. It’s the same picture. 

You think of what forever might hold for the both of you, separately and together. You let the prospect of every step, every change, and every milestone wash over you in waves that keep coming, crashing back to feed into another. 

Change, you rehearse. There had been lots of it, and yet you had merely scratched the surface of what life was about to throw at you. You knew that, Seungcheol knew that. But you found yourself, in that moment, convinced in entirety that change is good, whether it feels good or bad. 

Distance makes the heart grow fonder; you didn't realize the meaning of the phrase until you had to live apart from the love of your life. Painful, difficult, sometimes agonizing, yet also necessary, you conclude. You wonder if your love would ever have grown this deep if you hadn’t felt life without each other. 

You think of how far you’ve come, how you’ve grown with each other. There was an encompassing of gratefulness that came with every step you had taken, and with every step you would take henceforth, you knew that for certain. 

Perhaps you would find yourself voicing these emotional thoughts to him, but not now. The unspoken was louder than anything you could say. 

“I can’t wait to spend forever with you, too.”

taglist (strikthru could not be tagged): @rubyreduji @vampirexlotita @simqly-yunjin @tomodachiii

#seventeen #seventeen fluff #seventeen smut #seventeen imagines #seungcheol fluff #seuncheol smut #seungcheol imagines #seungcheol scenarios #seungcheol x reader #seungchel angst #scoups #svt #svt smut #em.writes

[maeumi-jng]

can't stop me.

pairing: enhypen x gn!reader

synopsis: when they tell you they like you and you respond with "can't you stop?" because you're scared to be in a relationship.

warnings: fluff, angsty-ish?, poor humour, skinship

library: enhypen bookshelf

author's note: i got this idea after reading a dialogue prompt and i thought it would work in the world of idols!

heeseung

can't tell if he's dreaming or not– he blinked at you, unable to decipher reality. his eyebrows are scrunched while an incredulous expression falls overs his face. "what do you mean, 'can't you stop?'" this was ludicrous. the strangest thing he had ever heard.

you gave him a pointed look. "you know what i mean."

heeseung poked the inside of his cheek with his tongue. "of course, i can't stop." what a stupid thing of you to say. any hope he had was deflating. his shoulders were slumped and his happy demeanour was fading. he folds his arms before taking a deep breath. "why would i want to stop? i like you. a lot. i don't think i would ever want to stop."

jeez, okay, poet heeseung. "b-but what about your company? your fans?" you asked nervously.

he tilted his head and let out a sigh of relief. he thought you were meaning something else entirely. he stretched his arms and brought them around you, enveloping you into a warm, comforting hug. "real fans will love you. and as for the company, i'll make sure they protect you, okay? no one will invade you or your life, i promise."

your heart warmed at his words. he cared... so much. you held him tighter, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "i love you, hee."

"i love you too, sweetheart."

jongseong

he's the only logical and calm member– he would be like, "okay."

and you would blinked, taken aback. because like what? you weren't expecting the response. you were just trying to offset his feelings because dating someone like jay, as amazing it could be, was a huge risk and step for you. but this was... what you wanted right?

you twiddled your fingers, nodding slowly. "okay then..." you awkwardly said.

to your shock, jay grabbed your hands gently and met your eyes earnestly. "if that's what you want, then i'll respect that. but if it's because you're scared, then i promise i'll do whatever it takes and however long it takes to make you feel safe."

you widened your eyes at his words, feeling small tears line your waterline. how on earth had you been so lucky to meet him out of all the people in the world... you will never know. but you couldn't let the conversation end like this. "jay..." you called softly.

jay hummed in response, mind already busy with what he needs to do.

"i really really like you too," you confessed.

jay paused his pondering. he couldn't believe his ears. you had given it a chance. a wide smile finally spread onto his face and for a moment, all the worry in the world had disappeared into the air. he squeezed your hand after bringing a small kiss to the back of it.

in the end.... a respectful king.

jaeyun

this man is already so clingy. hearing something like this would break his heart! :(

jake wouldn't even understand what you mean and would just get clingier. his eyes would be round with worry and searching your own, his hands would already be out to reach yours. "i... i–what you do you mean? i can't just stop. not when i like you so much. did i," he cleared his throat, "did i do something, perhaps? just tell me and i'll fix it."

you chewed your lip nervously. he was already breaking all the walls you had built up for this conversation. "jake," you whined softly, swinging his hands. "you're making this really hard."

"making what hard, sweetheart? what's going on in that pretty head of yours?" jake queried gently, tucking a tress behind your hair.

christ.

"i'm terrified," you blurted. you took in a sharp breath upon seeing a bit of confusion enter jake's puppy browns. still playing with his fingers, "i just... it's going to be so difficult. us i mean. you're you and i... i'm me. we're so different and the world–"

finally it clicked for jake.

"oh baby," he cooed, bringing you into a tight hug. as he rubbed your back gently, he said, "even if the world was against us, i would be happy that it's you and me in the end. we'll get through anything if it comes up... together, hmm?"

soft cries in the audience for jake ♡︎

sunghoon

bro, if jake didn't understand, this guy is the definition of not understanding.

not only did sunghoon not get it, he refused your answer! "no. i can't stop and i won't. i don't care," he said with the most indifferent tone.

all your worry is put on hold for a brief moment. you blankly look at him. "i... what?" it was all you could say after being so dumbfounded.

"why? why do you want me to stop?" sunghoon asked, hands resting on his hip.

you sucked in a sharp breath. you didn't like where this conversation was going. sunghoon was beginning to sound like your mother and you were slowly slipping into trouble. your eyes darted around your surroundings. "uh, because i don't like you...?"

now sunghoon is like ????????? what's with the question mark at the end?

sunghoon raised a brow, putting his hands on either side of your arms. he looked you dead in the eye. "okay... now tell me that while looking me in the eye."

oh... fuck.

you forcefully planted your eyes onto his. "i... i don't like you," you affirmed with a small nod to hopefully get sunghoon to buy your poorly made lie.

sunghoon was now the one with a blank expression. "you know when you lie, you chew your cheek? you've done it twice now. and you won't me to believe you?"

"sunghoon!" you cried out of frustration. "stop making this harder than it needs to be!"

"that's on you, not me," sunghoon shrugged. you were officially considering smacking him in the head.

"oh my god... do you even really like me, you big phony?" you queried incredulously.

sunghoon dropped his antics and sent you a genuine smile. "more than you'll ever know. so don't be scared and let's face this together, hmm?"

seonwoo

no seonwoo :( he's so sulky and pouty. worse than jake if we're being real.

"ah, what are you talking about? i just told you i liked you! how can i stop?!" he argued, folding his arms and mending his brows in the only way he knew how to express his anger.

you open your mouth to respond but he continues to talk. seonwoo's hands begin to start flailing about. "also why would i stop? how?! you're so... likeable. gosh, everything is so good about you! you're so pretty, so funny, so smart, so talented... and you want me to stop? okay. fine. how about you stop bring pretty and good at everything? hmm? stop making me feel things and making me blush! how about that? huh?"

seonwoo, by now, has run out of steam. he's heavily breathing while lowkey glaring at you for suggesting something so stupid.

and you stand in front of him like, 0_0.

"seonwoo," you started, "i-i just meant... i'm scared for us because of your fans. and i worry for you. i know how you get when there's hate. you pretend it doesn't affect you but you're hurt, which is totally fine but that terrifies and hurts me too. i just wish you shared your problems with me if you felt comfortable enough to."

seonwoo's shoulder dropped at your words. he pursed his lips "oh."

you winced, feeling like you had made things too serious.

"ohhhhhh, that makes sense," he chirped, clapping his ands.

eh? all of a sudden?

seonwoo took a deep breath, calming himself down. he grabbed your hands, covering it with his own. "first of all, i'm so so sorry for worrying you. i promise you, i'll tell you how i'm feeling, hmm? and the fans... who cares? we don't need to care about anyone. just you and me."

jungwon

as the leader, he's used to being put in situations and having to adjust. but this... this puts jungwon off entirely.

because what are you talking about? he had worked up so much courage to tell you he liked you and you were telling him to just stop.

jungwon blinked, trying to process your words. he pressed his lips together, making his dimples pop out. he scratched his forehead. "so let me get this straight... tell me if i'm wrong. but you want me to stop like you? is that right? after i told you i liked you? are... are you okay? are you sick? do you need medicine?"

as humorous as the latter sounded, jungwon was entirely serious. his hand was raised to your forehead, feeling for your temperature. raising a brow, he said, "you don't feel hot..."

"jungwon," you blankly said, hand still on your forehead, "i am perfectly fine," you assured him.

jungwon removed his hand, falling into deeper thought. "then why? i mean, i could try but i'd fail because all i do is think about you. if i'm being honest, trying to stop liking you would be unrealistic and far too difficult for me. and in the most non-offensive way, i think you're lying. this isn't something you want. i know that because i know you like me too."

ah jungwon... always so straightforward. even now, he was making your cheeks flush.

jungwon shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "and if you're scared... i understand."

you lifted your head, eyes widening.

jungwon nodded to himself, realising he had hit the nail on it's head. "i'll give you space, if that's what you want. but i wish you would let me comfort you in these times. i would like to work through these problems with you. i would fight for you in a heartbeat."

jungwonnie ahhhhhh ♡︎

riki

maybe surprising, but despite being the youngest, he's probably the one who understands the most. he's still stubborn, don't get me wrong, but he knows exactly where you're coming from.

his entire career, from the moment he stepped onto i-land, people viewed him strangely. the boy from japan in korea or they saw him in a way that was unbecoming and made him comfortable. his experience with fans was always bittersweet. some enjoyed him for who he was while others were asking marry him when he was still a minor.

either way, riki stands by you like a rock. well, figuratively. he was actually currently sitting beside you in a park. "i'm not going to stop liking you, so you can stop trying to convince me. i'm going to stick by you. what do they say... through thick and thin? for better or for worse... in sickness and health? i'm going to draw boundaries for everyone so don't you worry about those 'fans.'"

at your silence, he turned to you, eye widening upon seeing the unshed tears in your waterline. that was not what he was going. quickly, he stood up from his seat and bent down in front of you. he held one of your hands and used his other to hold your face. "oh my god, i didn't mean to make you cry. i'm so sorry! please, stop. i don't like seeing you cry, especially because of me."

riki furrowed his brows upon hearing you laugh lightly and your body shake. he ducked his head further, trying to get a clear glimpse of your face. "i... you're laughing?" he asked incredulously.

you chuckled softly, putting both of your hands on his face. "riki, you idiot... i'm crying out of happiness. you're so sweet!"

riki's cheeks burned under your hands. he raised a brow, "me? sweet?" he questioned. he shrugged. "i mean i guess i am?" he said nonchalantly, making you hit him playfully.

he smiled, relieved to see you happy once again.

niki 🥹

© maeumi-jng | do not copy, post (repost is fine!) or translate anywhere else! thank you ♡︎ requests here!

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