Angus really did have a big day on the Day of Story and Song. Like, first the Director had some shady shit going on with the Relic disposal chamber, then a strange man hops out of Taako's bag whom Taako and Merle claim said the Bureau is bad, then there's the discovery of the baby voidfish, then the Director has guards take them to a room where she is kneeling over the balls that had contained the Relics and is channeling energy out of the undestroyed bell into her staff, then she talks mad shit about coming from another reality with tres horny bois, the guy whose name is Barry, and some person named Lup who is dead(?) while Taako and Merle are trying to keep their heads from exploding, then Davenport can actually talk and was captain of this past mission this whole time, then Magnus comes barging in and he can see the absolute chaos of the apocalypse outside, so he tries to barracade the door while the others are going down memory lane, then the others start debating about leaving everyone to the forces outside versus putting up a shield that would still end up destroying the world in a manner that suggests they've had this argument exhaustively before, then they get attacked and BOOM a lich comes out of Taako's umbrella who is apparently Lup who is apparently his sister, then Lucretia disappears and Davenport wants him to help find her even though he still has no clear idea of what the fuck is happening, then he hears the story and song and suddenly gains the knowledge of their 100 year journey and the impending end of the world, then he meets up with the others again when he and Davenport can't find her only to find Lucas is also not dead, then Lucretia turns up, a crystal shows them a possible future, and Taako knew the answer to save everything all along, then he's expected to help fight against a world ending evil force, and then FINALLY they defeat the Hunger, and he's got time to process the absolute wild day he just had.
And just like, I feel like probably around the time he found out Lucas was still alive he was just like:
Magnus nearly tripped up the stairs when someone pounded at his door. He had to reach for the railing to catch himself just in time, his head spinning in an uncomfortable way. He had just been going to bed, but, well, not anymore he supposed. There was second, more aggressive round of knocks.
"Magnus," a voice said from the other side of the door. "I swear to Gods if you don't answer this door I will magic missile it down!"
"Uhm, ma'am, maybe threatening violence isn't the best idea-"
"He deserves it if he's already asleep. Humans are weak. No offense." the voice got louder again. "Count of ten, Mags!" Another thunderous round of knocks. Magnus hurried to open the door and Lup's fist nearly collided with his face.
It was dark outside, which was understandable considering it was... well, Magnus didn't know the exact time, but it was probably pretty deep into the night. The porch lights around the rest of the cul-de-sac were off with the exception of Lup and Taako's weird joint house. Magnus could see that the window into their living room was still lit up.
Magnus supposed that made sense since Lup was right in front of him. She was still fully dressed and, concerningly, fully covered in blood. Cowering behind Lup's body a bit was Angus McDonald, who looked halfway between pissed off and like he'd rather be anywhere else. Two emotions Magnus knew quite well when it came to his family.
"Oh, good, you're awake," Lup said, inviting herself in. Angus trailed behind her, sullen. Magnus waited until they had shuffled further in to close the door. Lup deposited Angus onto the couch.
"I-" she began and then paused. "What're you wearing?"
Magnus looked down at this shirt, with two hands pointing up at his face with the words "THIS GUY IS MAGNUS BURNSIDES' BIGGEST FAN". Notably, he was also only wearing underwear. Underwear with little ducks on it.
"This is what I sleep in," Magnus said defensively.
"We can- I'm gonna circle back to that after," Lup said. "Do you want a kid?"
"Do I... what?"
"See, he doesn't want an almost teenager!" Angus piped up from the couch. Magnus felt like he was missing half of this conversation. Maybe even three-fourths of it. "In fact, I'm pretty sure I don't want a Magnus, either, Miss Lup, so I think I should be going now-"
Angus tried to stand up, but Lup pushed him back onto the couch.
"I will magically restrain you," she said seriously. To Magnus, she continued, "Do you want a kid? 'Cus no offense to like, Taako and Kravitz, but I don't think they know how kids work. I saw Kravitz talk to a baby like he talks to Barry, which is concerning in a several different ways. And considering I just got my body back after like, seven bazillion years of not having one, I am not ready to be a parent. Dav's not around enough for it, Merle's got his own lil' shitheads, and, uh, Lucretia..."
"Director Lucretia is very nice," Agnus said. "But she also offered me wine during my entrance interview. And laughed when I fell down one time."
"So between the guy who through his off a train, the women who decided it would a good idea to hire a ten-year-old without asking about his background, and, y'know, me and Barry, I think you're the most qualified."
"Hang on," Magnus said, rubbing his eyes. "Okay, recap. Angus needs an adult why? Doesn't he have a grandpa?"
"Everyone has a grandpa, sir, biologically," Angus said.
"Magnus," Lup said. "I'm gonna break this down real simple for you because, T-B-H, it's been a fucking stressful night and I don't want Angus to have to go through it all again-"
"I think I can explain it pretty well, ma'am-"
"He doesn't have anyone," Lup stressed. "No grandpa, no parents, no friends or some shit-"
"Nothing," Lup continued. "And as much it pains me to say this, you are our next best option in terms of giving a child what they need to sort of kind of thrive instead of just, y'know, living on the streets."
"I wasn't on the streets!" Angus defended. "I have an apartment!"
"Your heater doesn't work," Lup said.
"It's summer," Angus said. "I don't need a heater." To Magnus, he said, "sir, please make her reconsider! I was doing perfectly fine and everything. I almost have enough for rent this month too, so it's fine! And I'm a terrible roommate, to be honest, sir. I think it'd be better for everyone if Miss Lup would just take me home and I can shower and then go to bed because I am a very little boy and it's very past my bedtime, sir."
Angus blinked innocently up at him.
"We found him in the middle of a cult, Mags," Lup said. "A cult."
Magnus had never seen Angus's look go from completely innocent to pissed off so quickly. But he kept his mouth shut and glared at Lup from behind her back. Magnus took a moment to take a good look at Angus now that he could. He, too, was pretty bloody. He was cradling his hand in a way that made Magnus think it was hurt somehow. And he was small. So small. Magnus was reminded of a puppy he saw the other day, if only the puppy was full of prepubescent rage and covered in necromancer blood. At least, Magnus hoped it was necromancer blood and not his own.
"You can stay for the night," Magnus said. "I'll give you a pajama shirt and we'll get you to set up in the guest room, okay? The rest of this-" he gestured to Lup and Angus as a whole, "can wait until tomorrow. I am so ready to pass out for seven to eight hours."
"But I'm going back to my apartment tomorrow," Angus said. "Right, sir? Ma'am?"
"That's a convo for tomorrow," Magnus said before Lup could answer. Both Lup and Angus scoffed, but neither objected any further, which Magnus considered a win. "C'mon. I've got like, a hundred of these shirts."
"I'll get you one of Barry's," Lup said quickly. She held out a hand and her scythe appeared. "Don't let him trick you into that, Angus. I'll be right back."
She cut a rift in the middle of Magnus's living room and stepped through. It closed behind her with a loud zipping noise. Angus glanced at Magnus with a critical eye.
"Would it make her more upset if I took one of your shirts?" he asked after a few tense moments of Magnus not knowing how to react to what he liked to call "Angus's Detective Look".
"Definitely," Magnus said. "I'll go get you one." Angus grinned.
Guess he had a kid now.