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salaciouscrumbb · 2 years

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straight men are so fragile, my dad's out here shocked to see ryan seacrest in a shorts suit. imagine if i showed him any of the recent lee pace photos.

#i am curious how my floor length rich lady animal print robe reminded him of ryan seacrest tho

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femmefatalevibe · 10 months

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Femme Fatale Guide: Lingerie Essentials Every Women Should Own

Simple everyday bra and underwear sets in black and nude that match your skin tone: Think of items like a lined bra and seamless thong/bikini panty set. My favorites are the SKIMS Fits Everybody Push-Up Bra paired with the matching Fits Everybody Thong and the Natori Feathers bra paired with the Natori French Cut Briefs.

Sexy yet practical bra and underwear sets: Sexier options you can still wear every day and look good under your clothes. Consider an all-lace or animal print bra with coordinating all-lace or sheer underwear – love the bra options from Chantelle, Natori, Cosabella, and Simone Perele (these are pricey, so I look for them on sale) paired with Natori or Cosabella underwear. My favorite styles are the Natori Push-Up bras (I'm super flat-chested, so I need it for my clothes to fit properly, lol – otherwise the Natori Flora Contour Underwire Bra is stunning) with the Cosabella Never Say Never Comfie Thong & Natori Bliss Allure Lace Full Brief.

Ultra-sexy bra and underwear sets: Less so for clothes, more for yourself or for show. I love Fleur Du Mal for these bra/underwear lingerie sets.

Strapless bra: Natori Feather Strapless Bra. Thank me later!!

Lace bralette: Something comfortable that still feels a bit sexy. I love the options from Journelle, Cosabella, and Natori.

Satin/silk robe: To wear after the shower or around the house. Lilysilk, Victoria's Secret, Cosabella, and Fleur Du Mal have great options.

A quality pair of black tights: I love HUE and Wolford! The control top ones always feel the best for me, personally.

Sheer black thigh-highs with lace-stay-up detailing: Natori Feather range ftw yet again!

Sheer black tights with or without back seam detailing: Hue and Wolford, always!

Simple bodysuit/shapewear bodysuit: The SKIMS ones are great.

Elevated shapewear bodysuit (in a fabric like satin, lace, or vegan leather): I love the Spanx Shaping Satin Thong Bodysuit and the Commando Faux Leather bodysuit – perfect to wear with a pair of jeans and a blazer.

High-waisted sculpting underwear: SKIMS Seamless Sculpt is my favorite (runs on the smaller side!)

Satin slip dress: Can be worn at home or with a blazer/leather jacket for a night out.

Fully lace or lace trim slip dress: If wearing it alone could run someone's life, you're doing it right. Love the one from Cosabella. If you want to wear it out, try a vegan leather bralette, an opaque black brief, and lace or sheer black tights for a "naked" dress look or black pants/denim for a night-out look. Otherwise, save this one to feel sexy while relaxing at home or to wow a partner any night of the week. If you want some ultra-glamorous options, I suggest checking out Oséree but their items are $$$$ as a fair warning.

Satin/silk cami & shorts or pants set: For some equally comfortable and sexy loungewear or pajama options. I love styles with lace trim for that added feminine touch.

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celestemagnoliathewriter · 6 months

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Sirius Black Appreciation Post

Time to celebrate Sirius Black's birthday by highlighting my favorite canon facts 🥳

Sirius is tall. We're talking at least 6'.

He's intelligent AF. He became an Animagus at 15. He charmed a Muggle motorbike to fly (Arthur couldn't do that with a car, Sirius did it in his late teens, latest at age 20). He escaped from Azkaban. He got a cat to order a racing broom. My man is brilliant, no doubt about it.

Sirius has a complicated relationship with his mother and it is *not* merely hatred. Note that he did not destroy his mother's portrait, or slash it as he did with the Fat Lady's. I'm confident that he could've figured out a way to destroy it or otherwise get rid of it, but he doesn't. His refuge is in his mother's old room with Buckbeak. There's something very complicated in his relationship with his family that can't be labeled as simple loathing. Sirius may have run away from home at 15/16, but his background 100% shaped him and left its mark on his personality and psyche.

Sirius was good friends with Lily. The letter from Lily to Sirius is great proof of that - it wasn't James who wrote that letter, but LILY. Sirius was smiling and genuinely happy at Jily's wedding.

Sirius is emotionally driven, and lashes out *with good reason.* When he goes after Wormtail the night the Potters died, it's because Harry is taken away from him. He has nothing to hold him down - and even gives his motorbike to Hagrid. When he tries to get to Wormtail in PoA, he slashes the portrait but doesn't harm a single boy in his search for the rat. When he goes to the Department of Mysteries, his focus is on Harry. These are good reasons, even if it puts him in danger.

Sirius has a great sense of humor. He puts little Santa hats on the decapitated elf heads. He chases pigeons as Padfoot just to make Harry smile. He sends a good luck note with a muddy paw print. He is scathingly funny, when he derides Peter's hero worship of James in Snape's Worst Memory. He's bitter and sarcastic. We love to see it.

Sirius is a baby boomer. He was born in 1959. "Ok, boomer," is an applicable retort.

Sirius is not misogynistic. He does not hate women. He is often kinder to women than men. He helps Ginny up in OoTP. No matter how angry he gets at Molly, he is never, ever physical with her (unlike the way Sirius is with snape, who he does get physically aggressive with). He is kind to Hermione. He had a great relationship with Lily. Even in the end, his last words to Bellatrix are 'you can do better than that.'

Sirius does not have a canonical love interest.

Sirius is willing to challenge Dumbledore. This is an important point - with so many people deferring to Dumbledore's judgment, including Remus, the Weasleys, and Harry - Sirius will challenge him and his decisions. He may not get his way, but Sirius has the personal strength and confidence to challenge one of the greatest wizards of all time.

Sirius was great with animals. Crookshanks and Buckbeak are prime examples of this.

Sirius is deeply flawed: he can get very intense. He can be rash, even if he has good reasons. He can be bitter to the point of hurting others ('the risk would've made it fun for James'). He can be cruel and condescending (my robes have enough filth without you touching them/wormail will piss himself with excitement). He can be callous (wishing it was the full moon, sending Snape on a potentially deadly adventure). He's a hurricane of deep, complex emotions.

Canon Sirius would obliterate fanon Sirius.

Happy birthday, Sirius. You would've loved James Sirius, Albus Severus, and Lily Luna. You'd have had the time of your life at Hinny's wedding. You are an absolute king.

#sirius black #sirius orion black #happy birthday sirius #tall sirius black #the marauders #marauders era #james potter #peter pettigrew #remus lupin #harry potter

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rinnieitoshi · 6 months

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Blue lock boys during No nut November!

Shidou, Nagi, Rin, Isagi

Shidou

-would fail the first minute in during NNN, November 1 (12:01 am)

-He was already drilling you that night.

-"Shidou you just lost NNN", "don't care gotta put my babies in ya"

Rin

-His sex drive isn't that much so he doesn't masturbate alot (probably just when he misses you)

-he doesn't really care about NNN, he just loves seeing you participate and do all those things to turn him on.

-You tease him alot, by intentionally dropping your body towel, removing your robe infront of him, making meals while only wearing an apron and nothing else, and changing infront of him.

-By the time this man had enough he pins you down and teases you before drills his cock in you.

Isagi

-this boy's reaction is so cute.

-You try touching his thighs the other night and he stands up because he "forgot" to do something.

-bro is really trying hard to succeed because his teammates won't stop teasing him of last month's NNN.

-He gets rid of his boner by re-watching his games on CD but there you are in front of him wearing a cow printed lingerie as you sat on his lap.

-He lost.

Nagi

-the only one who will surely survive NNN.

-the whole month he's either sleeping or training.

-He won't talk to you for sure, he's on his game and you know that Nagi is always like this during November so you also try your best (but fail LMFAO)

-That one time you heard him came home and got out of the bathroom in cosplay, his anime waifu but found a sleeping Nagi in your shared bed.

-would fuck you after November tho, no condoms, raw and definitely he'll be too lazy to pull it out.

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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 4 months

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Hi hi! Have you seen the new Rook and Jade cards?

TWST REALLY SAID HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR (they dropped these card designs when it was still Christmas day in my time zone www) 🤡 IMAGINE THE PURE DISTRESS AND TERROR I FELT WHEN I SAW THE NEWS FOR THE FIRST TIME, I ALMOST CHOKED ON MY BREAKfAST The New Year Attire card artwork looks fantastic this year!! zs,j bdhjvkas3t77135f38odwOYdtSIvyiadiyisa I THINK THE tHIRD ANON SAID IT BEST, TREY, ROOK, AND JADE LOOK LIKE YAKUZA DRESSED NICELY TO USHER IN THE NEW YEAR 😭 and Ortho's there to be their cute and innocent errand boy nephew (when in reality he's committing just as many crimes as they are); I KNOW this kid's not above pulling out a laser beam and threatening people to get what he wants.

Trey finally gets another event SSR (man deserves it after like 4 Rs OTL) and not gonna lie, he kinda looks like my grandpa in that outfit... I really like the pattern on his rose print scarf and the flowerpiece though; you can also see the classic Heartslabyul solid sleeve-checkered sleeve combo. The parasol he's holding is nice too, it makes me think about him whimsically twirling it around as he walks through confetti.

This isn't one of my favorite looks for Ortho, but again I really appreciate how the designers and artists used their creativity to reinterpret the traditional NY garb into robotic parts! You can tell Ortho's "clothes" are more blocky and rigid than the others', yet it still retains the festive feel of the line. There seem to be cables and wires attached to the piece pinned to his chest, and, of course, three doggos at his waist to symbolize Cerberus~

Trey and Ortho being on the same banner... It feels like Ortho was dropped off for Trey to babysit, and Trey's the kind old grandpa who dotes on his grandkid.

... Okay, that's enough of being civil 😇

t315751vAUVgddfiyCUvILNDADFFIYAIBFQEOBNABHOACsdaafjkuc??F<>>Mw/q12yft7BLINJZ>?????m,A'PSCPK[QJNsn;nbegquo PLEASE, I'M SCREAMING AND CRYinf aG ON THE GORUNDA RN OTL Of course TWST would release a new Rook SSR not too long after I said Rollo has replaced Rook in my heart as the superior pseudo French anime boy, OF COURSE. WHY DiD THE YM HAVE TO GIVE hiM SUCH A SMYSTERIOSYF SMU g FACE TOO..... . . . ........ . . . .... . . . . AND THAT LIGHTING??//????? ? ?? ? ?hELLO??? ?? ? ?? ? ????? ? GORGEOUS 😭 THE FAN??? ? ?? ? ? ? ?? ? ?? HOW HE's POSED AEJQWHLBIWQ WIHT IT, weL,Ccopmaifn G YOU INTO YHTE SHOP... I'M GOIBNG TO DUCKIUFN G CHEW HSis FINGNERS OFF, HOLD ME BACK BEOFRE I DOn kqw fhgutiuqfvwofueiyviHnsoguewtqtbwipFFQEGFVIVOQE8?>vLM;N;AEGFLQMJEINP I'm not super into Rook's outfit though; the peacock imagery incorporated into his robes and stuck in his hat are kinda... too much for me? The colors are also weirdly blocked out; it looks odd to have the hat as being the one prominent part of the outfit in red. I would have expected... I don't know, more red throughout the entire outfit? BUT IT'S OKAY, ROOK'S FACE STILL LOOKS GOOD AND THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS HERE

ADKJBLBSLiyfiysafvoyvgad8fVEFQGIYUOVBVADLM;vsomjvsM,.38920TH??:vL;,AD'PGDMA'PFSm J WORD, NEW YEAR'S J WORD IS HERE 🤡 I'M SO GLAD HE';S NOT THE SSR, I CAN EAISLYR MAX HIM OUT BLESS YOIU MCIUAHRD MOUSE 🙏 ABSHLDVUYADVOQDWADOLBIPfsp ip BIG FAN, HUGE FAN OF HIS POSE HERE OTL rUBINGNG HIS HANDS TOGETHE R AND BENDING SLIGHTLYT FORWARD, INCLinING HIS HEAD TOWARD YOU...... .. ............ . .... . .. . . . . . . .... I CAN SMELL THE USED CAR SaLESMAN ENERgy COMING OFF OF HIM it's working on me He looks like he's still wearing a suit and threw extra shit on top... THAT'S LITERAELLY THE SAME HAT HE WEARS FOR HIS OCTA dORM UNIFORM, HE JUST SLAPPED ON A DIFFERENT HATbaND ACCESSORY. AND SAME WAY OF weARING THE SCARF, JUST USED A DIFFERNT SCARF THIS TIME

I love the fact that Rook and Jade are on the same banner this was made specifically to target me/j, shady bitches deserve to be next to other shady bitches 🤣 Imagine how much pettiness and fake smiling will be had between them????? ???? ??? ? I’ve been dying for more interactions between these two, so this is really a treat for me!! 😋

To summarize: yeaaaaaah uh my rolls are in trouble come 2024 🪦

#twst #twisted wonderland #Jade Leech #Rook Hunt #Jade Leech thirst #Rook Hunt thirst #Rollo Flamme #Ortho Shroud #Trey Clover #notes from the writing raven #disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #spoilers

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lachlanthesane · 2 years

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Tumblr needs to be made aware of the best Magic the Gathering cards ever printed

So Magic: The Gathering is doing a Secret Lair drop, basically a series of card reprints with new special art.

The cool part about this Secret Lair drop is that it is themed around LGBTQ+ pride.

You can legitimately play a card which features a gay wedding:

Image ID: A Magic the Gathering card called “Savour the Moment”, which features two men kissing each other at their wedding, while a crowd behind them cheers and white doves fly overhead. The card’s flavour text reads “I do”.

You can play cards which feature some of MTG’s canonical gay characters:

Image ID: A Magic the Gathering card called “Heartbeat of Spring”, which features a woman in armour embracing a woman in a robe from behind in a jungle setting. The woman in front is holding a fox, and a raptor-like dinosaur stands behind them. The card’s flavour text reads, ‘“You were right, Ixilan is a paradise”, said Saheeli. “Mostly because you’re here”.’

But the best card in the secret lair, possibly the best MTG card ever printed, is the Bearscape.

Image ID: A Magic the Gathering card called “Bearscape”, which features a number of bears (large, hairy human men) sitting in and around a hot spring. Two of the men in the spring are embracing and appear to be about to kiss, and one man is relaxing in the spring by himself. In the background, outside the hot spring, a man is lying across another man’s lap. In the far background, a brown bear (the animal) is sitting on a rock. The card’s flavour text reads, “They built a refuge with their bear hands.”

(Bonus fun fact: the bearded ginger bear in the front left has top surgery scars!)

#magic the gathering #lgbtq+#gay #pride #lesbian #bear #trans

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deepdreamnights · 3 months

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A friendly wizard and style reference.

Midjourney has just released both the version 6 of its niji anime engine and the first version of its "style reference" tool.

Functionally this is a variation of the image prompting system (explained here), in which breaks a submitted image down into the 'token language' the AI uses internally and uses that as a supplement to a text prompt. "Style Reference" (or 'sref') lets you do this with up to three images, only with only the tokens associated with 'style' being drawn upon.

This is not to be confused with style transfer, a much older and very different AI art process.

But what is a style in this context? And how does it affect generation?

Prompt: a blue axolotl-anthro wizard in a red-and-yellow swirl-pattern robe, holding a sheleighleigh made of purple wood and a potion full of glowing green energy drink. A blue-and-green ladybug familiar stands near his feet, white background, fullbody image

Settings: --niji 6, --style raw --s 50 --seed 1762468963

Here, I've tested the same seed and prompt with a number of reference images.

My semiorganized ramblings under the fold

The first thing I note is that style reference affects the gen so much that same-seed/different style ref comparisons are kind of pointless. Way too much of pose, composition and content changes for it to matter, so for future style ref tests, I'm probably going to drop the seeds.

The second thing I note is that there are certain limitations. You need to change up your prompt for things like photography, and the system interprets styles using its own criteria, not ours. If image prompting misinterprets something, so will style ref, but perhaps not in the same way.

This is notable for the one prompted with a scan from the Nuremberg Chronicle (first row). It recognizes that its a woodcut and emulates that general vibe nicely, but MJ is highly tuned for aesthetics, and emulating real world jank and clumsiness is a weak area. This is literally the first printed (european at least) book with illustrations. Every example thereafter is building on that skillset, so the dataset for woodcuts is going to be largely of a higher apparent quality.

In short, with Midjourney, additional prompt work is needed to replicate the look of early jank or intentionally 'ugly' art styles, and even as recent as v6 I've had no luck with things like midcentury Hanna-Barbereesque cheap TV animation styles or shitty 1990s CGI.

Style reference can help, I've gotten some pretty good cheap 80s-90s TV animation looking stuff from v6 niji and style ref in my early tests:

Color observations: Absent specific requests in the prompt, SREF will stick pretty close to the palette and lighting conditions of the referenced image. With such instructions, you get blending, so the one referencing the okapi fakemon (second row from bottom), for instance, has a lot of colors the reference image doesn't have, but they're in similar in vibrancy and saturation.

One limitation, however, is it doesn't apply to the aspects of the gen that come from any image prompts, so it will always blend the style of the style reference with the style aspects inherited from the image prompt, and that is very strong compared to the style ref.

Using the dog as the image prompt, and the TFTM reformatting as the style prompt, and the text prompt: "a cute older yorkie dog sitting on a bedspread", we get the image on the left. Dropping the image prompt weight to .25 gets us the center option, and removing the image prompt entirely produces the one on the right.

I expect this will be patched eventually, or general image prompting may fall out of favor compared to a combination of style ref and the upcoming character reference option, which will be the same thing, but will only reference the tokens associated with the character in the reference image. Depending on how that works that will have a lot of uses.

Stay tuned for more experiments. There's some good potential for freaky, unexplored aesthetics with combinations of multiple style refs and text prompts.

#ai artwork #style reference #midjourney v6 #nijijourney v6 #generative art #axolotol #wizard #prompt testing #ai experiments

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tamayula-journal · 4 months

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Summary of plush toys making

First of all, I would like to say that in Japan, making plush toys of anime and video game characters is a trend, but it is also criticised by many. There are also many people in Japan who say that it is an infringement of copyright and that it is unacceptable to make plush toys like this for personal use. (Of course, selling these plush toys is a complete taboo in Japan.) Therefore, I would like to declare at the outset that the following instructions for making plush toys are not for the Sebastian or Ominis plush toys, but for the mc plush toys 🤣

Firstly, the full body shape of the plush toy. I used a plushie paper pattern I bought at a handicraft shop, but a Japanese person published a free pattern on Twitter, so I think you can use this to make a human-shaped plushie in the same way! There is also a video by this author in Japanese.

youtube

About face embroidery I made a plush toy in the recently trendy style of attaching and sewing forelock fabric to the face, and this YouTube video was very helpful! The video is in Japanese, but with English subtitles, so it is easy for English speakers to understand.

youtube

About clothes All patterns were based on free publicly available patterns, except the skirt of the female MC Robe(https://booth.pm/ja/items/4991157) Jacket (https://atelier-snow.booth.pm/items/5192559) Shirts (https://booth.pm/ja/items/5233265) Trousers (https://atelier-snow.booth.pm/items/5233130) Waistcoats (https://booth.pm/ja/items/5282282) The authors of the above patterns also publish skirt patterns free of charge.

About Other. The pattern on the jacket and trousers was hand-drawn with a white pen. The tie and dormitory emblem were computer-drawn illustrations printed on postcard-sized printable cloth

Extra Various designs You can change the placement, change the size of the parts, and change anything else you like 🙌 You can add and use whatever you like to make the face you want to make. (Please don't use these designs to make products and sell them on Esty etc.)

I am incredibly bad at sewing, but I managed to make a plush toy. I'm sure there are definitely many people in HL fandom who are better and more dexterous at sewing than me, so I'd love to see other people's creations and share this post and desain 🙌💓 (And if you're good at sewing or handcrafting, please do give me a sneaky tip on how to recreate Sebastian's or Ominis's hair…🤣)

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mistdrake · 14 days

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As a fan of Jason Todd I was so excited that we were getting a new Red Hood mini, especially after he was deeply traumatized during Gotham War. How naive I was to imagine this book would in some way involve Jason healing from that ordeal... Instead it feels like nothing from the past 3 years matters. Also, Killer Croc is some sort of Stereotypical "urban" gangster in the big animal print robe? What happened to Jason and Waylon working together to hunt for Bane? What happened to Jason making it his mission to avenge Alfred? What happened to Bruce messing with his brain chemistry? Instead... We have this... Jason beating up a generic looking monster with Crowbars because Crowbars are a Jason Todd Thing...

#jason todd #red hood #red hood: the hill #Dc comics #dc red hood

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disasterhimbo · 1 month

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[ID: a ten-panel black-and-white comic titled “Julius Caesar, Part 1.” The first six panels are in two sets of three, and the seventh, eighth, and ninth panels are a bit smaller and separated from the first six, centered above the last one, which has no border. All the text is all caps.

Panel 1: Caesar and another Roman are depicted in togas. Caesar has very sharp cheekbones and a very square jaw. Someone off-panel says, “Caesar,” in large letters, and Caesar says “[exclamation mark].”

Panel 2: Caesar asks, “Who calls?” and the Roman behind him says, “A soothsayer.”

Panel 3: the soothsayer, a rather scruffy old man, significantly shorter than Caesar, tells Caesar, “Beware the Ides of March.” Caesar says, “Why? What’s going to happen?”

Panel 4: the soothsayer says, “I… can’t tell you.” Caesar, off-panel, says, How should I dress then.”

Panel 5: the soothsayer says, “I would wear something comfortable, maybe your PJ’s.” Caesar says, “Arrange it,” in large letters to a scribe and another person at the edge of the panel.

Panel 6: the scribe’s clay tablet says, “Wardrobe Schedule. March: feasts, the good laurels. Ides (crossed out text, mostly unreadable but something about a robe), prepare PJs. Battles: killing robes.”

Panel 7: Caesar grimaces and says, “Et tu, Brute? Then fall, Caesar.”

Panel 8: Brutus and another senator are silent for a moment. The other senator is holding a dagger above his head.

Panel 9: the other senator has lowered his dagger and says, “Are those… gladiator pajamas?”

Panel 10: Caesar is laying in a pool of blood. Underneath his toga, he is wearing a two-piece set of pajamas (shorts and a t-shirt), which have a repeating print of gladiators and wild animals, possibly lions.]

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smilingformoney · 4 months

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Sharing Part III | Lionel/Reader/Eli

These two have taken over my brain send help

Now with surprise appearance from Sinclair and Betty!

Read on Ao3 or below the cut:

Apparently luck was on Lionel’s side, because a month or so later - during which time your flirting hadn’t ceased one bit - you were on your way to London.

It wasn’t for the best of reasons - you discovered on Thursday night that your uncle back in England had died and the funeral was on Monday, so you were very suddenly trying to book flights and accommodation at the last minute.

You: Urgent. Cheapest way to get last-minute tickets to London?

Lionel: Are you that desperate for me?

You: Family stuff. Any tips?

Lionel: When do you need to leave?

You: ASAP. Family thing is on Monday.

Lionel: I’ll sort it. Hold tight.

You: My hero ❤️

Less than twelve hours later, you were at the airport with a boarding pass Lionel had emailed to you. He had apologised profusely that you were flying commercial - apparently he had a private jet, because of course he did - but at the very least he’d managed to secure you a business class ticket.

Business class was fancy. You were generously paid by your university - far more than a literature professor should, even if you had a doctorate - but things like flight class upgrades were luxuries you’d never seen the value in.

But you might just change your mind on that. There was no way you could go back to being packed into economy like sardines now that you’d experienced the luxury of business class.

You were almost disappointed when the plane landed in London and you had to get off, but at least your dual nationality meant you could get through immigration quickly with your British passport. Lionel had told you to expect a driver to be waiting, so when you saw a man holding a sign bearing your name, you introduced yourself to him and let him take your bags to the car.

Even the car was a luxury. Lionel had really gone all out for you - but, then again, the man was filthy stinking rich. This was probably the minimum standard for him.

The driver pulled into the underground car park for a fancy-looking building, which you presumed to be your hotel, which was no doubt also very fancy and far too expensive.

He took you and your bags to a lift within the car park and handed you a key, telling you to use it to take you straight to number 69.

You wondered if Lionel had picked that room number intentionally. Probably.

The lift ascended, and you felt extremely out of place. Even the damn lift was fancy! And here you were in your baggy, worn out flying clothes. If anyone saw you, they’d probably think you’d snuck in and try to kick you out.

The lift finally reached its destination and you stepped out directly into the room, which could only be described as an entire apartment. What sort of fancy hotel had direct lift access to the rooms?

Your question was answered when you turned your head and saw the artwork on the wall.

It wasn’t a hotel room at all. It was Lionel’s penthouse.

“Fucking bastard, Lionel,” you muttered under your breath.

“Is that any way to address your host?”

Sure enough, Lionel was descending the stairs, an animal-print robe wrapped loosely around his torso, leaving just enough of a gap that you could see his chest hair poking out.

You’d sworn you’d wait at least to say hello before you jumped him, but… fuck it. You met him at the bottom of the stairs and your lips were on his instantly.

You felt him smiling into the kiss as his arms snaked around your back, one hand cupping your arse. He pushed against you lightly, and you were like putty in his hands, immediately falling back against the wall, allowing him to trap your body against his.

“I hope you don’t mind if I don’t wine and dine you first,” he growled in your ear as your kisses moved up his jawline. “I’ve been waiting far too long to have you.”

“God, no, fuck that. Take me out later. Right now I just need you to take me.”

You could feel his erection pressing up against you, his robe threatening to come apart, and of fucking course he wasn’t wearing any underpants. You grabbed clumsily against his chest as you tried to open his robe, and Lionel chuckled.

“Not here, love. I have quite a comfortable bed I think you’d much prefer over the wall.”

“We could be behind the fucking bins at Taco Bell, I wouldn’t care. I just - just fucking need you, Lionel - fuck, please —“ You muttered your pleas between kisses on his neck, and Lionel moaned when your teeth grazed his skin.

“Ohh, yes, I’ll take you, [Y/n]. You won’t ever want to leave London again - you won’t want to leave my bed again. You’ve entered the lion’s den now, love. Prepare to be… devoured.”

He pulled away from you slightly, causing you to gasp in surprise at the sudden absence of his skin against your lips, and he gestured for you to lead up the stairs.

“Looking for a view of my ass?” you teased.

He smacked your left cheek for that.

“If I want to see your arse, I know you’ll show me. I don’t need to trick you. Here - this room on the left.”

“How many bedrooms do you have?”

“Only five.”

Only?

You always thought your apartment was a bit big for one person. Lionel was one person too, and yet the master bedroom he was leading you into was bigger than your entire apartment.

You’d be disgusted at the obscene wealth if you weren’t so horny.

You were still gaping at the size of the bedroom when Lionel wrapped his arms around you from behind, and you felt his erection pressing into your ass. He slipped one hand into your pants and you gasped at the sudden intrusion as he cupped your pussy with his large hand.

“I’m going to fuck you until you forget how to walk,” he growled in your ear seductively.

“Please,” you begged, throwing your head back onto his shoulder as his fingers began teasing at your folds. His other hand slipped under your t-shirt and grabbed at your breast, causing you to gasp when he squeezed your nipple.

“Gah - fuck - please, Lionel - please fuck me, please, please, please —“

He smirked as he placed a kiss to your jaw.

“Do you not need foreplay? Or is my lioness hungry already?”

“We’ve had months of foreplay, Lionel. I’m done waiting.”

“Mmm… I suppose you’re right. Get naked and get on the bed.”

“Yes, sir.”

You almost stumbled over your own feet to get to the bed and undress at the same time, and Lionel just laughed.

“I knew you’d be eager. That’s why I didn’t bother getting dressed.”

He dropped his robe, and just as you’d suspected, he was stark naked underneath.

“Where are your condoms?” you asked.

“In the drawer.”

You reached over into his bedside cabinet, and stifled a giggle when you saw his box of condoms was right next to a copy of the Karma Sutra.

“There are a lot of fun positions in there we can try,” Lionel said when he saw you looking. He took the condom from you and began to roll it down his shaft. You watched his movements, practically drooling at his cock. “But we’ll experiment later. For now, I want to see your face as I fuck you for the first time.”

Lionel climbed on top of you and kissed you, hard and passionate, as if the only air he could breathe was that from your lungs. Your arms wrapped around his shoulders, clinging onto him desperately, your hips bucking up towards him in a desperate plea.

He unstuck his face from yours, both of you panting for air, and Lionel looked at you with a surprising amount of tenderness.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, and with a swift thrust he slipped inside you.

You both groaned in relief, months of sexual tension finally paying off. He fit perfectly - just the right amount of stretch, and when he bottomed out, you could feel his tip pressing snugly against your G-spot.

He paused once he was sheathed inside you, his eyes closed as he savoured the feeling of being buried inside you.

“Lionel…”

He grunted in response, his eyes flickering open to look at you with a wild lust in his eyes.

“Devour me.”

Lionel grinned and his eyes flashed dangerously.

“With pleasure, love.”

He set a brutal pace, and you had to hold onto him to stop yourself from being thrown around on the bed - not that that was an unpleasurable idea, but for now you liked being sandwiched between his body and the mattress as his hips rammed into you as if he was trying to hammer you into the bed.

“You’re right, we don’t need foreplay,” Lionel said smugly as he lifted himself into a kneeling position, keeping his brutal pace going the whole time. “You’re soaked.”

“I’ve been wet for you f - for months, Lionel - ah!” You squeaked when his hand reached between your bodies and he began rubbing your clit with his thumb, just adding to the anguishing pleasure you felt burning through you, and you wondered if he’d consulted his Karma Sutra on how to pleasure the clit just right - either that or he was just a natural at pleasuring women.

“You know, I fucked Polly from accounts last week and - ugh - the whole time I thought of you. You’ve - mhm - you’ve ruined other women for me, love. Even before I’d had you. And now I have - hahhhh - now I have, I’m afraid they’ll all pale in comparison.”

You grinned cheekily. “That’s what they all say.”

Lionel’s grip on your thigh tightened, and he shook his head.

“I mean it. Fuck. Even your tits are perfect.” He eyed them hungrily, watching the way they bounced with each of his thrusts, the way your chest shuddered slightly with each moan. He increased the pace of his thumb on your clit, and you cried out.

“Lionel!”

Your hands gripped the sheets, desperate for some sort of purchase as your whole body shook with each of Lionel’s thrusts. You were close, you knew it, and when you felt the familiar flame burning inside you, you knew there was no stopping it.

“Lionel, I - I’m gonna cum, I —-“

“Yes, love, that’s it, cum on my cock - let me hear you —“

“Oh god, Lionel… Lionel!”

You screamed his name as you came, your muscles spasming and your walls clenching tight around his length. Lionel gritted his teeth, a low rumble building in his chest, and your name tumbled out of his mouth as he came, cock pulsing, and you were hit with a desire to feel him fill you with his seed.

He held your hips flush against his, his cock twitching inside you as he panted, his brain empty and dizzy with nothing but the bliss of you.

After a few moments, Lionel pulled out of you and you reluctantly climbed out of the bed to go to the bathroom. When you came back, Lionel had discarded his condom but had made no effort to put his clothes back on. He beckoned you towards him, a satisfied smirk on his face, and you clamboured under the blankets with him.

Lionel wrapped an arm around you and held you close, as if without your body heat he would freeze.

“Hello,” he mumbled with a chuckle.

“Hi.”

You both laughed.

“How was your flight?” Lionel asked, adjusting himself slightly on the bed so he could look at you and hold you at the same time.

“Amazing. I didn’t want to get off. I’ve never flown business before.”

“Really? Much better than first, isn’t it?”

You scoffed. “Lionel, I’ve never flown anything other than economy.”

“What?” he said incredulously. “Packed in like sardines with god knows who?”

“Well, sometimes I use my flying points to upgrade to economy plus.”

“Outrageous. That university should be paying you far more if you feel you have to slum it in economy.”

“I teach literature, Lionel. Nobody cares about literature. The money’s in science.”

“Nonsense, the arts are extremely important!”

“You’re only saying that because you run a media company. You need us artists, or you wouldn’t have anything to sell.”

“First of all, I run multiple media companies —“

“Oh, sorry, of course.”

“— and second, I run them because I believe art is important. So brilliant people like you can continue creating. You’re welcome.”

You laughed, and you were about to respond when your phone began ringing from where you’d tossed it on the floor when getting undressed.

Lionel, who had a better view of the phone, peered over at it.

“Pfft, you’ve barely landed and Michaelson misses you already.”

“I’ve barely landed and you’re fucking me already.”

Lionel grinned. “That’s true.” He leant out of the bed to grab the ringing phone and tossed it to you. “Go on, better not keep Daddy waiting.”

You rolled your eyes at him and answered the phone.

“Hi, Eli.”

“[Y/n], where are you? I’ve come to your office and you’re not here.”

“No, I’m off today.”

“Off? Why didn’t you tell me? Are you sick?”

“Yes, off. I didn’t tell you because it was last-minute and you’re not my keeper. And no, I’m not sick.”

“Well, when are you coming back?”

“Erm - I’m not sure, actually. Lionel, when’s my flight back?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t booked it yet.”

“Lionel?” Eli repeated down the phone, flabbergasted. “You took off at the last minute to see Lionel?”

“No, of course not! I had to get to London quickly and —“

“Yes, I’m sure you did. I thought you were a professional, [Y/n]. I can’t believe you booked the day off work to fly to London for a shag, as you lot like to call it —“

“Eli! Will you shut up? My uncle died, dickhead, his funeral’s on Monday. Lionel was kind enough to get me a last-minute flight and put me up for the weekend.”

“Oh, yeah? Fucked him yet?”

“What’s it to you?”

“I knew it! Barely off the plane and you’re already spreading your legs.”

“Put him on loudspeaker,” Lionel muttered to you. You sighed and did so, hoping if they hashed it out quickly it’d be over sooner.

“Michaelson! You need to learn to share, mate. You both made it clear you’re not a couple, so what’s your problem? Or are you only interested in fidelity when it’s one-way? Speaking of which, found any more bastards lately?”

“Ah, fuck off, Shabandar. [Y/n], you better get back soon as you can. You’re in for a hell of a punishment.”

He hung up.

“Prat,” Lionel spat. “Does he always speak to you like that?”

“He’s an asshole, sure, but he’s not usually that bad. He’s just - well, not jealous, I don’t think. I think he’s just annoyed because he likes the idea that he’s fucking multiple women but I’m only fucking him.” You paused. “Aw, man, I’m just a replacement for his ex-wife, ain’t I?”

“You are a lot of things, [Y/n], but you’re certainly no one’s wife.”

“Damn straight.” You tossed the phone aside and leant back into Lionel’s arms. He smiled and held you happily, both of you glad you could finally feel one another’s warmth.

“Have you ever been married, Lionel?” you asked absentmindedly.

“No. Never found a woman I’d want to commit to.”

“So you’re too much of a man whore?”

Lionel chuckled, and you could feel his deep laugh reverberating through his chest.

“Precisely. Just like you’re too much of a slut. Would you marry either one of us if it meant you could never have the other?”

“You’re rich, so yes, I’d marry you.”

“So shallow, [Y/n]!” Lionel said in mock surprise. “Have you been flirting with me all this time just to get to my wallet?”

“No, the other thing in your pants. But the hefty wallet’s pretty nice too.”

Lionel smiled and kissed the top of your head surprisingly gently. “Did you want to get dinner tonight? It’s on me and my hefty wallet. Anything you need while you’re here is on me.”

“Hmm… I’ll be honest with you, I’m not too keen on putting any more clothes on today.”

“Good point, nor am I. We’ll order in, then, and tomorrow we’ll go out for lunch. I have a charity event tomorrow night if you’re interested. Very fancy party, lots of rich people mingling and writing generous cheques to show how rich and altruistic they are. I’m sure you’ll find yourself a rich husband there.”

“I doubt anything I’ve packed will be suitable —“

“Then I’ll buy you a dress in the afternoon, after we go out for lunch. Please say you’ll come, [Y/n], these things are horrifically boring. I’m richer than everyone else there, so their displays of wealth are so tedious.”

You turned your head to look up at him with a smirk. “Why would I go looking for a rich husband at this party if I’m already fucking the richest man there?”

“So you can fob him off to fuck me instead.”

You laughed, then turned around to throw a leg over his lap, straddling him, his half-erect cock pressing against your thigh.

“I seem to recall you saying you always get what you want, so do I really have a choice here?”

Lionel grinned. “You’re a quick learner.”

“You think? Let me see how quickly I can learn the best way to ride you…”

***

It was very, very dangerous how much you were enjoying spending time with Lionel. From waking up to his face between your legs, to lunch at a fancy restaurant and shopping in the afternoon, you could definitely get used to being spoilt.

And on top of treating you well, he was good company too. He was witty and he had a way of making you feel comfortable with him, even in unfamiliar surroundings. You bonded over a mutual love of all things artistic - not just paintings, as were his passion, and literature, as was yours, but you had similar tastes in theatre, music and cinema.

When it was time to leave for the charity event, you met Lionel at the bottom of the stairs where he was standing looking out the window as he waited for you in a perfectly fitted tux, which was no doubt tailor-made.

“Well, don’t you look handsome!” you said, eyes raking up and down his body, containing the urge to rip the tuxedo off him.

Lionel turned around, and his eyebrows shot up in surprise when he saw you.

“Wow, [Y/n]…”

“Do I look alright? I wasn’t sure what to do with my hair, so I figured I’d just curl it —“

“You’re beautiful.”

He said it so suddenly, so sincerely, that it made you blush.

“Oh - erm - thank you. I won’t look out of place?”

Lionel shook his head incredulously and approached you to wrap his arm around your waist.

“Darling, you’ll stick out like a sore thumb only because you’ll outshine them all. All eyes will be on the most beautiful woman in the room.”

“Lionel, stop it, you’re making me blush!” you giggled, but you loved to hear such sweet words coming from him.

“And you still look beautiful with your cheeks glowing red. Shall we, then?” He offered you his arm.

“Yes, let’s,” you said, taking his arm gratefully and allowing him to guide you to the elevator.

The party might have been tedious to Lionel, but you were having a great time. He introduced you to so many people that you lost track, but you did meet a few famous faces you were a little starstruck by.

“Ah, and here’s my cousin, late as usual!” Lionel announced as a man around his age, bearing some resemblance to him, arrived with a smile on his face and a slightly younger woman on his arm, who looked just as nervous to be there as you were.

“Lionel!” the cousin announced cheerily. “Good to see you, cuz!”

He wrapped his arms around Lionel in a big bear hug, which Lionel tolerated with a pat on the back before stepping back.

“[Y/n], this is Sinclair Bryant, my cousin. As you can already tell, he has no respect for decorum or timekeeping.”

If Sinclair heard the insult, he showed no sign of it, as he was still beaming as if seeing Lionel was the best thing that had ever happened to him.

“[Y/n]? How lovely to meet you! You know, our great-great-grandmother was called [Y/n], wasn’t she, Lionel?”

Lionel shrugged. “Was she? I wouldn’t know. Sinclair has the family history memorised,” he explained to you, “along with every other fact known to man.”

He turned his attention to Sinclair’s companion and smiled, a familiar twinkle in his eye, and a twist in your stomach suddenly reminded you of Eli. You hadn’t heard from him since last night’s phone call.

“And Elizabeth, looking lovely as always, dear.” Lionel took Elizabeth’s hand and kissed it with a flirtatious smile, and she blushed.

“I’ve told you before, Lionel, you can call me Betty.”

“Betty, of course. Now, if you ladies don’t mind, I have some business to discuss with Sinclair.”

“Now?” you said. “Aren’t we at a party?”

“Yes, and if we don’t catch each other now, it won’t be until Christmas. Now, Sinclair, about those reports you sent me…”

The two men wandered off, and you excused yourself for some air, finding your way out to the balcony, which you were relieved to find was empty.

As if he psychically knew you were thinking about him, your phone rang and sure enough Eli was calling.

“How’d you know I was thinking about you?”

“Because you’re always thinking about me. How’s the party?”

“Good, but I feel so out of place. Met some interesting people though. Hey, wait, how did you know about the party?”

“It’s on Twitter.”

“Since when do you use Twitter?”

“Since this morning. You know Lionel’s super famous, right? Being filthy rich does that. Everything he does gets tweeted. There are photos of you two all over the internet.”

“What?!” you gasped.

“Yep. Lionel Shabandar and mystery woman at lunch… Lionel Shabandar and mystery woman go shopping… Mystery woman accompanies Lionel Shabandar to charity gala… Oh, now here’s an interesting comment. ‘Isn’t this the same woman who went to Shabandar’s Christmas party with Eli Michaelson?’ You’re really making a name for yourself. Or you would be if anyone knew your name…”

“Fucking hell. Nah, I can’t have this, Eli. I can’t have my personal life plastered all over the internet!”

“Should have thought of that before you fucked a Nobel Laureate and one of the richest men in the world.”

“Oh piss off, you are not using this to excuse your jealousy. Look, I have some fame of my own, okay? Maybe not like you two do but I am known in lit circles, and the last thing I want is for my name to be associated with who I’m dating rather than my work.”

“Dating? Is that what you and Lionel were doing today?”

“No - shut up, you know what I mean. Do you think Lionel can take them down? He pretty much controls most of the media, right, so maybe he can talk to the head of Twitter or whatever —“

“Too late. Once it’s on the internet, it’s everywhere.”

You sighed and leaned back against the wall.

“So… you were thinking about me?” Eli said after a few moments.

“…Maybe.”

“But you’ve got such exalted company, [Y/n]. Why would you be thinking of a humble little Nobel Laureate?”

You scoffed. “You are the very antithesis of humble, Eli. And you’re certainly not little.”

“But I am a Nobel Laureate.”

“Yes, you’ve mentioned.”

“So… what were you thinking about? Missing my cock yet?”

“Actually, I thought of you because I saw Lionel flirt with someone. Realised I was jealous… made me think I kind of understand why you’re mad about me being here.”

There was a long pause.

“I was gonna ask you out,” Eli said.

“…What?”

“Last night. That’s why I was mad. I was gonna ask you for a real date. Spent an hour working up the courage to knock on your door, meanwhile you were in London fucking Lionel.”

You froze. Your world was spinning. Then, without even thinking, you said, “I woulda said yes.”

“You wouldn’t rather Lionel instead?” Eli scoffed.

“No. I dunno. I… I like both of you. You fuck around, and I know Lionel does too. Can’t I have it both ways? You for when I’m in the States, Lionel when I’m in the UK. Both of you when you’re both around. I keep thinking of taking both of you again.”

Eli let out a frustrated groan.

“Fuck, you’re such a greedy slut. I wish I was there to take you right now in front of all those stuck-up snobs. Lionel can join in only once I’m done with your tight cunt and it’s all loosened for him. Or maybe he could take your ass at the same time. Bet you’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“God, Eli - I can’t be getting wet in the middle of this party —“

“You knew you’d be getting wet the moment you started thinking about me.”

“I’m always thinking about you at the worst of times… last week one of my students asked if I was friends with you and I had to resist saying I’d sucked your cock half an hour earlier. Not least because I’m pretty sure she’s one of yours. Leah Driver?”

“Oh, Leah… yeah, she’s one of mine. Gives terrible head, but her ass is divine.”

That awful twisting feeling rose up in your gut again, and you pushed it back down.

“In fact, since you’re off playing fancy with Lionel, maybe I’ll arrange a one-to-one with her…”

“Are you trying to make me jealous of a student when I have Lionel here ready to take me as soon as I open my legs? Try harder, sweetie.”

“Not there with you now, is he?”

“No, he’s catching up with his cousin.”

“Oh, Sinclair? Yeah, I’ve met him. Extremely annoying.”

“He seems alright to me.”

“His wife’s hot, though. The new one, not the old one.”

“Okay, Eli, you go fuck your students like the professional you are. I’ve got a party to enjoy.”

Meanwhile, back inside, Lionel and Sinclair had finished their business chat and conversation had turned to more interesting things.

“That woman you’re with seemed really lovely! Are you dating her?” Sinclair asked with excitement, as if his cousin’s love life was the most interesting thing in the world.

“Why, are you looking?”

Sinclair looked offended. “Of course not! I’m very happy with Betty, you know that. I wouldn’t dream of even looking at another woman.”

“Sinclair, relax, I was joking,” Lionel reassured him, knowing his cousin’s feelings about cheating. “No, we’re not dating. Simply fucking.”

“Well, Betty was looking on Twitter earlier - I don’t have it myself, I’m completely inept with technology - but somebody spotted you and [Y/n] at lunch earlier, so I thought maybe there was something more there. Especially as you brought her tonight.”

“She’s certainly… piqued my interest,” Lionel admitted. Sinclair’s eyes lit up, but Lionel quickly added, “But she’s clearly not interested in anything of the sort. I’m not the only man she’s seeing, for starters.”

“Then you need to win her over! Why don’t you bring her to Betty’s birthday party on Tuesday? I can be your wingman! I’ll tell her all the embarrassing stories from when we were kids and you used to show up to family events in your lion onesie, and if she’s still interested after that, you know she’s the one!”

“Don’t you dare, Sinclair,” Lionel said warningly. “If you ruin my chances with [Y/n], I will steal your wife.”

“So you do like her! Oh, this is great, Li! I’ll ask Betty to talk to her and see if she can find out if she likes you too. Ooh, this is so fun! I’ll go talk to Betty right now! She can be super sneaky when she wants to - lied to my face for months about not being in love with me —“

Sinclair was out the door before he’d even finished talking, and his sentence seemed to run straight into the next when he bounded up to Betty and started talking animatedly to her.

Lionel hesitated before returning to the party. He was one of the richest men in the world. He could have pretty much anything he wanted with a snap of his fingers - or a flash of his debit card. Why was he letting a woman get to him like this?

No, he wasn’t having it. Sharing you with Eli was one thing, but he would not doubt himself.

After your call with Eli, you made your way back inside, and glanced around, hoping for a familiar face. You saw Sinclair chatting animatedly to Betty, but Lionel was nowhere to be seen.

You began to make your way through the crowd towards the bar, carefully avoiding bumping into a drunk Bill Gates, when you felt a large hand close around your wrist and pull you back around.

You hardly had a moment to register that it was Lionel who had a grip on you when his lips were on yours, and his hand released your wrist from his grip only to hold your face firmly between his hands, as if worried you might break the kiss.

Somewhere in the distance, some rich people were wolf-whistling and cheering, but you paid them no mind. All that existed in that moment was you and Lionel, and the most breathtaking kiss you’d ever received.

It was all over Twitter within minutes.

#alan rickman #lionel shabandar #eli michaelson #sinclair bryant #lionel x reader #eli x reader #sinclair x betty

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digipaw-does-art · 5 months

Text

A drawing I made of a opossum warlock!

Okay picture and DND NPC idea thats a normal opossum, not a fancy super smart opossum, just a normal opossum. BUT hes a warlock, because some higher being looked at him and thought "That lil guys cool as hell lets give him magic" and becomes his warlock patron.

Interesting idea? Ill put more indepth info in read more

You can buy prints of him on my Etsy

[Link tree][Insta][Twitter]

Now this is just a normal opossum, he does not comprehend the concept of magic or the fact that he can now do magic. So he's just going around accidentally casting spells everywhere he goes. Then imagine the patron decides to give him a Lil hat and robe to complete the look (also because its cute). Being a wild animal though the Lil guy HATES it and trys to get the clothing off, similar to how a dog and cat might try to get stuff off. Every time he gets it off though his patron just materializes a new set on him. This struggle accounts for 70% of the accidental magic going on.

With that concept, imagine the party coming to a town seemingly being attacked by an evil magic user, and are asked to please solve the problem. So they go looking for what they think is going to be an evil wizard of some sort only to find a opossum that's had magic and clothes thrust on it by some chaotic magical being. Some ways this could pan out:

They kill the opossum solving the towns problem

They try to contain the opossums magic ability

They try to reason with the patron (first they would have to find them) to leave the opossum alone

Try to convince the patron to stop putting clothes on the opossum (being the source of most of the accidental magic as he trys to remove them)

Try to talk with the opossum in hopes to calm him down

Bestow sapience to the opossum giving him the ability to comprehend his situation, but also the potential to see the horrors of reality (pictured above)

keep opossum as pet etc

Also if the party keeps the opossum as a pet, imagine one of them who knows the hand motions needed for spells (assuming they don't have spoken components) and rolling animal handling to wiggle to opossums arms around in the motions to cast spells. Opossums have thumbs so all the hand motions should be possible lmao.

For his stats, being as hes just a normal opossum, and not a hyper intelligent opossum, would largely be shit. Like as low as they can go while he still being alive. EXCEPT for Charisma and Constitution, that is because he is 1.) absolutely precious and 2.) opossums are extremely resistant to rabies and such.

#digital art #dungeons and dragons #dnd #warlock #opossum #wizard #my art #wizard shit #dnd npc #art #drawing #digital drawing

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punsmaster69 · 4 months

Text

25/DEC/20XX

wooooooooooooooo.

that day.

the one.

the twenty fifth.

the holiday.

if i list what everyone got from everyone, i'll be here all night, so just the most notable stuff.

got some new books. and socks. and a giant blanket. and a sweater.

i'm feeling very cozy.

frisk shrieked when they got one of those rock excavation kits from my bro.

(little known fact: frisk has an innate fascination with rocks.)

asgore gifted them an art kit.

alphys got them a mini salt lamp. they immediately licked it.

i got 'em a tungsten cube.

"Why are you so excited over a hunk of metal?"

"It's not a 𝘩𝘶𝘯𝘬, it's a 𝘤𝘶𝘣𝘦."

"It's a hunk of metal."

"I'm gonna 'hunk' this at your face in a second."

"Do you WANT to kill me?!"

"No. But stop calling it a hunk of metal. It's a tungsten cube."

"Why do you care, anyway? It's MY cube, not yours."

"It's boring."

"Not to me."

"You underestimate my ability to find entertainment in shiny objects."

"Whatever. Suit yourself."

a lot of us had similar ideas, because flowey got a decent amount of (mostly dinosaur related) brick sets.

it's hard not to notice the pieces constantly strewn about flowey's half of their room.

walking over there's like a spike trap.

might be purposeful.

tori also got him some simulator game. he apparently already had the others in the series, so it makes sense.

papyrus has been using the same pots and pans for ages.

they're a bit charred and dented in places.

so, paps got gifted new cookware.

undyne got him utensils, and alphys got the pots.

tori gave him new oven mitts that don't have holes in them, unlike the previous pair.

i got him a giant puzzle cube. it's got so many rows.

it'll take him forever to solve.

he seems excited.

mettaton got him a robe, because apparently paps been admiring his. they match now.

got asgore some new teacups.

his current ones work fine, but didn't have many ideas outside of that. besides, when have extras hurt anyone?

undyne gifted him a book on slang and how to use it.

alphys' face dropped when she saw it.

"have fun with that."

(some kind of disgruntled lizard sound.)

alphys was ecstatic about receiving a manga she's wanted for ages from undyne.

tori got her some t-shirts. the one alphys liked the most is printed with a ramen brand.

undyne was gifted another giant foam sword.

that was the most exciting one for her.

they've been into collecting these specific stuffed animal things lately, so i got alphys and undyne matching ones.

mettaton had a similar gift, but luckily we didn't end up on the exact same stuffed animal.

something i'll probably regret was getting mtt a tub of glitter.

i know he likes the stuff, but i'm realizing now how this is probably ending.

already preparing to have glitter stuck to me every time he's in the vicinity.

...so not much will change, actually.

papyrus gave him a pillow custom-altered to have mettaton's branding on it.

giving mtt an mtt themed item...

he loved it. suggested that paps could help design products with him at some point.

alphys' gift was apparently done earlier, as it was an adjustment that enabled him to sign things without having to worry about carrying pens.

because his finger turns into the pen. kinda neat, honestly.

napstablook's headphone cord was looking a bit rough, so that's what i got them.

simple, but they smiled.

must not have been too bad a choice.

mettaton gifted tickets to a live band. they'll go together at some point.

me and tori, being old nerdy bookworms, exchanged exactly that: books.

frisk gave tori a cutesy handmade card, signed "by frisk and flowey but mostly frisk" on the back.

asgore gave her a necklace.

she stared at it and flatly thanked him before tucking it into her purse.

undyne gave a pie tin. self-explanatory.

probably exactly as expected, grillby was gotten a lot of various kitchenwares.

we have a lot of cooks in our friend group, i realize.

anyway, he was fond of the sturdy glass mugs i picked out for him.

that's the notable stuff gift-wise.

as for stockings, i went with chocolate bars for the other adults.

plain, simple, don't know anyone who doesn't like it.

safe bet, y'know?

got frisk a bag of those fake rock chocolates. the ones that look exactly like real rocks. they always talk about wanting to eat certain rocks; figured this would be a better alternative to shattering their teeth on real ones.

gave flowey a bag of fake coal.

"for being a butthead this year."

"Jokes on you, I'll gladly take this. And I'm STILL being the same next year!"

"didn't expect any different."

"besides, that's why you got coal last year too."

"Does it even count if it's chocolate coal? Not much of a punishment."

"it's the idea."

"The idea?"

"that you're eating rocks."

"Frisk is the one eating the rocks."

"you want real coal next year?"

"No!"

"Give that to Frisk instead."

"wouldn't be a punishment to them."

there's a lot of candy in each stocking, and most have forgotten who got what anyway.

the certain thing was everyone getting a bone in their stocking.

you know who from.

he gives 'em every year, this being no exception.

——

previous rock-paper-scissors decisions on who brings what dish collaborates now into a holiday feast aplenty.

or whatever jolly terminology i'm supposed to use to say: there was a lot of food. it was good. asgore overcooked the rolls a little. edible enough though.

——

somehow still full of energy, paps, mettaton and frisk are belting holiday songs.

napstablook's dj-ing for them.

undyne and alphys are chatting quietly beside the tree.

asgore is trying to help flowey put together that brick set.

his big hands aren't doing great with the small pieces.

grillby's trying to help him help better.

leaned against me, tori is chilling on the couch. i think she's convinced everyone else she's asleep, but under the blanket, her hand lightly tightens around mine every once in a while.

might be that she doesn't want to draw any attention to it.

...

i don't either, so i'll close my eyes too.