uh, okay. i'm very scared to ask but : rabbit that's not really a rabbit...?
yeah, there's, like. a small god, shaped like a rabbit, that lives in my yard. I would say it's a normal rabbit except it's not. It won't move from my driveway if I'm trying to drive out and it was there first. I can walk up within a few feet of it, and it will turn and just look at me like what do you want? It's the only rabbit that freaks the hell out of all my birds, they CANNOT be directed or communicated with when this rabbit comes around, they will do nothing but stand on alert and stare at it making a soft warning call. I've caught it SEVERAL times now standing nose to nose with one of my peacocks, and it just looks at me and walks away when I catch them. hawks and falcons and eagles and owls constantly pass over my yard, and it is full of rabbits that do not hide from them, and I've never seen evidence of one being taken. You know the moment you walk into a very dark room and maybe it's a room you've been in before and maybe you don't believe in ghosts, but also it's still dark and your little leftover lizard hindbrain goes "anything could be inside of here waiting for me" the second before you turn on the light? It's like that feeling, except in the shape of a rabbit. i didn't ask for any of that.
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I'm going crazy thinking about riding Lando in his sim chair
LIKE GURL IT WOULD BE SO FUCKING HOT
👀 helloooooooooo please the thoughts you brought to my mind..... not very holy
(18+ content below, minors pls dni)
lando has been on the call for way too long now.
he promised he’d just go for one more round on the sim with george and alex, but that was almost two hours ago. you are bored, and the shows on the tv in lando’s living room are not doing enough to help you forget about your boyfriend neglecting you.
when you finally get off the couch and go over to his room, lando is in the exact same position as he was when you left him; body relaxed back against the sim chair, legs spread wide, head slump back against the headrest. he's laughing at something george has just said when his eyes fall on you in the doorway.
"oh, my girl is here!" he exclaims, reaching out a hand towards you as you move closer. "the boys say hi."
you intertwine your fingers with his, leaning down to the mic of his headset. "hi, boys!"
he takes a quick moment to mute himself from the call, looking back up at you. "what's up?"
"can i join you?"
his face lights up. "do you want to play?" his expression then changes when he sees you shaking your head.
"i just want to sit."
he can't quite grasp what you're saying. it doesn't click until you step so close that your knees are bumping against his thigh, just before you drape one of your legs over his lap, sitting down on top of him. lando blinks at you and gulps, not able to control the tent already forming in his pants when you shuffle to find a comfortable position. you know he has always had a weakness for you sitting on his lap, so the innocent eyes and the sweet pout you're showing off are nothing but an act. "is something wrong?" you ask, one of your hands coming up to stroke his cheek as he shivers.
"lando? where did you go, mate?"
in a matter of just seconds, he had managed to forget about his friends and the round they were playing. he's forgotten about everything that isn't you and your pretty face.
"sorry, guys," he says once he's gone off mute. his voice breaks when he tries to speak again, so he coughs and tries one more time. "something has come up, i have to go."
lando doesn't even give his friends time to ask why or say goodbye before he's hung up the call, his focus back on you again. his hands move up and down your sides as he shakes his head. "what? why did you hang up?"
"don't play with me right now." he squints at you, a playful grin spreading over his lips.
"it's all your fault anyway," you say, letting your hands reach down to play with the zipper of his jeans. "you ignored me."
he lets out a shaky sigh when you pop the button open, slowly pulling down the zipper. "what do i have to do to get you to forgive me?"
"i think you know."
and god riding him then 😩 in the seat where he does so much of his work, so many hours of the day... he's going to be reminded of you and grow horny every time he goes back there
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What do you think gay men are attracted to in men that they can’t be attracted to in women?
It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives men-only attraction.
It can’t be anything about stated identity because someone could lie just as easily as they could tell the truth in such a statement, and it makes no sense because homosexuality and heterosexuality exists in other species with no stated identities. It’s not like other animals without gender are all pan.
Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait men have that women can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.
Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?
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I think trying to find one perfect answer that applies universally is the critical mistake here. I mean, I am a gay man. I say this because as of yet, that's the clearest answer I have for myself personally; maybe there's a possibility I experience attraction to a woman at some point (maybe I already have???), but I don't really have clarity on that right now, and it doesn't serve me to shape or explain my identity around "maybe"s.
Trying to pinpoint exactly what it is that attracts me to other men, specifically, is also like... not that useful. I used to find myself really attracted to feminine men specifically; not feminine women, not masculine women, not masculine men, not androgynous anyone, but feminine men. Specifically, men who were feminine in a very particular, long-hair-certain-attitude kind of way.
Recently, I have found myself appreciating, more and more, a certain kind of masculine body type and gay masculinity that I was never really interested in before. I find it incredibly hot. A lot of that coincides with things I appreciate about my partner, too, and things I find myself appreciating more about my partner as time goes on- as well as things my partner expresses appreciation for about me!
And I haven't even touched on attraction to nonbinary folks here because, like, it's a massive spectrum. "Nonbinary" means something different for every individual nonbinary person. To my mind, of course there's a possibility I experience attraction to a nonbinary person; how they identity, present, and what attracts me to them are all even more impossible to know for certain than the "maybe"s and the "why"s around my attraction (or lack thereof) to men and women.
My relationship to my own orientation was vastly different pre-testosterone versus post-testosterone, too. I was much more reserved and uncomfortable with relationships and attraction before I started T, and the only dynamic I ever felt was even a little bit tolerable was one where I was the "masculine woman" in a lesbian relationship. I didn't realize until very shortly after starting T that, actually, I like men. A lot. I felt comfortable with my body and my masculinity in a way I never had been before, and I felt comfortable in relationships with men; I no longer felt like I was The Woman By Default in contrast.
And that's all just me! This is my personal, specific, individual relationship to attraction, and how gender- both others' and my own- factors into my relationship with orientation.
I don't think it's necessarily inborn, or completely unchanging for everyone. I also don't think the same factors apply for everyone. I think a lot of different things can be true for different people, all at once, and it's not really useful to try to pinpoint a specific, universal explanation for orientation.
Everyone has a different relationship to orientation and gender; everyone will be influenced differently by cultural factors, by their own ways of processing and understanding the world around them, by the ways different aspects of their culture, identity, personality, and inborn traits and how they all interact with one another, and sure, maybe even by biological factors and tendencies.
Trying to solve this puzzle for the entire world of diverse human beings isn't going to make it any easier to understand yourself. Focus on what this all means for you, personally, and accept that you will never, can never, fully and perfectly understand anyone else's internal world and workings. Things get a lot easier when you can let go of that & just appreciate the diversity of human experiences, y'know?
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