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letarasstuff · 3 years

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Making the Voice quieter

(A/N): This was requested by an anon. I hope you like it!

Summary: Spencer finds out about his daughter's eating disorder, he will he react?

Warnings: Angst, discription of an eating disorder (bulemia to be more specific), discription of (binge) eating, bad body image, self hatred, abuse of pills (diet pills)

Wordcount: 2.2k

✨Masterlist✨

______________________________

Prison. Cat. Diana. All those things happened close to each other. Luckily a few months have passed since then and slowly everything settles down. Spencer is able to get his feelings sorted through, processing the events.

Ever since his imprisonment he follows a more or less strict routine, given the uncertainty coming with his job. Spencer still tries to keep it up. So is every Friday dedicated to buying the majority of groceries and needed non food articles.

Sometimes (Y/N) tags along, other days she already has plans with her friends. Her father doesn’t mind it much, he is happy to see her socializing with people her age. The two of them have one father-daughter-night in the week anyways.

“Sweetheart, I’m heading out! Did you put everything you need on the list?” He shouts into the apartment. A faint “Yes! Love you!” echoes back to him. A smile forms on the doctor’s face. Oh how he longed to hear those words from her every night while he laid in his bed, locked up for a crime he didn’t commit. “Alright, love you, too!”

Meanwhile her father has to deal with Karens being their ignorant selfs, (Y/N) is under the biggest stress she has ever been. The end of her sophomore year and suddenly every teacher thinks it’s alright to give the students a load of work in every single class.

It’s beginning to get to her head. Four essays, three projects and studying for two tests and everything is due next week. She can see herself sitting at that very desk for the whole weekend, trying to contain control of her current situation.

As (Y/N) begins to read the page in front of her again to pull any information from it, it feels like her brain shuts down. Only one thought possesses her. One thing that can assure her, make her happy again.

Her body moves automatically, into the kitchen to the fridge. Her hands grab what they can. Puddings, yogurts, bananas, apples, last night’s dinner, everything that she can carry. Then the teenager sits down at the floor and devours everything she just got out. (Y/N) doesn’t stop until she gets to this intense feeling of being full.

It seems like she snaps out of a trance. Upon seeing what she ate in the shortest time, the girl feels even worse. Quickly she tries to destroy any kind of evidence, getting the trash out, making the fridge appear more full than it is, anything.

In her panicked state she remembers the small container of pills in her room. Relief washes over (Y/N), thinking everything will be better. She takes two of them for good measurement.

With the relief also guilt takes over. What just happened wasn’t normal. But (Y/N) tells herself that she can stop any time she wants. It’s not like she is sick or something, everything is fine. It’s just her way to copy stress. A way she discovered while her father was in prison. The diet pills help her to undo her mistakes. Someone from her friend group, who is already 18, got her them from the doctor for a fair price.

Feeling calmer now, the teenager sits back at her desk. A new perception of control helps her to continue her school work. She has to get done as much as possible, because in not even half an hour (Y/N)’s best friend will be the toilet.

Spencer is completely obvious to it. Sure, he is a profiler and he noticed his daughter’s new view on eating healthy food and working out. He just assumes that (Y/N) and her friends are on a healthy trip and he doesn’t see a problem in this. On the contrary, he is happy that she wants to be good to herself and her body.

But as the weeks go on, a suspicious feeling captures him. “(Y/N)? Why is the fridge nearly empty? We got groceries last Friday and it’s only Tuesday. Did you have a party over here while I was away on the case?” Spencer enters his daughter’s room, trying to joke about it.

(Y/N) freezes. Of course she isn’t able to say that the food went bad and she threw them away, her father is meticulous regarding this subject, always checking the best before day date. “Uhm, please don’t be mad. But Alex, you know her, the short one with red hair, uhm her parents are on a business trip and she is not the best cook. So I brought her lunch and dinner over. I’m sorry for not telling you.” She looks down at the floor, not only to feign sadness but also to avoid his eyes.

The second the teenager talks Spencer knows there is something fishy. Her voice is higher and she fidget with her hands. But he writes it off as being nervous for not telling him. Ever since he is out of prison, it feels like his daughter is withholding something.

“It’s fine, Sweetheart. Just give me a heads-up beforehand, so I know to buy more groceries. What do you think about ordering something tonight? I heard from Luke that a small Chinese restaurant opened a few streets down. We can celebrate the end of the stressful phase in Sophomore year.”

It seems like (Y/N) is calculating something in her head. Spencer knows exactly what she thinks about. “You can forget about your calorie intake for one night. I see how much time you invest in living healthy, but we can let loose for a night together. Just some noodles with chicken or spring rolls and us trying to use chopsticks and giving up after two minutes and resorting to forks. How does that sound?”

The teenager would love to sigh, but it would only alarm her father further. “Yeah, you are right. Let us let loose. But only if I can choose the movie we watch after dinner!” (Y/N) feels bad for eating unhealthy food again. Her last binge was only yesterday and usually she tries to consume lighter things. But she has to bite into the sour apple, else her father will be more suspicious. After all, she can just stop. (Y/N) promises herself to not think about her weight, her shape or the calories she will eat.

Well yeah, no. Just after the first noodle hits her tongue, intrusive thoughts take a seat in her mind, getting settled.

‘You already look like a potato.’

‘Are you sure this is the right thing to eat?’

‘Can you really stop?’

‘Dad is going to hate you when he finds out.’

All of them and more enter her head. (Y/N) is unable to shake them off. She is fine. She doesn’t have a problem. She just doesn’t feel like eating now, that’s fine, right?

“Uhm Dad. I’m full and really tired from the day. Is it ok if I go to bed? Maybe we can rain check on that movie?” The girl asks, feeling even worse for ditching her father. Usually it’s the other way around.

“Are you feeling ok? You look a little pale. Are you sick?” Spencer fires his question canone being the borderline helicopter father he always is. “Yes, just really exhausted from all the assignment and school work. A good night's rest and I will be good as new.” (Y/N) attempts a small smile, but fails miserably at it.

“Ok, sleep tight baby. I’ll put the leftovers in the fridge for you tomorrow.” Quickly she goes into her room. The thoughts in her head scream louder and louder with each step she takes. Can she really stop? Maybe she should come clean to her father.

‘And risking him hating you? Look at you, thinking you are sane is the only thing keeping him from abandoning you. How would you explain him keeping you otherwise? It’s definitely not for your looks.’

Later that night, (Y/N) hasn’t gotten a wink of sleep because of the voices, she makes her way back to the kitchen. In an attempt to distract herself, the teenager scrolled through her social media sites. There she was met by pictures of perfect people.

Perfect bodies. Perfect lives. Perfect smiles. Perfect family. Perfect friends. Everything about them is perfect.

And then there is her. Her body is unperfect. Her life is a mess. Her smile is not that of a model. Her family is just her, her father and the people he works with. Her friends aren’t always the best associates.

The stress of not feeling enough is getting to (Y/N)’s head. Like several times before that her body goes into auto. She doesn’t control her movements, though she tells herself all of this is willently.

Like so many times before the girl goes through the fridge and eats everything up she can get her fingers on. But this time one thing is different. Her father is at home. And he isn’t a heavy sleeper.

The movement in the kitchen wakes him up. Immediately his brain jumps to a burglar or even worse, an UnSub they once arrested coming after him. Quickly he gets his revolver and sneaks through the hallway to the source of the noises. As Spencer only sees his daughter sitting there, he instantly relaxes.

“Hey Sweetheart, what are you doing up? It’s a school night”, he softly asks in order to not scare her. Still, (Y/N) gets startled at the sudden voice.

“Uhm, nothing much. Just hungry. Probably because I didn’t eat dinner”, she explains, looking at her father like he caught her with her hand stuck in the cookie jar. Spencer watches her closely. “This is it? Because from what it looks like you not only ate your dinner but also tomorrow’s breakfast and right now lunch.”

(Y/N) swallows her bite, feeling that sinking reality in her stomach. The pills. She needs the pills fast before her body begins to digest the food. “Uhm, yeah. I probably should go to bed. I need my sleep. Just let me tidy up. Good night, Dad.” But he is quick to stop her.

“(Y/N), I want you to sit down. There is something we have to talk about.” Hesitantly (Y/N) takes a seat. “What is it Dad? Are you reprimanding me for eating? I thought you wanted me to let loose for a night.”

Spencer sits, leaning against the kitchen counter. “Baby, I want you to be alright. But I think you are not.” His eyes get a sad look. “I’m alright. I am fine, Dad. What do you think is wrong with me?”

“Look, (Y/N), I don’t need to be a profiler to see that you are struggling with something. Do you want to tell me about it?” Her answer is a tight lipped smile and a “I’m fine. There is nothing to talk about.”

The father sighs. She is not leaving him much of a choice. “And what about them?” Spencer asks after getting something from the highest shelf in the kitchen, the one (Y/N) barely reaches by stepping on a stool. He sets a little container down on the table.

“Dad I-” “No (Y/N). You don’t need to explain anything. It’s my turn to talk. I found those in your room yesterday while I was looking for a book. At first I thought nothing of it, I mean you are trying to live healthy, so I thought this is part of the process. But then I saw that they have to be prescribed and I know that these aren’t yours.

“I wanted to talk about it with you anyway. But now I know that I caught you binge eating and I see all the signs. I see them and I’m sorry for not acting sooner. (Y/N), you need help and I’m here for you. I know the last few months were especially hard on you. I can’t change what was and what happened, but I will be here for you now." Tears stream down on boths their faces.

(Y/N) is stammering for words. “I-I am fine. I can stop anytime I want. Th-this was a conscious d-decision.” Her father envelops her in a hug, cradling her head to his chest. She begins to sob.

“I know, Sweetheart. It’s hard and it won’t get easier from here on, but I’m here. You know you can’t stop, it’s only an illusion your eating disorder wants you to believe. But we get through it together. You, I and the team if you want to. We take it at your pace.” By now the two are crying loudly.

“I want it to stop, Dad. Please make the voice go away.”

He can’t make it go away. No one can. But Spencer helps to quiet it. Together they tackle the disorder, through the good and the bad times. He takes off from work for a time and (Y/N) out of school for a few weeks to be able to work on it together, to make the voice quieter and her life better.

Taglist:

All works:

@dindjarinsspouse

Criminal Minds:

@averyhotchner @mggsprettygirl @herecomesthewriterwitch @ash19871962

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x daughter!reader #spencer reid #spencer reid x teen!reader #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #fanfiction #x reader #reader insert #x daughter!reader #x teen!reader #tw: eating disorder

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squiggledrop · 3 years

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Forgotten Days - Spencer x Reader

Masterlist

Summary: Spencer and Reader both have feelings for each other, but haven’t told the other. The team forgets Reader’s birthday, and Spencer tries to fix it before it’s too late.

Word Count: 3.1k

Pairings: Spencer Reid x Reader

Category: Agst, Fluff

Warnings: Kissing

Note: To the anon that requested this: Happy Happy Birthday!! Everyone should feel loved on their birthday, so I just wanted to let you know you are cared for and so appreciated. Happy Birthday!

The monotonous beeping of the hotel alarm clock pervaded your ears. You groggily peeked open your eyes, groaning at the sunlight bleeding through the window. You saw Emily shuffling in her bed as you reached over to turn off the incessant beeping before rubbing your tired eyes. It was six in the morning on the twelfth day the team had been in Kansas on a grueling case, and it just so happened to be your birthday. Needless to say, it was not off to a great start.

You sighed, willing yourself to get out of bed in an attempt to avoid a scolding from Hotch for being late. You pulled your head off the rough cotton pillow and swung your legs onto the ground. You took a long look around the room, taking in the way the deep red wallpaper had mocked you for the past eleven nights, reminding you of the unsub who had continuously avoided all the team’s attempts at catching them. Your jaw clenched as you turned back over to your half-asleep friend laying in the bed next to you.

“Em, we have to get up. We have to be back at the station in thirty minutes”, you said between a yawn. Emily groaned as she sat up, rolling her eyes as she nodded. You looked at her for a moment longer, not getting up to go to the bathroom just yet.

“What?”, she questioned. You knew it was early that she was just as tired and frustrated with this case as you, but you still waited for her to wish you a Happy Birthday. Your mouth hung open at her question before you quickly closed it, realizing you would not be getting any birthday wishes this early in the morning.

“Nothing. I’m going to hop in the shower”, you replied, getting up and walking towards the bathroom. You saw Emily nod as she began to get herself up and ready for the day. When you closed the door and started the shower, you couldn’t help but frown at the pit you felt in your stomach. Of course, there were more important matters at hand, such as the serial killer that was still on the loose, but that didn’t make your friend forgetting your birthday hurt any less. You closed your eyes and sighed, letting the hot water run over your shoulders.

You and Emily met up with Derek and Spencer outside the hotel as Hotch, Rossi, and JJ had already left. Derek drove and Emily claimed the passenger seat. You didn’t mind, however, because it meant you got to sit next to Spencer, whom you had developed feelings for over the past few months. Under any other circumstances, you would have loved the opportunity to spend more time near Spencer. But, in your current irritated state, it was torture, because he was the last person you wanted seeing you like this.

Spencer noticed how you were much quieter than you usually were, and he missed the stupid jokes you would always make that never failed to make him laugh. He also noticed you checking your phone constantly throughout the ride to the station. He bit his lip and frantically thought about anything that could have caused your shift in behavior. When you and Emily walked out of the hotel to where he and Derek were waiting he could already tell you were on edge, but when you dismissed Derek’s ‘good morning’ without one of your radiant smiles that he swore shone brighter than the morning sun, he knew something was wrong.

As you pulled into the station, you quickly checked your phone once more before heading inside. Garcia hadn’t sent her infamous, essay long birthday text, none of the team had wished you a happy birthday, none of your family had messaged you yet, and Spencer, in all his eidetic memory glory, hadn’t even acknowledged you. You pushed back the tears that threatened to fall from your eyes as you tried to focus on the case and not the feeling of worthlessness that protruded your brain.

Later in the day, Garcia had texted the team a lead, and Hotch sent Derek and JJ to check it out. Emily and Rossi were still at the latest dump site, so that left you and Spencer alone at the station. You had been short with everyone today, you knew that. You felt guilty, knowing you had let your emotions affect your work, but no matter how hard you tried to hide your emotions, working with a group of profilers meant they could always tell when something was off.

“Hey, (Y/n), are you okay?”, Spencer asked hesitantly, after almost an hour of working in silence. He missed how you could always brighten up a room with your vivacious personality despite the subject matter of your work. You always reminded him of all the good that there was in the world. He always knew he had feelings for you, but until he had to go a day without you brightening up his day, he hadn’t realized quite how hard he had fallen.

“Yep”, you snapped, internally berating yourself for how harsh your voice had been. You looked up apologetically at Spencer before burying yourself back into the files in front of you. After a few moments of watching you hastily flip through the papers in your hands, he spoke up again.

“It’s just”, he sighed, using his desperate gaze to will you to look back up at him. You, however, had no intentions of having to look at him or anyone else on the team for the rest of the day. “You haven’t been yourself today. And I’m sorry if I’m overstepping, but I care about you, and I can tell something is bothering you. I just want to make sure you are okay”. You scoffed under your breath, rolling your eyes before glaring at him.

“You care about me?”, you harshly asked, “Spencer, if you cared… if any of you cared, you would know what’s wrong”. You had never seen so much hurt in someone’s eyes before. Spencer looked as if you had just ripped his heart out in front of him. He tried to think of what to say, what he could do make it clear that he does care, much more than any colleague should. Just as he opened his mouth to say something, Hotch opened the door and you both turned to look at him.

“The address Garcia sent checked out and JJ and Morgan were able to get our guy”. You and Spencer feigned relieved smiles and nodded. At least you could sleep in your own bed tonight, you thought. “We’ll all meet at the jet in 30, so finish up here and I’ll see you there”, he said, sensing the tension in the room, before turning back to add, “And good job. You all deserve some rest after this case”. He let out a small smile before turning to leave the room. You began to pack up the files, wanting nothing more than to just get on the jet and sleep, and let this horrible day finally end. You looked up to see Spencer still looking at you. The sympathy pooling in his eyes mocked you, a constant reminder of how insignificant you were to those around you who couldn’t even be bothered to wish you a Happy Birthday. You felt your eyes water again, knowing you wouldn’t be able to hold them back this time. You abruptly stood up, throwing your finished paperwork in front of Spencer before practically running out of the room.

“(Y/n)-”, he called out, wanting to just wrap his arms around you and tell you everything would be alright. He just wanted to bring as much happiness into your life as you did his. But, he knew it would be no use. You were clearly upset with him, and he didn’t want to do anything to upset you further. Spencer looked down and picked up the file and began scanning the documents inside. He stopped abruptly, however, when he came across the date written at the top. His heart sank at the realization: It was your birthday.

He thought back to every interaction he saw you have today, and couldn’t recall anyone wishing you a Happy Birthday. He felt like the biggest idiot and worst friend in the world. His heartbeat quickened as he tried to figure out what he could do to make it up to you. The case had been so long and draining, all the days had bled together. He even had a gift for you in his bag, which he brought in the event that the case went on longer than anticipated. He couldn’t believe how stupid he was. He had been planning this for weeks and he forgot. He quickly grabbed his things, racing outside in hopes you hadn’t left yet. His chest deflated when he got outside and saw you had already left, taking one of the SUVs’ with you, only leaving one for him and Hotch, meaning he couldn’t even leave until Hotch was ready. He fell to the ground and sat on the curb with his head in his hands. He pulled out the neatly wrapped gift in his satchel, cursing himself for not realizing sooner.

When you got to the tarmac, you made your way onto the jet, avoiding everyone there. Derek reached out to stop you, curious as to why you had been acting off today, but you shrugged his hand off your arm and brushed past. The rest of the team looked at each other will confused glances as you situated yourself at the back of the jet.

When Spencer and Hotch finally arrived, they quickly got onto the jet, eager to get home. When Spencer stepped inside, he saw you curled in the back and his heart broke even more. Derek pulled him out of his miserable gaze and motioned for him to sit across from him and JJ. Spencer took the empty seat next to Emily and looked up guiltily at Derek.

“What’s up with (Y/n)? She’s been acting weird all day”, he asked, concern lacing his voice.

“Yeah”, Emily added, “She was out of it this morning, but I thought she was just tired. Now, I’m not so sure”. Spencer sighed, not knowing how to tell everyone they were the worst friends in the world.

“Spence, what is it?”, JJ pressed, knowing he clearly knew what was bothering you.

“We uh-”, he shook his head, “It’s her birthday”. Everyone gasped, realization hitting them.

“No”, Emily shook her head, “her birthday isn’t for another two days, it’s on the…”, she stopped, having realized the days got away from her, and it was in fact, your birthday.

“Ugh!”, JJ hissed, “What should we do?”

“I’ll call Garcia. If anyone can get reservations at that fancy restaurant (Y/n) likes it’s her”, Derek said while taking out his phone. Everyone solemnly nodded, still in disbelief that they could have forgotten something as important as your birthday. Spencer tried to listen to their plans, but all he heard was muffles. His entire focus was on you.

“I-I’m going to go talk to her. Make sure I, uh, we didn’t screw up too bad”, he said while getting up, making sure to take his satchel with him. The group nodded as he stood up, cringing as Garcia’s curses could be heard through the phone.

As Spencer approached your seat, you looked up at him. Your eyes were puffy and your cheeks had tear stains running down them. Spencer resisted the urge to hold your face and wipe away the tears that tarnished your beautiful face.

“Can I sit down?”, he whispered, fearful that even talking too loud would cause you more damage than he had already done. You softly nodded, and he slowly sat down in the seat next to you. You bit your top lip, timidly meeting his gaze. “(Y/n)”, he stated, hesitantly placing his hand on yours, “I’m so sorry. I-I had everything planned, and then this case got really crazy. Everyone was tired and frustrated, and I know that’s no excuse, but I just need you to understand”, he rambled, “I never wanted this to happen. And then this morning you were really distant, which you had every right to be, and then I tried to figure out what happened until I realized nothing did. And that’s the problem, we all did nothing”, he sniffed, “Then you said I didn’t care, and (Y/n)”, he grabbed your hand more securely, looking into your eyes, “I care so much. I hated seeing you so upset all day. It broke my heart”, he choked out between tears that matched the ones trailing down your face, “And I’m so sorry I was the cause of your pain”, he gasped, squeezing his eyes closed.

“Spence, i-it’s okay, calm down”, you rubbed your thumb over the back of his hand, “it’s okay”, you soothed. He melted into your touch and his breathing calmed down.

“Happy Birthday”, he whispered, looking deep into your eyes. A smile crept its way to your face at his words, a warmth radiating out from the pit you had felt in your stomach all day. He reached into his satchel and pulled out a small box, neatly wrapped in dark blue wrapping paper with a small gold bow on top. “Here”, he said, handing it to you, “I’m so sorry I forgot to give this to you earlier. I just need you to know that I didn’t forget about you, I just may have momentarily lost track of time”, he frowned. Your eyes softened and you placed a gentle kiss on his cheek.

“Thank you, Spencer, this means more than you will ever know”, you smiled, taking the gift, your hands brushing against each other as you did.

“Well, don’t thank me yet, you don’t even know what it is”, he joked, feeling better now that he got to see your mesmerizing smile. You laughed, shaking your head as you began to unwrap the gift.

“You know, just having people like you in my life is the only gift I need”, you half-joked, smirking at him as you finished opening your present. Before opening the box, you looked up into his eyes, your demeanor much more serious, “And, I’m sorry too, Spencer. I shouldn’t have said you guys don’t care. I know you care, and I’m sorry for doubting that”.

“I know”, he said, caressing your shoulder, “But come on, just open your gift already”, he smiled giddily.

“Okay, okay”, you laughed, “It’s almost like you are more excited about this than me and-”, your giggles stopped as you saw what was inside the box. “Spencer”, you gasped, looking up at him. “You. Did. Not”, you squealed. Spencer smiled bigger than he knew was possible when your face lit up. You picked up the two pieces of paper, still not fully comprehending you were holding two tickets to go see your favorite band in two weeks. You looked up at Spencer, “But, how?”, you questioned in disbelief. “I tried so hard to get tickets to go see them when they went on sale like seven months ago. H-how did you…”, you trailed off, excitement and adoration flooding your brain.

“Well, I overheard you mention how much you love them to Garcia once, and I have my ways”, he smirked while wiggling his eyebrows at you.

“You, Dr. Spencer Reid, are something else”, you laughed, shaking your head.

“I hope that’s a good thing”, he meekly teased.

“It is a great thing”, you smiled, lost in his eyes. Not knowing what to say next, you both sat there, looking into the other’s eyes, feeling as though your hearts would beat out of your chest. Eventually, you broke away from his gaze, figuring he still deserved a bit of teasing. “So um, two tickets? Guess I get to bring someone along?”, you asked, looking up at him innocently.

“Uh, y-yeah, well, I um. I figured-”, he stumbled over his words, acutely aware of how his cheeks flushed.

“I wonder if Emily would like to go”, you cut him off, “or maybe JJ. She deserves a night of fun away from her kids”.

“No!”, he abruptly stated. “I-I mean, no. I thought we could go together”, he said, not able to make eye contact. You smiled at how cute he was when he was flustered.

“Oh”, you amused. “I would love that”, you said, squeezing his hand.

“Really?”, he questioned, his eyes lighting up at your words.

“Of course”, you said matter of factly, as if it were that obvious. He smiled and hummed in response, bringing your hand to hip lips and placing a kiss on your knuckles. You smiled back at him, relishing in the comfortable silence that had fallen between the two of you.

“Oh!”, he said, startling you as you looked up at him, “um, are you free tonight?”, he asked. Your heart picked up its pace once again at the implications of his words.

“Yeah, I am”, you smiled, “why?”, you asked excitedly.

“Well, we all feel really bad. So, we got reservations to that restaurant you love for later tonight”, he smiled, a hint of guilt still present in his eyes.

“Oh”, you sighed, trying to mask the disappointment in your voice.

“Unless you don’t want to go. We can do whatever you want. Today is all about you”, he rushed as he spoke, trying to reassure you.

“No”, you saw the panic that swarmed his face in fear of messing up again, and you gently cupped his cheek with your hand. He leaned into your touch, his anxiety visibly subsiding. “I guess, I just hoped you were asking me to dinner just the two of us”, you trailed off, looking expectantly into his eyes.

“Like a date?”, he asked, starting to understand what you were saying.

“Yes, like a date”, you replied, biting your top lip, “If that is something you would want”, you smiled up at him. Spencer couldn’t get a response out quick enough before his lips were pulled towards you as if they were magnetic. When your mouths connected you softened into his touch. You smiled into his mouth after a few moments of kissing, happiness flooding your brain.

“Happy Birthday”, Spencer whispered into your ear. His hot breath tickled your skin and you let out an excited giggle.

“Yes”, you laughed, leaning back into him, “a very Happy Birthday to me”.

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fox-guardian · 4 years

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title idea: tma spoilers

anon how does it feel to have the biggest brain on this site

#fg's answers #asks #OHHHHHHH I LOVE THE SPOILER IDEA #AUGGGGH I MIGHT USE THIS ONE

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bipercabeth · 4 years

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Camp rock 2 is literally THE SAME plot as HoO. Like the underdog camp that’s a way healthier environment and everyone likes more vs the rly intense camp where everyone’s like. Chill. I’ve thought ab this au for YEARS and I’m glad it’s finally getting the RESPECT it deserves

anon how does it feel to have the biggest brain on this site

#yes this is bc u agreed with me #iris messages #anon

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strawberriesan-creampie · 3 years

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Umm.. Why don't you talk about using drugs on your page? I can tell just by looking thru your pics haha it's easy to tell. It's like you are being fake with your audience 😆

🤨🤨🤨

first off. i'm disgustingly honest about many, many things on this site. things that others will never be able to be honest with themselves about. by no means am i claiming to be a pure, 100% honest person - i am far from it. but!, just because i didn't go out of my way to throw out one piece of information about my-real life-self, does not mean i am being "fake"? had anyone asked me about it, i would've answered both truthfully and publicly. i'm not trying to portray to be someone i'm not. i'm just me.

yes. i have, do, and always will struggle with addiction. i am an addict.

being that i am - and after witnessing both first and secondhand, just how fucking dark addiction truly is.. how easily it wrecks lives. breaks hearts. destroys the actual addict themselves - i fucking refuse to post or tell stories about any hard drugs. regardless of whether i'm in recovery, or active addiction. you're not gunna see it happen. all that does is glamorize it, and will desensitize both:

a.) those who are highly susceptible to addiction: to the severity, dangers, impact, etc. of hard drugs, and

b.) addicts, themselves: to the harshness of their very own reality.

it definitely had those effects on me, anyway. i used to post about it, too. hell, back then, my blog didn't contain any content that wasn't of or about hard drugs. so, with that said - i won't post about it, but i'm also not gunna throw shade at anyone who does. i've been there. i know how lonely it gets. sometimes, you just need to feel like you belong to something. ironically, though, that's also where i find issue with it.

*this is gunna be a long one, folks. also, consider this a potential tw.*

you see - i used to fuckin' despise the drug that finally sunk its' claws into me, and anyone who used it. back then, i thought i personally knew what addiction was. i mean; i wasn't okay mentally unless i was fucked up, always went hard as fuck with anything i could get my hands on, etc. so.. "addiction, right?" lmao. NOPE. not even close. back then, i had no fucking idea what addiction really was. i just thought i did. i say it all the time, now - how i wish i could go back and laugh in my own face, each and every single time my prior self had said that. there's a huge difference between addictive tendencies/habits forming, annnd actual full blown addiction. not just a huge difference - an astronomical fuckin' difference.

every addict has their "drug of choice". one drug in particular that they can never get enough of. one that grabs hold - and regardless of if we're able to tune it out - will have that hold on us until the day we fuckin die. every addict has their very own poison. the day i said 'fuckkit', and asked for a taste of what i now know to be mine? changed everything. i fell in love immediately. 'she' bent me over, no lube, made me 'her' fucking bitch - yet i'd run back; begging, pleading for more. and more. and more. as much as i loved every minute of it, though - i also felt like the world's biggest hypocrite. i had brutally severed quuuite a few long term friendships without a second thought, ..all because they had been doing the exact. fucking. substance., i was now doing.

so, where did i go to comfort myself? seeking reassurance and like-minded people? where i always went, of course. tumblr. i looked up a particular tag, and within minutes discovered an entirely different side to tumblr. a side that - i had, for YEARS - somehow not known to exist. the shit isn't just talked about. it's fucking GLORIFIED. to the upmost degree possible - and still is, to this very day. being a young adult in active addiction for the first time; never having had any support system, no real family, not a single adult role model to be heard of - i found a "family". on that side of tumblr.

"wow.. look. they're all broken, too. they don't have family, either. they get it. they actually fucking get it. i finally found my people! and, - see? this one's been using for a decade, and she's okay. her and her husband seem relatively happy, they maintain their jobs, they still function in their day-to-day lives. that one's been using for four years, she's good. they're all fine. i'm a tough bitch. it's sucked, don't get me wrong, but i've always had the will power to stop doing whatever drugs i was abusing, whenever needed. or, hell, even when it was just something i wanted. i know what addiction is, and i have complete control over mine. this will be just like any other drug i've binged. easy-peasy, now stop worrying."

that. that, right. the fuck. there, man; is why i absolutely refuse to so much as casually post about it. i don't want ANY young adult to ever look at my blog, and see something their brains use to justify themselves abusing hard drugs. i don't want my blog to be the reason they glamorize a substance that is actively killing them. destroying their brain. influencing every single decision made. i don't want my blog to be the reason they wake up one day, and realize that they no longer recognize themselves in the fucking mirror.

i know it wouldn't actually be my fault - just like it wasn't any of the users i followed faults', either. i can't extinguish the fire that is that side of tumblr, it's out of any one person's control. but i can sure as fuck actively choose not to pour kerosene on the sonofabitch.

so. after i publish this post, i'm going to immediately go back to not ever speaking of it on my blog. and no, anon - that doesn't make me "fake".

gtfoh. 🖕🏻👋🏻😘

#asks #answered asks #anon ask #goin' off again; sorry guys lol #officially naming you #hateranon #drug tw #addiction tw

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beachwae · 3 years

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Tarzan who doesn’t say too much (Austin Backyardigans) vs Tank Man New. Grounds? Ugh time !!! :) (tank man new grounds is mean and a dumbass >:( whereas Austin Backyardigans has done nothing wrong ever, in his life, and shares brain cell custody with Uniqua.)

So true anon. how does it feel to have the biggest brain and best opinions on this hell site

#ask ask #backyardigans

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rayewriting · 4 years

Text

Rain and Thunder

Fandom: Batman

This is a request from an anon (from a while ago):

" “Who did this?” For Jason and Damian or Tim and Damian "

Also if you think I need to tag something else (like triggers or something) please tell me! I want everyone to enjoy this site safely! Also also, I can't think of a good title for this right now, might change the name later (if you have a suggestion let me know).

“Now get going, ya hear? It’s going to rain soon.”

Red Hood was doing his normal routine swing around Crime Alley having just sending a couple street kids towards the Martha Wayne kids home for the night when he chances a glance around the old warehouse portion of the area when he hears a crash. He pats down his belts and does a mental list of what weapons he still had ammo for, then ducks into one of the nearest buildings. After looking through the first floor and finding nothing but layers of dust, he moves on to the second floor, from his spot on the stairs he sees a trail of disturbed dust. Staying to the shadows, Red Hood follows the trail, then he finds the reason for his unease: an unconscious Robin in a pool of blood.

But it wasn’t Robin, it was Damian. The little dude wasn’t in his traffic light color uniform, but his civvies surrounded by pushed over crates and boxes. Red Hood does not panic, so when he feels his heart stop and all his breath leave him, he keeps his ears open and eyes sweeping the room for any movement. Red Hood does not let himself be lost in his head, so when his mind starts asking things like “Where’s Bruce? What happened? Where’s the bomb? Where is the Joker?”, he shuts his brain off and goes off his instincts. They tell him to check the little guy and get them the heck out of there and deal with the ramifications later, so he checks Damian’s breathing, pick him up, and bolts out of the warehouse. He knows he should go to the Batcave, but he doesn’t know if Damian could make it there, so he plots the fastest way to one of his safehouses and jumps.

Red Hood does his best not to jerk the kid too much, but without any type of transportation, he is stuck with jumping across roofs and parkouring his way to a safehouse while keeping one arm around the bleeding tyke and the other on his grappling hook.

Just as it starts pouring rain, he lands close to one of his more stocked safehouses and undoes the locks in the least graceful way possible, but he gets the kid in, shucks off his gloves. When he starts to pull his head out of his helmet, a clap of thunder jars a thought: he should tell someone he has the kid. He ignores it for now, now is when he needs to focus on getting Damian stable enough to be left alone so he can call someone. Thus, he starts a basic examination; Damian has multiple cuts, a splattering of bruises, and enough blood loss that is the biggest concern. He starts an IV line and begins to get blood in the kids system, then checks Damian’s head for any major bumps and wraps it in gauze, after that he disinfects and stitch the larger sword slices close before moving to bandage the smaller wounds close.

Finally, roughly an hour later, when he can take a break, he takes stock of his bedroom/mini med center. Damian is laying on the bed, more bandages than skin showing, no doubt with a concussion, a few broken ribs, and a makeshift IV line working through another bag of blood. He picks up a couple of empty saline and blood bags throws them in a bag to dispose them when lightning strikes and the clap of thunder follows shortly after and his eyes land on his thrown helmet and remembers the thought from earlier. He needs to call someone, so he picks up his phone with a secured line and stumbles to a chair in the corner of the bedroom, before he calls the first person he thinks of.

“Wayne Residence, I’m afraid that we are very busy at the moment,” the British voice comes from the speaker.

“Hey Alfred.”

“Master Jason, I-“

“Its fine, Alfred. I actually called with some good news, I found something of yours. About 4’10” black hair-“

He can feel the relief through the phone, though Alfred does not sigh or raise his voice, “You found Master Damian? I’m so glad, someone took him from school during lunch today. But nevermind that, where are you both?” He tells Alfred the address of the safehouse, about Damian’s injuries, then they both make a plan to get Damian to the Batcave.

After finishing his call, Jason slumps his shoulders, he feels his thoughts finally attack. Where was Bruce? Dick? Everyone else? Did Damian run off again? Damian was more important than Jason so were they looking for him? Why didn’t they call him? Did he get to Damian in time? What if he didn’t get to Damian in time? What if Damian ended up like Jason did? Alone in a warehouse, waiting for someone to help, bu—

“-dd. Todd. Breathe, Todd. Can you hear me?” a voice was calling out to him. Jason’s head shot up and forced his breathing and heart to slow to a normal pace. He holds up a finger, he just needs a second. He sees the IV drip from the bag to the tube (he ignores the sight of green hair). He listens to the rain hit the glass of the window, the clap of thunder, Damian’s breathing (he ignores the sound of a laughter). He tastes the copper of blood from his bitten lip (he ignores the taste of ash). He feels his heart beat in his chest, the cold vented air prick at his skin (he ignores the feeling of a strike from a crow bar). He smells the dirt on his uniform (he ignores the smell of smoke).

After a few minutes, with his heart and breathing slower, Jason chokes out, “Yes, I can hear you. How are you feeling?”

“I am better than I was earlier,” Damian says, though that does not comfort Jason in the slightest. Once Jason feels less lightheaded, he stands and sweeps his eyes across Damian. Damian lays stock still, though the blanket has shifted so Jason can tell that Damian tried to sit up at least.

“That’s good, I guess.”

“What time is it?”

“From what I can tell, you hit your head pretty hard, do you have problem remembering anything?”

“My memory is fine, thank you, Todd.”

“That’s great. Who did this?” Jason asks, expecting a fight for an answer, but willing to go a few rounds, Crime Alley was his no matter what Bruce said. However, what Jason did not expect was Damian to look at the blanket covering him and beginning to mumble into the fabric. So instead of letting go of a sigh, Jason asks, “I’m sorry, what did you say?”

“… my mother…”

#RayeWriting #Damian Wayne #Jason Todd #batman fanfiction #batfam fanfiction

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bigskydreaming · 4 years

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Different anon.. precious things is one of the biggest Dick & Damian writers, mostly fluff and some heavy angst, not many other stuff.. She's Dawn'sEternalLight on ao3. Cdelphiki is Tim centric. Don't know about mother of darkness. I've only read one short Dick & Dami fic by cdelphiki but she is very popular. Anyways have you read anything on ao3 by Fido the finch? Saw an angsty fic during Dick & Damian week... Anyways x2, I understand that you dislike dickb*bs? May I know why? Simply curious.

Thanks for letting me know! I DO recognize the name Dawn’sEternalLight and have read a bunch of her stuff on Ao3 and liked a lot of her fluff! I’m not sure if I’ve bookmarked any of her fics yet on my bookmark recs list, but they’re all good, that I’ve read so far, and she’s got enough and I’m still working my way through a lot of the older fics on the site that like....I probably have just been waiting til I get to one of her fics that’s like “Yes, this one above all the others!” to bookmark, because like....I mostly like to just bookmark one or two fics by the same author, because its easy to find an author’s other works when looking to see if they’ve written anything else, and I try and keep my bookmarks page relatively short because once it gets too long it becomes intimidating to my ADHD brain and I don’t even use it anymore, and I tend to assume other people are like that too, lol.

I’m not sure about Fidothefinch....again, I feel like I recognize the name, but not in any specific context, like, it could have been on Ao3 or could have been I saw their name on a tumblr post somewhere....nothing specific is springing to mind for them, but I’ll check them out as well, thanks.

As for Dick/Babs......tbh, I wouldn’t say I dislike them, in the sense that I’m not totally opposed to them and could be lured in by the right fic or dynamics....its just that on their own, based just on their canon dynamics, that ship just....isn’t my favorite? Like, I don’t really have specific complaints or criticisms about it, its more just a general vibe where like, for whatever reason or likely multiple reasons, the general tone and feel of them in canon just doesn’t gel with what I look for or like most in Dick’s relationships specifically. I like Babs in and of herself, but Dick’s one of my Big Four all time fave characters and the one I project on to most, and thus am REALLY here for, so like, not gonna lie, he’s always my priority when reading fics and canon, and I feel like both tend to prioritize Babs in their relationship to a degree that’s just slightly uncomfortable to me?

Like I freely admit there’s personal projection and bias at work here, but....I’ve always kinda implicitly read something somewhat patronizing from Babs to Dick in most of their canon relationship issues and fics of them. Its like there’s this idea that Babs can do no wrong, and she’s never at fault for any of the problems in their relationship, its always just Dick and his Issues, which she of course does not contribute to in any way....or at least that’s how it feels to me.

I mean, people mention the age gap between them, and I don’t think its enough of a gap or one that in the right contexts can’t work, so its like not a dealbreaker in and of itself...theoretically...its just in practice, in how the relationship is most commonly executed in everything I’ve read.....the mention of the age gap tends to go hand in hand with this unspoken understanding that Babs is of course more mature than Dick and older and wiser, and that its ultimately his juvenile behavior that causes most of their commitment issues, and like....when you’re talking about a guy who has been engaged in adult heroics and life or death situations since he was ten years old....the ‘he’s too juvenile to really be her equal’ take to ANY degree just flat out doesn’t work for me, y’know?

So its not that I’m strictly opposed to it or anything, its just....I’ve yet to ever come across a definitive story that really SELLS it for me and brings it to life in a way that I’m like...yes, this....I had not considered this depiction before but now that I’ve seen it or thought about it I love it and want more.

Does that make sense?

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cassianjerons · 5 years

Text

fandom compliment 💕

so since today is the birthday of one of my favorite people on this hellish website and they decided to help host a fandom compliment day in honour of it - because that’s the kind of wonderful and thoughtful human rust is - i am going to attempt to do them justice by sending some kind words to all the wonderful people who shaped my fandom experience over the past two and a half years in all kinds of beautiful, thoughtful, hilarious and amazing ways.

i never made some overdramatic “i am leaving the fandom” post, because for one that’s not me, but also because i might have been able to quit the show, but i don’t have any interest in quitting on the people. and this feels far more productive anyway.

oh, and if you hadn’t realised yet, hello again, it’s the artist formerly known as @vicbartons! so let’s do this thing:

(under a cut, because this is going to get really long and quite possibly soppy)

(also go and send rust @rustandruin some love for their birthday while you’re at it, because they deserve it)

@aarobron lucy! my football buddy! seriously, if you happen to have sold your soul to a football club like the two of us have, lucy is the one you want to talk to about it. but aside from the fact that this girl is a wealth of football knowledge, she also happens to be hilarious and smart and passionate, which makes her a freaking joy to talk to at all times.

@aarondingel haley is an absolute angel of a human who is full of love and support for the people she cares about. she’s thoughtful and kind and there is no one else in this world i would rather vehemently disagree about fiction with than her. bantering, chatting and laughing with her has been one of my favourite things about being part of this fandom and let’s not forget about how she always fills my dashboard with all kinds of gorgeous gifs.

@aceliv rhia has the kindest soul and the biggest heart and never fails to brighten up my dashboard with her positive energy, which is worth a hole damn lot on an average day, but even more so in a fandom that at times tends to drown in negativity and upset.

@bartsugsy this fandom and i personally would be so much poorer if it weren’t for lo’s wit and humour and her talent at boiling everything we love about emmerdale and robron into perfect text posts. her blog is always a joy to read and at the end of the day that is down to what a wonderful, thoughtful, kind and caring gem of a human lo is.

@capseycartwright lorna is honestly an inspiration in about a hundred different ways and seeing her learn and grow and achieve her goals over the past few years from afar has been absolutely wonderful. she’s smart and thoughtful and witty and compassionate. honestly, lorna comes across as the type of person, who you hope to run into when you're sad and drunk in a club bathroom because there is no doubt in my mind that she would have tissues and good advice at hand for you before calling you a taxi. and don’t even get me started on how freaking talented of a writer she is.

@charitydingle kayleigh is cool and witty and fun and kind and just a joy to follow. also, she loves charity and everyone who does is a goodun in my book.

@dingleminyard so. much. freaking. talent. all of coralie’s gifs and edits are art and we’re lucky to have her around.

@dingletragedy sophie! quite possibly my mutual with the best taste in music? maybe so. chatting with her is always a blast because she’s not only witty and lovely but also incredibly talented and being able to follow along as she started dipping her toes into writing over the past few months has been an absolute joy, especially because of how brilliant she is at it. and not to get too soppy on main, but after seeing her struggle every now and again in the past but also work so damn hard, i just hope that she is at least as proud of herself for graduating uni at the moment as i was when i saw that pic of her and her flipping finished dissertation this past week.

@escapingreality51 amelia is an inspiration tbh. seeing her struggle with her mental health and bad brain days but always getting back up again, fighting, and turning her feelings and experiences into some of the most emotional, heart-felt, real and beautiful writing i have ever seen is incredible and i hope that she is incredibly proud of herself for all of it. seeing her grow and achieve her goals has been the most gorgeous side product of following her blog, though just having her kind, calm and caring presence on my dashboard would already have been enough. she’s the kind of person i would never hesitate to come to with a problem. she’s also the kind of person to write fanfiction that will make you want to fall in bone-shaking, devastating, can’t keep your heartbeat under control kinda love.

@forgottenwounds there are few people on this site i have talked to as much over the past two years as erin and i wouldn’t want it any other way. discussing things with her never failed to make fandom more fun to me and because she’s not only fun and a sucker for details, but also incredibly smart and opinionated in the best of ways, i rarely leave our conversations without feeling a little bit smarter than before or having gained a new perspective on things and it’s the absolute best. she also happens to be a badass at work, putting in tons of love and effort and time into making the word a bit of a better place and i respect the hell out of her for it.

@frecklysugden lauren is kind and funny and caring and i wish she would wake up every morning seeing herself the way i and so many others see her, because she is a ray of sunshine and smarts and wittiness and deserves to take on the world and make it her own. she also happens to be able to write stories that will feel like a punch to your gut in all the best and worst ways and have you crying happy or sad tears into your pillow at two in the morning, because you just couldn’t resist clicking that “next chapter” button just one last time before going to bed. also, sidenote: quality taste in music. that feels a bit tagged on now after all the soppy stuff, but it needed to be said.

@inloveamateursatbest claudia has great taste in tv. let’s start with that, because that is what has lead me to have some of the best, most thoughtful and most fun conversations on this hellsite with her. just talking to her about stuff often makes me feel a little bit smarter and there is no one i would rather scream about skinny, blonde, nightmarish male characters who are hiding a massive heart under layers and layers of insecurities and issues with than her. that aside, she also happens to be an incredibly kind and thoughtful human, with a heart full of wit and gold. what more could you really ask for?

@inthedreamatorium keri and i have sadly never talked much, but she is just one of those hilarious, warm and wonderful presences on my dashboard that i don’t want to imagine my tumblr experience without.

@josephtate the first thing i think about when i think of fiona, is how her fics always manage to feel like a hug or cuddling up under the covers with some tea and a good book, all warm and soft and homely. and it’s the most beautiful. she also happens to be way cooler than i could ever hope to be and just a really kind, lovely, talented human with a wicked taste in music and food.

@justleavemebreathless the gifs! the video edits!! how can a single human be this freaking talented?? and then she also has the biggest heart and is this supportive and positive and lovely?? sounds fake, but it’s not and this fandom is better for having jacqueline in it.

@lesgayliennesdangereuses kate always feels like one of those really rare “best of both worlds” kinda humans. quick-witted and sharp-tongued, but also incredibly kind and thoughtful. critical and intelligent, but also passionate and hilarious. she doesn’t take shit, but still always shows compassion and heart. basically, she is the kind of person who can go back and forth between shitposts about robert and aaron’s horrible fashion choices and thoughtful, educational posts about social justice issues or sexuality with an ease that’s impressive and wonderful.

@letthe3000rain the blog where sarcasm and not taking shit from dumb anons were born. everyone should have a blue on their dashboard as a palette cleanser from all the insanity of fandom and as a witty voice of reason that reminds you that some things maybe shouldn’t be taken so damn seriously. also to excessively discuss the affair era, because that ish is important.

@littlelooneyluna nicole is an absolute wizard with words! the emotions she can pull out of you with just a few lines of dialogue is not only astonishing and wonderful but also an inspiration to everyone who’s ever tried their hand at writing themselves. and that’s before you even touch on the fact that she is one of the kindest souls around, never shy to compliment and support anyone who might need it.

@longlivethefreakinme camille is a funny and supportive angel of a human and i wouldn’t want to imagine my fandom experience without her in it. last but not least, because she shares my love for robert and victoria’s relationship and her blog is always one of the best places to go to for anyone in dire need of a good affair era fix. especially when she stumbles down an emotional rabbit hole again and takes you right down with her in the best way.

@luststricken hannah is an absolute babe, with a plus taste, who makes my fandom experience better just by existing. she’s a wonderful ray of sunshine who fills your dashboard with quality gifs as well as the perfect mix of positive attitude and banter. that and we all need a friend who supports our irrational hatred of a certain adele song that everyone else is weirdly obsessed with, even though it’s overplayed and she has literally dozens of better ones in her repertoire, you know?

@prettyboysugden lucy knows what she’s about and i respect the hell out of her for it. she stands her ground no matter what, but beyond that, she has an incredibly big heart and a kind soul and if that’s not the perfect mix i don’t know what is. oh, and have we talked about her damn writing yet? because dear god, it’s gorgeous.

@robertisbisexual malorie is as outspoken and true to herself as i can only hope to be on my very best days and it impresses the hell out of me tbh. smart and witty and a force of nature, she’s the kind of person you want on your dashboard when everything and everyone around you seems to be drifting off into bullshit territory once again. nevertheless, mal never fails to be kind and thoughtful and considerate. oh, and because all of that apparently wasn’t already enough, she’s one hell of a writer as well. (she’s also a demon who loves to torture me personally with pictures of a certain freakish looking taxidermy faux pas, but i love her anyway.)

@robertjacobsugdens i have rarely met someone on here who was as well-spoken and thoughtful and just astonishingly smart as alex is. when alex takes on a topic of discussion, you can be sure that she isn’t going to half-arse things, but that instead she will show you a different perspective or teach you something you didn’t know before or maybe get you to look up a thing or two on wikipedia, because hearing her talk about things and issues she cares about makes you want to know more about them as well. aside of that, she also happens to be incredibly funny and witty and one hell of a writer. like, dear god, you do not want to know the number of times i have reread each and every one of her AUs…

@sapphicsugden siri always inspires me to try and be a better writer. that’s the first thing that comes to my mind when i think of her, because she is just that ridiculously talented. the way her writing takes you on an emotional journey with every carefully chosen word and phrase is mind-blowing and wonderful and deserves to be screamed at from rooftops tbh. but beyond that, siri is one of the most supportive, intelligent and kind-hearted people i have had the pleasure to meet on this website.

@smittenwithsugden first of all, happiest of birthdays, pauline! i hope it’s an amazing one. now on to the compliments. pauline’s was one of the first emmerdale blogs i stumbled upon and also one of the first fanfic writer’s whose work i read, so i should just take a second to thank her for introducing me to this wonderful mess in the first place. in a lot of ways, she also feels like one of the fandom’s mums. she is the queen of organisation: translating clips, keeping track of directors and writers, planning events left and right and spreading positivity and love while she is at it. her blog is just this wealth of information and support and it’s a gift!

@sugdensquad millie is the person in this fandom who got me into reading wips. who had me desperately waiting for a new update the second i had finished her latest chapter of fic. who dragged me deep into her stories with her insane ability to slowly build a narrative and dig deep with characters and the way she takes all the things you love from canon and somehow manages to make them so much more. who had me reading tens of thousands of words in a single evening when it had been months since i’d last managed to actually finish a book. because that’s how talented she is. and on top of that she also happened to be a wonderful bean when i got talking to her much later on. 1000/10. would recommend.

@thesnowyswan rae has the most supportive and loving energy around. she’s also unafraid to dig deeper and tackle big questions and issues and reading her takes on things, be it through the lens of her fanfic (and goddamnit she is one hell of her writer and reading her work never fails to inspire me) or in her posts always gets me to think more deeply about stuff myself and see things from a new perspective, and i appreciate the hell out of her for that. she’s the kind of person i would always trust to go to for advice, knowing that i would be getting a thoughtful, kind and compassionate answer no matter the issue.

@wycombewanderer husna feels like a breath of fresh air amidst fandom craziness. the way she always comes across as calm and collected and eloquently speaks on all kinds of issues and topics and never fails to teach me a thing or two on the way is not only impressive but also something i massively appreciate. beyond that, she also just has a genuine, warm and kind energy about her that makes my fandom experience far more enjoyable than it would be without her around.

#robron fandom compliment day 2019 #look at me getting over my tagging people anxiety #to make this happen #(also i wrote most of this on my phone so pls excuse any and all typos)#(also i probably forgot a bunch of people and i am very sorry i love ya)

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iamnotbrianmay · 5 years

Text

(English is not my native language so umm sorry for any occurring mistakes? > <)

*shuffles awkwardly* Hi dear I come bearing writing prompts? *nervous laughter* I swear initially they were meant to be short descriptions BUT EVERYTHING GOT TOTALLY OUT OF HAND BY THE END. MY GOD THEY’RE SO DAMN LONG NOW. YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THIS IF YOU DON’T WANT TO (you could take all of them, some of them, one of them or NONE OF THEM ok? Totally fine!) so please don’t feel pressured? :) And you’re welcome to put your own spin on the prompts, pass them onto other writers if they’re interested or to collab with someone else! :D

But seriously though you can also just treat them as littles “stories” from me (aka. your humble little anon fan) to you, intended for your amusement instead of writing requests alright? Sorry to bombard you so suddenly with all this LOL. BTW you’ll see mostly they’re Brian’s POV because that’s just how my brain is wired lol it’s been like that since day 1 I CAN’T HELP IT.

BTW the “His Majesty, KING!” series by chateauofmyheart (I think she’s most known for the Queen + Rare Words series and her Tumblr blog is chateauofmymind) is THE fic that completely changed my perspective on gender swap themes. After reading that I was fascinated by how good it can be in the hands of brilliant writers. Hence all you’re reading right now ahahahaha it’s like a floodgate been opened LOL.

Alright? Here we go with the first one - Modern day!AU, Poly!Fem!Queen(King) with supernatural elements? (I’m still gonna use male names and pronouns here to avoid confusion but at the same time it’s also because of I wanna see what female names you’d bestow upon them! Surprise me then? :D) Brian always has a connection with the “spiritual side” since he was a kid, sometimes he sees auras, energies, spirits and even on very rare occasions, deities. But it’s not as glamour as it sounds and he has learned the hard way to keep this solely to himself since no one will believe him. And to pretend to be “normal” is very important since not everything he sees is harmless, he has to find ways to avoid being haunted by evil beings, but it doesn’t always work; More often than not his health or mood is affected or he’s chased and stalked and has terrible nightmares hence the insomnia. By the time he got to college, though things still got really bad every once in a while but it felt like he has finally beginning to have situations under some semblance of control. Strangely, all these seemed to largely improved right after he became friends with Roger, Freddie and John, BUT inconveniently started pining after them real quick. His usual tactics were to keep his distance from the people around him but this time he’s drawn to them, feeling oddly alone when they’re not together; How sad is that? Falling in love for the first time in his life yet knowing there’s just no way it’s gonna end happily, but they don’t need to know that it’s fine he’s used to being the outcast. Although his first meetings with each of them does feel a little unusual? They sure are a weird bunch for example, who would own so many of candles? And why so many talismans as well? (Very beautiful though all seems to be handmade perhaps they’re just into DIY stuffs and craftsmanship?) Also the look they gave him? Gleam in their eyes akin to excitement and awe, almost predatory in a sense? Not to mention all those cryptic sentences and meaningful glances shared between the three. It sounds crazy but sometimes they gave off such strong “witchy” vibes as if they’re actual witches like the ones in the movies or something (NOT the Harry Potter kind but more like, The Craft? But in a good way?), that being said Brian does have this distinct feeling that they’re in on some kind of secret which he’s not a part of and it makes him feel a bit sad and left out, but he hides his feelings well(me: or so he thinks haha we’re all familiar with this trope yeah? MOVING ON LOL). These three are lovely together, but Brian’s afraid of screwing things up so he kept his mouth shut and just took whatever he can get. Plot twist LOL one night after a horrible near-death incident (caused by a horrendous curse aimed directly at him and much later on he learned that somehow it was powerful enough to break through the “protection ring” which Roger, Freddie and John had cast around him, WTH?!), he’s eventually saved by the other three and now he really wants some answers and perhaps the truth. It turns out that they’re all actual witches with different abilities and incredible powers including the oblivious Brian, Roger, Freddie and John had known this their entire life and all had proper training except for Brian who isn’t from a witchcraft family. Basically the other three have being protecting and guarding him ever since they’ve met (even though he doesn’t know a damn thing about his own gifts, they were very adamant that he belongs to them and their own “coven”). The four of them actually formed one of the most powerful witch coven ever and the curse was cast by another malicious one that’s jealous and afraid of how powerful they’re going to be once Brian realizes his own gifts, so they tried to get rid of him first. Cue a happy Poly!Fem!OT4 ending and a love confession + getting together yeah? :D And they all work on helping Brian to develop and harness his own powers. Love youuuu. (BTW I’m “obsessed” with Gothic aesthetics and vibes. This seems to be the perfect universe for this type of element to shine right? :D Literally everything ranging from character styles to witchcraft tools could be incorporate with it but I don’t think I did a good job in describing. Orz)

And off to the second prompt now! Shall we? :) Modern day!AU, Poly!Fem!Queen(King)? (Or no gender swap is fine too! Again I’m still using male names and pronouns here same reasons as above), It’s around 20:00 when Brian exited his plane. This past one month period of astronomy conference had been an opportunity of a life time and literally one of his biggest dreams. It’s a huge honor for him to be able to participate but after being away from his three lovers for so long, he does miss them terribly; The schedule of the conference is quite hectic and irregular with very little down time though the four of them do try to facetime or skype each other as often as they can, it still is nothing like being with each other in person, not to mention they’re all busy and more often than not had to resort to just texting in their group chat. His heart now flutters happily thinking about home and them. Just as when he’s about to call for a taxi someone’s hand came up around his waist – it’s John! And apparently John had arranged in advance for some people to come and take care of Brian’s luggage, Him however, remains firmly tucked by Brian’s side. Though they’re both not too keen on PDA Brian finds the urge to kiss him incredibly strong right now. John seems to be the same considering the heat in his eyes and if his smirk is anything to go by - “Wanna go for a ride? Our new car’s pretty neat.” “The one that Roger picked?” “Yeah.” “He agreed that you can drive it?” “Well he’s going to have to since the car keys’ being nicked.” “Oh my god John you stole Roger’s car keys?!” “It’s OUR car so technically it’s not stealing.” TBH John’s expression right now is kinda turning him on okay calm down deep breath they’re still in public god damn it. John proceed to guided Brian towards their ride and it is indeed a beautiful car. While John drove Brian asked Roger and Freddie’s whereabouts and got a mysterious smile and a vague “you’ll see” instead. It’s getting quite late and there’s not much traffic on the road so John might be speeding up a bit to enjoy the thrill. Normally Brian would fret over this but now he’s just happy, content and relaxed after coming home and reuniting with his lovers. He even let out an excited little shout and rolled down the window a bit to enjoy the night breeze when John sped up, which John beamed at him. “This isn’t our way home?” “We’re not going home yet.” “And are you gonna tell me where we’re heading?” “You’ll see.” Again with that cryptic-John-smile. They continue to drive up and deep into the mountains and eventually stoping at a lovely camping site with an elegant looking villa, John explained that they’ve booked this whole area exclusively for the next couple of days; They’ve missed him and all wanted to spend some alone time with each other. The weather is nice so it’s a clear starry night sky above and there’s a small bonfire crackling along with Roger and Freddie’s laughter, who are currently sitting beside it. Brian leaned over to John, planting a chaste kiss on his lips and whispered his thanks but apparently John had something else in mind. As soon as Brian began to pull back John shot out his hands and tugged on Brian’s hair just the way he knows how he likes it, that forced a surprised whimper out of Brian’s mouth and John took the opportunity to practically devour him with hungry kisses and tongue. Things heat up fast and Brian’s soft moans quickly became louder as John wasted no time opening up his shirt, caressing all over his chest and pinching his nipples. Brian let out a high-pitched yelp as John bit on his earlobe suddenly and at the same time dipped his hand into his underwear. Then Freddie showed up knocking disapprovingly on the car door window: “Tsk tsk starting without us already? That’s rude darling!.” Hearing this John let go of Brian’s lips, beamed at Freddie and opened the car door but didn’t retrieve his hand. Brian, now flushed and disheveled, looked up and gave Freddie a sheepish smile but abruptly let out another whimper as John started moving his fingers. He bit his lips in embarrassment, trying to contain his noise but quickly released them as John growled, demanding to hear his voice. Seeing this Freddie smirked and quickly bent down, grabbing Brian’s face and pulling him into another round of passionate and possessive kisses, full of teeth and tongue. “Oi! Stealing my car now John?! Wanker.” Roger appeared scowling but John just laughed and so does Freddie, letting go of Brian’s lips. Brian blinked a few times, willing his now distracted brain to focus on locating Roger and wordlessly held out his hands, beckoning him closer. Roger moved nearer and hummed his appreciation at the current sight on display, taking hold of both of Brian’s wrists with one hand, ran his other one over Brian’s exposed chest and suddenly pinched his nipple perfectly in time with John, who’s fingers just did something amazing inside Brian’s underwear. Brian moaned loudly and arched his back, feeling his orgasm approaching embarrassingly fast but soon let out a confused whimper when he felt John retrieving his touches. Roger laughed, nuzzled behind his ears and growled, “Only if you beg prettily enough.” Then he tugged him up and gestured towards the villa. “Let’s go and make good use of that giant bed.” Freddie nodded, agreeing with Roger, eyes drinking in the sight in front of him and licked his lips. “I’ll put out the bonfire then. Don’t start anything fun without me!” He kissed Brian once more, heatedly and full of promises of more to come, bit his lips playfully and quickly head towards the fire. “I was gonna make him come once before we go inside but your idea is quite tempting.” John smirked at Roger. “Will you do as Roger says love? Beg prettily for us? Should we allow you to come at all?” “Pleasepleaseplease.” Brian could only whimper, already feeling the familiar heavenly float that could only come from being cared for by his lovers. “Good boy. We’re gonna take such good care of you now, you can let go.” Roger began running his hand through Brian’s hair alongside with John, waiting for Freddie to return. Cue a steamy, sexy and loving Poly!Fem!(or not fem)OT4 night yeah? And there may or may not be a huge jacuzzi in the villa that they all made good use of. <3333

Okay now prompt number 3 is the standard type that one usually gets in their askbox if a writer is open for requests - Your take on in the Poly!Queen universe how would Freddie persuaded/convinced/forced?(XD) Brian to play harp for Love of My Life (and why Brian specifically? Besides all the rational reasons for him to be that person, you might be able to come up with something that’s outside the box? :D) and how the whole “Brian eventually constructed the song from piano onto acoustic guitar for live performances” business came about? Do you ever wonder why it’s not Freddie on the piano playing and singing like what he’s done with other songs? Or why not Brian on the piano while Freddie sings like the beginning of their live performances for Save Me? (AGAIN besides all the rational reasons behind it I’m still interested in your take. :P Have you read that Brian’s interview in which he says he thinks Freddie sees him as his own personal Jimi Hendrix and basically said that they’re gonna do this together? And those early year interviews regarding their album A Night at the Opera in which Freddie said he’s gonna make Brian play the harp until his hands drop off LOL and how Freddie describe the harp as the big thingy that angels play? Yeah Freddie we know that Brian’s your angel and SOUL BROTHER ahhhh I’m making myself emotional now QQ)

Ready for prompt number 4? Last one for now haha I think my brain is drying up lol. It just shows how amazing writers are! I salute you! You are wonderful. <333 Poly!Queen? Hot Space!Era (AUish)?, starting with them having a really rough time in the studio and it had been going on for quite a while (Prenter’s presence and words definitely didn’t help. It only gets worse and for some reason Brian has this feeling that he’s been singled out as target) and a particularly nasty fight broke out one day and even more unfortunate is that the fight got personal. And of course it has something to do with the infamous diss track: Back Chat (the fandom seems to think this song is aimed at Brian? though we will never know the truth ummm), Brian left the studio in the end (bitterly he denies the voices in his head calling him a coward for running away. He just wanted some fresh air, and maybe some alcohol in a bar that his bandmates do not frequent so he wouldn’t be found). Somehow, a band that’s also on the rise of fame managed to track him down while he was trying to numb himself quickly by getting plastered. They then offered a pretty sweet deal of him leaving Queen (“Since they don’t seem to love you anymore.” One of them murmured softly to him and hearing this is like been stabbed through the heart.) and joining them instead, not just as the song writer and lead guitarist but also as the lead vocalist of the band, basically saying that he could have everything; Strangely, it turns out that they actually had some “inside information” regarding of what’s been going on in Queen and had been following for a while, all of them keen on taking Brian’s side. Through the drunken fog in his brain his heart sank. Queen has already established the reputation of being a tight unit especially after their success, generally people respect their close bond with each other so there hasn’t been any “headhunting” propositions for a VERY long time; The fact of it appearing again now out of all times only brought out senses of dread, thoughts immediately heading to a dark place in which all the worst-case scenarios resides: is this actually his bandmates asking him to leave through a third party? Are they so fed up with him that they couldn’t even stand to break the news in person? Is this them breaking up with him? He’s suddenly so cold and dizzy that he started swaying unsteadily, the band then quickly offered to bring him back to their own brand-new recording studio for a tour and maybe some rest. Feeling drunk and resigned Brian just watched silently with half lidded eyes as they maneuvered him out of his seat. As they were about to usher him out of the bar suddenly all motion stopped as the band abruptly came face to face with Roger (eyes narrowed and fists balled, obviously fuming), Freddie (seemingly nonchalant with raised eyebrow but his coiled muscles as if ready for a fight totally says otherwise) and John (his face somehow even more unreadable than usual, eyes glinting ominously). Sensing the atmosphere shift, those who were around Brian all collectively took a step back and for some unknown reason, a few guilty looks appeared on some of their faces. Brian started swaying again without the support and Freddie quickly appeared besides Brian, wrapping tightly around him and helped carrying his weight. However, still feeling angry and devasted Brian tried to wriggle out of his embrace but found himself drunk and too slow and did not have the strength at to pry open Freddie’s “iron grip” at all (yeah how could he forget that Freddie is in fact a damn good athlete and a boxer, John also joined him in the gym these days these two often had great fun together). Sensing Brian’s struggle Freddie only wordlessly tightens his hold; Brian eventually gave up trying to get free after a few attempts instead just bit his lips (nervous habit kicking in now) and looked away, unwilling to face his three bandmates and lovers. “Where the hell do you think you’re taking OUR guitarist to?” Roger snarled, also coming up besides Freddie to help supporting Brian. After a quick check up on him, he frowned when he found that Brian’s skin is cold and clammy. “It’s great that you guys want to look out for OUR Brimi, but we’ll take it from here now.” There’s a storm brewing behind Freddie’s eyes, dismissal clear in his voice. Yet in the same time he’s very mindful of the drunk Brian now stiffly resides in his and Roger’s arms, careful to not cause him anymore physical discomfort. “It seems that a certain rat has been feeding you all kinds of information on us? Things that he’s not supposed to pry and definitely not supposed to blab about?” With a dark edge to his voice, John stepped forward, staring down at the few guilty faces in front of him, smiling cold and sharp. “Well he’s not around anymore, make of that what you will.” Slowly Brian blinked up at John through his drunken haze in surprise, it has to be Prenter that they’re talking about, right? But how— “Let’s get back to the hotel, Bri’s not feeling so well.” Roger grunted, tugging the other three out of the bar impatiently, his hold on Brian is steadfast and unwavering. “Come on guys, get in the car.” “Please come back with us Brimi? We know that you’re still hurting but I promise you, we’re gonna get through this together, alright?” Well now that’s just unfair, Freddie’s bringing out his nickname now in that soft tone AND looking at him like he’s something precious, really not fair at all. Brian could only nod, not trusting his voice yet but Freddie beamed brightly at him. “I’m sorry, baby. We’ll all have a long talk and fill you in on the details of Prenter after you get some rest okay?.” Now that’s just cheating. They’re in the car now and John’s petting his hair oh so gently, expertly lulling him to sleep. Cue the OT4!boys have a long hard talk about EVERYTHING and their relationship that involves lots of shouting, bitching, bickering, crying, apologizing and making up! HAPPY ENDINGS HELL YEAH and the other three explained how the whole Prenter thing came to light and with evidence, they fired him immediately. Also John may or may not have “convinced” (“I’d say threatened is more like it.” Roger snickered.) the other band’s manager to give up the location of the bar that they had sooo enthusiastically called him from, exclaiming Brian May’s about to quit Queen and join them and that they were trying to bring him back to the studio now.

I hope these brightened your day? Maybe if I’m lucky enough they could inspire you a bit? Perhaps they could be accepted as your writing prompts? :P Anyway I love you! Have a beautiful day and life hon. <333

****

Gosh thank you so much for submitting this anon! I really like them and I feel like we could add a lot to them if you wanted to speak to me about your ideas, so shoot me a private dm, yeah?

Also, you have a surprise coming for you in the next few days so stay vigilant of that!

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deaky-disco-queen · 5 years

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(English is not my native language so umm sorry for any occurring mistakes? > <)

*shuffles awkwardly* Hi dear I come bearing writing prompts? *nervous laughter* I swear initially they were meant to be short descriptions BUT EVERYTHING GOT TOTALLY OUT OF HAND BY THE END. MY GOD THEY’RE SO DAMN LONG NOW. YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS IF YOU DON'T WANT TO (you could take all of them, some of them, one of them or NONE OF THEM ok? Totally fine!) so please don’t feel pressured? :) And you’re welcome to put your own spin on the prompts, pass them onto other writers if they’re interested or to collab with someone else! :D

Alright? Here we go with the first one -

Modern day!AU, Poly!Fem!Queen(King) with supernatural elements? (I’m still gonna use male names and pronouns here to avoid confusion but at the same time it’s also because of I wanna see what female names you’d bestow upon them! Surprise me then? :D) Brian always has a connection with the “spiritual side” since he was a kid, sometimes he sees auras, energies, spirits and even on very rare occasions, deities. But it's not as glamour as it sounds and he has learned the hard way to keep this solely to himself since no one will believe him. And to pretend to be "normal" is very important since not everything he sees is harmless, he has to find ways to avoid being haunted by evil beings, but it doesn't always work; More often than not his health or mood is affected or he's chased and stalked and has terrible nightmares hence the insomnia.

By the time he got to college, though things still got really bad every once in a while but it felt like he has finally beginning to have situations under some semblance of control. Strangely, all these seemed to largely improved right after he became friends with Roger, Freddie and John, BUT inconveniently started pining after them real quick. His usual tactics were to keep his distance from the people around him but this time he’s drawn to them, feeling oddly alone when they’re not together; How sad is that? Falling in love for the first time in his life yet knowing there’s just no way it’s gonna end happily, but they don't need to know that it's fine he's used to being the outcast. Although his first meetings with each of them does feel a little unusual? They sure are a weird bunch for example, who would own so many of candles? And why so many talismans as well? (Very beautiful though all seems to be handmade perhaps they’re just into DIY stuffs and craftsmanship?) Also the look they gave him? Gleam in their eyes akin to excitement and awe, almost predatory in a sense? Not to mention all those cryptic sentences and meaningful glances shared between the three.

It sounds crazy but sometimes they gave off such strong "witchy" vibes as if they're actual witches like the ones in the movies or something (NOT the Harry Potter kind but more like, The Craft? But in a good way?), that being said Brian does have this distinct feeling that they're in on some kind of secret which he's not a part of and it makes him feel a bit sad and left out, but he hides his feelings well(me: or so he thinks haha we’re all familiar with this trope yeah? MOVING ON LOL). These three are lovely together, but Brian’s afraid of screwing things up so he kept his mouth shut and just took whatever he can get.

Plot twist LOL one night after a horrible near-death incident (caused by a horrendous curse aimed directly at him and much later on he learned that somehow it was powerful enough to break through the “protection ring” which Roger, Freddie and John had cast around him, WTH?!), he's eventually saved by the other three and now he really wants some answers and perhaps the truth.

It turns out that they're all actual witches with different abilities and incredible powers including the oblivious Brian, Roger, Freddie and John had known this their entire life and all had proper training except for Brian who isn't from a witchcraft family. Basically the other three have being protecting and guarding him ever since they've met (even though he doesn’t know a damn thing about his own gifts, they were very adamant that he belongs to them and their own “coven”). The four of them actually formed one of the most powerful witch coven ever and the curse was cast by another malicious one that's jealous and afraid of how powerful they're going to be once Brian realizes his own gifts, so they tried to get rid of him first.

Cue a happy Poly!Fem!OT4 ending and a love confession + getting together yeah? :D And they all work on helping Brian to develop and harness his own powers. Love youuuu. (BTW I’m “obsessed” with Gothic aesthetics and vibes. This seems to be the perfect universe for this type of element to shine right? :D Literally everything ranging from character styles to witchcraft tools could be incorporate with it but I don’t think I did a good job in describing. Orz)

And off to the second prompt now! Shall we? :)

Modern day!AU, Poly!Fem!Queen(King)? (Or no gender swap is fine too! Again I’m still using male names and pronouns here same reasons as above), It’s around 20:00 when Brian exited his plane. This past one month period of astronomy conference had been an opportunity of a life time and literally one of his biggest dreams. It’s a huge honor for him to be able to participate but after being away from his three lovers for so long, he does miss them terribly; The schedule of the conference is quite hectic and irregular with very little down time though the four of them do try to facetime or skype each other as often as they can, it still is nothing like being with each other in person, not to mention they’re all busy and more often than not had to resort to just texting in their group chat. His heart now flutters happily thinking about home and them.

Just as when he’s about to call for a taxi someone’s hand came up around his waist – it’s John! And apparently John had arranged in advance for some people to come and take care of Brian’s luggage, Him however, remains firmly tucked by Brian’s side. Though they’re both not too keen on PDA Brian finds the urge to kiss him incredibly strong right now. John seems to be the same considering the heat in his eyes and if his smirk is anything to go by -

“Wanna go for a ride? Our new car’s pretty neat.”

“The one that Roger picked?”

“Yeah.”

“He agreed that you can drive it?”

“Well he’s going to have to since the car keys’ being nicked.”

“Oh my god John you stole Roger’s car keys?!”

“It’s OUR car so technically it’s not stealing.” TBH John’s expression right now is kinda turning him on okay calm down deep breath they’re still in public god damn it.

John proceed to guided Brian towards their ride and it is indeed a beautiful car. While John drove Brian asked Roger and Freddie’s whereabouts and got a mysterious smile and a vague “you’ll see” instead. It’s getting quite late and there’s not much traffic on the road so John might be speeding up a bit to enjoy the thrill. Normally Brian would fret over this but now he’s just happy, content and relaxed after coming home and reuniting with his lovers. He even let out an excited little shout and rolled down the window a bit to enjoy the night breeze when John sped up, which John beamed at him.

“This isn’t our way home?”

“We’re not going home yet.”

“And are you gonna tell me where we’re heading?”

“You’ll see.” Again with that cryptic-John-smile.

They continue to drive up and deep into the mountains and eventually stoping at a lovely camping site with an elegant looking villa, John explained that they’ve booked this whole area exclusively for the next couple of days; They’ve missed him and all wanted to spend some alone time with each other. The weather is nice so it’s a clear starry night sky above and there’s a small bonfire crackling along with Roger and Freddie’s laughter, who are currently sitting beside it. Brian leaned over to John, planting a chaste kiss on his lips and whispered his thanks but apparently John had something else in mind.

As soon as Brian began to pull back John shot out his hands and tugged on Brian’s hair just the way he knows how he likes it, that forced a surprised whimper out of Brian’s mouth and John took the opportunity to practically devour him with hungry kisses and tongue. Things heat up fast and Brian’s soft moans quickly became louder as John wasted no time opening up his shirt, caressing all over his chest and pinching his nipples. Brian let out a high-pitched yelp as John bit on his earlobe suddenly and at the same time dipped his hand into his underwear. Then Freddie showed up knocking disapprovingly on the car door window: “Tsk tsk starting without us already? That’s rude darling!.” Hearing this John let go of Brian’s lips, beamed at Freddie and opened the car door but didn’t retrieve his hand. Brian, now flushed and disheveled, looked up and gave Freddie a sheepish smile but abruptly let out another whimper as John started moving his fingers. He bit his lips in embarrassment, trying to contain his noise but quickly released them as John growled, demanding to hear his voice. Seeing this Freddie smirked and quickly bent down, grabbing Brian’s face and pulling him into another round of passionate and possessive kisses, full of teeth and tongue. “Oi! Stealing my car now John?! Wanker.” Roger appeared scowling but John just laughed and so does Freddie, letting go of Brian’s lips. Brian blinked a few times, willing his now distracted brain to focus on locating Roger and wordlessly held out his hands, beckoning him closer. Roger moved nearer and hummed his appreciation at the current sight on display, taking hold of both of Brian’s wrists with one hand, ran his other one over Brian’s exposed chest and suddenly pinched his nipple perfectly in time with John, who’s fingers just did something amazing inside Brian’s underwear. Brian moaned loudly and arched his back, feeling his orgasm approaching embarrassingly fast but soon let out a confused whimper when he felt John retrieving his touches. Roger laughed, nuzzled behind his ears and growled, “Only if you beg prettily enough.” Then he tugged him up and gestured towards the villa. “Let’s go and make good use of that giant bed.” Freddie nodded, agreeing with Roger, eyes drinking in the sight in front of him and licked his lips. “I’ll put out the bonfire then. Don’t start anything fun without me!” He kissed Brian once more, heatedly and full of promises of more to come, bit his lips playfully and quickly head towards the fire. “I was gonna make him come once before we go inside but your idea is quite tempting.” John smirked at Roger. “Will you do as Roger says love? Beg prettily for us? Should we allow you to come at all?” “Pleasepleaseplease.” Brian could only whimper, already feeling the familiar heavenly float that could only come from being cared for by his lovers. “Good boy. We’re gonna take such good care of you now, you can let go.” Roger began running his hand through Brian’s hair alongside with John, waiting for Freddie to return.

Cue a steamy, sexy and loving Poly!Fem!(or not fem)OT4 night yeah? And there may or may not be a huge jacuzzi in the villa that they all made good use of. <3333

Ready for prompt number 4? Last one for now haha I think my brain is drying up lol. It just shows how amazing writers are! I salute you! You are wonderful. <333

Poly!Queen? Hot Space!Era (AUish)?, starting with them having a really rough time in the studio and it had been going on for quite a while (Prenter’s presence and words definitely didn’t help. It only gets worse and for some reason Brian has this feeling that he’s been singled out as target) and a particularly nasty fight broke out one day and even more unfortunate is that the fight got personal. And of course it has something to do with the infamous diss track: Back Chat (the fandom seems to think this song is aimed at Brian? though we will never know the truth ummm), Brian left the studio in the end (bitterly he denies the voices in his head calling him a coward for running away. He just wanted some fresh air, and maybe some alcohol in a bar that his bandmates do not frequent so he wouldn’t be found). Somehow, a band that’s also on the rise of fame managed to track him down while he was trying to numb himself quickly by getting plastered. They then offered a pretty sweet deal of him leaving Queen (“Since they don’t seem to love you anymore.” One of them murmured softly to him and hearing this is like been stabbed through the heart.) and joining them instead, not just as the song writer and lead guitarist but also as the lead vocalist of the band, basically saying that he could have everything; Strangely, it turns out that they actually had some "inside information" regarding of what's been going on in Queen and had been following for a while, all of them keen on taking Brian's side. Through the drunken fog in his brain his heart sank. Queen has already established the reputation of being a tight unit especially after their success, generally people respect their close bond with each other so there hasn’t been any “headhunting” propositions for a VERY long time; The fact of it appearing again now out of all times only brought out senses of dread, thoughts immediately heading to a dark place in which all the worst-case scenarios resides: is this actually his bandmates asking him to leave through a third party? Are they so fed up with him that they couldn’t even stand to break the news in person? Is this them breaking up with him? He’s suddenly so cold and dizzy that he started swaying unsteadily, the band then quickly offered to bring him back to their own brand-new recording studio for a tour and maybe some rest. Feeling drunk and resigned Brian just watched silently with half lidded eyes as they maneuvered him out of his seat. As they were about to usher him out of the bar suddenly all motion stopped as the band abruptly came face to face with Roger (eyes narrowed and fists balled, obviously fuming), Freddie (seemingly nonchalant with raised eyebrow but his coiled muscles as if ready for a fight totally says otherwise) and John (his face somehow even more unreadable than usual, eyes glinting ominously). Sensing the atmosphere shift, those who were around Brian all collectively took a step back and for some unknown reason, a few guilty looks appeared on some of their faces. Brian started swaying again without the support and Freddie quickly appeared besides Brian, wrapping tightly around him and helped carrying his weight. However, still feeling angry and devasted Brian tried to wriggle out of his embrace but found himself drunk and too slow and did not have the strength at to pry open Freddie’s “iron grip” at all (yeah how could he forget that Freddie is in fact a damn good athlete and a boxer, John also joined him in the gym these days these two often had great fun together). Sensing Brian’s struggle Freddie only wordlessly tightens his hold; Brian eventually gave up trying to get free after a few attempts instead just bit his lips (nervous habit kicking in now) and looked away, unwilling to face his three bandmates and lovers.

“Where the hell do you think you’re taking OUR guitarist to?” Roger snarled, also coming up besides Freddie to help supporting Brian. After a quick check up on him, he frowned when he found that Brian’s skin is cold and clammy.

“It’s great that you guys want to look out for OUR Brimi, but we’ll take it from here now.” There’s a storm brewing behind Freddie’s eyes, dismissal clear in his voice. Yet in the same time he’s very mindful of the drunk Brian now stiffly resides in his and Roger’s arms, careful to not cause him anymore physical discomfort.

“It seems that a certain rat has been feeding you all kinds of information on us? Things that he’s not supposed to pry and definitely not supposed to blab about?” With a dark edge to his voice, John stepped forward, staring down at the few guilty faces in front of him, smiling cold and sharp. “Well he’s not around anymore, make of that what you will.” Slowly Brian blinked up at John through his drunken haze in surprise, it has to be Prenter that they’re talking about, right? But how—

“Let’s get back to the hotel, Bri’s not feeling so well.” Roger grunted, tugging the other three out of the bar impatiently, his hold on Brian is steadfast and unwavering. “Come on guys, get in the car.”

“Please come back with us Brimi? We know that you’re still hurting but I promise you, we’re gonna get through this together, alright?” Well now that’s just unfair, Freddie’s bringing out his nickname now in that soft tone AND looking at him like he’s something precious, really not fair at all. Brian could only nod, not trusting his voice yet but Freddie beamed brightly at him.

“I’m sorry, baby. We’ll all have a long talk and fill you in on the details of Prenter after you get some rest okay?.” Now that’s just cheating. They’re in the car now and John’s petting his hair oh so gently, expertly lulling him to sleep.

Cue the OT4!boys have a long hard talk about EVERYTHING and their relationship that involves lots of shouting, bitching, bickering, crying, apologizing and making up! HAPPY ENDINGS HELL YEAH and the other three explained how the whole Prenter thing came to light and with evidence, they fired him immediately. Also John may or may not have “convinced” (“I’d say threatened is more like it.” Roger snickered.) the other band’s manager to give up the location of the bar that they had sooo enthusiastically called him from, exclaiming Brian May’s about to quit Queen and join them and that they were trying to bring him back to the studio now.

+++

First off, you don't have to apologize for any errors, english isn't my first language either and I didn't even notice any errors; your english is completely fine

Second, those prompts are lovely and I might write something for them once I have access to my laptop again (so far I'm only writing on my phone and while that works, it's not ideal) because it would end up a bit longer than what usually write for snippets.

Thanl you so much for this lovely, I really enjoyed this!

#submission #poly!king #poly!queen

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externally-upset · 5 years

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1-100

Alright going all in I see. Let's do this

1. I mainly use Spotify

2. I try and keep it clean but somehow always winds up messy

3. I've got brown eyes

4. y'know I've got a really generic name but I do like it. Why, I have no idea

5. I'm currently single

6. Scatterbrained, happy, adventurous

7. I've got natural black hair

8. So I don't drive because it actually hurts my leg to drive. Also I can't sit still for longer than 5 minutes

9. I shop everywhere that has toys lmao. I'm a toy collector so I'll go anywhere that has em

10. I don't really have a style. I try and live my life as cozy as possible

11. I don't really have a favorite social media account

12. I have a full/queen size bed

13. I've got lots of siblings. In all, I've got 6 sisters and 2 brothers, but some are step family. I've got 1 bio sister and 1 bio brother, both younger than me.

14. I've been looking into moving to Washington recently, but I think I'd rather travel the world than settle down somewhere, for now at least

15. I don't use the filters myself so I can't speak on that

16. I don't use makeup so I don't have a fave brand to talk about

17. I shower everyday, I get really sweaty so I gotta

18. I don't have like a definite fave TV show. It varies from month to month. Although this summer it was Nisekoi, which is an excellent anime

19. I wear a size 11.5/12 shoe

20. I'm 5'11

21. I wear almost strictly sneakers

22. I don't go to the gym, I should though. I really should

23. Dream date would be to have one lol, um I guess to go up to the mountains together and star gaze or something to do with the mountains. I just enjoy being outside

24. Too much to count 💸💸 lmao jk I've got $60

25. Ain't wearing any but if someone came through right now, I'd put some black ones on

26. I had four, but my mom stole 2 of them

27. I was working in drywall for awhile but I hopped out of that and am currently applying to places. I specifically was a taper, so like when drywall is put up in the house, there are gaps between the pieces put up. I covered those gaps up, all over the house. It doesn't seem like a lot but when you've got 15-20 feet ceilings, it gets hard

28. I've got quite a lot of friends and I love them all

29. I've know I've done bad stuff that others remember me for but I can't think of anything

30. Oh man I loooooove lavender scented candles. Lavender scented anything is the best

31. I honestly can't think of any boy names that I like

32. 3 girl names: Sochi, Lavender, and Laurie, which is actually the name of one of my best friends

33. Anthony Hopkins is my favorite actor by far

34. Fave actress is definitely Meryl Streep, I fell in love with her when I first saw the Devil Wears Prada years ago and it just snowballed from there

35. My celeb crush is either Bonnie Wright or Jessica Keenan Wynn

36. Fave movie has gotta be The Great Mouse Detective

37. I used to read a lot, not so much anymore. Of everything I've read though, Christine by Stephen King has been my favorite read

38. Everyone wants to say brains are more important and they are, but unfortunately in the world we live in money rules over all

39. I used to be called Chancho but not any more

40. I've been to the hospital more times than I'd like to think. I had a heart condition that flared up in high school so I spent a lot of time at the hospital. I'm still not even sure what it was and am sure the doctors made it up to take my money

41. TOP TEN SONGS:

Beauty and the Beast - Angela Lansbury

Beauty and the Beast - Celine Dion, Peabo Bryson

Higher - Creed

Eres Mi Droga - Intocable

Crossing Field - LiSA

Don't Blink - Kenny Chesney

Junkhead - Alice In Chains

Your Decision - Alice In Chains

Losing A Whole Year - Third Eye Blind

Forever Halloween - The Maine

42. Nah, no meds for me

43. I think I have an oily skin type

44. Biggest fear is leaving those I love behind when I pass along to the next life

45. I don't know how many kids I want

46. I always have my hair either in a bun or braided

47. I live in a medium sized family home

48. My grandma has been and always will be my role model

49. It was being told how wise I am

50. Last text I sent was to my homeboy, telling him "this school shit is wack"

51. I was 6 years old when I found out Santa wasn't real

52. A nice Truck is my dream car or maybe a souped up Subaru, with an anime wrap for shits and gigs

53. I'm cool with smoking weed, but no cigarettes and only smoke outside, don't need my stuff to smell

54. Yeah, I'm here in college, but I don't like it

55. Rural areas by far. I've always wanted my own farm

56. I wanna be a high school history teacher and that requires a degree, so that's why I'm in college

57. I don't like the shampoo and conditioner from hotels, don't like the way they feel. That being said, yes I'll take them

58. I've got freckles but you can barely see them unless were face to face

59. Yes and no. It really depends on my mood. I try to take more smiling pictures now

60. I've got quite a few, mostly memes though

61. Of course I've peed in the woods, with the amount of times I've been hiking and camping with no bathroom in site, you gotta

62. I watch almost strictly cartoons, if we're being completely honest

63. Chicken nuggets smack, no matter where they're from

64. If it calls for it, honey. If not, then sweet and sour sauce

65. Alright, so it depends where I'm at. If I'm home alone, just my underwear. If there are people here, shorts. If I'm at someone else's house, I wear whatever I have on

66. Never participated in a spelling bee in my life

67. My hobby is collecting. I've been collecting things since I was a kid. I've switched between many things in my life. I've gone from Wrestling figures, to sports cards, to vinyl records, to Funko Pops. I actually collect a little of everything I've mentioned now

68. I can't draw for shit

69. I don't play any instruments, although I've tried learning how to play the Ukulele

70. Last concert was seeing Four Year Strong and Seaway like 2 years ago

71. I prefer tea over coffee

72. I guess Starbucks as I've never had Dunkin before

73. Marriage sounds nice, but I don't need to. Like if I'm dating someone and they said they don't wanna get married, I wouldn't have a problem with it. As long as we're in love, that's all that matters

74. Aha, I'm not answering this one

75. If ever I get married, I don't know what the last name situation is gonna be

76. Burgundy and blue look absolutely fantastic on me

77. Yeah there are a few people I miss

78. I always sleep with my door closed and my closets too

79. I belive in ghosts, although I prefer to call them spirits. Used to see them frequently as a child, still do sometimes

80. Biggest pet peeve is when people try to tell me what to do. Not like suggestions but actually tell me what to do. Irritates me to no end

81. Last person I called I think was my Dad, but that's because I couldn't find him in the store

82. Black Cherry Vanilla is the best but no one sells it anywhere

83. Golden Oreos are pretty damn good so I'll go with those

84. If I have to choose, probably rainbow sprinkles

85. Just a plain white tank top

86. My phone background is a picture of Ricky from Trailer Park Boys saying "Man, maybe I am gay."

87. I can be outgoing, it kinda takes a bit for me to open up though

88. I fucking love when people play with my hair

89. My neighbors across the street are very nice, but next door neighbor is a dick, always judging shit

90. I usually wash my face in the mornings

91. I used to get high a lot, not so much anymore, although I'd really like for that to change

92. I spent a good portion of this year drunk, so that's a problem. I actually only started drinking when I turned 21 last September. Never been hungover either, so I've been blessed

93. Last thing I ate was some chips

94. "Thank you to the miracle that we are able to meet in a dirty and ugly world, even like this" My Song - Girl Dead Monster. This is from Angel Beats and these are rough English translations

95. I prefer winter over summer, but spring is my fave season

96. I love night time, always will

97. I will always pick dark chocolate over all other chocolates

98. September is my favorite month, not because it's my birth month, but it's the one month where everything feels right

99. I'm a Virgo

100. Last person I cried in front of was my homeboy Mason, albeit I was drunk as fuck and don't remember it but he does. Says I scared him

Goddamn that took forever, but I did get over being bored, so bless you Anon

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