#anon: haha here's a funny thought about religion | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

x-lulu · 3 years

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hii y’all, so I wanted to say thank you to some people and wish them a lovely new year. we of course have to deal with time zones and different religions that have influence on when the new year starts, so i’m just gonna post it now.

I love you all, to some I talk every day, to some just a few asks so now and then and others presence I just enjoy on my dash, nonetheless I love all of you and I’m grateful you put up with my shit haha x

I also wanted to say a quick thank you to all the lovely anons, your asks make my day and I’m honoured that you take time to send me some :) so thank you and I hope y’all have a lovely 2021!! ofcourse I wish everyone a happy new year as well, all my followers, everyone on this site, no matter who you are have a wonderful 2021 and may you get all the love and happiness you deserve x

@rafej-cambanks

dani, my older and wiser sister! I love you, I haven’t been texting you as much as i used to sorry, i think we’re both quite busy. anyway this doesnt make me love you any less, i love you lots bby! you were one of the first people that welcomed me, supported me and cared about me, most important of all, you were the first that gave me the feeling i wasn’t completely worthless and that you did that means so much! you are such a talented person and your writing is incredible!! but the most amazing thing about you is how lovely of a person you are. you care so much and you’re there for everyone, you defend your friends and anyone who needs defending. you always know how to cheer me up with pics of your lovely princess, chels is just absolutely gorgeous!!! I think you’re a wonderful friend, someone who you can laugh and cry with, thank you, im grateful i’ve met you this year and i hope that there are a lot of conversations to come. have a lovely new year babe

@deionswannabegirl

bubba, bella, how gorgeous are you ma’am????? i dont think it’s fair for the rest of us!!! i dont know where to start, you honestly mean so much to me. which may suprise you because we havent talked that many times, but i loved every single conversation we’ve had. you really helped me become the person i am, you helped me feel comfortable with my sexuality and gave me the confidence to come out to my parents, ill forever be grateful. but apart from how much you helped me, i think you are such a lovely woman, who sadly had too many things thrown at her by life. Im so sorry you’re having these hard times and i wish i could take those away from you. you are one of the most beautiful persons i’ve ever met, inside and outside!! you’re funny, you’re caring, you’re intelligent, you’re talented, you’re loving, you’re amazing bella and im honoured to have my cuddle bear be named after you hahah. I love you bub and i know it can be hard to talk to people or ask for help or just a distraction, because sometimes we dont need help or dont know what to talk about, i just want to let you know that i will always be here and i promise you can talk about anything with me, you are so strong love and i believe you will get through this and that you are gonna make beautiful memories, i love you! may 2021 be a year to make wonderful memories and may you get the love you deserve and you deserve lots of it <3

@aquariusholland

kyr! hi! i love you and every time i see you on my dash i get a smile on my face. you really have your own sense of humour and randomness, both which i adore. your jokes make me laugh in public and people are like wtf she laughing about haha. i relate to a lot of things you post haha and while we might not talk that much, i feel close to you. you kind of feel like a sister to me haha. you’re also a queen and come up for yourself and your believes, but also in a respectful way and i just admire that about you. I hope you have a wonderful new year and that it exists of a lot more of your random asks ;)

ps. can i call you kyr bear? idk i was thinking about you and my mind went to kyr bear hahah

@https-luna

lunaaaa bby! we both thought the other didn’t like them haha, but gosh i love you 👉👈 we haven’t been talking for that long yet i think two weeks maybe? idk but you’re already really important to me! i wish i could do more for you than just listen and maybe give some advice, but sadly i cant hold you in my arms and protect you from the world. i will however always do my best and ill be here for you no matter what. you deserve the world my love and things will get better and im here along the way and so are lots of other people, you really are loved bubba!!! i also started watching hannah montanna since you mentioned you loved that show ;) and finally someone with the same love for the little mermaid hahah. I hope that in 2021 we can get even closer, but i think we’re going down the right path <3 i love you and wish you a wonderful new year with lots of love, healing and health, because you deserve it so much! you’re also so strong and i fully believe that you will get there x

@sortagaysortahigh

hey love, we don’t really talk but i wanted to add you to the list. i really admire you!! you stand up for what you believe in, you educate so many people and do what’s right in this world!! you love your friends and i believe you’d anything for them!! you’re also hella funny and seeing you in my dash can make my day. i just wanted to tell you that you’re a wonderful human being and you make the world a lot better!! i hope you keep being the amazing person you are and i wish you all the love and happiness in the world!! also you’re a badass haha, happy new year angel 🖤

@annab-nana

anna bby, you’re the sweetest person i’ve ever met!! i love interacting with you so much, you always bring a smile to my face and i believe you do that to a lot of people. you’re an incredible presence on tumblr and in the world, i believe you make everyone’s life a bit brighter and i hope i can do the same for you. on top of that you’re also hella talented, idk what god thought when he made you ;) I love that we have gotten closer in the past few weeks, i cant believe that i hadn’t made the connection between you and your sideblog hahah, but now i know you and im grateful for it!!! you’re a loving, caring and supporting lil bean and i love you! i feel like i can come with anything to you and you’ll be there for me and that is an amazing feeling, so here just a reminder that you can also come with anything to me <3 i hope 2021 is gonna be a good year for you, you deserve it!!

ps - you’re absolutely gorgeous

@mxltifandoms06

hi sweetheart!! when i think of christmas i think of you ;) (i wrote this when it was almost christmas not new year haha) you’re such a cozy and sweet human being!! you’re supportive, caring and loving!! you always make my days better and i’m so grateful to have met you!! also your dog is just the most adorable ever!! im so glad you decided to come in my ask box and start interacting, i love you babe, i hope all the love you give you’ll receive in 2021, you’re deserving of a lot of love <3

@killingbxys

my queen! hi! we don’t talk as much as I would want to, but gosh i just have a comfortabel vibe with you, i feel like i can come with anything to you and every time i see you on my dash, asks, dm anything it brings a smile on my face. i’ve said it before, but you’re that one friend who you can both laugh and cry with. i feel like you’re this amazing presence here on tumblr and everyone is grateful to have you x i love you babe and i hope we will get closer in the new year :) if you’re up for that as well ofcourse hahah, im not going to force you to be friends with me (well... maybe i am... but we’re not gonna talk about that...). I wish you the best and i hope 2021 will treat you wonderful x

@jellyfishbeansontoast

izzy hi!! babe i love you and all your randomness, every time i see you in my dash i get a smile on my face!! also your work is incredible!!! and i love seeing you simping haha!! your whole blog is basically a mood and i love it 🥰 thank you for being your lovely self!! i hope you’ll get the love and happiness you deserve and i also hope to get closer in 2021 hehe ;) you’re just this amazing person and im honoured to be moots! have a lovely new year x

@demxters

elle my love, if we’re gonna talk about lovey and talented people ofcourse we have to add you to the list. you’re one of my favourite writers of all time, your titles, your aesthetic, your concepts, your way with words, it’s all so perfect!!! you always amaze me and then we started talking and omg you’re such a sweet person and every time i get an ask or a message from you it puts a smile on my face. i’m grateful i met you this year and i wish you all the best, i believe in you, you’re so strong!! i know you go through some difficult stuff, but i will always be there for you, remember you are worthy and so loved!!! i love you, have a wonderful 2021.

@pink-meringues

pink gosh im gonna miss you so bad, but i’m also really proud of you for doing what’s best for you and i really hope it will have positive effect on your well being and your happiness!! you’re such a loving and welcoming person!! thank you for being who you are and making so many peoples lives better, we all care about you babe!! have a lovely 2021 <3

@sunsetholland

hey love, if i’m gonna be honest here, you were the person who gave me the confidence to start being myself on this site, you probably don’t remember but once you send me an ask and wished me a lovely week, which brought a smile to my face!! that was the moment that i decided to be myself, thank you for that!! apart from that you are so freaking talented, i say it all the time but your work is like reading poetry, how you come up with your sentences i have no clue, but it’s wonderful and i’m amazed every time!! you’re also a lovely human being and your posts on my dash always make me smile!! i hope you have a lovely 2021 babe, i love you <3

@skiesofthesketchy

sky my love, you’re such a loving and supporting human being. you really bring peace on my dash and give me a calm feeling!! I honestly still can’t believe that my tumblr crush knew who I was and wanted to talk to me haha. I’m obsessed with your work and there are so many people who admire you, which you totally deserve!!! It’s almost unbelievable how talented you are haha and your music taste is also on point!! and how cool is it that you can play the guitar and have a job to do with music, I love it and you’re so talented and well deserving of every good thing that comes on your path. have a lovely new year x

@cognacdelights

hi bub, you’re one of my role models 🙈 you’re a classy badass who I admire so much, you’re one of the most talented persons I’ve ever met! you’re also so lovely and sweet!!! and you’re a really fascinating and interesting woman as well!! I wish you all the best my love, remember to take some time for yourself and try to ignore those toxic people, you’re more than enough and deserve to feel happy and loved

@mind-with-a-melody

tess, i know you haven’t had the best time lately and i wish 2021 could be a whole new start for you, sadly mental health doesn’t work that way. however i really hope it will be better for you and you’ll learn to have hope and maybe love yourself, because you are so worth it. you are beautiful on the inside and on the outside. you send love to people and make others peoples days better and that is the most wonderful trait someone can have, i believe in you, you are strong and even tho it may not feel like that but it will get better and i’m always here!! you’ll get help along the way, from me but also from so many other people who love you!! i hope 2021 will treat you better, you deserve all the love and the happiness ma’am, happy new year!!

@all-alone-he-turns-to-stone

hi audrey, we haven’t talked that much yet, but you’re the first blog i followed on here. you’re so talented and seeing you on my dash always brings a smile to my face. so i decided to send you an ask and then i found out that you’re a lovely human as well!! i wish you the best for 2021, you deserve all the happiness and love in the world!!

@nxsmss

well lara, where do I start, last but definitely not least. I just had to put you last because I knew your message would be one of the longest haha. it feels so weird for someone to accept me completely as who i am, but you do exactly that! okay now im starting to cry again, but you mean so much to me. you’re the best that happened to me in a long long time and you’re honestly the person who helps me the most, gives me the best feelings, it’s incredible how much talking to you can cheer me up and when i think about you i start to smile (and sometimes cry hahah, jeez i come over like a cry bby, i promise im not hahaha). you’re one of the most loving and caring persons i’ve ever met. you were so welcoming since the first time we met and i feel like we kinda immediatelly hit it off. we didnt have that ‘how are you and where do you live’ kind of conversations, while there is nothing wrong with small talk, i feel like we pretty much immediatly started being our weird selves around each other and i love it. we have like three dates every week haha and those are honestly what gets me through the week. and we basically interact almost every hour, no matter if it’s trough text, snap, tumblr or tiktok hahah. ive never felt more myself, more loved or more capable than with you. on top of that you are hella talented, wise, intelligent, gorgeous, pretty much perfect ;) i absolutely love everything about you, from the clumsy stuff you do to the sweet good morning and good night messages, from the random snaps to the deep conversations, from the weird asks to just basically acting like we’re a couple hehe. i just love everything and i cant imagine my life without you, im never letting you go babe.

@dmonchld @jiaraendgame @vintageobx @rafeyybabyy @camillemonty, @amorejjaygron

we may not interact that much but every time I see you on my dash or asks or something it brings a smile to my face!!

also @dmonchld you are my icon 🙈 and i admire you so much, im just a scared lil bean which stops me from interacting with you hahah, but you’re so strong and brave. i think you are a wonderful friend and just an incredible person in general

@jiaraendgame your music taste is just on point!! and im so grateful for you, when ive posted about tough subjects you comment and even when we didnt know each other you supported me and comforted me, thank you, i think you are this amazing person and i love every interaction with you

@vintageobx and @rafeyybabyy you guys were some of the first people I started talking to and you’ve always been supportive thank you for that!! you’re both really kind and i hope 2021 will treat you with nothing but love

@camillemonty and @amorejjaygron you both make me feel welcome on this site and I’m really grateful for that!

i wish you all a wonderful new year and may it be filled with love, laughter and making wonderful memories

i love you

btw i started writing this like a month ago, because i never work on the stuff that i need to work on and knew i wouldn’t be able to finish it if i didn’t start already haha, so yeah, with some people the relationships might have changed a bit, like we’ve already become closer, but i think it’s all pretty up to date, but if it isn’t then you know that that’s why <3 and there are probably a lot of errors because it’s barely proofread and i’m a horrible at typing so that’s that 🙈

#happy new year #i love you guys #mutuals #me ranting about how i love oyu #im a simp for all of you #im terrible with words but everything i said was with the best intention and i hope i could bring the message about how wonderful you are #and how much i care about you #i wish y'all the best and i'm looking forward to more conversations and getting even closer <3

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beerecordings · 4 years

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Umm is it possible to ask for different ipliers/septic egos accidently walking in on a Jim Jim religion meeting?

hahaha okay okay a goofy piece for a funny prompt. credit to the anon who suggested that the Jim twins would think JJ stood for Jim Jim, an idea which then progressed into us all joking about the twins starting a JJ-based religion (posts about it are tagged Jim Jim Jameson lol). so here’s a slightly crack fic but still a funny and sometimes cute look at the way the Jims interact with the others. a quick piece, slightly ridiculous hahaha <3

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“Burgers? Who wants burgers and who wants hot dogs? Cheese? Who wants cheese? You know what, Derekson, just get me a list of everybody and what they want.”

“Wilford, sir, that’s not a spatula.”

“No? Then what is it, my dear boy?”

“Looks like somebody’s Wall-E DVD, Wil.”

Chase chokes on his soda and tries not to laugh aloud, though all he ends up doing is spitting Dr. Pepper out of his nose.

“Chase!” gripes Marvin, shoving his lawn chair away. “Gross!”

“He’s out of his fucking mind,” wheezes Chase, trying to keep it down.

“They all are,” hisses back Marvin, but he’s laughing too. Chase can see it in the shine in his eyes.

“Hey, shut up, man,” laughs Bing.

“You shut up,” shoots back Marvin.

“No, you.”

“You are two to one here, Bing-a-ling,” teases Chase, grinning.

“Aw, come off it,” chuckles the robot, sitting back. “Pass me a beer, will you?”

“You can’t drink liquids, Bing.”

“I like the aesthetic!”

“Wilford!” Edward is boxing Wilford away from the grill, trying to keep him from using Eric’s glasses as his second impromptu spatula. “I am grilling, you are absolutely one hundred percent banned from anything involving fire.”

“Now, see here, Bim,” growls Wilford.

“I’m Edward, Wilford. Google, tell Wilford he’s not allowed on the grill!”

On the other side of the space between the three houses, a head with shining black hair turns only slightly, and a smooth voice sounds.

“Wilford,” calls Google. “I have yet to see the darkness. Do you think he is in pain, stuck in his room?”

Wilford’s eyes flicker, distracted, even a little unnerved. He puffs himself up after a moment, dropping Eric’s glasses into the grass as if they were never in his hand to begin with. “What, my blackbird, stuck in his bedroom? I shall carry him if I have to. And we will sit on the grass and drink this cocaine soda everyone is always raving about!”

“For the last time,” groans Edward. “There’s no cocaine in Coca-Cola anymore!”

But Wilford is already hurrying off towards the house behind the peach trees, whistling to himself as he goes.

“Thank you, Google,” calls Ippy, sighing deeply, and across the yard the android raises a hand in silent acquiescence, his attention still on Jameson’s rapid signing. Something about American tea, as far as Chase can tell. He laughs and sits back against Bing’s legs, sprawling his own boots out in front of him and finishing his soda with a quiet sigh. There’s beer for his brothers but, like the residents of these three houses, he won’t have any. He’s supposed to be happy while they’re visiting this mess of a – would you call it a family? – and he won’t let old habits get in the way. He casts his eyes quietly around the yard, almost sleepy with the comforting laziness of the little vacation. Jackie is the center of Shep and Host’s attention, telling an enthusiastic story about a burning building that turned out to be a drug front he busted back in Brighton, Henrik is exchanging a birdie back and forth with Bim as they wait for Ippy and Eric to come back for doubles, and Marvin is right here, kicking Chase’s foot for fun while Google discusses Earl Grey in a monotone behind them.

“This is weird,” says Chase.

“Yeah,” says Bing.

“But not so much in a bad way,” adds Marvin, and they exchange grins over sodas and beers, warm in the sun and the scratchy California grass.

“Okay, I got everybody’s order, right?” calls Ippy, flipping a burger. “Host, you – oh, no, here you are. The twins, where are the twins? Hey, who knows what the twins want? Where are they?”

“I saw them going down into that little, uh, door?” says Chase, pointing at a pair of wooden doors sticking out of the earth by the third house.

“Oh, yeah, an old shelter,” sighs Ippy. “They hang out down there sometimes. I should get them, maybe, uh – ”

“Aw, no sweat, doc,” says Chase, clambering to his feet. “I’ll see what they want. You focus on getting the meat just right.”

“Thanks, Brody.”

Chase tweaks Marvin’s ear teasingly as he passes and steps towards the doors across the way, setting his feet and pulling them gently open. He steps down into the concrete basement and finds that it’s actually been decorated quite nicely for an underground bomb shelter – thick rugs are layered across the floor, leaving a little patch of space in the corner for a heater, and a pair of electric camping lanterns surround the twins where they’re sitting in the middle of the shelter, working on –

“Um,” says Chase. “Is that Jamie?”

Both twins let out shrieks of surprise and the first leans hurriedly down to blow out the candle of his lantern. It is, however, still electric. He groans in despair and flops down onto the rug, hiding the papers and pictures that litter the floor in his arms.

“Intruder!” wails the second, covering his eyes with his hands. “Jim’s fortress is breached!”

Chase is too distracted to reply by the pictures of his brother, which he now sees are not just littering the floor, but also covering the walls. Some of them are hand-drawn, hurried stick figures with mustaches and black hats, while others have been printed off from the internet, showing Jamie’s smiling face in sepia brown or grey and white.

“Uhhhhhh,” says Chase. “I, uh. What is this?”

“Nothing,” promise both twins, grabbing each other for support.

“Chase! Chase!” Feet patter down the stairs, bringing wild laughter with them, and Jackie and Shep appear with Jackie’s hands wrapped around the biggest toad Chase has ever seen, struggling in his hands. “Look at this fucking toad!”

“He just snatched it right off the ground,” howls Shep, who has always found anything Jackie did to be hilariously funny.

“I thought you’d appreciate more than Henrik, who slapped me for trying to make him pet it,” giggles Jackie, shoving it into Chase’s face. “He’s perfect and he – what the hell is all this?”

Shep and Jackie go just as quiet as Chase did, staring around the walls.

“Did you marker a mustache onto your puppy?” asks Shep, pointing at the stuffed animal in one of the Jims’ arms.

“Why does your computer have a livefeed of Jamie eating a hot dog?” asks Jackie a little more dangerously.

“Okay, fine, you have caught Jim!” cries the first one. “Jim is celebrating the great Jim Jim with knick-knacks and cute pictures.”

“His name – ” Shep pauses to sigh and smack his own forehead. “Boys. We have talked about some of these obsessions. The last thing you ‘celebrated’ was that three toed-sloth you saw on Planet Earth.”

“She was perfect!” howl both twins in sync. “Perfect, she was perfect! She just wanted a mate, Silver Jim, she just wanted a husband! She could swim, Silver Jim! She was a sloth with three toes!”

“Are they going to like, uh. Hurt and/or kidnap Jameson?” asks Jackie, touching Shep’s arm.

“What, the twins? No. They’re harmless. Wouldn’t hurt a fly. Well, not on purpose. They once tied a string around one and then it died because they didn’t know how to feed it and they cried until Eric brought them popsicles, but that’s just the twins.”

Jackie steps politely over the babbling twins and carefully turns off the livefeed of Jamie.

“Jim likes JimJim!”

“Why is he leaving tomorrow?”

“Freedom of worship, Silver Jim! America!”

“Okay, okay,” cries Silver, waving his hands to quiet them. “Sh, boys, it’s okay, hey. Don’t fuss. Look, Jackie found a toad!”

The twins sniffle and turn their attention to the toad, instantly excited again.

“Oh! Like in Frog and Toad!”

“Like in Rango!”

“Like in the Princess and the Frog! But a toad! Can Jim have it, Mr. not-quite Jim Jim, please?”

Jackie shrugs and hands them the toad. “What are you going to call it?”

“Jameson!” cry both twins at once, happily petting the toad’s head as it croaks.

Jackie, Chase, and Shep exchange glances.

“Well, we’re heading out tomorrow,” says Chase.

“And I’m driving back to my apartment in the city,” adds Shep.

“Pretend we never saw this?” Jackie suggests.

“Yep,” answer Shep and Chase together, and the three of them turn and head right back up the stairs, passing a confused Ippy with two plates of hot dogs, who gives them one odd look and then continues down.

“Boys!” he hollers a moment later, and Chase, Jackie, and Silver all burst into laughter and hurry away, sitting down around Jameson, who wants to know what exactly is so funny?

“Nothing,” they all promise, ignoring Google’s eyeroll and Jamie’s indulgent smile. “Just another obsession of the Jims, haha.”

“Well, they go through three of those a week,” sighs Google. “Don’t get too excited. Whatever it is, they’ll be over it in a couple days.”

Perhaps that is usually true.

But not this time.

------------------

“Okay,” says Ippy, surveying the room besides the kitchen, blinking slowly. “This has officially gone too far.”

Host laughs rich and low, covering his mouth and leaning against the doorway, apparently endlessly amused by this newest interest of the cameramen’s. Eric giggles weakly, glancing around, but there’s a light of alarm in his eyes too, and it only makes Host laugh harder when he senses it, halfway collapsing against the doorway.

“Why is typewriter Jim laughing?” complains the second Jim, pasting another picture in a scrapbook labeled ‘the greatness of JimJim.’

“Is this a fucking cult?” asks Host. “I’ve seen worse but this one is certainly the cutest.”

“Jim is not cute!” protests the second Jim, while the first asks, “Oh, Jim, would you like to join Jim?”

“No, honey,” laughs Host, striding away. “I leave more patient men than I to deal with this.”

“Host,” grumbles Ippy, before sighing and turning his attention back to the Jims. “Boys, this isn’t a cult, right?”

“What’s a cult?” asks the second.

“Jim thinks the word doctor Jim is looking for is religion,” pipes up the first helpfully.

Edward turns around so he can swear without them hearing. Eric laughs again, relaxing the more he looks around and stepping over to sit down with the twins.

“Come on, Ippy. They’re just having fun.”

“Worshipping Jameson is not an appropriate way to have fun,” protests Edward.

“They’re scrap-booking.” Eric holds up the little book, which is, admittedly, rather well-made for a Jim project.

“And making a documentary!” exclaims Jim, holding his computer out to Eric, where iMovie is open to several very shaky shots of Jameson sitting on the couch or talking with the others or, on one screen, cooking omelets and turning occasionally to smile at the eagerly narrating twins.

“And making a documentary,” repeats Eric fondly, ruffling his hair. “It’s just arts and crafts.”

“There’s a poster of Jameson made out of sticky notes on the wall!”

“And look how good they did at putting the notes together!”

“Thank you, sweater Jim,” say both the twins politely, smiling.

“Eric, it’s creepy. They don’t need to learn to be obsessing over other people.”

“You let them stalk Mark for two months.”

“Oh, yeah, cause that was hilarious,” laughs Ippy, throwing his head back. “He was so confused. Fuck Mark!”

“Fuck Mark,” repeat the twins eagerly.

“No! Don’t swear, guys, I know you’ll start doing it at work if I let you do it at home,” sighs Ippy.

“Jim would never swear in front of the petting zoo animals!” cries the first Jim.

“And Jim would never swear while helping with the news!” adds the second, indignant.

“See how responsible they are! Ip, let them be. I’ll make sure it doesn’t get too creepy. Like, uh. The hairs in this scrapbook aren’t actually Jameson’s, are they?”

“Yes, from Jim Jim’s mustache,” answer both twins, beaming.

“Well, why don’t you let me have that,” suggests Eric, carefully unstapling the plastic bag with a few stray dark hairs at the bottom.

“You two will be the death of me,” says Ippy, shaking his head.

But they do look damn sweet when they’re smiling that big.

“Okay, but no filming Jameson when he’s not looking anymore.”

“Okay, doctor Jim,” promise the twins.

“Jim will do it when Jim Jim and doctor Jim are both not looking,” whispers the second.

“They’ll never suspect it,” agrees the first in a hush. Eric laughs, tidying their scrapbook materials a little.

“You could even learn BSL like Jamie, maybe,” he suggests.

The twins light up like fireworks.

“BSL!” repeats the first one, clapping his hands together.

“JIM CAN SPEAK AS THE GREAT JIM SPEAKS,” screams the second at the top of his lungs, and this is enough to startle Bing, who was about to ride his skateboard down the stairs. He yelps in alarm as his board slips beneath him, and a moment later he comes crashing hard down the stairs and lands in a heap of sparking parts at Ippy’s feet.

“The death of me!” repeats the doctor furiously, waving his finger around accusingly. “All of you! This whole house! This whole clearing! I’ll die at thirty-four! You’ll have to bury me! Have fun with my funeral expenses, you complete bastards.”

“Bastards!” repeat the twins.

“Look bastards up in BSL!”

“Look Jim up in BSL!”

“Look everything up in BSL!”

Ippy has the distinct feeling he’s being made fun of, just a little, but even Bing is laughing, and all he can do is try not to smile as he heads back out the door.

-----------------

“Can’t you move a body a little more quietly?”

Wilford hauls the heavy tarp across the pathway and grunts, flicking a little blood off his fingers. “Well, you could help!”

“Why would I do that when I have you to do it for me?” purrs back Dark, following him down the pathway towards the car.

“You just like to feel like you’re manipulating something,” scolds Wilford, pausing just to boop Dark’s nose. In protest, Dark vanishes back into the void and leaves Wilford with nothing but a sulking shadow drifting around his feet.

“And now you’re a smoke kitty,” coos Wilford, dragging the body farther down the path.

“Just hurry,” says Dark, re-appearing in a masculine form this time. “You know I prefer for the twins to stay sheltered and I don’t want them catching us again.”

“Catching what?” asks Jim, standing in the trees with his camera.

Wilford swears colorfully and Dark dissipates back into shadow on instinct, spitting out curses of his own.

“Now, see here, Iplier,” says Wilford. “It’s quite rude to be sneaking up on a fellow.”

“That’s Jim, Wil.”

“Oh. What in the name of Burt Reynolds are you two doing out here so late at night?”

“Oh! We’re filming for a documentary for Jim Jim.”

“They mean Jameson,” Dark tells Wil.

“Who’s Jameson?” whispers Wilford.

Dark sighs very deeply.

“He is the great Jim!” cries the second Jim, rising from the bushes like a Peanuts character on Halloween.

“The great Jim,” repeats the first Jim solemnly.

“He’s that little old-fashioned…” Dark waves his hand, trying to find the right word. “Jackson. You’ve met him.”

“Oh, I know who you mean. The British chap with the truly excellent mustache. But he’s not even out here, what are you filming?”

“Well, he is not here. But Jim has heard is very fond of hedgehogs. So Jim is trying to find some!”

“Are there hedgehogs in America?” whispers Wilford.

“Fuck if I know,” answers Dark irritably.

“Would you like to join Jim in the search for hedgehogs and ultimately the eternal worship of the great Jim Jim?”

“Don’t look so hopeful, you little miscreant, you know I avoid engaging with you at all costs,” growls Dark, but the twins just giggle.

“They used to be afraid of you,” teases Wilford.

“Shut up,” snipes Dark. “I could make them afraid in about two seconds.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“But you won’t.”

“The real question,” interrupts one of them – Dark can’t tell them apart. “Is what are Dark and pink Jim doing out in the forest late at night? Jim is a very good reporter, you know. Jim uncovers mysteriousnesses.”

“I think you mean mysteries,” says Dark. “And we’re, uh.”

Wil and Dark glance at the body in between them.

“Returning a lamp to the store,” finishes Wil.

Dark closes his eyes. His exasperation has set in so deep he can feel it in his broken spine. He’s going to kill Wilford. But then again, he thinks that about three times a day and never seems to make good on his threat.

“A lamp,” says Jim.

“A lamp,” repeats his brother.

They stare down at the wrapped corpse.

“That checks out,” says the first.

“Jim is an investigative journalist so Jim can tell,” agrees the second.

“Just get out of my sight,” snaps Dark, advancing on them with shadow cloaking his set shoulders, and the twins shriek in equal parts fear and excitement and go darting back into the underbrush.

“You’re it, Mr. Dark!”

“Run, Jim! Run!”

Dark crosses his arms over his chest and turns to glare at Wilford.

“I could scare them if I wanted to.”

Wilford just smiles and picks up the body again, pausing only to give Dark a quick kiss on the cheek.

“I know you could, little ghost. Hey, should we be worried they appear to be worshipping Jacksepticeye?”

“Should I be concerned you told me you worshipped the Pillsbury dough boy while you were drunk last week?”

“Oh, no, the body is slipping! Let me just – ” He picks it up and slings it over his shoulder, sprinting towards the car and away from any further questions. Dark rolls his eyes and drifts back into the shadows, following peaceably after him.

---------------------

Google blinks awake to a pair of eyes staring back at him.

Check that. Two pairs of eyes.

“Boys,” he says levelly. “I’m charging. This had better be an emergency.”

Jim and Jim exchange looks.

Carefully, they push a crumpled pamphlet with Jameson’s face drawn on it in crayon beneath his nose.

“Join our religion?”

Google gets out of bed in one swooping motion, drags them both out of the house, and, ignoring the shrill cries of “why, cruel computer Jim?” and “persecution! Persecution! Persecution!” dumps them both bodily into the lake.

---------------------

Everybody gets to hear about it at one point or another. The Jims’ amicability for JJ, taken a little too far, is occasionally annoying, but nevertheless remains largely harmless. In the name of the great JJ, they pick up more than one of his hobbies – taking care of injured animals, painting with watercolors, dressing in black and white – and develop rudimentary BSL that actually turns out to be really helpful on the days when the twins are distressed and won’t talk out loud. Most of them learn to tolerate it with amusement, though Host never stops thinking it’s one of the funniest things they’ve ever done and Google makes sure they learn the consequences of being too irritating. Bing and Eric bring them craft supplies and trinkets from the store that remind them of JJ, while Ippy entices them to eat their vegetables and sit still through examinations with made-up stories about how tough and healthy Jameson is. On Christmas Eve, as a reward for being good all year, Ippy asks Jameson to Skype with them for a little while, and he’d never seen the twins so excited and yet so well-mannered at the same time, even managing to use first-person pronouns for themselves once or twice, eager to impress JJ.

“Good signing,” he congratulates them, looking soft and snuggly in the Christmas Eve pajamas he and his brothers all exchanged for the night.

“Thank you thank you thank you!” sign the twins eagerly, and Ippy chuckles, blowing on their hot chocolate to cool it before he brings it to them.

“You must have been dedicated,” says Jameson, and when they don’t understand, he substitutes the word “good.”

“Good!” chirps Jim, clapping his hands together. “Good! We have! We have!”

“You will tell Santa to bring us gifts, then?” asks his brother eagerly. Ippy smiles and takes a sip of the chocolate, checking the temperature carefully.

JJ laughs. “How will I tell him? Did you write letters?”

“Yes, we did. But I bet he will believe it if Jim Jim puts in a good word for us!”

“That’s sweet,” chuckles JJ, keeping his hands slow. “But I think he will listen to you too! I’m just little old me.”

“Yeah,” says Jim cheerfully. “God.”

Ippy spits the hot chocolate out and races over to slam shut the computer before he can see Jameson’s reaction.

“Boys!” he hollers. “Too far!”

Iplier hears a thud as, up the stairs and narrating this story to himself, Host laughs so hard he tumbles right out of his bed.

#2020 prompts #jim jim jameson #anon #jim twins

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lottswrites · 6 years

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Same anon as before who loved the mitch/auston sleep fic or lack there of. Would love to hear more of the backstory of how Mitch went from waiting to make a move to actually making one AND the aftermath. I just love this story for some reason it really resonated with me. I want the beginning, middle and after haha I know it’s a lot to ask but would love to just hear more of your thoughts on the verse.

hey so I had a few more thoughts on this ‘verse, and I really did enjoy writing in a Mitch voice that’s a little more astute and a little less sure of his own niceness, so have a ficlet! here’s the original fic, and this is kind of a prequel. maybe i’ll add it as a second chapter on ao3, who knows. anyway have some exploration of the Things We Pretend To Feel Instead Of Our Feelings.

disclaimer: none of this is real! this is all made up! public information about public figures are the only bits of real information in this!

cw: very mild, uninformed discussions of religion

To say Mitch isn’t religious is, like, the understatement of the century. He doesn’t think he’s been to church since he was 8, because his parents never really pushed for it, and he knows there’s somewhere they go for the holidays, can picture the building and everything, but he can’t even remember if it’s Catholic or Protestant or what. But, like, even skipping Sunday School, or whatever, he knows what kind of thoughts he should and shouldn’t be having about his friend and teammate, and the thoughts he’s having right now fall solidly into the ‘shouldn’t’ column, and it’s not even in the fun way.

“What’s confession?” Mitch asks Marty.

Marty furrows his brow, gives Mitch a weird look. “It’s when you go to the priest–”

“No, I know that, but, like, who goes to confession? Catholics?” Mitch asks.

“Yeah,” Marty says. “Or just sinners, I guess.”

“So I’m a candidate,” Mitch says, putting his head on the table in his latest attempt to stop staring across the room at Auston.

Marty rubs at his back consolingly, and Mitch turns his head just enough to see that he looks very concerned. “You got something to fess up to, kid?”

“Nothing major,” Mitch says, then tucks his face back into his arm. “Just standard stuff. Greed, or envy, or whatever it’s called.”

“I’m pretty sure those are two separate sins,” Marty says.

“What, are you a religious expert now or something?” Mitch says, the snap in his voice definitely unwarranted, but apparently he’s an asshole who thinks strange, possessive things about the friend he’s been leading on for months, so he figures he might as well lean into it.

“Nah,” Marty says, good-natured, because he’s got the patience of a saint. “Just picked up a few things over the years. If your big problem is just feeling jealous, though, I wouldn’t worry too much about it.”

“But I shouldn’t be jealous,” Mitch says. “It’s, like, messed up that I am.”

“Well, what are you jealous of?” Marty asks.

Mitch sighs, then nods his head in Auston’s direction before face-planting into the table again. He kind of bangs his nose against it, but he figures it’s what he deserves.

“Ah,” Marty says. “That situation.”

“I’m the worst,” Mitch says. “I’m going to hell. To hell’s hell. Are there levels of hell? Because I’m going to the worst one.”

“The one with the murderers?” Marty says. “I’m pretty sure you’d be a bit out of place there.”

“Well, maybe this is the start of my villain origin story,” Mitch says. “Maybe greed is a gateway sin.”

“Bud, you’re not evil because you’re jealous of your friend for hitting on someone. It happens,” Marty says.

“But–” Mitch lifts his head off the table, but keeps staring at his hands, because Marty is nice – like, seriously, too nice – and if they’re gonna talk about this, Mitch doesn’t think he can look him in the eye. “It’s not just that.”

“Alright,” Marty says. “What is it, then?”

“It’s just – she’s doing it wrong,” MItch says.

“Who?”

“Her,” Mitch says. “She keeps going flirty when she should go funny, y’know? She hasn’t even gotten a laugh out of him, and she already went for the arm-touch.”

“Are you listening to their conversation? Do you have him bugged, or something?” Marty asks.

“Nah, just body language,” Mitch says, then rubs a hand over his face. “God, I’m so messed up.”

“Mitchy–”

“Like – I know he likes me,” Mitch says.

There’s a beat of silence, and then Marty says, “He told you?”

Mitch shakes his head. “I figured it out, but – he does, right? For a while?”

Marty nods. “We were all wondering when you’d clue into it,” he says.

“He’s kind of obvious,” Mitch says, twirling his beer in his hands. “I realized a few months ago.”

“Oh, wow,” Marty say. “So you haven’t–”

“I kept hoping he wouldn’t say anything,” Mitch says. “And he didn’t, which was nice, except then I never got to – like, I didn’t mean to lead him on? But it sort of – like, it’s messed up, but it’s nice to be looked at like that, sometimes, and if he didn’t do anything about it, it’s not like I could really tell him to stop.”

“That all seems pretty fair to me,” Marty says.

“Sure, but now it’s like – he’s allowed to look at her like that, too, but I’m still thinking, like, ‘he liked me first,’ even though she’s definitely into him, while I’m–” he cuts himself off, sighs. “It’s fucked up.”

“So, what are you saying?” Marty says. “You don’t like him?”

Mitch bites his lip. “I’m saying – I would probably know if I did, right?”

“Maybe,” Marty says.

Mitch shakes his head. “No, I would. He’s one of my best friends, and I care about him a lot, and I just – I would know.”

“Sometimes it takes a while to figure these things out,” Marty says.

“Not… usually? Not for me, anyway,” Mitch says.

“Okay, well – listen. If you’re this torn up about it, then – stop me if I’m way off base – but it’s definitely… not nothing,” Marty says.

“I’m not saying it’s nothing, I’m saying it’s weird, possessive–”

“Mitchy,” Marty says. “Look, you’re a good kid, alright? I don’t think you’d be beating yourself up over this if you didn’t feel something in return.”

“But I’m not sure,” Mitch says.

“Okay, but you’re… curious?” Marty says.

Mitch takes a second. “That’s a good word, yeah.”

“Okay, well, that’s a start,” Marty says.

“But I just–” Mitch starts, but then he looks over at Auston for the first time in a few minutes, and his heart sinks when he sees Auston laughing, this full-body, bright, happy thing, and Mitch just – he hates that seeing Auston smile like that makes him so fucking angry, but it does, and Mitch knows that girl had probably said something really funny or cute to get Auston laughing like this, but still. It feels like she hasn’t earned it, which is fucked up, but it’s just – Auston is Mitch’s best friend, and his teammate, and maybe Mitch is selfish.

“Mitchy?” Marty says, and Mitch tears his eyes away from Auston, doesn’t really think as he stands up from the table and starts to gather his things.

“I’ve gotta get out of here,” Mitch says. “Uh, if anyone asks, I’m not feeling well. Tell Matty not to worry, or that I’ll be pissed if he leaves early ‘cause of me.”

“I’ll come with,” Marty says. “We should keep talking–”

“No,” Mitch says. “Stay, I’m – this was… informative.” He looks at Auston, who’s not laughing anymore, but the lingering grin on his face is making Mitch feel kind of sick. “You’re right, I think I do have some stuff to figure out.”

“Okay,” Marty says. “Do what you need to, man.”

“Thanks,” Mitch says. “Seriously, thank you.”

“No worries. This could be good, okay?” Marty says.

Mitch takes a deep breath. “Right. It could be, okay. I’ll text you.”

“Let me know if I can help any more,” Marty says.

Mitch nods, says goodbye and ignores the worried looks he gets as he makes his way out of the bar, because there’s a knot of guilt untangling in his stomach, revealing something a little less clear, a little less sinister, and a lot more terrifying underneath.

#tumblr fic #asks #marnsthews #marnthews #till sunbeams find you #oh wait did i never make a post for the original story lol whoops #also i know nothing about christianity but i did have a friend who didn't know she was catholic #and she like went to church and stuff?#whatever christianity is cultural not spiritual in this #i hope you like this anon!#do i tag this with unhappy ending?#it's a prequel to a story we know has a very happy ending #i like writing this mitch So Much

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