Theo Nott you have anorexia part 3
Request: yes
I’m sorry it took so long I’ve been really struggling so I took a break from writing but I just did it and ya. Love y’all
Warnings: fluff,crying,negative thoughts, panic attacks, passing out
-please understand that not all panic or anxiety attacks look the same. I myself struggle with anxiety so this is just some of my experience with them.
After running away from Theo I slide my back down the bare wall behind me landing with a soft ‘thud’ sobbing. ‘Why can’t I be good enough’ ‘he probably has eyes for someone prettier’ ‘I’m so useless all I do is upset him’ ‘I’m ugly and-‘ your thoughts were cut off when Theo walks twords you. Your hearts racing and your breath is short. You faintly hear him talking to you. ‘ y/n, please listen to me. I love you please come back to me Babygirl’ and I want to hug him and I want to cry and tell him that I love him too and that I’m sorry for being a burden. But I don’t. I can’t. My body won’t move, I can’t talk. I can’t breathe. ‘I can’t breathe’ the words reply in my mind over,over, and over again until everything stops. Nothing. No thoughts. No mirrors to laugh at me. Just black. Peaceful black. I feel my body relax and I don’t fight it.
Part 4?
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me: hmh getting hungry
adhd: u can't eat rn you're already doing something
autism: there is nothing in the house that u like
anorexia: like u even need any calories
trauma: u've barely done anything today. you don't deserve to eat
little anime girl: burg her
me: burg her...
me:
little anime girl:
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Girls and boys hear me out, if you're having stomach aches and been bloated everytime you eat, i recommend you to get a digestive tea (it got me a flat stomach in just a night (ive been very bloated lately)). Mine consists of mint, chamomile, licorice, fennel and rooibos. 100% natural. I drink one everytime i start to have stomach aches or if i've eaten something spicy.
It works everytime.
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Do it halfway. Take one piece of trash out of your room, throw one dirty shirt into your hamper. Go to one class and miss a different one. Start a drawing without pressure to finish it. Give yourself space to Be without the expectation to Become, and do small things to make the Being livable.
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yes, food is fuel. but it is also for pleasure. it is also enjoyable. it is also emotional, personal, intimate. food is fuel, yes, but that does not make you a machine. you are allowed to eat something just because you want it, just because it sounds good, regardless of the nutritional properties. food is a shared human experience bridging across our entire existence. to reduce it to something as simplistic as fuel denies us the emotional connection that food contains. food is fuel, yes, but it is also so much more than that.
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You will never have it all figured out. That can be an uncomfortable truth to accept, but remember that the goal is not to be prepared for everything. It is simply to be capable of responding healthily to the unexpected.
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"starving/restricting doesn't work!!" THEN HOW EXACTLY DO PEOPLE WITH ANOREXIA GET HOSPITALISED FOR BEING TOO THIN??? BECAUSE IT WORKS.
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daily reminder, food is not your enemy, the number on scale doesn't define you as a person, the size of your clothing has nothing to do with your personality, and if you struggle with ed, recovery, body image issues or body dysmorphia, i hope it will pass and one day it will become a distant memory for us.
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