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genshinnrambles · 7 months

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[4.1] The Primordial Sea Pt. 2: Creation as the Key to Sin

EDIT (1/20/2024): to you, reader of the future, past me was very very wrong about this theory! like, misunderstood the lore levels of wrong. so take this post as fanfic if nothing else, it is not correct especially in the understanding of how imagination played into Caterpillar’s creation. Sorry for the blunder!

In 4.0, I wrote two theories: one was a short speculative theory on the nature of the Primordial Sea, and the second was a theory about Rhinedottir and the reason she is considered a “sinner.” With 4.1’s release, including the Archon Quest and the world quest Unfinished Comedy, I believe there is now enough information for a short follow-up theory that synthesizes them and makes one more attempt to understand 1) what it means to be a “sinner” in Teyvat, and 2) what it means to be “born with sin.”

SPOILERS: Fontaine Archon Quest up to the end of Act IV, Ancient Colors, and some dialogue from the end of Unfinished Comedy, which is a world quest with the NPC Caterpillar in the Fortress of Meropide. You have been warned!

edit: please excuse some formatting errors I’ve noticed that are only visible on mobile with some of the bulleted lists. on web, the post seems to be okay. I will fix these asap!

First I’d like to summarize the two previous theories and their main findings/points. They’re linked above if you’d like to read them in full, but it’s not necessary to follow the rest of this post.

In the Primordial Sea theory, I theorized that it could be either of these two things:

The blood of some higher being.

Who: Either Nibelung or the first Hydro Sovereign, based on the weapon ascension material lore from Fontaine

Why:

The copious End of Evangelion references in the Fontaine AQ, including how Primordial Seawater behaves so similarly to LCL, which is the blood of Lilith, who is the progenitor of humanity in Evangelion

Several life forms in Genshin have arisen from a higher being’s blood too such as the Melusine and the Jinn (technically, in the latter’s case).

The “water” in Elynas is described as “blood” by Jakob, a very peculiar description given all of the above

The amniotic fluid of the egg that hatched the Primordial One

Why: Idk man it just seemed like a possibility at the time.

Needless to say, as time goes on I’m more convinced that it’s likely the first option, blood. I have even more reasons beyond the above to believe so, but they will be outlined in another theory I’m working on right now about the Urstone in Yoimiya’s second story quest.

In the theory about Rhinedottir and the meaning of “sin,” I used Sigmund Freud’s psychoanalytic theory of dream interpretation as a framework to understand how Rhinedottir is “positioned,” so to speak, as an alchemist and creator of life. In summary:

Freud thought the psychological significance of dreams was to fulfill wishes that we haven’t fulfilled either because we have repressed them into the unconscious or cannot fulfill them in real life for one reason or another

He thought that the reason we dream is that the “wish” is attempting to be remembered and acknowledged by our ego – the dream is produced as the wish tries to cross the boundary between the conscious and the unconscious (and this boundary is “where” dreams occur)

A wish is, in essence, a thought – and dreams are the translation of a thought into images.

With this analogy in mind, here is how Rhinedottir and her dragon children fit into it:

Teyvat and everything under the rule of the Seven is the conscious/ego

The Abyss and everything outside of the rule of the Seven is the unconscious

Elynas and Durin and all of their unnamed siblings are repressed/unfulfilled wishes. A direct reference to this is actually made in the lore text for Festering Desire, where Rhinedottir does seem to explicitly refer to them as unfulfilled wishes.

Rhinedottir, then, is the “dreamer,” because she translates these “thoughts” into “images” with the power of alchemy.

The reason that this makes Rhinedottir a “sinner” is because “sinning” and “dreaming” have a pre-existing association in Genshin. An example would be the Sinshades of Tokoyo, which are afterimages of the strong emotions of Enkanomiya’s former citizens.

Freud believed these “strong emotions” are what underlie an unfulfilled wish.

The “afterimage” is a translation of the “thought” or “strong emotion” that Istaroth preserved into something with “form.”

Just like a dream (if you exclude daydreams, I suppose) only happens at night, when the “censorship” that protects our ego from repressed thoughts is weakest, the Sinshades only appear during Evernight when the Hyperion sun is extinguished.

I largely stand by everything in these two theories still, but I think what Rhinedottir theory fails to do in its current state is make clear that sinning is about more than just "dreaming," but creating life.

The Meaning of Sin: Imagination

Caterpillar, the NPC who exists somewhere between the boundary of human and Hilichurl, has something very interesting to say at the end of Unfinished Comedy when we ask him about his master, Rene (who he calls “Narzissenkreuz”), and whether or not Rene “created” him:

Caterpillar: Also, it is not quite correct to say that he "created me." Traveler: How so? Caterpillar: Creation is a feat for a god... If we may call the one above a "god." Caterpillar: In the tenets of Narzissenkreuz, do you know what is most critical in creating someone? Paimon: What is it? Caterpillar: It's imagination. Imagining a person, down to the last detail, akin to an Oceanid imagining a creature in the wild. Caterpillar: There's a story that tells of a powerful mage-priest imagining his own son, only to realize he himself was the product of someone else's imagination.

Now, I cannot emphasize enough how huge this dialogue is for solving the Archon Quest’s mystery. “Imagination” is the key – it is, at its core, just like the process of dreaming: translating thoughts into images. The only difference is that dreaming is an unconscious process that happens when we’re asleep, while using your imagination is an active, conscious process.

The other key is that creation is a feat for a god, so if someone usurps that power, they have “sinned.” Creation is so closely related here and in general to using your imagination and dreaming, translating thoughts into images and giving them “forms,” so to be “born with sin,” I think, can’t be anything short of this: being created with a power that does not “belong” to your creator.

So, let’s think about the Primordial Sea again and the prophecy: the Primordial Sea is supposed to be the origin of all life forms, and just as it gave rise to them, it will someday devour them again and cleanse their sins. If Fontainians are the only ones who dissolve when they touch Primordial Seawater, then this origin from the Primordial Sea is either so diluted in other humans in Teyvat as to be inconsequential, OR this origin is truly unique to Fontainians alone. In other words, the specific way that Fontainians were created is fundamentally different from how other humans in Teyvat were created. They were created by a power that was “usurped,” meaning that their creator is not a "true god," if we go off what Caterpillar said.

At the end of Act IV, Neuvillette uses what remains of his Authority of Hydro to push back the Primordial Sea and overrule its imminent sentencing, if only temporarily. Now, I’m still very hesitant to say that this Primordial Sea/Blood belongs to the former Hydro Sovereign Scylla, if only because it seems that Scylla and the God-King Remus went to the Primordial Sea together in the Broken Goblet of the Pristine Sea lore. Otherwise, Scylla is kinda the prime suspect here.

But to be honest, I think I was also wrong to say the Primordial Sea only ever had one “origin,” though I do think even more so now that one of those origins is a Sovereign (whether that’s Scylla or Nibelung [hmmmmmmm] or whoever). What I missed from the weapon ascension material lore is the allusion that the primordial sea is a mixture of both pure water and “ichor.” It seems that what Remus, the Usurper-King, used to create his kingdom was the ichor:

“Combining the immortal stone with the Ichor essence extracted from primordial water, and carved into a race as black as iron— with arcane lithos for skin and Ichor for blood, never again fearing the curse of returning to the primeval past…” –Wine Goblet of the Pristine Sea

And that ichor that Remus extracted is likely abyssal in nature too. This is clear from the effects of Sinthe on people who ingest it - euphoria, difficulty controlling emotions, similar to getting drunk (which, yes, its namesake is likely Absinthe). As said in A Drunkard’s Tale: "What you humans call wine, we wolves call the abyss."

This also ties back to Rhinedottir and how she created her dragons. The “medium” that Rhinedottir uses to “dream” is her alchemy, and the ingredients she used seems to have been abyssal in nature as well, hence the special “blood” or “ichor” that ran through both Durin and Elynas’ veins.

The Pure Water is likely what makes the Primordial Sea respond to Neuvillette’s authority, the “dragon” part of the Primordial Sea. So what’s up with the Abyss likely being in there too? What’s really going on here, and how is it connected with the whale?

I’m especially curious about this bit from Golden Bird’s Shedding:

“It was at this very moment that the golden era suddenly ceased, plunging down into ceaseless war and rebellion. The throne chamber was filled with cries of conquest and destruction and the agony of the barbarian tribes, and the God King awoke, startled.”

…because that sounds an awful lot like Deshret “waking up” amidst the wars in Gurabad, especially this short excerpt from Staff of the Scarlet Sands:

“"The Sand King sleeps alone in secret dreams, drawing up new theorems." "None shall have to drink salt water in the King's realm, for everything in the new world shall be good."

Did Remus find Forbidden Knowledge too? And if so…where/how?

I said this was going to be short, so I’m gonna wrap things up here despite there being more rabbit holes to go down. But I think this is it - the bearer of the “original sin,” the original sinner of Fontaine if you will, was likely Remus, who usurped the power of creation. This is the only reason that I can think Fontainians are different from other humans in Teyvat . One last thing to note is that, from the Wine Goblet of the Pristine Sea, it does sound like the prophecy predates even Remuria itself and that Remus was trying to transcend that fate by creating his golems. Maybe Remus even first heard of this prophecy from Scylla when they went to the sea together. This is why I'm trying to be so specific - he was the first to try and transcend this fated end in Fontaine.

As for how or why these “sins” persist, why or how they keep being reborn after the great flood reclaims the "ichor" that was stolen from it....I think only the Golden Troupe and Rene de Petrichor knew.

On the bright side, let’s say everybody gets dissolved in the finale of Act V and Furina really is the only one left, weeping on her throne: as long as she remembers everyone, can imagine them down to the last detail, she should be able to bring everyone back. But if it goes that way, the cycle would probably just repeat. Surely she has another plan?

Anyway, thanks for reading! If you have a different take I’d also be happy to hear it, as this doesn't come close to covering everything and I'm sure there's still a lot of holes re: Remurian civilization details.

#genshin impact #genshin lore #genshin meta #genshin impact lore #genshin impact meta #genshin theory #fontaine lore #primordial sea #rhinedottir #hydro sovereign #remuria #narzissenkreuz #theory

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dailyanarchistposts · 2 months

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Chapter 1. Human Nature

Aren’t people naturally warlike?

Political philosophers like Thomas Hobbes and psychologists like Sigmund Freud assumed that civilization and government have a moderating effect on what they saw as people’s warlike and brutal instincts. Pop-culture representations of human origins, like the first scenes of the film 2001: A Space Odyssey or the illustrations in children’s books of hyper-masculine cavemen battling mammoths and sabertooth tigers, provide a picture that can be as convincing as memory: early humans had to fight one another and even battle nature to survive. But if early human life had been as bloody and warlike as our mythology has depicted it, humans would simply have died out. Any species with a reproductive cycle of 15–20 years that usually only produce one offspring at a time simply cannot survive if their chance for dying in any given year is more than a couple percent. It would have been mathematically impossible for Homo sapiens to have survived that imaginary battle against nature and against one another.

Anarchists have long alleged that war is a product of the state. Some anthropological research has produced accounts of peaceful stateless societies, and of warfare among other stateless societies that was little more than a rough sport with few casualties[9]. Naturally, the state has found its defenders, who have set out to prove that war is indeed inevitable and thus not the fault of specific oppressive social structures. In one monumental study, War Before Civilization, Lawrence Keeley showed that of an extensive sample of stateless societies, a large number had engaged in aggressive warfare, and a great majority had engaged at the very least in defensive warfare. Only a tiny minority had never encountered war, and a few fled their homelands to avoid war. Keeley was endeavoring to show that people are warlike, even though his results demonstrated that people could choose from a wide range of behaviors including being warlike, avoiding war but still defending against aggression, not knowing war at all, and disliking war so much they would flee their homeland rather than fight. Contrary to his title, Keeley was documenting war after civilization, not “before.” A major part of his data on non-Western societies came from the explorers, missionaries, soldiers, traders, and anthropologists who rode the waves of colonization around the world, bringing land conflicts and ethnic rivalries to previously unimaginable scales through mass enslavement, genocide, invasion, evangelism, and the introduction of new weapons, diseases, and addictive substances. Needless to say, the civilizing influence of the colonizers generated warfare at the margins.

Keeley’s study characterizes as warlike societies that had been peaceful for a hundred years but were chased off their land and, given the options of starving to death or invading their neighbors’ territory for space to live, chose the latter. The fact that under these conditions of global colonialism, genocide, and enslavement any societies remained peaceful at all proves that if people really want to, they can be peaceful even in the worst of circumstances. Not to say that in such circumstances there is anything wrong with fighting back against aggression!

War may be the result of natural human behavior, but so is peace. Violence certainly existed before the state, but the state developed warfare and domination to unprecedented levels. As one of its great proponents pointed out, “war is the health of the state.” It is no mistake that the institutions of power in our civilization — media, academia, government, religions — have exaggerated the prevalence of war and understated the possibility for peace. These institutions are invested in ongoing wars and occupations; they profit from them, and attempts to create a more peaceful society threaten their existence.

One such attempt is the Faslane Peace Camp, a land occupation outside Scotland’s Faslane Naval Base, which houses Trident nuclear missiles. The Peace Camp is a popular expression of the desire for a peaceful society, organized on anarchist and socialist lines. Faslane Peace Camp has been continuously occupied since June 1982 and is now well established, with hot water and bathroom facilities, a communal kitchen and living room, and 12 caravans housing permanent residents and space for visitors. The Peace Camp serves as a base area for protests in which people block the roads, shut down the gates, and even penetrate the base itself to carry out sabotage. Galvanized by the Peace Camp, there is widespread popular opposition to the naval base, and some of Scotland’s political parties have called for the base to be closed down. In September 1981, a group of Welsh women formed a similar camp, the Greenham Common Women’s Peace Camp, outside an RAF base housing cruise missiles in Berkshire, England. The women were forcibly evicted in 1984 but immediately reoccupied the site, and in 1991 the last missiles were removed. The camp remained until 2000, when the women won permission to set up a commemorative memorial.

These peace camps bear some similarity to the Life and Labor Commune, the largest of the Tolstoyan communes. It was an agricultural commune established near Moscow in 1921 by people following the pacifist and anarchist teachings of Leo Tolstoy. Its members, nearly one thousand at their peak, were at odds with the Soviet government on account of refusing to perform military service. For this reason, the commune was finally shut down by the authorities in 1930; but during its existence, the participants created a large self-organized community in peace and resistance.

The Catholic Worker movement began in the United States in 1933 as a response to the Great Depression, but today many of the 185 Catholic Worker communities throughout North America and Europe focus on opposing the militarism of the government and creating the foundations of a peaceful society. Inseparable from their opposition to war is their commitment to social justice, which manifests in the soup kitchens, shelters, and other service projects to help the poor that form a part of every Catholic Worker house. Although Christian, the Catholic Workers generally criticize church hierarchy and promote tolerance of other religions. They are also anti-capitalist, preaching voluntary poverty and “distributist communitarianism; self-sufficien[cy] through farming, crafting, and appropriate technology; a radically new society where people will rely on the fruits of their own toil and labor; associations of mutuality, and a sense of fairness to resolve conflicts.”[10] Some Catholic Workers even call themselves Christian Anarchists. Catholic Worker communities, which function as communes or aid centers for the poor, often provide a base for protests and direct actions against the military. Catholic Workers have entered military bases to sabotage weaponry, though they waited for the police afterwards, intentionally going to jail as a further act of protest. Some of their communities also shelter victims of war, such as torture survivors fleeing the results of US imperialism in other countries.

How peaceful a society could we create if we overcame the belligerence of governments and fostered new norms in our culture? The Semai, agriculturalists in Malaya, offer one indication. Their murder rate is only 0.56/100,000 per year, compared with 0.86 in Norway, 6.26 in the US, and 20.20 in Russia.[11] This may be related to their childrearing strategy: traditionally the Semai do not hit their children, and respect for their children’s autonomy is a normalized value in their society. One of the few occasions in which Semai adults will typically intervene is when children lose their tempers or fight one another, in which case nearby adults will snatch up the children and take them to their respective houses. The major forces that uphold Semai peacefulness seem to be an emphasis on learning self-control and the great importance accorded to public opinion in a cooperative society.

According to Robert Dentan, a Western anthropologist who lived with them, “little violence occurs within Semai society. Violence, in fact, seems to terrify the Semai. A Semai does not meet force with force, but with passivity or flight. Yet, he has no institutionalized way of preventing violence — no social controls, no police or courts. Somehow a Semai learns automatically always to keep tight rein over his aggressive impulses.”[12] The first time the Semai participated in a war was when the British conscripted them to fight against the Communist insurgency in the early 1950s. Clearly, warfare is not an inevitability and certainly not a human need: rather, it is a consequence of political, social, and economic arrangements, and these arrangements are ours to shape.

#anarchism #daily posts #communism #anti capitalist #anti capitalism #late stage capitalism #anarchy #anarchists #libraries #leftism #anarchy works

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psychreviews2 · 1 month

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Mindfulness: Letting go

Replacements

After completing the Freud series I was thinking a lot about how difficult it is for people to change, and I especially was thinking a lot about 'The Wolfman,' on his inability to move on and become an agent in his own life. One can be stuck in helplessness or in a victim mentality like he was for the rest of his life. Sergei Pankejeff in his later years talked about Freud's suggestion that patients must make the choice to get better. One of the ways of doing that Freud hinted in his review of Serge was the value of concentration. So much of Positive Psychology confirms that Flow states don't happen without persistent absorption. You basically have to string together one immersive task after another without too many long breaks between activities where depression and boredom can derail the momentum.

'The Wolfman' Pt. 3: https://rumble.com/v1gulsf-case-studies-the-wolfman-33-freud-and-beyond.html

Freud also talked about remorse and paying attention to desires where one can organize them based on priority. Some pleasures are poor replacements for greater desires that people find more satisfying and blameless in the long-term. Desire is a dangerous thing because if what it wants isn't available, it immediately pushes for a short-term replacement, and they are often of lesser value. Also, if you desire something that hurts oneself and or others, pleasure quickly turns into pain. Another problem is having people openly talk about how people should behave. It can easily lead to hypocrisy since normal patterns of human behaviour show that people don't follow their own rules. The mind can disagree with itself even while it's being didactic about "shoulds." It's easier to give advice than follow it. Following "shoulds" can also be inauthentic because people are only motivated by getting praise and avoiding blame. In Freudian language, it's to satisfy the Super-ego and to reinforce repression against Id desires and Ego targets for satisfaction. In other words, people behave differently only because they feel they are being watched. As soon as they are in a private life, which isn't as private anymore, the old habits return.

The Ego and the Id - Sigmund Freud: https://rumble.com/v1gvdo1-the-ego-and-the-id-sigmund-freud.html

Freud then naturally looked at desires and saw that excessive repression was very damaging and it could lead to all kinds of psychological problems like depression, and maladaptive defense mechanisms. The goal was to learn how to discharge pleasure in a way that is reciprocal and reduces remorse. Yet, it's been decades since Freud died, but his questions are still important since COVID19 lockdowns disrupted the economy. Lost jobs and crushed dreams make people precisely look for replacements. Of course, this can happen during normal times, but especially so when there is a crisis and people are depressed. Twelve-step groups point out experiences of HALT, or Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and Tired as typical precursors for an impulse to get something addictive as a replacement.

A brief search of DSM-5 addictions shows a wide variety of options: Alcohol, Tobacco, Opioids, Prescription drugs, Cocaine, Marijuana, Amphetamines, Hallucinogens, Inhalants, PCP, and many more. Addictions can also include behavioural ones: Gambling, Kleptomania, Pyromania, Food, Sex, Pornography, Playing video games, Surfing the net, and Shopping. There are also healthier types of addictions that can be rewarded in society: Workaholism, Excessive Exercise, and Spiritual Obsessions. Even pain itself can be addictive if the person is looking for the relief that happens after a behaviour like Cutting for example.

Lost Souls - Doves: https://youtu.be/dxAilm72Y4M

Many people go through one or more addictions in their lives and it creates a stigma where the person is essentially labeled based on their addiction. Much like how most names are based on some activity, work, or source of pleasure, one can be labeled permanently that way. It's like your last name changed. It's like being named Miranda Cokehead, or James Workaholic. People often don't change precisely because they take in those external labels and continue on the same behaviour patterns, along with low self-esteem. Any compassionate methods of change have to help people find a way out of these labels. Part of the problem is that society requires people to be pure, yet if you're pure, you don't need development. In reality, nobody is pure. Learning from psychopaths and narcissists, especially in person, the purity game is what they are about and they know how to dress the part and manipulate leverage. This is why they end up shocking people when they become your boss, or they marry you. You finally see the other side. But then it's too late and it takes years to extricate yourself from their sphere of influence.

The problem with labels is that they are usually misleading and don't predict future behaviour changes. Labels are only accurate if behaviour continues, but are detrimental and can trigger relapses when people have made strides towards improvement only to be shamed for past behaviour again. For example, a stigmatized person feels lonely, like part of the acronym HALT, and then looks for addictive replacements: a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Some people even want these patterns to continue because they make money off of them. If you look at the list above, a lot of our economy depends on these addictions, especially consumerism. Moderation with some of the above activities, especially behavioural ones aren't attacked by psychologists as much, but when a person's life is devoured by a single activity, then it's considered an addiction. Certainly working and exercising are healthier choices and it won't be noticed that something's wrong until a person realizes they don't know their kids, or that their excessive exercise has caused an injury.

What all these substances or activities have in common is a need to regulate emotions. How we are typically conditioned in our society is to take any bad feelings, especially stress and boredom, and to find some substance or activity that relieves anxiety, even if only there are temporary results. The problem of course is that the mind requires ever more intense substances or activities to create a reward large enough to stave off boredom, which is called tolerance. Also painful withdrawal symptoms, a biological response to the lack of the substance, propels people to keep on the addiction treadmill.

Being shameless is good for you - Marisa Peer: https://youtu.be/PBg7iSdDZBM

Healthy nihilism

Naturally, people turn to things like meditation because of all the talk of Letting Go, and all the promises of change. But even in meditation practice, the mind quickly co-opts the practice and continues in the same direction of habits and people often don't approach that tipping point of change. With Psychoanalysis, one can piece together a developmental past and there is some relief in knowing one's influences, causes, and effects. "I am this way because of these past events...I felt like garbage so I looked for replacements." Grieving about past mistakes, or missed opportunities can discharge affect by allowing oneself to feel remorse completely. When the grieving is exhausted the emotions are free to exercise more choice. Deep meditation can also banish that sense of lack for periods at a time.

All these psychological modalities help to deal with self-stigma at a basic level so that the person can still enjoy their addictions with less self-attacking, and hopefully, they may moderate their consumption, but maybe not. It's commonly called a Nihilism phase that people find very common in a person's meditation practice. There are many beautiful experiences that one can attain with Jhanas, and as the Super-ego judging begins to recede from consciousness, one can be free to enjoy conventional life without caring what people think and also what one thinks of oneself.

Concentration and mindfulness can also enhance common pleasures in life. For example, mindfulness helps to eliminate distractions when one is trying to enjoy something. The book Savoring by Bryant and Veroff talks about this benefit of being able to eliminate "Killjoy thinking." Many of us have been there where we create our own unhappiness with mental talk. Mental talk is really important because most of it is not exactly pleasant. Most mental chatter is actually one form or another of judging or complaining. Judgment releases stress, so endless judging means endless stress, and it's self-inflicted. Some good examples of negative talk the book provides involve ruining a vacation.

I was so homesick.

I worried that I would run out of money.

I took too many drugs.

The trip wasn’t as good as I thought it would be.

I drank too much.

Collapse - Aphex Twin: https://youtu.be/SqayDnQ2wmw

The Big Lebowski - The Dude meets Bunny: https://youtu.be/upUjNZRAapQ

On the positive side of nihilism, and when circumstances and the environment are cooperating, one can enjoy activities with a quiet mind and no distractions. Like in my Heraclitus video, being one with the environment and learning to appreciate can make mundane experiences become filled with a sense wonder. This comes from comparing what exists to non-existence. We didn't have to be born, and opportunities like these don't have to exist right now. In the book, they called this comparison pleasure Marveling. Some other verbs they list include basking, which is reflecting on accomplishments, and luxuriating which is enjoying physical pleasure. Luxuriating is a reminder that we do get pleasure from pleasant thoughts, but we don't want concepts to crowd out the actual experiences themselves. It's so hard to enjoy things as adults precisely because we are habitually thinking about experiences instead of actually experiencing them. It's nice to just engage in the activity and let psychological rewards happen naturally.

Heraclitus - https://youtu.be/15JZXiHsD6A

I talked about the vacation with my friends.

I took a lot of photos.

I bought gifts to bring back for other people.

I thought about how much better it was than just sitting at home.

I just went along with what was happening one day at a time.

I replayed the highlights in my mind over and over again.

Savoring was such a nice book in that you could turn to any page and find something useful. Positive Psychology books often need more examples and fewer reminders that we should try to be happy. We already know that, so what are some recommendations?

Choose experiences where there's a lower chance of failure.

Reduce distractions.

Focus your attention more on what is excellent.

Learn a skill well enough so that fear of failure decreases when using it.

Recount positive stories.

Add variety to experiences.

Add gaps in pleasure to avoid spoiling and psychological tolerance.

Share experiences with others which creates bonding and shared memories.

Enjoy pleasurable activities after going through stressful experiences.

Rehearse or journal highlights so they can be recalled later.

Compare poor experiences to even poorer ones. "Things could've been worse."

Plan experiences to reduce obstacles. Planning has a side benefit in that it also creates a pleasure in anticipating.

Celebrate important events.

Become engrossed in activities with mindfulness.

Count your blessings.

Chain positive experiences with each other. Eg. A good vacation, but an even better romance.

Planning activities that all participants can enjoy.

Remind oneself of impermanence and the limited time we all have.

Find meaningful associations. Eg. Learning something meaningful while attending a museum. Learning spiritual insights that you can take home with you.

Don't force savoring experiences with those negative judgmental thoughts. Let flavours and sensations happen and pass away naturally. Not all experiences are 100% intense and excellent. Glide with the ebb and flow by relaxing any psychological pushing or pulling. Slowing down to pay attention helps, but trying to make the sensations and flavours last longer is just another judgmental stress release that pollutes the experience. The self controls with pushing and pulling. Reminding oneself that pushing and pulling won't make flavours last longer also helps one to enjoy letting go. It's an inverse pleasure of an absence of stress. "I don't have to make it last longer."

Ibiza Spliff - Aphex Twin: https://youtu.be/NoRB6zN3ZbY

As one begins to learn about Positive Psychology and get some wisdom about how it works, there's a natural tendency to want to control life so that it conforms with happiness more. The book suggests that the social aspect can't be ignored, and negative social experiences can mar your pleasure.

Find people where enjoying pleasure around them isn't a problem.

Free yourself from activities that involve social and esteem concerns.

Give priority to close relationships.

There are also individual preconditions for savoring.

Focus on the present.

Enhance attentional focus on a positive experience.

Take control of your time.

Seek activities that engage your skills.

Become more physically active.

Get an adequate amount of sleep.

Include humor.

Journal your experiences.

What isn't highlighted in the book, or in any Buddhism that I have been taught, is that the general public has a common sense understanding that when people have many experiences as described above, it's hard for people in old age to say that they haven't lived when their life story has so many highlights. One can't do everything, but if one has done a lot, a natural thankfulness can emerge. No matter what anyone says, or is too jealous to admit, a life full of savoring is very good.

[Slo]w early morning clissold sunrise - Aphex Twin: https://youtu.be/eCFn4c1QpTM

Letting go

Where spirituality can have some points against the above pleasures is the clinging and addiction we can encounter when life gets out of balance. This is especially true when only one pleasure is emphasized over all others. It can be a problem that was long-standing for a yogi and has to be faced. Even if we enjoy alcohol, cigars, food or whatever else we like, there can be a problem with the advice above to focus on positive experience and to ignore negative experiences. You can even see a hint of it in some of the suggestions to plan to reduce the chances of negative experiences interfering with activities. You couldn't achieve that without some perception of negativity. In Buddhism, imagination and anticipation can actually be used to help practitioners gain some counterintuitive pleasures related to letting go. It's the desire for peace beyond sensual pleasure.

The late Rob Burbea had some great suggestions, and certainly, my prior video on Jhanas is a good place to start for many. We emotionally feed, and as Freud described, there is constant pressure from the Id to feed. This is partially the reason for hypocrisy because any principles people make for themselves will be subject to that libido/craving pressure. The pleasure experienced in meditation is a form of emotional feeding, except you didn't ingest any substances or engaged in any process addictions that constantly want setups and payoffs. One could use the acronym HALT and see if consistent attention to the breath with few gaps, lots of scanning the body for tension, and relaxing it, can regulate the emotions enough so that substances and process activities aren't needed. Meditation of course can take longer than a substance, but persistence here for a few minutes is often enough. Self-retreats for an hour or more can replace TV and other scatterbrained internet activities so that the brain achieves success in draining tension. When the brain is emotionally satisfied, letting go happens naturally. It's kind of like making sure you eat a meal before going shopping where food cravings would lead to restaurants, maybe alcohol, and bigger bills.

There is also the benefit of reduced conflict. If I don't have to compete for pleasure against other people, because the breath is inherently mine, and I'm going to breathe anyways, then the A part of HALT is also taken care of. Like most pleasures, we want to defend against someone else getting them, but instead, we can protect our concentration from conditioned thoughts that chip away at the benefits.

"When we talk about samadhi, that’s almost by definition a nourishing state: I’m just going to hang out in this field, in this bubble, and make it nice and warm and just as comfortable as can be, and just dwell in that, let myself rest in that and be nourished by it. Often we grasp at things and we can’t let go because our level of nourishment, the reservoir is too low... Even if it feels completely futile, over time that muscle gets – we get better at just dropping and returning. So to have faith in that. It’s kind of very, very simple."

The Jhanas: https://rumble.com/v1gqznl-the-jhanas.html

Emotional Feeding: https://rumble.com/v1gqvl1-emotional-feeding-thanissaro-bhikkhu.html

The Ego and the Id: https://rumble.com/v1gvdo1-the-ego-and-the-id-sigmund-freud.html

Rob also liked to use timelines. You're going to return to that normal state no matter what you get or achieve in the future. It's already here. Just make the trip in your mind. "We get caught in wanting this thing or that thing or this thing to unfold or that person or whatever it is, and how many times have we been through this before? How many times has it really satisfied us? So sometimes a little bit of reflection: what is this thing, what is getting this thing really going to give me? Am I really going to be fulfilled getting it? Sometimes it’s a matter of going deeper into what I want: is this thing what I really want? Do I even really want it? I’m so caught up there, but is that really what I want? What I deeply want? And recognizing it’s not what I really deeply want, there can be more ease in letting go. Sometimes it’s remembering how often in the past we’ve got what we wanted but...it ended up not being quite what we had imagined it might be before we got it. Almost always, things turn out differently than what we think. So it’s like, just bring that wisdom at the starting instead of at the end."

Many of us already have life experiences we can turn to when joining a practice like this, so it's a good reminder that we tend to return to old habits many times before a perceivable change occurs. Realistically, many people will still act on their wanting, depending on how strong their habits are, and how weak their practice is. Each individual brain is different. To move further for many people, it requires that they add more negative detail that no one wants to look at. It's a practice that many in the west try to avoid, which is to actually look for disgust and downsides to our pleasures. In Pure and Simple, Upasika Kee Nanayon makes it pure and simple indeed.

"The first requirement when you come to practice is that you need to be the sort of person who loves the truth and you need to have endurance to do what's true. Only then will your practice get anywhere. Otherwise, it all turns into failure and you go back to being a slave to your defilements and cravings just as before. When you don't contemplate yourself, how much suffering do you cause for yourself? And how much do you cause for others? These are things we should contemplate as much as we can. If we don't, we keep trying to get, get, get. We don't try to let go, to put things aside, to make any sacrifices at all. We just keep trying to get, for the more we get, the more we want...If you're going to let go of anything, you first have to see its drawbacks. If you just tell yourself to let go, let go, the mind won't easily obey. You really have to see the drawbacks of the thing you're holding onto, and then the mind will let go, of its own accord. It's like grabbing hold of fire: When you feel the heat, you let go of your own accord and will never dare grasp it again."

Stop eating roadkill - Thanissaro Bhikkhu: https://www.dhammatalks.org/Archive/y2020/200806_Stop_Eating_Roadkill.mp3

Adjust the flame - Thanissaro Bhikkhu: https://www.dhammatalks.org/Archive/y2020/200916_Adjust_the_Flame.mp3

Where your mind gravitates - Thanissaro Bhikkhu: https://www.dhammatalks.org/Archive/y2020/201019_Where_Your_Mind_Gravitates.mp3

Spiritual Bypassing: https://rumble.com/v1gpm57-spiritual-bypassing-and-inner-bonding.html

It's better to welcome the impulse, but instead of acting, only act in the imagination. The mind swirls around pleasurable details, and as expected, it ignores negative details. The swirling creates pressure to act. To move the imagery towards realistic details of costs, health consequences, and potential conflicts can turn off the craving. When the internal conflict ends, the dualism ironically allows one to regain mental peace and relax in Oneness again.

The great thing about disenchantment is that it's an authentic feeling. Instead of mimicking someone else's judgment in a Super-ego, you are following the imagery of yourself going through the pleasure-procedures and feeling the pain as if it happened to you in concrete reality. We react to fake movies, why not make realistic documentaries in your mind instead? This time you're changing not because someone told you to. People are not readily going to give you validation and a pat on the back, which is ultimately not a stable reward. Deep down the wishes and desires are trying to take out of the environment what it wants to, regardless of whether reality has enough to support those wishes. The mind can push and pull against reality, building up a sense of self in the background. "It's hard to see the drawbacks of sensual passion, but even harder to see the drawbacks of more subtle things, like your sense of self."

One of the great explainers of how to see through the sense of self is Adyashanti. One of his tests is to let go of being for or against anything and watch the mental noise decrease with equanimity. It's like a radio where the volume control can turn up or down depending on how much resistance there is. This clinging, the sense of self, is also a sensation and has to be accounted for in the cause and effect of sensations that we note in our mindfulness practice. "Somehow we've came to this conclusion, that where there is a sense of self, a sense of me, that there actually is a Me." Seeing the self as a sensation disidentifies from it because it's seen by the same awareness that notices other sensations, though albeit with more complexity that needs to be deconstructed for the different ways the self arises in thoughts and feelings. Instead of a self here noting an experience over there, all experiences can be noticed, including the Ego play-acting as a meditator. Cause and effect involve what we include as self which pushes/pulls/resists/is for, or is against, what is. The pushing and pulling, against what is very difficult or impossible to control, is what makes the intense solid sense of self. Controlling makes the sense of a Controller, but this sense of solidity is in fact a moving target that increases in tension as it resists what's here, or recedes into the background when it surrenders. Instead of a self manipulating a marionette body, the efforting, strategizing, planning, and controlling part of the mind is a natural part of the cause and effect of the Universe. The sense of separation comes from the thought construct of ME, self-measurement, and a projected self through time.

"It would almost be like...somebody spraying perfume without you even knowing it...Let's say you smell...roses...and almost immediately your first conclusion [would be] 'where are the roses?' You look around and you expect to find a dozen roses...and then you don't find [them] and then relatively quickly you realize, there are no actual roses, there's just the scent of roses." Noticing the self-belief instead as a sensation dissipates the illusion of a solid controller, which relaxes over-efforting that has always been connected with that old belief. The irony is that when you let go of the sense of a separate self, it allows you to be yourself more fully. Self-sensations are finally included with all other sensations that awareness is aware of. With letting go, human emotions are allowed, including humility, without a sense that one has to be a pure person.

Cornish Spreek5b [St. Nectan S Glen Waterfalls Mix] - Aphex Twin: https://youtu.be/H6yPLpfaGQI

Resources:

Savoring: A New Model of Positive Experience - Bryant and Veroff: https://www.isbns.net/isbn/9780805851205/

Of Hermits and Lovers: The Alchemy of Desire - Rob Burbea and Catherine McGee: https://dharmaseed.org/retreats/3383/

Pure and Simple - Upasika Kee Nanyon: https://www.isbns.net/isbn/9780861717514/

Tracy, N. (2012, January 12). Types of Addiction: List of Addictions, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2020, September 5 from https://www.healthyplace.com/addictions/addictions-information/types-of-addiction-list-of-addictions

Adyashanti - August 26, 2020 - https://youtu.be/heW7w3cQtDk

Contemplative Practice: http://psychreviews.org/category/contemplativepractice/

#psychology #positive psychology #meditation #buddhism

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aliceward · 11 months

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Dream About Analyst

What Does it Mean to Dream About Analyst? According to an otherworldly viewpoint, this dream implies that you need to gander at your behavior in your life and how you are speaking with others.

My name is Flo and I will assist you with disentangling this dream. In this way, if you are an analyst in your plan, it implies that you need to zero in on your direct conduct. To dream of seeing an analyst means that circumstances are going to improve things. There are numerous suppositions when deciphering an intent about an analyst.

Dream About Analyst

To have this dream demonstrates that exhortation from others in waking life ought to be accepted. According to the individual’s point of view highlighted inside your dream, ponder how the individual in question is taking a gander at you or investigating you. Are there any significant issues that you can do to advance your position or character in cognizant existence? In your dream, you might have seen a specialist or been an advisor or analyst. At times, it isn’t unexpected to the vision of investigating the financial exchange. If you are exploring the securities exchange in your dream, then it means money, so bravo!

Itemized dream understanding Various propensities can be seen in assessing this dream’s meaning, mainly if you are conversing with somebody regarding your issues or feelings. This dream is a solid message: you need to figure out your sentiments and separate errands into reasonable lumps. Sigmund Freud once considered goals the “imperial street to the oblivious,” which stayed consistent with brain research until the end of time. Freud’s dream text, “The Interpretation of Dreams,” contains a portion of his best work concerning dreams.

A dream that includes an analyst could signify changes and improvement in your life. It likewise demonstrates your internal need to substantiate yourself to individuals. You don’t need to verify yourself with anybody. Furthermore, that is the thing that your dream is attempting to advise you. If you were an analyst in your plan, it could demonstrate that you’re dealing with issues at work or beating difficulties. It could likewise imply that you need to quit examining everything in your life and take the path of least resistance now and again.

Analyst dream meaning If you are an analyst and dreamed that you were an analyst, it demonstrates the amount you love your work; notwithstanding, it likewise shows your fixation on work that might influence your relationship with individuals and ruin your public activity. It could again imply that you need to begin noticing yourself more and work on your disposition. If you dreamed of plans of action or saw a report in your dream, it shows you are fixated on work and need to enjoy some time off to re-energize your batteries. The plans of action you saw address your tentative arrangements that should be arranged cautiously before you begin acknowledging anything. The report addresses your steady should be refreshed with the most recent data at work. That is one of the principal reasons why a portion of your colleagues battle with you.

If the business sectors slammed in your dreams, it shows that you continually and pointless stressing over everything. The majority of the things that we are terrified of never occur, and that is the thing that your dream is attempting to advise you. It could likewise imply that another test it’s coming, and you will not be prepared for it. In any case, that doesn’t propose you will not have the option to defeat it. You will win a test and further develop your work insight by discovering some new information.

If you were accountable for an undertaking in your dream, you merit advancement at work, or your business will be fruitful. In any case, you’re not happy with your professional success,’ and you continually long for another test. Your dream is attempting to advise you to begin zeroing in on getting a new line of work that lives up to your desires.

If you acquired some work as an analyst in your dream, this shows your longing for satisfaction and professional success. Your goal is empowering you to leave a task that makes you sad and search for another work that addresses your issues and will work on your quality and wants to chip away at a significant venture. It could likewise recommend that you are working for something outside your field of work, which can cause you disappointment. Quit conflicting with your own will and quit your present place of employment. Even though it’s a great job, it undoubtedly influences your mindset badly.

What’s the significance here to dream of losing your work as an analyst in your dream? A new position opportunity will thump on your entryway very soon. You should conclude whether to leave your present place of employment or keep working where you are. Your dream is encouraging you to acknowledge the bid for jobs and start another life. Likewise, it could infer that you need to focus closer on your connections in life before it’s past the point of no return. Your work is influencing your private life, and you need to track down a superior equilibrium.

In your dream you may have experienced the following: You were an analyst in the dream. You are an analyst, in actuality, yet had a dream that you were additionally an analyst. You dreamed of plans of action. You saw a report in your dream. The business sectors slammed in the dream. You were accountable for an undertaking in your plan. You acquired some work as an analyst in your dream. You dreamed of books in your dream. You examined things in your dream. Sentiments that may have happened during a dream of Analyst: Unreliable. Terrified. Stress. Dismal. Discouraged. Irate. Caught. Crushed. Dicey. If you experienced any freedom of aggravations during the condition of rest, this might have influenced your dream. Ailment. Terrified. Stressed. Befuddled. Upset. Astonished. Tired. Frail.

Positive changes are forthcoming if: During the dream, you further developed your relational abilities. You acknowledged the guidance from individuals near you. You figured out your sentiments. You assigned or separate errands. Dream Analysis Dream analysis is a therapeutic technique best known for its use in psychoanalysis. Sigmund Freud viewed dreams as “the royal road” to the unconscious and developed dream analysis, or dream interpretation, as a way of tapping into this unconscious material.

Mental health professionals may also utilize dream analysis as part of therapeutic frameworks such as Jungian, Gestalt, cognitive behavioral, and art therapies.

THE USE OF DREAM ANALYSIS IN THERAPY Most theoretical models use the basic tenets of dream analysis in the same way: A person in therapy relates a dream to the therapist, discussion and processing follows, and new information is gleaned from the dream. At the conclusion of the process, the therapist can help the person apply the new information in a useful way. Although these similarities exist, each therapy model applies dream analysis in different ways.

Psychoanalysis: In psychoanalytic theory, dreams represent wish fulfillment, unconscious desires, and conflicts. Dreams contain both manifest and latent content. Manifest content includes information from the dream as the dreamer remembers it. Latent content represents the repressed, symbolic meaning embedded within the dream. During dream analysis, the person in therapy shares the manifest content of the dream with the therapist. After specific symbols are pulled from the manifest content, the therapist utilizes free association to facilitate the exploration of repressed material.

For example, Lisa, a student, shares a dream with her therapist in which she is in the back seat of a moving car that has no driver. The stoplight ahead turns red, and she is unable stop the car. The therapist helps Lisa break down the manifest content into the following symbols: moving car, back seat, red light, and loss of brakes. Through the process of free association, Lisa shares whatever comes to mind when thinking about each symbol. The therapist interprets these associations and offers potential meanings. Lisa and her therapist decide that the dream represents the unconscious conflict she has felt about choosing a career. She reveals that her parents want her to study medicine and she has not yet told them she wants to be a writer. The therapist suggests that the runaway car is on a path to a future she does not desire. Until she gets into the driver's seat, she will not be able to stop it. This interpretation fits for Lisa, and she decides to tell her parents about her career aspirations. Jungian analysis: Jungian analysis is similar to Freud's psychoanalysis in that dreams are probed for unconscious material and symbols are explored for hidden meaning. However, in Jungian dream analysis, the dreamer is more crucial in unlocking the dream's message. Additionally, dreams are seen as attempts to express and create rather than efforts to repress and disguise, as in Freud's theory. Jungian dream analysis is based on Jung's belief that unless the interpretation resonates with the dreamer, the interpretation is not helpful.

In addition to the free association method described above, Jungian analysis also utilizes a technique called amplification. Amplification is based on the assumption that humanity shares a collective unconscious, or a set of inherited universal experiences. In this technique, collectively agreed-upon associations are explored. For example, if the person in therapy dreams about a dog, the therapist will encourage the exploration and research of universally understood information about dogs (dogs are affectionate, man's best friend, dogs in mythology, and so on). Amplification goes beyond using just the individual's associations; it explores the collective understanding of the symbol to help the individual find meaning in the dream.

Gestalt therapy: Dreamwork in Gestalt therapy is implemented somewhat differently than in psychoanalysis and Jungian analysis. Gestalt therapists believe that dreams are existential messages we send to ourselves. These messages are actively explored to bring dream content into a person's actual life.

A major technique used in Gestalt dream analysis is the “Take the Part of” technique. In this process, the therapist asks the person to write down everything remembered about the dream. The person is then asked to act out each “part” of the dream, creating a dialogue between the parts. For example, if a man dreams about a hooded figure standing in his garden, the therapist might tell the man to ask the figure questions. He might ask, “What are you doing in my garden?” and then answer, playing the part of the figure, “I am here to protect your loved ones.” This back-and-forth playing of parts helps people in therapy clarify feelings from all angles.

Existential art therapy: In this approach, dreams are explored through an existential lens. The therapist acts as a witness as the person in therapy attempts a journey of self-discovery. Dream images are explored, interacted with, and analyzed through art. The existential art therapist encourages those in therapy through their attempts to find meaning from the imagery, providing support but avoiding making interpretations for the individual.

HISTORY OF DREAM ANALYSIS IN THERAPY Dreams have intrigued the human race for thousands of years. In ancient times, the Babylonians and Egyptians believed dreams were prophetic and held heavenly meaning. Aristotle interpreted dreams as psychological phenomena and viewed them as the life of one's soul while asleep. In the middle of the 19th century, the first scientifically-based dream research took place, but it was not until Freud published The Interpretation of Dreams in 1900 that dream analysis widely developed. His was the first established theory that incorporated dreams within the context of the helping relationship. Jung adapted Freud's theory, proposing that dreams do not signify repressed unconscious drives but represent expressions of creativity aimed at resolution. Since then, other therapy models like Gestalt therapy, art therapy, and cognitive behavioral therapy have used dream analysis in one fashion or another.

DREAM ANALYSIS IN CONTEMPORARY THERAPY Although dream analysis has waned in contemporary use, it remains an integral part of some theoretical frameworks. According to a study from the Journal of Psychotherapy Practice and Research, dream analysis appears to be most popular among psychoanalysts trained in psychodynamic theory. The study found that dream analysis is also used in the following models, although it is not as common: person-centered therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, and Gestalt therapy. Additionally, psychotherapists who participated in the study estimated that approximately 70% of the individuals they treated obtained some benefit from dream analysis.

ADDRESSING MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES WITH DREAM ANALYSIS Because the primary goal of dream analysis is to help people address the problems they are currently facing, it can be used to address many mental health issues. A newer cognitive behavioral technique called image rehearsal therapy has been developed to address concerns like posttraumatic stress and chronic nightmares. In image rehearsal therapy (IRT), the goal is to rewrite the nightmare's story. The therapist may coach the person in treatment to relay the bad dream, write it down, and then change the content to something positive, encouraging the individual to mentally rehearse this new dream script for up to 20 minutes a day in order to decrease the frequency and intensity of the nightmare. Due to its reported effectiveness, IRT is recommended as a best-practice standard for the treatment of nightmares, according to the Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine.

LIMITATIONS OF DREAM ANALYSIS Although research indicates that there are benefits to dream analysis, some limitations do exist. Some believe that dreams are purely biological phenomena and therefore contain no symbolic meaning. The activation-synthesis hypothesis, coined by psychiatrists Allan Hobson and Robert McCarley, states that dream content is created by commands sent from the brain that never get carried out. In other words, dreaming is simply another form of thinking that happens while we sleep. This point of view calls into question how much “unconscious material” is truly contained in dreams.

When used in conjunction with psychoanalysis, dream analysis is subject to the same limitations as Freudian theory. One major critique of psychoanalysis is that the theory is based on case studies, the results of which are hard to generalize to a larger population. Another criticism is that the theory does not meet scientific standards. For example, the idea that dreams are based on wish fulfillment has not been backed by research. Another complaint about psychoanalytic theory is its negative and deterministic view of humanity, asserting that humans are inevitably driven by unconscious forces. This belief does not account for free will, a central concept in humanistic theories.

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thebreakfastgenie · 2 years

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@yeehawkpierce ask and ye shall receive!

Sidney absolutely sees himself in Hawkeye. They're actually very similar in a lot of ways, specifically their approach to medicine. They both take cases very personally, they both get deeply involved with their patients, and they both take it very badly when it doesn't end well. I do think Sidney is more controlled than Hawkeye is by the end, but he's not as well-controlled as you might think. In Dear Sigmund he lost a patient and spent two weeks at the 4077th trying to get over it.

I think Sidney is aware of the dangerous line he walks with his approach to his patients, but chooses to do it anyway because he thinks it makes him a better doctor. He tells Hawkeye in GFA that having pain and being afraid might make him a better doctor because he can relate to his patients better and I think he's speaking from experience. It didn't make it into the episode, but in the script for Dear Sigmund Sidney says he last wrote a letter to Sigmund Freud when he had some unspecified trouble in medical school. That made me think about some of the behavior we see from him and led me to believe Sidney is himself prone to depression.

Hawkeye and Sidney are both poker players and they play cards a lot in different contexts throughout their relationship. I don't know enough about cards to go anywhere with this symbolism but it feels significant.

As for how Sidney deals with Hawkeye... I'll admit to being a little biased, but I think Sidney is generally doing the best he can, or doing what he thinks is best. These are not always the same thing. For the most part, he's following the best psychiatric knowledge he has available, like sending him back to the 4077th in GFA. He's also practicing meatball psychiatry, which he admits in Goodbye Cruel World when discussing another patient. But there is something else going on.

I am convinced that Sidney is looking out for Hawkeye's future medical career. This relates back to seeing himself in Hawkeye and everything they have in common. I think he's worried that if things go too far in a certain direction, Hawkeye's future in civilian life is going to be affected. It's not an unreasonable concern, and I think at most points pre-GFA it's what Hawkeye would say he wants. Being a doctor is extremely important to him and Sidney knows that. But it may be that safeguarding his future career is not the best thing for his health, and Sidney has a blindspot in his medical opinion. And of course Hawkeye ends up pretty much losing his career anyway (although it's still open to him if he feels like going back) but neither of them knew that was going to happen.

It's also worth noting that Sidney is limited by how much Hawkeye is willing to open up. Hawkeye is comfortable leaning on Sidney, but only to a point. Sidney comes in to deal with a crisis, but once they get passed that, Hawkeye moves on. Even in GFA, Hawkeye is worried he isn't fully recovered from his breakdown, but he's not bringing any previous mental health concerns into it. There's a lot Sidney just doesn't know about, because as far as we know Hawkeye never told him.

Sidney and Hawkeye also don't really have a formal doctor-patient relationship until Bless You, Hawkeye at the earliest. In Hawk's Nightmare, Sidney doesn't really approach Hawkeye as his doctor. He's a friend who's providing reassurance and that reassurance is backed up by professional expertise. There are probably times that, like Hawkeye's other friends, Sidney could take more action than he does. But I think he's also hesitant to lose Hawkeye's trust because that trust allows him to help to some extent. It's messy and a lot of judgment calls and not always the right ones. Don't treat your friends! But you know, they didn't have any good options.

#mashposting #hawk's nightmare is..... interesting #it doesn't get resolved it's just like this will keep happening #but I think with the reassurance he gets from sidney the idea is he'll stop being afraid to go to sleep #and the nightmares probably come and go #and the awareness probably helps

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elwenyere · 3 years

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Helps to Relieve My Mind

Hello fam! I wrote my first little Sambucky ficlet today in an effort to tide myself over until Friday’s new episode of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. If such a thing would help tide you over as well, please feel free to give it a read. I very much hope you enjoy! <3

Tags: Sam/Bucky, 1.8k words, Canon-Typical Violence, Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together

CW: descriptions of falling and panic attacks

Read it on AO3

“Is it too late to go back to therapy?” Bucky called over the comms.

It had been less than forty-eight hours since he and Sam had decided to ditch Walker and go after the Flag-Smashers on their own, and they were already getting their asses handed to them again. They’d gotten side-tracked on their way to see Zemo by a tip from Torres: a group of hijackers matching the description of the missing super-soldiers had been spotted loading up a cargo plane with medical supplies in Kiev. Bucky and Sam had showed up just as the Flag-Smashers were readying for takeoff, and when Sam had flown straight through a rain of gunfire and into the open cargo bay door, Bucky had had no choice but to follow, cursing under his breath as he ran to catch the taxiing plane.

He’d managed to haul himself inside just as the wheels left the ground, only to have his back slammed into the metal wall of the cargo hold a minute later, a serum-enhanced fist clutched tightly around his throat.

“You could always change your mind about following me,” Sam offered, a rhythmic series of thumps and clangs from the other end of the bay revealing that he was dealing with problems of his own. “I bet you could even get another ‘Get Out of Jail Free’ card if you agreed to up with -”

“Don’t say it,” Bucky growled, grabbing the wrist of the soldier holding him against the wall and twisting it viciously.

“- John ‘Wingman’ Walker and his partner, Battlestar,” Sam finished, the grin somehow audible in his voice.

“You’re just lucky all my other options suck even worse than this,” Bucky muttered, taking a deep breath and bum-rushing the man in front of him.

“Yeah, ‘lucky’ is definitely how I’ve felt every day since you ripped the steering wheel out of my damn car in the middle of the highway,” Sam retorted. Bucky could hear the sounds of bullets ricocheting off metal, and he glanced over to watch Sam reemerge from behind a stack of crates.

“Even the Winter Soldier has some fond memories,” Bucky reflected, ducking a roundhouse kick from the redhead who’d booted him out of the truck in Germany and then sweeping his arm back to catch her solidly across the jaw.

He’d just turned to reassess their situation when he saw one of the soldiers poised by a lever on the side of the wall.

“Shit!” he yelled. “Sam!”

And then an explosion of air knocked him off his feet, and he felt himself yanked backward, scrabbling for purchase on the floor of the aircraft as he slid toward the open door. Unfortunately, it was his fleshy hand that finally found it. Just as he was about to run out of room, he wrapped his fingers around the lip of the lowered door and then let out an involuntary grunt of pain when his full weight caught against the hold, his legs whipping behind him in the open air.

“Shit,” he swore again, trying to strengthen his grip so that he could risk making a grab for the door with his metal hand.

“Bucky!” Sam yelled, and for some reason the change in his tone sent Bucky’s heart rate rabbiting even faster than the scramble across the floor. “Hang on! I’m on my way!”

A metal crate went flying over Bucky’s head, and he winced automatically, sending a jolt of pressure through the fingers clinging to the plane. And because he was always aware of Sam’s position in the fight, he knew there was no way he was going to make it in time.

“Sam, you should know -”

His words were cut off when the plane banked abruptly to the left. Bucky’s legs jerked sideways, his hand spasmed, and then he was falling through the air.

It was different than the last time. He could still hear what sounded like screaming - either a voice calling his name or the air hurtling past him, rushing away from him and refusing to bear his weight. He could still feel the terror claw up his throat and curl into the back of his mind, covering his thoughts with a white, electric blanket. But this time he knew what it would feel like when he hit the ground. He could already feel the rocks cracking through bones and tearing at the sinews of his arms, and all he could do was grit his teeth and hope to wake up somewhere better than he had before.

He twisted in the air so he could see the end coming, every muscle in his body wrenching tight in anticipation. But then he felt a hand curl around the back of his head, and a weight slammed into him from the wrong direction, shifting his momentum abruptly to the side. Before he knew it, there was soft grass under his knees, pressing up against him and holding him still.

“I got you,” Sam said, his arms still wrapped tightly around Bucky’s back. “I got you.”

Bucky felt like he was sucking air through a straw, his head dizzy with a flood of adrenaline as he clung to the fabric of Sam’s uniform and curled up against his chest. He squeezed his eyes shut to stop the vertigo, but in the darkness all he could picture was an avalanche of snow and ice and unforgiving rock, and a second later he opened his eyes again with a gasp. His muscles were still screaming with the effort of bracing for collision, and he struggled to even out his breathing, willing himself to concentrate on the weight of Sam's arms around him, grounding him.

As the haze gradually began to clear, Bucky became aware that Sam was still repeating the same words, his cheek pressed against the top of Bucky’s head. But the tone of Sam’s voice seemed to have shifted, so that what had started as a reassurance now sounded like a kind of desperate chant.

“I got you,” he repeated, his own breathing coming sharp and fast. “I got you.”

Suddenly Bucky remembered the photo in Sam’s wallet when he paid for drinks in Germany, the story Steve had told him as they sat on a hill in Wakanda.

Fuck.

“Sam,” Bucky whispered.

Sam’s arms tightened almost convulsively, and Bucky reached out to rest his hands gently on Sam’s lower back.

“Hey, Sam. I’m okay,” Bucky continued, listening to Sam’s breathing slow down. “I’m here. I’m okay. You caught me.”

Sam straightened up slightly, one of his hands moving to cradle Bucky’s head as he'd done during the fall, and Bucky pressed his forehead against Sam’s.

“You caught me,” he repeated, and this time it sounded like a brand new idea. Sam had caught him. Bucky had lost his grip, and Sam had been there to cushion the fall.

“I’ve been trying to catch you, you idiot,” Sam replied, shaking his head with a faint echo of exasperation. “Do you have any idea how scary it is to think you might not let me?”

He gave the back of Bucky’s neck a gentle squeeze, one thumb sweeping up into Bucky’s hair, and for the first time in decades, Bucky’s body responded to an instinct that hadn’t been carved into his brain with a knife: he leaned in and pressed a kiss to the corner of Sam’s lips, sighing at the warmth of Sam’s skin against his.

A moment later he froze, pulling away with exaggerated slowness and wiping all traces of expression carefully from his face. Sam was staring back at him, wide-eyed, and for a second Bucky felt like he was in free fall again, his stomach heaving as he plummeted through space.

“That was - uh,” he tried to explain. “Sam -”

But before he got another word out, Sam had hauled him in by the back of his neck and was kissing him thoroughly, his mouth soft but hungry against Bucky’s, and something hot leapt through Bucky’s chest that seared deeper than any of the afterimages or second-hand shocks that had passed for getting his life back.

When they finally broke apart, it was because Sam had started laughing.

“Seriously, man?” Bucky protested, a small smile tugging at the corner of his own lips. “I know I’m out of practice, but if you make a crack about being cryogenically frozen, I swear to God.”

“I was going to say that if the kind of healing you’ve been looking for is less Sigmund Freud and more Marvin Gaye, you could have just called me back,” Sam retorted, giving Bucky a grin and a playful shove on the shoulder. “It would have been the world’s easiest alley oop. Lord knows I was giving you more assists than John Stockton gave the Mailman - and that is a crack about being in deep freeze, by the way. You could be understanding that reference right now if you hadn’t been ghosting me instead.”

Bucky scanned Sam’s face, drinking in the warmth and openness that he had always found infuriatingly, impossibly brave.

“You’re the only number in my phone other than my shrink,” Bucky explained finally.

Sam tilted his head, his eyebrows raised significantly.

“That’s kind of my point, Bucky.”

“No, I’m trying to tell you that’s why I couldn’t call,” Bucky continued. “I have a list of people I’ve hurt in the past that’s so long I can’t even see the end of it. But when I turn to the list of people who are here for me now?” He held up a single finger and then jabbed it toward Sam’s chest. “You’re it. Just one. So if I take a chance, and I fuck that up -” He shook his head ruefully. “Well, let’s just say it felt safer to imagine you might still be out there than to know for sure that you weren’t.”

Sam’s face softened, and he opened his mouth to reply, but Bucky waved him off.

“And that was total bullshit: I know,” he said quickly. “More importantly, it was selfish. What you said yesterday about me not understanding what you were going through - you were right. I never once asked how you were doing. I guess I was in such bad shape to help anyone that it was easier for me to believe you didn’t need any help.”

Sam regarded him thoughtfully.

“Therapy, huh?”

“God, it’s the worst.”

He gave Sam a smile, this one feeling a little less like a mask someone else had drawn. Sam smiled back, reaching up to trace the edge of Bucky’s lips lightly with his thumb.

“One of those things you might not understand about me is that I’m not very good at needing people either,” he said, dropping his hand to rest on Bucky’s metal shoulder. “But I think I’m going to need you on this, Bucky.”

“Yeah, well, that’s probably true,” Bucky agreed. “Seeing as you just let the Flag-Smashers get away again.”

“Maybe next time you could try to stay inside the vehicle,” Sam suggested. His tone was light, but the squeeze he gave Bucky’s shoulder telegraphed some of the fear still clinging to the lines of his face.

“You’ll catch me,” Bucky shrugged, trying for casual assurance and landing closer than he would have thought possible.

“Always,” Sam promised.

#sambucky #winterfalcon #tfatws #tfatws spoilers #my chaotic duo #i need all the hurt/comfort for this ship please and thank you

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ditsydaydream · 3 years

Text

Naptune’s Guide to a Good Maze Runner OC: Names

There’s so much to cover when making a good OC, so I’m going to do this in multiple posts to make it more manageable.

Names are one of, if not my biggest pet peeve when it comes to TMR OCs. Do not name your character, ‘Star’ or ‘Nya’ or ‘Aurora’. These names are unique and beautiful, but they don’t fit with the theme of the character names.

Every character in TMR, that was taken by WCKD, has been named after someone through history – usually scientists.

Thomas was named after Thomas Edison.

Newt was named after Isaac Newton.

Gally was named after Galileo Galilei.

There are variations and exceptions to this:

Frypan is just a nickname because he works in the kitchens, his real name is Siggy, after Sigmund Freud

Chuck is a variation of Charles, after Charles Darwin

To my knowledge, Minho and Zart are the only exceptions to this rule.

Gladers from the other Maze aren’t excluded from this. Aris is named after Aristotle, Sonya renamed herself but was named Lizzie, after Queen Elizabeth I.

If you are naming a character, name them after someone through history. It makes it much more compelling for readers, its interesting to research and it helps them fit better into the story.

For example, my OCs are Florrie, Maria and Ada

Florrie is a nickname for Florence, after Florence Nightingale. This also ties into her story, as Florrie is a Med-Jack, and therefore in the same field as Nightingale was.

Maria is a variation of Marie, after Marie Curie. This name was chosen by my friend from a list of girls names I compiled that were all figures through history.

Ada is named after Ada Lovelace, a lesser-known female scientist but important nonetheless. Again, this name was chosen by another friend out of preference from the list.

If you want to have a character rename themselves like Sonya did, go for it. However, chose a normal name, or a name that has a meaning behind it – it adds another layer of depth to your character. Also, mention their name given by WCKD, it helps to reaffirm how they were almost possessions to the organisation.

For any characters that weren’t in the Maze or property of WCKD, like Brenda, there’s not a lot that comes into picking name, except for the fact they have normal names – you don’t hear character with unique names in the series.

Here’s my list of character names I could choose from and they figures they’re from, feel free to take any. This is girls name, as I was creating female OCs. Most of these aren’t scientists, but as Teresa was named after Mother Teresa, a humanitarian, we have more options to play with.

Jane Austen – Jane/Jayni

Amelia Earhart – Amelia/Amelie/Emelia

Joan of Arc – Joan/Jo

Catherine of Aragon – Cathy/Catherine/Kat

Rosa Parks – Rosa/Rose

Margaret Thatcher – Maggie/May

Rosalind Franklin – Rosalind/Rosa/Roz

Emmeline Pankhurst – Emily/Emmy/Em

I haven’t made a list for boys names, but let me know if you guys want one and I’ll make it.

I’ll be posting other attributes that go into a good TMR OC soon, expect a post on Clothes, Relationships and Character Details.

Thanks for reading!

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thejollyroger-writer · 4 years

Text

One for the Books (1/1)

SUMMARY: Killian Jones is a grad student who works for the Storybrooke University Library. He's searching for some lost books, last checked out by the elusive Teaching Assistant Emma Swan -- and when he goes to find them, he finds a lot more than he bargained for.

Rated G // 5.6k // on AO3

Thanks to @shireness-says for always cheering me on

Some interested folks: @kmomof4 @let-it-raines @thisonesatellite @scientificapricot @ohmightydevviepuu @pepperspotts @resident-of-storybrooke @teamhook @ultraluckycatnd

-- -- --

to: [email protected]

from: [email protected]

August 20 10:14am

Dear Miss Swan,

I hope this email finds you well. My name is Killian Jones, and I am the new records and collections graduate assistant for the Storybrooke University Library. I am writing to you today because, according to our records, there are quite a few volumes from our library that you have borrowed and never returned. You will, of course, not be fined for these items; I am simply reaching out to make sure that they are still in your possession, and to ask that you kindly bring them to the library to return or renew as necessary. The list of items is as follows:

Freud, Sigmund. The Standard Edition of Complete Psychological Works of Sigmund Freud, 1953, Volume I.

Freud, Sigmund. The Standard Edition of Complete Psychological Works of Sigmund Freud, 1953, Volume IV.

Freud, Sigmund. The Standard Edition of Complete Psychological Works of Sigmund Freud, 1953, Volume VII.

Freud, Sigmund. The Standard Edition of Complete Psychological Works of Sigmund Freud, 1953, Volume X.

Freud, Sigmund. The Standard Edition of Complete Psychological Works of Sigmund Freud, 1953, Volume XXI.

Freud, Sigmund. The Standard Edition of Complete Psychological Works of Sigmund Freud, 1953, Volume XXIII.

Leuven University Press, Sexuality and Psychoanalysis: Philosophical Criticisms, 2010.

Moore, Burness E. Psychoanalysis: The Major Concepts, 1995.

If you have any questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to reach out to me in any of the ways listed below.

Thank you,

Killian Jones,

Records and Collections, Storybrooke University

Gold Library, rm. 120A // 545-1212

to: [email protected]

from: [email protected]

September 23 2:46 pm

Dear Miss Swan,

I hope the first few weeks of the semester have gone well for you. I am following up with my previous email, where I sent a list of volumes from our university library that have been checked out under your name. We now have a graduate student writing on psychoanalysis and he is hoping to utilize a few of the volumes you have checked out over the next few weeks. If you would be able to return these items to the library at your earliest convenience, we would greatly appreciate it; even if they have been misplaced, we would still like for you to come and fill out the paperwork so this student can request them from another library. I am in my office every day from 8-3 for you to do this, or I could send you the form for you to print and return. Again, if you have any questions, please reach out.

Thank you,

Killian Jones

Records and Collections, Storybrooke University

Gold Library, rm. 120A // 545-1212

to: [email protected]

from: [email protected]

September 29 8:36 am

Miss Swan,

I am writing once again to inquire about the Freud volumes checked out of the library under your name. Since there is a graduate student waiting for them, and since we are unable to request copies from another library until they are officially marked as missing, I would appreciate your response in regards to these items. If it would be easiest for you, I will gladly come to your office to retrieve them.

Killian Jones

Records and Collections, Storybrooke University

Gold Library, rm. 120A // 545-1212

Killian slams his laptop shut with a huff, then runs his fingers through his hair. “This damned psychology professor,” he mumbles, though he realizes when he hears Dr. French’s laugh coming from her office that the door between them is wide open.

Oops.

“She’s not a professor, you know."

"Pardon?" he asks, mostly because the humming of his mind was much louder than his advisor's comment.

"Emma Swan," Belle says, and Killian leans back in his chair so he can see her. "She's not a professor. She's a TA for Dr. Hopper."

"A TA should still know to respond to emails and return books to the library."

Belle laughs again. "Well, you're not wrong."

"So what do you suggest our next move is?"

Belle pushes her chair away from her desk and steps out into the open area where Killian's desk resides, then leans against the doorframe. "If we didn't have a grad student looking for them, I’d say just let it go. But for the sake of Mr. Mills, might I suggest visiting her office during her posted office hours?”

This is just about the very last thing Killian wants to do, despite offering to pick the books up in his last email. If she wasn't watching him, if she was still sitting in her office, he would have held his head in his hands, wishing for any other option. Six years in the naval reserve he can handle, but trying to get books from enthusiastic academics? He does a much better job with his head buried behind the computer screen, politely (or, if the case requires, slightly passive-aggressively) asking them to return books or to come talk to Belle.

But he knows he can't get out of this one, not when there's a bright lad like Henry Mills relying on him. “When? It’s been a month since the first email, and almost a week since the second.”

Belle squints her eyes to look at the calendar hanging behind him. “Today is what, Tuesday? If she doesn’t get back to you by Monday, I would go to her first office hours of the week. Those usually have fewer students.”

He just nods, but when she returns to her office, he does hide his face in his hands.

The days pass like calendar pages flying off, cartoonishly, all with no response from the elusive Emma Swan. Every time he hears the ping of his email notification, he hopes it is a response from her, stopping him from the embarrassment he knows will ensue on Monday morning, at her 10:00 office hour.

But alas, Monday comes with no response from her, and he tries to hold his head high and he knocks on the door to her office.

He doesn’t know what he expects to find on the other side of her door, but the bright green eyes and high golden ponytail is certainly not it. He had a whole speech in his head, practiced while driving and in the shower, demanding the Freud volumes back for the sake of Mr. Mills — but the face that greets him erases all of his carefully-practiced words in one fell swoop.

Absolutely speechless.

A few moments pass without him uttering a word, after which she raises a single, perfect eyebrow at him. “Can I help you?”

He clears his throat, trying to put some of the confidence back in his posture — and trying to slow the quickening pace of his heart, even as he feels it in his throat. “Yes. Uh, hi. You don't know me, but I’m Killian Jones, from the—”

She cuts him off with a breath of a laugh and a hand held up between them. “You’re from the library.” It's not a question, but he nods anyway. “You’re here for Freud.”

His confidence deflates. “Uh, yeah,” he mutters.

She cocks her head to the side. "You're older than I expected."

Now he is dumbstruck once again. Absolutely speechless, save the weak "Pardon?" that comes out as barely more than an exhale.

But she ignores him, turning away from him, though she leaves the door to her office wide open behind her, so he steps through it and into her small space. The entire room is lined with bookshelves save the space that her small desk takes up and the two filing cabinets beside it.

He realizes in this moment, watching her scan her shelves for the missing items, why he is suddenly so tongue-tied, why his practiced speech flew out the metaphoric window the moment she opened her office door: she's beautiful, without a doubt the most gorgeous woman he's ever seen, from her shining emerald eyes to the confidence that seems to exude from her very being, attractive in ways beyond the physical, ways that he can not even begin to explain.

"I really appreciate your coming all the way across campus to find these," she says, starting to pull books off one of the higher shelves. "I've been out the past two weeks at a couple conferences, and I forwarded the list of items to a friend of mine in hopes that he could come and pick them up, but it appears he's as bad at doing favors as he is in bed."

Killian feels the tips of his ears turning red even as she immediately spins on her heel, covering her face with her free hand.

"Oh my god," she mutters. "I'm — I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to say that out loud."

Killian does the only thing his body allows him to and laughs, though every neuron in his brain screams at him to stop.

Thankfully, she joins in, and for a moment, he can swear that her smile actually brightens her dark office, that her laugh brightens his dark life.

"Neal Cassidy, ladies and gentlemen," she says between laughs, which only causes them to laugh harder. "Altogether grossly incompetent."

Killian is glad he's never heard of this man before; he's not sure how he would have handled it if he had.

"Anyway," she says after taking a few deep breaths to try to calm herself. She turns back to the bookshelf to add a few more items to the pile in her arm, but one of them almost falls to the ground. It happens in a flash, really: Killian rushes to try to catch it, though the pile in her arms also begins to topple, and his ankle catches hers as she tries to stop the books from falling — and just like that, they're both on the floor, surrounded by volumes of Freud's Complete Works, Standard Edition.

"Sorry," he mumbles, reaching towards the book that is closest to him only to find that it's one titled Sexuality and Psychoanalysis.

The irony of it doesn't stop his embarrassment from reddening his cheeks once more.

"What the hell is happening in here?" another voice asks, and they both realize there's someone standing in the doorway to her office. "Ems, who is this guy?"

"Oh my god," Emma mutters, moving onto her knees, and he uses the bookshelf to quickly pull himself up so he can help her to her feet. "What do you want, Neal?" she asks, avoiding his question entirely.

Neal? Killian wonders if it's the same Neal she mentioned before, but he pushes the thought away when he finds himself wondering just how good in bed this man can be by the looks of him.

(A bit Freudian? He would say so.)

"I just wanted to bring you some coffee," he says, a hint of anger in his voice as he holds up one of the to-go cups he is holding. "Only to find you on the floor of your office with some guy."

Killian is suddenly overcome with an unexplainable anger, something he knows he has been trained to repress — but here, he feels incapable.

Thankfully, Emma speaks first, crossing her arms over her chest, and he takes the time she uses to speak to calm himself, seeing that she is fully capable of handling her own battles. "I've told you so many times, Neal, I don't even drink coffee. And not that I have to explain myself to you, but it was an accident. I dropped some books and…” She falters, realizing she never learned his name, but continues past it: “... he was just helping me pick them up, which wouldn't have been necessary had you come to my office last week and taken them to the library like I asked."

(That answers that question, he thinks; then, My God, I have to get out of here.)

"I really should go," Killian mutters, his anger replaced with embarrassment, and he focuses his energy on picking up the books from the floor, trying to wish the obvious signs of embarrassment off of his face.

"Yeah, you should," Neal spits.

Killian would swear, looking back on this moment, that he could feel Emma's anger in this moment, swelling like a balloon and filling her small office, almost radiating off of her.

"No, Neal," she says, crossing the space between herself and the door before pushing her hands against his chest and expelling him into the hallway. "You should leave."

And then she slams the door in his face.

A beat passes, Killian focused on the rise and fall of Emma's shoulders, though she is still facing the door. When she turns around, there is a smile plastered across her face, but he also notices the shine of held-back tears in her eyes.

"Sorry," she mumbles, and Killian struggles to find a way to change the subject to anything except what he just witnessed, but finds himself unable to speak once more. "It's just — he's…" She takes a breath, sitting down on the extra chair opposite the one behind her desk, and she hangs her head. "This whole thing was a mistake, really." For a moment, Killian thinks she's talking about him, his stomach turning violently with the thought that something he did caused this goddess this much pain — but then she continues. "I never should have… when I met him at the bar, I didn't even think that he could work at the university, even if he works for maintenance. I'm usually much smarter than that, I swear, but it was the beginning of summer and most of the students were gone and I finally had some free time to myself, so I just wanted to—"

She turns her eyes up at him, the moisture that's filled them threatening to run down her cheeks, but he's in the seat across from her in an instant, his own hand reaching out to cover hers. He's terrified, afraid that he's made the wrong move — that he's no different than the asshole she just had to kick out of her office.

But then she smiles.

"You don't have to tell me this if you don't want to," he says, the words as soft and honest as he is able to make them.

He only hopes it's enough.

She nods, pulling her hand away from his to wipe the bottom of her eyelids, and the last thing he expects is for her to return her hand to his — but that's exactly what she does, and he can swear his heart does a little happy dance against his ribs. "Oh my god, this is so embarrassing," she says softy, smiling down at where their hands are touching on the desk. Killian shakes his head in disagreement, but she doesn't see it, shaking away another soft, embarrassed smile. "And Freud thought the women he saw were crazy."

For what feels like the millionth time since he knocked on the door to her office mere minutes ago, he has absolutely no clue how to read her.

"Are you sure you don't want me to go?" he asks, though he immediately regrets it, watching her face fall.

"If that's what you want…" she says, letting her words fade before finishing the thought.

No, he realizes, and the thought rejuvenates him; he sits up straighter, he can feel his blood flow faster, can feel his heart pound with a little more confidence.

(Christ, Jones, heartbeats don't have confidence.)

"That's not what I want."

"Good," she whispers, the smile returning to her face. “Because he might — knowing him, he’ll probably come back, and I don’t really want to deal with that quite yet.”

“Well, I’ll just stay here until you feel comfortable again.”

“Thanks.”

A beat passes, and Killian realizes for the first time just how awkward this whole situation is. Thankfully, Emma seems to be much better at small talk than he is:

“So, tell me something about yourself…” She trails off again, and this time, Killian offers her his name.

“Killian. Jones.” She nods, a soft smile spreading across her face, and he continues. “But I’m, uh, just starting the lib sci grad program, and I came here since my brother knows Belle pretty well.”

“If you don’t mind my asking,” she mumbles, looking up from the desk that sits between them. “You look a little old for a first-year grad student.”

“That’s not technically a question, love,” he jokes. “But yeah, you’re right. I’m not technically what they call a traditional student. I got my bachelor’s all over the world in the naval reserves, but decided to settle down for my masters.”

She huffs out a laugh. “In Storybrooke?”

“There’s a base not too far from here where my brother works. I was done with traveling, done with the hustle and bustle of cities, and this just seemed like the perfect place for me to be.” She hums. “What about you, Swan?”

She shrugs, and for a moment, Killian thinks this is going to be her only response. The silence of the room becomes deafening for one — two — three beats of his heart, but then she opens her mouth to speak. “I never had any roots, and I just wound up in Storybrooke. College was the first time I was able to make decisions for myself, and I just… Stuck around, I guess. I changed my major three times, got two master’s degrees, and I think Archie — I mean, Dr. Hopper’s going to keep me here once I get my PhD.” She sighs. “Sorry, that was a lot.”

“Well, I mean, we are stuck here.”

She laughs, but another silence fills the small office. This one lasts longer than the last, Emma even going so far as to chew on the cuticle of her thumb, her gaze traveling around the room instead of looking at him.

Killian, for some reason, can only think of the man that they’re in this situation because of — Neal. He knows that different people are attracted to different things, and he… Well, with no better way to think of it, he could think of nothing about the man they saw that was even slightly attractive. Sandy brown hair, average build, average… Average everything, really.

“Can I ask you something?” he says, not even meaning to break the silence around them.

She hums, though her attention still seems to be outside the small window behind him.

“Why him?”

“What?” She sounds angry, but also something else. Killian kind of believes it’s humored. He hopes it’s humored.

“That guy. Neal? He’s — well, not to be crass, love, but he seems like he’s kind of a bastard.”

She laughs. Not just a huff, not just a breath, but a real, straight-from-the-belly laugh. And it lasts for a while, longer than Killian feels like it should have, though he’s certainly not complaining. It’s a beautiful sound, a lovely sound, a sound that (almost literally) brings light to his life. Nothing bad can happen when that sound is around him.

(Christ, Killian, pull yourself together.)

“Damned if I know.”

“Well, what do you look for in a guy?” he asks, not even meaning for it to sound as… well, as desperate as he realizes it does.

“Why?” she laughs. “Are you interested?”

Shit. He already feels the tips of his ears reddening, his cheeks growing warm with embarrassment that he has no defense against. "Uh, I mean—" he tries, and he could swear that his chest is radiating heat. "That's not — I didn't—" he stammers, and she laughs again. Sure, he's an absolute idiot, no way to hide his embarrassment from the beautiful woman sitting across the desk from him, but just hearing the sound of her laugh again makes him feel better, even if it is at his own expense.

"Relax," she says, reaching out to touch his hand again, and she offers him a soft smile. "Besides, there really isn't any rhyme or reason to it anyway." He has just started to relax, his heart pounding a little lighter and his body temperature returning to a normal number, when she asks, "Why, what about you, Jones? What do you look for in a woman?"

Beautiful, brilliant blonde goddesses like yourself, he thinks.

For what he could swear is the longest moment of his life, he's unsure of whether he only thought it or not.

And then, she's leaning across the desk, her hand wrapping around the back of his neck to pull his lips to meet hers.

It's far from his first kiss; he's been in the company of enough women to know his way around one. But for some reason, this moment, this woman in particular, catches him off-guard, and he is only able to focus on the soft warmth of her, the feel of her lips against his and her hand on the back of his neck, her fingers sliding up into the longer hair at the base of his neck. He's frozen, unable to respond in any way beyond simply opening his lips slightly to her —

Until he pulls away, cursing himself even as he does it, especially once he sees the terror in her shining green eyes, so obviously wondering if she has done something wrong.

"I, uh… thanks," he stutters, running his fingers through his hair as he jumps up from her desk chair. "I, uh, I really have to go."

As quickly as he is able, he removes himself from her office, though he shows enough self-restraint to not take off down the hallway at a full sprint even though it is what every bone in his body wants him to do.

It’s not until he’s out of the building that he takes a moment to slow down and really realize what he has just done, ifsting his hair with both of his hands.

“Oh, Killian, you absolute idiot!”

He wants to scream, and if he weren’t surrounded by undergrads who he knows are already judging him, he just might.

An idiot. An absolute dunce. Why did it have to be this week that Liam is training in Rhode Island? Why now, when the thing Killian needs the most is advice from his older brother?

Okay, not most; the thing he needs most is to go back a mere minute and not run away from the girl who kissed him.

But he can’t do that. And even just walking back up to her office would be too embarrassing, too much for him. So he does the only thing he can do, and continues down the sidewalk and back to the library.

(It’s not until he’s back in his office, with Belle eyeing him questionably, that he realizes he came back empty-handed.)

She spends most of the afternoon wondering what to do. She knows she acted out of turn, knows she made a mistake, but there was just something about him, not an innocence, per se, but something… different. Something that sets him apart from most, if not all, of the men she finds herself in the company of.

For one, he didn’t seem like a total idiot, unlike the majority of men whose beds she tended to find herself in. Even in the little time she spent with him, she could tell that he was different, and she liked it. She liked that he saw her as a person, with a brain and a personality, and not just as body parts, not just as a vessel that could provide pleasure. Even the men she meets at conferences have all been assholes, men like Walsh ___ who feignd interest in her presentation just to come waltzing up to her afterward and ask her to dinner — which he just talked through, barely giving her a chance to speak.

But Killian, from what she could tell, is nothing like Walsh. Or like Neal, who keeps ignoring her refusals and turning up at her office. (She’s glad she went back to his apartment and not the other way around, because she fears what he may have done had he known where she lived.)

Killian, who came all the way across campus to retrieve books from her office, agreed to stay to keep her company, and then she kissed. Like an idiot. She saw the way he got flustered when she started to flirt with him and it got to her. Was it an overreaction? Maybe. But there were definitely alternatives to taking that sort of action against someone whose shyness was apparent all morning.

She gets nothing done for the rest of the day. The piles of ungraded papers that cover her desk taunt her, but every time she picks up her pen and starts to read, her mind begins to wander immediately — to Killian, to his response to her. Wondering if she made a mistake that she can never fix. Wondering if he is sitting in his office, unable to work, only able to think about her. (Maybe even hoping for this one?)

The screensaver on her desktop tells her it’s 2:23. Literal hours have passed since Killian left, and she has accomplished nothing.

Tapping her password out on the keyboard, she pulls up her university email and types his name in the search box, hoping that one of his previous emails answers her question. She vaguely remembers seeing the hours he’s in his office in one of them, she just needs to figure out which one.

Bingo.

“8-3,” she says to her empty office. She should stay, should at least try to accomplish something after being gone for almost two weeks, but she knows it is useless. So she grabs her red leather jacket off the back of her chair, locks her office door behind her, and makes her way out of the building.

(When she gets to the steps, she realizes she has left the library books behind, just as Killian had when he left earlier that day. With a huff, she turns around, stuffs them in one of her tote bags, and leaves her office once more.)

Pushing through the library doors, she realizes that she’s been at this university for upwards of ten years, and never learned where the Records and Collections Office is. She knows Killian included his office number in his signature, but finding that would take more time than she wants to spend, so she approaches the desk.

“Can I help you?” The student who sits behind the desk catches her attention for a moment, a tall male, probably in his mid-20’s, with blond hair with a pink tinge to it, wearing a dark purple satin shirt and matching purple eyeliner in perfect, identical wings. His name tag reads Tyler.

“Uh, yeah,” she says, hoisting the canvas bag higher on her shoulder. “I’m looking for the Records and Collections Office?”

He offers her a smile. “Sure! Room 120. Up the stairs, to the left, all the way down.”

She returns his smile, doing her best not to just run off to find what she came here for. “Thanks.”

The room that houses the main collection seems much larger than the open area that fills the same space the floor below it, and with every shelf she passes, she feels like three more come into view. But, finally, a row of doors come into view, with the words “RECORDS AND COLLECTIONS” hanging on the wall above them.

119. 121.

Didn’t Tyler say 120?

She tries 121, knocking softly though the door is wide open. She is greeted by a younger girl, most likely an undergrad, with one side of her head shaved and the rest of it pulled into a braid that hangs over her shoulder. “What can I do for you?”

“Uh, I’m looking for Killian Jones? I thought they said it wa room 120, but—”

“Yeah, they can’t seem to number rooms in a way that makes sense around here. You have to go through room 119 to find Killian and Dr. French. I don't think Zoe's in her office, so room 119 should be empty."

"Thanks."

Room 119 is, in fact, empty, but the door inside, the one with Killian's name on it, is closed.

She takes a deep breath, hoisting the bag of books up again, and knocks on the door. She wonders if this is how Killian felt knocking on her door that morning, with her heart pounding in her throat. Probably not, she tells herself, breathing out a laugh to try to calm her nerves.

"Come in!" his voice calls, and she can feel her heartbeat in every cell of her body.

What the hell, Emma.

But when she grabs the door knob, she realizes that at least part of her nervousness is valid, because for all the time she spent sitting in her office thinking about their earlier interaction, she has given zero thought to what she's going to say to the man on the other side of the door.

Too late now.

Deep breath.

And she opens the door.

He looks as flustered as she feels, with his hair standing in all directions, as if he's been tugging at it and running his fingers through it. The thin-framed glasses perched on his nose just add to the ensemble, his bright blue eyes already wide through them, and they only widen more when he sees her standing in the doorway.

"Hey."

He blinks. Then again, as if trying to convince himself that she's really there. That may be exactly what he's doing. "Swan," he breathes, one corner of his lips ticking up in a smile. "Hi."

She holds up the bag full of books, offering him a small smile. "I think you're looking for these."

He returns the smile, but it disappears after just a moment. "Well, I thank you, love, but you didn't have to bring them all this way."

"It was the least I could do after all the trouble someone went through to pick them up this morning."

"You could have dropped them off downstairs."

It's now that she realizes that just because she wanted to see him again, he doesn't necessarily feel the same way, and that could explain his cold responses to her.

She lets her smile fall. "I could have."

"Why didn't you?" The question is simple enough, straight and to the point.

"Christ, Killian," she huffs, letting her anger get the best of her. "I didn't come here to return the books."

"Then why did you come?"

"I wanted to apologize," she says, dropping the bag of books on his desk — and when she opens her mouth to speak again, the words tumble out like a waterfall, unable to be stopped. "I could tell I made you uncomfortable and I've been sitting in my office all day, wishing I did something differently, but since I can't go back, I decided the least I could do to make up for it was to bring you these books and ask you if you wanted to go to dinner with me, but obviously you and I aren't on the same page, so—" She shrugs, throwing her arms in the air, and turns away from his desk.

There's a shuffle from behind her, but it's not until he says, "Yes! Yes, okay," that she turns back around, realizing that he's stood up.

"What?"

"Dinner. With — with you," he stammers. "That's — I want that."

Again, she just says, "What?" but this time it's paired with the beginnings of a smile.

"I've been thinking about what happened all day. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it, even with everything I was supposed to be doing."

She takes another step towards him, her smile growing. Finally, he returns it with one of his own. "Yeah?"

"Aye."

Rocking back on her heels, she looks down at her watch. "It's only 3:00."

He laughs, already seeming much more relaxed than he has been since she opened the door to his office. "I suppose it is.”

Their gazes meet for a moment. She raises her eyebrow. He clicks his tongue.

“I, uh, didn’t really eat lunch,” she says with a smile.

“Ah,” he replies, returning her smile as he scratches the back of his ear. “You see, I was also a little distracted, but I am almost off the clock.”

“Good,” she whispers, setting herself in the seat next to his door. “I’ll just wait.”

He nods, sitting back down in his office chair. He is able to check her books in, then sends an email to Henry Mills to tell him he can come get the books whenever — but he is more distracted by having her in his office than he was all day when she was just on his mind. After every few words, his attention leaves the computer screen and travels to where she is sitting, scrolling on her cell phone.

And every time he looks at her, he smiles.

It’s only a few minutes before he logs off his computer, accidentally startling her when he pushes his chair away from the desk.

“Sorry,” he mutters, pulling his jacket on over his sweater. “I’m ready now, though.”

Their first pizza date quickly becomes a regular occurence, sharing lunches in their offices on days they don’t go off campus. It’s two weeks before Killian is bothered they haven’t been on a “proper date,” and he picks her up from her apartment with flowers, which she keeps in a vase in her office.

But, most importantly, she never forgets to return a library book again — especially the next year, when she and Killian move into a small house near the campus.

Together.

#cs fics #captain swan #my writing #wordsbymeganmichael

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emeraldwellness · 3 years

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What are Psychotherapy and Massage?

Psychotherapy and Counseling have been regarded as the fields that contributed most to the medical advancements today. In fact, according to a survey conducted, it was found out that most patients who consult a psychotherapy and counseling center in their area are suffering from chronic illnesses like cancer, heart disease, depression, stress ulcers and other mental health disorders.

Thus, psychotherapy and counseling have been widely acknowledged and practiced as an integral part of health care system. It helps in the recovery process of the individual and therefore, the treatment becomes a more effective process.

The field of psychotherapy is constantly evolving, improving and transforming. It also undergoes constant change due to the new discoveries and advancements in knowledge and research. Hence, in this article we will discuss the changes that has happened in the field of psychology over the years.

We shall see how psychotherapy and counseling have evolved through the years. In this regard, this article may be beneficial to those individuals who are interested to practice a form of therapy in their day to day life.

First of all, a brief history of psychotherapy and counseling may be interesting for everyone who is interested in learning more about this field. Psychotherapy emerged from the works of Sigmund Freud, a famous Polish psychologist and the father of psychoanalysis.

He had introduced the concept of compulsory psychotherapy for people who are suffering from mental illness. Since then, it has been widely used in treating patients suffering from psychological illness. From that time onwards, it gained wide acceptance in the field of mental health care and research.

Psychotherapy and counseling emerged as two major branches of mental health care. However, as time progressed, the field of psychotherapy and counseling has been expanded and incorporated in the fields of counselling, therapy and social services.

Today, these two branches make up a significant part of the overall health care system. It should be noted that psychotherapy and counseling do not refer only to mental health treatment; they are also used in the treatment of physical illness.

In the field of psychotherapy, there are numerous modalities, which have been developed since the time of Freud. These include such practices as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), interpersonal or group therapy, and relaxation techniques. A person who wants to practice psychotherapy must be aware of the modalities used by his or her psychologist or psychiatrist.

Psychotherapy and counseling are commonly used together, especially in the case of psychotherapy. When a patient visits a psychologist or a psychiatrist, it is usual for them to undergo psychotherapy as well. Psychotherapy sessions aim at providing effective methods for helping patients deal with their psychological and emotional problems. One of the most common forms of treatments is that of psychotherapy and massages. The use of psychotherapy and massages may vary from one professional to another.

Psychotherapy treatments can either be conducted by individuals, or by trained therapists. Counseling and psychotherapy usually follow the same procedures, and psychotherapy usually follows a structured series of questions and answers. When a person is under psychotherapy and massages, these activities may be performed by the therapist or the patient, or even by both.

Massage therapy and psychotherapy are closely associated, and sometimes, one is substituted for the other. If you want to get the best possible psychotherapy, the first thing you should do is get a psychotherapy session conducted by a qualified psychotherapist or psychologist.

In addition to psychotherapy and massages, the other options available include acupuncture, hypnosis, relaxation techniques, and herbal remedies. Whatever method you choose, it is important to speak to a professional first before undergoing any kind of treatment.

#theraphy

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mitchipedia · 4 years

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Who is Alan Tarica and why does he think I’m an idiot?

I fell down an Internet rabbit hole this morning. I received an email from someone signing himself as “Alan Tarica.” It read:

“How do you have nothing to say? Idiots like you need to be exposed for having no critical thinking or meta cognition and no integrity.”

I had no idea what this was about. I thought it might be related to one of my political posts, but experience tells me that it could be about _anything._I’ve been active on social media, blogs and other Internet discussion services for many years, and have received worse insults like that for expressing options about Doctor Who, Star Trek, Apple, and any number of things you’d be surprised that people get worked up about.

I scrolled down a bit and found Mr. Tarica was apparently following up an email he sent me in January 2017 — yes, more than three years ago! — that I never replied to. I don’t even remember receiving the initial email. The initial email contained several links to articles about Shakespeare.

That is the full extent of my correspondence with Tarica. Two emails, both sent by him, unsolicited, with no response from me. Or maybe just one email; I have no record of ever receiving the initial 2017 message from Mr. Tarica

I am not a Shakesepeare scholar and I don’t have anything more than a casual interest in Shakespeare. I struggled through his plays in high school and college. I loved the movie “Shakespeare in Love.” Julie and I have seen a couple of Shakespeare productions over our years together; we loved one, liked one or two more and I vaguely remember another that we disliked although I couldn’t tell you where we saw it, which play it was, or why we didn’t like it (though I vaguely remember it having to do with the production rather than the plays themselves).

I googled “Alan Tarica” this morning and found this article:

The Shakespeare Wars: 150 years of vicious conflict www.jameshartleybooks.com/shakespea…

From which I learn that Tarica is a middle-aged software developer in Bethesda, Md., who believes that the works attributed to William Shakespeare were, in fact, written by the Earl of Oxford, and that a conspiracy of academics is burying the truth. This is actually a somewhat common theory, dating back nearly 150 years; believers have included Sigmund Freud, Orson Welles, John Gielgud, Charlies Chaplin, Charles Dickens and the actor Derek Jacobi.

The conspiracy theorists are known as “Oxfordians,” while people who believe Shakespeare wrote the works attributed to him are “Stratfordians.”

I also found this thread, which started in 2013 groups.google.com/forum/

Alan Tarica apparently likes to send insulting emails to Shakespeare scholars, and people who have even casually mentioned Shakespeare, to get attention.

Alan Tarica is on Twitter as well, where he likes to insult people.

twitter.com/alantaric…

Perhaps he will take notice of me as well?

I find the whole thing charming, reminiscent of an older, more innocent age on the Internet, when the worst thing Internet trolls could do to you was send nasty message. Nowadays, the Internet trolls and conspiracy theorists literally have access to nuclear weapons. For example:

twitter.com/realdonal…

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recreatelifecounselingnet · 3 years

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Cocaine Addiction - Everything You Need To Know About Cocaine

Cocaine is among the oldest abused drugs around. In a few societies, the leaf from the cocoa plant (from which powdered cocaine is derived) is chewed or put in a tea to give a small stimulant effect much like a caffeine jolt. Though the cocoa leaf isn't technically cocaine, it is still illegal in several countries such as the United States.

In an effort to extract the strong elements from the cocoa leaf, a scientist in the 1860's put the leaf through many simple laboratory processes. A salt form was created: cocaine hydrochloride. It had been a white, powdery substance that we know today to be powdered cocaine.

With a history of over 150 years, cocaine was in the beginning considered to be magic drug endorsed by the acclaimed psychiatrist Sigmund Freud. It had been administered for all ailments, one of them being depression.

The medical community quickly found its chemical properties to be of some use. After application, the numbing effect would aid in pain and the vein-constricting properties helped to regulate bleeding.

One of many worlds leading soft-drink companies, Coca-Cola, built their empire on the stimulant properties of cocaine. With small quantities of cocaine in the drink, the buyer would feel "pepped up" after having a few drinks. It creates one wonder, with the addictive properties of cocaine as we know it today, how a number of these early coca-cola drinkers were dependent on coke...literally.

It wouldn't take long to begin to see the overwhelming addictive properties of cocaine and in the early 1900's, cocaine finally became illegal. Though as most of us know, the drug's https://www.recreatelifecounseling.com/how-long-does-crack-cocaine-high-last/ popularity and addiction didn't stop there.

Similar to drugs like Methamphetamine and Heroin, cocaine can be snorted, smoked, injected or ingested. The consequences of cocaine give the consumer an immediate overwhelming sense of euphoria. The first aftereffect of the drug is immediate but doesn't last long and must be used again to keep the "high ".

Depending how the drug is being administered into the human body, the consequences may still be felt as much as two hours after the final dosage. But cocaine addicts don't wait long to complete another "line" or "rail ".

Usually, it's only a matter of minutes between each snort, and for the cocaine smoker less than a minute. Shortly afterwards, a serious craving for the drug hits the consumer like a brick wall and another dose is needed. This goes on until the consumer either runs out from the drug, runs out of money or has been on a lengthy binge and just can't physically continue any longer.

Adhering to a cocaine binge, a "crash" occurs. As the drug wears off, feelings of hopelessness and severe depression may suddenly set in. Vital chemicals in mental performance that maintain mood and feelings of well-being have now been depleted. The aftereffects of a cocaine what does xanax to do the brain binge can be felt up to a week after last use. For an addict to feel "good" again they should use the drug that put them there in the very first place.

Cocaine addiction can be deadly even for a very first time user. In the very first hour following last use, the addict risks a 40% greater chance of getting a coronary arrest or stroke.

Chronic use could cause irreparable harm to mental performance, heart, liver, lungs, nose and throat and other vital organs. The stimulant aftereffect of cocaine causes the body's temperature to increase dramatically which, as time passes, could cause renal damage and possibly failure. There are always a long list of health threats associated with cocaine addiction and abuse.

If you suspect someone you understand is using cocaine and has become addicted, there are a few tell-tale signs to look for: sudden weight loss or decrease in appetite, clogged sinus'or sinus problems, red nose and nostrils, jittery disposition, restlessness, manic behavior and possibly paranoia, aural and/ or visual hallucinations.

If you utilize cocaine and you're addicted, there are a few options for you yourself to select from:

o You can continue on and risk having a coronary arrest, stroke or overdose and possibly die.

o Result in jail or prison.

o Stop altogether.

If you've tried to stop by yourself, you understand how difficult it may be. The odds are against you of quitting all on your own and staying clean. Accept the help available for you at this time and make the change that may keep your life.

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therapyroomsuk · 4 years

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How to Choose the Best Therapist for You

There are thousands of therapists out there, but it’s not easy to assess their qualifications, particularly in the throes of a crisis. Here’s our guide to finding help

You may see the words “counselling” and “psychotherapy” and wonder what the difference is. With so many phone numbers and emails you could use, for the uninitiated it’s a bit like putting a pin in an online map and hoping that the person who answers will be kind to you.

When you have reached that difficult moment of emotional crisis where you’ve decided to reach out to a psychology professional, you will probably look online. Cue confusion. You see bewildering lists of accreditation letters – ICP, IACP, PSI, IAHIP, FTAI to name a few - and you notice that there appear to be several methods - Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy, Constructivist Psychotherapy, Couple and Family Therapy, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Humanistic Integrative psychotherapy.

Finding a therapist is not like finding a dentist. Your friends will always have lists of dentists, and GPs and personal trainers to call. People tend not to discuss their therapists with each other, partly due to a lingering stigma in Ireland and partly because of the deeply private nature of the problem you are trying to solve.

Today psychotherapy in Ireland has developed to a high standard, even though there is no formal State accreditation of psychotherapists. Still, says psychotherapist Brendan Madden, many people still suffer for four or five years before seeking out a therapist and they may be at the end of their tethers, with sleep problems, anxiety or anger issues.

This feels like a shot in the dark, and yet you’ve never been more vulnerable because things have got pretty stressful for you to be phoning a complete stranger. As the phone rings, you may visualise yourself reaching Gabriel Byrne’s Dr Paul Weston of In Treatment, or Dr Jennifer Melfi in the Sopranos, Frasier Crane or even Sigmund Freud himself, with his goatee and couch where you will lie for an hour trying to remember your dreams. Who knows?

Whatever the reason for considering therapy, there’s no question that people feel extremely vulnerable when they finally decide to make the leap. Can you ask a friend? It’s a good idea, but you may not want to share your friend’s psychotherapist. Your GP may have a psychotherapist or counselling psychologist working in the practice, which can be a good place to start.

Comfortable

Finding a therapist may not seem as straightforward as finding a GP, but it’s actually a good idea to follow the same route. Do you feel comfortable with the person? Have they listened to you on the phone? Are they friendly, clear and otherwise consumer-aware (as in, telling you what they charge)? Are they nearby?

“In the same way we choose a doctor, we should allow ourselves the option of shopping around until we find someone we have a good fit with,” advises Trish Murphy, psychotherapist and Irish Times agony aunt. “This is not always easy and many people choose to stay with the person they first meet and this often works out well.”

Psychotherapists are trained to relate to and treat people who are distressed. They work to alleviate personal suffering and encourage change.

“The therapeutic relationship is very important and you have to be able to trust your therapist,” says Yvonne Tone, a cognitive behavioural therapist, one of the five “modalities” accredited. “It’s about collaborating with the therapist, working in a shared way to understand the problem, such as depression or anxiety, that you want to address.”

But first you have to figure out what all those accreditation letters mean and what the various forms of therapy are. Don’t you? “You can’t say that one therapy is better than another – for example, while CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) has been shown to be effective, there’s no evidence that it is better than other types of therapy,” says Brendan Madden.

Psychoanalysis, on the other hand, sees the path of self-discovery, in cooperation with the therapist, as an end in itself. “Psychoanalysis respects the individuality of each person,” says Jose Castilho, psychoanalyst and chair of the Irish Council for Psychotherapy.

“It’s not about helping the client to adapt to the world, but helping the individual to adapt to him or herself.”

While it may have a reputation for being the scenic route to wellbeing, since it’s not goal-oriented, psychoanalysis has changed over the years and can help people who are in crisis from a breakup or the loss of a job over a short space of time. Others may remain in “analysis” or other talk therapy for years because of the insights they gain.

Madden practises solution-focused “brief therapy”, where the client is encouraged to become “a solution detective” and discover their own strengths and solutions to whatever problem they’re facing, empowered by the therapist and available Therapy Room to rent.

The uninitiated may think that any therapist of whatever ilk has a gift of insight into their personality that will eventually be revealed like the third secret of Fatima. You are bound to be disappointed, because like the Wizard in Oz, the therapist hasn’t got the answers, only you do. But an effective therapist will help you figure it out.

“Therapy is not a healing ritual or practice performed by the therapist to cure psychological distress. Recovery and emotional healing comes from the strong therapeutic alliance built over time between therapist and client – and it’s really the client who does all the work,” says Madden. Trusting relationship Murphy agrees that establishing a trusting relationship is the key to the success of the therapy. “It’s the relationship between the client and the therapist, not the particular model of therapy, that is most important.”

In recent years, psychotherapy has moved towards shorter, solution-focused therapies that can help the client get through a rough patch or to make a difficult decision. Some therapies, however, can involve much more time. Where there is a serious issue with depression or anxiety, the therapy could take years to get to the source of the problem, says Dermod Moore, chair of the Irish Association of Humanistic and Integrative Psychotherapy (IAHIP).

What’s the difference between a psychiatrist and a psychologist or psychotherapists?

The key difference is that a psychiatrist has been medically trained and holds a medical degree. The suffix “-iatry” means “medical treatment,” and “-logy” means “science” or “theory.” Psychiatry is the medical treatment of the psyche, and practitioners are therefore qualified to prescribe medication, while psychology is the science of the psyche.

A psychotherapist can be a psychiatrist, psychologist or other mental health professional, who has had further specialist training in psychotherapy which focuses on helping people to overcome stress, emotional and relationship problems or troublesome habits.

What qualifications should a psychotherapist have?

All psychotherapists should be accredited with a professional body that adheres to a code of ethics and has complaints procedures and standards of practice. Currently, the Irish Council for Psychotherapy (ICP) is the umbrella body for all psychotherapy in Ireland, representing more than 1,250 psychotherapists who have undergone in-depth training and are committed to the highest standards of professional conduct. Another professional body is the Irish Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy.

Currently, the qualifications required for ICP is seven years’ training, four of those at post- graduate level dedicated specifically to psychotherapy. Many Irish psychotherapists hold the European Certificate for Psychotherapy which qualifies practitioners to work anywhere in Europe.

What will it cost?

Many therapists offer a sliding scale based on your income, so be forthright about what you can afford from the start. The cost varies depending on the psychotherapist but a regular fee is somewhere between €70-€120 per session . Less expensive therapy is available through training programmes or subsidised systems. Many psychotherapists offer a sliding scale for unemployed or retired people. Student therapists need to practise to become qualified, so you can see someone in a training programme for €50 per hour or less. The upside is that student therapists tend to be very enthusiastic, dedicated and well-supervised.

What should my therapist be like?

The therapist should empower you to feel more confident, not less. Empathy is his or her most important quality. Trust your gut instinct about whether this particular therapist is right for you. “Keep it simple and don’t be blinded by jargon. It’s the therapeutic relationship that counts – you have to have a sense that the therapist will listen, understand and work with you towards your goal,” says Madden. If you don’t feel it’s good for you or not what you agreed, then don’t be afraid to find another therapist that’s a better fit for you.

How often do I need to see the psychotherapist?

Usually the first session is used to see if there is a fit between the therapist and client and to agree what the need is about the number of sessions. The average is probably about 8 weekly sessions. Some psychotherapists work on a twice-weekly basis; these would be in the minority.

Are all therapist’s neurotic?

To train as a therapist, you do need to have therapy and sort out your own issues. However, it’s fair to say that there is a tendency for people to be drawn to psychotherapeutic training to sort out their own problems, which probably leads to a higher proportion of neurosis and issues among therapists than among the general population. But that’s usually a good thing because the therapist has probably developed a good deal of compassion and understanding on their journey to mental wellbeing and personal growth.

I’m still not sure. Why do I need a psychotherapist rather than a friend who is a good listener?

A psychotherapist will help to unravel the tangles of the issue and help to clarify what the problem is and what can be dealt with at what time. “Psychotherapy is a safe place to explore and discuss the most difficult of things, even those that are hidden,” advises Trish Murphy.

When should I seek a therapist?

“When you are troubled, suffering, shocked, grieved, floundering and unable to reach decisions,” advises Trish Murphy. “When a relationship – at home, at work or elsewhere – is in trouble is another appropriate time. A critical event might be an ideal time to source help: loss, death, accident, injury, change of country/job, rape, hurt and so on.”

How do I know it’s working?

Generally, how things are working out early on in therapy is predictive of how things will turn out. “You should feel change and notice progress fairly early in the therapy process, over a matter of weeks rather than months,” says Madden. “By six to 10 sessions there should be some early change.”

There’s sometimes a notion that you have to get worse before you get better. Madden disagrees: “If it’s getting worse, something isn’t effective. You should be feeling more hopeful after six to 10 weeks and start to feel better. If not, discuss this with your therapist and consider doing something different .”

How will I know if it’s not working?

From the start, the psychotherapist should be professional and organised and give clear, reassuring answers about their qualifications and experience. The time, date, fee and location of the appointments should be fixed and agreed. The psychotherapist should be empathetic and always put the client’s needs first (for clients at risk of self-harm or abuse, safety needs come first). All psychotherapists are guided by their association’s code of ethics that guide practice and meeting client expectations. If clients are not making progress, therapists are obliged to listen to their feedback, change the direction or focus of therapy, or make a referral onwards. You should feel listened to and heard – that is the core of empathy, a necessary condition for change. With the exception of classical psychoanalysis, the client shouldn’t be expected to do all the talking. The therapist should take turns to summaries, paraphrase and clarify what the client is saying.

Are there cases where a couples therapist is better?

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hozierandco · 4 years

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Imagine Hozier x Reader: The Trench

[A/N]: Set during WWI, this AU imagine presents Hozier as a soldier during the First World War. Irish, he serves for the British armies and while on leave meets a woman that could possibly change his life for good.

Andrew Hozier-Byrne was a brave soldier, had been from the very first day he signed up a paper making official the decision he put his mind through: he was to serve for Britain. Not that he particularly appreciated the country that had repeatedly humiliated his native soil nor did he particularly like bellicose times but in Ireland, he was an idle young fella since no work was given to him. In fact, Ireland shared a common point with the United Kingdom it so harshly tried to take distances from: both countries were elitist, assigning the proper jobs to always the same people, the better born, the most likely to get a job. For other men, war felt like a relief, an opportunity for them to prove their value to the world, no matter what the cost of that sacrifice could be.

When he was given a number to which he must reply by now, Private Hozier-Byrne realized the whole process of making canon fodder out of the loud host on its way to fight because one archduke had not been lucky and got killed. The talion law had never been that cruel before. All those men willing to die to have their corpse being prayed upon by all those politicians who would never take one tenth of the risks taken just to keep on living. Naturally, almost organically, Andrew started scribbling words that soon became sentences, sentences becoming journal entries day after day. Those notes were supposed to give a face and a name to the men he would meet, those he would fear, those who would give him absurd orders and those he was supposed to hate.

In order not to drive insane with the unhealthy humidity that brought the days of November and the unidentifiable insects milling about in the trenches, Andrew wrote verses that were seemingly only written by his zeal for living, verses that could have easily made his superiors die of the sorrow caused. Ignoring that many other men, such as Private Wilfred Owen followed the same destiny, Andrew could not help but to write, sometimes wasting the rare sleep he was given the permission to get. That exhausting process was here to fill something he could possibly not have, something that scarce crumbs of stale bread cannot replace: the company of someone that was, like him on the lookout for the next assault against the Germans. He was craving for an ear he could talk about the tough hours of waiting for something, even a wee thing, to happen. About the tears he would shed when the twilight would eventually fall over the cliffs, leaving him thinking of the sweet coast of Ireland he had left behind. Simply about life and death being so close from one another and the harsh fight to keep away from the latter. The weight of his riffle against his thorax, he would dream of the armistice and of a brighter future for him in Ireland, if he was ever to return.

By chance, his name was to serve him once. His surname being Hozier, it soon captured his sergeant's attention. Indeed, not less than Clementine Hozier who by marrying Winston Churchill - a promising politician who, in despite of some men who saw in him an opportunist, had already showed to the world his temper a few years before - had become a socialite and thus, an important woman in the British society. Sergeant Mooney, a fierce Irishman proudly wearing medals he had gained by the past on a grim green outfit strongly believed that amongst his men was a relative to Clementine Churchill, a nephew perhaps. If it was not even remotely true, as far as Andrew was aware, if he kept mum, he could possibly leave for a while the dire fields of blood. Which he did on February of 1915 when some respite was offered to the soldiers who were for some fighting since September on end.

Through the cold streets from the North of France, Andrew ended the short period of his leave in a distillery in the region of Lille. Very early in the morning, he was to take a carriage that would inevitably put him back to the front. He had had three days that he spent getting drunk, trying to forget that he was a soldier now. He had had three days that he spent writing hollow letters that he could resolve to send to his parents and to his brother who had remained in Ireland. Although the French government tried hard to stop the spreading and the sale of the Green Fairy, many bars were still offering that poisonous comfort for broken men, prone to despair and nihilism. It is in that context that Private Hozir-Byrne had discovered the holy beverage. He was about to order another glass when all of a sudden, he heard, from behind him a sweet voice he thought to be belonging to his imagination:

"That thing's gonna kill you", a woman it was. She had such a tenderness in her features. Her age was difficult to guess, she could have been fifteen or forty. If Andrew could not tell what her age was, he could tell that a woman was a beautiful one. He put the glass back on the counter and introduced him, his hand reaching out for the woman's.

"I'm Andrew, dead man walking", those three last words had escaped as an Austrian psychanalyst had written ten years earlier as the expression of his repression. If Sigmund Freud had studied his case he would have drawn the conclusion that Andrew Hozier-Byrne, so zealous to live a few months ago was now wishing that he was dead. Now that he had someone to talk to, even for just a couple of hours, would he change his behaviour?

"I'm Y/N, sutler for the soldiers in Neuve Chapelle", the woman replied with a candid voice that made Andrew's face white.

"Nice to meet you!", Andrew replied to that sordid encounter. Y/N nodded as to say that she too was glad to have met the man at that time of her life. Volunteer like Andrew, Y/N had no skills enough to be a nurse but was to get involved in the Great War, one way or another. Her father had been a soldier too, she could understand more than anyone what it means to fight for one's country, but above all for freedom. She had become a sutler on September of 1914, giving a hand to more than one soldier in the villages of the Marne and now in the North of France, since the dreadful battle of Arras and then Ypres, in Belgium. She had seen bodies scattered, plundered from their weapons, making them appear to be gawkers when they had been brave, making them look sad when they died happy, happy to have been part of that humongous fight.

That meeting was doomed to no outcome, which made it even more intimate. Knowing that they would not see each other after that night, they could talk about everything with no fear. That is how they started talking about the war freely, the lost hopes, the victory that was so difficult to imagine once amid the stifling dust and the mice. If Y/N had been a spy or if any malevolent soul had listened to the conversation, Andrew would have easily been charged for treason against his country, or at least the country he served under the flag for. But even then, Andrew would not mind. If he was to be hung, at least he would have been honest doing so. His neck attached to a noose could not be as revolting as what he had been witnessing for months.

After a whole hour of a heated discussion about silly orders men were told to follow and about the beauty of the Irish coast, Y/N was called by the owner from the other side of the bar. "And now, may I introduce you to the gorgeous Y/N", he said in a strong French accent. Andrew looked at her as an improvised stage was now floodlit. Y/N advanced on the minuscule promontory and began a little speech that she concluded by: "To all the Irish soldiers, that song dedicated" and on that looked at the distraught man. With eyes closed and the voices dumb around her, Y/N sang heartily The Wind that Shakes the Barley, thus echoing to the morbid taste Andrew was given in as well as his melancholy towards his country.

Tears were forming on Andrew's canthus as the words were so precisely describing his feelings. Between the moment Y/N had started singing and the moment she sat back next to Andrew, the latter knew that singing was his own destiny. If he was to come back from the war, he would be a singer. He congratulated Y/N when she sat back. The two of them spent the night together, aware that the world was coming to an end, trying their best to delay the deadline.

By seven in the morning, Y/N woke up in an empty bed, hers that an angel had blessed during the night. During the rest of the fight that had torn apart Europe, Y/N did her best to get informed on Andrew's fate. Has he survived? She hated herself for she had not asked his surname, which would have helped far more than to look for every single Andrew fighting in the trenches.

She had no information when the armistice was signed and started losing hope as to see him again. She was still living in the North of France, thinking that if Andrew wanted to see her again, he would seek in the region, making things easier for their reunion. Which was a great option since that happy day happened.

By December of 1918, almost a month after the war had ended in Europe, Andrew wished to go back to Ireland. He still had some papers to sign to make official his departure from the army. In Ireland, a new fever impregnated; men who fought during the war now wanted their young wives and their future children to be called Irish, and not British anymore. Andrew wanted to take part in that fight too, with the same strength that he put into the Great War. From the fields to Ireland, Andrew had to cross the region in which he had met Y/N. He prayed that she was still there. When the two gathered, it felt just like they had never stopped seeing each other.

Three months later, the two moved in together in the venerate Ireland that only a year later became independant, far from the mud of the war.

#hozier firstworldwar hozierxreader alternateuniverse

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alwaysspeakshermind · 5 years

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Top 5 Anti-Varchie Arguments & Why They Make No Sense

#3: “Varchie breaks up every other day/they’re so toxic.”

Yeah, so...to quote both Hamlet 3.3.87 and that one Bugs Bunny meme—NO.

[Quick but serious question: is this whole “they break up all the time” thing a trying-to-be-cleverly-snarky exaggeration, or are people really just that unobservant? I want to believe it’s the first, but I see it so often now that I’m becoming horribly afraid it’s the latter.]

Over the course of three seasons and 57 episodes, Archie and Veronica break up three times—three!—and each of those times, the breakup is precipitated by outside events, no one is happy to be breaking up, and both parties make a concerted effort to remain friends while neither ever actually quits caring about the other.

Regarding the toxic argument: no they are quite obviously a safe and non-toxic ship. (Although they do appear to present the occasional choking hazard for children under the age of 13 who cannot seem to swallow Varchie’s happiness).

“Toxic” is, however, a term I refuse to unpack and dissect at the length it deserves right now because I’m so incredibly sick of the misconceptions Tumblr and the rest of the internet perpetuates regarding toxic/abusive relationships that my exhausted frustration with this subject alone can fill pages and it’ll drag me off topic. So instead, I’m just going to point out that while none of Riverdale’s main ships is toxic (everyone’s just young; there is an actual difference), Varchie is the ship with the fewest elements the internet typically likes to designate as such (antagonism/aggression toward each other, childish/petty behavior designed to get under the other’s skin, resentment/bitterness directed at the other person following a breakup, etc.), so the frequency with which this argument is thrown around is extra-laughable.

Especially considering how demonstrably willing both Archie and Veronica are to overcome their unfamiliarity with each other’s world, share each other’s concerns, support each other’s interests, and essentially serve as each other’s partner because they both consider all those things fundamental parts of being in a relationship (which they are).

**IMPORTANT NOTE: if you struggle to discern the difference between:

(1) a healthy real-life relationship (which, sorry to be the bearer of bad news, will in fact include arguments because people are people and no human being who possesses a mind of their own agrees with another human being all the time)

(2) a toxic real-life relationship (which can include arguments but doesn’t have to)

(3) healthy and toxic fictional relationships (which are entirely different beasts, particularly in book or TV series as plot requirements frequently dictate that characters react in ways that no actual person would, because the narrative needs conflict or drama to function and publishers/networks still over-rely on relationships to provide that conflict or drama)

then you probably will believe Varchie is toxic, and you definitely need to do some research that goes a little deeper than Wikipedia/that one post with a bunch of notes that was written by a person who came out of their first college psychology class feeling like Sigmund Freud. Toxic relationships are no joke, and it’s a little frightening to see how many people on the internet are so confused as to what constitutes one in reality that they frequently interpret normal, healthy relationships portrayed in fiction as toxic, and borderline-toxic relationships in fiction as healthy. (Also, it doesn’t help that people who, for whatever reason, feel the need to paint their dislike of a certain pairing in homilectic terms, are in the habit of taking scenes that check off a few of the “toxic relationship” boxes and twisting them out of context so that they can pretend there’s an element of moral superiority to their prejudice.)

But, important reminder! Fiction and real life are not the same thing, so if you want to measure fiction by reality’s standards, you have to apply liberal amounts of common sense to your assessments of the goings-on in a fictional world and recognize that many developments are necessitated by things like plot advancement, network executives, deadlines, and your basic this-actor-got-sick or that-actor-is-going-leave-soon randomness. Playing judge, jury, and executioner on the toxicity of TV relationships is, if possible, even more complex than just judging the toxicity of real-life relationships because by arbitrary unwritten law, TV relationships must include some onscreen friction.

In fact, one of the first things you’re taught about writing fiction is that no one wants to read/watch/hear about the thing that almost happened, so don’t waste valuable narrative time portraying that—yes, everyone likes to joke about how they would love to watch a show where the kids went to class everyday and everything happened normally, but it’s a joke. It’s not true. No one who’s done with high school really wants to go back again and listen to an hour of boring lectures week after week, and no one who’s still in school wants to come home and watch a show that’s a repeat of their entire day. TV shows (or books, or movies) expect you to understand that each episode/scene/chapter/whatever is a story they’re telling you about the time something did happen, and that expectation also extends to fictional relationships. Just because you happen to witness a couple’s every fight/argument/disagreement onscreen does not mean you’re expected to conclude that “OMG, this couple is so toxic! All they ever do is fight!”

No.

That would be like concluding the only holidays in the town of Riverdale are Christmas and Labor Day because we haven’t seen them have Halloween or New Year’s yet. You’re expected to put two and two together and assume they’ve celebrated those holidays that logically must have preceded and followed Christmas, just like you’re expected to grasp the underlying implication that after weeks/months of happiness and fun and peace, these two characters who love each other are now squabbling/experiencing tension over something important that they disagree on. Archie and Veronica are shown working together, being happy, enjoying one another’s company etc. multiple times before conflict ever arises between them, and them figuring out how to navigate through that conflict is intended as a facet of the story’s plot and a developmental point in their character arcs, not a red flag denoting an unhealthy relationship.

But anyways.

Back to the “they break up all the time” argument and why its fallaciousness is so obvious that it needs to be retired with all possible speed. (And as a bonus, also back to its close relatives “they break up for stupid reasons and get back together in five minutes.”

The “Shouldn’t-Be-Necessary-But-Apparently-Is”Quick Guide To Varchie Breakups:

Breakup #1: The end of episode 2x08

Duration of breakup: Almost one whole episode (that spans the course of at least a couple days)

What leads to breakup: Archie, the comfortable-with-feelings person, drops the L-word and desperately wants to hear it back. Veronica, the uncomfortable-with-feelings person, isn’t sure she can say it back and doesn’t want to go on acting like it’s not a big deal when she can see how important it is to Archie.

The outcome: Neither Archie nor Veronica’s actual feelings change at all from the time of the breakup to the time of the reunion. (No, not even when Betty kisses Archie.) Veronica just finally realizes that what she feels for Archie is love, so she goes to see him and tells him face-to-face. Archie is happy to get back together right then and there, and they resume where they left off.

“Breakup” #2: The end of episode 3x06

Duration of “breakup”: three +/- episodes (end of 3x06-beginning of 3x10)

What leads to “breakup”: Archie believes Hiram’s vendetta against him endangers everyone close to him, not just him, and decides running away is his only option.

The outcome: Once again, neither Archie nor Veronica’s actual feelings change. They both attempt to move on/forget (Archie with Farm Girl Whose Name Escapes Me, Veronica with Reggie), but don’t exactly succeed as evidenced by Veronica’s anger, Archie’s remorse, and how quickly they want to get back together when he returns to town.

NOTE: This is the one I sarcastically refer to as “the breakup” because it was over the phone (which, as everyone who’s ever utilized this dodge knows, is the easiest way to keep yourself from going back on a hard decision you don’t want to make. It should be obvious to those with functioning sensibilities that Archie does it that way because he knows if he goes the in-person route he’ll have to see Veronica cry and won’t be able to handle it). Besides that, Archie tells Veronica that he loves her and she was “it” for him from the day he met her, and it clearly kills both them to say goodbye. So again, as any viewer with common sense can see, it’s a breakup in name only—their heads are forced to accept what their hearts can’t, and everything they think is resolved is really only postponed.

Breakup #3: The end(ish) of episode 3x10

Duration of breakup: ALMOST TWELVE WHOLE EFFING EPISODES (end of 3x10-middleish of 3x22). COUNT THEM.

What leads to breakup: Archie has in no way recovered from his rough experiences over the past months, and is behaving erratically. Veronica observes his out-of-character behavior with a lot of concern, and Reggie (whether accidentally or on purpose) fuels the idea that Archie is no longer Archie, so when Hiram ends up shot the day of the PSATs, Veronica knee-jerk reacts due to all the stress, worries that Archie might be responsible for it, and doesn’t contradict Archie when he asks if they’re done.

The outcome: Once again (surprise, surprise!) neither Archie nor Veronica’s feelings for one another change. They again try to move on/forget each other by dating other people (Josie and Reggie), but it doesn’t work. They remain close, continue to look to each other for comfort/support, and as soon as they’re faced with a life-or-death scenario, they throw caution to the wind and tell each other the truth (“I love you. I don’t think I ever stopped loving you”/“My heart ached for you. Because I felt the same way.”)

To recap: what do these breakups have in common?

(1) Each breakup is due to a legitimate concern involving the other person, i.e., they are breakups for mature reasons, not breakups for “How dare you not text me back within five minutes” or “I’m a free range pony that can’t be tamed” reasons (with all due respect to Fat Amy)

(2) Neither Archie nor Veronica wanted to break up

(3) Both Archie and Veronica continued to love each other

When you’re young, the un-fun truth is that you frequently make really bad decisions in love. (You also do it sometimes when you’re older, too.) Archie and Veronica breaking up because they mistakenly perceive certain issues as insurmountable, trying to move on with other people and then going back to each other to make things right and reaffirm the love they couldn’t pretend away the instant the opportunity arises isn’t them being fickle, or toxic—it’s just them being young and clueless and trying to recover from young and clueless mistakes as maturely as possible.

And believe it or not, their relationship has been handled very well by Riverdale. There are few other TV couples who’ve been as steady as A&V, and none of them are teen couples (in fact, the only ones that even come to mind out of all the shows I’ve ever seen are married and/or background couples, not main couples, because main characters’ relationships are always put through more drama). It is basically unheard of for a teen show’s protagonist and their primary love interest (who, incidentally, is also another main character) to only go through three breakups in three seasons. It is rarer still for each of those breakups to have a justifiable concern at its core, and rarest of all for the characters to take the mature and difficult let’s-be-friends approach rather than the easy and childish let’s-personally-attack-the-other approach.

That is not a back-and-forth and/or toxic relationship. That is a fictional teenage relationship handled more maturely than many a fictional adult relationship, and that is good.

Postscript to the rant:

Veronica does not break up with Archie in 1x01, because they are not yet together.

Veronica does not break up with Archie in 1x11, because they are not yet together.

Archie does not break up with Veronica in 2x01; he’s telling her he wants her to leave because he’s upset and lashing out.

Archie does not break up with Veronica in 3x01, he just tries to soldier-heading-off-to-war her because he loves her too much to want her to waste her time waiting on him and Veronica refuses to agree to it because she loves him too much to back out because the going looks like it might get tough.

I don’t know why all of these scenes are forever being cited as breakup scenes, but they are, and it’s so bafflingly incorrect that it makes me shudder. They’re not breakup scenes. End of story.

#varchie #archie x veronica #riverdale opinion #rant #my opinion #my post #three times #they broke up three times #on a teen show #on the CW #do people seriously not get how unicorn-like a concept that is?

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