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#anti jonrya
esther-dot · 4 months
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They will really be like INCEST IS DISGASTING JON WOULD NEVER, and Well, if Jon had a gun to his head to commit incest, it would clearly be with the 11 year old because she’s nlog, in the next sentence
I just think it’s funny. They’re truly the nicer ones I disagree with compared to the ones who reimagine Sansa completely as The Evil Stepsister who Will Get What She Deserves by dying or marrying <insert grown ass man>
(continuation of this convo)
“gun to his head to commit incest” 😂
I just don’t understand why they all claim it’s incest when in-world cousin marriage is normal and there’s a whole thing about Westeros does consider incest. Besides, an important feature of Jonsa is the incest fakeout. They’re worried about their feelings only for it to turn out to be totally fine after Jon’s parentage reveal. It’s actually kinda important that it’s not incest.
Evil Sansa is one of the strangest fandom inventions! I’m beginning to suspect the way fans defend certain characters murdering people but can’t get over pre-canon Sansa “bullying” her siblings (something they fabricated) is less about a sincere reading of the story and more about trying to justify their Sansa hate.
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tartheanmaid · 8 months
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can anyone recommend some jonsa fic with an arya pov? i have a craving
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agentrouka-blog · 1 year
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Do you think Jonnel/Sansa marriage remaining childless and GRRM having Jonnel remarry after Sansa's death, signals bad things for Jonsa? Also what do you think of Sansa's sister marrying Jon Umber and Edric Stark? Jonsasource apparently considers it to be Jonrya foreshadowing
I do think that Jonnel/Sansa is meant to foreshadow Jonsa (I mean, whatever else for, ffs) but at the same time it's a Bad Precedent that jonsa is meant to subvert.
Jonnel marrying his half-niece Sansa the Elder to absorb her claim when she should have ruled in her own right is pretty awful. That's basically Cregan and Alys Karstark. Her early death is awful. He remarries but also dies childless. They contributed nothing to the ancestry of today's Starks. (Neither did her sister Serena who married Jonnel's brother Edric, though they had many children.)
That scenario is obviously not the future of House Stark, okay?
GRRM put both of these people into the Stark family tree so they could be found by the curious. The give us a married couple by the name of Jon and Sansa, which is significant, and they also give us a Big Reminder that the North has never had a Queen of Winter or a ruling Lady of Winterfell. Just as the next Sansa with a claim is rounding the corner. Whose claim was pitted against that of a Jon. Auspicious timing.
Will history repeat to prevent the rule of a woman by tying her to a man through a marriage of convenience? Or will there be a twist?
Given how Jon loudly said "Nope, Winterfell belongs to Sansa." and how he reacted to Cregan Karstark's attempt to pull a Jonnel on Alys, I have a strong suspicion that he's not going to go down that route with Sansa at all.
If this Jon(nel) and Sansa marry, it will not be to absorb her claim. It will not be some loveless marriage of convenience, nor childless and thus inconsequential for the continuation of House Stark.
No one will ever marry me for love. (ASOS, Sansa VI)
You don't write a line like that unless you intend to disprove it.
I think of it the same way as I think of the two historical figures named Daenerys Targaryen. Both touch on themes at play with current Dany, be that peace and children or sexist succession conflicts and Targaryen exceptionalism. Both contain foreshadowing and set up subversions.
(As for Jonrya, I can only keep chanting "She is eleven in TWOW" and point out that GRRM is not going to leave the future of House Stark an open question when succession conflicts have been at the heart of the book from the start. When these books end, we will know how their line continues, and not in a "the girl who probably got her first period in the final book will marry her favorite brother and they will have six children somewhere down the line" kind of way. I mean we will know. Because we will see it happen.)
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rise-my-angel · 3 months
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You are sooooo right about shippers not engaging with Jon as his own character. It’s especially weird for me (despite enjoying Jonerys in theory) to see Jonerys shippers doing this because like. They haven’t met. None of them are show!Jonerys fans for obvious reasons so it’s just the book versions of these characters and they have not met. Literally it’s all speculation about their dynamic. Despite being open to the ship under specific circumstances I don’t think it’s undeniably foreshadowed at all. Everything that gets called foreshadowing is tenuous. You can’t generally definitively call something foreshadowing until the events being purportedly foreshadowed actually come to pass, unless it’s truly really screaming in your face obvious but if it’s that obvious I’m not sure if it’s that good from a writing perspective. I think foreshadowing should only really be clear in retrospect. Shippers also are so selective in what they’ll acknowledge just do they can hold onto these moments. Like jonsas and the Slynt beheading. You’re so right that it is a JON moment. And shippers refuse to acknowledge that George say he was originally going to have Slynt HUNG, not beheaded, until someone pointed out that Jon would want to do it the northern way. Of everyone I think Jonrya shippers do the best at acknowledging Jon as his own character and I think it’s because there’s so much in the actually text demonstrating how much Jon and Arya care about each other. It’s not speculation unlike with Jonsa and Jonerys. It’s just that they read this and think it’s romance instead of sibling love. I can’t say I blame them because of the original outline, but it’s also a ship that is really really not for me because they were raised as siblings.
I actually sent you an ask months ago and forgot to check your response. I finally found it. I discussed how much upbringing influences how we know who our relatives are and that that’s why Jonerys doesn’t make me uncomfortable the way Jonrya and Jonsa do. I’m an evolutionary biologist so I fully understand why incest is avoided. However, I didn’t know how much we actually CAN detect our blood relatives without being raised to know who they are. I fully believed it was entirely upbringing, because upbringing is sufficient to establish someone as “relative” in our brains (ie adopted siblings recognize each other as siblings and are repulsed by the idea of mating despite not sharing blood). But I came to the false conclusion that because it was sufficient it’s the only mechanism. I did some looking into it and you’re right! There’s evidence that we can subconsciously smell our relatives based on MHC complexes—however this isn’t 100% reliable because sometimes our relatives will have differing MHC complexes and nonrelatives will have very similar ones just based on recombination and the gene pool of the population, but that’s why the upbringing factor exists as a supplement to innate biological factor. I appreciated being prompted to learn more!
However I’m not sure George would take this into consideration. Within the universe of the books, I think it’s perfectly feasible that they wouldn’t biologically recognize each other as relatives because there are many cases of non first degree incest (first degree being siblings and parents) being carried out without any disgust. However real life is obviously different I do not blame anyone at all for being opposed to a ship based on real life principles. There are lots of ships I oppose that would be fine in-universe based on my own real life principles.
Anyway I’ve said a lot here and sorry for all the words. I just really enjoy discussion and it’s hard to have any nuanced conversations in the fandom because of the issues we’ve mentioned here and I’m eager to find someone so willing to engage with people who have different opinions
You wrote me an essay, so I wrote you a novel in return. I am sorry in advance but I love rational and calm, respectful discussions and debate and you thus far have been a great sport for my word vomit.
This isn't directed at you personally, but more of a blanket statement in saying, it is just very odd and funny that in this specific fandom, I find myself having to be more knowledgeable about the harmful physical, genetic, and psychological impacts of incest, to explain why I am against it, then those who are for it. It is just very funny how much defending I do about not supporting incest ships, compared to any other fandom where any incest shippers live in the dark because they know it's weird and gross.
That being said, I'm addressing Jonrya first. Because, I have gone on record to say I personally think shipping that is very gross.
Show or Book, that is a dynamic where any romantic implications being attached to it are very uncomfortable. Arya is so deeply ingrained in his head as his baby sister that adding any romance to that makes Jon look incredibly predatory. Arya is still a very young child in the single digits in the books, and Jon is very clearly at the start of the show a man in his 20's.
I do not think claiming anything of the outline is any reasonable argument. It was in an outline which was scrapped for a reason. As a writer, I wouldn't want any of my initial outline ideas to be used as proof of canon. It isn't canon one way or the other and I do not accept it as fair use of evidence for a ship. Jons canon thoughts about her are textbook loving older brother. It feels predatory to make Jons thoughts of a very young, child Arya to be that of romantic. It makes him appear as if his closeness and kindness were all tinted in a different intent towards a child.
Arya in every adaptation, is too young. I will never support any evidence of that ship because it is the exact kind of predatory dynamic which Jonrya fans denounce in other ships involving older man/younger woman characters. I hate this idea of taking Jons point of view and deciding his affection is not brotherly, only when discussing his sisters. It takes away the validity of Jons character being a good big brother, because now his good brotherly nature only towards his sisters is rooted in predatory behaviour whether they realize it or not. This goes for Jonrya and Jonsa both.
Moving on, you did hit the nail on the head about the “proof” about Jon and Dany. Foreshadowing is not a common tool used whenever grrm writes anything. Foreshadowing is a very specific tool he uses to elaborate more on motifs and themes and over arching plots, rather then for every minute character dynamic. Jon and Dany have literally no evidence that a ship will exist. They are not even on the same continent and they are constantly shown to be at extreme moral opposites to one another.
There is no scrap of proof a relationship or even base attraction will ever exist. That is all pure fan theory with no in text evidence. Same with Jon and Sansa. Jon doesn't not think about Sansa because he loves her the most. That is not Jon Snow, we know that. He thinks constantly about the people he loves, and there is no evidence backing up he doesn't think of her often for love that is not also pure fan theory with no empirical evidence. Sansa had rarely ever thought about Jon and when she has more times then not, it was associated in a negative light. Her points of view about her bullying of Arya showcase that, as she insults and wishes to denounce Arya as someone she should care about in ways that connect her to Jon. Wishing Arya was a bastard like him because she doesn't want to call her a trueborn sister. Repeatedly noting Arya looks just like Jon and then exploring the times Sansa constantly thinks Arya is ugly. The only time she has any growth about this is when she is being talked down to when posing as Petyr Baelish's bastard daughter, and she doesn't like being treated that way, but it is not explored that Sansa has literally treated Jon worse then this her whole life. She has not yet even realized she engaged in the exact same kind of classist treatment that Catelyn treated him with.
So much of what Jonerys, Jonsa, and Jonrya shippers do, is look at Jon and discuss it in a way that supposedly symbolizes their ship. They do NOT analyze their female fave and associate how deeply it all ties to their ship. Jons story is always secretly about the ship, but the other female part of the ship is their own story who will only be about Jon when they get together. Jon is not the character they like, it is the girl. Jon is the love interest, the accessory to their story. Not a unique half all of his own.
As for the incest, because these people all function biologically the same as we do, other then when magic is inferred, it is reasonable to assume real life science is included. Grrm does not need to tell me about invisible pheromones or scent markers for me to apply that to the characters. It is indirectly supported by the sheer fact that most characters within the world of asoiaf do not engage in incest and do not support it. Meaning, 99% of the average population of asoiaf are not attracted to their family members what so ever. Meaning it is reasonable to assume the same biological factors are at play here.
But the thing about certain incest dynamics not being carried out with disgust doesn't really apply with Jon ships here. Jons three biggest ships are his little sisters, and his aunt. Two family relations that both physically and psychologically are the most harmful to engage in. The dynamics of incest shown to be the most psychologically harmful is sibling to sibling incest, parent to child incest, and aunt/uncle to nephew/neice incest. Those are such close familial ties with SO many shared biological markers that it is not reasonable at all to think not knowing each other at first would make that biological connection less important. I only met my aunt in my mid 20's and from that moment on she has been as much my aunt in my head as my mother is my mother. Once that knowlede of family is made, it will not be severed. If Jon is not inclinced already towards incest, he will never engage in it with that knowledge.
Dany is his aunt. Dany also, has very inbed genetics to a shocking degree, meaning the biological markers she shares with Jon would be so strong she basically would wreak of red flags. And learning they have such a close biological connection would instantly sever any possible ability in Jon to view her in any romantic or physical attraction sense. He was not raised like her. Jon does not now think incest is normal, and thus he never will.
Also, learning Dany is his aunt would make any physical or romantic dynamics extremely traumatizing for him. The second Jon learns the truth of his birth, Jon will realize that he is related to Dany in the exact way Jon spent his whole life thinking he was related to the woman who was his mother. Jon learning his aunt was actually his mother, would destroy any capability of a relationship with Dany.
That would utterly change every single way he views any character in a motherly or aunt manner. It would destroy that potential in an instant because now Dany is to Jon, what Jon previously thought his mother was to him. It would be traumatizing should a relationship already exist and it would sever any chance of a relationship forming if it hadn't existed already.
The reason the Targaryeans did the most incest and are almost extinct, is because their engaging in incest was not sustainable and it was harmful.
Shown by characters like Egg, who literally grew up his whole life trying to escape the incestual nature of his family. One of his brothers made threats about cutting off his manhood in terms of making a wife for himself. That is not a family who engages in incest beceause they think it is normal. This is a family raised to view their incest in terms of furthering a bloodline because they see themselves as superior to those they rule over. They do not think it is fine, they do it because they raise each other to think it is necessary to further their superior bloodline. And they paid the price. Targaryean women the more inbred they were struggled to give birth, struggled to carry pregnancies to term and often died on the birthing bed with alarming freqency for how short their dynasty lasted.
It is not sustainable and it is harmful. The main plot beat of the story was literally how so many people viewed the incestual relationship of a brother and sister to be an abomination, that wars were started to dethrone them and the population and faith turned against them for it. This is not a world where people think incest is fine, unless it is a learned behaviour their whole life.
People can ship it, it's fine. But despite how much he writes it, grrm time and time again has shown that those in asoiaf who engage in incest, pay a deep, harmful price for it. He writes it a lot, but writing a lot of it does not mean he thinks it is behavior which should be supported for his charcters. Otherwise those who engage in such close incest, would not constantly be punished for doing so.
I have to apply real world logic to being anti incest, because my excuse of “I think it's gross” has been deemed as hateful and unfair. So you can imagine it is frustrating to see my favourite character is primiarly shipped with either women with VERY close biological or familial ties to him, or his rapist.
So, yeah I love talking about Jon but so much of it is me defending why I have never been convinced of any pro incest arguments. It is a goofy situation to be in.
Those who followed me for my pedro pascal content are dying on the inside, I decided I loved Jon Snow and suddenly my blog keeps becoming a haven of debates around the morality of incest.
It is silly silly silly.
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catofoldstones · 7 months
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then you said wrong ❤️
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atopvisenyashill · 7 months
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What are your thoughts on jon/arya as a romantic ship?
short answer is it’s just not my thing
longer answer is
the thing about me is that i don’t actually like reading about incest unless it’s fucked up, and those two are simply two healthily loving to be the sort of incest i go for. and the age gap is a lot for me. i know i sound ridiculous saying this bc i ship a lot of incest & a lot of age gaps but like. i like targs bc they’re all fucking bonkers twisted & they have cool magical powers lmao. i don’t care that much about cersei/jaime as a unit (they’re boring to Me. i see the appeal i just don’t care) despite being very fond of both of them separately. the jonsa of my mind trauma bonds & are then separated forever (i Am a sad ending jonsa truther i’m sorry @ all the happy ending jonsas following me), and i think it’s weird that tywin and rickard both married their cousins and i also think it’s weird that fdr & eleanor had the same last name before marrying as well! i have no reason for this beyond “it squicks me out when incest is healthy” like i’m fine with it being ~sexy~ and even romantic but i need some level of psychosexual trauma or i don’t want it. jon & arya are just too much like normal siblings for me to ship them. i feel the same about every other starkling ship except *sort of* jon/robb but i have to be in a really specific mood for that. and the age gap is like - the only “healthy” age gap i like is braime and they are both fully adults by our standards and theirs when they meet. all the others involve some level of grooming and i fully admit to that, and jonrya have such an age gap where that can Only be grooming in that situation and that’s just not their dynamic - to me the whole point of their dynamic is that they have this perfect, unsullied relationship to think on when the world gets horrible and that when they meet they will be so fundamentally different but that love and that bond will remain the same. you can’t really have that if jon is lusting after his barely adolescent traumatized sister.
the great thing about jon and arya is that they are so well written as a sibling unit that i am incapable of shipping them bc they remind me too much of me and my siblings. same for sansa/arya and all the focus the starklings have on robb.
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confusingwizard · 1 year
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am I the only one who gets viscerally uncomfortable about jonsa and or especially jon/arya? Ignoring the current age gaps, Sansa doesn't really see Jon as a brother but they still grew up with a somewhat familial relationship, and Arya sees him as a brother and as I remember even calls him a brother. I just can't see the appeal
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asharaxofstarfall · 8 months
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if i was kidnapped and sold off as a child bride to a known sadist and a political enemy, i'm pretty sure that my older brother would fight tooth and nail to get me back too
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esther-dot · 2 years
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How do you think j0nry@ stans got the idea that j0nry@ would end up canon? I cant seem to rap my head around the concept because at least jonrice has some “stuff” to point to their ship but j0nry@ has very little stuff that makes any sense besides the theories from self insert ar/ya stans
I’ll tell you about what I’ve seen, but I think you’ll regret asking 😂
For starters, they have the original outline. I know we all laugh because the story has changed so much, but I actually have some sympathy for this because I think the fact that Martin apparently always intended for Bran to end up king is really interesting. Obviously the context/meaning of it changed, but I’m not sure why fans act like the details being different means there isn’t anything to be gleaned from the outline. Also, I do think it matters that Martin liked the idea of a Jon x Stark girl romance because a) it means everyone arguing he’d never consider Jon/“sister” pairing can be ignored. The idea was very much in his head at one point! b) it means he thought fauxcest was commercially viable. Anyway, at one point he did say Jon would have a romance with Arya.
From the most reasonable to the most disturbing reason…swords are common phallic imagery. Can I stop there? No? Jon gives Arya a sword in AGOT. Jonry@s have metas about how that means they will eventually have sex.
Actually, maybe this is more disturbing. The argument that they will fall in love is supported with quotes about their existing love, as in, they think their sibling bond is foreshadowing for romantic love. That’s why they harp on how rarely Jon and Sansa think of each other and talk about how Jon doesn’t love Sansa—because the absence of the sibling love (in their minds) sinks romantic Jonsa which is funny because that’s what a lot of us look at and think is what would make it possible. Anyway, that means that a common thing to do is to think of this moment--
Arya ran to him for a last hug. "Put down the sword first," Jon warned her, laughing. She set it aside almost shyly and showered him with kisses. (AGOT, Jon II)
--as a shipping moment. They use it in their metas/shippy fanart.
The other thing I’ve seen them point to are the comparisons of Ygritte to Arya:
Ygritte watched and said nothing. She was older than he'd thought at first, Jon realized; maybe as old as twenty, but short for her age, bandy-legged, with a round face, small hands, and a pug nose. Her shaggy mop of red hair stuck out in all directions. She looked plump as she crouched there, but most of that was layers of fur and wool and leather. Underneath all that she could be as skinny as Arya. (ACOK, Jon VI)
and
Ygritte trotted beside Jon as he slowed his garron to a walk. She claimed to be three years older than him, though she stood half a foot shorter; however old she might be, the girl was a tough little thing. Stonesnake had called her a "spearwife" when they'd captured her in the Skirling Pass. She wasn't wed and her weapon of choice was a short curved bow of horn and weirwood, but "spearwife" fit her all the same. She reminded him a little of his sister Arya, though Arya was younger and probably skinnier. It was hard to tell how plump or thin Ygritte might be, with all the furs and skins she wore. (ASOS, Jon II)
Look, you asked, and I did warn you. They take those passages and say, (I’ve seen this multiple times by different Jonry@s), “Why are you thinking about Arya naked, Jon?” You brought this on yourself anon. You have to live with that.
So, to them there is the author’s intent in the original outline followed by a promise in the first book of the two later having a romantic relationship, the “erotic subtext” continued with the comparisons to Ygritte which all culminates with this:
Jon flexed the fingers of his sword hand. The Night's Watch takes no part. He closed his fist and opened it again. What you propose is nothing less than treason. He thought of Robb, with snowflakes melting in his hair. Kill the boy and let the man be born. He thought of Bran, clambering up a tower wall, agile as a monkey. Of Rickon's breathless laughter. Of Sansa, brushing out Lady's coat and singing to herself. You know nothing, Jon Snow. He thought of Arya, her hair as tangled as a bird's nest. I made him a warm cloak from the skins of the six whores who came with him to Winterfell … I want my bride back … I want my bride back … I want my bride back …(ADWD, Jon XIII)
To them, Jon is talking about Arya being his bride. A lot of these fans think Arya will be QitN, so it’s possible they have a theory about Jon marrying her to unite his claim with a Stark post parentage reveal, just as Jonsas argue? I really don’t know because they tend to hate Sansa so I’ve blocked a lot of them. But, that's the proof/argument I saw before I filtered the tag.
I responded to an ask from a Jonry@ once here, and explained why I didn’t think it was happening.
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fvckinaphrodite · 1 year
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i just skimmed through my followers list and found a jonrya-jonerys and sansa anti blog following me since god knows when. and-and i don't know how to feel???? like i can think of several reasons WHY, but it's just so bizarre? what is going on here?
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agentrouka-blog · 8 months
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What is your opinion of people comparing jon and arya's situation to rhaegar and lyanna? Its disgusting beyond words to me, personally.
It's them carefully steering past the obvious parallel of Brandon and Lyanna or Ned and Lyanna, or even Tyrion and Jaime (!), in order to force a romantic context where it doesn't exist.
Rhaegar didn't try to save his beloved sibling from captivity. He was the captor.
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rise-my-angel · 3 months
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I appreciate your takes a lot and think you are quite respectful. I am a Dany fan and would enjoy Jon and Dany together in the books if it was healthy and they were interested in each other and blah blah basically it would have to be a very specific scenario for me to enjoy it but anyway I don’t consider myself a stan of any character or ship and I’m a bit perplexed by that type of fan. I enjoy reading posts by people who disagree with me and have different interpretations of characters. I get so disappointed when I find that I’m blocked by someone just because maybe they hate Dany or they ship a ship I don’t like even though we otherwise have similar opinions and even if we don’t, isn’t it nice to see what other people think sometimes? It’s refreshing I think. I’m a big Jon fan and I’m going to enjoy posts by other true Jon fans even if they don’t like Dany. I just have a hard time seeing why everyone is so bothered. Some fans are very rude and toxic when people disagree (I have been accused by other Dany fans of secretly being a Sansa and Jonsa stan just because I said I think Dany COULD be a villain in the books and I’d be okay with it as long as it’s well written which is silly. I’d be okay with so many different outcomes as long as they’re well written because it’s not my story and I trust George to tell a good one if he ever finishes it at all). I just wish we as fans could focus on celebrating the things we do agree on and ignore it when we disagree or have respectful and thought provoking conversations instead of just blocking or being hostile
I genuinely like dissecting what about characters or ships I dislike and why. I love analyzing fiction in ways that explore what works or doesn't work about something for a story in my personal opinion and how framing certain characters can have adverse effects on fan point of views.
People talk about "hating on things" when really, I love discussing why I think Rhaegar is a peice of shit. I love explaining what about Dany I think is a tyrant. But that is very difficult with a very specific subset of this fandom.
Mostly Dany stans and Sansa stans, but this also bleeds into the general discussion of targ stans. The fact of the matter is, they are fine with trashing the other character, but as soon as I make a post that is anti that character they stan, I am hating unjustifiably. I am hating just to hate and I am looking for things to hate.
And unfortunately, that means I am always on the defensive about my Jon opinions. This fandom has an issue with discussing Jon without attaching a ship to that narrative, especially Jonsa and Jonerys stans. I do not ship him with anyone, therefore I want to discuss him as a singular character and that includes exploring what I think are problematic and toxic characters towards him. Which in my analysis, includes Dany and Sansa. But because to a lot of these people, Jon is seen as an extension of Dany or Sansa in a ship, I am clearly one or the other.
I cannot tell you how silly it is to have "Anti Jonsa, Anti Jonerys, Anti Jonrya, Anti Jongritte" in my bio, and every single one of my anti jonerys posts gets passed around as pro jonsa evidence or my anti jonsa posts gets passed around as pro jonerys evidence.
It is a subset of this fandom I hate because it has shown how impossible it is to discuss Jon as a complete individual character outside of romantic ships and it is exhausting.
It is a very persistent problem. I don't care who personally ships these things, but the fandom has made it's mark by declaring that either your with them or your their enemy and any disagreeing opinions are seen as attacks instead of discussion of media I enjoy.
People can like Dany and Jonerys, or Sansa and Jonsa, but it is the persistent screaming that opinions like mine are being unfairly hateful or delusional that piss me off. I'd rather not have such negative opinions about certain shippers, but it is the angry mob mentality they have that make me so against it.
I want to just discuss Jon as a character on his own, they only want to discuss Jon as a side companion romantic interest to their favourite female character. And I get blocked for speaking against their sacred cow, whereas I go looking through their blogs just to see what their side says so I can make a fair argument to their points when engaging in critical discussion on my own personal posts.
Me and them are not the same.
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