Out of all the things for TERFS to go after, is the fact that I'm an evolutionary biologist. It's fucking bizarre.
I have my degree in evolutionary biology. I've been interested in the sciences since I was young. I was a part (and still am a part) of the Audubon Society, Herpetology Society, Science Olympiad and regular volunteer at our state-run science museum. I wanted to be a paleontologist for most of my life and that shifted to ornithologist in high school. I narrowed that in on my own in uni to birds and their relatives along with snakes (because I love snakes).
I took anthropology, archaeology, chemistry, and other classes as part of my degree and out of my own curiosity. My anthropology class is most noticeable. I think it would be fair to say I would have been considered a TERF or close to one in high school. This one class though forced me to look all those beliefs I had in the face.
That anthropology class is where I first learned about gender and class as social constructs. And where I got the first inkling I might not be cis. It forced me to look at cultures outside of what I know.
Then my biology classes forced me to look at how complex, and definitely not binary, sex is. How strange it can be. The many ways nature plays with it. Categories are something that humans made up to try to understand the world. They are breakable, bendable and always always holds exceptions.
And my archaeology classes? Let me just say this. Humans are fucking weird. We're weird. Our evolution is weird.
Altogether though, the more I learned and from reputable sources, the more I learned that TERF ideology is not just wrong, but that it isn't a reasonable viewpoint. It doesn't help us understand our world better. It is not the most predictive value. At all.
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mspecs coming together to defend mspec lesbians/gays and lesboys/gaygirls is just a really wholesome thing i am rlly proud of this family :)
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one of the hardest things about exclusionism being so widespread around the internet is that there's so little opportunity for nuanced discussion of the aro &or ace experience that doesn’t involve either explaining my identity is a real thing or convincing someone that im not a secret homophobe trying to infiltrate the Lgbt Club or whatever
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My aesthetic is knowing queerphobes/exclusionists online don’t have any room in any irl queer spaces and that they’re basically powerless and no one takes them seriously when they’re actually in a social situation
My second aesthetic is knowing that irl queer spaces are so deeply loving and accepting of any and all well-meaning identities, no matter how obscure or niche it may be or seem, because they know and realize that humans are complex creatures who are ultimately trying to find the most comfortable labels to explain their existence in this life they were given, and that is something so beautiful and often unique to someone that it is something to be celebrated, loved, and supported - not blindly hated.
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reminder to all my lovely aces and aros out there, you're amazing and perfect just the way you are! don't let anyone tell you otherwise. aspec people are not broken or wrong, and we are lgbt! ☺️
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On Choosing How to Define Your Sexuality
Okay so there’s this post I just saw on my dash that basically says “people who are lesbian, gay, and bisexual don’t all experience attraction in the same way, and that’s okay” which is a 100% true statement. Some of the examples given of this involved experiences that could be categorized using terms such as aromantic/asexual, panromantic/pansexual, etc., which is also okay! Just because the way you experience attraction happens to fit into a word people use doesn’t mean that you have to use that word if you don’t want to. It’s all about what you like/want/what feels comfortable to you.
But then I saw an add-on that was like “because people who are lesbian, gay, and bisexual don’t all experience attraction in the same way, people should stop ‘making up’ other words when they could just use one of those three words”. And that’s not okay. Remember what I said above about “just because the way you experience attraction happens to fit into a word people use doesn’t mean that you have to use that word if you don’t want to”? Well, that still applies, even if the word you don’t want to use happens to be lesbian, gay, or bisexual. These identities don’t get to have special treatment just because they’re the most well-known (and I’m saying this as a bisexual person).
Now, here are some reasons why people might not want to use a particular word to describe their attraction, even if it would technically work for them:
It implies that they are a specific gender and they don’t want that particular gender implication (or any gender implication at all)
It doesn’t imply that they are a certain gender, when they feel that their gender is really important in their attraction
It’s a very well-known word, meaning that people will have well-formed ideas and stereotypes about that word that the person might want to avoid
It’s not a very well-known word, meaning that they will have to continually explain what it means almost every time they use it
Someone has used that word against them/to bully them/to harass them
Someone has used a different word to support/uplift them
They don’t like/aren’t associated with the community who coined the word or who are currently associated with the word (yes, this is perfectly fine reasoning, as long as you’re not like harassing people or something)
They like/are associated with a different community that uses different terms for attraction
They haven’t fully accepted themselves yet as having that identity (which might not always indicate that they have some sort of internalized homophobia/biphobia/acephobia, etc.)
They want to be able to connect with a large community of people who all use that word, even if the nuances of their attraction aren’t exactly the same
They want to connect specifically with people whose attraction follows the same nuances as theirs
They already have another word that describes a different part of their attraction and don’t want to use a lot of words to describe themself
They don’t want to use any terms to describe their attraction
... and more!
All of these are 100% valid
In summary: use a common word, make up your own word, both are 100% fine and are not hurting anyone. The only thing that’s hurting other people is telling them which words they can/cannot use or denying people the support of the LGBT+ community (which one person can’t easily deny anyways, so...) based on the words they use, because different people have different needs because it’s like we’re all individuals or something.
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Okay but imagine if I said the same thing about lesbians that is often said about ace people, exclusionists would lose their shit
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Some gatekeeper's mom somewhere: *On the verge of tears* Honey, PLEASE. I've checked eight times. There are NO cishet aces hiding under your bed. Can you let your father and I go back to bed now?
Gatekeeper: ...But were there trenders?
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...you know? maybe there wouldn’t be ace discourse in the first place if we ALL just, like. collectively accepted that sexual attraction =/= sex drive/the desire to do it
like, I see so many people arguing that demisexual shouldn’t be a thing because “””that’s just normal people lol,””” but like. no? not actually wanting to do the deed isn’t the same thing as not being into someone? like yeah buddy, I usually don’t wanna really screw someone until I get to know em a little better either, but that does NOT necessarily mean I’m not looking at em and thinking “man, if I knew you a little better, I would absolutely tap that.” therefore I do not ID as demisexual! ever thought maybe demisexuals don’t fucking operate like that? ever thought of actually asking one, instead of jumping right into “lol cringe @ this speshul snoflake”?
(and hell, even if that’s what they DID mean when they call themselves demi, like...okay? labels are entirely up to the person to decide? how about we stop being freaks about what a person calls themself? how about we stop being weird about people’s sex lives because we care too much about cultivating a “””pure””” community where no asexies will “””take our resources””” or whatever the hell imaginary thing exclusionists get their drawers in a twist over?)
anyway just stop being stupid pls
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Aren’t you tired of being nice? Don’t you just want to say exclusionists don’t deserve rights?
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how trendercore, trenderwave, trendersoft, etc, and recent events have changed me
now, for context, i was going on for about a year and a half of being a transmed, and i’ve recently(about 3 months ago), before all this, abandoned and deleted my transmed blog. ive also very recently(about 3 days ago) blocked all of the transmeds that came from my discourse blog over to this one.
i used to have very, very bad dysphoria. i don’t have it as bad as of now, but i still plan to go on T at the very least. this whole transmed stuff made that even worse, to be honest. it also turned me into a bad person at the time. very hateful, very angry, very much suffering because of my beliefs. and ultimately, i left because i noticed the change and couldn't handle it anymore. it wasn't me, and i knew that. note that i never, ever harassed anyone at all. not even on anon, i just kind of made posts and didn't really talk to anyone.
a little while back, i encountered a person in my witch discord group named roswell. he was very sweet and very nice, and i went into his debates with an open mind. we were talking about trendercore, and then it delved into him telling me about tucute beliefs. i told him the reason i got invovled in the first place with the transmed ideology is because i saw tucutes in the transmed and tucute tags, crosstagging as well, saying things like "you can just choose to be trans!" "you don't need dysphoria!" "anyone can be trans!", etc. basically saying that being trans was a choice and whatnot. he informed me that it's not like that now, and that it was a long time ago when that stuff was going on. he explained to me the whole gender incongruence thing and how it doesn't intertwine with dysphoria, and how those two things are not the same, but can live alongside each other. that was the kicker to me being more inclined to be in the middle. as the days went on, i looked through the trendercore, trendersoft, and trenderwave tags. they were full of neopronouns, neogenders, and all in-between. it really opened my eyes to how you can enjoy being trans, without having dysphoria. it made me research INTO neopronouns and neogenders, and i figured out that they've been around for a long time, even before tumblr was created. there were these people without the vocab to describe it, but they WERE describing it with the vocab they had, even if it was confusing. i read that those people were outcasted, and very oppressed in society.
the tags made me feel comforted, and the tags made me feel safe, as well. they opened my eyes further, and i really thank people for making these things. they encouraged me to get my undercut, which soon i plan to dye pink and blue. i noticed that while transmeds may seem like they are nice and sweet, they're really not. though, i think it can be said for both sides, as there are some bad apples in the tucute category, transmeds moreso though. i realized i got involved with the wrong people, especially at a time where my problems were at an all time high, including my dysphoria. i realized i wasn't like them, and there needed to be some sort of change.
i used to be of the belief that science is science, and that the brain scans were real,, but now that i realize you can’t really gender a brain, you can’t gender an internal organ,, and i look back now and see how flawed it actually is, because i researched into it more, and there were studies to prove those studies wrong. there were actual scientists coming forth with the proof that you don't need to have dysphoria to be trans, and it was a huge thing to me.
though, the climax of this change in me was 2 videos on youtube by nicholas black, the first one accompanied by his non-binary friend, eli. it’s a good watch, and i encourage people to watch them. here are the links:
first video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-Q0vu855hk&t=0s
second video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RV8Yxb1D7V4&t=0s
and last but not least, i want to thank roswell, the people who made the trender aesthetic tags, the people who participated in them, the scientists with the proof, nicholas black, and eli. you all are so great, and i really believe there is going to be lots of change in the coming years, especially in regards to inclusion, neopronoun/neogender acceptance, and transmedicalist beliefs dying out. i cant express how happy i am to be out of those beliefs, because i do believe it's made me a better person all around. once again, i thank you. thank you. ♡♡♡
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Let’s be real if you find yourself agreeing with an exclusionist you probably need to reexamine yourself a bit
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if mspec lesbians bad why is does the word lesbian come from sappho of lesbos who was demonstrably an mspec woman
history will make clowns of exclusionists until y'all learn your lesson
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It's like they're trying to collect every level of asswad on the way down.
Fair warning that using racial oppression analogies for LGBT discourse of any kind is white supremacist and racist. They are two separate axes. Being oppressed as queer folks does not grant you the grief of the colonized. You do not get to leverage it against sexual orientations and genders, not even cis hets. ESPECIALLY NOT TRANS PEOPLE OF COLOUR WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.
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so I’ve been looking at my new followers, to see if they post things I enjoy and get a little more variety on my dash. what I found instead are exclusionists, people who think ace people should not be included in the LGBTQIA+ label. Listen to me. If you are an exclusionist, I want you to gtfo. Unfollow me, because I most certainly already blocked you. Don’t interact with me, don’t talk to me, forget you ever knew about me. As Denice Frohman said: You’re right, we don’t have the same values. Go away. I’m dead serious. And even though I didn’t find that amongst my followers, if you’re a terf, or someone who conviniently decided to ignore that lgbtqia poc are the foundation of everything you enjoy as a community, if you internalized racism so deep you refuse to see how poc can have different experiences with the lgbtqia community than you do, you’re not welcome here either. Get out.
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So exclusionists really out here saying aces are literally just Amazon mooks for the sole reason that they make money selling books on Amazon because they can’t secure a normal job.
Please, I beg every single one of you, stop smoking whatever pot you’re smoking and go outside, go to an actual GSA/SAGA, get to know actual real-life LGBT+ people, anything but concoct these conspiracy theories on Tumblr just to discredit an entire minority orientation. And stop sending racist anon hate to @fuckyeahasexual as well? In fact, just fucking stop in general.
AND BEFORE YOU DEMONS EVEN TRY IT, I’M AN ALLOSEXUAL GAY NONBINARY PERSON, SO YOU BETTER NOT TALK ABOUT HOW I HATE “DA REEL ELL-GEE-BEE-TEE(-PEE-ENN)S”.
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hey! if you’re exclusionists, “gender critical” or “ace-critical”, unfollow me! block my ass! I don’t want you motherfuckers anywhere near me! get your shitty bigotry away from me and my blog! fuck off! I mean it!
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“What’s your stance on aces in the lgbt+ community”
“Aces aren’t inherently LGBT+” = person is obviously exclus
“I’m neutral on ace discourse/I don’t pay attention to it so I can’t answer” = person is exclus and is too afraid of the backlash of admitting it. There is no such thing as a “neutral” stance. Either you think all asexuals are LGBT+, or you don’t. It’s 100% an “either yes or no” issue.
“I refuse to allow or answer any ace discourse on this blog/ please I’m so tired of ace discourse” / person avoids answering the question at all costs = They’re exclus again, and are avoiding answering due to not wanting any backlash or losing followers
Anyway, an inclusionist wouldn’t be afraid to openly say they think aces are LGBT+ . Anyone who answers that question with anything other than a “yes they are” probably is an exclusionist.
When you support someone, it shouldn’t be hard to admit to it. It really isn’t a hard question it’s a simple “yes or no” and people who can’t even do so much as answer a simple yes or no question for us are probably assholes who aren’t on our side.
I keep seeing people reblogging from people who refuse to give their opinion on it or say they are “neutral”, that turn out to be shitty people who make fun of us, so I’m just pointing this out cuz it needs to end.
Non a-specs can reblog but don’t add anything
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Dykes against exclusionists!
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