I just want to die..
It’s to bad that you folded so easy, Why’d you say forever if the option was to leave me?
this looks like what anxiety feels like
Storm clouds in my mind
I’m told that there are people who care for me as if that isn’t the problem. They don’t realize that I don’t deserve to be cared for, but now I’m sitting here as a burden because of it.
I did it anyway.
I just chewed and spit for the first time and now I feel disgusting
Hey y'all I’m just looking to make new friends 😇 I’m new to tumblr and I love the community so much. Instagram is so fake I can’t even explain
May 30th, 2020
Damn, the summer shred challenges are really intense. They’re HIIT workouts so I’m seeing a lot more progress. I went hard on the workout last night cuz I ordered a pair of pants online yesterday and everyone in the reviews said they ran a little small so it motivated me to push through the pain 😤 gotta fit into them when they arrive!
Also here’s a pic I took yesterday evening. I feel like I actually look decent, which is a rare feeling for me lol
My anxiety when i open tumblr to see ‘unable to authorise’ is through the ROOOOOF
barely anybody knows that I am struggling to cope and it shows
it’s gotten so bad idk what to do
i have no smile.
i have no sense of humor.
i have no appetite.
i have no memory.
i have no imagination.
i have nobody.
i have nothing.
That moment when you dissociate in public and don’t get anything anymore. I found myself standing on the side of the road several times without moving. It took me a few minutes to realize that there were no cars or traffic lights at all. I just stood there staring somewhere in the middle of nowhere.
I appreciate everyone who dissociates in public and still has the courage to go outside and endure confused looks from strangers.
I haven’t been on my tumblr for about a month and when I open a post to see it has 439 notes I am simultaneously feeling loved and horrible. I hope that my words were not mistaken as a guide because seeing the -deactivated###### broke my heart. A small part of me is hoping they became dedicated to recovery and getting better but being realistic about the community I am in leads me to believe that me saying “this is the time” was someone’s motivation.
so if you need me I’m going to go feel responsible for a death I don’t even know was died.
my head is underwater, i’m drowning, i wish i had sleeping pills or anything else to numb my pain , god please help me