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#anxious

last year i remember i used to miss my friends so much. i used to miss how i’d spend hours talking and laughing with them about silly stuff, but not anymore. now i feel like i’ve grown attached to my loneliness and i don’t want to ever let it go.

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“your skin isn’t paper, don’t cut it”

“your neck isn’t a coat, don’t hang it”

“your size isn’t a book,  don’t judge it ”

“your life isn’t a film, don’t end it”

"your heart isn’t invisible, don’t lose it”

“your face isn’t a mask, don’t hide it”

“You’re head isn’t a target, don’t shoot it”

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“Who You Are Is Capable Of Anything You Desire.”

No one can limit where you can direct your thought. There are no limits to your joyous journeys to experience.
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On the path to your happiness you will discover all that you want to be or do, or have.

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you know you really wanna have a therapy session but your next appointment isn’t for like another 10 years except it’s not ACTUALLY 10 years and you’re just exaggerating because you’re just annoyed that you can’t see your therapist and now you really wanna unpack why you exaggerate when you’re annoyed but your next appointment isn’t for aNOTHER 10 YEARS???

bc same

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So.. This evening I’ve been hospitalized to the nearest psychiatric hospital. Volunteerly.

Today, my suicudal thoughts and plans got more intensive. I feel okay being here, because I don’t trust myself, as I told the doctors. I don’t want to exist

I reached out and told my contact person and told her about it. We talked, and we agreed she could call my parents and ask if they would drive me to the psych ward, which they did. She asked me whether my mom was tipsy/drunk, but I didn’t want to look them in the eyes. I then did in the car, and my mom spelled of beer.

The thing is, I’m in treatment for alcohol addiction, and is on antabuse. So the fact that my mom was tipsy and ssmelled of beer got me even more frustrated. And she said that whether or not I get admitted, I should come and live at their house for a while. I’m not fond of that since they taught me to drink and still do..

But..

For now, I’m ok being in the hospital. My mind is fucked tho!!!!

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I don’t have anybody to talk about mental illness it’s so hard to me I don’t want to scare my dad and my boyfriend I can’t scare my dad anymore with my illness he don’t deserve it again and my man don’t deserve it too I feel so hopeless. I’m so such a big failure. Please talk to me I really need it. I’m sick but I always try to help everybody but I can’t help myself it’s so hard

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I miss my body so much and my weight.😭Here I weight 39,9kg I was happy with my body but still want to lose weight. I think when I start losing my weight I start to be addicted to it. It’s like drug once you start because you like it and then when you use it everyday and you can’t stop and want some more and more..👤

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Originally posted by theonlyliar

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Originally posted by striveforskinnyy

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Originally posted by pennym00

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fuji09Text

I HATE packing. Like my anxious brain just can’t focus and I have to do a million different things to get it done

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Walking down the road to my godchild’s bus stop; I have my black hoodie up with headphones in my ears. The song I chose was ‘Take the Bullets Away’ by We as Human ft Lacey Sturm. I keep my head down and slightly bob it to the beat as a mouth the words “am I worthless am I filthy am I too far gone for remedy?”

Boy did that feel like something out of a movie and boy is that how I’m feeling.

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I’m so fucking close to killing myself and nobody even notices. Like, can’t you see that I’m suffering? Can’t you see that I need help? I haven’t been myself for months and no one can tell. What’s the point of being here anyway?

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