#anyone want to know my secret gay blog i started???

[haunted-headset]

ASK TIME ASK TIME!! i am officially raiding your asks now, take this as a threat /j

mkay sooooo, thoughts on lovejoy member!reader x wilbur?? 🤭 you could write about their sweet loveydovey moments and the way they blow kisses to each other on stage, or maybe their relationship is secret so focus on all the little things they do to show affection without the fans (and maybe friends too) knowing they’re together? like holding hands under tables, the lil glances they give each other, aaaah!!

apologies if you’ve written smth similar already, my memory is failing me rn, but if u have then do not worry because ill be back asking for other random shit too LMAO <3

🎸 Lovejoymember!reader x Wilbur HCs🎸

a/n: yoooo this is a really cool idea :D

tags: @vibestillaxxx@joviepog@ax-y10@themonsterunderurmom @wilburstan@smolsleepykitten@funnyreally2009@crows-death@dykepunz@aresriiots@0miamor0@defonotval@chipch0p@mazzistar16@unmellowyellowfellow@justalittlebitofchaos@thosecolorfulsheets@vopix@taylors-version-from-the-vault@aine-lasagna@merianakross@veeislost@urfav-sapphic-siren@shazbaz58-blog @wifiatthetrainstation@mcr-pr-fob@shd454@rqvii@idioticion@m0thza @zuuriell @somebody-v @goosebeing@ogelizasoot @lexx-the-gay-rubber-ducky @r0ckstardr3amgal

contains: loads of fluff, petnames, a single ass slap, & cheesiness

This man is CONSTANTLY flirting with you on stage. We're talking ass pats, blowing kisses, quick pecks between lyrics, etc. He finds it funny whenever the crowd screams & cheers when you two flirt.

When you two first started dating, you both didn't want to tell anyone, so you couldn't be affectionate around each other. Or so you thought. He'd hold your hand under tables, make sure you two were sharing a hotel room &/or bed, kiss the back of your hand when nobody's looking, give you hugs, tickle you (we all know he would tickle you. he did it to Mark, why not you?), etc.

If you were a drum player, he'd randomly rest his chin on your head if you were sitting down to play

During studio time, he's hugging you from behind & being suuuuuper cuddly (while grossing out the other members in the process)

During concerts, he's randomly making suggestive, cheesy, or flirty jokes to you to make the crowd laugh.

^^ "Hey, Y/N?" Wilbur said to you into the mic, looking in your direction. "Yeah?" you replied, trying to catch your breath from the last song. "What's up?" "I have a really important question for you," he said. "The crowd would really love to hear this from you." "What is it?" you replied. "Everybody's been wondering what you do for a living besides being sexy," he grins. This causes you to turn beet red & the crowd, the rest of the band, & Wilbur begin to laugh.

If you were a good singer, he'd beg on his hands & knees ask you to do duets or backing solos in new songs

If you were artsy, he'd also beg on his hands & knees ask you to help design the merch

If the band had to get on a plane or train to get to the next concert location, he'd be SO CUDDLY!!! He'd lay his head in your lap or vice versa, he'd hold your hand, he'd share an earbud with you, he'd let you watch him play The Sims on his laptop, he'd lean his head on your shoulder or vice versa, etc.

When the band goes out to eat or just goes out in general, he's paying for & doing EVERYTHING for you. You got something to eat? Don't even lay a finger on your wallet. You're in a store & you mention being hungry? He's grabbing every single snack & drink that you like. You shiver slightly? He's taking off his jumper or hoodie & giving it to you, no questions asked. You mention your legs hurting? You're being carried, either piggyback, on his shoulders, or bridal style.

#wilbur soot #wilbursoot #wilbur #lovejoy wilbur #wilbur soot imagine #fanfic #wilbur soot fluff #wilbur soot fanfiction #wilbur soot fic #wilbur soot headcanons #wilbur soot x reader #wilbur soot x reader fluff #wilbur soot x y/n #wilbur soot x you #wilbur headcanons #wilbur hc #wilbuh #wilbussy

[guywrestlingaddiction]

What Turned me Gay: The first BGeast match I purchased - Troy & Brian Baker v Vinny Trevino & Joshua Goodman (bgeast.com)

It's no secret that Bgeast turned me gay. The combination of hot men in compromising situations, muscles straining, humiliating holds; all summed up to ignite something inside of me.  Now while all of that is worth a post in itself, I wanted to devote this time to rekindle a memory specifically about the first Bgeast match I watched, Tag Team Torture 3.  

What turned me gay (not really) ... 

Troy & Brian Baker v Vinny Trevino & Joshua Goodman (bgeast.com)

This post, inspired by the sidelineland.com blog, takes a tongue and cheek look into "what made me gay (not really)" and in thinking about the topic of gay wrestling, it's helpful to go back to the beginning - at least my beginning as a gay wrestling fan.

The Background Now, when I first viewed Tag Team Torture 3, I had no idea what to expect.  Sure I had watched porn before, but the default for porn back then (and now) was a cheesy few minutes of story line followed by emotionless hard core action.  In those scenes the guys refused eye contact with each other, closed their eyes, and probably thought of their girlfriends or something while they did the deed so in a very big way, bgeast was different.  

Baker and Baker - two reasons why I purchased this match.  Beefier Brian and Tasty Troy. 

In hindsight, I love the Backstreet Boy Look on Mr. Joshua.  This was a very popular look back then - Highlights and a Soul Patch.

And boy was Tag Team Torture 3 different, from the opening scene I realized that the focus was on the wrestling and everything, from the guys lifting weights, to the trash talk; all of this led up to struggle between men.  

Troy and Brian bonding before the match.  They build each other up saying stuff in the tone of 'you're the best, no you're the best'.  They support and encourage each other ... at least for now. 

Compare that to the other team, bragging about how much they can bench or talking shit about their opponents the "beach boys".  There's no building anyone up here, simply tearing the pretty boys down.  

In lieu of porn which hurried to climax and rushed to "get the job done", gay wrestling highlighted the emotions exchanged between our guys and what is sex really except a bundle of intense emotions.  

The Action Finally, 20 minutes in the guys start to wrestle.  I told you that gay wrestling takes it's time and slowly savors each and every popping bicep and ab and now we have the Troy Baker reveal and boy was it worth the wait...

Troy knows what we're all here for. 

And later, Troy swooning over himself.  The man and I are on the same wave length when it comes to admiring that body. 

But all that muscle just begs to be abused. 

Brian Baker is the powerhouse but he can't fight off two men by himself and it's clear that Troy is more interested in himself than on the match.  

Mr. Joshua multitasking by dominating and making his infamous "adjustment".  I love how the back of his hand goes straight from his package to smacking Brian on the back of his head.

Brian: [exasperated]: Lookout Troy!

Vinny: You like that surfer boy?  Troy: *Moan*

The Finale At this point our heroes are done for.  All that camaraderie, the hours at the gym spent sculpting those muscles, all of that vanishes and we are left with a beaten Troy Baker.  

To further the point, our heels double team the helpless Troy while his brother watches on.  Further emphasizing that there is no coming back from this one.  

Troy's abs of steel are put to the test with yet another barrage of abuse.  That golden tan is starting to turn a shade of pink as even those abs of steel have their limits.  

But the real crescendo for this match comes at the end.  When Brian seems to triumph despite the odds and an upset looks possible, that is until a weakened Troy folds under our heels.  It's that moment followed by a betrayal when our gay wrestling saga is complete and the Baker Brothers are finally broken with sound and fury. 

In hindsight it's obvious to see why gay wrestling sucked me in and became my obsession.  I've always loved the emotional highs when I wrestled in high school and bgeast perfectly captured those stories of struggle and dominance multiplied by like 1,000.   You see this story, told through sweat and humiliation is so vivid, so real, that the feelings I get now from watching a 20 year old tag team match are the same as when I first saw them and  is undoubtedly what turned me gay (not really).

#gay wrestling #bgeast.com #Troy Baker #Brian Baker #Vinny Trevino #Joshua Goodman

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

I can’t BELIEVE for the nights and days of life is over, I was starting to think that novel would last forever.

I hope you all are ready for the fact that it’s not over here on my blog, as my 5-5 ass is not done with it yet. In that respect, here are the chapter ten notes. No spoilers in the comments for me and any people who haven’t read yet, or are for some godforsaken reason, reading along with me.

And @mochalottie u are a queen and my favorite, I’m so sorry for taking so so long to read your work and being so bad at responding to your dms, I’m at the stage in adulting where every text from anyone seems like a monumental task lol. I’m trying to manage time better and respond better. It doesn’t help that I work in a high school so it blocks tumblr!!

Onto the for the nights and days of life chapter 10 notes! Happy Halloween all!

-The way I feel like my own children are growing up too fast when I hear that Spider and Neteyam aren’t sitting with Mo’at in the infirmary much anymore. 

-Ur fighting my Jake and Mo’at spend an insane amount of time gossiping headcanon. Ur simply spitting on it. Just think about it, just pICTURE it. Mo’at’s grinding up a paste and Jake sneaks in like “…Have your heard about what happened with Moe and Ninat?” and Mo’at goes “JAKE SULI I would never talk behind someone’s back. Tell me everything.”

-Hey, Neytiri being like unable to acknowledge Paz as Spider’s mom? Banger. It really gets to me. She’s like well fuck off that’s my kid all while doubting herself. But Mo’at's right baby Spider was Neytiri’s number one fan from day one, he was literally always a momma’s boy.

-Also because you mentioned the kids taking an afternoon nap, I wanted to take a moment to just highlight how hellish that year or so where Neteyam, Kiri, and Spider were done with naps and Lo’ak still needed them was. You know his ass threw the bIGGEST tantrum every time it was time for a nap and everyone else was still playing. He was enRAGED because no one has fomo like Lo’ak. The kid was feral, crying overtired tears simply insisting that he is absolutely not tired and does nOT NEED A NAP.

-Spider being in the sleeping pile is one of the things that makes my heart grow three sizes every time I read about it. But you made it 20 times worse by adding in that by himself he spreads out for safety but he feels safe in the pile, like I’ll kill myself.

-I literally can prove Spider always asks for banana fruit and I’m starting to become convinced it’s the only fruit he knows.

-Lol Norm and Max sitting on Earth absolutley fIGHTING over who has to tell Jake things are going BadTM. 

-Lol I just literally kNEW that Neteyam wanted to make Spider a present, and yet instead his gift to him was even more of a complex. 

-YOU CANNOT TEASE TARSEM LOVE STORY TO ME. ALSO I’M NOW ASSUMING HE’S GAY THAT SCENE READ GAY. 

-This is what both Jake and I thought of when Neytiri told him to keep his secrets:

SHE QUOTED THAT MOVIE ALMOST BAR FOR BAR MAN, IF I WAS JAKE THAT WOULD’VE SENT MEEEE. When I was younger I used to have to share a bed with my cousin on family vacations, and I’m telling you bitch is possessed. She sleep walks and sleep talks, and sleep assaults me in my sleep. But one time she fucking quoted The Princess Bride and the next morning when I told her I loved that movie, she told me she’s never seen it. I have never felt more fear for my life. Picture Jake struggling to explain the plot of Lord of the Rings, his ass has seen it, his twin was a nerd. 

-Jake as soon as his child needs comfort: Oh fuck, I’M the only one here!

-Spider, like 7: I won’t be able to mate dad. Jake: I have to go. I’m not ready for this.

-HUMANS ARE BACK, time for things to get a little fucking sad. I know I’m ALMOST twenty chapters behind and you guys are already in it, but I’m just getting started baybeeee.

-Also I love Spider calling his parents Ma and Da, your Irishness has crept in.

#the spookiest thing of all is me posting notes #miles spider socorro #spider socorro #spider sully #neteyam sully #mo'at sully #jake sully #neytiri sully #paz socorro #kiri sully #lo'ak sully #norm spellman #max patel #tarsem #fic recs #melissa does notes #melissa og #melissa on avatar (cameron) #fanfiction

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi! I love your blog and your recs are fantastic! I've read so many awesome stories that I might never have found without your recs.

I was hoping to get help finding a fic I loved. Sherlock had disassociative identity disorder, and John learned about this and got to meet his alters.

Sherlock kept it secret at first. But after John found out (I think during a thunder storm and whoever was fronting was scared?), John got to know everyone. One of the alters was a young girl, and I remember she snuck around at night once and looked at a sleeping John. I'm pretty sure she was grabbing a cookie from the kitchen. John played Guess Who with her at some point later on to get to know her. She really liked and wanted to play games. I think there was an alter named Sneak, but I'm not entirely sure. Im fairly certain that one of them played the guitar, and went out and got one.

The alters were able to talk to each other. I think I remember them arguing over whether or not they could trust John about them being a system near the start.

I think later in the story, there was some sort of conflict that resulted in Sherlock planning to run away from John. Maybe they killed someone? I'm not very sure about the context. The young girl alter didn't want to leave.

I mainly read on ao3, so that's probably where it is, but I can't find it in my bookmarks! So it might be on fanfiction.net. I really wanna find it again. Thank you in advance!

Hi Lovely!!

Thank you so much for your kind words! I am so happy that you enjoy your time here and make my blog a part of your day!!

OKAY so I LITERALLY just recently read a fic with a plot VERY similar to this, with all the details very similar as well, but it was JOHN who had DID and Sherlock was the one that met all the altars. It was very good, and I'm wondering if it's the same one you read, just mis-remembering who the lead character was? Here it is:

Fade To Black by twistedthicket1 (M, 93,389 w., 29 Ch. || Dissociative Identity Disorder, Action, Romance, Violence, Implied Rape/Non-Con, BAMF John, Fluff and Angst, Baskerville, Human Experimentation, PTSD, Implied Self Harm, Trauma Amnesia, Past Child Sexual Abuse, Protective Sherlock, Smoking, Meddling Mycroft, Past Victor/Sherlock, Gay Sherlock, Sherlock’s Past, First Kiss/Time, Happy Ending) – John Watson believes one day he'll just fade. That he'll drown in the black spaces of his mind, and that one day he will no longer exist. It's always been like this, the dark spots marking out moments in his life he can't remember. Where for just a moment he's someone else. Having a Dissociative identity disorder, he can't even be entirely sure he's really who he says he is. Then he meets Sherlock Holmes. A brilliant detective who when he looks at you can read your entire life story. John is immediately fascinated and afraid, half-wondering if maybe Sherlock can see the other personalities in him and half terrified of the thought of him finding out. Becoming his flatmate seems at once to be a wonderful and horrible idea. Yet as John's Blackouts become more and more severe and his other personalities begin to truly awaken and show themselves with Sherlock's help, the two soon discover that sometimes even the kindest person can harbour a demon best left untouched inside of them. Because not all of John's other personalities play nicely and some may be hiding secrets best left undisturbed...

=====

I'm PRETTY sure this is the fic you're looking for, because all the details seem the same as the ones in the fic you're looking for!

If anyone knows if there's another, please let us know!!

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #found fics #my fic recs #medical fics #did fics

[fluffybutt-7]

Hey fluff do you have advice on dating when having a um preferance like this? Im really bad at getting to know new people and im horrid at small talk unless it is something I am interested in. I tried grommr but had the experience of people wanting hook ups and or i would just get cold feet. Im almost 30 now and I realize how short life is and how much i want to at least try out being a feeder/mutal gainer with somebody, but its hard to get somewhere due to being in a bad location and not feeling really connected/ having friends in the gainer/encourgement space. It being kind of "taboo" to most people also kind of stresses me out. How did you get over your fear of being a gainer etc?

Hey there!

Sooo I’ve been trying to think of how to answer this. I think I’ll do it in two parts, one about dating and one in general.

When it comes to dating, I feel that it’s best to just be upfront about it IF it is something you feel safe doing. Wild things can happen, you never really know who you’re talking to when just meeting someone. So there’s a lot of nuance to the “just be upfront about it.” I often wait until I feel there could be a genuine chance with the person to bring it up (assuming they’re not part of the community), and even then I try to be careful with it. People can have all kinds of assumptions about this kink, so I always try to approach it while making the other person feel like they can ask questions about it and genuinely have a conversation about it. Sometimes I’ll kinda tease the idea before that point, it just depends on the vibe I’m getting from the person. But a well placed and ethical feedist comment can sometimes give insight into how the person would feel or possibly already feels about the kink. And honestly? More people are into it or at least open to it than I would expect. Be safe, and be clear in your communication when you feel that it is time to tell them. That’s how I approach it at least, I am certainly not the end-all-be-all and if anyone has something they would like to add, leave a comment so we can all learn how to navigate dating with this fetish/kink better. 🥰

Now - how did I get over my fear of being a gainer? That’s a pretty solid question. The answer I have may not be wholly relatable, but it’s the one that I think will convey my feelings best. I think it’s similar to when I came out as gay. I grew up in a verrry small, verrry conservative Midwest town, and I was the only out gay kid in my high school when I came out. It was fucking terrifying, but for once……. I was me. And holy FUCK I was happy. I felt untouchable, because at last there were no more secrets, no reason to hide. It didn’t matter if someone said shit, because I knew who the fuck I was and I knew I fought for my own happiness. I also knew that the people who really loved and cared for me would have my back, and they did. Well, most of them. But I guess those were the ones who didn’t really care, weren’t they? At the end of the day, we deserve to fight for our own happiness, whatever it is (as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else or yourself, etc. I don’t wanna miss the nuance to that statement), and the people in our life who are really our people, the ones who will love us and accept us and celebrate us, will support us (see above parentheses) and have our back.

I also very much understand the struggle of being in a bad location and not feeling connected - I think maybe that’s one of the reasons I made this blog, so that those of us who feel isolated in this community can start to feel like… a community. You can certainly count me as a friend. ☺️ I hope somehow this helped, and I apologize for rambling a bit lmao. Feel free to message anytime! I may not respond right away but I always try to respond to my messages here. Hope you have a good night. :)

#fluffybutt-7 #fluffstuff #askthefluff #gay gainer #male weight gain

[morislucidstories]

In your pinned post, I'm curious to know what's going on with the bat dragon person and who might be you holding your cat? Poking around the blog hasn't gotten me answers. Or maybe answers are there and I'm just hungry and tired.

I had this whole thing written with pics on my phone, and then the wifi flaked and the whole things became lost into tumblr's void when I hit post, so this is the 2nd version. ;-; But this version has more images so it's objectively better.

That's not me in the image. That's Lily Mills, the main character of one of my original comics I post on Tapas and Webtoons Canvas. Pine Barrens Super Natural is based on the legends I grew up hearing from my family about the New Jersey Pine Barrens/Pinelands, and shojo romance comics. Lily is a mix of me and my sibling from when we were young -that's why she looks like me (and Lyly if you know what they look like from MtW.)

The series blurb & summary of Ch 1&2: Lily Mills and her dad, Don Mills, have just moved into the Pine Barrens of New Jersey. On their first night there, Lily is attacked by monsters that should only exist in legends. Luckily, another super natural monster also rescues her. There's definitely some connection to the super natural hidden in Lily's past, and it's going to a lot harder for it to stay hidden now that she finds herself surrounded by all sorts of Super Natural things.

Here is the full version of the cover with the logo:

This comic is actually a reboot of the original comic I started when I was 15-16 in my Sophomore year of Highschool. (It was made on notebook paper.) When I started it I didn't really have a plan for where it was going until around chapters 15-20, so this reboot is taking a lot of loose ends and either cutting them out or adapting them to work with the plot. It's taking me so long to make because I'm struggling with burnout, and I'm now past most of the mental issues I was using it to process so sometimes working on it puts be make into that worst head space. With Lyly's help as my editor we have rewritten and redesigned the parts that cause me problems so once I get back into it, I should be fine.

The little kitty thing is Mascot. He normally appears at the bottom chapters with the credits, in the cover images, and sometimes pops up in chapters with author's notes and comments.

((If anyone wants to head canon any of my characters as neurotypical just know that it is head canon and not supported by anything in the plot -or me))

Below this point are more character descriptions, but just know that most involve spoilers for things that happen after Ch2. I didn't spoil the biggest things just a few things that lead up to them.

The devil catboy is Damian Leeds the son of the Jersey Devil (TJ) and a human (Nancy). I grew up hearing many different stories about the Jersey Devil with many different depictions so this version is a polymorph, and so is his son. Damian is able to change between human, Neko Mimi, and full furry forms. Lily does not know that the Kitty Devil that saved her is Damian. Damian gets a massive crush on Lily. He's very emotionally secure which makes him a great support as a friend, but he also struggle with recognizing that others won't respond to stress the same way he does.

Nancy Leeds works at the local Super Natural Animal Wildlife Reserve. She is also Don's new boss. SN stuff is kept secret from the populace.

Even though Lily and Damian are the central 2 characters, the readers have pretty unanimously voted Erik as the fan favorite. They are a mix of many of the friends I had growing up. She is nonbinary and uses all pronouns. He is a huge nerd, lover of chaos and cringe. When not in the school building, Erik wears a beanie their brother made them that reads "I ♥️ Emo Boys." She's the heart of the group without question.

Alex is Erik's older brother. He is a huge anxiety gay, and introvert. He prefers letting others take center stage while he watches. This does mean he's prone to bottle things up. Luckily he's the type to go to his friends for help after isolating to process. He hasn't had many appearances yet, but what has been revealed is that he really likes fashion and sewing. He has also been weirdly touchy with Lily and even he doesn't know why. The most recent chapter and the next few will have him as a focus.

(Alex and Erik are half Italian, half Columbian American. This hasn't had an opportunity to be brought up in the story yet. I had a bunch friends that were Columbian. Their extended family and specifically their grandparents were very like my Italian grandparents. So I made these two a mix of those just like they are mixes of many friends I had growing up. Even though I've had these characters for half of my life, I have never been able to decide on a last name for them.)

The last of the friend group is Mike Sasha Keith Apple Gate. In the OG version I made in Highschool, I had 3 characters that all played the same role at different times throughout the story so I mixed them into 1 person and introduced him in the plot much sooner. He too hot to remain single and keeps ending up in unwanted romantic relationships. MSK has anger management problems while also completely failing at defending his own boundaries. He has a grudge against Damian and the why hasn't been revealed yet. He's author's favorite and you can tell because of how much effort I put into his outfits and hair. Lastly, it has been revealed that MSK can see Super Natural Energy. It is through his eyes that it's also revealed that Alex's behavior around Lily is cause by an energy around her.

((Since I've been making it slowly over many years you can easily see the evolution of my art through this comic))

#mori answered #pine barrens super natural #oc #original character #webcomic #pbsn spoilers

[circular-jerkular]

Introjects, Sex, and Gender

I'm gonna preface this with the understanding that I'm not a really well spoken guy, and I don't typically talk about this sorta thing. I just wanna get it off my chest, and I know we've got this blog to help others figure shit out too, so.

Hey there -- I'm an introject of a character from a book series, and today, I wanna talk about sex and gender and how that's a goddamn minefield of emotions.

For starters: my source is... okay, so he's not homophobic, let's give him more credit than that. He's fine with gay guys. He's just got some daddy issues, y'know? His dad is gay, and it took him a real long time to come to terms with his dad abandoning his family and career cause of everything.

I came into this system with a lot of that baggage, but suddenly, none of it was true. I was able to start figuring myself out. And myself was now a dude with tits, a vagina, and a libido the size of Texas.

Now, I don't have as much issues with the body as you might think. I look in the mirror and I go, "What a hot chick." That's cause I don't really see this as my body yet -- it's her body, it's the body. Not my body. I've been working on that, but it's hard. Regardless, I've definitely had fun experimenting with my body, even if it don't feel like mine.

What's been less fun has been discovering I'm bisexual, and maybe even some weird gender fuckery?

My partner is AFAB. It's nice, cause that aligns to what I know and, Ill be real, when I first came around, I just kinda saw them as Girl-Lite. I don't anymore, I get their gender now, but I didn't have to confront shit immediately when I met them. But we also have the resident horn dog, Curtis, and his husband, Numb. And, well, Numb instantly fell hard for me. I remind him of Curt a lot.

Issue being, I kinda liked Numb back. And Curtis is a great guy, and I couldn't say I wasn't interested.

Which made me fucking spiral. Hard.

Book-me never felt that way. Book-me never wanted to fuck another dude. SO why did I want to? What was wrong with me?

Secret was, nothing was wrong with me. I ain't him. I ain't from a book. I'm from a traumatized mind who saw this guy, this fantastic guy who could tackle everything, who learned to manage his anger and use it, to stay angry and be angry, and who gives a shit what others say -- that mind saw that guy and said we need him. And so I showed up, an approximation of a character.

Took me a real long time to come to terms with that.

To some degree, this is where source separation comes in. I had to acknowledge that I ain't book-me, and he isn't me. There's a lot of differences between us. I'm autistic, bisexual, and today I've even been real fucked up about gender and stuff. He's strong, sexy, and confident -- things I ain't been feeling lately.

Look, I know there's a lot I gotta learn (and I apologize if any of this is offensive). But it's been hard just getting this far. This far being, today I got fucked outta my mind by Curt, Numb, and my IRL partner, and god was it incredible. And I look back at where I started -- trying to push the other parts away cause ew, no, disgusting, that's not me-- and I realize how much of this ability to be who I am now is because of what I've now pushed aside and grown from.

At some point, y'all introjects out there gotta branch out. Maybe you do align to your source pretty closely, and I wish y'all the best of luck on that one, sounds pretty nice. But you don't get to decide that, not fully, till you start living as yourself. If I didn't let Numb and Curt in (and no, not sexually, but that too), I never woulda grown up a bit and been the guy I am. And the guy I am is gay and shit. Well, Bi, I still like girls, but you get the picture.

Not really sure where I"m going with this now, lol. I think I'll just leave that at that. If anyone relates, hell yeah, but if not, just leave it be as a personal thing I'm dealing with today.

#nsft #minors dni #keeping up with nerd shit

[moondal514]

I’ve been thinking about this ask from @theravenkin’s blog that talks about how AFTG is a fandom that likes to do random ass and hyperspecific niche au’s so naturally I thought I’d make a fic rec list of 5 of my faves:

Under A Sea of Mist by puddlejumper99/ @writingpuddle

For a thousand years the Lord Ruler has reigned over the Final Empire. Ash falls from the sky and strange mists shroud the night. The skaa labour in the fields and the nobility dance in their Keeps, their glittering lights blinding them to the cruelty in their hearts.

The skaa rebellion is a fantasy and Neil knows it. The Lord Ruler is immortal; there's no overthrowing him. It's as much a surprise to him as anyone else when he gets recruited. But as he gets drawn deeper into the plot, he starts to discover things that will change their understanding of magic forever.

There's always another secret.

Mistborn au. There‘s probably only like 4 people that love both of these fandoms like me, so reading this felt so self-indulgent, like it was ripped straight from high school me’s wildest dreams, and it just makes me clap my hands with joy like a child every time I think about the fact that this fic exists

Whispers in the leaves, shadows in the moonlit night by Silveriss/ @wulfrann

Monsters and ghouls of every age,

Wouldn't you like to see something strange?

Far beyond the graveyard and its renowned Spiral Hill, the Woods prevail. There are no animals to be found there, not one sign of life but for the shifting of the mist and gentle caress of the wind.

Neil has lived in Halloween Town for as long as he can remember, though memory is a fickle thing.

Since his mother, Mary Finkelstein, died two years ago, he hasn't been as good at following her orders as he used to be.

He's made friends. He's not sure how it happened, really - it feels like he just woke up one day with his life suddenly entangled with a whole group of people he hadn't noticed getting slowly closer.

He's also taken the habit of looking at the Woods.

There's something calling to him. He can hear them in the wind, the whispers in a hundred incoherent tongues.

They say crossing the threshold is always the most difficult part.

Nightmare Before Christmas au. Really gorgeous atmospheric writing and adds some v cool worldbuilding elements to the Nightmare Before Christmas universe

The Real Folk Blues by moonix/ @annawrites

Captain David Wymack and the bounty hunter crew of the Bebop spaceship might be a little out of their depths chasing down the infamous hacker and notorious runaway Neil Wesninski, whose bounty exceeds even Kevin's wildest dreams. Worst of all, Andrew might actually enjoy it.

Cowboy Bebop au. The Foxes are space cowboys, I think that’s all I need to say

I'd Never Want to Complicate Your Heart by jingerhead/ @jingerhead

Andrew glanced at the board and found his name at one of the pods of two rather than four (thank god), right next to the windows. Next to his name was ‘Neil Josten’, one Andrew didn’t recognize, but he had to be at least a sophomore to be in this class. Turning to find the right seats, Andrew found himself pausing as he walked, seeing the person he’d be sitting next to for the foreseeable future if Mr. Browning had his way.

And shit, this was either a good thing or a bad thing, because Andrew is very, very gay, and Neil was good looking enough to become a distraction very quickly.

~*~

Or, the Heartstopper AU nobody asked for but that I absolutely needed to write.

Heartstopper au. I called this fic Heartstopper for the asexuals in my bookmark notes and in my comment on it and I will stand by that until I die cuz some of Neil’s experiences with his sexual orientation in this fic echo my own so well I got chills

Andrew Minyard's Diary by fuzzballsheltiepants/ @fuzzballsheltiepants

Andrew is comfortable with his life. He helps edit bad books. He has his collection of people, an apartment, and a novel he will never finish writing. If only his cousin and best friend would stop trying to set him up with one Neil Josten.

Except...perhaps he wouldn't mind being set up with Neil after all.

In which Andrew is Bridget Jones, Kevin is Daniel Cleaver, and Neil is Mark Darcy. Except none of them are like their inspiration characters at all.

Inspired by @scribbleb_red, who said on Twitter "What if there was a Bridget Jones AU?" and when I said, "Yes please!" she handed me the reins. I hope this is even remotely what you were looking for.

Bridget Jones’s Diary au. Absolutely hilarious concept with just perfect character dynamics

#the effect of Nora’s strong character writing means you can throw the aftg characters into like any situation #and it’ll work #I hope to one day write my own hyperspecific niche aftg au that only I want to read #aftg #fic rec #fic rec list

[hellomynameisbisexual]

The 23rd September marks Bi Visibility Day. I’m bisexual, and I’d like to talk about what bisexuality, visibility and inclusion mean to me.

A word on language to start with. Language is dynamic, and dictionaries are descriptive of usage rather than directive. In my case I use bisexual to indicate that I can be attracted to more than one gender (or sex). It doesn’t mean that this attraction is always the same, or that it’s equal. My bisexuality, however, is trans, non binary and intersex inclusive. Pansexual is another word which is often used to describe people like me. There are many (many!) nuanced definitions of both words and anyone who tells you they can tell you what any of these words absolutely mean is, well, at it!

You only need to leaf through the pages of any national newspaper to see why trans, non binary and intersex rights and inclusion is something I will never tire of shouting from the rooftops. But I’m not trans, intersex or non-binary so I would suggest reading Codi’s blog to find out about their experiences as a really good starting point.

Back to my sexuality. As a bisexual, cis (i.e. ‘not trans’) man, married to a woman, my sexuality is not immediately obvious. To the casual observer we are look like a cisgender, heterosexual nuclear family, with a dog: in many ways normal, but that all depends on what normal is for the observer.

Why is that an issue? Well, I’ve spent most of my career (and unless I live to a ripe old age, most of my life) never quite being ‘out’. It’s not that I’m ashamed or secretive about my sexuality – it’s just that I’ve just been in more relationships with women than men, so many people assume that I’m heterosexual. Most of these assumptions are silent, though. I can correct what I know, but if the assumption is in someone else’s head, it stays there uncorrected and unchallenged.

I like to think of it as being Schrödinger’s Bisexual. If I’m observed in a relationship with a man, the observer thinks I’m gay. If I’m observed in a relationship with a woman, the observer thinks I’m straight. This analogy breaks down a little if I’m observed in a relationship with someone who isn’t a man or a woman, but the point stands, that what the observer sees leads them to draw a conclusion which isn’t correct. I don’t blame them – they may not have (knowingly) met many bisexuals before, and they’re very unlikely to have ever really discussed it. I’ve been guilty of making similar assumptions – being part of the LGBT+ community doesn’t make you any less susceptible to this kind of thinking.

I first came out to friends in the mid 1990s. I knew at that time I wasn’t ready to tell my parents, but I didn’t think that nearly 30 years later I’d still be in the process of coming out. A good example of this is the fact I only recently got round to coming out to my parents last year. Between their increasing age, and COVID’s increasing spread, I became aware of their mortality and mine, and I didn’t want to leave things to be the fodder for future regrets. I had the real privilege of knowing I wouldn’t be shunned our outcast (a comfort many LGBT+ youth don’t have, even now). If anything, my sibling coming out as queer years ago stole my thunder! My mum was lovely, as expected, but my dad’s reaction was mostly confusion – why this big announcement now after so many years of marriage? He was fine – in his own way – just perplexed. I decided that I could probably leave enlightening him about non-monogamy for another day.

While I don’t make a big secret of my sexuality these days, many people assume my wearing of the Scottish LGBT+ Police Association lanyard and badge is me trying to performatively show how ‘woke’ I am. I am happy to talk about it if it ever comes up, and I can’t deny that there is little bit of fun in collecting confused looks when I confound expectations in conversations about the attractiveness or otherwise of celebrities (Dan Levy, I’m looking at you!). That approach is limited though – while joining in a conversation about the various reasons why Schitt’s Creek was the best lockdown discovery ever... constantly engineering conversations where to go on about people you find attractive would get very creepy very fast. I’m just fed up with feeling I must come out. I can’t drop my boyfriend or my husband into the conversation as subtle indicators. It’s not that I want a bigger fuss – there’s no need for a full-page ad in press. It would just be nice if people didn’t always assume that I am their version of normal.

To be able to come out in a safe and secure environment is something that too many people in the world today cannot take for granted. For too many people this decision would expose them to violence, to abuse or to homelessness. In some jurisdictions it would place them on the wrong side of the law – risking state-sanctioned violence, imprisonment and even death. I know I’m very lucky in my suburban straight-passing relationship to have the choice to come out safely.

Bisexual erasure (the opposite of bi visibility) is real too though. Research by Stonewall shows that bisexual (and pansexual) people experience unique challenges – including prejudice from within the wider LGBT+ community. While an encouraging 74% of gay/lesbian people are out to all their friends, that figure shrinks to 36% for bi people. From the same research 57% of gay/lesbian people were out to all their colleagues – only 22% for bi people. I can really understand those figures. Even in our values-driven workplace, being out – being your authentic self – isn’t always an easy choice.

There are simple things you can do to help, though. Firstly, try not to make assumptions – and challenge them when you notice that you have done. Believe people who tell you they’re bisexual – it’s all-too-often written off as being a phase, or indecision. Watch your language too! Prejudice isn’t just about throwing insults and slurs at people. Language can cause harm when it’s not inclusive. Straight/Gay are not the only two options – so be careful not to make it seem that way in the language you use. Finally, remember that a person’s sexuality is unique to them, and private to them. Your words and deeds can help to make your friends, family and colleagues feel more comfortable talking to you about their sexuality, but that’s their choice not your right. Pointed questions aimed at trying to work out someone’s sexuality will rarely be welcomed.

Ultimately while I do want us bisexuals to be more visible, whether the person (colleague or customer) who sees me wearing my rainbow-festooned lanyard assumes I’m gay, I’m bi, I’m trans, intersex or non binary, or if they think I’m a straight ally… what matters is that they know to expect a supportive and understanding response if they speak to me about LGBT+ matters. Whatever your authentic self looks like, make sure that’s your vibe.

#bi visibility #bisexual visibility #bisexual visibility month #bisexuality #bisexual community #lgbtq community #lgbtq #bi #support bisexuality #lgbtq pride #pride #bi tumblr #bisexuality is valid #bisexual #bi pride #bisexual nation #bisexual pride #bisexual education #bisexual youth #support bisexual people #bisexual men #respect bisexual people #bisexual rights #bisexual woman #bisexual people

[chaotic-aro-incarnate]

10 BL BOYS I WILL THROW HANDS FOR

Was tagged by @scarefox for this (technically my main blog but I post my bl stuff on here lol) and am very excited

I imprint on characters like nobody's business so this is a list made for me

EDIT changed the gifs because apparently the way I did it didn't properly link to the creators (only on desktop at least). should be properly credited now

In no particular order

1) Sound (My School President)

Starting the trend of lonely queer teenagers that I get a little too attached to, it's of course Sound. Like I was already a fan of Sound and intrigued by the concept of SoundWin (at the time people didn't know it was going to be the main secondary ship) but when the medal scene happened and Sound gave this so sad ans soft "oh no" look I was gone. That is my son and I WILL fight anyone and everyone for him

2) Nuengdiao (Never Let Me Go)

Another lonely queer teenager I decided to protect. I loved Never Let Me Go so much and Nueng was my special little babygirl and then Our Skyy 2 came out and it was like oh...... I will kill for him. Look I love Nueng and he did nothing wrong and also that scene where he's forcing Palm to put the gun to his head while screaming at him to shoot him leaves rent free in my mind. He's so traumatized and lonely and he's like 18 I would do anything for him especially throw hands

3) Typhoon (Star in My Mind)

Fun fact! I had to stop watching Star in My Mind because I got so unreasonably attached to Typhoon that I couldn't bear the thought of him not getting a happy ending. I wanted him to end up with Dao so bad because it would make him happy and I knew that if I kept watching they would either break his heart OR show that he's actually not that great of a guy, both which were unbearable to me. So I simply cut my losses and live in the fantasy that he got everything he ever wanted.

4) Bai Lang (My Tooth Your Love)

One of those "he just like me fr fr" characters who I would do anything for. He's my specialist little boy and I love him so dearly. Here's to having your trauma swag bewitch the local hot autistic dentist body and soul.

5) Han Ying (Word of Honor)

Talk about my specialest boy. Ying'er is my guy through and through. He deserved so much better and in every WoH fic I have written (they are all still in drafts) he lives and is happy no matter what. He IS my sweet cheese, my rotten solider, my good time boy. I will continue writing him getting railed to the high heavens by Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing like he deserves. He is incapable of being anything other but the goodest boy possible and I will die on this hill

6) Boston (Only Friends)

He is the worst. I would move mountains for him. Enough said.

7) Pluem (Ghost Host Ghost House)

Look this man has been going through it AND he manages to be the like the most flirtatious and romantic guy around? Give me your secrets sir. Also say the word king and I'll do it. This show broke me on so many levels but a lot of those levels were tied to anytime I saw him break down

8) Ye Huo/Fire (Guardian)

A recent (and somewhat obscure) pull as I am currently watching Guardian and was just exposed to his character today but he is my guy and I will defend him to the death. The only weaker point for me than a lonely gay teenager is a self appointed older sibling who sacrifices everything for their younger siblings. I was really like man this guy is an asshole for so long but then the truth of how he was saving the boys at the fighting ring came out and I was like oh no that's my son now and I need him to live and be happy. I have not finished his arc yet so I am scared that it'll be a tragedy BUT he is my wonderful son all the same and I will throw hands for him in an instant

9) That (Manner of Death)

The return of troubled teenagers I need to adopt and protect against all costs. I WILL fight anyone for him even though he's like a rebellious teenager who does crime and I am a strange looking college student who he would not respect but it's the thought that counts

10) Mark/Village Head Ma (Love Tractor)

Why is there a random white man living in rural South Korea? I don't know!!! They never address what he's doing there. But I literally love this man. There's a reason I made him to be my pfp for bl-bracket. Seriously he's the best and I will fight anyone who says otherwise. Best character ever written. In my heart he's got the spirit of Quincey Morris form Dracula in the long tradition of just having a random American man in your story with no explanation

Tagging others!!!!! @saturnskyline @non-binarypal7 @supernovasimplicity @vegussy and anyoen else who wants to!!

There's been so many of these types of challenges/tag things lately that I have not kept track of who has or hasn't done which ones so sorry if you've already done something similar

#fun fact when looking up gifs i kept running into polls for bl bracket #and getting annoyed for filling up the search results #and then remembering that's me lmao

[auroras-void]

📌 Pinned Post timeee ✨

Uhh I'll update this as I think of shit to add but, my blog is p standard. This site is a void that I scream into but sometimes gay catgirls scream back at me, details are under the fold 💜

Also.

If you know me irl click the thingy too!!! 💙

vvv

This place is not a place of honor... no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here... nothing valued is here. This place is best shunned and left uninhabited.

Though if you were able to find this place you're probably someone I trust. So, if you still wish to proceed I honestly don't really mind if you visit respectfully. There's not really much of note here.

All I ask though is that you at the very least filter posts tagged "#void" before you scroll any further. so I can keep some control over this space. Ask me if you're curious about those and I'll show you though 🖤 I don't like keeping secrets, I just want this space to feel like mine. (Also if you don't know how to do that text me.)

(I'd also recommend filtering #hornyposting, but that's for your sake not mine. I am not ashamed.)

--------------------

About:

I rb whatever I want. I post whatever I want. Including but not limited to:

- Minecraft, Technical Minecraft, Modded Minecraft, Minecraft Builds, HermitCraft. Basically anything Minecraft that's not roleplay smps or competitive minigames. Literally my biggest hyperfixation, I have like 10,000 hours in this game. Unironically it is probably the artistic medium I am most competent with lol 😔

- Owl House, Lumityposting, etc.

- ADHD stuff. Currently getting rolled by it.

- Construction DIY and home improvement stuff.

- Urban planning and Public Transportation

- Leftist politics and news (whenever I'm not too depressed to deal with it)

- Computer science and computer science like games/mods. (Hexcasting my beloved)

- Any game that requires you to take notes or break out a spreadsheet.

- Photography

- shitposting, r196, memes

- Personal stuff and random thoughts.

- hornyposts :3

- Literally anything I find interesting or pretty.

Also Crosswords now!

--------------

Logistics Stuff:

- My own posts are tagged with #post

- Any RBs with content in them are tagged #rb

- RBs with content in the tags are (sometimes) tagged with #tags

- Replies I don't ever tag.

(this one's tagged as all of em for convenience)

I only just started doing that so it's not on all my posts but I'll try to keep up with it going forward.

---------------

DMs are open, (including to flirt :3)

--------------

DNI list:

- Terfs, Bigots, Republicans, Exclusionists etc.

- Minors

- Anyone who gets involved in terminally online discourse.

- Paraphiliacs/Pro paraphilia ppl, don't mean anything by it, just not a can of worms I wanna deal with or be around.

- Anyone who I've blocked. I will block for any reason, don't usually mean anything by it, I just want control over who I see and talk to here.

- idk more as I think of em

#pinned post #post #rb #tags #196 #main #personal #my crosswords

[life-on-the-dl]

This is a blog that I want to use to explore and detail my experience as a man on the Down Low or “DL,” which is how I will refer to I from the is point. For someone not familiar with this I’ll cover some F.A.Qs so as they come up throughout this blog you can refer back to them.

What is on the DL, as copied from Wikipedia, Down-low is an African-American slang term specifically used within the African-American community that typically refers to a sexual subculture of Black men who usually identify as heterosexual but actively seek sexual encounters and relations with other men, practice gay cruising, and frequently adopt a specific hip-hop attire during these activities. They generally avoid disclosing their same-sex sexual activities, even if they have female sexual partner(s), they are married to a woman, or they are single. The term is also used to refer to a related sexual identity. Down-low has been viewed as "a type of impression management that some of the informants use to present themselves in a manner that is consistent with perceived norms about masculine attribute, attitudes, and behavior".

That is pretty much it though I don’t adopt a specific hip-hop attire and don’t know of anyone that does but that’s the gist of it. I have been on the DL since 1996 when I was a senior in high school, at least that is the timeframe of my first experience though I could argue that I really didn’t embrace that lifestyle till the 2000s when I decided that I wanted to have an encounter with a man. Truthfully I did not even know about being on the DL till well past my first few experiences, I stumbled across it and the definition of it related to me. Though at the time it was a strong belief of those not in that lifestyle that any man who participates in that is considered gay. This was a time where men starting to identify as bisexual but even those men were still categorized as being gay or just confused gay men. I did not want that label and felt like keeping my experiences secret was my best choice. I had considered myself bi-curious to give myself a definition of where I stood but kept that to myself or communicated that when seeking someone to have a shared experience with. On some level I do regret it because the caution I took in doing so kept me from fully embracing experiences. The internal struggle I faced after hookups delayed me from figuring out who I am while I denied who I was if that makes sense. When the majority of society is screaming this point of view that you don’t agree with you hesitate to be brave enough to step out of the societal norms out of fear of facing those labels and repercussions. I did not want my family or friends to know and feared what would happen if they found out, though my sexual life is no one’s business we all tend to make it ours as a society. Additionally, I will often talk about masculinity and femininity. The conflicts of sexual acts that are considered feminine but as a masculine man doing can confuse you. I think as a young man that was a difficult path to navigate but as a middle age man I can tell that one does not mean the other. I’ll try to limit my rambles in this blog, as much as I’m gonna share in hopes of being relatable to others like me, this is also therapeutic on some level for me as I continue to navigate that lifestyle. I hope you join me on the trip.

#down low #biseuxal #gay black #black bisexual #black top #black bottom #lgbtq

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hey Steph! How are you? I want to thank you for all you do keeping the fandom alive and united. I feel a lot of us come here for some guidance, at least so we can connect with others that have the answers we are looking for. What you do here is invaluable. Thank you.

That's the reason why I would like to share this with you and all the fellow fans:

https://at.tumblr.com/thou-babbling-brook/sherlock-fandom-survey/hxi9dezxvekp

I hope you can see this correctly. It's a survey about fandoms, it will be useful in a study about the vocabulary that we use and our knowledge about this spaces. This time is BBC Sherlock. I think it's a great thing that we can all do, and another place where we can share our love for this fandom and what we built together.

In virtue of this, I would like some guidance. In one part of the survey there is a section about phrases or words that we use that are specific of our fandom, and I CAN'T remember any (except maybe TJLC and Johnlock). Do we use a specific language with each other that it's unique of us? Some other code words? I can't remember.

Anyway, thank you if you read this and I hope you have a great week! ❤️

Hey Lovely *HUGS*!

First off, thank you for your kind words! I am glad you enjoy your time here and I hope I continue to make it worthwhile!

As for the link, yes! I did see that survey; I reblogged it a couple nights ago, and I hope everyone takes a few to do it! I plan on it as soon as I get a free moment myself!

Oooof, yeah there's a few I can immediately think of:

TJLC / johnlock, as you said

smoll (that was started by the Sherlock fandom)

john's red pants / red pants Monday

tea and jam (and there was something about John being a kitten? can't remember this one)

purple shirt of sex

I feel like "pillow princess" started with us, but I'm probably wrong

dark fuck prince Sherlock / dfp Sherlock (essentially where Sherlock has this weird dark, sometimes cold and/or abusive characterization that I personally don't jive with, but to each their own)

"setlock" is what we call the filming period

I feel like the sun and moon thing was started by us as well? Dunno.

bisexual lighting (while I don't think we coined it main-stream, it became a little more popular after our fandom spent a LOT of time examining it)

tinhatting / tinfoil-hatting (again, same with this one)

a bit of a selfish one here, because I am pretty sure I coined this one: the mary problem. Another one not really beyond my own blog and the small circle that follows me, but I did see a bigger blog a long time ago use it AND credit me for it, so whee.

DON'T remember the EXACT phrasing, but it was something like "the fake baby is guns and money", where during the S3/S4 hiatus, speculation about the "baby" was that it wasn't real, and jokes devolved to "hahah the baby is Mary's secret stash of guns and money". It was silly and I loved it.

"something's fucky" came about after S4, and I don't know if it spawned from our fandom, but I'd NEVER seen it used before S4 shitposters used it.

Another I don't remember the exact phrasing, but "a camp gay and an angry bisexual dynamic"

phone = heart metaphor, the tea code, and food = sex metaphors

"the gay pilot"

I know I'm missing a PLETHORA of them... I've a terrible headache so my capacity for remembering things is very low right now, and I've been in this fandom for SO long, I've seen things come and go too often. If anyone wants to add to this list, please do!

#steph replies #sherlock fandom #fandom love #fandom history #fandom things #i love this fandom so much #i wish i could remember more #my head hurts too much

[ghost-in-my-dreams]

The Van

I know now that the harder I try the easier it is to push back. Im going to take a different approach. There is a park in Yucaipa, CA that I visited during covid with a friend. It was nice, a lot of hiking trails and wildlife. And mostly empty as you can imagine. And to be honest it makes a great place to have sex without being disturbed by others. I'm sure I'm not the only one to arrive at that idea. Let's say every entry I have posted and put out as evidence that points to a crime organization is a fantasy that somehow I came up with even though I have no experience in such lifestyle. I am a nerd, a geek, a gamer. I like computers and consoles. I barely leave the house. My favorite games are Overwatch and Dead by Daylight. My skin burns when I go outside in a second. Im afraid of everything. I shake like a bee and sting when I cry. I cry a lot. I am anti social and I love watching movies that put me to sleep. My life was destroyed so I have nothing to gain or lose from this endeavor. If I didn't have to do this I wouldn't be doing this. I just don't like being bullied and told I'm a liar when I am telling the truth. I went to jail basically because I didn't defend myself and I didn't have anyone to defend me. I like being a loner because I like being independent. If I wanted to make up a story I would and you bet its not going to be about this BS that is going on because why? As a matter of fact I just wanted to write down what happened to me up until December of last year. But things like people throwing bottles at my house in the middle of the night started happening. I didn't think of it as serious because the bottles never hit anything besides the ground. I pretty much knew who was behind it because only a weak gay male would be too scared to actually hit a target. After about the third time this happened I began to plan a defense. I put up a security system for example. After which I then saw what was happening when I wasn't looking. Around that time I discovered Raymond's secret past. So I felt like there was another world I didn't see because I was comfortable in my own. And this is how we get to today. Like this picture that was posted on Sniffies that shows a van at the park I once visited. Now like I said before its probably a fantasy and there is no van at all which I have already outlined and described as the instrument that is used for sex. Of course they didn't take a picture of it and post it to advertise to others that the park was the spot to go to. Why would they take a picture of the woods or trails or maybe a dark bushy area suitable to mate. Im being sarcastic by the way. I waited to post this because honestly I don't care anymore. I am going to push until I get a response that will hopefully push them to act with violence towards me. I'm doing it for my own sanity and they just disgust me. I think HIV is pretty much everywhere now, there is no safe sex and there is a group of perverts growing that actually advertise they are perverts and look for that content and share it amongst themselves. And I'm not scared to do it alone. I'm not scared of a bunch of homosexuals that dick each other and whimper for it.

So there it is and I don't even think its the actual park even though its posted on the parks profile. I remember it as mostly dirt and a few benches scattered around. For example in my town this happens as well. They put a label on a house as a park. I flag it every time to get it removed just to be a dick. Its a whore house. There a lot of these houses. Too many to list. This is the reality whether you believe it or not. ** To clarify here since the blog reads from the top down to people. When I say whore house, I should actually say it can be more than that such as a drug house, meeting house, , brothel, etc. I just dont know what is inside because I have never been in one. All I have is an address someone I was suppose to meet gave me. I never went because it became a decoy. So I generally call them all a whore house. The guy that messaged the decoy was at a totally different area than the address.

[veronicasanders]

"Get to Know Me" Tag Meme

Thank you for the tag, @duckprintspress!! Sorry that it took me so long to do it! (Also I know that I'm not really involved in this discussion but I feel like I need to say for the record that while Raphael is *definitely* the best turtle, Michelangelo is a respectable choice too. Sometimes you meet people who say they love Leonardo and it's like...bro, who hurt you? Plus I'm legally required to link to this XKCD comic anytime the Ninja Turtles are mentioned.)

Three Ships: Well, I write RPDR fic, and seeing as how my avatar is Courtney Act, it would be wrong not to mention the two main ships I write with her: Bianca Del Rio/Courtney Act (Bitney) and Adore Delano/Courtney Act (Adorney). Third places changes a lot based on what I'm reading/writing but I always really love the Sasha Velour/Shea Coulee (Sasha) dynamic. (Also, @theartificialdane and I just wrote a few scenes where Pearl and April are highkey flirting and I'm pretty into that.)

First Ever Ship: As a kid, I was really REALLY into TV couples with strong bisexual energy. Jessie and Slater from Saved by the Bell, Max and Kyle from Living Single, Clare and Steve from OG 90210. I was also very hyper fixated on The Baby-Sitter's Club books for like, years, and really just always felt a *spark* between Dawn and Kristy. (But seriously, go back and read how Kristy describes Dawn compared to how she describes anyone else, or how other people describe Dawn for that matter. And fun fact: Ann M. Martin is in fact a lesbian. So...)

Last Song: Madonna's Holy Water (from Rebel Heart)

Currently Reading: Nonfiction: Laziness Does Not Exist by Devon Price, Scarcity: Why Having Too Little Means Too Much by Sendhil Mullainathan and Elder Shafir. Fic: I mean it's no secret that I'm deeply fucking invested in slash obsessed with @artificiallita's Bitch Fight (also guess what just started playing as I typed this? Heaven is a Place on Earth. Coincidence?) and @artificialcandycane's Will You Make Me Believe? Also, I just beta'd a chapter of Dartmouth420's The Single Gay Dads Club, and it's so fucking good, you guys aren't ready!!

Currently Watching: I just started Real Housewives of Salt Lake City and it's already SO UNHINGED. Plus doing a re-watch of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend which never fucking disappoints. And about to start the latest episode of Sarah Silverman's podcast.

Currently Consuming: A giant bottle of water, honeydew and this Italian cheese I bought earlier at an International Food Fair. I don't remember the name but it's Alpine, I think? And hard. And delicious.

Currently Craving: An end to my daily migraines, a massage, and maybe getting to bed early for the first time all week.

Tag people you want to get to know better! @imafuckingtranslibra-blog @junosjukebox @glittertrail @sweetestberryofthebunch @dakotagorgeousworld @tumble4rpdr @djooodie @fab-wolf-in-the-gloom @fannyatrollop @momsthetic

#tag games

[ambiencowboy]

I grew up in a very conservative town, so I’m pretty desensitized to homophobia, especially online. It makes me angry to see it obviously but I’m so used to hearing homophobic nonsense that it doesn’t really sting anymore unless it’s particularly awful. Transphobia, specifically terf rhetoric hurts me in a more visceral way - it cuts so deep. I think it’s because I was raised in a place that didn’t even acknowledge the existence of trans people - no one in my town knew the word ‘transgender’, including myself. I knew what being gay was bc people called each other gay as an insult 3,000 times a day. Having gayness introduced to me through homophobia was not good, but there is power in knowledge, and I at least had the knowledge that being gay was possible. I mostly felt fear, but also a little secret joy in knowing I probably wasn’t straight.

Transgender on the other hand… I didn’t hear the word until I was around 14. I started questioning my gender identity when I was 11, so a few years before I even knew there was a word for it. The hate speech terfs spew cuts me deep, because their refusal to acknowledge that being transgender is even possible, their conviction that it’s all either total delusion or malicious deception hurts so much because it reminds me of the uncertainty and fear I felt when I had no words to describe what I was going through. I used to talk to myself the way terfs talk about trans people. I would tell myself I was sick and twisted for wanting to be masculine, I would tell myself I was betraying women for not wanting to be one anymore, I would tell myself I was just being an attention seeker (despite not telling anyone for years lol)

Learning the word ‘transgender’ grounded me. Finally, I could communicate how I felt to someone else and have it make sense, suddenly I knew, I’m not crazy, if there’s a word for this, that means other people have gone through what I’m going through too!! Enough people that we needed a word for it!!! I’m not alone!!! I’m not crazy!!! And terfdom relies on the notion that being trans is either a mental illness or a deliberate ploy to hurt women. Those are the kind of things I would tell myself when I was at my most suicidal, self hating, delusional and miserable. Sometimes I can’t help but scroll thru terf blogs, it’s like an act of self harm. It hurts me so much and I am captivated by how much it hurts. I saw a car crash once up close, I saw bodies. And it reminds me of that, because I felt a primal terror seeing another human mangled beyond comprehension, but I couldn’t look away, even though I was dying to look away.

Any terf who hides behind “concerns for trans youth” is either lying through their teeth or lying to themselves. Terfs want trans youth to be shoved back in the closet, to live with shame and self disgust. I’m so much happier as a trans man, but a terf will always interpret my happiness as something perverse, something sick. It hurts to know that my joy is disgusting to someone.

#transphobia #transphobia tw #i made the mistake of looking thru a terf blog today and it made me so fucking sad #I wish it didn’t get to me so much bc that’s exactly what they want #better yet I wish I had enough self control to not look at that shit #death tw #death mention tw #car crash tw #long post #trans issues #trans masc #terfs