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#anyway!!! spn women week was really fun
robertcapajpg · 9 months
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monthly media recap june edition!
despite having sprained my ankle at the beginning of the month and being subsequently housebound for a good couple of weeks i did not manage to read or watch more tv as i was first hoping but anyway here it is:
read:
oranges are not the only fruit by jeanette winterson: i struggled a little bit to get into it at the beginning but it won me over and i really liked it, besides i love winterson's prose i think it's fascinating
watched
the bear s2: i think i liked this season more than the first one? i understand the criticism against this season but idk i had fun (plus i really enjoyed watching the babygirlification of ritchie), my only complaint is re: claire bc i understand that they had written her like that to be the perfect gf for carmy but it irked me sooo much that whenever they talked about her they only said 'oh she's so nice' okay and? like elaborate a little come on now it's 2023
dead to me s3: WRITERS OF THIS SHOW START RUNNING..........i enjoyed this season and i had missed my favourite women who kill men and are in love with each other but i don't think i will recover anytime soon from that finale.....im devastated (and i think it was a bit of a cop out but whatever)
john wick 2: not the best in the series but spiritually thee best one bc it has claudia gerini looking hot as fuck in the white fur in the roman forum and really what more could you possibly want from a movie
spiderman: across the spiderverse: i had sooo much fun watching this mostly bc i spent the entire time marveling at the animation
i have also been watching the redacted show and let me tell you i had missed being so grossly queerbaited like this i see how the spn to this show pipeline worked (this is entirely my sister's fault so let's pretend it's not happening + i was recovering this month so i cannot be held responsible for my recent viewing habits)
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kimodraw · 3 years
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you're the woman in the fridge and most of the time you're not sure you're really there at all
for the last day @spnwomenweek - free space
tw derealization, blood, death, abuse
ps: take a look at my spn zine
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sodomitecastiel · 3 years
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Do you have any recommended spn fics? To be restored is consuming all of my non fenario brainspace
This is in no way an exhaustive list - @jewishcharliebradbury is the one to go for that - but these are some favorites of mine, please always heed their tags just in case!
Putting it under a readmore because I'm a wordy bastard:
Sky Verse by starandrea: Angelic civil war! The crispest, most in-character dialogue! Vast, sprawling worldbuilding! Dean and Cas get together and are very bad at it for a long time! This series obsesses me the way other people are obsessed with dta (which I have not read for fear of commitment but fully intend to eventually).
To Be Restored by serenetyfails: You mentioned this one already but it's worth repeating - it's my favorite trans spn fic that I didn't write myself. Cas's transmasc identity is handled so carefully and so competently, Dean flips out in a way that's both in character and still kind to him, and Sam and Rowena are wonderfully fleshed out. I think many people would look at the premise and worry it's either misogynistic or fetishy, but it's neither, it's such a love letter to Cas's well-earned masculinity. Also, I'm obsessed with Rowena knowing and being buddies with a lot of trans women witches :)
Talk Therapy by shara: This is one of my favorite 'Dean is bad at asking for things' fics, it deals with his inability to want things past what he can give to others really well. I also appreciate that not everything in their relationship is fixed just because they're together, although the amount they love each other is always obvious.
Epilogue by JayneL: A weird little time travel story that is NOT a fixit for endverse, but is exceptionally kind to endverse Cas anyway. It aches very badly. I remember it being pretty trippy but also having to sit and look at the ceiling a while after reading it.
The Love Story of the Runner Up by Margo_Kim: Cas dates a normal human man with a good soul for a little while before he gets with Dean. Both of them know it isn't for forever, but they look after each other anyway. Told through the lens of story-swapping between gay friends and written with so much care & love. (You can thank @okologie for finding this one and making me read it despite my reservations.)
where the weeds take root by deathbanjo: Everyone recommends this fic but it's for a reason. Probably the best post-retirement fic there is, and definitely helped me form the neural connections to write Fenario, haha, I can't recommend this one enough. The complicated Dean and Sam issues are held with just as much weight as the Dean and Cas ones, although both are handled gently.
you and me in the war of the end times by stickthelanding (@tallahasseemp3): Alma knocked it out of the park with this one. THEE shotgunning fic. I've reread it more times than I can count, it has the loveliest atmosphere. I want to gnaw on this prose, said with love!
A Drinking Song by Balder12: Endverse snapshot. This one is mostly just bone hurting juice but it's one of my favorite characterizations of them - sometimes I find that endverse stories either make Cas way too soft or fucked up in a way I find goes too far in a direction I don't agree with, this one feels pitch perfect.
Everyone Is Trying to Get to the Bar by Balder12: All time fave angel true form fic!!! It's deliciously weird and fun, definitely a mind-melter. I only read it the once but sometimes I think about it and get a funny little shiver.
Tall Grass by aeli_kindara: This is another 'universal favorite', but also for good reason. Extraordinarily tender, it's my personal favorite Cas-grows-a-garden post canon story, especially because it manages to write a jealousy plotline that doesn't make me want to bite and kill. Dean's voice is exactly right and everything unfurls with this tender inevitability, idk how else to describe it! It also ends on a final image that's so lovely it's seared into my brain.
Dean (and Cas') Top 13 Zepp Traxx by pantheon_of_discord: Nobody does vignettes like supernatural writers. I love the way the road feels in this one, and how carefully picked each moment is. A string of pearls, this fic.
There's Only One Sure Thing That I Know by blinkiesays: Dean and Cas get trapped in the midwest by a curse that doesn't let them leave the state, and they want to break it until they don't. Being trapped gives them an excuse to want to settle down, but the route they take to get there is, of course, circuitous. This one hurts a little because it takes place while Sam is dead, but it isn't gratuitous in its sadness. Sweet and melancholy.
the taste of gravel in the mouth by deathbanjo: FAVE FAVE FAVE FAVE. I push this one at everyone I can. I'm extremely picky about 'Dean's self loathing' fics, mainly because I think it can veer easily into melodrama, but this author weaves Dean's self hatred and his anger together very seamlessly, in a way that feels real to the show. Also, Cas is perfect.
sweeter coming from my hand by perilously: A story that I liked before Nov5 and withstood the test of time!! Dean and Cas get married/soul-bound in order to both remove the Mark of Cain and fix Cas's grace. Features a formative scene for me where Cas expresses worries about if he has a soul and Dean raps knuckles on his chest, going, "knock knock, sounds like a soul in there." If you like this one, perilously has many good fics that are just as in character.
On Labor by a_good_soldier: I very nearly couldn't finish this one, but not because it's bad, haha. The premise just makes me want to tear my clothes in mourning - Dean knows Cas is in love with him, after getting him back from the Empty, and decides that he should give him what he wants without realizing that he wants it too. Dean performatively dating Cas while trying to talk himself into liking it (not knowing that he does actually like it) is exactly the kind of convoluted bullshit Dean's internalized homophobia would do to him. Nauseating and spectacular. Sticks in your brain for weeks.
canticles by 2street2car: An excellent 'weird girl best friends' fic. After striking out at the brothel, Dean decides to treat Cas to the "first date experience" himself, since the guy might die the next day. To sum it up succinctly: the rituals are intricate. And dirty dancing is referenced!
we shovel all the ashes out by xylodemon: As the author states themself, this fic is a love letter to California - it's a road trip casefic that's so rooted in place, the setting is rich and lush and the atmosphere makes me ache, and not just because it's set in my home state! I saved this one for last because this is another prolific author who has many stories I come back to again and again (Sweet Home and Love: A Retrospective are particularly good), they really don't miss. Usually when I read fic, it's a mad dash to the finish, but I took my time with this one. I highly encourage you to do the same :)
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autisticandroids · 3 years
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ok how would girls au work because i feel like to keep true with the theme of toxic gender roles them being cool and butch feels very at odds with that when like the girl version of that would be like christian girl with an instagram talking about country life and her future husband like it would be an interesting combo for them because john would be like ur an inherent failure for being a girl but also the expectations are lower already for them compared to john and sons
yeah it’s like weird! but i think about it a lot. i made a big fun post with it here.
basically my ideas are a combination of serious (dean) interesting (sam) and self-indulgent (cas).
like first of all i think sam is an out lesbian and i think she came out during the fight before stanford. like, i think she told dean when she was like fifteen, but she told john the night she left. she spat it in his face, actually. 
i think dean is like. dean loves her unconditionally but is also lightly homophobic to her about it, you know? they were accustomed to sharing motel room beds as kids but dean won’t do it anymore now that she knows sam likes girls. dean is also like, weird to her about her interactions with other women, and also talks constantly about men, as though men-liking were a cool exclusive club only dean is invited to.
i think sam has like butt length straight hair and doesn’t wear any makeup ever but doesn’t like. wear mens clothes or anything, like she wears plain clothes that are cut for women. on hunts she puts her hair in a braid. maybe she braids a spiked strap into it like beka cooper.
dean is like........ dean is a lot like young, pre-john mary i think. think the song remains the same. dean is obsessed with performing masculinity, while at the same time terrified of seeming mannish or queer. she walks a weird line, and ends up overperforming both masculinity and femininity. she regularly challenges dudes twice her size to arm wrestling contests in bars, but she never goes out of the motel room without a full face of makeup. like she’s obsessed with doing both. masculinity for respect, and femininity for conformity. you know that thing dean does with his voice? the harshening? the intentionally adopted accent and tough guy tones? she does that too. and her voice is raspy, like rachel miner’s. she’s just as invested in her “heterosexuality” as canon dean.
she wears dean’s same green army jacket but underneath it she ties up a flannel shirt so it bares her midriff. she wears her hair like s13 mary, except that sometimes she puts it in little pigtails. 
cas is the easiest because cas’ gender presentation doesn’t matter at all except in how OTHER PEOPLE relate to her, so it’s less a question of “how would cas do woman?” and more a question of “what would it be fun to see other people/dean specifically react to?”
so basically like. jimmy novak is a frumpy feminine christian mom. still wears the trench coat and probably a suit but when i say suit i mean blazer, pencil skirt, tights, blouse (or maaaybe a button down), low-ish heels. long hair in bouncy curls (think rowena’s hair but no bangs and black). actually jimmy novak probably pinned her hair up in a slight updo.
anyway i’ve decided that i refuse to try and remember what actually happened with cas falling in like, canon, like how close he got to human. this au’s cas gets close enough to human that she has to start like. showering. anyway she can’t take care of the hair so it gets tangled in a giant rat’s nest and dean gives her a bathroom chop. she has to borrow the winchester sisters’ clothes, because she has to start changing clothes but also because she can’t fucking walk in jimmy’s heels or in that confining skirt without the assistance of her grace. 
all the winchesters’ clothes look baggy on her because she’s kind of spindly and narrow and flat as a board. like dean and sam have big shoulders, big hips, and big breasts, and cas has zero out of three, so anything she wears looks like a smock. she keeps wearing the coat over whatever they give her. she’s tallish (five feet eight or nine inches?) but dean is taller and sam is freakishly tall. cas could probably pass for a man alone but when she’s with dean or sam it’s obvious she’s a woman just because of the heights.
when she returns to angelhood at the end of season five, she’s wearing jimmy’s white office button down, but no bra underneath because the only reasons she would need one would be to either make her boobs look bigger or to hide her nipples and cas isn’t interested in either of those things and bras are uncomfortable, no blazer on top, a set of cargo pants that look feminine and form fitting on dean because dean is in possession of an ass and hips, but baggy and dykey on cas because she is not, combat boots (also dean’s), and the coat, and her hair is just like canon cas’ hair but way choppier because dean cut it for her.
anyway, dean treats cas in a WILD way, like. they do some intricate rituals in season four? they are dean winchester and castiel, after all. but after cas butches up in season five and then stays that way dean pushes it into overdrive. “i wish you were a boy so i could date you” shit. dean lets cas put a hand on the small of her back. she jokes that cas is her boyfriend. when cas sleeps, they sleep in the same bed, “since you can’t possibly share with sam, she’s a dyke.” also she called cas cassie a lot when cas looked more feminine but switches exclusively to cas when cas looks more masculine. like it’s this whole “”””straight”””” girl intricate ritual where one is attracted to a masculine woman so one coercively masculinizes her further.
sam tries to check in with cas to see if cas is cool with this forcible masculinization and weird gender relationship, because sam is gay and Understands or at least thinks she does. she also catches wind that cas is here to smash a lot sooner than in canon. but anyway cas rebuffs her because cas hates sam. 
tangent, but one of my least favorite things that happens in mid spn, starting i think in s6, is that they start needing plausible deniability for cas, so they start pretending him and sam are like, friends. like 6.20 “i did it to protect the boys. or to protect myself. i don’t know anymore.” like there’s all this emotional stuff where cas is clearly talking about his emotional connection to dean, but sam gets included in order to make it seem SLIGHTLY less gay. and that’s annoying because of the no-homo-ness but it’s actually more annoying because 1) i liked s5 cas’ bitchiness towards sam i think that killed and 2) if sam and cas are gonna be friends after cas was a bitch and called sam an abomination and shit, develop it! develop it! don’t just Say that they are.
anyway it’s my au and i say what happens so the plausible deniability “both the brothers are important to me” shit does NOT happen and cas is a bitch to sam throughout s5&6. they do eventually bond later? like cas still takes sam’s hell trauma, and sam feels like she owes her for that (even though it was CAS’ FAULT IN THE FIRST PLACE but sam is batshit like that). so that’s what kind of gets them to eventually bond a little and become friends and comrades. 
also sam clocks cas as gay. obviously. sam tries to inform cas about being gay. because sam too is gay. it only kind of sticks. cas doesn’t really understand how human societal roles work. cas has HUGE angel autism and i support her.
also as long as we’re talking about five and six, why don’t we deal with male lisa. so obviously the kid thing doesn’t work. the thing that lisa does that makes dean like :o is not “have a kid that might be dean’s” but “tell dean he was going to propose.” this implies that they were dating in the past longer than canon dean and lisa but oh well. 
however, when dean gets pulled back into hunting, she’s six weeks pregnant by lisa and doesn’t know it. cas immediately tells her, and offers to give her an angelic abortion. she accepts without hesitating and cas does it. the fact that this - cas taking ownership of dean’s reproductive organs in a somewhat invasive way, even if it was wanted - contributes to their whole.... season six..... dynamic. dean never tells lisa about this.
that’s everything i can think of. i have work in four hours.
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I'm loving hearing you and other older fans discuss the fandom climate pre season 4 and really wishing I had been around/old enough to enjoy LJ at its peak :( if you don't mind me asking, what made you leave the fandom and also what made you come back?
hi!!! glad you’re enjoying the discussion and also SO GRATEFUL there are older fans who remember whose days because frankly the last ten years I have felt LITERALLY insane observing the supernatural fandom morph aggressively into a community that is completely unrecognizable from what it was when I was in it. Anyway this post is gonna be long because I’m gonna provide a ton of context since I feel like lots of contemporary fans don't realize what it felt like back then and how much it changed! 15 years is a long long time. Also this is specific to my experience!!! I cannot speak for other fans living elsewhere. 
Ok so! I left twice actually. I first started watching supernatural in high school, as it premiered. My then best friend introduced me to it and sold me on it with “weird brothers” which was relevant to my interests at the time because I was a fifteen year old goth kid OBSESSED with Poppy Z Brite novels and gothic lit. I got sucked in fast with zero shame. it was the 2000s and SPN was not a very big or popular show yet so there was nothing cringey or embarrassing about liking it. In fact, it felt like it had a cult following of mostly edgy goth/alternative kids because the early seasons very much marketed themselves as horror before the apocalypse storyline got introduced. 
AND WE WERE IN IT MAN!! My high school notebooks are FULL of SPN art, we wrote fic, read twice as much, cosplayed as Sam and Dean, made a replica of Dad’s journal, baked cakes with devil’s traps on them, went to conventions, etc. The climate regarding shipping was VERY much that you didn’t talk outright about fic, because the only available ships were Sam/Dean or J2, and incest and RPF were sort of controversial at the time (THOUGH NOT NEARLY AS CONTROVERSIAL AS THEY ARE NOW, one day I'll write a long meta post on how spn is at least partially to blame for the vast shift in shipping culture and how its negatively impacted fandom over the years, but now is not the  time). If you WERE into that side of the fandom you didn’t announce it unless you were certain someone else might be into it too. YOU CERTAINLY DID NOT BRING FIC UP TO THE CREATORS OR ACTORs, (though there was always a friendly, casual acknowledgment of wincest shippers and a mutual respect between the SPN crew and that subset of fans). The public part of being into SPN felt very different than what it is today. We liked old cars and shit diners and ghost hunting and horror! It had this fun working class vibe, night drives and sawed off shot-guns and the worst, greasy burgers. My best friend and I would go cruising around the inland empire at night, get sonic, listen to classic rock, and talk about ghosts. Shipping and wincest was a big part of what we liked about the show, but it wasn't our primary fandom experience and it was only a fraction of the whole #aesthetic and vibe of being a supernatural fan. 
It was also a fairly DIVERSE fandom! The conventions had lots of dudebros from the X files fandom, older women from Star Trek TOS, classic car enthusiasts (tons of people with replica Impalas just like in the convention episode lol), and at least in LA, the Fangoria/Movie Mosters/FX props crowd. It did not feel like a tumblr fandom or a shipping heavy fandom at all (partially because it PREDATES TUMBLR!!!). Shippers were a small small subset of the group of people there and into the show.
When season 4 aired, it changed a lot of this. I dunno if it was a spike in popularity or the inclusion of Judeo/christian lore or just the introduction of another character to ship Dean with who wasn’t his brother, but the sort of fan SPN drew to it shifted. It was less horror focused, less working class, less irreverent. I felt like new fans who came on board post season 4 took the show more seriously in some ways, and less seriously in others, and it was all sort of isolating for me. Most isolating was the way Destiel shippers DID NOT keep the fanfic in the fandom and started asking the actors and writers about things online and in person, which wad deeply uncomfortable and inappropriate. It didn’t even feel friendly or wink-wink-nudge-nudge like the interactions between the crew and fans who shipped wincest, it felt VERY much like they were forcing the actors into a corner where they had to acknowledge the ship lest they get called homophobic. I didn’t want to be associated with these people, I didn’t want to go to conventions witness the tense interactions, I didn’t want to have it come out I wrote fic and have people think I condoned this sort of behavior.  The last con I went to was when season 4 was airing, and that shift in culture not to mention it being  just WAY bigger numbers than I was used to made me feel like this just wasn’t what it used to be, and I pulled back a lot.  I still loved the show and so did my friends, so we continued to participate in fandom just in less community based ways. 
Season 5 aired the year I went to college. I made friends with two seniors in my dorm who were MASSIVE wincest and J2 shippers, and we watched it every week and would walk in the snow to Friendly’s diner afterwards to cry over an appetizer platter or sundae and discuss the episode. I remember season 5 being absolutely miserable to watch in a lot of ways, and I think the ritual/social aspect of being a fan was what kept me invested. But when Swan Song aired, I was legitimately so upset and devastated that I was physically ill for like a week after the fact. This was in the days when you had to wait months to have cliff hangers resolved at the end of series (and you didn’t even know if the show would be renewed) and it was just such a brutal terrible cliffhanger to be left on. Plus, my senior friends graduated and I broke up with my best friend AND girlfriend that year so I didn’t have any friends into it anymore. I remember poking around at the online fandom, but this was right when Destiel Vs. Wincest ship wars were just starting to get heated in online spaces and I was just so baffled by destiel even EXISTING that I wanted no part of it. This was the first time I left. I had no desire to even watch season 6 when it aired because I was still so emotionally chewed up from my ended friendships and the season 5 finale. 
My wife and I started dating in 2011 and gradually started introducing each other to the media we loved. Even though I wasn’t in the SPN fandom anymore it was still a huge cornerstone of my fandom history, so I introduced her to the series and we rewatched seasons 1-5 together (though I opted out for much of season 4 and 5 because thats when the show started to feel like it lost its cohesion for me. There were wild tonal differences from episode to episode and so many wild storylines that were introduced and never came back, so many violent deaths of beloved characters, fun goofy meta sandwiched between devastating apocalypse politics. In retrospect the way the show changed was just as much to blame for my first departure as the way the fandom changed). My wife liked it so much we decided to give seasons 6 and 7 a try in time to watch season 8 as it aired, and BOY, am I glad I did because those are some of my fave seasons and they really felt like the version of SPN I fell in love with: monster hunting, codependency, vengeful spirits, quirky side characters. I got back into the show—but when I looked in on the fandom, IT WAS SUCH A SHIT SHOW I had no desire to rejoin on that front. In the time I had been gone, the ship wars intensified to the point that destiel shippers ruled the fandom, ostracized, doxxed, and harassed wincest shippers (which was so bizarre to me because there was still no subtextual basis for their ship to even exist, let alone be wildly popular!) They also pretty publicly hated Sam who was my favorite character, and I felt like there was too much hostility and poor reading for me to interact in online spaces so I continued to write fic and watch the show, but I did not participate in fandom. 
We watched seasons 8, 9, and half of 10 as they aired. However, Demon Dean/The Mark of Cain was really where the show lost me for good. Sometimes when a piece of media disappoints you or becomes impossible to watch, the fandom is fun enough to keep you invested, but I didn't have that community at all, so basically what happened the second time is that I found the show to be deeply upsetting and unwatchable and just quit halfway through season 10. I kept tabs on the fandom out of curiosity for a few years, but it was just so divided and polarized that I eventually lost interest in even that, and for seven years, hardly ever thought of SPN unless someone was leaving comments on one of my old fics. 
Then 2020 happened, and literally everything went out the door. I started delving back into old fandoms and interests of mine. I moved, and my dad brought me boxes of my childhood room from storage, and I dug up a bunch of those old notebooks with ton of art from seasons 1-4. My dear friend @fireofunknownorigin got into SPN and watched the whole thing in a matter of months. I was seeing content again and feeling vaguely curious, but then…THEN!! Destiel was “canonized” (a debatable term) on fucking election night and the internet blew up. It suddenly became impossible to escape discussions of SPN, and I was, against my will, forced to see some of the WORST FUCKING TAKES from the WORST FUCKING SIDE OF FANDOM and I realized all my fucking rage and sadness and investment was still bubbling somewhere inside me, so. I poked my head in. I rewatched some episodes. I reread my old fic. And then I decided to make this blog and to pick up the show where I left off, because I’m the sort of person who wants to be completely informed and as long as Destiel shippers are saying they were queerbaited, I want to know without a shadow of a doubt that I am textually justified and backed in saying that’s not the case and they’re actually just fucking crazy. In order to do that I need to catch up and watch every fucking episode of this stupid fucking show, so here I am. 
AND HONESTLY ITS SORT OF A BLAST so yeah yeah yeah thats my fandom story and why I left/came back. SO SORRY for the dual memoir and history lesson. 
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billiewena · 2 years
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🍓
hiiiiii laufire. super fun to be mutuals with you, I loved your GIFs and your spn women posting during the themed weeks. especially appreciate your appreciation for bela and meg (thank you fighting the good "stop reducing them to this fandom stereotype" fight... and also the good megstiel fight 💕)
anyways, you just seem really cool & intelligent and I think you have some of the most fun and creative approaches to spn ships/crack ships, even if we went in completely different directions on some of them (like I definitely would've never considered casbela until your blog y'know). you truly make sandcastles out of the spn sandbox and I love that!
mutuals send a 🍓 and I'll compliment you!
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nancylou444 · 3 years
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I forgot if i sent it to u or someone else so i'm sending it again anyway
Please Read this to the end and then judge me.
I do not understand at all why you and all other anti destiels dont ship destiel and think that dean is straight and i hate you for that from the bottom of my heart. i mean cant you see how dean truely loves cas and gives no shit about Sam, his brother?and also jensen and writers ship it.
You are so stupid and do not deserve to live in this world period
Read this list below.it may help you take off your anti destiel colored glasses and Accept the truth:which in fact is that Destiel Will become canon.
Reasons Why Destiel Will Definitely Become Canon Before The Show Ends 101:
1.Jensen Ackles: Destiel Doesn't Exist.
2.Jensen Ackles: Because Dean is a lover of the LADIES.
3.Dean will always choose SAM over anyone else.
4.SAM and Dean are soulmates.
5.Castiel: you chose EACHOTHER.
6.Jensen Ackles' Unscripted Frustrated look into the camera in "Fan Fiction" episode.wink wink
7.Jensen Ackles: there wasn't a whole lot of dean and cas storylines in season 9.personally,i kind of enjoyed that.
8.Jensen Ackles: i think the whole dean and cas thing has gotten a little out of proportion.
9.Jensen Ackles: "destiel is real" is it?? Where?? Where is it real??
10.Jensen Ackles: What? What castiel? Nah just me and my pies!
11.Jensen Ackles: We sit down with the writers in a couple weeks. It boils down to these two brothers, that’s the core and the heart of the show, their journey, their fight for each other.
12. “You are homophobic if you don’t ship destiel!"
13.Dean Winchester is fuckin Straight.
14.Eric Kripke : I'm just really interested in guys, STRAIGHT guys who have a tight friendship,they are really fun to write...
15.Dean Winchester: I'm Dean winchester.i enjoy sunsets,long walks on the bitch and frisky WOMEN.
16.Dean Winchester : I dont swing that way.sorry.
17.Dean winchester : yeah sorry again pal i dont play for your team.
18.Dean sold his soul for SAM.
19.Dean died so that he could meet with Death and get SAM’s soul back which of course Castiel left in hell.
20.Dean gave away the Impala and was willing to die with a Croatoan infected SAM.
21.Dean breathed in the poisonous smoke, so that he would die with SAM.
22.Dean wanted out of an AU with Mary and Jessica alive, because AU!SAM didn’t like Dean that much.
23.SAM and Dean made promise to each other, made vows to each other really, in a church.
24.SAM and Dean choose each other over the world, anything, and everything, EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
25. Dean refers to SAM as though HE is his spouse (”does he want a divorce?”, “Lucy”...)
26.Dean would rather live in a world WITH demons than live in a world WITHOUT SAM.
27.When Dean forgot everything else, including his own name, he still remembered SAM.
28.Dean : I can’t do it without my brother, I don’t want to 
29.Dean to Sam :You’re the ONLY one who could’ve talked me out of it 
30.Dean to Sam :There ain’t no me if there ain’t no YOU.
31.Dean to Sam :“Because whatever we have between us, love, family, whatever this is, they’re always going to us it against us.”
32.Dean to Sam: “You’re my weak spot SAMMY, and I’m yours”
33.Dean or Sam i dont remember: “All that matters now, all that’s ever mattered, is that we’re together.“
34. Dean to Sam :“Don’t you dare think that there is anything, past or present, that I would put in front of you!“
35.Dean to Sam : “I made you a promise in that church, you and me, come whatever!”
36.The canon friendship between Dean and Castiel is toxic and borderline-abusive, full of lies, threats, insults, abandonment, beatings, and betrayals.
37. Sam, possessed by the devil himself, took control of his own body and beat Lucifer because Dean was there, because Dean didn’t give up even though he was hurt and covered in blood, because seeing Dean bombarded Sam with the memories of their life together.
38. Dean didn’t leave SAM’s bedside , didn’t bury him, didn’t burn his body, didn’t want to say goodbye, and how later he didn’t hesitate to sell his soul.
39.Dean decided not to go into a box, because SAM asked him not to.
40.SAM and Dean were the ones whom were mistaken with gay couple by several people if that matters.
41.SAM to Dean :“you always put me first. Your whole life”,
42.Dean to SAM: “I know where I am at my best, and that is right here, driving down crazy street next to you”,
43.Sam or Dean i dont remember:“you know what brought me back? You did”.
44.Dean’s siren-as admitted by the siren herself-was a copy of SAM.
45.Dean told a male cop "you're awsome".OMG!! He is bi!!!
46.Dean fanboyed over a male tv character.Holy Chuck!! He is bi!!
47.Jensen or Jared:“At its core, it’s the story of two brothers.”
48.Jensen or Jared:“At the end of the day, this starts and stops with the brothers.”
49.Jensen or Jared:“When it comes down to it, it’s about these two brothers.”
50.Dean told Castiel to get the hell outta bunker for SAM while he knew he didnt have his angel powers.Damn! Dean truely loves Cas!
51.Dean figured Castiel was too far gone to be convinced back into their group and bound Death to do their bidding. Dean’s order to Death was to kill Castiel where he stood.#couplegoals
52.Castiel blackmailed Dean by torturing SAM.oh dear god!!! What a True Lover!!
53.Castiel Betrayed sam amd DEAN with crowley.but that's what all lovers do Right???
54.This isnt some romantic show.
55. Castiel is a genderless celestial wavelength of light wearing a male vessel.
56.Dean's chemistry with Baby the Impala is far more noticable than the one with Castiel.
57.Sam even once asked Dean and Baby the impala to get a room.
58.The possibility of Dean and Baby the impala to get sexually involved and the two of them having sex in the finale full frontal is far more than the possibility of non existant Destiel to become canon.
59.Destiel shippers are only a tiny minority of the SPN fandom.
60.Jensen Ackles is fucking done with this shit.
61.Dean left Ben and Lisa for SAM.
62.Misha Collins is the only one who queerbaits.
63.Dean in "red meat" described SAM as the man he loved.
64.Dean sang in a colorful background.OMFG!! he is bi!!
65.Jesen ackles : because being with his BROTHER and doing that is the happiest he is.
66.Dean to SAM: "because i couldnt live with you dead"
67.What show you've been watching???
68.Jared : because that would have RUINED the show to make it about something it wasnt about.
69.Dean has kissed and had sex with an angel.her name was Anna
70.Sera Gamble said “supernatural is the epic love story of SAM and dean”
71.Cw_supernatural IG: it has always been two brothers and the open road.
.
.
.
*Manic laughter*
*Aggressively drop the mic*
*The door is over there*
*Boom! Suck it*
*It sucks to be destieheller*
You are very welcome
Btw I'm a Proud anti destiew and a logical SPN fan.
If You think I'm right,then Chuck bless your logical souls and if not,let me find some fucks to give....sorry,none was found.
The begining part was an example of a savage destieheller.it wasn't me😊ignore it.
Yours truly,anon.
=============================
Holy crap, that is one longass ask. An ask I was thisclose to deleting until I skipped to the bottom. 
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💖💖💖💖💖
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expectingtofly · 4 years
Text
SPN Stay At Home Challenge
Week 10: your choice
I’ve been wanting to write a destiel fic based off the song “Fortune Teller” by Robert Plant & Alison Krauss for forevvverr so I decided to finally go for it:
Dean, Sam, and Eileen are at the beach when they go to get their palms read. Cue an attractive, charming fortune teller and a palm reading Dean wants to dismiss, but can't seem to shake.
Words: ~3k
Read on AO3
Thanks to @bend-me-shape-me @helianthus21 and @pray4jensen for creating this challenge :)
“This is bullshit, you know that, right?” Dean asked, leaning on the counter in the small, dark shop Sam and Eileen had dragged him into.
“Come on, live a little, Dean,” Sam said, holding Eileen’s hand. Dean rolled his eyes. They were at the beach on vacation and had been roaming the boardwalk when Eileen pointed out a sign reading, Fortune Teller, $5 Palm Reading. Learn Who You Are and What Your Future Holds. Dean had hardly glanced at the sign before Eileen pulled Sam into the shop, causing Dean to reluctantly follow.
Inside, the small shop was littered with crystals and charms, incense and candles. Too many candles, Dean thought, looking around. This place was a fire hazard. At the back of the small shop was a thick, deep red curtain which would probably go up in smoke quickly enough if a candle fell over. Dean could hear murmured voices behind the curtain where the fortune teller presumably sat. Probably a woman in flowy clothes and long hair, waving her hands around a crystal ball, muttering shit about auras and futures.
Dean looked over his shoulder at the sunny, crowded boardwalk where the ocean crashed out of sight and people chattered and walked past, then back at Sam and Eileen who were looking at one of the tapestries blanketing the wall.
“I dated a hippy in college, remember?” Dean said. “Weirdest chick ever. She thought she could read palms too. Read mine and said we weren’t destined to be together.”
“Well she was right, wasn’t she?” Sam said and Eileen fought back a smile.
Dean flipped Sam off and the curtain parted to let out two women in bikini tops and shorts. They were laughing and staring at their palms as if they could read what the fortune teller had seen there.
“I told you!” The one said to the other. “‘There’s fortune to be made in your future’—I just started selling Pampered Chef stuff, remember?” Give me a break, Dean thought.
“Our turn!” Eileen said, pulling Sam to the curtain. They disappeared behind it and Dean sat on a tasseled, purple round ottoman that could've been either a place to sit or part of the decoration. Incense burned on a table to his left and the strong smell made him feel almost dizzy. He picked up a ridged, orange crystal on the table—a sign promised it would promote “relaxation and peace in mind and spirit.” Dean turned the crystal over in his hand. What a bunch of hooey.
He heard Eileen laugh from behind the curtain. Dean liked Eileen and thought she was great for Sam, but he was starting to wish he hadn’t given in when Sam and Eileen begged him to come with them to the beach. For one, no matter how well he got along with both Sam and Eileen, he was designated third wheel. And, two, he suspected Sam and Eileen had only invited him along out of pity—why else would they want him around on a vacation to celebrate their recent engagement? Meanwhile Dean had ended a two year relationship a month ago. He was happy for Sam and Eileen, truly, but watching them be all nauseatingly cute with each other didn’t exactly make him feel great about the current state of his love life.
Sam and Eileen emerged from behind the curtain, and Dean tossed the crystal onto the table and stood. “What’d the fortune teller say? Either of you guys gonna die an early death?”
“Jesus, Dean, that’s dark,” Sam protested.
“He said we make a good pair,” Eileen said, taking Sam’s hand to study his palm. So the fortune teller was a guy, not the witchy woman Dean had imagined. One aspect of this shop that was not ridiculously cliché. “My lines promise excitement and Sam’s promise dependability.”
“He called you boring to your face?” Dean asked Sam.
Sam rolled his eyes. “Just go and get your palm read.”
“Nah,” Dean started.
“Come on, Dean, it’s fun and,” Eileen looked over her shoulder at the curtain and signed something.
“What?” Dean asked. Though he’d picked up some sign language since meeting Eileen, he’d learned mostly single words, insults he could then aim at Sam behind his back to Eileen’s amusement.
“He’s attractive,” Sam said, “according to Eileen.”
“Well, I’ll be the judge of that,” Dean said. Eileen smiled encouragingly at him as he walked to the curtain. Trust Eileen to try and set him up with the fortune teller. She and Sam had been pointing out other beachgoers the whole week long, but Dean wasn’t having any of it. He’d decided he was content staying single for the rest of his life, thank you very much. With the exception of Sam and Eileen’s relationship, love was as much a sham as fortune telling. Or so he was trying to convince himself.
Pushing the curtain back, Dean stepped into the back of the shop and blinked in the gloom lit by only candlelight. A dark haired man sat cross legged on a wide carpet; he looked up as Dean entered and smiled. Alright, so Eileen wasn’t kidding, this guy was attractive. But he was also barefoot and wearing all linen, so Dean wasn’t going to lose his head.
“Hello,” the fortune teller said, beckoning for Dean to sit down. He was surrounded by more candles and, on the walls, tapestries and hanging beads. No crystal ball, though. “And what’s your name?”
“You can’t just read my mind?” Dean asked, sitting down across from him on the floor. Would it kill the guy to put some chairs in this place?
The fortune teller laughed, a low, pleasant sound. “I’m not psychic.” He held out his hand, palm up. “I only read palm lines.”
Realizing the fortune teller was waiting, Dean placed his hand in his. But the fortune teller didn’t look at his palm yet. He held Dean’s gaze—his eyes were a light blue—and Dean found himself relaxing despite himself.
“It’s Dean. My name,” he said.
“You’re a skeptic,” the fortune teller said.
“I thought you couldn’t read my mind.” The fortune teller smiled and Dean gestured to the space around them with his free hand. “This is a little over the top, don’t you think? The candles, the incense,” he gestured to the fortune teller, “the clothes.”
“People come here expecting something and I comply,” the fortune teller said. He didn’t sound offended. “They wouldn’t trust me if this place looked like a doctor’s office.”
“No, guess not.”
The fortune teller bent his head to look at Dean’s palm and Dean asked, “You have a name?”
The fortune teller looked up at him again. Shit. He really was attractive, hippy clothes and all. “Castiel.”
Dean snorted and Castiel smiled like he knew what Dean was thinking. “That’s amusing?” he asked.
“No, no, just, uh, it fits. Very new agey. That your real name or is it part of your whole persona?”
“None of this is a persona. It’s all real, it’s all me.”
“So you were born with this… gift, or ability, or whatever, to tell the future?” He was all too aware of Castiel still holding onto his hand and only half admitting to himself that he might be stalling.
Castiel looked thoughtful. “I can’t predict the future. I can only study the way lines cross on your palm,” he softly traced the lines on Dean’s palm and something fluttered in Dean’s chest, “and make assumptions and predictions based on what those lines typically suggest.”
“You make educated guesses.”
Castiel smiled. “I suppose you could call it that.”
“You know, you really shouldn’t be revealing trade secrets.”
Castiel tilted his head in a way that was incredibly disarming. “Are you going to go out on the boardwalk and discredit me?”
“Might open up my own shop next door and steal your business.”
Castiel laughed and the sound stirred something in the base of Dean’s stomach. He watched as Castiel studied his palm again, curious despite himself at what Castiel would see there.
“You feel kind of warm,” Castiel said. Dean reddened, but Castiel didn’t look up at him. He traced one long finger over a line curving at the base of Dean’s thumb. A small fan on a bookshelf behind Castiel swung slowly side to side, making the bead curtains hanging from the walls sway and softly rattle. Dean could feel the slight breeze in the warm room as the fan pointed his way. Castiel’s loose hippy shirt dipped at the neckline to reveal a brown corded necklace hanging between his collarbones. Muffled chatter rose behind the curtain and the fan softly whirred and Dean wondered if Castiel wasn’t a hypnotist as well.
“You’re in love,” Castiel said, letting go of Dean’s hand.
Dean blinked and pulled his hand back into his lap before Castiel’s words registered. He laughed. “Sorry, buddy, but I think you got me mixed up with my brother. The sasquatch that was in here last?”
Castiel only smiled serenely and shook his head. “You might not know it yet, but you will soon enough, I think. You’ll know when you look into your love’s eyes.”
Dean stared back at him, then broke the gaze. “Well, alright then.” He stood. “I still think this is all bullshit.”
“You can pay for my bullshit in that jar there.” Castiel pointed to a low table behind Dean where a jar stood next to a small sign reading $5.
“Right, forgot you actually make a living off this crap.” Dean threw a five dollar bill into the mouth of the jar and started to pull back the curtain. “Nice meeting you anyway.”
“Nice meeting you too, Dean.” Castiel smiled up at him, his hands folded in his lap.
Dean walked out of the shop to meet Sam and Eileen standing in the sunlight on the boardwalk. “What happened in there?” Sam asked. “You took forever.”
“He took his hippy time. Guess he was having trouble reading my palm.” After sitting in that dark room, the sun outside seemed even brighter and more glaring.
“What’d he say?” Eileen asked.
“Doesn’t matter,” Dean said, suddenly embarrassed. “He was making it up.” He started walking down the boardwalk.
“Dean, what’d he say?” Sam asked as he and Eileen caught up with him. “Something bad?”
“No! You know he can’t actually tell the future, right?” Sam and Eileen watched him expectantly and Dean sighed. “He, uh… he said I was in love.”
Eileen frowned. “In love?”
“Like I said, bullshit.”
“You think he meant with Lisa?” Sam asked.
“No, guys.” Dean stopped walking abruptly and Sam and Eileen turned around to look at him. “He didn’t know what he was talking about, he told me himself, he makes all this shit up.” He started walking again. “Probably gave me some generic fortune to get back at me for giving him a hard time.”
“You gave him a hard time?” Sam asked. Eileen touched Dean’s arm and Dean looked at her.
Attractive? she signed and Dean sighed.
Yes, he was attractive, he signed back. Eileen grinned and Dean rolled his eyes.
* * *
That night, Dean waved goodnight to Sam and Eileen as they went into their hotel room down the hall. He unlocked the door to his room, paused on the threshold and stared into the darkness, then shut the door and went downstairs to the boardwalk on which the hotel stood.
The ocean surged loudly and he leaned on the boardwalk railing to watch the dark waves catch the moonlight as they piled on top of each other and crashed into foam.
Shoving his hands into his jacket pockets against the night chill, he continued down the boardwalk. Lamp posts cast orange circles of light which diffused softly into shadow before meeting the next circle of light. Farther down the boardwalk, clusters of multi-colored lights formed the shapes of a ferris wheel and other rides.
You’re in love. What the hell did the fortune teller mean by that? Dean wasn’t in love, not with anyone, and not with Lisa as Sam had suggested. It was true that Dean had loved Lisa—their relationship was the longest he’d ever been in, and they’d even started talking marriage. But, slowly, for reasons Dean didn’t really know how to express, he had realized she wasn’t the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. And so he had broken things off last month.
Maybe that was a stupid thing to do. He and Lisa could’ve been happy together, happy enough. He didn’t know what he was holding out for.
He paused on the boardwalk before he reached the more crowded, night-life area. Nothing like seeing people having a good time, paired up in couples, to make him feel lonely and miserable. Standing under a lamp post in its orange glow, he drew his hand from his pocket and studied his palm, trying to see what Castiel had seen. He could still feel the light pressure of Castiel’s finger tracing the criss-crossing lines.
You’ll know when you look into your love’s eyes. Castiel must have pulled that from some sappy romance movie. The ones Sam and Eileen made Dean watch with them, where two people caught each others’ eyes across the room and, in a heart-stopping instant, knew they were destined for each other.
Shaking his head, Dean shoved his hand back into his pocket. That shit didn’t happen in real life; it hadn’t happened with Lisa or anyone else, and Dean wasn’t going to put any stake in Castiel’s palm readings, wasn’t going to bank on true love and all that cliché shit. A salty, chilly breeze tugged at his collar and blew through his hair as he headed back to the hotel.
* * *
The next afternoon, Dean leaned forward in his beach chair, resting his forearms on his thighs. The sun shone overheard and glared on the waves. Behind his, Sam, and Eileen’s chairs, a family sat with a radio blaring music, and to their left a couple threw a frisbee back and forth.
Sam and Eileen were both reading, because of course they were. They were disgustingly perfect for each other. Even their palm readings were complementary. Not absurd, like Dean’s had been. Dean decided he was going to leave Fortune Teller Castiel a bad review online, if hippies even used the internet and had websites. Castiel sat in a dark room all day, trying to act mysterious, taking people’s money, spewing nonsense, but he didn’t know shit.
Three women walked past his chair and one of the women glanced at him. Their eyes met for a brief moment before she kept walking past. Dean stared down at his feet and pushed them into the warm sand. You’ll know when…
Abruptly, he stood. Sam and Eileen looked up at him over their respective books.
“I’m going to go grab food,” he said and grabbed his shirt hanging over the back of his chair.
“Okay,” Sam said, looking back down at his book.
You alright? Eileen signed and Dean nodded. He pulled his shirt on and walked off to the boardwalk.
I’m great, he thought, I’m just going to give Castiel a piece of my mind, tell him where he can shove his fortune telling.
Making his way through the crowded boardwalk, he reached the fortune teller shop and stepped inside the dark, acrid smelling interior. Pulling off his sunglasses, he saw the curtain was drawn back a little, inviting customers. Determined, Dean marched over and pulled the curtain aside.
“You’re full of shit,” he started to say, stepping into the room where Castiel had read his palm the day before. But then Castiel looked up from where he sat on the floor and their eyes met and the words died on Dean’s lips.
He stared at Castiel for a good while, forgetting everything he had planned to say.
“Dean,” Castiel said, smiling, bringing Dean back to himself. “I was hoping to see you again.”
“You,” Dean stammered. Such blue eyes, why hadn't he seen it before... “It’s you…”
Castiel stood. “Is everything alright?”
“Yes,” Dean breathed. He broke his gaze from Castiel’s eyes and fiddled with his sunglasses in his hand. “I, um...”
“Did you come for another palm reading?” Castiel asked. He reached out and Dean gave him his hand without realizing what he was doing. Castiel lifted his own hand next to Dean’s and studied both of their palms.
“What do you see?” Dean asked, looking not at their hands, but at Castiel. His heart was pounding.
“I see… a dinner date. You tell me all about yourself, and then we take a walk on the beach.” Castiel looked up at Dean, a playful smile on his face.
Dean let out a breath of laughter. “You read all that in our palm lines?”
“I might have embellished a bit.” Castiel took a step closer to Dean and smiled up at him. You’ll know when you look…
“I came back here to tell you something,” Dean said. “What you read in my palm lines, it was true.”
“It was?” Castiel’s brow furrowed a little. He started to let go of Dean’s hand, but Dean took Castiel’s hand in his own.
“It was just like you said.” He couldn’t look away from those eyes. “I thought you were only making it up, but dammit, you were right.” The last words fell off his tongue soft and quiet.
Castiel studied him, then slowly smiled. “I so hoped I was right.”
Dean felt a warmth rush through his chest. He looked down at their hands, then back at Castiel. “You missed something in our futures.”
Castiel tilted his head a little. “What?”
Dean ducked down to kiss him and felt Castiel smile before kissing him back. He hadn’t needed his palm read to know it would feel so right.
When they pulled away, Dean asked, a little breathless, “Do I get that last palm reading for free?”
Castiel laughed. “Only if you ensure that what I saw comes true.” He intertwined his fingers in Dean’s and Dean nodded.
“It’s a deal.” And he kissed the fortune teller again.
Tagging: @spnwaywardone @good-things-do-happen-dean @becky-srs
I’ll be writing more destiel fics even with this challenge over so let me know if you’d like to be added to my tag list:)
89 notes · View notes
fizzyxcustard · 4 years
Note
Can I have Richard and reader with kiss that leaves breathless Also I love your stories and I worship you please and thank you
I was asked to start putting tags into prompt requests from now on. If you’d like to be added, please let me know. Written in first person and has some quite angsty and depressive undertones, so you’ve been advised. This fic was just very, very slightly inspired by recent events on the Tinder app I’d had. The rest is just pure fantasy! ENJOY! 
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** Reader POV **
I stared down at the WhatsApp messages that Justin had been sending me. Was I being a bitch for continuing on a conversation when I had absolutely zero interest in him? Most people would no doubt say yes, and tell me I was leading him on. Why had I even gone back on Tinder? Friends had been telling me it was only for one night stands and random hook ups, nothing in the vein of significant relationships, which is what I was looking for. I wasn’t even looking for it. Especially not when I had had a major crush on my friend Richard since the first time I’d met him. He’d already made it clear to me that his job came first; well, maybe not told me vocally, but I could see through his behaviour and the way he spoke about his career that settling down was something that he wasn’t interested in just yet. 
Another sexual innuendo. It was one after another. I closed down WhatsApp and turned back to my computer screen, hiding my phone in my handbag as my manager came walking over. “Meeting in five minutes,” she told me. 
When I got home that evening I made my dinner and checked my phone again, a fork in one hand and my iPhone in the other. 
You’ve gone quiet. Stuck for words? I couldn’t help but roll my eyes and throw my phone down, listening to it thump on the table. “Yeah, you wish, pal,” I growled to myself. 
I knew I wasn’t interested in this guy, but had still kept him coming back. What the hell was wrong with me? I couldn’t help but break down into tears. The pain of wanting someone so out of reach was killing me inside, eating away day after day. So instead I was trying to close that void by talking to someone else who may just have been someone nice enough to date and turn my attention elsewhere for a short while. Surely though, Richard would always be in the background and I’d live a life of what if, and then if he eventually settled down himself and found happiness, I’d be left miserable. 
I took a shower a short time later and stood in the corner, my head against the tiles. The red hot water burned my skin and I knew I deserved the pain. I don’t know how long I stood there in the shower as my music played out, echoing around the room. 
I checked my phone after drying my hair and saw that Richard had text me. 
Do you fancy getting together tomorrow? I’m back home for a short while and have missed you. 
My heart suddenly jumped and I couldn’t help but grin, slapping my hand to my face like an idiot. He’d missed me? 
We organised for Richard to come to my flat at midday as the following day was Saturday, which meant a well-earned day off from work. I’d also offered him my spare bedroom if he wished to use it; the travel to mine would be a couple of hours. 
It seemed like forever as I waited the next morning for Richard to arrive. I kept checking my flat constantly, making sure everything was in order. Cushions plumped on the sofa, all my main surfaces polished and cleaned, spare room duvet changed, bathroom clean. Everything was ready, but I had this feeling I’d forgotten something. 
Suddenly the front door knocked. I took a deep breath and walked to the door with my back straight, ready to give a big smile. 
As I opened the door, I immediately felt the butterflies in my stomach. This man always made my insides turn and my heart hammer inside my chest. 
He dropped his bag and came to me quickly, where we embraced. This hug felt different somehow, tighter and seemed to last longer. Oh, how divine he smelt and how warm he was. I could have stayed like that forever, with him bent over my small frame, holding me tight, never letting go. 
We both walked into the flat, a small silence in the air. Until he broke it. “How have you been?” he asked. 
I let Richard sit down at the dining room table first and then offered him a drink, finally starting to answer his question. “I’ve been okay,” I replied. “Working, plodding along, the usual.” 
The room suddenly seemed to have become so tiny and a huge weight was sitting on my chest. I wasn’t okay, far from it. I’d need to try and make him think I was alright, lie, pretend my life was fine and dandy, when in actual fact it was dropping apart around me. 
“I’ve been chatting with a bloke named Justin from Tinder,” I said, flicking on the kettle. 
“Oh,” Richard replied. “Is he nice?” 
I couldn’t see Richard’s face, and really didn’t want to face him. There was no way I could hide my expressions; I’d always been terrible at lying and deception through facial expression. My face and body language nearly always gave me away. 
“We’ve only been talking about a week...” 
“Is he nice?” Richard asked again, this time I could sense something in his voice, a dominance and slight agitation. “I want to make sure he’s good for you.”
“He’s alright,” I replied simply. 
“Just alright?” Richard asked again. 
As I poured hot water into the mugs, I heard footsteps behind me. 
** Richard POV **
Oh, fuck, was I losing her?                         
I’d left it too long and now....
But I could sense that she was holding something back, something too painful to tell me. We’d been friends for almost eighteen months and her presence in my life had only made things more bearable. I was able to sleep better at night, feel more content with my performances, and have a confidence all of my own because I knew she was in my life.
I was on the verge of losing this amazing woman to some guy who would never have any idea about her. He should have excited her, made her smile and glow, but no, all I could see in her was pain. 
I touched her shoulder. “Talk to me,” I encouraged. 
Please, just talk to me. Tell me you’re okay. 
“I don’t even know why I went back on Tinder...” she said, her voice only just audible. However, I seriously felt that her demeanour was something that was much deeper than just some guy she’d been talking to over Tinder. 
“It’s more than just that,” I said. “I know you enough by now. It’s part of it.” 
She turned around and looked up at me, and I saw tears in her eyes. They tore me down, stripped me of every piece of strength that was within me. My reaction mirrored her; her pain was mine. 
“He seems nice and everything, but it’s like all he can talk about is sex,” she began. “The conversations seem to perk up as soon as sex is mentioned, and I can’t be bothered with someone like that. I don’t even know why I’m on Tinder anyway. It’s like society tells you that you have to have someone to be happy, and I’m gradually succumbing to that.” 
“You’re a strong woman,” I told her, and I meant every word. She took no shit from anyone and that was one of many things about her that I wished I could have had within myself. I wanted her strength, her tenacity, her love of adventure, her spirit. “Probably the strongest woman I’ve ever known next to the women in my family. You know what you want in life and you’re not prepared to compromise on that. So why are you going after someone who only cares for one thing? You deserve someone who would move fucking mountains for you.” 
I turned away from her, feeling the embarrassment rise. She probably knew by now that I loved her. I’d loved her for almost as long as we’d known each other. And it had only been in the last couple of months that I’d been able to admit it to myself: I was in love with her. Of course, I wanted to make love to her, but that was only one part of a huge whole. I could never treat her like she was only there for one purpose. I’d treat her in the way all women deserved. 
I couldn’t hold back anymore. This was my only chance to show her how I felt, and I knew that if I fucked it up now then I would never have the chance again and would live in deep regret. 
My whole body was shaking, but I knew I needed to do it. 
I turned back to her, to see her eyes wide. And I moved towards her, putting my lips to her. I held my breath, waiting for her to respond, terrified she wouldn’t. But she did, wholeheartedly. I felt every single movement of her soft lips beneath mine and slowly the kiss became deeper. My hand instinctively cupped her cheek, and I felt that warmth, probably from a blush. I vowed in those moments that I would protect her always, in every way I knew how to. 
As we parted, she looked up at me, smiling between hitched breath. 
                                               ***************
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almaasi · 4 years
Text
reaction post typed while watching SPN 15x13 “Destiny’s Child”
so Destiel is a pizza metaphor now, I guess :o
--
05:24pm
i am LATE
because my doctor wanted to see me before the entire country goes into self isolation for 4 weeks. so i was there at 10am (an unGODLY HOUR) and they were doing all the appointments in the car park, with the patients in their cars and the doctors outside wielding those forehead-check temperature thingies. anyway i’m not dying. but i did have to go back to bed with wet hair because DECONTAMINATION
also i wore a surgical mask and now i have a rash where it touched me :/
-
05:42
almost done downloading. expectations for this episode: SOMETHING FUN. hopes: a hint (or a heap) of destiel. c:
-
05:45
alrighty it’s done!!! let’s go, lesbians
-
05:45
cas: “if the pizza man truly l--”
OH BOY WE’RE IN FOR SOMETHING
-
cas sexuality recap????????????????? iiiiiiiiiiiiiinteresting,,,,,,,,,,,
-
the pizza man.......... is dean............................
what 
is
happening
seriously what the fuck is happening
for 10 years i’ve expected a destiel recap and thIS WAS NOT IT, FAM
BUT I AM FUCKING INTO IT.
edit: wait, the pizza man is CAS, meg/the empty said later. so dean just wants all the pizza in his mouth i guess
-
05:49
my brain has rewired itself to be unable to see two characters together without worrying about covid-19. i can’t imagine anyone kissing without squicking myself. it’s weird.
and dean and sam are TOO CLOSE
take a little sub-step back there, ladies
-
05:51
other-dean-and-sam step out of their car
okay first off
1. the music. i like it. it’s awful in this show. i’m gonna look it up later.
2. the ANKLE. disgusting. i’m attracted to it.
-
2.1. wait no it’s sam’s ankle i take it back
-
05:56pm
sam: “it’s latin for ‘hidden’. where do we find it?”
billie. “i. don’t. know.        it’s.      hidden.”
i love her so damn much.
-
05:58
dean playing with the rubber band feels like a metaphor for the universes. he twists it into an infinity symbol and ooooooh
-
ahh look at this boy stimming
recently, the more i’ve watched dean the more i’m more inclined to think he’s also on the autism spectrum. just SO different from cas. and forced to hide all his traits by his upbringing, lifestyle, and surroundings, the way women with autism tend to do.
-
DEAN TRYING TO GUESS WHAT HAPPENED TO THE THING AND CAS SAYING NO !!!!!!!!!!
10/10
edit: probably my favourite part of this episode tbh. and i completely forgot about it until i was re-reading this post just now
-
06:05
anael/sister jo: “well, the healthcare systems sucks, so i pick up the slack”
resentful applause would be appropriate here
-
i like how she’s dressed! stripy blue turtleneck under a red satin cocktail dress under a bubblegum pink blazer!!!! nice!!
-
06:20pm
accidentally moved my computer and it turned off, lost a bit of this post. basically it was me saying ARE YOU TELLING ME ANAEL AND RUBY WERE CROWLEY AND AZIRAPHALE and having my fingers crossed for it being explicitly romantic somewhere in this
and then cas is talking to jack
cas: “dean feels things more acutely than any human i’ve ever known”
which, for one thing, only feeds my growing autistic!dean headcanon
and secondly, there’s a shot of the pizza as he says that!!!! significant
-
did dean just call sam ‘samwitch’ or is he referring to sam/rowena
-
cas: “the demon you were sexually intimate with”
which just reminds me how ruby was cas’ parallel that season.....
-
so i guess nowadays they just pop into hell like it’s a grocery store
-
dean’s gonna be so mad if cas dies forever
-
team free will dies if jack does it wrong
MUCH PRESSURE TO PUT ON TINY JACK O NOES
-
anael and ruby are definitely playing good omens
-
06:46
jack questioning this every step of the way probably Means Something
-
dean and cas standing in a church by the altar looks a liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittle like a wedding
-
i question how the moon would be in exactly the right place and fullness in order for them to find that. one minute off and they never would’ve seen it. and ruby’s been dead 10 years and somehow knows where the moon is, topside???
-
SO CAS JUST FOUND A SNITCH AND THE SNITCH IS LIKE “EAT ME”
very harry potter
-
jack’s gonna eat the snitch isn’t he
-
snek
JACK HEARS PARSELTONGUE
there is SO MUCH good omens and harry potter in this, i love it
-
dean and cas at the altar again........ ugh <3
-
brazil iS NOT WHERE ANYONE WANTS TO BE
everything is Bad there
-
07:00
HOO
it’s over
well that was a different episode than the trailer made it out to be. good though. wow so much all at once. i enjoyed seeing the ladies again.
THE RECAP ABOUT THE PIZZA THOUGH. like... it wasn’t textual in the episode, just made people Aware of the subtext?? which means regular people WILL BE NOTICING THE DESTIEL GOING FORWARD. OH BOY.
i’m too tired to have coherent thoughts but i enjoyed this!! i love jack and billie and i love how concerned dean was about dead!cas, and the other-sam-and-dean were funny but THEY’RE JUST?? OUT THERE IN THE WORLD NOW??
10/10 and i am intrigued about what’s coming next........
but yeah there was destiel. it’s just a pizza metaphor now.
*pizza emoji*, *clown emoji*
--
edit: so i just realised this was a bucklemming episode and THAT EXPLAINS MY WEIRD FEELING OF “i enjoyed this but something felt off”. like parts of this fell flat and felt like they skimmed potential rather than delving into it, and i was like hmmmm, but ignored the feeling bc i am just really fuckin tired. but yeah that explains the busty asian beauties thing too. i didn’t mention it bc ugh can’t be bothered. but yeah. adjusting my rating to 8/10 because it really does make a difference knowing the author’s intentions were questionable
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Text
Just You
Characters: Dean Winchester x Reader, Sam Winchester
Word Count: 1,965
Warnings: none
Summary: You and Dean won’t face the feelings you have for one another until the dam breaks and it’s flooding everything.
Squared Filled: Mutual Pining
Author’s Note: I know some of you have requested fics, and I promise I will get to them. I just need to finish these bingos before the deadline in June/July of this year. I am also trying to post daily again so bear with me. This is for @spngenrebingo and this is unbeta’d and any and all mistakes are all on me.
Feedback the glue that holds my writing together
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No matter what anyone says, not matter what they believe, you do not have a thing for Dean Winchester. Well, that’s what you made everyone believe. Truth is, you liked the guy so much that he has consumed every one of your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Everything you did, you always had him in mind when you did it.
Would Dean like this new outfit? Would Dean appreciate you taking initiative on the newest hunt? Would Dean appreciate a car wash? Would Dean like this, would Dean like that? It was getting kind of exhausting trying to please him all the time, but it’s like your body willed it. It’s as if nothing would give it more pleasure than to see Dean Winchester pleased.
It makes things harder when you tried to hide these thoughts and feelings whenever he was in the room. You liked him a lot, but he always finds some way to irritate you. The way he sticks a pen in his mouth to chew while reading, how he licks his lips right before he chugs down his beer, how tight his Henleys look late at night when it’s just the two of you. It makes things a whole lot harder around here.
It’s not like you don’t irritate him as well. He can not count how many times he wanted to jump over a table and strangle you for the things you do. Like, for instance, how you scrunch your nose up right before you sneeze, or how your tongue peeks out when you’re in deep concentration, and especially your short pajama shorts because it’s just too damn hot to wear pants. You drive him absolutely nuts.
No, he doesn’t like you, or he would never admit it to you. The only person who knew of his silly little crush is Sam and that was only because he caught him staring at you from across the room. Sam had said something crazy like how he would “take Baby on a joy ride in the desert and give her a good scratching” and Dean just said “okay” because he just wasn’t listening.
For weeks, Sam was getting sick and tired of seeing you two eye fuck each other when the other one wasn’t looking. Maybe if feelings were confessed, you two would have a wild night in the sheets and things could go back to normal. Although, after hearing what Dean gets up to in the showers early in the morning has scarred him for life. He doesn’t think he could ever come back from that.
All you could do now is just sit back and pine after the man who you have no chance with. Dating and potentially sleeping with another hunter, much less one that lives with you, is treading on dangerous waters. You don’t think you’re prepared to take a swim just yet. You might end up drowning.
The morning after a really rough hunt, Sam had been the first one to get up and go on his run. He only made coffee for two and since you were the next one to be up, you figured you could take the other cup and make some more before Dean woke up. Just as you were pouring your cup, Dean walked into the room.
“God,” he scoffed, already annoyed with you.
“What is it this time, Winchester?” you sighed.
“You took the last of the coffee!” he exclaimed as if you had just murdered someone in cold blood.
“Sorry, I’ll make another one.”
“Forget it. Too late anyway,” he scoffed once more before leaving the kitchen in a huff. He had been really short with you lately and it’s starting to get on your nerves.
“Strike one, Winchester,” you muttered to yourself as you sipped the warm beverage.
One of the things you absolutely needed to do after a hunt is take a shower. Thanks to the Men of Letters shower room, all three of you were able to take showers at the same time. Stalls separated each shower head, but the brothers refused to go in when you were in there. Something about respecting your privacy or some shit.
Whatever, it means more alone time for you. This is something you had developed over the years, stemming from when you were a kid, but you always left your towels on the floor of the bathroom when you were done with it. Don’t worry, you’d pick it up when you were done getting ready for the day. However, that first instance that you’d throw your towel on the floor is when Dean quite literally lost his mind.
He was scheduled to take a shower next, but when he spotted your towel on the floor, spoke would come out of his ears if it could. He snatched the towel up before stomping to the living room where you and Sam were watching a movie. It didn’t really bother him that a towel was on the flood since he wasn’t the most tidiest person, but the fact that it was you who put it there. Everything you do drove him crazy.
“What the hell is this?” Dean snapped.
“What are you going on about now?” you sighed, pausing the movie to look at him. Whoops, you must have forgotten to put the towel on the rack when you were done. Your mother always got mad at you for that. Something about how wet towels can grow mold or whatever. You just thought Dean didn't mind all that much.
“You left your towel on the floor, again.”
“I’m sorry, Dean. I forgot to pick it up. I’ll remember next time, okay?” you asked, giving him those big doe eyes of yours. You weren't doing it on purpose, but you stirred something in him that he needed to get out.
“Sam, a word please?”
“Yeah,” he sighed, following his big brother down the hall where they can talk in privacy.
“Strike two, Winchester,” you muttered to yourself as the brothers left.
“I am going nuts here man!”
“It’s just a towel.”
“Yeah, today it’s just a towel. But tomorrow, she could be leaving her… panties everywhere,” he sighed.
“Why don’t you tell her how you feel?”
“How I feel? Oh I feel very annoyed, maybe she might like that.”
“Dean, you know what I mean.”
“Forget it,” he shook his head, throwing the towel into the bathroom before storming off to his room. Sam really hated being in the middle of all this.
“I could really use a wingman, Sammy,” Dean grinned as he put on his jacket.
“No thanks,” he chuckled, taking a look at you. Arms crossed with the attitude, lips pouted. Dean was going out yet again to see if he could get some score for the night while you sit in with Sam doing God knows what.
“Y/N, you sure you don’t want to come?” he asked, looking at you.
“No, go have fun Dean,” you said with a tight-lipped smile.
“Okay. Don’t wait up for me!” he snickered as he left. You couldn’t believe he was actually going out and having fun with single ladies looking for a hookup. Yeah, he was single too, but he was blind if he couldn’t see what he was doing to you.
“You okay, Y/N?” Sam asked.
“Fine, why wouldn’t I be?” The room was filled with silence once more, but you couldn’t control the words that were coming out of your mouth. “I don’t understand why Dean would just go out when he has two perfectly good company right in front of him. All those women are just predators marking their territory. He’s being used, that’s what’s happening and he’s fucking blind.”
“Are you sure you’re okay? You don’t… like Dean do you?” he asked with a grin.
“Psh, you’re out of your mind if you think I’ll like a man like him. No, I bet he has fun with those sluts in tight dresses with their boobs falling out. I hope he has a great time,” you put, your tone suggesting otherwise.
“Right,” Sam smirked, minding his own business, or at least, trying to.
“Okay, I’m off for the night. I won’t be back until tomorrow morning,” Sam said as he slung his laptop bag over his shoulder.
“Have fun,” you muttered, your eyes not leaving the book in front of you.
“Don’t burn down the place,” he sighed as he left. Once the metal door closed, you looked at Dean whose focus was solely on the notebook in front of him. His pen rested on his full bottom lip. The way he clicked it against his lip got you thinking of all sorts of things. He seemed to not know what he was doing, but if he looked over at you he would see it plastered all over his face.
Yes, you had a thing for him, a serious thing, but he could never know that. Normally, you would have ignored him, but this was the going to be the straw that broke the camel’s back. Click. Click. Click. Click-click.
Screw this. He was doing this to you on purpose whether he realized it or not. When you got out of your chair, it scraped against the floor loudly. Dean looked up from his book as he watched you march right over to him. He thought this was going to be another fight about something stupid he was doing, but you only had one thing on your mind.
As soon as you were within touching distance from him, you slapped the pen out of his hand, grabbed his cheeks, and pulled you to him. Planting your lips firmly on his, you kissed him with every ounce of passion within you. As soon as you were going to pull away from him, he grabbed your hips and kept you there as he kissed you back.
With his hunter strength, he pulled you into his lap, fitting your legs around him. He kept you to his lips because now that he’s gotten a taste of you, he doesn’t ever want to taste anything else ever again.
Just you.
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orontes · 5 years
Text
Life Itself (Merlin)
Merlin - short fic, no-plot fic, gen if you want, but you can also ship.
Big Disclaimer: I thought of this while in a hospital bed and then wrote it on painkillers, so don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Other Disclaimers: it’s my first Merlin fic and only my second proper fic after One Road Trip To Palo Alto (SPN). So there XD.
LIFE ITSELF 
Another day in the Kingdom, another instance of Merlin stupidly, bravely jumping in front of Arthur, putting himself between the King and an enemy.  Luckily not a magical enemy, but a terrifying one nonetheless. An ex-knight of the now-defunct kingdom of Cenred recognised them in the forest and ambushed Arthur specifically. Before being struck by Arthur's sword, the fallen knight threw Merlin off his horse, hit him with a mace that, Arthur thought, the servant very skillfully managed to partially avoid, only to be intentionally, cruelly run over by the disgraced warrior on his  horse.
Arthur had no problem in winning the duel, but he saw everything, and everything remained permanently impressed behind his eyelids: he saw Merlin already gripping his arm after being struck by the mace, and then his skull being hit, no stomped on by a horse's hoof, and it had been a terrible sight. He thought Merlin was dead even before he could reach to him.
...
It might be unusual for a King to visit his manservant recovered in the rooms of the court's physician, but Arthur thought it wouldn't be that strange to pay a courtesy visit to any man who tried to put themselves between an armed attacker and his king.
Merlin looked worse than he thought he'd find him. Shirtless, one arm bandaged, probably covered by some tincture under the cloth, so luckily not broken,  but his head was kept firm by two pieces of wood at the sides that clearly had been created for the purpose of not letting it roll left or right. Because Merlin was unconscious and constantly bleeding from his nose. Half of his face was covered by an alarming blue shade, including an eye, even though the eye wasn't swollen or cut. Arthur did not recognise the wound. Actually he couldn't even clearly see a wound. He didn't like this in the least. Next to his face Gaius caught the blood trickling down, using a cloth but very lightly, almost without touching the boy's face. When the physician turned to look at Arthur it was with a heavy expression on his face.
...
"I believe his skull has a hairline fracture: you can't see it dented, but it's there. And I'm not sure if he's just bleeding on the outside, or if there's also an internal bleeding." Arthur actually tried to pay attention instead of immediately looking for a joke on how Merlin always reveals himself to be indestructible. Gaius was talking of internal bleeding...so in his brain?
"I think, sire, that our Merlin... - Gaius didn't even look at him:. he couldn't stop looking  at Hunith's boy, the nephew under his guardianship - ... is... dancing on the fine line between life and death."
Arthur translated again in his head. The man didn't give any solution, any 'unless', any 'let's hope...'. Nothing. Gaius was telling Arthur to prepare himself  to lose Merlin.
Arthur would've wanted to say something more solemn at that moment, but couldn't.
"Gaius, if there's someone who can dance that dance that's Merlin. I bet he's dancing towards life right now. Come on, he's a small-village boy. I bet he knows every kind of dance. 'Cause you can't do much else in Ealdor, that's for sure. He'll make it."
 ...
Arthur called it. Even though Merlin had been unconscious for days, and when he woke up for a moment he seemed to speak another language, mostly to himself, and despite Gaius kicking everybody out of his rooms to leave Merlin alone, as if he was a desperate case, after a few weeks he was on his feet again. Arthur never asked how that was possible.
...
On a dark, moonless night, four men were entering the citadel of the castle of Camelot. Arthur and three trusted knights had been on a recognition mission in foreign territory. That meant no insignia whatsoever with the dragon of  the Pendragons. No red mantels, no dragon-emblazoned insignia on the horses, anonymous swords. Arthur was wearing a dark blue cloak. Almost the whole city was coated in silence, except for a house. This house was modest, long and narrow, in simple, sturdy stones, almost a glorified stable. But it didn't take much to see how it was built with care, precision, love. Warm, yellow light, stuttering music and laughter escaped from the windows, contrasting the cold night with something inviting, familiar, happy. Arthur stopped in front of one of the windows. "See? While we're keeping the kingdom safe the people dance!" but the king was being benevolent. "Is somebody getting married?" Sir Leon politely coughed: "Sire, they threw a party for Merlin, now that he's well. They thought he was really going to die this time." "Merlin?" Arthur paused a moment. "I didn't know  he was so well loved in the outer citadel. Actually I didn't even know people knew him outside of the castle ." Sir Gwain murmured: "Well people came to know, in time, that he has a good heart. He  is willing to help anyone, however he can."
"Huh." Arthur took a step nearer the low window. He thought such a house could host about fifteen people, but he was wrong: there were more like thirty-five or forty. A small group of people to the far end, the narrower side, was intent on ruining musical instruments with a silly popular tune, while assorted people, who looked like farmers, children, working women, servants of the castle, were eating or drinking standing on their feet, along the walls, having preferred to make tables disappear somewhere so that at the center other guests could dance. There were two kinds of dancers: young boys and girls, and more hirsute, round-belly proud owners and definitely drunk men. And there he was: Merlin was looking at the guests, with a cup of untouched ale in his hand, a smile on  his face, when somebody started pushing him at the centre of the only room of the house. They took his cup, he tried to disappear inside his shoulders, with that smirk, that you never knew if it was a polite smile or an all-knowing wise grin, but in the end he had to surrender and quickly joined one of those villagers' dances that look that simple but aren't. Merlin's feet, his long legs, immediately found the rhythm, and effortlessly inserted themselves in the group-dance. Arthur recognised it, but he never had the opportunity to learn it: it was one of those dances in which first every boy dances holding the hand of a girl, and then all of a sudden every dancer is creating a corridor, the arms up in the air creating arches, like the corridor in marble on the lower level of the castle of Camelot, through which other dancers have to run through. It seemed pretty easy, but it wasn't for the older drunk men, who just ran down the middle of the two lines, one of boys the other of girls, and laughing out loud just threw themselves on the wooden floor at the end of their run, thing that apparently was really fun to the other guests, certainly helped in finding amusement in the falls by alcohol. Then the most complicated thing: without missing a beat, every boy found again the hand of a girl, who was right there for them, flying on fast movements of their feet. Nobody bumped into each other, or had one girl too many.
Merlin's feet were so quick that he looked like he weighed less. Never the expression 'light on his feet' fit better. The girls, too, were so fast dancing on their place that it looked like their long skirts were floating on air. The shoulders of the young men, often seen bent on the work, were now straight and graceful, just as graceful were their smiles at each other. Those boots Merlin always wore, his only pair, weren't just made to walk in large rooms in the castle, or rude boots to walk on the forest's paths, but to jump precisely in between rocks in the Valley of the Fallen Kings with dexterity, without breaking an ankle, and, evidently, to dance like a spirit at a party thrown by people who had to wake up and work the next morning. At the crack of dawn.
Leon intervened again "It's a servants party. It would be odd for a king to participate. On the other hand... you are the king so you can do whatever you decide" Arthur didn't need to look at Leon to know that he had a little smile on his face, at this point he could tell from the tone of his voice.
Arthur looked at Merlin again. Dancing effortlessly and bright, surprisingly without tripping on his own stork- legs, as light as some of those unnatural creatures that populated the stories that Arthur was narrated only a few times before it was time to get a sword in his hands, and whose names and adventures indeed now he couldn't remember. He was dancing to life itself as if it were music.
"No, I would shift all the attention to myself. And we need to sleep anyway. Let's hope these people will be able to work tomorrow." The last words elicited some scoffing from the knights. "Let's go."
Arthur moved away from the yellow welcoming light of the house's windows, and in the blue and dark night cut across the central square of the citadel, his light steps and those of the knights the only noise on the cold stones, passed through the equestrian statue, climbed up the stairs and disappeared into the dark, silent entrance of his castle.
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theythemsam · 5 years
Text
spn 10x03, liveblog, collected posts (all 20 of them) or as i like to call it: The best deanmon episode, because Damn, the guy is actually scary in this one.
How tf does one convince a priest to just like… bless some blood please?
#its fun and cool but asdfghj #uhm the people who need the transfusions need… an…. Extra…… blessing….. yes I know all about medicine! 
 “You say you’re fine, but you don’t look fine.” “That’s what the humans do.” Cas learned this bad habit from Sam
#sam Im Fine Winchester
 Listen, I know the show is like “Oh woe, Sammy’s going dark side trying to save his brother, he made Lester sell his soul!” but like I hate Lester, so I don’t feel sad about it
 And considering he did tell Lester to wait and Lester just did it… it’s really not Sam’s fault lmao
 “You might actually be worse than me” no? no he ain’t? Dean you sexually assault women, you kill people, you beat up other people… Sam is not at all the same as you here. Like Sam has gone into grey morality territory and no, it wasn’t okay that he used Lester, but its not worse than what Dean was doing while he was running around freely. If anything Sam saved more lives.
#time for pissed of sam girl hours
 “It cost him his life and his soul” uhhhh nope Deano, it absolutely didn’t, because you did not fulfil the bargain, so it just cost him his life. That douchebag may be dead, but he didn’t go to hell (or at least not for the deal). Stop Lying.
 Crowley having sad flashbacks to the time he spent with Dean… He’s crushing big time
 Dean’s blows against Sam are so low
#ahhhhh #your very existence sucked the life outta my life #and then Sams sad little smile
 “Is this you manning up?” “This is me yanking your lame ass outta the fire.”
#hell yeah! Tell him baby!
 A demonic suicide is honestly the least effective thing… like cool, Crowley would have killed you anyway, now he’s got a nice bonfire to make some marshmallows on
 The very awkward Cas rebuffing Hannah scene is… so awkward…
#i have such bad second hand embarrassment
 Sam looking sadly through Dean’s room… porn mags everywhere… and also for some goddamn reason pie… that’s still good… even though Dean has been gone for /weeks/…
#this pie would be rotting and moldy and just all over that little plastic container #like of all the things they could have put in the room to signify: yeah that’s deans crib #thats how they do it? #magic never going bad pie?
 Asdfgh I love how they just used behind the scene pictures to get happy Winchester pics bc the boys aint ever happy
 Uhhhh Cas with the broken glass halo… Me likey
 The fact that Dean picks the hammer to kill Sam… like it’s so much more intimate and scary of a murder weapon… the choice to bludgeon him to death instead of simply cutting his throat… deanmon really just wants to kill in one of the most horrific ways possible
 The shot of Dean standing in the red-illuminated doorway is So Good
 “Personally, I like the disease” Deanmon has some good lines
#hes also so scary in those scenes #uff I do like that deanmon
 And now we have MoC Dean back
#i actually hate him more than demon dean bc hes just lean mean dean but with guilt issues and pretending to care #and I get caught up in being like aww maybe I do have some dean feels! And then he just does some bs that pisses me off
 “there’s a female outside in the car” what??? Cas just say woman????
 Rowena! Rowena! Rowena! WIFE WIFE WIFE!!!
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watchingspn-blog · 4 years
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spn rewatch | the woman in white (pilot)
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Okay so I can safely say I’ve seen the pilot episode at least half a dozen times, if not more. I got season one on DVD for my 14th birthday (which I 100% binged with my BFF at the time to the point where we were beyond exhausted for my actual birthday festivities the next day) and would watch over and over in the days before Netflix. So for me the first couple of seasons are way more familiar to me than the later seasons. Especially since at some point after I started college when I didn’t have as easy access to television and streaming services weren’t quite what they are today I fell off the bandwagon. Pretty much everything I know about the show from mid-season eight onwards comes from gif sets on Tumblr and the occasional Facebook posts. Which brings me to this rewatch/first time viewing. 
It’s easily been at least three or four years since I’ve watched the pilot but it’s still so familiar to me which I feel like says a lot for the show. Or just says that I was way too obsessed with this show as a teenager. But anyway, here we go.
First of all, I don’t know about anyone else but I’m honestly a little weirded out by seeing JDM looking younger and not having a beard. Like it’s strange to me and I don’t know how to feel about it and I’m glad this is the only scene where he looks like this. The beard does him wonders in all walks of life and I’m glad it’s a look he’s stuck with in just about everything he’s in these days. (Also you can totally see one of JDM’s tattoos under the sleeve of his t-shirt and it just makes me want to headcanon John with a couple tattoos from his time in the service despite looking so clean cut when they have the flashbacks with Matt Cohen.)
Secondly, I want to know when they came up with the backstory that Mary was a hunter and came from a family of hunters and that she’d been in that life before she settled down with John. Because I feel like if that backstory had been mapped out before the pilot her reactions when she woke up to the baby monitor would be more suspicious. But that could also be me just being too picky. Like it’s totally valid that Mary, just waking up didn’t pick up on the static or the flickering lights. I just want to know if they’d had her history in mind when this started or if that came up later once they’d developed the story and characters more. 
Okay, so I don’t have any major attachments to Jess, mainly because we just don’t spend enough time with her. She’s got a whole three (?) scenes where she’s mostly delegated to the supportive girlfriend who’s also over-sexualized. Like they seriously chose to introduce a female character and have all of her outfits be revealing to the point where other characters are commenting on it before killing her. Like I have no issues with female characters wearing whatever the fuck they want, there’s nothing wrong with that. But it wasn’t given any more depth than “here’s this sexual object for our audience to look at” and that’s what bugs me. But I am glad that they showed her being genuinely concerned when Sam is packing like wanting to make sure he’s okay and make sure he’s not doing something reckless for people who’ve actively avoided being in his life over the last few years. She’s incredibly supportive of Sam and it makes me happy that he had that in his life even if I do hate that it was taken away in a horribly gruesome way.
Adrianne Palicki is just ridiculously talented and deserves way more recognition than she’s gotten over the years. 
Now, I’m gonna be real. I was a Dean girl from the get go. I loved me a smartass bad boy when I was thirteen and I was head over heels for Jensen Ackles from the first time I saw this show (probably because I’d never seen him anything else before but I already knew Jared as Dean from Gilmore Girls who wasn’t my favorite as a middle schooler). It also probably doesn’t hurt that I saw an episode of season two as my first intro to the show instead of the pilot. Because honestly, watching his first scene as a 26 year old, he doesn’t come off in the best light. Between breaking into Sam’s apartment, their whole tussle in the dark living room, and then him hitting on Jess right in front of Sam, he’s kind of an ass. Which yes, Dean is not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. All of these characters are fucked up, especially after fourteen seasons and counting. But this just doesn’t line up with how Dean is in the rest of season one even, I feel like. 
Like Dean telling Jess that she’s way out of Sam’s league is one thing. I expect nothing less from him. But then him just being creepy and ogling her is just uncomfortable to watch now. 
Also the lighting budget for the entire first season is just horrendous. It’s like they wanted to show that they were scary and edgy but really it just meant I couldn’t make out what was happening in any scene that didn’t take place in broad daylight. 
Okay, on to the spooks. Having a woman in white for the first MOTW (monster of the week) was kind of cool to me because it was something I actually knew about before the show, thanks to reading any and every book on ghosts my school library had to offer. And Sarah Shahi is super gorgeous. Like hot damn. And as cheesy as some of the effects are in the earlier episodes, I actually like the way that she kind of flickers in and out along the side of the road as Troy’s driving up and then the way you don’t actually see her in the passenger seat when it shows her getting in. None of the effects are too crazy over the top (at least not until the very end of the episode when she finally goes home and has that weird as fuck death scene with her creepy kids) and it works.
As a thirteen year old, I thought it was totally believable that Sam and Dean could be US marshals and the local cops were just being jerks. As a twenty-six year old, the idea that those two could pass as any kind of law enforcement other than like maybe a couple of rookie cops is ridiculous. I’m the same age that Dean was at the start of the show and I’ve got people assuming I’m still in high school. I couldn’t get past the crime scene tape for anything. But I guess if you’re confident enough and tall enough, anything’s possible. Also as if they didn’t already look hella conspicuous, they act like a couple of five year olds with all their stomping and smacking, like no wonder the cops were suspicious. 
Also can we take a moment to appreciate the awesome mid-2000s goth look Amy and her friend are rocking? Because it’s fantastic and I’m here for it. Also kudos to them for being the only women to make it to the end of the episode alive. 
I never really thought about it when I was younger but it’s not surprising that Sam isn’t as gung ho about hunting down the demon that killed Mary like John and Dean are. His memories of Mary are entirely built on stories and pictures and not from anything he actually remembers himself. And like it’s totally valid for him to want to get away from the hunter lifestyle and follow a different path instead of just killing monsters and running credit card scams for the rest of his life. 
All I can think about when they break into the room John was renting is that gif of Charlie from Always Sunny with all the papers and strings on the walls. 
One of the better aspects of Supernatural, in my opinion, are the actors they get to randomly guest star on the show. And not necessarily big names (although those can be fun) but like the ones that you’ve never seen anywhere else. Because the guy who plays Joseph Welch is fantastic in his one scene on screen. There’s so much emotion there as he’s talking about a clearly sensitive subject and being able to show the grief and also some of the guilt over being unfaithful. It’s a fantastic scene so like major shoutout to Steve Railsback for being awesome.
The whole showdown with Constance’s ghost is kind of like mediocre compared to future fights. Like it’s a pretty quick scene and the effects once they actually get her to the house to face her creepy children are kind of the worst. Like they used their whole special effects budget doing that flickering thing in her first scene and had to settle for this instead. Also like yes they stopped her and she won’t be able to kidnap and kill skeezy men in the future but like I feel kind of bad for Amy and Troy’s family because they’re just left with zero closure whatsoever. Like I never thought about it but there are a lot of people over the years where it’s like yes we stopped the monster but those families never actually know what happened to their loved ones. 
Okay, I get that it’s supposed to be a serious, intense scene, and the first time I saw it - yes it was shocking and heartbreaking and terrifying but the effects for Jess’s appearance on the ceiling are just bad. She doesn’t look like a person, she looks like a mannequin. And I’m still annoyed that they brought her in and showed how much her and Sam loved and cared for each other only to kill her horribly at the end of the episode. It’s just frustrating. And honestly this should’ve warned all of us that pretty much no female character is safe on this show. None of them. 
The “we’ve got work to do” at the end is still hella iconic. Like there’s a couple of lines that still give me that little excitement I got when I first watched it and that’s one of them. I love it. 
BODY COUNT: 3 humans (Mary Winchester, Troy Squire, Jessica Moore), 1 ghost (Constance Welch - do her kids count too? They didn’t really show up until was time for Constance to like melt into the floor all creepy like)
RATING: 7/10 - the effects are kind of garbage and there’s some stuff that hasn’t aged well but I still think this is one of the better pilots I’ve seen as far as getting you hooked into the story and characters. 
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