#anyway OP thank you for asking it made me think so much and I really respect you and posing the question in an intelligent

[levi-my-beloved]

Chapter One: The Ackerbond Begins

Pairing: Canon!Levi x F!Reader

Warnings: none for this chapter, canon typical violence

A/N: this is the start of something i'm extremely excited about, go thank @levmada for this entire mini series. AND PLEASE THANK @peace-for-levi FOR BETA READING FOR ME AND PUTTING UP WITH MY CONSTANT ADJUSTMENTS AND RANDOMLY ADDING SCENES. pls you deserve so much for this <3

It started with nothing but a kernel of anxiety. An instinctual glance on an expedition. Well less of an expedition and more one of Hange’s insanity-fuelled capture missions. They’d somehow managed to convince Erwin to try again, despite the losses of last time’s attempt. Granted, it had taken a few hours of begging and pleading, and maybe Hange called in a few favours, but the look on their face when they’d finally pried a yes from your commander really was priceless.

“Wait… he actually said yes?” you couldn’t tame the disbelief in your tone. How the fuck Hange had managed it, you would never know, but you were impressed with their powers of persuasion. You doubted the crazed look in their eye would have helped their case, and yet here you were. Your boots echoed down the hall in an uneven rhythm, Hange borderline skipping back to the communal lounge. “So, who’s the unfortunate squad then?” you asked, a small smirk playing on your lips.

Until Hange stopped skipping, and turned to you a little sheepishly. “I uh– about that…”

You gawked. “Hange… tell me you didn’t,” though you already knew the truth. You’d made them promise before they went to their meeting that they wouldn’t volunteer your squad. Though you were more than willing to help, you knew for a fact your captain would be less than pleased. “Hange you promised! I can’t believe you did that!”

“I didn’t have a choice! Anyway, Shorty will say yes, he always does to me!” You rolled your eyes fondly, that smile returning to your face. It was a fact that Levi often had trouble saying no to Hange, and even when he did say no, he would usually end up helping whatever they were trying to accomplish. You found it rather sweet honestly. 

“And how exactly do you plan on telling him?” 

Hange turned sheepish again, scratching the back of their head. “Actually, I was, rather hoping you could do that for me. You know, I’m always so busy with the lab and experiments and creating new gear and–”

“No. Do it yourself.” You folded your arms, tone flat as you watched Hange’s expression turn desperate.

“C’mon, please? You know you’re his favourite!”

“He doesn’t have favourites.”

“But if he did it would totally be you!”

“Hange, I’m not doing your dirty work, tell him yourself. And stop trying to sweet talk me!” you laughed in disbelief.

“Pleeeeaaaaase? I’ll do anything!”

You paused, raising a brow of intrigue, thinking for a moment. This kind of an offer didn’t happen everyday, and you briefly entertained the multitude of possibilities. “Anything?”

“Yes, anything!” 

“Take a fucking bath.” And with that, you turned on your heel, striding down the hall. It clearly took the madman a second to process what you’d said, before their loud excited shriek echoed behind you.

“YAHOOOOO! I OWE YA!” And despite the fact you’d given in, you couldn’t help your small chuckle at their antics. You could see why Levi’s will was often bent when it came to Hange. There really was something about them you couldn’t say no to. 

Rounding the corner at the end of the hall, you open the door to the communal lounge, expelling a heavy breath before looking up, and realising there were four pairs of eyes trained on you, clearly having been in the middle of a card game. A bottle of half-empty whiskey and four glasses told you they’d been waiting for your return. You gave your squad an apologetic smile, before locking eyes with Eld and gesturing for him to accompany you. Your squad eyed you both a little suspiciously, but it wasn’t uncommon for you to confide in the blonde. He was the only soldier who’d been in the Special Ops squad for as long as you had. He was always the first to make newcomers feel welcome, a stark contrast to Oluo’s ‘I’m better than you’ schtick. Level-headed and kind, Eld had always been a safe space for you. And honestly, if he wasn’t a taken man, you may have tried your luck. You’d wanted to in the past.

Slipping back out the door, you leant against the wall behind you, pinching your brow between your thumb and forefinger. The beginnings of a headache had started to throb at the base of your skull, your shoulders tensing and relaxing as if trying to get rid of the ache. 

“Oh, you don’t look great…” you raised your eyes to the blonde as he shut the door behind him, mirroring your stance on the opposite side. You saw him almost grimace at your appearance. Did you really look that tired? You blew out a breath. You would examine your dark circles later.

“Sooooo, we’re going to be accompanying Hange on their suicide mission.” You stated flatly. Always better to be blunt in the Survey Corps. A habit most soldiers pick up. There’s never any time to faff about on the battlefield, so conveying information quickly and bluntly was the best way forward. 

Eld baulked, eyes bugging at the mere suggestion. “Why haven’t we been told? And why are you the only one who knows? Doesn’t the Captain want us to– oh.” You watched his features slack on horrified understanding. “He doesn’t know… does he?” You shook your head, eyes now trained on the floorboards in distressed thought. Sure, you’d always been able to go to Levi for anything in the past, but you weren’t worried about yourself in this situation. You were more worried about him, and how he would most likely have to disinfect his foot after shoving it so far up Hange’s ass.

“And I'm the one who has to tell him.” You finished your bad news, picking at your lips until you felt the satisfying pull of loose skin. Eld grimaced again, before blowing out a tense breath and running his hand through his sandy hair. 

“Honestly, rather you than me. But I’m sure you’ll be fine, he’s never snapped at you before and you’ve been here longer than me.” You huffed a small laugh.

“Not that much longer, but it’s not me I'm worried about. He’s already got so much on his plate, Eld, I didn’t wanna add this as well. Do you ever see the man take a break? I had to take some food leftover from lunch today because he didn’t show up. He’s working himself to death and now he has to deal with this? I fucking told Hange not to volunteer us for this specific reason and now–”

“Hey, take a breath. You’re fine. Hange does what they want, there’s not a lot you can do now.” Eld’s reassuring tone put you at ease slightly, a hand on your shoulder sapping some of the tension in your muscles. You already knew there was nothing you could do, but it was still comforting to hear it from someone else. “Do you want one of us to tell him? I could ask Petra, she’s always on good terms with him. I don’t think Oluo would be a good idea though…” 

“Nah, it’s okay, I’ll do it. Besides, if I don’t, Hange won’t take a bath so-” you shrugged as if it was the most obvious reason in the world.

“Uh, what?” you laughed at your comrade’s quizzical expression, before patting his hand on your shoulder.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll catch up with you guys later, gotta march to my death. Ya know, ‘Dedicate your heart’ and all that.” You gave him a mock salute, a tired, lopsided smile. Eld laughed at your display, his brow raised in amused pity.

“Not sure this is what the Commander means when he says that but good luck soldier! And let us know what happens if you come out alive!” He called after you, before laughing heartily when you flipped him as you walked back down the hallway, back to the barracks and the superior’s quarters.

Levi actively couldn’t remember the last time he stood up today. Or walked anywhere. Or looked away from the stack of papers taller than wall Maria. Since the last expedition, he’d been caged in by the almost impressive amount of paperwork he’d been loaded with. Lists of damaged equipment and endless scrawls of the soldier’s they belonged to, as well as accounts of cargo and supplies lost, wagon replacement orders and some ridiculous request for more alcohol – why drink alcohol when tea tasted better? – He hadn’t seen hide nor hair of human life today, only a soft knock on his door which he didn’t hear, until his stomach growled so loud he swore the civilians in the neighbouring city would have heard it. Ah, that was the last time he stood up. When he left to grab himself some food only to find a tray at the foot of his door. Lukewarm rice, tea that was somehow still hot, and a small bread roll. 

He still didn’t know who to thank for that. 

So he almost didn’t know how to respond when there was another knock on his door, though for some reason he was stressed as fuck. It wasn’t like he had done anything other than sign his name a thousand times today, so why the fuck did he feel so goddamn–

“Enter.”

It was as if someone had just soothed a cooling balm over a throbbing welt the moment you stepped through the door. Your familiar presence drawing attention to his newfound longing for human interaction. Even Hange would have been a welcome sight, but you were a blessing. Even with those almost bruise-like circles beneath your eyes. “You look about as tired as I feel.” He commented flatly, resting his elbows on his desk. Levi waved off your obligatory salute, wanting to remind you that you never needed to be so formal with him after hours. Considering how long you’d known each other, it felt a little strange. 

“Trust me Captain, you look as tired as you feel.” You quipped, prompting a short huff of amusement, before he really looked at you. Shit, he could fucking smell the anxiety off you. Picking at the loose skin around your cuticles, shifting from foot to foot. Levi raised a brow.

“Well? I assume you didn’t come in here to insult my appearance. What’s going on?” whilst he enjoyed your company, your current presence was simply worsening his own stress. Seeing you fidget so much was… uncommon to say the least.

You took a breath. “I thought you should probably know we’ll be assisting Hange in their next attempt to capture a titan.” 

The room fell silent. Static.

“What?” It was less of a ‘what did you say?’ and more of a ‘you’ve got to be fucking joking.’ kind of question.

“Commander Erwin just approved it and uh, it seems your squad was somewhat volunteered… by Hange.” You braced yourself. Not once had you ever seen Levi blow up, but you know it was a possibility. Though he had a tight rein on his emotions, nobody was immune to this kind of thing. Not even him.

“So why are you in here telling me instead of Four Eyes?” Levi queried, his patience for today thinning. 

“A few reasons, I’d imagine. Most likely self preservation, but we struck a deal. I would be the one to tell you.”

“And in return?”

You flashed a small smirk. “They’d take a bath.” 

Levi nodded in approval, as if Hange taking a bath was the only thing that would have been an appropriate deal to make. Picking up his pen, he set back to the documents in front of him, mindlessing poring over the now amorphous ink stains. “You’re dismissed.” He left it as long as he could before dismissing you, though he didn’t really know why, or whether it was just subconscious. 

You nodded, eyeing the insanely tall stacks of paperwork haphazardly positioned on his desk. They were almost comically big, and you couldn’t help stifling a laugh at the thought of them actually being taller than your captain. But empathy opened your heart, watching him have to reread a few sentences before moving on with tired understanding. With a heavy sigh and one final thought to your waiting tumbler of whiskey with your squad, you pulled up the spare chair in his office and sat on the opposite side of his desk.

Levi glanced up, raising a brow of quizzical suspicion. Though there had been a few times before you’d helped him with his paperwork, usually it was scheduled, and he’d asked for your assistance. This just felt like you were either avoiding someone, or feeling some kind of guilt. And he honestly? He couldn’t think of anything worse.

“The hell are you doing?” He couldn’t keep the sharpness from his tone, eyes narrowing as you all but stole a pen from his stash.

“Literally? Committing major fraud by forging your signature on multiple legal documents containing sensitive information about Scout operations. Actually? Lessening your workload so you might actually get more than twenty six minutes’ sleep tonight.” You took the first document from the largest stack you’d split in half without looking up, instantly scanning the paper for a vague understanding of what the hell you were about to sign for him.

“Why…?” 

You paused, looking up from your first document of the night with a soft smile. “‘Because you look about as tired as I feel.’” You quoted, expression softening. Levi looked at you, his steel eyes widening a fraction as he saw no hint of deception. He’d lied to himself earlier, he could think of something worse. The slight suggestion that you actually wanted to help him, or worse still… that you wanted to spend time with him. 

“...It was thirty nine, actually.”

“Sorry?”

“Thirty nine minutes of sleep. Not twenty six.” Your laughter warmed his heart, and Levi found himself enjoying the sound far too much for his own good. That quirk in your lips, that soft pinch of your brow… He had to look away. This was extremely unprofessional of him.

“I wouldn’t say you’re a champion of sleep, even with those extra thirteen minutes. So let me help.” you implored, holding his gaze until he gave in. Which didn’t take nearly as long as you thought it would.

“Tch, do what you want.” Levi shrugged, going back to his own parchment that had been all but abandoned upon your sudden arrival. 

“Besides, since we’re helping Hange tomorrow, we’ll need our captain at his best.” You tried to sweeten the blow with a compliment, though it seems your efforts fell short the second he jerked his head back up.

“Tomorrow?”

“Yeah… didn’t I mention that?” you chuckled a little sheepishly, and suddenly you knew how Hange felt earlier.

“No, strangely enough, you failed to mention that.” Not that Levi could be mad at you. You would probably have to straight up murder somebody for him to be angry with you, and even then he would ask if you were okay first. Either murder somebody, or track mud through his freshly mopped floors. Levi sighed, accepting his fate. “Why do you enjoy hanging out with them so much anyway?” It wasn’t an insult, not that you could tell. More like genuine curiosity thinly veiled with slight disdain.

“They’re fun, I guess, despite them being borderline clinically insane. It’s a welcome change from the melancholic atmosphere after an expedition. They help chase the shadows away.” Your eyes emptied for a moment, a ghost-like expression haunting your features, and for a second Levi could see every friend, every comrade, every brother and sister you’d lost. Something in him shifted drastically, though imperceptibly.

“We need tea.” The life reentered your eyes as you huffed a laugh, quirking your brow slightly. You didn’t realise you would be helping him for so long, but now you’re here, you can’t say you were discouraged at the idea.

“That we do.”

“You’re doing it wrong.”

“No I’m not, I’m doing it exactly how you were doing it.”

“She says; not doing it the way I did it.”

“Do you want tea or not?”

“Not if you’re gonna do it so wrong.”

You huffed in irritation. When Levi suggested getting some tea, you did not expect it to become some kind of intensive training session where he taught you how to properly steep tea leaves for fuck sakes. Slamming the spoon down on the counter, you fixed him with a glare.

“Are you going to let me do this?”

Levi didn’t back down. “It’s going to taste like pig piss, you know that, right?”

“No it won’t! It’ll taste fine, I’m doing it exactly how you showed me, look!” What Levi saw was almost the exact opposite of what he showed you. It was borderline violent, thrashing the spoon around in the brew, dunking in the leaves like you were interrogating them. What he showed you took finesse, a delicate touch. Not… whatever the hell this was. He couldn’t help but flinch with each forceful tug on the silky bag. Though your determination was something to be admired. And he couldn’t help but admire you.

“Move, let me.” Levi moved to take your place at the counter, having to bite his tongue to stifle his amusement as you grumbled, clearly disgruntled with your tea making performance. Clicking his tongue, he surveyed the absolute massacre you’d made, and his heart clenched woefully at the waste of leaves. “This shit isn’t cheap, so quit wasting it. Now I gotta start again.”

You folded your arms in petulance, pouting an apology before actually feeling bad for wasting one of his few indulgences. You knew it was more of a comfort blanket for him than anything else. Sure, the flavour was good, but nobody could love tea this much, right? You’d rarely spoken about his past; he would simply say he didn’t remember much whenever the topic arose. And you could never tell if that was the truth, or simply an excuse. A defence mechanism. The only thing you knew was that it wasn’t pleasant, and it was nothing short of miraculous that he’d made it out. 

Making a mental note to pop into town and buy some more, you shuffled back over to the counter, resting your elbow on the surface and perching your chin atop the heel of your palm, now watching with renewed curiosity as Levi steeped tea like a craftsman. “See the difference?” 

You rolled your eyes at the slight teasing in his tone -still a little pouty from before -until he shoved the brew under your nose and you couldn’t help but be enticed by the flowery, bitter aroma. It reminded you of his office, you noticed. “Thanks.” You raised your eyes in gratitude, only for your expression to fall flat at the slightest smug pull to his lips.

“That is how it’s supposed to taste. Not like some diluted shit-water.”

“Okay okay I get it! I made the tea wrong.” You conceded, holding your hands up in cease-fire.

“You butchered it.” There wasn’t much Levi felt comfortable enough to tease you about. Your weird habit to talk to the inanimate objects around you was one thing, and now your utterly pathetic tea-making skills. So of course he was about to run this joke into the ground. 

“What do you want me to do? Go back in time and un-butcher it?”

“Pretty sure it was about to confess if you’d held it under a few more times.”

“Oh ha-ha, pick up a brush and paint me a landscape, then we’ll see who’s better than who.” You both stopped, frozen in your accidental slip up. Not a single soul in the Scouts knew of your little hobby, and you’d just fucking told your captain. You felt heat flood to your cheeks as you looked away, suddenly extremely interested in your drink.

Levi stopped to process his sudden, thundering heartbeat. How didn’t he know that about you? He made it his business to know everything about his squad, including Gunther’s affiliation for collecting the most cursed trinkets he could find in the marketplace and meticulously placing them around the HeadQuarters. But not once had this ever come up. “You paint?” 

The sound you made was like nothing he’d ever heard. Something akin to that of a small rodent caught in a trap as you still refused to look at him. “No…?” You sounded almost hopeful that he would believe you, but that sharp brow raise told you otherwise. “Uh, not really. Or not as much as I used to. So occasionally. When I feel like it. Which is sometimes. I, yeah, sometimes.” You cracked your fingers, not really knowing what to do or where to look or how to escape this godforsaken situation you’d stumbled ass backwards into.

The strangest warmth enveloped his chest, his heart fluttering in weird ways at how you suddenly became very humble and bashful. He’d never seen you ramble before, never seen you lose your composure like that. It’s why he trusted you with everything when he was away. Because you could keep a level head. But this was something he didn’t think anyone had seen before. He tried unsuccessfully to squash the privileged feeling, but he couldn’t help it. 

“You any good?” You exhaled an uncomfortable breath, chewing on your bottom lip slightly, still refusing to meet your captain’s curious yet sharp eyes.

“What? No! No, not really. Besides, it’s not like I have the time anyway. I usually paint most in the winter, when we don’t have expeditions to worry about. It does mean most of my canvases remain white but, ya know, less to do that way.” You joked awkwardly, finally gathering the courage to raise your gaze from your teacup, only to become trapped in his. Snared in a net of iced flecked steel, you’d never seen him look so at ease. So soft. No crease in his brow, no pout in his lips. He looked peaceful for once, and you found yourself quickly becoming addicted. 

“ ‘That mean if I was to pick up a brush, I would be better than you?” 

You huffed an incredulous laugh at the flicker of mischief in his eye, unable to stop your own honest grin despite your faux offence. “I wouldn’t say that…'' you folded your arms, fixing him with an accusatory glare that held no venom, but rather veiled enjoyment, almost daring him to quip back. 

But his eyes freely roamed your features, only now noticing the proximity. Everything about you seemed flawless. Everything apart from…

“You’ve been picking at your lips again,” he murmured, taking note of the slight raw redness to your lips, and the way your faux glare softened away to nothing. He knew for a fact that if he were to kiss you, he’d taste blood. Though he wondered what else he would taste. What did you taste like? Probably sweet, like the smell of orange blossom, or maybe something fresher, like dewy grass. Would he be able to taste the tea you just drank? Or would you–

Wait. What the fuck was he talking about?

“Uh, yeah, force of habit,” you looked away, and it took every fibre of self control Levi had not to gently grasp your chin and turn you back to look at him. Fuck, had his heart always skipped beats like this? It was racing so fast he felt as if he had two.

“You should probably get something on them, it looks sore.” Keeping his voice steady was no small feat. Not when he felt his very soul shake with your presence so near him. He was so close to running his thumb gently over your mouth, wanting to soothe the obvious discomfort.

And he would have done, had your little moment not been shattered by a throaty cough, and the arrival of a not so subtle Hange.

“Evening.” Never in your life had you been more conflicted. On the one hand, you were so glad that the conversation was over, and that your heart could stop exploding. But on the other hand…

You were rather enjoying it.

Levi, however, couldn’t have clenched his jaw any harder. For if he did, it was likely he wouldn’t have any teeth left. Shifting his eyes to the left, he had to physically restrain himself from not lunging to throttle them. Leaning up against the counter like that, who the fuck did they think they were? “You don’t smell like the stables, special occasion?” 

You snorted a laugh into your tea, jerking back as the liquid splashed slightly.

“Only if you count tomorrow’s big day! You better have told him, ``I don't want to have taken a bath for nothing!” Hange’s address turned to you, and you nodded with a sharp eye roll.

“Yeah, I told him, glad to smell you held up your end of the deal.” You raised your cup in appreciation, taking a large sip of your drink. Just as you’d suspected, it tasted exactly the same as when you would make it yourself. And you only just managed to stop yourself from bringing it up again. 

Hange paused, and from their eager, cheeky expression, you knew before they even said anything they were about to cause trouble. “What were you two talking about? It looked intense. Prolonged eye-contact and all that.” It was your turn to tense your jaw, though keeping your indifferent façade, you raised a brow.

“Squad formations and pair ups. Whether Oluo and Petra would make a good team or whether she would get pissed off with his pathetic flirting attempts. Since both myself and Gunther work so well with Eld, we were discussing whether it was worth starting trio attack training.” Levi’s eyes widened a fraction as you lied so effortlessly. He couldn’t help but wonder whether you’d ever lied to him, since you did it so smoothly. Maybe that one time he’d stumbled on you and Petra having a private conversation in the corner of the communal lounge. You’d told him then you were discussing gas saving tactics… Was that even true?

Hange visibly deflated, much to your shared relief. “Oh. Well I guess that is quite intense. Care to share?” Levi’s heart did that weird fluttery thing when your smile held very little genuinity. You looked satisfied, almost smug, and it did things to him. Things he couldn’t pinpoint. 

“No. You sprung the mission tomorrow on us, I think we’ll keep this til the last possible moment as well.” 

“Pleeeeeaaaaaase? Levi?” Hange turned to the raven next to you, only to find a similar answer.

“Don’t look at me, not my tactics. She’s the brains behind them, not me. I just approve them.” You had to fight tooth and nail to keep yourself from smiling at that, from smiling at him. 

“But I’m your favourite!”

“I don’t have favourites.” 

You barked a laugh. “Told ya. Anyway, Hans, shouldn’t you be preparing for tomorrow? Getting your equipment ready and maybe checking the failsafes…?” You watched Hange hop up onto the counter, much to Levi’s visible disgust. You assumed, no matter how many times they took a bath, they would never be clean in his eyes.

“Oh! Moblit’s on it. He didn’t trust me enough to make sure everything worked properly.”

“I wonder why…” Levi muttered sarcastically, prompting you to send a ‘be nice’ glance his way. Only to be returned with a glance of ‘piss off’. 

“Poor guy. You should probably buy him a drink or ten as compensation. Pretty sure he should be on some kind of medication for all the heart attacks you give him.” You leaned up against the counter behind you, resting your elbows on the surface. You kind of wished you were somewhere a little comfier but, it’s rare Levi ever joined you and your squad in the lounge, usually opting instead to hide away in his office. 

“He’s fiiiiiine, he just worries too much!”

“Knowing you, Hange, I think he worries an adequate amount for his situation.” Levi muttered, the lower half of his face covered by his obscure hold on the teacup. This wasn’t exactly the evening he had planned, and despite feeling as if something had been ruined earlier, he couldn’t deny he was secretly enjoying himself. When else would he get the chance to just, spend some time away from his work… with you… and Hange, of course. 

“It’s his job to worry so I don’t have to! Don’t you worry for Levi so he doesn’t have to?” they asked you, eyes wide with genuine curiosity.

“I worry about him, there’s a difference, Hans. This doesn’t lead to heart failure.”

“Just headaches and lack of sleep,”

“Pretty sure Moblit suffers from that as well.”

It was almost as if he wasn’t in the room anymore. Levi barely managed to stop his head snapping in your direction. You worried about him? How long had you done that? Why the hell did you worry about him? Did you know he worried for you too? All the damn time? And especially when you looked like you hadn’t slept in the last twenty years and your lips were bitten to shit?

“Anyway! We should really get back to work. Was nice talking to ya, Hans, even if you betrayed me today.” You narrowed your eyes in playful irritation, grinning when they shrugged with indifference.

“Come on, you would have helped out anyway, neither of you can ever say no to me. I’m just that great!”

“Great pain in my ass.”

You laughed at the quiet comment from Levi, draining your cup of tea before placing it back on the counter with a soft clink. Without having to look to your left, you knew Levi had done the same. The original plan was to take tea back to work with you, but this had been a welcome change. You would never get tired at the banter between Hange and Levi, and you completely understood why there were so many rumours about them. Hell, even you were starting to suspect something deeper ran between them. You would even believe it, if not for the fact  Hange was usually tied to Moblit’s hip. Now there was definitely something going on there.

“See you tomorrow! Bright and early, I want this over and done with in the morning so I can get started on the fun part!” Hange’s eyes seemed to glaze over with some kind of deranged excitement, and you were half expecting them to start drooling.

You shivered despite yourself. Sometimes they really were terrifying.

Saying your farewells, you prepared yourself for another few hours of paperwork, stretching your fingers as you walked side by side back to Levi’s office. The silence wasn’t tense, but instead static. Like he had something to say but was holding off for one reason or another. You wanted to pry it from his lips, but you also knew that would simply discourage him from saying anything.

It took almost the entire walk back to his office for Levi to finally speak up, quelling the irritating stuttering in his chest. It was becoming really fucking annoying. “You worry about me?”

You stopped just short of his door, tilting your head with a quirked brow. “Yes? Why do you sound so surprised? Of course I worry about you,” you spoke as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. But of course, to Levi, it wasn’t, and after his prolonged silence, you started to worry you’d overstepped a boundary. “I worry about everyone.” It was a quick fix, but believable enough. You did have a tendency to stress about your comrades.

It wasn’t that Levi was disappointed. No, that couldn’t have been it. It was natural for you to worry about everyone. It was in your nature. It was just a testament to how much you cared about everyone. So why the hell did he suddenly feel weirdly hollow?

“I see.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to–”

“It’s fine.”

Now, this was an awkward silence. You shifted on your feet slightly, having absolutely no idea how to proceed from here. Levi’s hand rested on the door handle, but he made no move to push it open. He just stared at you, scrutinising. And shit was it uncomfortable.

Levi found himself stuck in a strange limbo, so caught up in his head he didn’t realise how fucking weird he was being. He was trying to decipher you, like some impossible enigma. Trying to see your hidden messages in the valleys and hills of your face, in the confusing, swirling smoke of your eyes. It was only when you cleared your throat did he blink back to reality to see you awkwardly looking around.

What the fuck was he doing?

“Ah, we should probably get on with–”

“Get some sleep.” He said your name harsher than he meant to. He didn’t mean for that to sound like a thinly veiled ‘fuck off’, but from the way you looked like he’d just struck you, he could safely assume the real message of ‘I can’t worry about you tomorrow so I need you rested and ready’ was lost in translation. Levi didn’t know why he was surprised.

You saluted stiffly, gritting your teeth against your confused hurt. You knew later on tonight, most likely when you were in bed and couldn’t sleep, you would be going over this conversation over and over again, agonising over the exact moment you fucked up and pushed him back into his shell after working so hard to coax him out of it.

“Yes sir.” Unable to think of anything else to say, you turned on your heel and strode back down the hall, not wanting to think about this exchange until you were at least out of eyesight. 

Your smooth transition from your softer, more domestic self, to the soldier he knew he could always rely on gave him whiplash. He couldn’t help but wonder whether everything that had happened this evening was either a manifestation of his own lack of sleep, or if he was seeing some kind of link between you two that simply wasn’t there. But he couldn’t explain, or shake, the stabbing twist in his chest. 

Levi was no stranger to pain, but this was another breed of hurt altogether. One he’d never experienced before.

And one he hoped he would never experience again.

Hange wasn’t kidding when they said bright and early. You guessed it was sometime near 4:30 in the morning when a sharp knock rapped on your door, jolting you awake. You heard the groan of your disgruntled roommate below you, and two groggy curses from your other two roommates opposite. Swinging your head down, you saw the slightest tuft of ginger hair from beneath clean linens. 

“I guess I’ll get it, shall I? We all have to be up anyway, lazy sods.” You grumbled amicably, clambering down from your bunk. You had half a mind to tear Nifa’s bed cover off her sleeping form, spill water over Petra’s submerged head and rip Nanaba’s pillow from under her. But, you decided to be nice this morning. You loved these girls dearly. Though most of you came from separate squads, you’d formed a tight knit bond with each other, and one you knew wouldn’t so easily be broken.

Padding over to the door, you cracked it open to see Eld’s own tired visage. Hair loose dishevelled, sleep still plaguing his eyes, you just managed to stop yourself from laughing. 

“Mornin’ you. Ready to go catch some titans?” You wiped the sleep from beneath your eyes, sighing a long, heavy breath of discontent. 

“No, and from the sounds of it, you aren’t either. How long do we have?” You asked, casting a glance back inside your room only to find all three girls, now wide awake, grinning at you slyly.

“About half an hour. When Hange volunteered us for this gig, this was not what I was expecting.” Eld ran a hand down the side of his face, before sliding it back up his cheek and through his sandy locks. You always forgot just how long his hair was when it wasn’t up in a bun. He looked strange with it down, though oddly refreshing.

“Tell me about it. Alright, we’ll be out in fifteen max. No doubt the Captain wants to brief us quickly.” You were surprised at your own venom when you said that. Even Eld looked a little taken aback, eyeing you with suspicion. You hadn’t meant to spit his name like that, it was sort of an involuntary response to the way he treated you last night. You had, of course, mulled it over time and time again before you finally managed to get to sleep, and you still couldn’t figure out where you went wrong. So you were safe to assume you didn’t. And he’s just an asshole. Yeah, that must be it.

“Gotcha, Gunther and Oluo are already up too so we’ll see you in the courtyard in fifteen, yeah?”

“Sounds good. Cheers for the wake-up call.” You slowly shut the door, turning back to the three pairs of eyes all trained on you. Even Petra - sleepy, ‘don’t wake me up or I’ll murder you’ Petra - was wide awake, as if she had been for hours. “What?”

“Just fuck him and get it over with. We could smell the sexual tension from here.”

“Gross, Nana.” Petra quipped.

“Really, it’s just embarrassing at this point.” She continued, clambering down from her top bunk.

“Even I can see there’s something between you two. Hasn’t he made any moves yet?” Nifa asked innocently, curiously tilting her head from the comfort of her blankets.

You folded your arms a little defensively. Sure, you used to have a crush on the man, you’re not immune to charm and good looks, but that was an extremely long time ago. Before you actually knew him. That wouldn’t stop him from being one of your greatest friends, but any romantic feelings you may have once felt had been squashed. He simply wasn’t your type. 

“No, strangely enough, because he’s engaged and we’re also nothing but close friends.”

“Strange how you mentioned him being engaged first.” Petra wiggled her eyebrows, retrieving a shirt from your shared chest of drawers. 

“You’re acting like you having been fucking Oluo on the sly. It’s normal for her to be out late, she has more duties than the rest of us,” –you nodded in mock gratefulness to Nanaba’s reference to you as her– “but for you, Pet? Yeah, obviously you’re out fucking somebody, and the only one who’s interest you’ve entertained is Oluo. So, I deduce–”

“Well, what about you and Miche? Huh? What’s going on there?” Petra fired back, not letting Nanaba finish her sentence. Honestly, you were just glad the attention was off you for a second.

Nanaba held her hands up in honesty. “What can I say? His sense of smell isn’t the only thing superior about him.” You cackled wickedly, drowning out Petra’s disgusted groan and Nifa’s quiet retch.

“I think I’m gonna throw up.” 

“Don’t you have the hots for Hange?” You asked the poor girl, who instantly turned a dark shade of red.

“N-no! I just- I admire their conviction, that’s all! Besides, Moblit’s always hovering around them like a lost puppy, so there’s not much I can do anyway. I-if I liked them, that is! Which I don’t!” You exchanged knowing glances with Nanaba and Petra, wry smiles pulling at all your lips.

“Sure Nifa, we believe you.” Nanaba grinned, only to receive a pillow to the face from the blushing girl.

“It’s not like that! You’re all awful.” She huffed, finally dragging herself from her bed to start getting ready. 

You were already halfway through putting on the lower half of your harness, still needing to retrieve a hoodie from your drawer. You didn’t know how Petra wore a shirt all year round. You found yourself freezing your tits off in the winter, and sweating like a pig in the summer. Your outfits usually fluctuated between thin tee-shirts and hoodies. Sometimes you would wear both, if it was a particularly cold day. You let the loose straps of your harness dangle around you whilst you started rifling through your drawers for the specific jumper you wanted to wear today, before another knock on the door interrupted you all.

“I got it last time.” You stated bluntly, but none of your roommates were as dressed as you were. With a heavy sigh and multiple middle finger flips, you pulled on your tight breast band and crossed the room again. “Eld, I thought we agreed we’d see you in fif…teen…… minutes……” you instantly regretted speaking before you even looked up to see who it was. It wasn’t Eld. Oh shit, it wasn’t Eld.

Levi found himself unable to do anything but stare blankly at you, his face betraying none of the short-circuiting his brain seemed to be doing. Why the fuck weren’t you wearing a shirt…? Why the fuck weren’t you ready yet?

And why the fuck did he find his mouth suddenly dryer than dirt parched of rain. Keeping his head seemed impossible in this situation. He’d only come to make sure you were getting ready. He found what he was looking for, sure, but why like this?

“Captain.” You felt extremely silly saluting only half dressed, but it wasn’t like your squad hadn’t seen each other before. Admittedly, Levi had never joined your games of strip poker, not even when Hange begged and pleaded, but as a result, you didn't really think much of it. 

“Could you shut the fucking door maybe?” Nanaba called from behind you, clearly trying to slip on the uniform pants without a spectator. But for all the grief she gave you this morning, you were half tempted to open it wider, just to piss her off. But a sharp call of your name made your decision for you. 

“Alright alright, sorry.” You called back, stepping out into the hallway and closing the door behind you. You felt strangely exposed now. Maybe that was because your retreat had now been blocked off, but goosebumps littered your skin from an invisible wind. The situation was disgustingly similar to last night, where he did nothing but stare at you for a good few minutes. It wouldn’t have made you so uncomfortable if you knew why he kept looking at you like this.

“I thought you would be ready.” Fucking hell, it had taken every fibre of Levi’s control to rein himself back from wherever he’d lost himself to. His heart was doing that irritating stuttery thing again, the one where he couldn’t think straight and his palms started to sweat. He must be coming down with some illness. That had to be the reason. 

“We were only woken up seven minutes ago, Sir. Apologies.” You kept with the formalities, too confused by his behaviour last night to slip back into your informal addresses. This was so much easier anyway. He didn’t look like he noticed, or even care anyway. Though that idea felt strangely… hurtful. 

Levi stayed silent for a moment, collecting himself and running through the best ways to end this conversation. He’d found himself in a conflicting paradox. On the one hand, he wanted to talk to you. But he also wanted you to put some goddamn clothes on. He would never admit to himself that he didn’t mind the view -actively enjoyed the view, even- because that would be vulgar and despicable.

Even if it was true.

“Be in the courtyard in three minutes. Petra too. I want to brief the squad on today’s mission.” You saluted again in response, nodding once before he turned and marched off. You guessed whatever sweet domesticity you’d shared yesterday was nothing but a one time thing. Or maybe nothing happened at all, and you’d imagined the whole thing. But you had grown closer last night. Admittedly you were always close with your captain, but yesterday was different. You shared something with him, and in return, he shared something with you. It was all just… so confusing.

You watched him stride out of sight, before slipping back inside your room. And you were once again greeted by the suspicious gazes of your three roommates. “Oh for god’s sake.” You chimed in, before they started singing their questions at you.

“Both of them? Isn’t that a little greedy?”

“Damn, didn’t think you could pull one, let alone both at the same time,”

“Wait, are you uh, having sex with Captain Levi as well?”

You held up your hands for a cease-fire, looking incredulously between them. “Girls, girls, please! You can’t assume I’m fucking every man and woman I happen to be in a conversation with. I’m not even fucking one of them, let alone both!” You let out an exasperated sigh, the three women still eyeing you suspiciously, before turning to Petra specifically. “Hurry up, we have three minutes.” 

“I still think you should at least try. I mean, the chemistry between you two is like something you would find fizzing away in Hange’s lab!” You were barely listening to Petra’s crazy ideas as you walked. You hadn’t realised she was this desperate for you to get laid. It would have been amusing if it wasn’t so early in the morning. 

“Petra, in the nicest way possible, shut the fuck up. We’re not dating, I’m not going to try and date him. He’s not my type, engaged, and we’re. Just. FRIENDS.” You didn’t know what else you would have to say or do to make her shut up about this ridiculous idea. You managed to finish dressing in one minute, and join up with your squad in the following sixty seconds. You’d just batted away her expressive hands before crossing the courtyard, your squad looking mildly irritated. 

Your eyes flicked between the three men. “What’s up with you guys? Other than getting up at this godforsaken hour to catch a titan?” It was at that your companions all turned to you.

“Except that’s just it. It’s not just a titan.” Gunther lamented, fixing the clasp of his cloak tighter around his neck. You looked for further explanation, finally given to you from the less than pleased looking Oluo.

“Crazy bitch wants us to catch two. ‘Compare and contrast’ they said. ‘Measure twice, cut once’ they said. They can measure how far my blade can sink into their–”

“Shut up Oluo, we get it,” –you turned to Eld, ignoring the indignant huff from your comrade– “Does the Captain know?” you asked, but already knowing the answer from his sheepish grimace.

“Ah- we were rather hoping actually, you would tell him?”

“...you cannot possibly be serious. Isn’t it someone else’s turn?” You tried desperately to sway each of your friends, but they all looked away pretty swiftly. “Oh for fuck’s sake, you’re all a bunch of cowards. You fight titans for a living, and you’re scared to tell your captain that–”

“Tell your captain what?” Your blood quite possibly froze over at the familiar cadence and tone from behind you, and the pale faces of your comrades. You mouthed the world’s quietest ‘shit’ before turning to face him, exercising your chipper façade. 

Levi instantly raised a brow of suspicion. He’d seen that look before, at winter balls when you would be cussing out some noble prick, only for them to walk up behind you and ask for a dance. It was a cover, albeit an incredibly good one. But one he’d seen far too many times before. And he saw your smile falter the moment you realised he could see right through you. At least you were clothed this time. “Something to say?”

You huffed, folding your arms. “Only because nobody else has the fucking nerve to say it. Hange wants us to grab two titans, not just the one.” Levi visibly tensed. He thought this would have all been over by lunchtime, but it seems Hange had gone a little overboard with their demands for this. The freedom to even attempt had gone to their head. 

“Damnit Four Eyes…”

“Tell me about it. Not too thrilled ourselves honestly. Will it affect the briefing?” you asked, the rest of your squad gaping at you from behind whilst you proceeded to have a seemingly perfectly normal conversation with him after delivering such devastating news. 

“I doubt it. We’ll just rinse and repeat for the second one, assuming we’re all still alive. It’ll just take out more of the day.” ‘That I could have used to get my paperwork done.’ You finished his sentence for him in your head, once again that stab of empathy impaling your heart. As strange as he had been acting, you still worried about him. Your expression softened slightly. 

You understood.

“Guess we’ll just have to get it done quickly then. I’m glad Miche squad is joining though, that’ll cut the time in half at least. And if we work efficiently enough, then this shouldn’t take as long as we’re thinking. I’d suggest finally pairing Oluo with Petra,”

Levi nodded thoughtfully, considering the option carefully. “That’s assuming they manage to work together without slicing each other up, but it’s a solid idea. I’m guessing that would put Eld and Gunther in their usual pairing?” It was about as subtle as he got with wanting to keep you in sight at all times. On most expeditions, he didn’t even need to make sure, because you were always paired together, but on missions like these…

“Actually Sir, I’ve been working well with Gunther in training recently. We’re coordinated enough to know each other’s movements. Plus I think it would be good for him to work with someone else other than Eld or yourself.” You suggested, and your eyes must have been playing tricks on you, because there was no way Levi would have looked deflated at that idea, right? This was the best opportunity to see if you and Gunther worked with the same efficiency as you did with Petra or Levi himself. You doubted it, but it was worth a shot.

‘Absolutely fucking not.’ Is what he wanted to say. ‘The hell are you thinking, not sticking by my side?’ is what some fucked up instinct was telling him to say. Some part of his brain that seemed focused on pissing him off by filling his head with these thoughts and making his heart stutter whenever you so much as breathed in his vicinity. “Fine. But don’t fucking die on me.” 

You knew that was about as good as you were going to get. Still, your very soul sung at his words. Reading between the lines came with Levi’s personality description, and over the years you’d become quite good at it. A warm, kind smile pulled at your lips, the first he’d seen on you since yesterday evening. 

“Who’s worrying about who now?” you couldn’t help but lightly tease, your smile widening at his dismissive scoff. But you’d caught it, the slightest hint of amusement etched deep within his features. 

If only you knew. If only you knew that he constantly worried about you, and had done for the last however many years he’d been blessed with your presence. 

Levi mentally shook himself. Where the fuck did that come from? When had he started thinking like that? Certainly before yesterday, but his thoughts had never been so damn vocal about you like this. He wished more than anything he could just turn them off. 

“Besides, strategically speaking, this is the best course of action. Gunther’s still fairly new, he has the skill yeah, but lacks the experience to follow through.” It seemed you had continued talking even after his mind took a short wander, and he hadn’t realised he’d been staring rather blankly at you the whole time. Did you notice he wasn’t listening? Or were you so focused on your strategy that you barely noticed him? You weren’t even looking at him…

And had either of you noticed that your squad had slowly backed away from the entire conversation and were now in a small group of their own, whispering to each other in hushed, secretive tones. 

You sure as shit didn’t, at least not until Levi cleared his throat rather obviously, and you looked up, shaken from your thoughts, to find Levi looking over your shoulder, a brow raised in irritated disinterest.

You turned to find yourself alone, save for your comrades now metres away. How had they left you without you even noticing? Were you really that wrapped up in the conversation? You were strategizing, something you would get carried away with, but even so…

Sneaky assholes.

Eld shot you an apologetic look as they shuffled back over, one you responded to with an obviously faux smile, the same smile you gave Hange yesterday. Levi felt his stomach clench slightly.

But it was Petra’s expression that had you nervous. She looked innocent. Too innocent. Like she was trying way too hard to appear inconspicuous, which of course, made her look much more conspicuous. She raised her thin eyebrows to you, daring you to ask her. You grit your teeth and held your tongue instead. 

“Alright, we’re pairing up. Petra and Oluo will work together, Eld you’re with me today.” Both Eld and Gunther gave you a strange look. Everyone in the squad knew it was you who would usually put together strategies and training regimes, alongside your Captain, of course. So they knew who to turn to if something didn’t make sense.

“Gunther’s with me, yeah. Thought we’d switch it up a bit.” You added, shrugging indifferently to Eld’s confused head-tilt.

“Works for me, we’ve been training a lot together recently, so this should be fun.” Your entire squad shifted to look at Gunther in morbid awe. You definitely had a different definition of fun…

“Petra, keep Bozado in order. Try not to kill him, as tempting as it often is.” Despite the surprisingly grating words, Oluo straightened and saluted Levi. You couldn’t help checking his nose for any brown staining, considering how much of a kiss-ass he was.

“I won’t let you down sir! You can count on us!” Levi winced slightly at the explosion of dedication from the man, glancing at your ever-so-subtle quirk of amusement, hidden by a strategic scratch of your eyebrow. Why did everything you do today cause his stomach to practise gymnastics? It was really getting on his nerves. Not you, just his own reactions. 

“Well, you all look ready to go.” You knew that voice without even having to turn around, though you did anyway. You threw a bright smile in Nanaba’s direction, watching her wince as if you were burning sunlight directly into her eyes. “Put that away, would you? We’re not all early risers.”

“No, because I do all the early rising for you.” You muttered, rolling your eyes at her flat stare. Anyone looking in from the outside would assume you hated each other, it was only those in your current circle who knew the truth. You would do anything for each other. All of you would. 

“Wasn’t it you who woke us up?”

“Take it up with Eld, I had nothing to do with it.” You shrugged, nodding your head in Eld’s faux grateful expression. 

“Don’t blame me, Gunther wakes us all up with his monstrous shi–”

“Alright that’s enough. Be ready to move out at a moment’s notice, disgusting lot.” You didn’t know if it was a product of proximity to Levi as a person, or because you were literally standing so close to him, but you could have sworn he was trying his best to hold in some show of amusement.

He absolutely was. And he could do nothing but walk away, making sure the rest of the group couldn’t see his face, before he released his amused smirk. 

If this was ‘everything going according to plan’ you would hate to see what it looked like when Hange’s plans failed. It was chaos from the get-go. They didn’t even stay in the formation they’d decided upon, instantly racing ahead of the rest of the squads. Poor Moblit galloped behind them, trying in vain to catch up, but whatever fucking science Hange had done on their horse, it seemed to travel much faster than any of the rest of them. You heard Miche swear under his breath, heard Levi’s cursing as the three squads tried vehemently to catch up, inevitably splitting up in the process.

And by the time you got there, it was already utter chaos. Frantic shouting from Hange with immense detail as to what titan type they were looking for, not knowing if they wanted to go for a fifteen metre or the five metre first. Not knowing what fucking hair colour they wanted. You almost screamed in frustration as you went to slice the nape of a stout five metre, only to be called back by Hange. 

Irritation flared in your gut. Especially after they then proceeded to tell you to ‘actually kill that one, its nose is wonky’. It took every fibre of self control not to comment on the crookedness of their nose. But you felled the monster anyway. There wasn’t time to argue. 

You’d just managed to mount your horse again, Gunther doing the same, when Nanaba called your name, racing toward you at full gallop and waving frantically. You glanced at Gunther who nodded in silent confirmation, before you both galloped to meet her halfway.

“What’s the situation?” You asked, barely slowing to a canter.

“”Miche squad’s surrounded, it’s a bloodbath out there. We need as many soldiers as we can find.” You’d never seen her look so wild. So wracked with untamed fear. Whatever the hell was happening over the hill, it wasn’t good. You turned back to your squad, the barrage of hoof-fools alerting you of their presence. 

“Miche’s surrounded.” You cut to the chase as Levi and Eld were the last to join the throng, Eld exchanging a concerned look with you. But there was nothing to be done, no way to reassure him you were alright. Not whilst there was still so much going on.

Levi thought for less than a moment, before addressing the rest of his team. “We lend a hand. Quick in and out, we don’t have time to be dropping in and saving every team that lands in shit. Do what you can and leave the rest to his squad.” 

You nodded in agreement when he looked to you for confirmation. The moment you set off, your squad instantly fell back into formation. You rode alongside Eld, behind Levi and in front of Oluo and Petra, Gunther took the rear.

“You alright?” you knew the question was coming.

“Yeah, as alright as one can be during one of Hange’s suicide missions. Still can’t believe they fucking volunteered us for this shit.” You grit your teeth, crouching low over your horse’s neck.

“Stay sharp, we’ve got company.” Eld nodded to his right, and you looked past him to three grinning titans. There was something about the ones that smiled. The ones who looked genuinely pleased to be devouring humanity. Their giddy delight always made you want to throw up. 

“Two this side as well.” Your head whipped to your left, Petra’s voice behind you calling you back. At least those two weren’t smiling. You looked back to Levi, who stayed staring straight ahead.

“Captain?” It wasn’t like you to prompt orders, trusting him with your life. But the closer the five came, the more your nerves buzzed. But still he kept his silence. You didn’t know what was happening. He’d been off today, and you’d never known Levi to be off. Something had happened, it must have. Or he was sick… yeah, that could be it. He was just coming down with a cold. Not that you’d ever seen him sick but that was the only logical explanation.

Minutes seem to stretch for eternity before he finally spoke up. “Eld, Gunther, take the three on the right. Petra, Oluo, take the left. You, stick with me for now. We’ll regroup after Miche squad is safe.” You met Levi’s eyes as he looked over his shoulder to you, and you tried to keep the fear from your gaze. Though you didn’t know why you were afraid. You’d worked with Levi for nearly all of your Scout life. But he was off his game, he was distracted, he was–

You noticed his expression soften ever so slightly, and all doubts ebbed away. This was Levi you were talking about. When had he ever been off his game? You returned his expression with a confident nod, determination sparking back in your eyes. He seemed satisfied with your reaction, and turned back just as the rest of your squad separated. A few seconds passed before you, too, had abandoned your horse in favour of ODM gear, being much better suited to the village terrain. A lot more to grip onto than out in the open field. 

It was a wonder why you ever diverted from working with Levi in the first place. You flowed together like joining rivers, movements matched, manoeuvres coordinated. Distract and dispose was your game. Though it was dangerous, you’d worked on it for so long it came like second nature.

You zipped past the eyes of a fifteen metre, feinting as it quickly grabbed for you, before allowing yourself into a freefall. It was a common manoeuvre you used, Levi showing up right on time. You held out your arm, wincing slightly as Levi used his momentum to grab it and swing you back. Titans had grown accustomed to the achor firing and usage of gas to change direction, but this always caught them off guard. They couldn’t anticipate the swift change. 

You felt your entire centre of gravity shift as you were swung back, Levi’s grasp on your arm releasing just as you fired your gear into its nape. With one swift slash, the beast fell on its front, and you landed on a nearby rooftop, panting slightly. Your arm throbbed a little where Levi had grabbed you, for some reason so much harder than he usually would. 

The titan count had dropped considerably since your squad had arrived, freeing Miche’s squad from the clutches of extinction. You knew your current partner was safe by the sounds of his footsteps beside you.

“All good?” You asked, turning your head to greet him as he came to your side, nodding in answer.

“Let me see your arm.” You blanched at the order, subconsciously moving it out of sight. How the fuck could he possibly know…?

“Which arm?” Now really wasn’t the time to be stalling, but you just really, really didn’t want to see his inevitable look of guilt if there was any bruising.

“The one you just hid from me. Let me see it.” Your eyes fell in acceptance, sheathing the trigger handle of your gear and holding out the arm that currently felt like it had been wrapped in tight string. 

With a gentleness you’d only seen a few times, Levi rolled up the sleeve of your jacket and jumper, bunching it uncomfortably at the crease of your elbow. You couldn’t look at him as his fingertips traced the discolouring on your arm, goosebumps raised in his fingers’ wake. 

But there was nothing you could do to stop the guilt he felt. Levi’s own arm pulsed in retaliation, almost as a punishment for hurting you. 

“It’s fine, Levi.” You murmured lowly, as if talking any louder would break him. 

You’d never been so conflicted. On the one hand, you knew him. You knew Levi better than anyone, though that may surprise a lot of people. Neither of you made it obvious that you knew each other so well, mainly because if Hange caught wind, they’d never stop crowing about it. But just because you knew him, doesn’t mean you could always decipher how he was feeling, or predict how he was going to react. Last night made that incredibly clear. You still don’t know what you did wrong, and asking him now just felt like an unnecessary, awkward conversation that you knew he would avoid at all costs.

It was a ridiculous paradox. You knew him, but because you knew him, you didn’t know him at all. 

“Get some salve on that the moment we get back. Let me know if it starts to bruise.” Something cracked in your chest at his quiet tone, remorse lacing his words, dripping in regret. It was impossible, it seems, to live with no regrets. You couldn’t deny he’d done well though, but there were some things that seemed impossible to move on from. “Join up with Gunther and get this over with. I’m sick of today.” There was no further exchange before ran and jumped, gear hissing as he sped back into the much smaller fray. 

You sighed heavily. Everytime you grew closer to him, he always shields himself from you. It had been a vicious cycle for a while now, and it was starting to get on your nerves. He really was impossible.

Levi’s head pulsed, aching waves of nausea hitting him periodically, throwing him off his rhythm. He could barely concentrate. Everytime his squad split up to take down the surrounding titans, his head would throb. Definitely sick, he decided. He would have to take the next few days off to recover from whatever illness had struck him. Though it was strange. He’d never been sick. Not since he was brought above ground. He had not once caught a cold, a disease, a virus -nothing. So it was odd that, now, he would be coming down with something. Not only that, but his arm ached like shit, and he was more than positive it was a punishment for hurting you earlier. At least, he hoped it was.

Not that he had the time to even contemplate these things. He wanted to throttle Hange. Again. The sheer lack of preparation was going to cost them so many lives. He knew Hange was rarely careless with human life, but it seemed that the freedom had gone to their head. Erwin had given them the go-ahead, and it had driven them wild. 

“Hange!” he called, briefly breaking off from formation to catch up with the wildly galloping scientist. They’d been flitting from squad to squad, assessing the surrounding titans, sizing them up and mentally weighing their value to her experiments. They appeared to not even hear him. “Hange!” he called again, this time a little more agitated.

Hange’s head whipped in his direction, a grin of deranged delight almost toppling him off his horse. “Didn’t see ya there! How’s your squad doing? Anything exciting to report? Oooooo, maybe an abnormal?” The way Hange’s eyes flashed eagerly made him want to kick them off their own horse.

“No, but you need to fucking choose. People are dying for this, Hange. Get your shit together and–” Levi couldn’t finish his sentence; his hand quick to cushion the side of his head. His skull was splitting apart. There was no other explanation. His skull was cracking and shattering and–

Everything beyond his own head silenced into nothing. His eyes widened, but he wasn’t looking at anything. But if he wasn’t looking at anything… then how could he see you?

You and Gunther, both looking incredibly co-ordinated. What the fuck was going on? You were nowhere near him. He’d broken formation away from you to talk to Hange, you were across the field behind him… how the fuck could he–

His heart lurched into his throat. One second you were performing flawless manoeuvres with your partner, the next you were silently screaming his name, becoming a comet as you changed trajectory and swung back to him. The impact had his jaw tensing as if he himself were bracing for pain. You’d careened directly into him, the reason unknown until the giant hand swiped down and obscured you from his vision. 

When he saw you again, you were struggling. Struggling and writhing in the suffocating grasp of a twenty metre. Your arms pinned to your side, you could do nothing but twist in vain. A whip cracked inside Levi’s head.

He had to go.

He didn’t even register Hange had been calling his name until he was racing in the other direction. Hundreds had died. Hundreds upon hundreds of people he’d known by name, had died, and he’d moved on. He’d had to.

So why the hell would he race so hard for you? He asked the question as if he didn’t already know the answer.

His headache was getting worse. The splitting pain had stopped, but it was a growing ache now. A sand-timer. He was acting on instinct. He knew it was a timer to your death. Whatever the fuck he’s just seen, it hadn’t happened yet. He could still get to you. He could still save you. He could still–

“GUNTHER!” Your panicked scream shattered his spiral, but he was still too far away. Everything unfolded before his eyes, your manoeuvres a mirror to what he’d just witnessed. Your swinging trajectory changed. Your cracking impact, the clanging of metal as your partner was shoved clear of the giant hand. 

Levi urged his horse faster, digging his heels into its flanks. He had to make it. He didn’t have another choice. He felt winded, like fingers were pressing into his lungs as you were caught, arms pinned by your sides. What he hadn’t heard was Gunther’s scream of your name. Not until now, and it was haunting. Whether it spooked his horse, or the beast simply recognised the desperation of its rider, he didn’t know or care. A reward was in order for its final burst of speed. 

He also hadn’t heard his own desperate roar of your name in his vision. It had ended before this. 

Anchors fired, gas pressed, Levi’s stomach met his throat as he whipped between the titan’s head and shoulder, twisting impossibly to re-aim his gear straight for its nape. He had to kill it and catch you after. If he freed you first, the risk of being caught again was too high. And though every instinct screamed at him to tear it to shreds, he didn’t have time on his side. 

His internal organs lurched as he pressed the gas again, a feeling he was too used to now. One anchor released, adjusting his arc as steel sliced through flesh and muscle, cleaving a valley through the titan's nape.

Instantly he felt the press on his lungs release. He chalked it down to relief, though it wasn’t over. You were now released.

And falling. 

Levi performed another seemingly impossible twist, and there you were. 

With no obvious anchor points, this was why ODM gear was so dangerous in open field combat. With no trees to hook on to, it was incredibly difficult to land without damaging anything, or at least ending up with a sprain. But once again, no other options presented themselves to him.

You turned at the familiar hiss, wind whipping your hair, but only for a second before you were sheltered by body mass. You didn’t need to look to tell who it was. You recognised that smell. 

“This is going to hurt.” He told you, a hand bracing the back of your head.

“Don’t let go.” You pleaded, gripping the sides of his tan jacket.

Levi drew back, looking at you briefly in a way you’d never seen before. You didn’t realise he would hit the ground first.

“I won’t. I promise.” There was a brief moment where you regarded each other, before he brought your head back into his chest.

And you struck the ground.

#levi x reader #levi fluff #snk levi #aot x y/n #levi ackerman oneshot #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman imagine #levi x you #aot x reader #aot x you #snk x you #snk fanfiction #snk x reader #levi x y/n #levi ackerman angst #levi ackerman #levi ackerman x y/n smut

[genshingorlsrevengeance]

Your plushie gift headcannon was adorable, can I get the same thing for the entire team 404

(GFL) AR Team and Squad 404's S/O making a plushie of them

(AR Team) M4A1, ST AR-15, M4 SOPMOD II, M16A1, RO635

(Squad 404) UMP45, UMP9, G11, and HK416

I desperately wish for plushies of the T-Dolls IRL.

M4 smiles delightfully upon seeing the stuffed T-Doll, failing to contain her giggle.

(M4A1) "This is adorable, S/O!"

The green strands of cloth stood out among the darker colors, the face expressing a soft smile, much like her own.

(S/O) "Do you like it?"

(M4A1) "I love it, what's the occasion?"

(S/O) "Just...a charm I guess, for good luck. If I made you anything to take out in the field, it'd probably get damaged, so I figured I could make something in your dorm!"

(M4A1) "I'll make sure to take good care of it!"

M4 has the plushie in between a picture of her and S/O and one of the AR Team.

STAR chuckles when S/O hands her a plushie of herself, noting how comfortable it felt in her hands. Well, her sensors anyway.

There was something endearing about human handmade items rather than factory produced.

(ST AR-15) "Quite the striking resemblance."

STAR remarks in an amused tone as soon as she notices the plushie with a very annoyed look.

(S/O) "Had to stare at my reference quite a bit."

(ST AR-15) "Heh, so I've noticed. I'll make sure it doesn't get dusty."

STAR hides the plushie under her blanket, not wanting to get teased by the rest of the AR Team, specifically by M16A1 or SOPMOD.

SOPMOD squeals upon seeing her plushie, squeezing it tightly and then admiring the little details.

Her face was possibly the most expressive she had seen, the eyes were giant white circles, and the mouth was a smug squiggle.

(S/O) "Like it?"

(SOPMOD) "LOVE IT! It's soooo cute!"

She quickly takes S/O into a hug, one that threatened to be spine shattering with how hard she held them.

(SOPMOD) "I wish I could take it with me into battle, but it'll watch over me when I go to sleep!"

SOPMOD holds onto it when she sleeps with zero shame in whoever sees it, bragging about S/O's craftsmanship to any T-Doll or human personnel who asks about it.

M16's eye goes wide as she sees what S/O has given to her.

The plushie was lovingly recreated, the scar and eyepatch were there, so was her case, and a tiny bottle of jack daniel's in its hand.

Though the facial expression made her look drunk, which wasn't entirely inaccurate.

(M16A1) "Do I really look like that when I drink?"

(S/O) "Eh, not really. Figured I'd take some artistic liberties, so to speak."

(M16A1) "I think it made the end result better."

She laughs and kisses her S/O on the cheek.

(M16A1) "Little me is cute, thanks S/O!"

The plushie sits next to M16's pillow in the dorm, showing it off to M4A1 and excitedly talking about how awesome it was to her.

RO is immediately flustered when S/O presents a tinier version of herself.

(RO635) "W-What is this?"

(S/O) "It's a tinier you!"

She admires how much of her features transferred over to such a small stuffed toy, but she can't help but be a bit shy as well.

That meant that was a lot of time staring at her when she didn't realize and other T-Dolls certainly have.

She bashfully accepts the gift and making sure to smile. RO was genuinely happy to receive something so thoughtful, and it made her start thinking of how to pay S/O back immediately.

(RO635) "I'll treasure it always, S/O. J-Just, please don't mention this to the rest of the AR Team, okay?"

RO makes sure to hide where only she can see it and no one else can ever find it. She would not be able to live down M16 seeing her with something so..."cutesy", as M16 would say.

45 starts laughing the moment S/O presents a miniature version of herself.

A whole plushie of herself kind of defeats the point of being in a Black Ops Unit, seeing as she wasn't supposed to exist in any capacity.

But, she's willing to make an exception.

(UMP45) "Heh, even the plush looks smug."

(S/O) "I wonder where it got that from?"

(UMP45) "Couldn't say.~"

She makes sure to take care of the plush whenever she's back in her dorm, finding herself staring at it with a soft smile more than once.

UMP9 gasps in excitement the moment she lays her eyes on the plush, inspecting it with great enthusiasm as she made sure to stand close to S/O.

(UMP9) "Oh, you even got my hair right! And the smile is really cute too!"

(S/O) "I had to make sure to get the most important details, after all!"

She gives S/O a big hug as she continues to admire the plush.

(UMP9) "I love it! Now, how about I try to make a plushie of you? That way tiny me can have her lover too?"

(S/O) "You know how to make plush dolls?"

(UMP9) "Hm...Not really, but I'm sure I can do it if I tried hard enough!"

Upon making a quite scuffed version of S/O, she has it sit lovingly next to her own plush. Both of them always remain without a single speck of dust.

(G11) "Hm...S/O, why did you wake me u-?"

11's drowsy eyes suddenly become wide awake the moment she sees a miniature version of herself.

Slowly grabbing it and examining it, the details begin to make themselves known as she slowly wakes herself up.

(S/O) "I thought your body pillow could use a bit of company!"

(G11) "...I like it a lot."

Her voice was still very quiet, but the smile on her face was very noticeable.

(G11) "If that was it, I'll sleep with the plushie right now."

Whenever she sleeps (which was extremely often), she hugs onto the plushie, as well as her body pillow. Sometimes S/O too, if there was space.

416 says nothing as her expression quietly beams upon seeing the miniature version of herself.

Seeing how much detail was put into it, it made her quite happy. After all, a perfect T-Doll such as herself should look good in any capacity.

(S/O) "Do you like it?"

(HK416) "It is almost perfect, but there is one thing holding it back. Why is the plushie so angry looking?"

S/O just smiled at her teasingly.

(HK416) "Hey, just what exactly are you implying?"

Seeing S/O laugh at her reaction makes her pout.

(HK416) "Fine, keep your secrets then. I'll make sure your effort is not gone to waste."

The soft smile on her face as she stares at S/O's handiwork tells them what her true feelings were.

No Soul or T-Doll will ever see the plushie. If they do and bring it up to her, they'll regret it.

#girls' frontline imagines #girls' frontline headcanons #girls' frontline x reader #m4a1 x reader #st ar 15 x reader #m4 sopmod ii x reader #m16a1 x reader #ro635 x reader #ump45 x reader #ump9 x reader #g11 x reader #hk416 x reader #m4a1 gfl #st ar 15 gfl #m4 sopmod ii gfl #m16a1 gfl #ro635 gfl #ump45 gfl #ump9 gfl #g11 gfl #hk416 gfl

[dovahkinniez]

this is an absolutely, shamelessly feral idea- but i hope you’re up for writing submissive, bound farkas in sexual denial 😇

+ no pressure to write it ofc if u don’t like writing for submissive guys!

i saw another fic by someone else with the trope of farkas gone feral from his wolf blood, and asked to be bound down to his bed to try and calm himself, he wears a muzzle that muffles his speech and secretly wears a chastity belt underneath 👀 And so i thought up this continuation of the trope and was hoping you’d write it for me (istg ur work is so good i have like it all archived) Btw the fic is called Wolfs Blood I'm pretty sure.

maybe it would be his wolf blood acting up that made him not realize his internal desires, how he actually wanted to be in this situation for sexual pleasure rather than to calm himself, but he slipped up. being bound to his bed, unable to tell anyone to release him, muzzled and strained by his chastity belt? It would be so unlucky for him to be especially horny and turned on that night. such a pitiful sight for him to be effortlessly struggling in his binds, hot breath escaping his muzzle, demeanor cracking. DESPERATELY trying to release his core from its prison; but just simply can’t. And so effortlessly turned on from the fact that he can't. maybe the reader (who farkas def has a wild crush on at the time) would be the only one awake at that time, only one hearing the grunts and near silent wails from the other room, the only one to investigate it, opening the door to such a sight 😳

being so clouded by desperation and denial, embarrassment and self control completely subsided him as an affect of his heightened wolfs blood making him so honest; he would beg the reader to help him through muffled words. He would have meant for them to release him, to take off his muzzle even- but the reader would have other (consensual) plans, determined not to lose this opportunity to make the oh so strong farkas SOB.

( I honestly didn't plan on making the trope so descriptive but I think I had a little too much fun- still dont really know how you're supposed to request things here.. Nevertheless id b so happy if u could use it 2 make a smut or something. If u don't want to, that's completely okay!!!!!)

` 𖤓 . . . FARKAS.

First of all, thank you so very much for the compliment! I love seeing you guys tell me you like my writing, like fr makes me so happy.

(18+) I did do a semi sub! farkas fic not long back, but it just didn't involve kink, so maybe you'd also like to read that if you haven't. But as I said, it wasn't sub sub, ya get me? Idk. ANYWAY! Yes, submissive men >>>. Gotta love em, I just don't write it out a lot due to the fact most people like them dom (tell me if I'm wrong). So hell, yeah. I love this idea, and the idea from the fic you told me about (I haven't ever read it though). But I have once read a few anime character fics that work along the same lines so I am familiar with the whole 'in a rut and can't control self' thing, and I love it. :D

So credits to the op who wrote that fic, I don't want to steal that person's idea, of course.

I will try and make this as gender neutral as possible, but there may be mentions of a female bodied reader, I'm sorry if I do and that makes you feel uncomfortable, I adore you all. And enjoy!

18+ only! Sexual content ahead, minors dni!!

Hours. That's what it felt like. Fingertips burning as he tugs at the restrains, trying to find some release. It's not working. Eyes glazed over with frustration and desire, his blood is burning through his skin, he's counting down the hours until this...curse...wares off. Hoping the ache in his body subsides, so he can feel normal again. The ceiling grows misty from his lack of vision as he pushes his hips up, feeling the metal of the chastity belt rub against his needy flesh.

Gods, he needed release.

Whining and grunting as he aims to gain as much friction as possible yet it isn't enough. Feeling the hardness of his cock strain against the solid metal stings as it grows tighter against his skin, fuck it hurts.

Asking to be restrained but a few hours ago he didn't expect to feel this worked up already, he knew it'd be bad but not this fast. He feels his body changing each rut he falls into and since meeting... someone. He's noticed his desires increase until it hurts, now he's completely feral as he attempts to grind his restrained cock against the belt, all while thinking of you.

He wants you so fucking bad its driving him crazy.

You walk back in from a night's work, shaking the adrenaline off your limbs; wiping blood from your face with your hand, which is smeared in just as much blood. Cringing at the taste of the blood you make you way into the sleeping quarters, it's silent. Not wanting to make noise you creep around, hearing noise from Farkas' room you freeze slightly, hoping maybe he could help you with some clothes as you didn't want to wake anyone up making a ruckus to get a change of clean clothing.

This had became a routine, as Farkas stayed up late at night he became the person you'd go to if you needed anything after a late night job. In reality the night time was the only time you had Farkas to yourself, enjoying his company uninterrupted and without eyes watching, where you could be yourselves. You found Farkas more comfortable in speaking around this time.

Slowly opening the door the heat hits you, taking your breath slightly at the sheer temperature in the room, Farkas felt you by the door. He could smell you and the blood that coated your form, biting down onto his bottom lip as he pulls on the restraints until it burned at his skin.

"Y/n.." By Dibella. His deep voice broke out into a cry of desperation, the sight took you by complete surprise yet something in the air compelled you to shut the door behind you, watching him closely as he moves his body on the bed, in an attempt to try and get you.

Walking closer you take in the details, feeling the arousal seep through your veins, it was intoxicating as the heat from his body radiated through the entire room. "S-Stop..." "Stop what?" You reply as you watch the sweat on his heaving chest, the way his stomach sucks in as you grow closer, how his back arches, his thighs cling together, tight and muscular. "You're making it worse." He barely growls out, whines passing his mouth as he falls back, watching you with dozy eyes. "Do you need help, puppy?" "Don't tease me." Inside he was begging, pleading and the way his hips push up tells you exactly just that.

Smirking, you begin to realise the power you hold in this situation. He's ready, hot and looking at you with needy eyes, all for you to play with. He notices your smirk, the way you snake your way onto the bed, watching his body as he shakes from not only the rut but now you too. He's always wanted this.

He just didn't realise how badly.

Slowly taking off your armour, he watches with bated breath. "Tell me, do you need help?" You ask again, he watches the blood drip across your naked form as you take ahold of his legs, parting them between you as he lifts himself up, he could cum alone at the sight and smell of you.

"Y/n-" "Farkas. Yes or no. Do you need help?" You cut him off, eyes sharp as he gulps with a nod, "Use your voice, puppy." You smile gently, almost innocently as you rub your hands up his muscular thighs, tugging at the straps of the belt he wiggles his hips up, wanting to be freed.

"Yes. Please. F-Fuck." He hums out, his lip almost bloody from biting down. "I need you-" Farkas whimpers out as you lean up, running your hands across his body, squeezing at his muscles and his neck as he pushes his head back, "Fuck. Me ... Please." He chokes out between breaths as you giggle while licking and kissing against his abs and v-line. "Patience, puppy." He had none. He had been wanting, needing and waiting for too long. He needed release.

You knew this. You decided to take advantage of it instead. So cruel.

"I can't-" "Ah-Ah." You smack his thigh, Farkas mutters a shy sorry, causing you to smile against his skin, "Good boy." Fuck. He felt whatever blood left up shoot right down, his cock pressing against the belt and he swore it felt as if it were bleeding from the pain. Whimpering as he attempts to close his legs, you slap his thigh again, grabbing at the hot flesh as he takes a deep breath in.

Biting and licking against his neck, bruises litter across the skin, you lick up his neck as he moans out, your fingers tangled through the raven locks of his hair as Farkas hangs his head back, like putty in your hand he follows each movement and each motion you make. Hot and sweaty under you, his body laid out ready to be fucked as he whines each time you make eye contact in a desperate attempt for more.

"You're so impatient." You hum out. He only whines more. "Do you want me to suck your cock?" You ask, he moans out, feeling his dick twitch against the metal desperately for your mouth. You laugh out, looking at him as if he were weak and pathetic and fuck, he loved it.

Slowly taking the chastity belt off you pepper kisses along his torso, releasing his cock as it slaps against his stomach, hot and heavy, tip leaking and angrily red.

You couldn't help but laugh, leaning back and simply watch him as his hips jolt, his cock twitching with need. "Please." "Patience." You shush him, running your finger across his thigh, until it reaches to his ballsack, using your hands you tug and gently massage, he grits his teeth, his cock bobbing with anticipation and all you do is watch, eyes low and glued to his face as he watches with a helpless expression, panting for more. Rubbing your hand up to his cock, feeling each vein and the wetness that formed a string from the tip to his stomach, you form a fist around him, slowly pumping, watching his dick swallow your hand as he let's out groans and whines. Fuck, he sounds hot.

You wish to stay there longer, but your mouth waters at the sight and the sounds before you, but it didn't matter how fast leaned down to move your mouth because to poor Farkas it felt hours before he noticed you slowly lean down to lick the tip, gathering the precum on your tongue before you slowly take him I'm your mouth, your jaw expanding until it hurt due to the thickness he bared. "Ohhhhhh ..... Fuck yeah." He breathed out, louder than he expected. Biting down on his bottom lip to mask his moans and to mirror the pain you were causing in his thighs as you dig your fingernails into them, gripping tightly while trying to fit more of him inside your mouth.

It almost felt impossible, too big. Poor puppy is too large for his own good yet he shakes and moans just as well while you lick and press your tongue against him, sucking and licking while making all sorts of ungodly sounds, Farkas listens and forces his own sounds to quieten as he rolls his eyes back, leaning back onto the bed. Arching his head back as you wrap your hands around him, pumping him while focusing your sweet mouth on his weeping tip. Farkas moans like the good boy he is, "Please... I need to come.." He begs, as you rub and fist the saliva that oozed out your mouth and down his shaft.

Tears roll down your cheeks from the sheer size of the man, yet his tears where from pure frustration as you fuck his cock with your pretty mouth and skilled hands. "Cum for me, puppy. Be a good boy." You say lowly, he whimpers and arches his back as he pulls on the restraints. "Fuck - fuck." He grunts as you bob your head up and down, hands rub and please his cock and his balls as your mouth licks and sucks until you feel him pulsating, squirting cum onto your tongue as you groan, you mouth rumbling against him as you tilts your head, licking and sucking down the edges on him, licking at the oozing cum as he continues to moan out like the whore he is, thighs clenched into stone until he gives way, limp and sweaty, whimpering breathlessly as you clean him up with your tongue.

"Gods. I'm not finished." Tonight was going to be a long night. Good job you haven't fucked yourself on him yet.

#skyrim x reader #elder scrolls x reader #skyrim headcanon #skyrim scenarios #skyrim x dovahkiin #elder scrolls skyrim #skyrim #elder scrolls #farkas x reader #skyrim farkas x reader #farkas x dragonborn #skyrim farkas #farkas

[melonteee]

May I recommend some One Piece fics? One of them has me clawing the walls and wanting to write ten billion fics about all the OP women _:(´ཀ`」 ∠): and the other fundamentally changed me as a human being.

The former is a Robin centred fic and the latter is a Sanji centred fic. If you have read these before, sorry if I’m just parroting what you’ve already read! Also please feel no pressure to read these, I just wanted to share with a fellow OP enjoyer :DDD

Sanji Fic: Custom of the Sea - 17K: https://archiveofourown.org/works/39516201?view_adult=true

So this one really, REALLY explores Sanji’s duties as a chef and how far he’d be willing to go to ensure that his crew won’t starve (if you know what the title of the fic means then you’re halfway there) and there are heavy warnings at the start of the fic that I won’t repeat but I will state that the fic is tagged with “angst with a happy ending” so a heaping helping of optimism is needed whilst reading!

(I did not read the tags thoroughly though I still enjoyed the fic, but please don’t be as silly as me)

I love when a One Piece fic explores the connections between the Straw Hats (some more than others, cough ZORO cough) and I especially love the flashbacks we get with Chef Zeff— I will never be able to stop thinking about them and clutching at my chest like I’m trying to ease an unseen weight (the burden, oh the burden of loving a fictional blond man).

I love how Sanji is written, how we get to see him reduced to his base components, how as he thins with each day we see what becomes transparent beneath all the layers; who he truly is when stripped down to the bone.

^ tryhard

There is also a scene that is so reverent; so intimate; so raw that it feels like a violation to intrude upon such a private moment and a discourtesy that it isn’t being analysed and examined by every literature study or professor alive. Wow it fucks me up that this fic only has 8K hits. The author also writes some good ZoSan fics if that’s also something you’d like :))

Robin Fic: What is and What could never be - 58K (unfinished as far as I’m aware): https://archiveofourown.org/works/42768912/chapters/107441889

Robin. Has. A child.

[incoherent wailing about motherhood, unconditional love, the fear of loving someone and letting them love you back, love you thought you lost but has endured all along]

I haven’t even finished it yet nor am I even anywhere close in the timeline in which the fic takes place but I already know it’s one of my favourite fics I’ve read, and has made me realised that I have overlooked the OP women in the most egregious manner possible.

I absolutely adore your OP character analysis videos, and having your big brain analysis sitting in the back of my mind while reading this fic has made me appreciate and enjoy this fic tenfold.

Nico Robin I love you in a way that heals me and hurts me.

I am also a tremendous sucker for Frobin (the author wrote smut for this fic which 😳) but I also adore her relationships with Chopper, Nami and Luffy which absolutely enamoured me and has scorched my brain, leaving a permanent mark. Also extremely cruel and wicked that this fic only has 8K hits.

Anyway I wrote all of this at 1am, so if I sound mad it’s because I am. Thanks for creating hilarious and extremely insightful analysis videos, I’ve been watching your channel since the MHA character design video (I still burst out laughing thinking about Todoroki’s design sometimes) and I always look forward to new vids :D

Thank you for these but I can’t promise I’ll read them haha, I don’t tend to read too many fics but I appreciate the thought. I know you didn’t do it here but I also ask to please not send me smut fics or anything since I’m not an nsfw account and also a stranger to you guys 😅

And thank you so much for enjoying my content! ❤️

#ask #melonask

[mrs-monaghan]

Hi! I'm new around here (but not new to jikook) and I saw your recent posts where you linked to, among other things, a post where you talked about the 2016 jinmin vlive where they were watching jk on celebrity romance. And I just wanted to say thank you for bringing that up! I think that vlive is wildly underrated. It tells us so much about jikook's relationship at the time. It really showcases how jikook weren't at same place emotionally in the beginning (and how insecure that made jimin) and how their relationship was possibly mostly physical back then. Jk definitely had a lot to work through. I'm sure he was already in love with jm, but had a hard time expressing it. But all's well what ends well, right? :) Very highly recommend that every jikooker watch that vlive if you haven't already!

Okay. First of all, if I have to link this post one more time I'm gonna start side eyeing y'all. I thought I was a pervert till I met y'all. I'm watching you 🧐🧐

He he hee! The video anon is talking about.

Its like 11 minutes guys. Watch it. You've been in the toilet for longer than that. Don't even 🙄 just watch it.

Anon I think you have put it perfectly. Actually. The last part where I reference on my post about JK not showing Jimin any emotions, I think that caused alot of fighting. Like alot. I joked about JK hitting and quitting but really that's how it comes off. The xes part was good. Probably really good. But after that JK would go back to treating Jimin like he did everyone else. Jimin knew he wasn't just anyone else. They had something going on and he wanted JK to act like it.

I saw something on twitter a long, long time ago so I cannot find it. And its now a blur in my head. But OP was alluding to JK playing video games and ignoring Jimin after xes. I don't recall how OP drew to this conclusion, but it was from something Jimin said. Something about JK and video games. Not sure. Like, we all know when it comes to Jikook its all about reading between the lines.

I remember seeing that and seeing where OP was coming from but I dont remember the context which is a tad frustrating rn. Anygays, it obviously took a while for JK to start acting like Jimin needed him to. Feelings wise anyway.

I am happy Jimin did not give up because look where they are now. (I'm sure the Jungkonda had something to do with it 😂😂) JK basically worships the group Mimi walks on.

We heard it from the man himself so we know it's true, right? He's stubborn, he's hard to handle, and I bet Jimin knows all of it first hand. 🤭🤭

Okay so for some strange reason, your ask made me think about this tweet; (Don't ask me why. My mind is a weird place)

Before anybody freaks out, I would like to advice that u take this with a grain of salt. My friends and I tried to find where/when this could have possibly happened but we couldn't. And we really tried guys, because.... WHAT!?!?!?! Why would Jin say something like this that basically outs Jikook? Right?

But then I think about how BTS used to word vomit alot in the early days so I haven't completely disregarded it. So hopefully one of u have heard of this because I would love to see it. Honestly. It's fucking wild. Like.... it's insane 🤯

That being said, 😁😁😁 the correct members are involved when u really think about it. Right? Like these are the right members for this strange scenario 🤭

We know this is how Jin used to wake JK up. Jin even demonstrated that one time exactly how he used to do it by touching JK's nipples. (I can't with the Tannies sometimes. Honestly 🤦🏽‍♀️) From the huge amount of Jikook nipple play (inside this post is another post about this) we can safely deduce that JK's nipples are sensitive. So to me, yeah? To me it makes sense that a sleepy JK thought it was Jimin touching him. IF this is true and it did happen, the maths adds up. Just saying....

Lord have mercy 🤣😂😂

#if jikook isn't real then neither am i #jikook is real #ask shaz #bts ask #jikook #jimin and jungkook #kookmin #minkook #jimin #park jimin #jeon jungkook #jungkook #bts #jikook theories #jikook theory

[loveydovey-leviathan]

reposted from my personal blog @mee-op

meeting again, mistletoe and some other stuff

neige x gn!reader

.

you have to wonder how in the world ambrose the 63rd managed to convince dire crowley of all people to agree to a joint christmas party between rsa and nrc. ambrose must've provoked crowley in some way. it's the only explanation you can think of.

and now, after several hours of everyone "trying" to get along with one another, you're stuck wandering through the deserted halls of rsa— lost because you were too nervous to ask anyone where the restroom was.

as you quietly marvel at the interior of the castle-like school and how ethereal it looks reflecting the night sky, you hear a pair of footsteps walking towards you.

your first instinct is to hide. you've been alone in the walls of nrc before and it has never ended well— whether it be ghosts, a group of students wanting to gang up on the only person with no magical ability or something else.

but before you could search for somewhere to lay low until said person disappears, their gentle voice calls out to you.

''umm... hello?''

....you'd recognise that voice anywhere, especially after what happened at vdc. so you turn around and sure enough, it's the one and only neige leblanche.

you figure it'd be way too awkward to just- walk away after he saw you, so you take several steps forward and close the distance.

''err- hey...?'' you say, nervously scratching the back of your head.

luckily, the person in front of you seems better at social interaction than you are and gives you a soft smile, ''are you lost? the main hall is a bit far from here.''

''yeah, actually..'' you chuckle, slightly embarrassed. ''i was looking for the restroom.''

''oh! well, i can walk you there if you want,'' he says, hands behind his back as he looks up at you with the warmest brown eyes you've ever seen.

''thanks. that'd be really helpful,'' you're grateful that it was neige who found you and not someone from your school. you've grown a pretty tough skin since coming to twisted wonderland but you don't think you can handle any sarcastic comments tonight.

he gives you another one of his charming grins—one that you're sure some of his fans would go crazy for— and starts leading the way.

''soo... what were you doing before you saw me?'' you ask in a desperate attempt to start small talk.

''i just wanted to get some fresh air. your name's yuu, right? you were vil's manager during vdc,''.

''yep,'' kind of surprised he remembers.

''you know, i was really shocked when headmage ambrose announced that we would be having a joint christmas party with night raven college. i don't think our schools have gotten together other than to compete,''

...the rest of the walk is filled with neige's voice. you don't particularly mind. it's not like you have anything interesting to say anyway.

before you know it, you're in front of the restroom... which was only a couple ways down from the main hall. before you could give your thanks, you're interrupted.

''i'm sorry! this whole time i've been rambling and i didn't give you a chance to talk!'' a look of disappointment washes over his face and eyes drooping in sadness. he looked like a kicked puppy— it's no wonder he's so popular.

''it's fine, really. i don't mind— i'm pretty used to it,'' you say in hopes of cheering him up a little.

you don't think you made much of a difference, but he smiles anyway.

''well.. you're really easy to talk to,'' you can tell he's still giving himself some sort of scolding and you try to look for a way to take his mind off of it. it's not like you aren't used to not getting your word in. besides, he's one of the nicer ones.

''look, mistletoe,'' you say before you think of the repercussions.

''o-oh! erm...'' all traces of disappointment is completely gone, instead replaced with flushed cheeks and a look of shock and embarrassment. ''would you like to...?''

''we don't have to if you're uncomfortable,'' you silently chastise yourself in your head. you could've talked about anything and you chose mistletoe?? at least he doesn't look like he's wallowing in his own self-hate anymore.

there're a few seconds of awkward silence— neige looking embarrassed (and very cute, you think) as you wonder what you should do.

then suddenly, the bashful look turns into one of determination (with cheeks still red) and before anything else could register in your shrimp brain— you feel neige's soft lips on your cheek.

you stand there looking dumbfounded as neige quickly retreats.

''umm.. ihavetogonow, ihopeyouhaveanicenightgoodbye!''

...............................

it's only been a week or so since the party, but neige feels like it's been months. ever since he kissed you under the mistletoe, you haven't left his mind.

and great seven, it's so incredibly cliche— you meet a stranger at a party, you talk like you've known each other for years (though it wasn't much of a conversation) and then the two of you share a kiss under the mistletoe. sparks are flying, the stars are twinkling ever so brightly just for you and him and everything feels just right.

and he's always loved cliche. he's always loved cheesy and romantic, the type that would make some gag and others swoon.

and you must've felt it too, right? like every choice led up to you meeting him? like both of you were puzzle pieces that fit together perfectly.

but he was so stupid. he ran away before even knowing your name or asking you out.

but it doesn't matter. he did a bit of digging texting vil and found out you were the prefect of ramshackle dorm! so now he's on your doorstep with the loveliest flowers he could find and some chocolate (he prays you aren't allergic).

he takes a deep breath to calm his nerves, rings the doorbell and patiently waits for you to answer. even though he prepared for this, he can't help but be nervous. and it only worsens when he sees you again.

...he really hopes you know how pretty you are. just the sight of you makes his heart skip a beat.

''neige?'' his thoughts are interrupted and he has to scramble to think of what to say.

''h-hi, yuu! how are you?''

''i'm doing good, is... everything alright?''

''everything's great!'' he gulps before he continues— fear welling up inside him. he has to do this now before he even thinks about backing out.

''well, i actually wanted to ask you something...'' holding the bouquet tighter than necessary, he asks. ''would you.. like to go on a date? with me?''

#twst #twisted wonderland #disney twst #twst x reader #twst fanfic #twst x you #twst x yuu #twst x y/n #twst neige #neige leblanche #neige x reader #twisted wonderland neige #neige x you #twst fluff

[uncaught-coolfish]

The following post is a RWDE rant that is long, angry and non articulated. If you don’t like that, don’t read it, and leave me be. Thank you.

Warning for mentions of racism, bigotry, genocide and slavery. 

RW//BY, as a show, is… I’m going to say it, actually really racist. Is it the most racist thing ever? No. Fuuck no. Not even close. But I’d daresay at least half of it is riddled with some of the most appallingly ignorant shit I’ve seen in any webseries, and yet… some people will go out of their way to harass any who dare to criticize it. 

Remnant is not real. The characters I am about to discuss are not real. But the writers who wrote these characters and the world they inhabit are very real, and the shit they wrote fucking disgusts me.

so. Rant begin. 

Something the crazies of the fandom will say (I say crazies because, the fandom isn’t all like this. many of you guys are chill and cool as fuck) in defense of RW//BY’s many problematic aspects, particularly the criticism of “75% of the show’s POC and minorities are villains”, is that “well, there’s a lot more POC and minority’s on the GOOD GUY side now! Hooray!”

And they’re technically right. I like Elm and Pietro and I love Maria (in V6 especially she was fucking golden) and Marrow. Them and all the other POC they’ve added in as of V6-7~ are, in my opinion, mostly great additions to the cast. 

The side cast. 

The thing that isn’t usually pointed out is that these characters… they are side characters. Pietro and Maria are side characters. The Ace Ops and Happy Huntresses, while playing a decent role, are side characters. 

Hell that extends to pretty much every POC character we’ve gotten aside from Oscar. They’ve been side characters. Many of whom, we likely won’t see again (Until Volume 10… if RT lasts that long)

But I want to mention one thing. We didn’t start getting characters that weren’t blinding white until the end of V2 and the start of V3. 

One of these characters in question I’d like to point out, Flynt Coal. 

I like Flynt. He’s fine. I think his design is cool. But to deny that his character isn’t extremely racist is ignorant.

One of their first. Black characters. Was basically named… “Dark rock, Dark Rock”…

and his weapon is a TRUMPET😭

Not only that, but he and Neon fight Yang and Weiss in the tournament. Let’s talk about Weiss actually. She is the second oldest child to the megarich Schnee family, whom owns the SDC, which she is heiress to. Earlier in the series she acted extremely racist towards characters of an in-universe minority group, and never really apologized on screen. Instead, we’re given justification for why the rich girl is racist. She’s scared because of the White Fang! Poor little German name “White Snow.”

Anyways, back to the fight. Flynt mentions how it was the SDC who put his father’s own company out of business in their monopoly. Does this go somewhere? Nooooo he’s a side character, who’s beaten by Weiss and her bestie by the end of the battle. 

How come they made one of their first black characters fight and lose a battle with their whitest richest character? (Obs not implying he should’ve won, just asking why they chose him in the first place) How come they named him after black rocks(which is in reference to how, in a minecraft letsplay, one mentioned the name “Flynt Coal” and another replied “He’d have to be a black guy!”)? 

Who knows. But surely this is the last time they’ll make a (minority) character be positioned oppositely from our mains. Surely they won’t ever write one as a villain! 

Surely she won’t be the Lakota girl, either!

Ilia as a character was a big stepping stone (at the time) in terms of RW//BY’s representation. She was the first canonical, on screen LGBTQ+ character. She was a member of the White Fang who, before joining, was able to “blend in” with humans due to her Faunus trait not being as noticeable, being spots on her face and along the rest of her body. Ilia was orphaned due to her parents dying in an SDC mine collapse, and when she saw her school friends laughing about it, she “punched their teeth out.” 

Hell, overall I really like Ilia. Her design is adorable, as LGBTQ+ rep I think she’s good enough (though the fact they wrote their first lesbian character to be… a villain, is a talk for another day), and overall I find her decently written on her own. Plus, she’s fun as hell to write. Love her dearly.

On her own. Because in the story, the more I think about it… the more I’m sad, and mad, about how she was handled. 

Firstly. Her name. Apparently it’s supposed to mean “Butterly Rainbow” (again, naming your first lesbian girl “rainbow” lol)… but nope. They got the name Amitola off a baby named website, when it really means something closer to “Like a blue sky.” From my understanding. Typical RT shenanigans. It gets worse :3

Ilia was also one of the very few villains in the show to be redeemed. How was she redeemed? 

By being told by the much-more privileged, whiter minority girl whom she had a crush on that what ilia was fighting for was Bad. How Ilia was fighting for it was Bad. The White Fang? Baaaad. How dare the MINORITIES FIGHT WITH NEEDED VIOLENCE for their basic living rights against the POOR WIDDLE OPPRESSORS! It’s THEIR fault they’re oppressed, because they’re making the humans uncomfortable and angry! They need to just keep their dirty mouths shut and be good, presentable minorities. 

And upon being redeemed, Ilia is immediately put on a bus. Shelved.

And let me remind you again. Who was redeemed through being told by her much whiter (I say whiter in a way not to demean Blake btw, as privileged as she is she is still a minority obviously. Just… stating facts) friend that “a minority Shouldn’t use violence against their oppressors for their rights. It’s Their fault the humans are still so racist towards them. The Faunus should stop being so aggressive and be peaceful”? 

Not only the lesbian character, but…

The indigenous girl.

The.

Indigenous.

Girl. 

I’m sure I don’t need to point out how fucked this is. Let alone the fact this whole show is written in fucking Texas. 

It’s no secret, as much as some try to make it be, how horribly Native Americans and indigenous people have been treated throughout history. The oppression they have faced stems back centuries. Their land and home was stolen from them. 

Their own culture was all but forcefully eradicated. 

Men, women, children, were all genocided. 

To this very day it’s all they can do to fight for not only their own rights as people, but the very lands that were stolen from them. 

So for this show to write… it’s Indigenous

WOMAN

‘s character being “redeemed” by learning “Peaceful protest is good, violent protest for your living rights bad!” is… sickening. Genuinely. Fucking. Sickening. 

But maybe that violent protest WAS bad! Maybe, it was going nowhere and really causing the problems. Who the hell would ever try and implement that? Who leads the White Fang? 

…You wanna know? 

Don’t bother. 

Sienna is a character we see for. One. Scene. One scene and she’s GONE. dead, stabbed, thrown down some stairs. We know very little about her, but we know a lot of her actions. 

Under her rule as high leader, she got shit gone. Through her use of violence against the oppressive humans, she did in five years what many before her couldn’t in decades: Her methods were working. Her people were being given rights.

But noooooooo!!!!!!!!! We can’t have the Woman of Color in power be CORRECT. Her methods were WRONG, MONSTROUS! How dare she end slavery and fight against oppression?! She should’ve just asked NICELY! Just like Blake told—

Wait… Blake? BLAKE?!

BLAAAAAAAAKEEEEE!!!!!

Blake is one of 4 main characters in RW//BY, and she was easily my favorite. Fierce and a bookworm, an ex-freedom fighter who was quick to call out Miss Rich “White Snow” on her bullshit. She was fun, strong, and like the show said itself, she was Feisty.

I miss that Blake, tails. I miss her a lot. I’ll be back. 

Nowadays, that feisty personality she has has been diminished so she can be all meek and quiet and sweet for her white human friends. 

(and just now in v9, she’s completely fine with being referred to as an animal. Sienna in honorary heaven: she would not fucking say that.) 

White fans and likely the writers themselves were too uncomfortable having to face that all majority people still benefit from a society built on and from deep systemic racism, so they wrote Blake to be an All Lives Matter doormat so she was more palatable Blake saw the error of the White Fang’s ways and how their justified acts of violent protest against the privileged majority were making the humans SCAWED🥺, so she stood before them all and put her status as literal Faunus princess to good use: telling all those like her who’d suffered beneath the humans’ oppression that they were wrong. How could they fight back violently? They did this to themselves. They brought the oppression, the enslavement, the bigotry and cruelty upon themselves because they just didn’t play nice enough. 

Fuck, even when she’s in the “City of Racism” Atlas, she’s too busy being uwu sad and nervous and having to rely on others (funny how instead of ever empowering her again, they write Blake as this submissive docile flower baby immediately after hey reveal she was an abuse victim. Real fucking funny. Laughing my eyes out of my skull with a toothpick.) except for when she jokingly comments how rich the Schnees are and how they own basically everything. 

Past Blake wouldn’t be laughing about that. She’d use it against the Schnees, rightfully. 

But we can’t have that. She’s the good minority, who keeps her mouth shut tight and looks pretty for the camera. 

But… about that bigotry. That oppression, that racism… do we ever see that? 

lol fuck no

We hear of how horribly the Faunus people are treated. Controversial labor forces that keep them as slaves to the SDC. Treated like dirt and beaten and killed and lynched. 

We hear. We hear of that. 

In the show, we get… a No Faunus sign put out in some background places. And the equal opportunist bully bullying a bunny girl.

That’s it. Background shit. Background shit that could easily be interpreted differently, or missed completely if you fucking blink.

There has only been one point where the true extent of this oppression is shown to us. One point which… 

we’ll fucking get to. 

But there’s one thing I’ve mentioned rather frequently throughout this rant. Two, technically. The Schnee family and the SDC. 

Let’s talk. Let’s. Fucking. Talk. 

*sighs*

So this show demonizes it’s fictional worlds only freedom fighting organization, so surely they do the same for the oppressive Amazon company that has a chokehold on the economy of an entire—

In the early volumes, Weiss, another main character, was extremely racist to those who were Faunus. She was also the daughter of the Richy Rich Bitch Family of “CEOs of Racism”. Her older sister was a cop, her younger brother out of the picture until V4, her mother a neglectful abusive alcoholic (she is a victim too but neglect. is. abuse.), her father a racist abusive asshole who looks like I could break him like a bendy straw. But her racism isn’t her fault at all! No, the dirty minorities in the White Fang who were terrorizing the richest of the rich were what made her racist. It was never her fault, only the scary minorities. 

How dare the marginalized be so evil.

But she apologizes off screen and is no longer racist! Yippee! At least we marked “Racist” off her “Racist Blood Purist Rich White Weiss” card! she’s White Savior Blood Purist Rich White Weiss now! Now we can make fun of how much shit her family owns. 

But before all that, she and her girlfriend battle… a black man! Gasp! Who… says before the fight, her family’s company put his family’s business OUT of business! 

A throwaway line before he and his bestie get beaten. Also just realized as I type: not only did Weiss battle a black character who was affected by her family company’s monopoly, but… a Faunus. Another one for the jar.

B-But Blake knows Ilia was affected by the SDC, too! It orphaned her, because in their mines Faunus weren’t given nearly as much safety. Surely she can tell Weiss and have her see—

*Ruby voice* nope. Nope! Ilia was being violent for equality, and that’s no good. So she learns that all their oppressors (likely including the SDC)are really just SCARED of them! So she’s redeemed and becomes peaceful. The Lakota indigenous girl is turned “good.”

But maybe once they’re in Atlas—

Jokes are made about how FUNNY LOL XD it is that her family owns so much, and they’re appalled by how… literally fucking normal Mantle is, as if it’s just an utter travesty to their eyes. She doesn’t want to outright abolish the corrupt SDC, which basically rides on Atlas like a parasite, but instead free it from the dirty-blooded clutches of her father, and return it to the Pure Blooded Schnees, who will use it righteously, in Santa Schnee’s name!

She’s the granddaughter of a hero, after all. A hero who monopolized and capitalized the world’s resources and began a chokehold on an entire kingdom with how vital the Resources became, all the while implementing minority slave labor.

Because we can’t have our pretty princess Weiss face any consequences. We can’t have one of ours mains face consequences. Realize her privilege and try and do something. We can’t make our writers uncomfortable!

And this extends to Winter, too! The woman as racist as Weiss was, but without the “”excuse””, who is also a cop, and who… punches, kneels over one of the characters who is both an in-universe minority of a Dog and easily the darkest skinned character, and tells him; “You want a collar? Fine.”

But the Pure Blood Schnees are good. They’re beautiful and powerful. Even if Weiss has that scar, it’s as tiny as can be so to not ruin her pretty face. Let’s give the rich white family all the angelic imagery. Let’s show Weiss with wings. 

Twice. Twice with white, huge and glowing angel’s wings. 

Looking pure and holy. Pure. And. Holy. 

But Angel imagery? Surely there’s a contrast. Demonic imagery: like the horns, black and red, something to do with darkness and the moon, who should that belong to? If the rich, white, blood purist main girl Weiss gets the angel wings, pretty face and princess aesthetic… who deserves to be the demon of Remnant? 

…Oh, I know the answer to this one! It’s—

Throughout this whole post, there’s been one character I’ve purposefully neglected mentioning by name.

 Adam.

We didn’t see the guy much. Black trailer, V2, V3, V5, V6. And he was really only reoccurring in V5, which… 😶

But from what we did see, we saw the Face of the White Fang. We saw someone who did bad things for the right causes. We saw someone who despised his oppressors, but who seemed to care for his fellow Faunus. We saw…

a fucking lie. A headcanon, perhaps. Badum tss.

What Adam REALLY WAS was an abusive cruel irredeemably evil monster jerkface asshole creep bitch who NEVER cared about his own people, NEVER cared about his people’s rights, NEVER wanted anything more than glory and power and to be lionized. 

The minority character, by the way.

Why did the writers decide to make this guy the hatesink? Why did they decide to make Adam suddenly not care about his fellow people’s rights? 

Why did they decide to make him laughably cruel to his own people whom he seemed to genuinely care for before (like in that scene in volume 3, where he only agrees to go along w/ cinder after she starts KILLING FAUNUS, but maybe that scene was a headcanon too, all in le head)

Why did they decide to make the goals of one of their in universe minority characters to be wanting nothing but fame and power?

Why did they also write him to be a former child slave?

Volume 6 is one of my more liked volumes, with it (for me) easily being the best looking, and the horror stuff was great. Also, Maria. 

But then they threw Adam in last minute. One last kick of that dead bull. 

He comes back in his finest NieR: Automata cosplay and starts spouting some of the most embarrassingly bad dialog this show has had while fighting Blang (basically that one fucking hilarious “Boobs in my mouth please please please hello You’re nothing” post as dialog), and it’s in this that, after 6 volumes, we finally see his face. 

Adam was branded. I’m not putting that shit lightly, Adam was fucking branded. 

And the brand is used to show how evil HE is. He was hurt more by his gf leaving him than ANY scar ever would. Who cares about all the trauma he surely went through in slavery, he sure fucking doesn’t! Okay, Cameraman Mike, be sure to focus a whole bunch of shots on his brand, which is still blood red and grotesque, to really hammer the point in how much of an asshole he is. 

Never mind it’s a brand of the SDC, of which one of our main character’s family owns. Who cares if this is literally the only time we’re shown the true extent of racism against Faunus? 

It’s swept aside! Because the same episode we’re given one of the most honestly depressing reveals for a villain yet is the same episode that villain dies. 

Dies with the brand facing the camera. His death. Entirely. On. Screen. 

Thank fuck Adam was written as an irredeemable monster of a villain(/j), because they literally wrote, animated, and voiced a scene where we the viewers watch a former child slave, branded and blinded over an eye, have his death be entirely on screen. A slow death, entirely on screen. 

Adam, a former slave to the SDC who, sometime during his childhood was branded and permanently blinded, died more slowly… more gruesomely… than Jacques fucking Schnee did. 

Even died before him, too.

But notice one thing. I keep referring to him as having been a “child slave.” Emphasis on child. 

Don’t blame me. Blame your fucking writers. 

I want you to read this. Read this paragraph. Twice, if you have to. As many times as you need to to get the fact into your head that THIS IS FUCKING VILE.

This is in the writers commentary track for volume 7. They tiptoe around with their words, but I’ll translate it to the best of my ability. In it, Miles shared a particular headcanon: in which the 

FUCKING VILLAIN HE WROTE TO HAVE BEEN A CHILD SLAVE TO THE SCHNEE DUST COMPANY GOT HIMSELF BRANDED FOR BEING TOO MUCH OF A LITTLE SHIT TO KEEP HIS DIRTY TRAP SHUT. 

SO THEN ONE OF HIS CAPTORS HELD THIS CHILD DOWN TO THE GROUND AND JAMMED A CATTLE PROD DOWN WITH THE SDC PROPERTY LOGO ONTO HIS EYE.

THAT LITTLE BOY SURE HAD IT COMING, HUH? HE’S ALWAYS BEEN SUCH AN INSUFFERABLE LITTLE PRICK, EVEN AS A CHILD IN SLAVERY. HIS CAPTORS REALLY LET HIM HAVE IT!

LET. 

HIM. 

HAVE. 

IT. 

THEY WRITE AND HEADCANON A FICTIONAL CHILD SLAVE BEING BRANDED IN THE EYE AFTER HE STARTS THE FIGHT. HE STARTED IT. 

THEY WRITE AND HEADCANON A FICTIONAL CHILD SLAVE BEING BRANDED IN THE EYE AND GROWING UP TO BECOME A HORRIBLE, DISGUSTING DEMON.

THEY WRITE AND HEADCANON A FICTIONAL CHILD SLAVE BEING BRANDED IN THE EYE AND HIS CAPTOR JUST “LET HIM HAVE IT.”

“LET HIM HAVE IT,” NOT IN REFERRAL TO A MINORITY BEING HATE CRIMED.

“LET HIM HAVE IT,” NOT IN REFERRAL TO A MINORITY SLAVE BEING PERMANENTLY SCARRED. 

“LET HIM HAVE IT” IN REFERRAL TO A MINORITY CHILD SLAVE BEING BRANDED AS PROPERTY IN THE EYE BY HIS CAPTORS.

And I think this says it all. From the white and the black, blue and the red, oppressor and oppressed and angel and demon, Weiss and Adam almost mirror each other. 

Just look at their scars. Theirs are on the same side. 

But while Weiss’s is the smallest, prettiest scar of all,

The brand of the SDC all but covers half of Adam’s face, in all it’s grotesque, blood red and hideous glory.

I’ll let you guess the implications. 

Killing off a WOC in power the very scene she’s introduced. Showing the Lakota girl the “right way to protest”. Painting the oppressors in a more positive light than ever showing the oppressed be oppressed. Showing your hatesink character had been branded in the eye the same episode he dies on screen. And this is what broke me. 

They’d read in the history books of children forced into slavery slaves being branded

and they’d see the backstory for a villain.

Because we can’t write the minorities fighting against their oppressors to be justifiable!

We can’t face how a member of the majority will almost always benefit from an oppressive system!

We can’t write the pretty white rich family of Fantasy-Amazon owners as wrong for their horrible practices both past and present!

We can’t let the WOC be right about violent protest!

We can’t let the native girl be angry and fight back against her oppressors!

We can’t have a shred of sympathy for the ex slave who was branded while he was a boy!

Because they did this. 

Faunus. 

#rwde #seriously long post #image heavy #long post

[arwenadreamer]

Let me tell you a bit about my wonderful, wonderful JiB 11 experiences.

It finally happened! I've met Jared Padalecki!

First thing Saturday morning I went to his auto. I had bought a moose notebook back in 2019 when I got the JiB tickets, and have been waiting to give it to him ever since. He looked at it, then visibly did a double take and started to laugh. I told him "Back when I got the notebook you had this huge hiatus beard!" He smiled, stroked with his knuckles over his own beard and said "I'll get there again!".

Next up was my Jared photo. While I was standing in line for the OP, he made eye contact two times, very briefly, and I almost died on the spot. Lol. I am an aro/ace woman in my fourties, but this man is killing me!

We took the picture, I said thank you and turned away. While I was turning away, his hand stayed on my back, and he rubbed me twice in circles. I don't remember much from this op, but I do remember the feeling of him stroking by back in circles. I also remember the feeling of his chin on top of my head. And how cold that stupid (sorry) Gucci jacket was against my face.

I'm not putting an uncensored picture on here, but believe me, I couldn't smile any more if I tried. I have a look on my face that is completely over the moon, but who can blame me?

With Jensen, I asked him to be hugged from behind, and I really love this photo too. I just wish I had left my jacket on. My bare arms don't look so good on here. But that's just me being self critical. So what the heck, I'm gonna share it with you anyways.

@takikojou and me planned on standing in line for a question at the first panel sunday morning. (A Jared solo panel.) I knew what question I wanted to ask, but I planned on writing it down. Just to be sure I'd get it right.

But while we were sitting in the Saturday evening Jared solo panel, close to the right hand side microphone for questions, the queue on that side was getting shorter and shorter, and suddenly there was no one standing in line at all. On the other side there were still plenty of people queing, and there was also quite some time left on the panel. So I just got up and went up to the micro without thinking. While I was standing there, my heart beat like crazy. I have no idea what was being said during the question Jared was currently answering. I just tried to get the question right in my head. When it was my turn, I asked him:

"At the last JiB I asked Jensen a question for both of you -"

Jared: "I wasn't there last JiB."

Me: "I know."

(That sounded rather rude-ish, but I swear I didn't mean it that way. I was just so incredibly nervouse.)

Me: "I asked Jensen to answer for both of you and he did, but he also said you would probably have this long insidefull answer. So now I'm asking you. What aspect of Sam's and Dean's personality was hardest to act?" And then, because I was kind of besides myself, I felt the need to clarify "Sam, in your case."

Jared said that a lot of Sam came pretty natural to him, and he gives credit for that to the writers who got to know who he is and wrote Sam that way. As an example he mentions Sam's "empathetic puppy dog eyes" written in scripts. He then says that the hardest part to act was Sam's kind of comedy. Because for him Sam's kind of comedy was hard to find. And that maybe that was correct, because Sam didn't think of himself as a funny person. Whereas Cordell Walker's kind of comedy is basically Jared's kind of comedy.

He concluded: "That's my answer. I hope it lived up to Jensen's expectations." Lol.

That's when I messed up completely in my nervousnes. Because I repeated Jensen's answer the wrong way around. Jensen had said for Jared it would be "having a shorter older brother". But I said to Jared:

"Jensen said it would be having a taller older brother."

But Jared, being the intelligent man he is, and knowing Jensen the way he does, immediately made sense of it.

"I guess for me it would be having a shorter older brother. Because my brother is taller than I am. So."

And with that he basically repeated Jensen's answer for him from JiB 12. Lol.

Here's the video, if you're interested. My question starts at around 19:10.

As I've just rewatched the video, I've realised that he was looking at me a lot. Unfortunately, I couldn't really see from my position at the microphone. In a panel on the next day Jared mentions that everybody on that microphone is squinting and shielding their eyes. There was this bright light shining right in peoples eyes over there. They dialed it down a bit after Jared mentioning it on Sunday, but Saturday, I could hardly make him out on stage.

On Sunday came my long awaited J2 OP. I asked them if they could look like Sam and Dean as opposed to Jared and Jensen. They both said sure and we did the OP. When I left I said thank you. Jensen answered in the most Texas drawl "You're welcome!". I loved the way he said it.

I also love the OP! I tried to smile a bit less, to make it more of a Winchester pic. I failed horribly at that. But again, who can blame me?

On my other post someone commented it looks like Sam and Dean are confused that there is someone in between their hug. And that is so true, lol. "Sorry, boy's, I'll get out of your way, now."

When I went to the Jensen auto with my friend, we were waiting in line inside the auto room, even though Jensen was not there yet. But Jared was. He was sitting at the table, giving auto's. I was standing at a point in line that was basically closest to Jared for about 20 to 30 minutes, without my line moving. So I had plenty of time watching Jared from about 3 meters away. And I was blown away by his kindness, his gentle and funny nature. What everyone says about him is absolutely true. He really makes these short interactions for everyone special. And his full attention is at the person in front of him. Always. It's one thing to experience that in person for one short interaction. It's another to witness that with dozen's of people. It's not just one friendly hello after the other. (Which, honestly, would be enough to ask for.) It's that his facial expression changes with every person. With some he laughs, with some he's serious. He's listening intently if someone talks to him. I could't here what was being said (and wouldn't have wanted to eavesdrop anyway), and couldn't see what he signed. But I saw his face. I saw he reacted to that. And it never seemed forced. He just is that kind of person. Genuine. Empathetic. I only saw one thing given to him. And I had to laugh. Someone brought him Haribo gummy bears. He was so FAST taking that and slipping it into the bag for presents he had behind the table. It was a blink and you'll miss it moment. Lol. I guess that's also genuinely him. He loves his sweets.

Then Jensen arrived and I had my autograph. He was really, really nice and attentive too. Jensen also always makes sure to look up at the end of each auto and look people in the eye.

I had so many great interactions throughout the convention, and everything I had hoped for had come true already. There were just a few panels left I wanted to watch.

So @takikojou and I went into the panel room for the Jared and Misha panel. And she points out that there is no-one at the microphone on the left hand side yet. She asked me to stand in line with her. So I did. I quickly came up with a question for both of them. I didn't want to ask a Jared only question at a Mishalecki panel. I thought that would be rude.

So I wanted to ask where in Germany besides Berlin they had been. I thought this would be a short question with short answers, nothing special. But then Jared Padalecki basically had a whole conversation with me, and it turned into the most amazing moment of the whole JiB convention!

I'll leave the link here. It starts at 7:20

You may have seen videos where people stand in the hallway at the end of JiB con, and the actors come out to walk through the people, giving high fives and stuff. There's a small area where people can stand, behind barrier tapes. When my friends and me came out of the panel room, that area was already crowded. So we just left the convention area through a hallway in which no-one was allowed to stand. But at the end of the hallway people gathered again. My friends and I got a really good place there, right at the end of the hallway, where the room opens again. Security quickly put up more barrier tapes. So basically, it was a espallier (? that what you call it? ) of people, then a hallway, and then another espallier of people, forming one long line.

People in the first area where shouting for Jensen to come out, and he did. But he didn't see us down at the second area at the end of the hallway, so the turned around and went back into the green room again. Same with Jared after that. They just didn't see us. I know because I was the first person at the end of the hallway and had a perfect view all the way up. They didn't even look in our direction. And they couldn't hear us over the loud crowd in area one.

Then came Rob, and he saw us. When he realised there were so many more people down there, he just started a sprint and came to us. The security guard accompaniying him was completely taken by surprise and had trouble keeping up, lol. Rob went through our row, and so did every other actor after that.

Matt Cohen was last. He went through our row, and when he came back, while passing me, I asked him:

"Matt, can you ask Jared and Jensen to come down here as well?"

He said he would. And he did.

A few minutes later all the actors came out together, and they all came into our second area.

I thought that was a pretty great grand finale. But then my friend surprised me with a can of FBBC beer she had brought from Austin to share with me. And that was just the crown on top of an overwhelming, amazing, wonderful weekend. I had the time of my life! And I am so grateful I got to share it all with @takikojou and M. It would not have been half as wonderful without you two!

#JiB 11 #arwenas jib 11 experiences #Jared Padalecki #Jared Padalecki admiration #Jensen Ackles #Youtube

[lord-squiggletits]

hello ^^ ! i really like all your posts about megatron and optimus - the introspectives are really good, and it made me appreciate their characters so much- you manage to put into words a lot lot of what i feel about idw optimus, and i actually had to walk around my entire room after reading your thoughts because there is honestly nothing i love more than the recognition of how gritty and messy -and thoroughly trying his best- optimus is !! his choices in leadership (from good to bad to worse to I-wouldnt-wish-this-decision-making-position-on-my-worst-enemy) are so incredibly just. human and natural. he’s not a paragon of leadership and thats literally awesome. his intentions are genuine and I love portrayals of him that show that good intentions alone isn’t enough. situations where optimus doesn’t know what to do and by god he shouldnt be calling the shots right now but he does anyways because its expected of him and he is acutely aware so much relies on him to make the calls -> things go from bad to worse >>>>>>>> ITS SO PEAK !!!!! dont get me started on megatron thats a giant . waffle post for another time. something something the way megatron’s beliefs and ideals deteriorate into his personal grudges against optimus until he loses sight of what hes fighting for + the way optimus starts off very emotionally oriented until 4 million years of war sort of hard-codes ‘what will benefit the greater good’ into his thinking patterns (unfortunately Not A Great Mindset To Constantly Be Haunted By) (WITH a mash of personally-driven issues he tries quashing away) . really awsome. thank you for sharing your posts ^_^ !! theyre very very cool and inspired me to draw them more!!!!

YEEEAAAAAAAAAAAH ANOTHER IDW OP/IDW MEGOP ENJOYER and this ask is so cool too!

In addition to that upcoming post (not today perhaps but soon) I'm planning on rewriting all of my meta and posting them on AO3 with more citations via screenshots of the comics, as well as possibly bringing in quotes from actual literary essays and books and history and shit to contextualize the way that my reading of IDW OP is informed by the other literature I've read in the past. Glad someone really really enjoys my thoughts!

#squiggle answers #idw op love

[bots-and-cons]

Idk if there already is an 🦿anon but if not here i am

We need some dark shit with no happy ending. I was thinking like bots are visiting earth and find out their charge died from cancer but before passing they made a little goodbye video for bots especially their guardian.

I thought it would look better as a scenario but if its easier for you the please do hcs

For the bots i really wanted to read our grumpy medic, OP and wheeljack

Youre an amazing writer idk how are you doing this

Keep up the amazing work❤

I sort of did this for Jackie a while back, you can find that post here, so I won't be writing it again. I tried to give this a darker ending, and not a kind of hopeful one like I usually would. Also thank you very much and hello leg anon :D

~Optimus Prime~

You had been diagnosed a few months after the autobots had left earth and you really wanted to tell Optimus, but you had no way of doing so. You had been given approximately a year to live, and you held out hope for seeing him until your very last moments.

When Optimus returned to earth after over two and half years on Cybertron, he was contacted by Fowler, who gave him a memory stick, telling Optimus you had asked him to give it to him. Optimus of course wondered why you couldn’t just give it to him yourself, but the reason was about to become very clear to him.

He tried to call you, but the number apparently was not in use anymore, which he just explained away with you changing your number.

When he couldn’t contact you, he decided to see what was on the memory stick. He plugged it into the old base computer, and a window popped up with a loading icon.

You appeared on screen, and the video started playing.

“Hey Optimus!” you said with a bit of a forcefully chipper demeanor. “I wonder if you’ll ever actually see this, or if you’ll come back before… Well I guess I should explain why I’m making this first” your smile started to fade as you continued talking to the camera. “I was diagnosed with MBC. That stands for metastatic breast cancer and to be totally honest, I’m going to die from it and probably quite soon”

Optimus paused the video. He was well aware this wasn’t a joke, you wouldn’t do that, you weren’t that kind of person, but he also couldn’t see how this could be real. He decided to continue the video.

“I decided to film this for you, and maybe for myself too, to make sense of this whole dying thing. It doesn’t feel real, I mean I can feel my body basically decaying, but it’s like I still haven’t accepted what that means. I wanted to tell you I miss you and I hope to see you before I’m gone. I also want to be honest with you, I hated you for a while after my diagnosis, because you weren’t here and I felt so damn alone” you turned away from the camera a bit and wiped your eyes. 

Optimus was filled with grief and confusion. He was also angry at himself, for not leaving you a way to contact him. There was a small pause before you continued.

“Anyway I’ve come to terms with that I guess, I just still don’t understand how this whole thing can have such bad timing. If I was going to die anyway, I’d rather it had been with you and the rest of the team here” you started having a hard time with keeping yourself together.

“There are so many things I wanted to tell you, but now that I’m actually doing this, not a single one comes to mind. I guess it’s just time for me to say goodbye” you waved at the camera and the video stopped on you with a small smile on your face and eyes closed with some tears brimming in your eyes.

That was the last Optimus saw of you. You were dead now and he would never see you again.

Optimus hadn’t even noticed how weak the whole situation had made him feel, before he was suddenly on his knees on the floor, holding onto the edge of the computer screen. He felt weak and his spark felt like it was about to explode out of his chest. Above all he felt empty, he felt like a part of him had been ripped away, someone he had held so dear, his friend, was gone and there was nothing that could change that.

~Ratchet~

You didn’t really know how to start the video. You didn’t really feel like explaining the whole thing to someone again. So you were just going to make it short and to the point.

“Hey Ratch. I’m just gonna keep this short. I’m dying and I don’t have much time left, so I just wanted to tell you some things. First of all, you’ll always be dear to me, no matter where I end up or what happens to me. Second of all, I know you’re gonna feel guilty about not being here with me in my last moments, but you shouldn’t. No one knows when shit like this is gonna happen so, there’s no reason for you to feel bad about it. I mean yeah, dying sucks, but there’s nothing I can do about it. So, goodbye Ratchet, take care of yourself”

The video ended and the screen went black. Ratchet was left feeling all kinds of things, but mostly he felt broken, like a piece of him had broken into a million smaller pieces that were impossible to pick up and put back together again. He had lost friends before, but it  was due to war, there had been a reason for their deaths. For you, it was some illness that you had no chance of winning against, you had nothing to fight against, no war to win. 

There was no one else around while Ratchet watched the video, so there was no one to see him completely break down over it. The tears were streaming down his face and he was sobbing, trying to keep his voice down, covering his mouth with his hand, so nobody would hear him. He didn’t want anyone seeing him like this, he didn’t want their pity or to hear how sorry they were about his loss. That wouldn’t bring you back.

Sure you had been friends with the other team members too, but your relationship with Ratchet had been different, you were like family to each other. Your memory would live on with him, long after you were gone and he would always remember you.

#transformers #tfp #transformers prime #autobots #ratchet #optimus prime #tfp scenarios #transformers angst #reader insert #platonic transformers x reader

[student-in-nightraven]

can you do chubby mc 😍😍 any characters is fine!! Hcs or ff you pick!! You can ignore this if ur uncomfy

Of course!and that doesn't make me uncomfortable at all it's a normal topic! I made the MC nonbinary because you didn't say what gender so just in case! Hope you enjoy, thank you for the request <3

Lucifer

He didn't notice at first because he was too busy trying to keep you alive in Devildom but once he did he didn't think much of it because it's just a human body nothing important. Once he got closer to you and warmed up to you he started giving you headpats out of nowhere (I stand by the fact that lucifer gives headpats often) and then one day he found out that some humans are rude and harass those who's body's look "different" and "Don't fit the beauty standards"...."pardon me but wtf?" Was he's exact thought, chubby people are THE beauty, he's met so many Goddesses and Angels who are chubby. Everyone looked up to them and everyone thought they were beautiful, heck even him. So he was really pissed off at that, but hey some humans are dumber than Mammon so what can you do?.

Anyway after that he made sure you knew you were beautiful even tho you are, especially if you were insecure, my guy started spending he's money to buy you gifts (ofc he didn't give you them right away so that he didn't seem desperate and soft he's pride would never let him) also he shares he's coffee with you, you guys have a coffee break everyday yay!

"So how's your headache?" MC asked jokingly, "well as long as my brothers are immature absolutely terrible, *sigh* I have no idea how they haven't matured yet" lucifer said as he brought he's palm to he's head, mc chuckled and took a sip of their coffee "they will mature one day don't worry" "mhm by then my hair will be whiter than Solomon's" lucifer joked as he drank he's coffee "But anywho how are things with your tasks?" "Meh nothing new, I'm getting better at demonology that's for sure" MC smiled, lucifer smiled back and took their hand in he's, "By the way, thank you lucifer, for the gifts, it really means a lot" mc said with a closed smile, Lucifer's grip tightened on their hand and used the other free hand to pat their head, MC laughed. The coffee break soon came to an end and Lucifer got up as did Mc "alright we should get back to our tasks now " lucifer said and MC nodded, before leaving tho, lucifer grabbed their hand and kissed their knuckles and bid them goodbye. ( This mans flirting will be the end of you one day)

Mammon

Okay so like lucifer he didn't think much of it as well, he was just annoyed he has to show you around because "he lost he's precious time spending money". But after warming up to you and everything he just l o v e d putting he's head in your lap, it was just heaven, he especially loved spooning you at night because it was so fluffy manz was astonished, but then he came across someone on the internet making fun of chubby people and he was so mad, my guy cursed that person and sent bad luck to them (I hc that he can give people bad luck)and after that he spent money on whatever you wanted, even if you told him it was enough he did not stop, clothes? You got it. shoes? The package is at your door. Accessories? He's putting one on you rn. Like he says in he's song, he's head over heels for you so he'll buy you anything, he's love language IS gift giving soo. But of course he also gives you physical affection, but since he's a tsundere mf it'll be hard for him to make the first move but it's fine because he'll find a way to make it seem like "yOur the one who wants a hug from thE gRrrreat Mammon!"

"alright MC what colour is your favourite?" He asked on the phone "it's f/c, why do you ask?" "Nothin nothin~ you'll find out soon enough! The great mammon has to go now, bye bye human!!" Weird. You thought, but shrugged it off. Later that day you heard a knock on your door and opened it, but there was no one there, when you looked down you saw a yellow box and you took it in, once you opened it you saw a pair of f/c shoes, you knew exactly who the person behind this was, smiled and hugged the shoes closer to you, what you didn't know is that that certain someone was hiding behind a wall and enjoying your happiness, satisfied that you got your gift he went back to his room.

Leviathan

When he first saw you he's first thought was "oh.my.diavolo. THEY LOOK LIKE THE CUTE ANIME CHARACTERS WITH FLUFFY ARMS AND LEGSAAAAA" he was squealing when he saw you. Tho he was still jealous of you. After the whole thing tho he warmed up to you and started showing you animes that included characters that reminded him of you. Like the rest tho, once he found out people didn't like those who's body's were "different" he was so upset, on the internet if he saw someone say shit about you he'd find their IP, address, bank account everything and expose their sorry ass (bank one gets to mammon)

"MC MC look!" He yelled out to you while excitedly showing you he's new anime figurine that had a lot of your features " Wow levi that looks so cool! They look nice" "I know! They reminded me of you so I bought it, uhm...you can have it.." Leviathan said shyly, mc chuckled and patted him on the head "it's alright levi you keep it" Leviathan shook he's head "no, I wanna give it to you, you rarely have any figurines since your a normie.. "am not-" SHUSH. So I'm giving this to you" Leviathan handed the figurine to you, you took it and held it close to your chest raising your head up to meet he's eyes and smiled at him "thank you Levi, really this means a lot to me I appreciate it" Leviathan blushed as he tried to cover it but with the back of he's hand while looking away "n no problem normie.." he may have made a rude remark that made you laugh but at that moment he was filled with love and adoration for you:).

Catan (sorry I don't really feel comfortable saying he's actual name-)

When you first came to Devildom he was intrigued by your body, he's read many books about the unique human bodies so he was glad he got to see one up close. Once you 2 warmed up to eachother he started studying your body more and asking questions,with one of the questions he found out that people with other kinds of bodies were shamed and he was so mad. my boy had to be held back by diavolo barbatos lucifer and Beelzebub to not go in the human world and blow that shit up. After he calms down he comforts you (if you were bullied for it and even if you weren't bullied for it) He gives you forhead kisses all the time, he really likes when you 2 are in the library or he's room (those 2 are basically the same thing but still) in eachother's embrace reading books in relaxing silence oh and also this man has 7 heart attacks when he sees you cuddled up to a cat, you just look so damn adorable with the fluffy cats he just. he's gonna faint.

Soft fur brushes against your leg as a grey cat meows at you, you smile and pick it up cuddling it close to you, at that moment catan arrives (I can't take him seriously with the nickname I have him HELP)Ahem, at that moment Stan arrives with a book in he's hand for you two to read, the second he sees the sight of the 2 beings he loves most in he's life my guy is using every blood cell he has within to not faint and cry, clutching he's heart, I'm not joking he legit has to grab on SOMETHING nearby or he's gonna fall. When you see him you wave at him showing the cat " looks like mimi warmed up to me as well" you say while scratching he's head as he starts purring, "y..yeah I can *cough* see that" "Stan see you okay?..you don't seem well" you ask raising a brow "yeah yeah I'm fine I'm fine" he says, he definitely doesn't look fine tho, he finally manages to walk over to you, sitting next to you as he starts petting the cat as well, the cat then jumps out of your arms to wander off, you turn your head to Stan still smiling, he smiles back and holds the book in he's hands "okay let's read now" as you scoot closer and begin reading, Stan still hasn't gotten he's attention to the book, it's still to you, unable to resist himself anymore, he gives you a peck on the cheek, surprised by the sudden action your cheeks redden, you chuckle and kiss him on the cheek, you two laugh and then finally start reading (I love him sm but I can't say heS nAme)

Asmo

Okay this man. This man. Is the body worshiper👏👏👏. The second he sees you he starts squealing it doesn't matter what body type you have he is gonna love it, compliment it and get he's hands on it. Stan literally has to hold him back so he doesn't latch himself onto you. From day one this man cannot stop commenting how adorable you look, like the others once you 2 get closer he starts giving you MORE affection (If that's even possible)shopping with you, taking pictures, spa time etc. He knows how in the human world not all people accept and see the beauty of chubby people, and he's exact words are honey don't waste your time on them! It's not your fault those uneducated roaches don't know beauty. He loves squishing your cheeks sm( AYO NOT THAT KIND OF CHEEKS, WELL..if you want those can too

¯\_( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯) their just so squishy and soft!!

"MC how about we have a spa day!" "Sure asmo sounds good" he excitedly grabs your arm and takes you to he's room "oh wow I didn't know you already had the whole spa routine planned out" mc laughed surprised "I am always ready no matter what darling~" he said as he started getting the mask prepared to put on the both of you, as he was about to put on yours he giggled and squished your cheeks "asmo!" "Sorry you know I can't resist you! You just look so adorable I might love you more than myselff" asmo said dramatically you laughed as you squished he's cheeks back as revenge he gasped "oh you naughty MC!" He laughed and hugged you. (This man loves squishing you:'))

Beel

Like the rest he didn't care what you looked like he knew it was another human body, was probably munching on a gronila bar or something- after warming up to you he started sharing he's snacks with you (it was hard but he managed) he found out most humans were shamed for chubby bodies but he was confused because why? It's just a body, he was upset about it but as long as no one shames you he won't go to violence

The sound of someone roaming in the fridge was very loud and clear, the said someone was none other than beel, footsteps were heard from behind him and he froze, wide eyed looked behind him so fast afraid it was lucifer, he's tensed body soon relaxed once he saw it was you " MC whafsn arw youfh doimg uwp so mwate" you laughed " I can't understand what your saying beel" he swallowed the food and asked " MC what are you doing up so late?" "I wanted to get some water" he made an oh sound and looked back to the fridge, he looked in the fridge as he took out a doughnut giving it to you, you smiled as you thanked him, munching on the doughnut as beel went back to raiding the fridge. After midnight snacks you were about to head to bedroom but beel asked if you wanted him to carry you there instead you gladly took the opportunity and agreed. He gave you a piggyback ride, once you arrived there you plopped down but asked "do I weigh anything to you?" "No, it's just like holding a couple of grapes" he replied (this is a tt reference iykyk) you laughed, he bent down and hugged you closed eyes big smile "goodnight mc see you tomorrow" "goodnight beel see you soon" you two smiled and waved goodbye to eachother as you went back to your room . (Also you 2 always share snacks)

Belphie

Okay so to this guy didn't matter what your body looked like he still wanted to kill you because he hates humans, but after the whole thing and once you two were good and close he kept on apologising. Let me tell you belphie lives for chubby body's, the laps are just perfect to sleep on, thighs are he's high and he would love to stuff he's face on your stomach, in your neck or in your arms just anywhere as long as your content, he truly loves and worships your body and has no idea why most humans shame people with chubby body's

"see that's why I hate humans" belphie said as he's head was on your stomach "they are missing out." He said as he nuzzled closer to you even more, you chuckled and patted he's head playing with he's hair, belphie hummed pleased with the comfort your giving him, as he lifted he's head up and gave you a peck on the nose and went back to sleep on your stomach "I love you MC" "I love you too belphie" you replied while rubbing he's head lovingly, both happy in each others embrace.

The end

A/n: ITS FINNALY DONEE, sorry it took so long! I saw this request late BUT THANK YOU SM FOR THE REQUESTT my first ever request was very special i hope you enjoyed this <3

#obey me #obey me shall we date? #obey me oneshot #obey me x mc #obey me x reader #obey me lucifer x reader #obey me mammon x reader #obey me leviathan x reader #obey me satan x reader #obey me asmodeus x reader #obey me beelzebub x reader #obey me belphie x reader

[disabledunitypunk]

Hey, I'm the OP of the post you discuss here. I didn't write that post in any of those contexts you bring up, I wrote it in response to seeing people talk about disabilities or being disabled and then classifying disabilities into "physically disabled" and "neurodivergent", rather than "physically disabled" and "mentally disabled" (although the distinction wasn't even necessary for the specific post that inspired my vent). It doesn't have anything to do with specific communities, and I'm genuinely a bit lost about where all of this is coming from when I made that post out of mild annoyance that people will use "neurodivergent" as if it's always interchangeable with "mentally disabled", when mental disabilities are just some of many neurodivergencies. I wasn't annoyed about the neurodivergent community or the terms people use for themselves – I was annoyed by how people use the term as half of a binary for disabilities instead of, y'know, actually focusing on disabilities. It feels like it does a disservice to those who don't consider their neurodivergencies disabilities, as well as mentally disabled folks who don't use the umbrella term of neurodivergent. That's what I was venting about. Not about specific neurodivergent subcommunities.

Next time you're confused about one of my posts, please just message me instead of screenshotting my posts to post your own assumptions and comments about it. I'm very hurt by the fact you didn't bother to actually come to me with your concerns and have instead made a post that you admit is an "ungenerous reading" about a vent I would have been more than happy to elaborate on. It feels like you've been talking about me behind my back, which I do not appreciate.

I wanted to thank you for correcting us. I understand your frustration and want to apologize for our misunderstanding. I think honestly we were a bit afraid to reach out personally individually, but tried to at least avoid our platform bringing negative attention to your blog, but we went about it the wrong way. For both that and our misinterpretation, we apologize.

We've been trying to acknowledge where we are biased and ignorant due to trauma and other factors, but we still are sometimes wrong. For all that you were understandably frustrated with us, we appreciate your willingness to be patient and explain to us anyway, and to be kind despite where we screwed up in addressing that. We will do better going forward.

We have saved screenshots of the post that we can add to this ask for context at your discretion (because we very much do want to take responsibility for what we've said), but we've taken down the original post out of respect for your feelings on how we mishandled this. We tried to keep in mind from the beginning that it was a vent post that wouldn't explain every nuance that might be present within the conversation, but we still failed to take the time to really understand your perspective and reach out to you when we were confused.

I can explain further our background on where our response did come from if it would be helpful, but I won't force you to read it unsolicited, because the important thing is that we messed up and didn't come to you out of an irrational fear. While we have had bad experiences in the past, they have been with people who haven't shown the repeated patience and grace you have in the time we've interacted with you, and we should have had the courage to assume that you would continue to be so.

We're not always good at apologies, so if there's anything else that would be helpful to hear or for us to do, please let us know. We're sorry, and thank you for addressing this with us.

We have apologized directly to OP but want to make sure our followers have the opportunity to see their explanation as well, hence also answering the ask here.

-Mod Stars

#mod stars

[safe-ship]

Heads up about the safeship creator everyone, they refuse to provide accessibility to screen readers despite being asked to multiple times & is generally ableist. Below are some screenshots + a transcript of a really long paragraph rant went on.

Context: An anon asked her to stop using ! and 0s to censor proship related things. This was her response:

Context: The same anon sends another ask that the OP screenshotted. (I cannot find the post as it seems she either deleted it or Tumblr's search feature is funky)

Their response is copied + pasted below. Content warning for NSFW mentions, sexual harassment (of the anon), and guilt tripping.

Listen dude i do know better you fucking insufferable misinformed prick. I myself need readability accessibility with ny fucking aphasia that is only getting worse. I already know firsthand how little people give a shit about this stuff becuz i need it. I already have difficulty writing legibly okay. And i get a lot of shit over this disability that i dont deserve. I made this fucking tag to help others to the point that i dont even block the few people weve had problems with so that even if i have to sed it at least the tag will work well for others. So if i have to put a 0 and ! In the forbidden word to decrease how much extra stress is gonna be on me from putting it straight up on their dinner plates then im fucking going to. Why dont you get off your high horse and grow the fuck up and stop making fucking assumptions. Cause im doing a hell of a lot more of kindness and effort for accessibility than you are for saying its immoral for someone WHO NEEDS screendreaders and is ashamed about it to choose a fucking single exclammation point over getting the regular bullshit i put up with from people who wanna be pedos x100 so that you can feel good abt yourself becuz u would choose the latter. Whether ur also a screenreader needer or not what you are is a fuvking asshole becuz i literally have two spine surgeries voming up with a huge threat of bevoming a paraplegic or dead before then and i have a shortened lifespan from all my disabilities. I come into this community to cope with how shit my life is and i try to make it better for others no matter if its a little harder on me and i get nothin but disrespect from invasive and presumptuous assholes like u behind anon who dont wanna have a real vonversation with me or actually think abt anyone but yourself and how good it feels to stroke ur moral dick over the dying woman and i have had it up to here!

U guys wanna keep coming in my inbox being assholes to me? No nuance in life im a bitch? So little thanks nothing but pussies on anon talking shit or invading my privacy? Maybe someone the fuck else should try and run this ship then becuz im fed the hell up and abt to deactivate.

And even despite being told twice to provide accessibility, they continues to be inaccessible even excluding shipcourse.

And in regards to more of their ableism, they told someone to "develop a frontal lobe" which is harmful towards those with intellectual disabilities. For context: calicofemme was their old main.

Anyway, do what you will with this information. If anyone wants to add more things to this regarding her behavior, go ahead & I'll reblog it. I made this post to raise awareness of how the creator is harmful and shouldn't even be in this community because of how they go entirely against their motive for making it.

#safeship #safeshipping #self ship #self shipping #negativity

[sylvies-chen]

I wrote this at 1 am a few nights ago. Is it finished? Not really. But I’m too lazy to write an entire fic around one simple line I wanted Tim Bradford to say so… fuck it. Here’s a Chenford blurb!

••••••••

It’s not often Tim Bradford is shoving people into private rooms, least of all a walk-in closet. It’s not often he nudges anyone anywhere. When it comes to people he cares about, he makes a very specific rule of keeping his hands off. His paralyzing fear of becoming his father is to thank for the extra attention he puts twoards making sure of that. But now, as his mind has been racing for days, it builds up to this moment, right here and right now, where he’s frantic enough to be herding Lucy into what is arguablty the precinct’s nicest and most spacious walk-in supply closet (which the Smitty’s of the precinct have ranked as number one).

Because, as always, Lucy Chen is the exception to all of his rules.

“Wha—” she tries to protest but is too confused to do anything but oblige, and when she gets in the closet she spins on her heel. “What are you doing?”

“We need to talk.”

“See generally, a normal person would say that first! Before shoving someone in a closet!” She chastises him, clearly bewildered (and with good reason). Her hands move up to poke him in the chest with pinched fingers. “In fact, a normal person wouldn’t even need to be herding anyone anywhere like a sheep, because they would ask nicely!”

The growl in her tone is justified, and is just biting enough to make him put his spiralling brain aside for one moment and assuage his guilt. “I’m sorry,” he offers sincerely. “I just- I didn’t know where else to go. This is important.”

She looks him over for a second. Tim can’t imagine the sight she must be seeing. He’s agitated enough to be bouncing his leg, fidgeting with his hands, pacing back and forth in sweeping, angry strides. And when she sees that he’s serious, something in her switches. Her vague irritatuon fades into something more akin to concern and curiosity. “Ok,” she begins hesitantly. “Ok, then we can talk. What’s this about anyway?”

“That mission,” he mutters, almost as if talking to himself (which he partially is). “Ohhhh, that mission. That undercover op that ruined my life.”

“Yeesh,” she exclaims casually. “I know the op had its ups and downs but it was pretty successful in the end. It wasn’t smooth but I think ‘life-ruining’ is a pretty dramatic ajective.”

“Dramatic doesn’t mean it’s not true,” he argues. “I mean, something changed. I couldn’t tell when at first and everything was so muddled but… The mission was it. That was the turning point. It had to have been.”

“What are you talking about? You’re starting to worry me here, Tim.”

“It ruined everything,” he repeats. “It fried my brain, it made things awkward between us, my relationship with Ashley.”

“Things with us a— Wait, what?” She asks suddenly. “Did you just say your relationship with Ashley?”

His eyes go wide. Shit. He forgot to tell her about that part. “… Yes.”

“You guys broke up?” Lucy’s shock lingers for a second, and before he can answer she blinks it away and asks another question. “When did this happen?”

“Last week,” he admits.

“Wh— Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because of that stupid undercover mission,” he huffs loudly and with a growl. “This keeps happening.”

He feels something simmering in him: agitation, nervousness, god knows what. It seethes in his veins and bubbles in his voice.

“The flirting with Nova, Dim and Juicy being a couple.”

“What? What the hell are you talking about?”

“Twice now. Twice that we’ve had these weird alter egos or doppelgängers or— or whatever they’re called— that have been… involved. Doesn’t that bother you?”

“I-I don’t know,” she struggles to answer. (Tim wonders if she’s trying to figure out what he wants to hear.) “Not- not really. I mean c’mon, Tim, we can’t read too much into that.”

“Why not? We should be reading more into it,” he refutes, and even though he’s spiralling into an unstoppable panic and agitation, even though he knows he’s practically screaming now, flailing his arms, that he probably has the eyes of a wild man, he can’t stop it. He’s a train and Lucy Chen is derailing him completely. In all the worst, best ways.

“Oh my god, Tim, it’s alright,” Lucy insists, laughing in that exasperated I-hate-how-ridiculous-you’re-being kind of way. She teeters on the edge of being upset with him though. He can see her trying to mask something wounded in her eyes. “This stuff only has meaning if you give it meaning. If the idea of being with me— or of any people like us being together— is that disgusting, then just ignore it.”

Oh. So that’s what she’s offended by.

It’s confusing and overwhelming, the way he wants to reach out to her, grab her cheeks in his hands, and say baby, no, you are in no way disgusting. You could never be repulsive. His fantasy of doing this is evidence to the opposite.

Instead, this energy of his that’s ramping up to something keeps going. He shakes his head. “You don’t get it.”

She rolls her eyes, getting frustrated herself. Her energy finally matches his, until she shouts, “Get what?”

“Every version of me loves every version of you.”

The words rush out like water rapids against his tongue: rough, fast, clumsy, and above all else inevitable.

He tells himself that in an attempt to console himself. It was unavoidable. They had to have it out. He had to end his agony once and for all. It’s no use though, because she’s standing there, stunned and confused and trying to unpack all the layers what he’s just said, and looking at him like that, and jesus. He is an idiot.

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” he sighs in surrender.

“Like, just the others or—”

“Every. Version.”

“Oh.”

Yeah, he thinks awkwardly. His hands shove their way into his pockets and time stands still and even though it’s about seven weeks away from Christmas, he begins to sweat.

“I…” she begins to say, and is practically piercing holes through his pupils trying to search for something in them, some sign that this is real, that he’s not getting revenge for her prank those some odd years ago, that she isn’t dreaming up what he meant when he said that…

He gives her a small nod, as if to confirm it all, and something in her clicks.

Her lips part. He doesn’t know what that means— if she’s about to reject him, if she’s going to ask what the hell he meant or even reciprocate something, if she’s leaning in to… to…

But he doesn’t get to find out. Smitty finds them in his usual comically bad timing, and they’re forced to snap out of this alternate dimension they create when it’s just the two of them.

“Oh. Hey there, Serge,” Smitty greets Tim and Lucy in the supply, thought he’s playing Candy Crush on his phone and doesn’t seem to remark the strange nature of finding two cops in an enclosed space meant for mops. (For once, Tim actually thanks Smitty for his stupidity.) “Grey wants to see you in his office.”

Tim opens his mouth to protest. He swears he could scream at Smitty right now, shove him back and slam the door and tell him something private and important— so fucking important— is happening right now.

But all that comes out is a simple “Okay.”

He gives Lucy one last look. Her eyes are practically out of her head, which seems to be turning backcand forth between Tim and Smitty. In shock, in awe, or in relief, he doesn’t know. But he tries to say, as much as anyone can say anything with just their eyes, don’t go anywhere yet, this is just getting good.

With that, dashes out of the supply closet and runs off to Grey’s office, praying to god that when he comes back, she’ll be there. Waiting. It’s a risk, and god knows he doesn’t likes those, but it’s Lucy.

And so he prays.

#chenford #fanfic #fic tingz #lucy chen #tim bradford #the rookie

[a-force-dyad-in-space]

Me, in my XY feels after rewatching Yi City last night: Let me check the character tag for some nice content about him

Me, while checking the character tag: *sees the most misguided takes about his character, incl. one where OP genuinely believed he would still be the bloodlusty, revenge-filled monster, even if he'd grown up in security like WWX without going through the trauma of losing his finger*

Do I think he likely would have grown up with resentful feelings toward YZY if she'd whipped him growing up? Sure, if that had been the case, but I don't think she would have resented him enough to do so.

Why, you ask? Because the main reason why JFM was so attached to WWX and YZY felt so threatened in regards to JC's neglectment was because of his history with WWX's parents, especially his mother. XY has no relations to WWX's parents, has no history with the Jiang clan, thus YZY would have had no reason to treat him the way she treated WWX.

Ergo, his growing up with them likely would have been very peaceful for the most part and he probably would have grown up loved, sheltered and a lot more emotionally stable. Can I imagine him being quick to anger? Sure, but not necesserarily out of his own volition but by osmosis of having grown up with YZY (whose character traits also heavily influenced JC). He and JC might have ended up pretty similar, but not necessarily.

It was never that XY had no sense of justice, his sense of justice was just always inflated and self-centered. No one, and I mean NO ONE, was looking out for him and his safety and comfort, so him looking out for himself first by whatever means necessary was a natural consequence.

He was abused by pretty much everyone he ever met (he himself said he was ALWAYS beaten up by everyone) UNTIL Xiao Xingchen saved his life in Yi City. That was LITERALLY the first time anyone had ever shown him genuine kindness in his life.

"And he thanked him by using his blindness against him, bla bla bla, so that's proof that he always would have been a monster even if people were nice to him, wah wah wah" I'm sorry, but did you miss the part where he'd already been through 20+ years of trauma at that point??? You really, genuinely think that a XY who had never gone through any of his childhood and adolescent trauma would still have made the exact same choices he made in canon???

Sure, his trauma is not an excuse for his behavior, but then again, his behavior probably would not exist without it.

He's a very loving person when he allows himself to be, even though he doesn't know that what he's experiencing is love and devotion, no matter how messed up it may look.

And we all know the tricking-XXC-into-killing-innocents thing only happened for a limited time; eventually, he stopped doing that. He loved living with XXC and AQ, that much is evident. If SL hadn't shown up, he would have kept living with them until the end.

Anyway, those bad takes just disappointed me, and they worry me with how little sympathy or compassion there seem to be behind them.

#jen's ramblings #checking the tag was a mistake #horrible just horrible

[rakumel]

Today in more Xenoverse 2 news no one asked for:

I finally, FINALLY got an Ultimate Finish on PQ 122. By myself. As in, not co-op. Been struggling with that one for weeks, if not months.

I won't bore everyone with what a parallel quest in this game is, a search engine can take care of that. But after that, if you're curious, type in "XV2 PQ 122" and you'll get things like "PQ 122 is impossible", "PQ 122 is absolutely crazy" - and they're right. (Though I was glad to see I wasn't the only one having trouble with it - automatically felt better.)

That's it, really. Though if you're curious, I do go into a little more detail under yon cut:

So this was one of the parallel quests that came with some other DLC I bought some time ago. But even the quests that come with the vanilla game get pretty brutal by this point. (At least they do for an amateur like yours truly.) Not only do they become more of a test on how well you know the controls, but also how long you can endure against multiple opponents, and how well you can keep you and your partners up and running.

If you can meet certain conditions - usually like finishing quickly, or defeating opponents in a particular order - the quest goes into a sort of bonus overtime, and you get a chance to take down a much stronger opponent (or sometimes more than one). If you can defeat these opponents, that's considered an Ultimate Finish.

It's actually not too hard to beat PQ 122 normally, once you know what to expect. What makes it hard to Ultimate Finish is both the number and difficulty of the bonus opponents. That, and it pulls a really nasty trick on you the first time you get to this point.

I can't tell you the feeling that came over me when I thought I'd finally beat PQ 122, only for Fu to waltz in with Jiren and Ultra Instinct Goku. Poor Aloe and her partners were more than half dead by this point, I'd used up all my healing items, and I made the stupid mistake of trying to fight UI Goku at close range. Never do this. He will tear. your. shit. UP. I don't know about other languages, but Fu's appropriately named in English, because I was thinking those letters the entire time I was fighting him.

Side note: I want to like Fu, I really do. He's a demon scientist who acts like a massive fanboy, which in theory sounds fucking amazing. And he does have his moments, to be fair. But some of the shit he pulls in game just makes me want to slap him even harder than that Batman and Robin meme.

Anyway, once I knew that lovely little surprise was coming, it was a matter of stretching out all the healing I could - I had to keep telling myself this quest was a marathon, not a sprint - focusing on one enemy at a time, taking advantage of every spare moment to charge up ki or heal my guys, spamming my favorite Supers (Bending Kamehameha, my beloved), some well-timed Super Ki Explosions, and honestly - probably some luck.

Even then, it still took many tries due to the massive health bars on each of them, and the longer the fight drags on, the worse it is for your side.

I don't expect anyone to ask me exactly how I beat PQ 122, like a game plan or anything. But on the off chance someone does, I don't mind sharing. Mostly though, I just wanted to brag a bit, haha. Because I finally beat the thing! Although I'm going to have to do it again someday, since the RNG completely stiffed me. Didn't get either of the new special moves that you can win from this.

But hey, at least I know now it can be done. And yeah, I guess I could give in and try completing the quest online in co-op, but...eh...I don't want to, really. It's a broad generalization, I admit it, and so it's not going to be accurate, but...fighting games tend to attract certain types of gamers. The type who would probably rather be set on fire than play alongside someone who sucks at the game. I'd rather have fun than worry about how I look to a couple of randos, thanks!

#xv2 #xenoverse 2 #dragon ball xenoverse 2 #raku plays her faves: xv2 #I know I'm the only person in my circle who still plays this #so apologies #but I don't have anyone else to brag to =p