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secndlife · 3 years

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content creator year in review.

this is such a nice thing to do as a content creator. it gives us a chance to look back on what we’ve done over the year and, hopefully, it brings some pride hehe i was tagged by @jenmyeons. moa mentioned ah! love in her review, so thanks again, moa! i was super happy reading that!

let's get to the game, shall we?

first creation and most recent creation of 2020: first thing i wrote this year after a hiatus was the quiz, a mingyu fluff. and my most recent piece and also first completed series ever was ah! love, with jeonghan.

one of your favorite creations from 2020: catching stars. this fic is the epitome of self indulging and i have absolute no regrets. i usually make the mistake of writing more for others than for me (and i’ve made my peace with it and am also trying to improve on that), but this one was for me. to comfort me and ease me down. and it still does just that whenever im feeling meh. so *patting on the back* well done, me.

a creation you’re really proud of: maybe in another life. despite some issues in general, this is a fic i think i did a great job. i feel it's mature and also so so full of love. i tried to step away from the love triangle or f2l dynamic to explore a bit more on the unspoken and unexplored promises, but that, at the same time, bring no regrets or hard feelings.

a new style you tried this year and a gifset/fic that uses it: im basic. i do pretty much the same thing in general. so i hope that this year and i’ll try to comfortably push some boundaries and get myself more out there with writing.

a creation that took you forever: lie again. if i had managed to post the fucking mingyu fwb fic by now it would for sure be the answer. but as i haven't, i’ll go with lie again. the thing is, i rarely take a very long time to write things as i’m an impulsive writer. if we treat ah! love as one long piece, then it would be the longest. but as it was a series, i guess it's unfair. anyway! lie again took me idk a week and a half? but just bc it's longer bc most of the things i wrote this year, i’ve written in the spam of a couple of hours.

your creation from 2020 that received the most notes: lie again! overall, the pieces of the ah! love series also good a good amount of notes.

a creation you think deserved more notes: i think that when i posted maybe in another life i kinda expected it to have a better response? idk, i usually overthink on notes so lol!

a new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it: svt. i was actually in somewhat of a very long writer's block that ended up on me being away from writing for a good couple of months. then i got into svt and my mingyu feelings made my write this piece hehe

a creation you made that breaks your heart: you keep yours; i’ll keep mine. this just........ hurts.

a ‘simple’ creation that you really love: this timestamp. i think it's very idk sweet and very cheol like.

a creation that was inspired by another one: this timestamp was somewhat inspired by @bbugyu‘s neverending artistry. it happens in that universe. after reading their story i started thinking about poly gyucheol and that happened.

a favorite creation created by someone else: my absolute favorite this past year was @bbugyu‘s neverending artistry. this story is life changing. literally. i’ve recommended it so many times to so many people and i’ve made my personal mission to make sure everyone reads it and appreciate’s it. it's insanely good and well written so if you haven't read it yet, do yourself a favor and go check it out. i've also loved @chocosvt‘s honey boy. i loved every single one of the 54k words of this story. mingyu’s characterization is amazing and so is the story development. everything about this story feels so right and just truthful? incredible!! also, @thekidultlife‘s autumn playlist. a gyuhan “love triangle”? mingyu being best boy? sign me up. the way leanne’s writing is like this amazing poetry never fails to amaze me. her word choice and story construction is breathtaking.

some of your favorite content creators from the year: so many! @bbugyu, @chocosvt, @thekidultlife, @jaeyoonurl, @svtxsoju, @woozisnoots, @babiemingoo, @by-moonflower, @celestialpearls, @tearsofsyrup. sorry if i missed anyone here, i have the memory of a fish but i really do appreciate every single content creator i follow!!!

tagging: all of the content creators tagged above and anyone else who wants to do this tag is more than welcome to hehe

last but not least: creating content is not easy. there are so many nuances to it and it's not always hard to manage. if you're a content creator and you put out one or multiple things in the past year, be proud of yourself. your work is amazing and notes and interaction don't dictate its value. lastly, thank you to all the amazing people that enjoyed my works throughout the year. i tried my best to come out with well made stories and, hopefully, i achieved that. let's see what 2021 has in store for us!

#tagged #this was so fun!!!!!

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nightinngales · 4 years

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If it's not weird to ask, do you have any advice for staying motivated while writing? And just how to write better in general? With the first question, your fics inspired me to start writing again, and while ive got a chapter finished Im having a hard time staying motivated to write it despite still being really into my ideas i had for the fic

for me a lot of it comes with personal investment, and also i admit outside motivation is a big part of it for me as well. however, there’s a couple tricks i have that may help you out. forgive the long answer lol

personal investment: unfortunately no one can really help you with that. it’s going to be a lot easier to write something that you’re personally invested in seeing through to the end. on my end, i have multiple avenues when writing isn’t working. if i’m going through a block, i might decide to draw some seres fanart just for kicks, or i’ll play a bit of the game to get into eres’ head a bit more. i usually end up finding that after drawing or playing a while, i end up wanting to write anyways.

consider making a basic outline. what are the concepts you’re most excited about writing? where in the story do they take place? when i first started writing vigilance, my outline was essentially just the working titles of the separate acts i had planned. it doesn’t have to be a complex outline - mine was initially just, for example: “act 4 - bruiant mansion”.

you don’t have to write in order. one of the things i would get stuck on initially was feeling like i had to write every chapter in order, when i was in the concept phase. but when i started writing i knew there were things i wanted to write and hadn’t gotten to yet - so instead i created an “Excerpts” file. These were just excerpts from plot points or story beats i had inspiration to write immediately, but in different parts of the story - i had little excerpts from acts 1-6 and even parts of the ending all written up before i had started writing the full thing. it gave me a “hook” to get started with, and that i could expand upon.

don’t bog yourself down with adhering 100% to a plan. sometimes plans don’t work out. if you’d seen some of the initial writing i did for vigilance - there are entire scenes or plot lines that never made it into the final fic that’s on ao3. not because those scenes were bad, but because as i reached the points i had already written, i found i wanted to change them, or that they didn’t quite line up anymore.

complex concepts? make notes, connect the dots. act 5 is where vigilance became a lot more complex very quickly. there were a whole host of concepts i needed to introduce and connect in a cohesive manner, though i generally write from the seat of my pants, so to speak, i needed a way to make sure i was on track. i use scrivener to do my outlining in - usually just with scenes and a general explanation of what i want to cover in them. i also write primarily in scrivener and then transfer to word/ao3 after.

validation/support from friends. honestly this is a big part of it for me - getting comments on my fic, whether from friends who read it, or strangers on ao3, is a huge part of my motivation. seeing that other people are enjoying what i’m writing makes me want to write more. i would only say to be careful that not ALL of your motivation comes from outside - because you may not get a huge response at first depending on the fandom. also, be careful not to judge your success on what other authors get - there’s no end to how many factors contribute to the traction you’ll get on ao3. don’t be too hard on yourself if it takes a while for your fic to pick up steam, or if it doesn’t line up with the biggest fics in your fandom.

as far as improving your writing goes - the only way you improve writing is by writing more. write a LOT. i’m not going to tell you you should be studying authors and trying to emulate their style - i think some people do that, and there’s nothing wrong with it, but i think there’s also something to be said for developing your own voice when writing. it also depends on what vibe you’re going for - is your writing aiming to be more high brow and flowery, or are you looking to write something more accessible where a more YA-style would fit better? etc.

also, consider writing off the top of your head. don’t spend 30 minutes trying to craft one perfect sentence - you’ll only burn yourself out that way. write, and let it come to you naturally - you can always go back and edit what you’ve written later to make it flow better. the point is to get something down while you’ve got the juice for it. i typically write every chapter in 1-2 long writing sessions and then go back and edit wording or formatting later when i reread it.

most importantly, take breaks. do you know how long i’ve been working on vigilance? it’s only been a few months since i started posting to ao3, but Vigilance has been in the works for well over a year prior to me posting the first act on ao3. i didn’t work on it constantly. i would have bursts of motivation where i would crank out chapter after chapter - for example, i believe i finished acts 4&5 within the span of a month. but other times i may take weeks worth of “time off” where i am actually pretty uninspired - it’s very easy to burn out if you don’t take breaks, especially if what you plan to write is going to take a long time to finish. work at your own pace and don’t beat yourself up if you’re not writing on the daily.

some screenshots below the cut for scrivener/fanart i draw for motivation (note: has spoilers for act 5, if you haven’t read that yet):

#seres #seres fic #long post #SORRY ITS SO LONG BUT #here you go lol #Anonymous

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stellar-stag · 7 years

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Wow it’s been a while since I did a personal update here huh

I’ve honestly transitioned a lot of my venting/personal stuff to twitter

(I promise I havent abandoned you for my furry friends)

(I kinda have)

(I totally have)

(sorry)

But I feel like the last couple months have been a whirlwind for me, so I may as well keep y’all in the loop. I’m gonna sort these by topic.

First off, I had some issues with my romantic feelings. There’s a guy, a very very good friend, who is just fantastic in so many ways. Friendly and kind and supportive, progressive and enthusiastic, and shares so many of my interests. Seems natural that I would fall for him, right?

Well I did, and it resulted in a lot of emotional duress.

He has a girlfriend, and I knew this going in, but I didn’t fight my attachment. In the process of admitting my feelings to him and working through everything, I learned a lot about myself and got some practice in controlling my emotional state and how I react to things. But I also relied on him as an emotional crutch and used him for validation, especially during some particularly low emotional points, which is unfair to him. It is only because he is immensely understanding that we remain close friends, and this could have easily resulted in disaster.

But through this process I have grown, and identified a new issue blocking me from being of completely sound mind: Low self-esteem and reliance on others for validation. During my more anxious periods, I would slip into joking self-deprecation, and somewhere along the way it stopped being so joking. But surely, now that I’m taking meds for anxiety it would stop, right? Well, no. Turns out, even if I stopped consciously having thoughts of “Wow, I’m so bad at this”, I didn’t automatically gain appreciation or acceptance of myself. This manifests in a particularly dangerous manner when guys who are attractive are nice to me.

I end up conflating kindness with romantic intent, and decide that obviously, if someone doesn’t have romantic interest in me, I must be irreparably flawed in some way. This is bullshit, and I consciously understand that, but my subconscious doesn’t play by the rules. So I end up in a self-loathing spiral that only manifests in periods of intense romantic desire, and a month later I’m exhausted, bruised, and have run the risk of alienating those around me who care about me.

So how to fix it? I suppose I’ll need to work on drawing validation from within, so that rejection feels less of a condemnation of my character and everything I am. It won’t be simple, to be sure, but understanding the issue is the key to overcoming it.

Here’s hoping.

Secondly: I started working out! As of today, March 24th, I have been to the gym 12 times this month (half the days, holy shit) and thats because I, last week, decided to go from 3 workouts a week to 5, solely because I wanted to. If you told me a year ago that I would, of sound mind and body and my own volition, wake up every weekday at 5:45am to go workout for an hour, and enjoy the experience, I would have called you a liar.

But I am, and I do. I think it’s benefitting my mental health and self confidence, and I’m thankful that I’m in a place where its even an option. This is only possible due to a coalition of so many factors: A free gym in my office and a natural predilection to waking up early to remove barriers, I started taking Vyvanse in January to aid in my attention issues (not sure if I have ADD/ADHD or what, but it’s helping me remained focused in all aspects of my life and for that I am grateful). And, of course, two people who aided in the impetus for beginning and making it a habit: My dad, for giving me crippling self-worth issues my entire life and then visiting in February and criticizing my health and weight (because I was sweating after walking up a hill, which more and more I realize is not actually an indicator of my exertion! I am just a person who sweats easily, and its more a function of temperature and endocrine system than anything else) and giving me the sheer spite to begin working out, and the guy I was crushing on (who is intensely into working out, and I wanted to impress him. Yeah, I was hella thirsty. Sue me).

Regardless of the reasoning, I found that (once I cut cardio because seriously, fuck cardio), I enjoy working out in the mornings. It’s calming to wake up by exertion and then cool down slowly at my desk before other people even wake up. It’s given rise to a ritual of sorts where I get to my desk, deal with my emails, make breakfast and tea, all before anyone shows up, so that I can really hit the ground running. And more than that, I don’t have a goal in mind. I’m doing this because I know it’s good for me and I want to be healthy, and I enjoy the exertion and following “good” tiredness. If I was trying to lose weight or trim fat, or stuck only to cardio, I would have given up by now. But its a habit, and I love it, and I’m sleeping better, eating better, and feeling better.

Again, this is only possible because of an alignment of several factors, but I’m thankful for it, and I’m glad I got out of the mindset that “workouts must suck but people do them because they wanna lose weight”. You don’t gotta do anything you don’t want to do, and I wish I had realized that sooner. Im feeling way better about my body, even, because despite the fact that I haven’t lost weight or gotten trimmer from working out, I know I’m eating (pretty) well and working out, and that my body does everything I need it to. I can take pride in the callouses on my hands and the soreness of my body, because they’re proof of dedication, exertion, and effort, and those are way better things to feel good about than shape and size, anyways. If people think I’m unhealthy because I have fat, they can suck it.

Thirdly, I’ve begun looking for a condo to buy! Housing in the bay area is STUPID EXPENSIVE (and yes everyone knows this, and I know this, but it bears repeating). But I can put a down payment on a one bedroom in a good location, and I’m prequalified for a loan, and I just need to keep waiting and pouncing on leads. I think I’ll be happier living by myself with a kitchen to myself, and still going out to social events to prevent becoming a hermit. Plus, with this setup I can maybe bring dudes back and not have to show them the pigsty that is our living room or the shoebox that is my bedroom. I was terrified at the start of this process, but my mom and the realtor have been awesome about taking this step by step and ensuring nothing is confusing or surprising, which is sweet.

Fourthly, possibly because I’ve been taking Vyvanse but also possibly because I’ve finally begun understanding what the hell I’ve been doing, I’ve really hit my groove at work. The project I’m working on is complex but interesting, challenging but well understood, and I don’t feel alone but still get to feel a sense of ownership. It’s not the most fulfilling thing ever (I don’t know that working on payments platforms for a corporation ever will be) but I enjoy work, I don’t loathe going to work, and despite the fact that I was sick as a dog all this week, I came in everyday (after working out) to work full productive days, and I was happy at the end of each of them, more or less. Its not perfect but its head and shoulders above what most people get from their jobs, and I’m immensely fortunate to be in this position.

Fifthly, this is more a continuation of already known things, but I’m making cool friends in the furry fandom. I’ve made good friends, some who I hope I will keep as friends for the rest of my life, and I’ve already made plans to go to Reno in June and Disneyworld in November to hang out and have fun with them. As nerve wracking as being an adult is sometimes, the freedom is something I wouldn’t trade for anything.

Sixthly, I’ve been taking a creative writing workshop in SF! It finished last weekend and I’m happy to not need to commute each week anymore, but I learned a lot about reading like a writer and choices you can make as a writer to achieve desired effects. The workshop focuses on narrators and how who is telling the story tells it, and the model they use for exercises is SO HELPFUL. We would read an excerpt of something, discuss how the narrator/choices/tense/mood all work together, and then we would write something in a similar format about whatever we wanted. Lemme tell yall, that is so much more helpful to me as a student than just prompts. Having a guide to format is like drawing from references, its helpful and and great for learning and gives you the tools to make your own things later on. I highly recommend it, and I can’t wait to get back to my book.

Got a lot of art to make first, though. I’ve definitely improved a lot in artistic skill and confidence, and I’m loving finding niche styles that I like and mimicking them. The stained glass pic I posted yesterday is proof of that, I feel. Its drawn from Mucha and various real life stained glass windows and a bit from Kingdom Hearts, but I took these and the tools at my disposal and wove it into something that feels complete. I figured out how to apply a cloudy “glass” texture, glows, stabilization, symmetry tools, pattern design, and more all through the process, and I know theres so much room to iterate and grow, in shading and coloring and proportion. But even knowing I have room to grow, I’m proud of what I put out and I put a lot of my heart into that piece (yes, its a birthday gift for workout boy. Shut up). I think I’m going to accept commissions for pictures in this style, even. It’s great fun.

So yeah, the last couple of months have been intense. I’ve had ups and downs, but I’ve learned and grown a lot, and I think I’m in a really good place in my life right now, and I hope that every one of you achieves a similar level of peace.

#ramblings of a gay man #long post #life update #wrote almost 2k words about myself #vanity thy name is george

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chroniclesofamiddlechild · 7 years

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FEBRUARY FAVOURITES

WELPPP!!! IT HAS BEEN 5EVER SINCE I LAST BLOGGED. BUT I PROMISE, I’LL TRY TO MAKE MORE POSTS!!! so THIS IS A NEW THING THAT IM GOING TO FEATURE ON MY BLOG!!! MONTHLY FAVOURITES and REGULAR STATE OF THE UNIONS!!! if you guys know me, you should all know how OBSESSED I AM WITH YOUTUBE CULTURE AND YOUTUBERS AKA DIGITAL CONTENT CREATORS. i would LOVE to be one, but i value my privacy a lot... and i also dont like to see my face/hear my voice. ^^ #NOTINSECURE #JUSTDONTLIKEIT welp. also, if you dont know what state of the unions are - theyre based off of my 2ND FAV PRE-TEEN BOOK SERIES: THE CLIQUE by LISI HARRISON. its basically about a clique of rich girls and the leader is massie block and every week she journals a STATE OF UNION where she says whats IN and OUT for the week. LOL. if anyone is wondering, my 1st fav pre-teen book series is: THE IT GIRL by CECILY VON ZIEGESAR. WAY BETTER THAN GOSSIP GIRL!!!! but anyways, those books can be talked about in another post. THIS POST IS ALL ABOUT FEBRUARY!! W00T W00T

so february was a short month, but a lot of things happened that im satisfied with which is great. i bought some new skincare in february, i listened to some new music, read some new things etc. but from all that, these are my some of my favourites from this month

the body shop tea tree anti-imperfection daily solution

I AM SOOOO OBSESSED WITH THIS PRODUCT!!! its sooo good for my acne prone skin!!! i really feel like after like a few days of using it, MY SKIN HAD IMPROVED. i’ve been using it as a serum instead of my innisfree green tea serum cos that one sucks. i can feel it being absorbed into my skin and i like the smell and i just LOVE IT. i really recommend this product to EVERYONE!!!

nike flyknit racers in volt

yup.. so i have an obsession with nike, but THIS PAIR IS AMAZING FOR RUNNING. well, i dont run more than 5KM these days but theyre sooo good. theyre so light and they make my wide feet look NARROW which is great cos i HATE MY WIDE FEET. (still mad at my dad for giving me wide feet. and still mad at my grandma for giving me these wide feet genes.) but i have another pair of flyknits and they SUCK and gave me blisters. but these ones have some kind of cushion which doesnt KILL me when i walk and run. ^^

music

if you dunno me, then you dont know how OBSESSED I AM WITH MUSIC. i eat, breathe, sleep music. i just am always listening to songs and always low key humming. i really want to be in a rock band before i die. but ANYWAYS. february was an ALRIGHT TIME FOR MUSIC. i had a lot of songs on repeat.

say you wont let go- james arthur was one of them. SOLID SONG and im really happy for james arthur who is now able to find success after winning x-factor. i used to be obsessed with x-factor back in the day cos IT BROUGHT SUCH GREAT GEMS LIKE ONE DIRECTION, but i found that a lot of the winners could never sustain their success like leona lewis, matt cardle (LIKE WHO??). but anyways, SAY YOU WON’T LET GO is such a nice song but the lyrics are LAME AF. i hate that kind of cheesy crap but the melody and his voice are soo nice. cant hate but HATE THE LYRICS.

spring day - BTS. i know KPOP song. I LOVE KPOP AND I LIKE WHAT I LIKE. I DONT CARE WHAT ANYONE THINKS. solid song!!!! the thing that i like most about kpop is that their lyrics arent lame like north american music. like omg I CANT WITH LYRICS LIKE “so baby pull me closer in the back seat of your rover that i know you cant afford blah blah blah.” like songs like that are just so dumb to me BUT THEYRE SO CATCHY. but spring day is a nice chill song. when it first came out, there was a huge snow storm in toronto, so i downloaded it on apple music (EVERYONE WITH AN IOS DEVICE - GET ON APPLE MUSIC!!! FK SPOTIFY) and then shovelled the snow for an hour as i listened.

omg.. this part of my favourites section is SO LONG. BUT I GOTTA GOTTA GOTTA MENTION ONE LAST SONG!!!

someday - BtoB. obvi my FAV KPOP GROUP!!!!!! but legit. such a good song composed by my BTOB BIAS/KPOP BIAS/LIFE BIAS: IM HYUNSIK!!! as i listen more to the song, there are so many layers in the audio. like the strings, the drums, the guitar, the piano. like SUCH ART. i wanna learn how to create music like that. but how does one even hear these and then put it together to create a song?? I WANNA LEARN!! anyways, the lyrics of the song is art too. its a kind of sad but hopeful song about someday meeting a previous love again. and being sorry for how you acted previously. kind of a cheesy concept, but the lyrics are really good. my fav part is ilhoonie’s rap:

Even when I’m doing well, without much thought The forgotten memories come back as a dilemma Me with you and me without you Are two entirely different people, just know that All these illusions make the musty air thicker First time first love it was really good for the first time But it became a mess, as if we were at war But some day

how can people be so good with words??? how can i put my depth into my writing and not write about such vapid things like february favourites!??!?! I WANNA LEARN!!!!

one thing that i was kinda obsessed with in february was refinery29′s money diaries . i know.. so weird, but its kinda interesting to see how people live and how much money they make and exactly what they spend it on. because of money diaries, ive been just keeping track of my spending in my journal which is so MATURE of me~~ keke

inari sushi

ya so i LUV THIS. AND ive recently started to make inari with my sister. so ez to make (cos we buy the seasoned bean curd) (no one got time to fry bean curd and season it). and all you gotta do is cook SHORT GRAIN RICE and make the rice vinegar and sugar seasoning. and then FILL UP DA BEAN CURD. EZ PZ. but SO BOMB. high in calories, but its okay. SOMEDAY, ill be cooler.. (lyrics) ^^

welp

OMG. idk why I KEEP ON SAYING THIS. WELPPPPPP. WELPPPPPP. i love it. this is the new SPICY.. but def one of my fav SLANG/MADE UP WORDS. LMFAO. WELPPPPPPP!!! WELPPPP!!! where did it even come from!??!?! i will never know. but WELPPPPP!!!!!

and this concludes my february favourites. i know.. its a little sporadic, a little too much on the music.. but its me. im still trying to figure out how to make my bloggie a little more organized and trying to format these posts a bit better. but i just type what is on the top of my head. and this is what came out. hopefully march favourites will be BETTA. but bye february! you were nice to me~~~

#life #btob #kpop #tea tree oil #february #life of a middle child #middle child #inari #james arthur #matt cardle #one direction #leona lewis #bts #february favourites #snow #music #flyknit racers #WELP #someday

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