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dapandapod · 3 years

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Lambert the lark

On Ao3 here!

This one is for @mayastormborn, because singing Lambert and because Lambert looking very much indeed like Paul Bullion with his curly hair and fancy beard. I had fun.

Beware the swearing and actually rather filthy songs that Lambert likes. Oh and a surprise sentimental thing in the middle there. It was supposed to be a 5+1 but writing is hard so it turned into a 4+1. Please enjoy!

1. The bar

Let it be known Lambert likes to sing. Let it be known that when Lambert is drunk, he sings very loud.

Most patrons of the tavern he favours in the little shit town Mulbrydale, they know.

Most people living close to the tavern know too. And all the horses in the stable behind the tavern.

Yes, it is known that Lambert likes to sing.

The poor bard entertaining for the night is looking rather exasperated, and there is a bet going on in the corner when the bard actually will just march out. Lambert couldn’t care less. Earlier that day he got paid for a job well done, a basilisk tormenting the locals' livestock decapitated and shoved into the eldermans face.

It was glorious.

So it only makes sense to have a glorious finish, beer foam stuck in his mustache and voice roaring louder that the poor blond lad trying to play his lute. How the fuck does the loud drunk ginger know every song?!

It takes another three tries at a ballad until the bard gives up. Or rather, explodes.

“IF YOU ARE SO KEEN ON SINGING WHY DON’T YOU TAKE THE FUCKING STAGE?!” He screams at Lambert.

Money changes hand in the corner, the bard storms out, and Lambert takes the stage.

Let it be known that Lambert loves Fishmongers Daughter and knows all 27 verses.

Let it be known Lambert still did a better job pissdrunk than the actual bard.

2. The bath

Hot springs are the best thing ever. Really, nothing is as good as settling in to one of the stone pools and soaking in the slightly-too-hot water. Best thing those fuckers funding Kaer Morhen back in the days ever did.

Lambert leans back against the stone, his angry orange locks curling even tighter in the steam. In the next pool over sits Jaskier and Eskel, Geralt is still wrestling with his towel by the wall.

“Hot springs are the best thing ever.” Lambert says, voicing his thoughts. If the moan from Jaskier is anything to go by, he agrees.

“Move over.” Geralt mutters after finally being defeated by the towel.

Lambert opens an eye to peer at him, then spreads his arms across the edge of the pool and closes his eyes again.

“Asshole.” Geralt says fondly, then proceeds to climb over Lambert to get down into the pool.

Stark naked.

Lucky Lambert wasn’t looking, because otherwise it wouldn’t have been Geralt calling Lambert names, but Geralt instead declaring what Lambert was seeing.

“Aaaasshoooooleee.” Lambert sings, his voice bouncing around the walls, giving it a rather otherworldly feel.

“Oooh, nice resonance! Do it again!” Jaskier sits up a little straighter.

Lambert smirks and peeks at a glaring Geralt who now is soaking too.

“Aaassshoooooooolee.” Lambert sings again, and Jaskier joins him, harmonizing. It sounds lovely, so they do it again and again, creating a little melody.

“Please.” Geralt huffs, but he is smiling.

“Nah, I rather like it.” Eskel says agreeably, and really, if Geralt dislikes it Lambert has to continue. Those are the rules.

They experiment a bit with tempo, making it canon, Lambert taking a really low note that Jaskier can only barely meet, and oh the discord of that note sounds great too.

“I'm going to steal your job.” Lambert declares to Jaskier, when they dry off. “Im going to get so much fucking coin.”

Jaskier only snorts.

“I would like to see you try.” He says, amused.

Oh, little bard, you just wait.

3. The night

Silence is different in the woods. Especially at night. The way that everything is asleep, even the trees quieter than in the day. The fire crackles merrily anyway, the wood popping and fizzing. Lambert is feeling a little forlorn, he sits close to the fire and stares at the flames, hugging his knees to his chest.

Aiden is half laying on his bedroll next to him, working on a leather braid for his saddlebags.

It is strange, Aiden is right there, but Lambert feels lonely.

Achingly alone, small among the giant trees, old in a world that forever is new.

His mother died long ago. But her voice comes to him, words half forgotten and a melody that reminds him of honey and of sleep. Before he realize it, its leaking out.

He is humming, a deep murmur in his chest. He can see Aiden look up at him from the corner of his eye, but he keeps his eyes on the flame. Idly he drags his chin back and forth on his freckled arm, letting his beard scratch and soothe him. The heat of the flames feels good, his back too cold in contrast.

“What is that song?” Aiden asks quietly, he, too, afraid to disturb the night.

Lambert finally looks over at him, the light dancing on his face, making his hair look like its own fire.

“I don’t really know. My mother sang it to me.” Lambert never speaks of her. But this is Aiden, and the world is sleeping, and he tastes honey.

“Will you sing it for me?” Aiden asks, of course he does. This is why Aiden is here.

The words are old, the language has long since changed. He sings of rolling hills and budding flowers, of rivers feeling lonely and luring travelers into their cold embrace. He wonders if that is how drowners came to be.

Aiden watches him all the while, the braid still in his hands. Lambert watches the fire, sings lowly into the night.

It feels good, singing her song to the darkness. It feels ever better when he stops and peeks through his locks at Aiden.

Aidens face is hard to read, but his actions are not.

“Get over here, wolf.”

With Aidens arms around him, with the taste of honey on his lips, the crackling of fire behind him, Lambert joins the forest in its slumber.

4. The fight

It’s raining, fuck, it’s pouring down. Thunder is rumbling ahead, the raindrops fat and absolutely much wetter than rain has any right to be. They are soaked, the drop bounce off the armor, the weapons get slippery in their grip, their hair sticks to their faces and necks.

Geralt hates it. As they fight the griffin, he grumbles and mutters.

Lambert thinks he is being dramatic, really, it’s just some water. (Though, to be fair, it’s easy to be positive when Geralt is so extremely cranky. If Lambert was alone, he would be just as miserable, if not worse.)

The griffin is very big, and very angry.

It swoops down from the sky, Lambert aims with a crossbow at it’s wings.

“One little griffin were going shopping in town” he sings, clenching one eye closed while aiming. The griffin flies right above him, his talons inches from where his head was just a moment ago. Lambert swirls around untroubled, and aims again.

“But there came a Lambert, and shot it down.” Water is dripping from his eyebrows, eyelashes, running down his cheeks, but it doesn’t matter.

The shot is clean, it hits the target and a loud shriek announces that the griffin felt it too.

“Stop that! You are just pissing it off!” Geralt yells from the other side of the field, ducking from said pissed off griffin. Lambert smirks, shoving his hair out of his face with the crook of his arm, water sloshing everywhere.

It is a small miracle that he still has a grip on the crossbow. They charge the now grounded griffin, splitting up to make things difficult for it.

“ONE LITTLE GRIFFIN IS FEELING FEELING A LITTLE CRANKY!” Lambert sings, or rather howls, swinging his sword in a tight arc, aiming for the griffins flank. From the other side of the beast, Lambert can hear Geralt harumph in annoyance. It’s fun to work with family.

“BUT THERE CAME A LAMBERT AND-” Here Lambert has to pause.

He even takes a step away, scratching at his wet beard thoughtfully. He turns and yells towards a small grove of trees.

“JASKIER?! WHAT THE FUCK RHYMES WITH CRANKY??”

“Lambert come on!” Geralt yells, and yes, alright, fair.

“OH, NEVER MIND! I GOT IT! BUT THERE CAME A LAMBERT, HE GOTTA HELP GERALT, OR AIDEN WON’T GIVE HIM HANKY PANKY!”

“Wow! A true poet!” Geralt yells again over the shriek of the Griffin. “Now come help me fucking kill it!”

+1 The competition

"You really think you are going to win this?” Jasier says, disbelief and amusement clear in his voice.

“I hope you are ready to pay for my new sword, bardling.” Lambert says with a confident grin. Jaskier shrugs, strapping on his lute.

“Your loss. You do remember I am a very famous bard and poet across the continent, and a very sought after professor at Oxenfurt?”

Lambert makes a very charming snorting sounds and waves it away.

“Work hard tonight, and don’t think of trying to cheat!” Lambert tells him, and waves Eskel and Jaskier goodbye.

They agreed that Geralt is too biased towards Jaskier, so Eskel would go with him while preforming and Geralt with Lambert, to make sure none of them is cheating.

As if Lambert would need to cheat.

They walk towards a rather shadylooking bar by the docks, another one of Lamberts favorites. More than one turn around and give a (semi)friendly nod when he enters. The two of them order their drink and settle down.

“Soooo, when are you gonna go about earning those coins?” Geralt asks, sipping on his tankard.

“As soon as the poor lad stops his wailing. Gotta give him a chance, don’t you think?” Lambert smiles, and Geralt rolls his eyes.

There is indeed a poor lad by the elevated area, trying to sing heroic ballads with an accompanying lyre. Talk about reading the crowd wrong.

As soon as the lad is sat in a corner drowning his lack of success in wine, Lambert rises and stretches.

“Alright, time to make good on this bet.” Lambert steps up and begins clapping his hands in a beat. A few patrons see what he is doing and humours him, so he adds the stomping. And proceeds to sing the filthiest song he knows.

Without going into details, it involves what a lady has under her skirt, and how she uses it when she is a lady with mighty needs. To put it nicely. It takes exactly one verse and one chorus before the coins start.

Lambert gives Geralt a victorious smile.

“Alright, how much did you get?” Lambert asks Jaskier. “I hope you won’t have to add too much from your own pocket, swords are rather expensive.”

“132 crowns and 36 ducats.” Jaskier says with a triumphant smile. “The fine ladies at the brothel where quite generous.”

“Where is Eskel?” Geralt asks, looking around.

“Oh, he found a lady with horns and decided to see if they were real.”

“Again? He really has a thing for succubuses, doesn’t he?” Geralt muses.

“Sure seems like it. So, Lambert, how did it go? How much?”

Jaskier won. Lambert blames it on the florence, being slightly less of value than the crown. He lost by three. THREE. Lambert is pissed and Jaskier laughs, but really, he is sweating big time. Lucky he dresses in layers, because fuck that was close. Jaskier declines every challenge there after.

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nerianasims · 3 years

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Billboard #1s 1985

Under the cut.

Foreigner -- "I Want To Know What Love Is" -- February 2, 1985

One of the quintessential 80s power ballads. It's actually kind of interesting if you think about it enough. He's not in love yet, but he's gotten sick of not being in love, so he's asking someone he's in the pre-love stage with to show him. Though he's had "heartache and pain" before, and doesn't know if he can face it again. It's not consistent. I feel like it's a missed opportunity, but oh well. It's good enough for what it is.

Wham! -- "Careless Whisper" -- February 16, 1985

Oh my god I love the saxophone in this. The music throughout the song is so incredibly sexy. And this is the kind of song George Michael's voice was made for. He's totally capable of sounding both hot and in agony at the same time. I actually adore a whole lot of cheating songs -- mostly, though not exclusively, the tormented kind. Drama! Love! Sex! Angst! Gorgeous.

REO Speedwagon -- "Can't Fight This Feeling" -- March 9, 1985

<3. He keeps singing "r"s like a pirate, but he doesn't go as hard on the other consonants, so I'm good with it. Lyrically, this song sounds like it might be two songs mashed together. "What started out as friendship has grown stronger" or "my life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you." Well which is it? Except I've had that happen. I love this song.

Phil Collins -- "One More Night" -- March 30, 1985

This is a depressing heartbreak song without the saving grace of any of Phil Collins' neat drum stuff. Blah.

We Are the World -- April 13, 1985

Whoo boy. I was 8 when this came out. Obviously I loved it. All the kids loved it. Now, though... I'm sorry, but it's bad. Really bad. Many others have gone deeply into why it's bad. I feel acutely embarrassed listening to it, so I'm just running away from it as fast as possible. (Remember all those celebrities singing "Imagine" in their mansions in 2020? I blame this song for that.)

Madonna -- "Crazy For You" -- May 11, 1985

This is one of Madonna's most straightforward love songs. Maybe the most, period. This or "Cherish," and this is a better song. It's lovely. Like Olivia Newton-John, Madonna can act a song. (Unlike in most movies she's been in.) But what I'm thinking about now is learning in this article that her label wouldn't let Madonna release "Into the Groove" as a single. That song was huge. It was played on the radio all the time. If it had been released as a single, or maybe if Billboard had tracked songs then like it does today, it would have been a massive smash, definitely #1. "Into the Groove" is also the best song of her very early career. "Crazy for You" is good, but not nearly as special.

Simple Minds -- "Don't You Forget About Me" -- May 18, 1985

As I am "Gen X", I am supposed to deeply connect with The Breakfast Club. I was 8 years old when it came out. My life as a teenager was nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, like that movie. I didn't recognize any of the "types." I liked the movie when I saw it in college, mostly, but the whole sexual harassment turns into a relationship deal was not seen as cool any longer. The "jocks vs. nerds" thing also felt very dated. The school in the movie was bigger and richer than mine, but it's a fantasy.

Anyway, though I don't feel much about the movie, its breakout song was really good. It does speak to a real fear both in graduating high school and during young adult relationships. I haven't forgotten the people I knew in high school, as far as I know, but obviously they don't have the same importance to me any longer. I'm Facebook friends with a lot of them. And very much not with a couple who were the most important then, because we grew apart -- or blasted apart. One of the nicest girls I knew in high school thinks there's a war on Christmas. Another keeps trying to get me to join her MLM. One of my best friends became my first boyfriend, and I don't regret that, but it was also a semi-disaster. And others... we just have nothing to say to each other any longer.

So, Breakfast Club: I don't connect with at all. "Don't You Forget About Me": Speaks to something very real and timeless.

Wham! -- "Everything She Wants" -- May 25, 1985

What a dick. Songs in which the narrator is a colossal jerk are perfectly fine, of course, but this one gets under my skin. He's whining about his wife getting pregnant when she's dissatisfied with their life and that they're broke. As if it's something she chose to do to him. She's stuck creating a whole other person with her blood and flesh, and he thinks it's all and entirely about him. I really hate it.

Tears for Fears -- "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" -- June 8, 1985

I can't hear this song without thinking of this Baldur's Gate fan trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jdd06d2nids. Speaking of which, I am incredibly excited for Baldur's Gate 3. I've been reading the early access reviews on Steam, and anything anyone is saying that's negative is stuff I don't gaf about (except bugs), whereas the positive stuff, I care about deeply. I hope it's got some of the feeling of that trailer. Um, right, Tears for Fears.

Honestly, though, it works best as a Baldur's Gate theme song. I don't think everybody actually wants to rule the world. It sounds good though. And pretty different from other stuff around it. But I like Lorde's cover better, and not just because it fits so wonderfully with all sorts of fantasy stories.

I usually play a paladin or paladin-type the first time in fantasy RPGs, but I'm thinking bard this time.

Bryan Adams -- "Heaven" -- June 22, 1985

He's been with this woman since they were young, and while they've broken up and gone through rough patches, now they're together forever and they're "in heaven." Bryan Adams knew exactly how to write a song that would become a hit. I used to not mind it at all, but it also means nothing to me. The chorus is catchy as hell though. So catchy that I ended up waking up with it in my head and it would not leave for hours and hours, so now I resent this song.

Phil Collins -- "Sussudio" -- July 6, 1985

I refuse to believe anyone ever told Phil Collins he was too young. He was born middle-aged. Anyway, the narrator isn't supposed to be him, so it's fine, but it's still kinda funny. He's got a crush on someone who doesn't even know his name, but "she's all I need all of my life." Um. The music is repetitive, the drums aren't as interesting as Phil Collins at his best, and I don't like the lyrics. I don't hate it, but I don't like it either.

Duran Duran -- "View to a Kill" -- July 13, 1985

I'm not sure I've ever heard this song before. It's about as good a song as the Bond movie they wrote it for was as a movie. In other words, it's bad. I'm not even sure there's a melody. Just a mess. "Ordinary World" would have made a far better Bond theme, but of course that was the 90s, when Duran Duran decided to try to make sense both lyrically and musically.

Paul Young -- "Every Time You Go Away" -- July 27, 1985

I like the high keyboard notes in this. They're sort of haunting. The rest of the song is musically pretty good, too. Lyrically though, it's only passable. This woman keeps leaving him every time "the leading man" shows up, so I guess he's the backup. Why does he keep waiting for her anyway? There's no hint in the song. I'm kind of embarrassed for him.

Tears for Fears -- "Shout" -- August 3, 1985

I think "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" is a better song than this one when done by Lorde. But I think "Shout" is a better song than Tears for Fears' original iteration of "Everybody Wants to Rule the World." The chorus seems clear enough. But the verses are not. "They gave you life/ And in return you gave them hell" makes sense in isolation, but then there's a bunch of stuff that doesn't go with it. Like "I'd really love to break your heart" -- wtf? But the music is really good.

Huey Lewis and the News -- "The Power of Love" -- August 24, 1985

This was the big song for Back to the Future, and it meshed beautifully with the movie, but it doesn't need that association to be a great song. "Don't need money, don't take fame/ Don't need no credit card to ride this train/ It's strong and it's sudden, it can be cruel sometimes/ But it might just save your life." Yep. It's sort of Motown, sort of rock, and I love it. (Also: "Stronger and harder than a bad girl's dream." Heh.)

John Parr -- "St. Elmo's Fire" -- August 24, 1985

Of all the John Hughes movies I have not seen and do not plan to see, St. Elmo's Fire sure is one of them. The song is about a disabled man who inspired people by rolling himself cross-country in his wheelchair for charity, which has absolutely nothing to do with the movie. I'm disabled, and I just... okay look, what he did was admirable. But we shouldn't have to be inspirations to be counted as worthwhile, and I've been told I should die because I can't produce for capitalism, so you know. I've got some personal issues with this and I'm gonna move along.

Dire Straits -- "Money for Nothing" -- September 21, 1985

This is not Dire Straits' best song, but it's an awfully fun one. I watched the video tons when I was a kid. (That sound is Tipper Gore falling to the floor in a dead faint.) The music is great rock. And the lyrics are very true-to-life. You can either sanitize people or present them as they are honestly, and I know which I prefer.

Ready for the World -- "Oh Sheila" -- October 12, 1985

The band's from Michigan. The English accent at the beginning of the song is fake. That's a good preview for the song, which sounds like a 3rd-rate Prince knockoff at best. Blech.

a-ha -- "Take On Me" -- October 19, 1985

The video totally ripped off one of my aunts. Somehow or other, they saw into the little comic she drew for me about someone going into a land of drawings to rescue someone else in a romantic adventure, years before 1985. Anyway, this song is great musically, massively synthesizer heavy without sounding artificial. Though I can only understand maybe a third of the lyrics as he sings them. I've always understood "It's no better to be safe than sorry" though. Yep, at least when it comes to romance, which is what they're singing about here.

Whitney Houston -- "Saving All My Love for You" -- October 26, 1985

It's not better to be safe than sorry, but that doesn't mean it's good to be an absolute idiot in matters of romance either. Nor is it good to be a colossal jerk. That's what the narrator is here -- the "you" she's singing to is married. And he won't leave his wife and children, though he used to say he would. The lyrics seem to say that's she's accepted the situation, but the way Houston sings it, I think the narrator's trying to get him to leave his wife -- and children -- for her still. This makes sense, as it puts some kind of passion and sense of story into the song, which without Houston's singing would not be there. The narrator certainly never acknowledges that what she's doing is wrong in the slightest iota. This song could be done in a way that works. But it's a completely sincere ballad. So, no. I despise the narrator, I despise the man she's singing to more, and the whole thing leaves me feeling gross.

Stevie Wonder -- "Part Time Lover" -- November 2, 1985

No one's thinking anyone's gonna leave anyone in this one. It's about cheating, and the thrill of it, but then at the end, he's found out his wife's cheating on him too. "I guess that two can play the game/ Of part-time lovers." This kind of funk groove is one way you make a song like this. It makes the whole thing sexy and fun, and the lyrics also work even beyond that ending, because they acknowledge it's wrong.

Jon Hammer -- "Miami Vice Theme" -- November 9, 1985

My parents didn't watch Miami Vice. And then I never felt like watching it in re-runs when I got older. I don't recognize this song. It's an energetic instrumental, but there's so much going on, I keep trying to figure out if there's a main musical idea anywhere. Nope. Just lots and lots of synth. Headache-inducing.

Starship -- "We Built This City" -- November 16, 1985

Blech. This song sounds both unfinished and overproduced somehow. The chorus seems designed to be catchy with absolute ruthlessness by people who didn't really care, and no one involved even seems to want to bother to fake it.

Phil Collins & Marilyn Martin -- "Separate Lives" -- November 30, 1985

This is supposed to be heart-wrenchingly sad. Well, it does tank my dopamine, but that's not what a good sad song does. A good sad song makes you feel better. This one makes me need to turn on something high-energy after about 30 seconds, before I sink into bleakness. It's aggressively boring.

Mr. Mister -- "Broken Wings" -- December 7, 1985

This was one of the first songs I recorded from the radio. On my pink tape deck/radio that was a sort of a mini boom box. I've always had my own tape player since I can remember, but that was a definite upgrade from the Sesame Street one. I was 9 then, so getting more seriously into music and developing my own taste intentionally, rather than simply absorbing what was happening around me.

Anyway, the song. It's about a relationship in trouble, and he wants to stay with her. To me it sounds like she has been so seriously hurt (and not by him), that she can't trust anyone, and he's laying himself on the line for her. That has spoken to me deeply ever since I first heard the song as a child. Moving on to the music: While the lyrics are repetitive, the music is not, which is what makes the song so good. It's a beautiful song.

Lionel Richie -- "Say You, Say Me" -- December 21, 1985

I look forward to Lionel Richie no longer being on the charts. This song was on the soundtrack of some movie I've never heard of. I wish I'd never heard of the song. Totally artificial glop.

BEST OF 1985: "Don't You Forget About Me" by Simple Minds WORST OF 1985: "We Built This City" by Starship

#billboard number ones

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kierongillen · 5 years

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Writer Notes: The Wicked + the Divine 41

Spoilers, obv.

After last issue's formalism, this one just accelerates. And, as everything in this arc, everything is a big beat. If everything is a big beat, how do you choose what to spend your space on? What beats really matter? How do you pace it? What can be a grace note and what's a scene? That's what this issue, and the rest of the arc, tends to be about.

This issue has gone down very well. I'll admit that while I absolutely gasped when I got paged in, I suspect it's going to be least favourite of the whole arc. That more says how much I enjoy the rest of the arc. Also, as a friend put it to me, I may be allergic to making people happy.

Let’s get on with this.

Jamie and Matt's cover:

There is, to some degree, a "Who hasn't had a headshot cover?" to this arc. As such, Mimir finally gets his. This is a glorious one – the pinks and blues, work really well, and the circuitboards frame it well. Obviously, Mimir plays a big role in this issue, so it is thematic. As is…

Paulina's cover

I just love Paulina's covers, as her being the regular alt-cover artist on Thunderbolt should imply. This made me want to immediately pitch a kick-ass pop D&D bard comic to someone, Xena Warrior Princess as produced by Xenomania. The names of the swords are the chef-kiss, but there's so much to love. The expression is everything.

Page 1

One page scene, with a modified nine panel grid. The one page scene is something that happens a lot this arc. I did a two-page version, but with the right seven panels, we're sorted. Yes, this is all we see of the de facto antagonists of the series this issue – when last issue was all about them, it doesn't worry me too much.

Page 2

Standard music journalist concept. That the second album tends to be worst than the first. Hard to prove, though my old friend Peter's note that "you have your whole life preparing for your first album and have a year to do your second" does seem to imply an easy explanation.

Page 3-4-5

Stealth mission! It's Metal Gear WicDiv!

We actually forgot to add the flashes to the first panel until the very last minute. Monthly Comics is a hell of a time sometimes, stress the “hell.”

I love the determination of Laura in the second panel of 3. That's great eyes.

Looking at this now, that "I can't do much now" is in a panel smaller than 1/9th of the page says a lot about the scale she's working on. The background was Matt in full trippy mode – I had a friend note that this scene is a little akin to Kohl in Rue Britannia 5 (The difference being Kohl is using nostalgia for a performance, while Laura is just doing a performance) but the moving squiggle does remind me the use of optical illusions in Phonogram 3. Bugs in the optic nerve are our friend.

Panel 3 on 4 is obviously Clayton living large and conquering. When you ask for something like "Can you sample the background and use as a speech balloon" you have no idea if it's going to work.

We could have divided the middle panel into two, but I suspect it'd have been less effective. We've seen the trick before. Now we see the same trick, but different. Mix it up. We're performers.

Hmm. I realise the Norns string of balloons is something I'm doing more often now – it's not something I've always done. I'm normally a one-panel-one-emotion, which strings of dialogue rarely allow (as, if there’s any change of emotion inside the string, the image is rendered ludicrous). In a middle shot, and a strong emotional throughline with the dialogue and I'm more okay with it.

While this whole three pages is an action sequence, it's also exposition for Laura's current state. The best exposition is demonstration, I guess.

I mean, the last panel of page 5? That's how cut to the bone we are. Problem? Solve it. Problem? Solve it. We don't need to fuck around anymore.

Page 6-7-8

And after six whole trades, the reunion between Lucifer and Laura. I suspect a different writer would have played this bigger and more melodramatic, but when the reader knows this, a splash feels overkill, especially with the taut pacing of the rest of the issue. However... there are five panels here. That's a page's worth of content, and enough to give an emotional throughline.

Sometimes when writing it's all about trying to find an honest response which is also unexpected. Like, in life, you think you'll feel sad or happy at certain times, but when you live through it, you don't. Or you don't entirely. What other stuff is happening? That's what rings true to me.

Anyway – that's where Laura's Guilt comes from. Laura at her most Dionysus.

And then Lucifer shatters all that self pity with the wink. Did you miss me? Of course, you did.

Page 7, panel 4 is one of those "a comic panel is not a moment in time" bits of magic McLeod always talks about. As in, as we read across the panel time progresses. The Mimir/Cass conversation is getting on for... 10 seconds, maybe? The teleport signatures do not take that long to appear. It's only with Laura's interruption that panel kicks into high gear.

As Multiversity noted you can easily imagine another draft of this with a bigger fight scene. And it's true – but also lying around was a version which cuts it even shorter. Do we need to really give a whole page to Cass breaking out? I felt so. Without the big beat, it feels flat. And it's good to see Cass let rip.

The slight angle on Jamie's external shot with a Norns black/white plus golden thread from Matt is really interesting. We don't often see the Norns as combatants in WicDiv, so this is a rare chance to give Cass a "Hello, I am a bad ass too, in case you've forgotten."

Page 9-10-11-12

Cripes. Going this and making notes I can't believe how tightly we're winding this and (more so) getting away from it. We did all this in four pages?

Two panels to the escape – the right image and a handful of taut captions to hold you between scenes. The first is doing a lot of work, but the second is just elegant. What do you need but the broken doors? Great stuff by Jamie here.

(Laura's captions do a lot of work here in setting up the themes, and the return of Sakhmet's memory to the story)

If you're wondering "How on earth could we get the escape be quicker, it's to take the first two panels on page 8 and move to the previous page. That makes it a five panel page, which is entirely do-able. That's a cost, but it would have bought slightly more space in this scene. As it is, I preferred to cut mid-page and end with Lucifer's first spoken lines in ages.

Once more, a big reveal in a small panel. Chrissy's note on the script was basically hearts for Luci at this point. Like, the second she cuts to the chase and tell s people what to do...

...and then the page turn, and she just goes full Lucifer. I know you lot have missed her, but I have too.

Getting back to Inanna was also easy, the sweetheart... but it all leads back to Sakhmet. That Mothering Invention was as tight as it was didn't leave much room for Laura to think about Sakhmet, or mourn at all... or, most of all, make it clear the story (and Laura) considers her loss important and real. It's an awful sad panel at the end of the page.

Inanna's voice was easy to find again. He's such a sweetheart. Tara is a little harder, just as I wrote her less, but I've been fascinated by this arc in terms of writing her as an actual character. I think one of the ironies of issue 13 was that it put Tara on a pedestal, and the pedestal is an objectifying as any other cage. Getting her back as a character is wonderful, and she gets to be as messy and flawed as everyone else.

Inanna not knowing ANY of this is hard. That's the problem with most of this arc – there is so much information flying around, and secrets some (but not all) are aware of. Who gets to respond to what and when? What to remind people of? What to let slide? Inanna not knowing about Baal is so huge it had to be hit and hit hard.

And then... the bodies.

When plotting this and trying to work out how I could get the cast – oh god, this is not a deliberate pun, but it's also clearly a pun - back on their feet, I was thinking of the Morrigan Gambit. Three heads, three bodies. Perfect. Then I remembered Mimir, and swore. I started to think about how that would be a tense, dramatic situation and how the personal politics could play out and I realised that Tara would just turn it down. I then realised that's exactly how the scene would work too.

(In a "tightness" thing, I suspect in another world, this scene would have been two pages. The "and Tara then just butts in" is the key thing, but you could get the timing a little more intricate to sell the moment more – still, even in this page, I could have extended it more, but seeing Tara's elaboration and everyone else's response to it was just key work for them all.)

In passing – Mimir's glowing in the dark in the penultimate panel just wonderful. Nice work Jamie and Matt.

Page 13

From the Sisters of Mercy's song, Marian.

Page 14-15-16-17

Here's where you talk about spending space. What's important here? You need the scale to show what Baph has been doing – and Jamie turns it into something astoundingly gothic. The use of blacks, the use of light and shade. Just the right level of suggestive. It’s one of my favourite bits of composition in the issue.

As the pantheon are getting back together, this leads to an increase in crowd scenes, which are the eternal artist killer. As such, I'm looking for solutions which only involve the absolute minimum of the cast in a scene.

Thee was an awful moment earlier in the issue when I went – wait! Do I have too many heads to carry? Then I realised I was fine. That said, finding places to put them down so we can have chat scenes was also somewhat tricky. The shelf turning up on page 15 is an example. Clealry Baph planned to (er) have a place to keep heads.

Well, I say, Baph, but it's clearly Nergal now. The road from early Nick Cave to late Nick Cave has been a long way. It's a great shot.

To go back to the space, why spend it on this? We’re reintroducing Nergal and Morrigan, and we’re also showing the scale of them in the plot, and the actions of Nergal. Where we go with the bodies is such a big beat, it needs to come from something similarly large. That’s also the reason why so much (relative in the issue) space is spent on the Morrigan/Nergal scenes. Of course, it’s also a key scene for this subplot, so demands space for that. It’s rarely just one reason. Probably a useful time for my usual “these notes are only ever a selection of thoughts.”

This is also a serious pose panel by Jamie.

The “I could bring her back.” He’s an underworld god too. If she could do it, he could. This is something which I suspect some people thought implicit in the old scene, but the final manipulation of Morrigan is unpacked at length in the nine panel grids.

Nine panel grids are a natural rhythm for this – when I was planning the later bit the triple-goddess of it made obvious sense, so it expanded to the whole scene. Also, the cropped image reduces the possibility of a Jamie crowd scene.

I always thought that, given the amount of time the various characters get on film, Ladyhawke could more accurately be called Blokeywolf. I digress.

Page 18-19-20

As said earlier, the triple-goddess to nine panel grid is one of those natural ways to give a stress to each of the elements. You’ll notice the clicks are left then right then centre. I’d originally written it as left to right, before – after Chrissy’s Editorial urging – rewrote to end with the Macha section to go last. Gentle Annie may have been the kinder part of Morrigan, but Macha was the part he mostly dated.

Then, in a moment of weirdness, Jamie actually drew it in the original order, despite never having seen that script. Morrigan has powers, as does the logical necessity of a left to right panelling order. As a nine panel grid, just moving panels around to fix it is easy. Hail grids!

Like most of the big acts of magic, it’s all about emotional sense than anything else. Hence, it is inevitable as Nergal actually does this, the bleak temple he’s constructed starts to crumble. And, in perhaps the most ludicrous bit of me in the comic, The Temple Of Love Is Falling Down. Too much is the bare minimum.

Jamie’s triple-portrait of the Morrigan is pretty startling. I have no idea if Jamie will miss drawing Badb’s hair, but I’ll miss seeing it.

Re-reading this now I’m struck by how low-key it is. That was always part of WicDiv’s magic – the finger click, and then things happening. The Morrigan transformation was usually drawn to be instantaneous – one panel Macha, the next Badb and so on. This kind of keeps to that.

And then… the reveal. That the new bodies isn’t a splash page says everything about this issue, but it still gets the punching the air moment. We had to have one of those eventually. Lucifer in a black suit is one of the things I’ve been waiting as long to see as Nergal in his. I giggled with glee at seeing this. Jamie’s worked in elements of the Morrigan into each of the gods – Lucifer’s red hair is the most obvious one, but Gentle Annie in Inanna and Macha in Mimir also have their notes. Inanna’s netting top is the main one – and note the shapes on Mimir’s armour changing to mimic Macha’s.

Yes, writing Lucifer remains fun and easy. I recommend it to everyone.

Page 21-22

In terms of seeing chat, people responding to the small details in the issue is one of the bigger joys. That Jamie got the Inanna/Nergal hug in the background of this exchange between Laura/Lucifer/Cass is absolutely wonderful. Laura and Cass have come a long way.

This is arguably a small cliffhanger – the smallest of this arc, at least. However, it sits on the weight of the rest of the run. We’re promising a solution to one of the larger mysteries in the run, and I suspect we get by on that. Note how space is used – this is a dense panel layout, but we go to a thired of a page for Laura’s “I know how to end this” (so giving it weight” and then going to three panel page for the conclusion (which adds weight to each of these beats.) Jamie takes the framing to tight on Cass for the beat as well to sell it. Note Matt with the Norn-colouring creeping in – and how it goes from the fires in the first panel to this is just a joy.

Page 23

Interstitial, and obvious reference to the Jay-Z record, but everyone is just excitedly clapping over the adding stuff to the godwheel. Sergio outdid himself here. It’s certainly an example of how you can have storytelling and even hero-shot audience-cheers beats out of things entirely unlike a traditional comics panel. After all these issue,s we get to see something added to the godwheel. Of course people cheer. That said, as I said to a friend, “Of all the things I’ve found to torture the WicDiv readership, hope is the cruelest of all.”

EDIT: Actually, I messed up here - Jamie did the tweaks. Nice work Jamie!

And that’s it. Next up – 42, wherein questions are answered. In passing – the letters we’ve been getting are amazing. I’m going to try and cram as many as I can in the issues to come, but issue 44 will be our last one with a letters page. So that’s a timelimit if you wanna try and get in. It’s [email protected].

Thanks for reading.

#WicDiv #the wicked and the divine #writer notes

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beelzzzebub-blog · 5 years

Text

* GETTING TO KNOW THE MUN :

NAME : Katie

NICKNAME : I’ve had a lot of those. Kate, Kat (it was A DARK TIME), Lila, but I’ve just hunkered down and accepted Katie.

FACECLAIM : Emma Stone!

PRONOUNS : she / her

HEIGHT : 5′5

BIRTHDAY : March 29th

AESTHETIC : old books on dusty shelves, gothic victorian decor, lace, long, dark red nails, antique-y jewelry, teacups, sharp winged eyeliner, autumn leaves, old daggers that are probably cursed...

LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO : "Say It” Maggie Rogers

FAVORITE MUSE (S) YOU’VE WRITTEN : Goodness me... I have to be biased about some of it and mention two of my novel characters being very fun to write, but as far as muses I’ve RPed with... Beelzebub jumped up there really quick, like, I did not expect them to. Honestly. This was kind of a “I just moved and I’m bored” account that turned into “I AM HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE HELLO NEW FRIENDS” account. Crowley is one I’ll write outside of Tumblr and I have a blast writing because I AM the Crowley in my relationship AND friend group, so figure that one out... ummm. Catra from She-Ra and the Princesses of Power definitely ranks, Lila Bard (from Shades of Magic series by V.E. Schwab) is a fave to write AND cosplay, aside from that, I have more OCs than anything, but Beelzebub is the first canon character I’ve brought to Tumblr in YEARS.

* GETTING TO KNOW THE ACCOUNT :

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO TAKE ON THIS MUSE : Okay. Buckle up. I accidentally got on the Ineffable Bureaucracy train one night, and that started my interest in Beelzebub. Secondly, realizing that Beelzebub had been cast as NON-BINARY FEMALE PRESENTING was so fucking cool, like, YES please. My NB friends and I kind of watched the drama about pronouns unfold on Tumblr, and I was like, “Well, I’m gonna stay away from that part of the fandom,” (even though I didn’t) when I was talking with one about the aspects of non-binary and genderfluid and mentioned Bee deciding to go by female pronouns for a century or so, and a face claim change. My friend was really informative about it and said as long as I was respectful, no one would get mad about it.

All right, I left it there.

Then I started writing Bee with my boyfriend. Then I started shipping Bee with Dagon. Then I started coming up with my own headcanons. Then I dug through my research for my final paper of grad school (I had to do a lot of demonic digging) and pulled in some theology. Then I just... figured I’d try it out. And it’s working so well, and I really, really am attached to my Bee. So much.

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE ASPECTS OF YOUR CURRENT MUSE : There’s a bit of freedom that comes with writing a character that wasn’t very noteworthy in the novel, and didn’t have enough screen time to be fleshed out in the series. We got a gist of who Beelzebub was, and I wanted more than that, so I like being able to add my own headcanons or adopt others’, and being able to kind of turn the character into something else while still being true to the title they carry and their place in the canon, like, walking that thing tightrope line? It’s a chance to be creative, and you guys don’t want me to start going off on how important creativity is.

WHAT’S YOUR BIGGEST INSPIRATION WHEN IT COMES TO WRITING : The canon is the beginning of it. The characters, the world, the opportunities available when choosing the character you’re going to write. It’s different for novel inspiration, but I digress, this is about RP. Anyway, I’m a huge geek - I have an M.A. in English, and history was always my second favorite subject. Being able to look back at my Elizabethan Literature and History course and pull things from books I purchased out of interest for that class to learn about this character and their role in history and theology, and write out Beelzebub’s interactions with OCs and canon characters using Good Omens as a backdrop... long story short, there’s inspiration in freedom and knowledge, for me. And love -- I do looooove myself some good shippy threads.

FAVORITE TYPES OF THREADS : Story-type. It doesn’t have to be more than a paragraph sometimes, just something that’s going to tell a story, beginning, middle, and maybe without an end, but it was plotted out a little bit. As far as genre of threads, I’m a slut for ships, but I REALLY love drama/angst (if it includes my character being harmed and then saved I’m WEAK), and also the occasional just “let’s cause some trouble.”

BIGGEST STRUGGLE IN REGARDS TO YOUR CURRENT MUSE: I’m iffy on using my gifs and icons because I’m running out of appropriate ones, but that’s more of a graphic design thing. I found it was hard to keep Beelzebub in threads where they were manipulative or actually harming someone -- it came to me after about a week of having the blog, but I wanted to form pasts and relationships for them before I did much else, it seems. I also struggle with being accepted -- I’ll worry, but it usually flits away pretty quickly because I have the COOLEST partners on this blog. It’s the best RP Tumblr I’ve ever had.

TAGGED BY : @hellsrhapsody (thank u Scotty m’dear! <3 )

TAGGING: @filelcrd @talesofgoreandmystery @excidistisgratia @hasteur @wingsandpages @wingsofstars @beautyxcfxgcd - & anyone who wants to do this!

#ooc ; it izz written #MUNDAY!#[i am so sorry this is so long i just have a lot of feelings about writing and they came out]

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wearetakingthehobbitstogallifrey · 5 years

Text

BTS Members as the Sons of Feanor

OH MY GOSH WHAT THE HECK

so @thelonelybrilliance just showed up late to the Silmarillion and new to BTS and she decided to break my brain by tagging me and @abadpoetwithdreams asking us if we could match up the 7 members of BTS with the 7 sons of Feanor. May she never ask such a question again because I have spent about 6 hours total writing this rant essay that is somewhere of abouts 3500 words. I don’t have the self-control to stop myself from things like this, I love Tolkien and BTS too much

anyway here is a very long and rambling post that was partially composed in my head in the shower and is now just stream of consciousness

(Disclaimer: The members of BTS are beautiful souls and this post is in no way saying that they are as murderous as my problematic faves the sons of Feanor)

ok so the only thing I know for ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN is that Namjoon is Maedhros. if you know anything at all about BTS and the Feanorians, the reasons are obvious:

1. Namjoon is the tallest, and Maedhros is literally called Maedhros the Tall.

2. Maedhros has a lot of names but he was called Maitimo by his mom which means “beautiful” or “well-shaped one” and such an appellation is perfect for Namjoon (ok let’s be real the name could fit every single member of BTS but whatever)

3. (and most important!) never was there a more harried elf trying to keep his brothers in line and alive and not cut to pieces by some justifiably insulted cousin or Sindarin. Maedhros is the mom, the dad, the king, the leader, the eldest bro. “Guys, can we NOT be rude to the sons of Finarfin, can we NOT start a war among the Noldor when we still have Morgoth just across the way” I’m pretty sure he would also lose his passport multiple times if Middle-earth had such things, because his brothers are hard enough to keep track of. while Namjoon may not be the eldest in years, everything else matches up too perfectly. He is the leader of BTS, the spokesman, the one who encourages the other members to step up and speak, helps them with their English (even when he judges them for their dumb mistakes lol), is literally SO DONE with his bros all the time but loves them so freaking much. He is the planner, the peace-maker, yet also has fire in his veins and has seen a lot of darkness and suffering and survived to become even stronger. So too with Namjoon

(caveat: if BTS were Feanorians, and Namjoon captured by Morgoth himself, there is no freaking way they wouldn’t have done SOMETHING to rescue their fearless leader. Jin and Jungkook would storm Thangorodrim fists swinging, followed by Jimin and J-Hope, fierce like you’ve never seen them, and Taehyung would Luthien Tinuviel Morgoth centuries early, or Yoongi would simply glare at Morgoth till he shrank down into a puddle of trembling goo. Don’t laugh at me you know I’m right)

moving on

I have maybe two choices for Maglor? One is Jin, but that might partially be because everyone always talks about how Namjoon and Jin are the mom and dad or dad and mom of BTS. and Maglor is always paired in my head with Maedhros as the other parental figure of the Feanorian bros, though that might be because of how he and Maedhros look after Elrond and Elros. Of course, I love Jin’s singing and I will never ever ever be over “Epiphany”, so I am way cool with making Jin Maglor as far as the music thing goes

All this said, I am not sure if this is the best fit overall. Jin is the King of Chaos in BTS, and I wouldn’t name Maglor as such...also I think I might have another Feanorian for Jin, but I’ll get to that later (spoilers, it’s...Curufin??!) (oh no, I just realized I might have one other argument for Jin being Maglor: “I use other people to make myself happy. I make myself smile by making others smile.” Like, that could be a good quote for Maglor potentially, if you want to relate it to his music, or his care for Elrond and Elros……..but I’m still thinking Curufin for Jin. Stay tuned)

So anyway my other option for Maglor would be...oh heck no I have two other options. No wait THREE. What the HECK. ok let me figure this out. The options are J-Hope, Yoongi, and Jimin. I’m not even sure why yet so let’s find out. (sidenote: if Maedhros did not exist Namjoon the song-writer would be Maglor, as the greatest poet and bard)

1. J-Hope as Maglor: I don’t know, I had reasons but they are escaping me. Maglor is said to have had a gentler temperament than his brothers and I would say J-Hope has a very soft sunshine heart. I guess one thing is that Maglor was left to hold everybody together when Maedhros was captured by Morgoth, and if Namjoon was ever hung on a cliff for an indeterminate amount of time or whatever equals that in our world, J-Hope would step up. I keep seeing things about how he supports the other members when they are having tough times, giving them encouragement and food and love. He leads them in practicing dance choreography all the time, and if I remember I am pretty sure Namjoon actually stated that Hoseok would make a good group leader.

Also one time Namjoon was talking about Hobi (oh shoot, should J-Hope of the many names be Maedhros of the many names? Lol maybe in that one universe where Namjoon is Maglor, then Hobi could could be Maedhros) Namjoon says that J-Hope is like water (where did Maglor toss his Silmaril again hmm?) and puts people at ease. Well idk about other people but Maglor seems to have put Elrond and Elros at ease because even after that whole Kinslaying thing “love grew between them as little might be thought.” I too would probably come to love J-Hope no matter the past between us. He is just that sweet and soft-hearted

2. Yoongi as Maglor: ok honestly I really really actually want Yoongi for Caranthir, more on that later. However I also like Yoongi as Maglor because it is unexpected, yet certain things just feel right. I keep thinking about Yoongi’s “First Love” where he raps about how his PIANO was his first love (GOSH ISN’T THAT THE SWEETEST THING EVER) also in Lee Sora’s “Song Request” he raps this: “I’m happiness to someone and the soul to another / A lullaby to someone and at times a noise / I’ll be with you at your birth and your end / Remember we’re always together anywhere / I’ll always console your life / So just lean on me and rest sometimes” and LOOK I JUST DIED TYPING THIS but what I am getting at is music is burnt into Yoongi’s soul as I think it is Maglor’s, and Yoongi really is very soft and loving and also one time Namjoon said that Yoongi “makes me ponder about what kind of person I am” and Maglor several times is a voice of reason and very much tries to dissuade Maedhros from going after the Silmarils one last time. Idk it could work (but also...CARANTHIR) (BUT ALSO OMG YOONGI’S VOICE MURDERS ME WHEN HE RAPS AND HIS PASSION WOW AND NOW I AM PICTURING MODERN DAY MAGLOR RAPPING OBLIQUELY ABOUT HIS FAMILY AND PAST AND PAIN UGGGGGGGHHHH

3. Who was my other choice? Right, Jimin. Why did I say Jimin?? ? i don’t remember, dang it

Ok I think it is definitely time to do Caranthir.

As previously stated, I love Yoongi as Caranthir. I have my reasons personally I think they are very good reasons :D Ok Caranthir is WOW ok I am OFFENDED because I just went to double-check something on wikipedia and I typed Caranthir into the Google search engine and the first three results were all about this Caranthir dude from the Witcher, and while that game seems very interesting I am UPSET for Yoongi’s I mean Caranthir the Dark’s sake.

AHEM

Caranthir the Dark. What a name. I mean it might just be a reference to his father-name of Morifinwe and to his hair, but he is also described as being the harshest and quickest to anger. Yoongi, bless his soul and his actually very soft and squishy heart, is well known for: being unbothered by BTS general antics, for being the one to sit back and watch everyone else do dumb stuff (like when they were all dancing to MIC drop and he just walks away from them, or when they are all acting like kids jumping in the pool and he just watches with a smile on his face while drinking a glass of wine and look to me Caranthir is the one Feanorian who doesn’t pair up with anyone in particular, like we have Maedhros and Maglor, Celegorm and Curufin, Amrod and Amras, but Caranthir is the one who goes off and lives separate from them and

GOSH now I sound so dumb because I am NOT trying to say that Caranthir doesn’t love his bros or that Yoongi is a loner that is NOT what I am saying, agh I mean Caranthir is great (minus, you know, the kin-slayings the Feanorians sadly fall into) and even befriends Haleth’s people and protects them, t’s just this weird categorizing thing in my head, that Caranthir is the crusty brother, and while he loves his bros to DEATH and they him, the majority of his bros are sliiiiightly afraid of him, in a brotherly way, like how the members are with Yoongi! Like just recently oh what was it, they were on a BTS Run episode and someone had to splash or otherwise give Yoongi a penalty and right away everyone was like NAMJOON YOU DO IT. turning to the leader hyung because they don’t want Yoongi to be mad at them

Of course now I am remembering that one post of gifs demonstrating how Jungkook is the only one who can bother Yoongi without dying lol except NOW I am picturing Amrod the youngest Feanorian* being the only one who can bother Caranthir and then the ensuing PAIN because Amrod Umbarto (thanks for THAT name, Mom) perishes (in certain canon) in flames at the Burning of the Ships and wowwww no I do not need any of this pain

*SIDENOTE: AMROD IS THE YOUNGEST IN CERTAIN CANON WHICH CONFUSES THINGS A HECK OF A LOT SEE THE AMROD AND AMRAS SECTION BELOW

I’m pretty sure I have never rambled so much in my life and also pretty sure I have way too many parentheses and not all of them are closed oops

Anyway, imagine Caranthir as the brother you are afraid of but would die for and who would die for you if anyone looks at you wrong, the brother with the wry acerbic wit, but who LITERALLY LIGHTS UP THE UNIVERSE WITH HIS SMILE AND ALSO DOESN’T EXPRESS HIS LOVE ALOUD AS OFTEN AS SOME OF YOUR BROTHERS DO BUT

HE SECRETLY LOVES PHYSICAL CONTACT AT TIMES AND ALSO SECRETLY LOVES PIGGY-BACK RIDES EVEN THO HE PROFESSES TO HATE THEM AND GIVES OUT WISE LIFE ADVICE TO HIS BROS AND HIS PEOPLE AND IS SUCH A SOFTIE FOR HIS BROS AND OCCASIONALLY SENDS ONE OF HIS BABY BROS LONG LETTERS WITH A SIMPLE “I LOVE YOU” AT THE END THAT HAS CELEGORM OR AMROD CRYING FOR TEN MINUTES (HAHAHA GUESS WHO I THINK TAEHYUNG WOULD BE)

Also someone has to be the best cook of the Feanorians and it might as well be Caranthir

….apparently I’m not done with Caranthir, because “the Dark” also makes me think of a dark horse, or at least something happening that is unexpected, and that reminds me of that interview where dad/mom/interpreter Namjoon was like yeah none of the other members can speak English, and then Yoongi just out of NOWHERE speaks a line of great English and Namjoon was like ….guess I was wrong

OKAAAAY WHERE ARE WE

I do not have very clear thoughts about who the rest of the members are so let’s just go with my brain and hope it makes some good connections

Let’s do Celegorm since I just mentioned him

Celegorm could be either Taehyung or….Jin? :? Merrr idk. Let’s examine

I think the main reason why I jump at the option of Tae for Celegorm is because of Tae’s love for his dog Yeontan, or Tan, and of course Celegorm is the master of Huan, and they had a very special relationship for ages until Celegorm f---ed up. Seriously, you want to see something cute? Look up Tae’s Vlive that is entirely focused on his lil pupper (what am I saying look up ANYTHING about Tae and you will find something cute)

On the other hand Jin could be Celegorm because Celegorm is known as the Fair and if you don’t know by now that Jin is World Wide Handsome I don’t know how I can help you

OMG WAIT I JUST THOUGHT OF OTHER REASONS WHY JIN COULD BE CELEGORM! So Celegorm’s father-name is Turcafinwë, which basically means “strong in body” and Jin has got those broad shoulders (gosh they are so broad). Also, Celegorm’s mother-name is Tyelkormo, or “hasty riser,” referring to his quick temper and habit of leaping when angered. And this doesn’t perfectly relate but the amount of times I have seen Jin yelling or just being wild in general or even just pretending to be mad makes me think of this. Also there was one time idk what was even going on but Jin was struggling to pronounce Bangtansonyeon-dan (SAME) and saying it was too long and difficult and J-Hope was teasing him and Namjoon told him not to get mad since he had been calling himself a fairy and shouldn’t be mad as such, and Jin was like hey I can be a mad fairy if I want lol

See now I am just confused because now I am looking back at Jin as Maglor and I might like that better? WHY IS THIS SO HARD

Speaking of Jin, and Celegorm, why on EARTH was I thinking of Jin for Curufin? Ugggh see my problem is I ran out of time last night and so I am finishing the essay some 20 hours later and I kNOW that when I was saying Jin should be Curufin I had a better reason then their names rhyme. Heck, I could make that same argument for Jimin as Curufin.

Except I also have a second and better argument for Jimin as Curufin, at least under the circumstance where Taehyung is Celegorm. Look, all the BTS members are really close with each other, and you can literally argue all day about who is closer to who (a really pointless waste of time in my opinion I mean why argue when you can just melt over them all being sweet and funny and kind and teasing with each other) but anyway all that aside one thing I love in particular is how sweet Jimin and Taehyung often are with each other, holding hands and comforting each other and being on teams in competitions *starts laughing at the memory of them being complete disasters that one cooking show* and anyway Celegorm and Curufin seem pretty inseparable, running around causing all kinds of trouble (guys sTOP). Jimin and Taehyung have called themselves soulmates, so it makes sense to have them be part of a duo

Not that Taehyung would engage in a kidnapping stunt like Celegorm did, but the point is, Jimin, the precious bby, has Tae’s back

Jimin: “Taehyung is the happiest when he is with me” aww

This has nothing to do with the point of this post but I just need to stop here and say that Jimin is so freaking talented I was just looking up some gifsets of him and obviously his singing is angelic but also OMGGG his dancing!!!

Ok, jumping back slightly, I guess one way Jin could be Curufin is if Jungkook is Celegorm, because I could see those beautiful dorks running around causing all kinds of trouble, except I really have no reason to have Jungkook be Celegorm, especially since he is very much Amras in my head for reasons

OOOH NO I also thought of a way in which Jungkook could be--wait for it--cURUFIN. WHY AM I LIKE THIS

You see, Curufin was his dad’s favorite son and thus Feanor gave his favorite son the exact same father-name Feanor had, Curufinwë, and Curufin is the only son who chose to use his father-name over his mother-name if I recall, and anyway all meaning he probably loved his dad a lot and was proud of his name, and this makes me think of how Namjoon gave Jungkook the title of the Golden Maknae and of how freaking much Jungkook looks up to and respects Namjoon (look while Namjoon is a hyung, he is also a dad figure, so he may as well be Feanor and Maedhros both)

I guess if Jungkook were Curufin, Jin could go back to being Celegorm

Aaaaggggh you do not know how much hair I have pulled out this is taking a lot of brainwork

FINALLY AT THE LAST TWO

We now present my exceedingly confused ramblings regarding the twins Amrod and Amras. Before we begin, let me SHAKE MY FIST AT TOLKIEN FOR MAKING THIS ESSAY EVEN MORE CONFUSING TO WRITE

See, I had Jungkook all set up in my head as Amras, the youngest son according to the Silmarillion. Jungkook is the maknae, the baby, and all the members DOTE on him and he loves them and respects them and pesters them and it’s great, so yeah Jungkook has to be Amras the baby of the Feanorians. I would then put Taehyung as Amrod, the just barely older bby who the other members also adore and protect. Jungkook and Taehyung are SO FREAKING CUTE whenever they are doing stuff together, whether it is singing or hugging or holding each other on their backs while they singing. When they goof off together or pester each other, they are the most precious, must dorkiest dorks to ever be my faves. Hence why I pair them together in my head as Amrod and Amras, at least the times when I am not pairing Tae with Jimin or Jungkook with Jin. Amrad and Amras seem as inseparable as Celegorm and Curufin, and they go off and live in some beautiful wild part of the land and basically stick to hunting and staying out of everyone’s business until they get reminded they took a stupid oath

EXCEPT then Tolkien has one alternate writing where the youngest is actually AMROD and Amrod dies at the burning of the ships because Feanor doesn’t know how to count his kids I guess (Namjoon you lost something again) (sorry that is a terrible joke) (but is it made slightly better by the fact that while Namjoon is apparently Feanor he is much more Maedhros, who was against the burning of the ships and did not participate?) so like this is where I started to get my third headache (exacerbated by the fact that I haven’t eaten dinner yet and it is 9 pm what is wrong with me) because then I have to make Jungkook Amrod and Taehyung Amras. It’s such a trial having to write both their names next to both Feanorians

On the other hand, an interesting thing to think about is that in this alternate writing, Amras was so aggrieved by his brother’s death that he called out Feanor--Feanor!--for being so dumb as to A. call or let his wife call their youngest by the name of Umbarto (the Fated) and then to B. accidentally let him perish in a fire that FEANOR started because he had a grudge (and I think Tolkien wrote that that Amrod was possibly sleeping on the ships because he was upset with Feanor for the terrible deeds he was committing, so like, double way to go Feanor)

I am really tired and hungry my head hurts

What am I missing?

I like Taehyung and Jungkook best for Amrod and Amras a lot BUT if I were doing one of the other options above, I could see having the follow lineup:

Jin=Celegorm, Jungkook= Curufin, Jimin=Amrod, Taehyung=Amras

In this instance, I could see Jimin and Tae as either Amrod or Amras no matter which one is older. Taehyung could definitely be the bby and do his own thing but could also be the brother who mourns his brother and calls out Feanor. Actually though Jimin while being young and precious gives me more of an older brother vibe than Taehyung does, so I guess I would have Jimin be the elder of the twins. Yes, that makes more sense

UGH but wait if I put Jimin and Tae as Curufin and Celegorm, I could put Jungkook back as youngest bby Amrod or Amras, but would Jin fit into the older twin role? Maaaaybe, if you just think about Jungkook and Jin heading off by themselves and goofing off...I don’t like it as much though

Possibilities So Far

Maedhros: Namjoon, maybe J-Hope?

Maglor: Jin, J-Hope, Yoongi, maybe Namjoon

Caranthir: Yoongi

Celegorm: Taehyung, Jin

Curufin: Jimin, Jungkook

Amrod: Taehyung, Jungkook, Jimin

Amras: Jungkook, Taehyung, Jimin

……………………….

I have spent five minutes now trying to figure out possible final line-ups but it’s all a mess

I LITERALLY CAN’T THINK ANYMORE

I DECLARE THIS ESSAY/RANT HAS COME TO AN END

PLEASE CHELSEA SEND HELP!

WHAT AM I MISSING/HAVE WRONG? IS THERE A BETTER SPOT FOR J-HOPE? SHOULD SOMEONE ELSE BE CARANTHIR? COULD JIN BE A CARANTHIR IN SOME WAY?? (I THINK I COULD HAVE THOUGHTS ABOUT THAT BUT I AM TOO TIRED TO THINK THEM)

#the silmarillion #the sons of feanor #feanorians #tolkien #bts #do i tag all 7 sons of Feanor and all 7 members of bts? or would that be obnoxious and useless #yeah probably #emma what have you done to me #chelsea i cannot WAIT to hear your thoughts #*goes to make dinner*

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