#anyway i am Big Feelings about many of these

[bella-goths-wife]

Hi :3, i am new in here and i'm a bit lose, ¿Why does Vox sees their pet like a substitute daughter 🥲?

Sorry if the question it's a bit dumb, but i genuinely don't understand that 🥲

Anyways, i hope you have a great and lovely day (*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ (and sorry if i said something wrong, english it's not my first language)

No it’s okay, I’d love to explain it :D

Why does Vox see pet as a daughter

Warnings: mentions of miscarriage and pregnancy, obsessive behaviour, forced affection, forced paternal behaviour, just overall a complicated and sick dynamic, abuse mentions

This is just my story’s backstory for Vox since i can’t find a canon backstory

So we all know that vox is from the 1950s

And we know that most men from the 1950s had it built into them that it was their duty to continue the family name and legacy by marrying a nice girl and having a few kids

And I believe Vox would be a very big believer in legacy and having an heir to pass down his legacy to, since he was probably a big celebrity and quite wealthy

But during his time of being alive, he never had any children

He had an arranged marriage that was set up by his father, in which he married a woman he had never or would never love

But Vox wanted one thing from this marriage, one simple thing that he craved so heavily

A child

At first he was convinced he wanted a boy, someone who he could mold into being someone worthy of carrying on his last name

But then he realised something, having a son would only challenge Vox as the man of the house

What if his son became more than Vox or overpassed him?

Most fathers would be proud of their son achieved great things but the thought only made Vox seethe in jealousy that one day his legacy would be surpassed by something he created

But a daughter, she would be his to protect without the worry that she would ever overpass him

He wanted something he could own and protect, something to be part of his legacy but always staying below him

A daughter is what Vox wanted more than anything, a daughter that was strong enough to be given his last name but weak enough to need his protection

Of course he’d want a son or two to continue his last name, but a daughter is the only child he’d ever love

Sadly, he and his wife were unable to have children with his wife only being able to conceive and lose pregnancies

The furthest pregnancy that they got to was when his wife was six months pregnant before losing the baby

During the six months Vox fantasised about his child, his perfect girl who he would love more than anything

So when his wife lost the baby, he felt a part of himself lock away forever

The softer part of himself was pushed away to die

He threw himself into his work to distract himself from the loss of his child

He also threw himself into many criminal situations and made very bad decisions which would later land him a place in hell

Vox had already given up on the thought of having children during the living and finding out that sinners couldn’t conceive only pushed him further into the belief that having a daughter wasn’t in the cards for him

And then he met you

Granted when he met you he just assumed you were another scrawny sewer rat who had to steal and cheat just to afford some food

But you quickly changed his mind once you started working for him

Seeing your abilities progress and grow stronger was a magnificent sight for Vox, it was an achievement that he had coined for himself as your mentor

Combining your abilities was also an amazing feeling, to know that there was someone in hell who could only enhance his power made him feel like he could rule the underworld

You unlocked parts of him that he had long forgotten, a more forgiving and softer side

You were strong enough to protect yourself but also weak enough to need his protection

You were smart enough to keep up with Voxs conversations but also naive enough to manipulate to his wishes

You had a strong ability but not strong enough to survive outside of his providing, at least in his mind

You were young enough for him to be able to see as a child at 18, but also old enough for him to be able to exploit you and profit off of you

You were the perfect heir in his mind, the daughter he had always craved

So Vox would find himself being fatherly towards you and showing you fatherly affection, even if he ignored the way you tensed up at his touch

But parts of Vox hated this and denied his attachment to you

He wanted to smack himself for being weak and bending to his own obsessive cravings, but instead he smacks you instead to rid himself of feelings that could soften the sharp image he had created of himself

He craves your presence but despises the thought of you

But because he suppressed his fatherly feelings for you, they manifested into an abusive and obsessive addiction

He obsesses over every minuscule part of you and exposes it because he wants to know you but doesn’t want to get close enough for you to become a weakness to himself

Vox abuses you because he fears you most of all, he fears that the mere thought of you dating sends him into a blind rage or the thought of you getting hurt sends him into a deep panic

He wants to hold you close but parts of him want to smother you in his arms to make it so he doesn’t care for anyone anymore

So vox will always see you as a daughter in his mind no matter how much he tries to deny and suppress it

The only thing his denial does is make his feelings manifest into an abusive and obsessive relationship with you

He sees you as his daughter that he has always craved, and you see him as your abuser who will always be watching you

@hazbinhotelxreader @idontreallyexistyet @perkypeony @sparkleyfishies @buttercupfangirl @repostingmyfavs @lilyalone @the-faceless-bride @fandomaddict505 @corvid007 @rerarlo

#hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin vaggie #hazbin charlie #hazbin angel dust #hazbin alastor #hazbin husk #yandere hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin lucifer #hazbin vox #hazbin adam #yandere vox x reader #vox x reader #hazbin hotel vox #vox #yandere velvette x reader #hazbin hotel velvette #hazbin velvette #velvette x reader #vs pet #yandere valentino #hazbin valentino #hazbin hotel valentino #valentino x reader #alastor hazbin hotel x reader #yandere alastor x reader #alastor x reader #alastor x you #charlie morningstar

[spacebarbarianweird]

Could you please write more about pregnant Tiriel? Your writing about her finding out she's expecting and about Astarion hearing the baby's heartbeat were one of my favorites?

Synopsis: Astarion takes care of pregnant Tiriel.

Tags: dadstarion, pregnancy, fluff

Thanks @themadlu for beta-reading!

Read on AO3

Masterlist

Headcanons

Waiting

“I think I am going to die in childbirth,” Tiriel says, pressing her face to her knees.

Astarion would sigh if he could. Tiriel sits shoulder-deep in a bath of warm water, as the vampire washes her hair and rubs her back.

“You aren’t going to die. You are a half-elf and I am sure the child is rather small. Look at your belly, you are in your last month and it’s not really showing.”

Tiriel turns away. Well, to call her belly small would be an underestimation – her slim body is currently betraying pregnancy. It’s covered in stretch marks that won’t disappear, ever. But again, Astarion has seen many pregnant human women in Daggerlake within the last five years and Tiriel has definitely been spared, carrying someone who takes after their elven ancestors.

But once Astarion thinks he’s managed to cheer her up, Tiriel sniffs.

“What if something is wrong with the baby? You are a vampire! I love you and all that, but you are still undead! What am I even carrying inside? And what if the child is sick? Or deformed? Or…What if it is going to kill me?”

“I can promise you, if something goes wrong, we are saving you,” Astarion splashes water on her hair.

“Thank you.”

He kisses her shoulder. “Don’t worry that much, the last thing you need is to cause a complication.”

Tiriel touches his fingers. 

Astarion adds more soap to the tub. The scent of vomit and sweat still lingers on Tiriel’s skin and Astarion takes a clean piece of rug.

Tiriel has been feeling so bad in the last few days she barely left her bed. Her legs hurt, she couldn’t eat without vomiting, and she hardly slept because of back pains. She finally made herself go out that evening to eat properly, but, the moment Tiriel finished her dinner, she felt nauseous and everything Astarion had cooked for her ended up on her home shirt.

That moment, Astarion had enough of that and carried Tiriel to the bath. 

“I'm sorry,” she says.

“What for?”

“I look disgusting.”

“Nothing is disgusting about a pregnant woman,” Astarion says, rubbing her left ear. “Besides, I’ve seen and done much worse things than giving a bath to someone I’ve knocked up. Your condition is my fault and I am taking full responsibility! Now, let me wash your front.”

Tiriel presses her back against the tub allowing Astarion to get to her belly and legs. Astarion smiles seeing the visible bump and carefully rubs the skin.

He is so close he can hear the second heartbeat. 

It is not clear to him when the child is going to be born. Elves are pregnant for two years, but Tiriel’s body is hardly capable of doing so. Humans need nine months for the same process, but Astarion has learned from the healers in Secomber, the closest big town to Daggerlake, that it’s never clear with half-elves. And it also depends on the child – Astarion tries to think about the baby as an elf with just a bit of human ancestry (still enough to fuck up the gentle elven biology).

But in reality…

The child is half-him, half a vampire anyway. And that should bother him.

He is afraid of that moment. He waits for that moment to come. And he also misses Tiriel in sensual terms. He wants her blood (which is out of reach for him till she stops breastfeeding), he wants her body (they haven’t had sex ever since she got pregnant). 

And he wants her to stop being in such pain daily.

“I look ugly,” Tiriel chuckles. “Don’t try to say it’s not true.”

“It's not. You are beautiful!”

Suddenly Tiriel flicks his nose. “My eyes are here.”

Astarion realizes he’s been staring at her swollen breasts and small droplets of white liquid on Tiriel’s nipples.

“Stop all this nonsense, Tiriel!'' Astarion takes her leg and stretches it to wash it better. “I like caring about you. I like how you look. And I absolutely love that it's me who did this to you. It all feeds my vampiric possessiveness, after all!”

“And I love that it was you who did this to me,” Astarion feels Tiriel’s fingers on his cheek.

“Now, get out of the water before it gets too cold!” Astarion brings towels. “Is food still out of the question?”

“I want something hot to drink.”

“I will make you herbal tea, then.”

Astarion, after making sure she is dry, carries Tiriel to bed.

He looks outside. What he loves about his house in the underground part of Daggerlake is the big windows. There is no point in hiding from the sun, and Astarion can enjoy going outside whenever he wants. Besides, the biggest part of the town is underground too, and Astarion also doesn’t feel like an outcast.

And his neighbors have seen much worse things than vampires who know the law.

Suddenly Tiriel yelps. He turns to her and notices the night shirt she’s put on is wet. 

But wasn’t Tiriel's skin dry when he took her from the bath?

Tiriel hugs her belly and lets out a cry of pain. 

“Tiriel…” Astarion rushes to her. No, not today. He still needs time to get ready.

Tiriel grabs his shoulder. “Go to the healer… I am.. Gods…”

The child has decided to be born today. ------ You can read what happens next in Little Bundle of Darkness --

@tugoslovenka  

@herstxrgirl 

@herdarkestnightelegance  

@vixstarria 

@not-so-lost-after-all  

@marcynomercy  

@theearthsfinalconfession 

@starlight-ipomoea    

@micropoe10 

@astarion-imagine-archive  

@veillsar

@elora-the-slutty-songstress  

@fayeriess  

@lumienyx  

@tallymonster    

@caitlincat-95  

@tragedybunny  

@valeprati  

@lynnlovesthestars   

@marina-and-the-memes  

@waking-eyes   

@ayselluna  

@connorsui  

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@darkarchangel96  

@locallegume  

@brainfullofhotsauce   

@coffeeanddonutscafe  

@my-queen-rhaenyra-targaryen 

@queenofthespacesquids  

@ednaaa-04  

@dajeong

@wilteddreamsofbaldursgate

#bg3 fluff #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #astarion #bg3 astarion #astarion romance #astarion bg3 #astarion x tav #oc tav tyrael #dadstarion #tav oc #astarion x reader #astarion x barbarian tav #astarion fluff #tiriel of the sunset mountains #astarion x tiriel #tiriel the barbarian #oc tav: tiriel #pregnancy

[marcelshorjian]

hi. I saw your coming out post. Big congratulations!!!!

I, bittersweetly, relate very much. I'm 23. I started suspecting I was trans around 15/16. I can generally repress it for a good long while (a couple months at a time), so the dysphoria comes in waves of "oh I can tolerate this forever, it's fine, its not that bad, they're just words/names/pronouns."

I think I am very soon reaching that point of "oh god this is inevitable, and I can't live as a woman anymore."

But I also know I have successfully bottled it back up when feeling like this before. And likely will again because I'm about to go into my first career, corporate job.

If you can even answer this... how did you get to the point where you felt ready to come out publicly?

Congrats again, truly.

Hi there! I usually don’t publicly reply to the more personal messages I get on here, but yours really struck a chord with me. Thank you so much for sending it.

I know what you’re going through. I have been stuck in similar patterns for many years. I started suspecting I was trans when I was 15, asked my closest friends to be called by a male name and pronouns when I was around 19, but only decided to transition medically and publicly this year, at 26. It takes time.

Every year I would get an intense few months of feeling like I needed to transition, but always decided against it, for the very same reasons you named. Feeling like I could survive just like this. Feeling like if I could do without it, then it wasn’t something I had to « put myself through ». That it also wasn’t something I had to put others through. I intellectualised it to the point of finding many material reasons not to do it, focused on my fears and the vulnerability it would bring, just to occlude that very simple question: what do I want?

Delaying doing it, thinking it’s fine, it’s just a discomfort, is because you’ve lived with it for so long it doesn’t register as pain anymore. But it is pain.

Why should you settle for survival? Why would stating what you want be selfish? What are you really putting others through? Some tweaks in the way they address you, maybe some confusion and questions they’d never asked themselves before, that can only broaden their understanding of human complexity. The hostility often comes from defensiveness, but it's not your problem anyway.

You don’t have to do it all at once. Hormones can be started, stopped, picked up again. The changes are gradual. You don’t have to come out to everyone right away, just a select few you trust. But you’ll see, freedom is addictive.

I got to this point after years of unease by being around my amazing trans friends, and seeing them thriving and caring for each other, and them telling me: you love us like this, so allow yourself the same grace.

#answered

[goatskickin]

hi, i've been learning how to make hair retextures and clothing recolors and your tutorials and tips have been super helpful! i was wondering if you could explain how you retexture clay hair? i'd want to add more realistic looking textures to some clay afro hairstyles but i don't know how to do it and i haven't find a tutorial for it

Hi anon, that's great! Making CC is really fun. 😊 I think so, anyway. So, I do have a tutorial about how to retexture clay hair, but instead of just providing you with that link, let's talk a little bit more about what you're interested in: adding more realistic looking textures to clay afro hairstyles. You're in luck - that's a thing I like to do sometimes too! Clay hairs often lend their shape very well to locs, braids, puffs, knots etc.

So this hair, @miniculesim's 4t2 conversion of okuree's Clementine. I have done before but didn't change the texture at the time. But I could! Let's try it.

This is the mesh and texture we will be working with.

Sometimes I like to view a mesh in UV Mapper so I can get way up in the mesh. Like way up in there.

I'd like to use my fave TS4 texture on this mesh.

This is the original texture for Clementine.

Where I have circled in red is where I am going to paste one long rectangle section of the TS4 Dread texture I prefer.

See? That's not so bad.

One big difference between retexturing alpha hairs and retexturing clay hairs is how the texture looks when the hair5 connects to the head.

See these starred red areas? We will come back to this. Because I don't like how that looks, and I can do better.

So, this is Clementine, with all of the locs texture that I'd like to have on it. It has the original scalp texture, however. It is okay, but not the vision I had in mind.

What I am going to do is put my afro texture underneath the locs.

I use Photoshop which allows me to have many many layers in an image.

My layers would be like:

1)Locs 2) Afro texture 3) the original texture.

It looks a little better. Not quite done yet, though.

When it comes to clay hair, I'm always on the side of 'if you can't beat em, join em!'.

Clay hair meshes have their textures painted to match their UV maps exactly. So, retexturing is tricky. I don't mind leaving in a little of the original texture, because why put it to waste when it's useful, you know?

I need to adjust the hairline texture though. That's not quite right.

What I have here is the 1) original texture around the hairline, then the 2) TS4 dread texture I added, and then 3) my afro texture layered both underneath and on top.

This works, I think! I like it.

And then in a black recolor of course, very important that that looks good on any afro/protective style.

I hope that this is helpful! Please feel free to DM me if you have questions. :)

#answered asks #sims 2 tutorial #rly hope that made sense!

[whatisame]

Bartylus, baby!!!!

Summary: Barty is in jail and Regulus wants to break up with him. Inspired by that one Shameless US scene.

"Barty..." There are no words to describe what Regulus is feeling right now, holding a phone to his ear and looking at Barty through the stained glass.

"I did it myself," he smirks proudly like it isn't obvious with his wobbly R and smudged g. Regulus is going to kill himself. And then Barty. Don't ask how.

What were you thinking?

Why are you making this so hard for me?

"That is not how you spell Arcturus."

"The fuck it isn't." Barty frowns and looks down at his bare chest. "A-k-t-u-r-u-s."

"I think I would know how to spell my own middle name, Barty."

"Fuck. Are you messing with me right now?"

"Are you?! Who the fuck gets a prison tattoo? Do you know what kinds of infections you could have gotten? Did you even sterilize—"

"—So you don't like it, is that what you're saying?"

"Jesus Christ." Regulus runs his hands through his hair, a fruitless attempt at soothing himself. "Whatever made you think that I'd like it?"

"I don't know, Regulus, the fact that it's fucking romantic?" Barty stared at him with raised eyebrows and Regulus resisted the urge to slam his head against the glass. "I was thinking that once I got out I'd have enough practice to make it look better, maybe even move on from the rusty needle. Then maybe I could give you one of my name. Maybe of my face? Definitely of my ass."

"I'm so not doing that."

"I'm kidding! You don't have to get one of my ass. Although, I must say, you're kind of missing out."

"I will not be getting any tattoos in your honor, Barty. It's over."

"What do you mean?"

"You and me. We're over. We're bad for each other, B."

It was startling, Barty's face changing from his usual couldn't-give-a-damn expression to something so solemn. Regulus had scarcely seen it happen over the course of their friendship. He saw it once, when he'd found out about Walburga's anger issues and how she chose to deal with them. And twice, when he'd pushed Regulus away after their first kiss.

And now, obviously.

"You don't mean that," he says gravely.

"I know we're not boyfriends, I know you hate that word but I thought—" Regulus takes a deep breath and makes himself look Barty in the eye. "I know about Evan."

It's funny. How Barty doesn't even try to deny it. Then again, he didn't think he would.

"Fuck," is the only thing he says.

Regulus agrees.

"I just came here to say that, so..." he grimaces, almost hanging up.

"Wait, Reg!" He sees more than hears the words leaving Barty's lips. He picks up the phone again. Barty is silent on the other end.

"What?" Regulus snaps. It irks him how the other boy enjoys making things harder for him. He knew how much this meant for him. How much he meant to him.

"Just–Don't go." Regulus scoffs. "I'll be your fucking boyfriend or whatever. I don't care but— Stay."

"That's exactly the problem, B. You don't care. I like you—"

"—I like you too!"

"Well I like you more! Clearly! I have been at your beck and call for months and you might pretend like you don't notice and everything is the same and we're still the Barty and Regulus from years ago, but we're not. I'm not. I refuse to spell it out for you, B, so read between the fucking lines."

Barty is silent for a long time before he speaks. Something about the shadows lurking in his eyes makes Regulus lean closer. Everything about Barty is magnetic, and he fucking despises it.

"I know," he nods slowly, "I have always known I don't deserve you. This is not me pitying myself, I know I'm a fucking scumbag, I'm proud of it. But Reg. Fuck. If you could see yourself the way I see you... Well, you'd freak out. I'm properly mental." He chuckles half-heartedly. "It's actually fucking annoying having you running around my head all day. Pretty sure my cell-mate thinks so too. Any day now he's gonna stab me in my sleep with my soap-knife—"

"—Your what?"

"It's a knife carved from soap. Don't worry about the details," Barty says, waving a hand dismissively. "My point is he's told me I'm getting on his last nerve by talking nonstop about you. Or at least that's what I think he said, half of it was in Spanish so, you know..."

"Oh."

"Yeah," Barty says while scratching the back of his neck. He avoids Regulus' searching gaze.

He knows he shouldn't press. That Barty is uncomfortable right now and that to leave it alone is for the best.

And yet...

"What do you say about me?"

It makes Barty throw his head back with a laugh. "Oh, baby, you'd be surprised."

"Well, go on." Regulus twirls the cord around his index finger. The one with the ring Barty gave him. "Surprise me."

"I talk about you at lunch, and make sure everyone knows how much I miss tasting your delicious food."

Regulus laughs but it's more of a punched breath. Barty practically bites through the spoon whenever he offers him a taste.

"I talk about you in the yard when I see the ridiculous cliques and know they'd make you laugh."

Barty describes them for him. He hates that it does make him laugh. He tells him he should join the retired christian hitmen. Barty disagrees, but only because he's forming his own clique.

"I even talked about you when some guy tried to beat the shit out of me. Told him how you weigh half as much as he does and could still kick his ass easily."

"Barty," he chastises. Try to stay out of trouble, he'd told Barty when he first visited him. To which he had replied, Don't worry, I'm going to make prision my bitch. It had done nothing to put Regulus at ease.

Barty smirks. "Shut up. You're flattered."

It makes him snort. Not bothering to deny it.

"I don't talk about you at night but that doesn't mean you're not up here being a little shit." He taps his forehead with the plastic phone and smiles languidly. "You haunt me. I want to know what you're doing, who you are with, it drives me up the walls."

Regulus swallows hard.

"I think often about how I'm here for you. And eventhough I know you hate me for it, I'd do it again. And again. I'll always look out for you first, Whiskers."

"You shouldn't."

"You see... I knew you would say that."

Regulus isn't surprised. They know each other better than anyone else.

"I'm still gonna do it," Barty adds, shrugging. "Even if you get rid of me."

"Like I could," Regulus scoffs. "Fucking parasite."

"Good," he declares. "Now, about Evan—"

Regulus' throat constricts. Right. He'd forgotten for a moment. Evan accidentally let it slip, how he spent the night at Barty's some weeks after their first kiss.

"It's over. I promise. It's been over for a long time. I haven't been able to–ehem–perform with anyone else since we..." he trails off but Regulus got the gist of it.

"Are you kidding? That was months ago!" Barty looks mortified which makes Regulus feel quite accomplished. Barty is naturally unashamed, unbothered and proud, and Regulus feels a rush whenever he manages to get him to snap. Pressing his finger on a bruise has always brought him pleasure. "Don't tell me you were suddenly feeling shy?"

"Fuck you, first of all. I don't want to talk about this."

"Did little Jr miss me so terribly he had to go into hiding?"

"Yes he fucking did!" Barty screams, all loud energy and electrifying gaze. Everything Regulus is fundamentally against concelead in a grimy boy who happens to be his favorite person in ths world.

"So you must like me a lot, huh?!" he goads.

"Yes, you asshole! Very fucking much!"

Regulus chuckles, chest warm and pleasant buzz under his skin. "Adorable. I guess your dick isn't the only thing that went soft."

Barty crackles at that, flipping him off as he laughs.

"I hate you so much," Barty mutters when the shared laughter dies down.

"Yeah, I know." Regulus smiles, gently tracing Barty's stupid tattoo with his eyes.

Regulus Akturus Black

"I hate you with my bones."

#flesh and bones. they love each other with their flesh and bones I AM SO NORMAL ABOUT IT #so i think i need to clarify that theyre not dating and Barty TRIES to hook up with Evan as he'd done many times before but he freaks out b #he's thinking of reg the whole time and hes not supposed to catch feelings like that #anyways i wrote this on a whim because i started looking at some gallavich gifs before going to sleep. BIG MISTAKE #im supposed to be asleep #fuckkkkkkk #bartylus #barty crouch jr #regulus black #barty x regulus #regulus x barty #starkiller

[skrunksthatwunk]

something he can't put into words.

#ANOTHER DAIGO POST!!!! <333 #also sorry for being like teehee yaoi dojima anyway daigo can't/probably shouldn't be close to his bio dad and latched onto this random #20 year old but Doesnt Quite recognize what is so wrong about sohei and so right about kiryu and how he should feel about either #meaning he cant fulfill his true desire (baby duck around kamurocho with his babysitter who's probably got better things to do bc people #always have better things to do than take care of him but at least kiryu pretends he enjoys it #for hours and hours and hours. some of the others ask him how he is or what he's up to at school but they don't really reach him like kiryu #does. he wants to impress him soooo bad. aughhh baby daigo you're annoying but you're also so emotionally neglected #haha latching onto mentors bc they're more involved/easier to connect to than parents haha who would do that not me ahem uh anyway #(skrunks be normal about and not project onto a kiryu + child dynamic challenge: impossible) #anyway he can't just say sohei's his father bc he's a big crime daddy but he hasn't really.. accepted? whats going on with kiryu yet either #i dont think he knows kiryu's his dad is my point #rgg #ryu ga gotoku #yakuza #dojima daigo #like a dragon #daigo dojima #ykz #i accidentally saved over soo many versions of this so i had to be like fuck it we ball. thats the final version of that panel now #gonna schedule this for later today bc i dont wanna stifle the kazumi posts but i also uh. am impatient #anyway more little daigo content he's such an ass but it makes so much sense why he's like that and he deserves a whole lotta love #also i just realized i used different name orders for kiryu and yayoi... sorry idk im just incapable of writing kazuma kiryu #uhOOPS POSTED IT EARLY NVM #yer gettin a loootta skrunk content today ig #skrunkart

[lleclercism]

I love charles winners mentality and whenever ppl ask him abt any position he is that is not p1 (in anything) he's immediately like "yeah it's fine just not something i particularly care" or "it's good just not what im aiming for" like idk man anyone else in his position would just settle for mid because like he's already in f1 and has sponsors left and right and he is living the life but he cares so fucking much and wants nothing but to win and be at the top always and at the front every weekend and if it doesn't happen then he will make sure it will be different in the future and all he wants is to win and ferrari and a wdc and then another wdc and then another and another all whilst being in ferrari and winning in ferrari

#you know when you feel something in your bones . and you just know some things are just meant to be #thats how i feel abt charles winning a wdc and be able to dominate for years to come like genuinely #and i hate reading negative comments and putting that bad energy out in the world #anyways im a 'go big or go home' type of person and i hate watching something where the competitors are happy with #being in the middle of the pack and being comfortable with that #idk i just feel like you can always be better and improve and give it your 110% to things #and thats exactly who charles is and no wonder why i love him so much lmao #charles leclerc #yes i am finally catching up with the interviews from today I HAD A VERY BUSY DAY and a lot of love for this little mouse #i have so many thoufhts about this but im eepy

[devilsskettle]

i feel like i’ve been WAITING for the other shoe to drop wrt people’s opinions about watcher for this very reason. not that i think the reaction is completely not understandable but the greater the parasocial relationship, the greater the fallout as soon as public opinion shifts. you don’t have a relationship with these people they’re just content creators, chill

#ready to see all the people coming out of the woodwork to say how they’ve never liked watcher/unsolved/etc #and act like it’s ‘cringe’ now that their fanbase feels ‘betrayed’ #it’s great to have a fanbase but parasocial relationships will bite you in the ass every single time #it’s interesting too though because i’ve seen watcher have a LOT of support as they’ve tried to build something separate from buzzfeed #so this is the first time they’re getting real pushback about a decision they’ve made wrt shifting their platform/expanding their brand #so ig we’ll have to see how they react moving forward #but it’s soooo interesting to see how enthusiastically people dump on buzzfeed #AND how many people dump on youtube and how over the years so much of its functionality has been stripped away #how many ads you have to sit through. how much sponsored content there is now. etc #but when they try to do the same thing with youtube that they did with buzzfeed it’s like how dare you not lick their boots #because if you lick their boots and we lick their boots we can watch stuff for free #anyway. #even if you don’t any to say it’s a bad business decision. it’s not like there’s not precedent for it #1) the move away from buzzfeed was successful and 2) what about the dnd shows or whatever #don’t you guys watch those dnd shows that are ‘behind a paywall’ #don’t you guys have netflix hulu disney hbo amazon etc ad nauseum that are actually owned by billion dollar corporations #don’t you guys get on your high horses about supporting independent artists all the time #it’s interesting that people will profess to be such big fans!!! and feel like they’re friends!!!! #but how dare they think their work might be worth paying for #idk. idk. it’s entitlement though #sorry for the rant i’m ALSO not trying to blindly defend a bunch of people i don’t know #but you guys are being soooo fucking annoying about it lol #anyway i’m still waiting to see what their response is going to be from here before jumping to conclusions #also to be fair i am biased to be lenient about decisions made by independent filmmakers vs big studios etc #like everybody freaking out about the ai art used in late night with the devil. who cares honestly #‘they should’ve paid a real artist!!’ idk maybe their budget didn’t cover that #i don’t want it to become the industry norm but at the end of the day i would rather see indie shit getting made then only seeing #the big studios (who don’t have equitable practices anyway!!) making shit #but that’s another conversation. just to be transparent about my viewpoint on this kind of thing #maybe controversial but also can’t we have nuance. for once.

[derpinette]

i need a girl to be tomboys with soon. or i will Die

#with a heavy heart i have to admit that i am tired of being a uhm. what is the word for incel but friendship. not friendcel... #Well you know what i mean #been like 3 years of being completely alone save for the biannual meeting i have with my bestfriend #Which is Dopeness BTW<3 but she lives in another city & i miss having someone Regular #someone Regular to MAKE INTO MY ACCOMPLICE #OMG i feel like a friendship cheater RN #caus yeah all my life i only really have one friend at a time ♯PlatonicMonogamist save for ninth grade #when everybody in my class was friends with one another Pretty much. BEST YEAR OF MY LOIF #SO MANY SHENANIGANS. & ! people would always mistake me for a weird effete fag ( which made me genuinely suicidal then ) #i miss it so much - that one hag who will not stop talking about middle school years (2) after bac. graduation #^ last time i ever made a friend... feeling really pathetic right now Stares at the ceiling emptily with big blank sparkless anime girl eye #animorphs into a dog & lies down #i know exactly why i am alone BTW ( *in barks that you can perfectly understand* ) i will still lament about this anyway Le Sigh #here are my requirements: female; must be some degree of depraved; VIRGINS ONLY. #in spirit counts for that last one. then you can join my Gangstalking Circle ( smallest one in history )

[paulic]

If any beatle is on that Jeffrey Epstein list I will kill myself not joking

#I am joking #I don’t believe they’re on there but so many people universally believed to be good are on there #like Stephen hawking was someone I admired a lot until I read what he enjoyed watching #the records were released on the 1st of January i feel like if the boys were on there it’d be big news by now #i don’t even know why I’m thinking about this there is absolutely nothing that suggests they might be #anyway #emmys thoughts

[ghosts-of-love]

not to be mentally ill but today when i went for a walk in a nature reserve i was climbing a hill and it was cold but so so sunny and everything looked beautiful and i saw so many cool things and i stood there and was like damn what's this feeling in my chest and why am i smiling so much?? my guy,, it's called fucking happiness. i was just present and content in the moment and couldn't contain myself so kept doing the silly arm shake thing i do and grinning at everything and then was like woah what's this feeling. fuckin, happiness dude.

#think the arm shake thing might be stimming (??) i referred to it as pogging and was informed that i've been using that word incorrectly #but yeah stimming ig #the arm shakes!! we all know them... #anyway do you ever get the feeling that other people experience happiness differently to you? #idk last week i was v depressed and now ive had a couple days in a row where ive been giggling with people and ive been cuddled and kissed #and today i took myself off on a walk and i was so so happy and then as i was walking back to my car #i had the gut wrenching feeling that i needed to text my parents that i'd been outside and had a good day and saw multiple cool animals #and that i loved them. because i suddenly got really worried that i would die on the way home and no one would know i'd been really happy?? #even though id literally sent my bestie loads of photos and texts and a literal voice note while staring at a robin lol #anyway and then i was floored by the realisation that i carely deeply about whether i died or not #because i was pmsing last week and that is a terrible time for me and i end up being kind of passively suicidal ig #so to have such a big change in the space of a week was a huge shock #these tags are sooo incoherent and span so many emotions #i promise i've had a really lovely day. i just am anxious all the time and depressed sometimes #in a way that is harder to predict now my periods have stopped. #im realising this is the kind of stuff that should probably go in my diary but i've got this far with the tags that i can't be asked. #if anyone is still reading #you do not have to respond to this or like it in any way. i promise lol

[helennorvilles]

the buffybot's info on willow including 'gay (1999-present)' 😭

#obviously buffybot is like. many levels of gross. but she as a character aside from the reason for her creation is like. very funny. #anyway i am today feeling very grateful for surviving 'the body'. i had my big cry and now i can laugh about gay (1999-present) #season 5 truly is a rollercoaster #nia watches btvs

[there-will-be-a-way]

It's wild growing up as a socially awkward child with little friends and then becoming popular in literally every group setting as an adult

#personal posts #I literally do nothing #but I got told I have an ~~~aura~~~ of calmness that makes people feel comfortable apparantly #I just can't get over this #shy 12 years old me would be so proud #literally everything I ever wanted #a social life I'm happy with #(I think it's important to be a good listener tbh #because if you pay attention to it most people only listen to wait until it's their time to talk about themselves again #which is kinda frustrating) #also #considering how much of a mess I am it's strange how often I get told that I'm unshakably calm #like 'calm' is The word people use to describe me with #like my number one trait #anyway #I'm very much enjoying the popularity my adult years have blessed me with lol #good for the soul and the ego #especially the ego #like yes my life is a mess and I haven't met many milestones but at least I'm a decent person #can't even remember the last time I felt lonely and if you've been following me for a couple of years you may know that's a big deal

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: December 7

"Wolverine" by Goghi

#song of the day #beautiful beautiful song very very fun to sing. about loving nature and wanting to bite people! ideal. pristine. #every line is the best line but the whole chorus is really something special #'I am the wolverine / get close I show my teeth and / no love for my own / I walk my path alone and #I am the submarine / deep hunter of the seas and / I sink enemies / making widows in the open ocean' #there's a little fuck I never know what that's called. what's it called #a little ripple-run in the melody on 'making widows in the open ocean' that brings such incredible joy. amazing song to sing #also--this has nothing to do with the song--I am so hungry #Nick has his friends over (which is good! not complaining about that. he did get permission and they're not rude or destructive so chill) #but our livingroom is now a minefield of people and beverages and popcorns I think that smell is popcorn #and to get to the kitchen I would have to pass through. step over all of them and walk between them and their videogames on the big screen #and I'm just not feeling it! #so we turn again to the grace and foresight of past-me and we reap the great pop-tart harvest #do y'all know how many boxes of poptarts there are under my bed? literally I do not know. I've just been getting interesting flavors #apple jacks. banana bread. snickerdoodle. apple fritter. eggo. cinnamon sugar pretzel. cinnamon roll. that's seven! #seven boxes of poptarts under my bed! I gave the boston creme pie and pumpkin pie ones to Nick bc they were gross but these are all good #I missed out on the vanilla latte and chocolate churro flavors sadly. they were before I started #(do you ever get halfway through a sentence and then you think: huh. my whole life to date and this is what I'm doing now. huh.) #anyway they were before I started collecting poptarts

[bi-tchsexual]

I don't care about the long-term negative effects of chronic stress, I care about the short term one of all my dreams being horrendous and bad and full of situations that I can't win

#em overshares #this is like the 5th night in a row that i have had dreams where i set out to fulfill a task and am unable to! or the end result is off! #sang a wonderful folk song about a whale but was ultimately unable to find and befriend it #became the proud owner of a Car that is Big Enough for my Belongings but lost them all and now i live there #had terrible sex :/ #helped watch someone's cat but they told me he eats plain pasta for dinner and i got sad #on a road trip with my parents and my tires were flat but we couldn't exit the highway and I got pulled over #i am sure im missing some other weird scenarios that my mind has created to make sure my sleep is as unfulfilling as being awake #anyway sorry for over sharing and mentioning sex (a thing many people do and have. except when /I/ talk about it im Gross) #oh wait no i remembered another scenario #having to have sleepovers at people's houses that i barely know so im always uncomfortable and feel bad asking for a glass of water #anyway dream Me is going through it

[southernvampire]

just got to act 3 and I'm not ok. that conversation in the pistis sofia... after going through everything, losing a lot of people, your time running short and getting sicker by the moment, the option for V to trust Johnny almost completely is there.

the realization (for my V in particular) is that yeah, he would take a bullet for Johnny. yeah, he does want corps to burn, no matter how impossible that actually is. yeah, he will let Johnny take over to talk to Rogue and trust him with his body, because at this point, what else does he have to lose? Johnny needs his body to survive just as much as V does. and when Johnny tells him that he'll help V and be ok with being wiped out, V believes him. no matter if Johnny is actually trying to trick him or what everyone has told V about Johnny, he chooses to trust him.

in the moment, he doesn't worry about the reasoning behind it, if his mind is slowly turning into Johnny's or if he's just being stockholmed by Johnny, because he's seen the look on his face when a relic malfunction happens, heard the hitch of concern in his voice each time. and yeah, that concern is for himself, but also for V. he can almost feel Johnny's emotions in those times.

after that conversation, he realizes that he loves Johnny in a way that he can't quite put his finger on. like not being able to help but love a part of yourself simply because it's you, except Johnny isn't V. not yet, if Hellman was right about how this was all going to go down. but it's more than that. he also loves Johnny like a childhood friend you've always had feelings for, but know nothing will ever happen of it so you choose to be by their side through the years to be close to them and care for them in a way they will accept. except they've barely had time to properly know each other, yet they know each other more than anyone else has ever had.

whatever feeling it is, it is intimate and selfless and bordering on being completely, unapologetically unconditional. and though he doesn't have proof, V thinks that Johnny might be feeling the same, or similar, feeling toward V, whether or not it's solely based on his own need for survival.

he realizes that he doesn't exactly want Johnny to go away, not completely, and he's not sure if he could deal with the loneliness in his mind afterward, or the guilt if anything happened to Johnny's construct. he needs Johnny, cares about him, partly because they're slowly melding together into one, but also because he doesn't have anyone else he's ever been this vulnerable with, and he senses the same might be true for Johnny. he doesn't want to let go of Johnny, but deep down he's also not ready to die, his self-loathing be damned.

the pistis sofia is a great place to die, but not today, so he'll keep trying to find a solution. but the odds aren't looking good, and if it comes down to it, he doesn't know if he'll be able to choose himself over Johnny.

#cyberpunk 2077 #silverv #johnny silverhand #i am not ok #i have so many feelings about these two #i have a feeling that v will choose the temperance ending in my playthrough #he's an ex corporat who deep down is a sensitive person and doesnt know how to live with some of his past mistakes and is v traumatized #but at the same time he's putting so much effort into helping others around him and will do anything for his friends - #even if they only met 10 minutes ago #he has such a big heart and has dealt with so much loss and now he has to fight off grieving for himself while trying to find a way to live #only to be hit with the realization that death may be unavoidable anyway and he's become too attached already to his brain parasite #meanwhile johnny is becoming softer and softer towards v and wants v to have his body and mind back 100% 🥺 #unless something major happens in act 3 i think vincent might just pick the temperance ending but this is my first playthrough so who knows! #oc: vincent vale