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justaredheadf1fan · 1 year

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It's finally time for the start of the season

Hello again, my darlings!

As I said on my previous post, just in case you didn't read it, I'm gonna write about the pressers from Thursday and all Free Practice sessions in one post and Quali and the race in another, I'll see if it's dynamic enough. No idea if it'll be any good but anyway, I'll section the posts with subheadings so that if we want to read a specific part, it'll be easier to find.

I forgot to mention yesterday, that I LOVED LOVED LOVED that Susie Wolff has been appointed the Managing Director of the F1 Academy. I'm so happy for her. I did mention last week that I'd hoped for her to be the new Williams Team Principal, but this is even better. She's gonna make this challenge her baby and she's gonna crush it. I'm sure of it.

After all that, here we go.

Press conference - Thursday

The press conference format has finally changed, the sofa's back and it looks more relaxed maybe? I like it better tbh.

Alonso's hair definitely has a life of its own 🤣 this man is insane, honestly. It must be the Aston Martin effect, but we'll have to see if they finally flop or what.

Nico talking about his talks with Kevin and their renewed relationship is actually funny to me. I'm expecting violence in Haas again. I'm truly waiting for the downfall of Haas from within to happen. I feel sorry for the boys but not for Haas 😗

I think Nyck is super cute, he looks like a kid even if he's closer to my age than most of the other drivers on the grid. But after last year I expect good things from him and I'm excited for him to do good.

I still don't care about Piastri, I don't even like the way he talks. And no, it's not due to the Daniel thing, it's just I don't get a good vibe from him, there's something about him that I don't like at all. And Logan looks like a nice fella, we'll have to see. Typical American by the way he speaks, no doubt, but I hope he's once of the nice ones. He does look like one, at least for now.

I don't care what people say, but I love how George speaks, he's so sensible and eloquent. Plus, his accent is top tier and it makes everything sound so smooth. Anywho, I hope the Merc boys have the car they deserve this year and that it's not just looks 🥲

Sharl being unintentionally funny as usual is the best part of this. He's right though about them and all the other teams not showing everything they got during testing, which is why I'm both hopeful and terrified about the reality check I might get hit with in the face this weekend.

It's weird seeing Pierre rocking the Alpine team gear. He looks more relaxed maybe, or it might just be my impression.

Free Practice 1 - Friday

Okay, so not much going on really in general. Just as expected, kind of. Aston Martin is doing quite well, which after testing was in the cards so, we'll have to see whether it's something that eventually will just stop or it'll just stay the same or even improve. This proves that, as my friend Marina says, Seb's eternal debriefings were worth it. Damn it Seb, and you had to leave before it started paying off?! I miss you, please come back 🥲

Other than the green surprise at the moment, the rest looks kind of the same as last year, more or less. Hopefully, Mercedes won't look the same because otherwise I don't know what hope there will be left. Lewis has had a few good times, so I have a little hope so far, hope I'm not wrong in the end.

I'm actually quite surprised with Lance, because he's driving after having surgery on his hands which is insane to me, and he's doing a fantastic job too. No, we won't tolerate Lance slander on this page, WE STAN LANCE. With that said, I'm sorry but I need AM to flop.

McLaren flopping is my new mood. I'm honestly happy about it, I hope it gets worse. I might not be quite the good person for this, but they deserve the worst. I said what I said.

Carlos scraped the floor of his car and had a near miss that I think I speak for everyone, none of us expected.

Other than that, I don't have much else to say until FP2, so let's see what the afternoon brings us.

Free Practice 2 - Friday

What the hell is going on with Aston Martin? No, seriously, what have they fed them now? Jesus, that shit is crazy.

I mean, this session has been insane. Lance making P1 and Nico P2 was like a fantasy to watch and then comes Alonso and takes P1 and owns the session basically. It wasn't unexpected after FP1, but come on.

I still find it incredible that Lance could drive at all, honestly. I've seen that he was having trouble with his hands but I mean... That shows the kind of person/driver he truly is.

Other than this, we'll have to see what tomorrow brings, literally.

Free Practice 3 - Saturday

Afternoon folks, finally Saturday!

I'm seeing Lewis set purple sectors and getting P1 as I type which is giving me major hope, and I'm scared. I NEED THIS TO BE FOR REAL ALL SEASON.

Not much going on in general, so I'm gonna take the chance to comment on something I didn't say yesterday watching the rest of the sessions.

So, I truly like Lance. He's a menace and he's underappreciated and underrated, in my opinion. That said, I don't understand how the FIA have allowed him to drive this weekend. I mean, you can see he has trouble with his right hand specifically, what if he had an accident or he had trouble steering during the race and crashed against another driver? How would he get out of the car if he needed to do it quickly? He's truly doing a fantastic job especially given the circumstances but... I would've understood better if he had come back for Jeddah instead of Bahrain. Plus, we know our little buddy loves war crimes as much as Alonso does, so it's not truly safe for him to be driving.

And, on the other hand (pun intended), we see the FIA's "concern" about Lewis' piercings. Are you kidding me? A grown ass man who has made HIS CHOICE about the matter apart from having a medical recommendation for him not to take his piercings out all the time because it's not good. Anyone who has piercings or knows anything about them knows about the materials being mostly safe for a tone of situations and about the problems of changing or removing them and putting them back on repeatedly in a short period of time.

A choice btw about something that ONLY affects HIM if anything were to happen. You know what that's called? Targeting, discriminating and, therefore, racism. Plainly because he's the only (black) driver been chased about this. Have Checo or Kevin stopped wearing their wedding bands while driving? Has Pierre stopped wearing his cross necklace during the races? It's just a few examples, and I don't think that they should follow this rule just now if they're aware of the risks and it's their choice to take the risk. But have they been pursued about any of this? Nope. Just the one person.

Back to the topic, Alonso crushing it again today, but it's good news that Lewis and George are there for now too. They're doing good, so we'll have to see how this goes in the end.

How fantastic would it be to just see Alonso and Sid the Sloth battling at the top and eliminating each other for not backing down? Because I think we all know Verstappen doesn't move because he doesn't know how to overtake, but we also know that if Alonso were given the chance to fight for Top 3, he would not move and he'd kick his grandma if need be.

Anyway, it's been nice to see the cars go vroom vroom again. We'll have to see the reality during Quali and the Race. Let's hope for the actual good stuff.

Peace out!

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murdering-time · 1 year

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An Overdue Explanation and Update

// Hey Folx

I know for the majority of the past few months I have been very inactive and I'll give you the short of it all before the cut. Mental Health and Dropping out of Uni.

Of course I'll be back, I've been in contact with Spider and Doorrat ((who are both incredibly sweet people out of asks for the record)) and I have a few things planned out for the blog which is VERY exciting!

I do plan to go through the Hatters Acrs in BTAS without the use of cameos ((Trial I will maim you)) and Im not too focussed on this blog being cannon compliant !

If you wish to read more, just to know what's up, it's all under the cut, and TW for me being open about my mental health but that's about it

Best to all of you!

Hare

Aha, a curious fellow, eh? (Gender neutral)

Alright, the meat of it all

The past few years Ive been struggling mentally anyway - I flip flop from incredible highs to just inexplicable lows - it's incredible exhausting, leaves me restless and sleep deprived, and worst of all I've been trying to complete university on top of it.

My studies have suffered. I have suffered. And now it has all unfortunately caught up to me.

These past few months I have been doing what I like to call "hermitting" Its where I isolate myself, store and conserve my energy for the small things I enjoy doing, and those I want to talk to.

I have dropped out of University after failing a second attempt and this academic year I am working.I have a new job, I am talking to new people, and I am recouperating myself.

I have a therapist again, too and having been in and out of counselling for just over half a decade it feels like I'm getting somewhere with help.

I should be seeing a psychiatrist soon, and I sincerely hope they can give me some answers for being incredible low emotionally at the worst of times.

So, what does this mean for my blog?

Well! Essentially, I have more free time! Lost more free time!

I can feel the lack of stress of study, I feel lighter, and up until now I was incredibly drained at a constant.

I started this blog in the Summer holiday (nearly just over half a year ago now) and I never thought it would pick up so quickly as it did!

I am having such fun, and I still have Doorrat's ask in my inbox to continue the lore and story of Mad as a Hatter

I have a few tags to make, tag lists, organisation, just for each sort of episode that's explored I can go through the tags and make a tag list

Really, just now, I'm hoping to keep myself a float, Im still working on my stupid little fanfic that this blog was inspired by, and I'm just trying to get myself into the flow of having most the week to myself and not sleeping in

It's fun! Real fun, and from talking to such lovely people who drop by my inbox (Phone Im looking at you too) and all the peope who send and tag me in things

It makes me feel very welcomed and it makes the breaks I need feel valued and understood

Really, just, being a sap on main, I am so touched by the inherent support that there is for me, for Hatter, for this blog, and for the arcs that are being spurred on by all the wonderful asks in my inbox

I love you all very dearly, the spam likers, the lurkers, the askers, the RPers, the people who have messaged me, tagged me, thought about this stupid little blog --

It's an honour to be here and to be supported like this especially with the stress that I've gone through offline UvU

Expect some more lore soon, right now Im just finishing up a scarebest fic for a mate of mine and hopefully going to update the little long term fic Im working on and check exactly where im supposed to be with that on the outline

I'll be sure to draw a little thank you for the wait, and while It would have been appropriate the put Jervis in Arkham BEFORE going AWOL unfortunately I cant choose when my brain decides "hello. Time to hibernate."

Needless to say, this fucker WILL end up in Arkham, which means NEW EMOTES, and you guys will be more than able to ask about the inmates, Jervis' allies, and who he's connecting with within the asylum

Sympathies and regards to all of you!

Hare

#update #ooc #mun #where have I been #INSIDE #IN BED #rotting away under the comfort of my new MUSHROOM THEMED BLANKET #and also simping for bob velseb #thanks for that doorrat /lh #guess whos been knitting though #and spending time with a very sweet man #who coinsidentally got me my job #bless him #im seeing him sat and were playing board games together #fully reccomend ruins or arnak by the way #fucking spicy game

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dollsome-does-tumblr · 5 months

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some the gilded age 2.03 thoughts because why not!

re: aunt ada and reverend clam chowdah, i caught myself thinking "this is a m/f romance so cute and charming that it could somehow only be portrayed by a queer woman and a queer man" and then i remembered belatedly that RSL isn't (to my knowledge) queer, he was just in love with house for 10 years or whatever and it changed him irrevocably in my mind. anyway: i like this plotline.

every single servant scene is SO in downton mode, it's just hilarious to me. they ain't even trying to make it even remotely different! whoever that butler guy is (sorry, i haven't learned their names) was definitely serving some major mr carson energy by being horrified at the thought of joining a union.

that scene between peggy and her mom was so heartrending and sad; god, the contrast between "you go here and you're no longer a human" and all the dumbass rich people ~opera war~ stuff. also, i am lowkey in love with peggy's editor guy, he's so charming. does he HAVE to have a wife??? because i thought he and peggy were gonna fall in love! but also i don't want his poor wife to die or something! i am both excited and scared to see what's to come here!

BERTHA RUSSELL MY BELOVED CRYING!!! NO!!!!!!! (what a beautifully intense scene tho! and when he touched her arm and she walked away and she was cryingggg againnnn, nooooo!!!!) oh, george, you done messed up. you're supposed to tell her everything! you are PARTNERS! i do like that she's like "get me a duke and we'll talk." they were really keeping the business side of their marriage functioning well throughout that fight. i feel like there's a labor unions/marital union joke to be made about george but i can't find it. george, you're supposed to offset being a capitalist nightmare by being the world's dreamiest husband. chop chop! get ya woman that duke! (also, was that a george/bertha hug i saw in the promo? i hope so!)

i really want a gigantic pink bedroom with a chandelier. i can't get over it.

i really hope there's no infidelity re: the russells and instead it's just them and turner having an absolutely insane throwdown rivalry of pure nonsense. we don't NEED infidelity to make this plot bonkers. dear god, please let jfells have gotten that out of his system with robert & cora. (i'm still mad about robert macking on the god damn maid while cora was dying of spanish flu in the next room, for the record! i'll never let that one go!!!)

lol, oscar wilde was sure oscar wildeing about like mad. i loved how everyone was just like, "wow, this oscar wilde dude wrote a SHITTY play." damn, you guys! have mercy! i had to look it up on wikipedia just to learn more about this particular theatrical flop.

i am pretty sure people complain about marian but i find her really charming and pleasant and delightful. i just wanted to put that out there into the world.

i believe it because of the production values but also i can't believe this show is on hbo.

#dollsome's deep thoughts #the gilded age #the gilded age spoilers #tga spoilers

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negans-lucille-tblr · 3 years

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Hi Bee! Random question for you but do you get excited to post and share something new? I used to but in the past year or two I honestly don't really allow myself to be anymore. I'm excited for the writing absolutely but the actual sharing not so much. I always say I'm excited to share X to my followers but in reality I'm neutral about it. I know I don't do it so I'm not disappointed if something is received poorly but I wish I could go back to enjoying sharing again. Any advice is appreciated!

I naively always get excited to post something new, because I always hope that I've got it right like I did with His Property. Usually the first chapter does okay, but after that interaction drops majorly, and it usually just gets worse throughout until the end.

I should've learned by now that my glory days are behind me lol

Very luckily, I write very far ahead of myself when it comes to tumblr. I'm currently working on a chapter for a series that's not posting on here until the end of November. The chances are I'll have finished writing the series before I start posting it on here. So luckily, low interaction on here doesn't mean that I stop writing it and abandon the WIP.

BUT, if I didn't write as far ahead of myself, and there is a chance that I will fall behind or life will get busier, then it would be a real concern that I just wouldn't want to write any more of that fic if I thought people just didn't care. As much as we always talk about writing for ourselves, I also am terrible for self criticism and most of the time require validation to continue writing. So when a fic doesn't seem to have much interaction, I quickly lose my passion for it, and it would be very easy for me to want to stop writing it. I mean, by mid-series, I usually resent having to set up and post chapters, let alone write them too. (Kinda like what you're saying)

Also, very very luckily, I have readers like @synmorite @hoboal87 @agenthellcat @jbbarnesgirl @samwinchesterjaredjensen @stoneyggirl @writethelifeyouwant in my Members discord who have had to have their own channel set up so they can discuss and theorise my fics chapter per chapter. Like some of these girls are up at like 3am waiting for the chapter to be posted so they can jump in the channel and discuss theories. And that kind of shit is honestly what keeps me writing. Without them and the support of my members/Patrons, I don't think I'd still be writing because Tumblr is like a ghost town now.

And that's not to say I don't appreciate all my readers on here, because I really do love every single comment I get in any form. But we can't ignore that as writers we do require validation.

Anyway, I've literally rambled so fucking much, I apologise. But if you struggle to want to finish a fic because of low interaction, maybe try working on and finishing the fic before you begin posting. That way, you've written the whole thing with the excitement and enthusiasm because no one has quashed that yet, and even if you do get low interaction, you've still got a great (completed) fic for yourself to enjoy.

Also, don't forget, that tumblr is a weird place. Sometimes I release stuff I think is gonna do terribly, and it does amazing, and I release other things I think people will love and it flops. Who knows what the readers want anymore, not me, clearly LOL but you never know what you post that people might love.

Lastly, if you enjoy writing and hate posting, would you consider just not posting it? If you're still getting what you love out of being a writer by writing it, then maybe don't risk killing that buzz by posting it and watching it flop. Maybe all us writers need to learn that self-validation is enough. I know it's easier said that done, believe me.

Anyway, probably not helped, just rambled at you, I'm sorry 😩🙃

#bee answers #long answer #advice #writing help #writing advice

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writemywaytoyourheart · 4 years

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BTS Reaction: You having a panic attack | Maknae Line

Requested: yes ❤️ thanks for the request love!

a/n: here's the second part to the panic attack reaction! Hope you guys like it :)) -chip

Genre: angst-ish, fluff

Warnings: panic attacks, car accident and catcalling. Nothing too severe but if that triggers you don't read!

PARK JIMIN:

an anGEL

"TO THE STORE!!! WOOHOO!!" Jimin cheers and runs down the steps leading from your apartment, jumping off at the last few steps and landing on the ground gracefully before sprinting to the car. You hurry down the stairs and laugh at him, sending him a big smile when you see him watching you happily from the side of the car.

Jimin always gets excited when you two have movie night. Whether it's the movie, spending time with you, or the snacks; you still can't figure it out. You climb into the driver's seat, buckling your seatbelt and turning to your boyfriend, "ok, seatbelt on?" He nods and pulls on the belt strapped around him to prove it to you. You laugh and shake your head, turning on the radio and plugging your phone in.

"Music?" Jimin pumps his fists in the air at your question.

"Yessss!"

The two of you make it to the store, and run around collecting all the goodies you can't wait to stuff your face with. Jimin has a little basket and is grabbing chips, popcorn, and spicy snacks. You fill your basket with different candy, cookies and ice cream. Then, the both of you meet up and buy everything, lugging it to the car and settling back in your seats.

"Woooo, that was a lot." You flop in your chair and pull the buckle around you. Jimin pulls his on as well and nods, "yeah, there will be no shortage of snacks tonight!" You two laugh and you plug your phone in; handing it to Jimin and giggling at his surprised face.

"You can pick the music. As long as it isn't something you know I hate." He nods and gently takes the phone, scrolling through the options.

You're driving down the road, singing along with Jimin to the song blasting through the speakers; when the car in front of you swerves a little to the right. It straightens out, but now you're nervous anyway. Jimin makes a 'hm' sound and you see him shift in his seat.

"That car has done that a couple times, actually." Jimin speaks up and your palms start to sweat. Was the driver drunk? Hurt? Tired? Just not paying attention? Your mind starts to think up all the worst case scenarios, then you feel Jimin's hand on your thigh. He pats it and says softly, "it's alright y/n, just stay a safe distance behind him and we'll be fine." Yes. Yes, he's right. If you keep your cool, no matter what the person in front of you does; you'll be fine. You take a few deep breaths in and let them out slowly, keeping a distance between you and the swerving car. If there's one person you trust, it's Jimin. If he says you're fine, then you're fine. Jimin smiles at you and pats your thigh again, "good job baby, see? Nothing's gonna happen. Just hope he pulls over soon." You nod in agreement.

After a couple minutes, the car seems to be going straight again, but you're still uneasy. Jimin shifts again and mumbles, "is there a number we can call to give them a heads up that someone is driving that maybe shouldn't be?" You shrug but keep your eyes on the road, "I'm not sure. But I don't trust this guy-"

At the same second you say that; the car in front swerves off the road, almost turning in a complete circle and you scream, slamming on the breaks and just missing colliding with the vehicle.

You and Jimin lurch forward in your seats; the belts restraining you and slamming you back into place. Thankfully, the airbags didn't explode and you both seem to be fine. Your breathing picks up and you start to cry, your hands shaking and struggling to unbuckle yourself. Jimin unbuckles and quickly reaches to your side to undo your seatbelt.

"Hey, hey baby it's okay. Calm down, y/n." You can't though. Your nerves are absolutely shot and now all you can see is dust in front of the car, obscuring your view of the other driver.

Once Jimin is sure you didn't bang your head too bad, he hops out and runs to the other car. You can't see anything, but your body is frozen jn place and won't let you get out of the car. A minute later Jimin comes into view; his phone to his ear while he nods and speaks to someone on the other side. Your boyfriend walks to your side and opens your door just as he hangs up, "come here, baby. It's alright. Everyone is okay." He pulls you into a gentle hug and let's you cry it out on his shoulder.

"Just breathe deep, babygirl. You did the right thing, everything is okay." After a minute of just crying, you pull your head up and wipe your eyes, "how is he? Is the other driver okay?" Jimin nods and pushes your hair back from your eyes.

"He's okay. He didn't get enough sleep last night I guess. He's shaken up and extremely regretful, but he doesn't have any serious injuries. The police will be here soon to get everything sorted out." You nod again and Jimin smiles softly, lifting your chin to look him in the eyes, "hey now, you did great. I'm so proud of you." Jimin knows you suffer from anxiety and it took a huge amount of strength to keep your cool. You hesitate, then give him a small smile.

"After this is all figured out, I'll drive home. We'll continue movie night and forget this happened, okay?"

"Thanks Jiminie."

"I'm so proud, and I love you, y/n."

"Love you too."

KIM TAEHYUNG:

mHm, yAs, wHo sAid yOu cOuld LoOk liKe thAt?

"You ready, cutie?" Taehyung opens the car door as you're flinging your purse over your shoulder and skipping to the door he's opened for you.

"Yes, I am! Thanks, baby." You hop in the car and Tae shuts the door with a big boxy smile on his face. He gets in on his side and shuts the door, rubbing his hands together and turning towards you, "alrighty! So, downtown?" You nod enthusiastically and he giggles while putting the car into gear.

Tae hurries out of his side so he can open the door for you; which makes your heart positively melt. You pat his arm and smile at him when you hop out, "thank you, you're such a gentleman." You kiss his cheek and he tries to hide the blush creeping up his cheeks by staring at the ground.

"N-no problem." Then your fiance links his arm in yours and you two are off. You both love to shop, so you go in and out of lots of stores before stopping to grab a bite to eat. After lunch, you see a pair of tan heels in the window of a store and stop to look at them. Tae didn't notice and kept walking for a few paces before turning and realizing you had stopped. He laughs at you staring into the window longingly; then he starts walking back to you. Right before he reaches you, he hears some random man call out to you.

"Hey beautiful! Looking good."

You turn at the sound of the voice, seeing that Tae had kept walking and some man was looking you up and down. There's a sinking feeling in your stomach and you turn to walk away when he calls out again, "you not gonna say 'thank you', babygirl?" You pick up your speed when you see Tae walking towards you with a look of murder on his face.

"What a shame, I woulda liked to-" the man says some inappropriate stuff that you try to block out. You reach Tae and he grabs you by the arm and pulls you to him. You stumble into his chest and try not to panic. You can feel how tense he is and when he goes to move toward the guy you hold him back, "Tae, please. Please, let's just get out of here. Please, Tae." You're starting to tear up, scared that the man is gonna try to start something with your fiance and you just want to leave. Tae's shoulders drop when he feels your panicked grip on his shirt.

"You're a piece of trash. No wonder all you do is sit on the street and catcall girls. You couldn't get a date if you paid someone. Pathetic." Taehyung spits at the man and turns to gently drag you away.

"T-thank you, Taetae." Your voice is quivering and he pulls you into a nearby store before enveloping you in his strong arms. "Are you okay, darling?" You nod, but contrary to your actions you burst into tears and choked breaths. Taehyung shushes you and holds you close, petting your hair and rocking you back and forth.

"Hey, how about some boba tea?" He says after a little while, then he laughs at the way your watery eyes start to shine at his suggestion. You nod and he wipes your tears away, "no need to fret baby, I won't let anyone touch you." You hug him again and listen to the sound of his heartbeat; it's strong and steady, calming you down almost instantly.

A week later you find a box with a note from him. The note reads: Just a little present for my one and only girl <3

You smile and set the note down gently before opening the box; gasping and rolling your eyes when you see the tan heels you wanted that day.

JEON JUNGKOOK:

yEaH let's not talk about this gif. Bc I'm dead mofo.

It came out of nowhere honestly, you have no idea why it happened....

You and Jungkook are on his bed, he's on his back scrolling through his phone and you're laying on your stomach with your head on his tummy. You were extremely tired earlier when he asked you to come over but you missed him so much so you decided to just relax with him, that way you could still spend time together.

Jungkook giggles, which causes his tummy to jiggle; making your head move since it's lying right on his stomach. You laugh and open one eye to peek up at him, "what're you laughing about up there?" he looks over the top of his phone down at you and smiles before cooing at you, "hi sleepyhead, get a good nap?" You nod against his abdomen and cuddle closer to him, "I guess, if you can call fifteen minutes a good nap." He nods, running his fingers through your hair then flips his phone around for you to look at while he massages your head, "this is what I was laughing about. You can go back to sleep if you want sweetie, I'm not going anywhere." You look at the meme on his phone that Taehyung sent him and giggle at it then you stuff your face back into his belly and give it a big kiss. Jungkook squirms and laughs out loud, "stoooop~ it's tickling!" You smile and lie back down, closing your eyes. You feel Jungkook brushing your forehead softly.

That's when it hits you. Suddenly your chest is tight and you squeeze your eyes shut, willing it to go away. You breathe in and out deeply, but it just gets worse from there. You feel your palms get sweaty and the thought that someone is going to hurt you jumps into your brain so quick you can't catch it in time to logically figure it out.

You sit bolt upright, startling Jungkook, grabbing your chest in an attempt to help the air go in. Jungkook sits up quickly and reaches out for your hand. He knows exactly what's going on, even if he doesn't know what has triggered it. You don't mean to, but you're panicking at this point, so you yank your hand out of his roughly and stumble off the bed. Jungkook watches you in alarm, seeing you start to sob and shake right in front of him, and not knowing a single thing to do about it.

"I- I ca- I can't-" your breaths are super short and your sobs are choking you, not letting you get enough air in to speak. You start to fold in on yourself, the horrible feeling that someone is right there about to kill you taking over your mind. At this point Jungkook is off the bed, mind turning round and round to figure out what to do. Then he wraps his arms around you, sinking to the floor slowly alongside you as you cower to the ground. You both sit on the floor and you can hear Jungkook saying something, you don't know what, but the sound of his voice is breaking through the blur of panic.

You mentally grab onto his voice while he rocks you back and forth, telling yourself over and over that it's okay. You hear little fragments of what he's saying, things like, "my baby's okay. You're perfectly safe my love. No one can hurt you. You're okay babygirl. My baby is so strong. It's just you and me, love. Nobody but you and me."

Eventually your sobs have stopped. Jungkook keeps rocking you, back and forth while you two sit on his bedroom floor. When you come to, you realize he's started to sing to you.

His voice is breaking slightly due to his tears, but you can't see his face. His heart breaks for you every time this happens, and he wishes he could take it all away.

Your breaths are slow and calm now, the tears on your face just a sticky reminder of what just happened.

When Jungkook feels your breathing slow down, he pulls back and smiles gently at you. You look like a mess with your hair sticking to your face and a red, runny nose sniffling. Jungkook kisses your nose and softly wipes under your eyes, then he pulls his sleeve over his palm and gently dabs under your nose to clean you up.

"There you go, baby." He whispers and keeps smiling while fixing your face up. You curl back into his chest and he wraps his arms around you, continuing the song where he left off.

"Take my hands now, you are the cause of my euphoria."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a/n 2.0: I hate Tumblr. The end.

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survivormontenegro · 5 years

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Episode 1: "I'll either flop hard or finally fucking win so let's see how this game plays." - Ian

season starts in t minus eleven minutes and I'm SO READY TO FLOP WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

give me an idol thanks

Hi!!! Im back on tumblr survivor omg I thought I would never return cuz I am so inactive on skype but here I am with the best hosts ever seamus and drew even tho seamus bullies me... This time now that I actually have some experience I hopefully wont be first boot and can play better rather than be a sheep LOL

So far I like my tribe, Ali and mitch are prob my favs so far both kings

The only people I have ever heard of before is willow one of my bffs from FB orgs and jones bc shes jones but both on the other tribe so hope I can meet them at swap or merge!

But apart from that no clue who these ppl are, kinda nice tho and refreshing since on fb its always the same people so this should be fun

Bro we got 2 sandwich artists. And a sandwich related challenge. If we don’t win I’ll be mad

Okay so right now I don’t know anyone or anything what the fuck. This is so different from zwooper everyone is here to play. Right now I’m getting good vibes from Caleb and I think I’m gonna make him my go to. I know Noah on the other tribe but I know he doesn’t like me and I really don’t like the way he plays games. I heard Jamarcus was in this game but I guess not :(. But yeah so this is gonna be one wild ride!

submitting this before i forget/decide not to do a video on it:

http://bit.ly/2ZoKSiK <- Jason’s First Impressions

Hie Montenegro,,, im here,,, and full of existential fear!! I wanted to do a full video cast assessment but my phone storage truly sucks on this night at 3:00 am and I have shit to do tomorrow so :) gotta write!! Myfeelings!!!! David - has said Hewwo when we were revealed and vanished. Hopefully he can deliver in a comp Bc rn he’s kinda irrelevant :( holding out hope tho Willow - queen of being busy,,, we talked in pms but for like a minute,, she knows some of my friends from an FB game I watched her play tho! So that’s SOMETHing, but not a lot. I’ve heard not the greatest things about her social game in the past tho, so I’m not shocked rn Evan - I think I’ve actuallh played w him before assuming this is the same Evan from erinsborough? Big shrug, he was inactive that game tho and would’ve striked out if we didn’t vote him,,, hopefully things are different tho? His picture is Gavin from DP and I appreciate it greatly,, Tom - I just got off of a 5 hour call w him and he seems really chill!? Haven’t talked in pms yet or anything so hopefully we can do that soon? But he seems like a great dude!! His dog is super fucking cute too. JJ - I think of my entire tribe, he’s the epitome of extra. He has 50 fucking sugar gliders like??????? Ma’am?????????? Also he’s from tengaged and MORE IMPORTANTLY he knows keaton apparently!! So,,, probably a crackhead knowing my luck w Keaton. He’s very outgoing and friendly tho and definitely seems like someone i COULD work with,,, but I wanna see how everything plays out, Caeleb - adopted him as my grandson. Bc he called me his grandma. He seems like a sweetie pie it’s his first org ever though so go him!! Hopefully grandma can take him under her wing hehe Mo - literally one of my first close friends in the community,, an angel whom owns my heart, I feel like he’d wanna work w me but I’d never know fully until we prove our loyalties yk? So I’m also holding out hope for him,,, king. Alex - I love him!!!? So much???? He said he stans me I love him sm Bc I remember stanning him when I first started playing Bc he’s all I’d heard about art in the community lolol but I’m v excited to actuallh play with him I fucking called him being here :) Jules - my love my light we just clicked real quick, she’s legitimately an angel whom I adore??? It’s her first survivor game I’m rooting for her. But ya I’m exhausted so that’s it for now UwU gn bois

okie I feel like I should do a cast assessment of my tribe, just as a starter. my opinions will like 1000% change so this is by no means final but woo I'll go with this!

In general... this cast is... pretty good? Like I was very very worried since I'm so annoying that everyone that hates me would reappear for this season, but I think(?) only like... one person in the cast would dislike me/gun for me for preseason stuff. Anywho:

Benj: Okay he seems super super nice! Like he seems really friendly, we have a lot in common already and I think since we are both in weird timezones we could work really well as allies! He seems super like chill and would work with just people he seems to get along with, so I feel like... that could be a real potential alliance in the future ahhh!

Ian: Ian I haven't spoken to all that much yet (he was towards the end of the cast reveal) but he seems really really chill! He has also come 2nd twice which is something I can relate to, so maybe we will be on a similar page as players?

Jared: Okay first fellow newbie. We haven't spoken much or had the chance to really like have a good conversation so far! I feel like since its 12-8 for newbies, maybe its a good idea for us to group up tho, idk if it can happen since at least for me, I haven't really connected to the newbies as much?

Jason: He is so so fun! Like I've really liked talking with him so far, he was on the CAH call yesterday and was getting along with Julia which is really good too, since I defo wanna work with them both!

Julia: A QUEEN. okay I was very worried seeing her on the cast reveal since both times I've played with her, I've voted her out very very early.... BUT, she seems interested in wanting to work with me and I'd love to because such a wild time, and I feel like... me and her strengths/weaknesses can kind of counterbalance in a way that'll work really well! She could always be playing me, but tbh... its what I deserve anyway, and I'd LOVE to see her do really well this season.

Madeline: I really like her! I've spoken to her probs the most of the newbies and she seems really nice and social which is super good! I feel like she'll fit in for a while and have quite smooth sailing

Michael: I'm sure he is great, but we haven't really.. been able to talk all that much? I feel like if I had to predict who would go if our tribe lost, I'd... probably say him?

Mitch: omg this cast is so big I'm not even through my tribe AHH. anyway mitch was on the first cast reveal like I was. I get ok vibes from him, he seems like... he is here to play the game hard which makes me nervy, but hopefully I can like fudge that to my advantage?

Noah: okay he is super fun, I feel like... our conversations have been very dry, but also that its 100% my fault. idk the ability to be interesting just kind of _dropped_ out of me but I'll try and redeem that today

okay the other tribe I'll just skim through and do the ones I know:

Alex C.: he seems like a king! I've been in VLs for seasons he has been in, I feel like he will not like me but I'd love to meet him!

David R.: okay he will 10000% not remember me, but he was in my first season ever! he was very inactive and his only like... confessional was about me being annoying KJSLDAD which is maybe a.. bad sign! lets see how it goes this time

Jones: She seems SO nice! I have been in VLs with her before, and she seems so so so nice! I'd love to play with her down the line, but I think she is also probs here to WIN which is scary.

Jules: A LEGEND! I love Jules, would love to work with them if possible! They're probably the person I am closest to pregame but can hopefully keep that hush hush...

Mo: a king! I hosted him for his first season, and he was SO much fun. I feel like he has gone off me, but I'm super excited to see how he does!

Tom: he is... probably the biggest problem for me in the cast? Like he was in the only season I won, and saw me play a snake game which I do not intend to play like this time? But I feel like if he still dislikes me (which he might), he could like... tell people how snakey I was! I would love to like work with him if he wants, but I feel like he wouldn't trust me at all KASDLF

Willow: A queen! I haven't spoken to her in ages but used to around her first season a lot! so so nice.

Yeah so overall thoughts on each tribe:

Durmitor: Almost everyone I knew preseason was on this tribe, which is probably to my advantage, that'll hopefully help out in like... a swap situation? Worried about Tom but am cautiously optimistic about Willow/Mo/Jules! I feel like this tribe is gonna do very very good on challlenges which... AHHHH i don't wanna go to tribal

Budva: Okay I really like my tribe! I get the best vibes from Benj, Julia & Jason who are all people I'd love to work with! I think(?) I could be okay for now, like I feel like I've already got some good ties, and that there are other people that would go... before me... maybe? Its probably only like 2 rounds on these tribes so I maybe don't even need to last that long aksfda

Ugh honestly why am I back and like... I DON’T ANYBODY HERE? Nicole G is my spirit animal.

Well except for Jason and Julia. I do know them as well as Alex and Rob. Basically I don’t know anyone post chamonix and I feel like a fish out of water. I’ll either flop hard or finally fucking win so let’s see how this game plays.

My tribe is idk, quiet? But like we called and played cards against humanity which was fun but like idk Anau and Monte Rosa were just more active and fun and all.

Julia - fellow oldie, I might work with her since she’s quite social and all. Witchcraft and all.

Jason - I wanna work with him because 1) oldie 2) fellow runner-up and 3) he knows josh. And if my TS career hasn’t proven me wrong, people who I play with who know josh are a huge BOON to my game so yeahhH

Benj - he seems nice. He lives New Zealand so we will probably be the only ones awake at our respective time zones so that can be grounds for something :D

Ali - seems nice as well. We talked about the weather and all so that was fun.

Mitch - we had a short convo so idk him very well to get a good read on him.

Jared - We only started talking now so we will see hmmm

Michael - I’m 50% sure he’s a robot. Just because he sends messages like a robot but I could be wrong. Idk it’s hard to get a read on him but we talked some and I hope he is good at challenges

Madeline - She told me she was a returnee but the wiki says she ain’t? What is the truth. Seems nice?? Idk

Noah - we haven’t talked

Tbh this is probably the most quiet starting tribe I’ve been on. Nicole G is my sprit animal btw

(hi plss add this to the first confessionals i sent) Asya - haven’t talked to her as well. But she did briefly joined the tribe call

Here's a Video Confessional that details what’s on my mind:

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America I think I fucked myself over on this one. I told JJ and Tom last night that I got 155k in sandwich stacker the last time I played it and now I think they’re expecting me to recreate that score?? And like,,, do better?????? But it turns out I’m unexpectedly very busy today and I can’t even do it when I get home Bc I’m not gonna have a laptop to play it on,, so I fucked myself over on this one chief. Not only am I most likely not doing this challenge, but I set myself up to look like a challenge threat!! When I can’t even back it up???? Love that for me :)

okay so I've now had a chance to talk to pretty much my whole tribe more which is fun. I LOVE THEM ALL AND REFUSE TO EVER. GO. TO. TRIBAL.

So my favourites atm are defo Julia, she is SUCH a legend, and her hex powers will carry us to success. I'm also really liking Benj & Jason on a personal level, they are super fun, and like chill on a game level which I really like!

Of the rest, Jared approached me to work with me which AHH exciting! But it was kind of unprompted and outta nowhere, so I'm worried he could play a bit too hard too fast, so will try and keep an eye on him. Madeline is super fun, I'm really liking talking to her, and I'm more reassured about working with my fellow newbies now, since Jared/Madeline I'm really liking! Michael is super sweet, he sent me this long nice message about how to pronounce my name which was super sweet, I haven't spoken to him too much yet! Noah I've spoken to the least, he is my biggest ??? so far, which ahh but I'll figure that one out. Mitch is quite quiet but I really like him! Ian is a king!

AHH I LOVE EVERYONE THIS IS A PROBLEM. I always do this where I make friends with everyone and then have to betray someone every round. I'm determined to pace myself this time. Julia is my Number #1 rn, she approached me first and I think we are a great balancing pair. I also really like Benj/Jason, would love to maybe be in a bigger alliance with them? Jared I'm like... apprehensive that he is gonna play really hard, but also wanna work with him. Those are probably my top four rn? I'd then put Madeline/Ian on the next level, Mitch the level below and Noah/Michael on the bottom level as my biggest unknowns!

otherwise this challenge is so demonic, and one day I will get revenge on seamus for making us endure this. I think I'm doing pretty good, and like... can't face the bread anymore, so will probs stick with my score. I really don't wanna go to tribal so hope my tribe can pull this out wooo!

Hi it’s Mo, I’m the dumb bitch who thinks he needs a Gatorade after walking up a flight of stairs. At the moment I’m feeling very distressed because I sat outside for a good hour or so and some mosquitos decided to take it upon themselves to go to town on my legs. But game-wise I’m feeling very comfortable on my tribe. I think I made some good connections on the tribe call last night and I got to know everyone really well and literally I have no complaints about anyone at the moment. They’re all super chill. My biggest fear is letting them down so I’m doing my best to get a good score on sandwich stacker.

Wow It's great to be back and not know like a single soul! I will kms because of that! Also wow my boss sprung a double on me today so I didnt get to talk to anyone! In the first 24 hours! I love this for me! Im on call right now so hopefully I can do SOMETHING and get good with people!!

So I have yet to do a formal confessional but let me just tell you my tribe is so cracked and I love it. I'm gonna give y'all my thoughts on the players of my tribe because why not. Ok so first off we have Julia. Julia is so cracked but I LOVE HER. She is the good luck charm of the tribe because she is involved in witchcraft and honestly I find that hilarious. Then we got Ali. He seems super sweet but I have yet to get to know him well. I think he has been in the tumblr community for a while but I'm not sure because im not in that community (whoops). Jason and I have meshed pretty well together over the love for the cowboy emoji, Madeleine seems like an easy number for me, and same for Jared. I think if we ever go to tribal I might try to connect us three with Benji who I also think I can trust really well. Then we have Ian and Noah. Honestly my conversations with them have been pretty awkward??? Idk if that is just because they are busy but like I don't rly mesh well with either of them. Then there is Michael who literally talks like his username: A Big Blue Robot

someone literally said they were worried that me being so into astrology would influence how i viewed other people and i told them that it wouldn't but the tea is it will, try to stop me

Heya its me. Rookie here on survivor Montenegro. Never played before. Kinda nervous. I'm trying to keep it light and airy with my chats with all the tribe members, because I don't want them thinking I'm trying to create drama too early. They seeeeem to like me and I think I really like them too. Evan kinda has latched on to me, and I like having an easy go to for talking shoppe, but he's super paranoid and thinks he has no shot at this. Even said that everyone else is fully bonding without him. And thats fine of course, I can handle supporting him especially if it seems like a surprise friendship, but his scaredyness might be rubbing off because its making me a little afraid that people are talking shoppe much more than they're letting on with me. Alsooo, low key a tiny bit annoyed with how much we love to call. Like y'all are nice but it seems to be the same person (eyooop) every time and the same person talking in the tribe chat. hehe peace out

hi okie i would've filmed a video confessional, but i look DISGUSTING so you will have to settle with type type typing!

so lots is happening REAL fast and my head hurts so i need to talk it out. We won reward which WOO, and the reuben sandwich also gave me 3 free checks for bridge steps for the idol so GOOD NEWS. I also used it to build trust with Benj & Julia, and told Jared who kind of put me on the spot and asked me about it (more on Jared later).

So I now have my chart to map idol progress titled 'Bridge to Terebeth-idol' and I'm using all the info I get to slowly get an idea of idol progress, the idol is MINE and I'm determined to play it WRONG. otherwise, I'd love to see Benj or Julia get it, love 'em both.

Anywhomst back to Jared. he is VERY forward with game stuff and is like... going 0 to 100 waay too quick, and its making me and Benj nervous. We are both going to keep an eye, I could see Jared burning out quite quick akdlfas. For the rest of the tribe, I really really like Jason he is such a king, Madeline is super nice but I think quite quiet so could potentially go if we lose. Michael is great at challenges, but his social game is a bit ahh (he like.. told Julia she would be a target for making a mistake in the challenge akjsdfaslfladfjla). Noah I really like, but we are kinda out of sync with timezones which is no good. Mitch filled in for me in teh challenge so I owe him bigtime.

ANYWAYS. this is already waay too long, the summary is WOO JULIA AND BENJ, woo (at a slightly lower volume) for Jason and Jared. Love the hosts, loving this game so far, only thing I'm not loving is sandwiches (unless they are reuben sandwiches asjdklfa).

Okay so little recap of the first night on Montenegro Durmitor Beach.... I really felt worried! Like from the first impressions and the intro's I thought okay i have nothing in common with any of these people, this is going to be so hard to get in a safe spot and go far in this game!

After jumping on call with the likes of Jules, Jones, JJ and Mo I felt a little bit safe as they were laughing at some of my jokes and i felt like i could contribute to the conversation which is nice. I really tried my best in this sandwich stacker challenge to show the tribe that i can perform in flash games and help win immunities for future rounds so it gave them a reason to keep me and potentially the stronger players on the tribe would want to add me to an alliance...well i mean that didnt happen but hey who knows its only day 2

So i recognised that JJ was from Tengaged and i had played with him a little bit whilst on that site so i tried to connect with him and make conversation with him and that dramatic little boy decided to drop his vocabulary and use his silly little boy one word responses which wasnt very uhm reassuring. HOWEVER I feel like over the past 2 days JJ and I have formed some sort of bond and i believe its mutual that we want to work together and help each other out in this game. MY ONLY CONCERN about working with JJ is that I dont want to be seen as in a duo with him so him and me need to stop bullying each other on calls and staying on tribe calls when no one else is on them. He helped me out in the idol hunt as well so he is already giving me some information showing he is down to work with me

Okay so overall i feel like my tribe is full of very big personalities and thats concerning a fight will be had for majority i reckon.

Jules: She is so nice, and we connect pretty good, i know she is one bad ass game player though and definitely a threat down the line so keeping her on my side is beneficial for now and hopefully if she does become seen as a target i can use that to my advantage and she can be a meat shield.

Mo: Mo is cool and chill to talk to, we dont really speak that much on pms however i want that to change i get a very loyal vibe from him so yeah something i am willing to explore

Willow & Evan: They both have similar standings with me in this tribe, i feel like they both want to work with me, Evan has said he does and that he gets a good vibe and wants to work with me which is good and i feel like willow is also leaning towards that as well. The only issue with working with these two is they arent very big personalities so i will be targeted before them however i feel like they could be very loyal. Its going to be hard to integrate them into a large alliance unless one of them start because others will be closer to people that isnt them.

Alex: So Alex is a weird one for me, he seems super emotional and honestly someone i just cant really relate to or connect with. I may be wrong but thats my first impression of him, he seems to be all up in Jules/Jones grill which is something i will have to keep an eye out for.

Jones: Jones is a big big big big threat i think everyone on this tribe can already tell this woman will be hard to get out, socially she is impressive and she said she is pretty good at challenges as well so........i'm just going to try and act really dumb around her and make her believe that im willing to work with her till the end as a loyal sheep. However for now i would like to work with her (even though probably everyone does)

David: Well i mean he is like not active very much, he came on call and i have a fear of drag people and he is a drag people so i hope he doesnt rock up to tribal in drag because it is a serious phobia..... wouldnt mind if he went first just because we dont really talk!

JJ: already spoke about him

Caeleb: Everyone is very nice in this cast but i feel like caeleb is a little bit uhh reserved, i feel like hes a little shy at the moment but i think he can be a gem to work and play with. Idk what type of player any of these people are so just gotta test the waters.

All i know is that this tribe is ready to play....and play hard so survivors ready: game on bitches! #STAYLOWANDGOGOGO

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Oh wow this twisty twist twist, hate it!! So anyway now that we have to go to tribal Idk who the heckie to choose to vote! The only people I feel like I have absolutely no connection with so far are Evan and Caeleb, everyone else ive at least talked to a bit?? Jules is cool (also havent talked to her that much) Mo and Jones are the people ive talked to the most so far and I really wanna work with them I think, we will see DREW YOU HAVE MESSED ME UP

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This twist is very fiendish and I love and hate it!! More stress ensuing the more fun for drew hmmm

Anyway, right now I want Madeline gone. I feel she’s not putting her all into this game and in the challenges. Plus she told me she was a returnee but the wiki says otherwise grrrr

For now I think I’m gonna work with Julia and Jason. Might also wanna work with Benji and Ali. Ali is very intuitive because he noticed that it’s important to keep any voting plans under wraps because if word got out of the plan and we’re not actually going to trial, oh hell will be loose!!

So far Julia and Jared are eyeing Madeline as a target and I am here for it! She may have sealed her fate by like going to sleep at this hour but let’s see! She might be faking it lol

Okay fuck you guys for this twist my anxiety is running RAMPANT I know everyone is gonna wanna Vote me for being the youngest I hope you all die and literally choke on your own liver. Anyways my day has been GREAT, thanks for asking!! I feel confident with my comp performance, so hopefully they choose to keep me in?? If not it was nice knowing you guys except Johnny

Oh this- this is terrible. I did so bad on my sandwich tray thing even though at the time I was like IM FUCKIN SPEEDY GONZALEZ WERE GONNA WIN and I scored like 48 but then I find out that everyone else scored somewhere in the 90’s and now it’s just kinda... fuck.

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Blind Tribals? What kind of tomfoolery is this. Im surprised my tribe came up with a consensus of voting off someone this early even though we still have a full 24 hours. I was fully prepared to take charge but I guess I don't have to anymore.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cax7k6-mA-A

^ Video confessional not letting me post tho

So everything has been like a legit clusterfuck and I see this tribes dynamic starting to play out. I think socially I have done my job and excelled. I would say I feel as if I have established a good personal relationship with most of my tribe members except two of them- Madeleine and Michael. Both of them talk very little and it's honestly very frustrating for myself. Not to mention Michael last night sketched me out very bad after we had finished playing the role call part of the immunity. So I had found an error that I had made, and it scared me and I thought I could talk to him about it. I was like, well I hope this doesn't put a target on my back. He responds with this: we can make sure you won't be. will just take some work. Hold the damn phone. It will take some work? Why would it take work period? It just freaked me out so I went to Jason and I told him about it. Jason made me feel more comfortable and I decided to tell him that I trusted him and I was on board with him. So after immunity is done, and the whole blind round twist is revealed I decided to go and talk to basically everyone on the tribe. But Jared stuck out the most to me. He is playing the most aggressive game at this point which I respect. Also, forgot to mention, I trust Ali the most. 100% Ali will be my ride or die person this game. So nothing will come in between the bond we share. Jared decided to throw out Madeleines name out. And I am totally okay with this. He also subtly hinted that Michael would be a good option. But lets be real, I am not a fool and I will not make a big move this first round. This is a tribe of 10 people, not 6 like I'm used too in my prior TS I have played. It is more difficult to rally all the numbers. So this would be the exact reasoning behind my social game I am playing at the moment. I have Jared than tell me he wants to work with Ali, Benj, Himself, and I. This, I can enjoy. I don't have to struggle to protect from this alliance I knew Jared was bound to create, and I didn't have to suggest to include Ali, possibly exposing my relationship with Ali to Jared. On the other hand, I have Ian and Jason who I feel like I can trust in this game. I proposed to Ian I would not vote him out this round, and he said he would do the same for me. I tell Ian that I trusted Jared and we could possibly work with him, and that Madeleines name is being thrown out as the vote. Ian was vague with answering me about working with Jared which sussed me out. But Ian later tells me he wants to work with Jason, Himself and I. So this puts me in TWO potential alliances already in this game. Literally fuck this twist. I am glad my social skills have finally paid off and I am seriously learning from prior mistakes I have made in my orgs from being too abrasive, being too loud, being rude. I had such little self awareness of the way I communicated with people. I would talk and be this extremely social girl but I always left a bitter taste in people's mouth because of how I said things and I had no clue. So I am playing this better game and it is totally opening up new opportunities and all these people I can work with but on the other hand, puts me at a serious disadvantage. If this tribe will be an ultimate flop tribe which I am seriously hoping is NOT the case, I am going to disappoint someone. And that is how you become a target and lose all the hard work you have built up. So even though socially I am totally preforming beautifully compared to my prior three tries at TS, and strategically I wouldn't say anything about that I mean.... it's the first few days of this game. I would say competition wise, or the more physical part of the game I need to get it together. I'm hoping I can motivate this tribe into playing extremely hard for the immunity wins because who freaking knows what could happen? In the best case scenario, I would love for immunity to be brought to my tribe. This would mean that for the next round the target would probably remain the same, and I don't have to get so worked up about who is the new target of the tribe.

https://youtu.be/qsjQtYfiCec <- Video Confessional; Not letting me post

Editors note - I think I’m 80% sure my name’s not going around Bc I think everyone’s under the impression I got us the win for the flag making? Big shrug

Damn this twist has really screwed things. At this point in the game I have some strong (I think) alliances. I'm worried that I have put a target on my back for playing too hard though, and it might be all for not if we find out we won immunity.

https://youtu.be/RR4BRMFKjDU <- Another video confessional that won’t embed lol

What the fuck is this twist like okay sure, tumblr survivor is generally fucking stressful like a pig getting choked im always trying to gasp for air.....this season i am the pig on the spit roast just deceased. I'm a nocturnal pig throughout this game i guess because tribal planning starts like 6 hours ish before tribal and the last 2 hours is the most important and that would be from 4-10am so no sleep for the weak i came to win

https://youtu.be/sarbjplslHk <- Another video confessional that won’t embed

SO I think at the moment my closest allies are Tom & JJ which is a relief because I was intimidated by the two of them at first. The plan for now is to vote for David due to him being the most antisocial out of the bunch. He’s talked to me quite a bit actually but apparently he hasn’t talked to some of the others that much.

The first few days of this game has been really fun. I'm enjoying to get to know everybody, and just dicking off on tribe calls all the time. So far I've really enjoyed looking at Tom & Alex, they're definitely the tribal eye candy.

It seems as though I've gotten myself into a really cute alliance consisting of Alex, Jones, and Jules. A group I've definitely enjoyed talking to the most. I think it'll really work in my favor.

Tom is really fun to talk to, he's giving me truthful information on what planks have been good and bad in the idol search. Which is nice, but it might be a cultural thing, but I can't tell if he likes me or not!?? There's too much sarcasm in his voice.

Mo & Caeleb are really nice, they've both talked to me on a pretty shallow level so far, but I'm enjoying them a lot.

Evan, David, and Willow have been fairly MIA. Evan is on a vacation, so I'm impressed by how much he truly has been able to contribute to the tribe.

As far as the vote goes, I'm debating between Willow, and David. Alex, who I'd really like to work with, really is pushing for David to go home, but David is better at comps, and a less dangerous social player, he hasn't talked to anyone. Whereas Willow is being a social butterfly in everyone's PMs. Seeing that she made runner up in one of her seasons is also a little bit scary.

This twist is scary, but considering my last ORG, its exciting. I felt like my downfall was not being able to forge game relationships with people because I was the last person to attend tribal. Winning every tribal immunity all the way up to the final 13 / 21. Once the merge hit, every time I tried to talk strategy, the person I was talking with would run, and tattle to the person I was trying to target instead of listening to what I was saying, because they had forged game relationships at prior tribal. Being forced to go to tribal regardless of the outcome of immunity should help me solidify game relationships much easier.

I have one question for the twist. WTF DREW???

Right as we found out that both tribes had to go to tribal, Evan was immediately concerned that his name was being thrown out. The boy needs to calm, but I think our connection is really strong and honestly he's fun to talk to. Today though, most people I have been talking to have said David which is perfectly fine, he barely had talked to me at all so I am happy to be a tribe player and vote him tonight if nothing changes. I think people are starting to make connections all around. I really like Willow and have like an on and off thing with Mo and Jules. Tom is the first person to let me in on the vote, and JJ said he'd work with me and not vote me tonight, BUT Tom and JJ and Jones are always in the calls and that's making me nervous they'll have a longterm close bond that could be disastrous if it turns into a Monica, Jervase, Tyson type thing. Also I don't fully trust JJ he's good at talking to everyone. I have my eyes and ears open and I'm just trying to get as much information as I can at this point in the game.

okay I have thoughts and they are 100% NEGATIVE.

so dua lipa cave can CHOKE, i hate this twist so muchhhhh, its gonna give me an aneurysm. I just feel bad, I don't like voting people out and this makes the process so weird and awkward.

Okay like tonight, Madeline is... seemingly going home? And I'm so so sad, she is super sweet, but I think everyone was reluctant to throw out names except Jared who was super, super gung ho about Madeline leaving? Jared is stressing me out akjsldfaf, he is so forward and aggressive as a player, and I can kind of see him burning out and dragging me down with him asdfklaf.

Otherwise, I'm really liking working with Julia, she is super fun and a really savvy player, I hope our alliance can do super good long term! Otherwise, Benj is SUCH A KING, he is so friendly and fun, and we are like really on the same page for game stuff? Those are the only two who its not negotiable, on my watch they are going NOWHERE.

for the rest? I really like Jason, he is just super mellow, like I think if I had to make a winner pick for the season, I'd probably say him? I vibe with him on a personal level woo, could be an ally down the line. Michael I tbh expected to maybe be first boot, but he seems to have unexpected connections! I really like him tho, he is super sweet, its no biggie that he is staying? Mitch/Ian kind of fall into the same category, I really like them but I've not spoken to them... all that much, but I really like them!! Noah I really haven't spoken to too much, and if we do go to tribal tonight, I'd probs want him to go next (Mitch also threw his name out for this round, so it seems I'm not alone on that?).

I feel REALLY REALLY bad about Madeline JKLSADFLSAJFA, like already our tribe is being meninist we do not stan, but also she is so nice. I feel bad and kind of blame Jared for her going grrrr.

Okay I'm gonna wrap this up, hope we don't go to tribal tonight, Madeline stays and we WIN till merge WOO WOO WOOOOOO!

omg also julia is already at #46 for the idol her MIND! i hope she gets it, that'd be iconic. I feel like she must be working with someone to get that far already, maybe Jason? like the host, i need to (nancy) drew and investigate

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRd_z6-ycno <- another non embeded video confessional uwu

Lol idk where this girl came from but Madeline’s a mess.

She vanished after the twist reveal because her “WiFi getting shit down” then suddenly she’s strong arming me to vote Mitch

Sweaty, compared to you I’ve actually interacted with Mitch over the course of this 4 days unlike you.

She claims she’s got Julia, Jason and Noah but I know where they’re really at. If we are going to tribal Madeline’s gone!!

okay tribal is (maybe?) in 6 minutes and I have THOUGHTS:

1. Madeline is make me so nervous, she like says things in the tribe chat and its like AHH idk how to respond, I'm being so obviously shady and its INCREDIBLY clear I voted for her, but idk what to do or say asdkjflsafafjdaf

2. Benj is a king, we are like... on the same page a lot, and someone I wanna go super far with!

3. Madeline gunning for Mitch is weird because... she is targetting him for past placements, when... Ian literally made FTC twice akjsdfslafsa like wut? Also I am screaming at her like saying Mitch isn't denying that she is going home in the tribechat, when she is voting him? I'MMMMMM

4. If I go home, it's been super super fun, and first boot is a cute placement! Benj & Jason have both been first boot before, and I love 'em both, so am joining a great club!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgF_VAczF2g <- Another non embeded video confessional

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