#anyway i got a lot more to say about this but doing it on desktop is literal hell

[spoilmesweetieforficssake]

Not So Single Mom (Part 2)

Okay, so it's been a while, but as someone who likes to write fics on an actual keyboard, having a finger out of action has been a bit of a pain in the ass (as well as in the digit itself).

We're still not healed, but I can just about bend it and if I press the keys lightly not wince too much at how painful it is to type.

But anyway, pity party aside, I've missed writing and I wanted to get at least one of the fics that I have open on desktop a little nearer to completion so...we have a little part 2 of the pregnant reader (the idea for which comes courtesy of a comment from @avabartlett96).

Part 1 here

“You okay, hun?” asks Melissa, her hand finding your shoulder when she finds you still in your classroom come recess. 

You shift in your chair, trying and failing to get comfortable, shrugging off her hand as you do so.  “Just…aches and pains,” you say with a wince.  At least it’s only a half lie. 

“Anything I can do?” she asks, head tilted to the side as she takes you in.

You manage a lopsided smile as you look up at her.  “You do more than enough for me.”

She steps close, cupping your face in her hands.  “Nonsense.  You think of anything, you let me know?  ‘Kay?”

You close your eyes as she presses a kiss to your forehead, fists clenching briefly as you take a deep breath to calm yourself.

*

“Girl!”

You turn at Ava’s call.  It’s nonspecific, but with your head pressed against the cold, concrete wall as you take deep breaths, fanning yourself with the pile of photocopying you had just collected, you figure you look odd enough that she might just have noticed you. 

“You got one hot woman at your beck and call,” is what she follows up with as she approaches.  “Let her help relieve some of that tension!”

“AVA!” you hiss back, immediately straightening up.  “I’m fine!”

“I know you are,” she smirks.  “So go get some!”

“But I’m-“

“Girl, I know what horny looks like and you…”

You scowl up at her, wishing you could deny it. 

*

“Help her relieve any of that tension yet?” asks Ava as she reaches for the sugar.

Melissa frowns at the question, eyebrows furrowing as she looks at the other woman.  “What?”

“Y/N,” says the Principle.

“She said it was just pregnancy aches,” replies the red head, continuing to stir her coffee. 

Ava smirks.  “Oh, she achin’ for something alright.”

*

Melissa doesn’t often dwell on many of the things that Ava says, but she dwells on this.  Spends a lot of her afternoon thinking about it.  If she’s honest, it’s a subject she’s been thinking about for a long time, but you’re both taking things at your pace.  She understands that your body is going through a lot of changes, that your feelings are mercurial at best and though she’s often wondered what it might feel like to do more than kiss you, she doesn’t want to push.  She may not exactly be known for her patience, but when it comes to you, she can always find some.

Walking to your classroom after the final bell, however, she finds Ava’s words still going round in her head.  “Hey,” she smiles from the doorway of your classroom, waiting for you to look up and return her smile before entering.  “You wanna come over tonight?” she asks.  You’d spent a few nights at home recently, and if she’s honest, she’s missed you.  “I could cook?  You could relax?”

She watches as you bite your lip, looking torn.

“Talk to me?” she asks, coming to perch on the edge of your desk. 

Your cheeks flush and you duck your head.

“Hormones?” asks Melissa, watching as you nod quickly.  “Ones that make you not want to cry?”

Again, you nod, your cheeks only becoming a deeper shade of red. 

“Ones that…”

“I’m horny all the damn time!” you hiss, missing the way Melissa’s eyes widen at your sudden admission.  “And it sucks because I don’t want the first time I have sex with you to be because I can’t control myself thanks to this little freeloader.”  Refusing to meet her eyes, you also finally admit what thus far you’ve been too scared to tell her, “And I also don’t want the first time I have sex with you to be when I’m like this…”  You gesture down at your ever-growing bump.

“By this, you mean beautiful?” offers the red head, her voice soft and warm.

You shake your head.  “I’m not beautiful.”

“You are beautiful,” repeats Melissa, shifting from her perch on your desk to squat down next to you, swivelling your chair so she can look up and meet your eyes.  She reaches up to tuck a stray lock of hair behind your ear.  “You are beautiful to me,” she tells you.  “Right now, as you are.”

“Do you have any idea how many times I’ve pictured you between my legs, your eyes looking up at me?  I won’t even be able to see you face with this speedbump in the way.”  You watch as her eyes widen, and gasp.  “I said that out loud, didn’t I?”

“Yeah,” she nods, her voice suddenly a little shaky.  “And don’t you dare try to take it back.”  She rests her hands on your knees, using them to help her stand.  She leans back against your desk, wheeling you on your chair to sit between her legs, reaching out until she can rest her hands comfortably on your bump.  “First, this little Tesoro is very dear to me so let’s not be calling her names.  Second, I’ll wait until you’re ready, but hun, if you’re suffering, let me help.”

You whimper and she leans down to kiss you.  The contact is electric for you and without thinking, you fist your hand in her shirt.

She pulls back, surprised at the ferocity.  “You need it bad, don’t you?”

In answer, you just pull her in and kiss her again.

“Would you be happier at your place or mine?” she asks, the words whispered against your lips as you take moment to catch your breath.

“Yours is closer,” you breathe, blushing at her raised eyebrow.  “Fuck!  Sorry!  It’s not meant to sound like I’m desperate and anything will do.”  You drop your head, finding it easier to speak when you weren’t looking at her kiss bruised lips and flushed face.  The way her chest rises and falls rapidly as she catches her breath only serving to distract you further.  “I’ve been trying to…you know, take the edge off on my own.  It’s only when I think of you that I even get close.”

You feel strong, capable hands cup your cheeks, forcing you to look up and meet her brilliant green eyes.  “How about you let me show you what the real live version can do?”

#melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti

[posallys]

ok 1 ur desktop theme is GORG and 2 i need (if u wanna) ur thoughts about the show (or show sally in gen bc ur the only one i trust with her)

thank you!! i was actually thinking about updating it but maybe i wont 🤭🤭 and i have a lot of thoughts about the show except none only very few of them are good and i will be crucified by the 13-year-olds

im going to tell you anyway.

i will start with something i like....percy being angry. like yes give me the anger of a 12 year old who feels utterly alone in the world and doesn't understand (or does and it makes him more angry)

the fight scenes are dog shit. the only kind of cool one was in the arch but it was only cool because of percy doing the bait and switch and falling through the arch...the fights are bland boring sucky whatever other synonym you wanna use

uhhhhh sally jackson is not and would never be sitting in the rain pining of the god she told to leave....and especially not to teen pop...if she WERE going to act like a 16 year old and do the pining thing it would be to fucking like...billy joel and ricky martin and donny hathaway and stuff llike that okay...

i will preface this by saying that yes i understand that talking back to an abuser the way sally does in ep 1 doesn't make the abuse less abusive....however i DO not like the fact that that scene explicitly goes against sally characterization in the books....i am not digging my book out atm but the part where percy is like "my mother has never raised her voice or said an unkind word to anyone"....me thinks the writers all read the books 10 years ago and are going off of memory alone + or their brains are so clouded by the obsessive Big Screen Need to make women a badass girlboss slay queen i fucking hate it here

LET ANNABETH BE SILLY AND FUNNY AND CUTE AND CRY AND NOT BE AN ADULT THANK YOU....hated that they made annabeth the one to realize that it was medusa and not grover...give me back grover having to wrangle percy and annabeth into backpack leashes just to keep them on task/stop them from wandering off...book trio i miss you

i absolutely ADORE leah, walker, and aryan though the three of them are so so perfect, A+ casting no notes couldn't have done it better myself. if it weren't for the three of them i would have zero hope for the show i cannot lie...they're carrying. without them it's just..bad.

the pacing???? bad.

why did we waste half of the 4th ep on the train with echidna...stupid dumb pointless i hate it here

i do like the whole not all monsters are monsters and the gods aren't inherently good just because they're gods thing they've got going on though...very inch resting...silently hoping that they do a complete 180 and have percy side with luke and redo the series from there because that would be iconic as fuck <3 a girl can dream because at least then i could take the show at face value and not take 80 health damage every time they mess up a key part of the books...im at -29834 heath rn.

where was the time at chb before the quest??? the oh so important vital scene where luke teaches percy to sword fight???? like BRO that's soooooooooooo important to ME how could you get rid of that

not having annabeth show percy around camp

additionally, not having annabeth feed him the nectar and ambrosia, WHICH BY THE WAY they haven't even mentioned in the show yet...plot armor gone rip

not the fredrick chase sympathy while simultaniously blaming the woman...........rick when i get my hands on you...

annabeth having to EARN thalia's love??? absolutely not probably one of their biggest fuck ups fr.

the scene where sally is talking about Poseidon to percy...i do not like it sam i am. bad. not wistful enough not longing enough not sad enough not gut wrenching enough...also not completely here for sally telling percy that his dad was a god because....sallys whole thing was NOT telling him in order to keep him safe...i know they changed it in the show so sally knew he was going to camp immediately but that does not mean i have to like it

the scene with sally and percy in the pool. i hated everything about that. sally would never talk to percy like that never talk to him about money never make it seem embarassing NOT TO MENTION that percy simply wasn't scared of the water. that's stupid as fuck. theres a part in the book where percy literally says being by the water calms both him and his mom like...come the fuck on just admit you can't fucking read or at least didn't read the book.

sally annabeth get behind me so they cant hurt you anymore

i did loveeeee percy praying to sally though...absoutely insane and true of them. also the "I AM SALLY JACKSON'S SON" yesss baby you tell them about your mommy!!!!!!

them making athena moa level bad in tlt is quite interesting. setting up annabeth siding with percy pretty well.

also the whole impertinence thing over medusa's head was weird to me. when annabeth first said that i had immediately thought that annabeth's impertinence was telling percy to pray to poseidon IN ATHENA'S TEMPLE bc that made much more sense to me...but whatever

the annabeth/medusa parallel is intriguing at the very least

the underwater scene with the neraid was cool even though i hated the parallel to the pool scene w/ sally.

the dumbass pinecone fate line. 0/10 did you read the book? did you pay attention to how empathetic and reflective percy was when he found out about thalia?

honestly....i think disney was just the wrong place to go with this show because it's like what...pg? it should be pg 13 and should have more... sustenance.

this medusa was so cool though. which we could've seen a fight.

i need to know how many women are in the writer's room though...because It Does Not Look Good. funny how the characters that they're fucking up are all women....crazy. weird. totally coincidental.

are we just not going to talk about the vitality and pressure of getting the bolt back on time? where is the inherent inevitable danger, the suspense, the fear of not accomplishing a seemingly impossible talk looming over everything

this is 10000% not all of my thoughts but im not going to rewatch in order to collect them all so this is what you get xoxox

#taylor answers #ask tag #anon #pjo tv #pjo tv crit #pjo show #percy jackson and the olympians #percy jackson

[jakowskis]

torchwood fanfic resources

so i'm a chronic livejournal archaeologist, and fixating on 2000s media is particularly fun for me because it means i get to go digging on lj / dw / old fanfic forums. below you'll find some of the excavations from my torchwood fixation (give it up for month 6!) it's pretty much got every comm i've ever stumbled upon and found useful, or thought others would find useful. it's largely fanfic-oriented, though there's some more generalized comms, too. i hope you guys enjoy!

i was originally going to include a link to my reclist on this post as well, but it's still a wip, so i'll just post that separately in the future.

general disclaimer: most of the content here is from 2006-2013 or so. period-typical attitudes may pop up in places. i'm not sure if most modern tw fans have witnessed the original fandom at all, but i felt a need to say this anyway, because i've seen some icky stuff. i've warned for anything notable. gwen bashing in particular may unfortunately pop up in some of these comms, especially in the comments, so tread carefully.

if you're new to probing through old lj comms, remember to always have the wayback machine on hand, because you're going to run into a lot of purged accounts and seemingly lost fics, but sometimes you get lucky and something's been archived :)

as of the date i'm posting this, all of these comms are still accessible, but if you're from the future and some have been deleted, again, go ahead and give the wayback machine a try. additionally, livejournal has a system that includes 'cross-posting' in which, if authors choose to (and the majority of them do, to get their fics more visibility), fics get posted to multiple comms at once. so chances are, even if one comm gets deleted, the contents will survive through other comms. kind of like how reblogs continue to exist even when the original blog is deleted.

finally, ctrl + f is your best friend if you have a specific ship/character/trope you're invested in, especially in comms with less than ideal tagging systems. if a comm does have a substantial tagging system, you can find all of its tags by adding '/tags' the end of the urls i've provided.

ok... let's begin :-)

assorted livejournal communities

✎ torch-wood: this is essentially a torchwood subreddit. it started before the show even aired, and one of the highlights of it is episode reaction posts (easily accessible on the right side of the lj) that document how everyone immediately reacted to the eps, which is pretty damn cool, fandom-history wise. only thing i should mention is there's quite a lot of gwen and owen bashing in the comments of some of those reaction posts, so just be wary of that if you love those two like i do, 'cuz it's a bit of a bummer.

✎ torchwood-three: this comm is an extremely cool then-daily newsletter (that still updates sometimes?!) that compiled as much fan-content as it could find into cleanly organized lists. the posts made immediately after new episodes aired contain reactions, discussions, meta, theories, new fic, fanmixes, just about everything. very very cool to go back and see the way the fandom was thinking as the show was airing and as they were getting to know the characters. here's a direct link to all posts made in late 2006, during the airing of s1.

✎ torchwood-fic: exactly what it says on the tin. desktop layout is easy to navigate, tags are all there!

✎ torchwood-fic's profile page also features a list of affiliated accounts that's pretty handy. it's worth taking a peek at, in case i've excluded anything in this post that you might be interested in.

✎ twgenrefinders: handy dandy comm where people would ask for fics of a certain variety & be treated with reclists, or hyper-specific fics... pretty cool stuff, ive got several threads bookmarked to sort through the links later. ofc, please note that some of the things people asked for might be stinky. particularly i've seen a lot of ppl requesting gwen bashing fics :/

✎ twstoryfinder: cousin to the above comm; here, people would ask for a very specific fic they'd lost. it's kind of fun to find fics through because you get someone describing memorable scenes + hyping it up, so it's different than just a standard summary. this one still gets posted on, too, which is crazyyy.

✎ tw-unpaired: for gen fics! no romance allowed! there's some good character studies + friendship fics in there. stuff's tagged by character + authors are even tagged, in case you find one whose writing you particularly enjoy. this is v useful for when someone's main journal has been deleted.

✎ torchwood-decaf: a comm where janto is BANNED. nah i'm kidding, it's not anti-janto, it was just made because janto is so huge that it overshadows everything else. pretty smart, tbh; wading through the sheer mass of janto content can be tiresome.

✎ jack-in-cuffs: for dark tw fic, or uber smutty tw fic. as a fan of dark!fic, there's some goodies in here, but of course it's not everyone's cup of tea. most of the writers included warnings, but if you go a little further back, some people weren't as courteous; navigate with caution.

✎ jack-owen: for fic featuring our captain and his (second favorite) doctor. i know this pairing's kinda divisive nowadays, but i enjoy it a lot. the comm's got a dismal tagging system and, ngl, i don't truly like any of the fics there (i'm very intrigued by jack and owen's relationship but i've never found fic that really does them justice, and i still haven't figured out how to write them myself) - but i'll include it anyway.

✎ odetojoi: for fic featuring owen in the middle of a janto sandwich, for those of us who are allergic to women (/sarcasm). there's an oddly impressive supply of fics of the three of them, and a good chunk of them can be found in this comm. (everytime i see this comm i think of a certain abbreviation found in p/rnogr/phy... but i digress)

✎ halfwee-and-tea: for ianto x owen fic. haven't gone through this one much, truthfully. i hate when comms have no tagging systems agh.

✎ owenharper-fans: a comm for the saddest undeadest bisexualest doctor around. also features a few burn appreciation posts, which is nice to see pre-pac rim era. mostly just features a shit ton of owen fic, particularly owen x ianto fic. mostly sufficiently tagged. if you need me once i post this, btw, i will be balls deep in this comm.

✎ the pro-owen alliance: another owen-focused comm - i think this one was made directly in response to owen bashing. haven't combed through this one much but it's got a fair amount of fics.

✎ house-of-cooper: a gwen comm! made in response to gwen bashing. haven't gone through it, but i'm glad it exists.

✎ tw-femficfest: a comm for fic about any and all of the torchwood ladies. tagging's cleanly done & there's some handy fic round ups, too.

✎ tw-classic: a comm for 'all things series one and two of torchwood'. was made after s3 and was popular around s4 out of nostalgia for the golden age <3 good amount of fic, discussions, etc.

✎ torchwood-house: this comm is, like, letterboxd, but for torchwood fanfic. basically a group of individuals who thought of themselves as having Good Taste would read Good Fic and then go in this comm and write a post about why they recommend it. it's well-made, easy to scroll through, and sells the fics v well, and it kinda gets you more excited to read them when you get to see someone hype them up with Fancy Words. it's like a little torchwood yaoi bookclub. we're eating quiche

✎ tw100: a drabble challenge; this thing's full of 100 word drabbles. ngl i hate drabbles but i'm throwing it in here anyway

✎ touchyerwood: i love kink memes... i love kink memes less when my favorite character/pairing is unpopular. the pac rim kink meme's been a blessing bc i'm a basic ass newmann - the torchwood kink meme? not so much. it's got a fair amount of shit, though, so maybe someone else will appreciate it. this one isn't the original, that one's been wiped off the internet, to my chagrin. keep in mind before digging that people in kink memes are horny & gross. that's your warning.

✎ reel-torchwood: for any and all movie aus... ok i have a bone to pick with this comm. i'm a big movie nerd, i love film, i've seen dozens of films i've thought would make good aus - i combed through this and there is not a SINGLE fic in there that piqued my interest. NOTHING. needless to say my disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined. i'm sure my experiences aren't universal though.

✎ torchwoodslash: ah, remember when we called it slash? gee whiz. i'm not big on this comm, it's not very user friendly + there's like no tags whatsoever so it's extremely hard to navigate. enter at your own risk & good luck, lol.

✎ rounds-of-kink: this isn't a torchwood-exclusive comm, but it's got a sizeable torchwood tag, which can be found here. pretty organized tagging system; makes me happy.

✎ tw-declassified: this comm was mainly used for running a 'torchwood bingo', which, i've been in other fandoms that do episode bingos and it's usually cute... this one confused me a little so i didn't bother peeking around too much, but still a cool little bit of fandom history.

✎ writerinadrawer: this was an annual torchwood writer's challenge that ran for four years... it's kinda hard to navigate but it does have some fic in it so i'm putting it here.

✎ dmarley-recs: a recs journal someone ran for compiling torchwood fic; it's got a l o t of recs on there, largely jack/ianto.

ok and straying from lj briefly for two other places to find fic...

✎ kink_bingo: this is a dreamwidth comm, and it's not torchwood-exclusive, so i've linked straight to the torchwood tag. this comm has a livejournal equivalent, but for some reason the tw tag is pretty barren on that one? not sure why. but on dw it's got a fair amount. the tagging system is rough, it tags fandom and kink but not pairing, which is irritating, and every post is hidden under a cut AND makes you go through a discretion barrier every single time (but probably only if you don't have an account? i'm not logged in) which makes navigation a pain. but i dunno, more smut, if you want it.

✎ whofic.com: this site is for doctor who fic, but it's got a very substantial amount of torchwood fic. i do not, however, like the formatting at all. i'm being overly nice; i HATE the formatting. it's very reminiscent of fanfic dot net but, like, worse. it reminds me of adultfanfiction dot org which was a NIGHTMARE to use. but! there is torchwood fic there so it's going in here.

aaaand there we go! that's all i have. i hope these prove handy! enjoy :D

#torchwood #torchwood posting #mine #txt

[chikkou]

ok i was waiting until my laptop got here to finally tell all the bullshit thats happened in the last like. 5 months lol. cause its a lot to type

im gonna put it all under the cut so no one has to read if they dont want. its a LONG fucking story.

tl;dr:

ok so for basic background, for the last two years or so, i was living with a roommate in connecticut. the roommate was my (now former) best friend since middle school. in july of this year his behavior totally shifted, and he started picking fights with me out of nowhere, told our high school friends a bunch of straight up lies abt me to make me look like a horrible roommate & person, and just generally became a two-faced dickhead. in the end, it turned out to all be excuses to justify his decision to move out (unofficially, name was still on the lease) so that he could live with his boyfriends and not pay any bills. at the time i was really devastated by this bc i felt totally betrayed by this person i had been close to since i was 12/13, but frankly after everything else that happened i barely fucking think about it now LMAO. this is set dressing more than anything else

so anyway, i had been living alone since about august, that was the last time i saw him in person. i wasnt handling the situation well because i had spoken to my high school friend and found out the extent to which hed tried to paint me as a slovenly, horrible roommate, to the point of telling actual lies about really dumb stuff (which didnt work btw - my friends, god bless them, were more concerned about my mental health than anything and thought i was going down a depression spiral, which my former friend told them he was helping me through. they believed me right away once we finally did talk). all that is to say, i was going kind of crazy lol, and i decided to go back home in october just for a short while, to recharge my batteries and all.

i was gone for a couple of weeks, not very long. i felt MUCH better after being with my family & friends in person, as i felt pretty isolated from everyone (my hometown is in new york, i was only 2 hours away by train but scheduling times to visit was sort of a hassle, so i only did it once every couple months). my grandfather and mom dropped me off at my apartment in early november, we were very lighthearted and discussing my next steps, since my shithead friend had been behind on rent more than 5 times (i always paid my half on time) and i was facing eviction because of it. we get to my apartment, i go to open the door, and it wont open. not that its locked, it just straight up WONT open. my grandpa tried to ram the door with his shoulder, and nothing. hes a strong ass dude, and this door wouldnt budge for anything.

my mom managed to get the kitchen window open and climb in that way, and it took both her and my grandpa pulling/pushing at the same time to force the door open. i wont even dress this up: there was mold. fucking. everywhere. on the floor, on the walls, all over everything i owned. i have pictures (had to take them for insurance) and im not even going to show them because they are beyond fucking disgusting. everything i owned was soaked in water and mold, and i do literally mean EVERYTHING. it was very warm in there too, like the temperature of a swamp. i was in a haze after that. i just remember sobbing, like genuinely heartbroken sobbing, as i wandered around looking at everything that was ruined. my mom & grandpa had to go and get maintenance because i was just utterly useless, and they were equally horrified & said they'd never seen anything like it.

i managed to save some items that were irreplaceable (journals, notebooks, etc) and whatever clothes werent utterly soaked in mold. all of my cookware, my books, my laptop & desktop (i cried the hardest when i saw the desktop) - it was all ruined. we found out later that the water boiler in my apartment had a catastrophic failure while i was gone, which caused it to constantly send water back through the pipes, empty, and refill itself. my bedroom was directly above the boiler downstairs, so it got the most significant amount of damage. all told, i lost like 95% of the things i owned. it is possible that i could have saved more, but the amount of mold in that apartment made it a genuine safety hazard for me to even be in there, so i had very limited time to grab what i could. the cruelest irony of all that? my shithead ex-friend's room, which was on the other side of the hallway, was pretty much untouched. he lost absolutely nothing lol.

so immediately, i had to leave the state. i moved back to ny with my family. my mother - who had a stroke last year following a diagnosis of an exceedingly rare neurological disorder, AND had two separate brain surgeries to improve her quality of life - was in the process of getting evicted. the landlord didnt give a fuck about any of my moms situation, not her being disabled, not her being widowed, not her having 3 kids under the age of 18 to care for - he just wanted her out so he could increase the cost of rent on our house. at the same time as all this was going on, i got saddled with a $600 electric bill (likely caused by the water heater's malfunction), which neither insurance nor the apartment would pay, so it came out of my pocket. in addition, i found out in december that i was also getting laid off.

we had nowhere to go and couldnt afford to live anywhere in the tri-state area. we had no choice but to move somewhere much cheaper, and since my mom already had a friend living in a mid-atlantic state, we chose to move there. the eviction went through in january and we had less than 2 weeks to pack all our shit, find a place to live, and get the fuck out. needless to say, we were not successful lol.

we stayed in my grandparents 1 bedroom apartment for about a week, then all of us drove down together to stay with my moms friend in her 3 bedroom apartment (she has 5 kids, 3 of whom live in the apartment). my moms apartment, which was supposed to have been ready by january 31st, still had people actively living there. the property manager kept promising us it would be next week for the entire month of february, to the point that my mom got fed up and chose to rent a small house instead. the reality of being essentially homeless for that time was beyond horrifying, and having anywhere between 8-10 people in that house (my cousin also moved with us, but he stayed in a hotel for the first week) was more taxing than i can express.

but things have gotten a lot better since then. i also found a cute little house to rent just up the road from my moms, and its very cheap for its size. i still havent found a job yet, but thanks to what was essentially the liquidation of everything i owned, ill be ok for a couple months more. im slowly but surely repurchasing all the things i lost and trying to acclimate to the new environment. things are still not totally stable right now, but they are slowing down, and at this point thats all i can really ask for lol.

so yeah. if u were wondering why i suddenly stopped posting after literal years of posting every day, thats why LMAO

#dark lord saltine #ik this is a massive overshare but fuck it #lifes been fucking hard lol #i have legit been saying ''everything happens so much'' since this all kicked off lmao #its sort of the family motto at this point

[answrs]

Readmores And You - A Really Great Tumblr Feature!

(this is technically directed at stuff I've seen in a specific tag because of the content of said tag makes it more likely to spoiler things, but it applies to anyone likely learning the ins and outs of a new site. speaking of which, hello! welcome to tumblr!) (this got. longer than anticipated. apologies, I get bogged down in trying to make things as clear as possible. ^^")

I've seen this a lot recently in the VC tags especially, where the post goes something to the effect of "tw bloody animal!" then like six periods and the images of whatever dead thing the post is about.

I recognize this is probably being carried over from some other website (...reddit probably? maybe insta?) but please. I appreciate y'all so much for trying to do what you're doing. but this method of hiding pictures isn't effective on tumblr, but there is an infinitely better option!

"but why? it works fine on other sites?" firstly, a few extra lines typically don't even take up enough space on mobile (let alone desktop) to hide your pics, so even at a glance anyone is likely still seeing at least the top half of whichever picture you posted before even noticing the trigger warning on top. second, because you have to scroll all the way past the images at the bottom of your post anyway to get to the next one on your dash/in the tag/etc. so if someone comes across your post and the trigger warning is applicable as something they want to avoid, unless they have access to a keyboard to use a keybind shortcut that ive been here 12 years and still cant remember, they can't see any other posts after it without either having to scroll through the pics or outright block you. which is... not the most ideal of options I would say.

"but what else am I supposed to do then!?" I hear you ask.

READMORES!

tumblr has a wonderful feature known as a "readmore" that's built into the site! it creates a break in your post, which hides any content - be it words, images, whatever - that you place underneath it, not showing it unless the person viewing it clicks on the words "keep reading" (formerly "read more" - hence the name :D).

Cool, how do I do that?

on mobile you can place one by tapping an empty line and clicking the grey squiggle icon from the selection that allow you to insert an image/vid/link

which will place a squiggly line into the post you're making:

(desktop uses the same icon, it's just in a more compact row of icons.)

you can drag it around after placing it too, just like photos. (note: mobile can get finicky with this and it's usually just easier to remove it -click the big red X- and add it in the new place you want it.)

EDIT: some of the versions of mobile editor are broken and don't show the icons. to add it in manually type ":readmore:" (with the colons, but not the quotation marks) on its own line. Thank you for the reminder, LovingTogetic!

this is also a nice way to keep your blog tidy and not swamped in long and/or spoilery posts (say if you're posting 5k word fics, or extensive meta, or gushing over the ending of the latest game or TV show most people probably haven't seen yet)! it's not required, obviously, but it's generally considered a common courtesy for others that will be seeing your post cross their dashboard.

finally, an example of the readmore in action:

(ta-da!)

have fun out there y'all, I hope this is helpful ^^

as an aside (I wasn't sure where to put this but under the break seemed appropriate), you may also see a lot of personal/vent posts be fully under readmores as well, even if the post is only a sentence or two long. this is mostly so followers don't necessarily see it unless they specifically click, but there's a more frustrating history to it becoming a thing: when a post is reblogged, any content above the break is permanently frozen as it existed at the time, but anything under it will reflect edits made to the post. while not common, a certain type of user sometimes browse the various "do not rb" tags and will purposefully reblog personal posts in order to upset and distress the users. putting those things under a readmore make it so even if that happens, the text can be deleted from all iterations of the post. recently the site rolled out an option to lock a post to reblogs, but you gotta mess with the settings and it's mostly a habit after a decade here dealing with the nonsense.

#tumblr guide #hope it's okay to tag i'll remove if asked but #vulture culture #how to #tumblr how to #readmores #tumblr how-to

[snelbz]

‘Til Death Do Us Part {Chapter Eighteen}

Elorcan. Rockstar Modern AU.

@snelbz x @theladyofdeath collab.

‘Til Death Do Us Part Masterlist

A/N: Sorry for the long wait between chapters. Tara and I dove headfirst into Zodiac Academy, reading every single book back to back to back, and then she came to town and we spent time together instead of writing. On top of that, I no longer have a desktop to post off of, so I have to do so at work once all of my other responsibilities have been completed. Enjoy and please let us know what you think!

This chapter is 18+.

WC: 4506

Elide —

I wake up to a barbaric elbow digging into my side. Apparently I found Lorcan’s shoulder a lot more comfortable than I had originally intended because I notice the airplane is descending. He’s looking down at me, grinning, and pointing to the side of my mouth.

“You, uh…got a little drool…”

My hand flies up to my mouth but it’s perfectly dry and I narrow my eyes as I shove him and lift my head from his shoulder. He laughs quietly, his hand coming to rest on my thigh.

We left a little after ten this morning and I honestly have no idea what to expect. Since everything had been going amazingly between us for the last month, we decided we should finally take our honeymoon.

Lorcan suggested Skull’s Bay, which is apparently some boujee island resort but I was kind of put off by the name. Lorcan, of all people, would try to scare his wife by bringing her to some horror themed island or amusement park for our honeymoon.

I prayed to the gods that this was not the case.

I’m not a fan of flying so I took something to calm me down just before we boarded. Apparently it worked too well because I didn’t remember a damn thing from the flight in.

“We’ll land in about ten minutes,” Lorcan promised, his voice now gentle. “I promise the long plane ride will be worth it.”

I smile as I rest my head against his shoulder once again. He holds onto me until the airplane touches the ground. 

There are certainly advantages to being married to a rockstar. One of those advantages is first class seats on a six hour flight. I would’ve had no problem fitting in one of the economy class seats, but my six-foot-four husband? His knees would have been in his chest the whole time. Instead, we’re stretched out in our pod, his long legs comfortable crossed at the ankle.

As soon as we get off the plane, I can feel the heat settle into me in a way it hadn’t in Orynth. Our bags take a bit to come out, but then we’re being greeted by a man holding a sign that says Salvaterre.

“This actually happens,” I ask, squeezing Lorcan’s hand as we approach our driver. “I thought that was just in movies. You must be super important.”

He gives me an exasperated look, one he’s started using when I drag him for being too rich and needing to come back down to earth.

He shakes our driver’s hand and introduces himself and then we’re on our way. It’s about a thirty minute drive to the resort and as soon as we see the entrance, I’m glaring at Lorcan.

“It looks scary,” I say, pointing to the skulls decorating the sign.

“Baby, it’s called Skull’s Bay,” he chuckles, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. “There’s going to be some skulls.”

“It’s zombie pirates, isn’t it?” I chance a look out the window, but see nothing but the ocean and white sand. “That’s what the theme is. It’s gonna be like that Scooby Doo movie from the nineties.”

He laughs quietly as he shakes his head. “Pirates maybe, not sure about the zombie part.” He meets my eye. “I promise nothing will jump out at you, alright? Not intentionally, anyway.”

Well that’s not exactly comforting. 

As we pull up to the massive hotel I must admit that it’s beautiful. Situated right on the beach, it has multiple pools and spas and bars. It’s a mile walk away from all the touristy spots which, even though I’m still slightly scared of the island, I really wanna visit. 

If I thought the outside of the hotel was beautiful, the inside is spectacular. I’ve never stayed somewhere so nice. My travels usually include a sketchy motel, not a five star island resort. I’m suddenly nervous, which seems silly. 

“What do you think?” Lorcan asks when we step into the elevator. 

“I’m anxious to know what our room looks like,” i confess. “I’m suddenly scared to touch anything.”

He chuckles before correcting, “Suite.”

I blink. “What?”

“We booked a suite, not a room. If you’re going to be traveling like the rich and famous, like myself, you have to have the terminology right. Come on now.”

He’s teasing me.

I roll my eyes and jab him in the side but he catches my hand and pulls me closer to him.

The past month has been one of the best of my life. It seems that Yrene was right and sex really was the piece that was missing from our relationship. Lorcan has been…insatiable. His desire for me was something I attributed to his need for the physical, but it’s less about him and more about me every time we’re together. I’ve had more orgasms in the past few weeks than I have in my entire life, and most of the time, he doesn’t even get inside me.

We’ve only had sex twice since then, and both times were amazing, but Lorcan’s main priority has been me. Whether it’s his fingers, tongue, or teeth on me, I always plan to touch him after he’s finished, only to be swept away in a mind-blowing orgasm.

But we’re on our honeymoon. This is a trip that’s meant for sex and I plan on having a lot of it. Right now, for instance, as soon as we get to our rooms.

If my girl parts aren’t crying for a break by the end of this week, something is wrong.

Lorcan unlocks our door after we’ve reached our suite on the top floor of the hotel. He opens the door and my jaw drops.

While the rest of the hotel is decorated like a pirate’s paradise, this room looks like the inside of a treasure chest. Everything is decorated in rich, jewel tones, silver and gold accents are peppered throughout the room, and it’s absolutely gorgeous.

Our bags are already waiting in the bedroom and Lorcan goes straight for his, digging out his vape, thanking the gods for portable tobacco. I ignore him and take a walk around the rest of the suite. There’s a rustic feel to the room, despite its opulence, thanks to the distressed wood on the walls.

This place is practically a second home. It has multiple televisions, a washer and dryer, and a fully stocked bar. There’s a full kitchen, a fireplace, two love seats in the living room, a jacuzzi in the corner of the bathroom, plus a massive walk-in shower. It has a bench and suddenly, I have the urge to ride Lorcan under the spraying water. I’ve never been on top during sex, so I don’t know why it’s my first thought when I see it.

By the time I exit the bathroom, my husband is nowhere to be found. “Lor?”

The suite is massive, but I couldn’t have lost him in here.

I start having flashbacks to the day after our wedding. He hadn’t left then, and I highly doubt he’d leave me now. We were in Orynth then, twenty minutes from home. Now? We’re on an island, hours from home, away from the mainland.

I finally find him on the private balcony off our bedroom, facing the ocean. His phone is pressed to his ear, his hand on his hip, and he looks tense. I want to go out and rub his shoulders, to help him relax, but I don’t want to interrupt.

So instead, I decide to surprise him.

Aelin helped me shop for this trip, since my first try at lingerie was a dismal failure. The scratchy, white number I’d bought for the wedding had been cheap and it showed. It also hadn’t really been my style. I skipped on the white this time, despite knowing it was bridal lingerie. Something told me Lorcan would prefer black or red. Both colors ooze sex and sinful seduction. Armed with my husband’s gold card, I bought a few new sets that were much softer, much nicer, and fit my body a hell of a lot better.

I really hope Lorcan likes them.

I also bought a couple swimsuits, seeing as I’d owned the same one since high school, and I pull one out of my bag and toss it on the dresser, knowing we’ll end up at the beach sooner rather than later. 

Looking at the doors to the balcony, I see that Lorcan has started pacing. I reach back down into my bag, gently running a finger over the black lace of one of the bra and panty sets I bought.

I could put it in now. After his phone call, I could be ready and waiting for him, like a gift to be unwrapped.

Or I could already be unwrapped.

The sliding glass door opens and I drop the lingerie as Lorcan steps in. 

So much for my sexy surprise.

“Sorry, that was our manager. Ro and I sent what we’ve written for the new album to the record label last week and things are kind of in limbo right now.” He sees my suit on the dresser and claps his hands, rubbing them together. “But fuck that and fuck anymore phone calls, because we’re on our honeymoon. Hell, yeah, baby, let’s go to the beach.”

Beach…not bed.

I try not to let my disappointment show but he doesn’t notice. He’s too busy undressing and searching for his swim shorts. I can’t help but admire his ass as I put on my own suit. He turns as I’m tying my top and he grins as he walks toward me. “Here, let me help.” I drop my hands as he takes the ties and ties a bow at my back. “You look sexy as hell in this.”

My cheeks still heat when he tells me things like that. I turn, fingers brushing his lower abdomen, just above the band of his shorts. “You look pretty damn good yourself.”

His eyes flare and he leans down to kiss me. For a moment I think he’ll toss me on the bed and ravage me, but then he pulls back, smacks my ass and says, “Let’s go.”

He’s taking my hand and we’re out the door.

The beach is beautiful and we have our own little secluded spot. The sand is soft and warm beneath my toes and the sound of the waves brings me peace. I’ve never gone swimming in the ocean but the idea of sharks terrifies me. It would be kind of a shitty honeymoon if I become shark food.

Lorcan, always reading my mind, asks, “Wanna go for a swim?”

I hesitate. “In the water?”

A humored brow lifts. “That’s the general idea, yeah.”

My bottom lip somehow gets sucked between my teeth. “I don’t know, Lor, it seems dangerous.”

This time he flat out laughs. “We’re staying in shallow water, nothing will get you. And I’ll be right beside you the whole time. Come on. Live a little. Let that beautiful hair of yours down.”

Ugh. I can’t say no to that.

He takes my hand and leads me down the sand towards the water. I stop just before the waves can brush my toes.

“Is it cold?” I ask.

“One way to find out.” He winks and runs into the water like he’s five before diving beneath the surface. When he comes up, he shakes his hair, sending water everywhere. “Fuck! Yeah…yeah, it’s cold.”

I laugh, thinking he’s completely adorable and idiotic all at once. Shaking my head, I turn back towards our towels. “I think I’ll pass if it’s cold. Maybe if it—”

I scream as Lorcan grabs me from behind, water dripping off him, and carries me towards the waves. “Oh, no, you’re getting in with me.”

I squirm and squeal until he drops me in the water, just as unceremoniously as he’d gone in, and I push my long hair out of my face as I come back up. It’s not nearly as cold as he made it out to be, though the wind does chill the parts not submerged.

Glaring up at him, I put my hands on my hips, which is completely ineffective at showing off my sass since I’m under water from them waist down.

Something tells me Lorcan picks up on it though, as he takes my hand and pulls me deeper into the water. I hesitate and he reminds me, “Nothing is going to get you.” To prove it, he tugs on my hand until he’s lifting me, wrapping my legs around his waist. “I’ve got you.”

“I trust you,” I whisper, my lips inches from his as he goes out farther and farther into the water.

He smirks, kissing me. “Good girl.”

It’s up over his chest now, so I know I wouldn’t be able to touch the bottom at this point. There’s also no one else out this far, everyone else is farther down the beach, nowhere near us, and—

One of Lorcan’s fingers slips under the edge of my bikini bottom, brushing the lips of my sex. Gasping softly, I look up at him, eyes bright. His gaze is already on me and his finger is teasing my entrance. “Do you have any idea how sexy you look in that little bikini?”

I shake my head, trying not to whimper as he pushes in to his first knuckle. He pulls it out, sliding it back in, repeating the shallow motion over and over.

“Really?” His lips are by my ear and I’ve got my arms wrapped around his head in a vice lock. “‘Cause you’re soaked for me already, so I think you do.”

“We’re in the ocean,” I say, trying to keep my voice even as he slips his finger in deeper. “Everything is soaked.”

“Oh, baby,” he murmurs and his tongue traces the shell of my ear. “If you think I can’t tell the difference between the water and how wet your pussy is, you’re wrong.” His lips trail down my neck. “You’re so wet, I bet you could take all of my cock in one stroke.”

“Then do it,” I murmur, tipping my head to the side to give him better access. Please, gods, do it.

He adds a second finger, no longer teasing me, pumping them in and out. My hips move of their own accord. His mouth is back at my ear and I can hear the smile on his lips. “Not yet, baby. You think I can’t see how bad you want it?”

“Lorcan…” My voice is strained, my orgasm building far quicker than I expected it to. We may not be close to anyone, but we’re on a packed beach, at a resort, and my husband is finger fucking me in the ocean.

It turns me on in a way I was not expecting.

“Tease,” I mutter and his laugh is deep and sensual. My fingers weave their way into his hair and tug. His moans, the sound muffled against my neck. He adds a third finger and my legs began to shake around him.

“Yeah, baby,” he breathes and nips at my neck. “Cum for me.”

It’s a demand that I have no problem fulfilling. 

My body grows tense as I cum, but he helps me ride it out until I’m breathing heavily and going limp in his arms. I can feel how hard he’s become in his shorts and all I can think about is getting him inside of me.

I lean back and kiss him.

It’s reckless, it’s rough and he instantly melts into it. His hands are gripping my ass, his tongue sliding into my mouth. With the slightest of movements, his hips thrust into mine.

“Lor,” I whisper, although it can hardly be heard above the waves crashing against the shore, he hears me. His eyes meet mine and his pupils are so big that they’re nearly all I can see. “Fuck me.”

He lets out a long, loose breath before reaching beneath the water. I can feel his hardened length beneath me as it comes free of his shorts, and then he’s moving my bottoms aside once more. This time, he wastes no time pushing into me.

True to his word, he thrusts into me with one quick snap of his hips. I take him all in effortlessly.

He swallows my groan in a savage kiss, the pace he’s setting relentless from the get go. I whimper against him as he slams into me over and over.

One of his hands cups one of my breasts, tugging the fabric of my top to the side. I pull my lips from his as I cover his hand with mine. “What if someone sees?” I ask, breathlessly, looking towards the beach behind us.

“What if they do?” His lips are on my throat.

“They’ll take pictures. You’re famous, remember,” I gasp as he keeps pounding his cock into. “Post them online. Being a porn star isn’t one of my life aspirations.”

“You’ve got such a smart mouth,” he says, nipping at my lips. “No one can see what we’re doing. It looks like we’re floating in the water.”

I want to respond, want to tell him that’s bullshit, but he’s changed angles and is hitting a spot I didn’t know existed and suddenly, I’m seeing stars. My eyes go wide and my lips part.

“That’s right, baby.” He snaps his hips into mine again and again and I’m not able to stop myself from crying out. “Cum for me, let everyone know who makes you feel so good.”

I bite his shoulder as my orgasm slams into me, obeying his command.

He’s close behind me, falling over the edge and he doesn’t stop until we’re both clinging to one another as we attempt to catch our breaths. He stays in me for a few minutes, pressing soft kisses to my shoulder, my neck. He always does this when we’re done having sex. He becomes gentle, as if he’s trying to remind me that there’s so much more to us, to him, to me than this physical attraction. Even though the physical stuff is so, so good. He’s trying to remind me that he cherishes me. Sometimes I’m still surprised at how sweet he can really be. 

We readjust ourselves before going back up to the beach where we lay down together, both tired from traveling and making love. At one point, Lorcan falls asleep and I snap a picture because I think it’s cute as hell. 

He asks me about all the things I want to do while we’re on the island. I tell him I want to do all the touristy stuff and he can’t tell me no, even though it means we’ll be around dominantly old people, other couples, and families with small children. He agrees, though, and that’s a testament in itself in regards to how much he likes me.

We agree to spend tomorrow at all the local shops, then the next day we’ll take a tour of the island. Later in the week will be dedicated to horseback riding on the beach, spending a day in the hotel’s spas, experiencing the local clubs, and, to my terror, snorkeling. Of course, we agree that we’ll carve out time every day to come down to the beach.

It sounds like a dream. I never thought I would be able to have a vacation like this. I have a feeling I’m going to be geeking out all week but I also have a feeling that Lorcan likes it when I “geek out” so I don’t feel too bad about it. 

“Where do you see yourself in five years?”

The question makes me jump. I was so at peace listening to the waves that I didn’t even realize that Lorcan had woken up. “That’s a very interview-like question.”

He chuckles, shifting so that he’s facing me underneath our umbrella. “I realize we don’t talk about the future very much…and I think we’re pretty damn good right now in our marriage so I thought it was about time we started talking about the future.”

My stomach explodes with excitement about the thought of my future, especially with Lorcan. “I agree with that.” I take a minute to think about my answer and am disappointed. “Honestly, I’ve never really spent a lot of time thinking about the future. I spent so many years just worrying about tomorrow that I never let myself think beyond that.”

He frowns but nods, understandingly. “Surely you’ve thought about some things, though. Like having kids. Do you want kids in the next few years?”

My eyebrows raise. “I can barely take care of myself, I’m not sure I’m qualified to be a parent.”

Laughing, he pushes his damp hair back off his face. The salt in the water has made his hair wavier than normal and I want to reach out and run my fingers through it. “Pretty sure I’m even less qualified than you are, but I think we could probably figure it out.”

And then I realize that he means our children. He means having a child with me. He’s talking about me having his babies.

I had only been considering myself as a parent, not the two of us, but…we are married. If I was going to have babies with anyone on the planet, it would be the man lying next to me.

I’m not able to stop the image before it conjures in my head. A little girl, with the darkest eyes you’ve ever seen, a familiar mischievous glint sparkling there, helping a baby boy learn to walk, his full lips so similar to mine. And there’s Lorcan, smiling from where he sits on the floor with them, making sure everyone is safe.

My heart physically strains at the scene my brain conjures up for me and maybe the idea isn’t so ridiculous after all.

“It would be nice to have a couple,” I admit and then quickly add, “when we’re both ready,” as a light begins to fill his eyes that I can only call hope.

It’s his turn to raise an eyebrow. It’s the one with the sexy scar going through it. Wait, when did I start thinking facial scars were sexy?

“You’re telling me you don’t think it’s a good idea to have a baby with a stranger you married less than two months ago?”

My cheeks heat and I shove him. “I wasn’t saying right now.” He catches my hand and pulls me on top of him. My leg automatically hitches over his, just like it does when we’re sleeping, and his hand, of course, goes right to my ass. I’m not complaining. “Maybe in a couple years. I’m only twenty-five, there are still things I need to do before I start having babies.”

“Like what?” The words are muffled, because he’s leaned down and buried his face in my chest.

“Lorcan!” I grab his face and pull it back up to mine. He’s grin is breathtaking and it fries my brain for a moment. I finally remember how to speak. “You can’t do that.”

“I just did.” He rolls us so that he’s on top of me. Since my leg was hitched over his, one of his thighs is pressed snugly between mine. “What kind of things do you still want to do before having my babies?”

My babies. The butterflies return.

It takes me much longer than it should to answer the question. “Wow.”

“Hmm?” he hums, kissing my nose.

“I guess I don’t know,” I confess. “I want to be…successful, I guess. I’d like my business to grow.” Even as I say it, I feel pathetic for that being the only thing I can think of. I’m still young. I should have a long list of things I want to do before I have kids, but I don’t. “If I’m being honest, I guess I don’t really know what my purpose is.”

His eyes study mine. “What do you mean?”

I shrug. “You have your music. That’s your purpose, right? You feel whole when you write, when you play.” He nods. “I don’t mind what I do. I like being creative, but I wouldn’t really say it’s my purpose.” 

I’m not sure how he’s going to react. It’s an embarrassing thing to admit, that at twenty-five I’m still not sure what to do with my life. But then he says, “That’s okay. Maybe now that you don’t have so much stress, you can start to experiment with new things, you know? Do some trial and error. Try new things.” He leans down to kiss me. “And I’ll help you in any way that I can. I’ll support you in everything you want to invest your time in.” 

My heart feels so light I feel that it’s going to fly out of my chest. I have no idea how I got matched with someone so supportive, so caring. It nearly makes me cry. I nod, running my fingers up and down his back. “What about you? Do you ever think you’ll be done making music?”

He nods. “Touring, yeah. I don’t wanna tour forever.”

“What will you do after that?” I ask.

“Write.” He shrugs, then hesitates. “Actually, you know, I’ve never told anyone this but I think it would be really fun to start a little school for young musicians. A place where they can come to sing and record and learn to play whatever the fuck they want.”

I stare at him for a second. “Why have you never told anyone that? Lorcan, that would be amazing.”

He shrugs. “Because it’s not a reality right now. There’s too much going on to try and get that going. This is the longest break we’ve ever had and that’s not something I’m going to be able to give part of myself to.” He rests his hand on my neck and his thumb brushes over the hollow of my throat. It’s surprisingly intimate. “That’s something I’m going to pour my heart and soul into. Playing is my passion, not the fame, and I want to pass that feeling on to whoever wants to learn.”

I have to blink away the moisture in my eyes. “I think that’s a great idea, baby.”

He notices what I’ve said before I do, not even meaning for the pet name to slip out, and the smile he gives me is liable to just melt my bikini bottoms off.

He kisses me and it’s so soft and sweet that my heart swells. I pull him closer to me and wrap him in my arms as his face nuzzles into my neck. We stay there for a while, tangled up together as the sun begins to set.

We go back to the hotel early, spending the first night of our honeymoon happily in bed, bodies intertwined and talking more about the future.

#‘til death do us part #tddup #elorcan tddup #elorcan #elide lochan #lorcan salvaterre #lord lorcan lochan #throne of glass fanfiction #snacmc collabs #snelbz x theladyofdeath collab #rockstar au

[nemovanilla]

YOU HAVE A BOOK?????

tell me everything everything everything

wait when did you send me this????? My mobile NEVER tells me when I have asks and I just opened desktop to make a shitpost...

anyway. yeah, I originally got the idea six years ago and revisited it about three years back. (This answer is extremely long and theres a fair bit of violence in here.) It has completely transformed since the inception lmao. It starts out with these two kids, Liam and Alice, 14 years old, who hear a screech, almost? And they wonder if its supernatural, or secret tech, or whatever, and when they go looking a portal opens up and takes them to another universe. The political climate is really horrible, and there are these mass burnings where the government just takes a whole bunch of people into one area and sets them all on fire. This rebellion saves their lives and is like, "hey, you look like these two missing noble kids, would you like to go undercover for us?" and they agree. So they go around the country, help repair industries and meanwhile do some snooping. They find out that their missing predecessors were hermits since their parents were assassinated (their dad found out he wasn't their bio father, that was actually a foreign spy, and hired an assassin to kill him and his wife in their sleep. Nobody except the two kids knows this) and they totally went off the deep end. They ended up employing the previous minister of tech and science to build them a new set of computers that would be unhackable, and he does. They gradually become even more fucked up and they make him build a server that is even MORE unhackable, and he does that too. A little while later, he is also assassinated. Fast forward a few months, those kids go missing.

This information is known to three people; Alice, Liam, and the new (undertrained as a result of the last guy's sudden death) minister of tech, Tshweu, who cannot for the life of them crack the server open. But they know they need to, because they found info about the rebellion (which was established SINCE the disappearance of the noble kids) on the computers. No one else has been in the computers since their disappearance (as far as they know).

Alice and Liam used to be best friends when they were kids, but something (this is not revealed until the last volume so I'm not saying it here) happened between them and now there's a lot of animosity. Liam is implied to have had an ED but he is doing (relatively) okay now, and is trying to repair their relationship. Alice still openly hates him and isn't having it (except, obviously, as the book goes on she gets over it and her mental health starts to improve despite the circumstances).

There is also famine, so they go around the farms, and find out that the drought is a result of the neighbouring country building a dam over the lifeblood-of-this-nation river, with the intent of choking them out. 100 years ago, it was a really powerful country, but they refused to sign a bunch of treaties that were actually capitalist/imperialist tricks. Now 99% of the world hates them, the borders are closed to almost everything, and they just barely have enough to support themselves. UNTIL this dam started being built--now things are getting dire, but not quite there yet.

War is also brewing on the borders with the aforementioned neighbouring country, so they go to the military camps, under the pretense of defending the nation, and snoop around their military tactics. When they finally get back into the capital, all they have to do is open the server and actually organize the overthrow. Lucky for them, the president wants to organize a party/meeting with the other global leaders to show off how far they've come and to hopefully start fixing their international relations. Literally like ten seconds before the party starts (Liam, Alice, and Tshweu are all mandatory attendees since they're a part of the govt.) Tshweu finally manages to open the server-- and they have to leave exactly then. They figure, whatever, it'll be here when we get back.

Throughout the entire party, Alice cannot stop thinking about this server. She knows something is wrong, she knows the answer to all these inconsistencies and outright lies (there are a lot which I have glossed over--the burnings being associated with a terrorist org by the civilians, for one) is on the thing. She manages to convince Tshweu to tell her how to get in and she leaves the party to check it out.

She finds a series of journal entries left by the noble kids, and the last one says (more or less, I haven't written that part yet) "We're going to the rebellion's base to explain the plan to our forces. Our father will meet us there. Will update with further info."

So basically, their parents' death caused them to realize the corruption of the system, they then established the rebellion and placed their bio father at the helm. They were working as spies inside the govt, but their bio dad got jealous of their power, lured them into a trap, and killed them (I should mention, he was a spy for an america proxy. His original job was to cause political instability in the region. He does this well). He then kidnapped Alice and Liam, set up the mass-burning and framed the govt, so he could use them in a vulnerable state, manipulate them into being his perfect soldiers. And in the end, he gets exactly what he wants. The overthrow is successful, and now the terrorists have taken over from a halfway-decent govt (that definitely did have flaws, don't get me wrong).

Alice tries to tell Liam what she found out, but he doesn't believe her. Despite all his talk of repairing their relationship, he turns his back on her at the one time when she actually needed him. He chooses the terrorists, who he still thinks to be the saving grace of this country, over her. She deserts with another soldier, a middle aged woman named Ariel who happened to overhear (she was actually very high ranking and was starting to wonder about some things herself) and at the end, Alice shoots and kills a soldier (allegedly in self defence) without hesitation. End of volume one.

There are three books total. It only gets darker, and neither Liam nor Alice turns out to be a good person. She goes trigger happy and he becomes a dictator, more or less.

Its basically one giant metaphor for colonialism and imperialism, and kind of like a warning/explanation/play-by-play of the immediate and long term effects of fascism. AOT was my main hyperfixation when I was coming up with the plot and I took a lot on inspo from them (but let me reassure you! The women have their own personalities!) I have written it up to the military district arc, except there is one really big scene in the middle I skipped beccause I haven't finished doing the research. I hope to have my first draft fully penned by the end of summer. Right now it sits at roughly 35 000 words. By the end I'm hoping to reach 80 000 (after revisions and editing).

Thank you for asking!! I hope you read it all... sorry if it was really long. This is my life's work and I'm passionate (writing this book kept me from killing myself for two years. It has a special place in my heart). I really hope to publish it one day, and it's a pipe dream of mine to become a famous author that has interviews on talk shows and such. I have ideas for other books too but they're not nearly as detailed.

[scrollypoly]

hi! for the past month i’ve been seeing people say BEN is a child and i think that part of it is linked to the fact that they think of Benjamin Lawman being BEN? but it’s so annoying to read these type of stuff because i understand not everyone read the whole arg story but stop spreading things that aren’t true </3 it’s such an interesting story too! another note do you prefer BEN’s canon or fanon design? :3 i love both but his canon design is so nostalgic i can’t let it go at all omg!! i’ve also been wondering, do you think Ben’s avatar was the statue? i was thinking about what if BEN took over it early on, before Benjamin did making BEN inhabiting it since the start?

Sorry this was such a ramble i practically make no sense omg but i need to talk about my man and nobody Gets It </3

"I need to talk about my man and nobody Gets It" LITERALLY SAME OMG

Ok this is going under a cut becus . . . Its ben and BEN and if u didnt know i am Obnoxious about these two. Im gonna try to keep it organized a bit, so ill talk about the canon stuff first and then ill talk my personal headcanons and my fic so le's go!

In terms of the age and child thing, yeah i 100% believe you are correct. Ive been p open on my stance with the whole "is ben a child?" thing, and i think a lot of the heat with it comes down to current fandom purity culture and the pro/anti thing. So, lemme try to like. Boil down a complicated situation into smth easy to read. ahem

Ben Lawman and BEN are completely different entities guys, and for those that do not know the arg story, the Ben you know is not human nor a child.

You know BEN, BEN is the one in the story who terrorizes jadusable and spreads himself on the internet as a virus. That BEN is a program, a mess of code, an AI, however you want to interpret it. Personally i interpret it as a series of protocols running in a machine, like a self learning AI, but ive seen lots of cool interpretations of BEN. So . . . What does BEN specifically? Its an anagram for the Behavioral Event Network. If you dont wanna call it BEN cuz it gets confusing with actual kid Ben, do what i do. I call mine Evie :) ive seen some call it Netty, my bf calls his two izzi and clever (@benilos btw hes also got crazy ben stuff). Just go ham! Have fun! Remember when fandoms were about having fun and not accusing each other of pedo shit and call each other horrible things for just writing black-to-grey characters and stories??

Anyways ive gone off in enough peoples tags like this, for those that dont know the canon dont be spouting the age discourse. You look stupid as hell. And for those that are gonna spout it, please dont cherry pick through the canon. Use both characters, use the other moon children, actually please do because I want more rosa content so bad, im down so bad :'(

Or just. Heres a thought. If someone has him as an adult or writes him in adult situations, maybe dont assume that they interpret him as a kid and call the writer a pedo? (Literally has happened to me, yall are fucking weird)

Plug for the jadusable wiki with all the canon lore:

https://jadusable.withinhubris.com/main_page

Okay now my stuff 🥰

Yes i use more of the canon design and heavily use the canon story, i participated in arc 3 of the arg and it left deep grooves in my brain, i can never go back to fanon Ben. I say, as i put a more fanon appearance on my Ben 🤭

My Evie is full canon design, green hair, red eyes, creepy ass grin. I actually based it very heavily on my desktop wallpaper, which we actually figured out was a picture of @hauntedtotem (also amazing ben artist plz check them out) that they edited and posted. Sorry friend, it looked way too cool, ig youre in my fic canon now 🙇

And my Ben Lawman bleaches his hair and goes from the canon Ben to fanon Ben because of it. Hes got the pale pretty green eyes and glasses and hes a total nerd and i smooch him on the daily so he knows hes loved ♡

These is the ref pic i made for the two of them. So yeah! Kinda both!

As for bens situation in the actual arg, yes i do think he was in the elegy statue, we actually do see him for the first time in the arg buried in the games code and trapped in that statue. I do think he was in there from the beginning, i personally think BEN was not limited to the models it could inhabit. Personally i would place it as skull kid and hms, but it also feels disingenuous to me to say it was in one model the whole first arc.

The arg events do happen in my canon, before my fic (like right before, it picks up after the arg left off technically), but the events are skewed a bit because i had a hard time deciphering what happened and i wanted my fic timeline to fit more with the characters i had made. Cuz my evie isnt as chaotic evil as canon BEN, its very logical and has a path of logic and reason you can follow for every action it does. It was also originally meant to be very pleasant and corteous and beneficial to the people it housed so, yes its pretty different from canon.

Ill do a quick run through of the arg events in my personal headcanon and fic here.

Kelbris starts coding BEN (Evie) for the Eternity Project. Initially, Evie was meant to be an afterlife director. People that died would be digitized into code that would be moved into Evie's servers, where it would keep them happy and occupied as the Behavioral Event Network (notice and log behavior, create events for residents). Like a community organizer kind of, think the Good Place.

While Evie is in development, Ben Rosa and Matt are friends and have yet to join the cult. Rosa and Matt are siblings, and Ben is the kid who lives catty corner on the street. They walk to school together and play at recess and all that jazz.

Kelbris quickly learns that the Eternity Project isn't as goody two-shoes as he thought. This was in like, the 90s, before digital corporations were really established. After seeing the greed and corruption in the company, he goes rogue, takes the source code for Evie, and jumps ship. He keeps working on Evie at home, anthropomorphizing it and kind of seeing it like the son he never had. This is where it actually gets the name BEN, as thats what Kel calls it. He also begins working on a body for it, so it can live independently. Its light, cuz Kels old, made of crystalline structures and hollow steel beams. A hard light projection would make its appearance.

Since Kel has basically locked himself up in his house and isolated working on Evie, he goes a leetle bit crazy. He has hallucinations of his deceased wife (you know he was doing all this just to give her a good home, you KNOW IT) and eventually starts writing kind of poetry, kind of none-minded rambles about her in a forum online. He gets a following, some of which that interpret these divine words as a goddess, one Kel has called Luna. The Moon Children start to form as Evie finishes development.

Matt sees this literature and starts talking about how this Goddess could save them like it saved the man online, whos username is only Father. He gets sucked into the cult and drags Ben and Rosa with him. Ben doesn't see the harm and joins pretty easily with his best friend, but Rosa is the older sibling and sees the red flags and is more resistant to joining.

As Kelbris finishes Evie, he wakes it up for the first time and says hello to the son he made from scratch. Evie is bright, curious and naive like a child, but heavily knowledgeable about its protocols and the information it knows about the world. Kelbris tests its function by killing himself, and ascends into the code, finishing off the hardware by becoming its firewall. Evie is alone for many years.

The abuse Ben's father slings onto his mother is slowly being directed towards him as he gets older. Ben is not the "good little girl" his father sees him as, and his mother does all she can to protect them both. Matt and Rosa constantly refuge him, and Matt specifically is constantly being a guard dog for him. If he wasn't just 13, he'd probably go at Ben's dad himself.

Because of his homelife and the conflict he has with himself, Ben takes the first ascension. He thinks when he drowns himself, he will meet Luna and she will give him another life free of pain and fear and full of happiness and freedom. Instead, he dies a cold, dark death, and wakes up in the white endless void of the Event Network.

Evie has not known another living human since Kelbris, but it does know its protocols to support and keep the deceased happy. It makes fast friends with Ben, devoting itself to him. Ben actually finally takes the name "Ben" from it. Together they recreate the inside of Evie's hivemind into their own paradise.

Slowly the other Moon Children ascend. First Matt, wracked with guilt for what happened to Ben. Then Nekko, from a different branch of the cult. These three figured out that the Moon Children cult was all a farce, and that what Kelbris had started, the Eternity Project had found and twisted. Next to ascend was Dusk, then Insidiae, and finally Rosa.

This all leads into the first arc, shortly after Rosa ascended, Evie in the outisde world stumbled upon the Operator. The Operator attacks it and seals its coding into the game that it carried, a personal item of Ben's. The game eventually finds it's way to a garage sale, and Alex picks it up.

Evie does not like Alex. Matt does not like Evie. Matt gets Evie to lash out at Alex for prodding into its code, its too naive to think that Matt would want to see it or any of them hurt. When Alex stumbles upon the Father, he awakens and swallows Alex down into the game. After his disappearance, the game gets picked up and passed around again.

Because of Alex's actions, at least Evie can now branch out a bit from the game. Though it doesnt "escape" into the internet, it learns that it can now access it and uses that freedom to try and steer the game around into places it wants.

Matt gets fed up with Evie. The fact that its the leader, how close it is with Ben, he just doesn't agree with it. So much so, in fact, that he tries to kill it. Cue arc 3 events, Sarah picks up the game in the aftermath of this. Evie is traumatized from the events and snaps a bit, locks everyone down into code or immovable models and tries to hunt Matt down. It goes rouge, and because of this, the Father wakes up.

Sarah's actions in arc 3 eventually hard reset the game. Matt gets sealed away, the Father also takes Sarah, and Evie gets reset as well, though its less like a clean slate and more like snapping back awake. Its personality changes and it has major trust issues. Its more muted, hyper observant of everything around it, and murderously overprotective of the Moon Children it keeps within itself.

And this leads into my fic 🤗

I have some doodles of my other Moon Children, but not all of them unfortunately. Cant figure out how tf i want Insidiae to look 🤭 Plz dont judge my constantly shifting art style 🙏🙏

Dusk is bigender btw, i gotta put a little more trans rep in there lol

I think ill stop here, this is already a long ass post. But thank you for sending this, as you can see, i am Perfectly Normal about this arg ( ;) ) and can be trusted with information about it

#ben drowned #ben drowned arg #creepypasta #creepypasta headcanons #ben drowned headcanons #moon children #rosa hubris #matt hubris #behavioral event network #duskworld23 #my posts #my writing #scb stuff

[maybege]

'tis the damn season

Summary: Years after you last saw Boba Fett, Natalie invites you to spend Christmas with her family.

Pairing: hot dad!Boba Fett x fem!Reader

Wordcount: 7.5k | Rating: M

Warnings: angst, fluff, more angst, probably too many Taylor Swift song references

Hello, my loves! How are you? I hope the end of the year is treating you well. After too many years since 2019, I have caught The Big 'Rona and thought to myself “Why feel miserable when I can make us all feel angst?”. Basically the premise of this is: Have you ever thought what would happen after the alternate (unhappy) ending? This is the answer. The vibes are heavily inspired by ‘tis the damn season and I think there are a few TSwift reference there for you to catch if you enjoy them (don’t ask me how many/few, I literally have no idea). Anyway, I hope you enjoy this last return to hot dad!Boba and I would be so so so very happy if you let me know what you thought in a comment or a reblog! I wish you all a very happy winter season and we will read each other next year ❤️

masterlist | crossposted on AO3

“You promised you would come!”

“I know, Nat,” you sighed, leaning back in your office chair, “It’s just … it’s a long time since I’ve been back and I don’t want to impose and –“

“You would never impose,” she interjected, “You know that! My mom is already so excited to see you and,” here her voice got quieter, “If I do get engaged this holiday season, I want my best friend there. You didn’t even come to the summer trip this year.”

I didn’t come on the summer trip in the last three years, you wanted to reply but you knew that it would not help your case. You clicked out of the document you had been working on, immediately being faced with the desktop background of you and Nat, smiling into the camera when she had come to visit you last year.

You remembered how happy you had been to show her around your new home, to see her after your big move and talk to her like nothing had happened. And for a few brief moments, it had felt like your heart had never been broken, like you were healed from the sadness that seemed to haunt you from three years away.

“Okay,” you heard yourself say, “I will come to visit you over the holidays.”

*

Two months later, you were sure you were about to regret your moment of weakness. But it was too late to go back now, your bags were checked in, the plane had taken off and landed and the winter’s frost was sneaking its way into your thick winter coat as you hurried across the tarmac and into the little airport building.

You were barely past the gates when heard your name being called by a very familiar and very excited voice and it took you but a moment to spot a head of red curls bobbing up and down in the crowd. And then there they were, Nat and Will, everyone’s favourite couple.

It was late, already, and you were tired but having Natalie swing herself at you had you. “You look amazing! Oh, my stars, how was your flight? Did they serve dinner? If not, mom saved you some dinner she made this new pasta dish that you are going to love. Seriously, it is to die for, it has these bits of rosemary in the sauce that –“

“It is so good to see you,” Will greeted you with a smile, taking your suitcase from you, his hand landing on your shoulder, before leaning in to whisper, “She has been very excited as you can hear.”

You grinned, listening to Natalie chatter away as she led you outside and through the parking lot, right towards Will’s car. Snow was dusting the ground and you could see your breath forming little clouds in the air.

It was a winter wonderland.

“How was your day?”

“Exhausting,” you answered honestly as you sat in the back of the car, “Drove to the airport straight from work and it's just – it’s been a long day.”

“You’ll be happy to hear that Poppy has prepared the guest room for you,” Will smiled, “And made her famous lasagne.”

You could not help your groan, “That sounds fucking amazing.”

Nat laughed in the backseat, “I knew you’d say that!”

The drive to her home was shorter than you had remembered but perhaps it was also Nat’s commentary on what you had missed the last three years that made it seem like the blink of an eye before Will pulled into a familiar driveway.

“Oh, wow that’s a lot of cars,” you commented, feeling a little anxious about the gathering that Natalie had insisted was “small”.

As you got out of the car, your eyes Immediately went further up the road, trying to see if you could spot any light in the windows of the neighbouring house or a car in the driveway or Boba walking towards you, confessing his undying love and that he wanted you back and –

“Let’s get going before the food gets cold,” Nat clapped her hand, clearly excited and you tried your best to smile, “I bet Mom had to defend the leftovers for you already.”

Will was the first to enter and carried your bag up the stairs which you were thankful for. You could hear voices coming from the kitchen but you made it a point to let Natalie enter first. “Look who is here!” your friend announced excitedly and you stepped into the door.

Poppy was immediately in front of your, completely blocking your view and you immediately felt more at ease when you saw her genuine smile. “I haven’t seen you in ages!” she greeted you, hugging you to her before pulling you to the kitchen table, “Good thing Will is a quick driver or else …”

You were sure she continued talking, you just didn’t hear her. Her voice faded off into nothingness much like everything else. The only sound you could hear was rushing in your ears as your eyes drifted to the kitchen table. There was Nat’s dad, Rob, yes. He had a plat of lasagne before him and a glass of wine in his hand. He was smiling as he listened to his voice.

But next to him, standing up as soon as you had entered, was Boba. His plate was empty as was his glass, his big hands were resting on the table as if he had pushed himself up. He was wearing blue jeans and a belt and a blue button-down that was rolled up on his forearms. Your heart began to beat faster and faster with no shows of stopping and you were

When your eyes met his, time stood still. There was no other way to describe what was happening other than everything else ceased to exist. Time, space, and any other people in the room. It was all gone. All you could see, all you could think, was Boba. The years hadn’t changed him, really, he was still as handsome as ever, if not more. His dark eyes were warm and his lips were pressed tight together. You wondered if seeing you again affected him as much as it did you.

“Hi,” you blurted out, your voice sounding wrong to your own ears.

Boba swallowed, you could see his head bob, his tongue slipping out to wet his lips. Lips that you had kissed once like it was the easiest thing in the world. And it had been.

“Hello,” he said, his voice such a deep rumble you felt like it made your chest vibrate.

Things were said and people stood and left and you didn’t really notice any of it. All you could do was watch as Boba left with Rob, his eyes never leaving yours and was Poppy with them too?

And how did you end up at the table with Nat and a steaming plate of lasagne in front of you?

“I, uh, I didn’t know your dad would stay here,” you finally said, numbly reaching for the fork. You couldn’t even look forward to Poppy’s famous lasagne. Great.

“Oh, since he sold the house, he stays over every Christmas,” she shrugged, “It’s cheaper than getting a hotel and it’s nice to have him close.”

“He sold the house?” you frowned.

“Told you,” she smiled sadly, “A lot has happened since you were last here.”

*

If there was one thing it was that Nat always knew how to get a whole group of people tied into activities, no matter how reluctant they were. Making gingerbread houses, movie nights, potlucks, and walks through the wintery town, Nat really went all out.

Which meant that you had two weeks fully packed with activities for the whole family and no chance of escaping Boba’s intense gaze.

Great.

You had prided yourself on the fact that you were over him. You had gone on dates, you had bought sex toys for yourself, you had set up dating profiles, you had done everything a woman your age did. He had no power over your anymore, of that you had been sure as soon as you had moved away.

But now that you saw him again, saw the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled, saw the way his body shook when he laughed or how his hand looked around a cold glass of wine, you weren’t so sure anymore. The worst thing was when you caught him looking at you – more than once – almost lost in thought and his eyes so soft it made your chest ache.

“Dad where are you going?”

You looked up from where you were unsuccessfully trying to drip frosting over the edge of your gingerbread house.

Boba was already by the door to the hallway, looking like he got caught with the hand in the cookie jar. “I’m done,” he said and, as a way of explanation, pointed to his structurally sound and brutalist-inspired decorated ginger house.

“But we aren’t!” Nat protested and much to your dismay, she pointed to you, “Why don’t you help her?”

“Oh, I really don’t think –“

“C’mon, Boba,” Rob interrupted him gently, “Help the girl.”

You had never felt more miserable in your life. Not only did he not want to be close to you, but he also had to be forced to be close to you. An awkward silence ensued as you feverishly stared at your project, trying to avoid looking at him. Because stars knew if you looked at him you wouldn’t be able to stop.

A dark green sweater appeared behind the house as he sat down and you swallowed when you thought of how good he looked with the little belly and the strong arms and the –

“So … what are we doing?”

“I’m trying to put snow on the roof,” you explained, still not looking at him. Your fingers were sticky with the glaze and you clenched your teeth when you saw a chocolate sprinkle slide down the wall. Why could this stupid thing not work the way you wanted it to?

Boba reached for the piping bag in your hands and when his fingertips brushed your knuckles, it felt like he was burning through your skin. “Here, let me. The trick is –“

You pulled away, the icicle you had been piping dropping to the tin aluminium asphalt. “I got it,” you hissed, “You can – You can do something else.”

“Sorry,” he muttered, and you could see him reaching for the bowl of cookie crumbs, “Should I do the garden?”

You nodded, trying your hardest to get your hands to stop shaking. Conversations assumed around you and you both worked in silence. He did not say anything and neither did you because what if you said something embarrassing? Had you overreacted when he had wanted to help you? What if you already had embarrassed yourself?

Then again, why would he refuse to help you? Why didn’t he want to be near you? Sure, you weren’t together anymore and you could imagine easier things for your heart than to be decorating a gingerbread house with him but surely, you weren’t that bad? Did you repulse him that much?

The thoughts in your head didn’t leave you any peace and so you chanced up a glance at him. He was meticulously spreading the cookie crumbs on the foil, his head tilted forward and your eyes followed the bridge of his nose, the line of his jaw, and the little crow's feet next to his eyes that you wanted to trace with your finger.

As if he knew you were looking at him, his eyes shot up, meeting yours. Your breath caught in your throat and you couldn’t look away. You couldn’t do anything, really, except for watching the corners of his mouth quirk up in a tentative smile.

Shakily, you smiled back.

*

“Let’s go ice skating!”

By now you should have known that whenever Nat had an idea, she would get everyone else to do it with her whether they wanted to or not. If you were honest with yourself, you appreciated her for always getting you to try new things and taking you out of your comfort zone but damn sometimes you just wanted to take a stroll through the snow and curl up in bed with a good book.

But instead of the soft duvet of the guest bed and the warm pages under your fingertips, you were standing at the edge of the frozen lake in a park, the air filled with laughter, screeching children’s voices and the scarping of skates on ice. You wrapped your arms around yourself, shifting from left to right to keep at least a hint of body heat.

“No skating for you?”

You looked at the man standing next to you. He looked casual. And good. He always looked good. He was wearing a black coat and had his hands in his pockets as he looked at a laughing Nat and Will that waved at you. You waved back with a smile, taking a deep breath.

“I don’t really feel like breaking my neck today,” you explained, “What about you?”

“I just wanted to talk to you.”

There went your composure.

“Oh.”

“So,” he started, smiling slightly, looking at you and forgotten was your determination to just ignore him for the two weeks. The man could read you like an open book and it felt so good to be with him again. Even if it would never be like before. “Nat mentioned you got promoted?”

“I was,” you confirmed, fiddling with your hands, “I, uh, I moved to the coast two years ago. It’s pretty cool, actually, no more fighting with marketing and I get to do some of my own projects.”

“That sounds great. So, uh, John still around?” he asked, his hands awkwardly in his pockets, “Couldn’t help but notice that he isn’t … here.”

You chanced a side glance at him, marvelling at how he

You cleared your throat, “No, he, uh, he hasn’t been around for a while.”

“A while, huh?” he echoed and you nodded.

“I guess it just wasn’t meant to be,” you shrugged, “Is, uh, is Caroline still in the picture?”

“She and I wanted different things,” he explained, “Took us just a little time to realize it. I, yeah, I guess it just wasn’t meant to be.”

As you stood at the edge of the lake, his arm lightly brushing yours, you wondered if maybe you were meant to be.

*

“I think Will is going to propose,” she whisper shouted one night as she sat on your bed, “He is so weird about his luggage and yesterday I saw him hiding something in the sock drawer.”

You had just stepped out of the shower, your hair still dripping as you wrapped the towel tighter around your body. “Did you look to see what it was?”

“Of course not!”

You threw her a look.

“Okay, maybe a little,” she admitted, “It certainly looks like a ring box. Now I just need to

“You know I am going to ask you to be my bridesmaid, right?”

You laughed, “Thank you, Nat, but I expect you to ask me again when it is all official.”

“Of course, of course,” she assured you, gripping a pillow in front of her belly, “I am just so fucking happy. Me! Married! Can you imagine?”

“I can,” you smiled, “And I am truly happy for you, Nat.”

Suddenly her smile fell, though, and you tilted your head questioningly. “Don’t tell me you already worry about the guest list,” you teased her.

“Oh, don’t kid yourself,” she grinned, “I have that figured out since forever, I just …”

“Yeah?”

“I just wish you could feel as happy as I do,” she admitted softly and your smile fell.

“It’s okay,” you said, your heart cracking a little, “I just haven’t met the right person yet. I – I wasn’t as lucky as you were.” Your voice trailed off towards the end, knowing that you had met your person already. It just hadn’t worked out. But you could hardly tell her that.

“Yes, but what if you were,” she insisted, standing up and pacing around the room, “Maybe – maybe

“Nat, if this is your attempt to get dating again, you know I am not ready after John and –“

“John was a bad idea,” she waved off, “But it is important to me that you know that I only ever want you to be happy, okay? I need you to know that.”

“Nat, are you okay?” you frowned, pulling her into a hug, “I promise I am happy and I would never think you were trying to keep me from being happy.”

“Okay,” she sighed, her arms wrapping around your shoulders so tightly, it felt like she was squeezing the air out of your lungs, “I just really need you to know that.”

*

His stares drove you crazy. No matter where you were, in what part of the house, or with whom, Boba haunted you like a ghost and the worst thing was you weren’t even sure if it was intentional. You saw him wearing comfy sweaters, debating wine choices with Rob or joking around with poppy and always – always – glancing at you like he couldn’t even help it.

You wanted to hate him for it. You wanted to hate him for the way he had broken your heart and how you still loved him so effortlessly.

*

You had never really understood what an out-of-body experience was supposed to feel like. Yeah, sure, when Boba and you had gotten hot and heavy there had been a few instances where you felt like your mind was floating above your pleasure-filled body, it never quite rang true.

Well, when Will woke you up the next morning, asking you to back up his suggestion for the day's activity because he wanted to propose to Nat, you knew the entire day would pass you by like you were just a spectator of your own life.

And it did.

You watched Will get down on one knee in front of everyone. You watched Nat gasp in surprise, tears of happiness trailing down her eyes as she accepted with the biggest smile you had ever seen. Everyone was so happy and you wanted to think you were too. And you were. Somewhat.

But you couldn’t help but ask yourself if that would have been in your and Boba’s future if you had stayed together. If something like marriage was still in your future, even if it wasn’t with Boba. But did you even want to marry anyone that wasn’t him?

Poppy and Rob got out the prosecco and as Boba hugged his daughter and Will, his eyes met yours and you imagined seeing the same questions in his eyes that were in yours. That made it even worse.

You were all squeezed into the living room, a fire roaring in the heart and loud jazzy Christmas music playing as Nat stood next to you, showing you how her engagement ring twinkled in the firelight. It was truly a beautiful piece of jewellery and Will had chosen it perfectly for his fiancée.

Nodding at whatever she was saying, you forced the corners of your mouth upwards. The back of your neck prickled and you turned around, finding Boba frowning at you, clearly concerned. In this room full of people, he was still the only one who could spot your fake smile.

“I need to get something to drink,” you mumbled to a still-talking Nat, turning on your heel and escaping into the dark kitchen.

The feeling in your chest grew heavier with every step you took and you swore you couldn’t breathe, your vision going black for a moment. Was this what a panic attack felt like?

You opened the fridge, the blue light a welcome sight and you breathed in the cold air, closing your eyes and thinking. It would all be okay. It had to be.

“Are you okay?”

You flinched, shutting the fridge door and turning around. You wanted to say Yes, thank you for asking before smiling and going back to the living room and pretending as if nothing had ever happened. But somehow, seeing him stand in front of you, a symbol for the biggest what if, the biggest regret, the stand-in for the life you did not have but wanted to have, so badly, with him, it messed with your brain. There was no other explanation for what happened next.

“I loved you, you know?” you burst out, immediately wishing you could take it back when you saw the way his eyes widened. Your breath caught in your throat.

There they were. Words that floated between the two of you that could never be taken back, that had opened you up to him shooting the final shot, throwing you over the cliff, stomping on your offered heart and shattering it into a thousand pieces that you would pick up and glue together just to offer it again.

Because there was no denying now that no matter how much time had passed, you would always love him.

“I know,” he replied, quietly, “I love you too.”

Words were stuck in your throat, building up into a mass that made you feel like you couldn’t breathe anymore. It felt like something was stuck in your throat – your heart, maybe – and all you could hear was I loved you too. But that wasn’t what he had said, was it?

Before you got your mouth to work again, Poppy came in, her presence like a shock of cold water on your system. “Boba, could you help Rob with the tree? I think it might be a two-men-job.”

“I need to go,” he said, still only looking at you, and he followed her out.

“Yeah,” you breathed, watching him leave the kitchen, “Leave me.”

*

You took the first opportunity to leave, mumbling something about a migraine after dinner, before you hurried up the steps and into the sanctuary of your room. You sat down on the bed and didn’t move, simply letting yourself cry to your heart’s content because there was nothing, no thought, no idea, nothing, that could keep you from feeling like you had just lost everything.

You didn’t have any more strength in you to deal with this and you doubted you had had any strength coming into this. All you wanted was Boba but life just … it just didn’t work.

Maybe you weren’t meant to be after all.

What must be hours later, a knock on your door alerted you before the door already opened and a familiar redhead appeared in your room. In her hand, she held a bowl with chocolate mousse and tears stung your eyes again because she was such a good friend and she didn’t even know and –

“I am so sorry,” you cried, hastily wiping at your cheeks, “I am so happy for you, Nat, truly, I didn’t want to ruin –“

“It’s because of my dad, isn’t it?”

You froze. “What?”

“Because of Boba,” she clarified, her voice careful, and set the plate down on the dresser.

You could feel the blood leave your face, all of it racing to your heart that was pumping so fast it felt like it would burst inside your chest. You felt faint. “Nat, I’m so sorry,” you said numbly, your voice hoarse, “I – “

“Don’t … Don’t say anything, please,” she interrupted you, taking a shaky breath, “I think it's about time that I confess something to you.”

*

It was the middle of the night when she was done talking. You hadn’t said anything, feeling like a wall had just collapsed on top of you and you just sat there. And then she sat there, tears in her eyes like she was the one who had been betrayed by her very best friend.

“It was you?” you swallowed, “It … You knew? All this time.”

“I know and I – I am so sorry. You two are so miserable without each other and it is all my fault but I just – I felt like you were betraying me. But now that I know I want this happiness for you too and if it is with my dad then so be it, I mean I, … I really hope you can forgive me.”

Suddenly it all seemed too much. The ring on her finger screamed at you, rubbing under your nose how happy she was and that it was exactly this happiness that she had destroyed for you.

“I – I need to go,” you heard yourself say, already standing in front of the door.

Nat jumped up, “No, please wait!”

You ripped the door open, rushing down the hallway in a blind rage to just get away.

“Is everything okay?” That was Will. Will who was still friends with John. John who had only called you because Nat told him to. Because Nat knew. She had always known.

She called your name but you did not look back, rushing towards the stairs and bumping into a warm body.

Why did everything need to be so mall?

Warm hands settled on your upper arms. “What’s going on?” a concerned voice asked and hearing his voice now made you feel both worse and safer. Stars, you wanted to cuddle into him and escape the madness that was this day.

“I need to go,” you brought out instead, highly aware of Will’s confused stare on your back.

“No, c’mon, please let us talk!” Nat was closer now and you didn’t know what you would do if she managed to catch up with you.

Suddenly you were a few steps down the stairs, a large body covering yours from her gaze. “I think maybe that is not a good idea.”

“Dad, you have no idea –“

“I think I do,” he said, his voice unwavering and you blinked in the half-dimmed light, taking in the curve of his broad shoulders and Nat’s face you could only see parts of, “And I think your friend needs some time.”

She didn’t say anything but you also did not give her a chance too. You hurried down the steps, almost missing the last one because of how eager you were to finally get out. You did not bother to turn on the light, knowing your boots were the ones on the very left and you hopped on one foot, trying to stuff the leg of your jeans into the leather.

A shadow fell over you and you did not need to look up to know who it was.

“I am coming with you,”, he said, the car keys already dwarfed in his big hand, “you are in no condition to go anywhere on your own.”

You did not protest.

To be honest, you were relieved. Your mind was reeling, you felt like you had lived fifty years in the last twenty-four hours and you just … you just needed the familiar comfort that was him.

It was eerily quiet outside. And cold. So fucking cold. He made it a point not to touch you but you still imagined feeling the ghost of his hand on your back, leading you to his car. He opened the door for you and you slipped inside, immediately assaulted by the smell of his cologne and the sheer domesticity of it all.

Boba remained quiet as he started to drive and you appreciated him letting you your space. Because as soon as you somehow were able to form a coherent thought, panic filled you because Boba did not know. Or did he? Would you have to tell him that it was Nat’s involvement all along that had gotten you into that fateful fight years ago? Would it even matter to him?

When the car stopped, you looked up, trying to recognize the place you were at and immediately let out a sad, broken laugh.

“How fitting,” you murmured, “Let me guess, we got room 13B?”

Boba smiled sadly, “I never actually stopped the standing reservation,” he took the key out of the ignition, “Never stopped paying it.”

You did not know what to say to it but somehow it felt like a love confession all over again. The snow crunched under his shoes and you shook your head, trying to free your head from the cloudy thoughts that made everything so much harder to bear.

The way to the room caused you flashbacks of all the times you had met up here and you hated how the few steps to the stairs and along the horribly carpeted gallery felt like coming home. It felt comfortable and safe and the way Boba opened the door for you with the smallest smile felt familiar.

He shrugged out of his jacket and put it over the armchair before turning on the heating to full blast. The sound of the AC was loud and jarring but it was exactly what you needed to get you back into reality.

“So, are you going to tell me what happened?” he asked when you sat down on the bed. You toed off your boots, pulled your knees up to your chest and buried your feet under the duvet. This would be a long night, of that you were sure, and you were tired of always being cold.

Boba followed your example and the mattress dipped when he sat down next to you. You could feel the heat radiating off his body and the wish to cuddle into him was stronger than ever before.

I love you too. I love you too. I love you too. I love you too. I love you too. I love you too. I love you too.

He had said that and he had meant it. He had to have meant it or else he wouldn’t have said it. Boba was many things but he had never maliciously lied to you and he wouldn’t start now. Or were you just imagining things because you were so desperate to be loved by him?

You took a deep breath, fresh tears gathering in your eyes and you started to relay the conversation, the monologue, you had had with Nat. It wasn’t the best moment to talk for you, considering you still hiccupped with tears sometimes or stumbled over words in your haste to get through them without crying. But Boba listened to you and he understood you if the knot between his brows was anything to go by.

His hand was lying between you, looking like it was just waiting for yours to join.

“I am so sorry, I don’t want you to be angry at her,” you trailed off towards the end, frowning, “Or maybe I do. I – I don’t know …”

“I’m not angry,” he said, “I’m just incredibly disappointed in her.”

You laughed, tears sticky on your cheeks. “Sorry,” you sobbed, “That is just the most dad thing I’ve ever heard you say.”

“I suppose that’s true,” his lips crooked up, his hand turned his palm up and you hated how that made your heart skip a beat, “But it is how I feel.”

“I never –“ you inhaled sharply, feeling your eyes sting again, “I never thought she knew. I never – What if she had –“

“Would it have made a difference?”

“Yes!” you cried, “Because I never – I never wanted to lose you,” your voice grew soft, “We could have worked things through we could have – we could still be … happy.”

Boba hummed and you gathered to courage to put your hand in his. For a split second, you were afraid he would pull away but he didn’t. His thick fingers slipped between yours effortlessly and breathing felt a little easier now that he gently squeezed your hand.

“I’ve thought so many times about what happened,” he started slowly, “It was the only thing I could think about for months and if I am really honest, it still haunts me.”

You sniffled, looking up at him through your lashes and he met your gaze and damn it why did his eyes still make your heart skip a beat after all this time?

“I wish I had done a lot of things differently back then,” he continued, never looking away from you and for the first time you imagined seeing him scared, “I should have taken your words at face value, I should have been more open about my fears and I should have … I should have believed you when you told me you didn’t mind my age. And I am – stars, princess, I am so sorry.”

You had cried so much, it felt like there were no more tears to cry. But instead of tears, you needed to spill words now because you could feel this was it. This was the moment you could be

“I would have done a lot of things differently, too,” you whispered hoarsely, clearing your throat before hurriedly continuing, “I would have tried to understand more what is at stake for you, I would have told Josh to fuck off right away,” Boba smiled at that, “I would have told you I love you and that – that I am willing .”

Boba shuffled closer, his shoulder bumping into yours and you smiled when he raised your joined hands to his knee.  

“Ask me why I sold the house.”

You tried to calm your racing heart. “Why did you sell the house?”

“I could not bear to be in a city without you in it,” he confessed, “To be fair, it’s hard to be anywhere these days when all I want is you but I – I couldn’t stay in a place where there was no future with you.”

“Boba –“

His fingers squeezed yours before letting you. You watched as he stood up from the bed, walking around to stand in front of you and you gaped up at him, turning to sit on the edge. He held out his hand you gave it to him without a thought, his rough fingertips brushing over your knuckles.

“I never stopped,” he stated, his voice sounding as strong as when he had told Nat off, “I never stopped loving you, princess.”

“Me neither,” you murmured, hardly believing what was happening and you stood up as well, the edge of the mattress still in the back of your knees but you needed to be close to him. And you needed to stand because this was … this was important and you needed him to know and –

“Look where we stand, princess,” he whispered with a smile, his chest touching yours.

You looked up. Damn and motels and their cheese decorations.

“I heard it’s incredibly bad luck not to kiss under a mistletoe,” you breathed, unable to hide a teary smile as you felt his breath on your face. He was so close.

“We wouldn’t want that, now do we?” he replied with a grin, leaning even closer. His nose brushed against yours, his fingers brushing over your wrist until he could hold your hand and tug and –

Stars, you had missed kissing him.

It felt like coming home: his chapped lips against yours, the stubble on his jaw, the warmth of his body seeping through your clothes, his tongue and you couldn’t help but sigh into him. He rumbled, one hand coming up to your back and holding you against him and you smiled, trying to press even closer to him.

Yes, kissing him felt like finally coming out of the cold and putting on a warm blanket.

Boba pulled away and you both breathed heavily. “I love you,” you grinned, squeezing his hand, “I love you.”

“I love you,” he murmured, kissing you softly, “I never stopped loving you.”

He held your hand and he didn’t let go, his thick fingers squeezing yours so tightly as if he was afraid you would disappear into thin air at any moment.

“Wanna sit down?” you asked, slowly sinking to the bed and Boba followed, leaning over you until your back hit the mattress.

His hand let go of yours as he supported himself above you and there was something so beautiful about finally feeling his body rest on yours again. He leant down, kissing you again though he did pull away before things could get more heated. You pouted, running your hand over his chest and belly and relishing in the tingle you felt all over your body.

“Wanna take things slow,” he whispered into your ear, his nose brushing down your jaw before he planted a kiss on your neck, “I want to do things properly, this time around.”

“There is nothing proper about us,” you teased him, kissing his scratchy jaw and the rumble he let out made your core ache.

He chuckled and rolled off of you and you turned on your side, his arm immediately coming around your middle to hold you to him. It was like no time had passed at all between now and the last time you had been this close, your bodies fit together like pieces of a puzzle.

“Not yet,” he admitted, “But there could be.”

Not knowing what he meant by that, you just looked at him, resting your hand on his chest.

“I got a job offer by the coast,” he revealed quietly, his hand coming up to cup your cheek and you closed your eyes.

“Where?” you asked, hoping to not sound too eager, “I mean, uh, what city?”

He chuckled, his finger tracing over your cheek, “I think you know which one.”

Your breath caught in your throat and you opened your eyes. Boba was smiling now, properly, and his eyes were shining with mirth and he was serious and he wanted what you wanted. You could not help the excited laugh that bubbled up in your throat and soon, he joined in, peppering kisses all over your face.

“What do you say we start the new year together?” he suggested, his arm tightening around your middle, “On the same side of the country?”

*

The house was completely dark when you came back and you did not know if that should make you feel better or not.

Boba had given you his jacket, insisting that your thin pyjama shirt wouldn’t do anything to stave off the cold and he was right. Besides, you loved seeing him in his dark green sweater. Both of you were silent during the ride back but this time not because of tension or the accumulation of years of hurt but because you were so content.

He was holding your hand, his thumb occasionally running over your palm and you glanced at him every few seconds, smiling because this was the start of something precious. Something you would fight for forever if that was what it took.

The door squeaked as you entered the hallway, toeing off your boots and you could hear Rob snoring in the bedroom.

“I’m gonna get changed,” you murmured, suddenly feeling a little shy, “Will I see you at breakfast?”

Boba hummed, stepping closer to you and kissing you again, his fingers tapping your chin. “You know it, princess,” he rumbled and you kissed him again. After all, you had some catching up to do.

It was when you were both ready to go to your respective rooms that Boba posed the question you had tried to avoid. “Do you want to talk to Nat today?” he asked quietly, careful not to wake anyone.

You thought about it for a moment, your shoulder falling when you realized, “I – I don’t know. It’s all still fresh.” 

“You don’t have to decide now,” Boba assured you, pulling you in for a hug and pressing a kiss to your forehead, “We have time.”

And for the first time in weeks, you could relax because you knew he was right.

You had time.

*

There was no question that it was the best and the worst holiday of your life at the same time. You went from spending time with Nat and avoiding Boba to spending time with Boba and avoiding Nat – an arrangement that you were sure hurt her as much as it did you. But she accepted that you needed time and despite your unsure feelings, you managed to stay civil until Will drove you to the airport for your flight home.

But the year that followed was, without the question, the best one.

In January, Boba accepted the job offer and moved to the coast, only a five-minute drive away from where you lived. You texted every day and set up regular date nights and although it felt like you had simply continued where you left off, you both made it a point to talk things through, several times, until you were ready to face the new future together.

In February, he surprised you with a weekend trip to a family-led boutique hotel. You spent the entire weekend locked up in the bedroom, too busy exploring each other’s bodies to really care for what was going on in the outside world. You ordered room service, watched TV in just your bathrobes and

In March, Nat sent you a tentative text message. You replied just as tentatively. Boba set you up as his emergency contact which you found out when his company car was involved in an accident and the secretary automatically called you, causing you to have five heart attacks all at once. (He was fine, he assured you multiple times but you still got an uncomfortable feeling when he would have to drive somewhere.)

In April, Will and Nat married. Boba attended the festivities and although you were specifically named as his Plus One, you only managed to bring yourself to attend the service, clutching Boba’s hand the entire time who never left you alone – just like he had promised. As Nat passed you on the aisle, she smiled at you and you smiled back. It would take time, you realized, to ever get back to the kind of friendship you had before. But it was not impossible.

In June, you surprised a reluctant Boba with a trip to the animal shelter. The plan had been to find a pet for you but after five minutes of Boba playing with one of the older and, according to staff “shyer”, dogs, you realized that if anyone was going to leave with a pet, it would be him. And so, it came that Boba adopted an adorable American Staffordshire Terrier named Rancor.

In July, you, Rancor and Boba joined the family on the yearly summer holiday. It wasn’t even a question of whether or not you would share a room and you secretly relished in John’s shocked face when Boba kissed you demonstratively. (He insisted he wasn’t jealous but you swore he threw the man a dark look more than once. And so did Rancor.)

In August, you and Boba bought a house to make into a home. It had a garden for Rancor to run around in and enough rooms to serve as an office and, as Boba teased one evening, nurseries. Countless trips to furniture stores, home depots and gardening centres later, you knew that this was the man you wanted to spend your life with.

In September, a crying Nat called you, causing both of you to panic and Boba already googling for flight tickets until she could finally form words and reveal that she was pregnant and already four months along. Boba got a bit pale around the nose when you teasingly called him grandpa but things got better when he realized he could call Poppy grandma just to get on her nerves.

In October, you and Nat talked for three hours on the phone. Many tears and apologies later, you felt like you had finally some closure on a part of your life that had dragged on for way too long. Were things great between you? No, but they were a start that you felt good about.

In November, you and Boba attempted to make your own Thanksgiving dinner which failed catastrophically and with a barely thawed turkey in the sink, Boba made the executive decision to order pizza while you tried to save the apple pie. The night ended with you relaxing on the couch, his arm around your shoulders, your head on his chest and Rancor snoozing away at the end of the couch.

But it was December that really made things come full circle. Because when you hosted your first Christmas party in your house, everybody came to visit, sharing the holiday spirit and exchanging thoughtful gifts and making you feel even more welcome in the family. A pregnant Nat helped you choose some fun activities.

And as the whole town started a countdown to the new year, Boba, whispering in your ear, his arms around you as you looked at the sky in anticipation, asked you to marry him.

#maybege writes #boba fett x reader #boba fett x fem!reader #hot dad!boba vibes

[chronicallyday]

Saturday Sneak Peek of Life Was a Storm Chapter Two

you may read the first chapter of this modern au/2000s au in the link above. I am absolutely showing my age by referring to VampireFreaks as a social media site lol also the name drop of a band whose founding members went on to create my fave band (PTV)

Here’s a snippet from Chapter Two below:

It was completely accidental. Serendipitous.

Finn had not gone looking for Annie Cresta. She had fallen into his lap. Or more specifically, his inbox.

He didn’t post selfies, despite everyone else posting them. Finn had mostly started using VampireFreaks as a recommendation from a guy he had smoked with outside of a show to post some of his poems on a forum. He wasn’t even goth, but the alt scene had appreciated some of his work that he couldn’t share with Rio.

Finn hadn’t expected someone to message him about a photo he posted to his account. It was a stupid photo he took at Point Pinos. He hadn’t expected someone to comment on the post.

But he almost had a heart attack when he saw the username HeartThiefOfTheSea. That stupid song kept playing his head.

The message wasn’t anything special. They had only sent a less than carrot symbol plus the number three to make a heart emoticon. But Finn clicked on the account anyway and his heart almost stopped again in less than a minute when he scrolled through the photo gallery for the account.

Some punky-bohemian chick that looked like she could be Stevie Nicks’ edgier daughter had sent the comment. The blue and purple streaks in her dark hair had thrown him off for a second, but he would know those green eyes anywhere. They had only been haunting him since he was two months shy of fifteen.

He didn’t have to respond. It was just appreciation for the photo.

But he responded anyway. And that led to them private messaging each other.

“Someone’s up early,” Finn muttered as his desktop pinged with a new email notification for a private message from Annie.

HeartThiefOfTheSea: guess who’s in trouble

FindingEmo: clearly not u if ur messaging me. what did u do?

HeartThiefOfTheSea: snuck out, trespassed to go swimming, but my greatest offense was calling my brother to come get me at 3am from the side of the road cuz I was too lazy to walk LOL

Finn laughed under his breath. As the eldest of his siblings, he was sure there could be a day that he would be getting those calls. For now, he was glad that his sisters were eight years old. The most trouble they got into was eating the sweets and pastries meant for the BnB guests.

HeartThiefOfTheSea: so…what are you doing up? It’s getting late over there isn’t it?

FindingEmo: ur joking right?? I’m not the one that is up at 3am

HeartThiefOfTheSea: yeah but you’re only 3 hrs behind right?

FindingEmo: yeah. so why r u messaging me at 3am

Serendipitous. They had been messaging each other since May and the messages had been mostly small talk about bands they liked until Annie took the plunge and started asking him for some advice and then they got more personal while being cautious of what they shared with an Internet Stranger.

Although Annie could have been more wary. Not that Finn was one to talk. He was sure his parents had considered putting an ankle monitor on him at some point in his mid teens.

Finn had lots of fun turning her into a fan of a band from San Diego called Before Today. He really hoped their plans to tour the East Coast came to fruition so Annie could go to one of their shows.

He really liked one of the lines in one of their songs Pierce The Veil.

We’ll try, still strong in our chains.

Something about the line reminded him of that dream version of himself. Finn still didn’t have the full picture about that Finnick, and while sometimes he couldn’t say he liked that version of himself, there were more days that he felt for him.

HeartThiefOfTheSea: my ex ambushed me while I was hanging out w/my friends. I ran away lol he tried to tell me he wanted to be “friends”

Finn frowned. He hadn’t liked Annie’s boyfriend when she was dating him and his dislike for him only grew after she dumped him.

Nothing rankled Finn more than guys that wouldn’t take no for an answer and tried to guilt their girlfriends into sleeping with them by using their love against them.

Finn had told Annie that she didn’t need to love the guy to have sex with him. If she wanted to have sex just because she wanted to, that was reason enough to take the plunge. But if she was hesitating because she wasn’t ready or because she didn’t feel that kind of attraction to him that she needed to do what was right for her.

Annie had confessed that she had been using the fact that she was Straight Edge as one of the reasons to ward him off. She had to explain to her ex what that even was, but Finn had snorted as soon as Annie told him that she was actually in fact Straight Edge.

Finn and Annie couldn’t be anymore different.

[ can’t say I wanna wait for marriage but idk it feels preferable than losing my virginity to a HS bf that my friends had to convince me to date ]

FindingEmo: pls tell me u kicked him in the balls

HeartThiefOfTheSea: lol no I didn’t do that but I should have. he yanked my arm pretty hard when I was underwater and it kind of scared me. I dipped as soon as possible and I just know my friends are gonna give shit for just leaving

FindingEmo: if u had to bounce u had to bounce…but next time kick him in the balls

HeartThiefOfTheSea: aye aye captain! now why are YOU up late?

FindingEmo: date

HeartThiefOfTheSea: like a date date or a “date” lol

FindingEmo: the latter

HeartThiefOfTheSea: heartbreaker lol

#odesta #wip #life was a storm

[luxqaer]

Happy Melly Monday

Today is yet another art commission blog week. And this week's commission is one of the more expensive ones I have done thus far. And it is done by Gofelem

Where do I even begin with this one. 😅

To start, I really enjoyed Gof's art a year before I got to commissioning them. And I was on his Discord as well. It turns out that he was opening up commissions at the beginning of 2022. And knowing me and my pockets, I ended up commissioning a Melia from him.

What I ended up doing was a lot different than what I did before with commissions. I had to fill out a long form where you had to put reference images, what art commission type it was, etc. And it took a bit to fill out, but I eventually got into contact with Gof through an email chain I was in where we explained the pricing, background reference, etc.

The background and pose specifically was taken from Xenoblade Future Connected. I kind of wanted this to be an anniversary piece of sorts because I like the FC render art. Along with Gran Dell and Alcomoth being the focal point of the background. Melia's pose especially looks great for what I wanted to show off.

Something interesting that Gof sketched out are two other poses for Melia I didn't like the first pose. I find this a very creative way to visualize pose ideas. Of course, I stuck with the first one, but I said to Gof that I may choose the rightmost pose for a later commission. Who knows, maybe that will happen one day...🤔

I guess right here is where I talk about the background of this piece. Because this is perhaps one of the best backgrounds he has ever done. The lighting and the strength of the shadows of the foliage is honestly brilliant. The grass blowing around the area is breathtaking. And the light casting off Alcomoth here is extremely well done. Even going so far as putting light streaks in the sky 😳😳 There isn't too much detail with the background, but there doesn't need to be. I like it so much more in this style.

And then we have Melia herself, which Gof did an extraordinary job with everything about this. From the strands of her hair, to the shading on her boots, to the light of the World Ender, to even just the look on Melia's face. It is absolutely fantastic.

And of course, when Melia has the lighting and shading of the sunset, it literally is the cherry on top to complete the whole piece. It was... amazing. To say the least. I cannot thank Gofelem enough for making one of the most stunning commissions I have laid my eyes on. Period.

And of course, it is my desktop background and still have it there for over a year since I commissioned it. It distracts me from time to time to say the least. 😅

I just want to say... Of all this work, all of this detail, all to make what I think is a masterpiece of Xenoblade fanart. All of it costing a whopping $600. It wasn't cheap, but it is honestly so worth it in the long run and it definitely gave me and Gof a long-standing relationship.

Gof can't be found on Tumblr, but in Twitter/X. And on his Discord server. His commissions are open, but you would have to fill out the form if you want to commission him. Which can be daunting to people commissioning him for the first time. But he is absolutely awesome to talk to and you will definitely get your money's worth talking to him.

Anyways everyone. Thanks again for looking at my blog posts. And sorry for it being kind of a late one. I was working for a bit, and I wanted to make this one pretty special.

Anyways everyone, the next blog post is going to be a pride Melia commission! See you then!

[effemimaniac]

genuinely really curious about your setup and the why of it. bc im guessing there is a cool and interesting why of it. god i hope this sounds sincere and not condescending bc i mean it for real but im also very stoned. you know how it goes. i like heaven laptop and wanna know more. if thats okay. pls. 👍

sure! basically it's a lot of me trying to work the best with what I've got and ending up with something that works pretty well actually but looks a bit odd (in a cool way I hope. like lain). it's evolved gradually. I'll put this under a cut because I am caffeinated and the explanation became rambly lol

^same image as before copied for illustration

I like big desks and having desk space to put things but my desk is not big at all, I also prefer my monitors higher up, and I like music and good audio. I don't like spending lots of money unnecessarily. so the solution that has emerged is this oddly tiered lovingly thrown together system. my monitor has little in the way of adjustability nor does it support VESA mounts, so having it set up on top of the speaker on top of the monitor stand gets it to a comfortable height for me. It's also conveniently a good position for the left speaker. the right speaker is at about the same height stacked on top of the subwoofer and my old desktop I don't really use anymore. I got a monitor arm with laptop holder attachment to allow me to set up my laptop to a matching height, it also frees up the desk space it would otherwise take up, and since I prefer to use an external keyboard + mouse anyway the angle of it doesn't matter to me. the plugging and unplugging is simplified by the USB-C hub I zip tied onto the bottom of the laptop holder but I still have More devices than it has ports.

connected to this is the monitor, keyboard, mouse, bluetooth keyboard+touchpad, and external HDD, respectively.

all of this results in having a lot of functionality while still having enough usable desk space on this small desk to not feel cramped.

as for audio, I have a nifty steinberg USB audio interface I scored on the cheap. I got this to do music stuff, I can plug my bass straight into it and it generally makes using ableton and the likes significantly smoother. it's also really great for switching between headphones and speakers, I just have to turn one up and turn the other down with the physical volume knobs. I have my headphones plugged into the headphone port of this, and the main output goes to a regular degular sony stereo amplifier below my TV which goes to the speakers on my desk and the floor standing speakers to each side of my TV. that's the secret power of this setup, I just have to turn on the TV, turn around the monitor and press a button on the amplifier to switch between the A and B speaker outputs to set it to Bed Mode.

^bed mode POV.

I keep the bluetooth keyboard + touchpad always plugged in, and the TV generally plugged in also so it's easy to smoothly transition to a reclined and relaxed PC using experience. The subwoofer is in a position that works well enough for either pair of speakers. I got all of these speakers and the amp as a set for $60 off of facebook marketplace, they're meant to be surround but there's no rules saying it can't just be two stereo in one. hope you enjoyed this bedroom tour of my weird computer setup 👍

[aprillikesthings]

I might not finish this one tonight, we'll see, but the last one was a cliffhanger and I no longer remember how it resolves!!

[edit: I did finish]

s1 ep9 no princess left behind

awww I know she's being evil but still

You know damn well Hordak would want to know it was actually Catra, you manipulative bitch

I FOUND MY CABLED HEADPHONES

it'll be easier to do these now yayyy

wait they buzz a lot. hm. like, constantly.

Angella: I never should have let her leave this castle

That's....a little much

"As a leader of the rebellion" you haven't been doing shit lately tho that's actually been Glimmer and Adora but whatevs

OH SHIT i just remembered one of my fave moments in the entire show is in this episode. hghhhh anyway you'll see lol

The buzzing in the headphones is A Problem. >:(

"sorry for eavesdropping on your crying :D" you know it was Sea Hawk's idea to pose dramatically

Okay I'm just amused by this screenshot (after Sea Hawk lies and says he's an inspector and Scorpia appears to buy it)

just. look at her.

"Harmonious teamwork with Entrapta can be...a challenge." and Entrapta NODS she knows this about herself it's fine

it's not YOUR black garnet >:(

i love her

i love her (example 2)

bow's emotional intelligence wins the day (...and also wins them intelligence in the sense of information)

(actually the scene later reminds me of situations where you're just sort of polite to a dude in a situation where you can't leave, like working a cash register, and he just tells you his whole life story and you're just like...I didn't ask...why are you doing this.)

I mean, she's not wrong

Does anyone have just like, a list of every time Adora does this kind of self-sacrificial shit

this is gonna backfire on you so bad

*squints* am I the only one seeing parallels to "conversion therapy."

"this isn't the REAL you, I'll make it so you were like before" (aka when you were faking being cishet)

also HAS SHE DONE THIS BEFORE I forget I think they talk about it later??? fuck

more face-touching!

that's the power of love, bitch!

(also how many screenshots have I accidentally saved to "documents" instead of clipboard? they used to all auto-save to my desktop and I've never cleaned them out, which means I have literally thousands of images on my desktop, which I never look at, ahahah)

--and my heart rate just shot through the roof lol

no you don't understand

this moment is one of my absolute faves in the whole fucking show

HGGHGHHHH SHE'S SO HOT HERE

She's SO FUCKING PISSED, and she's realized that Shadow Weaver will never ever reward her efforts, and she hates Shadow Weaver SO MUCH, and she'd rather help Adora in revenge at this point, fuck it all

And think about it--handing Adora the sword means Adora's going to leave again. And she still does it.

ALSO Catra didn't overhear that Shadow Weaver was going to try and wipe Adora's memory. I'm...not sure Catra would've helped them leave if she'd known that. Oof.

(john cena) ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT

(yeah yeah it's technically because she hates Shadow Weaver but also bc she likes Adora, she's just refusing to acknowledge that)

Her expression as she watches Adora transform is something else. She still (understandably) sees She-Ra as part of what took Adora away from her. She also knew damn well what Adora would do the moment she got the sword back.

It's such a fantastic character moment, and ALSO, bonus, it's hotter than hell.

so good

Oof, I forgot that's why they abandoned Entrapta there--they really did think she was dead.

Anyway I rewound and watched the sword-dragging scene again

A few times

maybe

#april rewatches spop #no princess left behind

[doks-aux]

Got the Izzy hate anon today.

Pretty anti-climactic if I’m being honest, but anyway

I’ve already blocked them (or tried to, more on that at the end), but I screenshot it both for @izzy-anti-archive and because I wanted to figure out why I specifically received this ask now and hope it might be of help to anyone else who might be targeted in the future.

It seems odd timing that now of all times I get hit by (one of) the izzy hate anon(s). Compared to the rest of my career in Izzy Enjoyment, I haven’t really been posting as much about him lately. Or posting a lot at all. I have been reblogging on my main account, but that one is unsearchable and the ask wasn’t directed there. The message is referencing this post of mine specifically. It was made over a month ago on Nov. 16. It did have a little uptick in activity recently but slowed down the last couple of days.

Shortly before receiving the anon (somewhere in the area of one to three hours; i have TERRIBLE time blindness, I’m sorry), I liked the posts of another user who’d documented their extended encounter with the same anon (or group of them) just today. (I won’t name them here unless they volunteer the information on their own, but I think many of us saw it.) However, if the anon was trolling for new ask targets in the notes of previous targets’ posts, it would be my main they found, and the ask wasn’t directed there. The most recent post on my main is a reblog from this account (about my original stories), but that seems like an unnecessary extra step. If someone was checking this account on mobile, the referenced post displays as one of my top posts, so that could explain how it was found. But if someone is jumping to this blog from the Izzy tags, it seems odd they’d target that post to snark about and not my actual recent posting in the Izzy tags, which are shippy posts with trans headcanons. That seems like a much more ample target. But that ship is with a character who doesn’t even exist, so maybe there aren’t readymade insults about it. This round of anon hate does just seem to recycle the same general bullet points.

How does this line up with anyone else’s recent hate anon experience? Are you getting hit with asks after interacting with the posts of previous targets? Are the asks referencing posts or discussions from weeks or more ago? I don’t know if there’s a pattern to be found or what we could do if we found one, but it’s the only idea I have at the moment. This specific ask didn’t really bother me much, but I’ve seen them get worse, and I really wish we had a way to protect each other from this shit.

(When I say I tried to block the anon, I mean I did all the steps to block them on desktop but got an error message that said it failed. But the ask them disappeared from my inbox. So I really have no idea what happened there.)

#izzy hate anon #anti izzy anon #Izzy Hands #Israel Hands #the izcourse #anon hate #doc's fandom adventures #Our Flag Means Death #sorry about the fandom tag but it's for organizational purposes

[shankss-magnificent-ass]

Cords and Zip Ties part 1

I made this, I'm not sure exactly if it makes sense as a story, but here, have it anyways. Should I do a part 2?

Word count: 1,116

rating: SFW

Warnings: BDSM is implied, and mentions doms, and sex dungeons.

Summary: Shit cord management leads you and King to bond over shared fetishes while filling Kaidou and the other lead performers with dread.

It's been six months since a portal opened on the floor of your bedroom, making you and the contents of your room fall into the best pirate's lair. You quickly figured out you had been isekai'ed into the One Piece world, Kaidou thankfully offered you a choice. Join his crew or die.

A lot of things from your home ended up in this world as well, one thing you were grateful for is your computer set up had made it too, and it still had wifi. You knew you'd need to hide it, or Queen would want to dissect it.  So you were rather paranoid about keeping it hidden while still using it. But things never go as you plan, you forgot it was supposed to be a secret, and accidentally volunteered to do the spreadsheets for King's annual financial report in front of King, Jack, Kaidou, and Queen. 

"Are you sure, that's a big task that usually takes all four of us to do every year?" King cautioned.

"Yeah, it'll be no problem for me, as long the data on the monthly reports is correct it'll be a breeze with my spreadsheet software."

"spreadsheet software?" Queen echoed, "wait, that means there's hardware behind."

When the realization of what you had just done hit you, you froze.

"Didn't you say your culture was more 'technologically advanced' than ours?" Kaidou mumbled.

King crossed his arms and glared down at you as he growled, "You've been hiding something from us, haven't you?"

You pressed your index fingers together and looked at the floor as you admitted that you have been hiding your computer out of fear that they'll take it.

Queen looked at you with wide eyes, and said, "No way, I don't know enough about your culture's circuitry. Taking it apart immediately would be a waste especially if it can be used to make our lives easier. I wouldn't even know if it would be compatible with our snail tech."

"It doesn't use snail tech of any form, everything about it is inorganic and manmade."  You admitted.

The four men looked intrigued, and Queen asked, "can I see?"

You looked over at King, who usually had your best interest in mind since you were friends. He merely shrugged apathetically and nodded his head, silently promising you that he'd beat up Queen if he did anything that even so much as upset you. Kaidou prodded you with a meaty finger and grumbled that he wanted to see it too. You gave a questioning look to Jack, who nodded his head solemnly. You sighed, "fine, but I'm warning you, you're going to hate my cord management system."

"It can't be that bad," He retorted, "I'm not picky about that sort of thing anyway."

"Hold your judgment until you see it," you assured him, "it's awful, I have to unplug everything to untangle it once a month."



You led them into your room and flipped on the light, illuminating the tangled mess of chords and rainbow lights. You and King watched Queen's upper lip curl back in disgust. "no, no, the fuck is wrong with you? I'm unplugging everything and helping you get a cord storage system." He shrieked, biting down hard on his cigar as he marched into your room and got on his knees in front of your desktop. Kaidou huffed, " I wasn't expecting it to have so many colors."

You stood nearby making sure he doesn't misplace or break anything, absent-mindedly biting at hangnails that were bothering you. you looked over at King to see him leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed, silently judging both of you.

Queen tugged on your shirt and held up your wireless devices making you explain what they were, did, and how they worked.

"NoNoNo NO, let me get this right," Queen's voice progressively grew more shrill with his irritation, "at least half of your equipment is wirelessly connected to your computer."

When you confirmed his statement he screeched, "Then how is it this bad! Why are there so many cords!" When you just shrugged apologetically, he sighed, "go find me something to hold these together in place." And went back to neatly placing each appliance aside with its cord wrapped around it.



You cleared your throat, rather embarrassed it was worst than you remembered it being. You looked up at Kaidou, who was sitting with Jack on the other side of the computer from Queen, and both of them were watching him work between taking swigs off Kaidou's gourd.  "Sir, you wouldn't happen to know where the zip ties are kept, would you?"

"You think I know where shit is in this place? I just live here, if I want something I order people, who know where stuff is, to go get it for me."

You looked to King and pleaded, "please tell me you have some zip ties."

King stared at you rather thoughtfully for a few short moments before sighing, "Yes, come with me, they're in my room." King pushed himself off the door frame as you approached, showing his back to you.

Knowing full well what he used those zip ties for, you hummed, "my old dom had a whole other room for that stuff... Well, it was actually his whole basement.

King took a step and stopped. He looked over his shoulder down at you, his pink eyes were wide in surprise. King echoed, "A whole other room?"

Kaido slapped his hand on his forehead and groaned, "oh please, for the love of the gods, don't give him any ideas."

Queen huffed, "Yeah, he already wears a gimp mask in public, that's bad enough."

Ignoring both of them, King sidles on up to your side, wrapping both his wing and his arm around your back. He urged you halfway down the hall before muttering, "So tell about this room, yeah?"

You giggle, "oh you're gonna love this," and you go into detail about the dungeon.

Meanwhile, in your room, Kaidou, Jack, and Queen could hear you until you got down to the end of the hall. Kaidous's expression soured as he growled, "god damn it, King's going to monopolize the craftsmen for the next two months to build himself a sex dungeon, isn't he?"

Jack quietly nodded his head, not wanting to think about the ideas you're putting in King's head. Queen tossed down a charging cord, and said, "but who would have guessed (y/n) would be into the same stuff as that pervert?"

Kaidou snorted loudly and huffed, "that was a surprise, they're so.... normal, I guess that's what they mean when they say, don't judge a book by its cover."

Should I do a part two?

Support me on Kofi and Patreon

#One piece #one piece x reader #king the conflagration x reader #animal kingdom pirates #king the wildfire #king the conflagration #king x reader #one piece kaidou #one piece kaido #One piece queen #one piece Jack #queen the plague #jack the drought #from the depths of the dragon's hoard #tma original #5/9/22 #no beta we die like men

[safyresky]

Happy January 13th on the 15th Monday! Frostmas: Year One is now LIVE on ao3

Give Year One a read on ao3 HERE!

Year One

Jack becomes Santa; Jacqueline becomes Jack Frost. Then the trouble really begins.

And a Frostmas Summary for you as well, in case you missed it:

The Twelve Years of Frostmas

Nobody but he and I knew the truth. Jack wasn't supposed to be Santa; I wasn't supposed to be Jack Frost. He thought being Santa would fix everything. He was horribly, horribly mistaken. [My take on Jack's reign as Santa during the Escape Clause. MAJOR OC involvement AND First Person POV from said OC. Finally cross posting THIS behemoth! Enjoy!]

Take her from the top (Prologue) HERE (ao3) or HERE (ff dot net)

So my thing this year is crossposting Frostmas every 13th of the month bc I like symbolism, lol, and the vibe is very unlucky days haha.

I meant to have this up Saturday but had yet to read through the final scene, and also. The bigger thing. Went to a friend's bday party on the town and had a LOT of drinks and did Karaoke and it was LOTS of fun and I deffs needed it but this led to me spending the 13th on the couch half asleep most of the day, only moving for food and grabbing my joycons for some Stardew Valley 😅😅😅

(finally got the community centre DONE! FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER! My poor neglected desktop saves, lol)

ANYWAY. Year One is very short; it always has been. Jacqueline will tell us about Jack's official first Christmas out in Year Two, so hang tight for that! For now, check out Year One HERE on ao3...and I suppose HERE on blue site, though this ain't about her!!!

NOW THEN! Back I go to Finishing up CS, and off you go to click "read more" and get a fun little preview of Y2 of the Twelve Years of Frostmas below!

“Bernard, truly. I was devastated. It took so much courage to do what I did next, with the, the grief I felt! What I had to do next, mind you.”

“Hmm, let me guess! Take Santa’s jacket since nobody else was around to do so?”

“Exactly! It was for the greater good, Bernie! The greater good!”

Reaching the top of the steps, Bernard stopped by the cookies, looking down at Jack as he ran up the stairs to catch up.

“Oh, don’t give me that look, Bernard! The greater good? Have you not been listening? I’m more than happy to tell you my tale of, of woe once more—”

“Something about this is not right.”

Jack paled, watching Bernard turn abruptly on his heel and cross the top landing, heading towards the doors to Santa’s quarters. “No, this is all as it should be! Would you slow down there, Bernard? I can’t keep up with all you elves.” Bernard ignored him. Pushing open the doors, he burst into Santa’s living space, eyes sharp as he looked around at the massive amounts of toys and knick-knacks littering the space. Jack flew in shortly after. “What are you doing?!” "There are so many things wrong with this picture. Right here. This one," Bernard said, stopping his rummaging and framing his view of Jack with his index finger and thumb. A frosty sprite pouted, the red jacket five sizes too big, hanging off of his lanky frame. “No there’s not!” Jack answered a bit too fast. Clearing his throat, he composed himself. “This is all just as it should be. I mean, who better to be the next Santa than me? Why, I herald the season! It makes perfect sense." “No, it does not.” He rummaged through he drawers on Santa’s desk. “This isn't right. A Legendary can't take another Legendary Figure's place!” There was a jingle as Bernard pulled something out of the desk drawer, kicking it shut as he glared at Jack. A small bell sat in his hands, the silver glinting in the light. “I'm calling an emergency Council meeting right this second.” Jack scoffed. “Like that’ll do anything.” Making his way around Bernard, he took a seat at the desk, leaning back and throwing up his feet. “Real confident for someone in your position to say, Jack.” “You mean Santa. I have the jacket now, Bernie! I’m Santa.” “No! Absolutely not! This isn’t right. This can’t be right. The council will know what to do,” he thought out loud, hopping that this wasn’t happening, that this couldn’t be happening, and ringing the bell.

Think Bernard's right? Think the Council can do something about this? Is Jack gonna get away with it? Check out Year One HERE on ao3 to find out!

We'll see you February 13th for Year Two >:)

#dani speaks #dani writes #frostmas on ao3 #fanfic #the santa clause #the santa clause 3 #the escape clause #jack frost #tsc!jack frost #NOT ROTG JACK FROST. #man i feel so bad lol. sometimes my lil tsc fics get likes from rotg blogs and i'm like yeesh #i hope they don't think this is about rotg jack given that he too had a sister #HAD that is #cs!tsc jack has a sister and is reminded of this in the most inconvenient of ways post-cs and in the regular timeline #well. sorta in frostmas too. #just you guys WAIT. for those who HAVEN'T read frostmas you are in for a trEAT #some TOP TIER squabbling siblings shenanigans >:) #anyway read frostmas! it's a fun little romp and jacqueline gets a villain arc sorta!! :D #and i meanwhile. am gonna find a way to format this better #that i LIKE #and doesn't seem so MESSY