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#anyway i only draw profile shots now sorry
penciltopbear · 4 years
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Murder is fun and cool
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limitlessgojo · 3 years
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Going to a Private Onsen with Gojo
NSFW Gojo Satoru x F!Reader, established relationship
Type: One shot. This is around almost 4k words.
Warnings: 18+ NSFW content, Voyeurism, exhibitionism, daddy kink, squirting, overstimulation, praising, dom!Gojo, breeding kink, slightly manipulative/ Yandere Gojo, degradation
Notes: finally got to finish this fic, my motivation just dropped halfway lmao. The inn house has rooms with private hot springs. Not shared like the communal ones in public bath houses. This is half fluff half smut.
The private hot springs per room are separated by bamboo trees and wooden walls. (With holes. So you know what's gonna go down👀💦💦💦)
You and Satoru finally get the chance to have a 2 day 1 night short break from work. He takes you to an inn, checking in a tatami room with a private hot spring (onsen) included. The place smelled fresh, and you could smell the flowers outside.
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"We can see the hot springs from here love. What do you think? It's gorgeous isn't it?" Satoru wiggled his eyebrows at you. You both set your luggage down, making yourselves at home. The sun is still high up, it is only 2:00pm and the hot spring is steaming, the sunlight making the water shine and glitter.
"It's not bad at all; the room is quite big as well." You smiled. Despite knowing that you're only stroking his ego, you let it go for once. Just this once because it is a special break after all. He internally pats himself on the back, beaming at you. “Glad you like it. Let’s take a walk around the area and then come back for dinner.”
“Fine with me”. Both of you changed into traditional clothing first. Gojo into a Yukata and you into your kimono. He helped you tie your obi and do your hair up. "Look how pretty my kitten is." He practically purred out as he cinched your waist beneath his large hands. His hands felt like fire on your waist.
You flushed, softly calling out his name. "N-not now." You stared at his profile. All lean and muscular. Knowing his physique hidden under the blue fabric did nothing to help. 
"Not now." He agreed. But the glint in his eyes said otherwise. Still he held himself back.
So you both set out, exploring the town. The stalls were bustling with people. You both bought souvenirs for the students as well as omamori (charms) for various purposes. 
You visited the temple and just tried to relieve the pent up stress from the last few weeks. “The air is so cool and it smells really nice here.” The flowers were all in bloom, as it was spring as of now. Satoru, however, kept his eyes on you for most of the time instead of the scenery around him. 
“Yeah, it’s real pretty isn’t it? Wanna take some photos?”
“Good idea! I need a new lock screen pic of us Toru!” you smiled. Your smile unfortunately dimmed upon noticing other women staring at Satoru and batting their eyelashes at him (ignoring the fact that you were right beside him). 
You’ve always known that he was a gorgeous person, just thanking your lucky stars that he actually came around to reciprocate your feelings. “Hey”, Satoru cupped your face and turned it to face him. He was pouting. “Focus on me love. This trip is just for us.” 
You gave him a weak smile. “Yeah, sorry about that. AH! I wanna have a picture by that Sakura tree~”. You tried to be more enthusiastic and engaging, blocking out any jealous and negative thoughts. 
Seriously, it's not like you didn't trust him. Just that your insecurity gets to you sometimes. You quickly bat the thoughts away. Your thoughts came to a halt when you felt something soft on the corner of your lips. 
"Love you." Satoru murmured against your cheek. You turned to see his eyes under his drooping sunglasses just an inch away from yours. You couldn't help but sigh in admiration. Of course he knows how you feel. "I love you more Toruu~ Now let's go." You gave him a genuine and bright smile. Walking over to a shaded area near the lake, surrounded by tall grass.
He leaned down to press his cheek against the top of your head and placed one arm around you. His other hand was holding up his phone for a selfie. After you took some pretty and funny photos, he surprised you by bringing out a polaroid.
"Eh?! Since when did you bring that with you?" You asked him. Satoru gave a sneaky smirk, "Well. Since you talked non stop about loving the vintage aesthetic recently, I thought it would be good to make a small scrapbook or photo album of this trip." 
".... who are you and what have you done with my husband..."
"Hey! That's rude. I'm always nice and sweet." He pouted and widened his eyes, using a finger to push down his shades. "I knowww~ Just kidding Toru, I love your ideas. I'll help you with it then." 
"Of course you will pumpkin." He squeezed you against his side, not caring about anyone who might be looking at both of you being overly affectionate in public. 
He took pictures using the polaroid camera every now and then. Taking your hand and leading you around, Satoru did not give your thoughts a chance to move away from him. He didn't hesitate to tickle you when your guard was down and poked at your cheeks with the most annoying grin. 
After that it was just you and him. Enjoying your precious time together, undisturbed by anyone else. By the time the sun was setting, you dragged him over to an Izakaya. "Should we have dinner here?" You asked him. 
"Ooooh! Looks like they have good meat and eel. That's fine with me." He replied. You both enjoyed dinner and had a bit of sake. Satoru always looked cute with flushed red cheeks and that big stupid smile of his. "Well you look cuter than me for once Hun." He quipped back.
You smiled as you wiped that teriyaki sauce off the corner of his mouth for him. It was a really peaceful day. 
Walking back to the inn, you noticed a shadow moving quickly just by the corner of your eye. This is why you don't think about work during your free time. Feeling chills run up your spine, you turned to see a curse, staring straight back at you. "Ah shit I left my sword back in the inn." 
Not even having finished your sentence, you watched as Satoru flicked his wrist and took down the 2nd grade curse in an instant. "I told you not to worry darling. I'm not going to let anything hurt you." He tutted and booped your nose playfully, eyes shining. 
"Heehh~" you pretended not to be impressed but by the look on his face, you knew you didn't do a good job of hiding it. He just chuckled and wrapped his arms around you. "Toru I can't walk like this." 
It was like trying to lug a 190cm tall clingy infant. "I'll protect you with my infinity from all sides love." He looked really happy, just prancing around with you in his arms as you both made your way back to the inn. 
💜💜💜
You both settled back in and got ready to take a bath. It was a really good day and everything went smoother than you thought it would, knowing your chaotic and unorthodox doof of a husband. 
"Dinner was so good. This was a great idea Toru, thank you." You smiled up at him. He smiled back, so soft and gentle with you. The way he never is and never will be with anyone else.
"Now then, I'll be taking my payment from you." You looked up at him, confusion evident on your face. Your husband of 5 years still confuses you until this day. "I'm sorry?" you felt affronted as you asked the question. You had no problem paying your share of the bills, heck you earn a lot as a 1st grade Jujutsu sorcerer yourself. 
But Satoru spent about over a month pestering you about wanting to treat you to a short staycation with him. "Yes", he replied slowly making his way towards you, towering over your shorter frame. You stood your ground and craned to look up at him. 
"Thank you for the meal sweetheart. You will be my dessert." He removed his glasses and threw them aside to showcase his bright blue eyes. You shivered from the intensity, and his lips turned up in a smirk. His words were somewhat funny, but his tone was dead serious.
He wasted no time, leaning down to suck down on the juncture of your neck and shoulder, after he pulled one side of your kimono off your shoulder. "Sa-Satoru!!, hah- ", his grip on you was way too tight.
"Baby, I am so sorry I can't wait any longer. Won't you be good for me?" Satoru asked as he took a step back and cupped your cheeks in his hands.
It's true that this man has no self-control, always palming your ass down the hallways at Tokyo Jujutsu High. But you rarely see him as desperate as he is now, that it was actually endearing to you. So you relented, earning a grin from the man.
He helped you out of your kimono, littering small kisses on your forehead and cheeks, before he started biting on one ear. 
Unclasping your bra, he reached down to grope your breasts. You stared at him as he suckled on one nipple while toying with the other. His eyes opened to meet yours, and you could feel the growing wetness between your legs.
You also reached up to pull his Yukata off, undoing the tie on his waist. "I love it when you hair is done up darling. I can bite as much of your neck as I want." He growled out against your shoulder, biting and sucking wherever he can.
Your mouth watered upon seeing the outline of his hard-on straining against his boxers. On the other hand, Satoru stared unashamedly as you pulled down your panties, keeping your legs together to keep your slick from dripping down your legs.
Impatiently, you reached up and ran your fingers through his locks. "Satoru~" you whined. He only smirked in response. In one quick movement, he gathered you into his arms and brought you over to the small washing area with the soap and shower-head. 
He was still in his boxers however. You just stared at it, drawing closer to press your hand and rub the outline. He let out a long moan, which led to you to quickly look up and snap out a hush. "The neighbours might hear us Toru." You whined. 
"Tch, Let them hear. They can't touch or experience us anyways. And I want to show off my lovely little wife." He leered down at you, finally removing his wet boxers and throwing it onto the ground.
His hard cock sprang up and slapped against his abs. As if moving by some force, you immediately dropped to your knees. Rubbing soap onto his waist, thighs, and finally pumping his cock with your soapy hands. You looked up to him as you "cleaned" him off with innocent eyes. 
Satoru wasn't impressed. "Don't tease me baby or you'll regret it." He pulled you up and brought you into a deep kiss. You both gathered more soap and started washing each other off.
With his hands moving slowly down the sides, Satoru didn't hold himself back from touching every nook and cranny of your body. From your neck, to your shoulders, down your breasts, going to your thighs and legs. His hands were rubbing at your skin, inching nearer and nearer to your cunt. Until he suddenly pulled away, making you cry out at the loss of contact. 
"Be good for me and let me clean you first kitten." He whispered.
No other words were shared as you both rinsed and washed each other off before moving to the onsen.
"You know, I've always wanted to fuck you in a hot spring." Satoru smirked as you both dipped into the water. You sat on his lap and clasped your hands behind his neck, straddling him. His hands gripping either side of you waist tightly. 
"No I don't know." You turned away from him as you rested your head against his chest. He hummed. Both of you resting for a bit. You were both in the same state, antsy for action, but trying to enjoy the hot springs at the same time. 
For a while you both just stayed soaking in the hot water. Until you started grinding down against him. He just stared down at your figure. Breasts spilling against his chest, the slope of your s line with your ass under the water. But you refused to meet his eyes.
Satoru didn't really like that very much. He pinched your thigh hard. "Ow!,' you yelped. "Toru what was-" you finally turned to look up at him, but faltered and stopped moving. His eyes were bright and his expression dark. "I thought my baby was going to be good for me tonight. You don't wanna beg me later just to come right? Or does daddy have to make you do just that?"
As soon as he said the word daddy you felt your insides clench around nothing, thighs quivering. He looked down towards your body, grinning at your response. He pulled you out of the water, sitting down on the ground beside it. 
"Suck me off baby and I'll consider making you cum."
You crawled over on all fours towards him. You kissed him first, then trailed downwards, licking off the water and sweat on Satoru's abs and the outlines of his hard muscles. He groans while staring at you, pupils blown so wide his bright blue eyes actually look dark for once. 
You can see the carnal lust raging behind him as you squeeze your breasts together while kneeling and licking his abs. You leave small butterfly kisses as you slowly make your way down to his aching member.
But, he groans as you skip past it and suck love marks into his lower thighs. "Pumpkin, please -UNGH, p-please don't tease so much." Satoru groaned. You smirked up at him, meeting his eyes while sticking your tongue out and licking one of his balls. Sucking it into your mouth and covering it with your spit.
He reached down to lift your chin up, thumbing your lips as he watched the saliva trickle down down side of your mouth to his fingers. The current sight of you is so lewd and dirty that Satoru almost came on the spot right there. 
You decide to humor him and move to licking the head of his dick, while grabbing a hold of the base and slowly pumping it up and down. Satoru threw his head back. He looked up, seeing the night sky and the stars twinkling while feeling hot pleasure run through his body. He felt like he was floating.
You tried deepthroating all of him in one go, but he was just too big. "Baby, your mouth is too small for daddy's cock isn't it?". You whimpered in response. Trying to swallow as much of him as you can while using your hand for the remainder of his length.
Quiet mewls escaped the sides of your mouth as you opened your aching jaws wider. Tears started running down your face. You didn't stop as you relaxed your jaw and took more of him, swallowing what you can while pumping. He bucked up without warning, causing your gag reflex to react. Then he pulled you off.
"That's enough for now. I wanna make sure I stuff every bit of cum I have inside of your pussy baby." He pulled you up over him, this time with his back to the floor as he spoke. 
"Lemme eat you out, I've been waiting for this all day." He was salivating at the sight of your pussy, positioned in front of his face. You lowered yourself onto him slowly. Impatiently, he tugged you waist down, smashing your lower lips against his mouth. You let out a loud yelp followed by heavy breaths and mewls as he ate you out.
Thrusting his tongue in and out of your walls. He loved the taste of you, always thirsty for more. You tried to grind your pussy against his face. But he held your legs in place with one arm, wrapping around your behind. The other hand was playing with your clit. 
In no time at all you were sobbing and cumming all over his face. Satoru didn't spare you one second of rest. He pulled away and lined himself up, pushing into you during your orgasm. 
He immediately started fucking into you earnestly, grabbing a hold of your waist and lifting it to pull you on and off his cock. "Toru, it's too much for me, I can't-" You could barely get the words out of your mouth as you slurred them out with your eyes shut. 
"Yes you can. I know you can. Because you're made for me and only you can do a good job for me like this love." Satoru grunted as he pumped into you like there was no tomorrow. 
He loved it when your walls clenched and squeezed against him tightly. Especially when your whole body shook during an orgasm. Whenever you open your eyes all you can see are the stars blurring due to your movements. You both came like that, with your backs arching. His cock stayed hard, twitching as it spurted and filled you up. 
He suddenly felt the sensation of eyes on him. As the user of six eyes, his senses were wide alert at ALL times. He looked to the side of the wooden wall, and saw dark eyes staring back at him.
He didn't stop thrusting. You whined and mewled as you ground your hips against his. "Fuck, such a slut for me. Love it when you cry and make those noises babe. Just look at me. I won't look at any other person, man or woman. I'm yours as long as you're mine." He growled out.
He pulled out to reposition you. Dragging your body on top of his. Your back against his chest. "Daddy, I want you. I want more!" You whined out. You positioned his cock at your entrance.
"Daddy will give his baby what she wants. You've been so good to me after all love." He smirked inwardly pushed back upwards into you, thrusting at a fast pace. (Satoru chose the position because he knew you were both being watched. He loves to make other men so jealous of him having you).
You could only squeal and try to hold yourself up against him, putting your palms against the floor. But it was no use. He grabbed your thighs and kept fucking up harder and harder, making it hard for you to hold onto anything.
"Yes just like that baby. You're so good to me. You don't need to think. I'll make it so that you don't have to do anything else. You only need to feel my cock yeah? My doll is the best when she is crying on my cock." He moaned out. 
The man on the other side of the wall was joined by a few other men. Satoru used his ability to see through the wall following the movement of their cursed energy and saw that they were touching themselves to you.
"Daddy, please more. Daddyyy~" you were slipping further into subspace. Soon you couldn't speak clearly anymore. Just babbling nonsense while bouncing on Satoru's lap and staring hazily up at the sky.
"I think we have company." He laughed out. You snapped out of your haze to see peeking eyes behind the bamboo sticks. Satoru just thrusted harder. "Let's give them a show of their lifetime hmm? I spy old men wanting some action. But they won't be able to touch you baby."
He reached up with one hand to grope your breast and the other stayed below to play with your clit. Sex to him was almost like an art form. He knew exactly how to play with your body to bring you to your strongest orgasms. 
You tried to cover your body up but he pulled your arms away. "Don't run away baby, daddy's here to protect you. It will be okay."
At the end of the day you trusted him and his six eyes, so you let go. Pussy clenching harder at the thought of being watched by unknown strangers.
"That's it, my angel. So good for me. You're leaking far more than normal slut. You like it when people watch you get fucked?"
He reached up with his cum stained hand to spit into it. Then shoved his fingers in your mouth. You obediently suckled on and cleaned his fingers for him. He continued to grope you as he pounded away.
Satoru wasn't too worried about the spectators next door. He can see them clearly. Several middle aged men (probably sharing a larger room) messily jerking off to both of you. He saw the way their eyes travelled across your breasts and cunt, which was oozing with his cum.
He hit a hard deep spot inside of you which caused you to squirt hard, a large amount of liquid spraying out. Satoru quickly put his hands over your clit and furiously rubbed at it, wanting to prolong your squirting. You were crying out loud at this point. It was just music to his ears.
One man groaned out, causing you to tense and tighten and Satoru to moan out.
"You love putting a show on huh baby? We should do this more often if it gets you tighter and wetter around me." He snarked out while you drooled and asked for more.
He didn't stop thrusting until he came a few more times inside of you, changing positions.
The men watched as you rode him, your breasts bouncing up and down, while you placed your palms flat on Satoru's chest. They stared at the cum flowing out of your pussy, being fucked back into you by Satoru. The way you both groaned as you clamped down tight and milked his cock.
Soon you found yourself laying on your side with one leg up with Satoru spooning you from behind. What was frightening was his stamina and power. 
His thrusts never lost strength and soon you just felt like his cock was drilling a space inside of you, just for it. You felt so boneless in his hands when you both finished, laying down on your sides.
"Babe…. You okay? We need to clean up." Satoru whispered against your shoulder.
You could only mumble incoherent noises. Squeezing around his softening length, still plugged inside of you to keep his cum inside. 
Satoru gave out a soft sigh. Then gathered you into his arms and took you away from prying eyes. He just turned and smirked at them as he walked away with you, butt naked.
The watchers were disappointed that the show was over. Satoru then cleaned you both with the shower head in the washing area and wiped you down with soft towels.
You stayed silent the whole time. Your head felt like it was in the clouds. Just letting Satoru do his way with you like a doll. "You were really good for me tonight angel. Nobody else can touch you but me." He chuckled darkly.
You just listened to his simple commands such as putting your arms up when he dressed you in your nightgown. 'I always love fucking her dumb.' He smiled to himself as he settled you into his arms in bed. 
"Next time I'll be fucking you in the water." He whispered. He brought you closer to him, tucking your head against his neck. Kissing your forehead and patting you to put you to sleep. 
🎇🎇🎇
The next morning you were absolutely horrified to see people staring at you, when you both left your room to check out. 'I bet they heard us last night. And who were the ones peaking at us?!?!' you frightfully thought to yourself.
Satoru didn't really care. Smiling brightly at the attendants and thanking them for your amazing stay at the inn. 
"Toru I really enjoyed my stay, but it's hard to be happy now knowing that we did it at the expense of our neighbours stay." You whispered, hitting him. "Darling I'm pretty sure they enjoyed the show." He winked at you, shameless as ever.
Suffice to say, you decided not return to said hot springs for a while out of shame.
End notes: 🙈 this fic started because I just thought of Satoru's abs wet with steam and sweat but it evolved during the last edit. Hope you guys enjoyed! Reblogs and comments are very much appreciated 💜
All rights reserved to Limitlessgojo.
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spencersawkward · 3 years
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*concussions and confessions//spencer reid*
summary: a near-death experience encourages Spencer to admit his feelings for his best friend, even at the risk of ruining their relationship.
pairing: Fem!Reader/Spencer
content warnings: oh boy there’s a lot. i’ll start with the nonsexual ones-- choking (again, not sexual), blunt force, violence, some angst. ok time for the fun ones-- unprotected penetrative sex, masturbation, sex dream, oral (male receiving), slight dirty talk, creampie. lmk if there are more that i missed! 
word count: 5.4k
A/N: hi omg so i actually combined two requests for this bc i loved the concepts and i didn't wanna do one and not the other. i hope i do both of these justice hehe thanks for sending them! also sorry if the unsub scene sucks-- i don’t usually write that way, so i tried my best. 
request(s): omg if you need ideas for baby spence can you do a one shot where he's the girls best friend (she's not in the bau) and they are in love but neither of them admit it and he is really hurt in a case or almost dies or something traumatic and only when he gets back they confess their love... and then have sex 😏 ive been thinking about this concept alot 😌
can’t stop thinking about baby spencer (like s2-s4) & his girl best friend losing their virginity to each other... can you write a one shot on this please?
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"when are you coming back?" you ask over the line. you're lying on your bed, legs in the air while you talk to your best friend. it's been a long day for you, but a longer day for him. it's always a longer day for him. 
"you know that I don't know the answer to that question." Spencer's voice is soft as he attempts to keep quiet. he's two hours ahead and, despite the fact that you're both night owls, the person he's rooming with tonight isn't. 
"I know, but there's this Korean film festival that starts tomorrow and I was hoping you would be here to translate for me." you examine your nails while you talk. Spencer lets out a disappointed sigh. 
it's only been a few days since he left, but it's been a week since you last saw him and it feels like a long time. whenever he's not at work, you two are joined at the hip. ever since you first met a few years back at a poetry convention in DC, it feels like he's the only person who understands you. which is weird, because you couldn't be more different as individuals. 
"you should bring one of your other friends." 
"bold of you to assume I have other friends." you joke. Spencer chuckles to himself and your heart flutters. you love his laugh more than anything in the world. 
"I thought that was just me." he says. 
"oh, it is just you," you reply flatly. "I was trying to make you feel better."
you can practically feel Spencer smiling through the phone. although you tease him pretty frequently, he's sometimes able to get in his own shots. it's what makes your friendship interesting.
"hey," you add before he can say anything more. "how's the case going?" 
Spence starts to detail the whole thing, and you listen intently, the timbre and smoothness of his voice comforting you as you slip beneath the covers of your bed. you like the way he enunciates his words, his strange manner of speaking, because it lulls you to sleep. 
you know he's talking about horrible things, but something about the sound comforts you deeply. when he's not around, you're wishing you had it bottled up. 
he lays out their profile as it stands, and you fall silent. it's getting pretty late and you have to be up early for work tomorrow, so it would be a good idea to get some real rest. plus, Spencer needs to sleep, too-- even though he probably won't. 
you remember times when he'd call you at three in the morning, his mind whirring as he played chess against himself and asked if you wanted to hang out so he could teach you how. you hate chess, but of course you said yes; you'd been head over heels with him since your first conversation.
eventually, you feel yourself start to drift off. you don't even really know what he's saying; all of it blends together until you're laying there, one cheek pressed to the pillow and the receiver against the other. 
"Y/N?" he says your name abruptly and your eyes, which have been slowly drawing shut this whole time, fly open. 
"yeah?" 
"go to bed."
"what? no, I'll wait until you're done." you shift. 
"I could hear your breathing change." 
"then why didn't you just hang up?" you giggle. he goes silent for a moment and you wonder if he cut out, but then he responds. 
"I wanted to say goodnight." 
it's like a cage of butterflies is unleashed in your stomach. you wrinkle your nose as you get nervous. god, you miss him. things would be so much better if he was back. not like he'd be in your bed even if he was, though.  
"then say goodnight." you prod. he lets out an awkward little sound. 
"now I can't because you made it weird." 
"how did I make it weird?" 
"I don't know, you just did." he's so clumsy, your face heats up. you want to keep talking like this until morning.
"goodnight, Spence," the words sound reluctant, but you try to cover it up by teasing him further. "see, was that so bad?" 
"oh my god, Y/N--" he tries to sound exasperated. 
"no goodnight back?" you raise an eyebrow even though he can't see you right now.  
a lengthy silence again. "goodnight."
"that's what I thought." before he can protest, you end the call, settle into the covers. moonlight beams on the walls of your apartment, and you start to think about your best friend. about all the nights spent curled up on his couch with two bowls of popcorn, his ramblings about how much he loves his job and him asking about yours. 
he's a great listener. every time you talk, he nods along like he's hanging off every word. it's nice to feel heard that way, to have someone care. and he's fun to hang out with, too. you've met his team before and they all talk about how hard it is to get him to go out, but they don't see the same side of him that you do. 
Spencer is nerdy and cute and kind and sensitive. he makes you feel special. he's everything that you've ever wanted in a person. but it's not like it would matter, anyway. he hasn't really shown interest in any girls-- much less you. even if he did, you're scared of ruining the friendship. 
the fallout of not having him around at all... it would destroy you. and something, even if it's torturous, is better than nothing. 
which is why, as you sit there and remember being around him, your fingertips creep below the comforter. a familiar routine, they move over your stomach, until they reach the waistband of your panties. for a moment, you hesitate. it's wrong. he's your best friend. but he doesn't need to know that this is how you handle the ache he puts between your legs. 
as your index finger slides down your slit, you feel the wetness already forming. Spencer's hands, his mouth. the thought of his lips pressed to yours while he fucks you, holding your body like it's delicate. 
you don't know exactly how it would feel because you've never had sex, but you want to find out with him. he's never done it, either. you don't care; all you need is to have him inside of you, to see how he looks when he's on the edge. 
your mind wanders to the image of him parting your legs and rolling his eyes into the back of his head. the sensation of him filling you up. falling apart. 
you slide a finger inside, gasping at the way your walls tighten and your imagination runs wild. that tongue, lapping and making you squirm, your fingers twisted in his soft hair. he's so sweet; his attentiveness would make your legs shake. you want to look into his eyes while he does it. 
you add a second finger, curl them and brush over the most sensitive part. the pressure of his hips grinding into yours. your body curves up at the way you start to finger yourself, the other hand stimulating your clit. it's almost overwhelming, the way his name tumbles from your lips over and over. 
you've never wanted someone so badly in your life; he belongs in your bloodstream. the sounds he would make in your ear before finally cumming and collapsing on top of you, spent. you want to tire him out and then do it all over again. 
you're greedy on the edge, indulging in every single image of him you can conjure up, every dirty thing you'd say. finally, you feel yourself fall, the orgasm intense as you bite back groans of pleasure and work through the high. it's amazing. 
you sit there, panting, feeling your heart beat in your chest. some things can't leave your head, they're so sinful. and the worst part is that you don't regret it in the slightest. 
...
Spencer can feel his pulse practically leaping against his throat as he makes his way through the empty warehouse. he should have waited for backup; he knows he should have, but it's too late now to go back and change things. 
he clutches his gun, pointing it in front of him while his eyes flicker wildly across the space. he's moving between enormous aisles stuffed with crates, not knowing who else is around. they said the unsub brought his newest victim here-- Spencer came first because was closest to the site-- but he hears nothing aside from the uneven rhythm of his own breath. 
every step is careful. he's thinking about how close the rest of the team must be. based on their distance from the station, they should arrive within six minutes-- but that doesn't account for the time it takes to put on their bulletproof vests, to get to their cars. 
truthfully, he doesn't know if he's going to have to do this on his own. and that scares him the most. 
there's no point in worrying. he swallows the lump in his throat and presses his back to one of the crates. there's a scraping noise a ways off that causes him to freeze. because of the echoes of the warehouse, the origin is indiscernible. he doesn't breathe, eyes darting between each of the openings into the aisle. 
after a minute of pure silence, he peels himself away and turns to head back out. 
and that's when the sound of wood cracking against bone startles him; he hears it before he feels it, but it's obvious when he crumples to the floor. like knife points pressing into his brain at all angles, the shooting agony in his skull. 
he starts to clutch at his head, only to be yanked off the ground by a meaty hand and thrown against the side of a crate. 
"fucking feds." the guy is enormous. gargantuan. he keeps his arm across Reid's throat, pressing down enough to restrict his airway. but Spencer can't even concentrate on the guy's face further than its rough outlines. his vision is going in and out, fuzzy at the edges from the blow to his head. 
he definitely has a concussion. 
"I..." he trails off. the huge FBI logo on his vest is a dead giveaway. 
"all alone?" the unsub has breath like rotten fish, spits each word into his face. "I won't even need my gun." 
Spencer's head lolls to the side and he catches sight of his own weapon lying helplessly a few feet away. there's no way he could get to it in time, even if he got out of this guy's chokehold. 
he tries to think of a way to talk himself out of this; after all, their profile said he'd be more susceptible to negotiation, but that's kind of hard to do with someone's forearm slammed against your trachea. he presses harder and Spencer sees stars. his glasses hang almost off the bridge of his nose, centimeters from falling to the floor. 
he starts to realize that he's going to die, defenseless and alone, in a warehouse. at the hands of a man who kills women because his Viagra doesn't work. but this doesn't incite the kind of panic Spencer always predicted he'd feel. the lack of oxygen in his brain causes him to go delirious. 
he misses home. his mom and his old house, even though things were hard. he misses Y/N, his team members. he wishes his team was here; he should have waited for them. he should have told Y/N how he feels. now she's never going to know. 
Reid is so out of it, he doesn't even notice the pressure being relieved from his throat until he collapses on the ground. the unsub falls, too, his cheek smashed by the force of the abandoned wooden plank. 
it's hard to tell what's happening until Reid lifts his head to see Morgan standing above him, preparing to handcuff the criminal.
"kid," Spencer never thought he'd be so glad to hear his voice. "what happened?"
...
you practically crash into Spencer's apartment the next evening, flinging your body through the front door with your spare key. 
"Spence?" you call out from the entryway. everything still looks the same, but when his colleague, Penelope, called you today to tell you that Reid had gotten a concussion after a run-in with an unsub, you rushed here as soon as you could. 
"in here." he calls from his bedroom. you don't hesitate, your feet carrying you there. you've been anxious all day; he didn't call last night or even text like usual. you were on the verge of panicking when Penelope called. 
of course, you knew that was the risk with Spencer. he knew the risk, too. his life would always be in the balance when it came to the cases, but he'd gone through so many at this point, you weren't thinking about it. if you did, you wouldn't be able to focus on anything else. 
when you walk in, the first thing you see is Spencer laying in bed in his silk pjs. there's a stack of unread books on his bedside table. his glasses sit on top. he's just laying there with his eyes closed. 
"oh my god." you mutter, dropping your bag on the floor and walking over. he opens his eyes with a slight smile. there's a purple bruise forming across his throat, light but definitely there.  
"hi." 
"what the fuck happened?" you ask the question you've been wondering the whole way here. 
"he hit me with a plank." Spencer explains, the phrase coming out like he's still confused about it. "I'm fine, just a mild concussion and a bruise because he choked me." 
you take a second to assess if he actually means that he's okay, or if he's trying not to worry you. he stares at your expression for a second. 
"Y/N, I'm really fine." 
"you don't look fine." you gesture to the fact that he's laying in bed. 
"my body is sore, but nothing's wrong with me. I just can't look at screens or read." this last part makes him much more melancholy, it seems. you reach down and ruffle his hair playfully. 
"sounds like a nightmare." 
"it is." he cracks up. 
"I'm glad you're okay." you sigh. your heart rate has slowed to a reasonable pace now that you know he's fine. Spencer gives a ghost of a smile, and when he pats the empty spot on the bed beside him, you kick off your shoes and climb over his body to sit down. "so... did you guys get him?" 
"the unsub?" he turns his head to look at you. something is in his eyes that you can't read. "yeah, he's in custody. we saved the girl he abducted, too." 
"well, aren't you a hero?" you grin, pinching his arm. 
"ow!" he flinches. "don't hurt the patient."
"oh, so now you're injured?" you giggle softly. his smile fades a bit, gaze trailing from your face to your legs. it isn't lustful or anything, more like he's taking in your existence. it still makes your heart flutter. 
"I wasn't really a hero, anyway," he sighs. "I got knocked down before I even found her." 
"oof." you wince. 
"yeah, it's sort of embarrassing. I went in by myself and--"
"you went by yourself?" you clarify, turning to face him. of course he did. 
"yeah." he avoids your gaze. 
"Spencer, I work in a stationery shop and I know you're supposed to wait for backup." you deadpan. he snorts, staring straight ahead at the wall. his hair is flat in the back from where he's been resting it against the headboard. 
"he would have hurt her if I had waited." he explains. your heart softens a bit at this. you know Spencer has a problem with saving people; sometimes he doesn't think things through. but you know that it's only because he cares. 
you smile gently, appreciating what a beautiful person he is. you don't understand how other people don't see him how you do. your hand reaches for his suddenly, and you find yourself snuggling into his shoulder. 
Spencer doesn't usually like touch, but he welcomes this, dropping his own head to rest on top of yours while you both stare at the wall. his silence feels heavy, more than it usually does, and you wonder what he's thinking. 
"I'm really glad you're okay, Spencer." your tone is low, like it's a secret. 
"you already said that." 
"shut up." 
"you care about me." he sing-songs with a smile, and you know he means it in a friendly way, but you don't care. it brings warmth to your cheeks. 
"whatever. you care about me, too." 
he lets out a slight chuckle. "when I started to black out, I thought of you." 
your heart leaps, even though the reason is pretty dark. "oh, yeah?"
"mhmm." he hums. 
"nobody's ever told me that they thought of me in their last moments of life before." you tease. there are so many things you'd like to say, but know you can't. he smells like himself and coffee beans, his skin warm beneath the silk of his pajamas. 
"I'd hope not."
"anything in particular?" you wonder aloud. 
"what?" you feel him tense beneath you, and that's how you know there's something he's not telling you. 
"were you thinking about anything in particular?" 
"someone's full of themselves." he jokes. you smack his arm.  
"humor me." more than anything, you want to hear his thoughts. you know you're reaching, but you don't care. 
"just..." he pauses, the next words coming out almost too quietly to hear. "things I never got to say to you." 
"like?" now you're intrigued. 
"no way." he laughs and you groan, turning and realizing that you've both sunk deeper onto the bed and are now practically lying down. 
"c'mon," you prod. you've flipped onto your side while you watch him, his eyes directed at the ceiling. "what if you'd actually died?" 
Spencer gives you a look, and you wish you could snap a picture of his face. the gentle features, the warmth in his eyes. he stares at you differently than before, and it makes your stomach flip again. "I, um." 
you start to trace your index absently down his forearm, where his sleeve has incidentally gotten rolled up. his skin is soft. you know that this isn't a friendly thing to do, but something inside you craves his touch right now. you almost lost him; you can't imagine how horrible that would be. 
"I wanted to say that I--" he gulps, muscles in his shoulder tight beneath your cheek. "well, I care about you, and I... I really love you." 
it's not the first time he's said it, obviously in a platonic sense. what affects you is that he's acting like it's a big deal. 
"I love you too, Spence." you smile softly. his chest rises and falls faster, his face tensed. 
"no, I mean--" he turns onto his side, using the action to distract from his own nervousness. he holds your gaze and you forget how to breathe as he speaks. every syllable is serious, but you note his fingers fidgeting at his side. "I'm in love with you." 
it's like all the air in the room has been sucked out. you swallow, unsure of how to react at first. you don't believe what you're hearing, simply because it doesn't make sense. you've been friends for a while, now, but Spencer has never made a move to ask you out or acted like he wanted anything more. 
your heart swells. 
"you're in love with me?" the words even feel surreal on your tongue. he takes it as rejection.
"I shouldn't have said that, I'm sorry." Spencer rubs his eyes with the heels of his hands, his expression turning to a cringe. he's about to sit up to hide the red in his cheeks, but you pull him back down by the shoulder. 
"not so fast, crazy boy." the corners of your mouth are turning up into a grin. you can't help it; every nerve in your body is alive. Spencer loves you. he feels the same way. 
when he sinks back down onto the mattress and sighs, preparing to say something that rescinds the statement to erase any awkwardness, you grab his face and turn it to yours. you don't kiss him, only force him to look. 
"I'm in love with you, too." 
his eyebrows fly up in surprise. "r-really?"
"yes." you nod. 
he takes a second to process this. you see about five different expressions pass over his face, each one reminding you of how earnest he is. and it's absolutely adorable. 
"well, that's good, isn't it?" he clarifies. you pretend to think on it. 
"I'd say so, yeah." 
he smiles. a genuine, rare one that makes your veins feel as if they're full of glitter. you're on Cloud 9. 
"can I kiss you?" you ask him quietly. he seems surprised at this, too, like he never thought you'd want that, but then nods eagerly. 
you close the gap between you on the bed, holding his jaw in one hand while the other rests on his forearm. your lips meet softly at first. he's cautious, scared of pushing you away. he hasn't kissed many people before. but he's good at it, letting you take the lead. 
there's no way to adequately describe kissing Spencer. every bone in your body turns to mush, immediately craving more contact. you slide your tongue across his full bottom lip, and he lets you in. his affection is the most loved you've ever felt. because sure, you haven't had sex, but you've kissed people before. 
never like this. 
one of his hands goes up to wrap around your forearm tenderly before he shifts to lie on his side. you wrap around each other, turning the kiss into a full-body embrace as you breathe in. you want more. your leg swings over his torso so you can pull yourself closer, and he groans into your mouth when your pelvis presses against his. 
the kiss gets more heated, his hands carefully but hungrily traveling down the curve of your waist. you flip so that you're straddling him without breaking any contact. 
you don't really think about the way your hips begin to rock against his, your pussy involuntarily working for friction. there are so many happy chemicals in your brain right now, you giggle against his mouth when his body bucks up into yours. he groans. 
"Y/N..." he breathes softly. his hands move from your waist to your thighs, afraid to dig his fingertips in. 
"what?" you sigh, licking over his bottom lip again. he moans at the way you keep grinding on his erection. 
"I wanna--" his eyelashes flutter when he gasps. "I wanna touch you." 
"do it." your palm is resting tenderly against his cheek. he responds by finally holding you down, sliding his body up a bit to grind against your center. you whine. "touch whatever you want, Spencer." 
his cock twitches in his pants and you push the hem of his shirt up while he uses one hand to massage your tits. the voracious, curious nature of his attention makes you sigh, touching his stomach. he feels perfect beneath you. 
soon you're grabbing at each other without any regard for grace. he's so horny, he's pawing at whatever he can while you do the same to him. the kissing gives way to straight panting while you look at each other. 
"can I suck your dick?" you whisper. Spencer's eyes widen. you've never seen him nod so fast. 
you press your mouth to his one more time before inching down his body, sucking on his clavicle, then his stomach. careful to avoid the purple marks on his neck. he watches you intently, memorizing the details of this moment for later. when you reach the waistband of his pants, you peek up. he strains against the material. 
your mouth drops open and you draw your tongue over the clothed bulge, maintaining eye contact. Spencer throws his head back. his voice is high. "oh my god, oh my god." 
you smirk, licking it again. he clenches his jaw. "I'm gonna c-cum if you don't--" he tries for words, but he's mewling and moving against your mouth. you pull at his pants, hooking your fingers in his boxers and bringing them down, too. 
Spencer bucks into the air when his cock hits his stomach. it's big, precum leaking helplessly out of the tip while he whines. you want him now. 
"wow." you smile. he stares at you, tensing his stomach as you wrap your hand around his length. he's trying to keep quiet, but as soon as you spit on it and start to pump him, his head falls back into the pillow. 
you draw your tongue up the underside, paying special attention to the veins, reveling in his reactions. he looks like he's ascending to heaven when you start to suck on the first couple inches.  
"o-oh, fuck..." he keeps moving his hips off the bed for more, so you sink down further onto him, hollowing your cheeks and moaning. "Y/N..." 
you groan in response, feeling yourself get wetter with every sound he makes. you can't believe this is happening, the way he threads his fingers loosely through your hair in an attempt to touch more of you.
he tries to keep his eyes open while you suck, but they squint with pleasure. he's a mess for you, shuddering gently when you take nearly all of him into your mouth. 
before he can cum, you pull your mouth off of him with a satisfying pop. Spencer moans. 
"was that okay?" you ask carefully. this is the extent of your sexual experience, and you want to do more with him, but you aren't sure how he feels. your best friend stares back at you like you've turned his world upside down. 
"y-yeah," he replies. his face is flushed. "definitely okay."
he's throbbing, occasionally twitching against his stomach as he waits for more stimulation. you eye him carefully. 
"what do you feel comfortable doing?" your voice is smooth. "we can stop now, if you'd like." 
"I--" he chokes on the word. "I don't wanna stop." 
"do you want to have sex?" you ask. Spencer bites his lip, whines. 
"mhmm." 
"I wanna do that, too," you breathe out, straightening up and pulling your shirt over your head, unclasping your bra, before getting to work on your shorts. you know you're practically dripping. he's been more vocal, but you feel like you're going to implode from the desire. "but I need to tell you something." 
"what?" he tugs your arm, coaxing you back to him and touching you greedily. you giggle as you kick your shorts and panties off somewhere in the room. both of you move like awkward teenagers. 
"I'm a virgin." you say. 
Spencer frowns. "really?" 
"yeah," you lick your lips. "so you need to be careful." 
"o-of course." he blushes, getting nervous again. "you know I'm a virgin too, right?"
"I know." you smile. he returns it sweetly, and the commotion of your bodies slows for a moment. you're so happy, you could cry. 
"what?" he breaks the comfortable silence. 
"I'm excited," you shrug. he's got his hands on your waist, rubbing his fingertips over your skin. then you remember something. "wait, are you allowed to have sex with your... injury?" 
"it's fine." he reaches up and kisses your throat with an urgency. 
"did the doctor say that?" your eyes roll while he sucks on your neck. he groans and pulls down on your waist so that your stomach presses against his cock. he ruts. 
"second opinion from me." he pants. you tap his cheek playfully, move up his body until your core brushes him. he whimpers when you reach between your bodies and grip his length in your hands. 
"you ready?" your voice is low. Spencer squeezes your thighs, eyes moving between your tits and your face. 
"yes." he sighs. you position it, slicking him in your pussy while he wraps an arm around your waist and moans for more. your chests are pressed together, looking into each other's eyes while you slide him into you. 
you have to go slow, the intrusion causing your jaw to drop. you don't breathe. he's got his eyes rolled into the back of his head.  
"Spencer." you whimper, dropping your head onto his chest when he's fully inside of you. his fingers rub patiently over your back. 
"are you okay?" his voice is laced with a moan, trying to resist thrusting. 
"yeah, just a second." you wiggle a little bit to test the boundaries. it hurts, but it also feels good. your clit is begging for more pressure, so you start to roll your hips. Reid moans loudly. 
"Y/N..." he whimpers. "don't stop." 
"you want more?" the need in his voice makes you hornier, and you increase the pace, despite the slight pain. you're so wet, he slides in and out without much effort. 
"so-- much more." he's gasping, hands on your thighs as he watches your naked body writhe on top of him. he's never been more aroused in his life, spurred on by your scent and form and the tightness that keeps clenching around his cock.
he understands why people love sex so much, now. he wants it every day, wants to fuck you in every position and pleasure you. the sounds you release in his ear, whines and praises, he would do anything for more. walk to the ends of the earth to feel you cum on his cock. 
his hand finds your ass, squeezes it. 
"this feel good, Spence? fucking your best friend?" you talk dirty and he twitches. you're always so sweet, the words coming out of your mouth for him are going to send the genius into a tailspin. 
"mhmm," he holds you down so that he can thrust up. speaking at all is a struggle with the way he's feeling. "perfect." 
you start to say something else, but he hits a certain angle and you let out a quiet yelp, hips jumping at the pleasure. "I'm gonna cum." 
Spencer gets a rush of relief because it's taking everything in him right now not to absolutely lose it inside your pussy. he's hanging on by a thread. "me, too." 
you use your position on top to stimulate yourself. both of you chase your orgasms roughly, the rhythm you created degenerating into clawing excitement. 
"cum inside me, Spencer." you beg him. it sounds like you would do anything to feel it, that sensation that you've never experience but have always imagined. and Spencer, his own head foggy with ecstasy, nods and opens his mouth to let out a loud groan. 
"Y/N, fuck fuck fuck-- I'm--" he shoots his load inside of you, rutting wildly and letting his head drop onto the pillow while he pants. you can feel it. strange, lovely jolts of his seed spreading. your hands, which have been resting on his shoulders, tighten and you reach your climax. you flutter around him, both of you still moving to ease the intensity of the high. 
it's remarkable. you're crying out, having the most mind-blowing orgasm of your life. you never thought your first time would be like this. but you're glad it is, muscles tightening and releasing with the mixture of emotions. 
you collapse fully, him still inside. 
neither of you speaks. his heartbeat thuds against your ear, and you hold onto him like letting go would be the end of the world. you can't believe you could have lost him. you don't want to think about it. 
"sorry I came so fast." Spencer apologizes breathlessly. you can feel his cum dripping down your entrance when he slides out. 
"I don't care." you mumble. both of you stay there for a while, his heartbeat changing to a pace that reminds you of genuine excitement. like a hummingbird. 
"we can try again, sometime." he offers. you lift your head to rest your chin on his chest. his skin is flushed, pupils dilated, hair messy. such a pretty boy. 
"we should try multiple times." 
he gives you a cheerful smile, and everything starts to fall into place. you took each other's virginity. "Y/N?" 
he likes to say your name, and you love to hear it. "yes?" 
"are we dating?" the bluntness of the question makes you giggle. you don't hesitate. 
"yeah." 
“good.”
taglist (lmk if you wanna be added/removed!): @reidsconverse @voidsfilm @xoxomgg​ 
1K notes · View notes
vad-hander · 3 years
Text
• Pairing: Jaebeom x reader
• Genre: smut, fluff
• Warnings: established relationships, dom!Jaebeom sub!reader switched positions, teasing, orgasm denial, unprotected sex
• Words: 10k
“My kink is you wearing these jeans and a dress shirt, why’d you make me suffer from orgasm denial in the past 4 hours?” you moaned quietly to not make anyone else hear it in case someone was behind the door. “I didn’t know you were this needy.” he smirked pecking your lips quickly. “Want to see?” your hand landed on top of his palm, trying to slide it down to the center of your body.
Youngjae’s generous invitation for Jaebeom & you to visit his musical made you more excited than you ever thought it would. The two of you just got out of a 14 days quarantine you had to undergo after returning to Korea and this was meant to be your first post-quarantine event, let alone the fact the two of you haven’t been anywhere in what felt like ages.
You watched Jaebeom put his tight black jeans on, which itself was an event for you. He didn’t let happen too often with wearing baggy pants but you never really cared what he wore, you never even had the thought of commanding him on what to wear and what not, but the view of his legs wrapped in a black jeans material gave your body and ecstatic shock wave making your core throb from a single glance. Before meeting Jaebeom you never thought the view of someone’s legs could make you feel the things you felt but the reality of being in love hit you every time you caught yourself finding things that were normal to you regarding other people but were filled with sexiness when it was about Jaebeom. These thoughts always gave you a mental reminder you never were in love with anyone as much you were with him. The slight smirk on your lips was caught by his stare and he turned around to face you, moving his, actually long, legs towards you.
“What’s up with the smirk?” he gifted you a smile trying to lightly pinch your cheek by sliding his middle and index finger over it. “You’re ready?”
“Yes boo.” the nickname made Jaebeom smile wider and his hand slid onto your neck, gripping lightly to move your head closer to press a small kiss in the corner of your lips.
“You’re cute.” he smiled letting go.
“The urge of taking these pants off your legs is making me act up.” you joked making him chuckle.
“We can’t be late, you’ll have to wait.” Jaebeom slid his hand down your shoulder to intertwine your fingers and pull you to come with him.
“I know you’re lying, nothing would stop you usually. You don’t like me?” you mixed up a dramatic and cute looks making Jaebeom laugh at your obvious bad acting.
“You know this was bad, right?” you simply nodded chuckling lightly agreeing with him.
“Want to punish me?” you gave it one more shot getting a disappointed nod from your boyfriend.
“Now don’t expect to peacefully go to bed when we get back home.” he pecked your lips for the final time dragging you to go to the exit.
The musical was good, you liked going to theatres the only issue here was the fact you barely spoke Korean, and at first Jaebeom was trying to interpret a little but soon he gave up due to all those people around you constant staring and hissing. “It’s okay, you’ll tell me after it’s over, let’s see if what I guessed is any close to what it actually was.” you chuckled allowing Jaebeom to rest in his sit to fully focus on his friends acting.
A staff came crawling over your raw just a few minutes before everything ended asking you in a polite manner to follow him backstage and you two, excusing yourselves and bending as low as possible, exited the hall to a light corridor. The room was completely empty and Jaebeom took your hand in his. You held onto his fingers tightly appreciating him seeking for contact at any giving chance you had. Touching and any form of informal interaction was something you held back from doing due to Jaebeoms status in life. You always planned to pull the staff or the friend card if someone suspected anything and in order of doing it successfully you needed to act accordingly, you always acted accordingly. The only person to break the rule was Jaebeom and there was nothing better in life than feeling the adrenaline run through your veins when in a sudden move he’d take your hand or pull you in for a light kiss. You loved these moments and you lived for these moments. You lived for the moments when you could tease him to the state where he could barely hold himself back, to the state where he dragged you to the bathroom multiple times to bend or kneel you down to release the tension in his pants. He rarely acted bold but when he did he drove you insane. Light moves of his thumb over the skin on your palm were like the moves of a match on a matchbox, striking sparks down your core but he seemed casual about it.
“I think he’ll want to go to eat after this, will you want to go with us?” he drew your attention to his face.
“If I won’t go, you’ll come back late, I’ll be asleep already and then you won’t keep your promise, and your promise is the only thing I could think of through this whole time.” you said quietly in case the man that was leading you spoke English aswell.
“No, I would keep it even if I’d come at 3am.” light chuckle of his whispered tone was interrupted by the staff that finally told you to come into the room to wait for Youngjae.
“I wish we could go on other dates too. I’d like to see Jinki, I like him a lot.” you commented looking at all those posters hanging all over the walls.
“I’ll ask Youngjae about that.” he chuckled and pulled you to seat beside him. “So are you coming?”
“Did you agree with him to go without me?” you squeezed your eyes suspiciously.
“You’ll be bored, that’s it.”
“I won’t be, I’ll eat deliciously and then I’ll just stare at your beautiful side profile until you’d want to go home and get your beautiful profile deep between my legs. I won’t understand you two for the most part anyway, you can share your little secrets calmly.” you booped him on the nose finishing your sentence cutely.
“The more you say things like that the less I want to go anywhere except for going home and getting on top of you.” Jaebeom grabbed your neck moving you closer.
“That’s what I told you in the first place. My kink is you wearing these jeans and a dress shirt, why’d you make me suffer from orgasm denial in the past 4 hours?” you moaned quietly to not make anyone else hear it in case someone was behind the door.
“I didn’t know you were this needy.” he smirked pecking your lips quickly.
“Want to see?” your hand landed on top of his palm, trying to slide it down to the center of your body.
“No, no, no.” he moved back suddenly. “Don’t turn me on like that, don’t. Youngjae will come any second and I don’t want to have a boner in these tight jeans.”
“Well, not good for you.” you chuckled trying to get from Jaebeoms grip, and he only let go of you when he licked into your mouth multiple times.
Jaebeom was obviously right about the dinner and now the three of you were sitting at the private booth in the restaurant not too far from the place where you watched the musical. The food was good and it was the greatest gift you could receive in the time being. You were slowly running your eyes over Youngjae and Jaebeom, not really having much to add to the heated conversation they had. Mostly, due to the fact you barely could catch up on what they were saying, but as long as the food kept you occupied you were good. Inner urge to fish your phone out and just entertain yourself while scrolling was something you fought harshly, finding it a tad bit inappropriate and disrespectful. In search of things you could entertain yourself with you remembered your teasing game, which wasn’t initially a game, it was just your pure will, but since Jaebeom denied you, you had no other option left other than tease him to the state where he wouldn’t be able to fight back anymore.
Placing your chopsticks back to their designated place when you finished eating you sat back a little moving your legs closer to Jaebeoms. You bumped your knees accidentally , getting a warm smile from him before turning his attention back to Youngjae. Thanks to the seating with chairs Youngjae wasn’t able to see your legs and you were able to quietly put your palm over Jaebeoms knee. Your featherlight touch drew his attention back to you.
“You’re good?” his tone changed 180 from a casual one he spoke to Youngjae with to a caring sweet one when he spoke to you. A smile lit up your face and you guessed you looked like two disgusting idiots to Youngjae, you really didn’t want to be the annoying girlfriend that ruined the bros hang out.
“Yeah.” you pouted slightly and expected Jaebeom to give you a light peck, because he always did when you pouted, but he just nodded a quick no, saying sorry with his eyes. You moved a bit more closer to Jaebeom, resting your head on his shoulder, blinking blindly with your eyes running over the room. None of the boys paid any attention to what you did, so you just rested for a couple of minutes, listening to the words that left their mouths. The moment Jaebeom relaxed his body, that he tensed up the second you touched him, you knew it was the time to make him tense up again. Your hand lightly ran over his knee and it took all in you to hold back from chuckling at how fast Jaebeoms reaction to it was. He didn’t stop you and he didn’t give any visible to Youngjae reaction, so you just continued stroking his knee calmly, feeling him get used to and chill under the touch. Running your fingers up his leg you felt Jaebeoms hand on your thigh, gripping lightly to signal for you to stop. He still acted as if nothing was happening under the table, so you had to just bite your cheek to not draw attention. Jaebeom’s fingers ran up your bare skin, with the robe-like dress you wore he easily snaked his hand up without lifting your dress up, rubbing with his thumb your sensitive skin. The light touches of his fingers mixed with the feeling of cold metal from the rings he wore send warmth down to your core. You dug your nails into his thigh through material of his black jeans, trying to stop yourself from reacting too vividly.
“It’s your birthday?” Youngjae asked in English drawing your attention to him. You lifted your head from Jaebeoms shoulder, moving your head around confusedly trying to get yourself back together from those pleasures feelings.
“Huh?” you were taken aback by the sudden question and it showed on your face.
“You had your birthday a couple of days ago.” Jaebeom said with a slight smile on his lips from your reaction.
“Yeah, yeah. It was my birthday.” you ran your eyes from Jaebeom back to Youngjae.
“I have a gift.” he said in a cute tone, reaching out to his bag to find something.
“What?” you exclaimed excitedly. “You didn’t have to.” Youngjae straightened his back expanding his hand towards you. There was a small box that said ‘Gucci’ on it. “No, I can’t take it!” you exclaimed taking the box out of his hand. “What’s in there?” Jaebeom asked Youngjae the same question in korean for him to understand.
“Open.” Youngjae simply commanded and you pulled the top of the box up, revealing to you the gift wrapped in paper with a Gucci sticker on. You laid the box on the table to rip the sticker off and finally see what he got you.
“Thank you so much!” your hands revealed to your curious eyes a pretty card holder. “Look!” you exclaimed shoving it in Jaebeoms face. “This is nice.” you smiled at him and he nodded lightly taking the holder from your hand to check it out “Wow, Youngjae, thank you so much.” you ran your fingers over the material of the holder before letting go of it. “Can I hug you?” you asked politely in Korean. Youngjae nodded gifting you a light chuckle, before moving to stand up. You moved your chair too, noticing how Jaebeom moved his hand from your thigh to the back of your chair. His hand ran through your spine when you stood up and with Youngjae expanding his hands towards you there was no time for you to react to your boyfriends movements, hugging Youngjae tightly. “Thank you so much, you really didn’t have to.” you spoke in Korean again, using up all of your skills and knowledge for the sentence.
Right when you felt like the hug took longer than the both of you intended, you felt Jaebeoms fingers on your elbow, pulling you back to him. He coughed in his ordinary manner making you chuckle at the absurd display of jealousy and possessiveness as if you and Youngjae were showing any affection towards each other at all. Youngjae let go of you quicker than you expected, making you fall back into embrace of the guy that suddenly was in the mood to mark his territory. You felt his hand on the back of your chair again, lightly tapping your shoulder. You gave his knee a light punch as if telling him to stop and with Youngjaes silent chuckle they began talking again.
“Oh, I need to go, Coco is waiting for her walkie.” you heard Youngjae speak, turning your head to see Jaebeoms reaction.
“Yeah, you’re right, it’s pretty late.” he checked his lock screen “ I guess my pup is in need of a walk aswell.” he chuckled referring to you and Youngjae made a loud throaty laugh, making it die quickly when he noticed your death stares towards Jaebeom.
He kept his little game even after you paid, getting up and leaving he patted your head and said ‘let’s go’ with tapping his knee as if you were an actual pup. Jaebeoms face lit up with happiness when he heard Youngjaes laugh and you played along sticking your tongue out and bending your hands for two seconds when Youngjae turned away gaining an approving smile from Jaebeom, rolling your eyes at him afterwards.
Jaebeoms hands landed on your waist the second his feet entered the elevator behind you. His hands pushed you to turn around and before you could even see his face expression in the elevators mirror you were facing Jaebeom. Your eyes ran over his face noticing how he really tried hard to keep it expressionless. You smiled lightly, biting your lower lip. His hands were glued to your waist and you ran your hands up his, resting them over his neck.
“What?” you asked and he opened his mouth to answer, but the sound of the elevators door closing made you jump in his hands out of surprise and Jaebeom chuckled at your reaction.
“We didn’t press the floor button, did we?” he said letting go of you to do so. You nodded lightly and Jaebeom pulled you to his chest hugging tightly. You rested your head on his chest, snaking your hands over his warm body. “Where’s your gift?” he asked you suddenly making you realise you left it in the car.
“Da-a-mn.” you growled into his chest and Jaebeom’s hand squeezed your neck lightly.
“Are you tired or what?” he said, turning around when the elevator came to the needed floor. You chased after Jaebeom, catching his extended towards you palm, walking with holding on to his hand with both yours. He punched in the passcode to your door, pulling you to walk in with him and letting go of you to close the door.
You stood in front of the door watching him take his shoes off expecting Jaebeom to pay any attention to you, but he just walked forward, turning around to take a look at you. “Why you’re standing?” he made a real surprised face expression looking you up. You frowned, quickly taking the shoes off your feet. Walking in a quick pace past Jaebeom who was still standing and watching you, you punched him lightly into his side with your elbow, getting a light chuckle from him. Jaebeoms hands grabbed you by the waist mid-action, pulling you close to his back. “Needy.” he murmured into your shoulder, giving it a light bite.
“I thought we had an agreement.” you tried to push him off, but Jaebeoms grip was obviously stronger.
“I can’t even tease you for a second?” he chuckled lightly, caressing your stomach with his fingers. “You had fun through the whole evening and I’m not allowed to do it for a slight moment?” he whined to make you feel bad about your behaviour “That’s selfish.” Jaebeom turned you around in his arms, resting both of his palms on your cheeks. “Since when are you selfish?”
“Since when the only time I’m allowed to rule is when I’m teasing you in front of someone because you don’t like to pay attention to me in these circumstances. All other times you act like an insufferable dom, there’s nothing I’m allowed to do.” you sighed, licking your lips.
“I’m not... that much of a dom...” he said sounding like he might’ve doubted it himself.
“You are...” you nodded lightly and Jaebeom bit his lower lip with an apologetic grimace on his face.
“I’m sorry but I guess you should’ve told me two years ago you don’t like it. What took you so long?” he sighed lowering his hands back to your waist.
“I never said I don’t.” you tilted your head to the side, resting your hands on Jaebeoms broad shoulders.
“I see.” he chuckled lightly trying to contain his smile making the cute little face expression you liked so much. His cuteness made your heart clench at the same time with making your entire body warmer.
“So what?” your hands slowly made their way over to his stomach, caressing it with your fingertips.
“You wanted to rule, so rule.” Jaebeom suggested. You stayed silent to see his further actions but he just stood calmly staring back at you. “Come on, my patience won’t last forever.” he teased.
“Let’s go.” you grabbed his hand, pulling him to walk behind you towards your shared bedroom.
Entering the room, you noticed how the lights from the streets of Seoul were blocked by the black-out curtains that were weighing on the ledge. The only light in the room was coming from the side where the curtains weren’t properly closing the window. Small glimpses of light jumped over the walls from passing-by cars. You loosened your grip on Jaebeom’s hand, letting his fingers naturally slide from yours. Your eyes were too focused on the light, and when you didn’t move for quite a while, Jaebeom moved behind you. You felt his fingers move your hair away from your shoulder, feeling fresh air run up your neck. He leaned in closer to your ear, resting his fingers on your shoulder. Jaebeom’s lips left a kiss at the base of your neck making you shiver immediately. His touch was intoxicating to you, no matter how much time had passed, you still were getting goosebumps from whatever he said or did to you.
“Are you coming up with a grand plan to torture me?” he chuckled into your neck, running his lips up to your ear to move his face forward and rest his cheek against yours. Jaebeom’s hands snaked over your body, intertwining your fingers. He hugged your body tightly with both his and yours hands. You closed your eyes relishing the moment, rubbing your cheek lightly against his. You felt his lips on your jaw, leaving light pecks and *maybe* signalling you that you’re slow at giving him what he wants you to give him the most. You weren’t able to open your eyes though because Jaebeom’s light pecks turned into tiny sloppy kisses that just forced you to rest your head against his left shoulder, allowing him more access to your sensitive skin. With each feel of his lips on your neck, with each little sound he made when his lips met your skin you felt how your body relaxed more against his and you felt how your heart was trembling as if it was the first time he touched you at all. One of his hands left your waist only to rest against your cheek the next moment. His hand pulled your head by the neck to the side, holding on to it. Jaebeom’s lips moved back up to your jaw, nibbling on the spot under your ear. His light actions forced a moan escape your mouth, a moan that got you back into reality and got strength back into your feet.
“Wait.” you tried to tell him normally but your voice was weak and sounded more like a moan.
“Yeah?” he stopped drawing his attention to you. You turned around in his arms to face him properly. Thin laces of light ran over Jaebeoms face, giving you an opportunity to see his beautiful features for the nth time. You felt your heart clench when your eyes landed on his lips, unconsciously raising your hands to caress his cheeks. One of your hands slid down onto his neck, hooking it around it to hold on. Your free hand ran a line up his nose with your index finger, feeling how Jaebeom’s hand held tighter on your waist.
“I love you.” you sighed, pulling his face down closer to yours.
“I know baby, I love you too.” his tone was soft and low, you could barely hear him, he was practically murmuring. Jaebeom rested his forehead against yours, allowing for you to decide on what you’ll do next.
Moving your hands back to Jaebeoms face, you pulled his face a tiny bit closer, finally intertwining your lips. The kiss that you were waiting for for the whole evening quickly changed from a soft and slow one into something passionate, something that took both of your breaths away. Jaebeom’s hands ran up and down your side, making your head go dizzy every time he squeezed your butt before running his hand back up, pushing your body harder against his. He had to pull your face from his when it felt like the both of you could lose consciousness from the lack of air in your lungs.
“I still want to take these pants off your legs.” you murmured into his lips, pulling him more towards you.
“I won’t protest.” he chuckled and guided you towards the bed. You gave in, because its what you usually did. You obeyed and listened to what Jaebeom said and you both enjoyed it very much, but he said it’s up to you tonight and you weren’t planning on giving that completely up.
“Sit down then.” you demanded, and Jaebeom chuckled at your serious voice but obeyed diligently, walking with you to the bed. He didn’t break eye contact, sitting down and running his tongue over his mouth. Jaebeom sat down in an arrogant pose, spreading his knees but crossing his ankles. He switched his body weight to his hands that were keeping him up behind his back. “Move.” you commanded him with your hands, showing for him to crawl deeper onto the bed. He listened again, straightening his long skinny legs in front of you. The bulge, that was always visible through tight material of his pants, drew even more of your attention to it now that he was slightly turned on. You pressed a knee into the mattress of the bed, and Jaebeom lifted his body on his elbows, expectant of what you’ll do. You quickly got to his lap and Jaebeom’s hands quickly found their place on your thighs. “What should I do with you…?” you smirked at him, placing your hands on each side of his head.
“You pick, I don’t know.”
“I’m drowning in the ocean of possibilities, I should’ve prepared myself.” you chuckled lowering your face in front of him.
“Want to switch it up?”
“Never.” you kissed him, slowly rocking your body against his. A low groan escaped Jaebeom’s throat giving you a boost of confidence you never knew you needed. You broke off the kiss, moving your lips to his neck. The feeling of your wet mouth made him groan again and the vibration that escaped his throat and passed to you through your lips settled down in your core. You felt your insides clench and the only thing you could think about from now on is how good he’ll feel inside of you.
“Remember you told me once things you liked about me?” you moved back up to his face to be able to see his eyes.
“Of course I do, it was last week.” his hand ran up your waist.
“I want to do the same thing.” you licked his lips, slowly running your tongue over his mouth.
“Okay…?”
“Can I?” you asked out of habit.
“You know you can do anything you want, baby.” he let go of your leg, finding your face to caress your cheek. “Don’t make me feel bad with questions like that, now you’re making me believe I’m a conceited bully who’s keeping you in slavery.”
“Not true.” you opposed “One of the things I like about you…” you began slowly “…is the fact that you can control me but respect my views and needs at the same time.” your lips landed on his cheek. “You’re caring even though controlling and I have no idea how you’re doing it like that and to be fair that’s super sexy. But this is not what I wanted to tell you.” your lips found his once again.
“Okay, okay.” he chuckled, pulling you closer.
“Promise to just shut me up and just fuck me if I’ll get too sentimental, okay? I don’t want to be a crying mess.”
“Don’t worry, I won’t let you, you were grabbing onto my thigh through the whole evening I can’t even think straight right now, I want you.”
“I’m sorry.” you chuckled “But now I just want you to know that I’m so glad you asked me to stay with you when the rent at my place was due and I wanted to go home. I’m so glad I didn’t protest too much to stay at your place with you two years ago and now I’m here with you in this bed, and I love you so-so much. Fuck…” you sighed feeling that you already were emotional. This wasn’t even what you wanted to tell him in the first place, but now that you began you weren’t able to stop yourself from saying all those things. “We probably wouldn’t have lasted long if we went long-distance, I would’ve sulked and missed you so much.” you sighed and smiled lightly at him when you saw his cute little smile. “This is not even what I was planning to tell you. I wasn’t planning to make myself sob.” you chuckled and Jaebeom’s warm fingers on your cheek made your heart clench once again. “I love you a lot, I don’t want to ever not be able to tell you that I love you.”
“I swear, you won’t.” Jaebeom reassured you when you weren’t expecting him to speak at all. “Don’t cry. We’re good, no, we’re great. I love you, and you love me. We’re almost never fight, we’re on the same page, we’re there for each other. I don’t want to let go of you, in fact I want to build a family with you, I told you that. Baby, remember how you told me earlier you wanted me? Come on, show me, don’t cry, you’re upsetting me. I’m the insufferable dom, obey.” a smile lit up his face “I’m ordering for you to rule me, even though this sounds weird to say it like that.”
“I’m sorry, I think I’m just tipsy from what I drank at the restaurant. I was ready to fuck with you in that waiting room and now I’m on top of you and what am I doing? Sobbing.” you chuckled.
“Come here.” Jaebeom said seriously, pushing your hair to your back from hanging in front of his face. His hands pressed you towards his head, making you two kiss. Jaebeom’s lips moved quickly demanding the access into your mouth swiftly. You found balance by each side of Jaebeom’s shoulders, pressing your hands into the mattress. Jaebeom’s hand ran up your neck with a featherlight touch, going back down. His thumb began caressing your collarbone, sending shivers down your spine. Jaebeom’s other hand left your waist as well, sliding towards inner side of your thigh. He ran his hand under the hem of your dress, drawing circles over your bare skin. When his hand was right at the line of your underwear, he ran his fingers over cotton material of your underwear, lowering his fingers and running them up and down your clothed heat. “Do you feel better?” he asked running his fingers past the thin material of your underwear to touch you there.
“Wait.” you moaned into his mouth and he let go of you the next second. “I didn’t tell you.”
“You’ll start crying again, I just got you back.” he sighed.
“No, I won’t now, I just want to hold you back for as long as possible for you to cum harder, do you want that?”
“Baby…” he made a throaty sound.
“No, you have to say it with words, that’s your own rule, follow it.” you smiled making him clear his throat.
“Yeah, I do.” Jaebeom’s hand squeezed your thigh.
“Good. Don’t touch me unless I’ll tell you to. Should I tie you up?” you crooked your neck to look at him from the side.
“No, no, I’ll obey.”
“I hope so.” you felt Jaebeom let go of you, resting his hands on each side of his body. You leaned in to kiss him, softly moving your lips against his, he kissed you back, yet being able to not boss you around. He waited patiently for you to slip your tongue into his mouth, sucking on it lightly. “Mmmh.” he forced a moan out of you with the way his mouth was moving. You pulled back and Jaebeom lifted one of his hands to push you back down, but stopped himself half-way, dropping his hand back on the mattress. “Good boy.” you chuckled. “You know that I love your lips, right?” he nodded, mumbling quiet ‘yes’ afterwards. “I can’t hold back from kissing them all the time.” your fingers ran over his lower lip “And you’re always making me struggle, always forcing me to cry from want. Always making me beg for you. Why do you like me begging for you so much?” you asked rhetorically, kissing him again. Your lips moved slowly to his jaw, getting closer to his ear. “You know when I like your lips the most?” you sighed into his ear.
“I can probably guess.”
“Okay, guess.” you moved back to see his face.
“No, you tell me.” he quickly replied.
“When you get them between my legs.” you exhaled.
“Yeah…” he moaned in your ear “Do you want me to do that now?” you felt your insides clench at the unexpected suggestion. Temptation was way too strong and it took all in you to kindly decline it.
You moved your body a bit lower, now properly resting your lower part against Jaebeoms groin. Your fingers landed on his neck, stroking it lightly up and down. Softly touching his lips with yours, you snaked your fingers behind his neck, trying to wrap your hands around it. “Just taking a look at your neck is making me clench. I’m obsessed with your neck, its so thick, I can barely wrap my hands around it. And your Adam’s apple is moving so sexily every time you swallow.” you paused and he swallowed “Baby, yes, like that.” you whispered when Jaebeom’s Adam’s apple bobbed under your thumbs. “Can I bite it?” you paused to hear a reply from him but quickly changed your mind “Whatever, I’m going to bite it anyway.” running your lips over his neck mindlessly, you found a spot you liked to bite onto so much, tasting the skin, pulling it lightly between your teeth. Your tongue lightly nibbled on the bitten spot, right before your lips sucked in air, leaving red mark on his neck.
You moved your head back, eyeing the red stain you left. Your hands landed on his chest, helping you to find balance and Jaebeom’s hands landed on your hips, reminding you of the no-touching rule. You found his hands with yours, pulling them from you, moving them up, and then making him lower them above his head.
“I’m sorry, I won’t do that again.”
“Too late.” you stated. The only thing that came to your mind that could hold his hands in place was the belt that he had in his jeans, so you tried to hold both his hands with one of yours, expanding the other one to undo his belt somehow.
“You want to tie me up with my own belt?” he made a weird sound.
“Yeah, there’s nothing else I can come up with.” you smiled at him apologetically.
“Come on, I’ll be good, I won’t touch you, I swear.” he begged but you knew it was only to last up until you actually touched him and made him wait. You shook your head no, signalling for Jaebeom to lift his butt a bit, for you to be able to get your new handmade leathery handcuffs from his pants. “Baby…” he sighed.
“I know you’re not good at controlling yourself, i need something to ensure myself you’ll obey.” Getting the belt in front of his arms, you freed him to properly put it around his arms with both of yours. “Wait, we need to take off your shirt first.” you realised that you won’t be able to do that if you’ll tie him. Your hands got back to his chest, running your fingers over to where his buttons were already unbuttoned. You played with his yin-yang necklace that was peaking and teasing your eyes through the whole evening, unbuttoning more of the buttons on his shirt. Getting more access to the skin on his stomach, you pulled the shirt from under his pants, finally finishing with those buttons. You let both halves of the shirt lie down on Jaebeom’s sides. Your hands ran over his chest, lowering your head to plant a kiss on his abdomen. “Do you want to know how much I love your stomach?” you forced him to lift his shoulders off the bed, to let you pull the shirt off them. “Or your shoulders?” you tossed material to the side, getting your attention back to the belt. You wrapped it around his hands, forcing him to pull them back up, passing it in between his wrists afterwards, fastening the belt over it. He pulled lightly to test it, and it held his hands in place, making him drop his head back on the bed disappointed. “Pretty.” you said more to yourself than him, running your fingers from his shoulders to the waist of his jeans. “Even prettier down here.” you mumbled under your breath, squeezing him through the jeans. His body jerked in response, and you chuckled lightly because he pointlessly tried to free his hands. “You won’t mind if I’ll lick your stomach, right?” you asked, lowering your face in front of his abs. You extended your tongue, lifting your eyes to watch Jaebeom’s face expression. He bit down onto his lower lip, watching how you lowered your head, making your tongue meet his stomach. His body made a wave from the sensation. You began drawing small circles over his toned muscles, making your tongue move between every cube of the six-pack. Your chest was moving against his cock, stimulating Jaebeom even more, forcing a low groan out of him. “You know you can tell me what you want me to do?” you kissed a line up his stomach to his chest “I’ll consider your suggestions.” you got your tongue back out, sliding it up his chest to Jaebeom’s neck. You crawled over him, giving you an ability to properly look him in the eyes. “Do you have any?” you licked your lips, lowering your face closer to his.
“No, I’m good.” he coughed lightly, lifting his head from the bed to kiss you. You shot your body back up, pressing his shoulders back down to bed with your palms. “Come on.” He growled disappointedly.
“Weren’t you good just a second ago?” you chuckled. He shielded his eyes as if he was suffering from pain, lifting his head up to look at the bed behind him. “I know baby,” you ran your fingers from his armpit to where his hands were held hostage “it’ll hurt your pride if you’ll beg me for something, but I promise, you won’t die from that.” your hands ran back down, stroking lower, getting through his sides to the waistband of his jeans. The band of his underwear was showing from under his pants, letting you know the brand he wore. You ran your fingers over the band, getting them under it to run back to his left side. You noticed how Jaebeom’s hands grabbed onto the bedsheets above his head, fisting them harshly. “Sure you don’t want to try it?” you moved your hand away, only to drop your fingers over his crotch. Your fingers ran up and down lightly, stroking him with subtle motions. His hips twitched under you, trying to lift them and get more friction which you obviously weren’t about to give him. “No, this is not what the deal was, isn’t it?” you moved your hand away and Jaebeom stopped.
“I’m sorry.” he mumbled under his nose, turning his head away to close his eyes once again.
“The more you break the rules, the longer I’ll take, you get it?”
“Yeah.” He sighed. You got your hand back, palming his crotch slowly. Getting your face once again on the same level with his, you finally kissed him, making a low moan, when Jaebeom bit your lip due to your hands stronger stroking. You moved away to breathe in air, getting your free hand to stroke Jaebeom’s cheek.
“Be a good boy for me? Can you be good for me?” you mumbled into his lips “Just be good, don’t you want to cum?” you pecked his mouth but instead of replying he moaned quietly as a reaction to you squeezing his cock in your hand “you really should start using words.”
“I’ll be good.” He said with his mouth only, giving you an idea of how difficult it is for him to even be under you.
You using same words and tactics as he usually did probably gave him an idea of what it felt like from your side, when he’d rule you and made you be his submissive, when he’d make you speak at the peak of orgasm with the condition of not letting you cum if you didn’t. The difference was that Jaebeom had real issues with begging, he didn’t quite like the idea of begging for anything, so Jaebeom crying and moaning for you to let him cum was something you’d pay for to watch, and you were about to get a free ticket to that.
You tried to undo the button on his jeans with one hand, but you failed miserably, sitting up and undoing the jeans properly with both of your hands. He lifted his hips immediately, predicting you to take off the pants. You decided not to do it the way he wanted it, unzipping the zipper, and just unfolding his jeans to the side, allowing his bulge to get free. The only thing that now divided your palm from his cock was the thin cotton of his underwear. You stroked him multiple times, giving him more pressure than before. You felt Jaebeom’s thighs tense up under your legs, twitching yet again from your hand. You paid all of your attention to his member that was poking the underwear making a droplet of pre-cum smear over the material, soaking it. Your hand left Jaebeom, getting a light whine from him, only to hear him groan a second after, when your hand snaked under his underwear, finally making you meet his warm cock. You stroked him, moving your hand up and down, squeezing him lightly at the base.
“Don’t stop, please.” His voice sounded high-pitched. “Baby, I beg you…” he sighed and you got your hand tighter over him, squeezing more “Yeah, like that.” He sighed again.
You watched his face expression, his eyes were shut tight, small droplets of sweat were forming over his forehead. When your hand wrapped tighter around him he squeezed his eyes in pleasure, making a wave with his body. You weren’t quite sure if Jaebeom was already on the edge, but he acted as if he already was, so you had to let go of him just in case.
“Why?” he asked angrily.
“Did you try to trick me? Did you want to cum?”
“No.” he sighed. “You wouldn’t let me anyway.”
“Right, and now, I’ll have to be even more strict with you.”
“Y/n, come on… I understood already.”
“Understood what?”
“That it’s hard to play by my rules.”
“But I was just doing what you told me to do, I was just making you feel good.” you replied. Your hand ran back down to his cock.
“I want you.” he sighed “I want to get inside of you, I can’t with the teasing.” His voice sounded tired.
“Baby, I only began.” You chuckled and got rid of any contact you had with Jaebeom. He shot his eyes open anticipating what you’ll do next.
Your hands landed on the belt of your dress on your waist. You pulled the ribbon, making the material of the dress fall on both sides of your body, allowing Jaebeom to see your underwear. You felt his eyes land on it immediately, eyeing your underwear, stopping his eyes on your breasts. He paid more attention than expected to your half-see-through garment, lowering his eyes down to your stomach and lower to your clothed heat. You lowered your head too, trying to see what drew his attention, noticing how your underwear was soaked from all the rubbing against Jaebeom. You lifted your eyes back up meeting Jaebeom’s hungry stare.
“Come here.” He commanded and for a slight second the tone of his voice made you want to do it. “Please.” He sighed when you shook your head no.
You pushed the dress off your shoulders, tossing it somewhere to the floor, next to Jaebeom’s shirt. Crawling over his body, you rested yourself against him, wrapping your hands over his neck, hugging his waist with your legs. You felt the phantom of his arms around your body, and your heart cried to feel him around you, but the strength and power you had in your arms right now was way too poisoning to let go of. You intertwined your lips with his, kissing him passionately from the first second. You rocked your hips slowly towards him and Jaebeom did everything in his power to press him against you in return. You twitched when Jaebeom dropped his tied hands on your back, immediately squeezing bare skin of your back with his fingers. You moaned at the feeling into his mouth before you could even understand what he did. He just lowered his tied hands to hold you in place because he had every possibility to do so. You didn’t tie his hands to the headboard of the bed because your bed didn’t have bars, you didn’t even expect he’d do that. His hands burned the skin on your back with the sensuality they gave you. He squeezed and caressed and just held and pressed you closer to him, as if there was any more space for you to get closer to him. You kept kissing him for a minute or so, enjoying the feeling of his hands on you, the feeling you didn’t realize you missed so much until he touched you. The kiss became a mess from all the feelings the both of you felt and gave to each other and you put it all in you to let go of his neck and get his hands from your back to move them back above his head.
“Baby, please.” he made a loud cry leaving you surprised. “Didn’t you like me touching you, don’t you want me to touch you? Please, let me.” he begged now and your insides clenched at the view.
“Don’t make me feel bad.” you moaned into his mouth, sitting up once again. You slid down his legs, getting your hands to the waist of his jeans. Now you pulled the material slightly down and Jaebeom lifted his hips to allow you to do what you wanted. You moved lower taking his jeans down his long limbs, freeing him finally.
Now that the both of you were left in your underwear, you had no intention of not having him inside of you. You dropped his jeans to the floor, crawling back up his legs.
“Bra on or off?” you simply asked, allowing him to pick.
“On.” his reply was quick and you nodded with a light smile on your face. You pulled your underwear down first, tossing it to the side, before your fingers pulled his by the waistband, with him bending his legs and helping you to get rid of it. His pulsing cock bounced up to his stomach, giving you an idea of how turned on he was. Even in the dark room you could see how engorged it was signalling to you that Jaebeom was about to struggle badly. You stroked him a few times, getting a sense from the way he felt and acted you had to be careful. Lifting your hips you guided his cock to your coated with want entrance, sliding him up and down your slit. He jerked his hips up, crying breathlessly at your actions. You felt the entire of your body clench from just the feeling of him being this close. You lost control and allowed him to enter more, causing a loud moan from the both of you. You moved your hips back up because it wasn’t something you planned to do this quickly, getting a low cry from him once again.
“Baby, please, let me get inside of you.” the loud moan that escaped his mouth when you teased him against you once more gave an idea that he possibly could be on the verge. You sank down on him slowly, squeezing your eyes in pleasure. Jaebeom was breathing heavily, and when you jerked your hips up only to sit back down with a quicker speed the room filled up with a low loud groan from Jaebeom that lasted for at least 10 seconds. You never heard him make that sound before and on the second move of your hips you clenched around him. You definitely weren’t expecting from yourself to get to the edge this quickly but it really never took you long to cum when it was Jaebeom, so you really didn’t have to be surprised. “I’ll cum if you’ll do that once more.” his eyes were squeezed and he barely contained himself.
You knew you’d be able to hold back once you maid up your mind on it, you had a great teacher who trained you for two years, but you weren’t sure he’ll last as much as you wanted to. You got your hips back up, quickly sliding down his length, clenching on purpose this time. Jaebeom shot his eyes open, even though he couldn’t focus his vision for a few seconds for sure. “Take this fucking belt off my hands. Let me fuck you, I beg you.” he was finally there to beg and you wanted to tattoo these words into your brain, they were like music to you.
“No, baby, we had a deal, I’ll fuck you and you’ll just be under me to enjoy.” you smiled at him and stopped everything you did.
“Don’t, no, don’t stop, please. I beg you, I beg you, I swear, don’t stop.” he began mumbling quickly but it was too late now, that his orgasm disappeared for the second time.
You slid down, leaving wet trail of kisses over the lower part of his stomach, fighting in your head if you should take him in your mouth or not. You left a few red marks, licking and kissing them afterwards, deciding on not giving him head, you weren’t sure he’ll last long with the feeling of your tongue on him.
“Ready to cum?” you asked him when you felt like he calmed enough to take more teasing.
“Yes, please ride me. Baby, please.” You began moving your hips slowly, getting into much quicker pace in no time. Your nails were digging into the skin of Jaebeom’s shoulders now that your body found some sort of pace that he tried to match with his hip thrusts. “Fuck.” he mumbled under his breath, fisting the sheets vigorously. “Free my hands, I’ll get deeper inside of you, please, let me fuck you. I don’t think I can do it like that anymore.” he moaned again and this time you almost missed a slight twitching of his cock that signalled that Jaebeom would cum in the closest minute.
You just stopped. You even let him leave you empty, watching his cock throb and pre-cum drip down its side. “It hurts, baby, I swear it does. Please let me cum. Y/n…” he squeezed his eyes again only to shoot them wide open and look at you “what do you want me to do? I’ll do anything. I just need to cum. I’m in pain right now, I swear, it does really hurt, I’m at my maximum, please.”
“Move closer to the headboard.”
“Huh?” he looked as if he didn’t hear you “Yeah, okay.” he said in a second, probably working out what you told him to do. You lifted your body off him to let him freely crawl backwards.
“Sit up.” you watched him reach out his hands to the headboard, grabbing it and pulling his body up to sit. He left his hands above his head, holding on to the wooden material and watching you. You crawled up and reached out behind Jaebeom to get pillows from behind him, allowing him to sit more straight.
One of your hands hooked around his neck, leaving couple millimetres between your faces. Your other hand found his cock under you, guiding him to slide inside of you immediately. He gasped into your mouth and you leaned in to kiss him, rocking your hips steadily. You closed your eyes in pleasure, pressing Jaebeom’s body closer to yours with both hands. You broke off the kiss, resting your head on his shoulder. Your hand moved to his waist, holding on to him there. Jaebeom’s little whimpers and cries into your ear made you closer to the edge and you were trying to contain yourself but your clenching just took Jaebeom closer to the edge. “If I’ll free your hands, promise you won’t flip me over?”
“I won’t.” he replied way too quickly making you doubt if he even understood what you said.
“Did you hear me?” you stopped moving and he tensed up.
“I did, I won’t, I promise, just move.” you nodded in response, biting down on your lower lip and beginning your moves again.
You moved your hand to his cheek, caressing it with your thumb. Jaebeom stuck his tongue out for you to kiss him and you gave in, crying silently into the kiss when you lowered yourself on him more than before. Your other hand let go of his neck, crawling over to his tied hands, trying to undo the belt with one hand. It took you longer than expected, and the second Jaebeom heard the sound of it being undone, he roughly freed his hands, making you startled by how quickly he got the belt in his hands, throwing it into the dark of the room. You felt his hands on you the next second, Jaebeom roughly but carefully at the same time got his palm onto your face, pressing your mouths into each other’s. His other hand found your hipbone, grabbing onto it to move your hips quicker and deeper. Your arms were chocking him with how strongly you wrapped them around his neck, but Jaebeom wasn’t really noticing it, being focused on where you connected, making you roughly sink on him and get back up. His mouth let go of yours, trying to kiss a line down your neck, but you noticed him lose the rhythm that he just built up and you knew he’d cum this time for sure.
“Cum, baby.” you moved his head back up to yours, kissing his lips slowly. You purposely clenched around him multiple times, finally feeling his seed fill inside of you. His hips jerked up and he made many tiny noises you never heard before. You waited until he calmed himself down.
“I’m sorry…” he rested his head against the headboard and you lied down on his chest. “I should’ve let you cum first.” you chuckled, leaving small kisses over his chest. A couple of minutes later, when he partially normalised his breathing, you felt Jaebeom rub your shoulder for you to lift your head up. “Come here, I can’t leave you like that.” his hands pulled you closer to his face, kissing your lips quickly. His fingers stroked your sides and his leg hooked around yours, letting you know he’ll flip you over. You didn’t protest knowing he’s only doing it for you.
Now you were in your usual position, feeling his lips move down to your neck, sliding his cock out of you, making you feel empty. Not for long though, as his lips trailed down a line of kisses, his hand got to your breasts, pulling them out of your bra without undoing it. You moaned at the cold sensation he left on your nipples with his tongue and you arched your back towards his body. His hand slid down your stomach right to your entrance, rubbing his palm against it. He moved his finger deeper, making your lube and his cum mix more inside of you. Teasing you multiple times he moved his finger over to your clitoris, rubbing it in circles against it. You whined and Jaebeom’s moves became stronger and quicker. His tongue was swirling over your collarbone, entering you at the same time with his finger.
Next few minutes went in agony, you were trying to squeeze your thighs, and held onto his hand strongly to stop him from doing what he did and make him do it quicker at the same time. Your body was going crazy, your hands were roaming all over the sheets, trying to find something you could hold on to. He stopped kissing you and moved his body away from yours, only keeping contact where he worked with his fingers.
“Jaebeom!” you moaned expanding your hand to his face, and he leaned in to peck your lips quickly moving away afterwards.
His hand left your body and you opened your eyes in disbelief. You didn’t think he’d try to play now, and the only reason he could’ve let go of you is to tease you. You watched him angrily but he didn’t look up at you, he slid his body lower, only to get his face in front of your entrance. You felt your heart tingle, getting a sense of what was going in his head. He spread your legs wider, lowering his head in front of you. The slight feeling of his tongue on you made you jerk your hips up, and he grabbed your hips, moulding his fingers into them to keep you in place. Making a couple of light motions he went all in, running his tongue quickly over the spot he knew was the most sensitive, he ran his tongue down, sticking it inside of you, sliding it flatly back up. Your hands grabbed onto his head not being able to take it you just wanted him to let go, but he didn’t pay any attention to that, sucking in your last cells of sanity. It didn’t last long, with another vigorous lick he pushed you over the edge, not stopping your body from arching closer to him. Jaebeom pressed small kisses over your thigh waiting for you to at least get back into reality. When your breathed more calmly he moved back up, resting his body next to yours. His hands snaked over to your waist, pulling you to lay over his chest.
You closed your eyes trying to calm yourself down and find any strength to tell him anything, but you failed, only finding it in you to rub your face against his chest and hug him tighter.
“See, that’s a tiring job to take over me in bed, you should’ve listened when I told you I’m doing it for you.” he chuckled, brushing your hair behind your ear. His fingers tried to lift your face up to face him, and you let him do it.
“I liked it.” you sighed quietly and he smirked.
“So now I can just rest for the rest of my life while you do the job?”
“No, I liked it, but I guess being a pillow princess is still better.” you smiled at him and a throaty laugh escaped Jaebeom’s mouth. “I won’t give that up to you.”
“Good.” he nodded.
“Why?”
“It’s just better when you’re under.”
“Is it though? You rarely cum that hard.” you chuckled finally feeling more alive. You found balance on your elbows, watching his face expression.
“You teased me forever, that’s expected.”
“Oh, come on, you could’ve just said ‘baby, there’s something about you riding me, that made me lose myself completely, I thought I’ll go crazy if I won’t touch you’.” you furrowed your eyebrows. Jaebeom’s palm pulled your face closer to his.
“Baby, there’s something abo…” he began repeating what you told him with a slight smirk, before you slapped his shoulder.
“Back off.” you sighed, trying to get away from him to take a shower.
“You know I’m bad with words.” he hugged you from the back, pulling your back to rest against his chest. You laid back, resting your head on his shoulder. Jaebeom kissed your cheek, playing with your fingers. “I can write you a song to tell you everything.” he mumbled gifting another kiss to your jaw.
“You know when you need it, you’re doing perfectly fine with expressing yourself.” you made your hands intertwine.
“You know that this goes right back at you, but just because you did so much I won’t fight with you about it.” you made a cute sad face expression and he sighed “Okay…it’s crazily sexy what you did, I didn’t think you’ll actually have the stamina to finish it off the way you began. But you did… and it really pissed me off when you teased me and I couldn’t just do it my way… but yeah, it all washed away when you made me cum. Nice for a change, would never let you do that regularly because you under me is just another type of pleasure.”
“Yeah, insufferable dom, I told you.” you bit down your lip to prevent yourself from laughing.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” he let go of you and you took it as a chance to get up.
“I’m going to shower first!”
my first got7 fic, I hope you liked it! please let me know 🥺
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fellintotartarus · 3 years
Text
you ask me what i’m thinking about (spencer reid x fem!reader)
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Summary: On a night out, Reader discovers that her crush, Spencer Reid is a virgin and takes him home. 3.3k words
A/N: This is literally the fastest I’ve ever written anything oh my god. Anyways, enjoy.
Warnings: Literal fucking filth, the whole thing. Sub!Spencer smut, fingering, oral (m and f receiving), penetration, praise kink.
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“Okay, never have I ever done it standing up against a wall,” Penelope said, beginning a game of the most childish, yet absolute most fun drinking game ever.
“Unfair, Pen, I told you that story yesterday,” you whined, throwing back a shot of cheap tequila, noticing Emily and Derek join you. The whole team (minus the dads Hotch and Rossi) were gathered on the floor of Penelope’s living room unwinding after a case.
“All’s fair in love and war,” Penelope said with a drunken grin.
“That’s actually not how that saying should be applied, and if you look back to the--” Spencer started before he was cut off. He was easily the most sober of the group, which was saying something. Even he was bleary-eyed and swaying slightly in his seat.
You ran your eyes over his frame hungrily. Deciding to get drunk around the man you had a massive crush on was starting to look like a mistake as you found yourself leaning closer to him, stabilizing yourself on his thigh when you wobbled. You heard his breath hitch. You smiled, tracing your fingers over his clothed skin quickly before removing your hand.
“Sorry,” you said lowly, eyes lingering on his lips.
God what you wouldn’t do to kiss those lips raw and bite them--
“Y/N? It’s your turn,” you heard Emily say from across the room.
You turned to them, thinking. Oh, you knew a way to get nearly every single one of them (save maybe Emily) to drink.
“Never have I ever been a virgin at the age of seventeen,” you said smugly. Workplace gossip paid off.
Everyone except Emily rolled their eyes and threw back a shot, mumbling complaints.
Derek laughed and said, “Never have I ever been a virgin at my current age.”
You looked around, confused. Who on earth--
Oh.
Well, that is delightful, you thought as you watched Spencer sigh, flip Derek off, and take a shot.
“Don’t worry, pretty boy, we’ll get you laid one of these days,” Derek said.
Every single dirty thought you had ever had about this man doubled the instant you realized the world you could show him. The heat between your legs increased. Thanks to the alcohol, you had no problem scooting even closer to him as the game progressed. You hoped he would use his 187 IQ and crazy smart profiler brain to pick up what you were trying to tell him when you lightly grazed his hand with your pinky and drooped your head onto his shoulder. Sure enough, you heard his breathing speed up and he glanced down at you, his curious eyes meeting your lustful ones. He cleared his throat before looking back at the group. You sat like that for the rest of the game.
After a couple more hours of just sitting around and goofing off, you were definitely getting sober. The room no longer spun pleasantly and your body lacked the hum that came with drinking.
What didn’t wear off, though, was the thrumming need between you and Spencer. You were always flirty with him and he always blushed and tried to reciprocate, but this was a whole different level. He would turn to you occasionally, as if to reassure himself that you were, in fact, still looking at him like you wanted to pin him up against a wall and it would leave him slightly out of breath.
You loved the effect you had on him, how one glance of yours could leave him shuddering softly.
When everyone (sober enough, Emily was definitely crashing on the couch) finally started to stand up and get ready to leave, you took your opportunity and grabbed Spencer by the arm, whispering, “My place?” sweetly in his ear. He inhaled sharply and nodded his head, trailing after you out the door, both of you saying your goodbyes.
Spencer had taken the Metro, so you went in the same car and it was torture. You kept your hand on Spencer’s thigh the entire time, leaving him to shift in his seat, hoping to find more friction.
“Patience,” you said sweetly. He gulped and nodded.
As soon as you pulled up to your apartment, you practically pulled him over the console by the tie and kissed him.
You grabbed the base of Spencer’s head, twisting your fingers harshly through his hair before bringing his lips to yours. The kiss was hungry, teeth clashing, and Spencer returned it eagerly. You ran your hands over his chest, stopping only to brush his nipples, which earned you a shudder and he pushed closer to you.
You broke the kiss, saying, “Let’s take this upstairs.”
Spencer nodded enthusiastically, following you up the stairs to your apartment door. Once inside, you turned and kissed Spencer sweetly, a contrast from in the car.
You pulled away, his face in your hand, and said, “Are you good?”
Spencer said, “Yeah. I trust you.”
Your heart swelled exponentially. You were so lucky.
“Anything you don’t like and we stop, okay? You’re safe with me.” you said, playfully stern.
Spencer smiled, nodding and leaned back in to kiss you. You stopped him with a finger against his lips.
“I need to hear you say it,” you replied, eyebrows raised, cupping his face in your hand.
Spencer’s eyes widened and you felt his pants tighten against your hip.
“Yes,” he breathed.
Oh, this was an interesting development. You hadn’t wanted to bring this side of you out so soon, but Spencer seemed so eager for it.
You smiled, running your thumb back and forth on his cheek. “Do you like it when I take control, Spence?” You gripped his hip in the other hand.
His breathing shallowed, eyes fluttering when your finger dipped under his shirt and pants and rubbed small circles into his hip bone. He nodded weakly.
Your hand on his face shifted to grip his chin, bringing his eye level down to you.
“Baby, use your words,” you said sweetly, taking your time.
“Yes. Please,” Spencer basically whined, and it went straight to your core.
Okay, this was happening.
You moved your hand that was on his hip and cupped his bulge, running your fingers back and forth softly. He let out a small whimper and his hips moved subtly, begging for more. You smiled, every movement electrifying you further.
“Why don’t you take your clothes off for me and meet me in the bedroom?” you said sweetly, obviously not intending it as a question.
Spencer nodded, pulling away from you slowly before walking back to where he knew your bedroom to be.
You took a second to collect yourself, every movement making you painfully aware of how soaked you were.
You were typically fine having vanilla sex or even pretending to submit to a man every once in a while, because men didn’t typically like to hear that you wanted them to submit to you. It got old after a while, though, and just yesterday you had been considering popping in to the local BDSM club to find someone.
But today had proven to be exactly what you needed. Not only were you about to fuck the man you’d had a crush on for a while, but he was sitting pretty in the bedroom, waiting for your next command.
Fuck, you thought, rubbing your thighs together. You’d better get in there, then.
You turned the corner into the doorway and found Spencer down to his tented boxer briefs sitting pretty on the edge of your bed. 
You stood in front of him and shrugged your dress off your shoulders, revealing a skimpy bralette and sheer boyshorts. 
He gasped softly at the sight of your near naked body and shifted on the bed as if to get closer to you. You smiled, walking to him and positioning yourself between his legs, looking down on him. 
You took his face in your hand, squeezing slightly to make his lips pucker. You leaned down and did exactly what you had imagined earlier in the night, kissing him harshly, sucking and biting at his lips, drawing small moans from him.
You ran your fingers up and down his chest, scratching his pale skin and tweaking his nipples every now and then as you continued to kiss him roughly, and Spencer whimpered, wiggling around where he was sitting. 
The wetness in your panties had soaked through the fabric and Spencer’s boxers were so tight it just had to have hurt. 
You broke the kiss, taking a moment to savor the wrecked look on Spencer’s face. His lips were red and swollen, covered in saliva, and there were red marks from where you had gripped his face. 
“What do you know about pleasuring women, Dr. Reid?” you asked teasingly, continuing your ministrations on his chest.
“I may be a virgin, but I’m not stupid,” he said, out of breath. He picked up his hand and trailed it along your inner thighs, making you shiver. He ghosted across where you needed him most.
His eyes met yours, asking silent permission which you granted with a nod, breath heavy.
You gripped his shoulders hard and threw your head back when he moved your panties aside and slipped his fingers through your soaked folds. He found your clit immediately (goddamn genius) and rubbed it in soft, slow circles. It felt amazing, but it was nowhere near enough.
When he glanced up at you with the subbiest look on his face, you took his face in your hand yet again and breathed, “Not enough, baby.”
Spencer’s face flashed with a look of determination and he increased the pressure on your clit before slipping a finger in your heat. You let out a loud moan and let your eyes flutter shut, running your fingers through his hair in praise.
“Fuck, baby, you’re doing so good for me,” you groaned, which only served to spur him on. He quickly added two more fingers and pumped in and out of you so deliberately, rubbing up against that electric spot inside you every time.
You definitely hadn’t been expecting to cum more than once if at all tonight, but here you were, stood in front of your crush sitting on your bed while he brought you dangerously close to the edge with his fingers.
He continued slipping in and out of you and rubbing circles into your clit, the feeling of his warm fingers making you near delirious. The real turn-on, though, was the way he looked up at you, practically begging for praise. 
“Oh, fuck, Spence, you’re doing so good for me, so fucking good,” you choked out as you felt your breath hitch and legs tense, your orgasm so, so near.
“I’m close,” you whispered, unsure of whether Spencer even heard it. You were assured he did, though, when he dipped his head down to your cunt and licked a long, hard, stripe up and down before latching onto your clit and sucking. You let out a long, loud moan.
That was all it took. You came hard on Spencer’s hand, mewls and whines filling the room, walls clamping tightly around his fingers and he nursed it beautifully for you, kitten licking your clit and softly rubbing inside you until you had to pull his hand and face off because your legs were shaking too hard.
You took one look at him, face covered in your juices, lips swollen from the kissing and sucking, hair absolutely mussed from your hands, and it was it took to leave you wanting more. You placed your hand flat on his chest, leading him farther back on the bed. He sat against the pillows and headboard and you placed your soaked core directly on his hard bulge, pulling a whimper from him and a low moan from you.
You leaned in, hungrily kissing him, tasting yourself on his lips and tongue and rocking your hips back and forth slowly, building a fire in you. At this point, Spencer was a mess, practically begging for you to touch him. He bucked his hips up into yours and whimpered with every movement. You moved your hand to the back of his neck and pulled his head back, exposing his throat.
“I’m gonna give you a hickey, alright, baby? That way everyone will know you’re taken,” you growled into his ear, nipping his earlobe in between words.
Spencer exhaled sharply and nodded, not speaking. You gave his earlobe a sharp pull with your teeth, and he jumped slightly.
“Please, Y/N, just own me,” he gasped.
You were sure that you had died and gone to heaven. There was no way your crush was sitting under you right now being a perfect little sub and begging for you to wreck him.
You latched onto his pulse point with renewed vigor, sucking and biting his soft, pale skin. Spencer writhed underneath you, moaning out little expletives you almost couldn’t understand.
You continued until you were met with an angry bruise blooming on his beautiful neck, satisfied with your work.
“There we go,” you teased, scooting back on the bed until your face aligned with Spencer’s bulge. You let your breath ghost over his clothed dick and licked at the wet spot on his boxers. Spencer whined, an honest to god high pitched whine, and it was so hot you had no choice but to wrap your mouth around the head of his cock through his boxers.
He was obviously trying to hold back, grasping at the sheets with his hands and biting his lips to stop from moaning. You pulled back.
“Are you going to be good for me and let me hear you, baby? Or am I going to have to leave you high and dry?” you teased, cocking your eyebrow at him.
Spencer exhaled. “Fuck, please, I’ll be good, I promise.”
If you hadn’t been soaked before, his words just then would’ve done the job.
You lowered your head again, pulling back the waistband of Spencer’s boxers to reveal his cock, hard, pink, leaking precum, and deliciously big.
“Oh, baby, it’s a crime to keep this pretty dick from the world,” you grinned, licking a slow stripe up the underside.
Spencer kept true to his promise and was not holding a single noise back, his head thrown back against the headboard. The room was filled with the curses and moans pouring out of his mouth.
You wrapped your lips around the head of his cock, swirling your tongue around to collect the precum. His hips bucked into your mouth and you smiled around him, going lower and lower until he hit the back of your throat.
You hollowed your cheeks and slid up and down a few times, leaving him practically yelling. You pulled off with a pop and brought yourself back up to his face, never letting go of his dick.
“As much as I’d like for you to fuck my face and cum down my throat, we’ve got that little viginity issue of yours to solve.”
Spencer looked at you, wide-eyed and gasping and nodded as you gave him a few pumps and positioned yourself over him.
“I’m clean,” he croaked, face red. “Obviously.”
You smiled and leaned in, kissing him softly.
“Me, too. And I’m on the pill. Spencer, are you sure? Because we can stop right now,” you said softly, reassuring him.
Spencer shook his head, “There’s no one I’d rather do this with.”
You smiled, assuming your role once again, “I’m glad to hear it, baby boy. Are you ready for this pussy to change your life?” you said, joking to ease the mood.
Spencer smiled, almost laughing, but then you ran his tip through your folds and his face fell into one of pure bliss. You rubbed your clit against him, covering him in your slick and moaning loudly.
“Fuck, baby, you’re gonna feel so good inside me,” you groaned, head thrown back in pleasure.
Spencer squirmed, clearly impatient to feel himself inside you. You chuckled, cutting your grinding against him short to indulge him
You pressed your lips against his in a wildly passionate kiss as you lowered yourself onto him, feeling him stretch you out.
Spencer’s mouth fell open against yours and his strangled moans only encouraged you. Feeling warmed up enough, you dropped the rest of the way onto him, feeling the pleasant burn and crying out.
The feeling was insane. You were so full and satisfied you felt yourself uncharacteristically close again already. You ground your clit in Spencer’s hip bone and mewled loudly. 
“Fuck, Y/N, please move,” Spencer begged, writhing under you.
“You don’t tell me what to do, Spence,” you said, halting your movements altogether. He whined and stopped moving, too.
“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he whimpered.
Satisfied with his apology, you brought yourself up slowly, only stopped when he nearly slipped out of you, before dropping quickly, hitting the deepest spot inside you. You repeated the motions again, quicker this time and Spencer’s hands shot out to grip your hips. You decided to allow it purely because of the crazy blissed out look Spencer had on his face.
He looked gorgeous. His hair was fucked and stuck to his forehead with sweat. His head was thrown back in complete pleasure, noises pouring out of his swollen lips continuously and the hickey on his neck stood out prominently. 
When you dropped down on him again, he hit a spot inside of you you didn’t even know existed, and you fell forward onto his chest on your elbows, the coil inside you tightening hotly. You straightened up with new determination, practically fucking him into the bed.
Spencer moved his hands up to your tits, pulling one of them into his mouth. His tongue circled your nipple, sucking softly and you grabbed his hair hard, causing him to moan against you. You lowered your hand to where the two of you met, swirling your thumb around your combined juices.
You pulled him off of you and offered him your soaked thumb, which he graciously took into his mouth and began sucking earnestly. You moaned as loud as you ever had. Just seeing him being so good brought you close to the edge again.
“I’m so close,” Spencer said through your hand.
“Me, too. Help me out, baby,” you whispered sweetly, grabbing his hand and guiding it to your clit. He pushed his thumb harshly against it and rubbed and you yelled loudly.
You slammed back down on him and came harder than you ever had, gasping for air and your vision whiting out. a vice-like clamp on Spencer’s dick guiding him over the edge, too. You felt his seed fill you, a warmth spreading inside you. You desperately joined Spencer at your clit, rubbing circles to prolong your orgasm for as long as possible. 
Finally, you let yourself go limp on top of him, tracing little patterns into his sweaty skin.
“I hope that was okay for your first time,” you whispered against him, pressing soft kisses into his torso.
“Are you kidding? I think that’s the best sex anyone has ever had their first time,” Spencer said, still catching his breath.
“Are you good?” you asked, turning to face him. “Was that too much?”
Spencer smiled, blushing. “No way. It was perfect.”
-
The next day at work, you walked in five minutes before Spencer so no one was the wiser.
Spencer walked into the conference room last, so everyone noticed the scarf he was wearing in the warm August weather.
Derek snatched it off of him almost as soon as he sat down and wolf-whistled at his hickey.
“Looks like Pretty Ricky finally got some,” he laughed, everyone joining in in playfully congratulating Spencer. His face reddened and his eyes met yours.
You winked.
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honeypiehotchner · 3 years
Note
Hey, Reid! I actually have an idea for a headcannon or one-shot. So, I love how realistic your writing is because you tackle a lot of topics (PTSD, sexual assault, etc.) Can you do one on how Hotch were to react if he gets into an argument with y/n and sees her flinch when he tries to raise his hand to rub his face because she thought she was gonna get hit? Like, I think he would be so concerned for her and tries to reassure her that he won't hurt her like her ex did. I saw this based on a tik tok on how each bau member would react if they see y/n flinch during an argument. If this is a too touchy subject to do, I will understand, and if you wanna do it with a gender neutral partner instead, that works too ^^
Thank you so much for this request bby!! I loved writing this dose of fluff xx.
Also I think this is pretty gender neutral, but he does call reader “Honey”!
Small disclaimer that everyone’s PTSD looks different and this is not the sole decider of how PTSD has to affect you to be “valid.” This is just a depiction and I did draw from my own personal symptoms (especially the “being okay right after a freak out” because lord knows I suppress shit and let it get me days later)
HOTCH MASTERLIST || MAIN MASTERLIST
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Down to Earth
You’ve been with Aaron for what feels like forever, but really has only been a little over a year. In this year, you’ve felt more at peace with him than you’ve felt in any other relationship.
But like every relationship, nothing is always perfect.
The two of you haven’t had a single argument -- until now.
You’re a fairly understanding person. When he has to leave suddenly for a case, you don’t mind. When he gets caught up in work and suddenly it’s almost nine at night and he’s still at the BAU, you just laugh. When he wants to go everywhere possible with you because he’s having a hard day with his anxiety (even if he won’t admit it), you let him follow you around like your personal bodyguard.
You knew what you signed up for when you took things further than a few dinner dates. You understand.
Which is why tonight’s argument is so stupid.
“I just need a straight answer. That’s all.”
“I don’t know what else you want me to say,” you shrug. “I literally don’t care, Aaron.”
“I don’t want to make all the decisions,” he replies. “I want you to have some say.”
“But I don’t mind it if you make the decisions.”
“It feels one-sided, and I don’t want that.”
“It’s fine, I swear.”
“I can see on your face that it’s not.”
“Don’t profile me, we talked about this.”
“I’m not profiling you, I’m just trying to get you to tell me the truth for once.”
“Well, I--”
Your sentence stops abruptly when you gasp, flinching, raising both of your arms in an X in front of your face.
And just like that, the argument is dropped.
All Aaron had done was raise his hand to run his fingers through his hair. But in the midst of an argument -- and on one of your worse days with your PTSD -- you legitimately thought he was pulling his hand back to hit you.
“Y/N…” He slowly lowers his hand, gaze softening when he hears you sniffling. “Honey…”
“I’m sorry,” you murmur, your arms still raised. You know he would never, ever hurt you, but you can’t move them. You’re trying, but it’s like all your muscles have tensed, refusing to let you move. “I won’t do it again, I’m sorry,” you say, rushing your words now. “Just please, don’t…”
It’s not until Aaron hears these words leave your lips that he realizes you’re not here right now -- at least not in your mind.
He doesn’t know anything about your past relationship. He put a few pieces together and knew it wasn’t necessarily a happy relationship, but he had no idea it was that bad.
“Y/N, it’s Aaron,” he pauses, mind reeling, trying to figure out how to get you back. “Can you hear me?”
“I won’t-- I’m sorry, please--”
“Y/N, you’re at my apartment with me. Can you open your eyes?”
You hear his voice this time and you open your eyes, a gasp falling from your lips as you yank your arms down to your sides. “I’m so sorry--”
“What are you apologizing for?” He asks softly. “You have no reason to apologize, Y/N.”
“Okay…” You say, flexing your fingers to ease some tension. “Well, still, about--”
“No, no we don’t need to talk about that anymore,” he shakes his head. “It’s not a big deal and I think this is more important.” He pauses. “But if you don’t want to talk about it, I...I completely understand. No pressure.”
You exhale, balling your hands into fists. “We can talk.”
“Okay. Wanna sit down?” He gestures to the couch.
You nod.
“Can I sit next to you?” He asks, and you’re grateful for his ever kind heart.
“Of course,” you smile. “Please.” And when he still sits a little too far away, you tug him closer. “You’re not going to break me.”
“I know that,” he says, smiling when you take his hand. “Are you okay?”
You have no idea how, but you are. “I am. I’m sorry I freaked out.”
“You don’t need to apologize,” he says again, sandwiching your hand between both of his. “You can’t control your reactions.”
He’s right, even though you have suppressed them for a very long time. “I try to. I don’t want to scare you.”
“I don’t want to ever scare you,” he says, squeezing your hand. “I’m sorry that I did.”
“It wasn’t you.” He gives you a look with a hint of disbelief. “Okay, it was the sudden movement, I think. With your hand.”
“Okay,” he nods. He had already pieced that together, but now isn’t the time for him to talk about how he silently profiles you. “I’ll be more conscious of that.”
“Honestly,” you chuckle, “I’m not sure how you haven’t pieced it all together before now.” You pause, looking up from his hands. “Have you? Be honest.”
“Some things,” he admits. “Little things. Your problem with eye contact and agreement to everything -- and I should not have approached the topic that way. We’re both tired and that wasn’t the correct way to talk about it.”
“It’s…” He raises his eyebrows and you stop before you can say okay. “Right. I see now.”
“I gathered that the relationship, whatever it was, wasn’t healthy, but I never wanted to bring it up until you were ready. And I know it goes without saying, but I want to say it anyway. I will never lay a hand on you. I promise.”
“Thank you,” you murmur, lifting your free hand to stroke his cheek. “You have been so kind to me and I never know what to do with myself.” You shake your head slowly, smiling. “It’s like every time I start floating away, you’re right here, pulling me back down to earth.”
He lets go of your hand to wrap his fingers around your wrist, keeping your hand on his cheek so that when he turns his head, he kisses your open palm. “I’ll always be here to pull you back down.”
You let some silence pass before you say what you’ve been hiding all this time.
“He used to hit me,” you whisper. “It’s why it had been five years since I went on a date. Honestly, if Dave didn’t speak so highly of you, I don’t know that I would’ve even said yes that night. But I’m glad I did.”
“I’m glad you did, too.”
You smile softly. “Everything about you is so different from what he was. You’re such a gentle giant, you know that?”
He chuckles at the new description. “I guess I do now.”
“I just want you to know your gentleness never goes unnoticed or unappreciated. I love it. It makes me feel safe and loved and cared for. And I’m not used to it at all yet, but...I hope I’ll get there.” You pause. “I was having a rough day today with flashbacks and things. Today was our anniversary, but none of them were ever good, so I’ve been on edge.”
“Honey…”
“Even though I know nothing will happen because he’s gone and nothing bad has happened on this day for six years, it still… I still can’t shake it.”
“Well, let’s do everything we can to make the rest of this day the best day,” he says. “Let’s order your favorite for dinner. You pick the movie, and we can sit on the couch until we want to go to bed.”
“And then?”
“And then…?” He waits for your answer.
“And then...you make sweet love to me all night and go into work late tomorrow?” You add a shy grin, hoping to convince him.
But he needs no convincing. “Gladly,” he says, leaning forward to kiss you sweetly, softly, pulling you back to earth, weighed down with all his love.
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reidyoulikeabook · 3 years
Note
Hear me out I've been thinking about this concept for too long:
The BAU plays Never Have I Ever, but it gets progressively more targeted the longer they play.
Like... "Never have I ever,,drunk texted my ex" or "Never have I ever been married"
but eventually it gets to "Never have I ever faked my death and moved to Paris. Take the shot Emily." or "Never have I ever almost died of Anthrax. Don't look at me like that, Reid"
Thank you and have a great rest of your day/night
(okay i adore this concept you have a huge brain i hope it's okay i wrote a little something for it)
ship: gn! reader x spencer reid
warnings: alcohol mention, although reader isn't explicitly said to be drinking it others are, and jokes about faked death/near death experiences, and jokes about a mugging/robbery (it’s a lot more light hearted than it sounds i promise you), and some swearing!
The case had been far too long. Garcia had had to fly out because the police department's technology had been entirely inadequate and it was impossible for her to liason with them from afar, and she'd been here a week. It was safe to say everybody was more than ready to get home, but since a storm had chosen to roll over town, the jet had been grounded for the night.
It was this series of unfortunate events that led to everybody, even Hotch himself, saying 'fuck it' and taking up residence at the hotel bar for the night. Rossi was buying, after all. Even if he didn't know it yet.
You'd wound up crammed next to Spencer in a booth, your knees pressed together. He'd been cradling the same beer bottle for most of the night, mostly just picking at the label until it started to peel off. When Garcia notices this, she slams her fruity cocktail down on the slightly sticky table, shaking her head at him.
"I know what we should do," She chirps, loudly enough to draw everybody's attention, "Let's play never have I ever!"
Nobody has the energy to argue with her, or the willpower to resist her arguments. Hotch concedes with a nod, sighing, "I'll need to get another drink."
Emily murmurs in agreement, and you feel Spencer shift in his seat beside you. Most of them having departed for refreshments, you turn your attention to him.
There's a small grin quirking his lips, "I hope they realise I probably still won't have to drink."
You nudge him with your elbow, "It's Garcia. I'm sure you will."
You two share a private little laugh, and he takes a sip from the bottle, shrugging. The game starts up the second everybody returns, Garcia firing it off with "Never have I ever flown out to Texas."
Everybody groans, rolling their eyes as they take a sip. You exchange a small 'told-you-so' glance with Spencer, and he shakes his head affectionately.
It remains relatively friendly for a while, Hotch says one about handing in case reports late, which earns begrudging sips from Emily, Derek, and even Rossi. The first punch is thrown after Derek steals Emily's wine when she goes to the bathroom, taking a big glug from it. He says she won't notice, and despite the chorus of protests to the contrary, he remains undeterred.
She does notice. And she's unimpressed to say the least. When she comes back, another drink in hand, she flops into her seat.
"I think it's my turn," She announces.
"I think it was actually-" Garcia tries.
"Nope," Emily interrupts, taking a long sip of her drink and turning smugly to Derek, "Never have I ever run out of underwear on a case and had to wear my boxers inside out."
Derek's eyes narrow, "That was a whiskey secret."
"Tell me you didn't!" Penelope gasps, pulling a horrified face and pretending to shift her chair away from him.
"Real impressive bunch we've got here," Rossi notes to Hotch, chuckling.
Hotch raises his eyebrows, bringing his drink to his lips before clarifying, "I'm not drinking for the game. But it seems you probably should Morgan."
Morgan turns to you, as if looking for support and you laugh, "Not to say I told you so but," You shrug.
He groans, drinking and murmuring under his breath. While it didn't affect the rest of the team, it certainly spurred them into a different direction. Garcia's next one is a very quickly garbled "Never have I ever been divorced", and she practically shrinks into Morgan's lap to avoid the death glares Hotch and Rossi throw her way.
Hotch adjusts in his seat before taking his turn, "Never have I ever been caused a federal data breach by playing a game on government time."
You laugh first, a bubble of shock and amusement, “Hotch.”
He spares you a glance, his imitation of a grin, “Yes ____?”
Your response, which you hadn’t quite thought of anyway, is swept away in a series of jeers. A relatively fair mixture of surprise that Hotch has stepped up to the role of saboteour, and laughs purely at Penelope’s expense. You’re firmly a member of the former camp, alongside Spencer. You catch him in your peripheral, beaming at Hotch.
“Game’s a game baby girl,” Morgan grins, “That’s what you get for messing with Hotch.”
The teasing slows down the process, but you’re distracted by Spencer now. He’s shifted in his seat and his arm is right next to yours. You can feel the heat coming off it. Whether the movement was conscious or unconscious, you can’t be sure, but what you can be sure of is that the proximity is relatively distracting.
It’s his turn. Of course it is.
Very non-chalantly, without changing his posture, said as calmly as if he’s delivering a profile at the police station, he says it, “Never have I ever hidden under my desk from Strauss and gotten my colleague to lie to her that I was at a dentist appointment to avoid doing a Q&A with probationary agents.”
That bastard.
You feel yourself flush with warmth, and press your lips together in your best imitation of a neutral poker face. Everybody looks at each other with varying degrees of accusation, but it’s Emily’s eyes that come to land on you first.
She grins like a damn Cheshire cat, “Oh ____, I did not peg you for the insubordinate type.”
You feel the weight of eight gazes on your face, and you turn to glare at Spencer. He looks smug as all hell, not trying at all to suppress his glee at having dropped you in it, although he won’t meet your eye. Everybody’s laughing, including him, and you join in too, in spite of yourself.
“Oh you’re going to be sorry for that.”
And he is. On your next turn, you make a big show out of settling in your seat. Dramatically looking around the table, before angling yourself towards Spencer and looking directly at him, dryly delivering, “Never have I ever had to call my colleague from a bookstore because a bunch of teenage boys stole my cane.”
“You got mugged of your cane?” Emily asks incredulously.
“Oh my sweet precious boy,” Penelope cuts in.
You don’t hear Morgan or JJ’s comments because Spencer is looking at you, his mouth agape, the very picture of indignance, squeaking, “I can’t believe you told them about that!”
You can tell it’s put on though. He’s bright red, the blush poking up under his collar and licking at his cheeks, shaking his head vigorously as Morgan asks him varying questions about the appearance of the boys in question, whether he needs him to get him a sketch artist and whether he’d like to file a report for a regular robbery or a mugging.
Spencer huffs under his breath, flustered, “You’re going to regret that one.”
And regret it you do. Emily is had by JJ in ‘never have I ever faked my death and moved to Paris’, Morgan is had by Hotch in ‘never have I ever kicked in a door only to realise it wasn’t locked in the first place’, JJ is had by a very tipsy Garcia in a ‘never have I ever turned down three marriage proposals’, and you and Spencer have engaged in a private war that only escalates with each sip you have to take.
Emily is cradling her, once again, almost empty glass of wine, ready to take her turn after yet another round of friendly fire between you and Spencer.
She twirls it around in her hands, pointedly flicking her eyes between you both as she says it, “Never have I ever had a crush on a colleague.”
You and Spencer are similar shades of incredibly sheepish as you take a sip. Looking at each other in your peripherals, with a sense of shy knowing that you hadn’t had about thirty seconds prior. And yes, Emily is chastised into drinking her very last sip of wine, but she considers it to be worth it.
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hi I’m here to review the Clementine comic. it’s not good.
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Does this even need an introduction? You know why I’ve gathered you all here today. You know the comic exists, and you probably know that it’s not great and we’re all upset about it. 
Myself included. I am not okay. At all. 
Skybound could’ve literally spit in my face and I’d come out feeling better than I did reading this comic, because this comic is an insult to the original Telltale games and Clementine as a character. 
This comic is a fancy fanfic. Glorified fanfiction. It’s not canon, and Skybound and Tillie can pretend that it is, but it’s not. Bold of them to assume we’d just accept this from people who didn’t work on the original games and never wrote for Clementine before, and based on this comic alone, any chance of us taking it seriously is gone. 
I’m gonna go through every single page, every panel, of this comic and give you my review. So I guess if you’re worried about spoilers [though at this point why would you?] then be warned, spoilers for the entire comic ahead. 
I also wanna add that I have nothing against Tillie Walden. I know a lot of dingdongs are harassing her on insta over this comic and that’s not okay. You telling her how much you hate her isn’t going to change anything. If anything, you keep being assholes to her and she’s just gonna block everything out, even things simply critiquing her work in hopes that it helps her improve. 
You’re allowed to be upset about the comic and share your feelings about it, but don’t take it out on the actual human being like that. Besides, like I’ve said before, if Tillie wasn’t gonna make the comic, Skybound would’ve found someone else to do. This was coming no matter what because Skybound wants that coin. 
That being said, I’m not going to hold back my opinions on this comic. Skybound and Tillie made this comic, they put it out there and asked for money for it, therefore I’m allowed to explain why it’s garbage as well as ponder over the questionable intent and whether or not Tillie actually has played these games. Y’know, it’s like how I have nothing against Kent, but sometimes he says things I disagree with and well, y’know how it goes. 
Alright, this is gonna be long, so let’s go--
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The first few shots we get are of the school, two people sleeping, and Clementine’s empty bed. Nothing super note-worthy, we have no idea who is sleeping in the beds, it’s just there to establish that it’s early and everyone’s still asleep. 
The drawing of the school looks fine? Not super accurate, but I can give it a pass since it’s a few years later, I assume. What I can’t give a pass is how you managed to already mess up on the first page of your comic. 
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Because..... why are you implying that Clementine’s room is upstairs? First of all, seems kinda dumb to put Clem, who has only one leg and has to walk with crutches, upstairs. Also, if you’ve played TFS and paid any attention to where her room is actually located [the dorms] then you’d know there isn’t any stairs leading to their floor. It’s the side building next to the admin building, you walk through the door, go down the hall, take a left and their dorm is right there sooo..... 
Oh right, it’s probably done this way so that we can have such a suspenseful moment where Clementine is sneaking out while the others are asleep and her foot makes a creeeeeeakk that could wake everyone up, thwarting her plans of abandoning everyone quietly so she doesn’t have to deal with any consequences. 
Because yeah, Clementine is sneaking out with all of her supplies because apparently, she’s been planning an escape from this place for a while. 
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And just look at how gosh darn happy she is about it. You can’t see or hear me, but know that I’m laughing. Don’t worry, I will talk about her abandoning everyone later.
But first, I have a gripe with Clementine's design in this comic. It doesn’t look like her. This art of her right here is the most accurate we get throughout all 12 pages, and it’s the best looking, too. 
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Moving on, she slams the door shut while this walker changes faces and hair between panels, so that’s cool. I will say, I like the idea of the Ericson crew putting spikes on the door. That’s fun. 
Though Clementine slamming the door shut while trying to sneak out seems counter productive but it fits with the theme this comic has of inconsistency, so it works. 
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Next we have Clementine going to what I believe is the fishing shack by the river, and she’s going through some things that she’s stashed away, telling us that she’s been planning this escape for a while. 
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Oh good, she has a map. Well at least now she won’t get lost out there in the woods while she makes her escape... also that last panel with her profile.... why does it look so funny? Like this page of the comic doesn’t look too bad, but there is something off putting about her eye there and how she has zero expression. 
And it turns out that rustle was a walker, and Clementine is super inconvenienced by this and gives us our first piece of witty dialogue.
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Yeah you dumb walker, can’t you see Clementine is busy running away from home and abandoning all of her loved ones without a single goodbye so she doesn’t have to witness the consequences of her selfish actions?? Gosh, so rude.
Just a heads up, the dialogue in this comic is stilted, emotionless, and bland. The words have no flow, no charm, and never feel like they should be coming out of Clementine’s mouth. Then again, the upcoming graphic novels this is tied to are for young adult/middle graders so I guess we have to dumb everything down so their baby brains can process it. 
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.....Why does her face look like that? Also, interesting that she decided to move her ponytail to the other side of her head.... which is a thing that happens throughout this comic, her hair will randomly change sides. 
I believe it’s a metaphor for her changing and inconsistent personality. 
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So yeah, Clementine is just making off with the supplies she gathered [I’m sure Ericson doesn’t need ‘em anyway] and she’s just so gosh darn annoyed at all these small inconveniences bothering her.... because it’s just too early for this. 
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.....Again, why does her face look like that?
I’m sorry, like I get it, Tillie’s style is supposed to be purposely messy yet minimal but it doesn’t work. When you do a comic in a more messy style, usually it has charm and heart put into it. Effort goes into the messy look, and when things are minimal, that usually means more clean, yeah? So you put them together and just..... that is nothing resembling Clementine’s face. 
Can we just--
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Look at canon Clementine’s face. Look at the way her eyebrows are shapes, how wide her eyes are with her eye lashes. The dirt on her skin, the lines-- there is so much personality in her features. It doesn’t matter if she’s wearing a neutral expression or she’s expressing anger or joy or sorrow or whatever. 
Now, is it fair to compare a model of Clem from the games to the Clem in this comic? Well, I assume that if Tillie is doing this comic, she would use references from the game to ensure that Clementine is recognizable, especially now that she’s no longer wearing her signature hat. 
So why does she look like this? Why do I look at these drawings of her face and see nothing but a pair of eyes, a nose, and a mouth? You might as well draw me a simple smiley face. And I get that it’s a comic, and it’s a lot of work to draw the same character over and over again and you gotta cut corners somewhere, but maybe put some effort into the close up shots of her face so that we can actually see it’s her? 
Other fan artists have made comics in their styles that shine bright with Clementine’s personality, so what happened here? 
Anyway, surprise..... it’s not a walker annoying Clementine. 
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........Why does AJ look like that??? I’m sorry, I hate to do the same thing I just did but--
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Just because you put Clementine’s hat on AJ that doesn’t automatically make it him. I just.... wow. This feels like there wasn’t a single reference involved, like if someone gave Tillie a basic description of AJ and she just did this. 
But appearances aside, what is AJ saying? He says that he knew it, that Clementine’s leaving and I cannot stand this dialogue. It’s unnatural. Again, I know you wanna dumb it down for all of us because I guess we dumb.... but this conversation does not feel natural. 
“I knew it. You’re leaving.” “AJ....” “I’m coming.”
Even if you changed it to, “I’m coming with you.” it would sound more natural. Hell, he doesn’t even question WHY she’s leaving, he just stands there like “I’m coming” like??? I’m sorry, have you ever heard a single word this murder baby has said? I assume you have because I assume you actually played TFS, right? Soooo.... what happened here?
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.....whY DO THEIR FACES LOOK LIEK THAT KSAJDLKJAS:LKDJLKASJD:L--
So now we’re getting into it.... into the bullshit. 
Clementine tells AJ to go back to the school, and AJ says that she wasn’t even going to say goodbye..... and then more bad dialogue that sound unnatural when you try to fucking read it. 
First off.... AJ’s reaction to Clementine attempting to leave is barely anything. Again, I hate to keep questioning if you actually played TFS, but AJ would throw a fucking fit if he caught Clementine out here ALONE like this, attempting to leave. 
And then he says “Like last time? You were going to come back?” this sentence makes my brain hurt. I just.... “Like last time, right? You’re coming back?” UGH
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Wow, I feel nothing. 
I’m sitting here watching these two imposters with fucked up faces who are supposed to be Clementine and AJ and I feel nothing. 
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I’m not even going to comment on the faces anymore. You can see it. You know. 
So yeah... AJ tells her the #1 rule, and reminds her that she promised.
Y’know.... she promised that she would never leave him again? Remember? At the McCarroll ranch? That flashback that was in TFS? The one you would watch if you played the game? 
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Why is she looking straight at me when she should be looking at AJ as she says this? Is this Clementine’s way of telling me she’s sorry for what a shitty direction this is taking? I wouldn’t know because her face isn’t doing anything. Just because you draw a couple of tears that doesn’t mean I’m feeling the emotional heartbreak you’re attempting to convey. 
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I don’t have enough middle fingers for this.
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Well, my hat’s off to you. Ya did it. Ya fucked up everything single part of Clementine’s character in the span of two pages, I’m almost impressed. 
First off, the baby thing is weird. Why is she calling him that? She’s never called him that, which you should know.
Second, she’s not happy and that’s why she’s leaving. Clementine isn’t happy, and AJ can’t make her happy. Ericson can’t make her happy. So she’s going to go out on the road to.... what, be unhappy by herself? 
I’m sorry, but apparently we need a few reminders here of who Clementine is, because this isn’t her. 
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This is Clementine. 
Clementine fought for years to find a home, something she hasn’t had since she was an eight-year-old girl before the apocalypse. The motor-inn wasn’t a home, the cabin wasn’t home, the ski-lodge, Howe’s, Wellington, Richmond, Prescott, none of them were home. 
She struggled for years, dealing with trauma after trauma while out on the road. She went from group to group, watching people she cared about die and she was powerless to do anything about it. Whenever she let her guard down and become comfortable, it bit in her in the ass and left her heartbroken.
She was there when AJ was born. She grew close to Rebecca while she was pregnant, she let herself do that even after everything she went through with Christa. Clementine had a bond with AJ even before he was born, and after Rebecca died, she did what she could to keep him safe, despite play choice. 
She cried when she thought AJ died and when she found him in that car again. She swore to protect him, to raise him right and love him. All they had was each other. 
And when she joined the new frontier and AJ got sick, she risked everything to save him and she was devastated when they took him away from her. When she found out he was alive, she is willing to go as far as helping Lingard overdose [INJECTING HIM HERSELF IF SHE HAS TO] to figure out his location. She did shitty things to find him, she killed people at McCarroll Ranch to find him again. 
Clementine raised him and he is her family, do you understand that? She went to hell and back for him, she taught him how to protect himself, and even though she made mistakes she sacrificed everything for him. She promised him that they would have a home of their own one day, she talked about how much she wished for a world where she didn’t have to worry about fighting and killing and AJ could just be a happy kid. 
She fought for Ericson, she watched her friends die or become mutilated by someone from her past. She allowed herself to be vulnerable enough to pursue a romantic relationship with Louis or Violet because she felt safe with them, felt safe at Ericson because it’s their home now. 
And when Clementine was bit, she thought she was going to die but she still fought to make sure AJ would be safe and happy without her and it was heartbreaking. She’s dying and the only thing she cares about is AJ. Not herself, not what’s going to happen to her after she dies or turns... no, she tries to make AJ smile again, she makes sure he remembers the rules, and she tells him that she loves him. 
Then he cuts off her leg, and she survives. AJ saved her fucking life, and she got to wake up at home and live to see her family again. She got to push AJ on a tire swing, she got to eat a hot meal and laugh with her friends, she got to make plans with her lover/best friend for what’s next for Ericson, and she got to talk to AJ and tell him the truth... and she asked him if she did a good job, and he’s honest with her right back. 
Hell, she tells him to keep her hat. Her iconic hat. The one thing she has left of her father, possibly her more cherished item. She lets him keep it. 
The last time we see Clementine, she’s happy. She’s sitting on the steps by herself, staring at her family with such fondness in her eyes and a smile on her face because she finally did it. She finally found a home where she can breathe. She has a bed to sleep in, she has AJ with her, she has a boyfriend/girlfriend who loves her and who she loves back, she has friends she can rely on. 
Clementine smiles, and lets out a small laugh. 
She doesn’t have to run anymore. 
And now you have the balls to tell me that AJ and Ericson don’t make Clementine happy anymore. 
She abandons everything to go back out on the road again, and that’s proof enough for me that you don’t understand a damn thing about Clementine or her journey. 
“ I don't even know the person I'm talking about... It's like all we have in common is the same name.” 
....Anyway.
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Wow, Clementine found a car and kept is stashed. How lazy and convenient for this bullshit plot. 
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And this is the part where I have to tell this comic to fuck off. 
What, you think if you throw in an incredibly inaccurate flashback next to a current pair of hugging Clem and AJ that I’ll feel anything but anger? That flashback is a slap to the face. It’s snowing, but the only time we’ve seen snow is in S2 when AJ was a literal new born, so why is he that big? Is that supposed to be from ANF because that ALSO doesn’t look like that AJ, and that’s not the outfit Clementine had on... AND there was no snow. This is cheap and meaningless. 
Any fan of the series who has played through the games could tell you this. 
So.... AJ runs into the woods and then we get this garbage.
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This comic is awful. It misses the point of everything TFS, and the rest of the series, stood for. There is no heart here. I feel no happiness in reading it, and I don’t detect any passion behind it. It’s a lifeless comic that retcons everything in order to throw AJ away and start fresh with a new adventure for Clementine that makes no sense because the cow isn’t profitable unless it’s milked. 
This isn’t canon, and it won’t ever be canon, and honestly? At this point, I have no faith in the graphic novel trilogy. It will take a lot to do a turn around from this, and I don’t even know if that’s possible. 
Again, to reiterate, I don’t have anything personal against Tillie Walden herself. She’s just doing her job, and from what I’ve seen of her as a person, she seems like a sweetheart. I don’t want anyone giving her shit because I think the comic isn’t good or that you agree with me. All of my anger is directed at the comic itself, her work, not specifically her.... and a little bit at Skybound, because they’re the reason this is even a thing in the first place. 
So yeah.... there ya have it. 
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thisismynerdyself · 3 years
Text
Tease Pt. 2
part 1
aaron hotchner x fem!bau!reader
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18+ only
Summary: after the wild turn of events on the case at the club, you have to face your team and the inevitably relentless teasing. but not everyone can laugh it off so easily
Warnings: 18+/sexual theme, refers to events of pt 1, mentions of strip club/night club setting, mentions of past lap dance
WC: 2.5k
A/N: the response to tease was so great that I decided to write a part 2 even though i hadn’t originally intended to. but i’m actually super happy with where this went, and i hope you all love it as much as i loved creating it 💕 as always, i love to hear your thoughts and appreciate all feedback
There’s something so special and soothing about an undercover operation coming to an end. Especially when the operation put you into situations you could never in a million years have anticipated.
The night of your… encounter with your teammates had ended exactly as intended. The unsub was apprehended after attempting to evade the prying eye of the agents he suspected to be in attendance. He gave himself away with his nervous fidgeting and constant paranoia, so once Garcia managed to ID him and confirm his guilt, your fellow agents moved in. And thus a successful case.
But this case wouldn’t be so easy to forget. As you dressed and gathered your meager belongings from the dressing rooms, you attempted to prepare yourself for the teasing remarks from your comrades. You tried to imagine what they could say and prepare some witty replies, just in case. But soon you would learn that once again, your team was full of surprises.
With your bag slung over your shoulder, you joined the rest of your team at the surveillance van. The first surprise: you didn’t expect their applause. They were all laughing and clapping, so you smiled and bowed as you approached, you could play along.
“You got more than you bargained for in there, huh?” JJ was the first to nudge your arm and wink.
“Oh I think they’re the ones who got more than they bargained for.” You could dish it right back. “I should have charged you guys extra for pain and suffering.”
Derek’s hand flew to his chest in mock hurt. “Hey, from where I was sitting, we were total and complete gentlemen. You couldn’t have asked for better… customers?” His voice lifted at the end, as if questioning if that’s the term he should use. It felt wrong.
You had to admit, he made an excellent point. They were gentlemen, they respected you, and they easily could have blown the operation by giving up out of embarrassment. But you all stuck it out.
“You’re right. I won’t deny that halfway through, I realized I was actually lucky to not have to grind my ass all over some random stranger.”
“Alright guys, let’s pack it up and head out.” You hadn’t even realized that Hotch hadn’t been in the circle until he interrupted and dismissed the group so you could all go home. And were you imagining things or did he refuse to meet your gaze?
Together, you all packed away into the signature SUVs and met back up at the jet, eager to take off and get home by the morning.
You had hoped that the jet would be calm and quiet, that everyone would pass out right away, but the energy of the night infected the cabin as well. You could hear the teasing comments being exchanged with the guys and you were thankful they weren’t targeted at you.
Then your ears pricked up at one particular question and you tuned in. It was Emily. “Rossi, how do you feel being the only one who didn’t go in tonight?”
All eyes turned to Dave. He chuckled to himself. “I can assure you, I’m quite content with how the night turned out. As I’m sure you all are.” He winked and looked at the other three to gauge their reactions.
Emily hadn’t quite had enough yet. “Y/N, I think you missed out, actually. Imagine how much richer you’d be if Rossi was the one tipping?”
Your head flew back as you laughed. “Dave, just say the word and pull out your wallet. I’ve still got that costume in my bag.” You were only partially joking. He really would have been a good tipper. Damn, missed opportunity.
Your comment elicited a roar of laughter from everyone. Even Hotch cracked a smile, despite his semi-characteristic silence over everything.
Through the raucous, you felt a sort of peace wash through you. This was good. Everyone laughing it off now meant maybe it wouldn’t drag out for too long.
“Y/N,” it was Spencer now, “I have to admit, im the one with the PhDs, but tonight you managed to teach me something.”
“And what’s that?” Now you were really curious.
“The value of personal space.” Another howl of laugher erupted and you reached across the seats to pat him on the shoulder. You were glad he could laugh about it now, too, considering the petrified look on his face back in the club when he realized what you had to do.
“I don’t like personal space, so feel free to invade anytime, Y/L/N.” You shot Derek a look of comedic shame, but once again, you would take this playful banter and joking over awkward silence or avoided gazes any day.
Speaking of which, you still hadn’t managed to get Hotch’s attention since you walked away from their table. You wondered if you had crossed a boundary that put him over the edge. Or selfishly, and embarrassingly, you wondered if you hadn’t been as good at the dance as you thought. Maybe he really was miserable the whole time and couldn’t find it in him to joke about it. You shouldn’t even care, you were an FBI agent, not a night club dancer. But something about it still nibbled away at the edge of your mind.
When the jet touched down on familiar ground, everyone made moves to get up and get out. But none moved quite so fast as Hotch. Like he couldn’t wait to get out of there. You pretended not to notice his hurry, not to draw attention to it.
Filing into the bullpen one by one, each person’s return ritual had begun, allowing everyone to get ready to go home to sleep in their own beds.
You left with everyone else, but you couldn't help the nagging feeling that this whole ordeal wasn’t quite over yet.
After a few days off to rest and recover from the exhausting case, you finally returned to work. And your team had all but moved on from the events of the past week. Well, the occasional knowing laugh and teasing joke was nothing compared to what you were afraid could have happened.
All was as it should be, except for one minor detail. Your boss still had yet to speak to you directly after your encounter. At first, you attempted to brush it off as accidental avoidance. But even in a group setting, you were the only one who couldn’t meet his gaze, the only one he didn’t address specifically.
This went on for days, and after a week of avoidance, you knew it couldn’t continue. So you summoned what courage had returned to you since the night you expended it all at the night club, and strutted your way up to Hotch’s office. You knocked on the door and absolutely hated to wait for the faint “come in” because you could feel the courage slipping away. But finally you pushed your way in and faced your boss for the first time since you had so elegantly grinded your ass in his lap.
“Hotch, I need to talk to you.” His eyes glanced up from the file on his desk, pen in hand. But his gaze snapped back down and he continued writing as if you weren’t there.
“I’m a bit busy right now, Y/L/N.”
Not today he wasn’t. You pressed on, further inserting yourself in the room, refusing to be brushed aside. “Why are you avoiding me? You haven’t looked me in the eye in a week - ever since that case - yet everyone else is perfectly content to laugh and move on.” He stopped writing, but still wouldn’t look up. So you went on. “I get it, it was a weird night. I think I know that as well as anyone else. But the silent treatment isn’t going to help either of us get back to normal. And if I did something wrong, then please tell me so I can be better for the next case.” Maybe you were harsh, but as far as you were concerned, you were the one with the harder job here. You practically threw yourself onto your closest friends and all they had to do was take it.
A silence fell on the room and you waited patiently for Hotch to react in some way. You felt like crossing your arms and tapping your foot, but this was an adult conversation about adult topics.
Hotch dragged his hand over his face and sighed heavily. “You’re right, and I’m sorry for…” he waved his hand around as if summoning the words to say next. “I’ve been trying for days to figure out how to approach this conversation.” You raised your eyebrows, encouraging him to continue. “You’re right that the case took an… interesting turn and you performed wonderfully. Uh, I mean, you adapted very well to the changes.” You could swear this man was about to sweat with the effort of summoning the words to say. “You didn’t do anything wrong. If anyone did, it was me.” He averted his gaze to look toward the window, and you were instantly confused. What had he done?
“I’m sorry, but what are you talking about?”
“You know what, forget it.” He shook his head and once again, deflected any real conversation over what was really going on.
“No, no you’re not going to do that again. We’re talking about this now.” Where had this confidence come from? You didn’t know, but you weren’t backing down.
Defeated and resigned, he took one long, deep, preparatory breath. “Y/N, I was… unprofessional and I apologize.” Unprofessional? “I was sure you could tell, and that’s why I’ve avoided bringing it up to you since.”
He was sure you could tell what? OH.
“Sir, are you talking about your, um,” your gaze instinctively flicked downward and back up within an instant, “response to the, uh, lap dance?” Saying the words out loud sounded so much worse than they had in your head. At this point, if Hotch didn’t see that you were equally as uncomfortable with this discussion as he was, then what was he doing as a profiler anyway?
The way he cringed confirmed your suspicion. You simply nodded in solidarity and understanding. You couldn’t help the smirk that snuck in as you shared your next tidbit. “Hotch, you weren’t the only one who was a little… excited over the action that night. Have you talked to Derek or Spencer about it? Because I have and trust me, they were just as ‘unprofessional’ as you.” A little laugh escaped your lips at the way this day was turning out.
You focused intently on your boss’s facial expressions, his reaction to your previous remark. He narrowed his eyes and scrunched his eyebrows like he does when he’s deep in thought. Now more than ever you wished you could see through a window straight into his brain. That would have been easier than this long, drawn out meeting in his office, when you were sure the rest of your team was eagerly awaiting a report on what went down up here.
He still didn’t seem like he knew what to say, so you offered more to help him along. “What do I have to do? Tell me, what will it take to get back to normal? You do realize I can’t possibly work here if my own boss can’t look me in the eye or speak to me without extreme discomfort. If we can’t move on from this,” your sight grew cloudy as your mind cleared up with the only other answer, “I’ll have to leave the unit.”
That did it. Finally, Hotch locked onto your gaze. “No.” Was that all he could say. “No, that’s not- you don’t have to do that.”
Your voice softened. “Then what else can I do?”
At this, Hotch rose from his seat and walked around to the front of his desk, leaning back against it as he once again sorted through his rambling thoughts. “Y/N, there’s nothing you need to do, I’m the one who needs to just figure this out and move on.”
But you still couldn’t pinpoint what he needed to figure out. You had been clear that what happened hadn’t bothered you. You had been clear that you held nothing against him or the others. The only other reason he couldn’t just forget about it was if- no. Impossible.
“Hotch…” you began hesitantly. How could you possibly ask him this? “This is about more than just one night’s worth of feelings, isn’t it?” Was that gentle enough of prodding?
He simply closed his eyes, admission. The room was palpably silent, yet not uncomfortable as you had expected it to be. In that silence, you stepped closer to your boss, one step at a time. “Please, just be honest with me. I deserve at least that much.”
“You deserve much more.”
You kept your voice low and gentle, inviting. “So tell me what you’re thinking. I might be good at profiling killers, but I’m no mind reader, Hotch.”
He stood up from his position leaning against the desk. “So what, you want me to admit that I enjoyed it just a little too much? That I couldn’t stop thinking about it for days after the case had ended? Is that what you want me to say?” He was losing his countenance, panicking over where all of this was headed. You hadn’t meant for all of this to happen, but if this was what it took, then so be it.
“If that’s the truth, then yes, that’s exactly what I want to hear.” By now you stood directly in front of him. Not even a foot of space separated you from him. If you focused enough, you could hear his breathing. But you were too distracted by the way his eyes followed your every movement. “You know, there was one thing I didn’t do that night, I think it would have made all of this more complicated. Or maybe it would have made it all crystal clear.” The now sultry lilt in your voice drew him in, he could think of nothing else than kissing you.
But you moved first, perhaps you were a mind reader after all. You brought your hands to his jaw, drawing his face toward yours until your lips met his. Softer than you would have guessed and oh-so-delicious. You slipped your tongue between his teeth before your brain could tell you it wasn’t a good idea. And it was all the invitation he needed to reciprocate the emotion behind the action. His hands wrapped around your waist and pulled you ever closer, confirming everything you had begun to unravel in the previous few minutes. After numerous seconds of the heated exchange, you pulled away reluctantly, and left a trail of gentle kisses along his jaw up to his ear. Then you whispered in his ear, lips grazing against his skin. “So, um… I don’t know if you heard me when we were on the jet but, uh, I’ve still got that costume at home.”
*****
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Picture Perfect
AYO! its me back with more content for the second time this week while i ignore my other wips again. this is a lil gift for @queen-o-leen who i promised wholesome content for! I hope you like it!
Timinette/Timari Oneshot 1.9K words (not related to my other timari oneshots)
Summary:
“Tim spends a nice day in a park in Paris and takes a picture of a pretty girl.
He somehow gets an almost date out of it.”
no warnings this time. completely family-friendly. I know i surprise myself with this one too.
without further ado
He would be the last to admit that Jason was right and that time away was what he needed at this point in life but it can’t be ignored that, for the first time in possibly three years, Tim was having a wonderful day. He was having a wonderful week actually. After one too many unsuccessful cold cases and the simmering anxiety of off-world missions, his family, primarily Jason, for some reason, demanded that he take some time off and away from his unusual brand of normal. How that meant being sent across the Atlantic Ocean to Paris of all places, he wasn’t entirely sure. Alfred probably had a hand in that decision given that, as part of his forced vacation, Tim was not allowed to actually plan any of it. Him. Timothy Jackson Drake. The guy who stalked and manoeuvred his way into Batman’s house and team. The guy who tracked and found said man when the universe thought he was dead but was actually drifting through time. Yeah, Tim was not pleased about being led blind on his vacation. 
At least Paris was a nice city. And he brought his camera. He figured he could use this time to get back into old hobbies and what better hobby to start up again in the city of love than photography? He’s taken pictures of every tourist attraction worth visiting by his second day and began to take candid shots of people and animals. Would Damian like the animal pictures? Maybe, if they came from someone who wasn’t Tim. Is he going to try and give them to him anyways? Absolutely not. He liked his liver where it is, thank you very much. They would serve as great bribing material however. But that’s a thought for another day. 
Right now he was working on capturing what could possibly be described as the stereotypical outing with friends. He’s sitting along some bushes near the entrance of a park and staring at a group of teens his own age hanging around. He spots a brunette with thick curls of hair animatedly speaking with a guy in a vibrant cap. She’s waving a camera herself, and he appreciates her taste in equipment. Her eyes spark with fox-like mischief while the cap guy has a peaceful aura about him; like an old turtle. Next he sees a blonde, her hair is in a ridiculously high ponytail and she’s in a deep conversation with a red head off to the side of the whole group; her words are rushing out of her and she’s a buzzing bee with excitement. Another blond is in the area, but he sits in a broad patch of sun possibly napping with an open book on his chest. Very cat-like Tim supposes. He barely pays them more than a second of thought however. No. 
His focus is on the quaint beauty directly in his line of sight. She’s poised up against the giant tree trunk with a sketchbook in her lap and pencils surrounding her. Her hair hangs by her shoulders in twintails and it’s a colour so dark it seems to absorb the shade of the tree. She’s scribbling furiously on the page before her and her tongue is slightly peaking out to the side. Her forehead is creased with stress lines and her shoulders hunch slightly over her frame. She’s the vision of deep concentration and dedication and Tim would be a fool not to capture her. He’s gotten wide shots of her companions but now he wants to focus on her. 
Looking through the lens of his camera he zooms in on her profile. When his camera focuses, he spots a constellation of freckles across her cheeks, barely there, almost blending in with her complexion but Tim is nothing if not hypervigilant. He goes to take another photo when a bug flies into view. It’s a ladybug. It lands precariously on the tip of her nose and it’s just the thing that breaks her out of her work-induced trance. Tim is watching her now, long forgetting to click the shutter. Her eyes cross as she stares intently at the black-spotted creature and its presence seems to amuse her. She’s giggling to herself, as if sharing an inside joke with the bug and reaches a slim finger to swipe the insect gently from her nose. She inspects it and smiles a smile so soft that not even a feather could compare. He feels like an intruder. More so than one who takes pictures of cute strangers in public. 
Coming back to his senses, he takes another picture, the final picture, and lowers the camera from his face. He looks back at his temporary muse and finds that she is already looking at him. Her head tilts in confusion. Apprehension. Possibly a bit of fear. Which is valid given that Tim was pointing a camera at her from across the public park. What should he do though to quell her fears? 
He felt his face lift into a grin; he didn’t need to look at himself to know it was awkward and forced. A shrug of his shoulders and a flimsy wave of the camera in his hand was the only thing he did. Before he could begin to stumble over himself in apology, however, she surprised him. With a cautious hunch, her shoulders brought up to her ears, and an embarrassed smile to match his own, she slowly flips her sketchbook around and he comes face to face with, well, his face. It was a portrait of him. She had drawn a portrait of him. And she was showing him. Feeling embolden, he flips his camera to show her the screen but she’s too far away. He gets up on unsteady legs, cramped from his uncomfortable position, and begins a slow stride towards her. She meets him in the middle.
“Hi.” He barely speaks those words. They’re more like an exhale or a sigh of relief that he hadn’t scared her off. 
“Hi, I hope you don’t mind the drawing.” Her voice is high and light. Like a spring breeze. She’s daintily waving at him and he sees that her fingers are rough, and calloused. Unexpected but he finds it rather charming. Before he could get another word in, she’s off like an engine. “I just saw you there, and you had your camera so I figured you were taking pictures of us and thought that if you were then you wouldn’t mind me sketching you in kind but I should have asked and I’m sorry for breaching your privacy—” 
“Wait, slow down.” He fears that if he hadn’t interrupted her when he did she would run out of oxygen. Did she even breathe during her spiel? A voice in his head, that sounds like Cass, utters a soft ‘pot, kettle’ and okay, he sees a lot of himself in her mile-a-minute style of speaking. 
“No need to apologize. I’m flattered, truly. You were right, I was taking pictures of you. And your friends!” he hastily adds that last part. He turns his camera so the display screen faces her and he feels himself hold his breath in anticipation. 
A blush rises to her cheeks, red like the ladybug that interrupted her. He quite likes that colour on her. His eyes drift to the sketch and he’s further impressed by her skill. She has an eye for detail. He notices a bird in the background. It’s a robin. That piques his interest and lights a flicker of fear within him. 
“May I ask,” he begins slowly, unsure of what that little addition could mean. Did she know? How could she? Was his identity compromised?
“Why did you draw a robin in the background? It’s lovely but I’m curious,” he finishes. He’s going to play dumb until he has more information. She seems taken off guard by the question and raises her shoulders to her ears again in an embarrassed hunch.
“Well,” she starts, but she seems unsure and the words die on her tongue. She tries again.
“I just saw it fly by and then it landed behind you. So I thought ‘why not?’ and drew it. It seemed fitting.” She wasn’t looking him in the eye and now he felt kind of felt like a jerk for baselessly accusing some random girl. Of course it was just a coincidence. This bat-paranoia was going to be the end of him one day. It’s by sheer miracles and luck why it hasn’t already. 
“Oh, no worries. It just surprised me because it’s my favourite bird.” Right. Lie to the pretty French girl. But what else could he do? Tell her the truth?
“Then it’s a cool coincidence, huh?” She seems encouraged by that tidbit of information.
“Yeah, pure luck on your part.”
“What?” She seems more startled at that than Tim thinks she should be but before he can think deeper into it she speaks again and he would be a fool to not give her his undivided attention.
“Why did you take a picture of me with the ladybug? If you don’t mind me asking.” That stumps him because, to be honest, he does not know why himself. It just felt right. So he tells her as such.
“Well that would be another coincidence because ladybugs are my favourite insects.” She gives him a full smile alongside that statement and the brilliance of it almost blinds him. He wants to capture that smile for eternity. 
The thought strikes him. He doesn’t want this moment to end. He knows by the Friday of next week he’ll be flying back to Gotham where it’s business as usual and Red Robin won’t have time for commitments and puppy love. But right now? Right now Tim Drake is on vacation with a week and half left and all the time in the world to entertain the idea of a spring romance. Making the decision, he goes for it and takes the chance.
“I was getting a bit hungry. Do you know anywhere that’s good to eat at?” It’s an offer, open to interpretation. If she just lists some place, he knows where her interests lay. If she offers to escort him somewhere, then she’s taken the bait for exactly what it is, an invitation for more; whatever more is. He hopes she takes the bait. 
“Yes I do actually! My parents own a bakery just outside the park.” Her enthusiasm is uplifting and the offer of a place so personal is a good sign in Tim’s book. “Let me show the way, and I could join you if you would like.”
“Perfect. That’s wonderful. It will be my treat since you’re going out of your way on my account.”
“Nonsense. Like I said, it’s my parents’ bakery. They’ll be more than happy to give some complimentary snacks.” She loops her arm around his and begins to drag him to the park gate. She’s strong and her grip is firm and Tim feels lightheaded at the ease with which she pulls him. He can’t help but be swept up in the tides that is this girl. 
“I’m Tim, by the way. Tim Drake.” He offers his name, something he should have done at the beginning.
She looks back at him over her shoulder and he’s caught up in the oceans of her eyes. They’re alight with joy. 
“Nice to meet you, Tim. I’m Marinette Dupain-Cheng.” 
“Nice to meet you too.”
They’re almost by the bakery now, he can smell the fresh baked goods from here, and he can’t wait to sit down and get to know this girl better. Maybe get her number by the end of their lunch.
Yeah. Tim was having a wonderful day.
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queenbrightwhitly · 3 years
Text
Stalker
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“Ugh, this is by far the worse day of my life.” You fell back on your bed dramatically, spreading out across your sheets.
Dani stood in the door way with JT; both looking amused. “It’s for your own good, plus this way we can keep a close eye on you.”
You scoffed, looking up at both of them annoyed. “You both aren’t even going to be here! It’s some guys that Gil found in the office with nothing else better to do than babysit.”
“It’s not babysitting.” Dani said.
“It’s babysitting.” JT stated. Dani glared at him, JT only shrugged. “No point in lying to her, it is what it is. We should honestly get the SWAT to watch over you, knowing you’ll probably ignore us and do something stupid.”
You rolled your eyes. “I get a few creepy stalker letters and now I’m under house arrest. Perfect.” Proping up you smiled brightly. “You both should totally stay, we can order pizza and play monopoly, I also have UNO.”
“This isn’t a sleep over Y/n. This is serious.” JT scolded.
You huffed, folding your arms you started pouting like a child. Mostly to annoy JT further. “Malcolm would play UNO with me. Where is he anyways?”
Dani smiled. “Your Prince Charming is currently looking into a lead with Gil about your stalker. He wanted to make sure they got the right guy.”
You wanted to sass something back. Dani knew about your little fondness for the profiler, but JT certainly didn’t, and you didn’t want him to. He would never let you live it down. You were surprised that Malcolm himself hadn’t figured you out... Than again he could have and not said anything.
“Whatever, you guys are no fun anyways.” You reached over to grab the remote, turning on the tv you saw out of the corner of your eye them leaving. This was going to be a long boring night.
You spent the last few hours, doing random things. You started with your laundry, than you went and made yourself breakfast for dinner, finally you had settled with changing into your PJs with a bowl of fresh popcorn as you were scrolling though the tv trying to find a movie to watch.
Suddenly hearing a knock on the door, you froze, getting up you peaked outside to see the police officers had left. When did that happen?
The door banging was louder this time, making you flinch. Quietly moving to the kitchen you grabbed the small pistol you kept hidden under the sink. You slowly walked closer to the door, the banging not letting up, you got closer and proceeded to lean against it. Looking through the peep hole you sighed in relief upon seeing none other than Malcolm Bright himself.
Unlocking your latch you opened the door. Malcolm smiles widely at you. Looking down at your hand his smile dropped and he looked more concerned now.
“Come on in.” You greeted happily, ignoring the way Malcolm kept looking at you. You knew that he was profiling you. “I just made popcorn, want some?”
“Why do you have a gun?” Malcolm asked.
You rolled your eyes turning around to face him. “Well, Malcolm. When you get a bunch of creepy love letters and get the feeling that someone is watching you, a gun just becomes a part of your household accessories.”
Before he had the chance to respond you walked over to your kitchen counter and set the gun on top. Malcolm closed the door behind him and sat down on one of your kitchen stools. He was eying the gun, looking like he hadn’t seen one before.
“What are you doing here Malcolm? And where’s my babysitters?”
Malcolm turned back to you, an amused smile gracing his face. You tired your best to act casual, but you felt yourself get nervous.
“Gil and I found the guy who was sending the letters. Apparently he was planning on coming to your apartment tomorrow to try and see you. He told us everything once JT got into his face, he wasn’t as nearly as threatening as he was writing about himself in those letters.”
You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. “Well, I’m glad that’s over with.” Malcolm nodded, taking another look at your gun again.
“Malcolm, why do you keep looking at my gun?” You asked, causing him to put his gaze back on you.
“Sorry, I just,” stoping for a second he continued. “You were really scared. I just didn’t realize how scared.”
“What are you talking about?”
Malcolm nodded towards the gun. “I’m guessing you didn’t feel comfortable with the officers Gil left for you. Plus your hand hasn’t stopped shaking this whole time.”
You glanced down at your hand to see it was indeed shaking. Taking your other one you placed it on top your wrist trying to still your movements. “Dani also happen to mention you weren’t too happy about none of us being here.”
“Yeah, well I can’t blame you. You were out finding my stalker, so thanks for that.” You shrugged, looking anywhere but him.
Malcolm nodded. “Dani also said something about you wanting to play UNO with me? I’m not quite sure what that means”
“Oh my, she-“ you instantly groaned in frustration. “I’m going to shot her.”
Malcolm smiled, taking a hold of your hand across the table he brought it to his lips. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something Y/n.”
“Ok?” You kept you eye on Malcolms hand in yours, moving his thumb across your palm.
“I’ve been taken notice of you lately, and based on certain bahavior it’s seems you may have particular feelings for me. Is this true?”
Malcolm kept his eyes on you, watching intently for any sort of reaction. He felt your hand still in his own, noticing your lack of eye contact with him.
You sighed, fully aware you’ve been caught. Not like you really had a chance in the first place. “I feel like you already know the answer to that.”
“Doesn’t mean I don’t want you to clarify it for me.” Malcolm said.
“Should I even go as far as to do that?” Malcolm smiled, his hand pulling yours back up to him, his lips pressing a gentle kiss to your knuckles.
“I would really be thrilled if you did.”
You smiled, walking around the table you stood right in front of Malcolm, his hand never letting go of yours.
Leaning over you softly whispered in his ear. “ I happen to have particular feelings for you, Malcolm Bright.”
Just as you said that, Malcolm let go of your hand and placed both of his on your cheeks. It took you a second to realize he was kissing you, but once you did you instantly kissed him back.
His hands roamed from your cheeks to your waist pulling you closer to him. You stood right between his legs which were hanging off the bar stool. You had one hand on his chest while the other was tangled in his hair. He wasn’t letting up in the kiss, which went from a sudden kiss to wild make out session.
Malcolm leaned forward, wrapping his arms around your legs be stood up and carried you with him. Walking over to the couch, Malcolm sat down with you on top of him. You straddled his lap, his hands on your hips drawing circles.
You both needed air but Malcolm was the one who pulled back first. Resting his forehead against yours, you both were breathing heavily. Malcolm looked down at you, his pupils were blown wide, his breathing slowly going back to normal.
“Wow.”
You looked at him questioning. “I really hope that was a good wow.”
Malcolm looked down, smiling he nodded. “Yes, very much so.”
Suddenly a noise came from outside causing you to jump. You tried to reach for your gun but suddenly became panicked, Malcolm instantly took notice and took a hold of your shoulders.
“Hey, are you okay? You’re-“ Malcolm stopped himself, taking notice of your behavior. “You’re still terrified. Y/n, you know he’s gone. This guy is officially locked away.”
You nodded, looking around you sat yourself on the couch next to Malcolm and grabbed the blanket that was resting on top of your couch. “I know.” resting his arm on the couch, holding his head up with his hand he stared at you.
“Talk to me,” Malcolm spoke softly. Reaching up he placed a stray hair behind your ear.
You sighed, smiling briefly. “I’m normally not so paranoid. It’s just- the last time I wasn’t, someone died. I guess, being put on the sidelines kinda just made me think of what might happen to one of you guys.”
Malcolm nodded. “That’s why you wanted Dani, JT, and I to be here. It wasn’t about not having someone you knew or the fact that you would be bored by yourself. You didn’t want us getting hurt looking for your stalker.”
“You all shouldn’t have to deal with my problems, much less if you guys are going to get hurt doing it. I can take care of myself, I’m a cop ya know.”
Malcolm smiled. “Indeed you are. Although I’m kinda glad you said something, I wouldn’t be here otherwise.” 
“Is that so wise guy?” You smirked, taking a hold of his tie and bringing him closer. Malcolm smiled, leaning forward he connected his lips to yours. Both of you became tangled with each other, Malcolm rubbed his hand up and down your leg through your blanket, while his other one came up and caressed the side of your cheek.
Wrapping your arms around his neck you messed with the back of his hair, his bangd were now in front of his face all messy and tangled. Pulling back you tried to catch your breath, Malcolm on the other hand attached himself to your neck. His lips were soft and warm, the feeling sending chills up your spine.
Just when things were starting to go further both your phones started ringing. Sighing, you reached in your pocket to see Dani’s name come across your screen. Malcolm showed you his phone and sure enough Gils name popped up.
“I think that’s our sign we better get up.” You joked, moving to stand up, you helped Malcolm get up, his hand interlocking with yours.
“We’ll finish this later.” Malcolm said, leaning down he kissed the top of your head. “I never thought I would be so disappointed to have a case.”
“I’m sure that will change when you find something stupid to do.” You teased, leaning your head on Malcolms, you both made your way to the precinct.
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a-simple-gaywitch · 3 years
Text
Coffee Encounters
Tumblr media
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Gideon!Reader
Summary:  When (Y/N) spills a coffee on Spencer Reid, he doesn't expect her to become a huge part of his life.
Warnings: Mutual Pining, Angst, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Substance Abuse, Criminal Minds-Typical Violence
Word Count: 4,481
A/N: My first tumblr-published fic in a WHILE! I’m rewriting my tag list, so if you want to be tagged, message me!
“What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?”
- Vincent Van Gogh
The coffee shop was filled with people rushing to get their caffeine fix before work. You turned around and spilled your iced caramel mocha all over a tall, lanky man in an oversized sweater vest behind you.
“Oh, my gosh, I’m so sorry!” you said, rushing to grab napkins. “I am so, so sorry!”
“It’s fine,” the man assured you, taking the napkins you offered him. “I probably would have spilled coffee on myself at work today anyway.”
“Still, I’m so sorry. I-I have uh, an interview today and I’m seeing my dad for the first time in a while so I’m pretty nervous, and when I get nervous, I get super clumsy.” You awkwardly held your hand out to him. “I’m (Y/N).”
“Spencer,” he said. “Sorry, I have a, uh, germ thing.”
“Let me buy you your coffee,” you offered. “It’s the least I can do after spilling mine all over you.”
~
Spencer ran through the bullpen up to the conference room. He threw his satchel down on the floor next to his chair before flopping into it.
“You’re late,” Hotch said, not looking up from the paper in front of him.
“I know,” Spencer said, breathlessly. “I know, I’m sorry.”
“Well, now that you’re here, we can get started.”
The team, of course, noticed the change in Spencer’s behavior. Morgan decided to be the one to ask about it.
“Okay, what’s her name?” he asked, rolling his chair over to Reid’s desk.
“What are you talking about?”
“You haven’t stopped smiling all day. Even after Hotch stuck you with more paperwork and told us we’d have to stay late tonight. So, who is she?”
Spencer smiled down at his desk. “I met her at the coffee shop this morning. Her name’s-”
“(Y/N)!”
Spencer looked up to see you running towards Gideon.
“Dad!”
Spencer’s jaw dropped when he saw Gideon wrap you in a hug. “How are you, Pumpkin? How was the interview?”
“Uh, I’m not sure. You know how I get when I’m nervous. And I kept thinking about how I haven’t seen you in years and-”
“(Y/N/N), take a breath. You’re rambling.”
“Right. Right.” You exaggerated your exhale. “I’m good.”
“Come on, let’s go to my office. You can tell me about your interview.”
When you followed Gideon up the stairs, Morgan turned back to Spencer.
“That’s her?” Spencer nodded, still in shock. “Oh, Pretty Boy,” Morgan laughed, “what did you get yourself into?”
Spencer was asking himself that same question.
~
“So, tell me about the job interview. Was it really as bad as you thought?”
“I don’t know,” you sighed. “I got all nervous and jumpy, my hands were all sweaty. You know how I get when I’m nervous. I walked into a scarecrow decoration they had in the hallway.” Your father pursed his lips, obviously trying to hold back a laugh. You sighed. “Go ahead.”
“What? No, I’m not laughing!”
“Dad, I love you, but you’re a terrible liar.”
“Come on,” he said, getting up from his desk, still chuckling. “I’ll introduce you to the team.”
You followed your father out of his office. The team was gathered in the bullpen.
“Guys, this is my daughter, (Y/N) Gideon.”
“It’s nice to see you again, (Y/N),” Aaron Hotchner said, shaking your hand.
“You too, Aaron.”
“This is Agent Jareau,” Gideon said, gesturing to JJ. “And Agent Morgan.”
“It’s nice to meet you,” the man said, shaking your hand.
“This is Agent Greenaway,” Gideon said, introducing you to the rest of the team. “Dr. Reid, and Penelope Garcia, our technical analyst.”
“So, what was it like growing up as Gideon’s daughter?” Penelope asked you.
“Oh, you know, it was like any other girl growing up with an overprotective father,” you said. “I was in self-defense classes since I was 3, I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere alone until I was 17, my older brother hogged the bathroom in the morning, and when I started dating, I couldn’t go out with a guy until Dad profiled him.”
“Ooh, that’s rough,” Agent Greenaway said. “How did you deal with that?”
You shrugged. “I was a teenager, and Dad was almost always away for work.” Your dad looked at you. “I mean, I was a perfect angel who never did anything wrong.”
“Yeah, nice try, kiddo,” Gideon said. “We’re gonna talk about that at dinner. Speaking of which, ready to go?”
“Sure, I haven’t eaten all day.”
After you and Gideon left, Morgan turned to Reid.
“So, Gideon’s daughter.”
“Shut up, Morgan,” Spencer muttered, his face red.
~
When Jason came back from his last case, he noticed that you weren’t there. You’d been staying with him until you heard more about the job. Jason thought for a moment before smiling to himself and heading back out.
“Thought I might find you here,” Jason said, sitting next to you on the grass.
You were sitting in front of a gravestone, a vase of fresh flowers on the grass. You brushed your hand over the lettering on the marker. ”I got the job.”
“Well, that’s great!”
“I guess,” you shrugged. “Is it- is it weird that I feel guilty if I don’t visit when I’m in the area?” You smiled, tracing your finger over the name. “I feel like, if I don’t visit, Mom’s yelling at me from beyond.”
Jason smiled. “It’s not weird at all. Especially since you were so young when we lost her.”
You sighed, letting your hand fall back to your side. “Do you think she’s proud of me?”
Jason was shocked by your question. “Of course she is,” he told you. “She’d be so proud of you, pumpkin.”
“Even though I broke my promise to her?” you whispered. “I promised I’d find a cure so no one would have to suffer like she did.”
“(Y/N),” your father sighed, “you were barely 15 when she died. She never expected you to keep that promise.” He nudged your shoulder. “Besides, she’d love that you’re dedicating your life to teaching kids.”
“You think so?”
“I know so. I’m your dad, I know everything.”
You laughed, leaning your head on his shoulder.
~
You settled into the DC area well. You’d become best friends with Penelope Garcia, and you grew closer to the rest of your dad’s team. Even though you weren’t part of the BAU, you were family.
You grew even closer to Spencer, too. Penelope, despite not being a profiler, could tell there was something up. She noticed the glances you’d give him when he wasn’t looking, and vice-versa.
“So, what’s going on with you and Reid?” she asked you over your Saturday morning coffees.
“What are you talking about, Pen?”
“Oh, come on! I see the way you look at him.”
“Wha- the way I look at him?”
“Yeah, you look at him like you’re ready to have his babies.”
“ Penelope! ”
~
The team was in Florida, getting deathbed interviews from Sarah Jean and Jacob Dawes. Gideon was sent in to interview Sarah Jean.
“Do you have children, Agent Gideon?” she asked him.
“It’s irrelevant,” he told her.
“Is it?”
While Hotch interviewed Jacob, Gideon and Reid were looking over the interview with Sarah Jean, looking for anything that might grant her a stay of execution. After some discussion with the team, Gideon headed back in to talk to Sarah Jean.
“Does the strain of your work affect your marriage?” Sarah Jean asked him.
“I’m not married.”
“You wear a ring.”
Jason rubbed the wedding band he still wore with his thumb. “Why would you still be protecting Jacob?” he decided to ask.
“Did you divorce because of putting people like me away?”
“I think you’re innocent,” Jason told her.
“We’re all guilty of something. But it’s… our children who suffer for our sins, isn’t it?”
“You’d have to ask them.”
“How old are they?” she asked.
“27 and 24,” Jason said with a smile.
Sarah Jean smiled. “Do you have pictures of them?” she asked.
“In my office. One of my son, one of my daughter.”
“You don’t carry them with you?”
“No.”
“To protect them. Tell me, Agent Gideon, does this job make you worry about your daughter?”
He nodded. “Every day.”
“Is there anything you wouldn’t do for your children, Agent Gideon?”
He shook his head. “Absolutely nothing.”
~
Spencer was pouring sugar into his coffee when he heard you and Garcia laughing. He turned to see the two of you talking in the doorway.
“Oh, before I forget to ask,” you said, “can you come in on Wednesday as a guest reader?”
“I’d love to!” Penelope said. “I’d love to read to those little angels!”
You smiled and adjusted the bag on your shoulder. “Great! I’ll see you tomorrow morning for coffee?”
“Of course.”
You waved towards Gideon’s office before ducking out of the BAU.
Elle came up to the coffee maker and poured herself a mug. “Why don’t you just ask her out?”
“I can’t do that,” he said, sipping his overly-sweetened coffee.
“Why not? It’s obvious you like her.”
“She’s Gideon’s daughter , Elle. I can’t ask her out.”
“Oh, I get it,” she said, stirring milk into her coffee. “You’re afraid Gideon wouldn’t approve of you dating his little girl.” She tossed the coffee stir into the trash and took a sip of her coffee. “If it’s any consolation, I think if he were to approve of anyone for (Y/N), it would be you.”
“You think?”
“The man loves you, Reid,” she told him. “Plus, you’re just as awkward and dorky as she is, you’re a good match.”
~
Spencer sat at his desk, with only his lamp to light the bullpen. A tabloid magazine sat on top of his case file.
“Hey Reid, you’re lucky they didn’t get a shot of you next to the pool trying to draw your gun. You looked like a drowned rat,” Morgan laughed.
Spencer chewed his lip for a moment. “Did you know that, um, she, uh- I kissed her? In the pool? It’s so weird. It doesn’t even feel like it really happened, you know?”
“Sure. She’s a beautiful young actress.”
“Yeah, but…” he paused, looking at the cover of the magazine, “it didn’t feel right. I felt guilty, almost. I felt like I was crossing professional boundaries.”
“Look, some things you can’t control, even with that big ol’ brain of yours,” Morgan told him with a smile.
Spencer was silent while Morgan put on his jacket. “Hey Morgan? Has there ever been a girl you just… couldn’t get out of your mind, no matter how hard you try? Even when another girl is kissing you?”
“I can’t say I have,” Morgan said. “But if this girl is so heavy on your mind, you should see where it goes.”
“So, you think I should call her?”
“I don’t know, Reid. But I do know you don’t have to decide tonight. I’ll see you Monday, okay, kid?”
“Yeah. Have a good weekend, Morgan.” He sat at his desk, looking at the tabloid. He sighed and threw the magazine in his trash can.
~
Of course, you’d seen the tabloids. You were out grocery shopping when you saw the pictures. You picked up the magazine and scoffed.
“It’s crazy how they invade celebrities’ lives, isn’t it?” the old woman in line behind you said. “That poor boy was probably just at the wrong place at the wrong time.”
“Yeah,” you said, putting the tabloid back on the rack. “It’s crazy.”
The next day at work, one of your coworkers came up to you while you were cleaning paint off the tables.
“So, should we talk about how your boyfriend is supposedly dating a tv star?”
Your face heated up. “He’s not my boyfriend, Hannah. He’s my dad’s coworker.” You heard one of the kids start crying. “Oh, Joshie’s crying again. Maybe you should go find out what happened.”
When the last kid was finally picked up by his grandmother, you were exhausted. But you still had to clean up the classroom. You sighed and started picking up the pretend food and sorting it into the proper baskets.
“Night, (Y/N),” your coworker said.
“Night, Ronnie. See you tomorrow.” You hung the costumes back on the hangers and put them back on the rack when someone knocked on the door. When you looked up, you saw Spencer standing in the doorway, his hands fidgeting.
“Oh, hey, it’s Lila Archer’s secret boyfriend!” you said, pushing up from the floor.
“Please tell me you didn’t buy into those pictures.”
“Well, you know what they say, a picture is worth a thousand words.”
He walked over to where you were gathering stuffed animals and helped you collect them. “It wasn’t what they made it look like,” he said. “She was attracted to me, but it was just transference.” He rubbed the back of his hand, his eyes looking down at the roadmap carpet. “And she isn’t the girl I like.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Lila didn’t make my heart rate speed up just by smiling at me like she does.” Spencer’s eyes were shining as he talked.
“What else do you like about this girl?” you asked him.
“She’s smart, she’s caring, she listens to me when I ramble on about random facts.” He smiled and looked at you. “She’s one of the only people in the world that calls me Spence. And she’s super clumsy when she gets nervous.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “You’re the one I want to be with (Y/N). You’re the one I can’t stop thinking about.”
“Damn, girl, if you don’t take him, I will!” Hannah said from the doorway, making you both blush.
“Go home, Hannah,” you said.
“Okay, okay, I’m just saying.”
Spencer chuckled, looking down at his Converse.
“You know, I like you too, Spence.”
Spencer’s face lit up. He grabbed the sides of your face and kissed you. When he pulled away, his face was red.
“I-I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was thin-”
“Spencer, shut up,” you said, grabbing his tie and pulling him in to kiss you again.
~
“Guys, conference room. Now,” Hotch said, walking through the bullpen.
Morgan pushed up from his desk, walking up the stairs next to Garcia. “Is it just me, or has Reid been weird around Gideon today?”
“Oh, no, he is,” she said. “He and (Y/N) kissed last night.”
“Wait, so Reid and (Y/N) kissed?”
“Yep.”
“And Gideon doesn’t know?”
“Nope.”
“So everything he’s saying is making Reid uncomfortable?”
“Yep.”
“Should we exploit this?”
“Definitely.”
After everyone settled into the room, JJ started her presentation of the case, with the help of Gideon and Hotch.
“Uh, Gideon,” Morgan said, “When the plane kisses down on the air strip, do you want me to go to the scene with you?”
Spencer’s eyes widened as Gideon looked over Morgan. “Uh, weird way to ask that, but yeah. You, me, and Reid will visit the scene.”
“Do you think we can make out any information from the victims?” Garcia asked.
“Guys, what’s going on?” Hotch asked.
“Nothing!” Spencer said. “Can we just get to the jet?”
Hotch eyed Spencer suspiciously before saying, “Wheels up in 30.”
~
You’d heard about Elle, of course. You’d heard about her injury, investigation, and resignation. Spencer was shaken up about her leaving.
The team was bunkered down at the office when you stopped in with some coffees.
“Excuse me,” you said to the dark-haired woman standing by the printer, “is Agent Gideon in?”
“Yeah, were you meeting with him for this case?”
You laughed. “No. No, I’m his daughter. I’m (Y/N).” You shifted the coffee in your hands to shake hers.
“Emily Prentiss.”
“Oh, you’re the new agent. Dad mentioned there was a new transfer.”
“Well, he should be up in his office,” Agent Prentiss told you.
“Thank you, Agent Prentiss.”
“Please, call me Emily.”
You smiled before climbing the steps to your father’s office. You knocked on the door, waiting for him to answer.
“Come in.” You pushed the door open to find your dad at his desk, his glasses perched on his nose as he filled out paperwork.
“I brought you a coffee,” you said, setting the cup on his desk.
“Thank you,” he said, pulling the hot cup closer to him.
“And I made you some meals for when I go away.”
“(Y/N), you didn’t have to-”
“Dad, you know what the doctor said. Your blood pressure is way too high, and I know you won’t stop this job. The least you can do is stop eating so much takeout.”
“(Y/N)-”
“Dad, I’m serious. I don’t want you dying before you have the chance to walk me down the aisle. At least eat them when you’re home?”
He sighed. “Okay. Alright. What time does your flight leave again?”
“Five in the morning,” you said.
“You’ll call me when you land?”
“Of course, Dad,” you promised.
“Good. Tell Miranda I say congratulations.”
“I will,” you said. “I’m gonna go deliver these coffees to Penelope and Spencer.” You walked out of his office, closing the door behind you. You walked into the BatCave, setting the mocha frappuccino on her desk. “Last coffee before I go to Maine,” you said, sitting in Penelope’s spare chair.
“You better show me those wedding pictures, you know I love weddings,” she said, sipping her coffee. “Are you gonna talk to Reid before you go?”
“Sure, I have to give him his coffee.”
“No, (Y/N), are you going to talk to him about the kiss? It’s been months and you two still haven’t talked about it.”
“Hey, it’s not my fault you guys are always on a case.”
“Garcia, conference room,” JJ said, poking her head into the office.
“Speaking of,” you sighed. “I’ll see you when I get back, Pen.”
Before you left the BAU, you left Spencer’s coffee on his desk, a sticky note with a smiley face on top of the lid.
~
“ Hey, Dad, it’s me, ” you said on your message to Jason, “ I got sent straight to voicemail so I’m guessing that means you’re on the jet. I’m just calling to let you know my flight got delayed. There’s a huge storm so the plane is grounded until it’s over. I’ll be home as soon as I can. Love you, bye. ”
“You okay?” Hotch asked when Gideon slipped his phone back into his pocket.
“Yeah. (Y/N) just left a message, apparently it’s storming so her flight is delayed.” He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Are we any closer to finding Reid?”
“No. But Garcia found a way for us to get a video to him . We can let him know we’re looking for him.”
~
Spencer was struggling. He could feel the little glass bottles in his pocket, and he was itching for them.
“Hey, Spence!” you said, your bubbly voice shocking him as you set a cup of coffee on his desk.
“What’s this?”
“Dad said the last couple of cases were hard on you guys, I thought you might want a pick-me-up.”
He pushed the coffee towards the back of his desk. “I’m fine.”
“Spencer, what’s going on? You never turn down free coffee from Winnifred’s. Are you feeling okay?”
“I’m fine, okay?” he snapped. “Just leave me alone.”
When he saw your face, he knew he fucked up. “Fine. When the Spencer I know gets back, let me know. Goodbye, Dr. Reid.” You walked out of the BAU, brushing passed Hotch and Morgan as they came from the break room.
“What was that about?” Morgan asked.
“Nothing,” Spencer said, pushing up from his desk and walking away from the two.
When you hadn’t visited the office for a few weeks, the team knew something was off. While Morgan talked to Reid, Gideon went to your apartment to talk to you.
“Hey, Dad,” you said when you opened the door. “What’s up?”
“I was gonna ask you the same thing,” he said. “You haven’t visited in weeks.”
“I’ve been busy,” you said, getting a bottle of water and offering it to your father. “Mack wants me to get my Masters, she said I’d be a good academic director.”
“That’s not the reason,” he said, taking a sip of the water. “What happened between you and Reid?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Come on, (Y/N), I’m your dad. I know you have feelings for each other.” Your face turned red and you looked down at your feet. “You’re a grown woman, (Y/N). You don’t need my permission to date anymore. But if you do want my opinion, I think you and Spencer would be a great match.”
“You think?”
“Yeah, I do. Now, what happened?”
You sighed, flopping onto your old, worn out couch. “You’d all been so busy lately, so I decided to bring him coffee from our favorite shop. But he was, he was acting different . And not a good different. When I tried asking him what was wrong, he got all defensive and he lashed out at me. So I told him that when the Spencer I know gets back, he could let me know.”
“Well, I’m not sure that’s going to happen,” Jason said.
“What do you mean?”
Your father sighed, setting the bottle on the old trunk you used as a coffee table. “On one of our cases, he got kidnapped.”
“Oh, my god,” you said, covering your mouth with your hand. “Oh, Spence. No wonder he was different.”
“He needs you to be there for him, even if he doesn’t think he does.” Jason’s phone started ringing. He sighed when he saw the caller ID. “I gotta go. Oh, but before I forget,” he pulled a disk out of his jacket and handed it to you, “happy birthday.”
“What’s this?”
“I don’t know how long this case is gonna be, I might not be home in time for your birthday. Just watch the DVD.” He kissed your forehead before heading out the door.
~
You were curled up on your couch, wrapped in blankets as you rewatched the DVD again. It was all the home movies your family ever filmed from your childhood. You were tearing up as you watched your mom push you on the swings.
“Higher! Higher, Mommy, higher!”
“Hold on tight!”
There was a knock at your door. You paused the video and untangled yourself from your nest of blankets. You peered through the peephole and saw Spencer standing outside, his hands behind his back. You undid the deadbolt and opened the door.
“Spencer-”
“(Y/N), I’m sorry.” He brought his hands back around, showing you a bouquet of flowers- all your favorites. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that, I was out of line. I-I wasn’t in my right mind and-”
“Spencer, breathe.” You motioned for him to come in. He handed you the flowers. “Dad told me what happened in Atlanta.”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “He didn’t tell you everything.”
“What do you mean?” You set the flowers on your kitchen counter and sat next to Spencer on your couch.
“Promise me you won’t blow up and get angry.”
“Spence, what’s going on?”
He took a deep breath. “When I was kidnapped, the unsub injected me with dilaudid. It was meant to keep me passive and subdued.”
“And now you’re addicted, aren’t you?” you realized. “Oh, Spencer.”
“I’m getting help,” he assured you. “Gideon kind of, uh, talked a little sense into me.” His hands were fidgeting. “I, I didn’t want to tell you because I thought you might, I don’t know. I thought you might not like me anymore.”
You took his hand in yours. “Spencer, I knew I liked you when I spilled my coffee on you and you didn’t freak out on me. Then I got to know you, and your kind, gentle heart. I don’t think I could ever stop liking you.”
Spencer’s smile came back. His real smile. He turned his head to the tv. “Is that your mom?”
“Yeah,” you said, a sad smile on your face as you hit play.
“You don’t talk about her much.”
“She died when I was in high school,” you said. “After she died, my uncle took over recording family videos when Dad was off on cases.”
“You look just like her,” Spencer told you. “Wait, what’s this one?” he asked.
The camera was pointed at a stage, lights coming up on apartment buildings.
“Oh, this is from when I did Little Shop of Horrors !” you said. “I played Audrey.”
“Wow, really?” He cleared his throat. “I-I don’t mean I think you can’t do it, I just meant I can’t see you letting a man treat you like that.”
You shrugged. “Acting, Spence.”
He laughed and you leaned against him. His face turned pink, but he wrapped his arm around your shoulders. He kissed the top of your head.
~
Your dad left the bureau, for good. He dropped off the map, not even telling you where he was going. Spencer was beyond upset. When he found the letter, he showed up at your apartment, tear tracks down his cheeks.
“Spence, what happened?” You took his hand and gently pulled him inside. “Spencer?” He handed you the letter as the two of you sat on the couch. “Oh, Spencer.”
“He left. He left us. Without even saying goodbye.”
“I’m sorry, Spence.” You wrapped your arms around him and he rested his head on your shoulder. “I know how you’re feeling. I can’t tell you the number of times I expected Dad to be at something, and he wasn’t there. It got to the point where I was surprised if he did show up.”
“How did you deal with that?” Spencer asked you.
You shrugged. “I guess, I just… focused on who was there for me.”
~
Spencer woke up the next morning to his phone blaring. He was disoriented, and didn’t quite recognize his surroundings. Until he looked to his left and saw you laying next to him.
You sat up and rubbed your eyes. “Is that the team?” you asked, your voice still rough from sleep.
“Yeah,” Spencer sighed.
“Go. They need you.”
“But-”
“Spence.” You cupped his face in your hands. “I’ll be here when you get back. I promise.” You kissed him and pressed your forehead to his. “Go save the world, my genius.”
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2manyfandoms2count · 3 years
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I love you (not) - Chapter 15
It's already September and I can't believe this fic isn't finished yet, I swear May was like. Last week.
Anyway, this chapter is full of soft touches because yes, hope you enjoy!
First | Previous | AO3
---
Chapter 15: In which the real pining begins
“Hey Chat, it’s LB, I might be a little late for tonight’s patrol, I’ve been running all day and I still have a couple of things I need to take care of… Could you maybe get some pastries? I’m starving, you’ll forever be my absolute hero (and of course I’ll pay you back, I just can’t swing by a bakery right now). See you in a bit!”
Chat Noir paused as he finished listening to Ladybug’s message, slowly wrapping his head around the fact that she probably wouldn’t be the only one arriving late, despite his best efforts at being early. He looked at her profile picture pensively. His partner had absolutely no idea, but even she was trying to get him to do the right thing, namely: sending him to Marinette.
Well, to a bakery, but he knew very well that he wouldn’t find it in him to bring anything less than the best pastries in Paris to his Lady, especially if it meant getting a grip and owning up to his actions.
Because yes, he was ashamed of admitting it even to himself, but he’d been a coward ever since the fight against Hostzilla. He’d avoided Marinette for almost two weeks (as Chat Noir, obviously, although the past few days had seen his guilt increase so much that he’d struggled to even hold her gaze at school), partly because of last minute additions to his schedule, but mostly because he’d gotten cold feet anytime he’d come remotely close to her building.
It was time this stopped and that he bit the bullet. It wasn’t like Marinette could easily make the first step; even staying up to scrutinise the skyline would have been fruitless: he’d made some convoluted detours on his way home from patrol to avoid a rerun of the fateful night that had brought them into their fake - no, not fake, complicated  relationship.
He’d had enough time to mull it all over, and it was clearly time to do something about the situation.
This tiptoeing around the issue ended tonight.
---
The bells jingled quietly as he pushed the bakery door. The warm backlighting and the sweet smell of rising dough welcomed him and made him relax a little, as did the sight of Marinette tiredly stretching behind the counter. He smiled softly. There really was something about this place that made him feel at ease, safe, even.
Marinette straightened up at the sight of Chat Noir awkwardly shuffling near the entrance of the shop, leaning forwards to take a look at one of the displays, and bit back a smug smile at the thought that her plan to lure him in had worked perfectly. His stomach grumbled and she stifled a giggle. The sound was enough to draw his attention; their gazes met, and both felt their cheeks pinken.
“Hey, Chat,” Marinette said almost breathlessly after what seemed like a thousand years of just staring into each other's eyes. “Long time no see.”
“Yeah, sorry about that.” Even though her tone had been void of any accusation, he scratched the back of his head sheepishly, making her melt slightly. “I’ve been pretty busy lately.” It wasn’t a complete lie, but he still felt bad about leaving her hanging for so long.
“It’s alright, being a superhero is a full time job, after all." She cleared her throat. "How can I help you today?” She winced imperceptibly at her cowardice. They were the only ones in the bakery, it was stupid to ignore the elephant in the room. Still, she grabbed a paper bag and a pair of tongs, and looked at him expectantly.
“Oh, erm, I need pastries. I’m on snack duty for patrol.” He chuckled nervously.
“Ah, well, I can't let our beloved heroes starve, can I? I wouldn’t want the responsibility of another Feast on my hands.” She winked.
"Don't remind me.” Chat shuddered at the memory of the sentimonster’s gooey tongue.
“Is there anything I can get you in particular?” She stifled a giggle at the same image.
“Well, you know me, I can’t leave those chouquettes on your hands, it would be a waste.” He eyed the relevant basket hungrily.
“Are you sure you want all of them? This is... 500g, the equivalent of six portions.”
“And?” He cocked an eyebrow.
“Right, nevermind.” She shook her head, an amused smile spreading to her lips. “Anything else?”
“Hmm, could I have a collection of macarons for Ladybug? Anything but passion fruit, she always gives those to me so I’m not sure she likes them, and since I already have the chouquettes... I think I'm covered.”
Marinette rolled her eyes as she picked the sweet delicacies for herself. Leave it to Chat to believe that her leaving his favourite macarons aside was because she didn’t like them.
“Will that be all?” She cocked her head to the side when she was done packing the box.
“To ring up, yes.” He paused. “But I was actually wondering if you purr-haps had time for a quick chat?”
“With you? Always,” Marinette flashed him a relieved smile as she handed him the pastries and signalled for him to follow her towards the back. She saw he was about to protest, so she added: “If you’re thinking about paying for this, I’m pretty sure my parents would cut me off if they found out I’d sold anything to you or Ladybug, so I'm not risking it. And don’t worry, it’s been a slow night so I don’t have to stay at the counter - we’ll hear if anyone comes in. You said that this was going to be quick, right?”
“I did.” Chat scratched the back of his head nervously as they sat down on the bottom steps of the building’s staircase.
There was a pause as the both of them tried to organise their thoughts and put them into words that would lead to a definite, yet delicate rejection. Marinette smoothed the fabric of her apron as she did, while Chat fiddled with the pastry bag.
“So, the other night, huh?” He awkwardly cleared his throat, wincing at his sudden lack of eloquence. He decided to go for the half-lie route rather than delve straight into their kiss. If he was already this tongue-tied while keeping his thoughts about it at bay, who knew what mentioning it would do. “I couldn’t find you at the hotel after the fight… Were you hit by the akuma?”
Marinette’s head shot up and she squinted at him, calculating her next move. Chat’s hypothesis provided good foundations to build on. Maybe he’d even get to the conclusion she wanted him to reach on his own.
“You can tell me, I promise I won’t be mad.” He smiled softly.
“Fine,” she sighed dramatically. “I overheard Hostzilla say she was looking for me just after you left, and I thought I could placate her a little so I went out in the open. She didn’t even see me, I got knocked out by a fancy table almost just as I came out of the hotel.” She rolled her eyes, hoping her lie was believable enough.
“Meowch.” Chat winced, before gently cupping her chin and tilting it to either side, trying to assess any remaining damage.
“I’m fine though, don’t worry! Ladybug’s cure got me right back on my feet.” She nervously tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, then reluctantly pushed Chat’s hand away.
“I knew it wasn’t like you not to show up at some point during the fight.” He smiled triumphantly to himself at the thought that his vigilance during the battle hadn’t been completely uncalled for. He frowned and cleared his throat before continuing. “But it’s actually something I wanted to talk to you about. I’m not entirely sure why you were targeted this time, but I’m just afraid that if we…” He trailed off, suddenly unsure of what to say next. They’d never actually elucidated their relationship status; if they went forward, would they be continuing to date, or just starting? Would Marinette be offended if he used the latter?
“If we… continue on our set course?” Marinette offered.
“Yes, exactly, thank you.” He flashed her a quick smile. “I’m afraid that if we continue on our set course, there might be more opportunities for you to get caught up in fights, especially if word about our relationship gets out. I don’t want to put you in harm’s way, Marinette, I couldn’t bear you getting hurt because of me.”
Marinette was struck by the apparent anguish in her partner’s eyes as he looked at her. She instinctively reached for his hand.
“And I don’t want you to have to worry about me. I… I got my hands on footage of that battle, and I saw how distracted you were. You already have so much on your mind… I wouldn’t want to be a burden and put your safety in peril.”
“You could never be a burden, princess.” He absentmindedly ran his thumb across the back of her hand, but smiled sadly. “But I suppose you’ve reached the same conclusion I did.”
“Taking this relationship further would be a mistake.” She nodded gently.
“I’m sorry, Marinette.”
“Whatever for?” She took a deep breath and smiled bravely. “It’s not your fault. Just… Bad timing, I guess. If a hero-civilian relationship was ever supposed to work.”
“You're probably right.”
Marinette sighed and looked at her watch. “Anyway, you should probably go, Ladybug will wonder what happened to you.”
They both stood up, and walked slowly towards the bakery door. Marinette opened the door for him, but he paused and turned around before he’d crossed the threshold.
“For the record, I really enjoyed being your boyfriend while it lasted.” He felt his heart rate pick up as the words tumbled out of his mouth.
“It was really nice.” She smiled gently. Then, feeling a burst of braveness, she took a couple of steps forwards to stand face to face with him.
She stood on her tiptoes before she could process exactly what she was doing and lose her nerve, tenderly kissed his cheek, and took a step back with a soft, if slightly sad, smile. Chat gasped slightly, his hand flying to his cheek. The point of impact of his… friend ’s lips felt like the epicentre of a wave of warmth, just like it had the last time she’d pulled something of the sort.
“Maybe we can make it work one day.” She looked down and blushed, rocking on the ball of her feet.
“Maybe one day,” he echoed.
He gave her one last, longing look before taking off into the night, afraid he might throw all caution to the wind if he stayed any longer.
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moon-light-jukebox · 4 years
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“All you have to do is ask.” Chapter 9 - [Reid x Reader]
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previous chapter // series index // next chapter 
Summary: Dr. Spencer Reid is one of the most brilliant men in the entire world...but even geniuses can be dumbasses. Once he realizes he’s made the biggest mistake of his life, the next step is getting Reader to forgive him. 
Pairing: Spencer Reid / (Female) Reader
Rating: Mature
Category: Angst. but then the fluff we all need. 
Content Warning: Talk of drug addiction, mentions of injuries, angst. 
Word Count: 9.4k for Chapter 9 
A/n: I’m sorry I didn’t get this out as quickly as I wanted; I know I broke your hearts in chapter 8. So, please let me and Dr. Reid put them back together. Thank you for sticking with me. 💖 Chapter 10 returns to the smut we all signed up for. 
-- Chapter 9 - “You know why.” -- 
Out of all the compliments I've received in my life, "you're such a strong person" is the one I have gotten the most often.
I was “so strong” for busting my ass through college with dreams of going to the FBI.
My friends told me I was “so strong” when I gave myself a few days to lay around and cry about my ex before I bottled it all up and moved forward.
Everyone said I was just “so strong” for joining the FBI and finishing in the top of my class at the academy.
And when I told everyone I was a profiler that hunted the most dangerous monsters on the planet? I was both “so strong, so brave.”
It’s a nice compliment to receive, but I have never really agreed with it. I’ve never really felt strong. I've always felt resilient. The two words have always felt very different to me. It took enormous amounts of strength to go to college, join the FBI, and then become a member of one of the most prestigious units; but eventually, that strength fades, or it just tires out. Resilience came when the strength was gone when the fight had left your body, but you couldn’t give in, you would endure this pain and any pain after it…because that’s just who you are.
It didn’t take strength to leave the hospital 3 days after Spencer Reid broke my heart. It didn’t take strength to go back to the same apartment where I could feel echoes of him in every room. It didn’t even take strength to not break down and cry.
I kept going because I had to. Because I was resilient.
--
“You sure you got everything you need, mama?” Morgan had been annoyingly thorough in his duties today; Garcia had assigned him to be the person who brought me home and got me settled.
I offered him a wan smile. “I’m fine, Derek. It’s just a gunshot wound. I’m actually surprised how well I’m feeling.” Not good. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel ‘good’ again.
He didn’t look convinced. “Are you sure? Because the last thing I need is Garcia to throw one of her damn shoes at me again. Those things are heavy, y/n.”
I chuckled at him. “Well, you won’t get maimed on my account. I’m really okay.”
Morgan regarded me from his position by the door, his eyes ran over everything from the exhaustion on my face to my arm that was in a sling; he took note of everything before he sighed heavily. “I know it’s not my place to say but…”
“Then don’t say it, Derek.” I brought my gaze up to his, my eyes were pleading. “Please, just don’t say it.”
Reluctantly he nodded. “You call any of us if you need anything.”
I nodded. Because I would call any of them if I needed anything…any of them except the one person I really wished I could call.
--
My life went on like that for a time. On my first night home, Rossi had flowers delivered. On my second night home, JJ came by to bring me groceries. On my third night home Emily came by and helped me wash my hair in the sink because I couldn’t lift my arm yet. On my fourth night home Garcia came over with a stack of action movies and popcorn. I didn’t ask why she brought mindless action movies; I knew why, and I was grateful.
On my fifth day home, the team left on a case. The in-person visits slowed down a lot after that, much to my relief. I loved them all but they're profilers and I was so tired of pretending to be strong when the only reason I was still standing was because I was too fucking stubborn to fall down.
But still, Garcia would schedule the odd visitor every now and then to come to check on me; usually either her, JJ, or Emily. No one ever brought up Reid, and I was very careful not to ask about him. I don't know what they knew and what they didn't…but I just couldn’t talk about it.
I was cleared to go back to work on the second Tuesday after my injury, but I would still be on desk duty until I was 4 weeks out. I had sent Hotch an e-mail on that second Tuesday morning and requested to use some personal time, just until the end of the following week. His response was, “Whatever you need.”
He didn't respond to the e-mail I sent yesterday. The e-mail I wasn't even sure I wanted to send but knew I had to. I had submitted a hardship transfer request.
“Then maybe you should reevaluate your place in this team,” Reid had said to me. Maybe he was right. I had thought my home was with the family inside the BAU…but I had also thought Spencer Reid wanted my heart.
“But I think your judgment has been compromised.” Maybe my judgment was never that good to begin with.
--
Twenty-four days after I was shot and two after I requested my transfer there was a knock on my door. Scheduled visits weren’t a thing anymore. Only Garcia had been coming by; Emily and JJ would send me texts, and Morgan drove me to physical therapy a few times but that was it. So, I was very surprised when I heard a sharp knock at my door at 2 pm that Friday afternoon.
I opened the door only to find the last face I expected to see.
“Hotch,” I said, my brows drawing together.
He just gave me a rare smile. “Not who you were expecting?”
“It’s not that you’re not who I was expecting,” I began carefully. “It’s just that…when I think of cheerful visitors coming to surround me with rainbows and sunshine…I don’t think of you, boss man.”
He scoffed, which I had learned was his version of a chuckle. “Garcia is busy. So, can I come in?”
I waved my arm, offering him inside.
He surveyed my apartment; he’d never been here. None of the team had ever been here before- Stop. Don’t think about it.
“How have you been?”
I gave him a very sour look. “Peachy with a side of keen, Hotch. But that’s not why you’re here.”
He didn’t look abashed in the slightest. “You’re right. That’s not why I’m here.”
We both sat on my couch; I kept my gaze on my hands, but I felt his eyes on me.
“Why are you requesting a hardship transfer?”
I was prepared for this question. “Because there is a personal issue within my team that affects me; I can no longer be an effective agent of the FBI in this unit.”
Hotch gave me an almost smile. “That’s a very political answer.”
“It’s the truth.”
“It might be.” He sounded so thoughtful I turned to look at him. We were both profilers, but Hotch was in charge for a reason; that man saw things in ways I don’t think any of us did. “The reason might also be that Reid is a dumb ass.”
I was in no way prepared for that statement to come out of my boss’s mouth. A laugh, the first real laugh I had had in almost 25 days, burst out of me before I could clap my hand over my mouth.
He did smile then. It was a soft, sad smile. “I figured that’s what it was.”
“He’s a genius, Hotch.”
“And he’s also proof geniuses can be dumbasses.”
That one got a small chuckle out of me. “I didn’t know you were funny.”
“I have my moments,” he said dryly.
I took a deep breath, my eyes moving around my apartment, searching for something to focus on. “I don’t know what you know, I don’t know what any of you know…but I can’t stay. Not like this.”
The older man considered me for a moment, planning out his next words. I knew that the team knew that Reid and I had been…something. I hadn’t asked what they knew; I couldn’t ask.
Hotch let out a long sigh, his shoulders dropping before he spoke again. "Hayley had an affair."  
…I have no idea how I’m supposed to respond to that. “I’m sorry, Hotch.”
He just nodded, his gaze sort of far off. “The team was working a case in Milwaukee; it was right before you joined. I was considering transferring; it was right before Gideon left. I knew it, she knew I knew it. I think that was sort of the beginning of the end for us.”
I just stared at him. Hotch didn’t talk about personal things.
He continued on. “It was never really brought up again until the divorce. You think divorce will end your fights…it never works out that way.” Hotch let out another sigh. “Anyway, I think about this one specific fight a lot now. I just…She was so fucking cruel, y/l/n. She said things she knew would hurt me.”
You can’t call a dead woman a cunt, y/n. You just can’t.
“I think about it so much now because I know she lashed out because I hurt her and she was scared. I picked my job over her and Jack. And she’s right…I did.”
Enlightenment finally dawned on me.
“Hotch, I see where you’re going but it’s different,” I stressed. “Protecting the team is my job. I protected a member of my team.”
He just nodded, his eyes never leaving my face. “You also jumped in front of a bullet for a man who is in love with you, who now thinks it’s his fault you got hurt.”
“He is not in love with me!” I interrupted, not that Hotch seemed to care.
“And you also told him you loved him, for what I suspect was the first time, while we all thought you were dying.”
Hold the fuck up. “You heard me? Spencer heard me?!”
Hotch nodded his head solemnly. “Rossi figured he hadn’t told you. He was inconsolable on the way to the hospital. He rode with you in the ambulance. Morgan had to restrain him when you were taken into surgery.” I felt my lungs seize, there was no more air in the room. “His legs gave out from under him when the doctor told us you made it. He was in your room right before you woke up. He ran out when your heart rate spiked.”
That…that can’t be right. “I…I don’t know what happened while I was under, but you weren’t there. You didn’t hear what he said to me, Aaron.”
“You’re right,” he said softly. “I wasn’t, but I have been around him every day since you were injured. I’ve known him for years, y/n. He’s hurting…because he’s a dumbass.”
I tried to focus on Hotch’s words, I really did. But one thing kept playing over and over in my head. That asshole heard me. He lied to me.
--
-- Spencer POV –
“Because I love you.”
“Because I love you.”
“Because I love you.”
The worst thing about having an eidetic memory is that I never forgot anything. I remember the crushing disappointment I felt on my 8th birthday when my dad didn’t call. I remember how gutted I felt when I found Gideon’s letter in his cabin. I remember the self-loathing I felt when Emily was beaten by a deranged cult leader at Liberty Ranch because she didn’t think I could handle it.
I could remember every single crushing moment of my life with absolute clarity, including the moment when I told y/n I didn’t love her. I could see every detail of her face in that moment whenever I closed my eyes. How pain covered her face for just a moment before it went blank.  
Her face in that moment was all I saw when I was awake, but what I saw at night may have been worse. I saw her happy. I saw her laughing at some joke Morgan made. I saw her smiling at me while I explained the scientific impossibilities of the show we were watching on her couch. I saw how thoughtful she’d looked before she kissed me for the first time.
In the 24 days, 21 hours, and 16 minutes since I made the most painful decision of my life, I had regretted it and rethought it countless times. But then I remembered how her eyes fluttered closed that day, how her blood ran out of her body and down my arms, no matter how hard I pressed on the wound. I remembered how it felt to think I was going to lose her.
The members of my team were all furious with me for my decision; I even felt tension from Rossi and Hotch, though it was more subtle. Y/n hadn’t been with our team long, but she had already carved out a place in everyone’s heart…and she’d carved out all of my heart; now it was filled with almost nothing but her. At first, it was just Morgan who was pissed at me, then Emily started becoming frustrated, even JJ stopped inviting me over for dinner as much. They were all still my friends, but everything felt different.
I hadn't realized there was a giant problem until the last person I ever expected to be mad at me finally snapped. We were in the conference room discussing our last case when I had asked Garcia a question. Looking back, I can see it was a dumb question; Garcia cross-referenced everything and dug into people's lives before we even had a chance to ask. But even my stupid question hadn’t warranted her response.
“Garcia, do you know any of the victim’s extended families have any connections to one another? Even distantly.”
She had clicked her tongue against her teeth, her shoulders stiffening. “Of course I have, Reid. That’s a stupid question…but I guess we should expect stupid questions from you now. Since you’ve suddenly become an-“
“Garcia,” Hotch warned.
“Sorry, sir.” She let out a breath.
“Yes, Dr. Reid, I have checked and found no apparent connections.
She’d been avoiding me ever since.
I knew that I had made a mess of things, but the team just didn't understand. They'd only felt her warmth from afar; I'd actually got to be a part of it. They didn't know how her feet were always cold and how she'd shove them under my leg while we watched TV. They didn't know that she mumbled in her sleep sometimes, or when she was really stressed about a case, she'd grind her teeth. The pain I felt now was indescribable, but I couldn't live with losing her.
We’d gotten back home from a case earlier this morning, Hotch let us all go home around noon. Usually, he'd make us stay and finish our paperwork, but he said he had "something" he had to take care of.
Not being at work was bittersweet. Because work reminded me of her, but at least I could occupy my mind with other things; when I was home, she surrounded me. I couldn’t lay in my bed without imagining her beside me. The look on her face when she told me she was ready to be with me. For the first few days after I could still smell her shampoo on my pillow. That was long gone now.
It was just after 2 pm when there was a very loud knock on my door.
“Open up, dumbass!’
What is Morgan doing here? I got up from my couch to open my door. Morgan was in the same clothes he wore to work, he didn't look injured, but his jaw was set, his teeth clenched together. Uh oh.
“Why are you here?” I sighed. I already knew why he was here.
“I’m here,” he began, shoving his way into my apartment. “To see why you’re still being a dumbass.”
I didn’t bother correcting him. Maybe I am a dumbass.
“Morgan-“
“Nu-uh. You sit your little scrawny ass down and listen to me.”
I’m not that scrawny, I thought grumpily while I sat down.
He put his hands on his hips, coming to stand in front of me. “Reid, what are you doing man?”
“I don’t know,” I mumbled.
“Well, I’ll tell you what the fuck you’re doing, Pretty Boy. You know, we were all content to let you flounder along for a while longer. You’re smart, you’d figure it out. But that was before y/n submitted a request for a hardship transfer.”
My shoulders stiffened. I had told her to rethink her place on the team, but I didn’t mean leave it. “What? When?”
“I’m not sure when,” he replied. “Hotch is at her apartment now trying to talk her out of it.”
So that was his important business.
“Look, kid.” He came to sit beside me on the couch. “I know you’re scared. I know you almost lost her, and you couldn’t bear that. But you’re losing her now too, man!’
“It’s different, Morgan,” I protested.
“Yeah, it is different, because you don’t have to lose her! You didn’t see her when she came home from the hospital. She wasn’t even sad, Reid. She was numb. We all knew she had walls up before…but these new walls, man? They make the old ones look like nothing.”
I put my hands together, lacing my fingers tightly. “But-“
Morgan stood up. “No, Reid! No! No buts. I understand that you’re hurting, believe me. But did you ever stop to use that big ass brain of yours to think for a second that you’re hurting her too?!”
“I know I’m hurting her, Morgan,” I said hotly. “I know! But it’s better she’s hurt like this for a little while then die over me!”
“Oh, come on, kid! You can’t make that choice for her! That’s not how love works!” He let out a sigh. “You’re acting like a coward, Spencer. And that’s not the kind of man you are.”
It’s exactly the type of man I am. “Morgan, she’s…she’s everything to me. She’s the sun at the center of my universe. I can’t let her disappear.”  
“Okay, okay,” Morgan nodded, considering me. “Now, I’m not a genius but I do know some stuff after hanging around your ass for all these years. The universe would fall apart without the sun. But…what happens if the sun dims?”
“What?” My heart refused to work when I processed his words.
“You heard me. What happens to the universe when the sun dims? It’s still there, but it’s nowhere near as bright anymore. Because she may be the center of your universe but she’s still a part of a lot of other people’s…I don’t know, galaxy or some shit.” Morgan flicked his hand around to gesture at nothing, like this somehow proved his point.
“Spencer. I know you’re scared. I get it. But you’re making the choice for her. You lied to her, man. You got her to let you in and then you fucking shut her out when you get scared! Do you think she wasn’t scared to let you in in the first place? She’s never going to be totally free of danger, Reid. That’s part of what makes her who she is; she is always going to put herself at risk to help people, we all are! It’s why we’re on the same fucking team!”
The impact of Morgan’s words was a blow to the gut. What if I wasn’t keeping her safe? What if I was putting her through this…because I was afraid? Did I push her away from me for her? Or did I-
“Oh my god. I’m a dumbass.”
Morgan threw his hands in the air before slapping them against his hips.
“I fucked up.”
Morgan opened his eyes very wide and tilted his head down in a universally recognized expression of “you think, dumbass?”.
“What do I do?”
“You apologize, Reid! You go over to her house and you beg for forgiveness.”
My palms were starting to sweat. “What if she doesn’t forgive me?”
Morgan shrugged. “Then at least you tried, man.”
“Will you give me a ride?”
His face split into a wide smile. “There’s the genius! Let’s go!”
--
-- Reader’s POV --
It was just after 4 pm when there was another sharp knock on my door. I picked up the remote to pause the TV show I wasn’t watching; I had just needed some background noise. With a huff, I pulled myself off the couch and started shuffling towards the door. Hotch hadn’t been gone long, so I just figured maybe he’d come back to impart more wisdom on me.
It wasn’t Hotch. My heart stuttered when I saw that mop of curly brown hair out of my door’s peephole.
He knocked again, more hesitantly than before. “Y/n,” he called. “I know I don’t have any right to ask. But…I need to talk to you.”
My eyebrows drew together in confusion. What could you possibly have to say to me?
I cleared my throat. “Is something wrong?”
I saw his head snap up; his eyes fixed on the peephole on my door. “Yes. Everything is wrong.”  
Oh. “Are…are you alright?”
“No.” His answer was simple and firm. “I know I don’t deserve anything from you…but, please, y/n.”
Taking a deep breath, I cracked open my door. “What do you want, Reid?”
I only allowed a tiny sliver of my face to be seen through the door. “C-can I come in?”
“I…I don’t know,” I mumbled. You’re still everywhere. If I let you in now…how will you ever fade?
Reid just nodded. “I understand. I just…I owe you an apology. I owe you so many apologies.”
I swallowed; my throat suddenly coated in sandpaper. “Reid, I don’t…you don’t…”
His eyes never left mine; he was leaving the choice up to me. “I don’t have to come in. I’ll talk to you through your door. Or I can talk to you over the phone. I’ll send you letters if that is easier. Just…please say you’ll talk to me?”
Very, very slowly, I eased the door open. He was cautious when he walked in, his hands stuffed into his pants pockets. “You don’t have to-“
“Yes, I do,” he interrupted. “That day in my apartment… I asked you not to lie to me. And I’ve done nothing but lie to you for the past 24 days, 22 hours, and 30 minutes.” He shifted his weight from foot to foot.
“I already know you heard me, Reid.”
He just nodded. “That’s one of the things I lied about. But it’s not all. It’s not even close to all. I told you my feelings changed, and they didn’t. They haven’t. I still feel the exact same way that I always have. I’m so sorry I even let you think that I didn’t l-“
“Stop.” I wrapped my arms around my middle. “I-I can’t. You…you can’t say that.” I will break if you say that.
His hands came out of his pockets, his arms outstretched, palms facing me; like I was a wild animal he was trying not to startle. “I won’t, I won’t. I’m sorry. I won’t say it until you're ready to hear it if you're ever ready to hear it. But…you have to know why.”
My teeth dug into my bottom lip; my eyes averted from him. “Why what?”
“Why I…Y/n, I just…I thought that I was protecting you.”
My face fell into a frown. “Protecting me from what?”
He stuffed his hands back into his pockets. “From me.” I opened my mouth to say something, but he hurried on. “I know I contribute to the team in some ways, but I also know other people have to pick up my slack sometimes. I just…I know members of the team have gotten hurt protecting me before.” He swallowed, his eyes blinking rapidly. “I couldn’t let you get hurt trying to protect me too. I’m not worth it.���
I felt anger start to burn in my stomach. “You don’t get to make those sorts of choices for people, Reid.”
He nodded. “I know. I was wrong.” He squared his slim shoulders, pulling his hands out of his pockets to rest them at his sides. “I fucked up. I’ve made the biggest mistake I have ever made in my entire life. And I only know one way to fix mistakes this big.” He paused, his throat working when he swallowed. “In Narcotics Anonymous the hardest steps for a lot of people are steps 8 and 9. Step 8 is acknowledging that our actions have caused pain and we need to make amends. Step 9 is making those amends and making them in a way that won’t hurt anyone.”
Hands back in his pockets, he took a hesitant step towards me. “I promise, y/n, I will never hurt you again. This isn’t an excuse, but I was so…I was so scared. I thought that…I thought that your injury was my fault. And I thought if I distanced you from such a…a colossal fuck up like me that you’d be safer.”
My body started to shake, but I wouldn’t let any tears fall. I couldn’t. If the dam broke now, I don’t know that I’d be able to put it back in place.
“Y/n, I don’t deserve the opportunity to make amends to you. But…if you’ll let me, I’d like to try. You’re…you’re everything, y/n. Everything. I even lied before when I said you were sunshine and warmth. You’re so much more than that.”
I heard the tears in his voice, but I couldn’t look at him. I’d break if I looked at him.
“You’re the sun. You’re the center of my universe. And I thought I was keeping you safe, but…I didn’t give you the choice. I took your choice away from you when you’ve always given me a choice in everything.”
I moved my eyes upwards to look at the ceiling, crossing my arms over my chest, my hands rubbing over my upper arms. “I don’t-I don’t know what you want me to say, Reid.”
I heard his shoes on my floor; I felt the air shift in the room when he took a step closer to me. “Just…Just say you’ll…that you’ll at least wait before you push your transfer through. That you’ll let me try to fix this, even though I don’t deserve it.”
A humorless laugh left my throat. “I already told Hotch to hold my transfer request.”
His voice cracked when he spoke again. “You did? When?”
“He came by about an hour ago.” I finally, finally looked at him. I saw his glassy eyes, his wild hair, and the clear pain mixed with a spark of hope on his face. He wasn’t my boy, not anymore. But…goddamnit. “He said…He said you were being a dumbass.”
Reid laughed a bit at that. “That seems to be the general consensus.”
“He asked me to give it some time. To see if working with the team again would actually be a hardship. My first day back is Monday, and I’m cleared to go back on active duty Wednesday.”
He shifted, his hands coming up to push is hair out of his face. “So, you’ll be back on Monday?”
"That's the plan," I said softly. "But…Reid, I don't-I don't know if I can…"
“I’m not asking you to forgive me. I’m just asking you to let me try to make amends for this.”
I brought my hand up to rub my forehead. “What is your goal here, Reid? What do you want?”
His face was as open as I’d ever seen it, his eyes were wide, and his lips were parted. “I want to go back to the moment you started to wake up in the hospital. I want to hold your hand and tell you how much I” he cut himself off, which I was grateful for. “And I want to be the one that drove you home. I want to be the one that helped you wash your hair. I want to be the one that sat on your couch and watched movies with you.” He sighed, his eyes shifting to the side. “But I can’t have any of that. Morgan came by my apartment around the same time Hotch was here…he told me that I was hurting the thing I was trying so hard to protect. And he said you were building a wall around yourself.
Dr. Spencer Reid brought those brown eyes back over to meet mine. “I want you to let me try to knock down that wall again.”
My voice was soft, I could feel my chin trembling, my nails were digging into my arms. “But why?”
For the first time since he entered my apartment, he smiled. It was small but overwhelmingly warm. “You know why.”
I felt something pierce my heart; it was small and sharp, both painful and soothing at the same time. “Reid…I…I don’t know if I can…I don’t know…”
“You don’t have to know,” the man said simply. “You just have to be willing to let me try.”
“But they’re just words, Reid. They’re just words. How am I supposed to believe that you won’t do this again the next time I get injured? Because I can handle being injured…but you gutted me.” I bit down hard on the inside of my cheek, using the pain to help me focus. I couldn’t let the dam break.
“They’re not just words,” he whispered. “I’ll prove it, y/n. I promise.”
I took a very shaky breath, not making an attempt to hide my pain. “I gave you everything, every single part of me and you brushed me aside. You left me in agony when I needed you.”
My choked words lashed at him, but he just took it with a nod. “I know. I don’t deserve another chance. I have no right after what I’ve done. What I’m asking for isn’t fair…but I have to ask. Please?”
“Okay.”
“What?” His words were soft, but the smile that spread over his face was the brightest thing I had ever seen.
I huffed. “You heard me. Don’t push it.”
‘Okay.” He smiled at me again as he made his way around my body, heading for my door. I wrapped my arms tighter around myself like I could somehow physically hold myself together. I heard the lock turn and the door pull open; I heard his feet shuffle through the doorway…before he paused. “Thank you, y/n.” The door clicked shut softly, and I finally allowed myself to breathe.
I wasn’t strong, I really wasn’t. Because if I was strong, I wouldn’t have felt so fucking hopeful.
--
After my conversation with Hotch yesterday, and my surprise visit from Reid last night, I expected my Saturday to be fairly uneventful. Which is why I wasn’t expecting a knock on my door at 8 pm that night.
“Who the fuck is it now?” I muttered, sighing with exasperation.
I thought Hotch was the most unexpected person I would ever see at my door unannounced, but this one caught me more off guard for so. I opened the door to see the bright smiling face of a young man in a delivery uniform. “Y/n y/l/n?” He asked politely.
“…Yes?”
He handed me a plastic bag with styrofoam containers inside. “Here you go. The bill has already been taken care of. Have a good night, ma’am!”
He was already halfway down the hall before I realized what was happening. “Wait, I didn’t order anything,” I called.
"I know, ma'am," he turned, walking backward as he spoke. "The order was placed in the store. A man came by and ordered the food, left a note to put in the bag, and told me to leave before you had a chance to refuse it." He smiled sheepishly at me. "I'm sorry, he gave me a really good tip. Have a good night!"
Frowning, I shut my door and moved into my kitchen, setting the bag on the counter. Sure enough, there was a note on top of the container.
“I know it’s your favorite. S.R.”
The thing about Reid is he had the worst handwriting I had ever seen. Even if I hadn’t suspected this was from him and he hadn’t signed the note, the handwriting would have given it away.
I went into my living room and snatched my phone off the couch before I quickly fired off a text.
“Why did you have dinner delivered to my house?”
His response came a moment later. “You know why.”
--
On Sunday morning, I had one of my last physical therapy appointments. I hadn't sustained any permanent damage to my left shoulder from the bullet. The only real issue was the healing muscle and the artery that was nicked. Even though I was right-handed, it was important in my line of work that I did not lose any strength in my left arm. The physical therapist had made an exception to see me on the weekend since my first day back at work was tomorrow.
The thought of going back to work made me incredibly nervous. I wasn't sure how things would be different. Not only did I have to worry about my relationship with Reid, but I also had to worry about how it would affect the team. I knew they all cared about me…but Reid had been a part of their family much longer than I had. Hotch’s visit on Friday meant a lot to me; I don’t think I would have been able to come back to work without it.
Despite my nerves, after being home on my couch for almost a month, I was itching to get back to doing the work I loved. I had already passed my post-injury psychiatric evaluation, which was pointless anyway as the BAU wrote the questions, but now with this approval from the physical therapist, I would only be on desk duty for 2 days once I returned.
I was so caught up in thought when I got to my apartment that I almost missed the paper taped to the front of my door. It was an envelope that looked some sort of parchment. If the type of paper didn’t give away the sender, the messy way my name was written on the front certainly did.
Calm down, y/n, I thought, reaching up to pluck the note from the door. It’s just a piece of paper. I knew my fear was irrational but trusting him after everything that had happened was terrifying. Because despite my best instincts, I wanted to trust him.
Inside the envelope was a letter, it wasn’t written on standard paper; but, nothing about the man it was from was ever standard.
--
“Y/n,
Before my mother’s schizophrenia became as bad as it is now, she used to read to me all the time. She was a professor of 15th-century literature. My love of reading came from her. Her favorite author is Margery Kempe; and when I was thinking about what I wanted to say to you, one quote in particular from Kempe kept coming to mind.
‘Patience is more worthy than miracle-working’.
The fact that you’ve given me even the slightest chance to apologize to you is the closest thing to a miracle I’ve ever seen. It's not a gift I'm going to take lightly. I know this is so incredibly hard for you. I know tomorrow is going to be hard for you, but I don't want you to feel like you're being forced to do anything before you're ready. I want to make amends, or at least try to, but I don't want to cause you any more pain.
You were patient with me in the beginning of our relationship; you were so unbelievably kind and generous – I think those are the things that made me…feel how I do now. I just want you to know that I’m prepared to be patient too. I never expected you to forgive me, and on the off chance you did, I knew it wouldn’t come easily.
I’d wait for you forever, y/n.
I don’t want to go against your wishes, but I want you to know that I’m ready. I’m ready to tell you now and every moment after for the rest of my life. All you have to do is ask and I’ll never stop telling you what you mean to me.
- Spencer”
--
My hands shook as I refolded the letter, slipping it back inside the envelope. I was dialing his number before I was even fully aware of what I was doing.
“Hello?” His voice sounded slightly apprehensive, almost shy.
“I got your letter,” I said quietly.
“I-I…I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable.”
I let out a sigh. “No, Reid. You didn’t make me uncomfortable.”
“You’ve not called me Spencer since…”
“I’m not there yet.” I closed my eyes when I said it; even now…I didn’t want to hurt him. I’m just not there yet.
I heard him shift around on the other end of the line. “I know. You don’t have to be. I just…I just wanted to tell you how I feel.”
“And send me dinner,” I added dryly. He laughed softly before I asked what I really wanted to know. “Reid…how have you been?” I ran my hand over my forehead. “I mean…before I was…before I was shot I know you were struggling with-“
“Ah,” he mumbled when the realization hit him. “It wasn’t easy…it hasn’t been easy. I went to a lot of meetings after you were…And I spent a lot of time on JJ’s couch trying to convince her and myself that I was doing the right thing by pushing you away.”
I flexed the fingers of my left hand, my posture shifting while he spoke. “But you haven’t…I didn’t make…”
“Y/n,” he said, his voice was so fucking gentle that it almost shattered me. “I haven’t. And even if I did, it wouldn’t have been your fault. No bad choice I make is ever anyone’s fault but my own. My demons are my own.”
I sighed. “I know, Reid, but I don’t want to be…I don’t want to make them worse.”
“You couldn’t,” he said firmly. “Whenever I did think about calling a dealer, doing anything I could to not feel the pain in my heart…I-I kept seeing your face. You looked so understanding when I told you about dilaudid. You made me feel proud of myself for the first time in a long time.”
I had to put my palm over the end of my phone. I didn’t want him to hear how my breathing had become uneven.
“Y/n, I’ll do anything to have you look at me like that again.”
"I don't need to ask why do I?" I asked lightly, in an attempt to defuse the tension.
He laughed. “No, I don’t think you do.”
I found myself smiling, grateful he couldn’t see me. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Reid.”
--
When I arrived to work on Monday morning for my first official day back, I was apprehensive but hopeful. The world wasn’t perfect, but it wasn’t as dark as it has been.
Right when I entered the bullpen, I saw something on my desk that made me pause. There in the center of my desk was a large iced coffee from my favorite cafe, the one near my house. No matter how early I got up, I never seemed to have time to stop there before work most days. So, the fact that a cup was there in the first place was cause for notice but that wasn’t the strangest part; the ice wasn’t melted. There wasn’t any condensation on the plastic cup.
I know I’m not a genius, but that can’t happen. Right?
“There she is!”
I turned to see Rossi making his way towards me, his arm's outstretched. He wrapped me in a tight hug, pressing a kiss to my cheek.
“We’re happy to have you back, y/n.”
I smiled widely at him, meaning it when I said, “I’m happy to be back.” He gave my upper arm a squeeze before he started to walk away. “Hey, Rossi. Did you do this?” I asked, gesturing to the cup on my desk.
He just had a sly smile on his face. “I did not, kiddo.”
Of course, he didn't. After taking a deep breath, I turned to the desk across from mine. Reid was already sitting there scribbling away, doing a very good job of pretending he didn’t know I was already here. I marched over to him before I lost my nerve. “The ice wasn’t melted.”
He looked up at me, not the slightest bit surprised at my presence, a soft smile on his face. “Beg your pardon?”
“The ice. In my iced coffee. It wasn’t melted.” I waved my hand around in the air. I’m not crazy, am I? That couldn’t have just happened.
“That’s because I asked them not to put any ice in when they made it,” he said simply. “You don’t like it as much when it’s watered down after the ice melts some; so I just added the ice here.”
My heart started to beat faster. “Why would you do that?”
The smile on his face got bigger, his eyes seemed to soften somehow when he looked at me. “You know why,” he said simply.
I didn’t know what to say. So, with a tight nod at him, I turned and walked back to my desk.
The rest of my first day back went how I expected. When Morgan saw me, he gathered me up in a giant hug and spun around ignoring my demands to put me down. Garcia hugged me like she hadn’t seen me in years and brought me cupcakes. Emily and JJ took me to lunch. Hotch made me fill out forms. And Reid…well, whenever I turned to look at him, I found he was already looking at me.
--
The very next day when I showed up for work, I was suspicious. Every day since that Friday, Reid had done something. But when I arrived in the morning there was nothing on my desk. Nothing appeared out of place. Maybe it’s a fluke. Reid was already sitting at his desk, scrolling through his e-mail.
I knew what he had done the second I sat down. For as long as I had worked at this desk in the BAU bullpen, there was one wheel on my chair that was wonky. It never wanted to roll, and it always drove me insane. No matter what I tried the wheel never worked this well, and especially not this smoothly. Did he-?
When I looked over, he was already looking at me, that same soft smile on his face.
--
On my third day back at work there was nothing on my desk when I arrived, there was nothing anywhere. But I knew him, I knew he wasn’t done yet; there had to be something.
That something was on my desk when I got back from turning in my return to active duty forms to Hotch. There was a single sunflower in a vase sitting on my desk. I walked up to it and touched the petals softly. It was beautiful, but I was confused.
Walking over to his desk, I didn’t bother trying to hide the confusion or apprehension on my face. This time he wasn’t pretending to be doing something else; his eyes had been on me since the moment I walked out of Hotch’s office.
“It’s beautiful,” I began. “But I don’t understand the symbolism.”
He tilted back in his chair, looking up at me. “Sunflowers always want to be looking at the sun…and so do I.”
Because he thinks I’m the sun.
“But don’t sunflowers stop turning towards the sun when they get older?”
He just nodded. “They might, but I never will.”
I ran my tongue over my lips before I pulled both of them in between my teeth. I felt tears prick the corners of my eye. “Why?” I asked, my voice slightly thicker than normal.
Spencer stood up then; it looked like he would reach for me, but he quickly put his hands at his sides. “I’ll stop if it hurts you. Y/n, I promise to never hurt you again.” His words were earnest, his eyes were pleading. “But ‘why?’ You know why.”
I just nodded my head slightly, blowing out a shaky breath. “Thank you, it’s lovely.”
I don't know why Spencer said I was the sun because his smile at that moment was the brightest thing I'd ever seen. "Is it too much if I throw in a cheesy line, like, 'it's not as lovely as you?'"
“Brat,” I muttered, turning quickly so he wouldn’t see my smile.
That bright smile was still on his face when we all met in the conference room 20 minutes later. I saw Rossi clap him on the back when he walked in. JJ shot him a very sweet smile, it was almost motherly, like she was proud of him. Prentiss just winked.
Morgan wasn’t subtle. I’m not sure he knew how to be. He held out his fist for a fist bump, laughing openly when Spencer just wrapped his hand around it and shook.
“Alright,” Hotch said from the front of the room. Fuck, even he is smiling a little bit. “Let’s get started.”
--
Less than 30 minutes later, I was boarding the BAU jet for the first time in more than a month. We were off to Arkansas to assist the Hot Springs police department to catch a suspected serial killer.
I was one of the last ones on board; I smiled awkwardly when I saw everyone’s eyes on me.  
“What kept you, Pretty Girl?” Morgan asked with a grin.
Oh, I’m Pretty Girl now? Subtle. I shot Morgan a look to indicate I wasn’t amused. “I had to talk to Garcia.”
Rossi looked at me expectantly “…About?”
They were all just staring at me, and they weren’t even trying to hide their amusement. I sighed. “I couldn’t just leave it on my desk, you assholes.” Garcia might have squealed loudly when I brought her my sunflower and asked her to watch over it for me.
Every one of them laughed…except Reid. Reid just bit his bottom lip and dropped his gaze. He looked so much like my nervous boy that it made me ache. That was the first time I allowed myself to admit how much I missed my darling boy.
--
I was in the middle of going over victimology when a cup of coffee was sat down beside me. I mumbled my thanks, not even glancing up, just reaching out to grab it. It wasn’t until my fingers wrapped around the cup that my head snapped up.
“Morgan,” I called. “What’s this?”
His smile was very, very bright. “It’s your coffee.”
I picked up the iced coffee, giving it a once over. “Are you or are you not the same Derek Morgan that has said multiple times, ‘I ain’t no damn barista if you want special coffee you go get it your damn self'?"  
He nodded, his smile never wavering. “I am, so don’t get used to it. But when my boy has finally stopped being a dumbass and is trying to win his girl back?” He winked at me. “I’ll make an exception when he asks for a favor.”
I heard JJ laugh softly from the other end of the table. I scrunched my face into a mock glare at both of them. “Don’t you have a murderer to catch?”
He turned before leaving the room, putting a hand to his chest in a very dramatic fashion. “Pretty Girl, you should know SSA Derek Morgan can multitask!”
--
I still don’t know what it is about towns in the middle of nowhere, but it never fails, one of the cops from said town will try to weasel his way into my bed the second the case is over. I was packing up after the unsub was booked when someone cleared his throat behind me to get my attention. This time it was a tall, slightly out of shape Officer named Reynolds. His smile was greasy but at least he didn’t try to touch me.
“I’m sorry,” I said, offering what I hoped was a polite smile. “I have a boyfriend.” I always tried to be diplomatic when this happened, just because I didn’t need to Hotch reprimand me for threatening a member of the local police…again.
Officer Reynolds’ scoffed. “He doesn’t have to know.”
The smile dropped off my face, my eyes hardening. Fucker. “That’d be pretty fucking difficult since he’s a member of my team and he’s sharing a room with me.” I picked up my bag and tossed a sarcastic “nice working with you” over my shoulder before I hightailed it out of the conference room. I didn’t stop until I got to the main entrance of the precinct, where I planned to wait for the rest of the team.
“So, am I the boyfriend you mentioned?” A voice asked from behind me.
Of course. I turned to see Dr. Spencer Reid looking very pleased with himself. “I also didn’t know you wanted to share a room with me tonight. We each have single rooms though, so we don’t have to swap with anyone else…” he trailed off pretending to think. “So, who’s room are we taking?”
I rolled my eyes. “Reid, if it got some slimy cop off my back, I’d tell him you were my husband. I will throw you under the bus to save myself from a very awkward conversation that would probably lead to me punching someone.”
His face changed, he no longer looked overly pleased with himself. He looked like the same man that sat on the couch with me all those weeks ago and asked me if I kissed my submissives. He looked like the Spencer that used to be mine.
“You act like I’d mind,” he said quietly.
“Mind what? Being thrown under the bus?”
“Being called your husband.”
I froze, my eyes immediately dropped to the floor. I couldn’t look at him, I couldn’t. I let out a very shaky exhale, a sure sign that I was about to cry. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t. Why is he doing this to me?
I saw his beaten-up converse move into my field of view. He was close to me now, but he didn’t touch me. “I’m sorry, y/n,” he whispered. “But I promised I wouldn’t lie to you anymore.”
JJ walked around the corner then and he broke away from me. I just stared at my hands the whole drive back to the hotel.
--
The clock on the bedside table blinked 11:47 pm. I had been lying in bed since 9 pm trying to fall asleep. When we arrived back to the hotel, I didn’t speak to anyone, I just kept my head down and walked straight into my room. Once I was inside, I tore my clothes off and got into the shower, turning it on the hottest temperature I could tolerate.
I felt the tears; they were right there, I felt them pulsing underneath my eyes. I didn’t know how to do this. I didn’t know how to deny myself everything I had ever wanted when it was offering itself to me…I was the reason I was in pain right now, and it was all because I was so fucking terrified to trust him again.
I glanced back over at the clock. 11:49 pm.
Taking a deep breath, trying to pull some sort of courage into myself, I picked up my phone.
He’s probably sleeping, I reasoned, giving myself one last chance to back out.
But then the phone was dialing. I listened to the ringing and held my breath. Because what was I supposed to do if he didn’t answer? What was I supposed to do if he did?
“Y/n?” his sleepy voice asked, sounding disoriented but urgent. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
Everything. And no. But I couldn't get my mouth to open. I couldn't say anything. If I opened my mouth, then everything would spill out. All the pain, all the secrets, all the hopes, and fears…and it would all be bared to Spencer Reid.
In the way that Spencer knew everything, he knew what I needed then. “I’ll be right there.” I heard a rustling on his end of the line, but he never hung up the phone.
Before I was ready, I heard the same hesitant knock on my door that I heard every night he came to my hotel room just because he missed me; the same knock that I had heard that first day at my apartment. The knock was the final crack that broke the dam I had built around my emotions in an attempt to hold them back so they wouldn’t sweep me away.
I don’t remember walking to the door, I don’t remember unlocking it; all I remember is Spencer standing on the other side in the same Caltech t-shirt and sweatpants he wore in my apartment when we sat on my couch on our first real night together.
“Y/n?” His eyes ran over me frantically. He came into the room, shutting the door behind him. His hands reached out like he would grab me, but I saw the indecision on his face. “Tell me what you need, baby. Please?”
The moment that I was so afraid of happened then. The tears finally flooded my eyes and my jaw unlocked. “Spence, I’m scared.” I swallowed, trying to control my broken voice. “I want this so much but I’m terrified.”
His arms enveloped me before I was finished speaking. One hand in the center of my back, the other on the back of my head. He smelt like coffee, laundry detergent, and my Spencer. My body shook in his arms. The pain from his words at the hospital, the pain from him not being there when I woke up, the pain of losing him, and the pain of having to turn him away for almost a week when he was all I wanted; all of that pain just poured out of me while I sobbed into his chest.
“I’m so sorry, y/n,” he whispered against my hair. “I’m so, so sorry. And I will do anything-I’ll do everything to prove to you that I will never hurt you again.”
He kept holding me until my tears finally quieted, my body almost went limp in his arms. The weight of all of that pain was so heavy for so long, and now that I didn’t have to hold it, I was so tired.
“Spence?” My throat felt raw, my eyes were puffy.
“Hmm?”
I didn’t lift my head to look at him. “I’m ready to hear it now.”
Spencer froze, I’m pretty sure he stopped breathing for a moment. Then he leaned back, pulling his chest away from my face. Both of his hands cupped my face, his thumbs moving over my cheeks softly, wiping the tear trails away. Spencer held me like I was more fragile than glass like I was made of something that would crumble into nothing if he so much as moved wrong.
“Are you sure?” he asked quietly, his beautiful golden-brown eyes searching mine.
I nodded. “Yeah, I think so,” I said, giving him a small shaky laugh.
He tilted my head up slightly before his lips brushed against my forehead. “I loved you before you were ready to hear it; I loved you before you even knew I existed.” He pressed another kiss my cheek. “I loved you since the first time you smiled at me.” He kissed my other cheek. “I will never stop telling you how much I love you.” He trailed his lips over to my mouth. “I will love you forever…because no one has ever loved someone the way I love you,” he whispered, his breath washing over my lips.
I leaned forward and brushed my mouth against his. I felt the final layer of my resistance crumble. “Please don’t hurt me again, Spence.”
He pulled away to stare in my eyes. “I will never hurt you like this again. I’m so fucking sorry, y/n.”
“Just kiss me, Spencer.”
He gave me a tiny grin at the command. “I thought you didn’t kiss your submissives,” he teased.
I brought my hand up to hold his face. “You know I break all my rules for you, my darling, nervous boy.”
--
--
Series tag list: @abschaffer2​ @liaabsurd​ @brokenanxiety​ @thisiscalmandits-dr​​ @less-intelligent-spencerreid​​ @reidsmyhusband-emilysmymistress @cielo1984​ @sarcasticsagittarius1998​ @101donuts​ @heyitssarahk @creepingfromthecorners​ @fanfictionislifetho​ @annestine​ @boiled-onionrings​ @gublerspublers @dolanfivsosxox​ @lamusaeuterpe @publiusvirgilius​ @suzystuff @differentkettleoffishalltogether @georgiamae​ @thatsonezesty13​ @addie5264​ @hopefulfangirl24​ @april-14-blog​ @whateverthefuckm8​ @alissablake​
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Taglist for all my writing: @rachelxwayne​ @pinkdiamond1016​ @sickeninglyshoujo​ @justagirllookingforherplace​ @nanocoool​ @andiebeaword​ @imjusthereformggcontent​
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lady-divine-writes · 3 years
Text
Good Omens one-shot - “When God Closes a Door, She Opens a Window, But It's Up to You to Find It” (Rated T)
Summary: Crowley goes through unconventional lengths to escape a bad blind date...
... and ends up finding an angel in an unexpected place. (2770 words)
Notes: This is a re-write of an older story, but I think I like this version better. Human au. Fluffy as heck. CW: If you get squicked out by being covered in food trash, proceed with caution.
Read on AO3.
"Bollocks... bollocks... bollocks... bollocks... " Crowley mutters as she paces back and forth, simmering behind her eyeballs with so much anxiety she's about to tear her hair out by the roots. The only plan she can come up with to solve her current dilemma grows hotly in her mind, but she's searching for something - ANYTHING! - to take its place. 
Maybe something along the lines of acting like an adult, womaning up, and admitting this isn’t going to work? Be upfront about it and say it to the man’s face, for Heaven's sake! 'Go on, Crowley!' she thinks. 'Go ahead! One foot in front of the other. Steady on! You can do this!'
But she’s become so tired of the grind – going to bars, faithfully tending her online dating profile, endless blind dates set up by well-meaning friends, the rejecting and the rejections. She can’t face one more. It physically hurts, knots her stomach muscles until the pain turns her world monochromatic.
Crowley had had high hopes for this one, too. Her date Steven is the new doctor of the boy she nannies. He and Crowley have plenty in common – a love of theater and fine dining, and an appreciation for fashion. Crowley thought dating a pediatrician would be fascinating. After summarizing the pertinent details of her own life, perhaps her date would talk about getting through medical school, toss in a few whimsical stories about the joys (quote/unquote) of working with children - baby’s first shots where the parents cried more than the infant, or the tale of a precocious little girl who demanded he put a Band-Aid on her teddy before he helped her (the way Crowley's young charge had with his first doctor when he was around three). They could swap war stories, bond in that way.
But Steven’s favorite part of his profession is pediatric surgery, and, unfortunately, he loves to talk shop. Every morsel of conversation has been inappropriate for dinner and graphic in nature - appendectomy this and tonsillectomy that, abscesses and pus and untreated sores - until Crowley’s face turned as green as her salad and she couldn’t look at her steak anymore.
Neither could their neighbors, who flagged down a passing waiter and requested a new table. They've been sat near the kitchen, which most diners would loathe, but they look heaps happier.
Crowley excused herself as delicately as she could and raced to the loo, needing to escape any more gruesome talk. 
That was over fifteen minutes ago. 
She’s trapped with no way out.
She pictures the layout of the restaurant in her head. There has to be a back way in and out of this place. All restaurants have an exit through the kitchen, right? But the toilet, the kitchen, and the front door are all in full view of their table. Steven is sure to spot her sneaking out no matter how stealthy she is.
Crowley turns on the cold water and splashes her face, scolding herself to think, think, think! She’s an intelligent woman. She can come up with a way out of this. Could she phone someone to come down to the restaurant and make an excuse for her? Not likely, not on short notice. Her friends Anathema and Newt wouldn't be able to find a sitter - ironic, seeing as Crowley is a nanny, and if the tables were turned, she'd be more than willing to lend a hand.
Could she phone her employers, ask Mrs. Dowling to claim an emergency at home? No. She doesn't want to get them tangled up in her personal woes, especially when they concern a man they think of so highly.
She could look up one of those services that make fake calls to your cell phone to get you out of sticky situations, but that would mean going back out there to make the ruse believable. And from the way her hands lock around the lip of the basin every time she thinks about taking a step outside the door, she knows that isn’t happening.
Crowley looks at herself in the mirror, looks into her eyes, and reminds herself to calm down. Slow her breathing. She’ll find a solution. 
And suddenly, there it is. 
In the reflection of the mirror, she sees what might be her only way out.
A window. 
The only window in there, propped open enough that she’d be able to fit through. 
It’s kind of high, sort of narrow, and definitely a last resort. But what other choice does she have?
Loads, in reality. It just doesn't feel like it.
But does she really have to resort to jumping out a window? She’s already been in there for (she checks her watch and her eyes open wide) twenty-five minutes! And her date hasn’t come to check on her once. Maybe the man got the hint and left (hopefully after paying what should be close to a hundred-pound check). 
Crowley tests her luck, opening the door a sliver, praying silently don’t be there, don’t be there, don’t be there...
But there is no God - not one on her side, anyway - because there sits Dr. Steven Malory, talking to the waiter, telling him about another fascinating surgical procedure. He makes an exaggerated cutting motion across his stomach with a butter knife. The poor waiter, weighed down by a tray of soup bowls, nods politely, but looks like he may vomit in the tureen.
She winces. That poor waiter. Who knows how many times he's been called upon to lend an ear since her absence, or how many more times he'll be forced to endure another gory tale before Dr. Malory realizes she's gone. She peeks over her shoulder at the window, then back to the table, where Steven has his phone out, Googling something to the waiter's dismay. She slowly closes the door and backs away.
Window it is.
Crowley shelves the nagging feeling that she's perpetuating the most pathetic trope in the dating world and starts constructing a platform. There’s not much available – a small stepstool underneath the sink; a short, square, plastic rubbish bin that looks less than steady; another taller rubbish bin, dented along one side, looking like someone else already used it to make a break for freedom; and the toilet and basin, both miles away and completely unmovable.
Crowley does some quick engineering in her head and figures that if she turns the small bin over onto the stepstool, she might gain the height she needs to grab the lip of the window and hoist herself up, which would eliminate using the dented bin. She doesn’t like the odds that she won’t slip, fall, and crack her head open. She’s not so much worried about doing any permanent damage, but of having to explain to her date why she’s lying on the floor, covered in trash, and bleeding profusely.
With her luck, he'll giddily insist on stitching up any gashes, drawing a crowd of bystanders around to watch.
Crowley pushes the stool up against the wall with her foot. She dumps the trash from the small bin into its larger counterpart and sets it on the stool, centering it as best she can to keep it from sliding. With a hand on the wall for support, she puts a foot on the bin and attempts to pull herself up. It wobbles back and forth, then gives one backward lurch that nearly sends Crowley flying. 
She determines quickly that this isn’t going to work the way she had planned and makes a desperate leap for the window, using all her upper body strength to get her halfway through.
Crowley shudders when the cold air hits her skin, shocked by the drop in temperature, but mostly from fear of death. She looks down. 
A huge mistake on her part.
A horribly placed streetlamp keeps her from seeing into the alley, but she’s pretty sure she remembers a dumpster underneath this window. She had parked her Bentley in the lot across the way and saw it on the walk in. She looks out into the rows of cars and spots her vehicle. She sighs with relief. 
Now she’s a little more sure, but still not 100%.
Worst case scenario, she lands in food muck, probably not rotten since it’s still actively dinner, and ruins an expensive designer outfit.
Of course, that’s not actually the worst-case scenario, is it? Worst case scenario, she misses the dumpster altogether, hits the pavement, and breaks her leg, but she’s determined to remain optimistic. At this moment, when her anxiety-ridden brain has her convinced that the only logical route out is through this flippin' window, that’s a chance she’s willing to take.
She swings her right leg over, grateful that she chose slacks over a skirt tonight, till she’s straddling the narrow sill, bent in half by the metal lip of the window frame. She balances there, the dull edge digging into her sternum, her belly, and her crotch, but she can’t make herself jump. 
She’ll need to trick herself into it. 
She forces herself to relax, teeter-tottering back and forth, not dwelling on the possible outcome, just trying to work her way to the right far enough that she knocks herself off-kilter.
Fate lends a hand in the form of a drunken passerby yelling, “Oi! Oi, lookie there! There’s a big bird... human... thing hanging out that window!” 
Crowley panics, afraid she's about to be mistaken for someone breaking into a busy restaurant and not out. She fumbles, flails, starts falling head first, scrambles to get a hold. She hears a distant, “No! No, wait!” as her fingers slip. There are three seconds of cold wind and a sinking feeling in her stomach before she lands on her bum, thankfully in the dumpster, surrounded by the smell of not-too-rank food, the squish of something under her body that she thinks might be mashed cauliflower... 
... and a scream.
“Ouch!”
“Oh my God! I’m sorry!” 
Crowley yelps when her body lifts, something extraordinarily strong underneath pushing her up. She reaches around the slippery mess and wet plastic bags, struggling to pull herself off whoever is in the rubbish under her while trying to ignore the gravy seeping into her slacks, or the rice pilaf embedding itself beneath her freshly glossed fingernails. She knows she's broken two at minimum. 
How much worse could this evening get?
“I’m sorry!” Crowley scrambles to her knees, crawls away a few feet. “I’m so, so sorry!” 
“It’s alright, my dear.” A voice underneath her chuckles, its owner emerging from a layer of poached fish and au gratin potatoes.
Crowley turns in time to catch a glimpse as they move into the light. A woman wearing a vintage-inspired emerald gown covered in Hollandaise sauce and ranch dressing smiles sheepishly at her. The white light overhead gives a halo effect to her silvery-blonde hair, and her blue eyes almost glow.
She's quite breathtaking. 
“I thought I had reserved a private dumpster,” she jokes. “I’ll need to have a word with the maître de."
Crowley stares at her, stunned. “I… I don’t understand. What are you doing in here?”
“I suspect I might be here for the same reason as you,” she says, wiping mayonnaise off her hand before offering it to Crowley. “I’m Aziraphale.”
“Crowley. I’m sorry I landed on you.” She takes Aziraphale’s hand, forgetting to wipe hers off before and smushing creamed spinach between them. Crowley groans in embarrassment, but Aziraphale laughs.
“No worries.” Aziraphale doesn't let go immediately the way Crowley thought she would, her smile becoming brighter the longer she holds on. “It’s the most exciting thing that’s happened all evening.”
“So... I take it you’re running away from a bad date, too, huh?” Crowley asks, regretting when Aziraphale finally lets go.
“I'm afraid so.” Aziraphale glances down with a long sigh. “A friend set me up, but I swear, the only men she knows are unemployed, torpid, and skeevy.”
“Wow. That’s some A-plus word usage right there.”
“Yes, well, the written word is my passion."
“Does that mean you're the one who wrecked the silver rubbish bin?"
“Did I?” Aziraphale looks up at the window and grimaces. “I should probably offer to replace that then, shouldn't I? What about you?” Aziraphale turns her soft blue eyes back Crowley's way. “How bad was your date going?”
“I can now perform an appendectomy with my eyes shut.”
“Yikes. I take it that’s not a turn-on for you?”
“Not in the slightest. I appreciate medicine as much as the next gal, but I’d rather not know the gritty details." Crowley stares at Aziraphale until Aziraphale notices, then the two look away, blushing like giggly teenagers flirting in a coffee shop instead of two adults stuck in the trash. Crowley can't help herself. Regardless of the stench of curdled butter and cheese that will probably be with her for life, Aziraphale is a calming presence. And she looks like an angel. An honest-to-God angel! 
And Crowley found her in the trash. 
What are the odds?
“You know, we might want to get out of here before anyone else drops in,” Aziraphale suggests, rising to her feet and lending Crowley a hand.
“Yeah,” Crowley agrees. "Guess that's my night over. Though... " She looks down at her blouse and trousers, positively caked with sweet potatoes, chicken grease, tomato sauce, and chutney "... I’m not looking forward to driving home like this.”
"How far do you have to go?"
"I'm in Mayfair."
"Oh!" Aziraphale gasps. "Isn't that a lovely part of town?"
"I enjoy it," Crowley replies, never having felt quite so proud to live in Mayfair as she does in this moment. "And you?"
"I have a shop in SoHo."
"Lucky. You're just a hop, skip, and a jump, aren't you?"
"Yes, I am... " Aziraphale chews the inside of her cheek as her words hang, balanced in the air between stopping a thought or continuing it. “I hope you don’t think I’m being too forward, but if you come back to my shop, I have a shower. We could clean up there... " Aziraphale sputters when Crowley's eyebrow arcs sharply upward. "S-separately, of course! A-and order in some pie. I know a great spot nearby. I dare say they have the best pie in the world! And they deliver.”
“I don’t have a change of clothes,” Crowley says, wary of taking Aziraphale up on her invitation. Garbage notwithstanding, meeting her has definitely been an improvement to the way things were going. 
"I might have something that would work for you." Aziraphale sizes Crowley up, but not in a creepy way. In a surprisingly nurturing way. "It would be nice to salvage the evening, don't you think?"
"It would." But one disastrous date is plenty for the night. Should Crowley jump straight to another with a woman she met in a dumpster? Then again, it would be wrong for her to assume that spending time with Aziraphale would be disastrous. Plus the story of how they met is way too fantastic to waste on self-doubt.
Crowley took a chance on jumping out a window with only hope to guide her. She’d be stupid not to take a chance on this.
“Sure,” Crowley says, confident with her decision. “Your car or mine?” The words slip out before she considers the fact that she's talking about her baby. A vintage car that she, due to an extreme case of sheer luck, has been the sole owner of. She won't even wear muddy shoes in her car. Or rayon! On top of her own ruined outfit, which will need to be dry cleaned twice and then set on fire, if she lets Aziraphale in her car, she'll have two sloppy, food-stained seats that she’ll need to have scoured. 
Maybe Aziraphale will laugh her off and offer to take her own car. Why would she want to leave it behind, anyway?
“Oh, I didn't drive,” Aziraphale says, looking down sadly at her own destroyed dress. “I took the bus.”
Crowley's heart clenches. There's that decision made. There's no way she's going to suggest Aziraphale take the bus while Crowley drives her car. She just prays that, with time, her baby will forgive her.
“My car it is then.” Crowley loops her arm covered in soup through Aziraphale’s arm covered in whipped cream and leads the way. Aziraphale smiles, holds Crowley's arm a wee bit tighter, and Crowley becomes certain this new development will be worth the money she'll spend detailing her car in the morning.
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ssa-babygirl · 4 years
Text
Out of My League [Part 3]
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Single mom!Reader
Word count: ~4.5k 
Summary: Nothing brings two friends together like a bit of grief with a side of daddy issues. (Mixed POV, includes flashbacks)
Warning(s): As the summary states, angst, grief and daddy issues, mentions of kidnapping, mentions of cancer, a few swear words, i think that’s it??? i use the word “smile” like 138407894 times i’m so sorry i hate noticing my crutch words
Author’s Note: I am SO sorry how long this took I honestly have no excuse, this chapter isn’t even that great but this is only two thirds of what I actually intended this part to be so GUESS WHAT I SPLIT IT UP!!!! the next part shouldn’t take too long (I say that but watch it’s gonna take like another year) and it’s gonna be super fluffy so DON’T Y’ALL WORRY IT’S GONNA BE FLUFF CENTRAL FOR THE NEXT COUPLE OF CHAPTERS
[Previous Part] [Series Masterlist]
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WASHINGTON D.C., 2007
(Reader POV)
You had only been to D.C. a few times before to visit your dad, normally under happier circumstances, such as him getting sworn in for another term, but this time was not the case. You got the phone call from your mother the evening before when you quickly packed yours and Jamie’s bags for the flight that left later that night. The few hours you had spent in D.C. already felt like long days. You were physically and emotionally exhausted. Jamie had never been on a plane before and was grappling with the effects of jet lag.
You needed a bit of a pick-me-up yourself, so you ran over to a coffee shop for a bit of a change of scenery. It was about eight o'clock in the morning when you heard your name being called, but not by the barista making your drinks, but by a familiar voice that you had only heard over the phone for a couple of months since his last visit home. You turned around to face the source and locked eyes with Spencer.
“Hey!” You smiled, trying your best to not look like you had just had the longest 24 hours of your life.
“What are you doing here? Why didn’t you say you were gonna be in town?”
“I didn’t know I was gonna be in town until last night!” Spencer could see right through you. He pursed his lips, not asking what was wrong yet, but still opting to check-in and make sure you’re okay.
“How are you feeling? Jet lagged?”
“Some profiler.” Your chuckle came out more annoyed than you would have liked it to. 
“What’s up?”
“Nothing, just getting some coffee--”
“No, like, are you okay?” He knew something was wrong, he wasn’t stupid, quite the opposite, by a long shot.
“I’m fine, Spence,” you lied through your teeth.
“Then who isn’t?” Panic and worry flashed across his face, “Is Jamie okay?
“Yes! He’s fine!” You couldn’t help but smile at the relief Spencer displayed that your son was safe and well, his hand coming up to rest over his heart. You hesitated for a second before giving in and telling him why you seemed so off, “My dad’s sick in the hospital.”
“Oh! Do they know what’s wrong with him?”
“Yep. Stage 4 lung cancer.” Your dad had been a smoker for most of your life. He tried to quit after Jamie was born, but the damage had already been done.
Spencer looked genuinely heartbroken as he chewed on the inside of his cheek, trying to think of what to say next “Do you know how much time he has?”
“Couple of weeks if we’re lucky.”
His eyebrow furrowed and his golden eyes softened to an impossible degree, “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. This wasn’t sudden, we’ve been expecting it, but when the doctor says eight to twelve months, and you get through month eight, you start hoping it’s gonna be twelve.”
“Are you going back to the hospital now?”
“Yeah-”
“I’ll come with you!”
“Don’t you have work?”
“I don’t have to be there for another hour and,” he checks his watch, which was pulled over the sleeve of his dark gray cardigan, “fifty-six minutes.”
“The hospital’s out of the way and you hate being late.”
“I hate the thought of you going through this alone even more.” You tried to ignore the warm and fuzzy feeling that gave you but ultimately failed. Those big brown eyes refused to stop studying your face, analyzing any signs that you needed him, which to be fair, you did.
“I’m not alone, I got Jamie and my mom.”
“Even more the reason for me to want to go with you.” He finally dropped the solemn frown and took up a bright smile instead. You swore his grin was contagious because, by the time you both got your coffees, you were smiling just as wide.
You drove back to the hospital in comfortable silence. Walking back to your father’s room felt easier with him by your side. Jamie looked up from his drawing as he saw you approach, beaming at you and his favorite federal agent.
“Doctor Spencer!” He came running up to him and hugging his legs.
“Hey, little man!” Spencer ruffled his hair and grinned down at the tiny human squeezing his arms around his thigh.
Your mother looked up from her book, “Doctor? Spencer? Wait. As in…”
“Yeah, mom.”
She stands and wraps him in a hug, “Oh my goodness, sweetheart, you got so big! You’re all grown up! Oh, and you’re cute, too!” She pinched his now pink cheek as his face twisted into a bashful smile, “Right, Y/N? Spencer got cute!”
Now you were blushing a little.
Why am I blushing? I don’t blush over Spencer!
You pursed your lips and looked him up and down. His striped tie was crooked under his cardigan. His long hair was a bit shaggy, as if he rolled out of bed, showered, and decided to go to work. You just laughed nervously as you met Spencer’s eyes. God, those eyes. “Yeah… I’d say so.”
“You definitely grew into your looks. Honey, this is Spencer. Remember the boy that used to tutor Y/N?”
“Oh, nice to finally meet you, son, I’ve heard a lot about you.” Your father shifted in his bed, managing to sit up slightly.
“You too, sir, I just wish it could have been under better circumstances.”
“Don’t give me any of that ‘sir’ crap, I got enough of that working on the Hill,” your father chuckled but his hearty laugh quickly devolved into a coughing fit. Your mother sat back down on the bed next to him and fed him some ice chips to keep him hydrated.
“So, Spencer, Y/N says you work for the FBI now?” She turns her attention away from her husband and forces a smile.
“Yes! I do.”
You took a seat and sipped your coffee, “He was on the team that helped save Jamie, remember?”
“What division are you in?” Your dad asked.
“The Behavioral Analysis Unit.”
“I got some buddies in the bureau, who’s your supervisor?”
“Aaron Hotchner?”
“Oh, I knew him in his prosecutor days. Helluva lawyer, he got some of my clients put away.”
“Sorry about that.”
“Don’t be, they were guilty, weren’t they?”
Spencer’s phone rang in his pocket, “Speaking of which, I have to go. Got a case.”
“Go! Don’t be late!”
“Go catch the bad guy, Doctor Spencer!”
“Will do, Jamie.” He ruffled his hair before turning to your parents, “Goodbye, Mr. and Mrs. L/N, it was great seeing you.”
“Bye, sweetheart, don’t be a stranger!”
“I’ll walk you out, return the favor.” You walked quietly with him.
“Listen, I don’t know when I’ll be home from this, but I’ll let you know when I get back, and if you’re still here just give me a call, okay?”
“Of course, Spence. Now go catch the bad guy!” You grinned as you parroted your son’s words. He returned your smile and pulled you into a hug. You could feel tears brimming in your eyes, but you fought it off best you could. Spencer could still sense your pain and hugged you as tight as possible. You were the one to pull away first, patting his back and forcing your pursed lips into a smile. His phone started to ring shortly after.
“Don’t let me keep you.”
            (Spencer’s POV)
The case went on for too long. Two whole weeks passed before we were able to come home from Minneapolis. A man was strangling women with short black hair between the ages 30-40 because they reminded him of his mother, it’s standard stuff, it should have been a pretty cut and dry case, but the guy was almost impossible to find, he was completely off the grid. It took Garcia days to just get us a name, let alone contact information. He killed two other women while we were there. One of them was a mother, she had three kids all under the age of 10. Cases like these were always tough, but Gideon had seen enough to talk us all through it. I still wasn’t used to him being gone.
I couldn’t get any sleep on the jet. The nightmares have been coming back with a vengeance since Gideon left. He was like a father to me, my protector, my mentor, and now I have no one.
That’s hyperbolic; I do have the team, and they miss him too, but I’m pretty much alone out on the field. I know I can go to them, but it doesn’t feel right. I don’t like to rely on others because when they leave, I’m by myself.
Which is exactly why I am the only one awake on the jet home.
I suppose I wasn’t totally alone, I could call Y/N, but I wouldn’t wanna bother her if she was with her family. She only has so much time left with her dad. I took my phone out of my pocket anyway and saw a missed call from her last night, I hadn’t seen it before because of the case. If she wanted to talk she probably needed to, right?
I mulled it over in my head, and before I could even come to a decision, my fingers worked on autopilot, dialing the same number I had memorized years ago, and hit call.
Las Vegas, 1994
I picked up the book from the top of the pile she set down on the counter, “You’re reading A Midsummer Night’s Dream?”
“Yeah, for class.”
“If you need any help with that, my mother was a classics professor, I’ve read most of Shakespeare’s works.”
“Really? That’s cool. I’ve read the basics in other classes, Romeo and Juliet, Hamlet, Macbeth, all that, but this one is definitely my favorite so far.”
“Really?”
“Yeah! I don’t know why, but the idea of falling in love with the wrong person just sorta… I dunno… resonates, I guess.”
“Yeah, same here.”
She snorted, “You’re like 12, how would you know about that?”
I bit my lip before explaining, “Reminds me of my parents. They loved each other at one point, obviously, but not enough to stop my dad from leaving us.”
She cringed to herself as if she realized some horrible mistake, “Jeez, I’m sorry, man.”
“It’s okay, you didn’t know.”
“How long ago did he leave?”
“Two years ago.”
“So it’s just been you and your mom?”
“Yeah.”
She stared at the pencil as she twisted it in between her fingers. Her eyes refused to meet mine. “My dad has worked in D.C. pretty much my whole life, and a lot of the time it was just my mom and me. He was always home for Christmas and birthdays, he came to all my recitals as a kid, but he was gone the rest of the year. I see him maybe… fifteen days out of the year?”
She finally looked up, if only for a second. Seeing her eyes, at last, I took note of the sadness behind them, “Which is fine, it’s better than nothing, but I don’t really have a dad the other 350 days of the year, you know? I could call him, but I don’t, it’s always ‘Sorry sweetheart, I’m a bit busy right now.’”
“Yeah, my dad was always too busy too.”
“I know our situations are still really different, and you probably already know this after two years, but it does get easier.”
Present Day
(Reader POV)
You click the button to answer the call, “Spencer?”
“Hey! We’re landing soon, you still in D.C.?” His voice is scratchy like he had just woken up, or like he hadn’t spoken to anyone in a couple of hours.
“Y-yeah! I’m still staying with my mom.”
“How’s your dad?”
You didn’t answer. You didn’t have to, your silence answered his question well enough.
“Oh, shit…” Spencer groaned, “God, Y/N, I’m so sorry…”
“Don’t be, you didn’t know.”
“How long ago?”
“Last week, the funeral was yesterday.” You could hear him grimace over the phone.
“Y/N I am… so sorry I couldn’t be there for you—”
“Don’t be! You had to work, it’s okay, Spencer.”
“I should have called sooner.”
You almost laughed at his tone, “Spencer, you were catching a serial killer, it’s not your responsibility to make sure I’m okay.”
“I know, but—”
“But nothing. I’m fine.”
“How’s Jamie, god, how’s your mother?”
“She’s holding up. I’m helping her out for a while, I don’t want her to be in this house alone.” You decided to leave out the part about you putting a downpayment on an apartment a couple of blocks away from your mother’s house for now.
“How’s Jamie doing?” He asked with perfect timing as Jamie flopped onto the couch behind you.
“Wanna talk to him? He’s right here.”
“Can I? Please?”
“Jamie, baby, wanna talk to Doctor Spencer?” He didn’t even say yes before he leaped up from his seat and grabbed the phone from your hand.
“Hi, Doc!”
“Hey, little man! How’s it going? How are you?” You could still hear his excited voice even though it was nowhere near your ear anymore. It brought a smile to your face as you saw Jamie light up at the sound of your friend on the other side of the call.
“I’m okay. Did you catch the bad guy?”
“Yes, Jamie, we got him. How’s your mom?”
“She’s saying she’s fine, but she’s still really sad.”
“Well, can you put her back on with me?” Jamie hands the phone back to you and runs off to return to his coloring book and crayons.
You sighed before putting the phone back to your ear, “Don’t worry about me, Spence—”
“Come to the BAU.”
He said the words so fast you almost needed him to repeat it, “What?”
“I mean it, I’ll call you when we land, come visit. Bring Jamie and your mom.”
“Won’t you have a ton of work to do when you land?”
“I couldn’t sleep, I did all my paperwork on the jet.”
“Spencer—”
“Please. I need to see you guys.” He was practically begging. It tugged at your heart in a familiar way, but there was a pit in your stomach that you couldn’t place.
“What happened on the case?”
He sighed, “I don’t want to talk about it, okay? Just come in like, an hour.”
You tried to lighten the mood just a little bit, “My mom’s been obsessively baking, want us to bring you your favorite?”
“Did she make her famous oatmeal cookies?” You could almost see his face and the way his brown eyes lit up, even while he was on a plane hours away.
The image brought a soft smile to your face and sparked a tiny bit of light in your heart, “Yep!”
“Y/N L/N, if you bring me some, I will be forever indebted to you.”
“You owe me nothing, Doctor Reid.”
               Security waved you through to the elevator, Spencer had cleared you for entry already. One guard hit the button for the sixth floor and sent you up, one hand holding Jamie’s and the other holding a Tupperware of your mom’s cookies. When the doors opened, you saw the entrance to the bullpen, desks filled with paperwork, and busy agents trying to get it all done. As the three of you crept through the hall to the glass doors, your eyes locked onto Spencer, who was sprawled out in his office chair with a thick book, legs propped up on his desk, and glasses balanced on the ridge of his nose.
“Hi! Who are you here to see?” A chipper blonde with purple cat eyeglasses and curly ponytails waved at you from down the hall.
“Spencer Reid?”
“Oh! He mentioned he’d have visitors, you must be Y/N! I’m Penelope.”
“That’s a pretty name!” Jamie beamed up to the woman, who clutched a hand over her heart and returned his smile.
“Oh! Thank you, sweetheart! What’s your name, kiddo?”
“Jamie!”
“Oh you are just precious, he is precious, Y/N, good kid.”
You laughed at the pair’s enthusiasm, “Thank you, can we just go straight in?”
“Yep! Go ahead!”
You walked up to his desk and placed the cookies next to his computer, pulling his attention away from his book. He turned to look up at you, closing the book and throwing it where his feet rested before he jumped up to wrap his arms around you. Jamie hugged his leg and your mother pressed a kiss to his cheek.
“Hey, how are you guys doing?”
“Spencer, we’re fine.”
He didn’t say anything, just examined your face for any sign of a lie. The frustration on his face said he didn’t find one.
“Stop profiling me, I’m okay.”
“Mommy, can I have a cookie now?” Jamie eyed the container like a hawk; he shared Spencer’s love of oatmeal cookies, especially from your mom.
“Right! You brought your cookies, thank you so much, Mrs. L/N.”
“You’re not a kid anymore, honey, you can call me by my first name.”
“No, I absolutely cannot,” he laughed.
“Y/N?”
You turned around and saw the woman who hugged you while you cried when you thought your son was gone: JJ.
“Hi! Good to see you again!” You brought her in for a hug while Spencer continued to catch up with Jamie and your mom.
“You too! Jamie got so big!” 
“Yeah, he’s starting 3rd grade soon!” You reached around to ruffle Jamie’s hair.
“When does he start?”
“A few weeks! We gotta go back to school shopping!”
“Ooh, that’s exciting! So you’re heading home soon?”
“Um…” You glanced at Spencer and your mom, who was pestering him about whether or not he had a girlfriend, “Actually, I just thought it would be best for us to stay close to my mom. Jamie likes it here, so we’re actually going to be moving here before school starts.”
“A new school! Are you excited, Jamie?”
“Yeah!”
Spencer, still a blushing mess thanks to your mother’s nosiness, sputtered out “Uh… Excited for what?”
“To move to D.C.!” You raised your hands in a little “Surprise!” motion.
“W-what?” He couldn’t stop himself from looking delighted even if he tried.
“We’re moving here to stay close to my mom.”
“She’s been such a good help,” she gestured to the cookies, half gone over the course of the conversation, “I’m not really ready to give her up just yet.”
“Spence, you should show her around!” JJ’s face had an unreadable look, but I guess that’s what profilers are for “Take her sightseeing. Jamie, have you been to the Washington Monument yet?”
“Nope! Doctor Spencer, can you take us?”
“Sure, little man, you want your mom and grandma to come with?”
“Yes!”
Spencer grinned at him, ruffling his curls before smiling at you. His eyes were scrunched into thin lines from his cheeks, but there was still something behind them. Something you couldn’t quite read. His smile softened slightly and you finally got a clear view of his hazel eyes. His lips parted like he was about to say something, but Jamie cut him off again.
“Ooh! Ooh! Can we go to the Smithsonian?”
“Oh, honey, you’re gonna wish you didn’t say that,” JJ joked.
“The kid knows everything, you’ll be there for hours,” a deep voice said behind you.
“Morgan!” You smiled and stretched your arms out to hug him.
“Good to see you again, Y/N.”
When you turned back to Spencer, his warm grin was gone, replaced by a glare directed at Morgan. Had something happened with them? Last you heard they were best friends. Maybe that’s what happened on the case? Maybe that’s why he was so upset on the phone? Whatever it was had to be bad because he barely spoke for the rest of the visit.
               A few weeks later, after you were all moved into your new apartment and Jamie was settled into his new school, you called Spencer. He owed you a trip to the Washington Monument. On your little day trip, there was no such thing as silence. Even in the quiet museum, Spencer’s voice filled the air, spewing facts about the monument, the memorial, the exhibits, and everything in between. Jamie loved to learn, so he hung onto every word that he heard.
“Plans for the monument’s development actually started in 1783, before Washington was even elected president. D.C. wasn’t even the capital of the country yet. Washington was actually against the monument because he didn’t want to use public funds for it, but after his death, Congress wanted to build him a mausoleum--”
You didn’t mind the rants. You still loved to listen to him ramble. Even if you didn’t understand what he was talking about sometimes, the sound of his voice was just soothing, especially after the stress of moving across the country. 
Jamie got tired after walking around all day after the tour of the National Museum of Natural History and the Washington Monument, so your mom offered to take him home. You planted a kiss to his forehead and ruffled his hair, hugging your mom goodbye as Spencer high fived him and waved as they went off in the direction of home.
“You know, you didn’t have to stay with me. If you wanna go home too, you can.”
“No. I wanna stay with you.”
A small smile crept across his lips, blush rising to his cheeks. He bit his lips and looked down at his feet as he started walking off to the next stop on his little tour.
“Where to now, Doc?”
“It’s a surprise.”
“Come on, tell me, tell me!”
“No, ‘cuz then it’s not a surprise!”
“I’m aware of the definition of surprise, you don’t need to have an eidetic memory to know that.” You would just have to rely on your less refined profiling skills to figure out where you were going. You were on foot, so it couldn’t be too far. 
“Why aren’t we taking a cab?”
“Because I wanna walk with you.”
Just hail a cab, it takes way less time than--
Oh.
You walked side by side for the remainder of the distance. He did most of the talking, telling you stories about the team. You took notice of the softness in his voice when he talked about Morgan. He wasn’t bitter anymore. 
“--And then Garcia answered the phone.”
“Oh, god, what’d she say?”
“‘Talk dirty to me.’”
“No!”
“Yep!”
“She said that to your boss.”
“Morgan was mortified, you should have seen his face.”
You looked at him while he grinned at the memory. It was the most at peace you’d seen him in… well, a while.
“So… you guys are cool now?”
The peace was replaced with confusion, “What do you mean?”
Your pace faltered, but you kept walking, “Didn’t you guys…? Weren’t you fighting?”
“No? Why would you think that?”
You pursed your lips and furrowed your brows, “No reason.”
Why else would he have been mad at Morgan when I went to visit? You thought, There’s no other reason! Unless… 
Oh--
“We’re here!” Spencer stopped in his tracks, looking up at a large white structure with tall windows and stone carvings decorating the walls. You turned and saw the sign out front that read: “Folger Shakespeare Library.”
“Spencer…” You gaped at the sign, a small, awe-filled smile tugging at your lips.
“I remembered how much you loved Shakespeare in school, I thought you’d get a kick out of this.”
“Spencer, this is… This is wonderful!”
“Good surprise?”
“Great surprise!”
You grabbed him by the arm and tugged him up the front steps as he digs through his pockets for his wallet. Once inside, he bought two tickets for the next show: Midsummer Night’s Dream. Your favorite. It didn’t start for another half hour, so he led you to the reading room.
The room was beautiful, to put it lightly. Three ornate chandeliers hung from the ceiling. The furniture and accents were all done in a dark wood, shelves packed tightly with books. The setting sun shone through the breathtaking stained glass windows. An unlit fireplace rested against the wall. Spencer led you up to the second level, a balcony wrapping around the border of the room. 
“Thank you for today,” you beamed, “I haven’t seen Jamie that happy since…”
“I know the feeling. I haven’t felt this okay since…” His gaze dropped to his feet, trying to swallow the words that came out too soon.
“Since what?”
“Since uh...” He glanced back up to your face, “Since Gideon left the team.”
Spencer never told you he left. Agent Gideon kept tabs on Jamie after his rescue. For the last three years, he got a card in the mail on Christmas and his birthday. He always checked in and asked how he was doing. When you went to visit Spencer at the BAU a few weeks ago, you wanted to say hi to Agent Gideon and thank him for his consideration, but you hadn’t seen him. You thought he was just taking a personal day, he worked too hard anyways from what Spencer told you. 
“Spence, why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t think you’d care.”
The words were like a spark that shocked your heart awake from a lovely sleep, and now it was upset to be so rudely awoken, “Of course I care! What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t wanna know the reason you’ve been so… off.”
“What do you mean ‘off?’”
“You don’t have to be a profiler to see you haven’t been yourself in… when did Gideon leave?”
He played with a loose thread on the sleeve of his sweater and looked back down at his feet, the toe of his converse nudging at the emerald green carpet, “Couple of months ago.”
“You could have told me.”
“You’ve had your own stuff going on. It’s not that bad.”
“You don’t have to convince yourself that you aren’t having a hard time just because I am. You don’t always have to be the hero.”
“Neither do you, you know.”
“I really am fine.”
“Y/N, he was your dad, you’re allowed to be upset.”
“I am, okay?” You snapped, “I miss him like hell! He was always just one phone call away and now…” One hand carded through your hair as you inhaled deeply, placing your other hand on the banister beside you to steady yourself.
“I’m not going to pretend that our situations are the same because they aren’t, but I’ll tell you the same thing you told me when we were kids.” He placed his hand close to yours on the banister, your fingers almost touching. Almost. “It gets easier, not seeing him every day. But just ‘cuz he wasn’t around doesn’t mean you can’t feel bad.”
You force a smile, “Thanks, Spence.”
“Of course.” He wrapped his arms around you and held you tight. The hug wasn’t particularly emotional. Neither one of you felt like you were about to cry, it just felt nice to be in each other's embrace.
“Show’s starting soon.” He muttered into your ear before pulling away, walking off towards the theater with you following close behind.
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